Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Chicken Holiday w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: August 29, 2022

Are You Garbage is back with a Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ Ladder Life: https://www.LadderLife.com/GARBAGE Get 50% off your first order of CBD at Feals: https://www.feals.com/Garbage Support the show by downloading the DraftKings Sportsbook App and using the code AYG. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA).   21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. New customer offer void in NH/OR/ONT-CA. $200 in Free bets: New customers only. Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 wager. $200 issued as eight (8) $25 free bets. Ends 9/19/22 @ 8pm. Early Win: 1 Early Win Token issued per eligible game. Opt in req. Token expires at start of eligible game. Min moneyline bet $1. Wagering limits apply. Wagers placed on both sides of moneyline will void bet. Ends 1/8/23 @ 8pm ET. See terms at sportsbook dot draftkings dot com slash football terms. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans

Hachi Machi middle-class famous tour update kippy. Uh-oh. We got a couple alerts going out straighten them out a little bit Kansas City Springfield St. Louis Nashville in the Philadelphia that show sold out already three months ahead of time We added a second show tickets are on sale right now Then we're going up to Providence Rhode Island. That's gonna sell out in Boston. There's low ticket alert So get those tickets now. We love to see you do it Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or Absolute trash

Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is our you garbage Hey, yeah, little show We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're good to be clay see yeah After just a big old piece of trash Now I'm your host a trolley coming at you on a beautiful day down here at Ian Toddy's basement. Mm-hmm. She's out Okay, sign up for a softball league. All right. Yeah, doing pretty good It's not there fresh air stretch the legs a little bit and some exercise

My co's is coming at you from across the table. This is a family episode man He is the CEO of our you garbage international businessman Prince of Park Avenue Always the king of the boardwalk as I said many times mr. Neptune 2005 give it up for him KJ Kevin J trying what up, yo, thanks for tuning in as always Please make sure you rate and you subscribe over there on itunes Full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are And then obviously I'd be remiss I'd be a jerk off of you an asshole It'd be a real big piece of trash, huh? If I didn't mention I know where this is going

WWW.patreon.com slash are you garbage folks you sign up over there you get a Bunch of content over there. I'm talking Bonus episodes of a YG you get episodes of hard feelings, which is completely different podcast where we really let it all Hang the fuck out. That's on the $10 level and listen The homies that are watching listening comment and tell those bozos how good that $10 level is because it's a fucking port Chicken sandwich by the way everybody keep it zipped also one of the gripping series over there Oh boy on his fat court, which I star in You star yes

So for yeah, okay. I start fat court. However, what turns out I'm getting a co-star indictments have been handed down Toby Toby's put Toby put on 30 internal affairs got a hold of love hand Throwing his fat ass up on the scale listen. What's going on pork chop? What are you doing? When you took your shirt off to go into the lake, I was like oh my god, I was looking in a mirror It's great. All right. Hold on. What are you doing at night? You're doing some emotional eating I can tell that yeah, isn't all eating emotional

What are you crazy me? It is sits down to fucking just eat a salad. What are you fucking nuts dude? What are you nibbling on? I won't save that for my fuck. I'll have my day in court I'm not gonna be out on the fucking front steps of the courthouse. I don't have my dirty laundry This will be a closed hearing by the way only on patreon. Just so you know when you lawyer up you're guilty Yeah, whatever. Hi, whatever. I am. Oh, I am for sure bringing a lawyer. That's what I'm doing 100% Um listen, I Have put on well here Toby hit me. I have I have put on weight obviously, you don't have to go in that close anymore, huh?

You get an extra wide shot pull back now to get a close-up on this pork chop Um, I do think it's insane that we are being classified as the same to Even in the world of overweightedness. It's crazy to me sure Yeah, but hey, listen when you make your living calling someone fat and then you put on a couple of pounds You gotta take the heat My bank account, thanks you Well, yeah, check out patreon. So that's gonna be uh, that's gonna be coming up. I have to see my day in court I have to get on an exercise program. I have to get started eating right and we're gonna have uh

if you're not familiar foley has to do monthly weigh ins where we weigh them and uh you get financial rewards for um If you lose your weight incentives, so I'm gonna be doing the same thing you get back on track over here I like to hear it. How about a nice quick shout out to our producer of shorty He doesn't need fat court got a tight little body on that get in a big old piece from the word around a campfire Give it up for t-bone McMuffin Toby McMullin everybody. What up dudes? What up dawg? Uh, you're not you're you're wrong. I'm fatter than I've ever been. I know you got a little pot belly

That's about it. You got you you have an old man pot belly. Yeah, you have real like especially when you took your shirt off at the Or like you you you look like a mechanic trying to figure out a carburetor He puts his hands on the back of his fucking his hands are like this his belly's out He's got a t-shirt tucked in his back pocket. You're like for his gump on a dock. Oh, it's a lot I look really good straight on It's when you see me in three dimensions it gets a little wonky It is when you do get your your your perspective everybody's perspective of themselves Obviously gets wonky because when you fucked up because you dude

The volume was at his biggest which was like 415 pounds and we would see a guy like like maybe 285 walking down the street and be like i'm not as fat as that guy am I i'm like what He's like four of that guy. I say it all the time. I go back to this one picture in high school Uh, it was the all-star football game in the spring of my senior year and you still think that's what you look like No, no, no, I thought I was fucking fat like so fat back then like I had fucking terrible self-esteem I still do. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, that's what mayonnaise is for Uh, but I feel like you put an extra syllable in mayonnaise doesn't mean

mayonnaise It's a real weird you put a little flair on it a little bit of rosemary in that stuff. I stretch it out so you know I love it Yeah, you turn it into an aioli real quick You find out it's something different that i'm getting that has more calories in it now. This is mayo a in aids Double the egg yolk. Yeah, um, but I thought I was fucking so fat back then Oh, of course And I look at it. I looked at it. Maybe like this

I looked at it like maybe 10 years after it was taken where I was still Probably no more than like 250. I see pictures. Holy shit. I see pictures of me and you from five six years ago You're smaller than I am now. It's crazy. You're probably like, yeah, 250 or something. It's crazy Yeah, it's crazy. It's Hollywood. That's what happens. It's a wacky world really. Yeah, it's bullshit. All this Patreon money goes to your head. No, it's not that's all those fucking pinup ads and fucking tom sellick and all them back in the day Trying to compare yourself with them. We don't don't look like joey from friends. Okay How you doing? What are you eating?

All right, let's get cooking gang. Okay. Sorry. I did have one thing I wanted to bring up Please go right ahead. I think I'm getting a water cooler for my house. Okay Okay, I was thinking about this today as well because listen I do bottle water out of the sink in the winter in the summer. Just don't cut it. It's not cold enough It's like drinking room temperature water. So we buy bottles of water a lot Like we'll just because we live right next to a deli if I'm leaving if I'm coming home Get a nice big bottle of cold pollen springs. That's my go-to. That's what the bird likes as well But I crushed them and especially in the winter

You're in the summer. I'm drinking like there's like thousands of fucking water bottles and I listen. I don't really care about the environment I'm not a big environment guy. What do you think that's going? That's what I'm stewed even if I'm throwing these bottles out I'm like, this is like 30 bottles of fucking every three days. It's going right in the fucking dolphin's asshole. It's no good I'd love to be that dolphin What's a guy gotta do? No, so I was thinking Get that get that delivered like whatever if it's weekly or monthly or whatever because now I got the nice ones You can get on amazon where the bottle doesn't show

The bottle's at the bottom So you don't have to do like the big flip over and dump it. You don't have to back it up and dump it Sure Will it be cold cold and hot you got the insta hot and the cold Okay, my wife's very anti this thing. Why because it looks like you're working to use car dealership Well, I think it's a tough look man You get those little plastic those little snow cone cups. I'm trying to close a guy on a fucking toyota over there in the corner Goddamn reports are due by five

I might have an answer for you because I was thinking about getting one in here too Oh, yeah, but I hate when I go somewhere as a guest on a podcast and they give you a cup of water That's it. I don't you like a bottle. I like a bottle. I just it's not it's cold It's crisp because like I guess if I could see it if it was there big oh help yourself to water That's one thing, but I don't know. I just want maybe we have bottles for the guest and I'll I'll just do the Okay, I think I have an answer for you with the with the with the with the house situation I've been thinking about this a lot too. Um, I know this sounds weird coming out of my mouth, but I don't think the like The reason I I want to get one of those things

Is I have one because you copy my now I was thinking about today glassman rick kind of got into my head about it The I don't think the water even in new york city is that great anymore? I don't think that we're really drinking the best water And I think the way that you could meet halfway with your lady is get one of those fucking filter johns I think they have where What do you mean where filter johns you can get one you can get a cut it's a it's a combination of of the water jug And it has a filter in it. It filters the water. So you just put in regular water No, I think I think it all comes together. I believe I'm you need you need a water filtration system is what I'm saying

Yeah, I was gonna say you should get the I have the the big brittle with the tap on it in the in the fridge. It's excellent We just we just got we just put the the cube whatever but then that's even Not the it comes out a little slow. I'll be I'm trying to fucking I get this thing cooking here It's I got you got to put the hole in it with the knife at the top like a fucking no Oh, you're using that. Uh-huh. What are you a fucking soccer team? What the fuck who uses that what you brought home yesterday? We're not doing that all the time. I didn't even know they still made those. Oh, yeah Oh, your micro plastic levels must be well. What are you talking about the brita? Like it's the same thing

It's the same concept, but a brita. No, yeah, but it's it's hard plastic. It's good. So you're drinking out of soft plastic there I'm not saying it's classy, but they're the same fucking product. No, it's much Also, how would it how do you that's insane? What do you think what do you think the field? Do you think he re-replaces the filter on that fucking brita? That's all you don't got to replace those things So it's the same fucking thing Both are trashy. I just got it. I got two backups. I'm going to be diligent about it. Good job I get well. I'm going to check in with you and what how long does one last two months I'm going to check back in with you and it's going to be empty

Growing up. That's about three to five years Dude, over the pandemic. I was I was that's a recommendation. I was staying down the shore with a brita and there wasn't even a filter in it We were just using you're just using as a pitcher. I know but in your head it tastes better. He has a cold It looks real crystal clear in those brita things. Um, no, I I want to start doing some kind of Filter because I'm drinking a lot more water these days, but then so my wife our friend in the building has uh Something similar you buy the glass bottle you buy big glass bottles like the five like the big But not a pulpit spring Pulpit spring is kind of I mean I'm drinking it now, but it's not good water. I don't think you're nuts. I'm a fucking

You think this is great water. I thought they got pinched a couple years ago using creek water Yeah, that's good stuff It's got the it's a living it's got living organisms in it. It's probiotics daddy I don't need to eat yogurt. Why don't you drink it is? Hey, wouldn't you like get a nice crayfish and a bottle of water, huh? I like algae I can see. All right, it's the enemy, you know um But so our friends in the building fill up a big you can go to like a I guess it's a filling station You're not doing that. That's what I said. That's fucking hippie. And I go. There's no way I'm going on paper

Sure, but we're lazy. I'm the guy who does it and then never replaces the brita filled I'm never gonna there's just gonna be four empty glass jugs in my I'm maybe stashing coins in there Yeah, that's that's like a few years ago when when fucking uh hipster started rolling around with those fucking jugs The growlers getting their beers filled up. Yeah loser Those things fucking sucked Yeah, fucking thing a honey brown ale. What's going on, dude? Those things you're not gonna do that I'm uh, yeah, that's why I you're not a co-op guy. No, I I'm I'm lazy

I want the water to come to me. That's what I want Deliver it every whatever it is every month every two weeks, whatever it is I'll start fucking stockpiling. I'll be a prepper, dude. I don't care. There you go You need a filtration situation. I don't know what that what do you keep saying that? What does that mean? I don't think you know what it means. We got to start filtering our water more It's better. Yeah, but if I get it delivered, that's a clean crisp water I don't think so. Toby. Can you give me a fact check on that as pulling spring good water? Well, it can be anybody aqua fresh leslie's pools, whatever

Wintergreen whatever you got, please not that You know, my brother does is pretty classy for like, uh Engagements and affairs They have a glass like something you would put like sangria in with uh, so I don't try cucumber water Real now get first of all cucumber stinks second of all in the water. It's worse Is it just it's a little cucumber First of all, who the fuck do you think you are unless I'm checking into a five star hotel kick fucking rocks with your cucumber water That's what that's what poor people think is classy. We got we got hot news on the pole and spring, dude

Let's they're currently under lawsuit for claims the best goddamn water in america No, that it's groundwater and not true spring water. They're goddamn lying to you. I don't care where it comes from I currently drink it out of a fucking out of the sink in my six-story new york city apartment I didn't good for you. No, that's what i'm saying. Those pipes are pre-war. Oh, they fought the nazi those pipes So i'm like, what the it's better. It's better. Listen, who knows what we're drinking Meanwhile, I'm not even counting but I probably drank about 87 beers last week Who am I to judge the quality of my water? You know what I mean? It is what it is

All right, but yeah, let's get one in here. Okay. Yeah Can we get a soda machine? That'd be pretty cool. What where are we gonna put it? I don't know over by toby. You're out Let's teach a soda machine how to edit. You know, it'll be nice in here as a vending machine That'd be pretty cool stock with vegetables. Whatever or pop tarts and every time I used to buy my bait out of a bait vending machine Blew my mind that those worms would stay fresh in there You put them in your trunk last week and they stayed fresh. Yeah. I mean, it's not a dog It's their worms. It's they don't they need to breathe that doesn't the heat kill them

He remembered that and right he threw them right in this trunk and then went to lunch Yeah, I mean, look at me then call the cops smash the windows and get them out of there There are a couple of crawlers, dude. They're in dirt Yeah, but then they the heat can't be good for them Well, where do you think they are in general they're not in the trunk of a fucking buick He's gonna stab them with a hook and drown them and feed them to fish The best case scenario is that thing gets eaten by what it thinks is a monster All right, that that thing should be sucking my dick. How well I'm drinking you can't give fish. I left the radio on

Zeppelin was playing you can't give fish dead worms. They won't bite them. They gotta they gotta be fresh I take lobsters you jiggle it. They don't know. What do you know about for you're not an angler? Okay Yeah, I mean also sure. I am an animal lover Yeah, a couple of pigs in your history. All right easy does I won't stand for this You're under indictment Whatever, let's get in we gotta get into it. This is a guy. This isn't goddamn hard feelings. This is a goddamn fucking What's the other show we do are you garbage?

That's right gang as you know when you sign on for the patreon there You could get a question read on the air right here on a family episode sometimes you do with just being kippy Sometimes you bring a friend back to the show. Uh-huh and have a little company. Yeah Um, all right, this one is just a home run of a name. This is patty's parliament patio. There you go Marble lights by the way, but if you're not familiar It's in the it's on the it's on the patreon in the the cribs video of your house. Yes Your mom cranks all of her heaters in the back sunroom type florida room, whatever you want to call that screened in burny hut

I mean, I walked in there. It was like burny. That's all right. It was like walking into a goddamn casino You leave my mother out of this shout out to patty shout out to her Is it garbage to stop at an in oh this is how how fucking is it garbage to stop at an indian casino on the way home from work So you can smoke a burny in the air conditioning on a hot summer day Holy shit, that means the ac isn't working in your car as well Damn, that's the the the deduction those parking lots are huge. I mean, that's like that's like a lot of effort That's like a 45 minute and you know, there's got to be more to that story I don't know. I do respect he's going he's going in there for a little

A little knock the edge off or something. Yeah, but I mean if you're there and you're of course A burny inside is all right. By the way, not a fan Couple I'm a couple. I'm like two months off the three months off the burnies. Maybe nice. I've been thinking about them Yeah, not really. I was we were ripping them last night Legion of skanks indoors. That was all right That's they're the ones you kind of miss where you're like The ones that you didn't get to have all the time Were the good like the indoor sigs the whatever sigs So when everybody's hanging out inside, I'm fucking, you know, I got 19 beers in me and everyone's cranking them inside

That's when you want to be like I helped the one they got real smoky in there towards the end Yeah, that was the key was like a card game. Yeah I couldn't see in front of you Ah, that was a good time. Um, yes, but that is uh, that is very trash. Kim. Let's talk about draft king sportsbook We were talking a big dog in a mountain Boys are in action already this year. We're in it. We're in it early. We're doing a little betting over there Going heavy with the nfl heavy with the birds. I heard toadie bet the house on a bird. So They better cover. It's fun, man. I never did it before. I'm in it now. We're doing it. It's it's fantastic

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You like having a clear head just melts away, baby few drops under the tongue. That's right feels got you takes carry Uh, you can feel the difference a minute's no hangover no addiction I've been a big cbd guy for a few years now found it It's true. We had love the little drops under the thing started out with feels be way before we even did this podcast I know they were sending it to me. I was doing it. It's fantastic It just takes that takes that edge off lowers the shoulders a little bit Loosen and a good night's sleep is important. Believe me. I know I know navigating the world of cbd can be complicated Feels makes the process as simple as possible with free cbd hotline to guide you through the process any questions you have

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F e a l s dot com slash garbage to become a member and get 50 off 50 Off automatically taking off your first order with free shipping feels dot com slash garbage do it now back to the show Stopping at a casino to smoke cigs. I got to know more information. How was he fucking does a four hour commute? I know because there's always like some sort of on ramp or off that's not just like pulling into a 7-11 and back in the Yes, I this is how lazy I am depending on how a parking lot is orient orientated. Is that the word? I won't stop there. No, I'll be like because then you got to turn back around. You got a loop in it's three left Nothing worse than a big parking lot when I was a kid. I felt like we parked fucking in the last spot every fucking grocery store Was like walking through the desert. How do you feel about this? I growing up a friend's dad used to do it all the time

He would park all the way in the back away from the other car So the other cars wouldn't like hit like, you know, that's wouldn't bump into him or whatever and he drove a jeep That's crazy. I remember being it wasn't even like a brand new jeep Like it was like my dad also had a jeep and it was a newer jeep. I remember being like What are we doing? He parked all the way in the bed. We pull up. He goes, oh, there's bob Bob's here because he was like the last that's crazy. That's a that's a flight or a flight or fight I think I don't even get out of here quick. Yeah, but then you gotta we gotta run a quarter mile to the car That don't make any fucking sense

Meanwhile, there's no coverage because there's no cars around you if you're taking Fight or flight you put it in the produce. I know you fucking pull it up. Leave it running out front, daddy Yeah, that's wild. I don't know. Yeah, I don't do that Oh, this one's from ip Oh, I'm an idiot It's ip freely Uh That's a classic, man. I feel like mo right now from the simpsons

Just getting got on all the phone all the phony phone call. I hated that. What did you call? prank phone call or crank phone calls. I think we said crank crank calls crank call. Yeah, we said crank. It's a crank call Hang up It's a crank call. Hang up terry. We'll talk about it on hard feelings, but I think I got one yesterday Really, uh-huh How do you do that in 2020? So he called my wife's phone. It was uh, what am I doing now called my wife's phone It was a new york number. So she answers and he's like, yeah, you're uh, i'm uber. I'm outside and i'm like

And she's like what she's looking at me like did you call an uber or something? I'm like, no, what? So he's like kind of yelling at her like he's like being he's like i'm outside. Well, come on right now like yeah Yeah, hurry up. I'm waiting here and she's like I didn't call the new like what are you talking about? So I get the phone. I go, hey, buddy, and he's like I like english didn't sound like his first language and english is my wife's first language I'm like, let me step in here and you know fucking really fuck this So i'm like, hey man, we didn't nobody I'm like, I know he goes i'm here 516 East meadow street. What give you the your address? No, if you would have gave my address

I would have fucking I would have dead bolted the door. I'll be right down So he goes he what are you doing answering numbers? You don't know she died. She thought it was a doctor or something Yeah, you know, um And uh, it's a new york. It's a local not even local number. They're smart now. They got they're doing local numbers now I'm saying if I get a local number i'll answer for the most part a new york city number Now those you gotta watch those 917 numbers, but no one's getting no they're all pumping dump scams That's fine. I first of all, I don't answer any call but a nine a new york number. I'm more likely to answer okay

No, I got no bad history here if so much from philly's calling me I can throw my phone in the river What if I get hit up from a 267 number? I remember we were driving you down. I got a call from bedford new york Yeah, I almost drove off a bridge. I hung up for you. I said no, thank you. Hey, we're not taking calls right now Hey, listen, I speak for the big man Yikes, so I go hey man And now he's like yelling. He's getting assertive. He's like i'm fucking here. I need my money You better you better come I drove all the way out here like, you know, I guess he drove

So I don't know what happened so I'm like hey man. Listen, I understand But you got the wrong he's like he reads the number I'm like that is the number, but I'm not we didn't call an uber and that's not hard dress because well, where do you live? I got not fucking I'll come pick you up. Thank you somewhere for my dead body. You fucking idiot He's we're going back and forth. I go he goes. I'm gonna fucking go knock on the door I go all right man. Go knock on the door. So then like Hey, you hear him like walk up to the house and you hear him like not I'm like this might be a fucking phony phone call

He might be getting me. That's pretty good. Yeah I told him go fuck himself on a couple of timberlake tickets after all that Justin timberlake tickets radio prank call. Oh, you think it could have been a radio call. Maybe okay Those are all fake anyway. Are they yeah, we used to have a friend that would call in and do them It was like a gig for comedians like we'll give you 50 bucks They do it How to be the receiver. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah to like play along. I'll fucking kill you my wife cheated on me Whatever it is. They still make with the tickets

I don't know That's just in timberlake was never even coming to town the whole things are Not even torrent Um, but yeah crank call. What did you say prank call? Crank call print phony phone calls is wack That's morning dj cheese. Yeah phony phone call. Yeah coming up Next hour you gotta vote evoke all over. Yeah. Yeah, none of that shit um

All right, this one's from omar the halal falafel farmer as a shout out to oh As a $20 shareholder. I demand satisfaction. Is it garbage to have a movie cartoon or comic book character on your credit or debit card? Yeah Yeah, I would argue anything on there is relatively trashy the custom credit nobody really doesn't anymore They're trash. I think people probably do the more you think It's easier. It's cheaper. The picture was always weird, too At the knees in the corner Dude, it was like a 1980s headshot. She got done at sears. I remember even being like six being like lady

I've never seen this before You can't make a down payment with a bart simpson visa. Yeah, you're definitely splitting between multiple cards. Yeah You're saying you put 10 on goofy and 20 on bugs bunny. Well, yeah, baltimore ravens mastercard a sports credit card is the fucking You're better off having a fucking neck tattoo of the flyers logo paying your wife's hospital bills with that Put that on tweety bird Yeah, you're definitely overdrawn more than not if you have a sports themed credit card Sure custom checks are also whack. Not that anybody really uses checks anymore, but that's pretty well

I don't even have checks I haven't had checks and you have checks. Oh, yeah Well, he'll you write checks too landlord my landlord now. It's all online. Which is sick. Yeah, I'm autopay I did too. I feel like such a badass. I know it feels pretty cool. I did have to rent on autopay I did have to stop it two months ago, but Easy does it. I'm back on though. Nice Axes are some of a bitch um

but uh Papua is he just saying my my mom had the picture I Any of that shit, but they're doing now I see on like instagram you can send your card into this company and they take it and make a Custom like metal card. It's supposed to be like cool. You know what I mean? Everyone's just trying to leave a black card Yeah, but you don't nope We're getting close though. No, we're not we're not do a black card. Yeah, black them platinum's that far away Yeah, but we are on the very very very bottom end of platinum. We're in the g-league of platinum

They gave it to us just by you know contract some sort of contractual obligation That's what you want with the prank phone call. Yeah, they don't uh We're we're we're with american express kind of like, you know, we're like a subsidy. We're the you know We don't have the main guys handling art. No, no, no. We got a couple of juniors on the account couple of junior men 350 000 to 500 000 across all their american express express accounts in a calendar year to qualify for a black card How much half a mil 350 to half a mil. Yeah They get to spend. Yeah Everyone's fine first class from here

You get a house you get a house Um, no, that's crazy. We're not doing that. Okay. What does it get you? Hold on What are the benefits of that? There's like a concierge service. We're like if you're like, hey I'm on that but you know, I'm on the back end of a fucking coke bender and I you know I need to I need a I need a location of a good rubbing tug They'll they'll hook you up. There's like some sort of concierge. I think that's 247 contrair service is a black card holder You can take advantage of the centurions concierge service as I was pretty fucking sick. Yeah things. I can't spell all right

They help make travel arrangements purchase gifts secure reservations at exclusive restaurants get tickets to nearly any event They was pretty sick, dude. Yeah, not for free though, right? No, it cost half a million dollars. Yeah No, but I mean will they get you the tickets for free? No, you probably have to pay for it. Okay Was that crazy Yes, I don't know. Yeah, I mean you're rich not just you know, I get my own tickets No, you can't you mean you're telling me if there's something sold out Yeah, they have like they have like so like like take Hamilton for instance at every Hamilton show there's That fucking thing

I mean, I'm not asking you to go fine. Um, there's like reserved American Express tickets Okay, we're like they get first crack at them or something like that. I don't know. Oh, this I gone, man I don't like using all that stuff I don't like I don't like I don't like getting in bed with people Does that make sense? I feel like if I use something from them, I'm gonna owe them something in the future. Yeah, half a million He just told you and you're gonna talk to the centurions The centurion candidates. I wake up. I'm an American Express card Good question. I use them Alexander

Do you scour the aisles after a baseball games for any lost valuables? Jesus that's worse than a metal detector on the beach Goddamn it crazy, but as a kid when you would go I would go to like my brother's like or like a friend's whatever It's like basketball game or something Not even a pro game. What no You're cruising the little league betches That's what you said. You didn't let me finish the story Getting under a set of bleachers as a kid. Oh come on. You might as well have been in Narnia, dude That was a fucking good

100% if there were like the big wooden ones that would pull out from the wall Remember how dangerous those things were kids would climb all the way to the top They'd be like 35 feet in the air in a gym. Yeah with no way down somebody just slam those shut Yeah, and the gym was awesome outside was awesome, too Yeah metal ones when you go, you know, if it was nighttime get under there That's where the hanky-panky goes on Little finger popping in there you talking on your route Yep, that's like from an old movie I feel for everybody made out of the bleachers. Thank you. Thank you. It's just fully eaten flapjacks

We're here, please In fact, you're eating fucking pancakes over there Is there a girl back here with you boy? Oh, sorry. This is back to I beef really is it garbage to say this is a different type of money when you drive through a rich neighborhood That's my that's definitely something. Oh, yeah, it's a different kind of money in here boys That's a real trash My dad would always downplay it like they Anybody can get that I just choose to live in a split level. I guarantee you they miss one paycheck. They're moving out of that house

Pay that right now justify it. Yeah. Yeah. Mortgage is probably through the roof Yeah, I remember one time pulling up with my my stepdad or something my body's house huge sprawling, you know So like crazy estate and my stepdad's like this don't they they did had to say they were like both construction workers Like this don't make no fucking sense. He goes. What's this guy rob banks or something? That's good good stuff. Um, wait, hold on back to the bleacher thing You want to go under no as a kid? uh-huh At like a fillies game

I would I would take a lap or two to see if I could find the little Commemorative stuff. Yeah the helmets the little helmets or a cop or some rich kid didn't take his fucking sunday helmet home with them Collect those things. Maybe a little chocolate syrup a pot. Oh, yeah, it's a little soft. You're whistle. Yeah Uh Yeah Yeah, I get that but we were also never big on getting there to get Like the bobblehead or what? You know the first 5000 people get A t-shirt or whatever we were like

That's yeah, no, we just never fucking did that. We've talked about it many times in this broadcast. There's only one Giveaway Not even a giveaway one promotional move that'll get the folies out to any sporting event And that dollar diesels dollar dog night. Yeah, shout out to him God damn it. Those things are good In the fucking little tinfoil thing with the bun everything's moist and get together. I'd kill for a hot dog You can have a hot dog just no bun. No, it's the point. That's the whole point the bun Okay, a little musty. Oh, I did have a hot dog. All right made a hot dog camping

Sure. Yeah, it was good times All right It's been a hot dog minute Speaking again, this is from tj ten dollar home. I never had a Q red is a garbage to reuse bacon fat for cooking Bacon to give it that extra bacon flavor. Whoa That's I didn't think of that Also, I don't think you need fat for bacon. No, you just put it on a clean dry pan That doesn't give you because it produces so much fucking fat

Um I thought when I first read it, I thought he meant to like cook eggs, which we did camping Yeah, which is a nice very old school thing. Yeah Same pan the food freak could probably weigh in on this but cooking using bacon grease as cooking oil I think is I think is the thing And I know that if you cook something in its own fat That's that's referred to as coffee Like you cook you cook it in its own fat. Okay. I could be wrong

But I think that's what it is But I would use bacon grease for eggs But from the bacon you just made you're not like putting in a can I don't know my my my buddy Rodney's mom had it in a can and she used that as her cooking oil We I think my mom puts it in a can in the freezer and then disposes of that Now they've had it in a garage freezer. They added in a can on the stove And I believe she would just take a little spoonful of like lard. Yeah Yeah, like crisco or whatever that is

Oh, we're a big crisco. Oh, my mom's my mom so my mom makes the cutties. I always said I was like Vaseline or something I don't know what it was. I don't know I thought it was ice cream for most of my young life I can't I have that special ice cream and why doesn't it need to be in the freezer? The cover looks really advertised that cherry Pie with the cherry pie. It's a bright blue. Yeah Yeah, the only time I remember using it like I remember she was like crisco down pans or something for like baking maybe And then also too, that's what we that's what we put in the fried daddy. Yeah, I think it's just oil

Yeah, it's just like hardened. Oh, it's like fat. I would presume But cooking bacon in bacon fat seems pretty fucking redundant. Yeah But to each his own Uh, this one's from adam Haven't had one right yet. Is it garbage to get a check for your birthday? Gift where the giver says wait until the end of the month to cash it and even when you do the check still bounces Oh my god, that's a bad grandma right there. Jesus. That's I hated the fucking getting the check as a kid It's like I want cash money. It seems like such a chore

Greenbacks, let's fucking go. It might as well give me a fucking savings bond I'm like, I'm not going to see the benefit of this for fucking weeks. This is the nine business This is the nineties. I know three days as a kid. That was fucking get 10 bucks or 20 year sentence. Yeah I would I remember at some point my mom I started signing. I'm over to my mom. Sure and she would Oh, she'd break you off. Break me off with the cash. Yeah, my patty would still make me wait And charge me an extra shipping and handling fee Got wet her patty check cash. He was three percent of fucking 30 I would do what's up the glass wall in front of me. She's like do you have an account here yet?

That's a five dollar account me Two forms ID. Well, you know me Okay, where's my birth certificate mom? There was nothing like that that shit's gone south But if you went to a bank where they knew you remember that well, if you go in and they know you you don't need ID Yeah, I remember that back in the day or they'd cash it for you If you didn't have an account there they would they might cash it for you if they know you Uh-huh, man, we go in there like hey, there she is. Yeah Debbie it's Pam. How's the kid what?

Yeah, yeah, uh I fucking hate it. I also too like say I did get a check From an ant or something for 50 or whatever it was if you give a check It's got to be over a hundred dollars or a hundred a hundred to check. Sure. Whatever say there's a hundred dollars. Everything else has got to be LD narrow Uh-huh cash money. I remember I got married. We got probably mostly maybe half checks. Really? Yeah, not from your friends I don't know. I genuinely don't remember to be honest with you. There was a handful of I don't remember there's a handful of checks Uh, no not from like fucking pat wasn't cutting me a checked, but phil X probably did

It's a smart guy. He's gotta have a paper trail. You know what I mean? I'm paying paying fucking tax on that He takes taxes out of that He whistled before me Yeah, I know you're not gonna fucking save this 985 dollars and 38 cents. Can't let's talk about ladder Oh, love that ladder. Let's talk about ladder. Let's talk about not leaving The family in a lurch. Don't screw the family. All right. Don't you've ruined enough holidays You've borrowed enough money. You've you've broken up enough marriages Don't screw on one last time on your way out. Do yourself a favor go over to ladder get yourself some term life

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It is now here is the turkey pull out that little phone of yours a little laptop pick up the phone Go to ladder life comm slash garbage today to see if you're instantly approved. That's ladder L-a-d-b-e-r life comm slash garbage ladder life comm slash garbage doing a back to that show back to the show I remember getting the checks and I mean Tall I we were I was in a financial position to hemmed as hemmed as you could be I just had a flood pants on I was hemmed up And like running the and I needed that three to five plus. These are a couple different banking institutions It's not like I'm taking some chase checks and fucking TD banks

A couple of fucking citizens a couple of fucking whatever's while covia all First first credit union. I never trusted them at all How to dump them into a fucking TD bank account? So I was I remember being and I was a lot of plate spinning on how quick things were going to clear to pay the rent to pay the What I remember the next morning rushing to the fucking bank to get those beds to get those suckers in It was like a run keep keep fucking the plate spinning one more day You're outside of the reception selling chili's gift cards for 50 cents on the dollar

Yeah, it's a bald kid over that in front of a covia giving 50 cents on the dollar Got out there. It's a wonderful life That's where you get it from, right? No, it's just with dirt bags. Yeah. Okay. You never had somebody who had like a food stamp card or something I'll give you 50 cents on the dollar I remember we had games up very early and games up obviously notorious for their, you know, shitty buyback whatever policy um

This kid traded in something or something and it was my buddy and he was like, I'm just going to stand out front He had like a he had like 200 dollars in store credit or something And we were like 11 like we weren't like I was like we could hop in our own car and like go and be like, oh, I'm going to do this like we were children And he was like, I'm just going to hang out front and just you know, when people walk in like, hey, what are you buying? Give me the cash. I'll put it on my store credit And I remember you like you're going to get arrested really fucking quick trying to pull this scam. Is that illegal though? No, but it's just weird for an 11 year old

To be standing there being like, you know, doing a fucking three card Monty with you forward forward thinking would you how? All right, you're walking in as an adult There's a game stop. Just yeah I mean, you're obsessed with star wars. Don't act like you, you know, you're into like fucking the smp 500 over here Fair enough. Okay To a game stop to buy what more toys So I'm wearing a flash t-shirt. I got a slurpee in my hand. I'm walking into a game stop Okay

And the guy or anywhere a best buy and there's a kid out front any kid. I'm not that's what I'm saying The only thing with the kid I'll do is grifter is give him money What I would just get like that's even weirder. I feel now Like when the kids come up with the candy, that's different. Here you go. Get get here's five bucks. Go ahead I would never do business with a child. That's what I'm saying. That's insane. It seems grifty I don't trust you. Where'd you get that receipt? I don't fucking know you where your parents at Somebody should be telling you you should have been doing Yeah, you can't be exchanging goods and services with a minor. No

No, you give him a twig I can't get out of here without you would give a kid outside of a best buy 20 bucks I'm gonna say hey get out of here five. But if he was hey, if the fact he had some sob story and someone was filming Have a good guy as soon as the cameras are gonna give me a little shit Give me that final fantasy too pussy. Hold on. Let's do it again. Let's do one more take. Let's do one more take Really sell it this time kid Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I would that just I steer clear. I'd be like I don't I'm not getting in bed Because you have I feel like you haven't made a lot of definitely can't do that You haven't made a lot of good decisions that you're 11 year old here doing some store credit cash scheme

Well, no, I don't know if the kid the parents definitely didn't make some that's what I'm There's wrong turns at some to think this is this 11 year old thinks it's okay to stand out front and pedal store credit And let me wet my beak a little bit. Hey, you saved 10 bucks. Oh, you're sitting there and it goes you're like, yeah, it's 250 50 smoking I'm just saying I don't think you're gonna get in there on the transactions. It's gonna go as smoothly as you anticipate There's gonna be some fucking roadblocks when you get in there and talk to an official game stop employee Who got you little Ronnie? This game stop's been closed for 20 years

Yeah, that's tough This one's from chris 10 homey first time is it garbage to take a doggy bag home from a wedding? That's fucking how do you feel about this? They encourage it But the centerpieces everybody takes home a centerpiece Did that shit ever make it out of the hotel? I don't know. I really I Those little bags that jordan almonds can kick rocks too. I don't really hate it those things I think I've remember my mom maybe walked a couple of times taking one and being uneven being like

What do you can't just take that that belongs to now? They want you to I know I know I know because they pay money for it or whatever Yeah, so it's like yeah, they're ours. Take them and I guess Was simply flowers or something right? Yes flowers centerpiece. Yeah, I guess it sits at the house for two three days and you throw it out but I mean taking it back to a hotel and then from the hotel to the car the car to the house seems not I got on this luggage now if you're driving home from the wedding if it's a local wedding I'll give you that Yeah, if it's in the city and you're living the burbs you pop any take you hop in the car drive home

I'll give you that but dog transfer and free shit from a from anywhere bothers me doggy bag at a wedding is Super trash Yes, you gotta think because you gotta think the night's not over after dinner They clear the plates. They put out the coffee Everyone gets a piece of the cake the dance the pop that is that then there's the after party There's the actually the hotel bar like oh everyone's going here for what are you leaving that on the table for the next four hours Do they offer do you want us to I've never been at a wedding when they go? Do you want me to wrap this get the fuck out of here? never

That's insane Uh-uh take a piece of cake home, maybe Yeah, that I get but then like what are you putting the steak in asparagus in there with the cake? That's a bad look the cake I get Because they don't even box it up for you and be like you as you're walking by there's like They'll have like, you know 50 pieces of box cake You know what the ultimate trash to go is the two plates on top of each other Like a flying saucer hold on shout out the fucking chicken holiday used to be in like langhorn or levittown

They used to give they used to chicken holidays. All right I don't know what that fucking means But I just picture a chicken somewhere down in port of iarta with a couple of drinks in them Just trying to get coaxed Just taking it easy chicken holidays. All right. Oh for me. It was kippy in a cabana with the 12th piece. That's all right Both of these are okay chicken holidays in my book, but I have to be british to call it a holiday and it Hello Chicken holiday it was a chicken place

You know like a fucking wings to go whatever like the you know a fried One of those fried chicken places chicken holiday. I'm sure you can find it or something about it And dude the chicken finger platter Was like it seemed like 15 pounds of french fries 100 pounds of chicken And they would cram it down with two play paper plates and staple it and that's that was the tecouc And like dude the fries would be sticking out the side one would be stapled It was fucking all right as a kid, man My dad said we were going to chicken holiday clear the calendar boys

I bet they put out a decent honey mustard and barbecue sauce I didn't fuck with it back then I was straight up and down that a two liter of coke get out of the way I love a honey moss a good one. Are you looking up chicken holiday? I have this place. Oh Still there. I doubt it's still there. They've got a couple locations buddy. Sure. Are they in pens? Is it a pennsylvania thing? Are they like all over type? It's a new jersey thing. Okay This one was in pa. They crossed the river. There you go. I assumed it was probably like a local small frant like a you know a A few guys that owned it or whatever. Yeah

It was like a kennedy fried chicken type place. Yeah on their stinks on there. It was nicer. This was like a night like a On their website They have all their reviews like posted like like highlighting their reviews, right? They're all me. They're literally all kevin It's all five stars awesome as usual a plus plus and then one two-star review from patricia My four dollar coleslaw was forgot Well jay, I get that is two star I mean it's a holiday. You can't be worried what's going on somebody forget your coleslaw. It's all right I like a scoop of coleslaw. Dude, it's 10 reviews and eight of them are from kevin

That's awesome. Wait, really the name kevin. I swear to god. All right. This is great. You can't write this here I'll put that in this fat court file Case closed on this porker, uh-huh It's probably you don't have a staple in you squeeze you in a plate I This one's from tom Is it garbage to bring a kfc family meal complete with sides to the beach for lunch? Yes 100%

the beach is a It can go bad quickly on on what you're eating acceptable foods to be eaten on the beach Which we've touched on but never maybe made a formal list. Well, it's tough because hot dog sandwiches Did you guys not just see what just happened? What this guy's question is about a chicken holiday. It's true checking on the beach My god, it is Sometimes I think there's like somebody else writing this show there's like a bigger force writing this show That's wild. Uh-huh. We're just living some simulation and in the next room over. There's another podcast where that didn't happen Make the fat one fart. Yeah

You didn't coordinate that that just happened. No, I brought up chicken holiday organically And then I saw there was another chicken one. So I brought that up. I didn't realize it was a chicken A chicken on a holiday. Wow Yeah Yeah, you can't do it man Anything that the sand could get in but the this is tough because This is my this is how I struggle in life a lot with Your hands are inherently sandy at the beach

But you only eat with or there's you know, your hands are predisposed to be sandy at the beach But you only want to eat things with your hand at the beach typically Yeah, sandwich hot dog pretzels cheese. It's bags of chips burgers. Where are you getting? I don't know. I made up burgers hot dogs. Um Sandwich hoagies hoagies. The hoagie is really the The beach food We'll do pizza too, which isn't bad because they'll deliver down on the beach. You just call up. Hey, I'm on fucking Sam's Sam's doesn't deliver but you go. Hey, I'm on 14th street beach and whoever they'll like just come and you just love to walk

That's not bad. Um Especially because we're such a huge crew at the beach And so it's like you just get fucking six pizzas and everybody'll fucking fries from Curly's fries Some place also does a funnel cake french fries, which is wild What I don't know what they are. This is just strips of dough Maybe but it's like a little more savory as well. Like I don't know what kind of fry things. I don't know Maybe it's french fries dipped in uh funnel cake. I don't think so. It might just be the shape

I'm not sure but for some whatever it is even if it is the shape. Oh, wait a minute. Oh, it's shaped like a funnel cake shaped like a french fry Oh Okay, I don't know if it's just strips of fucking dough toby's on the case It's strips instead of making the whole funnel cake. They just do like fry shaped things And then they same thing powdered sugar some of the dump dunk it in. Yeah, but it is more Savory, I don't know if they salt it a little more or something. It's a little more ha chi machi either way I mean, uh, that's pretty good. Yeah, I remember one of the kids came back with I'm like, oh, what are those like funnel cake french fries?

And I was like, yo, what the fuck did you just get over here you little shit go get yourself some pussy here's 20 Uh um I think kfc across the board is not good Kfc is tough anything with knives and forks. I would agree with that. What would you need to sell your need? Fuck you're sitting there. First of all, it shouldn't be any hot food on the beach is a tough look You can't even mash potatoes and gravy on the fucking beach. Maybe I have a fucking heat stroke. Yeah, that's wild That's fucking nuts. Don't do that

That's wild Pizza's all right because it cools quickly if it's a delivered zots, you know relative That's as hot as I'll go a hot dog. Maybe but you know Zanya's good. No, you're nuts. Um But Yeah, it's tough. I remember I saw one guy this was last year two years ago this guy brought Lunch meat and made his own sandwich on the beach and I was like that's Fucking I think you told us it's crazy crazy How there has to be sand in there has to be you're make you're peeling like pieces of turkey and cheese

And you think sand's really small, but when a piece is in your mouth and it's it's gonna be chewing a fucking boulder Oh Hear it. Yeah, you get sometimes they get muscles or clams Sand for a week Uh, you know what we did uh last time I went down the beach which felt pretty classy because Denise is you know getting older Right. She's you know she we go down to the beach and she Now if it's just her or a small crew like me it was me my wife and her and uh

She'll pay for the to come down and put a Uh Umbrella in now It's like 10 bucks for the day 20 bucks for the day because they have like rentals on the beach You can run an umbrella. You can rent a chair or like a fucking car or whatever They have like a little station like every couple of blocks. She comes down. She's young kids You know what I mean? They're like college kids or high school kids Hits them with a 20. They put it in you leave it there. You just walk away

You don't have to fucking do anything at five o'clock. They just come back and pick it up. I like it. It's very nice But I felt like a little I felt like a little bit of a pussy. There's this kid fucking I'm sitting there like, you know, where the chips at right now, but as a man. He's infringing on my manhood That's the man's duty to put that in I like that now it's like another moment another man's long unless you gotta do one of the beats to better I hate all that shit drives me crazy I don't do it Pay you pay a nice little pool boy to do it for you. There you go pair of tight shorts

Hachi machi Um, all right, let's do like a couple more here. This is from gary 20 dollar stockholder here No big deal never have one read but has yours or someone else's mother ever shown up to your wedding with two dates Which is crazy I don't even understand that It's like preseason football. They're competing for the job I want to see how you do the electric slide. Then I'll make my decision two guys wearing red pennies That's crazy. I mean I could see I can't see anything around that

Although polyamory is uh polyamory and what is called is becoming more of a thing Really the multiple people in a relationship. Yeah Swingers upside down pineapples with those old schoolers though Two dates. This is what I don't know man I don't get it, but also, you know to each their own. I guess enjoy yourselves. That would be weird That's weird to know your mom's Dayton two guys at the saint who are cool with it. I guess That's straight. That's wacky wild stuff. Hmm

Broad looks a party though. I guess Definitely definitely taking leftovers from there. Yeah Put her between two blades Staple them Checking all day pretty good. Uh this one's from andrew is your is it garbage to have a bidet that doesn't heat the water Rather just shoots the cold water from the toilet line onto your butt. I didn't know that bidet's heated the water was heated I think there's uh, I think there's some Uh, you know

Less in-depth ones that you just fucking hook to the tank and you know, it's just like uh, just squirts the clean like fresh water Okay, you would like flush the you know toilet with or whatever. Okay, uh Less invasive ones and then there's like the big ones that you look and they got which I Bidets in a public ish restroom are wild to me You know what I mean? Oh, that's wait. No They're done. Really? What? Oh, they happen in hotels. Yeah, you're right. Okay. Just some hotels are like, you know, uh It's not some podcast you do that we go to that have them and I'm not clean water though Right. It's just toilet water. But before it gets to the toilet. It's what it's fresh water. Okay. Yeah

It's not coming from the tank in the toilet. Yeah, but that would still be fresh water. But oh really? Yeah, where do you think that comes from? That's that's water you can drink In the back of the toilet you can drink that water. Yeah, I mean, I don't recommend it But yeah, I thought the only dirt from that water is that's in the tank. That's clean water That's the same water as the sink Really? Uh-huh. See I thought that there was pipes for toilet water and shower water and then pipes for drinking water Really? Yeah, it's all pipes, baby. Uh, no, it's all the same water. It is. Yeah, huh? Uh-huh. Damn. I didn't know that so like a copper pipe will run into the bathroom

And then split go to the toilet go to the shower and go to the sink So the only place the water is not drinkable is actually in the toilet bowl Right, unless you're doing this for a future reference for you or something. Um, I didn't know that I thought that water was Not as good as no, it's regular fresh clean water Yeah, then when it goes down it goes down to shoe they I believe they call that the sanitary line Goes down to poop shoe. Yeah, which is also the same water Goes in the same thing from the sink from the And it all goes and all it's one in and one out and it all goes back to the water treatment plant

They take that I don't get and I don't want to talk about it because it makes me think I'm drinking poop water That's why I'm all right. Let's see. I don't understand that that's why you're gonna get the goddamn water filter I'm fucking telling you All right, man. We'll stop drinking out of the toilet. That's why that's a fucking start. You don't need a water filter I don't I don't get other people's bidets. That's too intimate to me. That's too weird Like you're a little butthole using someone else's It's just like a water fountain, man. But for your body into like your most Intimate spot and that means that's been

In someone else's asshole to me as well. It's like reusing someone's butt plug. You consider your butt the your most intimate spot Minds my ear lobes Gee man, gee, you don't you get over here. I'll give you a little nibby kiss my neck I would say the nipples the most intimate spot that's sensitive nipples aren't intimate you show your nipples to everybody I got nipples show my butthole everybody It's on my credit card Sir, how do I know this is you I

Don't I just that's all it's crossing the line to me a little bit. I don't know man It's spraying your ass. It's spraying your poopy asshole That to me If somebody goes, hey, man This is the way I look at it detach it from the toilet if someone goes Hey, man, this is the thing I use to reach around and spray my asshole with it Do you want to hold it or do you want to use that go absolutely fucking not it does have toothbrush vibes?

Yes, thank you. It's like that's yours. I don't want to I don't want to you know Would you shower in someone else's shower though? Yeah, that's completely different Not asshole first. Yeah, not upside down specifically for your asshole and shit is different You're not technically washing shit out of your ass crack When you're showering, you know what I mean? I am I'm sure. Yeah Obviously, there's that's not the main use for it. You know what I mean? You're washing your hair. You're not Just for jerking off

Yeah, the shower to me is way grosser get a little wet work really That's not that's nuts. That's great Uh-uh, it's in the toilet. First of all, this thing is in the toilet Sure It's just a hose Going up your butthole Yeah, that other people you that's are you even a bidet man? When have you used a bidet?

I've been to europe quite a number of times. I've never used a bidet. Yeah, it's all right. No, and I didn't see anyone I was in paris Yeah, I don't think they have them at hostels It wasn't an hostile because the charles the fifth hotel in the fourth mdc molt Okay, everybody knows he was the worst charles All right, let's see that four or six they call them they called him chuck They try to kick him out of the family gotta start and open his own hotel to make ends meet this fucking guy Um, all right, let's see here. This one's from tommy b never happened red

How many meals have you eaten naked? Which I feel is a you thing. Sure. Sure. Yeah um That last the last blowout that I had in the one hotel right before boston I was brought up on charges. I don't know if I was in boston That wild order was in boston and those charges in fat court didn't stick you shook the case of d in the blueberry pancakes I think that was boston completely naked completely naked That I can kind of get but what do you get up to that?

Well, where did they they didn't deliver to the door hotels don't do that Do you went down cloth unless you went down naked? This is what I don't get. I'm not necessarily opposed to it But I went down a series of I went down there with clothes on got the food came up the elevator took my clothes off set it up and then got completely naked moved the The desk chair over right in front of the tv between the the The bed set the ironing board up put a put a couple chafing dishes out. That's exactly what I did Yeah, you put the ironing board up but you put it all the way down. So it's like a little table

I have myself a little time there Is that naked my little my little stinger hanging out. Yeah, I don't get that. That's uh, it was like a I wanted to be like completely free and like be completely My disgusting glutton self I was in a real dark place. Whoa, this guy is fucked up Yikes, but that's the psychology behind Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's I don't have that Disgustiness or whatever. I would be naked more if it was socially acceptable. It is not I was going to record

We have a strong you clothes policy here at tooty tooty tooty ink or if I wasn't making people Tooty tooty that should be our loft. That should be our next venture start a law firm or accountant Tooty tooty and tooty tooty tooty and tooty. There you go. Tooty and tooty There you go. Like I even I thought uncomfortable on the championship when I had my shirt off was I grossing you guys out when I had my shirt off You were very comfortable. Yeah Yeah, because I also said was that grossing you out because I know you said you couldn't finish your chipotle that one time When I was when I came back from the gym and I was all sweaty. Yeah, that's totally different. Is it you were dripping in fully

You came in like yeah, you were eating and it was like drips on the tail. I was a little different We're in A weird hotel room that had a dining room. So when we're in the right setting I can feel comfortable to have my shirt off around you guys Listen, this is my take on it. Um You would the rights, but this is you push the the the the boundary of right setting That's that's my beef with the right setting is your hotel room. You should have your shirt off Everywhere else everywhere else your shirt should be on my shirt usually off at the house Yeah, that's why I don't come over

That's why you're not allowed in my house. Well, if you came over I would put my shirt on I think you say that though Yeah, and also you Since you have lost the weight You now can lift You put your belly in your pants. Yeah, it's no longer under but now the belly's in the pants It's a tough transitional and along the side it creates these Valleys I would call them or you can and at this crevasse a corvallion two grand canyons screaming down the side

Right to your your johnson And at the right angle in the right lighting with the right whatever I can see a little too much down there. Okay. I don't want to see I don't want to see but it's just like You want to see a little bit? Listen, you can take your shirt off when someone else has their shirt off. That's the new rule. How about that? All right I feel like that's a normal. Hey, we're going to the pool

We're you know, we're we're changing. We're in a green room at a show and I'm gonna change my shirt cool We're all getting right whatever Other than that Your clothes stay on fair socks as well socks and shoes as well. Why? Your feet aren't good And you do them a lot Well, you go. I got great feet. I do have great feet. You haven't seen them in years, apparently That's not true. I'm looking at him right now right now. What does that even mean?

Right here. First of all, they're under a table. You have shoes and you have socks. That's how much I have a camera down there That's how much you'll lie to prove a point. Um, I need I need to I need to go see the girls. I need I need to get a patty Okay, I think it's some some scraping done but at heart I have beautiful feet They just need fucking tools to shape at heart. They're good kids Yeah, they made a couple of they just need a chance. Yeah, maybe an after-school program. I don't know. PCB has a great joke Uh, oh, yeah, how long is she goes? How long have your feet been smoking cigarettes? People have bad feet. It's a good piece of business. Casey Bay. She's over there in the Edinburgh Fringe

If you're over there, go check her out. Check out Casey Bay. We're gonna wrap it up here gang. Okay. This has been a fun one A nice little family episode. Good time. Love you. Love you too, buddy. Guys. Check out. Check out a fucking live show We're gonna be all over the fucking road. We're cooking, baby. Come see us. We're selling out. We're moving some tickets Uh, this live shows are a good time me and the big man co-headline. We come back out. We play yg with the crowd It's fucking cuckoo bananas. I want to see you there. Love yous. See you next week. Peace