Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Chicken in a Can w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: September 12, 2022

Are You Garbage is back with a Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Nutrafol: https://nutrafol.com/Men Promo Code: GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans

Yeah, but let's talk about them live shows, baby. That middle class famous tour. That's a good, good time, that middle class famous tour. We're coming to a city near you to stand up comedy show. Then we play a little AYG with the crowd. Fantastic way to introduce new people to the show. Grab your best guy, grab your best gal. Grab your girlfriends, grab your guy friends.

Bring the whole squad and come see us. Yeah, gang, next week, September 13th, we're gonna be in Kansas City. Then September 14th, we're gonna be in Springfield. All right. Then in September 15th, we're gonna be in St. Louis. Then in October, coming to Nashville. We're going to Indy in November.

We're going to Philly's second show out of there. That's almost sold out. Get those tickets. Don't sleep on that. Then we're coming to Providence, Rhode Island, and Boston in December. Those shows are sold out at the moment, but we're adding tickets.

Be on the lookout. Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts. Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back

to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage. Hey, yeah. Little show. We sit there with your favorite comedians, and we find out that you're going to be classy. Yeah. Those are just a big old piece of trash.

Trash, trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you. I'm a bit of a somber day down here at Antonie's basement. Oh, boy. What happened? She's very upset. God. Ozzie's moving back to England.

I heard. She thought she had a shot. I know. She's all bummed out. He signed her titty at a concert a few years ago, and that was it. OK. My co-host is coming at you from across the table.

It's a family episode. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman. He is the Prince of Park Avenue, but always the king of the boards, baby. Yeah. Give it up for Mr. Steel, your girl, 2003. KJ, Kevin James Ryan.

All right. What's up, everybody? The ladies man back in high school. Weird joke. Somebody was Mr. Steel, your girl. Who was it? It was Usher or something? I was like somebody's nickname back in the day, AKA

Mr. Steel, your girl. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I was kippy doing his puff daddy karaoke. Being a wrap. What's up, everybody? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.

Full video available on YouTube. As you know, those numbers are Schroderoaks cooking. Then obviously, I'd be remiss. I mean, I don't know. There's a lot of things cooking around here, tooties recently. Not to mention a mess she's got going up there. But I mean, the YouTube numbers, Schroderoaks.

Cooking. Right? The audio numbers, Schroderoaks. Those live shows, sold out. Whoa, shout out to Seattle and Portland. But there is nothing quite as white-hot as that motherfucking patreon.com slash RU garbage. Thank you, Mr. Conti and Mr. Yee.

Check it the fuck out, baby. Shout out to the fucking Army of Garbage, all the generals on there. Appreciate it. Love the fucking support. Y'all are the best. How about a nice quick shout out to our producer, extraordinaire.

The magic man makes us all look good. He works the ones and twos. He crosses the T's. He dots the I's. Spins all the hits. Does the drive time. Give it up for T-Bone McMuffin. Toby McMuffin, everybody.

What's up, dudes? Hey, T-Bone. Trey Songz was Mr. Steel Yo Girl. It's AK, Mr. Steel Yo Girl. I believe it, too. Yikes. By the way, I caught. I was Mr. Steel Yo Rock Dog.

Mr. Steel, your lunch. I bet you've done a little trading back in the day, getting your hands on something. You're nuts. You thought I wanted what other people have. You're crazy. You're such a weird fat kid, man. It's so strange.

You're a weird fat man, but. No, I'm traditional. I like the normal things that a normal fat guy would eat. But you weren't like a big sweet guy back in the day. I mean, this is old hat. We've gone over this. But yeah. You got fat on rolls.

That's nuts. Yeah, carbs. You actually was just Skittles that got you fat, all right? Well, that was a combination. You were having pancakes 10 times a week a month ago. I had a little bit of a more creative palate, I would say. Like, because you liked candy? It's not like he got fat eating filet mignon,

you chubster. London Royal. Yeah. He's Wellington every day. You've been eating fucking, you eat everything. Yes, I do. Yeah. I was a picky eater.

Picky eater. Yeah, I like my buttered noodles. Yeah. I like my peanut butter sandwiches. There you go. I like my chicken nuggies. I like my French fries. Barbecue sauce.

Not until my teenage years. That was the palate. You were like Taco Bell. Never. I don't fuck with Taco Bell. Now, I mean, you made a bunch of shit with small ingredients. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

What I was going to say, I saw that documentary of the and one doc on the Do You Sir? Hey, yo. Shout out to Hot Sauce. Man, I was. Woo! Yeah. Hot sizzle.

Professor. Man. I remember when that shit, that was like. I had no, I completely, I thought, I thought first of all. I was trying to be able to do some of the moves. Get me a rock. Some T-Bone hit me. I'm not bad.

There's a basketball in my shirt. I could do that one. Hey, yo. That was also great at halftime. You had to wear like a forex to pull that move off. You got to be kidding me. I had no idea that completely. I remember the shorts, I guess.

I didn't know that they were a separate company. I thought Nike owned that. Yeah. I thought that was like an offshoot. By the time that came on my radar, those my dad was wearing those. I have a pair of animal shorts. Now I can get into this.

All right. I had a pair of those that my dad wore to play racquetball. Your dad was rocking N1 gear to racquetball. Yeah. Give it up for Honey Mustard, everybody. He never moved. I played with him once or twice. He would just stand there and rip the ball

about 4,000 miles an hour. Yeah. Those old timers learn how to hit it hard and wear it to put it because they don't like moving. No, not at all, man. He ran me ragging, talking shit the whole time, though, right out of his mouth. Yeah.

Yeah, I was big back in the day. I was in huge. It was so good. Early high school probably, early 2000s is when it hit. Like really big. And I remember like, I remember those DVDs going around. Like we would get our hands on the DVD, like, oh, shit. I got volume four, volume five, or whatever.

No, and the headquarters was. Paoli, Pennsylvania. I did not know that. It was right outside of, you know, it was our stopping grounds. Great to fill it up here. Started in Philly, yeah. First one was in Lyndon, New Jersey.

But they did the first one. It was like a couple people there. Then they were selling out stadiums. Then they were in Europe backing it out, though. I know. Pretty sweet, man. That's a tough gig. Has this been business corner with H.O.L.D.?

I heard their gross domestic revenue was over $200 million. Did you know anybody that tried out? What? What are you talking about? I can see some of your buddies. Try out? Yeah, they had tryouts.

Yeah, no, we weren't trying out. First of all, we were like 14 from Bucks County, Pennsylvania. The professor was young. Yeah, but he had handles. Cross you up. He's still big online right now. Snap your septum. I follow him on TikTok.

You do? He still goes to the fucking court and balls out. Really? Well, now it's a thing. Because he was so big. I think he pivoted. And now he's huge on YouTube, I think, or all social media.

But I think he's got a really big TikTok channel. And he goes places. And it's like, now you try to beat the professor. Nice. But if you're wearing N1 now. Sounds like a patriarchal to me. Tough look. Oh, we get the professor out here?

Run some fucking games? You up there? That'd be pretty sweet. I'd probably score a cup. I'd back them down. Now, when does that come back into style now for the kids? And one's a tough look. You think?

Yeah. Now? But it could come. It's everything cyclical. It could be cool to get. Yeah, but it could come back ironically. Because the kids are wearing them. That shit's all ironic.

What does that mean, though? You're still wearing it. How is that ironic? Because it's not cool. It's not what the cool kids are wearing. But then it is what the cool kids are wearing. Sure. So we could do that for N1.

Maybe I'll try to bring it back. There you go. Think I got a shot? Is this you telling me you bought N1 shorts? That's what I think this whole fucking thing is. Might be a couple of charges on the MX. Might be questionable. I'd get the sneaks.

I remember the sneaks. Couple of associates of mine used to wear them. Older gentlemen. Jigolo's, what do you mean? Drug dealers. You're going to old drug dealers? He had a couple. Older guys?

Yeah, older guys. What's up, Larry? Can't call it. That's almost verbatim. He was a big ringtone guy. The one dude, real big ringtone guy. Oh, man. Good times.

Yeah, good times. Anywho, I did want to ask you one thing before we get started. As you know, gang, this is a family episode. Thought we lost you for a second. Me and Tibo made eye contact in that moment. I was a goat boy. Yeah, you've been making a lot of eye contact, too. I see that going on.

I'm getting old and getting old and see that. You're nervous. You think we're after you? You're going to put me in a home. I'm going to come in. Orderlies are going to come in with a big net, aren't you? Next thing you know, I'm sitting playing checkers with some guy wearing a helmet.

I don't like it. We got a headset mic on you. We pipey in. Hey, applesauce. Hit the intro, will you? I got to go and send you a lot of night out of here. Shit. Gang, it's a family episode.

As you know, when you sign up for the Patreon, you get your question right on the air. But before we can leave, we just did like a business run down an one. I was like a documentary review. Fucking Jim Kramer over here. Let's go. Jim Kramer.

Mad money guy. That guy sucks. Hey, cue ball zipping, will you? He got caught like embezzling and shit. Now he's still on TV. I caught that in the hotel in Seattle. I'm like, this shit's still running. He was on every channel that fucking guy.

I'm trying to sit there. I was trying to watch him say by the bell or something. I suppose they're still calling in. Like, what are you, nuts? I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jesus. Buy weapons.

What are you doing? I'm like, listening to this guy. Brick and mortar, baby. Let's do it. Anyway, before we get into that, I was going to ask you, were you a pork loin family growing up? Again, I guess this goes back. I know you didn't fuck with it.

I think so. Yeah, I remember loin. I remember. I remember pork loin was big. I remember visually seeing them. But that thing was laid out in the sink on your way to school. You know it was going to be some good eat and nap night. I remember the black pan that, you know that like,

kind of marble looking black pan that was big back in the day. No. It's like the finish. It had like white specks. It was like black. Oh, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah. But it was like old West kind of cookware.

Kind of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like that decorated a little bit. Sure, sure. You know, I remember a fucking pork loin's being in that thing with like rosemary and thyme being like, get this the fuck away from me. Little sauerkraut.

Oh, loved it. Little mash, little coleslaw, and some applesauce. Yeah, you like a pork loin? Love a pork loin, dude. Pork loin's are all right. That's the filet mignon of fucking pig meat. Oh, that's a way to put it. What the hell is this?

I'm a hoof man myself. Would your family season it themselves? Would you buy the pre-season vacuum sealed grocery store? The half-field. They were big. Oh, yeah. Pre-season, buddy. Already got the undercoating right.

It's already cooked, too. Slide that thing. I think we dig in a couple that were cooked. Because I remember it was just. Put it on the hood of the car on the right, oh. Thinner than 10. Ah, shit. Shout out to a pork loin.

Delicious. Good meal. I had a bit of a trashy. It's one of those things because inherently we're so trashy. But my card got declined. Yikes, where? Yeah. And is that going to happen to me?

No, it was my personal card. Laser. Tough look, yikes. The lady looked at me with just such. I went, I had to buy a suit. I got a wedding come up. I had to buy a suit. Nice.

So not Sweet T's wedding, right? Not Tommy C's wedding. No. All right. You're not buying yet, right? I mean, I'm going to use the one I just bought. You're going to use the same suit, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right. Grab the check out. Just the pants, please. Can we let these out, by the way? Just the pants. I go shopping upstairs. I buy the suit, right? Upstairs where?

There's two floors. It was like men's upstairs, women's downstairs. I think we're at a Banana Republic maybe. Really? J.Crew, one of them. What? You're fitting in the things over there? Yeah, I'm not.

Dude, I'm nowhere near as big. I wear an extra large. OK. All right. The listeners have guessed you up to think we are the same size. We are not the same. I'm not saying we're the same size.

I'm just surprised you fit in those European cuts now. J.Crew and Banana Republic aren't European. OK. That's why I did not say H&M or Zara. OK. I had to fucking move up out of there. I'm an American large, all right? Good luck getting you into a uni club, huh?

Never. I got to go in the loading dock. But I get fucking in. I'm there. Buy the suit. Don't want to brag. Suit, shirt. All came to $700.

Jesus. Right? Expensive. But I got a lot of what? I got a wedding this week. Wait, where'd you say where'd you actually get? I got three weddings in the next six weeks or something. Where'd you actually get it?

I forget, honestly. J.Crew or Banana Republic? I think it was Banana Republic. Does Banana Republic only sell Banana Republic products? Or do they have other designers? I think it's only Banana Republic. Banana Republic suits $700, huh? I think the jacket was, I think it was like three and two

or three and three for the jacket, the pants, and then a shirt. I thought they were old news. Maybe two sh- I don't know. Huh. I don't know. I honestly forget where it was. You got some N1s. Hey, yo, that's my nephew.

So I buy that. And I don't know, anytime I make a big purchase, I'm always real wonky. I have no credit card confidence. None. Zero. I check right before. I wanted to, but I didn't because I wasn't going,

my wife's like, here, let's pop in here. So I was going to go to whatever store I was trying to go to. Does she lead the charge on stuff like that? What do you mean? Does she pick out the outfit and all that stuff for you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really, that's good. I mean, I'm not like, she's not dressing me.

I have a say. I'm a grown man at the end of the day, you know what I mean? Lot of room in the crotch. I got to take this in a bit. Shout out to Patty. Give me a karate chop, right in the balls. Make sure there was a good, god damn it. Why were they so worried about the crotch space

in the 80s and 90s? Because we were too fat. I know, but not once ever. From when I started buying my own pants, I ever been like, there's too much room in this crotch. Because you run around the schoolyard and a fat shit like you is going to rip it right down the middle, then you're fucking up shit.

How is this on me and not you? You're just projecting. Because I was reinforced everywhere. I was like a transformer. Tack welds and fucking gear in there. Dude, I had tough skin crotch, tough skin knees, the whole nine yards. I was like a fucking.

Looked like a welder. Looked like I played for the Baltimore Colts. So I go up and I buy that, goes through, and I was all nervous. I didn't check, right? What are you using? Can I ask you using debit card, credit card? I got a debit card.

Debit card. You don't have a personal credit card, do you? I do have a personal credit card. I got something real bad with $200 credit limit. They won't juice me. And then I got a Venmo. Remember I pulled the wool over Venmo's eyes? That's right.

That's at about three grand. Really? Yeah. They moved that. I think I got approved at $2,200 for the Venny, and then they bumped it to three grand. Huh. Yeah.

That's pretty good. But I get that to the broad. That's her. You let her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? Because she's got her, she has European credit cards still with her bank, and a lot of time they freeze it

or like, hey. I don't know what's going on. You know exactly, because if it's used too much in the US or whatever, it'll just fucking spike. Three Gs through Venmo. Yeah. Is it Visa or MasterCard? I don't know.

I never met the gentleman. I don't know. It's got to be one of them. Can't just be a Venmo card. Does it come out of your Venmo? No. I'll tell you right now. Hold on.

I should say it on it, right? But you said it was for her. Oh, she has it, yeah. You'd be a real suspect if you had it. I have it. I have a Capital One Platinum with $200 credit limit, though. No flies on you, huh?

Jerkulfs won't fucking increase it, either. Yeah, they play hardball. I am late for it. I'm actually getting back in their good graces. My credit score is jumping. But so I go, I buy that, and I go, it's one of those things where I know I have the money in there.

But I'm still nervous. And then it fucking, it goes through. I feel like I'm like, I feel like I robbed the bank. You know what I mean? I'm like, all right. One for the good guys. Yeah. Go downstairs.

She's like, oh, let me, she's looking or something. I go, oh, yeah, but she's a sweater or something like that. So I go, oh, yeah, let's get it, you know. Come on. And she doesn't like spending. I got to convince her to spend money. I'm like, most guys have to tell their wives to stop spending. I'm like, fucking take the Uber.

Get this. You know what I mean? So I'm like. I'm a big take the Uber guy. She's still taking a subway. Like a fucking bozo. I'm like, what are you doing? They're eating people's food on us.

It's nuts. Crazy. So I go to get it. So I go to get her sweater. $60, something like that. $540. So I was like, you know, and it gets declined. We're too close to the sun, huh?

Pork chop. And I'm like, fuck. And I'm like, maybe I put the pin in wrong. And I know I didn't put the pin in wrong. But I tried again. Declined. And now. Take the suit back.

We're going to add more room to this crotch. And I'm like, fuck. But I got the suit in hand. And now it's getting to so I go, I can use another card. Right? But now I'm like, I'm also flying blind on other cards. Why don't you go to the app on the phone

and find out what the deal? That's real trash stuff. Hold on a second. There's 10 grand in that again. Oh, I've done that so many times. Because you're a dirtbag. No, if it gets declined, I go in and transfer it. Hang on one second.

I got to move some stuff around. I didn't have the $14.99 for the burnies. Let me call my offshore guy. Anybody know the country code to Switzerland by any chance? He could be skiing right now. Hang on. Sorry, it's 8 AM in China. It's a banking holiday in Beijing, I think.

Her clothes. You know the new year. Year of the rat. Year of the fat rat. Sunday in Taipei. And she hit me with, we can do multiple forms of payment if you wanted. And I was like, I got to do it too.

You're splitting a sweater? She adds the gratuity. I don't trust them. I've been in that situation as a server. And you just have to fucking own it, man. I thought she was believing. I go, I just bought it upstairs. It might be like a security thing, which it was.

But I got the text like five minutes later in the next store going, yeah, they didn't want you robbing them. That was a security issue. Did you make this charge? Did you try to make a $60 charge? You hear that much of a bozo? That $600 charge comes up. Hey, is this you?

No. It was multiple times in the same store. That within five minutes or whatever, that they were probably like, this is weird activity. Nobody buys multiple things in the store at the same time, except Kippy. Nobody buys a suit that's $45.28. I don't know what I'm shopping for a suit.

It could have been a tie. Something's not added up. Kip, I got it. What? NutriFall. NutriFall? You know NutriFall. I know you've been using it, baby.

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What's that? Mint mobile, baby. I'm talking mint mobile. $15 a month for phone service. I'm sure you're sitting there saying, what's this fat piece of shit talking about? Too good to be true. Gotta be a catch.

He's lying to us, wants to catch. Here's the deal. There is no catch. They cut out the middleman, pass the savings right onto you. Phone sounds clear as a bell. Yeah guys, it's the first company to sell wireless service online only.

They cut out the cost of retail stores and pass those sweet, sweet savings directly onto your sweet ass. I've been saying it for you. My wife has used mint mobile for years. Brian Reynolds owns the joint. What are we doing? Wait, you're like Deadpool?

You're like Van Wilder? What are we doing here? I know. He's a good looking kid. It's fantastic. It's easy, PZ, they sent it right to your door. You play on Bob Boom, set it all up, keep your phone, keep the numbers.

Any anxiety or worry that you have about switching, completely out the window with mint mobile. For anyone who hates their phone bill, mint mobile offers premium wireless service for just 15 clams, 15 bucks, 15 shekels a month. Mint mobile gives you the best rate whether you're buying one or a family and mint mobile family started two lines.

That's how they beat this. Yeah, I'm locked into a family pan meanwhile with the big guys. They're putting me over a barrel. Oh yeah, dude, you might be stuck with your big box wireless to like 2088. Such a sucker. To get your new wireless plan for 15 bucks a month

and get the plan shipped to your door for free, go to mintmobile.com slash garbage. That's mintmobile.com slash garbage. Call your wireless boat of 15 bucks a month, mintmobile.com slash garbage do it. But man, I went right back to being like, how do you feel? And I go, we just own the situation.

This woman thinks I'm poor. I just had to fucking take it. Yeah, we can do multiple forms. Then I whipped out the other credit card that I just got approved for for the miles. I opened it up. What is the Barclays? That's a personal.

That's personal. Yeah, it's all personal. I'm not buying fucking. Hey, whatever you wanna do. Hey, okay. They called me for approval. Hello. So yeah, it was just one of those like fucking gut.

I was just like, fuck, this is, this sucks. Yeah, sucks. It's a tough look, man. I've just been, I've always been bad with money and I always will be fucking stink around. I make sure. I don't walk into a situation blind anymore. I know.

I make sure I know. And if it's a high pressure situation, I'm probably gonna take- What the finals? What do you mean? It was game seven. No, I took the, I took the fam out to dinner. This was months ago.

And I made sure that I had enough- You run it after every course? Nah, run it, run it. All right. All right. I take that here. Here, bring the check, girl. Let's get the appetizers out of the way.

I couldn't find the entries. Wait a minute. All right, guy with the cheesecake. Oh, pay as you go. No, I made sure I had the money. Cause that would have been an embarrassing situation. Sure, yeah. I made sure I had the money,

the actual money on me. On you. Yeah. And then put it on the credit card. Then immediately ran to the bank and I just made a check and then back in there. But I can't go to a Navy Federal. So I gotta do a three step project.

Sure. It's like three card Monty with you. Yeah, I gotta put it in my girl's gotta deposit, Venmo it to me and then get it over to Navy Federal. That's real fucking trashy. Yeah. Go through the Panama Canal, as I call it. But.

Good stuff. And then he said, this is a family episode, guys on a family episode. When you join a Patreon, we will ask your garbage question over there. And how fucking fitting. This one's from Nick first time, long time. How about putting huge group meals on your card

to feel good about yourself? Cause then you collect the Venmo and it feels like you have a lot of money. Yeah. Feels like you're eating for free. Uh-huh. He goes, yeah, if you put a big thing and then you get everybody sends you money

and you got like 450 sitting in the Venmo. What's the timeline on that? On what? I don't operate like that. Sure. I don't operate like that. Okay. In a paying, we split it, whatever.

But I guess I would. I just don't have that many friends. I was gonna say, it's not like a group. It's not like you're so generous that you've never been out to eat with anybody that hasn't been your parents. Yeah, it's true. Or me.

Yeah. You go out to a situation like that. All right. Couple couples, whatever it is. What's the timeline? Okay. You're paying. Here you go.

All right, it came to $70 a person. Okay. When do you need that money by? Do I? Not needed, but at the table. By the time I'm finished my coffee, what are you talking about? I needed it before we fucking leave.

No. At the table. At the table, I would do it. If somebody put it on their card, I would pull out my phone and go. Here. I'm notoriously bad at those things because I've never had money.

So I would always be like, I'll get you tomorrow, I'll get you when I get home. I always try to kick the can down the road a little bit because I need a little fucking breathing room. I need after dinner, drink money. See, tomorrow I know you got no money because there's no reason why

you can't do it right then and there. The royal you. Sure. But there's also the thing of like, that's a bit tacky of like. No, you don't ask. Yeah, I know, I'm just saying. But I'm saying if you, if, if, if,

but there's also the, the, the position of it, of like, if, if you're upset that, if you're upset that I didn't pull my phone out and send it to you immediately while we're sitting there digesting, having a fucking nice cup of coffee, that's a little tacky on your part. I don't think so. Don't make the offer then go, let's split it.

You can't be like, Hey, run my car down the fucking, give me the money right now. Timo, what do you think? If you're Venmo requesting. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nobody. Listen, I have an uncouth fucking bonehead. Never would I say, unless you owed me 12 grand, I would never send a Venmo request.

Yeah, I couldn't, I couldn't send a Venmo request. That's just me though. And also I'm horrible with money, but. Somebody might have asked me to do it, which was weird. I don't know if I did it. Maybe like a book or a promoter. I'll do that now.

So if it's somebody like send me the request, you know, I have maybe done that or I'll tell people to send me the request. Yeah. So I can find, that way it's easier. I know I'm sending it to the right person. 24 hours you have. 24 hours.

24 hours. 24 hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, I don't see why that's not something that can't be done at the table. If, because you're. Because then what, hold on, then what benefit are my, not benefit, but like,

why don't we just split it then? See what I'm saying? If you went into the meal preparing to. If it's a convenience thing of like, oh here I got it. But everybody has their phones on them at all times. I know, I also have my credit card on me at all times. Right. Yeah, so.

You may. The only reason you would, one person would be doing it. To make it easy for the server. That's what you're doing it for. Yeah, but it's also like a vibe thing. I'm like, all right, here I got it. Don't, don't sweat it. The conversation's still going on.

You're hanging. Uh-huh. You know, that's the way I see it. All right. I'm like, hey, boom. You got 24 hours. You have to 24 hours. I know that I would, I wouldn't say anything.

I would say. But I would, I'd be judging. We'll see that's on you. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's on you. Yeah, but then you can't go like, oh, I got it. And then just start immediately, fucking hit a clock and start judging people

on how quick they fucking pay you back. That's what a psychopath does. Well, it should be done out of generosity of like, hey, let's not fucking fuck up the vibe here. I got it. There you go. Let's keep hanging and talking. Otherwise, everybody just go get your card out

and fucking split it. You're saving, if it's a two cards, if it's a couple, two couples, you're saving the, you're saving the waitress, the waiter, the waitress, five seconds. Okay. I mean, yeah, it's different if it's like 17 people. I would say more than not,

the people that don't do it that night or the next morning are the dirtbags of the squad. Would you agree with me on that? I don't necessarily. Have you ever not sent it? No. I've definitely kicked down the road a while. What's a while?

A week? I don't know. I don't know. Two, two Christmases. I'm gonna get you, buddy. I genuinely don't know. But there's, that's also, I don't like that, that you pay and then you start judging

how trashy people are. No, that's trashy. It should be done out of the generosity of your heart. Otherwise, let's fucking split it. And then you're putting yourself in a position of power. Yeah, I thought that was the whole point of this. Of what, life? Yeah.

No, what do you mean? To have good times. Plus, I get extra bites of the dessert. Yeah, see, then you're, you try to be. I'm the only one that's allowed to use a table spoon for desserts. And don't think I haven't seen you this last road trip really fucking nudging me

out of the way to pay and look like the cool guy. Of course. Yeah, that's. I got that platinum card. Yeah. It's all coming from the same spot. I know. Oh, oh, hard feelings.

We're going to save it. Oh, buddy. Save it. I got a fucking bullseye. I got a bullet with your name on it. Are you kidding me? What? I know what you're going to start dabbling into.

Okay. Well, save it. Yeah, we're going to see you in about 20 minutes. Also, we were just kind of talking about this from Harley Dallas Hutton, first time writer and $10 homie, which is the correct way to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Peanut butter on both sides or one side of the bread.

It's one in one, I would presume. I'm a peanut butter man straight up. Stop. Slow down. One of the greatest questions I've ever asked. It's good. I love it. Now.

It's got to be one in one. What are we doing here? Maybe throw a little J in there for Jeff. Yeah. Or AYG. Number one, you start with fresh bread. You could do whole wheat or you could do white. Yeah, who's not using fresh bread

for a fucking peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Patty Foley from 84 to 97. Cutting the fucking mold off the corner. That's who. Peanut butter soft because it's in the cabinet, right, T-bone? That's correct. Right. We learned that the hard way at the Foley household.

Just ripping through fucking shrubs. About 10 years of that. That's crazy. Why wouldn't you make the exact decision to go, Ma, we're not doing this? I didn't know. I didn't know that that's why it was hard. That's how stupid we were.

Having gone over someone else's house and been like, I never. Why aren't there holes in your peanut butter and jelly sandwiches? This is crazy. I never put two and two together. I swear to God. We didn't start taking it out of the fridge until I was

probably in high school. Had everything, the jelly in there, fucking butter and shit in it, crumbs. Yeah, it was wild. But yes, room temperature peanut butter, one side, OK? Then you take the knife to the other piece of bread. Clean it. Clean it.

Then you go into the jelly and put the jelly on that side. Close it up. Now, do you cut it in half? Never. Back in the day, you did. I don't know if I was making it. Really? My mom wouldn't cut it.

I think my stepmom used to cut them. Stepmom used to cut them. Mom never did. Always cut it. Diagonal, if you could. That was fancy. Yeah, right. What, are you the fucking Rockefellers cutting their

sandwiches diagonal? That's fucking wild. I know, ma'am. My mom never did it. Didn't cost any money, but still was what rich people did. Yeah. For servants. You look like Jeffery from fucking Fresh Prince did.

The sandwich looked more salt on the earth if you cut it straight across. Yeah, it looks way smaller, too. So where the fuck, where'd the other half go? What's going on? This thing was fucking normal size a minute ago. Would you have your mom cut your crust off, Kip? I can see you doing that till about 17, 18.

You're nuts. Never. Love the crust. Crust is big, big crust guy. Get rid of that shit. You didn't like the crust? Not when I was a kid. What?

I might as well have been fucking. You're going to sit here and judge me? You were a no-crust sandwich? That might as well have been a cigar wrapper when I was a kid. You're crazy. Hey, honey, do me a favor. I want you to take this plate, run back to the kitchen, get this bullshit off, and bring this back to me, OK?

I'm never going to look at you this way. You've admitted a lot of things. That's why. I didn't like the crust when I was a little kid. It was too. Pussy, pussy, pussy. It was too dark. Yeah.

It was burnt. I didn't like it. I learned to love it. I love it now. I'm all crust. I've seen your underwear. No. You're going to sit here.

I want to open a restaurant called Just Crust, where all we serve is crust. You're going to sit here and judge me? I'll do the two ends. What are you talking about? You've lost all street cred. I'll do the two ends right now. You've lost all street cred.

Not having your fucking mom cut off the crust for your bitch ass. That's wild. You little fucking pussy running around with stains in your underroost. I think my father would have given me that exact same speech one time. Yeah, you deserved it, too.

How old? When did I start fucking with crust? That's a shame, man. Preteen? I would say up until 10, 11. That's like an eight-year-old still drinking their mom's boob milk. Yeah, I was smoking cigs at that age, dude.

And you were afraid of crust? That's crazy. And you weren't smoking cigs at 10. 11? Nah. Yeah, it was. Whatever. Secondhand, but still.

How about the Giroz? I'd box it. Casual dining joint. Yeah, wow. Yeah, I didn't like the crust. That's some real push yet. And I always wanted strawberry jelly. Never got strawberry.

My cousin's strawberry. Everybody had strawberry. We were fucking grape jelly, not even grape jam. Big strawberry jam guy. Every once in a while, you'd have an orange marmalade in there for the wet and woolly or the apple. What's that, a sex party, the wet and woolly? I told you about that.

Wet and woolly. It's a trashy, I don't know what you're saying. Wet and woolly. Wet and woolly. Wet and woolly. It's a dip. It's a party dip. It's apple marmalade or orange marmalade and horseradish.

And you put that over a brick of cream cheese and dip wheat thins or Ritz crackers in it. Top shelf. I know that. Sweet, spicy. I don't know what it is. It's called wet and woolly. Pop and molly.

What are you doing? Yeah, wet and woolly. That and the crab one we used to do, too. What's the crab one? You get a can of crab meat, like the real crab meat. The good stuff. Jesus. And you mix that with crab meat.

You mix that with cocktails. What, are you a longshoreman? Can't get a can of crab meat. They so good. Get some bread, not to stop with the mold on it. They so good crab meat in cans. For dips and things. Who's they, the government?

A bumblebee, I don't know. Who's ever pulling the strings. Got the chicken in a can, though. Got me through college. Chicken in a cans, all right. It ain't too shabby. I almost prefer it over tuna. They would cut, oh, I mean, yeah, I don't fuck with tuna.

But the smell alone, I would have to take in the trash out of this little kid and there'd be a can of tuna and the recyclables make me want to puke. Stuff, dude, got me bears on your nose. I'll be like, clean out the recyclable. I don't do that. Oh, dude, tuna will still get me.

If I. I can't. Oh, man, it might as well be like mustard gas, dude. That's just hung around, too. Canned dog food did that to me when I was getting to fuck, dude, holy shit. I never understood canned dog food. I got some of my sweater. We were always dry.

You got some of my sweater. I did. It'll be Christmas. It smelled for about six months. I had my mom wash it like 1,000 times. But anyway, you get a can of crab meat. You mix it with cocktail sauce and you pour that over a brick of cream cheese.

Dip your. OK. Yeah. Shout out to my cousin. Cousin's Christmas party. Oh, we can't really get after it. All right, this one's for me in first time long time. Do you have any loose teeth as an adult?

No, I got them all knocked out. That's bad. If you got if you got a if you got a wobbly incisor, that is a tough look. I had it for a while. Things stunk. Really? I haven't too.

Yeah, don't you remember? I remember a bit. I know it was loose. No, but for it was it was they were loose. The one was loose for like two months. And I would play with it and suck on it and stuff like that. Shuck on it. You're a fucking weird dude.

I remember smelling it when they pulled it out. Oh, damn. Did you ever catch one of those food bowls? That's a little like it's like a piece of food. Yeah. Like it's stuck like in your tonsil stones. It's like maybe it's like it's food. It smells like shit.

Oh, yeah. Proper. I thought I was dying, dude. I was in like fifth grade or something. I was fascinated with them when I was a kid. I'm like, what? They coughed and I was like, what the fuck is that? You're getting your finger in and it's not that bad when

it's solid. Uh-huh. Once you smush it, it smells like straight poop. I almost told my dad, I was like, dude, I think I'm dying. Like what did that just came out of me? I'm like, that ain't good. Hachimachi. Yeah, shout out to a tonsil stone.

This one's the jerk store. Ever flip one sig upside down in a fresh pack of burnies and call it your lucky sig? No, but people did that all the time. That was usually a pretty trashy girl thing. Yeah, girls, yeah, definitely did that. That and people were scared of white lighters. No, I'll still not really fuck with a white lighter.

I wouldn't take one on a plane. What are you bringing a lighter on a plane? Oh, I mean, I used to catch fucking heaters, heavy bike. You don't remember smoking them on a plane? Not smoking on a plane? OK. You don't remember? I was going to say, how'd you start smoking?

Right after my mouth started cutting the crust off my fucking sandwiches. I don't think that's a non-manly thing. I was a little kid. You weren't eating crust the whole time. There's no way. Yeah, well, I never remember the crust being cut off. And what about you, tippy toes?

Tippy toes. Yeah, look at it. Look at you trying to spin this thing. Yeah, I bet you Toby did it. Absolutely not. Never. No. I'm going to ask your mom.

That's some wack-ass shit. Catch you in a lie. All right. Would you have toast when you were a kid? Yes. Ride toast and start eating till later in a game. I thought that was like fucking European or something. When my dad moved out, he started keeping ride toast.

And I was like, whoa, I don't think so. Big fan of ride. No, I get that. Never cut the crust off that. No, never. No, loved it. Shout out to RideBreadsR. Dude, RideBread at a diner, you go out to breakfast,

get RideBread at a diner. It's the best at home toasted, because you can really control it. You got to get that golden brown crispy. But you know what I'm not a big fan of? And I was thinking about this the other day for some reason is the patty melt. The patty melt can kick rocks. If you're not familiar with the patty melt,

the patty melt is a burger that has cheese on it, caramelized onions, and it's done on RideBread, like a grilled cheese. Toby? Terrible. Terrible. Absolute dog shit. They suck.

I've never had a fucking good one, and I've been suckered into buying them many times. I just keep going back. But they always stink. Sounds great. Sounds like it'd be good. You'd think it would be. Yeah, in the dust bowl.

Yeah. I don't know. I'm in. I think I did flip a sig every night. There might have been a summer when I was doing it. Because it's like, I've bet OCD is like, once it's in your. Dave Matthews phase? No, never.

Once it's in your head, you're like, I can't not do it. If I think about it, you know what I mean? Every pack of Marlboro 27s, as a lucky sig. Sure. Yeah. Let me be balling them off your buddy. I think Pat used to do it a lot.

Don't take my lucky one. Yeah. Now you only got to win an F. Yeah. No. No. Not for me. Trash.

All right, let's see here. Well, this one we did, we talked about right, but this is from, I just want to give a shout out, this is from Peppers. He said, for our next Patreon goal, we should do a full on storage war. And that's what we're doing. Well, what if we do, you buy one, I buy one,

and then whoever gets the most money out of it or something. That might be pretty crazy. Yeah. Let us rip off storage wars. No, but I thought we should go buy one, or we should just buy one together. At the very least, we got to go drive prices sky high. I like the competition.

But how do we value what things are worth? You'd have to sell it, then that's a lot of work. Listing shit on eBay and everything. On the show, they're so full of shit. Like, oh, that's 50 here, 20. Get the fuck out of here. Nobody's paying fucking 50 bucks or fucking pool balls or you're missing the nine ball.

Get out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're so full of shit. That show was good in the early season, though. Year? Yeah. What are you going to do with that shit? Throw it out after we get it? I don't know.

I guess lock it up, never pay the bill, and just have them resell it at some point. Come back again, low ball them. What if we find something? That's, I mean, this is all I've ever wanted to do. I told you, I've, That's what you were going to do. I kicked the tires on them a little bit.

Really? I used to work right next to one, an office that I worked at. I don't think you told me this. Yeah, I have. I was right next to one and they would be there and I'd be like, you know, I didn't have any shit.

If I had some scratch hole, I'd fucking toss my hat. No, right? Probably I would imagine his like big win would be like an original Star Wars figurine. No, dickhead fucking two million. Gold bars or something, what the fuck are you talking about? Buy my own toys. Yeah, DB Koop.

Where are you at? I'm looking for the necklace that old broad hand in the Titanic, the tune of the sea or whatever it was. Get my hands on that thing. Opal's diamonds. That's what I'm all about. I just want some Alex Thomas, $10, hey me.

Do you still pop the safeties off a big lighter? That's a bad look. They don't really have them anymore. It's the metal thing. It's the metal thing. I don't know if you can get that off. The crack headlighters don't have that. Isn't it, is that what you call them, right?

They're called the crack headlighters. That's just they're synonymously known as crack headlighters. Anything that's not a big. They're shitty ones. Yeah. They're like, they used to be at Parker or whatever, you know, 50 cents. Those you just ripped the thing off.

The clear one. Torch them, fucking lift it up, turn that wheel. Get in the pipe there. Then you would get hit, you would rig them. That's what we call rigging the lighter. You would rig it so much that it would explode, would hit its, it would like release too much gas or something and it would fucking explode in your hand.

I never had that. I had the long flame though, that would get you. Yeah. But you didn't realize that. You got to hit a fucking barrier. Take the eyebrows off, yeah. As you're walking into a sorority house, looking like a bozo, missing an eyebrow.

What's up? What's your major? Your chick's got ointment. Yeah, where's your NeoSporum at? Sporum? Big NeoSporum house. What are you saying? NeoSporum.

That's not what it is. Yes it is. Sporin. NeoSporin. All right, NeoSporin. We call it NeoSporum. Also too. Sounds like a kid.

I don't know if we discussed this, but my mom reinvigorated it with me. What do you call the thing that you kill flies with? A fly swatter. That's not what you call it. No, we called it a fly swatter. I don't know why, that's what we called it. A fly swatter.

A fly swatter. Is that like a fun bit? No, that's what I thought it was called for a long, long time. My mom called it a fly swatter two weekends ago when I saw them, or three weekends ago when I saw them. I don't even know how to respond to that.

I know, it's crazy. Fly swatter. Get the fly swatter. That sounds German. I know. It's crazy. Fly swasser. Yeah, it's absolute trash.

Also, how many flies you got? Who's, that's a product of the 80s and 90s. You shouldn't still have that many flies in your home. There was a couple of flies in the house last time I was there. I don't think we've ever owned a fly swatter. Down assure you would. No, we always had one.

Those green heads would come in. You don't always want it? The salt gun? No, those things are nasty. Pat had one. How are those legal? What? I mean, you're knocking everything off the table

with that. What do you mean? With those things. I don't know what, I think, I don't think we're on the same page. It sprays, it sprays. It's not just going to hit the fly, it's going to smash a window or something.

It's not coming out that quick. The one guy did it and it broke skin. Broke skin on the guy. That's not going to break a window. I don't know. Seem pretty dicey. What is going to say the electric bugs? I don't believe any of this.

The electric bug zapper. Oh, yes. Man. We stayed at a cabin that had one one time. Catch a big one of those. Families that had those was pure garbage. Yeah, you shouldn't have that many bugs. If you live in a country or whatever,

that's one thing, you have it on the porch, whatever, that's something. But you shouldn't have that many bugs in the house. Unless it's a regional. You don't have those things in the house. Around the house, there's something. You're not keeping up on a property or something. Have you got an electric bug zapper in the kitchen?

I think he did in Waterboy. That's a tough look. But for a while in the 90s, and this worked like a charm, everybody had this thing in the backyard that collect beetles. Oh, the bags. Dude.

Yeah, they would get a fucking heavy bike. Dude. That was like a fucking Denzel movie. I don't know what. How did they get in? There gotta be some oil in the bag or something. It worked so fucking good. But why was that a problem?

That was all you getting. I don't know. Nobody has those now, those beetle bags? No, but those beetles are around. We always find them in the pool. I take them out and let them drown. But they're not a problem. They seem to be a problem if you were catching them

They were back in the day. I think they had their moment. They were the lantern fly of the 90s. But you know what? When I feel bad for the aggression that I put towards those beetles, because they never did anything. They don't bite.

They had to do something, though. No, they don't bite. I didn't like them. They would die to be all crusty. Yeah, they scared the shit out of you. The exoskeleton on them, John. No, I don't think so. They were scary, but they don't do anything.

I save them now in the pool. Yeah, hitting the lightning bugs with a whiffle ball bat was one of my all-time favorite things. Wow, that's pretty crazy. Never killed lightning bugs. Really? No, my cousin used to make net jewelry out of them, though. What?

Yeah, I was pretty fucked up. Net jewelry? Made jewelry out of them. Should get a piece of grass. Oh, sure. And like, you know, rip off the butt and put it around. Yeah, you smush it. You like put it under your eyes and stuff.

I just thought it was inhumane. I love lightning bugs. Lightning bugs and dragonflies are my two favorites. Dragonflies. Love a dragonfly. I don't know if I ever told you the story. We were staying in a motel in North Wildwood. My mom wasn't there.

It was me, my aunt. My mom was probably working on the weekend and sent me down with my aunt. We were staying in, I think she had a hotel for the month. Like one of those motels, you can rent for the month of the season. Yikes. Well, she had, it was great.

You'd sit out on that balcony. You know, there's like real, like you're just sitting next to your door and it's like the window and then another door and every building, every unit had a chair out front. Sit on that, go swim in there. I fucking loved it. But my cousin was staying in there as well.

And if I was probably 10, she was maybe 20, something like that. 18, 19. I'm listening. And she had a boy, she was dating a guy. So he was there in the kitchen. There was like 10 of us in this fucking thing. Yeah, we were real fucking derpy. You're staying with your aunt.

Her daughter and her boyfriends there. Yeah, I guess. Yikes. Or maybe, or they might have had their own and whatever. I forget the, I forget the logistics of it. I just remember being in a motel with this dude who I didn't. I think blocked it out. Is this correct there?

And a drag, he went into the, he went into the kitchen and a dragonfly fucking was in there and he fucking panned, it scared the shit. Dude, he jumped out the second story window of the kitchen. And I was like, dude, I watched him go out the window. That's how afraid of the, he like flew out of the sink or something. He shit.

And I'm like, what the fuck? And I got to be like, fucking Steve, just fuck. He came back up to the front door. I was like, what the fuck? I've never, that was the first time I saw anybody proper panicked. Like proper lose their shit. Risking my body to jump out of a motel room window. I don't remember how the fuck did he not die?

I was crazy. I didn't leave a little kid in that house. He thought it was going to kill him. He rose peanut butter all over you and jumps out the window. Yeah, needless to say, that relationship did not last. Yeah, no kidding. It's a real Costanza move right there.

I love dragonflies though. And they don't sting. Dragonflies don't bite you, right? They can bite you. I don't think so. There's dragon in the name. I feel like I've made that joke before. Give that a goog.

All right, this one's from Julian. Is it garbage if you consider Chipotle a healthy food option? No, I don't see anything wrong with that. If you don't get the rice, right? Fellas? I wouldn't say. If you don't get the rice, the cheese and the sour cream. But then what do you do up there?

What do you hear? The bowls are a... Does anybody get anything other than a bowl there? The burrito. The burrito. It gets the tacos, right? I've seen people get the tacos. Ew.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if I'd be friends with somebody that got tacos. It's gotta be the same. It's the same shit. I know, but it's weird. That's a bowl spot. Sure.

Or a burrito. I would do. I've done a lot of burritos from there. I think it tends to be... It's not a healthy option. I think it would be a healthier option than other things I would get. I would put it that way.

Does that make sense? Sure. I would argue a burrito bowl is a little bit better. I always thought it was. It's also coming from two fat pieces of shit, so clearly we don't know what the fuck we're talking about. I always thought it was a healthier option. Healthier is not healthy, though, just in comparison.

Sure. Right? A cheesesteak is healthier than a cheesesteak in fries. It doesn't mean it's fucking healthy. Yeah, I mean. But fantastic nonetheless. Shout out to a Chipotle burrito. Let's see here.

This one's from Nathan. What up? That was the first time long time. $10 scented trash bag here. I'll give you that. My question is, have you ever used chopstick for non-Asian cuisine? Because you ran out of clean silverware in the house.

Can't say I have. No. I have 100% dipped chicken nuggets into honey mustard utilizing chopsticks. Really? That makes sense, though. And they also sell these little, they look like chopsticks, but you put them on your fingers.

You put, they have two little hooks for like Cheetos and popcorn and stuff like that. So you don't get that stuff all over your fingers. Really? What I just learned about chopstick is there's chopstick etiquette I didn't know was a thing. Oh, yeah. You're not supposed to point at stuff.

Nope. You're not supposed to talk, and you're not supposed to hand people stuff with your chopsticks. I've been breaking all the rules my whole life. Yeah. You're not supposed to stick it in the bowl, either. That's a big no-no.

It's sticking in the bowl. Like say you have like a bowl of like poke or something like that. You're not supposed to like, like that. You're not supposed to like jam it in like that. And like pull something out? No, just like, like if you- They're rested in there.

Yes. Yeah, there's resting. There should be like, doesn't it come with, so I just learned this, the disposable chopsticks, like the wooden johns, they have that thing on the butt of them, that breaks off and that acts as a resting thing. So that's where you should rest them.

Does that make sense? There's like a little wooden nub when you break it off. Looks like the top of like a jewel pod kind of. That is a rest. So you don't rest it in the bowl or on the plate or whatever. I haven't ever seen that. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure you have. I've seen the wooden ones where they're connected

and you snap them like a wishbone. Yeah. At that, there's like a little nub, a little wooden nub on them. Huh. We would get ran out of Tokyo so fast. Yeah. I've been asking for spoons and forks.

And it's bad. I don't know how to use them. I can like kind of get by. I love them. But not, I'm just, the first time I used one was probably like, I'm not even fucking around. Like when I met my wife was the first time I used one. I was trying not to be embarrassed.

I'm getting pretty good. Yeah. Big Korean barbecue guy. Huge, fucking God, so good. Yeah. It's so good. I don't know. It's just a convenience thing to me.

And I know it's uncultured and everything, but I'm like, just give me a fork. What are we doing here? A bowl of ramen with a fork is pretty banging though. Cause you really get the noodles. That's what I'm saying. Why am I fucking eating like a bird over here? Let's go.

You don't really get the noodles. Give me a back-o, baby. Let me fucking move some earth with that thing. You really get the noodles. Like eating spaghetti. Mm-hmm. Yeah. All right.

Let's do a couple of Moe here. This is from Lady Boner for T-boner. You ever tear off the first few pieces of toilet paper at a public restroom because it's quote, unquote, contaminated? What a fantastic question from probably the greatest listener we've ever had. She's a great looking guy.

I see what she's saying. I do it all the time. If I'm using it to put on my face, like if I have to blow my nose or something. Okay. Yeah, I'll. I do it regardless. I might even use that to clean,

but I usually just a couple pieces in the bowl and then I start my process. Really? Yeah. Because if those are contaminated, I don't know what. I mean, theoretically everything in that stall has poop particles on it.

Sure, I'm just trying to limit the hemorrhaging. You know what I mean? Get through your day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. If they made a product like Night Vision Goggles that would show you all of the germs, would you use them? They have that.

It's a black light. Absolutely not. Not everything shows up on a black light, but absolutely not. That's, I'd have to fucking jump off a bridge. I wouldn't be able to do it. It's already, I already think it's bad. I wouldn't be able.

It is bad. It's everywhere. I know. That's why I don't worry about the toilet paper on the seat or anything like that. It's all, it's everywhere. And you're also a fucking dirt bag. We're all one thing.

You think that that. We are not the same. You think there's, okay? We are not the same. You think there's air between us. It's, so it's molecules and atoms and skin cells and it's ether. We're all, we're all one thing.

It's all everywhere. I don't even know what you're talking about. I don't think you know what you're talking about. Get some neosporum for this guy. Fucking bozo. We just had to teach you how fucking a hot spot on a phone works. I'm not listening to you about fucking particles

and atoms. Please take these chopsticks. Use them good. You ain't got fucking nose hair out of you. Well, ain't that good. You're using me to patty melt next time. Boo, patty melts stink. All right, let's see here.

This one's from Frisbee. Okay. All right. Is it garbage have two baby teeth in your mid 30s? What the fuck? That's, that's like, that's crazy. That's not good. How's that possible?

That's like next to power plant type stuff. Yeah, didn't get enough milk when you were a kid. Where are they? I have so many follow up questions that I also don't want to know the answer to. I know a kid that his parents would give him milk when he went to bed and it fucked his teeth up. What do you mean?

They would give him a bottle of actual milk when he went to bed. And that does something to the kid's teeth when you're a baby or something like that. I don't know. His were all jacked up. Like, like rotted out of his mouth, his baby teeth. Yeah.

That's not. I'm telling you. Milk. T-bone, give it a goog. Babies with milk. Going to bed with a bottle, something like that. Milk on their teeth. That's like also not brushing your teeth though.

Kids drink milk all the time when they go to bed. All they get is milk, go to bed. That's a thing. Damn, all types of milk can cause cavities if they're inappropriately consumed. If a baby, for example, cavities on the upper front teeth can develop if a baby with teeth is put to bed at night with a bottle of milk.

You can't win, buddy. You're telling, yeah, but they also have to not be brushing your teeth or something. Doesn't say anything about that. How many kids drink milk when they go to bed? There's gotta be a lot of kids. The photo is in black and white, so I see this is the 1920s problem.

This is before fucking Chris was banging. What are you talking about? Cold gay, arm and hammer. Yeah, maybe back in your, you know. You need fluoride. Don't mention, get that, it's the Garmin. Yeah, I mean, it might not be good for it, but it's also like, don't all kids drink milk and bottle?

That's what goes in bottles is his milk. Not women's milk, cow milk. Not talking about lady milk. Yeah, but no, I think a lot of people still drink cow milk. Not in bottles. A lot of kids, I would argue. That's formula, you idiot.

What are you talking about? They're not giving kids milk and a bottle. Yeah, babies drink formula. Yeah. How old was this kid? I don't know. Yeah, it was baby tea. So you know, I mean,

it's not like he was a toddler. You wouldn't know him. Maybe he was a toddler. They were giving him a bottle of milk to go to sleep at night and taking it with them. But also as a toddler, you wouldn't go, I got this guy's teeth are all fucked up. You're a toddler.

I would be aware of it. I remember it was a thing. I'm telling you, man. Okay. T-bone just backed me up and so did Google. Yeah, with science from before 1922. I don't know. How far did you have to scroll down?

Well, about 1918. I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just saying, I feel like that would be a way bigger. I feel like a lot of kids drink milk. No, am I wrong on that? I don't think you're supposed to give kids milk when they go to bed. Cow's milk.

Okay. I'm not talking about formula. Yeah, but I'm, okay. I don't know, I guess in my head, I thought this kid was like eight or something like that. Why would he have a bottle? That's another situation. I don't know what was it.

Yeah, no, for sure. Did you have your wisdom teeth out? No, I think they're bad too. Yeah, mine are creeping. I feel them. I've felt them for years. I got one back here that comes in every once in a while. It hurts like a motherfucker.

This is from John Wilkes Booth. Never had one red. Are you garbage? If you have to wipe your feet before you put your socks on because there's a 100% chance the bottoms are covered in crumbs. Found myself doing that today actually.

You gotta give it like a quick little whatever's on there. I got the dog hairs tough though. You can keep the floors clean. Mm-hmm. I've had a bunch of shit on my socks that I've had to wake them off before I put them in my shoes. They're covered in fucking cat hair and shit like that.

Yeah, you gotta give them a quick like fucking. Yeah. Quick little tussle, how you doing? Get the stuff off. Yeah, when you walk around your house barefoot and you look at your feet and they're like dark on the bottom, that's a tough look.

Get the shwiffer, will you? I know, but it's the problem is it doesn't have to visually look bad for you to be like, oh shit, for that to happen at the same time. So it's like, if you're like, oh yeah, it's clean and you're like, oh, it is, it's not. Yeah, it looks like you were walking through fucking parking lot at a fish concert.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Walking around Woodstock all zoomed out. But we gotta wrap her up here, gang. Gang, we love you to death. Come see us at the old live shows there. Come out, grab the squad, come and see us. Check out the Patreon, we love you and we'll see you next week.

Peace. Peace.