Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Che Durena Returns!

Episode Date: January 8, 2024

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Che Durena! You know Che Durena from Bertcast, KFC Radio, The Boyscast w/ Ryan Long, Guys we F**ked, Stiff Socks w/ Trevor Wallace, Tik Tok, Stand Up Comedy, his new podcast Thank You Come Again and so much more! Thanks for watching the Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! NYC Town Hall Live Show: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows NEW AYG Card Game: https://areyougarbage.com/products/are-you-garbage-card-game Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Mando: https://shopmando.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Adam & Eve: https://www.adamandeve.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Get 50% off your 1st box by going to https://factormeals.com/Garbage50 and use code GARBAGE50 Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

New York City, New York. The boys are coming to the great white way. I'm Broadway at the town hall theater. May 9th, stand up comedy. Kippy and I co-edline. Then we played a little AYG with the crowd. It's the biggest show we've ever done. We want to sell it out, come out and see us.

Yeah, get your tickets at rUgarbage.com where the RU Garbage Card Game is available right now. For sale, it's over 50 of our favorite questions from the show. Something you have heard. Something you haven't heard. It's a good time to get a play with your friends. Find out who's trash. Yeah.

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Gobbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and age Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is our you garbage. Oh yeah.

So a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that after you're at the classy. Yeah. Or just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, H. Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tuddy's in the new edition. She just got word Accept it

Temple University. There you go. She's taking some classes next semester. I'll be selling weed trying out for the basketball I think that's more of a social move. Sure my co-host is coming at you from right next to me He is the CEO of our you garbage. He's an international business man the gummy bear bandit himself Give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan Har Harbrow send this kid some money. Well, what I'm getting thanks for tuning in as always, please make sure you're ready to use subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are true to real cooking. Then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patrion.com slash are you garbage you go over there you get all your bonus content baby. It's a goddamn party and check out ourrion.com slash are you garbage go over there you get all your bonus content baby.

It's a goddamn party and check out are you garbage.com grabs and tickets for town hall town hall here in New York City Mm-hmm main ninth sounds about right yeah and pick up those are you garbage card games that are going around there flying off the shelves This is off the shelves grab them before they're going gang and have a nice quick shout out to our producer Extraordinary to magic man makes us all look good works the ones the twos the threes and the fours he crosses the T's and he that's the eyes giving up for T-bone with scruffens Toby McMillan everybody there you go what a boys I'm stoked I love this dude we have talk about like breakout comedian of last year my fate my new favorite guy I'm not a fan, but you know, whatever.

That's just me. I like when T-Bode's excited. Take the dog running around the house. It's totally for Jay and skateboarders. He gets excited. And you and Tony Hawk, so you're in good company. Dude, that's great. Me and the same league as Tony.

I love that. Well, that's not be crazy. We have to give him his peanut butter ball and put him in the corner for a little while. Get him his lick pad. Gang the long hair ain't lying. We couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special, guess. Back was again today.

He's a goddamn fan favorite, like the long hair said, he is a fucking international sensation, and he's gonna be at the Wilbur and Boston January 12th. Make sure you pick up some ticks for that. It's coming up real quick and he's gonna be at the Vogue Theater in Vancouver, British Columbia on February 24th. Give it up for the one the only Che Durena. There he is. There he is. The K-Daw. How is everyone doing today? Always, always getting me on the Instagram with the videos. Something pops up. I'm about to see a butthole in your head pops.

I love it. I love it when I get someone caught in that one. They're like they're they're getting involved. They're like, who is this bad? And then I'm like, what are you doing? I know it. I know your face is going to pop up. And before the Cincinnati comes see me.

Get it. Oh man. You just been chained. Yeah, dude. That's like when someone text you when you're doing your business on your phone. Oh man, you just been chained. That's like when someone texts you when you're doing your business on your phone. Your little text pops there. God damn it dude. I had that with you where you've been fighting with me and I'm like, shut up!

What the fuck dude? Oh, just give me 90 seconds. That's like you're like mid stroke, you're getting it going. An important call comes in. You got to be like, hello, this is Che Duranah. How the results in? It sounds like, yeah, you still got the dog collar on. You want to take that off for you?

I love to like, man, I wish there would be a way where I could still have the Wi-Fi coming through, but silence all the calls because I'm a phone jerker. I don't know if you guys are like, if you're jerking off on a computer, you're not crazy. You're in the CIA or something. Yeah, you're desktop You can desktop two screens go in your like like counting daddy It's like minority report with all the shit Buttholes buttholes. No, I like I really like to indulge when I get like multiple tabs open

I got nothing going on my thing if I'm really fucking being a slog. You go multi-tabs on your phone? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You're jumping tabs on your phone? Really? I don't. Start watching the video. This is my ritual.

As I'll open X videos, I'm an X video, guys. That's my go-to porn website. You got that, folks? I'll start scrolling the main feed. I see a video I like. Open a new tab. Go back to the main feed. I see a video. I like open a new tab go back to the main feed Keep scrolling scrolling stockpile. I stock pile. How long is a stock pile session last what are you sitting there having a glass of wine? Fucking weird out get your business done and get out there. It's a goddamn bank job. You don't hang around I jerk off to thumbnails more than anything else that is what it's got in the

I jerk off to thumbnails more than anything else. That is what it's got in his cheek. Oh my, itchy trigger finger. Ha ha ha ha ha. God damn, I always, I gotta go to the bottom of the page. If I don't go to the bottom of the page, I feel like I almost get like I'm missing something. Like I'm like I missed out. There might have been that perfect pain.

You need a hobby. You need a checker's or something. Do some pushups or something. You said you were doing the breathing exercises. Oh, yeah, I'm big on the Wim Hof breathing. I like to do that. I was telling you guys this before. Before I go on stage.

Before the mornbrow man myself, but whatever you choose. I'll do the Wim Hof hyperventilation breathing before I go on stage. I mean, do that for a long time because it gets you really focused. Now I started putting a zen in and then do the Wim Hof at the same time.

So I get this like nicotine boost and those breathing thing in. I'm having the sets of my life. I'm feeling like. I'm feeling like. I'm feeling like. I'm feeling like. I'm feeling like.

I'm feeling like. I'm feeling like. I'm feeling like. I'm feeling like. I'm feeling like. I'm feeling like. I'm feeling like. I'm feeling like.

I'm feeling like. I'm feeling like. I'm feeling like. I'm feeling like. I'm feeling like. I'm feeling like. I'm feeling and I bombed so bad. And I was like, never again in my physically prepping for a set. No, no, no, you go on rough and then you, that's though, you get warm as you go. You're sick, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Warm up. Yeah, I did.

I used to sprint back and forth and the, like outside for a little bit. Where? Like run up to block and run back. Just like you were mugging somebody. I mean, you were 40 when you started coming. Just a 40 year old man and some other guys closed. Running down 17 streets. Just sprinting at you.

Just women screaming. Oh my god. They're cowardly. My baby. Shut up, lady. I got an open mic. I gotta get to. I'm up next.

They called my name. He's sprinting through, just knocking people over. I got 10. I got 10 this time. Police dog, hot on my trail. I's sprinting through, just knocking people over. I got 10, I got 10 this time. Police dog, hot on my trail. That's my biggest fear, man.

A police dog. Fuck that, dude. I'd be like, just not gentle. Just fucking stab me or something. Whatever. Ooh. Yeah, I mean with the days, dude. Don't send the German Shepherd after me.

Apparently they're not allowed to shoot you in the leg. Like to like slow you down. They got, they got to use like, tas they're not allowed to shoot you in the leg, like to like slow you down. They got it, they got to use like taser and me, something shooting you in the leg is like, oh, a cruel and unusual punishment or something. That's also shit in the movies, man. You're gonna miss. Oh, true.

You know what I mean? Somebody move it, the legs are tough to hit. Yeah. Yeah, I'd be really squirrely with those two fucking dancers. Doony Irish jig, baby. Doing this thing. Sorry, he's Doing this thing. Sorry, he's doing the robot. Can't get a lock on him.

Doing the worm down the street. You'll never get me, copper. There's that all time one of the dudes getting tased and he's like fighting with his wife or something. Or somebody and he gets tased. And as he's getting tased, come on, fuck you up. Point to whoever he's fighting with, then he lays down.

God damn it. That guy's coming back for vengeance. Just wait. Just take it. You're going to get yours. What else is cooking, brother? Oh, what else is cooking right now? I mean, I've been having like, I'm pretty, keeping a pretty low key right now.

I've been trying to cut out the booze, trying to do the dry January. I was trying to cut the porn for January 2. I started getting deep in the porn too much. Just like, what's this? These tabs only. He's on page 987. One more page. And just folk, I'm trying to focus on getting back in like good, good shape. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're an in-shape gentleman. I used to be like, I used to look good. I used to look good. So I want to get back to that focusing like you know doubling down on standup

I want to get into some of the bigger clubs in New York this year, too Or so I'm like I'm in a lot of the B clubs very Driven yeah very game game plan orient calculated a good way. Yes career is always been like the big driver for me That is like focus on that but your energy into, and then all the pieces kind of come around that and everything else works good. So everything I'm doing this year is very career oriented per usual. Yeah, I want this gotta be my mentor.

I know, it's crazy. My life goes, he's good, good kid. We kind of fell into this and then really started drinking. Okay. Ah! I do miss the booze a bit. Like I like a good booze hang with the boys. When you just, oh you just spanked fast fucking throw a cup. I'm big UFC guy

So like just the fights are on like you go There's a fucking meme with Shane Gillis. You know that that it's like oh you're gonna take me to Buffalo wild wings To watch all the pre-limps and all the fights and it's that Shane Gillis thing where he goes you try to make me come dude Love that shit. it's so good. Shout out to the young bull. What's a cocktail? You're out drinking, what do you get? Ooh, I'm not a beer drink.

And are you a dive bar guy? You a swanky club guy? What are you doing there? Dive all the time. I love a dive where it's like shit all over the walls, weird stickers and shit. Bathroom smells like pissed. That is like, that's a go-to for me.

And I'll usually like, my standard is a tequila soda. That'll, I can drink those all night. But if I'm out on a date, I'm, and there's like a cocktail list that has like seven, eight cocktails. I'll be like, let's fucking, you have one. I like that. Yeah, and then we'll just start working through it.

I went to Greece recently. Right? And I had the best cocktail I've ever had in my fucking life, dude. This guy made an old fashioned that was like sweet and they put like an oatmeal cookie in it. And I was like, I drank like five of them. Damn. Yeah, so I missed that place.

Yeah. Okay, and where's the date for you? You're a, you know, a single-ish man, I think, running around town. You, by the way, the one night that I saw, he was like a Friday night, you were one of your boys. I'm like, what are you guys doing? You going, like you were going to the bakery. I'm like the bakery the bakery It's a cool bar. You don't know about you

We're going to Martha's bakery to get like cheesecake or something like that. Yeah. Yeah, that's true That's true, but Martha's bakery. That's a staple where I got if boys come to town It's like seeing Superman getting beat up. I was like, yeah, man I want to hear you're going an orgy or something like that. I did have a buddy in town and we went pretty hard in the paint. We drank almost every single day and he's a big movie guy. We go to movies together. So we saw movies and then we'd get drunk, see movies get drunk.

And then one day we were so hung over that I was like, do you want to go out? He's like, can we just like play Fortnite? Yeah, let's do that. I'm nearly turning to a nine year old. But yeah, going on a date, usually you'll take a girl to like, not a fancy place, but a place that is something good. Like, oh, this spot is really known for like a really good burger and you can sit down and have a drink.

So you do dinner off-ripp. You don't do the, let's get a drink, see how things, see how our personality's matched or whatever. Sometimes we'll do that, but I feel like food is a good sales point. And also, if you want a girl to be like, Intia, it's like, I'll take you, I think girls really like a spot that it's like, it's fun.

If I want a girl to be in to me, I'm not taking her watch me eat a burger. I'm telling you, that's not gonna seal the deal. It's just like Jesus Christ. I mean, hers. Do you have a tied pen on you, I mean, she's gonna finish that in. What's up?

I haven't even started, actually. Yo, but yeah, I wanted a hole in the wall spot that's cool and kind of trendy or something like that. That I think is a good place to bring a check. Picking up the check? Yes, always. Always. I don't think I've ever not picked up the check.

Gotcha. Really? Yeah, no, I think that's the move. And you just like, you want to be a dude, too. Sure. There's a modern man to a certain extent. There's a lot of things I'm modern on but that is like yeah I'm still a fucking do a shiver us at the end of the day when I was waiting tables I would see that so much it'd be like some dime piece I'm

like you're gonna fuck this guy you kidding me yeah and he's fucking put down three credit cards yeah exactly that's fucking nice they're independent women hang I also want to pay sure or he's you used to do the dirt bag thing of my wife would, when I was broke, my wife would vendmo me money. And so I could pay. So I could represent, I could present like I'm paying. That's so funny. Yeah. It's a keeper right there. Yeah. She's got to keep up a piercing. Dude, it's like, yeah, I'm the man of the house. Yeah. It's like, yes, you are a sweetie. You're the man of the house. He was three bucks in there too,

and we get some gum. I want to get my gummy bears after. Not a proud man. Oh, yeah. Oh, I was jammed up. The days were, you know, they weren't great back then. This is when you were dating. Oh, I would also maybe married.

No, not yo, dating's worse in the beginning. No, we were date, that would happen if we were all going out. There'd be like, if we all went out and everybody's like, all the dudes were like, all right, throwing their credit cards up to chop up like a 10 person thing or whatever. She'd shit me maybe like two hundred under the table. I got it, I got it, babe, put your card away. She didn't have the men's room for you, behind the toilet.

You want a chick like that, you want a lady who's like on board when it's not going. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And she was. Yeah, she also funded this whole thing by the way. She's running a puppet government. Yeah, we call her the foreign investor. She's the one who, yeah, literally used all her stolen money from somewhere.

Dude, and it paid off. It paid off. She back she packed good she back good She back good, but now she's walking around asking for you know points on the back end Your your loan was paid back in full all right Can you give me this purse? I don't know, but I think you've seen our agreement is sealed Yeah, I'll let me 200 bucks a dinner if you want to get you whatever you want just then mommy Let's get to some cues boys. Let's do it gang. Uh, please. Thank you. Oh, sorry. I apologize. Okay, I got weird Yeah, as you know when you sign up for the old picture, I can have a question read right on the year mm-hmm

I do that's the same thing we always say. I know, okay. You're right. You're going to do that right now. I swear to God, we'll go right now. Fucking weather man over here. Yeah, so when you sign up for the Patreon, you'll get your garbage question red. Only you can do the same thing.

Yeah, so here we go. Let's see, this is Kenay, it's different. I know. Yeah, so here we go. Let's see, this is Kenne, your Canadian boy. So this is the Prince of Trash, since 1995, Canadian homey here never had one red. Anyone else's family leave the important legal documents in the freezer? What? That's, I've heard, I think I've seen that

like mob movies or something, you would see. I've never done that. No, no, no, no. My dad sent me like basically a whole bunch of shit that I became his. I can't remember what it's called, but like if No, no, no, no. My dad sent me like, basically a whole bunch of shit that I became his. I can't remember what it's called, but like if he gets sick, I take over. Exactly.

Exactly, or a power of attorney, or something that gets switched over. I kept that in my sock drawer. That's where that went. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'll never look here. They'll never, and I think I lost it too. I think I lost.

I mean, he never worked. You got copies. So I hope nothing happens. I don't know what the fuck they do. Yeah you got copies. So I hope you, nothing happens. I don't know what the fuck they do. Yeah, I don't think I have any. I have a couple for this, like there's like a lease, I have in like a binder that I think is in my closet. Yeah.

That's the best I could do. I got no clue where my birth certificate is. I went in the mine. Oh, you found it? Not too long ago. I think there's pizza sauce on it, but yeah. Yeah, that's fine, dude. That just means it's authentic. Yeah. This is on it, but yeah. Yeah, that's fine, dude. That just means it's authentic.

Yeah. This is original pizza sauce. Yeah, Tim. Yeah. You don't need your ID. You don't need your ID. You don't need your ID. Oh, yeah.

Two things. I had lost. Anytime we had to do that stuff when we were a kid, you know, like if you had to bring your social security card or your birthday, you know, like little league, lose it. Yeah. My mom would freak out. I've lost my birthday bit like twice I understand there was all you needed your birth certificate like once every two years or whatever not You wanted a birth certificate to play little I don't know that's insane You're like whatever like what yeah, I remember that don't lose it. I swear if you lose it

What's there a bunch of kids coming in fake in the rage? Just like you know this kids 25 25 full mustache just fingers. Yeah, Danny Tusk it daring. I'm nine years old. It's my wife Patrice And we're in the third grade seem to shoot and up fucking trend in the bullpen We wrapped this up. I can be like a work in a half an hour that in social security cards You thought they were gonna be the most important thing ever and it's like you know You never need your stuff like something from Lord of the Rings

You have to carry it used to be like it's like a pirate's map Get the hold it up to a light Nuts thrown in the fire to see what it really says The Oracle one fat kid to rule them all. Yeah, fuck it, it was track. Cause I had it in my wallet for a long time. For about four years. That was the time you had it, yeah.

That would know, but for about four years, maybe five years ago, that was my main identification. I didn't have a license. Oh really? Yeah. I had it, I could drive, but I just didn't have a driver's license. Yeah. Yeah. You're just driving with that. So if you got pulled over, you showed him a Social Security card. That's okay. I wasn't no. I wasn't driving back then. The only thing that I ever got away with it I told you is I I flew from New York to Atlanta with my Social Security card. They let you do that. No picture ID.

Who else would be 202 9908 for it's me. Yeah, I couldn't believe they did it. This is maybe five years ago. And they were probably like, ah, whatever. This guy's in bed. He needs this. He needs this. Give him a peanuts, put him in a back row.

Give me two meals and a couple of headphones. Sell these with your land. Dude, I would like to see you pull that off with the turbine. Let's see if you can. No, not a chance. No, no way. Not a chance. Not a chance. No way.

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That's Adam and Eve.com promo code garbage. Adam and Eve.com code garbage doing. Jamming in. Bepatti in the 80s and 90s. She doesn't do it anymore because we made her stop. Because I think she lost something when she got a new refrigerator one time. She left it in there, but she used to have everything

was in there. Jory. Jory, things that probably weren't even worth anything they were just sentimental value She would have them in the freezer like under the chicken or something like that. That's wild. I've never heard of this before But is that like if you break in no one's gonna I I still keep stuff in my It's so funny like hide stuff and I'm like, no one will look here

and I'm like, this is where they would look. It's always in like a top drawer somewhere. Yeah. So you put it somewhere, you don't forget it, but it's also going to be the first place someone comes in and rips open a drawer and is like, oh, there's an envelope. Well, it's in the freezer. You got to put a hammer in there so you can smash it. Shatter your dog's pants. That'd be real crazy. If you're freezing stuff like your old GI Joe's when you were a kid, yikes. I do keep one thing in my dad's earn.

I figured no one's gonna look in there. Yeah, yeah. Putting stuff in the ashes? Yeah, not in the ashes. I'm not buried there. I'm not a cockapoo. What is it? It's my dad's ring.

I keep it in there. All right, so that's a little, that's not yours though. It is mine. Yeah, but that's also, it was, I got a fair and square Indian inheritance. I'm saying you're not putting your extra set of keys in there. So, dude.

You're not like, it's not, that's part of the tribute to your father. My weed in there. Yeah, you're not fucking, it's weird, you open that thing and it's just a, it's literally a fucking plastic bag of ashes. Yeah. Didn't take him out of the bag. You got to unzool, let him breathe inum breathing a little. You don't you don't put it in there. I think so no

No, you're not my stick on my hands and that's my goddamn father It'll be as thoughtful for all I know which part of dad is this Which part do they give you give him the cock? Here the urn moaning I Think you're supposed to take it out and just keep it in the urn, no? No. I have no clue man.

That's right cleaning. I don't think you should be in a plastic bag. Hey, thanks not sitting up on a plastic bag myself. You got a fat sack of dead. I was a heavy bag. He eyeballed it. He eyeballed it. I didn't have a digey on it.

Two keys in my father right there. Not stepped on either. Dude, yeah, you put it in with the Coke to chop it up a bit. We're trying to spread this out a lot. You're tasting, oh, that's good, dude. That's pure. You put a pocket knife, make my face go numb. Yeah, no, you don't touch that.

You leave it in the bag in the air. And I didn't even think that was gonna unscrew, but it did. Oh, shit. He's trying to see go. I mean, who the fuck would look in there? No one. Goddamn scumbag.

But most people would have the heebie-gb's. Yeah, and I think if you're a thief, you have some level of respect. I sure. I did talk to a guy in the controls. You don't mess with that. I talked to a dude at a show who said that he would rob people. He did time in prison for a burglary.

And he's like, oh, we would steal like TV's laptop stuff. And he's like, we would steal the show who said that he would rob people. He did time in prison for a burglary. And he's like, oh, we would steal like TVs, laptop stuff. And he's like, we would steal the remotes. Just a fuck with you all. Take all the remotes. That's very, that's very, very, very, very, very. What? Leave a TV and steal the remotes.

Oh, I'd fucking freak out. Yeah, I did. We have two now. Oh, just in case. Yeah, because I fucking, I can't find it all the time. Yeah, yeah, so there's always one. Yeah, there's always one floating around But did you notice now all the remote's there's no batteries? It's all solar yeah

What the fuck what are we gonna greenhouse exactly? We gotta put that thing by the window yeah, no, it should the room light should do it now mine keeps running out I gotta put it by the window. Thank you watching too much TV. You pick a channel put it by the window. Thank you for watching too much TV. You pick a channel and let it heal a bit. Well, yeah, keep it my dad's earn. I love the idea you just setting it like a plant. Yeah, I do.

I'm praying with water. It's so much. Hey, 10 more minutes, we can watch our shows. Talking to it to give a good vibe. Play a little Mozart. And people aren't stealing TVs anymore though, right? Too big. They're too big and they're not enough money.

Yeah, you're not flipping that for nothing. Yeah, like a phone. Unless like a crack head I guess maybe would, but like, oh dude when they, I feel like a burglar you're not. When they steal the McDonald's TVs. I never see that. Oh, yes, you know McDonald's they have like the menu

will be like on a TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all it shows. So programmed in there. Yeah, I'll steal one and then I'll fucking sell it to somebody they'll get it home and look it up and fucking it. It's only McDonald's only McDonald's just a value. No, that's so funny.

Which I wouldn't mind have one of those just in the house's decoration. Exactly. And if it like updates like new prices. And they got the items. They're still updated. Yeah. Jim Rocks. I expect.

Okay. 20 minutes. Love it. I say you know you're a fat ass if I have that in there. Like a McDonald's ticker. Yeah. Go with like old school wall street. Oh, it's back there. They fixed ice cream machine of the one down the street.

Let's go. All right, let's see. This one's from Dr. O's, Epic, ever eat something for money? Eat some, oh, that's a comb run of a question. Because if you have your trash, and probably a lot of people have to I think I I must Of I must eat something for money every crew had a kid when you're a

Something for five bucks. Yeah, yeah, I wasn't that kid But I definitely have like we you know, we make like a shit mix and you just like pour a bunch of shit into a blender or something I think I've eaten something like that I can't remember what the fuck it was though, but it was for sure horrific. Yeah, we had a kid on the cross bus eat a callus a callus a callus on the bottom of somebody's foot Jesus Christ. Yeah, he sliced it off and then he did he go up it or chew it. Oh no way That's cannibalistic that's human flesh. I think he's dead now Cannibalistic that's human flesh I think he's dead now He know that is a huge palace

Tongue won't stop it you oh there was this story out of fucking newfoundland The fuck are you reading and here's Che with the Canadian report This guy ate two loonies. This dude, he got dared, he dug up bodies, dug the skulls, and then made soup in the skulls. Yeah, and ate that. That's something different. That's not eating like a chili pepper. In his defense, it was a double dog dare. No, noof in land. That's the one chip challenge

That's a Folism holy shit man get a booger. We yeah Holy in my early 20s My cousin married a guy who was on the who's in the NFL so we had a lot of cash. Yeah, it was dead broke So every time we were drinking I always I was the idiot that would do anything for yeah Yeah, yeah, it would be like jumping that lake. I'm like okay Ten bucks. I'm like no problems there. Please. We're the wedding step it on a rake at a Christmas party There was a lot of beer shot like you can't jog that picture in two minutes or like whatever

You met the wrong guy, let's go. You don't know how poor I am. I'll get drunk and cash, let's go. Babe, I don't need a Venmo this time. I got 20 bucks or eat my own fucking shit. That was that Philly thing with a dude ate the horse shit, right? Oh yeah, that was in Philly and that was a moment of pride for him, is after the Eagles won the Super Bowl.

Yeah. The horse shit. I go for Philly every year now Eagles won the Super Bowl. Yeah, the the the horse shit I go for Philly every year now to win the Super because I want to see shit like he sent me there There's a great video that I had seen right before you sent it to me the other day of that old guy at the Eagles game who gets drunk Yeah, the girl pushes on many falls and he can't get up dude. I've been that guy I heard a try to get up. Yeah, are you gonna pull yourself up and you realize your motor skills aren't there? Yeah, hold on. I mean, let me recalibrate. You start like kickin' her because he can't get up. He's like, well, I'm not done fighting yet. Yeah, still got some fight left of it. That kind of happened to me in, where were we? San Francisco. Remember I was sitting in that chair and it broke and I like, I like went down and couldn't have the narrowed down. I couldn't really get up. It's a real you guys had these

came a Cisco somewhere it was one of those shares that has like the L. Yeah, there's no there's no back legs. It was Chicago. Yes, and we were getting ready to record a patreon episode in Chicago and he sits down and then like this and we were like, oh, hey, we'll help you I had done up a lot too. I was like 60 pounds I'm the fuck Let me hold my pride I'm like dude, you're on the ground that all bride is out the door. I was kicking them Yeah, it's crazy man like dude that guy's like 60. Yeah, dude what the fuck could have happened Well, you're fucking yelling at some woman. Yeah, actually you're trying to fight her. You might have had a good reason Just drink that much you get into it. You're a new person. You forget who you are

Of course, and you're mad about whatever happened if you're drinking that much You're you know, you're probably not in a great emotional state. I mean he was scooching. Yeah, he was scooching trying to I'm not a coach in trying to get back at it. I felt so bad for a lot of dudes. Get out of here. A guy in my family went viral. A guy in my family, he's pushing 90 something and he got in a fight over a parking spot at a wall on a went viral like on board stool.

He fought like an 80 year old or something. I love it. And there was like four punches, five punches thrown, none landed. They call it the stumble in the jungle or something. He like fell off the curb. And then like he tells the story like, yeah, he didn't know it when Vierge is like a grandfather. Yeah. He didn't know it when viral. So we were like, oh, what happened? He's like, yeah, I fucking hit him on the left. I hit him on the right.

I'm like, you have three times and broke your hip. Dude, in his mind, it was like the fucking the lights the people are cheering. So it was losing it. The wall walk gives them free sandwiches for life. So I go back to making out with this broad. Yeah, it was very much that, you know. I had no idea there was a video footage. But I do appreciate a video where an old guy fucks up a young guy.

Oh yeah, yeah. That's great. Just like with a real, like real solid 60, 70s technique, just a, just connects. Yeah, and he's like, you don't know what I've been through, man. I've seen, I would never, never. Saying cool shit like the sweet science never changes. Yeah.

I give you the one, too. Yeah. Always talking weird shit to. Yeah. Yeah. Man. Whew. That's all, I get a lot of videos too of a drunk guy

or some street tough guy who comes in and is like, I'm 88 and you know, in street fights and he walks into like a gym of some sort, either martial arts or boxing. And he gets fucking war. And that guy, the master or the fucking new coach or whatever, is always real like, I come on, let's go.

Yeah. And then they then lose it at some point. They want to talk shit. I got one out of that. And they're just fucking, like, yeah, get them, dude. Did you ever see vice grip? Vice grip? Yeah.

So there's this fight page called Street Beefs. I think it's in Florida and it's all backyard fighting in like a cat literal like fence case. Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. They're not, it's all backyard fighting in like a literally like fence Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes They're not gotta be illegal Oh, I think it's super illegal and it's just dudes who have like a little training or something and they're some guys fighting like suits

it's very strange It's wild And there's this guy went on called ViceScript and ViceScript was like, I'm 67 years old I've trained my whole life, I've never fought I wanna see what I got And he fought and I think he had one win and two losses but it was very am like he wasn't like shitty he was just like, I wanna see what I got. And he fought and I think he had one win and two losses. But it was very, like he wasn't like shitty,

it was just like, I wanna see if I got it. And I was like, fuck yeah, vice grip. I like your shit. 67 years old. You might maybe wasn't that old, but he was old. He was old. Yeah. It's like some 25 year old and khakis and you sure.

Dude, he beat up one young kid and knocked him out. And I was like, let's go. I'm a born. That's an old guy. If you're justified, that's got to feel so good. Oh, yeah. Going back to the VFW or whatever. That's so good.

Yeah, drinks are free on that guy. We had a guy do that, but he looked like an asshole. We were at some party in high school and the mom had just gotten divorced. So she like knew that we kind of hung out in there and like, you know, she was like dating and you know, she was younger and all that stuff. So she had like a couple of dudes with her like a her guy She was dating and then another couple and looking back they were probably 35 40 at the time But we were like 16 and these other kids showed up and we were boys with them But they just weren't allowed to come into the house and we were like the mom was like talking to them outside

Like everything was cool and this guy just comes running down the fucking driveways. Yeah, whoa you say get the fuck out of here And he grabbed the one kid and just starts wailing him in the face. Jesus didn't do any things Yeah, I was fucking 40 years old. Yeah, he is a kid took the punches like another day It's because I alright dude. What the fuck man? Yeah, we had the opposite of that was a graduation party Parents had left too much booze for the kids. You know what I mean? Like that's when you start drinking your 18, that you sneak in beers in.

We're all down. We're on the back deck, man. And a scuffle breaks out between us. You'd be like, if me and Foley got in, like, I fuck you, fuck you, and kind of start pushing each other, whatever. I think we're both crying. No fizzies.

We're pinching each other. Both lost the fight. No fizzies. Yeah. We're pinching each other. And this kid's older, significantly older sister's new husband. It's like, we said no fight. And dude, he came out and was clearing the deck like wrestle meaner. He was dude, you're getting tossed. He's fucking closed. And we were all like, we all tried to be like,

hey man, like grab him. And then it was just like, not happening. No, I'm fucking on the loose. And it was, I love it. It was like that video of that dude in like the vest with the tie. Did you ever see that one? I had to, it's famous. It's like the meme is like when, uh,

when you try to, when I try to be my brother, try to take my dad's keys after 12 jacking cars. That's what you're talking about. There's a huge, like Irish looking guy. Oh yeah. I try to be my brother try to take my dad's keys after There's no reason I was looking He's wearing like a moped for the sun He's beating the shit out of those dudes That's what that dude that dude came in with those vibes He just cleared out like 10 18 year old. That's how you wanted to go though You don't want it to go the other way where it's like, yeah, your sister's husband and he's an older guy

and then gets beat up by a minute. Beat it. Oh, fuck, you don't live that down. Some kid kicks your ass. I always say it, man, the guys that go to football games like that, like older guys with their kid and they get into a fight and get beat up in front of the kid. It's like, and you look at the kid's eyes

and you're like scarred for it like. It's also probably not the first time that's happened in front of that. And it definitely won't be the last. But you gotta lose a lot of respect and love for the man. For sure. And beat up in a Barry Sanders jersey. Jesus Christ.

How? It's got stains on it and shit. Come up, there's mustard all over your head. Beer and shit. Yeah. What? Why are you lucky? Are you done? Are you done?

You're done? You're done? You're done kicking my ass in front of my kid? Things would have been different if I didn't have this foam fingers. Yeah. Man, the kids just like, no, not my dad, my one hero. I so want to know the story behind that guy in the Mumford and Zon's outfit. To a dead.

It looked like waiter fights They look they look like they had just done a double shift or something like that He was fighting two food runners It's no they're in the dough. They're in like boxes. They're in fighting gear He's wearing jeans and he looks like he's he's day bartending somewhere I thought looks like he's working a brunch here Dude and he they put it in slow motion and he's fucking really whoopin Oh, yeah, yeah, well, he's like seven feet tall.

Yeah, there's other guys like five three. What a man. That's the matchup you want to see. Oh, yeah, yeah. Vers one huge guy who can throw a make dude. Yeah, why don't they start doing that? I don't know. You know, see and stuff like that.

That would be awesome. That's what UFC used to be. There's no weight classes. Dude, there's always like a 400 pound guy versus a fucking 100 pound guy. But never two on one. Well, you used to be, there was no way classes. Dude, there's always like a 400 pound giver, so fucking 100 pound guy. But never two on one. No, there was two on one would be, oh right, there was a.

Dana! Oh, I can't open it. Come! Hey listen. Yeah, Dana, fix a fordor, fix a fordor. Yeah, he's the man. Love him. Well, that's kind of what happened with like the YouTube boxers.

I'm like, yeah, show me a spectacle. Oh, yeah, yeah. Show me a spectacle. Oh yeah, yeah. Show me somebody actually getting the shit. Oh, something crazy. On either side. I want to see the circus of it all. Two Bobcats versus a guy or something like that. You see the Midgets race a camel?

What? Yeah, there's this old thing called man versus beast or something, it was a TV show. And they had like eight crates in a relay race a camel. Shit. Shit. Shit. Who want the camel? Of course.

Those things can move. Take a horse. Yeah. That's nuts. It was so great. Oh God. All right, let's see here. This is from Foley's Kudos bar.

Is it trashy to clip your keys to your belt loop on your pants? I've been doing this for most of my adult life and they'll reach at least someone said I look like a janitor. Toby. Toby doesn't clip. Yes he does. to clip your keys to your belt loop on your pants. I've been doing this for most of my adult life. And they'll reach at least someone said I look like a janitor. Toby. Toby doesn't clip. Yes he does.

You clip your keys? Carabiner dude. No, I got no carabiner. I used to be a clip. Way into it. Way into it. It used to be six months ago. Two years maybe.

The old studio you were for sure. For sure. And I think about it. Yeah, but that was a that was a while back. Okay. A clip. It's two years ago. I think it was about it? Yeah, but that was a, that was a while back. Okay. A clip of it. Two years ago. I think it was about a year and a half.

Yeah, but it's been a long time saying, like, keys clipped to the, clip of the jeans. Okay. Now, why, did you just have so many keys that could put it on your pocket? Well, it's, what's the thing? I'm incredibly responsible, Jay.

Oh, that, how are you losing, like, they go in your pocket and they only come out when you lock the door? No, that's a look thing. That's a look. Yeah. Because a lot of guys who look like you do that a lot of barbacks. Yeah, that fuck they're running around with a case of Fuck a lot of guys on by how my bike locks on it. Yeah, okay, okay That makes a little more sense that it was like a lot of guys with ice buckets coming downstairs jamming me up

As I'm trying to get upstairs. Sorry man. Sorry Oh, you got to get in the freezer, hold on a second. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's, you want people to know you're kind of got stuff going on. Sure. It's a look. It's practical. I'll give you that.

It's practical, but it's all on property. You're like a janitor. Yeah, you got so many doors to open, but I have like three I think I have two keys I know I've three have one for the front door one for my place and then the mail key that those are all my keys You're rolling out just a day three keys three keys. That's it. I'm three keys, too. Yeah. I don't got what else I don't have a key today here. I have one for the door, but not downstairs because it's too many keys I don't like having a lot of keys. There you go. You just probably got about eight eight eight keys Holy shit. No key chain. No nothing got about eight. Eight? Eight keys.

Holy shit. No keychain, no nothing. Just no, no. No keys in your fucking pocket. I mean, just the hook. Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you were talking about you just got eight keys.

Yeah, that would be crazy. That would be crazy. I was constantly fumbling. Did you work in the Matrix? No, I have apartment keys. Apartment keys, keys to here. And that's it. Yeah. Okay, okay. That's not that crazy. Yeah.

There's a lot of keys to here. Tody keeps stuff on fucking locked up. Yeah, you want to look good for 2024, don't you? Look tight, tighten it up. I tell you how you do it. Uh huh. It's not going to the grocery store, taking a bunch of time, making a bunch of stuff, meal prepping, all that stuff.

We're talking factor. America's number one one ready to eat meal kit. It's ready in two minutes. They're nutritious. They're delicious. I don't know what else to say. Yeah, all you got to do is heat them up for two minutes. That's it. I try to make a sweet potato in the oven yesterday. It's still in there. This is two minutes. You're cooking. It's seriously that easy. Uh, all jokes aside, we've been huge fans of factor for a very long time before they were even response to the podcast. Shout out to the factor. It's seriously that easy. All jokes aside, we've been huge fans of Factor for a very long time before they were even in response to the podcast. Shout out to Factor, it's a great product.

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Slash garbage 50, news code garbage 50 to get 50% off. Five zero, that's garbage five zero. At factermales.com, slash garbage five zero to get 50% off. Do it, do it. The carabiner got pretty popular. Oh yeah. For a while, that's people started really using those.

Oh, I for sure started off, it was a fashion move without question. And becomes practical. Not on your tight black jeans, you clip it on the back head. Yeah, it's always, it's always to the back right. It's never in the front. Yeah.

It's always on that back half. It's always at like nine o'clock. I can't, anytime I try to make a move towards fashion, like even if I put on a collared shirt, I'm like, you fucking idiot. And I just, I can't. I only think that's a move to it. This guy was you were matching sock to me, nuts.

Who am I? I'm not wearing sweaters. Yeah. Oh my Johnny Depp. I would use the, and I loved them when they first came out, when people worked in offices and it's on a zip tie. I had my, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore, when I wore zip tie. Oh, I had my, when I work at, when I, when I, when I, when I,

when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I home and whatever that's coolest shit. Yeah, the lighter leash on those things is pretty tough My buddy shot the right. Yeah, they have those they clips and then it's like My buddy Ryan shot the deli. He's a listener. Use that In our 20s I always got it all these You'd be outside of a bar and you'd be like

The thing with that is like let's it go. It's like someone's like oh you took my light I thought about putting a sticker on the lighter so I'm like no one will take it But then I'm also living as a guy that's like I can't lose the lighter Anybody that anybody that gives you shit that much yeah cuz I'm a bad he's bad Lighty steel he steals them and then like months later, I'm like, that's mine. It steals them then doesn't use them. Looses them, finds them again. You just brought one from Circle K.

You gave to me yesterday. Yeah. I'm like, dude, I remember buying this. Yeah. But if you care that much, it's like, it gives you. I don't care about the lighter at all. The thing that jams me up is, especially when we're on the road together, we share lighters a lot.

You know, it's like, who has a lighter, right? And when, so you're, if you're on stage, sometimes you go up on stage with it in your pocket. I use it in a green room. I make it conscious. I've got it in a while. I just decision, yeah, usually to make sure, because I know you're gonna be coming out looking very.

Come off stage looking for a heater before we go back on. And I'm like, it's like the only lighter in the building is it's been taken. Yeah, yeah's been taken. You do feel like a loser when you have to ask people you don't know if they have a lighter. They don't have a lighter and they give you, I'll go see if I can find one. Oh yeah, when you're at a show, they're like, they like, we'll do anything. We'll make it.

We want to make you comfortable. The Danny smokes. I'll go ask him. He's a stuck in the freezer. We don't know what Danny is. And Danny's usually real, doesn't like giving out his lighter because everybody steals I'm comfortable. The Danny smokes. I'll go ask him. He's a stuck in the freezer. We don't know what Danny is. And Danny's usually real, doesn't like giving out his lighter because everybody steals and it worked from there.

God damn it. I'm not a smoker, so I don't really have that problem too much. Every now and again, you got the weed going around. Sure, sure. A lot of free weed in comedy. I'll do bit, just. A lot of, we were somewhere where they gave us an amount of drugs that was like,

I mean, we have to fly in a tower. Toronto, dude. Yeah, we have to fly in a tower. Toronto, dude. Yeah. You have to call us an international brother. Bro, when I did, that in a suitcase full of snacks. When I did the show in Denver, they gave me so much mushrooms.

The dude gave me like one, do you know what penis envy mushrooms are? Sure, I heard. They're like, it was like one gigantic mushroom and it was like blue and shit and I just left it all in the green room and I was like, you guys can have it. I can't get on a plane with this.

And I'm also like, when do you think I'm eating this? I'm here for three days, every day we're doing a show. Wow, it work every day, yeah. And it's like, what do you think I'm gonna eat this like experimental fucking blue mushroom? I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go,

I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna And just get fucked. No, I never take the drugs. The comedy club staff does make out with a lot of the drugs that get given to, uh, to the comics. One hundred. Well, it's like, we soft stuff. Yeah. Yeah. That whatever you get.

I did get 2CB at a show once, which is this like, uh, I might have told you guys. Might have told us, yeah, 2CB. It show once which is this like I might have told you might have told us yeah To see be it's like that crazy designer drug, right? It's like pink and it's like it almost fluorescent pink I got that Miami. They really like it down there. I didn't even try. I remember you tell me about it Research chemical they call it is that what it is. Yeah. All right. Well, apparently it's like the sound of that Yeah, a research I'm not a drug addict. I'm a science My hypotenuse says I'm not a drug addict, I'm a scientist. Yeah dude.

My hypotenuse says I'm fucked, I do. I'm fucked, I do. I'm fucked, I'm the hypothesis. No, I'm fucked. I'm fucked, I'm the long end of a trying. Oh ha ha ha. Damn, Kippy, how the fuck you pulled that? The diagram's theorem.

Oh dude, holy shit. My hypotenuse. Oh. Oh man. All right. I do miss a, I do miss a lsnip. Oh. Oh, man. All right. I do miss a, I do miss a lanyard, which we've talked about before. Spinning a lanyard around your finger

with the jeans on it. He's all right. He's all right. Real jerk off vibe. Yeah, it was all right. It's pretty good. It's like chewing gum. Why was that?

He's spinning it. So you got some character. God, there's nothing better than a dumb guy trying to sound smart, huh? Yeah. I caught an e-snip. I potton is good. I would have never remembered hypotenuse ever until you said it.

And it like, It's like a bad Disney character. Ha ha ha. Everybody wrong, and here comes hypotenuse. He's on research chemicals. The only reason I remember that word is because I had a math teacher who was so clearly a stoner.

And he's like, you can remember hypotenuse by, I'm high and I've pot in use. I was a shunny. I got a rope. I got a rope. Get you a little wink. Yeah. I don't think you know.

If you guys need anything, maybe behind the cubicle. I hated all that shit. Math fucking suck. Yeah, it does suck, dude. The geometry algebra, algebra, like what the fuck is this guy talking about and you don't use it I get that you should it does show that you can learn and you can understand bigger concepts and stuff like I get that But it's like but then they changed it like 10 years ago the new math I don't fuck is that I see videos of it and I'm like I have no idea

I don't shit. I ever heard now. They're just like it's like man kids learn the basic shit like fucking taxes how to make money and like fucking balance a checkbook. Yeah go. Yeah that's it. Something. Those are what you know Gary V. High School. Yeah. Really should be.

I would have rather gone to that. That was a three thing. Making money. Making money. How to pay your taxes maybe like get bitches. That's an elective obviously. You don't have to take that one but it might become It might become useful. We had to take an accounting class and I was fucking lost Debit and credits and all this shit. No, you guys probably have a guy like a guy who just handles your money and shit

Who like fucking you're looking at him? And I failed a counting Mr. Hypot News over here. Ah. He's a little obtuse if you know what I mean. Oh. That's it on it. Talk about where we like to keep everything in house.

Oh, yeah. Dude, yeah, I was like, we're paying some of the taxes and some of not a lot of write-offs here. A lot of write-offs. All for business expenses. Yeah, not. I needed that water slide at my house. Take Killers man, the taxes are fucking awesome.

Oh man. I paid my first round to real taxes last year and I was like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, great. I want to go like, can I go back to a paycheck? I remember you used to get $1,500 back every year. It stinks at first, but then you're like, I don't go to worry about that. Yeah, that's what it was real. It's wild. Yeah.

Fucking brutal. All right, let's see. This one's from gravy boat captain. Shout out to you. You know your Habachi stats? I never met a shrimp I couldn't catch. Are you a Habachi guy? Never been to a Bachi.

Yeah, yeah, no, no. I think a Bachi is, I don't, I think we have maybe like one in Toronto or something like that. It's not big in Canada, so I've never ever been to a hubbatchy, but I would like to take on a hubbatchy Do you go for the whole experience? I want to see this stuff shoot out of the whatever the it's a fun time I couldn't do with other people. I don't it always turned me off. Yeah Yeah, the table's tough Yeah, because you're just there with like somebody celebrating a birthday someone

That's a ten unless you go with a crew. Yeah, and buy the whole table Yeah, you're like all eight of us are going Yeah, that's gotta be that's one of those jobs where I think like when I waited tables and I would go in half speed so many times I'm over fucked up whatever Haven't to do that shit and put on a show when you're cooking dinner. It's like fuck off dude And the volcano and I can see I'm going through the motions I'd be phoning it after the first week They do it and chefs are very much like we're in the kitchen

We're doing our own thing and she like the environment at kitchen usually toxic as well Yeah, rude nasty drug you sexual harassment out the wazoo like they're going nuts in there And then you got to be a human being in front of people know that I would do they should Someone's working at double. They should get you to that and the kids. Let's bring that out. Yeah. Someone's working at double. They're all amped up on meth. There's something like that. They're screaming at each other back there.

They're losing tickets. The waitresses bringing things back that they fucked up on. He's screaming at hard. Da, da, da, da, da. That's what you want. That's the show. There we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then you go to the kangaroo fights or whatever it is. The kangaroo fights. Ha, ha, ha. Holy shit. Three in counten's versus a mongoights are whatever it is. I can't think of Rufights. Oh, shit. Three accountants versus a Mangaussi. I like that. I never opted to catch the, I don't, I didn't like being, I feel like you're just, you're making you the butt of the joke. You're a fat kid, no.

It's like I'm not, I'm not fucking dancing for scrims. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Fucking put it on a plate and give me a fork cause I don't wanna do this job. Spin the egg, we ain't fuckin' hurry up. I eat like a grown man. I'm a grown man.

Well, never. I've mentioned that before, I went to my wife picked a steakhouse and ended up being salt-bay. Yeah. That dude, and they come out and he tried, I mean, he was trying to fuck my wife for sure. So he was dangling meat like on her lip. I was like, yeah, I'm gonna beat the shit out of you right now.

There's been a few videos of dudes, Salt Bay comes to do the thing. It's so, it's so erotic. It's insane. It's so crazy. And he started doing it to me. I'm like, I'm good. I'm not fucking.

I've told you guys this before, but there's some dessert place somewhere. I can't remember if it's in France or somewhere like that. I think it's in Europe And it's like a frozen banana place and they take the banana and they dip it in chocolate and they put all this stuff But the guy's like this good-looking Latin dude. Yeah, and he like like you know He'll like hold it and like put it in the girl's mouth. Yeah, and they're basically like blowing the thing Yeah, dude It's so funny. He gets up on the thing and he's like

I'm been in it. It's so funny. I'm like, yeah, give me the bin more bin and That image. Yeah, how's it? That'll get front row seats for that. Yeah, see this guy a hump produce into chick's faces. Love it That was a lot of comedy clubs. I used to do remember that what the blow job Where you working? I was my clothes. Where are you working to do remember that? What? The blow job. Yeah, I was like, what? Where are you working? How was my clothes? Where are you working and who books that? Get it, I get it, get it over there.

Yeah. The old Chikki works at the comedy club who like smokes cigarettes inside, she's like, it's a banana. It's a banana. I've done probably over a hundred blow job shots. Cause it was big at the laugh house. So you had to, and before the headliner came up, right?

You told them that they was right there. Who's birthday it was? And then after the feature, you do the announcements, this one's coming up, that one's coming up, and I heard we got a birthday in the ground. It's always me. They're talking this month, I'm like crazy. It's like a shot of Kaluah and Bailey's

and then they put whipped cream on it and they have to put their hands behind their back and get it off the stool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But that rules. It's a tasty shot, man. It's a good way to get drunk. Yeah, it's good. Yeah. I love a Bailey's. A Bailey's is a little. All right. Bailey's white Russian. I love out a white Russian, dude. I don't know if I've ever really had a white Russian. I love house key. Yeah. They go, man. It's like, you can't drink too many of them because you'll fucking shit your brains out. Sure.

But they're, they run. Yeah. We had the band-bailies in my house because my mom would crack the bottle and would not stop till it was gone. All right. Oh, oh, oh, oh, your mom's a good time, man. Yeah.

Anyone want a special coffee? A special coffee? A special coffee. Yeah. Mom is special coffee. Yeah. Mama's juice juice? Yeah. Shout out to her. I like it.

That's great. We were, I mean, in college, I remember there was this, this, a ball, a, a, a, a, a, a frat would do $5 for the, like, keg, whatever, you know, for cups. And then they had a little bar and they would sell shots. And I, I would need like a hundred beers because it was like, you know, super shitty light beer. I'm like, can I just stand in a corner fucking slug and beer so they would have shots feel a real awkward and we would do shots. And yeah, just out of pure social anxiety as well. Sure. Like a fat guy at a party.

Keep your hands in your pockets for so long. I know. Yeah. You can only go. You can only look for the bathroom and I'm gonna go smoke a sink so many times before you're not even at the party I was out from I'm out from outside. I'm fucking just I mash them back. Oh worse hang over your fucking It was like orange juice and something else. Yeah, you're gonna puke the rainbow afterwards Dude, yeah, do you want to get drunk on that? That's not your booze's choice I hated the shooter craze of the mid 2000 Yeah, yeah, the two girls going that an epic band? Yeah, yeah. Shooter girls going around, the little vials.

Oh, yes, yeah. And they put you putting your mouth and just fucking shoot your head back. They put it between their tits or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hope they're all CEOs, because they were salesmen. Because if you didn't buy, they made you feel like a fucking loser. Oh, dude, I knew this girl who worked as like a bottle girl.

And she said, the easiest sell of all time was to like dudes who have some girls. Like they're in, they buy the tables because they're trying to impress them. So you go in, they buy a bottle or whatever and then you come back after the bottle's done, you go like, oh you guys want another bottle and they're always like, no, no, no, no,

and you go ladies and they're like, yeah! Sold. Sold every fucking time, so. Respect the hustle. Yeah. You could be a bottle girl in the only 2000s, you had the clean. They were the hustle. Yeah, you could be a bottle girl in the only two thousands You had to clean your own Yeah, you got paid back and set crew harassment for sure. Yeah, that was definitely part of the job

Yeah, I didn't make it past the first interview He wore his best bra too I had one body fall in love with one of those shooter girls at Keynes in North Wildwood man. He was following her around that bar like a god damn bubble I think she likes me to really were like dude You you paid put her through college already and you offered her coke God damn it. Like servers bartenders, strippers, bottle girls, nurses, none of them like you. None of them like you.

No, no, no. That was never maybe. Don't say none of them. Don't take the home away from me. Man, I was down at a bar in my hometown recently and like just, there was like the hot ish girl, you know,'s probably like 31 at this point. She was probably been there for 10 years and she was always the hot bartender. She's a little older and just this gaggle of like around the around the corner of the

bar like seven dudes. Oh, like look at her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll do one more like all just loosely hitting on her. Yeah. Man, none of you stay into chance and you're all tipping her 200% probably.

Yeah, painter mortgage. Oh, yeah, dude. It's it's wild man Like I bartended and worth this bar for a little while and the girls that work there with these like hot French Canadian chicks tattoos All that kind of stuff and the guys that would come in and be like you want to come home with me like dudes and like they're 50s They're like old sag and I'm like, what did you what did you think was gonna happen here? This like hot. Dude, I'm fucking her. Yeah. But you think you're gonna, like you thought you were gonna pull, like she could fuck anybody.

I do think she's pulling out of this place. Yeah. But sometimes it happens. Love happens, magic happens. Sure. Sometimes two people, they meet each other and the store is lined up. Spoken like a real sucker. Yeah. I mean, dude, that's the next Disney movie. The store is line up. Spoken like a real sucker. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I mean, dude, that's the next Disney movie. Old dude goes to a bar hot chick there, and they fall in love, man. Just him picking up her kid from school. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Be my minute date. I'm not thinking, yo. Ooh.

But then also too, like that bartender's boyfriend would come in sometime. I've spent a lot of time at those neighborhood bars Yeah, and like that guy always suck. He always stunk. He was all up But then he was also a dirt bag, but just from like another town or whatever. Yeah, like there is a chance. He this guy is just this guy had another bar there, you know, but damn.

Yeah, it's nothing worse than the boy friend that waiting tables the boyfriend that hung out. Yeah, just wait. Yeah, just wait, just wait. I'm waiting for Sherry. Yeah, yeah. Never start chiming in. Oh, yeah. All right, let's see here. This one's from Bryce, $10 home of here.

When you lose his sock, do you just match it with the different sock or do it or throw it out? Ooh, I definitely hold on to it. Because. Oh yeah, hold on to it. It's a grace period. Yeah, and like the other sock socks probably gone, but I buy a lot of the same socks. I started doing this There's only another one will appear. Yes, I wore a lose another the same badge and you have that and I got no problem Mixing matching. I got no problem with that. I'll throw in a long guy in a short guy. I don't give a fuck holy shit

That's great. He doesn't care about fashion. I have trouble when one's thinner than the other really I can't feel like I'm wearing two different shoes. I feel like I'm walking sideways. I can't watch that wrap. Oh, I can't do thin socks anyway because my feet like sweat and they get like weird. I need a little thickness. Absor Absorption. But I'm all good fellow ankle socks. Oh good. I got them on right now. Yeah, and if something gets mixed in, it just, it's not worth it because it just fucking ruins it because you're missing one.

You don't know where this one is. It's a fucking nightmare. I got a weird batch of socks right now because I have a bunch of those good fellow guys. I like the ones you're picking up over there, but then I got a bunch from Canada as well. So I have these a bunch of kiddingy socks. Like thick wool socks. And sometimes I'm like, yo, I only got one of these woolies and one ankle guy.

We're going really? We'll call it, yeah, I'm in a rush. That's nuts. Winter socks back in the day, they were like, almost like that sweater material. They were like wool. Yeah, yeah, wool socks. Oh, so good. Oh fuck that. Oh, Jesus Christ. Highlight, I like that. It's like wool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whole socks. Oh, so good.

Oh, fuck that. Oh, my God. I like how big. Wearing bees on your feet. Fucking brutal. They get wet. That shit starts to itching. I hate that shit.

These are good. You hate the most common things. They're gonna scratch in at you. Oh, man. I like a good comfy sock built put on a thick sock And it goes into a big boot and then you put on your big coat and you go out in the cold and just stretch through I'll give you that couple shots of fireball to keep you warm. Yeah, all right now. We're talking about You lead but that is like that in there

I don't care what socks you are to know what you're doing shots Yeah, okay, let's see here. We got time for another two more here. This is from Alania, $5 never had one red. Do you cut the price tag off or do you just rip it off? Is ripping it off considered garbage? I rip, rip. I'm a rip or a bider.

Oh, sure. Get the teeth in there. Chop chop. Well, I've chipped the tooth on a 40 in high school and it's still, it's kind of like a little bit of an edge to it If I get the plastic thing right there, just slices right through it. Let's talk about this 40 though Are you opening with your teeth? No, I was drinking a 40 and my friend Biggie, Reston P's, bumped into me and it chipped my tooth Very unromantic. Give us a fatter guy bumped into me

Very unromantic. A fatter guy bumped into me. Big cement. You have a Swiss army tooth. And then, yeah. 240s, both teeth have a little smidge on it. I'm a big ripper. They have definitely caught on with that, that most people rip.

A lot of times they put it on its own thing. Sure. That's when they put it on a cloth loop. That's where they fuck you up. Yeah. Yeah, yeah But I feel like they make those things almost like break away now. Yeah, where it's just literally a little bit of pressure And they pop the cloth loop. I'll start just pulling at that thing thing Do it like dickheads are the sock people. Yeah, they have 19 of those in there. That's like get over You forget that thing is in there. I feel like it's in every one of them.

You're like, hell, he broke this in one place, house it in every sock. Yes. Finding it for fucking months. Putting the bag, will you? That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just throw all my shit in like one tub and I'll leave here like a human.

Yes, yes. I'm living off of good fellow socks right now at the moment, same thing. You fucking brand new pack and they're... you guys go for the good fellow shirts too. I do that. I do the undies. I don't like the way they wash. I do the undies in the socks. I don't like whether the T's wash. They, so they have, they have like the regular black ones are a certain type of material where if you wash them, they're wrinkly forever. Yes, that's what I'm,

but if there's other ones like gray and shit that have a different colored ones, I have, I have 20 of them. The colored one. I love their never wrinkle. But I'm all about good fellow shirts. Yes. Good brand man. Yeah, they have like the pockety or whatever. Yes, that's like a level bunch.

Target house brand, right? Yeah. Somebody said they used to be Massimo. Massimo, what's Massimo? Massimo used to be like a skater brand way back in the day. I could be wrong on that. T-bone, can you get eyes on that?

Good fellow Massimo? I will. It sounds like an anime studio. You don't remember Massimo? I'm surprised. Massimo was huge in the 90s, huge. If you had a, that, it was like a very stucy type thing. Wait, how do you spell it? Massimo?

There was like Vulcan and a couple other ones that were there. It was one of the, it was one of the, M-O, I got it. Massimo. M-O-S-S. Oh, I was one. I-E-O. I-M-O. I got it mo SS. Oh I EO I am oh I am oh Massimo yeah, I mean well Massimo still seems to be bangin in Australia There you go, alright. They found their market. I like it. I like it. I don't think it is because nothing comes up with

Massimo no there's the Ryan skateboards up I still they're all over the streets good fellows is the shit Yeah, dude It's just like you get I buy a pack of shirts. I'll get fucking 10 shirts at once or whatever and then be like there I'm good. I'm like 20 bucks, too Yeah, fuck it and the socks last man. They really do and they get better with age the underwear is great Underwear is great. They they just switched up to fat guy underwear where it used to be more Euro cut and now they good They go up real high.

Yeah. And they got the sandwich pockets. Yeah. Yeah. Natural bacon sense too. Yeah, you put it in there, stays warm. It stays warm for a long time. Yeah.

Keep egg bites in there. Yeah. Stesticles are huge. Yeah. All right, we got to wrap it up. Gang, we love you to death. Chateraena gonna be at the Wilbur Theater theater in Boston January 12th. Do yourself a favor. Few tickets left scoop them up He's one of the absolute best and he's gonna be over there in Vancouver, British Columbia at the Vogue theater February

24th my birthday. Go see the hometown kid Chaterina everybody Thank you having you pal. Yeah, man. Yeah, I didn't think I was gonna have a good hang. Anything else you wanna plug, socials, anything else? Website. Yeah, you can find it. All my socials, Chaturaina, CHED, D-U-R-E-N-A, check out the YouTube, we're posting all the standup stuff over there and then for all tour dates,

go to Chaturaina.com, we'll probably come to your city very soon. You're killing it, buddy. We're so happy for you. Yeah, man. You're the best. Thank you. Great hang, great comedian.

We love you. Hi, Don. Kippy, what do you got for him? Uh, we're taking a bit of a break of the row. We're planning the, uh, spring and summer tour. Right now we have a lot of the dates, uh, be posted soon, finalizing some stuff. The only thing that's on sale right now is main, main night at the drone. Town Hall theater, New York City. It's the biggest show we've ever done. Grab the squad and come out and see us in a nice, nice, classy style. Yes, and nice. The card game available at regarbers.com.

Do it. Gang we love you and we'll see you next week. Peace!