Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Bring your Own Ranch w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: January 26, 2023

Are You Garbage is back with a Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! NYC! Get Tickets to the Gramercy Show, Access Code: GARBAGE https://www.livenation.com/event/k7vGF99hSu4jM/are-you-garbage-podcast Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ Butcher Box: https://www.ButcherBox.com/AYG Promo Code: AYG Displate: https://www.displate.com Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

New York City, baby! Listen up and listen good! The tickets for the third show at the Grammysy Theater are going fast. There are a couple of tickets left. Do yourself a favor and grab them before they're gone! Yeah, time is running out, gang. Very limited tickets left to the show on February 3rd, Friday night. Get them while supplies last. We'll see you there.

We're gonna blow the roof off the place. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage. Hey yeet! That little show we sit down with your favorite comedians

and we find that they're good to be classy. Yeah. Those are just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host H. Foley coming at you on a beautiful day, a rainy day. We're down here in Antutti's basement. She's upstairs. Got a nice dinner waiting for us.

Okay. She's gonna put on a movie, cleaned up the house real good. Yeah. Man, she's all smoked up up there. She's chief. Places of mess. What are you talking about? Yeah.

I think she's stealing my change. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. Here's what we call the good old-fashioned family episode, gang. Just the boys, just the squad, just the homies, just the bozos. He's my best pal in the whole wide world. Okay. Thank you. Kevin James, Ryan, everybody.

Hey, gang. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you're right when you subscribe on iTunes. That'd be nice. Full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are. Shredder up. Cooking. Cooking.

Obviously. Still subscribed, though. Of course. I mean, we need every week. You could always be cooking a little more. I could always fucking turn the heat up a bit over there on the old YouTube. And then, obviously, the greatest gosh darn website of all time,

www.patreon.com slash rugarbage. You sign up over there. And I just did the math today. I was over there peeking at that greatest website of all time. I got to check in on her. Make sure the servers don't go down. You know what I mean? 18 million hours of bonus content.

There's over 100 bonus episodes of AYG. Right. There's over 100 episodes of that gosh darn hard feelings as well. Which the kids love. There's about 11 or 12 just bonus videos. There are about 10, 12 minutes long of us on the road, the crib edition, the golf outing, I forgot we did, the limo ride.

Dave and Buster. Dave and Buster. $10,000 bet. I genuinely forgot about that till today. I didn't. It's tax time. Jam me up. Yeah, check it out, gang.

We appreciate all the love and support. And also, we announced our new goal at 8,500 patrons, which is coming in real fucking quick, by the way. We're going to the Indy 500. Yes, we are. We're doing all three days over there at Indy. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. It's going to be a good time.

It's a whole weekend. I'm debating a mullet. Definitely going to dress like the local. Have sex with your sister. That's a nice town. Mary, your cousin. I'm kidding. I can't wait.

And how about a nice quick shout out to our producer, X Short and Air, the magic man. Makes us all look good. He works those ones, works those twos, crosses those T's and dots those I's. But doesn't comb that hair. Give it up for T-Bone McMuffin. Toby McMullin, everybody.

Hey, pal. Hey, what's up, dudes? What up, T-Bane? I can't wait for the Indy 500, dude. I've already cut off all the sleeves on every shirt I own. Yeah, it's going to be a good time. We're going to go full native, dude. Never been to the track like that.

Also, I got to say, the powers that be, a homie knows somebody and knows somebody, who knows somebody. The Indy 500 reached out to me the other day. And I get to go in a car for two laps, not joking. And I get to take Poli spot because he can't fit. I get to do two laps around a track in a dual-seater Indy car, 180 miles an hour.

I want to be pulled in a little wagon or something. I'm going to be coming in that seat, dude. That rumble. Feel it in my bones. I am going to need waterproof pants. Oh, man. I'm going to be slipping out of my goddamn chair. You ever go?

I'm going to make a move on the driver. He better be ready. You ever go a buck 80? You ever get up to speed? A buck 80? What have you done? What's the most you've done? I smoked weed one that way.

What do you mean? The most I've done? I don't know. Probably 120. Fell off the garage. 120, 130 on a Yoldo bond. Really? Probably.

Wow. How I was in kilometers. I don't know. What was going on? Still in 3 million yen an hour. I don't know. Dude, I'm breaking a sound barrier. Nine Deutsch marks a minute.

I was in a car in Mexico. And I looked over. The guy was driving crazy. I looked over. He's going 190? Yes, dude. Still doing 380? What the fuck, man?

At six degrees outside, roasted hot. I can't do the math that good. I don't know. I was cooking. To the point where I was nervous. Driving. Which I would have guessed is it's over 100. I'll do 100 on a way home today.

I've done about it. Probably 120. I've done about a buck. Did a buck one time. Driving back from the shore. I was petrified. Yeah, because you're a lazy Susan behind the wheel. It was my brother.

It was my older brother. Every day is a Sunday drive with you. Jesus Christ. Falling asleep behind a wheel. Driving back from the shore. My older brother's buddy was driving. This is high school. Obviously don't fucking recommend it.

He had a couple in them. Drinking Gatorade and vodka. Cruisin' up the AC. Gotta stay hydrated, kids. Doing about a buck. I was shotgun. Shit in my pants. Finally, I stopped them.

And I was like, dude, you gotta stop this. You're freaking me the fuck out. Why weren't you just driving? Or you were also... I don't think I had a license. Jesus. Yeah. It's always tough when a kid does...

I mean, Toby, obviously. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's not like I was 25, dude. I was fucking 15. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. They were about 17.

Okay. I could have took the wheel. Yeah, why not? I was too busy making out with chicks. No, I wasn't. Yeah, I doubt it. Too busy fucking... Tucking your wiener up in your belt loop, probably.

It's funny you mentioned that because they all showed up. We were down at my buddy's parent's shore house. And it was off season. It was like March. And then the older kids rolled in. Couple of dudes, couple of honeys. And they were fucking... I mean, they were getting napswapping.

Yeah. Sleeping in the same room. Some boning going on. Doing a little... Doing a little peek peek. All right. Caught them also one time. You just sound like a creep, dude.

I don't know what to tell you. I was under a bed while they were going to town on each other. I did a sleepover at my house, and my brother had all of his boys over. They were playing strip poker up there. And we were down in that little thing so we could look right up. They used to be an accordion door.

You know, when you look downstairs into the cellar? Sure. There's not a lot of places to hide in that house, by the way. And you can see every corner from every angle. But there's some titties out there are. You got a lampshade on your head, standing in the corner, mushing your ween on the wall.

Good times. Good, good times. You were told days. You were talking before about... No, I wasn't. A teacher sending a letter home to your mom, asking her... To help me help your son.

Which got you jammed up. Oh, yeah. I think that flew within ease. I got pinched really hard. I might have mentioned this to you before, but when I was in fourth grade, I walked into my classroom and grabbed my crotch and went, hey, hey, you're doing one of those things.

Real high-brow humor back then, too, I see. What's up? I followed it up with some cello playing. And my teacher caught me and she freaked out. And she starts walking me down to the principal. And I don't know if we got jammed up on the time. She's like, if you do one more thing, I'm taking you down there. I'm like, oh my God, thank you so much.

Sure as shit. Like two hours later, we're fucking running in the hallway, jumping up off of like a trash can and putting our hands in the drop ceilings and knock them out. Good clean fun. Good clean fun. Get pinched, though. Yeah, I don't get it.

She's like, that's it. Took me to the principal's office, got in trouble. She's like, I'm calling your mom. Ba, ba, ba. Now, this is 80s Patty at the height of her paddiness. Oh, you like grabbing dicks, do you? Well, now you're going to grab every dick in your class. Why don't you grab my dick?

It's funny you mentioned that. She's probably smoking a three-foot heater, too. Coming correct. So they call home. I get home. She's like, what were you doing knocking out tiles? And I'm like, oh, thank God. Knocking out tiles, whatever.

All right, that's no big deal. Yeah, not grabbing your little fucking roof. No, so she yells at me for that. I'm getting screamed at, fucking dinner, homework, go upstairs. I'm naked in my bathroom, getting into the tub. And out of nowhere, she fucking Steven Seagal kicks the door open and grabs her crotch. She shoots it with a shotgun, blows the lock,

blows the lock off so she can get it, hits it with the buckshot, comes up to, ah, shit. You know, I'm surgical with this bitch, don't you, Hank? I just see a flashbang slowly rolling to the paddiness. It gets real quiet. She comes in, she grabs her crotch, and she goes, and whoever taught you this? Probably her.

I thought you were going to say she ran in and grabbed yours. Yeah, you like that? Dude, I couldn't get hard for about two years, man. Talk about vulnerable. I was naked getting in. I was covering my wiener as she came in. She's like, whoever taught you this? Man.

Dude, talk about a mom. That's wild. A mom grabbing her own fucking sneezes. She didn't like it. Patty didn't play. That's wild. Drugged my fat ass down to confession the next day. I remember I, one time, about third, fourth grade, something,

I told our gym teacher that his class blows. I had a real mouth on me back then. You called us a kickball, your piece of shit? Yeah, he made me. His name was Mr. Whitmer, and he. Good gym teacher name. He was, and he played the part, had the stash, had the whistle, the track pants, the matching coat,

like real early 90s, you know, leftover strong guy type stuff. We had Mr. Smith in middle school, and he was the closest thing to Mr. T that I'd ever met, and he was fucking awesome. Yeah. Had the lines, everything. Shirt tails in, shoes tied up, fucking catch and play. In school, stay, milk, do your drugs.

Yeah, catch a, catch a plane, grab ass, fucking latch on to you. Good man. But he would, he taught us to shoot a basketball like this, and they would call it the Whitmer W, and what's like, he just ruined my chances of going pro right there by teaching me the wrong fundamentals. And he would pull it, he would do that, he would sit there, and I'm like, this is.

All right, boys, I'm going to teach you how to be last in state, nine years running. Teach you how to be pick last, 101. Hope you boys like getting swirlies and nuggies, because you're going to be throwing underhand. Yeah, that, and he would, you would granny shoot it. If you couldn't pull off the Whitmer W, if your hands were too small or too sticky or whatever,

you would do the under the, and he goes, there ain't no shame in the granny shot. I'm like, buddy, it's not your ass getting kicked out of here. What are you talking about? I'd rather air ball, well, air ball a three than be at the foul line shooting granny shot. I don't know, there is no shame because those fuckers always go in, man.

When you underhand it, that's clean living right there. So I told him his class blows, and then he fucking, and right away he goes, what'd you say? I'm like, this is going to get back to my dad for sure. School wise, my mom took it, like grade wise, that was my mom's. If I was being a jerk off, which I tend to be,

that went to him. The old man got the call. Yeah, I don't make call your father, which sucks, he's got to come get me. So you were just waiting in fucking purgatory for three hours, so he came. Oh man, I'm coming home from work. I'm telling your dad, and you would hear him

on the other line, I'll be there at 730. Brutal. Fuck. Yeah. It sucked. And then you'd get in the car behind him so he couldn't reach him. You sit directly behind him so he can't fucking,

if you sit behind the passenger seat or in the front, he's got you with the right. But directly behind him, he fucking didn't have a piano wire, fucking take him out. He got to do mob moves to get away from your dad's wrath. That's a tough look. I did that too. I'll be in the trunk, slide back behind the seat.

I can use the cardio. I'm going to walk, all right? I'll meet you over there. I need to get my steps in. Fucking got knocked you lumped up. I remember years later I would look back and be like, man, that must have fucking working all day, fucking.

Then he gets a call around three, four o'clock from the missus, fucking. He's doing dead. He's grabbing his crotch. He's got to be like, what the fuck? Then he's got to drive home, fucking traffic coming. Doesn't even get to relax. First thing, she would rat me the fuck out

while I was standing right there. There'd be no eye contact, eye contact made. It looked like it was blowing over. That's how they always, they always rope it dope to you. All of a sudden. Not a quick wrath. You go, I might be free and clear. They might have forgot.

Wrong. And if you dodge that first backhand, it only gets worse from there. You got to take a dive. Yeah, you really did it. Say you scratch my corner here or something. I'll fall back a little bit. Oh man, you got to go down.

But I told him his class blows and then fucking, he got a, he told them, he told my music teacher and his chick was about, she had to be pushing 380. She was huge, dude. She wore Moomoo's every day. Huge, like big, big gal. We called her the white ball. And hindsight, you know, wasn't the best name.

But I mean, you put a 380 pound lady as your teacher to 10, 10 year olds. They're going to be snickering. I can't imagine what children think when they see me. I told you, I remember, I told you, there's two Chinese kids in Austin. Saw you, they were staring at you like you were a science experiment.

I told you, your, your, your thesis of defuse at the, at the funeral, as I came around after coming out of the line, they were standing like the little rascals looking at me like I was fucking Shrek. Thanks for your autograph. And less green in person. Yeah, nah, yeah, you can't do that. But she had, they called a meeting with all the,

they, we called them specials like gym, music, art, whatever they were like, the, you know, electives, electives, but at an elementary school. So they, you had one a day and dude, they had all those teachers and me and I had to sit down and like apologize to all of them on behalf of fucking this pussy who complained that I said his class blows. What the fuck?

But I was doing it and they were like, we're not going to tell your parents. I was like, my man, I am so sorry, you guys are great. I'm an asshole. See you later, Jack. Get right you out anyway. No, never made it to the, never made it to the rents. Free.

Yeah, which I dare, I respect their word. Sure. They did all right. Sure. Yeah. Not bad, not bad. But yeah, let's do a couple of garbage questions. So if I'm over there and I got damn Patreon.

A couple of cues, huh? Gang, as you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon there, get a question read on the air by Kevin James Ryan himself. Look at him. Hey, how are you? That's a fresh shirt too, by the way. I got a couple of these.

Get used to these. You're going to be seeing them a whole. Was that from the, the Soho shopping spree that I heard about a couple of Saturdays ago? This was. Really? What are you fitting into this stuff down there, huh? What do you mean?

I mean, you're a portly fella. Yeah, but I mean, it's. I mean, when you get down there, you got to be. But there's two different, you got to be Schultz type. No, there's two different down there's. It's like regular stores or like the cool. I don't go to the cool guy stores. No.

Catch me up. A fancy store for me would be a banana Republic. Yeah. It's all right in here. It make you feel real nice. Yeah, they do. But this is Kelly Slater's company. Nice.

I shred. No big deal. Hang 10. Huh. Yeah, do it all, baby. Proposer in a building. Two dollars. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Scat on grind. You look over. I got my nose done in white. What are you doing? This guy don't grind. Kelly Slater's a surfer, dude. Even better. Can grind on a surfboard.

You can't one guy. Yeah, you can. Catch the head of a whale or something like that. I would be a bunk. I will believe. Really? Shout out to a nose bong. All right, fair enough.

All right, let's get into it. We got a couple of home thingies here. This one's from Woody. Is it garbage if your dad takes your snorkeling in the local water parks, lazy river to find jewelry on the grates to pawn later? That's, I respect, that's like, magnificent in the early days.

I respect that. That's a lazy river, like a water park, right? Yeah, at the, yeah, he says, is it garbage if your dad takes your snorkeling in the local water parks, lazy river to find jewelry on the grates? Man, that's a good time. At first I thought scuba.

If I saw a scuba guy in the lazy river, I'd freak the fuck out. Figure he's fishing on a body, you would presume. Frog men? That's, as a kid, that's gotta be fun. Like my sense of adventure, I'd be like, dude, I got a job, this is great. We're going treasure hunting.

You're treasure hunting in a piss river. Hey, I got chlorine in there. You figure those dirt bag kids that worked there probably cleaned it out first. Yeah, but like how nice of jewelry is being worn in the lazy river? You never know. Not, I'm just, not that nice.

I would, no one's wearing a fucking Rolex in there. Find a nice engagement ring, rip the diamond out. To melt it down. Take that over to the guys there. To a local smelter, boil her down. Yeah, man, that's a tough look, that's trash. I wonder if he got anything juicy though. Yeah, I don't know.

Should've said. If you have a water park fence, you are a different type of dirt bag. What do you mean? Oh, a fence like. You're a moving merch, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's wild. You're the dirt bag that works at the water park,

you find some shit and you go to a guy and start moving it. Or like, yeah, we're, I mean, they would have to find it. Someone's going to get it. Somebody's coming back for it, right? Not necessarily. Really?

I mean, if I lost something in a water park, would you find this? It's like, who's my engagement ring or some earrings? I know, but like the chances of finding something in a, it could've fallen off on a slide, which ends up in the pool, which ends up at the bottom of that. You know what they say.

Bottom of shotgun falls. I don't know. Shout out to shotgun falls. Shout out to it. Gillian's water pier, fucking Ocean City, New Jersey. That's where I became a man. Walking up those steps, petrified. Yeah.

I mean, it was the back of the boardwalk, too. So you know, when you go up there and you look over where like the parking lot is, you can smell the hot ketchup. You just know that your brains would splatter all over the fucking pavement if you fell. I just did one when we were, when I was down in Florida with my family,

the like neighborhood that we stayed in, the Airbnb had like a, not a resort, but like a pool and they had water slides. Really? And it's like, we did the mats and you walk up there and it's like, I still get scared, dude. A staircase with nothing under it. And you can get a boom, man,

and it'll fucker up my butthole. I used to get scared looking down into the bleachers. Fucking no manly. No, that was all right. But dude, walking, it's like anything, if I fall, I just, I feel it in my butthole now. You know, you get that feeling in your belly button. Did you do the thing that jumps off into the water?

No, we just did the mats where you ride. And this thing was a little shoddy. I mean, like, I don't, yeah. You know, Osha wasn't there earlier that day, fucking, you know, checking off the safety list. This thing was, you know. Put your screws later. Yeah, it was no raging waters.

It was just like a pool that had these two crazy slides. Okay. They seemed way too big to be there. Not in, were they completely closed? Cause I don't fuck with those. I mean, I wouldn't get one now, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this one wasn't, but they did have a closed one

and a regular one. You feel that heat and the darkness? I like it. Fuck that. Kip, how about that butcher box? Butcher box. I got a freezer full of meat that'll choke effect. Oh man.

They just dropped heavy bike boxes on all three of us. Shout out to the boys and girls over there. Butcher box. Fresh ground turkey, fresh turkey breast, grass fed, grass finished beef. I got some steak tips. I got some this. I got some that.

I'm telling you, I'm stocked. And I just realized, we realized when we go to the grocery store, we don't gotta get any meat. Get vegetables, get this, get that. We're good for the month. Dude, I'm good for the apocalypse. They must've sent me two tree boxes. Guys, Butcher box takes the guesswork

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We're talking cold, hard cash. A dub right off your first box. Sign up at butcherbox.com slash AYG and use code AYG to get $20 off. Deal with baby, love that Butcher box. Kimmy, how about that display, baby? Displate! Top quality posters on one-of-a-kind metal you got there.

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when you click the link or use the code Garbage, baby. You know it, you love it. Use code Garbage when you visit Displate.com. That's Displate.com. Code Garbage or click the link in the show notes. Do it, and I'm back to that gosh darn show. All right, let's see here. This one's from Jeff, $10 homie.

Never had one read. Is it garbage to rent a car anytime you have to drive more than a couple hours to avoid any car troubles? I guess if your rig's not good enough to make it two tree hours back and forth, I get that, though. Better than getting jammed up. Yeah. Plus.

They got the, I'm sure it's some road save. If a budget rental car is on the side of the road, they're gonna go get it. 100%. You know what I mean? You don't gotta worry about it. You got some sort of a contingency, I would presume. But my Montego and the Lume,

every car I've had up until now, the Kia, shout out to her, the Forte. Each had times when I'm like, I don't go down the shore anymore. It doesn't drive back to, like when I had my Montego here, there was a time when I'm like, it doesn't go to Philly. It's just for scooting around. Sure.

Locally. You know what I mean? Like a golf cart. Yeah, exactly. Like a low, you know, low power vehicle or whatever, something. Run to the store. That's what I would use it for.

Like I would go to work when I was working outside the city, like 20 minutes, but I'm like, I don't trust it doing 65 on a parkway the whole way home. Not gonna do it. Or the turnpike. I'll give you that. Trashy, yes. But.

You gotta do what you gotta do. You know what I mean? What are you gonna do? But it's also like, if you rent a car, I don't know, rental cars in New York. Plus that feels like you're getting a new car. It's probably nicer than a car you got. Price feels real good.

Yeah. Getting out there on a high. Flipping something real nice. Yeah. I had a shitty, it wasn't shitty, but it got shitty. Honda Accord hatchback when I lived in Wilmington and I got into a fucking accident. Brought it over to Jeff Gordon Chevy.

They were fixing it. They gave me a fucking renter. It was a Pontiac fucking Grand Prix or something like that. When those dropped, they were, that was the car I wanted. Dude. Sick. A black one of those.

A grand damn or grand? Grand damn and grand peas. Grand Prix, they re-did them probably in 2000. Pontiac ain't still floating around, all right? 2001, probably they re-did them maybe. They came out hot. Really? Real cool.

Like re-did the bottle, they weren't boxy, they were rounded. Yeah. We had a, it was a Pontiac, I wanna say 6,000 or maybe it was a grand damn something. Burgundy. Two-seater. Yikes.

Couldn't tell my mom at that shit. Yeah. Two door. But we had a fucking crawl in the back. I hated that. That trap. We were just talking, my stepdad growing up had a Ford Ranger, a little guy.

And they had those jump seats in the back. Do you remember those? Yeah, we had them in the back of our truck too. I don't know, my mom was like, what do you thought we were telling her? And I'm like, yeah, we used to ride around in those. She's like, that's not safe. I'm like, I know, but what the fuck?

You were, she's like, I didn't know that. Nineties, baby. I'm fucking just cruising. I feel like a flight attendant when the fucking turbulence hits. Deadheadin' to school. I'm deadheadin' down on shore, baby. Yeah, that's wonky.

That's good stuff. This one's from Michael, first time long time. You ever get stopped driving into the car wash because your car has body damage and the guy doesn't want the risk of breaking his machine if he gets caught on your car? That's wild. No, I never had that.

But when I worked in a car wash, this fucking old lady pulled up in a minivan. And you know, you pull up, you let the thing catch and you put it in neutral. This fucking dumb broad fucking just drove through it and fucking, fuck jammed it up. And then got out like, what the hell's going on? I don't understand.

Fucking stupid bitch. I'll tell you what's going on. Jesus Christ, talk about holding the grudge, dude. Jesus Christ, poor old lady's probably dead. Cost me my weekend money. Kind of shut down for a couple of days. Well, a couple of walking around box share out. I used to operate, I mean, my cars have always been tough.

A 96 Chevy Lume and I had a, I want to say a 2004 Mercury Montego, but I got it probably 2012 or something like that. I was always at the point where 99% of the time I would have to clean my car to go get my car cleaned, if that makes sense. Cause it wasn't in shape to give to the guy to start vacuuming. And a lot of the times, all the shit, the trash,

whatever that was in my car just got thrown in my trunk and still does. And then we'll just be like bags of trash in my trunk. You do keep it pretty messy in the car. Yeah. You live in it, you really do. I just don't. You got the dog, I get it.

Yeah. And it's now it's like, I'm not in it. We get in it, we drive a half hour, we park it, we drive back a part of it and then I leave it for weeks. You know what I mean? I'm not in it. If I was in it every day, I would keep it tighter because I'm spending time in there.

Sure. But I don't use it that much, you know what I mean? Yeah. This one's from Pepperoni Tony. Shout out, that's a killer name by the way. New $10 Homie. Is it garbage if your parents? Is it garbage for your parents to let you play

on the showroom swing set and never actually buy one? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Man. Hey you poor bastard, that's a shame. Come take a ride on what you don't have. Yeah, that's like going to test drive a Porsche. That's all right. I'm thinking about bombing the market for one.

We did shit like that a lot, I felt. Like on a Saturday, we'd go and test drive a car. They had no intentions on buying. They'd go and look at a house just for shits and giggles. We'd do stuff like that. We'd go look at a fucking jungle gym or like a hot tub for a little while. They were real big on.

Kicking the tires. Yeah, stringing people along. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Hey, everybody get in the car. Let's go get some strangers' hopes up. I know, right? Literally.

Let's go jerk around a guy trying to make rent. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I remember we went down to my cousins for Easter and they had a piano and I was playing the piano and looking, it was nothing. But my mom thought I was the next fucking Johann Sebastian. And she was like, she's like he played chopsticks or something, he's perfectly, which I didn't.

I was just fucking banging it like a moron. And man, I remember we spent about two hours in this piano store. Walking on a Yamaha. Dude, my mom's stringing this fucking dude along for like a $3,000 fucking piano. No way it was ever going. My son's a prodigy, you know that?

Mitch, you can't smoke in here. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. He had me play and I was just like thomp thomp thomp thomp. That's one of those things that rich people do, I think is play the piano, right? Like that's like a rich person. Classy. Classy, not rich necessarily, classy.

You gotta have space for a piano, they ain't small. We have that one that plays itself. Sure, that was all right. Mix the couple of beats. And I'm pretty sure my stepdad like. You talking about the laboratory? What? Getting in the lab, fucking setting the.

Oh, the samba on the Casio? No, that wooden one that's in the intro to the show that you're sitting at. Oh, wait, oh, that's right. That's like a deadwood. Yeah. Yeah, I don't like that. That's like the thing where you shoot the BB

on the boardwalk and the guy starts playing. I never liked that. I never liked when that plate side, that's fucking. That was the coolest thing to me. That's haunted minor shit. He's got that off somebody, something. He didn't buy that. He got it like found it in like an auction

or a garage sale or something and ended up with it. And he was like, when he moved in, he brought a piano. We were like, oh, the fuck is this dude? Jesus Christ. He's a mayor man. You're a fat ass in there hiding snacks in it. Open it up. I just got a six or a fucking diet code.

It's a refrigerator. And you open it up. It's all lined with dry ice. Who put these Hawaiian rolls in here? Hey, get out of my head, stash, will you pal? My sister-in-law can play like, I literally like four notes of something. You know what I mean?

Cause you like took it as a kid. She can play like three notes of something just to put her to go, oh, that's that song type thing. And she did it one time. And I mean, my mom, you would have thought, my mom was like, everybody gather around. Lauren's going to play his song. Oh, our troubles are over.

Yeah, dude, it was, and she's like, I can't play. She just like knew like, you know, the intro to something. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Yeah, it was still Dre. I was on the sacks for a minute in elementary school. Got the sacks for a couple of weeks.

Ah, yeah, I never, I never did that. That dropped in about third grade. You could play the violin, the viola, the cello. Fresh shit too, brand new. Yeah, that was some sort of scam. Then Patty found out they were charging her every week. And like the music place was renting it. And they were getting-

That shit right out of my hands, that's nuts. I remember they gave us a recorder and I was like, dude, I'm not fucking touching this thing. They were like, it's eight bucks. I'm like, no. Fucking snakes following you around. Yeah, don't fuck with this dude. This shit is wack.

Give me something to fuck. Give me something with some distortion, will you? I was on the alto sacks, fucking Kenny G and it up. All that, I went to- Hey, is that the little one? No, that's the, that's just fun. Big guy, little sacks is a good time. No, I wasn't this fat in elementary school, Toby,

believe it or not. I was 800 pounds. It was the alto, it was the good one. Not the big one, not the little one. I could be wrong, maybe I'm pretty sure alto was the one I played. The regular sacks. I wanted to get, I wanted to shred so bad.

On a guitar? On a guitar. You got the bass right there. Is that still there? Yeah. So many people, I guess I said I'd sell it or something or best offer. I mean, dude, they were coming out of the woodwork.

First of all, half of them spelled bass wrong too, by the way. A lot of B-A-S-E's. I wet my beak on that, you moved that. What? I wet my beak on that. Hi, was it a gift? No, it was an unreceived gift. No, I received it.

It's on my side of the studio. Nine tenths of a law, what are you gonna do? I wanted to shred so bad and I took lessons at House of Guitar in Feasterville, Pennsylvania, man. And it was like walking into 1972. Bearded curtain and shit you had to get. I remember my dad was like, dude, I'm never going back in now.

I'll just drop you off and pick you up. Drop you off and pick you up out front. This dude had a fro and he was mad weird. I just wanted to shred and he taught me Barney in my first day. What's Barney? The song? The theme song, the Barney, was what he taught me.

That dude was trying to fuck. I was like, fuck dude, I can't fucking, I can't go into school and fucking shred this. Give me something to rock. I'm trying to melt some fucking faces over here. You put the distortion on it high enough. It's that little song. I played in the Star Spangled Banner,

it was my interpretation of it. The other dude I had near his name was Jay. And Jay was like real leftover from the 80s. Like fucking long hand metal. His band name was Metal Wolf. I think they're still banging. Those guys were kind of cool. They looked at their parents.

They always spelled like sigs. Uh-huh, he wore a fanny pack. Really? He wore sweatpants and a fanny pack and a bulge that was just fucking. He was hanging dung. No on these, just me and him in like a closet and his fucking, his little division signs showing.

Yeah. I remember just being like, dude, this is too weird, man. He taught me bass, I think at that point. They were like being in confessionals of those things. Oh, so sweet. The little rooms in the back. You couldn't turn the bait. We both had to be like long ways with it

because you couldn't. It was literally like a fucking closet. That was D. Felice Music for me. Hey little dude, I know you want to learn guitar, but I need a bassist, so. So you're going to learn bass? Cause we're going on tour in February. Is your mom cool or what?

Can we use her van, dude? I know you got a ranger. For, you guys won't remember this, but for a long time in New York city, you would always see flyers for this guitar coach named Dan Smith. Yeah, Dan Smith will teach you guitar. Dan Smith will teach you guitar.

I fucking went and took lessons with him for a few months, couple months maybe. Okay. Dude, he was fucking awesome. One of the coolest guys I ever met. Really? Dude, in every act, like a guru, and he really helped, he really.

Huh? What? He said that kind of odd. Guru. He said it, okay. Guru. Guru. Guru.

You're a smart guy. You guys are guru. That's what I'm saying. Dude, but an actual great teacher, too, taught me about scales and this and then that and the blues scale. All right, I didn't make any jokes. I didn't make any jokes.

Piece of shit. I'd let it go. Ball one. He taught me about scales. He can't trust them. They all lie. I am big pentameter and how things translate from like piano to guitar and the notes

and like the one four, five progression and all this stuff. It was really, really great. Good teacher. There you go. Shout out to him if you're out there. Shout out, man. If you're out there, check out Metal Wolf.

They're actually kind of popping, dude. They got 71K views in a couple songs. Really? There you go. Damn. We play one? What's the name of a song? I don't want Jada coming with me.

Come and sue me. Motin. Down to the wire. There you go. It was real like heavy metal, you know, fucking, hair band, heavy metal shit. That dude, that was a very cozy time. I used to love those kids or like the older kids

that were like really in the metal and stuff like that. They weren't dickheads. They were always fucking the sweetest dudes. They were always cool as shit. Like if some bird that babysit us, like her boyfriend was a little older, maybe in a band, fucking, you know, he'd come over and hang out.

He was always fucking cool as shit. Oh, we never had that. What was it? Knocked the bottom out of her fucking while we were upstairs. Yeah, fucking taking her to Pete Town. What was the name of the guy who gave you the scumbag? Johnny Smith.

What? Johnny Smith? No, J, J-A-Y, I believe. Oh, I was singing J, because the guy who uploaded it was Johnny Smith. I thought it might be still. No, I think that's their web guy. Trying to get the fuck out.

Shout out to them. No, I think their web guy is the guy who uploaded the whole album, which is Lionthrosopher, like Anthrosopher. Metal culture is the dumbest shit of all. No, you're crazy. That's awesome, dude. Shout out to them.

Well, it's all like disabled cyclops and shit. That's what they get into, all right? Yeah, there it is, JB Jans. You and your new kids on the block or whatever you're listening to, punk. Tony, Tony, Tony, man, myself. Tony, Tony, Tony, the group. Tony, Tony, Tony was all right.

I'm talking shit about Tony, Tony, Tony. Cool when the gang was up there, too. All right, let's see here. This one's from Professor Spongeworthy. Is it garbage to intentionally? That's a Seinfeld cut. Yeah, is it garbage to intentionally not do your physical therapy

so you still look fucked up when you go to court for your workers' comp case? I'm gonna put the bomb on. Yeah, that's, I mean, hey. I guess if you could do it, it's a 10K limp. Don't recommend it. I don't recommend insurance fraud.

Obviously, that's bad. I would never recommend it. But is that technically fraud? I don't know. If he's seriously injured enough to have to take. Maybe he can't go to, maybe he can't get out of bed to go or something. Yeah, that's what it is.

Maybe his injury's preventing him. And also, too, they might do that so they could screw you on the settlement. Oh, well, you're getting better. Yeah, but that doesn't pain and suffering and time loss and all that kind of stuff. Then after you hit it really hard. I think we get a cash settlement,

see where we're at, you know what I mean? Yes. And then figure it out. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Be careful, there's no private eye outside taking pictures of you jumping on the trampoline

or whatever. My buddy did that for a couple summers. Yeah, you were saying. Yeah, fuckin' had to get his car tinted out and everything. He said it was brutal. Yeah. But it was fuckin' wild.

I was sittin' out with the binoculars, fuckin' just creepin'. A stakeout would seem fun, but for about two hours. Sure. A cup of coffee or two, a pack of heaters, you're having a good time.

A good sandwich, too. Yes, good sandwich. Like Gary Busey had in Point Break. Someone, but that guy's always, your partner always goes and comes back. I'm like, I got you a sandwich and a Coke. Bag of chips. Sandwich and a cup of coffee is all right.

I can't do that. Oh, I love that. Can I say something controversial? Please. I think the meatball sandwich is completely overrated. Man, this fuckin' don't like meatball subs, don't like fuckin' heavy metal. Keep an eye on fuckin' Putin over here, will ya?

I mean, they're good, they're really good. I rate bread. Okay. So who don't like a nice meat-beasy? You made me never had a, sometimes at the pizza place, they go too much with how they put it together. Then they put it in the pizza oven,

which kind of fucks it up. Yeah, no. But on a nice soft roll, fresh meatballs, if you slice them in half, little bit of mozzarella, some Parmesan, it ain't bad. My best one is Easter at my Aunt Patty's house, down the shore.

They got the meatballs goin' in a crock pot. You get those short little, like, you know, the little banger roll, like the little, like, half. Shout out to Corpoles, they make the best. That slice, you take two pieces of provolone, they've been sittin' there a little bit, they're sweatin' it out a little bit,

pop them in, then two meatballs, but maybe some grated parm if it's there. That's, I mean, you can't go crazy with the cheese, you can't cover it, you can't throw it back in the oven. They go to pizza place, they go crazy with the melted cheese. That's like, they make it like they've never had one, it's crazy. Yeah, I'm realizing now that they have only ever had

a Subway meatball sandwich. Man, I wouldn't kick that out of bed either, I ain't comin' to lie to you. That ain't a good meatball sandwich. Back in the day, it was okay. I'm not sayin' it's bad, but, I mean, come on, what are we talkin' about here? I'm gonna say somethin' even more controversial

that you guys are probably gonna give me shit for, but I'm looking to connect with you. What ain't too bad, like a stepdad, is a meatball hoagie, okay? You get the meatball hero, it's cut in half, as you're biting it, not on the whole thing, as you're biting it, a little hit of mayo. Fuckin' fantastic.

I know that's crossin' the fat line. I mean, that's just feelin' like, you know. He's a mayo guy, you're not a mayo guy. I do like mayo, just not to the point where I'm dippin' a sandwich in it. I mean, that's crazy. You're actin' like it's a jusauce or somethin'. Are you gettin' this at all?

Yeah, I can see that. Yeah, but I would also argue dippin' mayo on most hot sandwiches is probably pretty good. So like, you're not bein' like, I'll give you this. Pretty fuckin' awesome, but normally you wouldn't fuckin' mix Italian food, marinara sauce with mayo. Sure, I mean, you're like, it's just like two- Traditional think you would keep you away.

It's what I'm a forward thinker, I'm a renegator rebel. Sure, if that's how you wanna look at it. Okay, is that what you see yourself in your head? Sure. Okay, I'm just checkin'. The only guy in the room who can't fit into a race car. I don't know what that is. Maybe if we dip in some mayo,

we'll be able to get you in there. I don't do it anymore, I'm just sayin'. Whatever. Clean your room. Sure, sure, sure. This is in the same world. This is two kids in a trench coat. That's a good name.

That's a great name. Is it garbage or bring your own bottle of ranch to a restaurant with you? I had a girlfriend who would put a bottle in her purse because these places don't got good ranch. Okay. That's not my cup of tea. I always felt, for the most part,

I was a Hidden Valley man, obviously, Hidden Valley ranch. That's the best. Sure. But I always felt, for the most part, not these days. Cause these days, you know what they use? They use a lot of kens. And kens can kick fuckin' rocks. They're honey mustard blows.

But back in the day, I always felt like restaurant ranch was so much better than home ranch. Like the industrial, like the big five gallon bucket they would get. Like, do you remember? Probably some generic warehouse supplier type. I don't know if you guys are too young to remember this,

but the salad bars they used to have at places, whether it was Wendy's, Ponderosa, fuckin', or a local plate. Pizza Hut. They're fuckin' ranch dressing. With the spoon. It was thinner. And it was loaded with fuckin' herbs and spices. So good.

Now they're skimpin' on ya. Givin' ya a beat bag. Something, yeah, and it ain't the same. I saw a great video of a British guy trying sauces from all over the world, right? And he gets to America and he's like, oh, we're gonna try the American ranch sauce, which I've never had, seems disgusting,

talkin' so much shit about the ranch. It takes one bite and it's just like, oh, oh my goodness. You can't stop. It's like, yeah, welcome to America, buddy. Yeah. It's fuckin' fantastic. I don't.

I mean, rollin' anywhere with your own salad dressing. It's a tough look. That's a tough, for sure a tough look. But I respect it. I don't know. I don't know. If you're goin' to a place that you know where you know it's gonna require a lot of ranch

and you know their ranch is beat, more power to ya. I don't know. You recommend a booth? You sit closest to the wall, slide that out, squirt it on a plate, put it away. That's so trash. That's. That's trashy.

It's the- Sneaking anything in anywhere, unless it's beers, is trashy. All right? Toby, hit me. Or sick. Beers are allowed to be snuck in because they're charged to premium.

If you go in- No, you can't sneak beers into a fuckin' restaurant, sit down like- That's a little different. I'm talkin' about, I mean, sure. That's a dirtbag booth. I have done that though. I used to have a buddy that would go around everywhere

with a backpack and he had a fuckin' handle, a fuckin' Captain Morgan's in it and he would just get a coke and save cash. Yeah, that's pretty good. I don't mind that. I don't, I was sneakin' stuff in as, I don't know. I was big on it. I'm not big on it.

A pint of Dimitri Vodka in the breast pocket. In case I needed to stop a bullet. Yeah, I get that. Real class act. Yeah, sneakin' booze is all right. Sneakin' ranch, it just feels like, I don't know, then get somethin' else that you don't need ranch.

That's where I would come from. I think they come from a world where everything needs ranch. And I'm with them. When was the last time you had ranch? Me? Either of ya. I had Halal Guy's White Sauce,

which I think is just ranch or real close to it. Maybe a couple weeks ago. Phenomenal. Lots of chicky. Delicious. It's real close to ranch. Doesn't have a lot of tahini in it, which a traditional White Sauce would probably have.

All right, this one's in the same world. This is from David. Is it garbage if your family uses Chick-fil-A sauce as salad dressing? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I don't hate it, man. I don't hate it. Shh.

What is salad dressing these days? What is salad dressing? That's not Chick-fil-A sauce. That's not true. What is salad dressing? I would argue it is. What is dipping sauce? What is a remulon?

What is mayonnaise? What is this? It's all, it's 2023, baby. It's all non-binary. No. You just named all these things that are things. What's a sauce? That's a sauce.

What's a salad dressing? You could use- That's a salad dressing. What's mayo? That's mayo. No, you could use ranch as a dipping sauce or a salad dressing. Those sauces that Chick-fil-A could be used as a salad.

I feel like it's too thick. You had a little wort or a little mayo or a little olive oil. I don't know. My favorite salad dressing, my dad used to make it, was ketchup, Worcestershire sauce, mayonnaise, and Parmesan cheese. But I'll give you that because that's a concoction of stuff. It was his version of like Russian dressing.

I understand that. So good. That's a concoction of stuff. That's not just something- A bunch of black olives in there. That you dip French fries in, put it on your salad. That's, that to me is like- You could dip your fries in that.

What? That's the exact concoction that I told you about. I know, but he's making it. This is pre-made for things to be dipped in, for French fries to be dipped into, or put on a sandwich. Is honey mustard a salad dressing? I would say no.

Chick-fil-A sauce is a mixture of honey mustard, barbecue, and ranch. The Holy Trinity, dude. Oh, yeah. That ain't salad dressing, dude. I'm sorry. It's good. It's fantastic.

Those are all things that could be in the salad. You can't put barbecue sauce on a salad. You couldn't use barbecue. I'm sure there's barbecue sauce salad dressing. Give it a Google. Yeah, but a barbecue sauce, out of a barbecue sauce salad dressing, are two different formulas.

You see what I'm saying? No. One's dressing up. I disagree. You find it? I'm not saying you can't physically put barbecue sauce in a salad. What about Catalina? That's basically barbecue sauce.

Or French. Are you a French dressing guy? No, this is America. I used to lap that up like milk. Oh, love French. Anything that was named after another country. I didn't fuck with French and blue cheese. I'd mix them together.

Like a real fatty. This is embarrassing to admit, but during the Nate Mack episode, when he said he'd never been to Chick-fil-A, he said Chick-fil-A, all Canadian. And I realized in that moment that it was Chick-fil-A. Like it's a play on F-I-L-L-E-T, a filet. Whoa.

Never put it together. Like a filet of chicken. Correct. You didn't know that? What did you think the filet was for? I just thought it was nonsense words. Really? I just never thought about it.

Yeah, Chick-fil-A. Filet of chicken. Yeah, I'm an idiot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we don't. Okay. They don't do regular chicken there. Do they?

Do they do drumsticks and shit? No, no, no, no, no. It's just the sandwich. Just the sandwiches, yeah. It's just filets. It's just filets. It's just a white meat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. All right, this one's from Lucas. Have you or anyone you know swam while wearing denim? Sure. Really? Fuck yeah. For what? Jeanshorts.

In the pool? Dude, there was a summer. The summer going into my junior year of high school, I wore one pair of cut-off shorts the entire summer and only ever had shoes on when I was landscaping. The rest of the time I was barefoot and in fucking cut-off shorts and some kind of fucking worn T

that I got from like one of my brother or from my brother or one of his friends. I passed down from like a soccer tournament or something. Those were the best T-shirts. Dude, we used to go in. Something invitational or something. Those T-shirts were all right. That's the older brother or cousin wore

for like three summers. Maybe have like a rip here. A little ratted because the collars were a little thick too. Dude, talk about fucking. I know. I get laid. I stole a pair of cargo shorts off my brother's boy.

They were fucking camo cargo and they were like real beat in. The perfect amount of what? Dude. They were at that. I saw them and then he left them at the crib. I was like, dude, these are now fucking ganked. Yeah.

Yeah. One of my brother's boys was so cool as kid Keith Cody. Shout out to him. He used to fucking, he was like something out of a movie. He was gorgeous. What fucking lacrosse was huge. Fucking mesh shorts, boxers sticking out.

A cool fucking T-shirt. Man, I got a couple of his T's. Woo! Wee! I feel like a million bucks. Yeah, it's all right. Throwing my pukin necklace on. Shark watch.

Pukin necklace. Tough luck. That's bad. I did hemp necklaces. When I was about 12 probably. I was young. I was making them too. Just pussy repellent, dude.

Oh man. Maybe I was 10. I was young. To the point where like I didn't know what it was. And this kid moved from California and like showed us hemp. And we were like, what the fuck? You fucking hippie. Let's rock, dude.

Throw a bead in that thing and let's go. Yeah. What a third bag. Uh-huh. I am what I am. Make it necklace. This is from the Tika Marsala. Is it garbage to keep your plates in a drawer

instead of the cabinet? Yeah. That's not good. No. Then what's in the cabinet? That's nuts. Put the lunch meat in the cabinet. I mean, I get it kind of does make sense a little bit.

You probably stack four in there perfectly. It's weird. It's not right. It's weird. This is a set of plates in my cabinets right now that are too big. So the door doesn't close all the way. So it could be that kind of situation.

How big are these plates? They're big plates. Jesus Christ. This is Debo. That's, yeah. Are you plating anything over there? You got your factors now. Oh, they've been getting jacked.

Really? I had my first one today. Shout out to the shredded chicken taco bowl. Hachi machi from a good garbage game. Good stuff. Boys, I found the guy who's been stealing my factor meals. Are you kidding me? He shredded.

He's down 30 pounds. His skin looks amazing. Yeah, I shook him down. You did. What did you say? So it's the second week in a row. My box went missing. Wait, really?

Yes. Second week in a row. Oh yeah. So I go out, I'm looking all over the building, I look in the basement, I look out front. I can't find this. And out front, they're throwing out the recycling. And there's a bag that I don't use

with a factor box like I get and then a smaller one in there. So I look, it's a clear bag. I can see my factor box. I can see the address for the other box. Look at you, dude. Mine wasn't, and I always break mine down. It was my name on the box.

The box wasn't broken down. So I went and had a little chat with Danny in A1. You did? Fuck you, Danny. Fucking Colombo. I like it. Dog, eh, what more you say? I knock on the door, no answer.

I call the super. I'm like, yo, someone's been stealing my packages. I need the security cam footage from the lobby. Who are you? This is wild. Fucking taken. Fucking no prisoners. That's what he's doing.

Well, get this. After I'm calling him in the lobby and I'm about to go back upstairs and I go, I'm like, dude, fuck this. I know this guy's home. I walk back over to the door. I lean, I hear him in there. So I fucking knock on the door and I go,

Danny, I know you're in there. Get out of here, dude. I'm probably making a sensible lunch right now. Man. Better have all your facts straight. Oh yeah. I did. The guy was super nervous,

but also I'm like, he's got a crazy guy at his doors. He's probably high and you're yelling at him. So I go, hey, bro, you get factor meals. He's like, yeah, I'm like, I think you got mine, dude. And he goes, oh, my partner is much older. He doesn't know what's going on. Yeah, fucking bullshit. Right.

So where's the other box for him? That's what I said. I said, well, if you have, they came today, you have the box in there. We can just see if you would got my box. And he goes, ah, no, I already threw it out. Real shady. And I go, all right, you have Venmo?

And he goes, yeah, I go, all right, hit me with the fucking cash, bro. Damn. Fucking Venmo me on the spot right then and there. Really? Shook him down. That's complete. That's admission to guilt.

Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. Look at you. Little shakedown in the building, dude. Could you give him a little and don't let this happen again. No, after, after I knew he was going to pay me back, I was like, oh, who gives a shit?

I was like, I was like, real cool. I was like, yeah, no, it happens all good. Wow. But you, this was all, you were speaking in, oh yeah, of course I understand. Everybody knew what was going on. Oh yeah. Yeah, he knew he got got and Toby did the right thing

of not really like. What a fucking piece of shit. Two weeks in a row, you're stealing from your fucking neighbor? Do you think he does get it and just messed up? Like there was some sort of mix up, or you think he's just stealing it? I, hold on, let me ask you this.

You've never seen other factor boxes anywhere in the building, correct? Of course not. But then also he would have two back boxes of factors. Yeah. They both got delivered that day. Correct. But you don't know if he was on your same delivery schedule.

No, they show up at the same time. Factors going to set, they have a messenger service, man, factors really getting the fucking plugs on this one. They better be paying triple. So they, wow. He would have had the one of the boxes in there. Oh, without question. So he doesn't get factor, which he should

using promo code garbage. You should tell them, hey man, you like what you're having, I can save you 30%. No, no, no, they do get, they do get factors. The person does. Yes. And they were just grabbing mine along with theirs. Doubling up.

Whoa. You know you doubled up. Everybody looks at the fucking label. Hey, this is for Toby McMullen. That's like about 30 meals or whatever. Yeah, it's a lot. Fucking piece of shit. Damn, look at that.

Man, and fucking tried to fucking, it was delivered that day. Oh yeah. So he knew who was knocking on the door. Oh yeah. It was either you or the fucking cops. And he knew not to answer the fucking door. Probably smell the zoodles coming from the kitchen.

Piece of shit. Man. I know how to chop a zucchini through that factor. That fucking really bothers me. Cause I hate that fucking stealing packages shit. Of course. Hate it. Yeah.

That felt awesome. That girl breaks my balls or whatever. Not now, but at the old apartment, man. Hey, what you guys doing? I'm just fucking hit up Amazon. I'll send you another one. Yeah. I don't lose too much sleepover because it's like.

It's the principle of it. And it's, let me tell you something. It's always an inside job. Not in the burbs, but nine times out of 10, if you live in a fucking building, it's some fucking scumbag in your building. It's not some high school kid who's walking by. Some of them get to the building.

No, a lot of times it is. It's a fucking inside job. Nah. Yes. Toby? Yeah, that's why you can't use that as the rule for everything. There's constantly footage of people sneaking into buildings

and stealing shit. You know, it's great when they booby-trapped them. What do you mean? The one guy that shit in his pants. Oh yeah. One dude put like an M80 or something and he rigged something. And this dude came up and fucking grabbed his shit.

Fuck you. Oh my God, fucking falls into the grass shit this man. One of my favorite videos is the guy. The girl running away that breaks her ankle. No, the guy reaches through. Oh, with the bat? Yeah, he's reaching through the mail slot to unlock the fucking door.

And there's just this dude with a metal bat. That's a sound from Tom and Jerry. The bang, ah, that's, that's, I don't even, I'm not even, just not, not even the audio. The act of seeing that bat crush that dude's arm is crazy. It's like a little bat too.

Yeah, it's a little fucking stinger. It's like this long. It's like somebody hit a fish with. And he saw the seal. Dude, and he saw his guys were, and he takes his time and lets the arm get in there and fucking comes down heavy bike. I'm about that shit.

Yeah. Fucking scumbag fucking mood. Yeah, but we got to wrap her up here, gang. Gang, I'm going to tell you this. We love you. We love yous. And we'll see you next week. Peace. Peace.