Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Bring Your Own Beer! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: August 20, 2026

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come t...o a live show! NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: ZocDoc: Taking care of your health just got easier – start here with Zocdoc: https://zocdoc.com/GARBAGE Promo Code: GARBAGE Helix Sleep: Go to https://helixsleep.com/garbage for 27% Off Sitewide — Exclusive for listeners of Are You Garbage. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Gurbish. Still got it. It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedian. and we find that it's the group to be classy.
Starting point is 00:00:32 Sure about that? They're just a big old piece of trash. Corbidge. I'm your host, Tatech, fully coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootty's in the new edition. She's upstairs doing the Millie Rock. Let's go. My co's coming out from across the tables.
Starting point is 00:00:46 We call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. Just the way we like it. Give it up for my best pal in a whole wide world. King of the Burbs, King of the Boards. Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What up, gang. Shout out to you, as always.
Starting point is 00:00:59 Please make sure you. View, subscribe, and on iTunes, full video available on YouTube, full video available over there on Spotify and the boys are climbing to freaking charts. Yes, we are. And then obviously the greatest website of all time, www. www.com slash rar your garbage. You go over there, you sign up for the $5. I would say to do the $10. That's what, 95% of people are at the $1.
Starting point is 00:01:17 It's the value. Is that what you called value? It's value. Consumerism? I guess. I don't know. To be honest with you, we fell backwards into it. That's just kind of how I made it up at the day when we started it.
Starting point is 00:01:28 Guys at Forbes really ate it up Yeah You go over there You get two bonus episodes a week Hard feelings You get AYG plus you get the back Catalog in the last like five years Or something like that
Starting point is 00:01:38 Well however long we've been doing We've been doing it's a long time A long freaking time We've done this show six years Go over there enjoying the Army 16,000 strong Yes I saw a very cool comment Came across my desk earlier
Starting point is 00:01:50 It said You have a desk? No I don't have a desk I don't have a desk Hey do you got a desk in there No the boys took it That's right the shark
Starting point is 00:01:58 Yeah, I don't have any. I don't have a desk. Edit his videos. I give it to my employees. But it said it's pretty cool that if you can just type in, are you garbage in a comedian's name? There's like a 90%, 95% chance they've done the show. That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:02:13 And you're like, oh, shit. Yeah, you forget. We've been doing it's a long time. A lot of friends. A lot of people are under the bridge. But you don't have a boat big enough. I got something for you. I was down there on a boardwalk.
Starting point is 00:02:25 Can you get to boards? Sure. You know what I mean? Sure. Finally got to follow back for the number one tavern. Take that! Let's go. The guy who won the Stanley Cup.
Starting point is 00:02:32 Yeah. I was on a boardwalk is about 9 a.m. Jesus. What? Getting after early, yeah. Time to happy hours start that. No, so. The boardwalk at 9 a.m.
Starting point is 00:02:44 I was on a run. Smell the old ketchup from the day before. Yeah. I always hated that. Uh-huh. Faint smell of malt vinegar. Seagulls eaten, you know, whatever the, whatever scraps. Remember a homelessman died?
Starting point is 00:02:56 A whole, this is a whole, this is a, The whole family, a whole, I'm talking a dirtbag Philadelphia family on the Wildwood Boardwalk. Shout out to him. I wrote down the exact time. It was 9.12 a.m. Okay. Whole family eating pizza. 9.
Starting point is 00:03:15 Where are you getting a slizzy? 9 a.m. Well, my thing is, I'm not against pizza for breakfast. Well documented. Well documented. I don't think there's a time you shouldn't or should he not. You get pizza when everyone eat pizza. How are you getting a fresh pie at 9?
Starting point is 00:03:30 They're slinging them down there. Are they? And also, but my thing is, I get if it's the only option, if you're like the air or something, but there's like breakfast places, like every block on the boardwalk
Starting point is 00:03:44 that you can easily walk in, no line, get a short stack and a fucking western omelet. That's that all about? What do you got on that? I don't know. That's a, dude, that top, they were what they had the whole,
Starting point is 00:03:56 the big, pie, right? The large daddy? Dad's carrying the big pie. With the flop? You got to get two hands on that thing. He's got to be. He's got it like this, right?
Starting point is 00:04:06 Dad's carrying it like this. They had a two-liter of Coke. Those kids can't be doing good in school. They just can't, man. Scientifically, they cannot be doing well. And the one daughter was carrying a stack of paper plates. Like they asked, they were going to eat outside. They were eating.
Starting point is 00:04:24 I could maybe go do that anymore. Were they walking? Yeah, they had got it. They were walking down the boardwalk, I think, to like a bench to post up and have breakfast. That's tough, right? Listen, right? That's, oh, did you get a gander at the toppings? Unless it was a-pest-up.
Starting point is 00:04:43 A breakfast sauce. Yeah, unless it was a bacon, egg and cheese sauce. No. It would give a little more sway. You'd have to do a little more. There's got to be mushrooms and olives on that thing, too. Trish. Dude, they were going heavy or whatever is free at the thing.
Starting point is 00:05:00 They're doing it all garlic powder. Look, like a quarter of shake on there. Bag of swag. I'll give you that. That's a tough look. I just remember being like, ah, top. And you're a jersey shorts. Oh, a tough look.
Starting point is 00:05:11 What the hell are you talking about? I was exercising. I got a green juice, which I was running. People, I ran every day. Which, by the way. Shamrock shake. I'm like, King of the boards is a joke. I mean, our fan base is heavy in wild.
Starting point is 00:05:25 You're jogging by? Oh, dude, people are looking at me like, what? You're huffing it down there? Yeah, I ran every morning. Really? Two miles. How far you go down? What?
Starting point is 00:05:33 To the funnel cake joint and back? I go down and have breakfast with that family. You grab a funnel cake down there? Nah. Really? No. What the fuck? I just got a pain.
Starting point is 00:05:42 Really? Fuck, no, Kimmy! I've been catching. That's your right side. I've been catching stingers. Really? Yeah. I'd be getting chest pains.
Starting point is 00:05:50 Oh, cool. Look at us. We're making fun of family eating pizza for breakfast. I haven't taken my baby aspirin, which I think I should. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's the widow maker right there. That saves you from a heart attack.
Starting point is 00:06:03 Pop one of those baby aspirin. Healthyest podcast in America. Our nebietal. What I was going to say is I have a little French toast this weekend, believe it or not. Why would I not be able to believe that? I'm not a French toast guy. Where the fuck you ever see me eat French toast? All right.
Starting point is 00:06:19 I mean, you're not not a French toast guy. I like it, but I don't like patties, really. All right. I think what my mommy does it. But she has done a long time. Because you don't call her. You don't text her. She's blowing up my phone is, bro, because you won't call her back.
Starting point is 00:06:34 I call her back. I had to go over there for Sunday dinner the other night. I bet you did. A little dessert, too. You're foul. She's dressed up like Ali Lauder from fucking Varsity Blues. You're a foul man. You're a heathen.
Starting point is 00:06:49 Woo! It's your goddamn mother. That's right. So what if she's a tramp, you know? You're a son of a bitch. Patty, I love you, obviously. We're doing too much with French toast. It's just completely...
Starting point is 00:07:01 What would you do? Well, this had, like, this had Mars Capone cheese and lemon cur. Mars Capone isn't cheese. Yes, it is. Mars Capone. It's Al Capone sister. He also ran the Pite Fitters Union from 1970 to 1988. They got him with a nail bomb.
Starting point is 00:07:20 What? You can tell when you like when your hands start. I didn't think Mars Capone. I thought it was like a whipping, like a whipped cream. No, it's cheese, dumbass. It's a soft triple cream Italian cheese. I had no idea. Triple cream, bitch.
Starting point is 00:07:35 I thought you were more of a Fremunda cheese, man. Get that. I like to smell it. It's just too much, man. Just do fucking straight French toast. Why'd you order it? That's all they had wanted something sweet for the table. You know?
Starting point is 00:07:50 And they didn't have a short stack? No, they never a short stack. They didn't have a sticky bun. They only had French toast. With Marsa, Marsa Pan, with the triple soft Italian cheese on it. That's all they had. That's all they had. What was the name of this place?
Starting point is 00:08:06 Astoria out in Cleveland. Shout out to it, Detroit Avenue. Fantastic great time. Stop saying streets. Why? First of all, you've only ever said Detroit Avenue. Makes you think it's the only block you've ever been. There's a lot going on.
Starting point is 00:08:20 That's what someone said about street road. They go, how long is this fucking street? It says everything seems to happen. Yeah, it's delicious. Now, shout out to a story. I love to join. And it's not them. I'm just saying, in general, we've got to stop with the French toast.
Starting point is 00:08:33 Just fucking do it normal. Just make normal French toast. That's all anybody really wants. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Sick of the shit. That, the data centers. It's all jammed up.
Starting point is 00:08:47 I still don't know what they are. You know, either do I. It's like a wigman's. I don't know. I got data. It's a pretty good idea to me. Hey, I parts. Ah, man, pizza for breakfast.
Starting point is 00:09:00 God love them. Also, too, I wanted to bring up. I was down ashore. My sister's family was down there as well. Oh, yeah? And I've always pegged her pretty class. Not trashy, but, you know, she's kind of neutral. Tough cookie.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Yeah. I stay clear of her. Uh-huh. Yeah, you're not on her. Yeah. She's always been nice to you. Very sweet to me. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:09:19 But I just know. I, even if people, even if those kind of people are nice to me, I know that they are more human and, like, have their shit way more together than I do. And they look not down on me, but, you know, I'm a moron in her eyes. I think you're a moron in a lot of people. I'm just, you know, I think of we're. If a fly looks at me. That's a lot of eyes.
Starting point is 00:09:41 That's what I, that's the, yeah. I got you. It's the bit we're doing. It's never a good bit when you have to tell me it's the bit we're doing. Hey, you know it. No, I know. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:09:53 Guys are real locked in. Shark, hit me with a fly eye. This is one just flew in your mouth. I know. It's fruit flies in his joint. Like a fucking Irish bar. Why's your mom here? Daddy!
Starting point is 00:10:10 Somebody changed the Maraschino cherries in his joint. You got to pour hot water down the drain. That's how you get rid of them. They're not in the drain. Yeah, they are? That's not where they're coming from the trash. We love food in the trash. No.
Starting point is 00:10:22 Trust me, they nest in the drain. I'm not saying they don't. Okay. They put their larvae down there. That's what they do. That's how we did it back in the day. You pour hot water down a drink, kill all the larva. Larva.
Starting point is 00:10:38 Larva. Yeah. Larva. Whatever. Who you fucking Doctor Who? What's the name? What the fuck did Doctor Who do anyway? See a time traveler?
Starting point is 00:10:49 Yeah. That guy was a freak. I don't know when that hit. The second flip got into it. I was like, I hate this. Hey, Doctor. Dude, I don't know if it's a cartoon What's with the phone booth?
Starting point is 00:11:01 Is it British? Yeah, oh yeah, very. Get out of here, dude. Fuck you. He word out weird. The one in the 70s was crazy. There's multiple? Yeah, multiple series.
Starting point is 00:11:12 Was that the reboot that everybody got into? So it's never stopped. Like, they just add doc. It's like James Bond. Like there's a new Doctor Who every few years. Doctor Who gives you shit. What does he do? What?
Starting point is 00:11:24 Killing over here. He's flies. What does he do? Not quite sure. He's a time traveling. like cop. Oh, I'm out. Is he a time time and count?
Starting point is 00:11:31 I thought he was just causing trouble. I don't think, I think he. Don't they call him inspectors? He's a time travel inspector. No, that's not. Nothing's worse than a British guy from another time period. No, thanks. I barely like you now.
Starting point is 00:11:43 And that? Hello. Fucking British guy from the 70s. Oh, man. Yeah. Hey, Austin Powers. Hit the showers, really? I'll talk to who to work on his French toastcase.
Starting point is 00:12:01 Patty, I'm coming. home. I need a hot meal and a warm bed. It's a Mars Capone. I don't like Mars Capone either. And I'm barely
Starting point is 00:12:10 hanging on with Riccata. They're the truth. I'm not going on to reality. I like a sharp cheddar myself. But my sister's whole family sleeps mad
Starting point is 00:12:21 late. Isn't that trashy? There are a bunch of sleepy heads. I thought there was a radon leaking the house. You can't do that. You're sure.
Starting point is 00:12:32 in a house. Like it's fucking Boathouse Row rolling up and fucking 11 o'clock. Mid late. The point where I'm like, because I wake up with the baby.
Starting point is 00:12:42 Eating that cold bacon and fucking I take them outside and I go I'll give you to the house with you know I'll help save some time. I'll take them for a walk. I'll fucking put it out on a deck something. He's fine.
Starting point is 00:12:54 Is he a rooster? I came to I came home at fucking 10.30 to one day. Two of them were still snoozing. Get the fuck up. The lunchtime. It's crazy. You make to miss his Hale P-Whorter.
Starting point is 00:13:08 We're a Russo's family. Oh, man. Yeah. And I looked at my mom, I go, there's something wrong with a whole family sleeping still. Top down. What are they all popping mellow tone? I don't know what's going on. The one's like seven.
Starting point is 00:13:21 I go, a seven-year-old should be sleeping as late. Yeah, get up. Nike wills. They're running around, do something. I used to, dude, I was always the fucking last one to bed and the first one. And that is torture at a sleepover down down the shore. It's called anxiety. Yeah, it is.
Starting point is 00:13:39 Down the shore, I'd be up at like six waiting for everybody to get up. And the first two that I'd be up would be my uncle Mike and my mom. And they would have shag ass to some diner at like 6.30 to rip heaters and have breakfast. I'd go sit there with them. That sounds like what you do. That's your dream. What are you talking? It was cool.
Starting point is 00:13:58 It was cool. But still, it's just fucking, man. I shouldn't have been in the. those conversations and around that. That's a real conference. The 6.30 a.m. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:08 We're not talking about he-man and shit. Fucking what scratching sniff colors coming out. No, they were talking fucking Gorbachev and fucking Newt Gingrich. Tear down that wall. Yeah, dude. Woo.
Starting point is 00:14:21 Wee. Yeah. I mean the only kid in the diner at fucking 6 a.m. just truck drivers and hookers. Sounds like a nice neighborhood you were staying. Shout out to the chatterbox at Ocean City Jesus Christ
Starting point is 00:14:36 Yeah Yeah that's too late though You can't be sleeping in Who the fuck's sleeping in? Crazy right? Uh-huh You sleep until noon last week When we had stuff to do
Starting point is 00:14:48 What you mean we'll fuck sleeping in? That's true I did Woke up in a panic Yeah Like you should have All right listen All that's neither here We got a gosh darn family
Starting point is 00:14:58 It's down of business here We got a family episode to get to you I mean All right, let's see here What the hell was that? I got these bugs on me, dude Luke just requests a fly trap. The boys are jammed up. We have to fill out a P.O.
Starting point is 00:15:17 We got the curtain fixed, though. Shout out the D's fixing the curtain. Oh, nice. First thing he'd do, he came in. Got on a ladder, hooked that up. Very good. I broke that, by the way. No, wait, really?
Starting point is 00:15:26 Yeah. I didn't even think of it, of courts. Right. Yeah, trying to close it or open it. Open it. Because this dickhead fucking keeps it pinched. And the air condition, he's blowing against the curtain. Not to mention, you keep it on Eco.
Starting point is 00:15:42 Fuck that shit. These kids are on their own. I want cold. All to Freon. Uh-huh. Fucking blast me out. Fucking Eco. Is that what you and your boys do on the weekend?
Starting point is 00:15:54 I'm blessed you out. That's a family show. I don't care what you're doing your spare time, but clean it up, will you? Yes. Thank you. I apologize. All right, this one's from Doc. There's Sugg of my balls.
Starting point is 00:16:09 Long time, homie, never have one run. How do you feel about a grown man licking an ice cream cone? Hmm. Interesting. Listen, I don't know if this is the 1990s. Can't enjoy a cone? Homophobia in me. Not homophobia, you know, that was considered, yeah, it's not my cup. And that's the wrong thought, but that's instilled in me.
Starting point is 00:16:36 I can't go. You can't get a cone in the summer when I'm. It's burning hot. It's, dude, you got a lick. It goes everywhere. Hey, blast it out. What are you talking?
Starting point is 00:16:44 I had one. I had a cup not that long ago. The balls? They did with the gust of my life. No, I had a fucking cone from a joint. And I had to look around it. I had to look around a cone.
Starting point is 00:16:59 Yeah. It's melting everywhere. I like half-melted ice cream. Don't get me wrong. But I like when it's in like the Ben and Jerry's tub, and I spoon it out. This was a little cup. It was falling everywhere.
Starting point is 00:17:09 What the fuck you're going to do? What are you supposed to do? Yeah, I don't, I'm a weird guy. I don't do, I'm not like walking and doing ice cream. I'm not doing sweet treats like that. That's how you get got. Now, you're a walk, dude, you're a sitting duck. You're walking, got chocolate and that wall over your face.
Starting point is 00:17:23 A fellow comes up and clobber you. You're a young dolphin. What do you mean? You're sitting on num, num, num, no, no. You are a C. Let him get me why I got a cone of my hand. I don't give a fuck. What?
Starting point is 00:17:34 Let him get me. Come get it. Okay. I pull out the fucking Nina. Oh, I don't, you are. I don't like this. Got a switch on it. Shit.
Starting point is 00:17:45 The fucking barrel on it. Well, that the heater. Fuck that. I want to go with a cone of my hand. Okay. Well, then keep operating like that. I will. Yeah, no, that's, yeah, that's, uh.
Starting point is 00:17:58 What do you think that's trashy? No. I didn't, what? Feminine? Yeah. To lick an ice cream cone? To lick anything publicly, I would say, is by the historical. Oh, get out of here with that.
Starting point is 00:18:09 It's 2026. Enjoy your ice cream. I'm not saying, don't. I'll go to Big Guy ice cream. We got a nice cone right now. Licked the whole thing. Top to bottom. Then get ice cream.
Starting point is 00:18:19 I didn't see if I'm going to the store. Listen, I'm not saying don't do it. I enjoy you. I'm just saying for whatever reason what was ever instilled in me, that's tough for me to overcome. And I'm saying that's wrong as the progressive movement has showed me. All day. You know what a lot of people do now. is they get the cup and they get the cone on top
Starting point is 00:18:43 and you kind of crush it up with your spoon. That way you have like a little bit of boat. You got an upside down cone, which they usually do with friendlies for the kids. They do the sugar cone upside down and they give you the two Reese's pieces of eyes. That thing, one thing melted. Like something out of a nightmare.
Starting point is 00:19:01 Scary. His eyes are running and they're bleeding. Yeah, I don't know. I never, yeah, I just. I don't mind you. put a whole bag of sour skittles at the airport you stink everybody was looking at me and there was a couple I didn't get and people kept walking and smushing them into the carpet
Starting point is 00:19:19 why didn't you why couldn't you get them right yeah you didn't get you at that point that's the airport that's the FDA's problem or whoever FAA FAA FTA FAA FAA FAA FAA FAA FDA too food and drug administration Yeah, fuck them I can't hold up in court I'll take them on two seconds
Starting point is 00:19:42 Um, yeah, I listen, you do you, but I mean, he's asking it to say, he's got, I guess he's got the same kind of feeling. No good. There's something a little dainty about it. That's all I'm saying. What you do in the privacy of your home is up to you. You never have to do it in your house because it's nice, it's good temperature in the house. It's only when it's fucking hot as shit outside. What are you going to run all over your hands and you got sticky hands?
Starting point is 00:20:03 They only give you a little tiny fucking napkin. I mean, what the fuck, man? You got to lick it. Are you doing cones of the crib? sometimes patty likes a cone she'll do a cone like an old school cone the sugar cone or whatever like no old school cone
Starting point is 00:20:18 what's an old school okay old school cone is the wafer cone wafer cone that's what I meant I'm sorry yeah yeah okay I apologize sugar cone that's that's rich kid shit we never got sugar cones I don't know the difference I know the wayfer and cones yeah you know the difference
Starting point is 00:20:29 a regular cone oh hey what the fuck what is this the Middle East relax I don't have cones over there what the fuck everything with milk all the bombs either.
Starting point is 00:20:43 Like the cheap cones. Cheap cones on a sugar cone. Sugar cone is the hard, is the hard, is the hard, crunchy brown cone. Waifer cone has like the bowl. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:55 Of wafer. Yes. Yeah, like the Mr. Softy cone. Yeah. Yeah, that's all we had growing up. I don't know what a sugar cone. The sugar cone.
Starting point is 00:21:03 It was the rough times when you were eating one of those. Up in there. These flies are crazy. This is like the fly episode, dude. What the fuck? These weren't here last week.
Starting point is 00:21:12 I came in and cleaned up You guys had trash everywhere Oh yeah, thanks so much for doing that man You're the best you're the best partner I've ever seen in my life Thank you man, I'm sorry Appreciate it Yeah
Starting point is 00:21:23 Not so bad yourself Uh huh You come in you broke the curtain Didn't tell anybody You come in you claim you're cleaning up our trash And then throw it in our face publicly You're a good guy Thank you
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Starting point is 00:22:03 I can't make it. Do you take this? Do you take that? It's all over. Then you get there. Oh, we don't do this. You've got to send you the forms. Listen, I then, a few, maybe two years ago, I was like, you know,
Starting point is 00:22:12 You know what? I got to go get a physical. Went on to Zock doc doc. I just put in, I had really bad at choice that this is, they gave me somebody. End up loving the guy. You get to read the reviews. You get to review the review of the doctor, the practice, what it's like. So you have some information before you're going in.
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Starting point is 00:23:25 And we really, we talk about helix genuinely because we love helix. Yeah. We genuinely love it. Change the helix made me feel like it was my first big boy mattress, adult mattress, and I can't go back. I got a helix. You got a heel. You're on your second helix, I believe.
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Starting point is 00:24:23 One more time, 27% off sitewide. Exclusive for all you garbage, that's helixleep.com slash garbage for 27% offsitewide. Make sure you enter the show name after checkout and let them know the boys send you one more time, helixleaf.com slash garbage. Do it. Um, all right, let's see here. Enough, enough for the horseplay. This one's from Frogman, $10 black market tuna, never had one read.
Starting point is 00:24:47 Great name. Is it garbage to eat the leftovers from a restaurant on the car ride home from said restaurant? I mean. I wouldn't be, yeah, for sure. It's when they're the freshest. But I wouldn't be in the, like, what is the distance you're driving to then not be in the mood? Like, if I was, if I'm going to eat it 30 minutes later, let's, all right, let's say you finish eating, it's nine of clock they wrap it up they drop it you got to be hung check paid in the car driving home by what
Starting point is 00:25:19 940 sure at that point after dinner drink yeah just call digest teeth maybe 45 minutes i think it's a long time from check bay to cracking back into the scampy yeah why not just finish it at the table or go i'm going to wait till i get home we take it home i'm a big fan of eating at that night though before it gets refrigerated big fan yeah not right night yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Well, Doc, not a leftover guy, but I, that I call right home. Seems insane. You still trying to close ass with that? You even have utensils?
Starting point is 00:25:51 Wow. Nobody gives your fucking utensils. No. Takeout different. Take out I'll give you. You take out you. Yeah, this you take a shrimp. I did this.
Starting point is 00:26:02 I was down ashore. I got a cheese steak and fries at the bag. You pick it up. Rousers, you pick it up at the back counter. And then you go up to the front, you pay. They bag them fries? Or they put them in a plastic or a styrofoam? container.
Starting point is 00:26:14 They're, classy. It's, uh, the carton. Like the, Chinese carton? What's the Chinese carton? The brown,
Starting point is 00:26:21 the brown paper carton. Just wait. Why? You just stop with this. You just said no right away. I gave you the car. They put them in a cart and you said no. Chinese.
Starting point is 00:26:30 And then you bring the Chinese into it for some reason. They're everywhere. Fucking tariffs are killing me. No, like a fry cart. Like the fucking boat. Like the little fucking. I know you're talking about. Yeah. But the things of fries come in.
Starting point is 00:26:42 Oh, oh. Oh, with the red and white. Yeah. Oh, okay. And then a little wax paper over top. Then a little wax paper bag. They stuff it in that. And then they give it to you like standing up, though.
Starting point is 00:26:51 I respect that. Yeah, because they don't steam. Yeah. That's the way that Pudges does them. And they get home and they're crispy fries. And then you get up to the counter and they put all of that in like brown, like good old market brown paper bags. They put that.
Starting point is 00:27:06 If you get a soda, they separate the soda and a plan. Very nice. But I'm sitting here in line. I'm crushing fries as I'm paying which felt very fat I felt like I was being judged but once you pop done you can't stop no especially those kind of fries that jersey sure or oh man
Starting point is 00:27:27 it's been there since the 80s got a lot of flavor in it I don't know if it's peanut oil or tallow or what they're using that stuff's that ain't fucking soybean I'll tell you that I'm eating them on the walk huh just I'm just fries walking fries I am what I am, dude. Sure. I'm eating the cheese shakes are huge.
Starting point is 00:27:47 I'm crushing. Crushing them. Multi cheese. Multi cheese steak weekend for your boy. Running every day. I was. But first I'd get up and I'd run. I'd only drank light beer.
Starting point is 00:28:01 I had a couple IPA. Shout to a Kate May IPA. I went out to dinner. I didn't know they had them. Oh. Kate May IPA. Oh. What do they think of next?
Starting point is 00:28:10 Check it out. man i haven't an ipa in the dog's age be funny if you're right on yourself and they had them about three weeks yeah you're not missing much yeah i don't miss it yeah they stink gay hit me up i don't miss the booze yeah it's good yeah
Starting point is 00:28:26 other stuff who was you when you're off uh all right let's see here yeah the eating on the ride home from the restaurant that's i mean trash yeah yeah that's trash but yeah you know do you but like you said they are the fresh This is a great name
Starting point is 00:28:43 This is from Smarty Jones and for a Perkissette Hello Are you garbage if your family used a funeral As an excuse to party My uncle got all banged up at the luncheon Open bar and proceeded to play The Cupid Shuffle Over the dining rooms audio system
Starting point is 00:28:59 When asked to stop his drunk and responsible She would have wanted it this way Damn dude that's a I think if that guy's in the family And acting like that, he's not that far away from the rest of your family. Jesus. You're, that's how you're, if somebody, the Kennedy or somebody would be going, that, that's a huge jump. But if he went, I could, I can request, I can get the ox cord here.
Starting point is 00:29:28 Sure. Also, who's given on the ox cord? And then the cupids, like, that's in the world, that's in the world of possibility. Yeah. Wild. You know, someone else. They, there's a couple of ants who are probably rolling their eyes, but some of the uncles are probably fucking. Scoot, do, do.
Starting point is 00:29:40 Do do do do do do I like it. Yeah, that's, I mean, music out of, that should be a somber event, right? Yeah. Very. Yeah. I'm a big fan of no music. No music at the restaurant.
Starting point is 00:29:57 No music. Somber. Yeah, but you get it. Oh, at, where? At a funeral or just any restaurant? Do you just like stuff somber? And you're a fucking wacko, dude. In conversation with people.
Starting point is 00:30:08 Talk, person. Mm-hmm. I don't like a restaurant where it's all loud. Blasting that shit. Can't hear the reels. I'm playing on my phone. Also the worst conversationalist in private. You stink.
Starting point is 00:30:21 That's terrible. I get around regular people. I'm charming. What am I? Jerk off. You're playing Sean Paul when I'm trying to eat? I don't even know who that is, really. Shun the ball?
Starting point is 00:30:35 Yeah. Just give me the light and pass the door. Is he really Jamaica? Somebody that a bugger Lama mode. because Shaggy's not Jamaican. He is, but I don't think he's not that Jamaican. He ain't Jamaican me crazy. He ain't he's invited to the cookout, though.
Starting point is 00:30:51 He'll bring the beef patties. Shout out to a Jamaican beef patty. You know how I feel about them. Yes, I said it. Yeah. All right, cool. You play whatever the hell you want with those things. Getting served.
Starting point is 00:31:03 Yeah, any music at an event like that's tough. We did I told you we put in At my stepdad's funeral We did shots of absolute And because that's what he drank And we played I got friends in low places
Starting point is 00:31:19 Like 15 times on repeat Well I got Go out smoke a heater Come back There's nothing like a heater After fucking two or three Absolute Warm absolute shots
Starting point is 00:31:32 I'll tell you that You're in his suit With the collar run done You step outside The Buck Hotel and crank one Like you're going through menopause. I got a hot flash. I'm burping out of the side of my mouth.
Starting point is 00:31:46 Yeah. Absolute gross. Absolute scumbag. I remember that was where we were trying to get Sigs delivered because we were cranking them. Everybody's smoking. Trying to get Sigs delivered. Can't get SIG so my wife drove to get a cigarettes. And I'm a dude.
Starting point is 00:32:09 She came in like the fucking. like a helicopter in fucking Beirut to see she came in over the ridge here she comes a hot drop get your lighters going I was like you need to do this
Starting point is 00:32:28 for the family you need it's what you want I wanted and go get me Marvel lights and Danny smokes Camel Blues you can't say camel lights anymore you gotta say camel blues
Starting point is 00:32:40 Is that what Danny smoked? Smoked. Danny's off the heaters. Whole family's off the heaters. Shut up to them. Whole family. Have a heater done ashore? No.
Starting point is 00:32:49 No. Whole family's off them. Zins, big zinners. Yeah. Or whatever they're doing the, you know. Kids like this. Get it. Cool guys are vaping, I hear.
Starting point is 00:32:59 The Lucy Breakers. Lucy Breakers. Company man over here. What the fuck? Someone's got to be. They re-up? Otherwise we're cut. They're always in.
Starting point is 00:33:10 I mean, for me, I'm a Lucy Breakers guy, but I'm saying my brother, because he's an idiot, he does not Lucy Breaker. Do they fucking sponsor this week? Why am I doing that? I have to pull out a heater right now. All right, this one's from Todi Fick. Garbage or Genius, sometimes I make a salami sandwich for the drive to the grocery store. Saves me from the impulse hunger buys. They always say you should never go to the grocery store hungry.
Starting point is 00:33:38 They also don't. I don't think they should eat salami in the car in the middle. all August. I used to love a salami I'd get salami for lunch. Whoa. In high school. In high school.
Starting point is 00:33:52 Just a thin slice, a couple slices of salami and American cheese. Uh-huh. That'll do you. That breath must have been a rank. Fucking right before Jim. No dudes wanted to blast you out on that one.
Starting point is 00:34:08 Oh, man. I had heartburn back, too. That shit would fuck you up. That little Dijon. Mustard. Fucking roll onions. I had some salami. Eating like a Russian auto worker. Outside of, outside of Maco.
Starting point is 00:34:27 Maco. The auto body place? The auto body place? I get those things on Instagram. What, like, what a, you know, what a cab driver in the 70s 8, that AI? Or they show what the presidents would eat? Man, it makes me hungry. They really chomp.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Shut up. I'm being paid to talk. Not this week, you're not. You can watch a beheading video and be like, you know, it makes me hungry for jello. He had pita in the background. Oh, man, nice hummus spread. Any time I see the desert, I think of hummus. And it gets me going.
Starting point is 00:35:12 You know, it gets me hungry. When they transfer. Everything. When they. I've been doing this show. for six years with it. When they transported Alexander the Great from wherever he got got to back home, they put him in honey to preserve him.
Starting point is 00:35:24 For some reason, that makes me hungry. The thought of that? Did you see footage? How old is he? Alexander the Great? Wait, what? He's all these shit. Yeah, so what are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:35:38 Cameras back to. No, they talk about it. They do videos of it. They coated him. They put them in a big thing of honey. That's what I won't provide funeral. Big thing in the telella. Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:35:54 I used to get hungry, too, when they were talking about the land of milk and honey. It sounded delicious. Where's that at? Somewhere in the Middle East. Oh. Oh, really? I think so.
Starting point is 00:36:03 I thought it was pussy. Go to the land of milk and honey. It ain't Baltimore. I don't think of that. Yeah, I don't know. The land of milk and honey. I don't know. Something in the Bible or something like that.
Starting point is 00:36:14 The land of milk and honey wasn't in the Bible. I think it was. I think that's where you get the 72 virgins. Where? The land of milk and honey. It is pussy. It's from Exodus. Exodus.
Starting point is 00:36:28 God promises to leave the Israelites out of slavery and Egypt to a rich, fertile, and spacious land. Called the land of milk and honey. That ain't bad. That whole milk. I don't know. Really? Give me a tummy ache. All that lactose and then the bees, the fly.
Starting point is 00:36:46 You got flies in the air. Imagine all that honey. He's sticking. Well, they used to do that in ancient Egypt. What? They'd have a guy, they'd pay a guy or whatever, not beat him to, they put honey all over him, so he's staying next to the king. So he wouldn't get, you flies on him. Yeah.
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Starting point is 00:38:51 Let's see here. This one's, this is a great name. I think we've had this. This is from Burger, she wrote. Longtime, $10 contributor to the church of garbage. Growing up, did you have a piece of wood used as a secondary lock on a sliding door or window? Oh, yeah. Or a broomstick down there.
Starting point is 00:39:06 Same thing. Which I thought was genius. I still do. Yeah. I moved into the house. First thing I did was went to home. I had two sliding doors. First thing I went to the depot.
Starting point is 00:39:13 Bought a long rod, slid him up. Yeah. How you don't? It's like a fucking boat. You feel safer. You feel safe. You got the big lock on it, the alarms on, but I go, I know physically, you're not, you're going to have to smash the window. And then listen, guys, I got window alarms going.
Starting point is 00:39:31 I got glass breaking alarm. You're glass breaking alarms? Uh-huh. Huh. Good to know. Okay, Luke, cancel my delivery of bricks. In order to be a diamond cutter, what? Yeah, I don't know why that.
Starting point is 00:39:47 feels now the baby plays with it all day long. What you got to hide it from him? What? The stick? The stick? Yeah. I mean, that's a sword. That's a gun.
Starting point is 00:39:57 He don't know any. He just knows it knocks things down. Take big tree fall hard. All right. Let's see here. This was from Fritz. Shout to our boy Fritzy. Hey, Fritzy.
Starting point is 00:40:09 Which is trash. You're wearing a knee brace on the outside of the jeans or wearing a walking boot. This is a tough one. The walking boot. Well documented. Garbage. Throw in the little walking boot caddy next to it. The little kneeler.
Starting point is 00:40:25 That's. Stay in. Stay home. You don't need to go out to dinner that bad. I do. I do. Walking boots were like, they're like newer in the, within the past few decades. Like growing up, nobody was in a walking boot.
Starting point is 00:40:39 That's all new shit. You were on crutches before. Yeah. And then like they started reading that, I think they're like very normal. You see more walking. Walking boots than not at this point. That's the last time you've seen someone on crutches. Yeah, the knee brace.
Starting point is 00:40:52 He only see that every once in a while. The knee brace on the outside of the jeans. You just wear shorts. Yeah. Yeah. That feels like sports related to me, though. At least like the, if you got like a metal, like you go, ah, that's something. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:41:04 That doesn't feel like. Walking boot, you got drunk and missed the last step. Yeah. Yeah. Cracked your foot. That's tough. Made a walking boot. I saw someone on the beach on a walking boot.
Starting point is 00:41:15 Fuck that. Stayed the fuck home. Yes. Stay home. That sand gets in there. Next year's your year. This wasn't your year. Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 00:41:22 Sit it out. That's it. Come back. Go on waivers. Man, why? He's got sand in there and stuff? That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:41:32 Hot heat. Bees piling. Country is shit. All right, let's see here. This one's from Cole. Longtime, $10, homie, never have one. Red. Is it garbagey jarred?
Starting point is 00:41:48 dip cold. This is a highly debated topic between me and the bird in our household. She thinks it's trashy. Well. I have my take on this being that I did it maybe 48 hours. Yeah, here's the deal.
Starting point is 00:42:04 But please. There can be an argument made for when you buy the Tostitos casso dip that you even heating it up would be trying to be something you're not and it's not. Trying to be fancy. I don't know about that.
Starting point is 00:42:17 I'm a big fan of that cold. but heat it up, it's nice. But that jar is really only a single-use jar. As much as I know it's not. But once that shit gets in the fridge for a couple of days, it's fucked. Yeah. So I don't think it's trashy to eat that cold. I really don't.
Starting point is 00:42:44 I don't see a problem with it. Can you get the directions? Like what's on, what, you know, what do the good folks hit, toast. Let's go. What's happening with the pros? I can tell you the directions. You come home from the gas station that you bought it at.
Starting point is 00:42:58 All right. You put on cops. And then you put it in a microwave. It's so funny. It's so classy to me. It was so until like I didn't know. For a minute. I had some this weekend cold.
Starting point is 00:43:08 It's trashier. The texture is. You need to heat to open up those. Open up those flavors. It changes the consistency. It's got a real coagulated consistency cold. Hey, cheese. No, we do these.
Starting point is 00:43:22 not it's glue um it's a horse i don't know what i just doesn't feel right i'm not saying it's bad i like it i do think it it has added value certain things cold but that is a warm melted cheese is warm they've just found out how to keep it relatively melted cold what do you got uh tea tosteo cheese dip pop the jar open scoop it up with your favorite tortilla chips or warm it up in the microwave safe bowl for 30 seconds. You can eat it cold straight from the jar, but heating it up makes the cheese smooth and creamy for dipping. I'll give you that. Let me tell you something.
Starting point is 00:44:05 Smooth and creamy is the key there. You go two, three seconds over that fucking recommended 30 seconds. You got a fucking meltdown on your hands. Yeah, that's bad. Pulling that elephant foot out of the microwave. Brutal. Yeah, I also, I was also, I guess you put the, you can't. can't put the jar in the microwave.
Starting point is 00:44:25 Yeah, you can. Not with the lid. You shouldn't. What's that? I'll get out of here with that. You just can't put metal in there. Take the lid off. You put that jar in air.
Starting point is 00:44:38 But that's also even makes you feel. I get to your, it's what? Well, it's also just a thing, like, to me, like, how comfortable people are with certain things in the microwave. Yes. Like how that's so trashy. Like, I wouldn't be cool with that, but then some people are so cool with that. And some people will, like, maybe leave a fork in there for a second.
Starting point is 00:44:56 Yeah, like, you got 30 seconds with the aluminum. You're fine. That's not true. Of course. I'm just saying. You should not microwave the store-bought casso directly in the glass jar. It's like a fucking sticky bomb. Oh, fuck the neighbor's house off.
Starting point is 00:45:16 That thing goes, too. It's like a daisy cutter. Fucking Moab. I'll never forget I guess it was the war in Iraq or whatever It's Afghanistan When they started pulling out that new shit Dude that Daisy cutter
Starting point is 00:45:31 They did a fucking They did a date line on that thing Did a 30 for 30 on that thing They were like It'll suck your asshole Clear out of your eyes sockets From 50 miles away I remember when these damn motherfuckers
Starting point is 00:45:44 Don't stand the chance out there Yeah We're sitting there My step That's like turn the whole place Into a parking lot Like god damn Damn guy.
Starting point is 00:45:54 I think the daisy cutters are your fucking reckoning ball. Yeah, that's, um... They had this new thing called the arm of God. You see that or the hammer of God? I think if you see, you don't want to talk about it. That's why I haven't heard. Yeah, they're just huge rods that they have in space that they just drop down. In space?
Starting point is 00:46:12 Yeah. They just press a button and they fall out? No, yeah. No, yeah. I don't think you know what you're talking about. I don't know. Yeah, they take them up there and then they sit up there in like a little holster. And then when they want to use them, they just drop it.
Starting point is 00:46:25 And it's all kinetic energy. It's a different thing. What is? Hammer of Gods. It's a portable electronic warfare system. So it just like it'll signal jam from space, it seems like. Sick. What's the other thing?
Starting point is 00:46:39 What would you say? I don't know. Hammer of God. Something. They drop rods from space. Type that. Just a bunch of dudes named Rod. Oh.
Starting point is 00:46:55 Rod's from God. Rod's from God. Is a theoretical military concept. I think you got it with a rod from God. A rod from Rod. All right. Quit screwing around. God damn it.
Starting point is 00:47:10 I can program to do here. All right. Let's see here. And we're back. This one's from Tootty still owes me money for the electrical work for the new. Dude, there's bugs on my computer screen. This is crazy. Oh, you got them.
Starting point is 00:47:25 Long time. Never have one read. Are you garbage if you. show up to a B-Y-O-B restaurant with a flying your phone and have Giuliani myself
Starting point is 00:47:38 Tands running Hey get the UNICEF cup with you Jesus Christ I felt him but I'm trying to concentrate to the ones on my screen this place stinks
Starting point is 00:47:49 that was like the moon landing Holy shit about a rod from God he'd probably know what the hell that was Holy shit The veins are popping out Man That thing's getting
Starting point is 00:48:04 Woo And we're back Shark cut that Shark take a bite out of that Shark Chomp that out of the timeline Dude This is crazy
Starting point is 00:48:28 I feel like I'm in my backyard With the pool again Fucking back at summer camp We got a little bug juice You gotta fucking bomb this place Fruit flies, huh? That time of year? That Chipotle fries if I'm
Starting point is 00:48:44 If I'm being honest with it Chipotle fries on it's not bad All right, let's see this one Some Toadie still owes me money For the electrical work on the new it dish Okay Long time, never have one read Are you garbs if you show up to the BYUob restaurant
Starting point is 00:48:57 With a bottle of wine Still on the brown paper bag That they gave it to you at the liquor store in No, not at all Not at all No Not at all I don't
Starting point is 00:49:07 You take it out To look like a gentleman So yeah So if I was just saying And what you're saying If you look like a gentleman With a not in there Then it has to be more
Starting point is 00:49:15 On a scale of gentlemen To trashy It leans I'd say it's an 8 and a 10 You know what I mean Or one and three What? Huh
Starting point is 00:49:23 It's close Not that big of a deal It's not rolled up Like you're a fucking hobo With a train track I know But those brown paper bags They're not bad
Starting point is 00:49:31 At the at the Look They're nice. They almost look like baguettes. Yes, but if you hold it like this. But the problem, I think, the problem is you hold it by the thing. Get, that bag doesn't last that long. And it comes in looking like you got a fucking quarter of O-E in there.
Starting point is 00:49:48 Yeah, I like the nice thin liquor store bags with the little stripes on them. What's that? You never seen that? They're nice little bags. They're like little, they're plastic bags, but they're thin. Are they, they give them to you for free? Yeah, give me for free if you buy some. some liquor.
Starting point is 00:50:03 I think you're buying some fucking product. They let you wet your beak on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're nice. They're like single, single slates, slats, asleep. I'm not sure I know what you're talking about. Yeah, you just keep saying. Rod some gods. Yeah, I don't, I don't have much experience with BYOB.
Starting point is 00:50:22 They were big in Philly, but I never would go. I remember I went one time with Pat, his brother. Oh, man, I think I was fifth wheeled it. That just hit me. That's a tough look. I was probably dating Nadine, but she was in Germany. Sure. And we were day drinking, and I brought a six pack of beers, which I feel is okay.
Starting point is 00:50:44 Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah. No, right. To the fucking Airbnb, what's called? B-Y-O-O-B? Uh-huh. Yeah, that's supposed to bring beers.
Starting point is 00:50:56 That's you cool them down. You give them to the guy? I think we put them in a, like a wine bucket. That's not bad. We had a cooler one time The first time we went to that taste of it Or from the boot At a suburban spot
Starting point is 00:51:08 Like you can do the cool Like was it the nice cooler Like the BW? No it was like a fucking igloo cooler Yeah it was her at wheels It had we've rolled it in Huh See if you can get like BYOB etiquette
Starting point is 00:51:20 So I don't Are BYBOB is everywhere I know we've talked about this before No I don't think they're everywhere There are places you can bring your own BOT It was always bring your own It states and cities
Starting point is 00:51:31 that have strict liquor license laws. It kind of changed, though, with COVID. Like, I think that kind of swapped a lot of things. That makes it. Even in the city, there were a couple of spots doing B.YOB. Yeah. Yeah, because New York's not really a BYUB. No.
Starting point is 00:51:46 No. But I went one time to a place next to Four Street. I have a fly in my hair. It's just killing me. I'd be a spider. The place on Four Street next to New York Comedy Club, a little bit out there. It's the tiny little spot, little Italian spot.
Starting point is 00:52:01 Well, yeah. It has like five tables or whatever. Me and Adine went there and I sat down. I was like, I'll do a fucking, you know, an IPA or something. Because I also just recently started drinking wine. And by I started drinking wine, meaning I'll drink wine. You know, but I would go anywhere. I'd always order beers.
Starting point is 00:52:21 Beers in Italian food. Yeah, that's all I know. Talk about heartburn. Well, I never saw my dad drink wine. neither did I Not until much later in life I don't I've never seen my dad drink a glass of wine So wine to me was for ladies
Starting point is 00:52:36 Yeah And swinger An Italian men Yeah Had odd relationships with their mothers You drink it out of a juice glass Some homemade hooch No men in my life drank wine
Starting point is 00:52:50 My stepdad later Started drinking white Zinfandel That was later though I think that was the Sure I don't know what that Complicated reason But I think he would
Starting point is 00:53:05 Yeah, so I didn't There was no And then like my brother would be like Yeah I'll do a bottle of red I want to be like Who the fuck is this guy? You know like as I'd be 20 He's 25
Starting point is 00:53:15 And he'd like yeah We'll do a bottle of so and so And I want to be like I don't tell bad about this Is a date? Yeah He's trying to fuck me dude Yeah, I even I like
Starting point is 00:53:31 They would go like when clubbing was cool They would go I would just I would get beers Sure Let me get a six pack They bring like a six pack Coors Light or whatever That's what I would do Uh huh And just wait for the pussy to roll in
Starting point is 00:53:45 What's up? My brother drinks wine You believe that shit Not me They got Coors light Aluminum bottles The worst That was a lot
Starting point is 00:54:02 Sorry I felt it on my teeth It makes my blood run cold That rim A couple Dues and don'ts Of the BYU at a restaurant Don't duplicate they say
Starting point is 00:54:16 So never bring a brand or label That's already on the menu But that's kind of Move point Yeah They say match the venue So bring a nice bottle If it's a nicer spot
Starting point is 00:54:25 cheaper box drinks just fine to a lower class establishment. Now we're talking. Bring enough to share. What's that mean? With the table's next to me? He's fucking fucking looted. You get your own course light.
Starting point is 00:54:42 Now for the table. Don't bring a single beer. Yeah. Duh. Who the fuck's going to drink one beer in dinner? What am I a dickhead? Huh? Why are you going out to dinner? or if you're only going to drink one beer? I also say let the staff handle it.
Starting point is 00:55:01 Huh. But I've been to a couple, and I've never really... I got them count it. There's six in there. Maybe seven. Can you put these in the safe place? I don't want anybody stealing my pounders. I got them here.
Starting point is 00:55:25 That's premium malt liquor right there. I'll tell you that. Uh, God. Okay. Yeah, I don't, uh, I don't fuck with them, really at all. I don't know. It's just so not my. And I don't know how to pick out wine.
Starting point is 00:55:48 I do, the few times I do, I do like a 15, 1499 bottle living there. I'm not buying wine for anybody ever. I'll buy it to have some people Oh, here's a bottle of red Yeah That's good, 15, 12 bucks, whatever I like those What's the one with the
Starting point is 00:56:06 Kangaroo? Yellowtail? Yellow tail? You do? I do. Those magnums? Yeah, the magnum What, red or white?
Starting point is 00:56:17 The blue, the red. The blue one? The red? The blue red, what is it? A Merlot? It's a blend. I love for Merlot. It's fucking swivel.
Starting point is 00:56:26 It's a cab or something. I got a fish. Damn. When the pandemic started, I was doing a magnum bottle a night. Nice. It's good for you. Six years ago. You still holding on to it?
Starting point is 00:56:43 They ran over to, you know. They got the big, bold red, the sweet red rue, the jammy red rue, or the Shiraz. Chiraz. Chiraz, my pants. To drink in a bottle of that. Jason Chiraz. You're drinking the Cabernet Merleau. That's a tough look right there, whatever that is.
Starting point is 00:57:13 What's the blue label one? Okay, what's the purple? Cabernet punch. I think it's really purple, but I said blue to sound more. That's the Shiraz Cabernet. Fuck. I'm a bitch. God damn.
Starting point is 00:57:34 Man. I think my dad stopped talking to me. There you go. Oh, that's funny as shit. Well, that's why I don't, that's why I do Coors Lights or garage beers. That's why I do right American beers. That's why I do that. What I'm out in the bell.
Starting point is 00:57:55 Okay. This one's from Stinkpot McRewan. Hello. $10 homie here, never have one read. Is it garbage to punt the football after it was thrown to you? I know exactly what you're talking about. It's such a dickhead move, but it fucking, you have to do it. Everybody did that move.
Starting point is 00:58:17 It's garbage to punt the football. It was thrown to you. God damn it, I always hated a kid that would just fucking punt it. It always went. It's such a fucking show-off dickhead move. Nobody ever kicked it, right? He said it always went flying in some crazy direction or over. offense
Starting point is 00:58:40 and it would mess up to flow of a good kid session I'd fucking my cousin Aiden and Michael man they were the king of that shit they're like 20 years younger than me or no they're in fucking they're in college
Starting point is 00:58:53 roughly so they're 30 years and when they were kids like now they're like you're also in college they would always do that shit when they were at kids because they couldn't throw it back for like as far as you were so they go to kick it
Starting point is 00:59:07 I'm fucking right in a Freight. Fucking brutal. That's fucking... Shout out to the boys. I love you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck that.
Starting point is 00:59:18 Try me nuts. That's fucking great. That's so funny, dude. That's the perfect way to say that to pun it after you're throwing. Always hated the kid that would just fucking punter. Oh, man, that's a fucking scorcher. Who did that? Who was named?
Starting point is 00:59:39 Stinkpot McRewan Oh dude my head hurts from that That's so good I can picture myself Doing it in this kid Zach's backyard I think You're fat-ass fucking whiffing on it He g-g-g-g-ging
Starting point is 00:59:53 Some fucking deflated ball Oh god I heard some guys On the beach And this kid was having He was probably 12 He was old enough to throw a football And he was
Starting point is 01:00:08 the other kid was making fun of him I was like my bad dude I'm not used to throwing a phone football and I was like Testa Verdi Yeah He Vince Papali zip it You're used to handling a small dick though aren't you He was one of those 12 year olds that had glasses
Starting point is 01:00:32 In a mustache and you're like Yeah something ain't right here did you Yeah the hormones are fucking zigzagging Definitely had a fucking soldering rod in his basement I don't know, a weird shit what do you do with him?
Starting point is 01:00:50 I don't know, a weird computer shit. Is that why he can't throw the little pole? No, that's why he's got the mustache and the glasses because he's in that shit. He's soldering stuff down here in a basement. It's like a kid with a glue gun. Never trust him.
Starting point is 01:01:12 But it's all politics. They don't want to rod from God. All right. We got to wrap it up, gang. Gang, I'm going to tell you right now. We've got that new AIG special dropping pretty soon. Yeah, it's coming out September 13th.
Starting point is 01:01:27 If you're an audio listener or video watcher on the old Spotify, open up, do us a favor, open up YouTube, and subscribe to the page so we can get. Buddy, this is a grassroots movement. Full AIG special. are you garbage. We did it down there and side spliters at Tampa over the weekend. Very, very fun. Very, very cool. Yeah, we invested a lot of money into it and we want to put it out directly to you guys and make it grow as big as possible. So help out the motherfucker. New tour coming soon as well. To be out right now. We don't even know. We're trying to figure it all out. But thanks
Starting point is 01:02:03 for all the support. We fucking love you. And we'll see you next week. See you in three days. Peace.

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