Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Chad Daniels!

Episode Date: January 15, 2024

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Chad Daniels! You know Chad from Stand Up Comedy, Your Mom's House w/ Tom Segura, Pretend Problems w/ Kelsey Cook, Middle of Somewhere, WTF w/ Marc Maron, Wrists of Fury, and his new special "Mixed Reviews" OUT NOW! Thanks for watching the Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! AYG 2024 Tour Sign Up: https://shorturl.at/jrD24 Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Hello Fresh: https://hellofresh.com/Garbagefree Promo Code: GarbageFree This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Good to see you gang, the boys are planning the RU garbage 2024 tour. And we want to know where you want us to come. Yeah, so click the link in the description. Let us know what city you want us to come to. We're coming to all the ones we've been to before and we're adding a bunch. No one's we just needed nowhere to go. So click the link. Let us know we'll see out there gang. Stay in your house.

Welcome to another exciting edition of RU garbage. The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to Everybody's Favorite Podcast. This is Are You Garbage. Oh yeah. It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that I have to go to be classy. Yeah.

I have to just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Holes State's fully coming at you out on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tutti's in the new edition. She's upstairs working on her studies. OK. As you know, Temple University.

She's enrolled. She's up there with her tutor. OK. My coach is coming at you right next to me. All right. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He's an international businessman and unfortunately, he's my best pal in the whole wide world.

Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan. What up gang, thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you're ready to subscribe on iTunes full video available and YouTube as you know those numbers are. Shruder Rob, cooking baby, cooking. Then obviously the greatest website of all time. And I'm gonna tell you out there,

www.patrion.com slash are you garbage gang? Check it out over there. It's a frickin' party. And how about a nice quick shout out to our producer, X-Short and Andy? Old magic man, it makes us all look good. Works the ones, the twos, the threes and the fours. He crosses the tees and he dots the eyes,

giving up for T-bone and Scruff and it's tubbing the ball in everybody. What up boys? What up T-bone? I'm excited. We've got this guy in here. He came in like the rider in black. Real Johnny Cash was.

Feels like we got a patch over on our hands. I feel like he's going to end the lease if we don't, if we don't make a plan. That said, pull the plug. CIA hit man over here. He does. He has like a Navy seal who shows up to a base. They know one, they know one wants to talk about except very retired

Gang the long hair ain't lying. We couldn't be more excited. They were incredibly and I mean incredibly special guests He was this the day for the first time. He is a very funny very successful stand-up comedian and Podcast and you might have seen him in but not limited to you got Conan O'Brien. He has his own comedy central presents WTF with Mark Marin late night with James Gordon unprotected sets the tonight show he has not won but two amazing podcasts middle of somewhere pretend problems He's on tour right now and his stand-up specials and albums have almost one billion streams Including 2021's 12th night and his brand new special over there on his YouTube page, mixed reviews, give it up for an absolute killer. Chad Daniels everybody.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Man comics love sitting through intro. Oh, it's the best. The first time we saw you. Yeah, you, you have been a, we both have a story about seeing you for the first you. Yeah. You, you have been a, uh, uh, yeah, we both have a story about seeing you for the first time.

Yeah. Years ago, we were talking to, uh, our good pal Mark Norman about it. It was that he show over an Irish exit hot soup. I think I think that's the same thing. Yeah. This is probably 2015, 16 year in town. Probably I think getting ready to do a late night or something like that. Tough room packed out.

It was hot in there. Couple of goobers me and him in the back. And you go up there and just absolutely leveled a place. Yeah, it was what I was talking about it all the time. To the point where it stuck in our head, we were like, who the fuck is it? We have one reason we've never heard of you. Yeah, there was like stories of you rolling in

from like Minnesota or something. And you're like, oh, is that bad? Horse tied up outside. Coming in like high-planged drifter. And you murder. And you remember, you were talking about like your kids, which is like, that's not a rule where comics, that's all like 24 year old comics of like,

hey, you know when you're on the subway. And you came in and talked to him, we were like, it was mind blowing. How quickly you turn the room. Yeah, we were, we still talk about it. Thanks a lot. Super excited to add to you, buddy. I don't remember that.

So I like, shit. Might have a lot of pay. It would have been me, but I will take the credit. Oh, that was his reasons, are you? I apologize. Yeah, that's fair. But he give us the backstory. Give us the origin story, Chad Daniels,

where are you from? Born and raised, Fergus Falls, Minnesota? Okay, moved away for 10 years then moved back when I had kids because my ex wife and I grew up together Okay, so we want to get them back closer to family Well, you guys college sweetheart. You when you're you when you're in your wife? I've known her since I school I'm sorry six great. Yeah high school went to prom. No kid. Yeah, all that stuff So so we had the makings for that story. That perfect story.

And then that dumb divorce got in the way. But I'm doing it. So who did that? Okay. You know, grew up mom, dad, till 15, they got divorced. One of those deals, dad, split sort of off and on, then split for good. 21ish maybe.

Okay. And you were 21ish maybe. Okay. And you were 21, okay. What they do for a living. My mom, I'm not even a couple of years ago. But you wanna go. You're a grown man. My mom was, was a bank teller for a while.

And then she worked at a power company. She was like the lady you went in and paid the bill to. Okay. And then my dad, liquor salesman. Licker salesman. Licker salesman. Like going around like to bars like, hey, do you want to try this? Yeah, it with boxes of booze in a minivan with no seats.

Huh, that kind of a thing. It's my dream job. Did he break anything? Like was he like, was he on records? Yeah, eight duis. Hey, I got the incase of vodka. What do you want from him? That's what I'm saying.

Like he used that van for his eighth dui. He put chairs in there and had a traveling bar and just was drinking his product. Oh, shit. Yeah. I mean, a bar in a van. I don't need anybody. I saw this right out of the van. Absolutely.

No, was he on like like an absolute dropped or like, you know, did he have any beer? To smear it off flavors or anything like that. I remember he had a Mr. Boston. I can't remember, but I had, this was a long time ago. That's like a big seller. Yeah, it's, it's rail. It's rail. He had a rail stuff.

It doesn't say what guys, it's Mr. Boston. Like, you have any gin? I don't know. This might be some. Let's put a little gatorade in you, B.R.A. Yeah. All right, okay, brothers and sisters, little sister, five years younger,

five years younger, small town. Yeah, 13,000. Ferguson Falls. Ferguson Falls. Ferguson Falls. It sounds real nice, man. Sounds like any town USA type thing. What was the house?

Was it like a single family home? So started a lot of land. You started off, all of them in town. Okay. Single family, then we moved this really nice house, got the basement, it wasn't finished, got it all redone, sister and I had to move it down there. Boom.

Cash was coming in. That's when people was like, we don't know, we'll take Mr. Boston for all our liquor. As the golden schlocker, I think he's a 1987. Amazing. And so then that's when all hell broke loose. With your mom and dad.

Yep. So they were doing good to that point where they got the new house, they got the. So got a little money and then it's the 80s. So I once heard my mom say that my dad put, how'd she say it, put a house in two cars up his nose? Oh. And my sister and I were like,

our dad's a magician. It's got good unbelievable. Never found that rabbit. Yeah, fuck that. Really? So, all town Minnesota hit in the package. Well, because yeah, he's, you know, he's in bars. He's crazy.

He's got to move it and shake it. He's got a social life. He's got to be a man of the people to move this Mr. Boston. And was he a sharp guy that he dressed good? Was he, was he? Yeah, yeah, real slick. True salesman.

Real, real funny dude, real on it. All the time, sharp. Yeah. Man. All right. Huh. What was the, what was the sports situation growing? Are you playing sports? I did. I played a little bit basketball Man. All right. Huh. What was the sports situation growing? Are you playing sports?

I did. I played a little bit of basketball, a little bit of hockey, football. I was a wide receiver until 10th grade, but they didn't throw the ball. It was a lot of running. Okay. And so then I quit to box.

Ooh. To box. You're in, you're an in-shape guy. Yeah. You got a frame on you. We don't have any cameras in here. Great. No, yeah. I'm super in shape.

This is all real. I'm super in shape. I mean, compared to the other guys at the table, we're doing all right, Chad. Yeah, I'll take that. Yeah. Huh, for comics, you're in very good, for a comic, you're in very good shape.

And your mom doesn't live in the same house, does she? She does not. Okay, what was the name of the street? West 7th. So it's weird, because we drew up on West 7th Avenue and first Avenue, just in case you wanted to get lost in a town. Oh, sure.

The avenues didn't cross the streets. There was no grids, right? No, no, no, it was. Just wonky. A lot of streets named after trees. Huh. That kind of town. Sikamore, all that kind of stuff.

Maple, ash, oak. All right. Sound like a nice place. What was, what were the family vacations like growing up? Anything big? Yeah, everybody. So my mom's side, my dad's side was kind of a shit show. So my mom's.

But they're all there in the surrounding areas. Yeah, okay. My mom's side, it was, it was grandpa grandma. And then my mom had two brothers. Okay. And they both had two kids. Okay. And so it had two kids. Okay. And so as we'd all go off together.

Nothing crazy, I mean I remember, drove somewhere in a van for a very long time, I can't remember, maybe Florida, I don't know. Florida. But I was real young then, and then we kept together. We got to re-up. Yeah. I gotta go meet the Colombians in Miami.

Oh shit. Can't take this on a plane. Oh, man. Down the Florida. So, camping, stuff like that, where you guys out doysy. Lakers houses are big up there. Any of that. We didn't have that.

And that's like a, that's a thing with me is that was my number one goal. Was to get a life as to get a layhouse. Okay. So got that. Checked it off. lake house. Okay. So got that. Checked it off. Checked it off. Still got it. No kidding.

Yeah. Pretty good. So decided to do that. But that was something that all my friends had grown. And so I would like to do that. You asked me a question, I completely. There was something about a camping. Camping.

Yeah. So I went camping once with my dad. It was for boy scouts. And it was a wind wind and rainstorm and completely Knocked our tent down, but no one else's and we were in the middle of the tents So somehow he fucked it up so badly and he's like, hey, hey, we're looking at us working as a team I'm like I'm freezing right now. Give me a bump. I'm Mr. Boston

right now. Give me a bump, a Mr. Boston, so I can warm it up. It's that huge baby. You got the van here? Any trips to the Wisconsin Delts? No, not when I was a kid, but as an adult, I've been to some bachelor parties there, which mistakes. What's the doubt there? That's like their famous, uh...

Is that like with that lake in Texas, where everybody goes? No, it's just like a water park. It's an amusement park. A lot of water parks, Yeah, there's like guys. You guys know Pete Lee. Yeah, we know. Pete used to do barefoot skiing. He was like the guy that you'd go watch

in the Wisconsin Dome. What? What? Have you seen him before you met him? Did you? No, no, no, I mean, maybe. I don't know. But I met him.

Yeah, I met him when we started comedy together. But yeah, it was. So hearing about, it's funny when you see Pete And I know that he's always like, well, I don't know who to use my girlfriend shampoo You're a black belt dude Wait, he can watersgate barefoot. Oh, bear foot. He's he's a crazy good skateboarding all that stuff That's kind of the local entertainment really good. That's kind of the local entertainment up there. Yeah, absolutely.

Pete Lee, Pete Lee Waters, Gain. Holy shit. When the squirrels sing. And then, and then funny too, that sucks. Yeah, that's right. Normally you grew up with that talent and you're like, ah, forget it. I don't need it in the personal. This place was a water park that did that's the parties.

Imagine like the Jersey Shore kind of. There's a lot of different There's a casino down there. There's a bunch of stuff around it. Is it on some type of water? It's on a bunch of water a bunch of different Okay, it's not just one thing there's lakes. Yeah, there's a four water parks a casino All right, I got you. It's a town. It's a destination. Yeah, all right. That sounds pretty trashy Okay, and how old were you when you got your passport? Oh, shit, maybe in my 30s. Whoa. Where are you going?

Italy. Okay. Well, for vacation. For vacation. The thing is with me, it's like you didn't need a passport. Most of my adult life, you know, I turned 18 and 93. You didn't need a passport till September 12, 2001. Really? You could just travel with your driver's license. What? You good? Well,

I mean, the only places I went in Mexico and Canada. So no kid. Yeah. All you needed was a license at the border. That's a real dirt bag thing to know. I don't want the federal government wanting anything else out of the grades the, in school? How are you? 2.3. 2.3, that was your high school GPA. You know your GPA? Oh yeah, it's that bad, you remember it. When you have a bunch of people going,

you're at a 2.3. When it's getting screamed at you. And your taints pierced, hell's going on. How about the SATs? You do the ACTs out there. Oh, here's, this is, I'm gonna tell you, which one is the SATs? You do the ACTs out there. Oh, this is, I'm gonna tell you, which one is the hundreds score and which one is the 20 score? ACT is the lower one.

Yeah, the lower one is like the double digit one. Then I did the ACTs. Okay. Midwest typically does ACTs. Okay. Do you know what you got? 24 out of 36. That's not good.

That's bad. That's not great. Yeah. Yeah. It seems pretty good. I thought it was all right Just braised his world's crumbling around I think it's not great 2.3 and I got a 24. I mean, I'm a great testing. It is above average the average is a 19.5 Okay, oh everybody suck My apologies, Mr. Daniel I I think you go to college. Fucking, yeah, Menta, apparently.

Oh, I am in Menta. I got to do what I'm gonna tell you that story. You're literally in Menta? Here's the thing. So when I got divorced. I feel like you're strong armed, everybody to let you into Menta. Don't make me get my horse, boys.

Well, it turns out it's a bunch of nerds, and I'm not one. I just make sure a bunch of dorks be like, he's not leaving. Let's just say he's in. He doesn't want to leave. He wants to play the board game. Hand it out, no guise and sorely. I talked to your boss.

What? Wait, what is mentioned by the way? It's like, I don't know, listen, he would, you explain. It's just like a society, here's what it is, he's bringing it to society. Here's what it's built as. It's built as it's for geniuses, but I have to tell you something

that I think it really is just, they let a lot of people in that they think are gonna pay the dues. Okay. That's my theory. Did you have to give like a resume? Like, hey, I was at 2.3 and I got a 24. No, you did so I went in I don't think you're in meant said I went into therapy

Okay, you get Obviously like when I was going through a divorce sure and this guy had grown up seven miles away from where I grew up But he went to Duke University for three years and when I got in there he was like well, how y'all doing? I'm like this isn't gonna work for me. You picked up an accent in three years. And so he goes, sounds like you're a, between a rock and a hard place young man. And I'm like, this is your therapist? Yeah, and I'm like, I'm not doing this.

You're like a fake person. Sure. You're lying about your accent. I'm not taking your advice. Yeah. And then he goes, I feel like you think you're just a pickle right there. Yes, exactly.

You're devolending the deep blue sea. Hey, that two shots of Mr. Boston can't deal with. He's whittling wood as you're telling him. In a rocking chair. So he goes, I feel like you think you're the smartest person in the room a lot of times and I go, well for sure in this room. And then he said, I would like you to take a test.

I thought it was a personality test. So he goes, make an appointment down in Minneapolis and I was working at Acme Comedy Company one week and so I go, I'll take a test. I thought it was a personality test. So he goes, making appointment down in Minneapolis and I was working at Acme Comedy Company one week and so I go, I'll take it on that Sunday, vikes don't play no big deal. Okay. Most geniuses. So I'm, so I'm,

bikes aren't played. So I'm hammered. That night I go down, still hung over, take the test, get my results back, I'm in Mensa. No shit. I promise you. So then I go in and I go, why did you make me take this test? And he goes, well,

because I wanted you to realize you're not the smartest person in the room. And then to call me down a little bit and I put the results on his desk and I go, well, what now? Dip shit. Yeah. What about now? Mr. three years, it do now. I'll tell you, I bet you I take the test again. I don't get it. So what it said, you were a genius. I don't know what it was about it. Can we get the actual definition of Mensa? Do you have it? I do. Mensa means table in Latin and the organ not what I meant. We have a society of tables. It's a Greek place. I'm 34 sites. It's a furniture store. And the

organization was so named because Mensa is a round table society where ethnicity, color, creed, national origin age politics and Educational and social background are all completely irrelevant. Okay. Do you want the criteria to get in? Yeah, let's get some of that because it sounds like there's a bunch of guys Oh, there are lots of lots of females So they do every year they have a thing where new board games come out and you can go and you can go to this Mensa group and you can play the board game I did it one time in Austin Texas. Like monopoly, like board games like

that. I mean, but new ones that they're testing for market. That's who they have do that. Yeah. I get dorks. Yeah. Yeah. That's a fact. Get it on a mall. I went down there and a real grown man had a teddy bear with him and I'm like, okay. How do I get out of Mensa? Well, apparently that teddy bear, Wilden weirdo had an IQ above the 98th percentile. That's how you have to get in. Yes. So you have an IQ above the 98th percentile. That test I took.

Well, I did it. Yeah. Well, fucking next Patreon, we're finding out if we can get an immense of short. Sure. Yeah. That's what we're doing. That's happening.

Damn. And then you have to take the wanderluck test, which is what they give quarterbacks when they go into the end of the show. I know Oh, yeah. That's what we're doing. That's happening. Damn. And then you have to take the wonder luck test, which is what they give quarterbacks when they go into the end of the show. I know that. Yeah. So you take a you take an IQ test and then you take that test right afterwards. Okay. And that one's hard because the first questions are pretty easy, but then they get harder and harder. And you only have 15 minutes. I think 15 minutes to take it. But it was. I did. What's the wonder luck test? It's what they give quarterbacks. It's a problem solved. Yeah, yeah.

It's to make sure quarterbacks are gonna be able to read defenses and be able to check the line when they get to the line's scrimmage. That's pretty cool. You didn't know that? No. Exful ball star like yourself. I didn't know that. That's pretty sweet.

Yeah. It's a contemporary cognitive ability test that was created in 1939. Hey, Tom Brady did real good on that. I bet so too. Yeah. So you can get a score. I bet so too. Yeah. So you can get his score, I'm sure it's up. That's wild.

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through many different parts of my life as a kid they made me go. This guy's a real loony. Dr. Jenkins can get rocked. I'm fine. How many chicken figures do you think is too many? Through, you know, relationship stuff, throughout my life, work stuff,

throughout my life comedy, it's a great tool. So if you're thinking about starting therapy, definitely give better help better help at trites the easiest way to get in the pool You don't front of privacy your home. You'll go talk to some fucking bozos somewhere wait in a parking lot some bad office Celebrate the progress you've already made visit better help.com slash garbage today to get 10% off your first month That's better help H.E. LP dot com slash garbage do it gang do it all right. All right. Well, I mean, you're the first genius on the show Chad. Why don't know that I am The first that you're already I don't know that I'm a genius. I'm telling you I took this test hungover. You got the paperwork. Yeah, that's true I got the card. Yeah, did you stay with the therapist or do you ice him? I iced him and wanted three years to do what's that mean?

I don't know. Well, he went down there, that's what they told me. They go, he went to Duke for three years, like I was going to be like, you know, really best duke list. That's a small downji. Yeah, that's real hillbilly shit. He ate in the cafeteria.

Okay. All right. Let's go back a little bit. So, as you, your sister, your sister was a little bit younger. What was the breakfast situation on school days during the year when you were a little kid? What would you be getting? Would your mom make a,

no, you want your stuff? And your stuff, they were both working. Kinda on your own, my mom was around to make sure that we had breakfast, but it was cereal with milk and then later on after that, it was cereal, okay? With milk, and then later on, after that, it was cereal with powdered milk. Whoa. Were you having the lean years?

Yeah, lean years. At one point, you just go, fuck it, I'll just have water on it. Just to wash it down. Boom. Like a hot dog eating competition. So you guys moved into the new house, and then financially, things went bad. Yeah, yeah, so they got people in a nice house.

Yeah, exactly. Yes, my child. Yeah. yeah, so they got people in a nice house. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, my childhood. Hey, nothing more American than that. God, I learned the word house poor. It's nine years old. Yeah, we were basically squatters for a while. Really? Yeah.

Okay. Man, powdered milk. I don't know if I ever had that. Had powdered eggs. Okay. That powdered eggs. I don't hate. Yeah.

Will you eat it? Will you eat it? The breakfast at a hotel in the morning? Like a holiday and that would be nice at the table. You do like the, if you have a waffle iron that flips, you're in, you're in. Come on. I chat up.

I can smell it from my room. You think I'm not gonna use that thing? I'm not gonna waffle up. I got two minutes and 30 seconds to kill. I'm a PSA Breach. I'm gonna make a flight. Those shitty hotels, man. Sometimes they stay surprised. two minutes and 30 seconds to kill. I'll PSA Breechack. I'll be like, what? Those shitty hotels, man, sometimes they stay surprised.

You come down to them, and it shit's all free. Ain't too shabby. I love them. I just put the scrambled eggs. I put some napkins down on the plate to absorb the water that comes with them. That's a road dog pro.

That's right. Dude, I used to, so I used to carry keys with me from different hotels, the key cards. And so when I was on the road, if I was staying at one that didn't have a continental breakfast, I'd go to one that didn't close to it. And I'd, you know, have my key with me just in case anybody asks.

Oh, that's genius. That's trash. What are you talking about? I mean, I'm in, but God damn it. You, you want no trash? No, no, he got an immense. When I, when I, I get his power moves. This you are no trust me. No, you got an immense When I Move this guy's been playing in jester's old. He's turning keys into coupons

Dude when I was hosting at the Mall of America when the other bragging You can't get me to stop First men's and now hosting at the Mall of American boom Well the headline I was on I'd go get in line at a fancy restaurant and get one of those vibrating buzzer deals. And then as soon as it would go off, I'd sell it to somebody who was way back in line. Whoa.

Yeah, I was trying to make money when you were just starting. You know, you had to get free breakfast, you had to make a little extra scratch. I don't think anybody's ever thought, so you'd go like, hey, Chad table for four. You'd go, yeah, you'd go probably table six normally you go so. Obviously. And then you find somebody back close to the line that has kids that are getting restless

and you go, hey, I got this, this is for a table of six right now, you know, 50 bucks if you want it. Make an extra 50 on it. No kid. You might be a genius. Probably give the kids coffee too to get the real ants. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Have some candy.

Some of my dad's cocaine. Locked by a snap and getting it in the air like anthrax. Oh shit. Man, playing hardball with a Midwestern. It's buzzing, guys. Make a move. It's either you or the Jenkins are geek tonight. You got five minutes and the whole party's got to be there.

Let's go. Wow. That's diabolical. Very, very smart. Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there?

Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there?

Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? Are you going to be there? in there. Okay, what are we looking at? Whatever was available. Lot of vanilla wafers, lot of bugles. Bugles. Yeah. That's a blast from the pay. Yeah. Bugles is exactly. You put them on your fingers. Of course. You got to play Wicked Witch. And then I had a card trick that I would do and I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money.

I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money.

I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money.

I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. I'd get people's lunch money. It broke in anything. No, I mean, springed ankles here and there, busted ribs, but nothing crazy. So what happens when you're a gypsy going down the town? A pit-boss broke his fingers one time. I got tuned up for Count Cards in Vegas, what of it? I've been running out of a rail a couple of towns. It's a baby.

All right, folks, I gotta go. What's the briefcase under the star? Man. This took a turn. I can't. I can't. I can't.

I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.

I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can in high school. Okay. So where'd you guys go after, did you, how long did you guys stay in the, in the big house? It was just you, you're just during your mom. We were kicked out because my dad left my mom in bankruptcy. Okay. And then we went to an apartment.

Okay. And then you, when you say he finally dipped dipped, he like out of your life dipped at, no, nine blocks away. Get the fuck out of here. And saw him maybe every seven months. No shit. Yeah, it was like he was gone, but he just.

He was lingering. So until the divorce, is it a normal mom, dad, everybody's loving, you never saw this coming and then all of a sudden he's living. When you look back, when you were like five, when I look back at five years old, it's rough. You saw it coming. I mean, my old man would gamble on payday, and he would either come home with crab legs

or chicken chalmein in a can. And when he came home with chicken chalmein in a can, we knew he lost. And my sister and I'd be like, all right, we'll get outside. Yeah, we go. Geez. But you guys were close.

My sister and I, yes, still. But with your dad, like, he was loving towards you guys and all that, you guys were, and then just, just not my, so both parents loved us. We loved them. They didn't love each other. I don't think so.

Yeah. A lot of talking for the kids. A lot of dinner table like, can you tell your father to stop chewing so loudly? And it's like, do you mean the one right to your? Whoa. Ouch. That kind of stuff.

But then nine blocks away, you see him once every seven months. Yeah, about. You never just go over to his house, like, hey, what's going on? Didn't want to show up, didn't know what was going to happen. Holy was he living there by himself? Well, yeah, but we did it.

We went over there one time just to say like, hey, what are you doing? Wanna hang out and watch some TV? And there were like melted candles on the table that were melted all the way down and like pouring over the tables. Got you. It was a fuckshack.

Yeah. All right. Or he's a vampire. You don't want to walk in on it. Yeah, or, yeah, that's true. He You don't want to walk in on it. Yeah, or He's dead. So that kind of kills that theory. He's not a vampire But it was in a garlic accident. Yeah, so who knows? Yeah I like to look at you got very vampire hunter-vise so this could this could be a whole thing so I'm looking for it

Daywalker Who would babysit you as a kid? Family? Me. You would, yeah. Well, how long did that? Well, I guess from price seven on. I would walk. Seven.

Dude, imagine him at seven. He's probably more mature than me and you, right now. That's where that exact outfit is. He's yawning his sister to go to bed. Answering the door, not that hard. And when you come back, bring us food. They leave you at seven and your sister was two. Yep.

So you're watching her. Yeah. Changing her diaper and stuff like that. Yeah. Pam. Who? What was your first job? Paperboy.

Okay. All right. Yeah. What was the, what was the, what was the, what were you riding around on? What was the way skateboard? Skateboard. Yeah, it used to skateboard. was the, what were you riding around on? What was the? Escape board. Escape board. Yeah, it used to escape board.

Sometimes I'd have to pull it because it was gravel. Sometimes I'd have to, you know, sling the bag over, hold on to the escape board. What would you do in the winner? Walk. Really? Yeah, you had to walk. That had to suck. That had to suck.

It sucked bad. How bad was the, was the, was the winners there? Uh, so I don't know, they get 30, 40 below zero. But then sometimes, I suck that bad. Sometimes you get a polar vortex and it's 70 below zero with windshield. Fuck that. And you moved back there after you got out.

Where did you move to after? Mini apples. I've never lived anywhere about Minnesota. Okay. Huh. Man, that is wild. What was the pet situation? Grip a dog's.

Dogs. Indoor dogs, outdoor dogs. Indoor only. What kind of pet situation? Grip a dog's. Dogs. Indoor dogs, outdoor dogs. Indoor only. What kind of a breed? We had a mutt for the first one that was Mogen, and then we had an apricot poodle named Jack, and then we had I think another mutt named Cole Blackdog. Was the apricot poodle in the good years,

in the good financial years? Yeah, but towards the end. Like it was almost like that dog could sense it too because it started getting bumps all over its body. It's like, I'm outta here. This sucks. How have you guys seen the writing on the wall? Yeah.

Wait, did you keep them all until they pass or they run away? Capture them all. Yep, all right. Still got them. Oh, huh. Interesting. I feel like you guys are trying to solve a crime. We are, I love it. We are. all right. Still got them. Oh, huh. Interesting. I feel like you guys are trying to solve a crime.

We are, I love it. We are. And you for sure did it. You know what I'm saying? I'm just having connected to the dots. I feel like I'm on for first 48 right now. This is like mine, Hunter. Uh, okay.

Huh. What was the poster situation in the room as a kid? You had your own room. I had my own room. Right? Yeah, and in the big house. Well a kid? You had your own room. I had my own room. Right. Yeah, and in the big house. Well, I guess I had my own room the whole time. Okay.

But so, you know, in the big house, it was probably Michael Jordan. Sure. Stuff like that. Respect it. I had throwing stars. I was throwing stars at the posters. You were throwing Chinese stars in your room. In my room, which, I guess what?

You take those posters down, holes behind you. Of course. But good thing, the bank took the house back, we didn't have to sell it. So dear, about the holes. Yeah, yeah, save my time. Punch holes in the walls?

Never punched. Never punched. Just Chinese stars. Yeah, okay. Got those in a flea market. Of course you did. Or else do you get Chinese, unless you went to the Far East,

do you have a gauge? Well, you never pass. Oh, you want to get some Chinese throwing stars and some spices? You think you got them a blooming nails? Gotta just, I'm just chucking them in and cinnamon in my mouth. Yeah.

David likes. BB gun? BB gun, yep. Got it for Christmas. Got in trouble for baiting crows in the backyard. Or got it blackbirds, I guess. What's baiting me? B the backyard. I've got blackbirds I guess. What's baiting mean? Baiting means like you put bread out

and when they come eat it, tink, tink. Really? You got some bodies on you. Yeah. You can put look at the same thing. Pretty decent count dude. Pretty decent count. Fucking throwing crab legs in the backyard.

Do you hunt now or anything like that? I don't, I've never hunted other than that with a bee begun. You got any nickel at the house? Huh, no pieces? Minnesota, no piece? Just talked about that too, because we got, you seem like a hot guy too. I love shooting them,

but I don't think I should have one at the house. Yeah, he is a bit of a loose cannon. And apparently so the United States goes through. Okay, tell me't do it. Okay, I won't fuck. Okay. You do seem like a guy who could unassemble and reassemble a gun blindfolded.

And I think you look like the guy Matt Damon plays in the movie. Yeah, you look like the real guy. Black and white photos of you and him on set. You're showing him how to sweep a room. Do you wear a cargo pants? I don't. Very sharp guy though. Very masculine compared to me and him.

This got lost, but did you go to college? I went to three years of a community college. It got so close. Man, sir. Yeah, three years of a community college just didn't take. I was there for the social aspect call it. It costs some color. It's Duke, man. Yeah, three years at a community call, it's just intake. I was there for the social aspect of it. Okay, and where you live in at home, would you get your own place? Got my own place.

You got your own place? Well, I mean roommates. Room mates, okay. So your mom and your sister are in the apartment because your sister's younger than you, she's probably in high school. So at this point, we just lived in the apartment for one year, okay.

My mom, so think about my old man, how shitty. My mom is that grade on the other end of the spectrum. Nice. So she got through bankruptcy, got an apartment for one year and then found someone that would sell their house. I can't remember what it's called, like rent to deed maybe. Something like sure, yeah. Like one of those.

And so you basically, you're renting until you prove you can take over the mortgage. Okay. And so got us a house one year later. So, from 10th grade to senior year for me, I was in a house. Okay. And then, when I went to school, in the same town, my sister and mom were at that house. Okay.

I should. Bam. Hustler. Okay. Yeah, for real. Love that. Any trouble in high school or rest, did anything like that? Yeah, I got arrested.

I took advanced chemistry class because I thought to myself, everyone in here wants good grades. So I knew if I didn't do my homework, they would do it. If I was their partner, they would finish the project because they didn't want to get a bad grade. And so I'm like, I'm just going to fucking ride co-tails. That's a felony in your town. What the hell?

That's okay. So then, it's not easy to catch an occasion. So then I learned how to break a... I bought a lot of fertilizer then I learned how to break a lot of fertilizer. I learned how to try was I was trying to rent a truck. Oh, man, he does. This guy's got pipe bomb written all over him. Holy shit.

All right, it's OK. So hold on. So chemistry class. So they taught us how to break an electrical circuit with saline. Jesus Christ. Alright. They say how to break what? An electrical circuit with saline solution and I noticed the security the

local chemical plant was a little like that. Do I'm telling you kind of. Go ahead. So I'm watching this light bulb go on and off in class and I go oh yeah the ATM will do that. And so I go home and I make this

saline solution which is just salt water and then I go and I'm at my buddy's house and I go home and I make this sailing solution, which is just saltwater. And then I go and I'm at my buddy's house and I go I'm gonna go do this to the ATM see if I can break the circuits, have all the money come out. What grades this? This is, you are a fucking genius. I'm a junior.

I'm a junior. That's crazy. And then my buddy goes, oh you'll go to jail, it doesn't matter if you're 17, if you do an ATM, it's the bank. So you'll go to jail. It doesn't matter if you're 17 if you do an ATM. It's the bank. So you'll go to jail forever. So you killed him And I was like just look at this butter knife quick And so

Did you wash in your hands? I did have a mister Boston blowdark gun So we we he talked me into trying it on pop machines, so to machines first. Okay. And so we did that, broke 13 of them, got caught. And... Was it working? Could you access that? So what happens is you put it in the dollar change,

you spray it in the dollar change, everything shuts down and then all the quarters come out. And if you push the button for Coke or sunk is to whatever all of that Now, by the way, do not do this of course, of course didn't got damn 90s right So big hall Lot a lot of soda cans. So what you do with it where he was gonna try to move that well No, we're just gonna guy in the bedroom So you hit 13 We got to connect

Hold on hey dad you need some mixers So your buddy went from trying to convince you not to do it now. He's an accessory. Yeah, that's right You guys do it together, but it's just soda machine you hit 13 soda machines Which also is a felony because it's too many okay, and then they tell you the number of what wouldn't have been the felony? If they were like, I mean, it was a dollar amount and I can't remember the amount. One doctor pepper over the line, baby. What was the, what was the hall?

I mean, just a backseat full of soda cans and then, you know, where you laughing a lot, I would have been dialing. We were just like, it's working. Yeah. I would still be on that tear doing that. So you know, you know, the noise that the dollar bill receiver makes when you put an egg up. Yeah, it would make that noise when the circuits would start to break.

So anytime we heard that noise, we were like, oh my God. Yes. I just don't. Yeah. And it would just start dumping. And how much a couple hundred bucks, thousands of dollars. No, no, no, maybe 200. Well, maybe. And then he got pinched. We got pinched my small town. So my little league coach, who's a cop, pulled us over. I was like, here get a damn drop of Pepsi.

This whole goddamn down the hell's going on. Oh, county's dry. Yeah. So I was like, hey, coach, how's it going? Is this after a job? This is like after you guys have just done one or we did it all in one night, all 13 one night, nightfall. I was like, hey, Coach, how's it going? Is this after a job? This is like after you guys had just done one or is this a style? Oh, we did it all in one night. All 13, one night, nightfall. Yeah, so he just like does the, you know,

did you dress up and like all black and stuff like that? Oh, you would think, you would think but my dipshit friend who talked me out of, you're wearing your little league jersey. He actually, he's wearing his high school football jersey. Oh my God. So somebody sees the number, so even if we get away with it, we're far.

Yeah. The next day. And so we get, and we're in the cop shop, we're arguing about him. Like, I can't believe you were like, God damn Jersey, he goes, you wanted to do an ATM machine. That's true. That's fair.

Yeah. You would've asked him that way. I think it's a federal, it's a federal crime. Sure. So when did he get you? The next night, that night, that night. Oh, you got caught that night. That same night. You stink. You get away with it for a little while. I know. I had his name on his back. I know. That's crazy. So they pull

the over. Yeah, pull us over. And for the record, the police car had a headlight out, which is also illegal. You're right. So we did try to barter with him. Yeah. I'm just six back. You guys did a crime weed it crime that kind of thing But I end up mowing a lot of church lawns community service, okay, and then had to pay restitution on all the all the Partners man, so you never got to the ATM, huh? No, thank God. Yeah, yeah, that seriously would have been brutal Yeah, I might still be in prison Yeah, cuz you killed people when you got there. Started running a gang. Whoa, there's your Daniel. Yeah. All right. That's amazing. That is.

What are the numbers saying so far? Kill me in. Not great. Any involvement in student activities has student council. You run for anything? Student council was vice president of the class going on. Real? Okay. I feel puppet regime. He was really pulling the strings. I feel like I'm going to figure head in there. I'm not going to put my name on this prom,

but I will be running it. But you kickbacks and no show jobs. Holy shit. Oh, okay. All right. What was the first time you had Nutella? I mean, maybe 30s. Okay. Okay. This is all checking out. Yeah. Who was the doctor when you were a kid? Who was your pediatrician?

Sanderson, maybe. Okay. Was that in his hat of his house? There was a like professional center clinic clinic a clinic. A clinic. Okay. A clinic situation. I grew up right across from a clinic. And so then when we moved across town, it was, you know, same deal.

Gotcha. What was any of the supermarket growing up? We had service food and more for. Oh, I think that one of those sounds good. Oh yeah, those are local. The one sounds like the can change. A lot of can change. Yeah, a lot of can't jump in yikes.

How was your mom in the kitchen? Good cook. Fair. Fair. Fair to partly cloudy. Would you guys have dinner together? Most times. Most times.

I mean, when I was a teenager, I was gone all the time. I didn't want to be home anyways. My mom's like, you know, get home from work, watching days of our lives, ripping heaters. Mom ripping heaters. Yeah, so you know, you walk out and everybody's like, oh, when'd you start smoking? Sure, I don't.

But so I was gone a while. What was her brand, do you recall? Salem? Sure, that checks out. Whoa. Okay, Days of Our Lives and Salons. I'm with you. Maybe I'm thinking Salem because Days of Our Lives takes place in you. Okay. Well, maybe I'm thinking salon

because days of our lives take place in Salem. Does. Does take place in Salem. Oh, maybe, maybe that. That's Salem's the same. I don't know. Okay, maybe it is, of course. Okay, Salem's watching Salem.

She was trying to get in the character. What kind of over the family cars growing up? Had a real long green Pontiac. I don't know what kind it was. That's when I was younger. And then my dad came home without asking my mom, Mazda 626, brand new off the lot. Okay. You did play it fast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

The lot of real trashy term. And then we had a, in Minnesota, too, that's so impractical. It's like a sports car. Yeah. Yeah. It was ridiculous. And then we had a, not a Dodge Omni, but whatever the other version is. Like the, the, the, the rip off, uh, Plymouth Horizon. Oh, I know what you're talking about. So a little green Plymouth Horizon, yeah, that's what my mom had to drive after the, you know,

getting left that she was at the round then. And then I, I totaled that car. Dodge Omni Plymouth Horizon. You totaled that car? I totaled that car because I went out to a, uh, to a, I total that car. That Johnny Plymouth, her eyes. You total that car? I total that car because I went out to a Fendi machine job. A cabin, a lake cabin with these girls and a buddy of mine.

And then I use my mom's sunglasses and she goes, you always lose my sunglasses. Do not lose these sunglasses. I'm like, all right, so I forgot them. So we had to go back. And there's a little hairpin turn on this gravel road. And in my head, I had already passed it because I did once.

Got you. So I was driving way too fast and we rolled into an Elf Alpha field. Damn. Shattered it up real good. Ooh, Elf Alpha field. What the fuck's an Elf Alpha field? What is Elf?

The fields where they grow Elf Alpha. Yes, it's like, it's actually really good. What a way. This whole sudden, what the fuck? You do turn on me? Fuckin' s- I actually like Elf Alpha. I'm sorry. I like it on a sandwich do to be honest with you I don't think anything I don't think I've ever had it. Okay. It's like the fancy sprouts. They put on

Sprouts could have said a sprout field Okay, fucking Mensa Fucking jamming me up over here. All right, all right, so that's the childhood. I mean, you are, I think you are kind of, you are a one of one character, yeah. Does that make sense? No, okay. Only we can see, but I don't get one of one character.

You're like, I mean, we've been doing this a lot you're unique, you're a unique character. I got you. Okay, you did not like that. No, no, no, I do. What I'm thinking of is you say that's the childhood. So, I mean, my old man, this guy stole my identity, ruined my credit. We had a lot of stuff.

What age did he steal your identity? I was maybe 15. Hey, what's so security card to open something up? Yeah, got an apartment, electric phone, no shit. Loans, stuff like that. So then when I was older, I went to get stuff and I an apartment, electric phone, no shit. Loans stuff like that. So then when I was older, I went to get stuff and I was like, they're the good ones.

You had no idea. If you didn't even find out when it was failing, you found out way out. I found a try to get a car loan and they were like, nice try, dude. Damn. Shit. So he stole your identity and then rang up

and want your bills and didn't pay them. Right. He was still alive. Still alive at that point. Any conversation with him about that? No. Nothing. You don't call him and say, yeah, what the hell?

No. Oh. My mom, when I find out about it, I don't know where he is. Gotcha. And then my mom asked to write a bunch of these letters to a bunch of people to say, like, he was living with me the whole time. This wasn't him.

Oh, Jesus. I assure you, my son owns no boats. My little homeboy. My little homeboy. Yeah, what was the stuff? Was it just an apartment? Yeah, just like normal living stuff. Okay.

Nothing too elaborate. What's your sister do now? She is a psych nurse and a search tech. Okay, so it does two different things in two different hospitals. And is she out there in Minnesota, too? Yeah, she lives close to Duluth, Minnesota. Okay.

All right. Okay. Huh, anyone in your family ever get married at the courthouse? I don't think so. Okay, there we go. Things are looking out. Start to turn a little bit. What's the house situation now?

So you were married, you had kids, you and your wife got the voice. Yep. And then you moved away and then moved back. Nope, I stayed put. Okay. So my ex wife and I were eight blocks away from each other just for the kids, for ease of that.

Okay. Still. So I have that house still, okay. My son rents it. Okay. Your son's an adult now. Yep. 24.

And then I moved down to Minneapolis and bought a different house. Okay. And then you also have the lake house. Yes. Three houses. It's too much, I know. That's great. Almost a billion streams. The guy's doing all right.

Yeah, this might pull you out of this. Yeah, I can't wait to get out of this third house deal. What the, the old one. The one that my son rents. Yeah, yeah. Rent a deed, give, give. I'm gonna try to get him to buy it. Yeah, yeah.

Smart. What's he doing now? Coding coding and growing weed nice. Yeah, I think Historically in your bits. He's you all you've always painted him as a bit of a dummy a little bit Well, yeah, just somebody who just the common sense wasn't always there Not meant to me, but I mean it's like the team I'm painting him as a teenage boy Not meant to be. But I mean, it's like the team, I'm painting him as a teenage boy. Really?

Of course, yeah, no, no, no. Yeah, so, but yeah, he, man, he got it together. He was like, I'm not gonna play video games. I'm gonna start making video games and I was like, prune him. Damn. And then he did, so. Okay.

That's fucking awesome. Yeah, I'm pretty jazzed up for him. So you're down in Minneapolis now. Suburban house, suburban house, suburban house. How many bedrooms? Four. Four bedroom house down there. Oh, man. You got a garage on that thing?

You got a three car garage. Whoa! What the? Hello. Attached or detached? Attached. Every now. What are you whipping around tanning?

What are you driving now? Chevy Traverse, that's what I dreamt. Chevy Traverse. Can you park three cars in that garage? Yes. So it's clean enough, organized enough. Well, yes, but I mean you could really really walk around in there If I would do a little bit of stuff. Okay, in between the cars

There is a layer of shit. We haven't brought into the house yet. Okay. What's the backyard situation? So we're on a hill and so we have a little bit of a backyard. It's teared, okay, and it goes off into We have a fence and then it goes off into a slew area. What's a slew? Like a marsh. Oh, marsh. Is it nice? Like a dirty pond.

Okay. Alright, yeah. Okay. Freeze is over in the winter, right? It does, it's alright, yeah, frozen over right now. Get me ice. Get me ice? I wish you could, but there's like, cat tails and stuff. So you would get jammed up a little bit. I was thinking about bringing like one of

those maybe just a lawnmower out there and getting it low enough and then spraying more water on it. I mean, I don't mind. You still play hockey? I got a hip replacement. And so if I fall down and it breaks, I'm in deep shit. Hip replacement. Yeah. Any hot tubs in any of those homes? I have a hot tub in the Minneapolis homes. Stand alone hot tubs? Stand alone.

Outside. Outside. Really? Can you use it in the winter? Oh yeah, really. Just keep it warm enough. You make it payments all that, you pay up front. For the house?

Hot tub. Hot tub came with the house. Hot tub came with the house. Yeah, so technically I am making payments on the house. Yeah. Yeah. And I like it. I've never got anything from Rhett's center.

Of course. Yeah. Ice cream maker for graduation parties. Uh, cotton candy maker. I doesn't. Yeah. We were talking like, do you ever run a couch for two years?

Rent a couch? No. Yeah. The ice cream maker just in the house on a Wednesday. That would be. Yeah. That would be crazy. The kids won't vanilla? Huh.

Ever been to a monster truck rally. Uh-uh. Huh. Will you send stuff back in a restaurant? What's the criteria there? If, yeah, I mean, if it's not what I order, sometimes I'll just get up and leave. If it's not what I order, I'm not gonna,

I'm not gonna take it. I'm not gonna send it back. I always say, let's take a step back. All right. He's a no fuss, no guff guy. You go out to dinner. Okay. All right.

You're sitting down, you've got your appetizers or whatever. And then you ordered, I don't know, bacon cheeseburger. And they come over with a half roast chicken. You're not gonna say anything. You're just gonna get up and leave. In that situation, I'd be like, I don't think this is mine, but I'll give you a specific situation.

The original House of Pancakes. Spokane Washington. And this is not alleged, this happened, I can prove it. Win in there, and Kelsey and I are trying to get some food and she can't have dairy. This is a recent. Yeah, so she's like, hey, you know, can you make this stuff with butter?

And this guy goes, without butter with oil, and he goes, no, no, no, we only cook stuff in butter. And I go, I don't think that's right. Yeah, and they got oil back there. He goes, no, no, no, I mean, we cook everything about, but it's clarified butter to that count. And I go, do you hear yourself saying butter still? So that's butter. Sure.

And then we leave, we didn't order anything and we leave. And I go back the next day, she has a haircut. And I'm like, I'm gonna get this waffle that I've been dreaming about. Cause they have what I think is the greatest waffle in the history of man. I like the nice waffle. Fresh sliced strawberries, homemade whipped cream.

So I go in and I go, I want that really fluffy waffle with the fret blah, blah, this dude brings me a waffle meal with an ego. And that I just, I look at him and I break it right in front of him and I go, what the fuck is this? And then I set it down and then I excuse myself. I go, I'm not a psycho. Bring me the shit. I mean, that's crazy. That's two days of recipe. It was the same server from the day before. Oh, man, you had a chip on the top. You had a chip on the top. You get one chop.

This guy had no idea. I'm gonna get his throat slit. This guy was a bad big potato away from disappearance. Okay. Huh. All right. Split the check. If you go out with like another couple, that's hard for me.

Yeah, why? I don't know what it is about it. I guess I got something in it where if they let it sit for a second, I'll grab. You'll grab it the same way. Okay. Yeah, I respect that. No, Venmo requests. No, no, it's just like, you know, and then you kind of wait for, we'll get it next time or whatever.

Sure, that can't be said. Respect, general move, that's the gentleman's move. I'll give you that. Is there currently any milk crates in that house in Minneapolis? Ooh. But plastic, I mean, yeah, I think maybe for moving pictures. I think I have a little. It's just you in the house, right?

No Kelsey, listen. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. But no kids, no kids, right? Okay. Kids are older, right? All right, they just you in the house, right? There's no Kelsey. That's what I bought it. But no kids. No kids, right? Kids are older, right? All right, they're out of the house. Okay. What's the vacuum situation at the house?

You got a Dyson? One vacuum. It's a shark, I think. A shark. Yeah, shark. We run it up. We have two cats and a dog. So we have whatever the pet version of that is.

Okay. I've got one myself. Too shabby. Have you ever taken a bath at a hotel? I've taken a, when they have the hot tub situation, like the bubble, whatever the, the jujube, jujube, jujube, in the room I've taken those.

Okay. I respect that. We eat in the hotel room. Well, I eat. Yeah, I have a hotel. I'm the only one in the hotel room. Use the ironing board as a table. All right, on my lap.

I'll grab a pillow I'm not using. Okay, and then prop it up. It's after it. Yeah. You have a brand of hotel that you really enjoy on the road. If you can stay at one. You know, I'm just like, I like a Mary out, like a courtyard, just because then it's, you know, it's the same stuff.

No, what you're getting. Yeah, absolutely. No, what you're getting. Okay. Napkin on your shirt, when you eat ever?. No, what you're getting. Yeah, absolutely. No, what you're getting. Okay. Napkin on your shirt, when you eat ever? You know, I've talked this. Yeah, probably when I'm eating a crab or something. Really?

Yeah, okay. Will you swim at the pool? Court yard, Marriott, will you take a dip in the pool and not a tub? Sure, absolutely. Okay. Gentlemen. Any nicknames growing up?

Buzz. And then any rendition of Chad, you can think of. Chad or Chadwick. Sure. Who called you a buzz? My mom. Okay. Hmm.

Do you know how to use chopsticks? I do. Okay. Have you had raisins in the last 365 days? Absolutely. Yeah, I have. Oh yeah. Why? I don't know. I like him. You like right?

He's a part of a raisin field. He just lay out. Chocolate covered. Yogurt covered. No. He's got raisins in his ass. Raisins in almonds. Yeah. All right, a trail mix. No, it's just a bag of almonds. Bag of raisins. You have just a plain bag of raisins in your house. Do it myself. Oh, what's happening?

I feel like I'm losing. Cold shiver. I'm cold shiver of my spine. Are you on the hooch? You drinking at the moment? I drink sometimes. Yeah. With a cocktail at the house.

Not really, I don't often, but we just had a party where I had way too much. Okay. What's the go-to drink if you're indulgent? Maybe just like a, you know, Vakasota. I do like a tequila on the rocks though. Okay. You got booze at the house.

Yep. Nice. You have a bar area set up? It's kind of one of those like little miniature hutch bars. Got you. We have in our dining room. I like it. Okay.

Just had a party. Had a holiday party. Yeah. Okay. December 30th. December 30th. That's because comedians, you know, a lot of times they're working. Sure. It's on 31st. So we decided to have it on 30th. Potluck or did you guys put the spread out? So what I said, we put most of the spread out about all the booze. And I said, if you're proud of or have any sort of nostalgic uh, dessert that you that you want to bring to show it off. It's welcome. Don't need to.

Okay. I like that. I like that too. That's nice because people have pride in it. Like you said, they're like, I want to make my whatever. I would even stretch that from desserts. Like if you have a killer chick buffalo chicken, that's a great way to throw the gauntlet down to. Yes, it really is. Like bring your fucking egg bring your fucking a game Put a little passion into it. You're only making it because you want to knock it you have to what did you guys? What did you guys put out for the guess was in a full dinner? We put out known out of full dinner Real away some tons of bugles We had a lot of reasons

We just race Everybody the fuck you learn the corner what the fuck we had like you know a We just raised this in all this. Dig in everybody. The fuck you learn the corner, what the fuck? We had like a guac, chips, salsa, queso situation. Kelsey made her grandma's famous spicy mustard and then I popped some bavarian pretzels in the oven and had that kind of stuff. Pretty good.

All right. You got a foosball table at the house I presume? I had to. Got to, yeah. That was that You got a foosball table at the house I presume? Got to. Yeah. That was that was a thank you for moving to Minnesota gift. Sure. Anything else? You got a bumper pool table, anything down there?

Pinball. We have a ping pong and we have a dart board. Okay. All in the basement, right? All in the basement. Okay. That's a fun basement, right? Yeah, that's a fun little game.

We're a good basement. And where are you shopping now at the house? Where's your grocery store that you go to? Many Apple. There's a place called Luns and Byreles. Luns and Byreles. Sounds fancy. It is a little fancy, but it's got all the brands you would think.

It's got, you know, it's not like Whole Foods, where you go in there and it's like you, you have to get their brand or some weird ass brand. You've never heard of. I mean, you're going into Luns and Byreles and you're getting chips of hoi, Doritos. It's all I need. Whatever you need.

But then they also have their little flufy sections, whatever. Sure. And are you eating chips of hoi and stuff like that at the house? I'll have, if we came over right now, what's... Can we come over? Yes, absolutely. Right, if you guys have an appetizer

or a dessert that you're proud of, get the hoogie dip, go ahead and bring it. What snacks would you offer us if we were at the house right now? Oh, man, probably a... Do you have chips, Ohoy? No, I bet there are some Oreos though. Cause before New Year's Eve, I was making chocolate covered Oreos,

and then I said that I was gonna try to not eat sugar for a while, you know that deal. Chocolate covered Oreos, you're making for that I was gonna try to not eat sugar for a while. You know that deal. Chocolate covered Oreos, you make it for the party. No, just for myself. Just for yourself. Yeah, I mean, I take a big... You're taking them to the head?

A gobb of chocolate and dump it on. I don't try to make it look nice, anything like that, and then just as soon as it's cooled, get it right away. You're eating them right away. Yeah. Okay. What if we came over and I asked for a water, what would I get when I get a bottle of water?

Do you have out of the filter? You get a glass of water, there's like this reverse osmosis. Is that what you have? Yeah, we're not. You have a reverse osmosis. Yeah, where you have the little skinny, the little skinny faucet next to the main faucet.

Okay. You'd get something out of there. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Yeah, that's not bad. Fridge, double-sided, open like that. No, the fridge is, it's two doors, but it's top is the refrigerator, bottom is the freezer, and then the bottom has like an ice tray that makes its own ice.

Okay. And then there's two long drawers and another skinny drawer next to the ice machine. Okay. When you guys are home, will you guys have dinner together? Will you sit at the table? We sit at the kitchen island. Yeah.

Sit at the kitchen island. We don't have a dining room table yet. No dining room table yet. We sit in front of the TV and watch TV and have dinner. Is that something that can happen? I can, but we have pets that love to be nearest. And so that's a lot. So we just, we keep it on the high top.

All right. And they can calculate That all makes sense. Do you have a go-to karaoke song? And do you do karaoke? I do karaoke. So I mean, when it's called for, I'm never like, we should go do karaoke. I'm not that guy. But if we find ourselves there, I like a rock this town by the stray cats.

Okay. Rock this town, rock it inside out. Yeah. That's a good one. Hold your first concert. That's a great question. Because we're about the same age. First concert may have been a triple header where it was, uh, um, bush, no doubt and, uh, gugudos at the Fargo Doe. That's pretty good. But I was far go down. That was 19 or 20. All right. Something like that. That's a good first concert. I know. Yeah, 19 or 20. I didn't like that. That's a good first. First concert.

I know. Yeah, 19 or 20. I didn't go, I didn't, we didn't have the stuff to get there. Um, do you like your bun toasted? If you have a burger, do you like your bun toasted? So when I'm at the lake house, I will toast it on a flat top. I'll butter it with, well, I'll put mayonnaise on it. Okay.

And then I'll toast it on that. But I don't need it toasted in any situation. Is this an outdoor flat top? Yeah, outdoor, yeah. What other grilling equipment do you have out there? Have a normal gas grill, and then I have a smoker. Trigger? Yeah.

Mmm. How are you on the flat top? People come by, you can do a whole breakfast, you got the hash browns going. Breakfast, we're big fajita people. At the lake place That said it was just Because all you know about us out here. We're big for heat of people. Yeah the calls the sizzle gang basically dump a bucket of it on the flat top and let it

Real okay, so easy. Okay, it's so easy any ATVs or anything out there at the lake house. Nope canoe I have a pontoon boat. You got a pontoon? Why don't you say something? I got a jet ski. How big is a pontoon? You got a jet ski? Yeah, 22, 22 footer. That's a big, that's a nice pontoon boat. You got the bathroom on it, pop up bathroom or no?

No, uh, okay. We had a lake. Sure. That's the best. Yeah. Pontoon boat and a jet ski's got three houses. Uh, okay. Any, uh, obviously.

I am, I am tumbling towards bankruptcy. Just like your dad. It's all in the kid's name. He's never gonna get a career. Never gonna get approved to buy my house. I was gonna ask you guys, what are your middle names? I was gonna ask you guys, what are your middle names? I was, you saw your marriage,

so you were a little constricted, but anytime when you started making money, was there any stupid purchase or you look back of like I didn't need that your first big check You had kids and got married. Yeah I don't think so well. Here's the thing. I didn't start making money till all I mean it was like the day It was almost like I signed the divorce papers and then I got a text that was like your album is going crazy right now Oh shit and then the royalties started coming in. I'm like, what the fuck?

I mean, by every house you see, you're like a hamster. Holy shit. So you did it. You just did it later in life. Yeah, so you're just getting the bond to the end. The lake house. That's what it's.

The trigger. And then every time I see my ex's family, I'm like, I don't know either. I don't know what happened. I don't know why it happened the way it's a trigger. And then every time I see my ex's family, I'm like, I don't know either. I don't know what happened. I don't know why it happened the way it did. Yeah. Ah, ah, ah. I got a couple more here.

Okay. mayonnaise. What's the mayonnaise situation? Helmonds or miracle whip? Oh, that's that. Helmonds. All right. Thank God.

Jesus, I'm gonna freak out. Um, fuck you lose it. In the bedroom, King size mattress? King size mattress. King size mattress, TV in the bedroom. No. No TV in the bedroom. Sealing fan.

Yes. Don't use it though. Don't use it. Right. Any fan on you when you sleep? No, but, uh, what, uh, air fresh or air purifier? For white noise. I have ten of this in my my ears.

So if I sit there in silence, it is just a way. It's pronounced by the way. I mean, it's crazy. Okay, so I've asked Kelsey before I'm like, can you hear this coming out of my ears? And she like puts her ear to next to my ear. And she's like, I can't hear anything. I think it's coming out of here.

I mean, it's that, it's that loud, man. It's that loud. That doesn't make sense. Well, let me get my ear next to ear ear and see if it's ear and what ear ear's ear. That's pretty good. That's weird that you think if you could hear it and hear it ears next to ear ear,

she should be able to hear it. She's like, no, I don't hear it, but I do hear the Wisconsin Delts. All in my name. How many pillows you sleep with? I sleep with one under. And then sometime when I'm by myself, I sleep with under the arm on the side. Yeah, little fake mate.

And what are you sleeping in? Boxers? No pajamas, nothing like that. I hear a robe guy. I have a robe, I use it very rarely. Slippers? No, I use like a lined crocs. Okay. All right. Fair enough. You're taking the shoes off in the house. Yes.

Shoes are off in the house when you come in. That's mandatory. Yes. That's not my rule. Yep. Who shovel in the driveway? You have somebody that does it or you doing it. So I do it on a light day.

If I'm not home, there is a guy that comes by and it costs, I can't remember, 25 bucks. What's a light day out there? Is it still good? Heavy snow? Like did we were kids? I mean, it costs, I can't remember, 25 bucks. What's a like day out there? Is it still good, heavy snow? Like, did we ever kiss? I mean, it will, but we haven't had it yet. Okay. So I just bring the shovel out, take a couple passes. And what do we, what's a heavy snow?

Three feet, four feet. I mean, just anything where you have to shovel just that area, like you put the shovel in and you immediately have to throw the rest of your shoulder, right? That's when you call on a big guy. That's when you call on a big guy. Yeah, that's when you call on a big guy. Who's cutting the grass? You cutting the grass into summer?

I don't know yet, because we bought it the end of summer, and I did not cut the grass. Okay. So it's pretty shaggy. We're gonna have to figure that out. That's all right. Okay, you peeing in the shower? I peeing the shower, yeah. Brush your teeth in there.

Nope. You make the bed in the morning? I pull the comforter up. Pull the comforter. So it's, you know, like a fake make sure you ever write in the book at a hotel. Like we were here and we had a great time at like a bed breakfast or anything like that. No, no, okay. It's evidence. Yeah, you think you want to pay for trail. I'm paying with cash dude. What do you think I'm doing? If he does, he's leaving the

dates of the crime. Will you get cash back when you go and make a purchase at like CVS or something like that? Will you get, like, give me 20 bucks. Never. Use the safe. I don't even know what you use cash for anymore. So I would never have a- How much you got on you right now?

Maybe 30 bucks. 30 bucks. Pretty good. Well, cards that you're throwing around, you got an AMX? Two, I got two, I got a business, and then I got a normal. Okay.

Just because they get me the miles. So that goes when you're, and you like that, that's crazy, Delta. Delta Man, Delta Amics. I do. Two of them, cheers. Here's your gentlemen. Shout out to the Delta.

Credit score is good. It was very good, and then I didn't, so I had to. My bought nine houses. I got my car broken into, and I moved to Minneapolis, they stole my checkbook, so I had to change my account and then I, a couple of accounts, a couple of bills that I needed to switch. I didn't.

GM was one of them. So I lease and I missed, I can't remember, it was like 72 days later something and that's a big thing. Yeah, that's a real big day. A lot of sucks. Should I have one? Will you wash your shoes in the washing machine? No, okay. Well, you don't have the checkbook in your car.

Right in checks. No, no, no, I can't remember why I had it because we were moving down. And I think that I just left it in there because I there were certain things that I just grabbed. That's a good thing. You don't lose the box. Yeah, yeah, loosely. And I threw it into into the passenger seat. Do you have a working printer in that I just grabbed. That's a good thing you don't lose the box. Yeah, loosely, and I threw it into the passenger seat. Do you have a working printer in that house?

No. You cross your sevens. No. Can you write in cursive? Yes. Okay. What's the air fresher in the car at the moment? No air fresher gives me a headache.

Okay. Any time share pitches. If you've ever been to a time share pitch. I have one time in Mexico. We got a $250 gift card or something for one of the restaurants. Okay. Now what you sell that for?

Three, 50. You know me well. Kids are moving. You wash your hair every time you shower? Uh-uh. Was told that's bad. It's bad. What are you using in the shower?

You're using a bar, you're using the shower. I use the, I can't remember the brand. Shower gel. What are you using in the shower? Are you using a bar using the shower? I use the the I can't remember the brand shower shower gel. Yeah, bare skin or Lufa. I use a wash cloth. Use a wash cloth. I go through those quite a bit because I washed my asshole last and then those pile up wash a new wash cloth every time a new wash cloth every shower. Well I wash my asshole. I just told you I can't be spreading around me. Yeah, that's come on No, I don't think I Look at you that's pretty classy. How many times we use a towel

Forever I mean until until it makes me smell like a wet dog. That's tough from the same way. How do you like your eggs cooked over medium over medium? Have you ever been to a Harlem Globetrotters game no okay do you own a police scanner Do you know how to tie a tie yes, how many suits do you own? Probably a couple I'm gonna say To that one is a little too small for me and one's a little too big for okay But I so I don't think I could wear them and look good. Okay, but I have two of them that are who's a designer on them suits. Oh man, what's the anybody's fish? Yeah, there is there's a store at the mall of America that sells these gall damn suits. What start throwing some out? $800 suits. Armani. No, that's way too big. You're talking to the guys. I mean, yeah, you go boss. Yeah, you go box. That's who it is. You get a couple of you go bosses. Yeah, I who doesn't own a suit got it.

Such a stab in the door. Can't not believe I hit that. That's amazing. All the silverware matches at the house, right? You have one complete set. We have, well, yes, but we've also brought from different places. So there it's a hodgepodge.

Okay, you don't have good silverware that you can get. We don't like in a wooden box. Yeah, no, no, no. No, one in box. Have you ever saved a crown royal bag? Younger one as younger when I was bartending yeah any empty cigar boxes in your house at the moment for storage No, okay, if you have a sandwich from a deli, we you dump the chips onto the paper eat the chips out of the bag That's a good one Probably dump it out dump it out

Oh, that's a good one. Probably dump it out. Dump it out. Okay. I mean, yeah. He's trash. Yeah, yeah. Whoa, I love this. I thought he was gonna hit me.

Any magazines in the bathroom? When I said pontoon, I thought I lost it. It almost pulled you out. What? I don't know. No, he's got three houses, dude. That guy does well What are you yelling at me for I know Magazine in the bathroom. I don't think so upon two boats the the fun is boat which makes it true

It's only you can't water you can't lead can't waters keep behind that thing I mean it's only to get drunk on the water pretty much Yeah, you taking out of the water in the winter I do you have to yeah in the driveway was sitting the driveway I have somebody store it. I don't know how to do that stuff. do. Yeah, in the driveway. Was it sitting in the driveway? I have somebody store it. I don't know how to do that stuff. Okay. I got to winterize it. Yeah, that's right.

Have you ever drank on the boat, not all that was in the water? Oh, I've drank on a boat, not in the water, but not mine. But not mine, no. Guys, trash. I don't know what's in there. Gang, he's got a brand new special on YouTube right now. Mixed reviews. I am telling you right now, if you don't know,

he is one of the absolute killers roaming the country side. So do use up a favor. Check him out, Mr. Chad Daniels. Yeah. Thanks for having me on. 100% trash. I love it. Appreciate it.

We're aware with honor. That's a good one. Anything else you want the folks out there to know? You got coming up. Plug any socials website at the pod. Yeah, I got that. Chad Daniels on social media. I got Tempe Tempe coming up and Springfield, Missouri, Oklahoma City, and I'm taping another special March 2nd in St. Paul, Minnesota. There you go. Absolutely killer. If you haven't seen them, you got to go see him. Kippy, what do you got for them? We, you can get your

AYG card game at rUgarBAGE.com and also pick up tickets to Town Hall, New York City, Thursday, May 9th, tickets are going quick. Get them. That's party. Biggest show we've ever done. We appreciate it. Yeah, bring this squad in, come out and see his chat. Thank you again, buddy. We love you very much. Of course, we love you and gang. We love you. And we'll see you next week. Peace.