Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Cautionary Tales w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: March 27, 2025

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode talking about cautionary tales from the past, It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Buy the NEW AYG Card Game: https://areyougarbage.com Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: OpenPhone: Streamline and scale your customer communications with OpenPhone. Get 20% off your first 6 months at https://www.openphone.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hear ye, hear ye, the good people of Pittsburgh and Cleveland. The boys are coming for that back on the block tour. We added second shows and they're selling fast. Yeah, baby. April 14th, we're going to be at the Pittsburgh Improv. And then April 16th, we're going to be at Hilarities in Cleveland. Tickets are going fast. The first show sold out. Second shows now. High demand. Get the tickets. We'll see you there.

See you there. Welcome to another exciting edition of R U Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U garbage? Oh, yeah It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that I figure it to be classy They're just a big old piece of trash trash trash trash. I'm your host. They truly coming at you on a beautiful day

We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition tonight strip poker night. Okay, so we got to be out of the house All right, just heard another guy She's gonna bluff everything. Ah, we gotta be out of the house. Alright. Just hurt another guy. Ooh. She's I wondered you're gonna bluff everything. Ah, yeah, you got me. My co is coming at you from across the table. This is what we call a family

episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman and he's the king of the burbs, baby. Give it up for KJ, Kevin, James, Ryan. Yeah, how you doing? Spackling this weekend, huh?

Tim the Toolman Taylor out here. Woo! Yeah, King of the Burrows, shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also full video available now on Spotify. And apparently those numbers are cooking over there.

Doing all right over there. And obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com, such as RG Garbage. You go over there, you get all that bonus content gang. And last but not least, the new RU Garbage card game is out, available on RUgarbage.com. The third edition, the 2025 edition. And if you act now, you don't save,

you don't get a discount, so just get them. Make a move. are cooking while supplies last Yeah, so this is uh, this is pretty cool. We're stoked about it It's over I think 50 new questions some you've heard some you haven't heard some from the writers room You know some of your favorites. This is the third one. We're fucking super proud of it. Go get it You can play with your friends your family. I'm legally not allowed to say it's a drinking game, so. But it's a drinking game. Yeah, easy, does it?

I mean, they're coming after you and 30. If you get jammed up, I had nothing to do with that. We got the tape. You like getting fucked up and calling your grandmother trash? Pick up the card pack. But you had time for Easter. You got Memorial Day coming up.

I have, somebody has told me that their Dominican grandmother did not like being called this sort of. They're like, you're trash. He's like, shut up. Hitting him with a slipper or something. Like that reporter that threw the slipper at the.

I am the king of the burbs, self-appointed king of the burbs. A lot of man work I'm doing down there. Yeah? No, not really. That was mostly a photo op. I had my cousin Michael come through. What room, this is all for the nursery. Doing the nursery.

What room is that in the house? That's a garage. What do you mean? It's a goddamn bedroom. Is it a bedroom upstairs? Yeah. How many bedrooms is that house? You ask a lot of questions.

What is that, a three bedroom? It's a four. Including the in-law suite. Sure. So you got three bedrooms upstairs. One for you. Uh-huh. An office. Sure. And now the baby. These are a lot, I mean listen, there's not a lot of furniture in any of these rooms. There are a lot of nondescript rooms with my dirty socks in them. So what did you... A bed for Hans. What did you decide on which room for the baby? Because that's big. That's gonna be his room. Mm in him. So, what did you a bed for Hans? What did you decide on? Which room for the baby?

Cuz that's big. That's gonna be his room. Mm hmm. You know what I mean? Yeah. Did you pick a good one for him? I don't know. I don't know. What's the difference between a good room and a boy? In Foleyville, quick pit stop in Foleyville. Is it

far away from your room? Yeah. Well, the way the house is so he's in high school, he can have broads over. The way the house is set up, there's no fault. You go up the stairs and all four doors come off that. There's no like down the hall. Does he have a window? Yeah, he's got a window.

What's the crank heaters out there? What can he get out that window onto the roof and then sneak down and go meet his boys? Great. Sure. Yeah. Uh huh. He get away. Yeah. Also, like, go sneak out. Go. I don't care. Take the car. As a baby? Just fill it up. Fill up the gas tank. I don't care. Baby shouldn't be driving. What do you want from me? Kids these days, you know? Okay. Alright. Just cause that's big. I had to do some spackle. This is like also a very garbage thing that I've realized. Man, I was cursing the previous owner of this house. Got a lemon. Ah, just like he tried to do work himself, it looks like. Like I would do it, you know what I mean?

In this room. Not good. Just like the train, I think he did the windows himself, them things are lumpy as a mofo. Ugh. Yeah, you know. Put them in himself? I don't know, it's a lot of.

You gotta sand all that shit down. Thanks, guy. Sand it down, you prime it. Listen, you're talking to the king of the burbs, I know. Okay, I know this. a lot of. You gotta sand all that shit down. Thanks guy. What do you think? Sand it down. Listen, you're talking to the king of the burbs. I know. Okay, I know this. I'll come down and help you. Listen, these delusions of grandeur you have about being handy. Although a lot of people, I did not expect it, commented on the picture I posted. I didn't realize I was barefoot on a ladder. Someone's like, dude I was barefoot on a ladder. When someone's like, dude, your bare first guy was like your barefoot on a ladder.

You have plump calves too. I got, yeah, heavy. You have turkey breast calves. Sure. Turkey legs. No, golden oven, turkey breast. Yeah. Like in Deets and Watson's talk about bone in. Yeah. Tomahawk kippy. So this happened. So I got a picture here I want to show you.

This is, as you know, we're getting the house ready to the house and the burbs ready, but this is in the house. It's one of those things that you never know, like things start breaking a little bit, not breaking, but like, ah, there's an issue, we have a piece of furniture in the hallway in New York. And it started slipping a lot.

That's weird. That drawer doesn't close, you know, whatever. What? We got to get on that. You have a credenza in the hallway. No, it's just like a chest of drawers. OK, whatever. I don't know what they're calling a tall, narrow thing of drawers. That's like the chest. Is it chest chest of drawers? A chest of. Oh, I thought it was Chester, like thing of drawers. That's not the chest. Is it chest chest of drawers, a chest of. Oh, I thought it was Chester, like Chester drawers.

I am. Check it was my father was Chester drawers. It's chest of drawers. Is that true? Chest of drawers. Yeah, it is a chest of drawers. That doesn't sound right. I don't understand how that doesn't sound right to you. A chest of drawers. Yeah, like a wooden like it like it like a treasure chest. That's a chest and this is a chest of drawers

Okay, you have one of those in your hallway. I tell you you're getting bogged down on the yeah tall skinny one We have in the hallway. What's in there? Toiletry stuff bathroom stuff. Okay, cuz we don't have like a medicine cabinet. There's no like, I got some, you know, dish, not dish, like hand towels or whatever in there and my toiletry, my hair product, my tweezers, my beard trimmer, her makeup. It just sounds a little trashy. You got to fucking. Well, wait till you see the picture. It's not, hold on, hold on, hold on.

It's not trashy. It's, it's in New York. It's a one bedroom New York apartment. That's all we got. There's it's a New York. It's a one bedroom New York apartment. That's what we got There's nowhere else to put it. Uh So there's like a little cubby in the hallway where we put this thing But the bottom drawer had like not closed properly and I know I'll get to it. It's Ikea Nah, but it's not that far off. Did you put it together yourself? Uh, no, you buy it off Facebook Marketplace I genuinely forget where we got it.

It came assembled? I don't remember. I swear to God I don't remember. Let's see this thing. We might have had one of the handy guys put it together or something. But this is what it's... It looks like bad teeth. Dude,

It's like a 5.5 magnitude earthquake right there. What the fuck? I know! looks like bad teeth. Dude. That looks like a 5.5 magnitude earthquake right there. What the fuck? I know. What do you mean you know? What happened? Ah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

The bottom one, okay. That looks like a John Wick style fight happened moments before this picture was taken. I do too. What the fuck is that? I walked, I turned the corner, and like so the bottom one had went. Wait, hold on.

This is the way, like I come hold on this is the way I come in That's the way it looks well not anymore, but that's what it was looking like yeah, we were I just replaced it How wait that? That's insane. I know I'm well aware. That's why I took a picture of it So you can shit so it was like that for a day or two to the point where I turn the corners like this is It's how did it fall apart? I mean that they're not even closing dude Look at the tip on the bottom the one to the third one It's like going in like that you see the bottom one under the one that's hanging

I mean you really undersold that that thing's a mess. So listen the broken for sure dude for sure What is that a sleeping bag in there? They were like bath towels. They were in the dust. Why are they all ripped out like that? Because it won't close. They won't close. So you stuff them in there like, how about putting less stuff in there? I mean that looks like you were running...

That looks like we were robbed. The feds tossed the place. Uh huh. No, so this is what happened. This all escalated within about 48 hours. Right? So the bottom one wasn't closing. We're like, what the fuck? I'm like, what the fuck?

So I'm looking and then... Otherwise, the rest of them were normal. Everything was lined up. 48 hours ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I swear to God. Building 7 lined up. 48 hours ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I swear to God. Building seven didn't fall on its own.

I mean, that's insane. Steel doesn't burn, dude. So listen, so the bottom one, we took the drawers out to clean. And I guess when I was taking the bottom one out, I roughly shimmed it. Got it off the hinges. I hear fuck. No, so, you know how like this stuff It's like that shitty particle board that popped in with the with this the little wooden on the bottom It's the worst and if that popped out you're done, right? So the bottom one sell the house They fell like it that fucking tower appease it do this thing. So the bottom one I'm going what the fuck

I'm gonna and it would it, it wouldn't stay on the tracks, it would drop to the bottom. So I go, ah, I gotta look at that, but it's always like, I'm running out, I'm like, I gotta look at it this weekend. And then dude, that was like Tuesday. And then by fucking Thursday, I turned the corner and I went, babe, we look like crackhead.

We look like we're squatters. We have to get like this is. So the second one from the bottom went then they all they were all being Propped up. It was a puppet regime That's horrible, right? I was like this is we have to get rid of this because then we were gonna wait for a new one But I'm like now we Don't can't come over and see this if you would you can't go in there with a screwdriver and tighten that up or guy Don't you think I would have thought I don't know what you did. It looks

like you're fucking trying to throw it out the window. I mean, that's crazy. It looks like I found it in a dumpster. Wait, so you so those towels are where they live. Like that's how you kept it in there. What do you mean? Were you trying to fix it when you took this picture. Is that that was like I was going to the bathroom and saw that. That's crazy, right? Try folding the towels. They said it's

stuffing them in there. They weren't stuffed. That's what you're not getting. That's stuffed. That's not folded. Because it doesn't close. So, they've they've ripped up. You got too many in there. Listen, hold on, guy. You're getting

bogged down on the wrong details. That's trying to push it closed. The other drawer doesn't let it close. There was only two towels in there and they would slide in. But since the other drawer, as you see, is impeding the closure of it, because that's down at a 45-degree angle pointing down, that's like a tooth going in there. Yikes. That's tough, right? No, it looks good.

I mean, it's since been replaced, but that's how we right? No, looks good. I mean, it's it's it's since been replaced but that's a that's how we were living for and I I listen, I'm not I'm not defending myself here. This is indefensible but that was the bottom one went. I was like,

I'll I'll take a look at it. Maybe I can hit it with the drill and tighten it back up and then they all just Jesus Christ. Felt like Domino's. The paint looks nice. Floors look clean. Those towels look ratty though. Yeah. Mine

ain't mine. We had to get those. We got new towels too. Things were tough. It looks like you're trying to roll them. No. Instead of folding them. You're getting too bogged down on the placement of the that's not how we keep the towel. That is how you keep the towels.

No, that's me trying to close the drawer, the drawer above it, not letting it close and pushing the towels out. That's not how the towels are kept. Okay. Listen, that you're upset about the towels out of this whole thing. That's crazy. And the other empty room behind it. You just can't see the bed.

Okay. Money maker. What a magic happen. That's actually outside And the other empty room behind it. You just can't see the bed. Okay. Money. Magic hat. That's actually outside on a park bench. I like a boy. Take a peek. Yeah, that's pretty bad dog. That's jammed the fuck up. That's another door right there.

Where's that? That goes into the bathroom. Okay. All right. Now that makes sense. I thought this was like on the way out to the front door like in that. I kept my toiletries there. I don't know what the fuck. I don't know what you're way out to the front door like in my toiletries there

I don't know what to find. I don't know what you're doing over there. Hey listen point. Thank you listen I'm pushing back surprises that dishes and shit in there. That's what's within the third. It's in the third Speaking of which I'd love to be in a position where I know this is a very old sexually. This is an old-school thing Okay, but to have like the Plates and dishes in the dining room like old school. What do you mean? like for a second

we had a dining room at our house in Wilkes-Barre and My mom had like a look like a briefcase of like China of good silverware I don't know what happened though it probably got hot. A briefcase? It's what it looks like is a briefcase. Okay. And it was sitting next to the China cabinet which had the nice dishes in there that they got from their wedding sure that we weren't allowed to use now they throw them in the microwave and all that stuff yeah yeah something It's something, no, it's not. It doesn't have the new codes. That's not the briefcase.

Dude, his parents would have scrapped that thing and sold it for the stainless. Got whatever they could get for stainless out of it. Something like that's got two million in cash in it. Sure. That's handcuffed to someone's hand. So you want to do that? I don't know. I was watching Seabiscuit the other day and it was nice.

When Red's parents had money in the beginning, they got a plate and put it down. Yeah, I look nice. Sure. Nice to have that. That's rich guy shit. Maybe it was Bridge of Spies. I can't remember. Busy weekend. Alright, well Sounds like things are going well Did you spackle the holes up? Yeah, I spackled spackled look good. What color you gonna paint the kids room? It's painted He just spackled. Yeah, that's bad. That's like 30 minutes back on now. No, but you gotta paint over that now Just said it was painted. What are you talking about? Guy who clear doesn't know how to spackle we talking to you talking to the gig in a bur you talking about? You painted after you back. Hey, guy who cleared us on how to spackle. We talking to you. You talking to the king of

burp. You spackle first, then you paint. So, you spackled, then paint at the room. What color did you paint it? Am I having a stroke here? Yeah, blue. Okay. What color would you paint a boy's room? I put some race cars or something

like that. I hope. What color would the walls be? I don't know. Blue. Maybe. And it burns sesame Very nice you get the crib Ordered ordered uh-huh. What'd you go with I forget just using those drawers I got the drawers Cramer repurpose it You don't need more than that Okay, let's talk about open phone shut up open the open phone gang. Gang, if you're running a business these days you know that every missed call is leaving cash on the table. When a

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customer communications. It works through an app on your phone or your computer, so no more carrying around two phones like a bozo which I was doing up until open phone but I think I am streamlined. Your team can share one number collaborate on customer calls like text and a shared inbox baby. Open phone is offering our listeners 20% off your first six months at openphone.com slash garbage. That's open phone o p e n p h o

n e.com slash garbage. And if you have an existing number with another service, OpenPhone will port them over at no extra charge because they take care of you over there. OpenPhone. No missed calls. No missed calls. No missed customers. Do it. This is a Reese's Peanut Butter Cubs sound experiment. We're looking to find the perfect way to hear Reese's. So you'll buy more of them.

Here we go. Reese's. Reese's. Reese's. Reese's. Reese's. Hey, get out of here, you little stinker! Reese's.

Reese's. Reese's. Peanut butter cups. That breathy one sounded very creepy, am I right? I got a goddamn family episode gang, as you know, when you sign up for Patreon, we will answer your question on the air. Got two tree humdingers here. This one, alright, this is from Kirk, first time, long time.

As an notoriously fast eater, is it garbage to order yourself a personal pizza once you're done your entree so you have something to eat while your wife finishes up her meal? If it helps, she's completely okay with it. Very, very good ques- very, very strong predicament. I happen to be in this predicament just this weekend. What? To be honest with you. Not with the personal bent pizza. UNC biscuit? I think it need some notes. You're going to finish that cornmeal boy.

Split a half an apple with him. Uh huh. Uh I went out to dinner with the bird and Patty. Great place down there from the boot. Shout out to it. Delicious roasted garlic from the boot from the boot. The name of the judge real fucking Philly, Guinea. They do it.

So where is a couple locations? This one's over near where Patty lives. boot. From the boots. The name of the giant. That's real fucking Philly, Guinea shit. They do it so good. Where is it? Couple locations. This one's near, over near where Patty lives. Um but they got, they got a couple locations. I got one over in Ambler. They got one I think on uh in Lafayette Hill or something like that. I don't know but delicious. Anyway, um we got some calamari and some wings. Alright, I had a bit of a late lunch. The girls got to- Eating wings with your mom seems crazy to me, dude.

I don't know why. I've definitely ordered wings, but like me and my brother and my mom- Save the flats for me. Yeah. I don't know, just, you know, order wings, is that range? Order wings with,

sweet wings with your mom. No, they do this blue cheese sauce. That's fucking unbelievable. It's crazy good. Oh, is this from the cheese sauce. That's fucking unbelievable. It's crazy How is this from the boot? It's from the boot who picked up the check here. What do you mean? I don't know with you. I did. Okay. I always pick up the check for Patty Uh-huh playing the long con on her sure a little bit cash Straighten me out a couple of them

Look at the wings. It'm going to keep running a nursing home. 44 bucks. It's a nice place. She's delicious. Christ delicious. What's they got a chicken parm and no chicken parm sandwich. They have a chicken parm on there. No, they do not go up. They don't.

Oh, parmesan right there. Thank god. I'm going to send my chicken colored Italian. I'm going to call the health inspector. Uh. Go in there and shut them down. But uh I just going sound crazy, but they do a great house salad All right with the homemade balsamic vinaigrette and I would that be crazy me eating a house salad as an entree With crumbled blue cheese and croutons. It's awesome. So I got that as a hot sauce and wings

No chicken parm on top and I got that as a as an entree with some some grilled shrimp on it. All right, but they had big pasta plates. So I was done. And I was just kind of sitting there sipping a nice tea. Uh huh. And I didn't like it. I'm under your breath. A little bit. Look, I get it. Listen, I have to wrap this up. So I do respect this move. I, I. Because you can't just be sitting there. I listen. I totally agree with you. But how would you would you order it at the same time or would you order it after? I So I do respect this move. Because you can't just be sitting there. I listen, I totally agree with you. But how would you order it at the same time?

Or would you order it after? You got to order it at the same time. Because if you order, you got to think that's going to be at least 15 minutes until it comes out. So you're sitting there with your dick in your hand. If you would have asked me this maybe like a month ago, I would have told you something different. But I also learned a lesson when me, you and Ryan D

went out and got a bite to eat in Austin because I was the only one that had a second. I had three courses because I got a soup after the appetizer course. I had a soup and you guys were sitting there. You guys were sitting there and I was eating my soup, which I didn't finish because I felt pressured so I pushed that aside. It was a lobster bistro. It was delicious. I was going to put it in my soup which I didn't finish because I felt pressured. So, I pushed that aside. It was a lobster

bistro. It was delicious. So, I would probably order it when the guy came back. I think. I think on this. I would like halfway through the entrees. I would say, hey, why don't you throw me in a personal pan pizza? I got one. I I would do it as the

food gets dropped. Okay. Hey, by the way, you might throw in a personal pan pizza. We're going to split it. On a side note. Hey, by the way, you might throw in a personal pan pizza. We're going to split it on a side. Hey, on a side note, how do you feel about the, uh, let's say you the bird. I don't know. Denise go out to dinner, but your brother's at the house. I don't know watching the dog. Okay.

It's a weird system. We got going on here, but I'm listening. Are you okay If you miss dinner, you miss dinner. I don't disagree. I'm not bringing you something back. Sure. Because that way, we got someone at the house. Can you just, and then that doesn't come out in time

and you're waiting around or it comes out to where... I think it's fine. I mean, I think it's probably more, it's more normalized now, I would assume. I would assume people like Luke have known. My mommy does it for me every time. Yeah. Really?

Like, if they, say if you're... I can watch my programs at home and then I get a nice meal when they get back. So if you're at the house in Connecticut and they're like, we're going out to dinner, why don't you just go to dinner with them? Now I usually do, but like, you know, end of college kind of. I'm playing video games! Yeah, no shit. You son of a bitch. Yeah, that was never all... No.

But if we didn't go to dinner, you weren't fucking... If you got some leftovers, you were lucky. And it was someplace. That was usually a system. Also, if my parents were going to dinner, mom, stepdad, stepmom, or stepdad, or dad, they're leaving, and I'm staying at the house. I'm getting $20 to order a za.

Sure. Sure. But naturally, they would just bring back some. Yeah, if there was leftovers. You weren't getting what they were getting. See, that's funny. That's the difference between. I think it's an age difference between how you grew up and how we grew up. This is also later in life, to be honest.

This is probably fucking 18 months ago. No, but if my parents were going out to... There was dinners that we would get to go to, that we would go out to as a family, if the cousins were all going, but then there were also dinners that my parents would go out to. It would usually be a little nicer of A joint they'd go with another couple and those times. I would sometimes get a meal after that's crazy. Yeah, you fucking For evil yeah, no never I would never man kids are picking through some old spare ribs that my dad's little burrata You get appetizers

They're dropping on me you're like, can more bread please? That's crazy. That's fucked up dude. Great question. Great question. Respect the move. On the, in the same world of pizza, Foley's Ozempi,

Foley's Ozempi dealer, first time, long time, are you garbage if you eat pizza while driving? My wife thinks this is crazy to eat a large pie with the box on the dash on my way home from work. P.S. I drive a PT Cruiser by the way. Yikes. pizza while driving. My wife thinks this is crazy to eat a large pie with the box on the dash on my way home from work. PS, I drive a PT Cruiser, by

the way. Yikes. I mean, listen. Pets on the pizza. What's the flop situation? How hot is it? I don't think. What's the oil? I would say no. That's a pizza. Listen, I'm a I'm a fat ass. I like eating in a car. I like eating. I love pizza. Flatbread free. King of the burbs. No big deal. King of the boards. You know all of this.

Shout out Sam's Pizza. But I as somebody who's eating pizza in the car, typically like a slice, I'll get a slice. You know, if we were like driving down the shore to Philly to see my mom or whatever, I'd get us and I we were starving. I'd get a slice in the neighborhood and like eat it in like a couple of minutes. But you're not driving. I'm driving. Oh, you're driving driving Yeah, she was like hold it and I would like just fucking I'm like scarfing it just to get something in my belly I'm messing drive on an empty stomach pizza is a very very very very strong bite and sip combo and it's a two It's a two-handed dish. Yeah, unless you get like you get a dollar slice. It's pretty crisp

I knew crushing it, but it's still you're holding the plate, you're holding the fucking slice. I would say it's trashy. I mean no one's eating otherwise people be doing it more. No one's eating a fucking large pizza off the dashboard. That's fucking trash. Is the pizza

for the rest of the family when you get home? Is he going home to dinner with the family? Large pie. It's gotta be. So he's showing up with a with the half eating pie or three slices taken out? That's no good.

Oh my dad would have freaked out. That's no good Yeah, I would say you shouldn't be do a slice if you're like I'm jammed up and you live next to a pizza place And you're hopping in the car that I'll give you very on brand for the PT Cruiser driver I gotta give you that I do I will agree with you on that Shout out to that as much as I've been in cars with pizza like on my you never we never know Never I don't think I would feel rude showing up even if I was going home Like even to like my wife if I was just picking up a pie and coming home as a fat kid I would have been real suspect if my dad would have been nibbling on a slice

I would have been real so what's this you open it up, and there's one missing a piece of crust in there Yeah, I don't like that. I take it back the fuck you giving me a fucking have eaten za for bro. Yeah, I don't like that at all Uh, I this one seven days a week ten dollar. OG ever drink coffee in a regular cup Yeah for some reason it's weird. Love it. I Love it hot coffee. Yeah, I'm like a pint glass Get your milk in there. It's not bad. Usually don't fill it up all the way. Yeah, I get it. I mean, soda out of a coffee cup is the more important question. That's that's given delicious at that point. Pack it with ice. No, the other way is coffee out of another cup is trash. I agree. Because a coffee man.

I remember you never there's not enough fucking not enough soda in a coffee cup. But that's what I like about it. Now it's like edging. You got to do it. So you do you keep doing multiple cups. What am I a fucking asshole? Of course you do. Because I thought you don't get enough.

Your sip regulation is it norm. You're not taking normal sips because you'll I Ain't for me. That's all I'm saying seem far. It seems European. I would crush the first one I would be doing this under the Assumption that the two-liter or the soda was right next to me where I could constantly for sure But I don't like that then I'm not in a normal rhythm of eating and drinking. I don't mind it I'm refilling the sips of eating and drinking. I don't mind it. I'm refilling. The

sips aren't the same. Cuz I told you, our wrestling coach used to get us Wawa Orange drink every morning at practice and it would be in the refrigerator when we got done practice and that was like it was it was like mother's milk

but we only were allowed to drink it out of little Dennis cups. It was like you could you could have as much as you want but you had to drink it out of that and it was actually oddly satisfying sure you are a bit of a freak. Yeah All right, this is for my mom's name is Bernie $10 Donator towards the big man's tongue reduction never have one read take a lot of shit from my tongue. That's a big tongue Start laughing different. Yes. Don't wall me over the whole show

Tongue. Start laughing different. Just don't wall me over the whole show. That's interesting. LOL. That's a good point there. BRB. Is it garbage to claim someone in your family knows a celebrity because your dad's cousin was the cellmate of Tex from the Manson Murders? That's I don't know who. Find out who Tex was. He was the guy. He was Austin Butler.

Ah, the main dude. Damn, that's him. Charles Watson, Charles Tex Watson is a murderer, this central member of the Manson family led by Charles Manson. Damn more of a Marilyn Manson. The people, the beautiful people. You ever see when him and the guy getting a fight on stage? Who?

The man, Marilyn Manson and his guitar player. They're getting into a big fight. Twiggy or Ziggy? Yeah, they look like two chicks scratching at each other. Is it like recent Manson? I don't know. I don't know, I just saw the clip. Uh, yeah, that's, I mean, listen, that's part of a...

That's not a celebrity. That's infamous. That's not fame, that's infamy celebrity. That's algorithm getting close from 2003 and a lot of Gazunga. It's nuts. It's nuts. My Twitter feeds even worse. I can imagine probably doesn't help what I'm clicking on. Sick twisted guy you are. Alright, let's see. This one's from Uncle Ray. Very food heavy Uncle Randy $10. OG Hoagie never have one red is a garbage

to order a side of mashed potatoes with ravioli and meatballs. When I was a kid, my grandparents would take me to dinner and let me get whatever I wanted. That was my pick every time. That is a heavy bike meal. The raviolis is what's throwing me off. Really? Yeah, because I mean, dude, Upstate PA anytime there was a family function, there was, you know, in the Sterno trays were out, there was meatballs, there was like, you know, chicken cacciatore or, you know,

chicken marsala, but there was always mashed potatoes and coleslaw. 100%. I get it. I'm with it. Dude, meatballs and mashed potatoes is great. I've done it as just heavy. That's a heavy, that's a heavy weekend, dude. Some ravioles.

I mean, we do it at Christmas, yeah. I mean, the Christmas. I mean, Christmas, it gets catered because there's so many of us, it's just like a shitty caterer in fucking Philly. It's so good, though. And it's just the sterno, chafing dishes over. Meatballs, do penne, do you do penne?

Sure. You do a little penne? That penne was always real dry. A little bit of mashed potato? Whoo. That penne was dry as shit. Yeah. Not soupy at all. No, that's not even soupy. Um Yeah, that's tough. That's uh, that's a hard one

I've told you before my aunt I remember one time I had took me my little fat ass out to breakfast one time and I ordered pancakes and a bagel Here down the shore we run a marathon You're down the shore and we run a marathon Carbohydrate and I was like, how about you get a bowl of fruit? And I was like, yeah, whatever you say lady. You go for it. I ain't gonna you guys are fruit loops I was like I'm gonna fucking touch it. I Didn't know that that's where my love affair with carbs started man There was nothing wrong with crashing a short crushing a short stack and a poppy seed baggie Man when the ants calling you out. Yeah, slow down. Still brings it up

How about a black cup of coffee and a grapefruit? But you mind your own fucking have you tried smoking cigarettes? Why you mind your own business? Let me get a Western to go Giving you diet pills. Ah And I love meatballs and mashed potatoes though. I'll tell you that right now you're not getting your diet potatoes. Just Italianified. All spaghetti sauce really is is a sauce. That's basically meatloaf. That's meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Okay. I don't know why you're what? No, I would argue that's also very I'm not that's fine. I'm it's a heavy it's a heavy. No, but they they they dance together.

They go together. Listen, I'm not saying they're not. Who's you know they don't they're not on very many menus. Give me that. Will you give me that? What meatballs and mashed potatoes? Don't end up on a lot of you're not going down to Carbone's down on Sullivan Street and getting fucking meatballs and mashed potatoes. OK, guy. Fair enough. I listen. I have I have it every year. It does not feel right when you're doing it.

You feel like you're being a naughty little boy every year. It does not feel right when you're doing it. You feel like you're being a naughty little boy with a side of slaw. No, thank you. No good. Couple dinner. Couple dinner rolls. Oh, buddy. You're speaking my life. I love

nothing like a **** big **** bowl of dinner rolls. Man. Love ain't never even batted an eye at one of them salads I would assume you stay away from the soup if it's offered in those situations I don't mind with this to put that salad it's like I did it sucks when you gotta stay when you're stuck in front of it because like it's always the first a lot of times it's the first thing and I'm just waiting to get to the attendees in the fries or whatever's done at the end but I a lot of times I'll

bust a button hook around then did the guy Doing a pro to upset. I had a salad for what's got the cellophane over top Hospital food Yeah, I said the colonoscopy get out of here with this. Mm-hmm the meatballs. Oh That's nice though Grandparents probably want to eat that a go fall asleep you fat little bastard Be asleep in the car. Uh-huh not a ravioli guy. Can I tell you that have I told you this? I mean, I just want to call me a lot of your food opinions. I just want to go on record now

I'm not crazy about the just cheese ravioli now. They do the specialty ones like a pumpkin ravioli That doesn't get there. Oh. I like that as a side. As a side? Jesus Christ. This guy's got problems. You want a big ravioli for the table? There was a time, I don't know why, but my mom, Denise's freezer was chock full of bags of frozen raviolis. They, some happened, something happened. Those were probably late 90s. Yeah, somebody started selling them.

Like, um. Market day or something, I think we would get them. I don't know, we would just get bags. Is that like something from school? Yeah. Yeah. We'd get bags of them. Yeah. And I.

In the sheets, they were in like little square, it looked like a book. No, those were the stuffed shells. Yes. Which I learned my those just man the outside we get they took 55 minutes and has a fucking fat 11 year old in the home home alone. I never that might as well been 10 days. I never understood that when they would make baked ziti. Everything was cooked. Throw that shit in there for 10 minutes. But you got to wait 45 minutes

till it's done. Yeah, it's already cooked. But that **** in there for 10 minutes. Be like, oh, you gotta wait 45 minutes till it's done. Yeah. It's already cooked. But I've I've my mom showed me how to make raviolis one time. She said, you can make these when I'm at work. Man. Crushing a bag of I like a for a fat what a family of five would do. I would do at 430 PM on a Tuesday home alone. Pre-dinner. Pre-dinner, two liter Coke, just go and TRL, my jams on. Watching that Carson Daly and Fred Durst. Yeah, tough man,

just crushing a bag. And I remember, this is my problem with anything. As a larger gentleman, I'm sure you can attest to this. Sure. I get into it with my wife of like well you know let's say I'm making eggs. Okay. And there's four eggs. Right. A typical meal for me would be three eggs. Okay. But I'm not gonna put one egg back in the thing that's just jamming up to work. You've been down this road before my friend. The fourth egg. Same thing with the raviolis. Let's say there's

10 raviolis. I'm gonna have six. There's not a full dose for me tomorrow. I might as well you know, because then I'm going to go into the freezer the next day. 10 raviolis is crazy. I didn't have the salad. You I'm going to go in the next day and four isn't going to scratch the it. So then it's four in a bowl of cinnamon toast crunches. And then that's not a meal. That's an odd pairing.

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The marriage of them, what? I'm a tortellini man. You could really go nuts with those. Those pre-made ones? Yeah, because you can't figure out. That was never my. Just dump the whole nuts with those. Those pre-made ones? Yeah, because you can't figure out that was never my. Just dump the whole bag in there. Pre-

made pasta with stuff in it might as well have been like the richest thing to buy to me as a kid. Remember when you started seeing the fresh pasta in like the grocer's aisle? I've never touched that. I that's like. Eight million

dollars. Yeah. That's like breaking case of emergency type thing. You never touched that never understood it Why it wasn't hard or what the difference was but now they have any preservatives? No now they have them in bags Which are pretty good. I've had those raviolis in bags. I can't think of the name. It looks like a bag of cookies They're not bad I'll do it. I guess don't make me this one's from hammer training $10 Homi never had one read ever drive your car really fast to drive it off after going through a car wash. That's just fun

Whoo cuz you do see it start running back. It's great. That's all right. I never think I just got the car wash this weekend I never think it's gonna get like you'll be two seconds away from getting out of the car wash You really that's all soap all over it. There's no way this is all gonna get off. Sure as shit. Yeah. That's a smart guy who designed those things. Sure.

Car washes. Genius. Johnny Carwash did that. Is that right? Yeah. Rana was the brand, Luke. You had it up. Alright, well, let me see.

The pasta brand? Yeah. Oh, should you go to the pasta brand? Rano Rana. Great. Oh, yeah, that bag. Is that emerald on air? No, man, I saw emerald. He's all I love. I mean, emerald emerald live. Bam. He's popping up on social media.

Yeah, he looks old. These old old guys cranking it out, though. I know what Giovanni All right, let's see this was a $10 haggis hoagie never have one red Are you garbage if you get your little brother to phone up your work to say your dad's falling from a roof to get out? of a drug test This guy's definitely from the UK or something. I ever have them fed up work and out to get out of a drug test. This guy's definitely from the UK or

something. I ever have him phone up work. Hello. Me pa fell off the roof. Wait, you have your little brother do it? Yeah, hey, is Jimmy there? It's an emergency. Dad fell off the roof. When you're about to get hit. That's great. I thought

you meant have him call in like why you're not going to be there. That's genius I mean, I was my take get me out like you're there They find out they're doing drug tests you text your brother get me to fuck out of here fat Only thing out of that's family or medical emergency fake your appendix being burst, but then they gotta see that through They gotta go in and go poking around. I don't think I've ever used the appendix before I've used hernias before. That's a tough one because that ends in surgery. You can't, you gotta prove that.

Nah, it went away. I'm good. Paint your face yellow or something. You ever know anybody had their appendix out? Yeah. Really? Dan Ryan. No kidding.

Thought it was gas for a while. He was like, he was like a couple hours away from. It burst in? If it burst, you're dead, right? I think it had burst, but like if you don't get that soon enough the bile Whatever, I don't know. I don't know. I'm not a doctor here, but That was always trashy appendix yeah appendix ruptured Yeah, that was always like that's like the scary one

Yeah. Appendix ruptured. Yeah, that was always like that's like the scary one. Sure. I want to get you taking appendix over kidney stones. Rose hurt. Sure. I mean, I was I don't want either one of them. You got to be honest. But you don't need surgery. Maybe you do. No, I think they pass or they'll give you stuff to like break them down till they can pass fuck that I got a little wiener. Yeah, so it's out quicker bing

There you go. Everything's coming up big man breaking windows Now my little hole is tighter I Think all the holes are about the same I don't I don't think the length has anything to do with the hole sure it does I don't I would assume are all your you spelled urethra wrong Let me get an eyes real Google heavy I know You get yeah now you guys can see it though. That's the problem. Hmm that guy's hung like a horse He's in that diagram that ain't real. That guy's the length of your wiener is anything to do with the size of the spout

I was emotion of the Get plenty of work done still Get the world to know what it says All right, let's see here This is from Tim first time long time Is it garbage to slide down the handrail when walking down steps? Looks cool when you get it right, but if you don't it's bozo city. I've never I Don't know. I've never had the body to be like I'm gonna be that guy

I had a staircase in our first house where my brother could do it. I tried it on this butt I mean there would be as a kid. I think I would go down. Yeah, like would slide down like a fireman. Yeah Yeah, I mean if you're an adult doing that that's yeah, that's crazy Hey, you're you're you're either a take it ever see the guys go down fucking the the railings Like if it's a set of stairs like in like a whole like a like a hallway. It's you slide down. Oh, no. You don't know what I'm talking about.

Like firemen do it and shit like that. Or like army guys. They can hold both railings and slide down. Yeah, something in their hands or something. No, they just have like a loose grip. You slide down the things. Oh, Corey. Oh, I couldn't do it. No, you know, you don't say.

Now, I know the arm strength. And the first time I tried to slide down the railing at my house, I went right over. My brother could do it as a kid. I remember. Good. I remember being like, I went into my mouth. You do not. He didn't care if he fell. Sure. Use a couple hits and a noggin.

I could slide down my stairs. Like sit on my butt and slide down the stairs. Oh, quite the athlete. He could fall. Up until I was like 13, I went up the stairs on both hands and feet. Why? I don't know. I was just big on that as a kid. That's how I would climb the stairs. I'd be hunched over and I'd crawl up like a dog. All tired from all those mashed potatoes. Well, sleepy. Sleeping on the landing. I used to sleep on a landing all the time.

So did my dog Rusty. Really? Son used to come in right above the door. It's great. Yeah. My aunt's house at the top of the stairs was like a little cutout. You might be a dog. Maybe. And I had a box.

You drink out of the toilet. I had a box of toys for my older cousins and like she would be upstairs clean. And I had to be on the same floor with her. Otherwise, I'd be getting in trouble rooting through the fridge. They get into a rice pudding. So I had to I had to stay on the landing and play. You're heading to Turkey. What the hell are you doing? I can't say!

I had to lay on the landing and play with my toys. Used to take nice naps there. Out like a light. A weird kid. Wake me up for lunch. I remember being at my grandfather's house Now I don't really remember. I mean I'm ever there's so many cousins There's so many grandkids then like so many people have like a relationship with their grandparents Or it's like I one of three or whatever five right where they where I at this point

I mean I was born there was kid there. We knew him there was dudes They were like 40 then he you know what I mean like I? Mean I was born there was kidder Lee knew him there was dudes that were like 40 that he you know what I mean like I remember one time I was staying with him and the house was they lived in South Jersey and like I was also to that would blew my mind. They lived down the shore, but not on They live like inland You know I feel like we're going to the money, but we're going down the shore And I wanted to be like there's trees everywhere lady This is not down the friggin. It's a harbor shit cut

Ht uh I remember being like what and we were in the I was close with them and everything but like not does not to the level I see my mom has with my nieces and nephews right you're like oh, that's fucking you know There's fucking 25 of us running around. He calls you Denise's son Yeah, you don't know they were they were awesome But I remember one point he was like he had food out on the table like for dinner for him And he was making I don't know what it was like I was at his house, and he had like leftovers

It was like it might as well been from another planet to a six-year-old liverwurst. Yes I was like don't go like as a joke. He's like don't go eat in my dinner I want to be like, buddy, you're secret safe with me. Were you guys staying for dinner? I don't even want to be in the kitchen. What? Were you staying for dinner or you were leaving? I was just there. I don't remember the day. I was six. I was just there. I don't know if they were watching me or if we were just staying. There was a lot of times we stayed there. You probably heard about the raviolis. These kids gonna be all over my shit treating it like jail talk about a dog. He's got to put it up on a high shelf I tell you about begging he's slapping your snap under the table

Yeah, I tell you about feeding the Kevin from the table I Yeah. What'd I tell you about feeding the Kevin from the table? I remember sweating in that office. That's where I had like a convertible couch. One of those like 80s convertible couches. Brutal. It was probably new then, you know. Yeah, it was new. And I remember they wouldn't cut the air on for fucking nothing. Goddamn company. It'd be August in your inland. It'd be August in

your inland. It'd be **** No breeze at all. Nothing but you and the skeeters. Why are you looking at the pine barrels? It always sucks. Send it out. When the AC wasn't on but the window would be open and it seemed like the air was going

out. You don't know what's happening. Wouldn't break the barrier to get inside the room. Man, dying for some trade wins. Jesus Christ. Praying a clipper came through. Uh-huh, just wanting something, dude. Just being like, I gotta physically change how I feel. There's no way I'm sleeping. I used to think that at six, seven years old. No way. Man, I was always looking for snakes in this backyard too. We're a lot of brush. Pine needles and brush.

Who way? Uh-uh. A weird set of kids down there that I had to like see. Who are you? Oh, I hated that. There was sand in the lawn. You're like, what the fuck is going on here? I didn't like that.

When there was a weird, I told you when my grandmother was sick, they sent me off to this family's house and I lived there for like two months and the kids were weird. They had a shed Pink Floyd t-shirts. I think they were smoking weed. I couldn't tell but man they had like dirt bikes and This is fine. It was a bad scene. It's like I got sent to join a biker gang or something like that. I Don't know if they were coming back to get me. I was sleeping on a pullout in the middle of their living room. I think I was like four or five. It's fucking brutal. I had the same feeling. I fucked me up.

Parents just left me. So my brother got to go to my my my aunt, my captain, Uncle Reds treated like a goddamn king. Seemed to be over it. Was out at the Lipfordts in the woods. Yikes. Shout out to them. That's a dirt driveway if I ever heard of it. Long too buddy. Real long. Anybody can get you out. I can't hear you scream. Yeah my mom always throws it on my face that when they came back to pick me up I wouldn't go to her. I ran over to the ice cream guy yeah I ran over to the when she came up to get me I ran back and put my arms around the ladies house it was man you

must have just talked about this in therapy or something that is she was feeding me I don't know is be fucking left me fucking dumb bro listen I loved you know but I gotta yeah I gotta make meet here. I didn't know if you're coming back or not It's adapt or die out of here And weird shit for dinner too, I didn't like it no meatballs and mashed potatoes that bad Yeah, my mom knew better not to she'd be like listen he ain't gonna eat whatever and it's just not worth it to fight with Them he'd be hunger strike. He becomes quite the little bitch. Why are my french fries green?

Wow, I didn't like getting a green end on a fry either. I knew it. Oh man, as a kid Mickey D's you catch one of those? I'll still eat around it now unless I'm drunk. Sure. All right, let's see here. This I should have done this one earlier on in the dining etiquette. This one obviously we're against this is from James ten dollar equity partner here never have one read ever have an uncle or other family member absolutely dressed

down a waiter beyond comfort. Oh my god. Brutal. During a nice dinner at Gibson's find out what Gibson's is. I know a Gibson's. Is that a steakhouseutal. During a nice dinner at Gibson's. Find out what Gibson's is. I know a Gibson's. Is that a steakhouse? I think so. That's Dawson's. JB Dawson's. Oh, I know a JB Dawson's as well. Gibson's Bar and Steakhouse. Yeah. Is

that like a? Chicago seems like Midwest. Uh click on. Let me get a many on that. Oh, there's three of them. Yeah, one at Rosemont. Why don't we go back to Chicago? We're just in Chicago in September. Ah shit. That's right. Breaking my of them. Yeah, one in Rosemont. Why don't we go back to Chicago? We're just in Chicago in

September. Ah, **** That's right. Breaking my stones. Jumbo lump crab cake out the door. 26 bucks. How you done? There you go. Alright, nice joint. Yeah. Uh during a nice family dinner at Gibson's, my uncle Frank destroyed a waiter during his

first week for a few different service issues. The service issues weren't great particular for a joint like Gibson's But dressing down lasted entirely too long and drew far too much attention. I would fucking kill. Yeah, what a fucking asshole That's a dickhead move dickhead never had any Never never no one of the men in my family act like that or do something like that Even if it was a nightmare and we've had a couple of nightmare scenarios I told you that played at one place in Philly that we used something like that, even if it was a nightmare. And we've had a couple of nightmare scenarios. I told you that played at one place in Philly that we used to like to go to. You know what I'm talking about.

The last time we were there as a family, it was a disaster. Nobody said a word. It's also like that happened. Like, listen, it's performance. Yeah, you get a bad. That shit happens. You know, as long as it's not a listen. I had an aunt that would send things back a lot, but she would always be nicer

But she's I'm sorry just I can't she was very particular She couldn't have like like the Scrapple had to be like very very well done or you know if the temperature was wrong She would you mind putting out she was always sweet about it and a great dipper But especially the first week You're fucking busting the gate. I guarantee you Frank wasn't paying the check either That's the kind of guy that does that the guy that's not paying the check right good point Yeah, his brother's got a cash. Yes. My body my brother doesn't work fucking 80 hours a week for come here And you you spill the water on very uncle Frank at home alone. She yes fuck

I don't know what a waiter would have to do For me to dress them down like I mean I've been spilled on spit it Like that hold my nose wait my mouth wasn't open um Yeah, I don't know like What they could do to where I would get? Mad enough or like I feel strong enough that I would have to do that In front of everybody in front of the kids in you're just teaching that generation that You know sure, but I think you're also good like this kid season goes. Oh, I don't well you're teaching I don't want to be that's great shot. I mean like man. This is

Thoroughly embarrassed yeah Yeah, it's a tough look don't ever yet. No, no dress, listen, you went out, you rolled the dice, it didn't happen, take it and move on. You can't break the guy's fucking stones for it. Yeah, I mean? Um, alright, let's see here. This one's from Foley C. Pap. Is it garbage that my vacations as a teenager was taking a 12 hour bus ride by myself to my sisters

where I would work for her boyfriend's company moving oil rigs for two weeks and then take the bus back home My first day the lead hand asked me ever meet a crackhead. Well, this is dingwall and he'll be training you today. I Mean that's a tough. I thought lacrosse camp was bad Yikes, I didn't get to have my bagel and my pancakes. I mean, listen, that's a tough... Kid's probably a worker now. Worker. Probably a great life lesson.

I don't know, very many people who are taking 12 hours. I've never taken a fucking 12-hour bus ride. That's on a vacation, by the way, just so you know. It probably sounds like child labor. Which I'm okay with. How old did he say he was? He did? Oh, he just said as a kid I mean you got to be 16 you got to be let you know mid high school to late high school sure

During the summer I would assume man. She seems like a situation where he didn't get to keep the money either Yeah, he's got a he's got a kick up to the sister finders fee for finding 10% to her the buddy something Yeah, neck out for you The first 500 goes back to him Man, I'm glad my parents weren't like that What like the only time they ever? grifted me was my Communion money I never saw a dime at that sure but otherwise that was mine. Mm-hmm. You know

Yeah, I was yeah mine Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah. I was, yeah, mine was very like, you know, I started working young, but it was very like, if you made $100 that week, like if that was your check from the grocery store, from the restaurant or whatever, it was like, that's just, I then don't have to go to her for like, oh, we're going to the movies, or we're going to the mall.

Because that's when- Where's your money? That's when $20 started like not being kind of enough I would like I hit that age mm-hmm like that inflation or that time period where it was like I Remember when it was like five bucks, and you're like I'm out for the day I could get so and so a slice of pizza when I was a kid at 20 I was like getting a hundred yeah I know but that slowly started being like the fuck am I? You know, like we're going to the mall, slice the pizza at the mall

or like the food court was cost you 13. So borrow six bucks. Yeah. Out the door. Six lights, though. Hey, I love a sabaro's document it. Never we talked about this. Never had it. I was never allowed to go near it. I was I never knew it was a chain. Michael Scott?

No. Well, the only one was in the Oxford Valley Mall. You didn't go to another mall and see another Sparrow? The Chamonix Mall was something else. It was like Two Brothers or something, you know, La Familia. Not whatever, but it was something. They weren't Sparrow. The Chamonix Mall?

That's not Sparrow country. That's yeah, that's fucking. Yeah, that was like individual. That's three toes pizza Jimmy no-nose pizza, but so the only sabars I ever had was are you looking up the Chamonix mall pizza? What you do back there? For the listener we can see the screen now, which is bad Luke should have turned the television off. This is what you do Just see what's up. He's gotta stay on top of it, we need information. Now check out, hold on, let's do a little something fun.

You're right where, zoom in on that. Click on that map. All right, now go, old Lincoln Highway, hold on, give me a sec here. Where's the Oxford Valley Mall? Home Improvement, oh that's the Chamonix Mall. Pull out, now pull. Check it, look for the Oakford Inn.

It's right off Route 1. Now that sounds nice. Yes. I bet you they do a nice blue cheese at the Oakford Inn. No, just Google it. The Oakford Inn. Nice wedge salad. I think you're wrong. It's a house. Did we drive by it when we were in the Lumina? It's a strip club. I think it's called Scruples now. Oakford Inn sounds a lot better. Alright, I stand corrected. I guess it's closed down. I grew up, it was the Oakford Inn. And then that was the first place I had to ask my mom what that place is and why it didn't have any windows. And why my dad's car is out in front of the window.

And why my dad's car But that was the joint where like people would go, you know ladies that we grew up with would end up there working there Working so jealous of that. Well, I feel like you had hot chicks short of you like that and You're in your peer group any strippers What am I cool cool? Sure. I got with a worse crowd. I don't know what to tell you. I hung out with degenerates with

with dabble in narcotics at an early age. You had playboy playmates at your school. We did. Shout out to you. Shannon James. Miss May. 2006? Shannon James. Okay. Miss May.

2006? Luke, what are you doing? Get out of there! Hokey mochey, you can't be putting that up. It's a family show. I gotta go revisit those pictures. What the heck is that? She used to come to the shows, right? Yeah, I was just talking to her the other day. Sweetheart.

In my dream. No, she's a good friend. I knew her as a, I knew her as a... Yeah, junior high. just talking to her the other day. Sweetheart. In my dream. No, she's a good friend. I knew her as a junior high. Shout out to her. I think Flip dated her at an early age. And I think... Good-looking kid. ...famously broke up with her at Valentine's Day, so we didn't have to buy her anything

in like eighth grade. Sucker! I should have stuck that Talk about a loser talk about selling Bitcoin early I got the fucking guy got shorted in the market Alright this one's from real housewives of bluebell. What was the last time you were on a trampoline? I'm probably two years within two years. I've been really. Yeah.

My my my sister has one for her kids. And you got up there. Get on there, wrestle with the kids. I got two, three bounces and I'm out. Yeah, I'm not fucking never a trampoline guy. They've all petrified of them. And I couldn't do the things that other. I just wasn't built like that.

I couldn't do the flips and shit. I always got scared. And I always fell right through the thing on the side with the with the coils. That scratches that hurts. That's pain. Get you on one now. Yeah. End up on the moon. Bang. Watch the windows on the International Space Station.

Is that funny? We had we had one that my stepdad found. That's never good. No, so so bad. It was wrecked. It was a gymnast one. Someone had left in like a barn that his buddy bought. His buddy bought a property, some sort of farming proper or something like that. And this was left in there and it was right when trampolines hit

and our neighbors got the cool, nice one with the blue wraparound cover for the spring. Right. And ours was a rectangle. The big hammock. Yeah, it was a big rectangle with like the member. They had the short strings, the short springs. These were like a foot and a half long. That's dangerous. People would come over and like kids would be like what the hell is this thing?

I mean this thing would fucking want you This thing was it was like medical grade trample. It's really Olympic Yeah, it was that kind of thing and man practice at the X Games so many people got my neighbor cracked her head wide This is still the 90s. So you got it. You're right. No one's suing. Now she'd be fucking. That's those metal pulled the metal that went around. Those things were dangerous. Plus, if you had a screw that went through it or a nut that went through it or a bolt that went through it and then the nut and that rust it.

Even if it was flat, you catch your elbow on that. Skyratched. Brutal. All right. Let's see here. This one's from MellyMell. $10, homie. Is it garbage if your dad, this, I just don't even understand this. Is it garbage if your dad owns 21 tractors?

I guess tractor, yeah, he keeps four covered in a tarp in the driveway and will take parts for them to make the others work. There will only, there's only like five that actually work at any one point. Every time he sees one for sale, he can't help himself but buy it. My boyfriend asked him if he had one he could use to cut his grass and he wouldn't even give him one. This guy's fucking screwballs.

He likes his tractors. I know, but let your fucking son-in-law use one. Then he fucks it up. He's using them as parts. I know but listen, you got 21 tractors. Only four of them work. Take a broken one and fix it. Bring it back. That'll give you...

Right? Go start it. Do something for me. You know what I mean? Exactly. Alright, but we gotta wrap it up, gang. What a fun one. Wooee! Gang, do us a favor. Go over there. Grab the cards. Hit me!

They're gonna sell out. We love you. See you next week. Peace!