Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Brian Quinn!

Episode Date: March 6, 2023

Kippy and Foley are joined by the hilarious Brian Quinn! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ Ladder Life: https://www.LadderLife.com/GARBAGE Go Factor: https://go.factor75.com/Garbage130 Promo Code: Garbage130 Rocket Money: https://www.rocketmoney.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Tor alert, baby, look out. Stay trashy, Tor, it's about to kick in the full swing gang. We're adding cities, we're adding shows, tickets are going quick. Come out and see us, little live stand-up comedy. Plus, we pay AYG with the crowd, it's a good, good time. Come and hang with the boys. Yeah, baby, in March, we're knocking out Baltimore,

Virginia Beach, Richmond, Virginia, Oklahoma City, Dallas, Texas, Houston, Texas, Austin, Texas, second show added, New Haven, Connecticut. There's about two tree tickets left that they're even available anymore. We've got Burlington, Vermont, Tampa, second show added, first show showed out, Dania Beach, Florida, Raleigh, North Carolina,

Louisville, Kentucky, just added. Cleveland and Columbus, get those tickets. More cities coming soon, let's party. Let's do it. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's that little show, we sit there with your favorite comedians, and we find it after good to be classy. After just a big old piece of trash.

I'm your host H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're down here at Antutti's basement. She's upstairs, taking a nice little nap. Okay. Waiting for that settlement check to clear. I hear it's coming. It's gonna be raining cash here soon, gang. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.

He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. She is an international businessman, and he's my best pal in the whole wide world, and I love him. I don't care who knows it. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan, everybody. Lots of gang.

Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, and you subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. As you know, those numbers are- Truder out. Cookin'. Then the greatest God darn website of all time,

www.patreon.com slash Are You Garbage, baby? Check it out. It's a good time over there. Ooh, love that money. How about a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire. The Magic Man makes us all look good. Works the ones, works the twos.

Crosses the T's and dots the I's. Give it up for D-Bone McScroffins. Toby McMullen, everybody. What's up, dudes? I'm SoFuckin' SoG. Let's go! A good one. Little Royal team they're building here today.

Gang, the long hair ain't lying, because we could not be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly, special guest here with us today for the first time. He is a very funny, very successful comedian, podcaster, producer, writer. He is the co-host of the amazing podcast, T-E-S-D. And of course, he is one of the creators

and stars of the global juggernaut. Sensation. Sensation phenomenon. That is the impractical jokers. Do us a favor, give us a nice big round of applause for Mr. Brian Quinn, simply known as Q. Yes. There he is.

Thank you. Well, what's up, buddy? That's hell of a hype, man. I think you- We really propped you up and knocked you down later. Yeah, I was storing, because halfway through, I started being like, man, I would not have agreed to this intro, but then about halfway through that,

I was like, they're missing credits. I'm like, hey- Everybody gets upset at first and goes, you're not going to mention the Ellen DeGeneres show? I was on 12 Monkeys with the Hells's Bullshit. Good episode of 12 Monkeys, man. That character, Dale. Did you see that episode?

So I played a character named Dale in 12 Monkeys, and my buddy Terry, who ran 12 Monkeys, also ran MacGyver for a season, so he took Dale, and he put Dale in MacGyver. No way. And the story that starts in the one scene I have in 12 Monkeys, where Dale just got divorced, you catch up with him on a date.

A crossover. And I give MacGyver the thing that allows him to get out of the trap, like I give him like Chocobar. And then Chocobar, that's what MacGyver did. Then he show ran Picard. He ran, so now in season two, Picard, Dale. I have the same tie. What are you talking about?

I told you, you guys, you forgot. I'm trying to give you the cool shit. So I had this one tie that I wore on 12 Monkeys that I stole from production. And I wore that tie. Oh yeah, I wore that tie on MacGyver. And then I wore the tie on Picard and the character's name is Dale,

so we're calling it the Daleverse. And if you follow each scene, there is a storyline going on. And so the next show that Terry gets, which I know what it is already, I don't think I'm allowed to say it, he writes a small scene for Dale. So we're calling it the Daleverse.

That's great. That's like the Adam Sandler verse. Yeah, it's going to be this one character over years across all storylines. So you know. Pop it up on General Hospital. I like it. We'll do anything.

Dale's twin brother. Yeah, exactly. Well done on Elevatorship. Oh man, buddy, thank you so much for coming in, man. Oh man, I got to tell you Sal really pumped this up. A lot of fun here. Now the pressure's on us, great. I didn't know anything.

He bit you in the back to us. He said it's better if I don't know if like I go in kind of blind. So I didn't really do any research. I was just told it was like a comedy podcast. So I brought like a slide whistle. There's not much research. He's bald and I'm fat.

That's about all you need to know. I'm not kidding, I'm bald. So I'm ready. I'm ready to go. I didn't know if it was. Comedy's comedy, baby. You can't knock the classics. Any time this may come into play.

Slide whistle out of a drug rug is the first. Well, the drug rug is just my fashion choice, man. I don't know. It's coming from a fish concert, this guy. Bringing it back. You guys are telling me you're not instantly jealous you're not wearing one of these? You fucking know you're jealous.

You know you are. Left the nitrous tank downstairs. Fuck it, I don't care. Everybody watching is like, man, I wish I had the balls to. I do. That's the thing. I do wish I had the balls to rock. I'm just chilled out like that.

I don't care. Just going with the vibe. You think I care? Look what I'm wearing. Fuck you. The beard's immaculately trimmed, though. Well, that is. They dyed my hair.

They dyed my beard red on Impractical Jokers. This whole thing. But part of it was my beard was red. And it's slowly growing back in. It looks good. So it grows out a little bit. I trim it. Yeah, it looks sharp.

Thank you, man. Give us the backstory. Give us the whole deal. Growing up. Where were you born and raised? Well, I was born in Brooklyn in my mom's hospital. Yeah, March 14, 1976. OK, nice.

I have an early memory of my apartment in Brooklyn. And then I moved to Staten Island, or was moved to Staten Island when I was two. And I spent basically the rest of my life on Staten Island. Nice. That's the big thing for a Brooklyn family is to get to Staten Island, right? It used to be.

I don't know if it's like that anymore. But yeah, when they built a horizontal bridge that connected to Brooklyn and Staten Island, they called it the Guinea Gangplank. Sure. Get over there. All the Guineas came over and built the houses and the pizzerias and came over.

And that was the Staten Island I grew up on, very Italian-Irish type of place. What did your mom and dad do? My mother, she ended up eventually doing the most of her career as a manager for Staten Island Savings Bank, which eventually became Santander, which actually crippled me in terms of adult responsibility. Because when your mom's a manager of a bank,

you don't pay attention to checkbooks and stuff. It's just like, mom will take care of it. Yeah, that's true. And then she retired and I had a rude awakening. I had to start handling my own finances. Yeah, that was pretty scary. And then my dad was, he was a motorman for the MTA. He drove subway cars.

Really? Yeah, he did that for about 17 years. Then he became a dispatcher, which is the guy that calls where the trains goes and stuff like that. So yeah, I had a real super blue collar. Damn, that's old school. Yeah, it was fun. I have two brothers.

I have an older brother, Jimmy, younger brother, Danny. OK. Yeah. Damn, great guys. What did we grow up in? Was it an apartment, single family home? What are we looking at? It was a semi-attached.

It was, I think when my parents bought it back in the 70s, it was $30,000. And it's just like a semi-attached home, which I don't know what semi, if people across your audience would know, but it basically means a house that's split in two. It's not connected on this side, but it's attached on this side, so semi-attached. A townhouse-esque, maybe.

Sure, but Staten Island, like when the boom started happening, they just threw up its cookie cutter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I love that house. Love it. They still live there? No, they moved to, they split their time between Poconos, Pennsylvania.

OK, very familiar with the Poconos. Sure, a big bass lake over there. They're in there. And then they're more and more spending more time. They are in Florida in the villages. The villages giant retirement community there. Nice. That's fucking awesome.

That is like the New York story, man. Yeah, oh, it's good. You're a dispatcher for the NTA. Just split your time between the Poconos and a retirement place in Florida. That's it, man. One more than they want. That's all you need in this life, man.

What was the grocery store that your mom went to? Pathmark. Pathmark? Yeah, Pathmark, or it was an Italian place that's closed now called Canjano. It was on Highland Boulevard. That was probably all right. Yeah, Canjano's.

They sold the pizza dough that they made that morning if you wanted to go home. Homemade raviolis, all that stuff. That was like the specialty store. Yeah, that's why the labels were like an Italian, because my mother was born in Italy, so when she came over, her whole family was here. Mom's Italian, dad's Irish.

My dad is half Irish. His mother's mother was born in Italy, so there's a lot of Italian there. Wow, some Brooklyn statin' island kid over here. Oh, yeah. Huh, what was the pizza place that you weren't growing up? It was called Ambrosinos now. It was called, I don't remember, because it's

been Ambrosinos for so long. This is all checkin' out, I like it. Yeah, still in business. Make a great hot cherry pepper pie. Hot cherry pepper pie. They make it the fuckin' best, man. How do you feel about pineapple on pizza? It's pizza, I'll eat anything, I don't care.

Oh my god, I'm the same way. What am I gonna do? I'm gonna be that guy that cares about. That's kid plays ball, I like that. You got a slice, man? Yeah, I'll take it. Okay, what's your favorite slice in the city? Do you have like a Manhattan proper?

Oh, Manhattan, man, that's a great question. Joe and Pat's on the east side, it's pretty good. Thin crust. I've never had that. Yeah, it's pretty good. Oh, I have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know what I've been gettin' into here?

So that, like if I had to go to a pizza place, that'd probably be where I go in Manhattan, but that Detroit pizza, that's been kickin' around. Holy fuck, man. Oh, fuck, man. I'll eat a whole pie. Yeah, it's all right. I was born in Wilkesbury, Pennsylvania,

and they have something kinda similar. They call it sizzle pie. Sizzle pie. It's the same thing. It doesn't really have that cheese around the outside that the Detroit does. That's unbelievable. It's just great.

I fully switched over to Sicilian. That's like my main. Grandma Sicilian or thick Sicilian? Either way, I'm just, I'm goin' square. Yeah, I like Sicilian pie. He's lookin' for volume here. Well, then you, well, New York Sicilian's like the thick one, grandma pies like that.

So I prefer that, but like, I gotta be in the mood for it. Gotcha. Ben's down on McDougals, has a phenomenon. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's a great, great grandma slice. Blow your hair back. Cool. What was the family vacations like growing up?

What'd you guys do? A lot of, a lot of Pennsylvania, like Locust Lake, Big Bass Lake, rentin' a house like a week over there. You know, splattering of Disney here and there, one trip to Italy, but that was like, cause my mom's family owned houses and stuff, so we went there.

It was largely like road trips and stuff like that. Pretty basic, you know, nothing crazy. Were you sure people down the beach or no? No. Every once in a while, my aunt's family would get a shore house and occasionally we would go, but no, cause growing up on Staten Island, I grew up right near the beach.

It's not like the same where we would go down, but it wasn't like going to the beach was only. You guys wouldn't swim in that water, would you? No, not really. I mean, you could occasionally, and we certainly did occasionally, but now we weren't. The currents, right? No, it's more like the filth.

Yeah, the needles. Yeah, it's the needles. The medical waste. Right. Yeah. The park that I grew, I grew up next to right next to Gray Hills Park and like spent a lot of my childhood kind of wild running around there.

It's a giant multi-acre park. And then in high school, after I'd just gotten out of my year, well, maybe a little after high school, they designated the whole park a superfund, because they dropped medical waste and radiation shit there. So the whole park's radioactive and you're not even allowed to go on it anymore. And I spent 18 years playing on it.

So it's like, what the fuck's going to happen to me? Yeah. Yeah. What was the first concert? Your first concert? First concert was Harry Connick Jr. Whoa. Yeah, at PNC.

How old were you? Freshman year of high school? Harry Connick Jr. Yeah. Was that what you were listening to in high school? I was listening to everything, but that was the one that somebody offered me tickets to. So.

Who'd you go? Was it you go with friends? You know, I don't remember who I went with. Holy shit. I think it might have been Murray. I think it might have been James Murray. That's pretty classy to be honest with you, man. Yeah.

That was the first time we had that, I think. Yeah. So Harry Connick and then it was probably the second was, maybe Tom Petty? Okay. All right. Yeah. Eventually, like while Wu Tang on Staten Island,

you end up going on there. Yeah, sure. You gotta do a lot of those. But yeah, Harry Connick's the first one. Wow. All right, not bad. Would you guys do, would your mom make sauce on Sunday and do a big dinner on Sunday and all that stuff?

Better. Every Sunday we would drive to Brooklyn to my grandmother's house. Where the whole family would get together for that. So your extended family was still in Brooklyn. Were you guys the only ones that lived out in Staten Island? Yeah. So my mom's brothers lived,

like they didn't stray far from the, my grandparents own this great, they store it down now, but it was this great two-story building with like three lots because my, I come from like farmers. My grandfather was a farmer until he came to America. So he bought this property to land that like now it would probably be worth.

$70 million. Not 70, but like, yeah, up there, like 10 million. It's like huge. And he just grew, he just grew. So he had like, wow. Yeah, and all the old, and it was like nobody lived in that neighborhood unless they were Italian, like,

and I'm talking off the boat at Italian. So the neighborhood would come together and tend this garden and everybody would grow their own shit in it. And so it was like, and they made their own wine. They had like the whole thing. And so it was like real like. Haste of the old country.

Yeah, it was like an Italian compound. Little village. So I grew up over there. How good was your grandmother's food? So unbelievable. Salivating, thinking about it. Yeah, I'm a little. Fresh out the ground.

She told me how to make sauce. So I make a pretty good sauce. So you do, do you make it a lot? Used to make it a lot. Now I don't make it as much. But when I, but I still got it. Yeah, I still got the touch. I made about a few months ago.

I still got it. If you had to do a jar since we're on the topic, if you had to do a jar sauce, what are you doing? In a pinch. Oof. There's probably, I mean, I probably wouldn't get to, I wouldn't stick my nose up too much. Cause if I'm doing a, if I'm doing jarred sauce,

maybe like whatever, the burrilla high end one. I like pesto. I like store bought pesto. Not bad. Yeah. Let me ask you this. Let's say two and a couple of people and you are making a jarred sauce.

Are you using the whole jar and one box of pasta? Do you ever not use the whole thing? Oh, okay. So I vastly, I understand what your question is. Right. And I think you always just make the whole thing. Because what are you going to do? You're going to eat that the next day.

You're going to probably eat it later that night. Just make the whole thing. You're not going to put that half a jar back in there. Because then when I got to go make more, I'm not going to look at the half jar and be like, well, how long ago did I use that? Is that still fresh? Just fucking use it.

Go out with a bang. Thank you, sir. No problem. I appreciate that. I disagree. You led the witness a little bit with if it's you and a group of people, the original argument was you're making a portion of pasta for yourself.

Right. And it's just you. Okay. Well, pesto sauce. I would do half and half. Pesto, I would do half and half. Okay. Because you could say pesto.

Nobody said penny about pesto. I don't know what this guy talked about. Just let you know. Just let you know. Talk about red sauce here. Just let you know. Pesto, yeah, of course. I don't know.

You don't open that jar of the red sauce and like there's that dried up shit. I'm not saying it's great. I'm not saying it, but it is, you know. But you deserve fresh. Don't you think that about yourself? I probably just throw it out and open up a new one when I go to make the second batch.

It's more of. I told you, you got to believe in yourself a little more. No, it started on him making a whole box of pasta for himself as a survey. Well, that's a pound. Yeah. I'll make a pound of pasta. And eat it all one night.

Over the course of a night. Yeah, I can't say it's not been done. Oh, I got blood on my hands as well. I'm not saying I'm perfect over here. It's not my normal one, but I've done it. Sure. I've eaten whole pizzas by myself. You guys haven't done that.

Ain't nothing better than that, man. You hit a point of pizza where you're like, I can't do anymore. And then you're like, now you get your second gear. And then there was like one slice left and you got that seven slice shame where you're like, can I eat seven slice pizza? And it's like, well, fuck it.

Yeah, I'm already. You can't put the one slice in the box. When you're wet, you're wet, baby. Yeah, exactly, exactly. You drink milk with dinner growing up? No, no. Never even heard of that. Would you ever have milk with pasta or pizza?

It wouldn't occur to me, huh? I'm not saying I wouldn't do it, but it's never occurred to me. What was on the table for dinner during the week? We had crystal water, iced tea. No, it was definitely, my dad loved Pepsi. Okay. Sounds like a good man.

We would drink it all the fucking time. So he would buy us Coke to throw us off the Pepsi. What? Yeah, so there would be like. I respect that. Man, talk about Italian. And he'd be like, I want, all I want when I come home is the Pepsi.

You guys could have the swill of Coca-Cola. Drink the Coke. And so a lot of that. Pepsi family. Ever see a three liter at the house? Please. My dad would crush three liters. Really?

He would do all the ones to it like that, just the ribbon around the house. Yeah. Did the mouth on those things. Yeah. Huge. It's crazy. Try to hold that as a kid.

Oh man. Was the light ever off in the refrigerator growing up? Not that I recall. No. And my brother, my younger brother loved tinkering and stuff. So I bet if the light went out, he would have fixed it before I noticed it.

He would take care of it? Yeah. I'm sorry. Were you allowed to eat in your room as a kid? I don't remember anybody stopping me. Okay. Yeah. Right?

Well, Falsold coming to do our shoes off. You know, there were times where that rule seemed important and then there were times that there wasn't. So I would say no with occasionally yes. But I took care of my shoes when I get in anyway. Yeah. Do you do that now? Yeah.

I'd probably kick them off. Not because of... Just comfort or whatever. Just yeah, I get home. I just want to be comfortable. Any plastic on any furniture growing up. Oh yeah. At your house.

It's probably still there. I fucking regret it actually. I talked to my mom. We had this great orange couch. I mean, orange like fucking like, the orange you want it to be. You know what I mean? Like bright, bro, I'm trying to find something.

Like Pullman, the cool hand loo poser. Okay. Bright orange. Kind of velvety, but texture couch. And my entire life it was covered in plastic. And then when I got to high school, I was like, Mom, what the fuck? Like how, you've had this couch 20 years.

Like how long are you gonna save it for? And so she, I guilted her into taking the plastic off and then the couch only lasted a few more years. And now I'm like, man, why did I ever fuck with it? It would have been great. Oh, I would, I'd be sitting on that couch today. If I could. Yeah.

I so regret that. Like, why did she listen to me? Was there one living room or was there a sitting room and a living room? Where was the TV in the house? No, no, no. There was like, when you walk in the front door, it's almost like a railroad flat.

It's like, there's the living room, just like 13 feet wide. And then the dining room right next to it. But it really, that's only like five feet off the, and then that goes into the kitchen. Kitchen, yeah. So that was really, everybody just hung out on that floor.

There was a basement that we would eventually get into, like when we were older and stuff like that. Gotcha. Yeah. Okay, did you share a room with your brothers or you guys have your own room? No, shared rooms until my older brother joined the Navy and then me and my younger brother

were able to get our own room. Did anybody ever live in the basement? I lived in the basement. You did. Yeah, after a while I moved in the basement. At what age is that? Probably around high school, probably when I hit high school.

Cause that's a step of like, I'm out on my own down here. Yeah, a little bit. And I could sneak in and out the window. That was always a thing. That's big. Cause it was ground floor, obviously. So I was able to sneak out the window.

Play your Harry County Junior Rack. That's right. Who baby sat you as a kid? Kim was like a second cousin that I had an enormous crush on. Oh, that's always the first love. Yeah, Kim. He also said second cousin, by the way.

Yeah, second. Yeah. So it was okay. Not illegal, but frowned upon. I'm not worried about what people are frowned on. These Italians keep it close, huh? Yeah. Give it a family.

So Kim, yeah, she was my babysitter. Really? All right. That's all right. Injuries as a kid. Defined kid. What age are we talking? Shop to high school.

Yeah. I broke collarbone skiing. I broke... Skied. Poconos. No, I skied once in my life. Okay. And broke your collarbone.

Oh my God. I got on, it was like, I went up. We got, you know, I checked out, got my skis. Got on the thing, went up the hill. Got on the slope. Got about 50 feet. And this like five year old kid, like who just knows how to ski,

just cut me off. And I rammed right into a tree and broke my collar. And it was like within 20 minutes, the trip was over. And that was that. You're on a trip with the Boy Scouts. Boy Scouts, yeah. Yeah. And so then they had to get me home.

And then, yeah, my brother put me in the hospital a couple of times. He hit me with a shovel. I needed some. Two stepbrothers? Yeah. How much did you owe him? Jesus Christ.

No. We were playing in my grandfather's farm. And he was above me. And he had like a gardening spade. And I was underneath it. And he goes, like, I'm going to drop this. And I go, no. And he goes, move.

I'm going to drop it. And I was like, I'm not moving. And then he just dropped it. And it like cleaved my skin down. Like it's flopped over. And yeah. So I, you know, a couple of bangs here and there. Yes.

A couple. A couple of bangs. That's the salt. Yeah. Okay. Let's talk about ladder, baby. Ooh, let's talk about ladder. Let's talk about taking care of the ones that take care of you.

Uh-huh. Do yourself a favorite gang. You don't want to put this off. Don't want to leave the family holding the bag when you croak, which is probably what I'm going to do. Yeah. Do yourself a favorite. Get over to ladder.

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I was like, not great. I did, I think the English side of it, I got almost perfect. Whoa. The math. I like, I shit the back. Back to the checkbook. Oh yeah. It was like-

You remember a score? It would have been out of 1,600. I don't. I don't. I remember being people being very impressed with the English and very disappointed in me. Meaty part of the curve. I like it. Sports.

I played soccer as a, as I think most people do when they're kids, maybe I played that for many, many years. And then when I got to high school, I was just like, I don't want to, I don't want to. No sports in high school. No. I did like the plays and stuff like that because that was the only way you could meet girls. Because we were in all boys Catholic high school.

Guys are closer. But when you did, when you did plays with the other, the sister schools would come and that's how you would, like that's the only way you could hang out with girls. There you go. Did you go to prom? I did go to prom. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So you were dating somebody? Uh, I was. Bar your parents. Oh, no. What was the sitch? No, we got a limo. It was me, Marie, who's on the show with was in the limo and a girl that I had been dating

for about a year at that point. And we got a limo and everything and went like eight people in the limo with their dates. Yeah. That's the way to do it. The only thing limos are good for is proms. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But it was good. No other practical use. It was fun. Hmm. How about the pet situation growing up? I had rabbits. I had a nine X and Napoleon, uh, nine X, nine X, like the old, uh, phone company. They used to have that because my dad, so nine X used to be, uh, a New York phone company.

So you're so new, you're well, there's a reason for Atlantic and it's his file. It's about to get more New York feel. So the reason that he was named nine X is because when I would go to work with my dad for the subway, they had these, um, they had these, uh, uh, ads for nine X and for some reason, their logo was a rabbit, but like a real rabbit, just a photo of a rabbit. Gotcha. And so I stole it off the train when I was a kid. Well, stole my dad.

It was a strange. So I was, I'll take it. Um, and, uh, and I had that on my wall for years. So when I got a rabbit, his name was nine X and then I was leaving this chemical compound. Yeah. This is P 90 X. It's my cat, Mayor Denkins. And then I had Napoleon who was, uh, he was, I was, so I went to the pet store in New

Dorp Lane and I got nine X uses brown rabbit and we're going to leave. And there was another rabbit in the corner, this little tiny white one that run to the litter. And when I looked at him, he had a deformed paw, like his paw was all jacked up, jacked up and he's birth defect. And I was like, well, what's going to happen to that one? And they were like, Oh, well, you know, nobody's adopting them. So I was like, well, fuck now I have two rabbits.

So I named him Napoleon for Napoleon because I always had it because he came in like that. And Napoleon was such a sweet rabbit that we were able to house train him. So like he was able to like live in the house for not overnight. Like I would get him in the morning and I'd put him down. Yeah. Then he would walk around like a dog. He would just hang around with us. He never chewed on wires or anything like that.

And, uh, and he would poop in a cat litter. And then at night we put him back out in the house. This might have been a cat. No, this was a cat or a neighborhood. Yeah. Uh, yeah. So the nine next to Napoleon had another cat, a rabbit named Rusty, uh, but growing up that was it.

No, no cats or dogs. No dogs. I had snakes, some lizards, but nothing that like my mother. Snakes on lizards. Hold on a second. When did you have snakes and lizards? Well, it's only if I caught them. Like I didn't go to the store.

Like I lived next to a lot and they would have these garden snakes in there. So like I had a fish tank. So we would catch the garden snakes and put them in the tank for like a day, release them the next day. Yikes. Yeah. Catching snakes. Catching your own reptiles.

Yeah. Staten Island radioactive snakes. Yeah. Like the Ninja Turtles. They're out there fighting crime. These guys. You know what I'm saying? You're their splinter.

There you go. Who was the dentist growing up? Uh, Raymond Flajiello, Dr. Raymond Flajiello. Still in business. Loan money on the side. Yeah. Uh, was his office in a, in a house or was it in like a professional center, like a building?

Strip mall. It wasn't a, it wasn't in a strip mall. It was in like a standalone doctor's office. Okay. That's pretty good. Yeah. Like he did fillings and bullet wounds. Yeah.

Yeah. Some like that. He's still in business. No. Never had a business. Never had braces. No. Teeth are good.

Teeth are okay. They break, they break a lot. What do you, how are they now? Do you, do you stay on top of it a lot? Are you going? No. Yeah. Now I do certainly.

Uh, yeah, I got, I go in, but I got like a couple of fake ones here and there. But for the most part, like they're just broken kind of yellowish teeth that I've never really gotten fixed. Okay. Okay. Magazines in the bathroom as a kid? No. No magazines.

No. I was a reader. So there was always a book with me, but no, no, we didn't have like a magazine rack or anything like that. You're a reader. You're reading something now? Yeah. What is it?

I made a couple of things now. A couple of things. That's always the smart guy answer. Yeah. No, it's all right. So, uh, you guys know who Rick Rubin is? Sure. Of course.

He just put out a book on creativity and I'm, I'm reading that and I'm reading a, um, book, uh, you guys grateful dead fans at all. So big Steve is like one of their, uh, he was like their roadie for 50 years. And, uh, he wrote a book. So I'm reading his book now. Yeah. Pretty good. A couple of non-fictions.

Not bad. But I read a lot of fiction too. I don't want to make it sound like I'm just. Yeah. Harry Potter guy. I read the books. Yeah. Yeah.

Did you enjoy them? They were good. Yeah. I mean, I was a little old for it. So I wasn't like, this is changing my world. But I was like, yeah. But I got it. You know, I got why people liked it.

Okay. Do you brush your teeth in the shower? No. Pea in the shower. For sure. Okay. So if it's up to me, we're talking an Irish spring. I know.

Yeah. Good Irish spring. Yeah. Old school. Yeah. Right. I still use bar soap too. Yeah, me too.

Do you use a luffa or anything like that? Just bar on skin. Bar on skin. That's it. That's it. Yeah. Wow. That was a fire fire.

You got time for luffas? Yeah. He's fucking masculine. Any magicians in the family? I wish. No. No. Not a single magician in the family.

Can you ride a 10 speed while holding a fountain drink? Yeah. Can you do that? I can do that. Can you ride a 10 speed with no hands at all? For distances. For distances. Really?

Yeah. Sure. The old lean back. Yeah. She's got to get some good momentum going. Yeah, that's all right. Keep that center of gravity cooking. Yeah.

I like it. Can you name any of the boats from the deadliest catch? No, but I assume that one of them is called the red crab. Or the lusty crab or something like that. It's not a porn. Yeah. It should be. The naughty lobster?

Then I'd watch it. The sexy seal? Yeah. Something like that. Okay. You play chess? I have played chess, but I always play just enough to learn it. And then I forget.

Okay. You ever wish. No. Anyone in your family pronounce it refrigerator? No. Who would do that? Frigerator. Most of my family.

Frigerator? Frigerator. Fridge. Fridge. Yeah. Frigerator. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Instead of saying thank you, do you ever say cheers or call anybody mate? No. I might have done it ironically here in there. I like it. Will you do it if you're in the UK? Or will you just still say thanks buddy? Or cheers mate?

If I'm in the UK, I want to represent the United States. I don't want to go over there and start saying their shit. USA. Yeah. Start slapping people around. If I have to. Set some trade embargoes. I don't want to.

If I have to. If I got a flex on these red coats. Yeah. Start throwing tea. Got to remind them how it went. Sure. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Sure. You do. Yeah. Excellent. What's your fave? That's a great question. If I'm kicking around Stan Island and I got to pick some on the way.

Look, there's different situations, right? Sure. Lay it out. The go to one is going to be Wendy's generally for me. But if I want that fast food, fast food, I'm going to do McDonald's. Okay. What's the difference in your head? Wendy's I could eat it and like fool myself that I'm not eating like a raccoon or something

like that. Sure. Well, I'll say you delineated because there's fast food and then fast food, fast food. Yeah. It's all the same. I know that. I'm not trying. But then the late night one, the guilty one is White Castle.

That's where I'm like, I will eat White Castle. And you're still, you're still banging. You still operate like this. Do we still have sex? No. Do you want it? Is that an offer? No, you're still eating fast food.

I like the beard. Yeah. It's got a little less as I get older and stuff like that. But I won't turn my nose up on a road trip calls from McNuggets. You got it. All right. I understand the, I understand the difference between the fast foods in your head because to me, Chick-fil-A is a diet fast food.

I feel like I'm eating at a restaurant when I get Chick-fil-A. Yeah. The problem with Chick-fil-A is like every time I've been near it, there's a line and I'm just like, fuck you. I know it's crazy. I'm not doing it. Hire more people. Get more registers.

If you're doing a white, have you ever split a White Castle crave case between you and one other person? Oh God. Yeah. When I was younger for sure. Yeah. All right. That's 30, I think.

30. 30. I mean, if you told me, if you, if the question was, have I ever eaten 15 White Castles over the course of one night? The answer's yes. Yeah. For sure. This guy's putting up pro numbers over here.

Yeah. He ain't no fucking bubblegummer. No. Huh. Ever been bitten by a dog? Yes, but not, not mauled. Not mauled. Not mauled.

Jesus Christ. This guy goes fucking full bore. Yeah. Do you sneak snacks into a movie theater? Oh God. Snacks, sandwiches. Really? Bottles of wine.

Yeah. Bottles of wine. Yeah, man. Crave case. Yeah. You'll do a bottle of wine? A little Ant-Man and a Chianti. Yeah.

I'll do a... Will you open it in there? Like with a... Oh, I have zero shame. Zero shame. Wine is a screw off. This guy's bonkers. Like Jameson, I'll bring in...

That's just a good old fashioned gentleman right now. I once took the, like there was a true TV executives back when they had executives and we went to go see the new Star Wars movie and I bought a bottle of Jameson and I got them all hammered. It was like the fucking best. Yeah. Sign right here, guys. Yeah. It was cool.

They were good people. But yeah, like when I was younger... I suddenly got the cruise, baby. Yeah. That's it. Yeah, I think it's my right to bring like a sandwich into a... A sandwich. What kind of sandwich we taught?

Like something smell like or like... No, you don't want to do like a tuna fish or anything like that. Like to me, it's just going to roast beef, some lettuce, some cheese. Okay. I don't know what animal about it. Sure. Yeah. Huh.

Where are you shopping now? And are you doing the grocery shopping? No, it's really the pandemic. Completely put that over. It's like... The delivery. It gets delivered. It's fucking what a five hour delivery fee.

It's like it's... Five hours. I respect it. All right. Doing well. I agree. Why don't you start doing that? You go, why would I shop any other way?

Yeah. It's crazy. And my friend had a good theory. He was saying like, yeah, but like the money that you're spending on the delivery fee, which again, he's like, you would impulse buy that if you went to the supermarket. You'd be like, oh, I could have some biscotti. That's also true. Like I'll need this.

Couple of Snickers. Right. Whereas when you just order, you're just very... Yeah. You're leaning mean, baby. Yeah. How do you feel about the Funyon? I don't hold anything against the Funyon.

Yeah. It's not something I reach for. Political answer. Yeah. But I'm not going to... I wouldn't look at somebody eating a Funyon and be like, you know, what's wrong with you? Do you know anybody named Richie? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Do you have any answer uncles that you don't call by their first name? For example, like Aunt Tootie or Uncle... No, it's always Uncle Sal, Uncle Mike. Okay. Uncle, you got an Uncle Mike? Uncle Mike, Uncle Sal, yeah.

Shout out. Uncle Mike's are big. Shout out to Uncle Mike. Everybody's got one for some reason. I think he's pretty clean. Did your... Did you or your parents ever buy products off TV? Shamwell, Slap Chop, Thigh Master?

No. No. Again, there might have been an ironic purchase at some point, but no. Nothing. As a rule, no. You have a pizza cutter in the house growing up? Yeah. For sure.

You got one now? Yeah. I have one now. It's shaped like the USS Enterprise and the saucer, the ship, the Enterprise. Uh-huh. The saucer is a pizza cutter. I spoke too soon. Yeah.

All right. Yeah. I'm talking about... Hmm. Ever owned any inflatable furniture? A couch? No. A mattress?

I mean, oh, like guests are coming over and let me throw down the air mattress. Anything or even an air mattress or even like a chair. They were big back in the day. Not a chair. I had an air mattress that I got some use out of recently, but yeah. It's not too shabby. Ever worked colored contacts? For work?

Sure. Not at all. No. I part time as a cat. Yeah. Anybody in the family ever claimed to see UFO? No. Hmm.

Anyone in your family still have an AOL email address? Yes. Ooh. Yes? No. Okay. How do you feel about frozen pizza? Great.

What do you want? You got some on you? Give me a tombstone. I'll take it. Ooh. Shout out to a tombstone. It's all right. All right.

Is that your go-to if you're going to buy one for you? Well, I know DeGiorno's is another good one, but if it's... You got the self-risk frost. Yeah. So it's one of those two. Okay. I feel like you don't see tombstone that much. You don't, which is why when I see it, I grab it.

Yeah. Smart man. I like you. A little bit about the house now. Yeah. In the kitchen. Yeah. What's the refrigerator?

Talking Sub-Z, Viking. What are we looking at? No, Samsung. Samsung. Yeah, Samsung. Stainless steel? Stainless steel. It's got the screen in it that plays Spotify and stuff like that.

Nice. And you hit a button and you can see the inside of your fridge, but for the most part... Do you use that? Is that practical? It is. I use that thing. I mean, it was... I mean, the music I get or whatever.

Like the see-through aspect. You never use it. Never use it. Yeah. What I do is I... Could you put wallpaper on it? I'll just put pictures of my cats and stuff like that. There you go.

How many cats? I have two cats. I had three. One recently passed away. Wow. I'm sorry. He's already here. Yeah.

Thank you. He's a great cat. Just cats and any dogs? No. I would... I love dogs, but just because we travel so much, I can't really... Gotcha. What are your cat's names?

Chessie and Brooklyn are them now and Benjamin is the one that recently passed away. It's all very classic. Yeah. That's too bad. That ain't bad. Yeah. You keep the butter in the fridge. You keep it on the counter.

In the fridge? Yeah. I mean, the cats would probably lick it if I left it on the counter. You know. Get out of there. I implied there would be a dish there. Yeah. You never know.

If you're buying... If you're buying a six pack for the house. Yeah. And you put it in the fridge. Do you take it at... Like say you buy bottles. Will you take it out of the cardboard or just put the cardboard right in? I'll take it out of the cardboard, I think.

Damn. I believe I do that, yeah. I mean, I was really thrown by that sweatshirt, too. I thought you were going to be dead to right trash, but it's not too bad. Can you whistle with your fingers? No. That's why you got the slide whistle. Yeah.

True. Well, you wear sneakers out of the store. I mean, what happened to my shoes? Throw them out. Like you were in such a bad point where you're like, buddy, you got to throw these out. I'm wearing these out. No. Or wear the new ones out and put the old ones in the box.

No. I haven't done that. I wouldn't not do it, but I haven't. Okay. Goddamn gentleman. Ever get a haircut on vacation? Maybe on a cruise ship? Okay.

For work? Or you were there on vacation? I was there for work. Okay. We had a cruise. Yeah. I got a touch up on the cruise. I'll give you that.

You're working on it. But is that from the hairstylist or is that they have a barbershop on the? Yeah, they have a barbershop. I just go down. Really? Yeah. And if I've never even thought about that. Yeah.

It's like I just needed a touch up. Or if I've been in Vegas or something like that, like I might have been like. Sure. Trim me up. Okay. Like a karaoke song. No. But if I did, it would probably be islands in the stream.

Or if I was singing with someone. I was doing a duo. Maybe free falling if it's just me. All right. Yeah. Pretty good. Do you ever have a manicure or a pedicure? Never one that I paid for.

Like sometimes you get like these free, like when you, when you go do events, they're like, and downstairs we have like a lounge where you can get it. So then I might do it, but I never paid for it. What kind of event is that? That is. Well, they'll have like just meaning you're doing way cooler shit than I am. Yeah. Like cause what they'll be like is like, Hey, we're doing a press thing.

And like, so they fly you out to the middle of nowhere for a few days. Gotcha. And now you do, just do these interviews all day. Or me to add, add execs to like sell ads for your show or whatever. And they'll pamper you a little bit and they'll be like, they'll give you like, here's $300 and credit for the thing. And if you don't use it, you'll lose it. So, you know, that's a trashy phrase, but I respect it.

Use it. You lose it, baby. When was your last massage? You get massages. Massage guy, they very rarely do anything for me. I have done them on a vacation every once in a while, but that's usually if the person I'm with would want one and then like a couples thing, but I would never go get one on my own.

What was the last vacation? Oh fuck. Uh, last year I went to Key West with a couple of, uh, with, uh, oh, my buddy Jiggies bachelor party. I went to Key West. I know, I know. Yeah. This is saving you money.

Oh yeah. Rocket money is shooting to the moon to save you money. Uh huh. Everybody's got a bunch of subscriptions. I just got banged out with an MLB package. Some you don't even know about. And I didn't even know I had 150 bucks they want for this season. Harper's not even playing until the all-star game.

Give me a break. Gang, do yourself a favor. They know what subscriptions you have. You can cancel them at any time. They're absolutely fantastic. They're trying to save you a little bit of cash. Yeah. Uh, and you can even find out you might be getting double charged with sometimes.

Sons of bitches. They got your back. That's what Rocket Money does. To cancel a subscription, you just press cancel. Rocket Money takes care of the rest. It's easy peasy, lemon, squeezy. Get rid of unuseful, uh, subscriptions with Rocket Money now. Go to rocketmoney.com slash garbage.

Seriously, it could save you hundreds of dollars per year and who don't need a couple of hundo in the old pocket. That's rocketmoney.com slash garbage. Cancel your unnecessary subscriptions right now at rocketmoney.com slash garbage. Do it. Now back to the show. Back to the show. Kids bulletproof.

Pretty it. Have you ever- How about breakfast in bed? Well, I wouldn't get out of bed, go get breakfast and bring it back to bed. That seems weird. Like once I'm out, I'm out. Okay. But breakfast in front of a TV immediately after getting out of bed.

Sure. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I'll go sign that. When you're at the house, will you eat your meals at the kitchen table or will you sit down at the couch and watch TV? Both.

I will probably, probably sit a lot on the couch. A lot happens on the couch, but there's no kitchen table in the kitchen. There's like a kitchen dining room thing where I live now, but we will just for some reason just stand around the house eating. All right. Just eat in the kitchen. Okay. Standing and eating.

I don't know why, but we do it. Hmm. You'd rather quail egg. Maybe an England once, but no, I don't think so. Maybe an England once. Man. If you are watching TV and eating, do you have like a go to eating show? Like I always watch The Simpsons when I eat.

No, I, it's always just backlog stuff. You know what I mean? Like what do I got to watch? What do I got to see? There's no, I watch a lot of them. You watch toast to London. You ever hear of this show? Oh, fuck.

I'm about to open your world, man. Really? It is one of my favorite shows. Lay it on me. So you know who Matt Berry is, right? He's on what we do in the shadows. He plays Laszlo. Sure.

You know, he'd made this show in the UK called toast to London, which is about this washed up British actor and his adventures in the theater. And it's like his name's Steven toast and it's so fucking funny. Like it's totally surreal, like kind of a mean sense of humor, like British shit. It's on Brit box right now. You know, I'm not here to do an advertising for Brit box, but it was on Netflix and I watched the fuck out of a Netflix and Netflix pulled it. I bought the DVDs from the UK and then made my Xbox like the zone to, you know, and I

was watching on that, but Brit box just launched it and it's so fucking, it's all watched a lot of toast to London while I'm eating. I had wrestling. Hey, you want to see garbage? I watch a lot of pro wrestling. Really? There you go. Still.

Oh, still. Yeah. Really? Who's your favorite wrestler now? Oh, that's so rough. I mean, Chris Jericho is always for me, like just some of the best of the best. I mean, there's so much talent out there now. Who was your favorite of all time?

Roddy Roddy Piper. Shout out to the Piper. Yeah, of course. Piper was the guy. You got to do dabbled in comedy later in the... Yeah. Did some Always Sunny. It was really funny.

Yeah. It was always hanging out at the comedy store out in LA. But they live. I mean, you guys saw they live, of course, right? You never saw they live? Yeah. You saw... Oh, have you heard of they live?

Yeah. Yeah. It's the Alien movie. The Alien movie. Yeah. Yeah, they live. Yeah. So it's about Roddy Piper plays like a transient whatever.

Oh, so he's running around with the shotgun. Yeah. And he's got the sunglasses that lets him see the aliens. And I rewatched it recently and I was like, fuck, it holds up, man. It's so good. Yeah. I've never been to a live WWE event where you made your own sign. Not where I've made my own sign, but I've been to many live events.

Yeah. I feel like that's the demarcation zone. If you're the sign guy at the W, you're like... I don't know. I don't want to look down on those sign guys, man. They're so much fun, man. They come up with some good shit. I took a sign to WCW back in, like, you know, I was...

It's probably 97 or something. About on Long Island, they used to go... They used to do the Long Island... What do they call it? What do they island display? Oh, I don't know. They just tore it down. Yeah.

But I saw it with WCW. The place you were just at for the... No, I was at the new one. No, the new USB. The UBS. UBS. That's a nice... That's a nice piece of property.

That's a nice piece of property. Yeah, I haven't been there yet. We're going out there. We're playing there soon. That's crazy. I went for the UFC and you're playing there. That's sick. Yeah.

Huh. Will you take your shoes off on a plane? If... Yeah, I'll do that. Not all the time. Normally, I'll keep them on, but I can't pretend that I've never taken my shoes off on a plane. Sure. If it's a long flight, if we're going to LA and, like, there's one of those bed ones that

fold out and stuff like that. The beds. Come on. Yeah, you got to. I'll do them. You're up front. You're flying first class, right? I got to go up front.

You're up front. I usually go up front. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's just easier getting on and off the plane. Sure. Of course. I'm a big up front guy myself. Will you bring food on a plane?

If I buy it in the airport and I'm not finished, yeah, but I like to finish where I get on the plane. Okay. I'm just people that, like, are eating, like, a baked potato on the plane. You're like, what are you guys doing? You got any shower cream up there? Yeah. Will you get cash back when you're making a purchase at, like, CVS or so, or Dwayne

Reed? No. I can't say I've never done it, but I think generally speaking, yeah. It's not a practice habit. Okay. Yeah. When you were flying and you were in the back of the plane. Yeah.

Like, a couple of years ago, would you recline the seat? There's a price where you're like, I'm not doing it. Like, you know what I mean? Sure. Where you're like, I'm sorry. Like, it's just crazy. Yeah, yeah. Would I recline the seat?

I mean, doesn't matter. Then that seat go like. The seat doesn't go back a whole bunch. Yeah. Do you do it? Do you do it now? If it's not a lay down? You know, I probably tend not to, but not to be considered.

It's normally just because I'm comfortable. You're already comfortable. Yeah. Gotcha. You open your eyes underwater in the pool. Saltwater pool. Yes. Ah, chlorine.

No. Real. I figured that'd be the other way around, but I guess the chemicals are bad for you. Yeah. It's the chemicals that give you the red eye and stuff like that. Do you have a pool? I do. Saltwater?

Yeah. Gentlemen. Yeah. Jacuzzi? No. Although this might put me on the bad side of the list. We had a party, a barbecue last summer and I went on Amazon and I got an inflatable hot tub.

And I said, but, and I fucking did it to be funny, but everybody fucking loved it. Yeah, man. That's a good time. It was so big. Yeah. It was like, people were just in it. It's like an above ground pool. And I took the pool, the, you know, like when the pool covers got to have a pump to pump

the water out when it rains. I took that pump and I put it in the pool and I filled the hot tub with the warm. Already warm salt water. Already warm salt water. So it was like fucking, everybody loved it, man. That's great. And then I returned it when I was done. This guy's trash.

Fuck. This guy is trash. When you were killing it. What are you talking about? That's right. I know. I didn't come here claiming not to be trash. Dude, talk about acing the fucking, the English portion and then dumping it on the, yeah.

Yeah. Now we're in the math section of the book. There you go. This guy's about to get a two. Toast to London. Yeah. Trust me. You and your hoity-toity shows ain't saving you.

Shake it down one more. Oh, you watch Toast. It's not hoity-toity, man. You guys are going to fucking love it. I like it. Hmm. Anyone in your family get married at the courthouse? No.

Okay. Hmm. Have you ever had a hot dog and a hamburger roll? No. Never. No. I've had them maybe in like white bread, like folded over, but not a hamburger roll. Have you ever saved a crown royal bag?

No. No. Although I could see why people would. Yeah. Do you keep the boxes of things? Like do you still have your Xbox box or your PlayStation box? Box for a TV. You get an appliance.

Do you keep the box? Yeah. An appliance will go away. Just keeping Apple products. Yeah. And then I was like, why am I doing this? Because those boxes feel fancy. Yeah.

They don't feel like you can throw them away right away. Yeah. But for the most part, I think that I will. I don't know. I mean, like I buy figurines, like not quite that, but like. Sure. So I'll put. Like that.

Yeah. Like that Boba Fett came in a box. I would probably put that box up in the attic. Because I don't. Sure. Yeah. Just in case. It's a collectible.

It's a little different. In case you need to return it later. What's going on with the figurines? What are we talking about here? Do you have a collection? A huge combo guy. Okay. So when I was a kid, I was buying like the figures and stuff like that.

The statues, not so much action figures. Not the mesco. Not. Not the bigger ones. You mean? Yeah. Those are sweet. Yeah.

I got a couple of those. Because then people give him to his gifts and stuff like that. I have a super. I have a Chris Varese Superman one and it looks exactly like. Oh yeah. Would you guys like sideshow collectibles or something? No. My buddy Greg, comedian Greg Stone is a big collector and he gave me that one.

Yeah. It's wild. I have a ton of suit bands. My favorites. I have a ton of suit man stuff in the house and stuff like that. Okay. What's the comic book collection like? Well, it's pretty big, but a few years ago I switched to digital because I was, I just

the box. I mean, I have so many of those long boxes and I started collecting in the 90s. So it's worth absolutely nothing. You know, it's all like the worst comics, but you got spawn three. Yeah. Exactly. I'm like, all right. I guess.

But so I still have in the attic in my attic, but I read digital now. It's just a lot easier. Do you have anything that, that is of super value? You got anything real old school? I do have a couple of things I have a, cause I was going to San Diego comic con in the 90s before it was like, it was like, and I used to be able to buy animation cells from Batman the anime series for like 10 bucks. And I bought, there was a Superman comic called Superman for all seasons and it's gorgeous.

It's watercolor. Every page is a watercolor painting and I, there's this two page spread. The first time you see Superman flying down with Lois and Lex Luthor standing down, they're looking at them all fucking pissed. And I bought those, both those pages and it's like, it's a watercolor background and then like a clear thing with the line work on it. So it's like the line work goes over. It's gorgeous.

And I bought them both for 50 bucks for both of them and they're probably worth like 20 grand now. Holy shit. It fucking. He's got 20 grand fucking, but I, you know, I'm not going to, what am I, you know, I have that. I have a pre, you know, preacher, the comic preacher. Sure.

Okay. So my buddy Scott Moser bought me, uh, I don't know how well, you know, the comic, but when he finds out Cassidy's a vampire, he gets stabbed in the eye in a, in a fight in the parking lot. I have the page, the, the artwork or the original page with the knife in his eye and Custer going like, like going, well, holy shit, are you all right? I have that. And Moser gave that to me.

I don't even know what that's worth. I have to be their nerd translator sometime. That's sick that he has that. Yeah. That's like, that's like a big one. Yeah. It's like the original artwork that Steve Dillon did. I have a bunch of that, uh, like artwork and stuff like that.

Pretty sweet. Yeah. Pretty good, man. Pretty good. Hmm. That's not even trashy. That's clay. That's clay.

I mean, you have a room where you have all this stuff showcased and stuff. Uh, not, it's more like dispersed about the house, but, but I have a basement that I have some pinball machines and I, and I keep a lot of like a DeLorean, uh, like one six back to the future DeLorean. I have stuff down there that's a little bit, you know, display. Yeah. Yeah. What are you whipping around in?

What's, what's, what's the car? Uh, 2018 Jeep Wrangler. Yeah. Okay. Jeep thing. Yeah. I had a Wrangler before that. I had a 2014, but the guys blew it up on the TV show.

So I had to get a new one. Yeah. And that's the only car? That's the only car. Really? Yeah. Well, no, that's not true. We drove in the Impractical Jokers movie in 1989, Crown Vic that we drove in the movie

when the movie ended. I bought the car. So I have that in storage. I pull that out. Damn. You got it. You still own a Crown Vic. Oh, dude, let me tell you, I drive that around Manhattan.

It is the fucking pest. It's a boat. Guys over 40 are, it's like I'm driving a Maserati. They can't, they can't like homeless people will come up and be like, I worked on this shit back in the eighties. Like, and it's like, it's fucking awesome. Women don't even see the car. No, no.

Women are like, I'm like, I'm just driving. There's Superman logo on the side. Get out of the way. Pop, pop. Yeah. They're like, get this shit. But men like love the fucking car. And like when I go parking in like garage because you go, you'll go to like a parking

garage in New York City and it's like always like the guy at the front will park a Porsche or Rolls Royce. Those guys give the 20 right to like park up there. So whenever I drive the Crown Vic in the city, I give the guy a 20 and I'm like, I want you to let him see it. Right next to that fucking Rolls Royce. So I have a little bit of eye candy. I have these pictures of the Crown Vic next to all these expensive cars because I'm like,

fuck these guys. Yeah. I respect this guy. Yeah. As a gentleman. Yeah. That's all right. I'm pretty good.

I mean, you know, he's walks in both worlds. A little bit. Like the day walker. You are. You are. Pretty classy gentleman. I would say it's right down the middle. I mean, he did return up a inflatable hot tub after he used it.

But that was for a joke. I only bought it for a joke. The return. It was serious. Oh, what am I going to spend 600 bucks on a joke? Yeah, you're an impractical joke. No. Yeah, but they're Amazon.

They got billions. They get fucking repurposed that it works really well, but I hear they're great. Are you an orange juice guy? I don't go for it, but I will have it. You like pulp? I love pulp. Yeah. Have you ever had a voicemail where you're like a fake one where you're like, hello, hello,

hello. I'm not here. I hate that. Okay. Yeah. You ever sing into the answering machine? No, no. We didn't have an answer.

Ever named the pets in a voicemail? Like you've reached Brian and I would, though. I probably would. And Verizon. I can't say I wouldn't do that, but I have. Have you ever gotten an autograph from someone? Oh, God. Yeah.

Jeez. Who do I have? Well, yeah, maybe when I was younger, wrestlers and stuff like that, it's like, that's good. That's okay. Like, like I never really got, oh, uh, yes, I actually bought it, uh, online. You know, Chuck Barris is. So you, you know, uh, confetti, the gong show, of course, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. So his book is one of my favorite books.

CIA contract killer. Do you ever hear of this story? Okay. So Chuck Barris created the gong show and he was a host of the gong show and he was, he created the dating game. He's a mad man. Right. And he wrote a book called Confessions of the Dangerous Mind, which was an autobiography

in which he claimed that the entire time he was making TV shows, he was really a hit man for the CIA and all the places that he went to shoot his TV show were hits that he had to do. And the book is, it's magnificent. He never breaks. He's always, he says it and he went to his grave claiming that it was all true. So I bought, uh, I bought, uh, some signed stuff from him. The movie's great too.

Clearly directed it. The movie's great. It's phenomenal. Yeah. Sam Rockwell. Everybody's good. I got one. How many suits do you own?

Ooh. Mmm. Probably three. Okay. Just collected over the years, but I mean, none of them are newer than 10 years old. What are we talking about? Anything, Armani? Anything like that?

No, Macy's, whatever. You go to Macy's. Yeah. You want a tuxedo? No. You know how to tie a tie. I know how to do. Uh, well, I went to a Catholic boys high school.

So yeah. Gotcha. Okay. Who's cutting the hair now? There's a guy named Max that works in Brooklyn at men's best haircut, but I've kind of stopped getting haircuts for a while. I had my hair really short for you, almost like you for the past five years. And uh, I'm just like, maybe I'll grow it out a little bit.

I mean, somebody who's trimming it up. That's clean. No, that's just. No, no, that's just a, that's no haircut for four or five months. What? Yeah. Damn. That's pretty good.

Thank you. This guy is class. All right. Thank you. All right. Last question. Oh, here we go. Miracle whip or Helmins mayonnaise and are you a mayonnaise guy?

I'm not a mayonnaise guy. I will not. I will have a sneer of it on a sandwich, but I'm not a male guy. And what would the sandwich be if you're making a sandwich at the house? What would it be? I wish it wasn't, but it'd probably be roast beef. Yeah. It's not bad.

He likes his RB. You do. Yeah. I try and eat less and less because I always, I can never eat it without thinking about the poor animal. So I'm trying to like get out of it. Are you trying to stay, you're trying to stay away from me a little bit? I am.

I'm trying to be easy on myself and just reduce it rather than being like, I'm never eating me. Yeah. So I'm trying to reduce it. I watched this video of this guy goes and there's tons of videos out there like this. This guy goes to a field and he puts down a chair, just a field and he starts playing a violin. Yeah.

And one by one, these fucking cows come from nowhere. And by the end of it, there's 20 cows around them just listening to the music and they, you see it. They, they, they see it and they just come and listen to this guy play violin and I'm like, I can't fucking eat these things anymore. These guys are showing up at concerts, man. Like they love the music. So, you know, I'm trying to sell them balloons too.

Yeah. Until that grave case comes calling. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I don't know. So I'm trying to cut back, but I'm also trying to be realistic about it. Well, that's it for me.

Mr. Quinn. God damn gentlemen. Yeah. I respect it, man. Thank you so much for coming. What? That's the show? That's it kid.

I thought we were just going into it. That's it. That's it, baby. Oh shit. Wait. So at the end of it, hold on. So at the end of it, it's just you just passed judgment if I'm garbage or not. Yeah.

I mean, not to be so harsh, past judgment is a harsh way to put it. We use a very scientific. And we said you were classy. I thought this is all leading to something. It's all leading to like, I'll take it. So, so wait. I'm officially not garbage. You're officially not garbage, man.

You're a gentleman. You got me with the violin. I'll say you're a gentleman with some garbage tendencies. Okay. Wow. I mean, do I get like a plaque or something like that for not being garbage? I felt for sure I was going to come here and be garbage. We'll mail it to you.

You thought we just did an hour long intro? That's what I thought. I was just vamping. I didn't know. You could take the easy cheese if you wanted. Oh, man. I wasn't. I didn't even think I was funny or entertaining.

I thought we were just going to eat meat. That was fantastic. No, it was great, man. Thank you so much. Thank you. Easy peasy. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Brian Quinn. Thank you, buddy.

Appreciate you coming, man. I didn't even get to fucking do it. The cow's start coming. Bunch of raccoons start walking in here. What the fuck? Oh, man. You got anything you want to hit the folks out there with? Yeah.

Come see us on tour. We're live on tour. We're playing the New York area. We're doing a credential center in a couple of weeks. Come on out. That's fucking amazing. Come see us on tour. And every Thursday night, new episodes of Season 10

and Practical Jogas are airing on True TV and DBS. My man. Unbelievable. Congratulations. Thank you so much, guys. This was a lot of fun. Unreal. Thank you, Kippy.

What do you got for him? We're all over the road as well. Our shows are selling out. We're out in some and some markets. Get those tickets now before they're gone. Thank you so much. Gang, come see us. We love you and we'll see you next week.

Peace.