Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Chewin' Tin Foil w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: February 16, 2023

Are You Garbage is back with a Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ Helix Sleep: https://www.helixsleep.com/Garbage Pretty Litter: https://www.prettylitter.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Kent, let's talk about that state trashy tour, baby. We coming in full effect. Yeah, first leg of the tour has been announced. We've been all over the country, gang. It's a good, good time. Come out and see us. Yeah, gang, starting in March, we're going to be in Baltimore, Virginia Beach, Richmond,

Oklahoma City, Dallas, Houston, Austin. Then in April, baby, we're hitting New Haven, Connecticut, Burlington, Vermont. Then in May, we got Tampa, Dania Beach, Florida, Raleigh, North Carolina. Then in June, we're doing Cleveland and Columbus. Get those tickies. Let's party, gang.

See you there. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

Hey, yeah. It's a little show. We sit down to your favorite comedians, and we find that they're good to be classy. Just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're down here at Anthony's basement. She's upstairs filing some serial numbers

of some power tools. OK. I don't know what she's up to. Hi, Jinx and Sue, per use. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage, new starting quarterback at the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.

Congratulations. What's up? I'm about to take over these money in an FTX scam. What's up, everybody? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are Tritter Up, Cook and I would like to say a prayer.

A moment of silence for the greatest website of all time. Better than Google, better than Yahoo, better than Asjeeves. I'm talking www.patreon.com slash Are You Garbage, baby. You sign up over there, you put your little email in, you create a little password, you get access to over 100 episodes of AYG, over 100 episodes of Heart Feelings, which is a show where we really

let it all hang out. Yeah, we do. We have tons of footage on there. We have road shows. We got behind the scenes blogs, cribs of our houses, cribs tours of our house. It's got everything on it. Golf, the Dave and Busters.

It's a good time over there. The limo ride. We got it all, baby. Sam Yam and Jack Hunt, he's out there. Shout out to the two patron saints, baby. Shout out to the homies, shout out to the bozos. And how about a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the magic man.

Makes us all look good, works to ones and twos, crosses the T's, dots the I's. Give it up for T-Bone McScroffins. Toby McMullen, everybody. What up, dudes? T-Bone. I'm jammed up at the crib. I took a light out of my bathroom

and moved it into the living room, dude. Wait, a light bulb. A light bulb. They had a lamp in your bathroom. I was like, Jesus. What, he was spy? Who has that? A light bulb.

That's tough. If you got a lamp in your bathroom, it's red. It's a red light. Damn, dude. And you have mice as pets. Nothing worse than dim lighting in the bathroom. That's real shifty. That's bad.

You don't know what you're brushing. Who are you? That's not my hair. Kip, how the hell are you? I'm good, buddy, thanks. Thanks for asking, and thanks for having me on this wonderful program. Me, I'm good myself.

Thank you for asking. Sure. My nose is still sore, still jammed up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's healing, though. It's healing. It's good. We're putting that behind us.

Trying to put that behind us. That's foot forward. Yeah. Trying to keep my weird. Trying to keep your weird lesions to yourself. Pretty sure it's slowly working its way across the table, damn it. Jesus Christ.

Oh, man, how bad would you be? Welcome to our new segment, Are You a Leopard? If I gave you a ringworm or impantaga, how bad would you be? Don't even, I mean, dude, I left you the other day, and my nose was itch in the whole ride home. I was just like, man, this fucking guy gave me whatever he has, I know it.

Nose cooties. I got a bone to pick with that sleep apnea company. It's ridiculous. I didn't know that you had to have water in there. What? You don't have to have water in there. You can just wroth. I'm not sure you know what's going on with any of it,

to be honest with you. I mean, that's what it seems. That you don't know. No, it was from my mask. Sure. You would think you would read the manual for your life support system. Let's wing it.

I got these extra parts laying around. I've been using root beer. This is crazy. Anywho, that's neither here nor there. I apologize to the fans for my extra grossness this week. No, stop it. Thank you. Got the Valentine's Day coming up.

Valentine's Day is coming up, and me and you were in a weird first time situation, where we're going on separate vacations. Wait, that's weird. We don't go on vacations together. We're going on vacations at the same time. At the same time, two separate. That's never happened where we both have done that.

But that'd be weird if we both were going on vacation at the same place. I would ignore you for sure. I'd have to have my room changed. Can I change my table? It would be like forgetting age fully. Yeah, so this is my first kind of adult vacation, where I've realized that.

Where you going, hedonism? The ripping and the tearing. I've realized as I prepare for this, I was supposed to go a couple of weeks ago, but I had to shifter around, going to Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico! I'm not. My vacations have always been the shore.

Jersey shore. That's it. You take a bathing suit, maybe a pair of basketball shoes. You do a European romp, though. Yeah, I have. I've got weddings, family, shit like that. Yeah, but that's typically like we're in Frankfurt, you know, for sure.

This is the first time I'm doing it like as- Just chilling. Just going on a vacation. That's always like, hey, we have to go here for, oh, you know, her friend's wedding, her brother's wedding, you know, something, something. There's obligation. Yeah.

Which is not- I got obligation where I'm going. Not necessarily, not how I would, I didn't enjoy myself, but it's like, you had to be at a certain place at a certain time doing a certain thing. Sure. I got a little bit of that.

Obviously. You got fam out where you're going. I got fam, I got the wedding, all that kind of stuff. Yeah. You're also both going to places that feel foreign, but still use American currency. I know, that's what I'm not, I don't know the whole passport thing.

I'm bringing mine just in case. Just in case I get jammed up at the border. I pay my goddamn taxes. Get the border to the island. I'm bringing paper towels. Straighten myself out. Yeah, I realized, I was like, all right, cool, we booked it and then I was like,

oh, I don't have anything for a beach. You got no cabana wear. I got no cabana wear. You got no bathing, you don't have a bathing suit? I do, but it's like a shitty one that I- Last year's fashion? No, it's a shitty one. I bought it at a hotel to go into the hotel pool.

You want to- That I've never washed, that I think I put in a plastic bag and left in my suitcase for about two, three months and now it's got black mold on it. Are you trying to go like official Caribbean? You going to wear like a Guayavera and stuff like that? Guayavera.

Yeah. You better clean it up. The Cuban shirt. I don't think so. That's a little too much. Down there looking like Vin Diesel. I realized I don't have a nice bathing suit. I don't have flip flops.

You got flip flops? I don't do flip flops anymore. They make my ankles swell up. Flip flops is the most delusious shoe in the world. I don't know what it is, man. It's that fucking toe. We can get the bar ones. Like the slides as the kids call them.

New guy Luke, set you up with a nice pair of slides. They don't fit my feet right. It's weird. But they're Velcro. You set them exactly how you want them. I might get a new pair of crocs because the ones I have are prescription that I got from my dad.

I inherited them from my father. Wait, it is a state sale. You're wearing your dead dad's prescription crocs? Yeah. They're my comfy shoes. So I don't have spots. I wear them in here. Slide them off.

Or if I'm going to try on pants. Because it's a pain in the ass to get my shoes back on. Sure. I don't want to embarrass myself in a DXL. It's tough to do, I hear. In front of the other fatties. I have to flat line for a couple of minutes. Okay, but what's your gear?

Your day to day gear ain't great. So your beach wear can't be nice. I'm coming to the end of my gear cycle right now. I need to re-up on gear. Dude, you needed to re-up on gear about four years ago. And what you're supposed to do is you're supposed to wait a little longer and then make a move. Who says that?

It was the fourth quarter. You gotta wait till the first of the year. What? Gather up my. How's your beach, how's your cabana wear? Look, because I went out, I got two new bathing suits, Amazon basics, 11 bucks a clip. Nice.

I got black and dark gray so I can pee in them and no one knows. Sometimes the color fades on them and you get real jammed up. You walk out in their purple or something, yikes. These colors don't run. I can't get caffeine in the pool. I don't got jack shit, man. I gotta do all that stuff.

Yeah, I got plenty of socks and fresh underwear. That's all I got. That's, I mean, that's standard. You're an adult. I got on these. I'm gonna pick up. You gotta pick up, you gotta pick up. You're on for like two weeks.

I'm gonna do it. You gotta have two tree-paired trunks. You can't be the same guy wearing, putting on a wet bathing suit on it. I'm gonna do a little shopping when I get over there. Is they favor the big boys over there, anyhow? Trash of all trash moves. Shopping on vacation?

Shopping on, don't wear this stuff. Shopping on vacations, rich guy stuff. Oh, we're gonna go. I'm going straight from the airport to a Walmart. Yeah, you're not going to Cartier or whatever. That's not hitting the Gucci store. You're not calling them down and shutting down Versace. Now, I'm gonna hit a Walmart.

I'm gonna get a couple bathing suits. I gotta go to the big and tall store over there. I gotta get a nice Hawaiian for the wedding. Why don't you do that here? I mean, a Hawaiian, I'll give you, do that there, but like. Not at a wedding. A Hawaiian shirt at a wedding? It is Hawaii.

It's not, it's not Cleveland. I'll give it to him. That's the one time you do wear a Hawaiian. That's where you, that's where you flex. It's fucking, get a nice fucking Hawaiian with a nice pair of slacks and a nice pair of summer shoes. My dad's crocs. I'll get a little color before the wedding.

May pull a little jewelry on, get a, you know. Let me see my jewelry. Put the watch on, slick the hair back, trim up the beard a little bit. Sure, but don't go shopping for like normal clothes out there. That's a tough look. You're a little better than that. Come on. Am I?

You're not. I'm trying to get you better than that. I mean, dude, you can't go to Hawaii and hit a Walmart. Why not? That's for something you do here. Now, I'm sick of everything here. Like something different over there. It's a Walmart.

But it's more summery. It's summer over there. I don't want to buy summer clothes in the winter here when I could buy summer clothes in the summer there. Does that make sense? I think it's you just trying to get out of doing stuff as I think. Hey, there's an element of convenience.

Yeah. Okay. Plus I've hit the ceiling. Oh, but like, I would be. I've hit the ceiling on the sizes on my target pants. Sure. And I don't know what DXL, I gotta go to DXL tomorrow.

Get some gear. Yeah, do that. See what they got. I think it's a bad look if you roll up to all your in-laws. Hey, I gotta go buy underwear. I'll be right back. I didn't bring a luggage. We're in a robe.

Yeah, don't do that. Show up prepared to go. That's the adult thing. I'll have clothes on. You just said you had underwear and socks. I have a couple pairs of pants. I'll be all right. Yeah.

But bathing suits, I gotta get a nice bathing suit. You gotta get a couple. You're over there for a long time. You gotta look, you're a man of stature now. I'm gonna do a couple of nice button down Hawaiians. Okay. You know where to the beach? I don't know how much beach frolic and I'm gonna do.

Why? I don't know. Who goes to Hawaii doesn't wanna go on the beach. Man, you are a different kind of weird. I swear to God, I don't get you. If I get some color real quick, I'll let it hang out. Plus I'm over the belly now. What do you mean?

I'm over the belly bathing suit now. I go over the belly now. You tuck in. Tuck it in. Tuck the flaps in. Like a big dress shirt, that thing goes in. Lookin' like a hockey goalie. They connected to my socks.

Okay. All right. I need a 52 waist with a five inch inseam. Jesus. I gotta pick up some fresh Ghia Dolos shopping. Cool. Yeah. I'm gonna get it nice.

Okay. Good. You got anything romantic planned? It's gonna be Valentine's Day. No. I'll be on a plane so I get away with it. Pretend like I'm sleeping. I slept all through Valentine's Day, babe.

Sorry, I got drunk on IPA. See you on President's Day, honey. We'll actually be here for Valentine's Day. I got nothing planned, but the birds big on like, doesn't have to be something we got the day before or the day after. Sure. I think last year we did like a day or two before

because of my anniversary. Shit. What day is it? Yikes. My anniversary is next week. Really? It's before about, yeah. Congratulations.

Thank you. It's nice. What are you gonna get her? Buddy, I just realized it was our anniversary. That's man. You really just fall into like the stereotypical old guy as you get married. Let's see what free sponsor stuff we got here.

Liquid IV, she loves I hear. Is that you were dehydrated? What an all time jam of me just trying to pull on Kippy. You just remembered it and you try to get him to publicly admit what he's gonna get. Lock him down. Yeah, try to fucking Puerto Rico. How about that?

That's what I say. Yeah, I'm going to Puerto Rico for that. I heard you were getting her a diamond necklace. That's what I heard. No, that's not. You got the wrong newsletter. So you don't like jewelry and everything I pick out she returns.

I'm an idiot. I mean, a Mercedes Benz, that's a nice gift. It's a good thing she's not a fan of the program. Did your mom get you Valentine's Day stuff when you were a kid? No. No? My patio is dead.

The candies, maybe. But they were like to take into school and you would do like a, you know, you would fill out the little cards, like whatever, whatever. I had a little, I had a little setup when I would get home. Yeah. Yeah, she gave me the conversation.

Edible Tannies and shit. What are you talking? Well freak show. Eating a candy G string offer. What are you doing? Oh God. You brought it up. There wasn't sexual.

She didn't give me a dildo or nothing. I asked. Would have been nice. Ma, pretty please. You gotta save me a lot of time. Find out what's up. At what age are we talking here? I mean, I still get a card from her, a Valentine's Day card.

Maybe a scratcher in it. I got a Valentine's Day card. I got a, I got a St. Patty's Day card. Okay. You don't get any of that stuff? No. I come home from school. Nah, man.

Give me gets blackout drunk and laid. Yeah. I fuck chicks, dude. I'm eating sweet tart hearts. Yeah. Shout out to them, by the way. Love a good sweet tart heart. Yeah.

I mean, that stuff, you would get like Valentine's Day candy. And I guess if I was like young, it'd be like, you know, yeah, whatever. It would have more of a meat, but like, nah, as an adult, I don't get Valentine's Day cards from my mom. All right. Are you Toby?

What? Dude, no. Okay. My parents don't, don't send me mail through the US government for novelty holidays. Yeah. My mom just asked my address like a week ago. No shit.

And I've been living there for about a decade. I get all that stuff. Yeah. It's good. I don't get candy anymore. I used to find it on your own, it looks like. I don't think you're dry, bud. I don't ever see me as this.

Yeah, all right. I figured it out. Yeah, she used to always hook it up. All right. We used to always do that. What's used to? What age are we talking here? Like in the high school?

That's like, incessual. I would say maybe, if you're fucking and your mom's giving you Valentine's Day cards, that's weird. She's not sending me nudies or anything like that. I don't think it's that far away. It's just, you know, a couple of scratch offs, fucking some candy.

Like I said, the conversation hearts. Yeah. Sealed with a kiss. Sealed with a red lipstick. Card smells like a French whore. Little squirt her perfume. Rump some deodorant on it. Yeah, it's a little weird.

I would love to hear from the, I mean, maybe I'm wrong on this. I don't know. You know. I think it's nice. I mean, we're too for, I'm not, I always thought Valentine's Day was more for kids anyway.

Did you say times day? Valentine's. Okay. Valentine's Day. Okay. Valentine's Day. Maybe it is Valentine's. It's not.

I know, no, I know it's not. Maybe. I think I did say Valentine's Day when I was a kid. Cause it was Valentine's. Yeah. The time of the valent. Sure. I think we can all agree that of the candy based holidays,

Easter, Halloween, Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day. Absolutely. I disagree. You're wrong, man. You're wrong. You're dead fucking wrong. You ever had one of those dove hearts?

Those little bangers? Yeah, but that's like one thing. You got like that one. I haven't even begun. You got the conversation hearts. Chalk. They're decent, but you can only do a handful or two. Otherwise, I'll fucking dried out.

It's like taking Perk. Oh, shit for a weekend. You got the lollipops. You got the lollipops. They're hard shaped though. It's that you're stretching. It's the same flavor. What about those little cinnamon, Johns?

Those things will light you up. I mean, clear your sinuses. Yeah. It's like a Sudafed. It's the worst candy holiday. I mean, what are we talking about? You also have to realize when people talk to candy or food about you, you can't,

you're emotionally have your heels dug in and you don't, all right, but you know, it's like, because you love all candy and food. I think I have my research done is what it is. Sure, but it's flawed. That's what I'm saying. Valentine's Day candy is good. That's not what I'm saying.

This is what I'm saying. You inherently, somebody goes, hey, this is better than that. You take that that's bad. No one's saying it's bad. It's just not the best candy holiday. It goes Halloween, obviously. What the, what are we fucking assholes here?

Then Easter, correct. And then Valentine's Day. And then Valentine's Day. That's the statement. And then Christmas candy. Christmas candy. You get sugar on the brain and then. St. Patrick's Day candy.

What's St. Pat, root your barrels. What's St. Patrick's Day candy? A slap for my grandpa. What are you talking about? Newsflash, Jameson and candy. It isn't my family. They do have those. You ever actually eat one of those when you were a kid?

With a little occur in them or something? Woo, wee. Yeah. The first time I had Baileys was one of those. The first time I made out with my cousin. Sorry, Bill. I'm all jacked up on schnapps. Uh, yeah.

All right. Let's quit screwing around. I hope you have a good time, though. You too. Thank you. I appreciate it, man. I hope, you know, you hit as many Walmart's as possible.

Thank you. In the most beautiful place in the world and you go to a fucking Walmart. They got good super stores over there. It's all right. They're the same stores. Yeah, but there's palm trees. Man, spread out a little bit.

Different kind of dumb. Kent, what do you think about Helix, baby? Oh, slept in one last night, masturbated in one today. There you go, huh? Not only an endorser, the kid's also a goddamn client over there. There he is.

Gang, do yourself a favor. Get over there to Helix Sleep. Fill out the questionnaire. Do a little quiz there. Takes two tree minutes. Don't even start with me. I don't like it when I cut them off. Takes two tree minutes.

They find out what kind of sleeper you are. They match up. They got 14 different styles, including luxury. Sure. I and you broads out there have been nailed on a luxury mattress. I know I haven't. Do yourself a favor.

Pick one up. Yeah. It's fantastic. You'll be real busy this season. It's fantastic. As you know, I've settled for a long time to good folks over there. Helix were nice enough to send me and a bird of mattress.

We took the two minute sleep quiz. I got linked up with the sexy model. Can't wear a pair on these for me. No, I'm kidding. I got the twilight model. The personalized mattress straight to your door, free of charge, best night sleep of my life. Helix is offering up to 20% off all mattress orders

and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep.com. This is their best offer yet and it won't last long. Get on while the getting's good. With Helix, better sleep starts now. Do it. Do it.

Ken, let's talk about that pretty litter, baby. Uh-huh. I'll tell you what. When I brought that into the house. Yeah. The bird was going nuts. She's like, oh my God, pretty litter. It's all the buzz around town, they say.

I'm not in a cat world, but as a cat man yourself. Apparently, all the cat owners are raving about it. It's got this special stuff in it. When the cat goes on it, if there's something up, it can help detect it early. They sent me some. Turns out, I got herpes. Trying to get you from stuff shitting in the kitchen.

Yeah, right? No, but like urinary tract infection, stuff like that. Kidney issues. It turns a different color. So, you know, to get her down into that. Of course. And make sure the little angel's okay. Yeah.

So, if you got a cat out there. Normally, I would just throw her out at that point. Geez, all right. Pretty litter super light crystal base also minimizes mess and dust, plus the crystals last up to a month, which means less scooping and fewer trips than a garbage can.

There you go. Pretty litter ships free to your door in a small, lightweight bag. You never run out. If you don't have a container, kitty litter is taking up space and stinking up the place as well. Here we go.

Here's the turkey or the fucking catnip, as I call it. Pretty litter helps keep your cat healthy and odors down. You and your cat are going to love pretty litter as much as we do. Go to prettylitter.com slash garbage, save 20% on your first order. There you go. That's prettylitter.com slash garbage, save 20%.

Prettylitter.com slash garbage. Do it now, back to the show gang. Back to the show. Guys, it is a gosh darn family episode. As you know, when you sign up for the Patreon, we will answer your question on air. Which is the best way to do it. Patreon, the homies get the first crack at it.

All right, let's see. This one's from hold my balls. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ooh, that was all right. All right guys. Didn't even put space in between the words. Just hold my balls. $10 homie never had one red as a garbage

as an adult to buy something that cost over $10 with change. I once bought a case of beer with 145 dimes. Geez, dimes! They're tough to count because they get lost in your fingers. So they had a case? A case of beer, that would be $1450. 145 dimes would be $1450.

You get a case of beer for 14 bucks? 12 pack or 24 pack of like shitty cans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think back when I was banging, a 24 pack was probably of like real shit beer. 11 bucks, probably something like that. Yeah, 30 rack of PBR, $1399 up the door. Yeah, yeah, up the door.

You do the cold ones and if you go to the beer store, do you go to the fridge and get a cold one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They charge you a little more. They would always be like $1.50 more for like a 30 rack. But I'll tell you what, it's worth the smell in there. I'm going in there with my dad. I thought I was fucking doing cold plunges.

Yeah, yeah. It's all right, you've got a bathing suit on, a little sunburn, you're a little damp. I think I got stuck in one as an adult. The fucking, you know how they have the press release or whatever to get out? Your dad tried to lock you in and get away from you. No, I was buying my own beer, thank you very much.

And it just like got jammed and I didn't panic because there was a bunch of people in the store but I was like, and I was like old enough too. It was also one of those ones where I like, I think you could open the cooler door and I could like grab you, you know what I mean? Like you could like reach through. But I didn't panic.

I like kind of, I was like, it was a- Oh, what do you mean like the glass one? Yeah, like you can open the glass door in like a case slide. Hey, man, give me a hand here. I'm freaking out. I'm supposed to go to a party? They're going to be easy for me.

I got all the beer, I'm underage. Like the one in Bubba. How did you know the gentleman was underage? Well, he was crying in the cooler, asking for his mom's because he couldn't get his big head out of the door. Asking for his will be. And he's beer nuts on sale.

But I didn't panic because I remember it was like, it was one of those things where I was like, oh shit, I should panic. But then I was like, no, you're good. And then like, you know- No, panic. 10 seconds later, someone, or maybe like three seconds later.

You always panic. I didn't tell him it got jammed though. Hey, it's all the way in the back. Turn the lights out on him. Hey, is every man for himself in the cold room, pal. Man, hitting the lights on somebody as a kid, that was fucking- I never, that's not my cup of humor.

It's just a dick move, man. I'm taking a deuce and now all of a sudden it's in the, I'm in the dark, feeling around a public restroom. I'll fight you for that without wiping. The one thing we didn't do at the Foley house was messing around in the shower. Like if you were- I don't know, there's Valentine's Day so different.

Hahaha. Some of these rose petals in here. Hahaha. I'm getting- What do you mean mess around in the shower? Anything with the shot, cause you just slip and crack your head open. Cause I remember one time,

how we learned this lesson is my dad was in there taking a hot one and me and my brother thought it'd be funny if we snuck in and threw the cold water over there. Oh, what a guy you. He tuned up in my house. Dude, he came through that shower curtain like Coke Bear. Fucking looking for blood. Ah, dude, fucking ripped it right off,

fucking chasing this fucking- Yeah, that's a dick move. I never liked that. I never liked, I didn't play around with that and Bloody Mary'll get you if it's the wrong fucking- Nope. Yeah, if it's the wrong combo goes down. Get them on senior over there.

Get the fuck out of here. Did you have the safety grip mat in your shower? The one that- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck yeah. That bacteria trap? Seals all the black mold in? Yeah.

That and my semen was in there. Called it a kippy soup. We had that and then we moved from that to- We had more of like traction on, I think in like the 90s, it was like kind of like sand, like grip tape in the tub. That would scrape your ballsack

if you were taking a tubby. Dude. I was grinding off my little peach. I was like sliding on Astro Turf. That shit would have ripped a knee. Oh yeah, man. Fuck that shit. Yeah, yeah, we had those things.

You pull those things up after a little while and look at the bottom of that. I think when we had one of my dad, I think my stepmom implemented them and I think it was like you had to take it off every single time and like hang it over the bed, like hang it over the wall over there. Sure.

But I didn't like it. I had a friend in high school that when you showered at his house, they had like, they had just gotten their bathroom read done and you had to squeegee the inside of the- Europeans do that. Really? Yeah.

No, hold on. I think everybody does that. That's what squeegees are for in this. I'm just finding this out. Cause some hotels- You wait a couple months and spray a little Tylix. Some hotels we stay and have it. If you ever noticed, there's a squeegee.

You gotta clean your own fucking thing. No, but it's just for like the, I don't know what it's for. We had a, we had a glass shower at a apartment that I stayed out with my wife and we, she bought us, I'm like, who the fuck does that? That's like once every two munches, spray it with some fucking light salt.

100%. That's, you know, the scrubbing bubbles do the work for you. Yeah. So you don't have to- Yeah, you just have to fucking do it. And if you didn't, you got screamed that by his mom. I was in the shower at last!

Yeah. Fuck outta here. My mom be here in five minutes, bitch. And I didn't flush either. What that smoke? I remember growing up, my buddy had a big addition put on a house, big addition, contractor, cash, you know? Had a bathroom with a urinal in it.

And a steam room shower. That's pretty good. Yeah. Snap of tugging my little root in the air. Nice to have an addition. Yeah. What a spot. Wouldn't mind it.

Let's see here, this one's from Docket Burns. Is it garbage? If you pay for stuff out of the bank envelope from cashing your paycheck all week. That was a, Kippy did that for about eight years. I used to think that if you kept that, you would spend less money. Yeah.

But then you don't, cause you're not counting. You're just digging, pulling out dubs the whole time. What are your fingers like this to get in there? And getting that envelope fucking Friday, you couldn't tell me nothing. Dude, I used to whip around in my fucking Chevy loom that had the paint falling off with my envelope in my little center console.

Who's the bank affiliate, am I thinking of? Commerce. Now, commerce, citizens, it was a specific one. I can't remember that. I can't remember when I was a kid. Fidelity? Maybe. I feel like it was something like Portillies.

First union? No, it wasn't first union. I don't know. The Marco and Sons. The Bruno Brothers. I don't know. Yeah, man. That was big.

That's a real big dirtbag thing that, when I read that question, I was like, holy fuck, I did that all growing up. Core states, that was big back in the day. Core states bank. Yeah, dude, that was a savings account. Yeah, that might as well. Yeah, that might as well.

I not had access to it. I, without fail, every time, even into my 30s, I spent my paycheck that Friday night, that weekend. 100%. 100%. I've always said, Every time I worried about it, that every time you're going to save this,

you're going to start saving, you're going to do this. Five bucks a day. You're going to do that. You got it. And every time I would blow all of my fucking money on the weekend and then somehow, I would make it work at the end of the month, to a degree. Well, that was the thing I would always tell myself,

if you could spend the first week like you always lived the second week, I would spend all, if I got paid every two weeks, I'd spend all my money the first week, and then I'd have to live poor the second week. I was going, if I could live poor the first week, like I'd do the second week, I would have money to roll over into my next paycheck.

Man, that's real dirtbag mentality. But there was always the thing too of like- But nothing ever happened. I'm still here. I got through it. It never fucking- I mean, we got pretty lucky. Sure.

And we'd been a lot of debt right now. Sure. Couple of bailouts. Sure. You know, borrow a little cash off the brother. I mean, you're wearing your dead dad's crocs at the moment. It's not like we're killing it. And you are too big to fail.

And Steve Carell on the phone. But it's funny when you look at it like that. You know what I mean? You panic, you're worried about it. Like there were- You're very poor in debt with bad income drinking problems. That sounds about right. It's not, I mean, like on paper.

You're jammed. You're upside down in a pack of burnies. But I'll tell you what. Get done work on that Friday. Cash that check. You get that fucking bank envelope. I used to remember being like- Sky was the limit.

If I had- A Friday around five, six o'clock. You got your whole life in front of you. Can't tell me shit. The whole weekend. The whole pack of burnies doesn't even register into the- Fresh pack.

Just fucking take that off the top. That's for you. Fresh pack. Yeah. What you need is a good network of like-minded scumbags. Sure. Yeah, you gotta know a bartender somewhere. Something, yeah, you go there.

We'll buy five drinks, but we'll get 10 or whatever type thing. I had a buddy- A couple of free shots. I had a buddy, we were on opposite schedules. Every two weeks, he was on the one week, I was on the other. So that was like beers on him that weekend.

I got him the next weekend. So you were married. That's a two-in-come household right there. Floating health care. Oh, shit. It's all right. I remember we were back from college. Me and Pat were at your-

My mom wouldn't give me money because she knew we were just gonna go drink with it. Sure. So I'm like, hey, give us like fucking, I'm like, just give me like 50 bucks. Like, let us go fuck. She's like, there's, you know, beer here or whatever. And we're like, I don't even want to go fucking,

you know, have some pub wings, you know, and take a shot at some fucking bar fly, you know what I mean? Make a run at a deuce. Hey, Arnold. What? You know, Valentine's Day is coming up. I never heard of an E. So then we didn't have any money between us.

And then Pat's like, grandma called. I was like, ah, Pat, I missed you, but I left 50 bucks at the house for something like that. Thank you. He hung up the phone because you were like, grandma left me 50 bucks. Let's go to the bar. Like, let's fucking, I'll drive.

Let's do it. Good question. All right. This one's from Brandon. $20 board member over here. Let's go. Is it garbage use a gum wrapper as a fake grill like rappers do?

That's a good time. Did you ever do that as a kid, Teebo? Out of the eighth grade. Yeah. It hurt my teeth. Oh, you can feel it. It makes your teeth run cold. Yeah, no, I didn't like it.

Nothing gets me more than tin foil chewing on. I can feel it. Yeah. Catching a cavity. That'll hit a different fucking planet. Chewing on tin foil, man. You catch a fucking Hershey bar or something like that. You don't peel it all off.

Bite down on that. How quick are you eating Hershey bars, dude? Come on. I get after them. Hershey will. You ever eat a Hershey bar and realize you're halfway down to your elbow? You know what's pretty top shelf speaking of candy?

That Hershey almond bar. I love how you bring up candy. Speaking of, as you guys were just casually talking about candy. Talking about it before Halloween. Sure. Or Valentine's Day, which is good candy. I tell you now, it's fresh. What?

Halloween. It's only one day a year. It's got to be fresh. What? Halloween. Valentine's Day, holiday candy like that, you know it's fresh because they only when they. What do you think they're making it a day before, man?

I've worked at a candy company. That year. It's made that year. Yeah. That's fresh candy. Probably been getting all that by rats in the warehouse since three holidays ago. You're nuts.

Turn those pumpkins into hearts. So what do you think they don't sell it on January of the 15th? They do what? Throw it all out. Yeah, that's what they do. Like produce. You think they keep it? Like produce.

Think they keep it for the next year? Yeah, some discount company will buy that and hold it till the next year. Well, I only buy. Fresh candy. I only buy. It's not bread. I buy retail.

I'm not going to the docks. You're not going to the docks for me. You might. Who knows? Get a cargo. Cargo container. Can't bring it in. From Easter Island?

Just came in from Valentine's Day land. What was that question? Hit me. What was it? No, what was the one we just answered? Do, do, do, do, do. Wait, wait, wait. I want to get it.

I'm trying to play. I want to get it. I want to get it. It was the after the envelope. It was after the envelope. Oh, tin foil on the grill. There it is. We used to do what you.

That was an orange slice. I remembered. I just wanted to make sure you guys. I was an orange slice, man. Put stick down up there. Of course. That was good. You know what else was big about that?

Didn't play well with the ladies. The tin foil from gum. You could separate it. Remember like wintergreen or winterfresh? Yeah. Or like juicy fruit? That tin would come on the sticks. And it had the tin foil wax paper on the inside

and tin foil on the outside. You could separate that tin foil off the wax paper. I don't remember that. I'm telling you, you could. You could pull it apart and it had an adhesive on the back of the tin foil. It was a really light tin foil. Like kind of like gold-plated, like gold-crusted,

you know what I would say? Kind of. Gold leaf, it would be called. Really? Yeah, and you could put it on like a trapper keeper or like whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it would stick.

I mean, if it packs a gum, would you have to go through? A lot. I know. By wholesale, but that's a lot of gum. I do remember when gum was classy, when it did come in with the paper and they had the sleeve on it. It was a paper sleeve.

Yeah, then I think they realized. Yeah. Yesterday, we used to, you know, we got two different suppliers, two different manufacturers. Yeah, it's a waste of time. Cut out the middleman. But that was classy. They used to be a quarter.

Then they bumped them up to 35 cents. I remember that. That winter fresh. I remember complaining out of crowds as I yelled. I was like, what the fuck is this, lady? Hit me over the head. I only got a quarter on me. The girl also used to sell cigars because we were 14

and that was the law. I was like, all right, toots. I got five boxes of fucking black and mild. You're some kind of dirt bag if you're bitching about the price of winter fresh. What, you kidding me? Jesus. I needed it.

My mom was going to know how to smoke in black and milds at 14. Man. I remember one time. Wait, with the little. Yeah. We would smoke filly blondes, too. She'd let us sell us anything. She goes, that's the law.

I don't agree. You would just smoke them? Yeah. Like a cigar? Yeah. Big round of golf, huh? That's our close debate to you. Oh, dude.

Yeah, I remember the one time. I swear they got. How did they taste? Not good, man. We were 13, 14 years old. Because she wouldn't sell us burnies. So you couldn't always get your hands on burnies. Some adventurer's kids, we were looking to smoke something.

Couldn't get my hands on any sticky. I had to do something to take the edge off. And this place, Crazlers, it changed names about 50 times. But it was this old woman. And I was like, I'm just going to see if she'll buy me, if I'll be able to buy cigs. And she said, no, I can. I was like, oh, all right.

Pack of Marlboro mediums and a Wall Street Journal. This place didn't have the Wall Street Journal. They did have old Valentine's Day candy if you needed it. I'll shake her off with these romance novels. Yeah, I remember walking in and these lean cuisine meals. A packet of condoms. I can't have any more kids. This child support's killing me.

How much for this, Gump? Let's see. You got sour patch straws here. You got packet kents. You get the fuck out of here and lock your bike up next time. You whore. It's over between us. But she, I tried to buy cigs.

And I was like, pack of Marlboro reds or probably new ports at that time we were banging. Let me get a pack of new ports. And she goes, no, I can't sell them to you. I know you're not 18. I was like, all right. She goes, but are you 14? I go, of course I'm 14.

And she goes, I can sell you cigars. That's the law. That can't be the law. No, it was never the law. It was 18, we car, DID thing, the whole thing. For all tobacco products. All tobacco products. That's like civil war shit.

Yeah, I was like, can you make your mark? All right, you'll sign up for the draft. But I don't think she knew. I don't. I think she just had bad information. She must have been on crack, too. I don't know what their meth or something. I don't know what she was doing.

But so we went in. Look at their vetting process and crawlers. Everybody brought like hand bucks. It was me, Flip, Pat, Vinnie with the skin, the whole crew of us. And we all got like fucking two packs of cigars. Like cheap, like Philly Blunts or Dutchmasters. You're smoking them.

Just hang up. Swish your sweets. Oh, Swish your sweets were the little bangers. And the hail? Probably, half and half, you know, I don't know. We didn't know what we were doing. Trying to get lifted. And we, dude, we bought about 20 packs of fucking cigars.

And we all smoked like one or two. Who's having a baby? And then Flip called his mom. We're like, hey, can you come pick us up? And now we're like strapped to the gills with fucking cigars and all smell like the world's worst abstracted. Five kids got in her car that all had just smoked cigars.

And she was like, am I not supposed to say something? How long have you guys been involved in underground boxing? That's what I want to know. I still have one unlit in my mouth that's chilling on it. My grandfather chewed cigars. Yeah. Didn't smoke and chew them. The guy would get the nicotine.

But then I think that's how you like lose your jaw and stuff. I ain't doing that. No way. That's fucking Babe Ruth's shit. That's Bernie's for me, folks. You hear that, kids? This one's from our boy, Tanello, up there in Bean Town. And Mrs. T.

Shout out to the Tanello. Ta-da, Tanello's. Love yous. Is it garbage to pronounce Hulk Hogan as Hulk Hogan? Because I do that, I realize. Wait, say it. Is it garbage to pronounce Hulk Hogan as Hulk Hogan? Hulk Hogan.

Hulk Hogan. Like it's H-U-L Kogan. Like his last name's Kogan. Yeah, I'm a Hulk Hogan, man. A what? Hulk Hogan. Double K-H. Am I?

Hulk Hogan. Hulk Hogan. Hulk Hogan. It's Hulk. It's all, like hallway, Hulk Hogan. It's fucking Hulk Hogan. Oh, it is Kogan. Jesus.

And then here comes Hulk Hogan. The mighty duck from the Rafters. Leg drop, Hulk Hogan. It's Hulk Hogan. Man, I missed the Hulkster. That was really something else. Did something just happen with him? No.

He joined Scientology. I thought we. And then I just saw something that he heard as he can't. He lost feeling in his legs. Jeez. I don't know if that's related to Scientology. No, why would it be? Shout out to the Hulkster.

Hulk Hogan is doing well and is not paralyzed following back surgery. There you go. There you go. They nicked something in him. Is he a Scientologist? Get roots on that. I think he might be.

And Stone Cold Steve Austin now celebrates Kwanzaa. Is that true? Shout out to Stone Cold. Stone Cold would be a great guest, by the way. Love to have him. Dude, OK. If I could drink a beer, it was fucking Steve Austin. It's unconfirmed.

But Hulk Hogan was spotted with Tom Cruise. Tell me that's not the most fun hang of all time. Wow, that's a good time right there. I wouldn't want to be there. What? No, that's a lot of crazy. Two pillars of their industry? Industry?

Mr. Hogan? You mean Tom Cruise? Damn, the Hulkster and Tom Cruise? Oh, dude. Get them in a fucking movie. Oh, yeah. Top Gun 3. Let's go.

Woo. Just him fucking elbow and fucking mig fighters? No, he's a leg drop. True. He's a leg drop, man. Macho Man Randy Savage was the flying elbow. That's true. Mr. Hogan was a leg drop, man.

Shout out to it. Did you get caught up in the whole his daughter's phase? Oh, Brooke, I used to tug my little root to her reality TV show. What was it called, Meet the Hogan's? I don't Kevin Spank in an hour. That's what I remember. Stay out of my room.

Where's my lotion? You did, huh? Did I spank it to that? I don't know if I did that, but yeah, I mean, probably. That's right, because we have those 10-year differences. Who were your little pre-tween crushes like that? Brittany was huge. Sure.

She was the hottest of the hot, was Brittany. Can you say you ever pulled your little root to Brittany? Yeah. Publicly, yeah. A week ago. Dude, I used to recall. Do you remember the box? I've had to talk about this.

You did, yeah, the box. And you would request a video so you could tug your root to said video. Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah, so like, limp biscuit would be on, and then, you know, hippie baby one more time would slide in,

and kippy'd be fricking snug as a bug in a rug. Yeah, two minutes and 15 seconds. Oh, yeah. I could do it two or three times back then. So, yeah, her, then Christina Aguilera dropped. She was the edgier, that dirty video? I don't know. You were older.

That'd be creepy if you were watching that. Nah, I didn't get into it. I wasn't. Do you remember that dirty video? She shows her panties? Like, she's in a short skirt, and she drops down. Want to get dirty and kippy dead. I was probably only 25 or 26 when all that Brittany stuff

dropped, but I still looked at it as weird. Yeah. Because the high school Catholic uniform, and it didn't seem right. I was an Elizabeth Hurley fan. Shout out to it. Yeah, but that was her. That's when all that shit was hot, like that bubblegum

pop shit really blew up Beyonce when it was still Destiny's Child. Elizabeth Shannon. That shit was all big, Shakira, Shakira. Elizabeth Shannon, what's her name? Shannon Elizabeth. Oh, yeah, the American Pie Broad. Yeah.

I don't care who you were. She was eight. I got dads calling up, too. Yeah. Yikes. Peaking at that. Yeah. Well, that was a little fucking.

Not eight. Not someone call Adam or Eve something. Who's got a swisher on him? Take the edge off. Let me crack a window, huh? Let the air out a little bit. All right, let's see here. This one's from AOC.

Is it garbage or go to an Orioles game with your friend and his dad, and your friend ends up being the DD back home? In this case, you and your friend are 12 years old, and you live an hour from the ballpark. Wait, what, the DD? Designated driver. So a dad took his son and his son's friend to an Orioles game.

The dad gets shit-housed, and has to have a 12-year-old drive home. Holy fuck. That's wild. There's no way that's, I mean, that's. 12? That's early 90s. Oh, yeah, that's late 80s, early 90s.

And probably back then, if you got pulled over, you'd be like, officer, I'm too drunk to drive. And they would be like, ah, that's a good decision. A 12-year-old. Probably give him a ticket. He might have been Italian, so he could have a mustache. He thinks that dad's his kid. Hey, your son there, a little drink.

Sleeping in the back, huh? Damn, dude. I remember my buddy's dad one time had not a problem, but he would fall asleep driving. Jesus. That's such a problem? That's a problem. No, he wouldn't do it.

But it would be, he would get real tired when he was driving. So instead of. Still a problem. No, and so instead of falling asleep at the wheel, he would just randomly, if we were on like a two-hour drive, after like a half an hour, 45 minutes, if it was at night, he would pull over and just fucking sleep for like a half an hour.

That ain't safe. And we would just be sitting in the car. Fucking cars swinging by, shaking and stuff as a contractor. He would pull off and just park for like a half an hour. And we would just fucking sit there goofing around. That ain't safe. And I remember I went with him somewhere on a school night. I can't remember what it was.

But he did that. And I got home at like 11 o'clock. My mom was like, what the fuck? And I'm like, he pulled over and was sleeping. What the fuck was that? Probably on oxy, he's nodding off. I had a friend who, you know, used to dabble in the opiates. It was a huge epidemic.

I'm not celebrating the fact by any means. It was real shitty. He's got me. No. Well, yeah. But no, it wasn't. But my buddy would nod off. He'd be sitting at the bar with him, you know.

Hey, bud, let's meet up. Let's go get a drink. It's just you and him sitting at the bar. He's fucking snooze fast, like holding the yinger. And you'd be like, hey, man, yeah, you know, yeah, those eagles are doing pretty good. He would always hop back into a sentence to make it look like he wasn't sleeping.

He would be like, none of you are like, yeah. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. How's work going? If I can launch into a quest, are they asking you a question? You're not there anymore. Hey, no, get me. Son's coming up. How's your mom doing?

Oh, so you're saying work's bad, you know. Tough, tough, tough, tough. Drugs are bad, folks. They're awesome. Yeah. Listen to me. It's kippy approved. There you go.

Let's see here. This one's from Higgy Pop. Is it trashy to leave your cold leftovers from the night before on the dashboard of your car to have them warmed up by lunchtime in the hot summer months? I don't know if I hate this. I got to be honest with you. No, that's not the way you heat something up.

That's bacteria city. That's getting rotten. That's not getting warm. You got to bring, the thing with foodborne illnesses. FBI's? Yes. It's the temperature shift that needs to happen rapidly. It can't be a slow grind through the afternoon.

That makes sense, Dr. Foley. I have to concede the point. That's nasty. But nasty. Can't leave anything in your car. It's bad. What about your car? I mean, it's in there for three hours for your 9 to 12.

Yeah, it's no good. That's trash. Put it in the microwave, dude. Put it in the office microwave. You're going to sit there and tell me, and you could tell me. I'll tell you. If there was a slice of pizza. That I got, OK.

That you got the night before you take out of the fridge. I mean, you leave it out overnight sometimes, no? I do. Of course, I do too. But that's not a surging temperature situation in the hot summer months. That's not a surging temperature. I mean, it's getting up to a hundo in there.

That's just keeping them. It's like a heat lamp. I don't know. I don't know. I sometimes think that pizza should never be refrigerated. You should leave it in the box in the oven, which people do. So I'm saying, of course, it's not going to get to the point where it's kind of cooked or anything.

It's just going to be warmer than leaving it on a table. Does that make sense? I don't know. Imagine leaving it on a table in a hot room. It would depend what it is. If it's a tuna sandwich, that's bad. Or a sandwich, that's bad. You have a leftover, so it would be like kuh.

I mean, I don't think it's a good- Like a burrito? No, I don't know. I would assume, you know, what if it's like a vodka, or a penne vodka or something. Alcohol burn at all. Seared out. I don't think it's, listen, it ain't classy.

I don't know if I'm necessarily opposed to it, but it's probably not something you should be making a habit of, I would say. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's no good. All right, let's see here. This is from TreeGuy. More of an Am I Fancy question.

OK. I was just thinking about this the other day, too, this question exactly. Am I fancy for cutting up my apples and spreading peanut butter on them? It's a great all-time snack. I think you had me at fancy at the cutting up of the apple. I understand.

And listen, this is how I rock apples. Peanut butter or no peanut butter? I love peanut. I cut them. You do? It seems, and I was doing it the other day, and it seems so childish to me. But also, you also waste a lot.

No, I would argue you waste less. You get around that core? Well, if you have the apple cutter, did you guys have that thing? You go, hey, yeah, I know that. I didn't have one. What were the fucking Kennedys? Who has that thing?

Yeah, who had that? Oh, the McMullins rocked that heavy. Really? Really? Probably for Appleteenies. They just told you're dumb. They told you're dumbass. It was for your snacks.

Yeah. It's making Sangria later. I got a batch of Apple Sangria cooking. Hey, get out of my gimlet cutter. Come to think of it, I did eat a lot of garnishes again. Oh, man. Shout out to a plate of garnishes at an Irish ball of butter. Oh, yeah, they're all right, man.

Some of them little pearl onions. It seems childish, right? You should be cutting up food that's for children, right? You cut up an apple for a child because they can't eat the apple. And I'm doing it at 36 with a receding hairline. I'll tell you what, though. You ever have an apple with no skin on it? It's like a piece of candy.

Oh, I don't know if I could do it. They browned too quick for me. Uh-uh. They booed. I was skin off fucking. Oh, as a kid. Oh, yeah. If there was skin on that, I was throwing it at Denise,

for sure. He was getting a wonk back at her. But I'll do the peanut butter. I like the peanut butter. Apples and peanut butter is awesome. Yeah. Not to get so many thousands. You know what they have now?

It's wild. You know what they have now? Half of your daily, a lot of calories, what? They have it at patties around the fall. Is that Marie's? You know Marie's salad dressing? Sure. They do caramel apple dips in little cups.

OK. Sure. The only problem with that is, you get out of the apples pretty quick. And you're just using chips and pretzels. Yeah. And chips? That's Tostito's scoops, Kevin.

A couple of pretzel rods. Salty and sweet, dude. Oh, Jesus Christ. OK. I do think. I think that's very classy. I don't know. Any time you prepare a snack.

It's child. And you put peanut butter on it. I'll give you that. The preparedness of it does heighten it a little bit. Yeah. But that's for children, to get children to eat apples. You slice it up because they can't bite it. And then you put peanut butter on it

to get them to eat a piece of produce. That's necessarily not true, because you ever seen an old schooler sitting there with his pocketknife slicing up an apple, eating pieces of it? That's very different. Why is that different? Because you're using a pocketknife. That's a slice and bite.

Yeah. That's not prearranged slices. I don't like they eat the skin or whatever. You mean your dad did that and made it look so good. He sat there with a steak knife? My dad never did that. Oh. My dad would sit there like he was woodland wood,

just fucking slicing an apple. You know who you are? He's been slicing an apple, taking a bite. Guys who kill hobos? Yeah. Well, in this case, it was a hobo. He was in the throat slitter. That's a hobo who kills other hobos,

eats an apple like that. Are you talking about the guy from Dennis the Menace? Yeah, which is Christopher Lloyd. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, when he sits there, and he's cutting that apple, and he's got warts on him and stuff, and he's got this hair's all straggly, boom, man.

I was about seven, and that guy gave me the heebie-jeebies. And then he was making the beans. And the key to the handcuff fell in the beans under the burry. I remember when I went, man. I used to love beans. That guy was scarier more than fucking Bloody Mary. I used to love beans. You used to?

Baked beans? I haven't had them in years. I don't think I've ever even had baked beans. My cousin Kevin makes a fucking fresh batch. We're cousins? Really good. All right, let's see here. Let's crank out a couple tootre more here.

I don't think it's fancy. I don't think it's fancy. OK. I don't know. I say it is. It's a healthy, nutritious snack. It's loaded with protein. But you're missing the point.

It's not the snack. It's the fact that you're cutting up a thing that doesn't need to be cut up and putting something on it that is not. An apple is a nutritious snack. You're, like, childing it up. You could just bite a steak, but you cut it up. You don't say anything about that.

You could just eat a steak. You don't have to cut it up. No, but everybody eats an apple that way. They're cut up for children. While I'm on the side, I do cut my apple. You could make the argument that it can be a classy accompaniment for, like, a charcuterie board. A slice of an apple.

Slice up apple with nexus and some cured meats and such. Sure. Yeah, but I don't think it's classy. It's like jiffy peanut butter on it. That ain't classy. Delicious. I don't know. Yeah, because if that was the case, then orange slices would be.

And that's for, like, little kids at soccer games. Yeah. Man, everyone knows we got broken out. So fucking good. I should fucking Tupperware and fucking orange slizzies. Turn your lights out. I get that sugar rush going through you. This one, too.

This is this is these are a little deep. These are a little deeper than we typically sliced apples and peanut butter a little deeper than we typically do. Let's be on our pay. Be on our pay grade. This is from Dave Johnson, $10 shareholder for two years. Now, still haven't had a question read yet. My apologies.

Good sir. Are polyamorous relationships classy or trashy? The fuck is that? The stud spray paint? What'd you say? Polyamorous. Polyamorous. Multiple peoples.

More than two people. It was a polyamorous relationship. You're poly. Like you would be bisexual. Polyamorous is three people in a relationship. I think is that like how it is defined. A dude banging two chicks? Or two dudes in chicks.

No, no, no. It's never a dude banging two chicks. It's always a chick banging a bunch of dudes. Yeah, it's typically how it rolls. That is pretty adult, I think. Obviously it's very adult and there's no judgment on it. I would be execution. If it's clean and everybody's on understandable

and go, hey, this is how we rock, but I feel that could get real messy real quick. Very sophisticated. Polyamory is the practice of or desire for romantic relationships with more than one partner at the same time with informed consent. That's everybody. Of all partners involved.

No, it would be like you have, it's not you're hooking up with two chicks. It's you have two girlfriends. Relationships, they're all aware of each other. Of like, hey, it's Henry's night, it's Steve's night. Oh, I'm not that good looking. I can't pull that off. Sure, I don't, you know, I mean,

not with your nose in the current state, really. The dynamic of every polyamorous relationship is the same. It's one person going, I want to have an open relationship and the other person going, well, you think I can't fuck? Yeah, I don't, it's not my cup of tea. It's not my world. I don't know if I really know anybody.

I guess none of those people are slicing their apples. No. No. I just think it would be very, yeah, it seems it could be done very messily. But if everybody's on the same page and all makes sense, I guess it's fine. Yeah, I like that.

It seems very adult, very sophisticated. Yes, it can be like, it seems like you're in charge of your emotions a little bit, which I would feel I would, you know, What are we doing? It's 2023. I don't know, of course. I'm just breaking it like in the way I see it of like,

that would be very mature to me, which I tends to be less trashy. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like if something, it's like, hey, the three of us have figured this thing out and this is how we do it and it's okay. It's been working for a year.

I go, I don't know. They did a movie like that. It seems pretty pointy to me. They did an Oliver Stone movie. It seems like rich people. Who's the two dudes in Blake Lively. They got caught up in some kind of drug deal. Oh, right.

What was that? I don't know. They were hot though. Everybody, the dudes and her. They were in a beach house or something. Yeah. Blake Lively. They were both like X Navy SEALs or something like that.

They took on a drug lord. They did something. They were hot. Everybody involved in that was A-okay. I might have dug my roof to that too. It was the kid, there was a guy that played Gambit in X-Men. I don't know.

Hot, hot, hot. So you can get a name on that. Blake Lively, movie, drugs, sexies. Hot dudes. Yeah. They go out on a couch and I'm being like, what the fuck? And then the other dude like Savages.

Yeah. I think it was Savages. Yeah. Yeah. I literally searched Blake Lively, movie, drugs, sex. Yeah. There you go. The one dude looks like that Austin Butler.

So you can get a copy of that something else. Hatchy, munchy. That kid's gorgeous. Kid that played Elvis. I've had the opportunity to hook up with people in open relationships in the past and I've always steered clear of it. That's how you get killed, man.

Yeah. That's how you get killed. That's how you get shot. Some guy comes home from work. You said I said it's Tuesday. I said no Tuesdays. Thanks for your shot. No thank you.

I just don't like the idea of someone coming back and then another guy being like, how was the date? And then now my sexual prowess is getting reviewed by some barista on a couch. Yeah. I'm like, T-bones on circumcise, gross. Really? Some fucking beard, neck beard coder.

Oh, because you know they're talking about it. Exactly. That's the turn on though. Like it. Caught up in your little sex web. This one's from Ethan. Have you ever blown your nose into anything else other than a tissue or an napkin?

Like in the middle of night, you reach over, stuffed up and grab the nearest shirt from the floor. Apps are fucking loopy. Ain't nothing wrong with it. That happens from time to time. What are you gonna do? A towel, a sock. A sock?

A used sock? Yeah. That's what's on your nose, dude. That's athlete's nose. Let me pee on it, get over here. Yeah, socks are no good. Yeah, and I'll tell you this, in a hotel, if I'm on the road and I'm alone,

I'll fucking blow my nose right in that bed sheet. You're fucking gross, dude. If I'm jammed up, meaning I don't want to get out of bed. Yeah, jammed up, sure. Most of your behavior is stemmed from... Gluttony and laziness? I was gonna say... Peeing jammed up?

I was gonna say something a little harsher, I guess. Peeing a fat pig? No, I would have never seen that. All right, let's see, let's do one more here. We're gonna double up for Mr. Tonello, actually. All right. Is a car I was gonna learn to drive in a graveyard? My mom would teach us there

because there's no traffic and a lot of turns. It makes sense. It does, too. I get it, I never thought of that. I got taught in a parking lot. And on Kathcart Road, where I stormed out of the car, my dad was like, what the fuck? Got into a big fight and I started walking away.

My dad taught me for two seconds. God, I was a fucking dickhead. What? He should have beat the shit out of me. Screaming at people trying to help you. The age-old story. The age-old story didn't happen. I fucking got it!

God! Slam the door and start walking away. And when you alpharum, help. God, I remember looking back and looking through the back window and just seeing him sitting there in the passenger seat, like, what the fuck? Fucking Saturday afternoon, trying to show his fat-dumb kid out of drive.

Doesn't appreciate it. Sure. I love you, Pop. God damn it. Yeah. No, I got to break it green lights. Man, that one stings. Yeah.

I learned in the back of my dad's office, he had like a warehouse. You're going to say the backseat of the car. That wasn't driving, son. Yeah, that car was dick-shipped. He just was like. I'm talking about polyamorous. I remember being like, yeah, if you let off the brake,

it's going to go. Like, he said that through the window, and I was driving his Jeep Cherokee. OK. Like, I was in there, I started it. I was like 14, probably. And he was like, if you let go of the brake, you're going to start going.

That was my first time. I was like, oh, this thing's just going to move on its own. I see you rarely learn how to drive on a lawn mower. Yeah. That's your first foray. I mean, like, go-car. My brother had a go-car. You would drive that.

A car car. And I would just do loops in the back of his office while he was working. By the way, I wanted to point something out about Mr. Tonello there. He referred to it as a graveyard, and not a cemetery. Yeah. A graveyard.

It's a bunch of unmarked fucking graves. That's no, the graveyard is bad. A cemetery is not a cemetery. Fucking Pottersfield. It's peaceful. It's respectful. A graveyard is where the ghosts live. But we got to wrap her up, gang.

Oh, man. What a fun one. Gang, we love you to death. As you know, the tickets are on sale for the Stay Trashy tour. Yes, sir. Scoop them up. It's the first leg of the tour. We're going to be adding a bunch of more dates.

It's going to be a fun time. We're going to be rocking and rolling all the way through the year. We can't wait to see you guys. We love you, and we'll see you next week. Bye.