Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

Episode Date: January 20, 2025

Are You Garbage is back with Stravos Halkias talkin' Business Lunches, Mashed Potatoes and Multi-level Marketing Schemes! You Know Stavros from Stand Up Comedy, Stavvys World, This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von, The Joe Rogan Experience, Kill Tony, Bad Friends, Pardon My Take, 2 Bears 1 Cave, The Tim Dillon Show and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Tour Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Bombas: Head over to https://Bombas.com/AYG and use code AYG for 20% off your first purchase Lucy Goods: http://lucy.co/garbage Shopify: Go to https://shopify.com/garbage to start selling with Shopify today. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey there gang, do you want to come to an RU Garbage live show and ask your question? Sure you do. Good news for you, back on the block, tour tickets are on sale. We're talking about a nice stand-up comedy show, plus we play AYG with the crowd, so grab the squad and come out and see Kippy and I. The big man ain't lying, in March we're starting back up on the road. We're going to Pontiac, Michigan, Indianapolis, Indiana, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Madison, Wisconsin, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Cleveland, Ohio, and Atlantic City. All tickets available at rugarbage.com.

We'll see you there. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out they're good to be classy.

Yeah. But they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash trash trash I'm your host a truly coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in the new edition She's down in the basement stuck in the dryer Get why the gettings good That's a my good friend goose over there on the patreon my co's is coming at you from right next to me He is the CEO of are you garbage? He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world and I love him give it up for KJ

Kevin James Ryan everybody. Hey, what up gang? Thanks for tuning in as always. He's been sure you review subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube and now full video value Available on Spotify over there the kids got in over there on Spotify still waiting on a check by the way time In the way But obviously the greatest website of all time I gotta tell nobody this room WWW.patreon.com slash are you garbage you go over there get all that bonus content. Yes, sir. You do Thank you so much kippy and gang we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly and I mean incredibly Thank you so much, Kippy. And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today. He is one of the funniest, one of the hardest working men in show business.

He's got a movie. Let's start a cult out. One of the stars attires over there on Netflix. You can hear him every week in his amazing podcast, Stavis World. And he's about to kick off the dream boat tour. We 21st Sacramento California that's right the hard rock live give it up for the Greek God of Baltimore Stavros just of Baltimore very narrow jurisdiction it's a niche it's a man I was banished from Mount Olympus they're like we don't want you in Greece here's a small struggling mid-Atlantic city. Take your lightning bolt and beat it. That's your domain.

I made a move on Aphrodite. Pissed a couple of people off. Buddy, how you feeling? Good, man. Thanks for having me, boys. Thank you. Last minute, you know, we were just texting yesterday. I pulled up.

A couple of girls chatting back and forth. That's awesome. Yeah, yeah. It's got a little day date going. It was great. I love it. I wanted to, I got it, I wanna promote the tour, the Dreamboat Tour, I'm hitting the road. I pretty much took all of last year off. And so, yeah, I was like, let's hop in the fuckin',

let's get in the basement, baby. Get the boys back together. Let's get the boys back together, let's see what. Let's talk recipes. And hop in the, yeah. What chain restaurant French onion soup pasta have you seen it have you heard about it cuz it looks pretty goddamn good Like we were gonna tackle the big topics that I wanted to get back with the brain trust

And really talk about topic you gotta figure out this southern border thing. Oh yeah. Speaking of which, let's talk burritos. Yeah, exactly. You got the bus for the tour. I'm going bus. That's fucking awesome. I'm excited for that. Yeah, it is like, it is basically, like you guys were saying, it's like summer camp. It's a, it's a, I mean it's a bad- A very expensive summer camp.

Oh yeah, I mean, it's so, it's sad what culture has deteriorated to, where guys like you and me can afford tour buses. But we'll take it, you know what I mean? Hectra Journey and Metallica. It really is pathetic, you know, that it's like, you know, like even the theaters, I feel like, why am I here? This should be like an off, like they have opera in the same places.

Sure. And then we're up there talking about mashed potatoes or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just a David Mamet play here last week. So 100%. So, but I'm going to keep, until society catches up with the mistakes they've made, until we've reckoned with how bankrupt we are culturally, I'm going to take full advantage of it. And you know, this is a running theme obviously in terms of the subtext of your podcast and my life

is like struggling with being fat as shit, I think. I don't think you've seen the show, stop. Yeah. Are you sure you're talking about this show? I respect this because you guys take other, I'm all food and you guys have the whole trash, you know what I mean? Sure.

We've had other aspects of life. Other environmental, but it all comes down to poor health. Of course. You know, like, you know, it all feeds into each other. Lead paint, whatever, you know, be not getting enough fresh air. Did you say lead paint?

Yeah, lead paint. Asbestos. Asbestos, that kind of, you guys are trying to find all the biomarkers of poor health. Sure. Whereas I'm just at you know food but all that insulation we were kids yeah that cotton candy insulation yeah good that look like

that's a carpenter yeah you know how many times he left me alone at Home Depot and I'm just staring and it's like am I taking a is this the day what was the finally take a bite of the pink pants or avert but it was the ultimate like stab in the back because it made you itchy. It wasn't even like hey if I touch it it's just not candy it also hurts you. Right. You know what I mean? Which I was sure my parents were lying to me about. Sure. And I had to find out the hard way. Your lungs swell up. I fully fully touched it. Like I tried to do the math. It's not strawberry. Stop it! Does it make me itchy itchy because if it doesn't I'm taking a bug I'm closer to eating. Yeah, exactly if it doesn't if it doesn't hurt me on the outside

It might not hurt me on the inside. I did the due diligence of that And then but then I think I psych I don't know if it actually does make you itch you or I just psychosomatically Convinced myself. No it makes you itch Me and my brother were climbing through we rewired a high school We got some job from it like a cousin incredible, and they sent us hired you I don't this is what happens when you privatize things yeah, like people think it's like Oh, we're gonna get the the pork out of government. We're gonna make things more efficient. No. It's gonna go through eight subcontractors Yeah, and some guy who's probably at the time kicking crack is gonna fucking be the person putting drop ceilings in your

high school. Yeah, they had to hire a certain amount of non-union workers and me and my brother were both college students, broke his shit, and they gave us like $1,500 a week to crawl through the ceilings pulling wire through and it was all insulation. By the way, they had to hire a certain amount of non-union workers means they that's not legal at all that's not what unions do the exact opposite. Yeah you have to hire so many union workers. You're working for an upside-down union? Yeah three guys got union jobs and they're like alright someone's actually got to do the work. Can we get anybody with a pretty bad drug problem?

Right here sir! Do we have any weekend warriors on the list? I was actually up in the ceiling when they were looking for people and I just stuck my head down. You were casing it for computers and stuff upside down? You guys looking for people? Yeah, he was casing it. He was going to end up stealing. He stole the fax machines they were throwing away the next day anyway. That was Hank's big come up. I got a whole score of dumpster full of fax machines and typewriters.

They got good printers in here. Do you ever know any dumpster divers? A little bit. Like food wise? Yeah. I knew a couple, in Baltimore I knew a couple like, I did know a couple like. What a real cool crew huh? Well they were not my crew.

But there was definitely like more associates there was there was like kids that like I went so I went to like I went to public school in Baltimore but you had like test into there was literally the way Baltimore did it's kind of fucked up there's three good schools in the entire system and they make you test into them ones are like 10 Yeah, one's in the back of a TGI Fridays. But so I went to one, and it was so, I went to a good school in Baltimore, but what happened is rich kids that got expelled

from all the private schools would end up at my school. It was, their parents would pull strings. They knew like. Get them into the nice public school. Exactly, exactly. So that's actually, it was rich kids pretending to be poor or that were like fuck you dad and we're like you know would smoke weed in eighth grade and then like dumpster dive and shit like that who now are probably you know prosecutors sure like fuck it you know

what I mean like who they they are to the southern district yeah blowing off steam so I knew a couple of those like fake freak a guy like rosset those guys like white you know like just rich Jewish kids that were smoking weed and like going like I'm living off the earth man but and then my modest Yahoo years and and I you know am I gonna sit here and tell you I didn't share a couple Panera bread croissants, but you were there you were there for a different smoke weed and a free snack if a gigantic plastic bag of Panera bread broccoli cheddar soup we're doing We're the fucking these bread. Yeah, exactly

Bread bowls without putting bring your own soup bread bowls Am I above microwaving a chunkies clam chowder and pouring it in a three day old bread bowl? No, I'm not. Beef barley out of a sock? Dude, one of the first business- Just try and catch a movie or something. One of the first business lunches I went on

was a Panera Bread and I'd never been there and I ordered the bread bowl and the guys looked at me like I was- What was this for? I was eating a fucking business lunch? It wasn't a business lunch. You and Rubenoff talking about a sketch idea? What are you talking about? You were...

You got a job interview for a multi-level marketing scheme at a Panera brand. You didn't have a business lunch. Dude, that's always a sign it's a shady company. When it's not at the office They're like here's in fact We're gonna show you how sharp our knives are by cutting your fucking chicken Fontega sandwich in quarters It's at the business center of a hotel Sneaking off to get free breakfast. I'll go get a waffle and you come back. Exactly, exactly, you stay in here. I would have loved to see the fucking khakis in the shirt out of a plastic box that you wore to that day.

With the matching tie. It was a pair of grey slacks that I got at TJ Maxx that I wore for every event ever. With an aquamarine shirt and like a fucking shiny Regis Phil. Yeah, it was from Express the monochromatic colors. Yeah, pay less shoes killing I remember I had to do that. They were my brother's shoes. I remember doing that thing Doing that thing. There's a bigger guy. You'll know this where the The dress pants have that double button right, but I couldn't get lined up so I absolutely did the abridged version I didn't get lined up so I Bridged I Didn't even know I didn't know you were supposed to put the button over it until I was like 23 years

Wait, one's usually a button the other one's a hook. Yeah, but I was able to clamp I was able to hook the hook in the loop. Oh, yeah, I'm fucking dude. I'm grasping for straws here I gotta make room for the bread. I never hooked in my life I never hooked in my life. I always just the the button was just hanging on Just praying Sweater you know what I mean like I never no one ever saw yeah, you're tucking it No, you're not talking in your cover. Yes covering of course trying to untuck as much as possible Jacket the fact I have something over there anything a button-down shirt and a fucking sweater. I'll talk about itchy

But the coverage man you needed this way yeah Covers the boobs and everything Very nice absolutely. I'll never tuck a shirt in again. I'm aware that I'll never wear a tile I'm like proud there's three more times in my life I'm probably ever gonna wear a tie right ones in the casket. Well. Yeah I'm still going sweater Yeah, I want tracks. I want to be buried in a track I want a fun kiss coffin

I always love when you see like why don't more people have a fun funeral sure kid Hey kid who fucking who's like he was like holding a fucking Xbox control Yeah, it's crazy. They do that down in Mexico and shit like I thought that was cool My favorite is you ever see when they when the when those those guys took their dead friend into the nightclub and propped them up We a true weekend that Bernie. Yeah, they're like maybe this will bring him back No, they're like hopefully the music hopefully the island rhythms will bring him back just like they did Bernie from weekend He's just in the corner like this Did he had like bottles and sunglasses and they were all posing with him and they told the club that it was just like a memorial

Service they didn't expect him to be there like they just thought it was like in honor of oh wow and dude they posted They were all taking it was great. I mean that's great it now now We are venturing into public health problems You're mummying people and bringing into a nightclub, it's one thing at their funeral, but I don't fucking oh yeah We're gonna take my dead son to Dave and Buster's The other one too is they'll put the kid they'll put somebody somebody in a coffin and they'll bring him out to a soccer field and they'll kick the soccer ball off the casket. Yeah, love that. Then they all jump. One final goal.

One last goal, yeah, yeah. He wasn't that good. What are we doing here? Fuck out of here with God. Alright, but we got some goddamn Patreon, some garbage questions to get into from the Patreon. As you guys know, when you join the Patreon, weria some some garbage questions to get into from the patreon as you guys know when you join the patreon We'll answer your garbage questions on the air This one is a home run because I felt this my whole life and I've never been able to verbalize it

This is from Bree Nutter butter and jelly Is it garbage to be in a 20 year beef with actor Seth Green because he dissed E in the show entourage I? Hated fucking Seth Green ever since that happened, and I don't know why it bothered me on a Cellular level say hi to Sloan for me. Yeah, fuck that guy dude fuck that guy his crew in that show Fucking weak yeah, they were fucking dorks. I don't know if it's garbage, or if you're just really fucking stupid And don't understand they kind of go in narrative But he played himself himself that's what bothered me okay but so does Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiast

he's the good guy. He played himself you're not able to differentiate when someone plays mockumentary that's too much for you. 100 percent. Were you an entourage guy? see that's also part of it I wasn't I you an entourage guy? See, that's also part of it. I wasn't, I was an entourage guy later in life. So it didn't, it didn't get me when I was young. To me, I was seeing it. I bought into it like I bought into the Blair Witch. This is 100% document. You're still waiting for Aquaman to come out. Where's Medellin? I am Queens Boulevard. They should have made some of those movies. Seriously.

You're telling me head on wasn't a great crime thriller? Give me a fucking break. Come on, man. I want to see him and Scorsese, whatever they linked up to do. Oh yeah, that's right. What did they end up, they were doing something. I think, I think, I don't know if it ever happened, happened. It was just, he thought he was down and out, he was moving back to Queens.

And then he gets the call at fucking Drama's Bar that... What was the again? This again you guys are something you guys are confusing fictional TV show for reality He was never the fund is not a real guy You're no fun, Stomperos. Sorry guys. Sorry, I'm sorry I'm not a big authorized guy. This guy's a real bummer. What did you watch?

What did I watch? What were your shows as a kid? Were you a wire guy? I was def- I mean, again, a wire guy later on. Well, not even later, I guess, in my- when it was coming out. It was too real at the time. I caught on. I mean, yeah. I mean, mean they filmed sees I remember being alive when they filmed season two They filmed the Greek season. They used the restaurant. My mother was currently a waitress

It's closed down now, but yeah, they they filmed in that restaurant. They used my house as a crack out Yeah, yeah I mean that the east side where it's like although all the fucking white drug dealers truly was like Right around my neighborhood. It's fun and like on that side of town You know I was just I was a very we didn't get cable until pretty late Okay, so I was just like I was making do with reruns Seinfeld kid. You're younger to how old are you? He's huge. I'm 35. You're 35 and didn't have cable when you were young No, I mean I was that immigrant shit

Yeah, we were fucking poor and also my dad didn't give a fuck about when we got cable as soon as he could get Satellite TV and get watch Greek shit. And so then we had like a couple channels dated satellite TV direct TV You're just like an off-brand satellite dish network family That remote looked like something that the Russians made 60 your neighbors must have thought you guys were spies. Oh, no dish network swept Greek town Are you kidding? It was like once you saw a good deal up? Every fucking ceiling or one account for the whole neighborhood. Yeah, I wish They definitely yeah, you couldn't steal dish network like you could cable fucking ceiling or one account for the whole neighborhood. Yeah, I wish they definitely.

Yeah, you couldn't steal Dish Network like you could cable. That was your first move was what was Dish Network first. Yeah, first. And I think we got it when I was in like, you know, maybe I was in like middle school at some point. OK. But I just watch I was just like the classic you get home, whatever is on in that syndicated three, six and ten. You had six stations. Exactly.'s see that's how we grew up But the younger guys I figured you guys all had cable earlier. I mean I was poor is the difference

Yeah, like like being fucking you know being like being poor makes makes it feel like I was gen X in certain ways Like I'm not an internet I didn't have the internet until fucking we had dial-up when I was again in middle school try jumping off to that It was tough. I tried I died we had to-up when I was again in middle school try checking off to that it was tough I tried I died we had to do it I printed pictures yeah and jacked off to them we go to free ones dot-com yeah I spent a lot of time trying to find naked WWE ladies shout out to sable yes sable a lot of stuff go there was a couple fakes that I still jack I still think of fine I don't jack off them I think of them fondly. There you go.

They're sort of the, maybe I'll incorporate them in the appetizer part of jerking off. Sure. When you're just kind of thinking about stuff. We would have to. A footsie under the table at dinner. What we would do is we'd go to like, we'd go to free ones, you'd find a lady

or multiple people or ladies you liked. And you'd save, well you wouldn't save, I think you would, yeah, you would save the picture, then or copy it and paste it in a word document And then you could put like four or five you can you can make them work on one page And then just print that a lot of ink still the same amount of ink though I know but the paper's not the no call the problem. No it was the Color it's black and white

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Yeah, dude. It was fucking, it was, and then we got, there was a weird period where we had dial-up so late that like, Kazaa and all that other shit is already around, like downloading MP3s and videos is already happening, but because it was dial-up, to download a video, I would literally just put it on all night. Yeah, go to bed.

We just wouldn't have a telephone. We would have an available telephone. So that I could jack off. Yeah, go to bed wouldn't have a telephone Yeah, it was awesome my parents were in such immigrants that they had no idea how the computer worked at all and then one day My mom like it was it was atrocious She just like she just like figured took some class at the library and it was just like fucking bamboozle came back from the learning annex Yeah, my I never even I was so fucking cocky I never even bothered to clear my internet history I was like I'm not I'm not fucking losing yeah memories I need to know what to jack off to and it was just like you know bang buzz a confidence of a teen a young teenager not to clear cookies yes great

what I'm saying how to use a computer what she said there's even one that was like and and then you then it would link you I think it would link you to other shit There wasn't like the tube sites You would go on specific websites And you would watch the teasers Shout out to the teasers And I got deep

And then it's fucked up What a teenage boy, like children now What they're getting into must be insane But one of the sites, you just are like let's see the most fucking weird shit sure and one of them was literally crack whores calm and I just remember hearing my mother who I never used a computer ever in her life just yeah like what is crack whores dot-com in her fucking Greek accent I was like ah we must and the classic we got a virus virus It's a virus. I was doing work for school. It's the Turks ma

And that that one's fucked up because that did I remember going and horrifying me But it's in the it was still in the fucking still jerked off to it No, I did actually made me like for a second rethink what I was doing. I would have to clear cookies, clear history, and then I would open up the browser again and start typing to make sure nothing popped up. I type in like sex or horse or whatever, it makes sure nothing auto popped up. Horse. I remember my dad getting busted with shit like that.

Oh hell yeah dude. He would just ruin laptop after laptop, not realizing what was going on and it would just be like you're one solitaire and my mom was like, what's going on? **** brutal. Oh, man. Goddamn. That is good stuff. Back to the TV though. So, back to the TV. In the summers. Yeah. Cable's great. Mm hmm. But in the summers, when you would get like Fox, you would get like a double shot of Three's Company or Hogan's Heroes or whatever. That's probably not when he's back. No. What was on? Hogan's Heroes? No. This is like fucking 2002.

Yeah, but they still ran that stuff all through the 2000s. I don't. Well, you watch it. What was your double shot? They would play two episodes back to back in the summer would be like sorry to age you but it would just Be like fucking you know Seinfeld Frazier Frazier King of Queens shit like that. I was everybody loves Raymond. I was big Hogan's heroes. Oh, this year's insane green gables No, it was like that and then also I was a big fan of the of UPN programming shout out to UPN So Steve, you know, well actually Steve Harvey show was WB, but there was a they were girlfriends Girl shout out to girlfriend with mr. Cooper hang with mr. Cooper, but that that was I believe that was that was mainstream

I was yeah. Yeah, that was a three. That was a ABCCB. That was something back to Hogan's heroes. Yeah Yeah, back to yes. What back to Hogan's heroes. Yeah Back to yes, what year was Hogan's here the last episode with? 1971 they were not running that in 2000 they ran it all through the 90s not all through the night. Yes, they did till 99 See when it was said the kids still on now on me TV. Yeah, that's not fucking UPN 57 54 45 24 UPN was 24 for us. You're crazy to think ABC was playing Hogan's Heroes in the summer.

You guys don't like Charlie Chaplin? I don't know what to tell you. It started in 1965. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's a good show. It was over 15 years before I was born. What about what's happening? They're all in the family. That's the same thing.

See, occasionally you would catch one of those on like a weird. But it wasn't like flowing like crazy. No, but I will say Foley is right in that you would, channels would like, kind of like use that as old shit as Foley. Yeah, sure. But it wasn't like, you know.

They weren't playing it every day in the summer. No, it was freer. Oh, in the summer no it was first crack horse calm I was watching quality program from a good garbage yeah I was a big yeah big big the whole all that all those syndicated shows Simpsons all that kind of shit all right all right, let's see here. We got uh, you know, we got a couple bigger We've got a couple bigger gentlemen here who's like to dabble in you know, starchy foods. This one's from Professor moist $10 shareholder is it garbage to put ketchup on a mashed potato? No, no I mean, I'm not saying it's not good. On a baked potato, definitely not.

What?! I saw my uncle do this one time. You're saying it's not garbage? It's not garbage to put it on a baked potato. I agree with that. You guys are out of your fucking minds. A baked potato is an elevated form of a potato. Imagine, listen, if you're getting it in a fucking steakhouse.

Anything with bacon bits on it. You're getting it in a steakhouse, you know what I mean? You're fucking squirting some fucking... Who, you're getting into a steakhouse. You know what I mean? You're fucking squirting some fucking... Who gets a baked potato at a steakhouse? That's not crazy. That's a classic. Double stuffed or something like that. Twice baked.

By the way, twice baked is the classiest potato. Loaded. No, once it's loaded, it's not classy. I'll give you that. It's classy when they give you a little fucking tray and there's a little thing, a little ramekin of chives, a little ramekin of chives a little ramekin Of butter and sour cream or that's class. That's a classy potato. I think that dude to me. It's like putting it in soup It's like too much of a liquid to put on mashed potatoes. Oh, no, let me explain myself weird fucked up

Yeah, it's like change. It changes the consistency of the true true. Let me explain myself garbage not garbage I don't know about any of that I mean first of all you should if you take a baked potato and you slice it into like almost like home fried pieces With the butter on it and hit it with a little ketchup. It's delicious Well, what we're talking about now though is you've transformed the form of the potato, right? Cuz what you've made it more of a a Western fry You've kind of put it in quarters and that you have you have met You have met the final potato boss Gentlemen I'm gonna ask you to both leave the room

Yeah, this I think we've said before it's like the Lincoln Douglas debates for fat guys but a baked potato when you slice it up and then especially if you slice it and then pop it back in to get a Toast you've essentially Categorized it as a fry as a Western fry simply. We're putting it back in. I'm just saying if you like Don't don't tell me you didn't show up a little bit But if it is served as a baked potato we have potatoes dotnet gang We have to have some kind of we have to have some kind of respect for each different form of potato I'll give you that you know like are you putting fucking ketchup on scalloped potatoes. I would I

Would you can't do shit on match. On mash though. Okay, we'll stick with stick with the top. Hold on. Hold on. Let me put a put. Where are you where there's ketchup available and mashed potatoes at the same time? When is that on the table? Or a diner? You're getting mashed potatoes at a diner? I love mashed potatoes at a diner. See, this is the reason it's absolutely garbage because mashed potatoes on their own are almost always garbage You'd like not good or teetering on the garbage not good or trashy. No you get like a whip match like a

Hello, I sometimes at a diner. I'll get a burger and get mashed instead of fries. That's too many cars. So fucked up That's a lot of difference. They're not fried. They're boiled You're you what are you lubricating the burger down your throat? You wanted to travel down your gullet. Do you dip the burger in the mashed potatoes a little bit? Because I use mashed potatoes as a as a coat as a Adhesive for the rest of my food on the plate You get that on this fork and then you can you dip around or collect everything But what okay a mashed potato if it's ever gonna be not trash, is a side to something with a protein and a vegetable,

and it should come with maybe a little, see, that's the thing, if it's not gonna be trash, it does come with some kind of sauce, maybe an au jus, some other kind of dipping sauce, but once you take the mashed potato and you take it to its lower forms, boxed, for example, boxed, mashed, never not trash. No, 100%.

Even at a fucking diner, mashed potatoes, I would even say ketchup might be the dividing line to when mashed potatoes become trash or not. Wow. Because if it's fucked up, to even conceive of asking for ketchup at a place where they have mashed potatoes, that's a classy mashed potato. Yeah. But if someone would bring you ketchup without a second thought, it's trash 100%. Yeah, that waiter's not gonna go, sir, please, the chef does not recommend it.

Yeah, exactly. He's gonna be like, here you need any you want some mustard to I'm gonna fucking pour mayo down your fucking Care right is some barbecue sauce Louie in the back wants to know if you want a job Yeah, we're out of dumpsters So you know this is good, I'm glad we went through this thought of course all right I'll give you that I'll give you that. I'll give you that. With the instant mashed potatoes,

that's all we had until I was, I think, about 12. No, me too. Really? We were, we were, that to me was always like a thing that my mom, I mean Irish, I mean, it was just, you're doing potatoes. Right, right, right. It was sacrilegious not to do a box of it. I mean, also, what's a sack of potatoes? Fucking 45 cents? You know what I mean? It's not like you're saving up. It's the ease. It's the ease. Yeah, my dad loved my dad also loved

Canned potatoes you ever have those that suck that little say they're great. That's like fish bait there What do you mean canned a whole potato can there's little like little baby? Yeah little baby potatoes in there What's the consistency? It's like yeah, it tastes like a boiled potato Oh, they do are you're supposed to then mash them now you supposed to we use them to make home fries He would slice them up, but they were already cooked through I'll allow it now Look catch them on there now you have to transform them though again of course. Yeah, they're chopped ingredients A little bit of onions. Yeah, yeah make it nice. They're a chop can't gradient What what did you do with the boiled?

Shout out the chopped by the way great great formulae. Joe. I mean, I love it It's great and shout out to the trash version guys grocery game. Yes It's if if she if chopped is a little too heady for you Yeah, if you're too cerebral if it's a little too fast, they're making that you don't like that's icky right go to go to God Listen to this podcast watch guys grocery He's getting real comfortable by the way He's smoking that cigar everywhere he goes now. He's bringing every family member as a job I respect this shit get everybody on a payroll salute to him make the Food Network pay for everybody's

Goddamn salary Yeah, I'll come back into another season. This is my third cousin. He's a gaffer now He's got the canned nachos oh Nachos in a can and they slide out that's that's not real. No, they don't come in a can you make them in a can Yeah, and then and then when they slip on the table you take the can and it's a perfect Yeah, the fall of ever and mix of ingredients which I like that I'm a big thing is they say make them in the fucking air fryer, which I haven't done which seems to me great You can layer it and you layer it. Yeah good

Okay, you want to also microwave diff you want to Mike if you're gonna use refried beans microwave those on their own? Oh, because they won't heat they'll heat slower than a chip or a cheese Or a protein I never make it run over office. Dude when it comes I literally this is the smartest I get When we have these discussions about food and like or categorization Yeah, this is all I want to fucking talk about 100 have you ever made nachos in the microwave? Yeah, it we have these discussions about food and like categorization. Yeah, this is all I want to fucking talk about. 100% Have you ever made nachos in the microwave? Yeah, it's the best.

I love just cheese on two-tiered chips. Crab singles cheese. Break them up and put them on a crass. Oh, it's no shredding. You got to get up. It's so good. It's good. I don't know about the flavor, though. And then I would take them. I would say, who am I?

Who are you? What do you miss? You're too good for mayonnaise on mashed potatoes. I don't know about the flavor though, and then I would take them Good for mayonnaise on match I'm just talking about the way to do it My god damn show stop You a sour cream guy? Yeah, well, Greek yogurt. Greek yogurt? But before we had Greek yogurt, before Greek yogurt was readily available in America,

we may do with sour cream. But yes. What's the difference? Wait, hold on a second. So you're telling me if you want a baked potato when Greek yogurt was readily available in that state, you'd put a dollop of Greek yogurt on there instead of sour cream?

Yes, I would. I can't do it. Mentally, I think. I mean, if you even want to be if you want to be like indulgent try the full fat Greek yogurt It's better than sour cream And then if you want to be you can actually have a sort of healthy meal with zero fat Greek yogurt And it's got and it tastes pretty much like sour cream. See my brain with yogurt goes sweet I'd be I'd be putting granola on there., it's a pie. It's very possible to not I'm using Dan and Banana got a go-gurt. Yeah, that's like again a child's way of thinking. It's just like well yogurt sweet

Well, I didn't know they were yeah, I didn't know they were interchangeable then we were at your wedding And I ordered the like Breakfast bowl or whatever it was and I asked for extra sour cream, and she's like, sir, there is no sour cream in there. And I was like, I had it yesterday, lady. There's fucking sour cream in it. I was like, the white stuff, she's like, that's Greek yogurt.

Oh, and your chili killis? Yeah, and I said, all right, well hit me with a double dose of the yogi. Well, let's tell you, you know, Greek food, tzatziki, our white sauce, what the fuck do you think that is? I don't know yogurt I don't think Greek yogurt boy. I'm in there we go. Yeah Yeah, of course taverna cake lightest does they're fucking to Zeki so good. It's pretty good. They shred the cucumbers

You got to shred the cucumber Little I don't want to show them. I love the I love that restaurant. Do they know you when you go in there? No, I mean a couple if I get the right waiters. Yeah. Yeah, but I'm you know, you know, it's. Do they know you when you go in there? I mean, a couple, if I get the right waiters, yeah. Yeah. But I'm, you know. It's not like they're not coming. It's not like. I think if I went more maybe just because it's

like any Greek people, anyone who's even a little famous in Greek, they'll fucking pile on. They got a couple of hitters out there. Dude, you never heard of like Greek singers, like the old guys? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They look like Frank Vincent. It's fucking awesome Yeah, 25 years old and I'll go to bodega in the story and see a poster for a guy that was like selling out arenas And yeah, ten years ago. Yeah, he's playing like, you know still kind of big shows or like doing like you we do

Holy shit, this is like who I grew up my parents were playing this music Yeah, this guy's like, you know three blocks from my fucking they wheeled out like Frankie Frankie Valley still taking the checks my god. He's not putting ketchup on He's yeah, he's not chewing anything. Yeah, he's eating through a bag Guys Got two Duracells up his ass. Also, like I was like the man retired. Ketchup and mashed potatoes does sound like a thing you put in a bag. Yeah, that sounds like it lick.

It would liquefy too much. I feel. Yeah. Your grandpa can't, you know, he has esophageal cancer. Sure. He can't swallow. Thanksgiving. All right.

Let's give him a little treat. Let's give him a microwave ketchup and fucking mashed potatoes and pour it down his goal turkey smoothie for Papa Get out of here All right, let's see here this was just funny this is from Cody $10 buffooned You ever watch the YouTube tutorial on how to count cards while you're flying to Vegas Talk about playing B. Talk about just needing to chip in a chair, dude. Just like one last swing at it.

I love that. I have done. I have done the there's apps that tell you like how you should play blackjack. Mm hmm. And I've done that. I've played. I'm like, you know what, dude, by the time I get off this fucking flight, I'm going to be tight. Yeah. I'm going to know every move to make. I'm going to, you know, and then you lose four hundred dollars.'m gonna be tight. Yeah, I know every move to make I'm gonna You know then you lose $400 they always win Always win yeah that dealer can't be that much better than you it's not skill. It's Pritz numbers idiot. Yeah, it's the tis

Training fully you training you'll get them they always get blackjack. Yeah, that's how the game is set up What do you mean? They don't first of all they don They always get blackjack. Yeah, that's how the game is set up. What do you mean? They don't first of all they don't always get blackjack. I Think it's their skill is coming into place. No, I thought that's how they got the job Blackjack combine Hey, buddy, how many times can you pull 20? Aren't they skilled card players? How many times can you pull 20? Wait, they don't? Aren't they skilled card players?

No. Not players, you dumbass. Dealers. No, most of them are drug addicts. I thought you were a really good card player, and then they hired you. To what, make minimum wage? That doesn't make any sense. No. Why wouldn't you just be a good card player on your own? You think they keep the money? No, I don't think they keep the money.

They may get bonuses or something like that. They really break you up. If they win? They really bust you down. I don't think they keep the money. I mean, they get bonuses or something like that. They really break you up. They win. They really bust you down. Wait, so why why is it in their advantage then? What do you mean? Because the whole. You're playing. That's what a casino

is. You're playing again. You're trying to beat them. Yes. So, you make the moves and if you bust, they still take your money even if they bust. Wow. You see what I mean? Yeah, no, I got you on that. Like, you're trying to be, you're actively trying to be them. They're operating under a set of standard rules.

I just feel like more often than not. And you are an idiot. They hit blackjack. Thinking dealers got the job because they win blackjack. You think some guy was just really good at like Caribbean stud and they were like, all right, you're the guy? Well, not even the poker dealers, they're not good? You don't play the poker dealers.

Oh, you don't? I don't play the poker dealers Oh, you know True game of skill Fully shown like a website that's like roulette like roulette fucking practice Fuck dude, I gotta get better at this. I got a double zero I got a think red more harder He's dressed it all red simulator was the word I couldn't come up. I was on a roulette simulator Like the driving one Most people have like a fucking flight simulator

He's got a fake roulette wheel in his house. Screwdriver in front of me. Some trashy waitress coming up. What can I get you? What can I get you? This is Shopify. Shopify, Shopify, Shopify. If you're not using Shopify for your online store,

you might as well be working in Deadwood. At a general store in Red Dam, Redemption. You're in the Stone Age. In the Stone Age, painting on caves. Do yourself a favor. You got a lot of hustlers out there. A lot of small businessmen, small business women. A lot of side projects. A lot of side projects. A lot of startups. Do yourself a favor. Get over to Shopify. Best checkout in the game. It's gonna make it. Mm-hmm So start 2025 right if you're thinking how am I gonna make this year different if you got an idea You're a craftsman. You're a woodworker. You're a something

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no geek squad out there. Got heaters and beers. They have social media tools to let you connect all your channels, create shopable posts, so everywhere people scroll, they can see you. Sign up for your $1 per month trial at Shopify.com slash garbage. All lowercase, go to Shopify.com slash garbage to start selling with Shopify today. Shopify.com slash garbage. Do it. Do it. What's up to all my listeners of IU garbage? Roy selling with Shopify today. Shopify.com slash garbage, do it. Do it. What's up to all my listeners of IU garbage. Roy Wood Jr. here.

And I wanna tell you about my new standup comedy special. It's Hoolerious and it's streaming now on Hulu. I did this special because the world has lost connection. We don't interact like we used to. You won't talk with your mom on the phone for 10 minutes, but you'll listen to a stranger talk on a podcast for an hour. You can listen to the podcast and call your mom back too.

We all just need a little perspective. So don't miss my new standup special, Roy Wood Jr., Lonely Flowers, now streaming on Hulu. Are you a gambler at all or no? Not really. No. I gambled a little bit. I just, I don't, I just don't like the way it does feel.

I feel that I get hooked almost instantly. Yeah, it's great. It's the adrenaline. I gotta keep going. I gotta get this back. Sure. Or even sports gambling. It's a little fun in theory, but to put a little something on a game. When you start chasing it, it's tough. You start chasing it, and it's like, I have enough money that I could lose.

I used to gamble a little bit when I was a kid like you know my friend I had I was friends with kids who just ended up being gambling addicts. Me too, I had professional gambling addicts. I had like they were professional gamblers. Yeah I had a kid who like played cards for a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They always busted out. Yeah, another kid who like lost a shit ton of fucking money. Mm-hmm. But because of that as a 14 year old I had access to people with bookies sure so we would put in like you know $20 bets on like the Packers in like Monday Night Football just to make it fun whatever you know but I and then we would play Texas Hold'em at that kid's house whatever but no I can't I can't gamble I hate it when that stuff got really popular I was at the like I was just old enough where I hated it and like all Kids my age like really got into Texas hold them and they would show up the parties with their own chips

Yeah, you all the girls fucking glass with like those fucking mirrored glass with the dinosaurs on Hood up and headphones. Yeah. Yeah, it's like goddamn christening. What are you doing? Yeah? Yeah, you're not fucking yeah You're not Chris money Doyle Brunson you're not Scotty win yeah, I totally wasn't one of those guys Yeah, we were big. Yeah, I mean we were big poker players that hit in high school for us And it was like we just became high school. I'll give you we were degenerate We just liked gambling and it was like I had probably I used to make I used to work at it and enact me

Bagging groceries. I probably made like 150 bucks a week. We would take that money We'd pick up our checks on Friday and then just gamble that money immediately Whether in cards or sports and it would be like I bet a hundred bucks when I had 150 Right and like that so I'm addicted to that of like I could go broke yeah and for me to do that now it would be just too way too irresponsible I'm like I can't do that you have a yes he I've learned everything about playing cards from kippy you just thought you were the dealers were good poker players I've learned don't connect me to your professor my mentor. Yeah Kevin Black Widow Ryan Shot me Tommy had to shoot nine ball

Had to play the gimp and then coming in It can't be breakout Lucille Tell me how to cross my one eye so I look stupid No, he does a good thing about if you win, like say you win something, you take a little you take that's matured Kevin now. That's like if you're playing roulette, and let's just say you hit a number and you add whatever five bucks on it and you win, they give you a black chip or like a whatever, a colored chip that you're not playing with that goes in your pocket. That's like bank kippy calls it like- The bank hippie calls it. The bank, put it in the bank.

Stay even and then everything's fun. And then everything's fun. And then it's like, oh, if you go on a heater and you're like, I got 500 bucks in my pocket. All right, let's get the fuck out of here and go get a fucking mashed potatoes and ketchup. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Go get a baseball steak.

I mean, fucking, the way they also have slot machines now, it really is like, it's like designed to trick you into just being like oh it's 100% I don't understand what the fuck is going on what's going on but it feels like a video game and that's the thing that like it got me like an old guy yeah I was in Vegas yeah I hadn't been in Vegas you know for until I was like in I pretty recently, like when I toured there, maybe four years ago, five years ago, and I went and it just totally slot got me like an old guy. And it's kind of funny.

You're just like mindless. Someone brings you drinks. You're like a gerbil licking like the. Well, they suck you in and everything's corrupted. Wheel of Fortune is corrupted at the fucking casinos. Well, what would you read that line? What are you talking about? They wheel of fortune is corrupted at the fucking casinos They wheel of fortune game yeah, why is that corrupted cuz that's a wholesome family show right taking your mortgage payment I will say game about that whores walking around and all kind of fucking Scantily clad outfits, but I was my first that was my first boner as a care you come on

Vanna white just cuz she showed a little cleavage show a little fuck yeah show a little respect where is Saudi Arabia she's got a color I'm sorry crack whores calm all the time you're on your high and you know what I would love to see those women rehabilitated and flipping fucking flipping letters flipping letters at a local because that's how Vanna white got her job right she was the best at flipping letters there was local local regional regional games of fucking Sectional I think by the way, so what's his face retired? Say Jack why the fuck isn't Vanna White hosting? I don't know I thought that's a crazy

She's she's been in the number two chair the whole time. I don't let her be the host I don't do it now. I don't see crest I think Let her be the host. Who's doing it now? Seacrest, I think. Get the fuck Seacrest! That guy's got another fuck-a-bitch job? Seacrest! Vanna White should have that, and there should be a fucking nice piece of ass flipping... A guy!

A guy! Show a little pop-a-bitch. Maybe pop-a-bitch. I like that. I don't get it either. It's fucked up. What happened to progress in this country? You know what I mean?

I read Sajak wants to come back. That's what I heard. Oh, interesting. Where'd you read that? Page Six? This? I'm use a fully keeps up with I Don't like that. I don't like that. Ken Jennings either. I heard I heard they're doing alex trabek They're doing a Hogan's heroes reboot. It's in the works I'd be all over it Alright, let's see here this one's from Aidan Are you garbage if you combine cold brew and Dr. Pepper?

I saw someone do this at a Panera Bread one time, added a little creamer and wowee. If you think about it, it probably makes sense. It adds a little carbonation, it's sweet, it's got a little bit of a bite to it. Ah, I'm right there on it. I don't mind. I can see it. I don't mind the cream, it. I don't mind the cream

Okay, a dr. Pepper and cream might be alright. Okay, that's So wrong that is so easily the trashiest part putting cream and soda is Unequivocally unequivocally the most fucked up part. I used to do it on Laverne and Shirley all the time and Shirley all the time. Hey, pop pop! I mean, Jesus Christ, with these references Foley, for Christ's sake. It's a good Zubin. Laverne, and he wasn't kidding! That's the best part. She did, milk and Pepsi.

Oh, sorry, you don't like Penny Marshall? I'm an asshole? You like Penny Marshall? I like Penny Marshall fine. Why? They get it on Hamlet all the time. They used to feed Mr. Ed Coke and Cream. That's how they got the fucking horse to talk. They'd rub his fucking gums with milk and fucking Dr. Pepper. That's how we do the

foley. This is all dumb. I just put peanut butter in his mouth. Mr. Ed was too racy for me. Oh horse talking? Okay. I'm not an idiot. I'm more of a Mork and Mindy guy. I don't think this is real. Watching Mr. Ed. Boo, you're booing it. Still holding grudges. What has the world come to? Big trend now though is putting pickle juice and pickles

in Dr. Pepper and soda and stuff like that. I'm against that also. That's TikTok shit. So boo, yeah. Dua Lipa does it. Right. She's the only person I know. Hot Rod. Oh, yeah, she is. She is very talented. Very talented. Some bangers. I you know, I'll throw Dua Lipa on and do some lat pull downs in the gym.

You know what I'm saying? Sure. It's upbeat. I also think I'm impressing a hot woman. It's you know, I mean, too. You know, like, oh, look, I'm an ally. I like your music. You know, I'm like, maybe hot woman. It's you know I mean to look I'm an ally I'm like maybe she you know maybe a sexy girl looks like Dua Lipa might see my fucking bum Maybe she sucks me off just whatever it takes to get through that set I'd love to adjudicate whether this is trash or not and the milk is really the tough part for me because I Because here's what so you're okay with the combo. Well, here's what I'm saying. What's classy is you see this a lot of okay is a

a espresso in like a Fucking ice cream seltzer. No, no, that's you know,'s also, but you know, that's, you're onto something there. Affogato. Yeah, they do that. Delicious. Affogato, I gotta get in my dig. Sucked. That was a tracksuit talking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a symbiote. Yeah, I can't help it. I can't help it, but, so that's, you know, affogato, classy. Very. Seltzer with, with, an espresso. An espresso. Classy. Classy. I've tried tried it not my cup of tea. Are they doing that? Yeah, they're doing that okay. Definitely definitely the soda

Why it's a little fucked up is how? Sweet the soda is sure you know what I mean like I'm not opposed to because the soda is is merely Seltzer with with some sugar, but it's so much sugar and the flavor is so It's dr. Pepper, which is trash-coated You know sure hey classy It's great though. I have to I have to I have to land on trashy unfortunately, okay And maybe this is me being a listen I agree with you anytime you're combining that kind of stuff That's not ultra processed if you're if you're combining stuff kind of stuff that's not ultra processed foods.

If you're combining stuff on your own and the restaurant's not doing it, you're trash right away. I was in Europe actually, I don't know, I was in London maybe or even maybe this was Greece. Hello! And I'm very good. So am I. And I swear to God, I think they had coffee coke where it was coke with coffee

Yeah, we have that I had to try it and it was pretty good, but there's no way that's class What about a Manhattan special you ever had one of those those are pretty good. What's that? It's like this Italian flavored It's a special flavored soda. Yes, but they're gonna put sugar that things brutal Doesn't have enough sugar. Oh for you. There's no sugar. I don't think there is definitely is there They have a diet version of it There's a diet what would the diet be what I had sweet as fuck actually is it I remember tasting like such black coffee. I couldn't drink it. I think I have like it out at the breeze that the bag This is the same so diet. It was just a fully sugar soda. It's a little bottle. It's in a little

But says Manhattan Yeah, dude, it's a fucking it's what do you got? Oh, do you 37 grams? I gotta get my glucose Jesus Christ! That's insane! That's fucking nuts! It was eat- no that's also sweet. Diet Coke is not not sweet. You're goddamn right.

That's fucking great. You know what you want to talk about classy. Ready? I think this is a Dua Lipa again. Vanilla ice cream, olive oil, a little sea salt on top. That's Italian shit, yeah. I'll give you that and a pickle Little ketchup yeah, the sim I think the simpler you go with something the easier it is to make it classy I agree. That's what yeah, I mean anytime there's

Manufacture you're adding manufactured flavors or something you're losing the I mean it gets better taste wise It's good or whatever, but it ain't classy. Not even necessarily. In theory that is why they're doing it. You know what I mean? Right, right, right, right. Sure. You don't. But hey, it is what it is. Alright, let's see. I've never thought of this. This is from Kristen. Is it garbage to throw away a beer can in the bathroom trash can?

That just never feels right when you do it. That's like you're hiding something. Yeah, it's just like toilet paper a toilet roll and then like a fucking Miller light can it don't feel right yeah that's that's got a cigarette button these are like there's no way it's class some of these are like is it neutral no one's asking is it classy what if you ever recite what if you have a recycling bin in the back you got problems? That's where your main recycling is that's crazy, then you got issues. Yeah, I would say it's your empty bean cans Refried put them in the microwave first They're not gonna heat as quick as I can use evenly

I would say it's not classy because you have Completely taken the possibility of recycling out of the picture of Wow a little it's a that's that doesn't bother I'm not I'm not great with it, but with recycling now Now aluminum cans, it's the easiest thing. I'm pretty good I'm good with but I'm not going out of my way in the home if the recycling thing's full. It's going right I throw it out the window. I apologize Look maybe for plastic cuz I don't think they really even recycle plastic

I don't think they do anything anymore is the is the actually like it's easy to actually what are they doing with that? What are they making tanks? They burn it all anyway, I don't think they look most of the stuff I think they are lying to us about 100 for sure, but I've seen them pull up and throw all this shit into the same And the same truck You want me over fucking throw it on set it on fire your get yourself an oil your own is turn your Garbage can in your bathroom on fire for all I give a fuck. I don't cycle it yourself Just crack a window. Yeah those fumes will get you. Oh yeah, Lumen McCann fumes. That'll fuck you up. I know that firsthand. Um alright, let's see

here. This was from Zach. Faithful Navy federal member is a go. Is it garbage to not acknowledge that during Christmas, your dad didn't wear his toupee for the first time in 40 years. All the kids kept asking Uncle Don, where did your hair go? That's a strong move. I respect finally letting it go. Yeah. And just go and I'm not saying shit. I'm just gonna or Yeah, I feel you got to walk in and go guys. I'm not wearing a to pay in 2025 is wild.

Especially if it's an old fashioned one because I do feel like to pay technology. I'll give you that lady. You know, those like it's again, it's like a TikTok thing where it's like they basically glue the shit on it, and the guy looks kind of good. Yeah. But if you're wearing the old-fashioned like, where you can tell the hair, it looks like there's

a squirrel on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's brutal. Now, what's the question? Is what garbage here? Is it garbage that I guess just not acknowledge, like, just the family? It's more family dynamics behavior.

If you're all sitting at Christmas dinner, some guy who's been wearing a wig for 40 years isn't wearing it. See, to me, this is like- Do you have the- I think it's a brave move on his part. Of course, and I respect him for doing it, but I think it's a dysfunctional family for him to just fucking look down at your plate and go, hey, what's new, Uncle Steve? This isn't really a garbage thing. This is like a, does your family communicate thing?

This isn't really about your, I mean is like a, does your family communicate thing? This isn't really about your, I mean, we can probably say this to my family. Welcome back to Are You Repressed? It's garbage, yeah, yeah, yeah. But there was ketchup and mashed potatoes on the table. I can guarantee you that. Yeah, I think you gotta be like, it's off.

The toupee's off. You gotta make an announcement. Hey, Uncle Bobby, you look great. Or be like, I got a haircut. That'd be funny. Come and be like, yeah. I took a lot off the top. I trimmed my hair a little bit. I'm never going back. Hey, Uncle Bobby look great or be like I got a haircut that'd be funny Off the top trim my hair a little bit Super cuts. Yeah We had a teacher do that in high school. He wore a toupee for his entire career

He's probably there for 20 years came back from Christmas break He stood out in front of his classroom why everybody came in the after every period he went out and stood in front and owned It he was beat red Beat red and just fucking just dealt with it. It's like yeah get that off over the first day second day There's a couple of jokes third day. It's like somebody shit themselves. We're moving on Well, there's that Tim Robinson sketch actually about this I think you should leave where they he's like the premise of the sketches Are you tired of where you to pay And they hire a guy in a gorilla suit

to like rip your- Your scalpel. And be like, oh no, the gorilla ripped my hair off, now I'm bald. Great sketch. Check out I Think You Should Leave. If you haven't already, folks. That's a home run.

That's great. That guy don't miss, man. No, he's so fucking funny. I recently got into Detroiters and I fucking love it. Detroiters is so fucking funny. It's so good. Like Like I talking about beers too. You have 20 beers a week. Are you counting beers too? It's a great line. It's so fucking that show The one where I'm like damn it would be awesome cuz like seeing tires I love being on it, but I love being this guy who has to be in like half the episode

Sure, Shane is there that's a lot of heavy lifting Like you know McKeever and fucking Steve. That's there You know their whole fucking lives for like there's three months of shooting plus the writing That's a lot of work and like I love doing this But it's like you see Detroiters and like you're like damn that shows so good. They got their own thing going like it's just they're so Fucking funny. I'm like it would be so funny like a Baltimore version of that but too much fucking work I come in for two three weeks get my laughs my my craft services and get the fuck out of there

yeah fucking be advantageous All right, let's see we got time for a couple more This was some Brendan $10 homie here never have one read is it garbage at my family had our family Christmas party at a bowling Alley, but no one bowled yes if you're just hanging at a bowling alley with your whole family Why wouldn't anyone bowl that's crazy. How good could the wings be? How cheap get the beers be That's nuts. That is crazy, dude Yeah

I mean maybe it's just for the space and a lot of so I mean we've been to like smaller towns and or whatever and Stuff and it's like that could just be like the affordable rental place It's not no town is so small that that's your social home. Yeah Bowling alley there's a wedding going on looks if you like bowling It's not no town is so small that that's your social home. Yeah, I don't know bowling alley There's a wedding going on looks if you like bowling I was about to be I was getting ready to jump in and be like you know what what are we fucking you know? Judging these like blue collar you want a bowl bowl yeah, but it's like I was about to be like it's fun your family loves bowling have your fucking part

Yeah, they didn't bowl is crazy It's not you went there for the ambiance you went to a bowling alley for yeah, the fucking chicken tenders and the fucking shitty popcorn That sucks Yeah, we put the shoes on though We're they all get the shoes on sliding around That's nuts slide around That's not

Although I do know there's a bowling alley in in our hometown that has a lot of space like that Yeah, I'm telling you that's do it. I've done comedy clubs We're like in like like a Liberty laughs upstate, Pennsylvania where it's like that is it's all it's in the strip mall It's like that's the bar to where like people hang out again. That's all true, but it is garbage. It is the bar too where like people hang out. Again, that's all true, but it is garbage. It is garbage. Oh, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm all about it.

I'm like, yeah. A lot of the time in college, we would go there for the, cause it was like dollar beers or something like that. And it was like, that's what- Plus the chicks. Yeah. Plus the toothless bros. I show up with a bag, there's no ball in it. I've never met anybody.

Bag full of mashed potatoes. Bring your own mashed potatoes You just spoon them to spoon it out loose from the bag I've never met anybody that worked at a bowling alley that was that was on the up and up I think that was in a good mood. Yeah, put it that way. Yeah. Yeah, honey bad though. That's a tough one I'm sure you can find another hall next year or something. Or bowl. Or bowl.

Just fucking throw some bowls. What are you doing? That's crazy. Discover another like a nice, you know, affordable alternative or discover a love of bowling. Those are your options to get out of the trash. I wouldn't be able to go to a bowling alley and not throw a couple. Of course. Throw a couple. Throw a couple.

I mean I get tired of it after like the first round but I throw a couple of course couple throw a couple I mean I get tired of it after like the first We're about yeah, that's fine. Yeah, that's I like seven friends is that no one bold Yeah, there, but you just didn't do it kind of like they all made a pact like when we get there too fucking good Yeah, we're not like the other people we don't bowl fuck out of here All right, let's see here this one's from KJerman. Is it ever okay to boo at a funeral dot dot dot? I was at a funeral and the priests mentioned what soccer team the dead person supported and someone booed I could see that happening at an eagle at like a feeling out of fun like yeah So I got he was the fellow's cowboy someone like go birds fucking pussy

Goddamn grandfather whole family full of rats You can't do that that's nuts That's nuts if you'd get a laugh. I'd go for it. Oh, I risk high reward though Hey, that's like if it works. It's not trashy, and if it doesn't, it is trashy. That guy definitely was not wearing a suit at that funeral. He was wearing jeans, maybe some bad khakis. Said a set of boots on him. Yeah. Said a Tims. Unlaced red Tims, which I saw Big Jay wearing a couple weeks ago,

which is crazy. Jay's the man for that. Shout out to Jay. For just being like, this is how I dress forever. It's 2003 forever. I think he was, the last time he was here, I asked him, what does it take for you to not wear that? To not wear the Big Jay outfit?

And he punched you. He said, he said a funeral, a wedding, that's about it. Yeah. But even when he dresses up for a funeral like I've seen pictures I was a little bit of big J. He dresses up like that guy who would be dressing up for a funeral Yeah, you know what I mean? It's got his look. What are we talking? What's the what kind of suit? What did he say? What Jane Wall was still rocking? Yeah, you gotta have ID on you

Hey gonna bolt you like We gotta wrap it up gang Stavi let's wrap it up or congrats on everything. Yeah, man Thank you so much brand new tour dreamboat tour. Please check it out guys dreamboat tour We're going on. I mean all over the place the West Coast. We start in the West Coast We'll do you know Phoenix'll go to the fucking South, parts of the Midwest, Chicago. On the bus, baby. L.A., on the bus.

Be a part of this. Doing Toronto, we're doing Vancouver, Toronto, we're hitting a couple, Canada, and then we're finishing off some stuff on the East Coast. Then the plan is to do more East Coast stuff in the fall. But please buy these tickets now. It's nothing that you've seen on either my YouTube special or the Netflix special.

It's a new hour. It's a new hour. And it's going to be a lot of fun. I love it. We love you, buddy. Yeah, man. Thank you, fellas. Check out the Dreamboat Tour.

Please go see Stavi on the road there. Kip, what do you got for him? Guys, we're announcing new dates very soon in the next week or so. So get those tickets. They're going to be available at rugarbage.com. Stavi, we love announcing new dates very soon in the next week or so. So get those tickets. They're going to be available at RUgarbage.com. Stavi, we love you. Yep. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week. Peace.