Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Christina P!

Episode Date: February 17, 2025

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Christina P! You know Christina Pazsitzky from stand up comedy, Your Mom's House w/ Tom Segura, the Joe Rogan Experience, Kill Tony, TigerBelly, Where My Mom's At?, The Tim Dillon Show, 2 Bears 1 Cave, First Date with Lauren Compton and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Tour Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Tushy: 10% off your first bidet order at https://HelloTUSHY.com with promo code GARBAGE Lucy Goods: http://lucy.co/garbage Pretty Litter: Go to https://PrettyLitter.com/garbage to save twenty percent on your FIRST order and get a free cat toy. Mando: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code GARBAGE at https://shopmando.com! Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can't be you see this we got this Route 66 special dropping. You ain't lying big man we got the live shows from every city on the tour plus the boys on the bus seeing this great country of ours it's dropping February 25th on our YouTube page. Make sure you tune into the live premiere. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U Garbage. It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that out to go to be classy Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash trash trash trash. I'm your host. I totally coming at you on a beautiful day

We're down here in Tejas whoo-hoo, Texas baby, Austin D tootie South She's out doing a little speculating. Okay, I want to be a land man down here All right, Billy Bob Thornton. We're down here in Austin, Texas My coach is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of our you Garb what he is an international business Man, I'm my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan everybody. What up everybody? Thanks for tuning in as always Please make sure you review subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube and now Spotify shout out to it Yeah on Spotify the specials drop in February 25th. Make sure you subscribe to the YouTube page the whole nine yards We love you. Yeah, we love you and gang we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly and I mean

Incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time She is a very funny very successful stand-up comedian podcaster writer producer and small business And you might have seen her but not limited limited to, you got Last Comic Standing, you got Chelsea Lately. You got World's Dumbest, The Degenerate. Those are deep cuts. Lights Out with David Spade. Let's not forget 2019's Countdown. How you doing?

Oscar Snub right there. All right. Is it Cake WTF, the Comedy Store. She has not won, but two amazing specials streaming on Netflix, Mother Inferior and mom jeans. And of course, she is the co host of your mom's house and the co owner and operator of the industry Titan YMH studios. But the big question, but he's my today is she garbage? First

guest to ever come in here straight from the ER. I mean, that's a first with stitches stitches, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Christina P, everybody. Thank you. Let's go. Thank you. Talk about the duality of man. Look at that.

The rock on the finger with the ace bandage wrapped around it. I know. What happened? Well, first of all, I'm so excited to be here. Thank you. My husband has told me forever to come on the show and do it because he is sure that I will be the garbage Yes, buddy, you're gonna be up there most requested. Yes, and it's not even so the hand. Okay, so we live in Texas

There's snakes in the backyard this morning. I found a caught copperhead and I was a poisonous snake Yes, we're not talking about a gardener snake or something like that. No. And copperheads in the backyard. They're everywhere. What are you doing back there? Well, you play with the kids in the morning before school. You got to move. This is nuts. Yeah. And so crazy. They don't leave.

So what I do is I pick them up and milk them, which I learned to do in Australia when I did road rules in the 90s. Sure. And I go to I mean, you casually say that. What does that look like and what you're like? Nobody's like, oh, yeah, you're just milking copperheads that you find. That 90s. Sure. And I go to milk his. I mean, you casually say that. What does that look like and what does, you're like, nobody's like, oh yeah, you're just milking copperheads that you find. That's crazy. Yeah, so I pick it up and you get a glass

and you just, you pop it onto the edge of the glass and the venom comes out. Like Steve Irwin would do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I go to do it, I go to grab its neck because I've secured it, because you put like a rod and you secure the head. I pick it up and it got me. It got me right there.

Wait, I was told you got cut. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, this an active snake bite right now. Yeah, did you get anti venom or whatever? Yes. And it's gonna make me a little sleepy. So if I drift off, wait, you're fucking with this, right? You sprained your hand at the gym. Of course, I'm fucking Jesus Christ You gotta be kidding I believe that

There are snakes and spiders down here. That's why you'll never find my fat ass limit Okay, so my kids yoga No, it's kind of a garbagey garbagey thing think so okay? My two sons play with knives all the time What are they in the circus? What I mean aren't they like eight and five? That's I mean they're nine and six I was way of playing with knives and last night my older boy was cutting some box open with a knife I was like give that to me Alice And I go to grab the knife and he just jerks it back and then it just slices my hand open

So instead of getting bit by a cottonmouth, you were stabbed by your son. I don't know what's worse He got to a knife fight with a night you were trying to disarm a nine-year-old Wait, hold on a second. Yeah, they like to play with knives, but you don't. Yeah. Do you buy them knives or are they like kitchen knives? I don't know what these people are doing. Wait, you just walk in and catch them. What are you doing?

So we have knives in our kitchen, like cutting, normal cutting. Like steak knives. Yeah. It's like actually there are like the Cutco ones, the ones that they sell door to door, which I love. The pyramid scheme ones. Those are the best. That was one of that was one of the first day why do you questions? Have you

ever tried to sell cutco knives, which a lot of people have? No, but I was this close to selling Tupperware. Oh, because I went to a Tupperware party. And I was like, this stuff's really good. What year practically sells itself. Maybe like, oh, too. When I remember when Avon was banging, of course, Avon skin So soft number skin so soft that shit kept everything your mom sell a she didn't but she was a big purchaser of skin So soft used as an insect bug spray. We used to use it as bug spray in Philadelphia for some reason

It had work to it. I don't know what it was mosquitoes hated it Wasn't good. No, nothing was good in the 80s. No, or the 90s. Okay, so go ahead. Okay, so anyway, just, you know, just knives and they this is last night. This is last night. Ellis, can you open up this Amazon box? Okay, mom, I'll do it. And instead of grabbing scissors wherever he just grabs a kitchen knife. And I'm like, No, no, no, not that one, bro. And I go to grab it. And he, you know, just wants a knife. And and how bad of a slice because you just

Got out of the ER right now, so you wrote it out for the night Man you are trash you got cash. What are you doing? See this is when I was I want to talk to you guys about there's two types of trash These problems are above our pay grade I think there's like I got an adderall upstairs if you want it. That's the best we could do for you. There's like American trash. I feel I feel like this is date this is because this is in our typical set.

I feel like we're sitting down with a murderer. It's like we're over here. She's over there with an active wound and we're like, so where was the knife when you entered the room? Christina, what are you doing here? Listen, I'm I'm Euro trash. Yes, which we want to get into. But this is different because in my mind, if I have cuts and it's bleeding all night,

which it was bleeding all night. Bleeding all night. All night. It was red and wet and I was like, I can wait. I got to go to this podcast tomorrow. You guys, I've been looking forward to it. I literally was like, I I just waiting till after the What's he say? What does Tom say? He's not home. He's working. He's in Boston

Cuz he would have been go to the ER right now. I would assume that's what normal normal people would have done who have self-care Or I like I don't have that instead kids say sorry. He know he's devastated. He was getting his alibi straight Borough night, I don't know what she's talking about. You keep your fucking mouth shut. Snitches get stitches, ma. He flips his blade. For sure, yeah. So yeah, so I tough it out. Because in my mind, this is what you do. I numb crybaby pussies go to hospital.

I can wait and I'll wait and see. Wrap it up? I wrapped it up. What is your home method of wrapping something up? I'm assuming it's some type of paper towel hand towel There's some adhesive involved Yeah, I just squirted some neosporin on it creates like a gel Sure, and then I just put like four band-aids like regular size

Uh-huh, and then they just bled through like I will try to get creative with the band-aids those never when you're doing the four one way You know you need medical attention, that's what you need not more band It's never more band-aids you got to the ER who put these six Garfield band-aids on you But that's my stupid my stupid pull-up brain is like I'll just put on like six band-aids. I'll be fine You know what you need it was a butterfly Butterflies there every day your mom would break out a butterfly on you She was like a fucking cardiac surgeon doing that shit. No, we didn't have that bad day. Just like that's what I'm telling you Did you have a health insurance growing up?

I get I'm such a good question. Yeah, I've never. In 400 episodes, I've never had to ask it, but I feel like it. You have insurance now. Let's start there. Now I have money. So yeah. But you are in a fake name. But like, do you even remember going to the dentist for like preventative? Yes. No, no no we were we were they were it was like a collision it was like we got a car you had to go they

got your fucking teeth cleaned every year with the bubblegum fluoride you was feeling cav and we were mainly a cavity I remember having so many cavities one time my mom yelled They're going to take you away. They're taking you away for bad teeth. Where will they take you? That's a nice part of town. I don't know. The dentist's house. I don't do my teeth were falling out of my head. It was bad. That's what I think, too.

Like, I don't remember because I take my kids preventively and now they put stuff in there so that they don't get more cavity. Like, there's all these things and I'm like fluoride. Right. Yeah, like we didn't do that until you knocked a tooth out. Really and I'm fluoride. Right? Yeah. We didn't do that. And you knocked a tooth out. Really? Oh my god. That's crazy. We're about the same age. You weren't getting the bubblegum fluoride something out of the treasure chest. I'm telling you, Euro trash. We didn't even know about this. Like, we didn't even know my parents didn't know like

what Star Wars. All right, let's let's take it. Before we go though, how many stitches do you have? Okay, so they actually didn't need to sew that you scary strips. So there's like four. Okay, there's four thing gluing it's there. They glue them together. They're gluing my skin together. And then I just keep this on and they gave you a little Nova came when they did it. Yeah, light a cane. They swear. He knows for and they gave you a little Nova came when they did it Yeah, I like it and they swear else for later to give you

couple of zany bars or something a Couple of tombstones take the edge off this close to asking and I was like I look like a junkie Yeah, you're a script for a percocet and a white claw All right, let's go back give us the origin story up the middle. Mom's dads, brothers, sisters grew up all that kind of because I saw a fact I wasn't aware of today where you were born. Okay, so this is the cool part. So parents escaped from communist Hungary in 1969. So they grow up just horrific

deprivation, the communists to go over the escape how they get out literally on foot through Yugoslavia, Yugoslavian border. He's they get caught. They get thrown back to Hungary. They get on a train. They get through. They they finally escaped to Italy and Trieste and they're in

a camp for a year like a refugee camp. I know it's a horrible. So what? It's bananas. And finally, the Catholic Church sponsors. I wouldn't send you to the dentist either. What the fuck? Your tooth hurts? Suck my day. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. So they're so tough. And then so we got we went to Canada. And then

I was born in Windsor, Ontario, so they hold on, they get to Canada, then they start a new life, they start a new life. It takes about 14 years before I come around. Okay, so they're just trying to be, you know, that my father always tells me, like, I we landed in Canada and I was blown away. I was so excited I could buy a hot dog and a Coca-Cola for five dollars. And he says, I saw a black guy with a hat with a feather and big cars.

And I knew this is where I always belong. My man. Give me high four. Okay. Good to see you. That's awesome. I talk about appreciating the small things. Yes. A fucking refugee camp in Italy. Not a fucking communist fucking the Soviet. Russian. Yes, exactly. So school, very old school, very tough. Holy very tough people who raised me

and I this is why I you know, I am I think I'm a little more obtuse to average human things. Okay, we just didn't who can't register none of that stuff. That's a registered to me. Like you should do this or that you should sure. I just don't see it cuz I'm like why you see your crybaby pussy like what just so anyway I'm born in Windsor Ontario Canada which is across from Detroit it's probably the grossest part it's it is the garbages part okay just to put it in perspective Canadians so many Canadians die every year because they get hammered

and try to swim across Lake Ontario. Really, to Detroit? Yeah, just for fun. For the good life, baby. Detroit. You can see it right there. Let's talk about refugees. What does your mom and dad do?

What did your dad do by trade? What did he do for a living? So, my God, he's so crafty. So when he was in Hungary, they forced him to go into the military, the Russians, and he learned how to fix cars and machinery. So when he came to Canada, he learned how to do forklifts. Okay, okay. And when we came to the US in 1980, when I was four, he started a

forklift business in the San Fernando Valley started a business. So he made enough money to start a small business. He did incredibly well and became like the biggest forklift business in the San Fernando Valley. What? Wait, so Ontario, you're for you moved to Cali. Correct. Okay. And my parents divorced because he was like, I made it to California time to start banging. Really? Yeah. With my Yeah, well, my mother, so my mother was schizophrenic and crazy so he was like I gotta go and

Yeah, but he loves you California girls But he always lived nearby and they split cuss so okay, so then you stayed primarily with mom primarily with mom brothers and sisters No, I told a child 12 my mother remarries to an Indian guy who's a criminal. What? What? So I should write 10 remarries an Indian guy. I've never heard that. I've never heard that my mom remarried an Indian guy. I mean, that's, that's wild. But what's exciting is that that's a whole new layer of garbage. Sure. Because he liked, for instance, he would make samosas for me. That ain't bad.

Never mind. I wish my mom remarried. I didn't have one of those till like two years ago, man. Those things are banging. They're great. Little chutney or something? Yeah. But instead of regular beef, he would

use the Taco Bell seasoning. That's probably not that bad. I mean, that's pretty good. That's all right. It's so good. That's like a cheesesteak egg roll, basically. Yeah, we could be doing more with those samosa wraps. We really could. I know.

I know. We're on the table. They really chicken samosa. Marry an Indian guy. Get this thing started. Small business. Wait, hold on. So you move four years old, you guys went to California,

your dad starts the business. How long till the business is like when you say he said he was the biggest in the area. So like we're middle class comfortable. Okay, he's not working. No, mom is working. Mommy is working as a as a account receptionist. So we're I'm living in like a primarily like a two bedroom apartment in recita, like Tarzana, the same one Brody Stevens grew up in as we always talked about

It was primarily single mothers and immigrants and like Israelis and Persians once they once they split that's where your mom went correct So what was your dad's house like it was a lot. It was better. Yeah, it was like this like no Not like this is nice. It was just a nice middle-class Kanoka Park. Okay, Valley dwelling. Okay, so he's doing well He's still taking care of you guys. He's taking care of your mom. He just wants to do his own thing. Yeah, he's involved in your life. Exactly. Gotcha. Okay. Yeah. But then I go to live with him because my mom's crazy. She's schizo and she would kick me out and go live with him. And that's when the trashy real

when you're with your dad, yo, okay. He's a single Eastern European guy. So it's paper plates plastic forks I'm eating hot dogs for dinner cupids in the valley what shout out eight one eight van I Fucking order it Eight-one-eight, I Don't know enough. I know that's not the good one. The Indian guys the Indian guys in the picture now. No, he's out again good one. The Indian guys, the Indian guys in the picture now. Now he's out again. He comes in when I'm like 13. Okay, how old are you right

now? How old are you now? This is like eight, eight, third grade, I go to live with my dad, single dad, single dad making some cash, same school, you got to change schools. Same school. Okay, so no friction there. Same school, but that's a level of like, like I, I remember watching Pippi long stocking and she cuts her spaghetti with scissors. Like I was doing that and thinking it was fun and eating Chef Boyardee out of cans. I love it. Try some like Punky Brewster running around?

Oh for sure, yeah. Yeah, shout out to Punky Brewster. Were you left to make your own food most of the like, is he coming home from the forklift factory and cooking? That ain't happening. No, I'm not cooking. And what kind of, so we're talking, Kev, let's talk about He is he coming home from the forklift factory and cooking nothing So we're talking

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And here comes the fine print gang. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every order is age verified. Warning. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. So you're just like a latchkey kid kind of. And he's got a little bit of cash. He's single, went through a lot. This is eighties. Yes. Got an accent. I would assume he's probably doing pretty well with the lady slaying pussy

Are they coming in and out like our women entering your life and cycling through that's her Yes to the point where I get it traumatized. It's we're laughing For sure traumatized you it's the worst because I I would mix up their names So I'm getting in trouble for my dad. Oh shit. He's juggling. He's got a couple of broads. Oh, same thing. Multiple. I'm calling Debbie Susan and Susan Debbie. And then who the fuck is Nancy and this is Christina. She likes hot dog. And he has as he walks

upstairs. It's yeah, it's just like a hot dog. I'm just left to raise myself really sure. But I but again, single that's I mean, that's most divorce family. That's most divorce. It is. There's food in the house. All that kind of stuff. He's rolling it didn't sound great. She's talking hot dogs and cold chef boy. Yeah, like it's like Hungarian like there's yeah, there's hot dogs in the freezer. I can eat that there Chef Boy

RD in the cans, which is great budget gourmet. I lived on the budget gourmet. What's that a brand? Oh, yeah. They were frozen. Yeah, frozen dinners. And to this day. Oh, right. So good. There was a wave. There was the hungry man, the Swansons. And then around the mid 80s, they started leaning into the healthier options. Lean cuisine. I know my way around. Pretty good.

You know your way around a lean cuisine. Lean Alfredo. I would assume Wow, that's just and I would still eat it to this day and the French bread pizza Stouffer's Stouffer's I did that about this podcast is built on Stouffer's French bread pizza Can we talk about why it's so I thought I was European the first time I had that I was like what in the world I don't have a passport how did I get this followed up with an international delight yeah that stuff that's oh you mean the coffee remember the coffee was in that tin I thought it was yeah I was fancy I you yeah you international foods

international food member the name of the waiter Jean-Luc do you remember the commercial that's pretty good yeah I don't like the way they lit those commercials back then was so so like cinematic. It was the spotlight coming down. Oh, yeah. International foods. Yeah, but that's what but I thought I was posh. I didn't know that we were garbage. I thought like we can afford budget gourmet. I can't have budgets in the name. But I love a French bread pizza. That's the

best. It's the best sweetness of the sauce. Let's get some. What are we doing? I know we had we had it up the Super Bowl. We stayed and watched the Super Bowl. I threw a couple of those in the oven and then cut them up in the fours. Why mama Celeste Supreme pizza? I felt like I was a gazillion. So you would tell him what you want it. I get it at the store you were shopping yourself no no he'd we go to the grocery store and he would just let me buy whatever the heck I want what grocery store was that Albertson's that's a that's a fair that's a good

establishment or alpha beta it doesn't exist but he dated one of the checkout girls Nancy and I'm and you can close ass if you can do it in a supermarket transaction. You can close. That's, there's 1% of guys, that's a 90 second transaction. Plus he's got you right there. Well that's... 12 boxes of sugary cereal and a thing of like...

But that's the thing, I was bait, cause people, I was cute and blonde. Cute girl, Oh look at her Yeah, what a good dad Wow this guy like takes care of his kid and like I mean in the 80s a single dad That's pretty he's got there. It's a pretty devastating her mother died. It was tragic Milk in that Back from Vietnam, it's 1987 Okay, all right, so he takes you to the store.

This is a story. I would have to assume that there is an advantage being a kid of your dad not really being aware or not giving a shit. But like I assume you were able to get whatever cereal you wanted. Anything I wanted. Really? And I could dress however I wanted wanted which nowadays they let children do Like you go pick I pick up my kid from school and like there's girls wearing ballerina Skirts whereas I did that in the 80s and I would get talking to yeah

I would dress like Madonna because we go oh I would get my clothes at the swap meet Because he loved the Valley indoor swap meet and I thought I was so cool because I could wear like my swap meet outfit and with those cool kung fu slippers. Do you remember those white shoes that the karate kid when that movie came out and they're like white cloth shoes with like the hard plastic bottoms. They're like ninja shoes. You weren't bowling shoes. The school is that what you're telling I wish you go through a wrestling shoes phase. What's the what are like wrestling wrestling shoes? No, I

could go through those. Yeah, a couple of couple a couple of that was like a little bit of a thing. They're lesbians. Yeah, I was gonna say not this kind. Kung Fu shoes. But I could I could buy whatever I want. Yeah, I could eat whatever I want. It was like, I go to bed like I don't even remember having a bedtime. I don't brush my teeth. I don't remember like kind of feral you're just doing whatever you want it 1000% was stealing I feel like you were stealing I did start

stealing. Yeah, I can set things on fire a lot. Like to burn frogs Christina? I Loved fire and my dad would go to sleep and I would just watch the fire names Dan where? His house like the fireplace Yeah, we'd fireplace and he'd go to sleep and I would just stay up and like throw shit in the fire I would have set you away if I came down in the middle of the night. You were sitting there worshiping fire. No, thank you if I came down in the middle of the night, you were sitting there worshiping fire. No, thank you. Any vacations? Would you guys go anywhere? Yes. So that's a cool part of my parents is I would say because they were Europeans that we traveled very

extensively and I really nice education like, like, I don't know that I think about it. Okay, so my dad would take me to Club Med with him. That's not that's not education and swinging. That's what that is. That's one step below Never do shots before dinner, okay He's like always eat before you drink this way you can drink without throwing up and I was like okay these broads will never know what hit them wait hold on would you yeah did you ever go back to Europe as a vacation

you later you're like as well travel with the key West cruises Martinique no so we did go to club meds and like Mexico every I go to Mexico a lot every summer with my dad For some reason I love that he was living like that yeah, we're through all that shit Think of how much he appreciated that yet tight little bathing suit bunch of hop rods down at Club Med man Harry-ass chest I assume I mean people she's like fending for so you like this dude's crushing is he's traveling. Meanwhile, she's like machine at a hotel. She has a pyromaniac problem developing Stealing she's clearly acting out The indian guy who knows where he is. Yeah, your dad took you to club med which so I did research it

It did start off as a French sex resort essentially and I didn't realize that I just thought it was like this fun wasn't a david busters I can tell you like french it was all in french and I got to hang out with other like like european yeah other fucked up kids fucked up and we'd run around the village so they call them the village and I don't know how by the grace of god like I did not get kidnapped or abducted, molested so like I don't I think I was like my mother was so vigilant about like you don't talk to anybody everybody's out to get you so I was very like I don't know and yeah sturdy you know. Well that's I mean when you have to learn to fend for yourself

it's like you grow up you have your heads on a swivel of like hypervigilance. Yes, my therapist. Did you guys have that too? It you guys as traumatized as me. Yeah. But I mean, I wasn't at Club Med with my dad. Yeah, it's more psychological. OK, yeah.

Well, it gets worse. So then he would take me to bars and nightclubs with him in the states when I'm in third grade, like on third grade. School nights. Yeah. Holy here's school. Wait, school nights. Yeah. This guy cares about American education system. Yeah, you're nuts. How were your grades? Were you a good student?

No. How can you be when Yeah, there's no home. There's no status. You know, he's not like, did you do your homework, Christina? You know what I mean? But I love to build home in one night. That's crazy. So we would go to this bar in the valley called the beef and barrel. That's a good name. I would like to spend some time at the be

where you like the bar kid where he's all Christina and they go over they go here put the give you like $2 save this for you go buy yourself candy yes you're stealing their wallet. What would a typical dinner be in a bar like that some mozzarella sticks some chicken fingers Oh and gosh yes and I think that those years really set me up to be a great like to be a stand up comedian like to enjoy that that dinginess.

Yeah, I like it's like when I walk into a dive bar and it's like, I can tell right away if the coke's good, not the drugs. Did you grow up in bars too? Grew up in hanging out in bars, eating chicken fingers at the bar, playing the photo hunt. My dad, I mean my whole family's alcoholic. So am I. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, it's just who we are.

Just Irish drunk construction workers. Yeah, I stopped drinking alcohol after I had like 60 days ago. It's horrible. But anyway the point is, okay Beef and Barrel, I have the best memories of it though because it was the 80s and the music was amazing. So everybody's like the 80s were the best and like yes they were. It was Duran Duran, it was Lionel Richie, it was Frankie Goes to Hollywood, was you know, and I'm and I have this great memory of dancing with sailors. There were sailors in their outfits In third grade third grade They had just come off whatever break and they were on the dance floor with me and they were like I'm this novelty on this little Yeah, like oh, it's fun. We're dancing. Well, you know, we're having a good time. Yeah, so fun

And at one point it's like a wedding. It was so yeah, exactly. It was moaning moaning, you know that song by Billy. I know. Yeah and sailors Yeah, they there's a thing where they go Hey motherfucker get laid get fucked like you sing it in between. I remember being like, what's this new poem? And I remember chanting it with them. Hey motherfucker get laid get fucked and I was like my life couldn't get any better the height of And then I go to school the next day I went to a nice Lutheran school and like how do you explain to other kids? That you're doing chanted with sailors. Yeah, they were home watching the a team Fucking dorks wait, so yeah, So a Christian school, private school, private school,

school uniform, the whole nine yards. Not uniform yet. That's in Catholic school. And I got kicked out of public school. I had to go to project. You get kicked out for I just didn't go. I stopped going. Who gets kicked out of public school and goes to Catholic school? That's the reverse. That's crazy. So I yeah, by ninth grade, I start to realize that like my home life is weird. That something's up like my mom's

crazy. My dad's crazy. I got this Indian stepdad. I've got three new stepsisters that are Indian and like, Oh, okay. So you got three new getting along with them at all loved them. Great. Nice. A relief. How much older are they than you are younger than you? They're about we're all I've one that's like a year older one that's five years older and one that's about four years younger. Perfect.

All right in the mix. So fun. And I love them and I'm thrilled to have a family and your mom kind of levels off a little bit. She's doing okay. It's great because now she ignores me. So now I'm free. Okay, so meaning she's her focus her. Yeah, crazy. Focus is not on you's now it's on the are you back living there? Do you move? Every year I go back and forth. I get kicked out of my mom. My mom can't take me my dad. I get annoyed with my dad. I go back to live with my mother. It's

like fucking what does the girls at divorce do that? Indian stepdad does well. He's the best. So my Indian stepdad is a criminal genius. He passed away so I can tell these stories. What? Brilliant man. So he he escaped his case. It's so also that's a book my Indians have that the mastermind criminal. That's really good. That is the name of your next special something. No one's ever said that.

Oh, why do you say that? Because the Indian guys wouldn't say my Indian stepdad. They would just be their stepdad. But I bring him in. So he's brought up in Bombay and he's poor as shit and he only wants to come to America. So he somehow gets in our US military, goes to Stuttgart to station there, finally comes to America, comes to Van Nuys, which at the time was good, it was the 70s, which is the San Juan Valley again. And basically what immigrants do, I don't know if you guys, you don't know, immigrants

are geniuses, especially if they're criminal, you figure out loopholes. You find the holes, yeah. So he was a brilliant mind at loophole findings. And he had scammed a couple ladies before he met my mother. He would marry blonde ladies, take their credit, and establish businesses, make millions and millions of dollars, not pay taxes, file bankruptcy,

and then do it again. Millions. So I went from living in a two bedroom apartment in the valley with my mom like an immigrant, whatever. And she meets this guy because she decides it's time to get to Maddie's. Where do they meet? This is the best part in her pole. So she puts an ad this is 1980. Get the fuck out of here. She puts an ad in the super villain by now. The fact you haven't turned this for evil and you live a life for comedy is crazy.

You get a murderous I should be a sociopath. Oh my god puts an ad in the paper in the Indian newspaper because she is convinced she says to me I like Indian men. They are they are tall, dark and handsome. And they are which says to me, I like Indian men. They are tall, dark, and handsome. And they are, which I'm like, I'm pretty sure that's not. Wait, there's an Indian newspaper? I said. There's an Indian newspaper in California?

Yes, because there's a lot of Indian people. Okay. And she wants Indian men, so she puts an ad, and she says, Buxom European woman seeks educated Indian man for marriage. I'm sorry. Well off basically have to be rich. Okay, sure. For marriage for marriage. They hear that. They're coming running. Yeah. So we received bags of letters. Is your mom very attractive?

She was stunning. Yeah. And I mean, huge tits, blonde hair, blue eyes. I'm listening. I was wondering what bucks a minute. blonde hair, blue eyes, like an Aryan goddess. I was wondering what Buxham meant. Oh! Ah! Ah! She is, she was stunning. Yeah.

She was a model in Hungary before she escaped. I mean, she was, she was just banging, right? So we get these bags of letters, and the one letter that catches her eye is of this guy, I won't say it, Subash. This is Indian name. And he's in front of a Mercedes convertible. They're sending pictures? Photos, of course.

Man. Why aren't you going through the letters with your mom? Hey, you want to bang this Indian dude? That's crazy. And he's got the Mercedes and Armani suit, a Rollie. And he's got those old school car phones, the brick, dude. The big drawings. The Zach Morris.

That's pretty good. What also, dude, posing for that in the 80s is, that's money. He's wild, dude. So she sees that. She's slipping out of her seat. She's fucking done, dude. A month later, they're married.

One month. And I remember putting bets on it with my new stepsisters, my new step family, how long this marriage will last And I was like it's got to be a year tops because my mom's like super crazy like there's she's hot but she's nuts There's no way They lasted 17 years. Wow. They were a fantastic couple. That's good for them because they were both Bananas bonkers bat shit crazy and they would do business together. I don't know what he did.

It's just like perfectly intertwined. There was no like friction. They had their crazinesses married and did well. It was lovely. And he was sadly enough, the most paternal and functional of my step parents. Got you. He loved comedy.

He loved Jay Leno. He and I would watch comedy together. we would tell jokes and we would, you know, fart at the table and he was fun. I have memories of going to Rite Aid for ice cream or thrifty. It's okay in LA for pistachio ice cream. He loved that. And he goes, he was fat. He was really fat. And I did not picture me there. He's very fat. He was right because he was poor. He grew poor. So when he came to America, he was eating pizza and

pistachio ice cream. Tell me you're Indian. He was he was the fact I love ice cream. So he's going to go to thrifty get some ice cream. And he get in the car and go hold on a minute. And he would get out of the car. And he would take a blade and he would slash some guys tires in the parking lot. And we get in the car and go hold on a minute and he would get out of the car and he would take a blade and he would slash some guys tires in the parking lot and then get back in the car and then we would just go to thrifty and get our ice cream why some guy did him dirty some business like payback so I did him dirty so that so going to get the ice cream was a partial

cover. Well it was no he wanted ice cream. He just had to do this errand. Yeah, you're going to. I mean, you're not going to do that. Go home, then go get ice. You're going to knock it all out. Why? You're out because it was on the way. The parking lot was at the it was right. It was on the way.

So he just pulls over. We go. I'm what's what's, you know, Sebastian? Oh, he's just slashing. I saw it in the car. And my mother was there, too. And I remember she's like high fiving him and like they love it. And that was their dynamic. Yeah, they would start, he would start fights

in like grocery stores, like telling people to shut their, shut your fucking kid up. And then my mother would hype it. He's like, my mom was a hype man. And I know look at your face. He's like, what? Also this, this. You open this up with, he was the most paternal person.

He was, but here's the crazy part Is that to me, like the coolest? Sure. Stepdad. I got I lucked out and I look a lot of stepdads are like super molest and pervy. Like he wasn't like he encouraged me to be comedian. That's great. I know it's kind of sad that this is like the most supportive adult I had, but it's like the slashed tires. You know, Arlon got set on fire because some somebody was retaliating against

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So we go to bedroom into this like I finally now I'm living in like this really nice house You guys are rich, all of a sudden bang, you're overnight. It's like literally we get my mom marries this guy, she gets the rock, she gets a Mercedes and she literally takes her Mercedes to her, her gym where she works out at the women's only okay, and in the valley and she's like, look at these bitches. I'm a rich like she's like, what's up? I've got money.

She slashed everybody's tires, went and got some rocky road and went home. Yeah, like a lady. What were some of the business? Like what was it like real estate? Was it like importing? Explicit? What was the right? So I found out later after he passed. Basically, he was a Shylock.

So he would loan money, money. All right. And he would take the deed to your house or car Okay, so at his time of his death he had had all these deeds to every motherfuckers house in LA And he was like to you to stack to be no kids so that was one of them I really don't know I'm sorry word that word word what all those properties of go my stepsisters inherited Okay, that yeah, all right I mean there were time there was a time he was about to go to prison and I don't know somehow he Where'd all those properties and stuff go? My stepsister's inherited. Okay. That, yeah. All right. I mean, there was a time he was about to go to prison

and I don't know, somehow he got out of it. Something. But one thing I do love, and I will say, is my Indian stepdad did believe that in America if you were rich, it transcended your race. It transcended your background. It's true, it's kinda true. It'sended your background. And kind of true. It's fucking true, bro, because look at his ass like he's like some fucking nobody

from Bombay. He shows up. He marries his hot ass Hungarian lady with big tits and blonde hair and like is driving a Mercedes like only in America. Can that happen? Yeah. Also, like you can go to the nice restaurant. It's not like you're in the highest class. It's like you can go to the nice restaurant. The chills. Yeah. Like and so both my American dream, unfortunately.

My dad and my stepdad are like these hardcore killing it. Wow, dude. You can fucking do that. Like, yes, you can. I don't know about today, but back in the day. OK, that's why. You know, well, then you got the Internet and facial ID and all that kind of stuff now. Fingerprints, DNA. Well, it would be a little tricky. So so I wanted to work when I was a teenager and I'm legally Yeah, we got the internet and facial ID and all that kind of stuff now fingerprints DNA So so I wanted to work when I was a teenager and I'm legally I had to be 15 he changed my birth certificate

So I could work legally legally so my birth certificate he augment he could do that like he would fix papers I was like white out in a typewriter and you could do it. Yeah, it was that easy. You could fix a loan docs. You could fix payroll or pay stubs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We do. I'll do that for our play. If they're trying to get a lease or so, there's some more. Somebody was trying to get a lease and like, I don't make enough.

I'm like, I write the checks. Yeah, you do. What are you talking about? You don't have New York if we said that if you document the papers, right? Idiots. Yeah, we also I have that thing of like in your family, too. Or not. Well, like, yeah, a little bit. Well, yeah, there was some not criminal, but just morally questionable. They're not loan sharks. Let's put it that way.

A lot of family members don't talk to each other anymore. Let's just leave it at that. Yes, I have that too. You know, I have friends, relatives, Hungarian shit like there's this one guy my my dad was friends with. He's passed away now, too. Like his racket was like getting inkjet printers. So specific cartridges and then refilling them and selling

bad ink or something. Yeah, that's your racket, bro. It's a hustle. That's 50 bucks a pop. Come on. Talk about playing the long I like it though. Yeah, those things were hard to get an expensive at the time that was that everybody would go to inks where they get you. You're gonna be real sorry when you're running a toner. I'll tell you that.

That's 100% that was it. Well, yeah, the printers 100 bucks sorry when you're running a toner. I'll tell you that. That's 100%, that was it. That was the time. Yeah, well, yeah, the printer's 100 bucks, but you're spending 80 every month on inkjet. Jesus. That and like I had a relative who during communism was in some ring of sending jeans back to... That was big.

That was big. Blue jeans and Beatles tapes, that was it. Yeah, the Europeans, they love that shit. They still don't have Levi's really over there. They do a little bit now but still for the longest time. There's no Levi's other family come over. Or like once what once the wall fell on stuff. You guys I guess reconnected with your family over there. So some of them over here.

Yeah, most of us most of them got out and then then they went back which to me is like whoa, bro what like around 90s, my dad remarries to a Hungarian woman. And so now he's rekindling these roots of like, oh. I get that a little bit. I do too. So they get a property in Hungary. So now we're going to Budapest. Every year we go, not every year,

every few years in the summer or whatever, I go talk to some fucking foreign cousins and get diarrhea. Man, what a fucking life, this is nuts. It's the worst, I know, it's the worst. No, the best part is when I turned 18, my dad. This is all before 18, that's fucking crazy. Then I got into fifth grade, fifth grade.

I know. I know, that I turned 18. What was the first job, by the way, that he forged the documents? Oh, so awesome. Marylander Marketing Research. Working in marketing research at 15? You're scamming too?

14. 14. What are you doing though there? Like receptionist? Hi, this is Christina calling from Marylander Marketing Research. I was wondering if we had a few minutes today to take just a brief survey. You're born to be a dirtbag. What? That's crazy.

You were doing Ponzi's? That's crazy. But before that I worked in my dad's working in an Indian call center. This is Christine. Thank you. Thank you for calling. But before that I worked in my dad's shop in the summers and I would answer his phone. Okay, that that that makes sense. Yeah, shocker. Yeah, that's makes sense. Yeah shop girl. Yeah That's fine, but then I'd like they asked me questions about pallet jacks and shit So I had to learn about like I know I know my way around a pallet jack Or like propane versus electric forklifts and electric forklift batteries at one point, okay

Yeah, those run out those they do and the guy I was working for had a chemical process. Well, you can refill those. Well, that's what he was doing. He was, it was called new life batteries. It would make, he would take, we'd buy old batteries. Yeah. And then he had some sort of chemical process where he could reanimate. Reanimate, yeah, to like 80% of their whatever

or something like that. It's just so shady, dude. I know, it was, yeah. What was high school? Were you a good student in high school? Disastrous, okay, so this is a nightmare. So by the time I'm in the middle of ninth grade, I told you I lose my mind,

because I'm like, dude, my family, something's wrong here. Sure. But I blame myself. I think I'm the one that's crazy. You don't know when you're a kid that your parents are messed up. You think you're messed up.

So I get really depressed, and I just like stop going to school. Like ninth grade. Really? I was just like, you know what? I'm going to school. And I would get into fights with like like grade. I was just like, you know what? I'm not into school. And I would get into fights with like Cholas and black girls and stuff. Like just kind of fights a lot. You fight. Yeah. I didn't like when I said that Eastern block fucking. Yeah.

You know, no surrender, no retreat in you. I don't say I won any fights, but you were. I fought back, I should say. I got my ass beat a lot. And I was like, I was goth and I won any fights, but you were you were I fought back. I should say I got my ass beat a lot. And I was like I was goth and I was getting into, you know, just experimenting with drugs. And this is when you're in a nice house, though. You're out of the apartment.

All right. I'm in the nice house. It's ninth grade. My life has completely changed because I have this like a new stepfamily and yeah. And I'm just getting depressed and weird and I'm trying drugs. And I'm like, I'm not gonna go to school anymore, don't like it there. And my grades just go straight fails. Oh no, sorry, straight Ds, straight Ds. I failed gym, but I begged the teacher to give me a D

so that I could transfer out and go to Catholic school. Because my mother saw that I was failing and God bless her for going like, yeah, you need help. And I was like, put me in a mental hospital. I think I need mental help. I'm crazy. She's like, no, no, no, you don't need just go to Catholic school.

I think you dentist. So that was her solution to send me to Catholic school. And I loved it because the structure of the nuns I you know, hey, I love Catholic school. And it saved me. It was a structure in a life of chaos, essentially. Essentially, and I found great friends. And my best friend I met still is my best friend to this day from that place.

I wore a uniform there. And I thrived. And then my grades got better and better. And I eventually eked my way into college nice high school is a disaster because home life now stepdad is doing his thing and You know What's going on where what? Why why didn't his windshield get shot out?

You know, there's fights. There's plates of food get messy. Oh, it's getting It's getting hectic. Gotcha. It's getting hectic. So I'm just out. Good Lord. Huh? That hit me not on a human level, not pod get. I'm like, Jesus Christ. If I came out in the morning and my mom's windshield got out,

I'd have some questions before I got on the bus. I know, you're like, all right. But that's the thing is like when you grow up and you don't ask questions. You're just like, oh, yeah, that happens. Like you don't even. So basically I start spending more time at my friend's house is my boyfriend's house at the time. I have a great boyfriend.

OK. And I make a good group of goth friends. And I'm just not home very much until I get into college. And then I'm like, OK, what was college? University of San Francisco? Nice good I got in on academic probation. I barely eat. I didn't even break a thousand on my SAT. I was mine I was gonna be my next question I was like I didn't I didn't nine something eight something eight something. Hey, I was so stupid. I got 870

Yeah Hey, I was so stupid. I got 870. Yeah Starting my ass off the thousand is the barometer. Yeah, like I'm fucking But I wasn't turn out. I had a tough. I couldn't study. How can you study when there's fucking machine gun going off? Getting death threats at the house every third call. Yeah, so I get good grades for the first time in my life. I'm getting straight A's and I'm like, oh, okay I'm not stupid. I'm just my home life is yeah, right. What uh, what was the first concert your goth? What's the first time? Do we know the band were they with a big goth band the best and best goth band in the world the Smiths Oh, they were broken up by the time I I'm 13 years old. So like 1988. OK. LA. Dodger Stadium.

Depeche Mode. I wish now my close. Yes. Huh. Not for him. Eleven Rockets is the opening band, the Pixies. Pixies. I don't know. Hit us. The cure. Ah, it was right there. Great one. More pop at that point, too. I don't know hit us the cure It was right there And more pop at that point though if we're splitting hairs That's pictures of you would already come out and then here's the cool part about that

So I make friends with I'm sure I can talk about this cuz she's written it books about it with Jennifer Pentland who's Rosanne bar's daughter okay, and, Patlin and Pujetski. She's got access to money. Sure. No one's watching that either. No one's home there. So this is when Roseanne's on the air. It's popping. This is like she's at the height, the height of her sand. She's always a height. It was so much fun. And so she's so many thousands. Yeah, that's what I say. That's so funny. I feel like it. Anyway, so I make friends with her

and for the first time in my life I also see comedy. God, I'm gonna cry. And I see like it's possible to have fun and their home is fun and her father, Bill Pentland, oh, they saved my life. Sorry, I'm not supposed to cry on a fucking comedy show. But their home is fun and they have stuff in their living room like a fake spaghetti thing that's like plastic and the four in the

four. Yeah, that was a good that was a good bit in the 80s. Because he was a funny guy. They were funny people. And like, I just love that family. And I credit them for saving my amazing the petalons like shout out to that whole family for saving me basically. So, who's the point? Oh, so we got lots of access to money and time and we took a limousine. Being able to go to the Cure concert. To the Cure concert, yeah.

We took a limo to Dodger Stadium when I'm 13 to see the Cure and I was like, what is this life? Like this is so lucky. It's crazy. You meet Robert Smith? I wish. Man, I was in love with him when I was like, what is this life? Like this is so crazy Robert Smith I wish I was in love with him when I was a kid. No, you were there and he was shot You're fucking with I loved him. No, he's before he got heavy. So he was thin He had the under eye makeup in the hair. Yeah, what do you mean? Are you like killing it you for him or you have Dave? I wanted to be him. Yeah me too Please don't cry that killed me. I didn't know you were alt. I love that shit really

Loved it Yeah, so that was that and I wrote good songs, what do you want for me he's amazing But pictures of you I heard the first time my He's amazing. Yeah, they were great. But pictures of you I heard the first time. My the night of my prom we were taking acid in like like a house after the prom and that song came on and I was like man, that's a fucking hit. You weren't asked it at the prom or after prom and after prom. Yeah. How did you survive? I don't know. It's kind of my thing back then. You know me too. We used to wrestle in high school on it

Oh Mike. Yeah, how much acid have you done good amount? Yeah. Yeah, I'm a little screwballs be honest with you Both of us are pretty fucked up Now I Know yeah, he's a drinker Like you don't do drugs, but we'll give you beers at 14 on the ride home from the party. And you go, all right. I know. I know, because all these kids are on Mali or fentanyl now or whatever. I'm like, dude, we fried our brains with LSD. Sure.

That's real. And a formative year is like 14, 15, 16. First time I took it was when I was a senior in high school and I loved it. And I was like, at certain times on it, I was like at my I was the best possible version of myself on it. I said no that sounds crazy No Doc Ellis, you know Doc Ellis Doc Ellis no he pitched. Yeah, no, no, you threw a no-hitter on it Yeah. Oh, yes, of course. Okay. Yeah, don't you poo poo psychedelics? Don't you poopoo your LSD? I thought we were on to something These cameras aren't even on right now Yeah, no, I honestly I felt like I was I was at my best self

I also feel like the acid at that time from like 93 to 97 it would they had the mix right or something I don't know but it was all right and then it went downhill by 98 because there was too much like strict nine or sure shit in it sure but dead stop torn it was all over I think there's a correlation 100% our college was right outside of Philadelphia where I went to college right outside of Philadelphia and our fraternity I was in they were kind of like stoner deadhead he

kind of guys. Whenever the Grateful Dead would come in the two weeks before it and the two weeks after it. The drugs were flowing like water and it was all top shelf good stuff. I agree because I when I went to college in San Francisco, shortening the drugs were amazing. Yeah, great time. Yeah, put that on the brochure. University of San Francisco drugs are good. They really only between 93 and 98. So get your time machine folks if you really want to go far out.

So the cure was your first concert Dodger's. That's a great that's pretty class might be one of the best. Look a limo. I took a limo. Did you ever go to the set you go to the center rosanne? I did man. I did and cuz I was when it was all happening I mean, I'm doing a chill Fucking Joe Hollywood, I mean it was such a big she was so big Yeah, that was like the first time you know in a while from like the late 70s where they showed a family that wasn't doing well a middle-class struggle, yeah, like Listen, she is I think just the greatest of I just loved her so I still love her so much And yes, we visited the set and I remember like seeing a craft service table, which I don't know Why why do they call it a craft service? I thought that I don't know why they fucking call it

It's just like a table of snacks. Yeah, sure. And being like, oh my God, they get all these snacks. Yeah, it's the best. Nutri-green bars, Stimfast, what the hell? I gotta get into show business. Free granola for everybody? Nice crafties, all right. Sure.

And I loved that family too, because there's this, I remember, so I went to her wedding to Tom Arnold. That's nuts that you were at that. That was a huge story. Look in time, man. You're like Forrest Gump. I know.

You were at Tom Arnold and Roseanne Barr's wedding. How many times have you met Richard Nixon? I'm telling you, I'm Forrest Gump. There's so many, I can tell you stories where I'm like, why am I in this room right now? I just you went to Tom Arnold and Roseanne's wedding. Look it up. It's there's an issue of Time magazine. I'm on the cover.

I'm not on the cover. But I was 13 or 14, I think, and I was wearing a purple velvet dress that I bought at a, you know, what is a vintage store? And Jenny sitting next to me and she's making a goofy face. That's crazy. And you're like in the focus. You're sitting next to the daughter. So you're like, in the fucking phone right there front row and and there's this great quote in that article. I'll never forget. She goes, we're America's nightmare.

We're white trash with money. And that's the show. Exactly. And I so respected her for that too. It's money. Money doesn't change you, bro. It just makes you who you are. And yeah, you know, it's why it can amplify real issues. Those two wreaked havoc. Yeah, at ABC for a minute. Well, that whole thing was going on. They were together Listen, I won't talk about that. But sure. Yeah that no yet money will just amplify whatever issue you have going on It's like, yeah, you just buy, you know stupid shit But that's why people like so it's a great quote and I think about it all the time when I in my own life now

I'm like look I I may be wearing nicer shoes, but on the inside, we're aware you're thanks, Nate. You know, you are who you are. But yeah, we've always said to like, it's not money doesn't depend. It doesn't depend on money. And it's also like money can get like, maybe your kids will be 10% different. Yeah, but like you're just less trashy because you're

last night. What are you talking about? My kid brought a hammer to school. And a jewelry store after this smashing grab job. Jesus Christ. Yeah. All right. Let's let's run through a handful of the the standard. Sure. And just to stay on that note on the Rose Antibes What was your?

Use when you got when you started making money Was there a crazy? Irresponsible first stupid trashy purchase. We didn't need the hot tub or the wave runner the you know What's so funny is because I'm such like communist mentality. I still have guilt. I don't I don't do that. So really, no, I'm the opposite. First big check. You didn't go out and buy like, no, I moved out of the ghetto. We moved out of we were in

living down. I'll tell you what I just did. That's pretty good. Yeah, that this is what I do is I will buy the most nicest of the it's not a shitty thing. I don't want to say that like Tom will be like don't do you want a nice car? And I'll be like I just want a Volkswagen bus. I've wanted one for my whole sure I just started putting them out again. I got one you did one of the new ones or got an old one new one You did that to me is like What like I waited years before you could yeah, you could have done it 30 20 years ago sure Yeah, you could have done it way before right now

It's like a Camry you can lease it for four months a month civic yeah But in my mind I'm like I'm really being reckless here with money Sure, I'm so I went back and bought my first car. I mean, it was only like, yeah, it's a 1995 Chevy Lumina. And it was like seven grand more than when I bought it in fucking 2000 or 90, whatever it was. Yeah. Sweet ride. Does it feel, what does it feel like?

A waste of money. Yeah. My wife's like, are you kidding me? I also find it funny because like Tom. Smoked cigarettes in there though. Yeah, Tom. Yeah. Of course you smoke cigarettes. I like those Tom's into cars and I'm like, I'll just,

I want to go buy a bunch of like, I want to buy like a Corolla from 93. Yeah. I just had like a warehouse of shitty cars. Yeah, me too. Just shitty 1990 cars. Or even just the cars that I saw other kids having. Like I would love a Volkswagen Cabriolet.

Whoa. A convertible. That's a cool kid car. Volkswagen Rabbit. That's what I'm talking about. Stick shift. Yeah. Like an Aqua.

Can you drive stick? No, but I would learn for that one. Sure. Cause my dad had one of those. And I thought, oh, that's so cool. I'm surprised you can't drive stick. Yeah. Eastern European.

I learned in Australia, actually. I can do it on the left side. Cause I was on road rules, remember? I could do that on the, I learned in Australia actually I can do it on the left side because I was on road rolls remember I could do that I learned in Australia huh that's crazy what was the first card suck fucking suck dude my fucking boring ass stepmom dude she's so fucking boring she had like a gray Chevy Nova 87 with a gray interior I'm like how fucking uninspiring are you that like, yeah, you couldn't even pick a color bitch.

That's like a stunt man's car. Wish I trashed I smoked so much in that the ashtray was overflowing. What was the go to sig? Oh, are you smoking? camel lights, bro. Hamel lights. The blues. No, no, this is before blues. This is brown, whatever. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you smoking? I want a picture. Can I guess? I've been all over the road, but yeah.

I'm gonna go with you. Hit me. Salem 100s. No! Benson and Hedges. Looks like a Capri man. Hey, Benson and Hedges menthol. Don't tempt me with Salem 100s. No! That's garbage. Benson Hedges. Look like a Capri man. Benson and Hedges menthol. Don't tempt me with a good time. I smoked the Benson Hedges. We found a pack of Benson Hedges in the Oxford Valley Mall parking lot

and we smoked them and we threw up. Like, I mean, it was bad. Okay, you at one point did smoke GPCs, the Generics, to get by. No. Okay, okay, hold on, I'm not done. Marlboro Lights. was that was the last Twelve year rap last 15 years of problem or blights. Yeah, you're good. Yeah, you smoke I did

We just both just wait two months ago in December. Yeah, hold on you I think you really you're gonna go for a stronger you like a stronger pole You like if we want to feel that I'm gonna go with like, I don't know what I say this like filterless maybe like, yeah, Billy, you roll your own like drums. I was all pipes. Marlboro Reds my dad's smoke Marlboro Reds we smoke Marlboro

Reds. Yeah, Reds are gnarly reds. And then mediums when they kind of became fashionable, a little bit like maybe like college or whatever. Killers. Yeah. The reds have they used to say fiberglass in the filters. I don't know if that's true, but that's a gnarly. He was a nom. So he was a reds man.

He'd lay on the floor watching TV like this. Just ripping heaters. Yeah, you know, I still love cigarettes and I think I still love them. I'm only two months out. They're still the coolest thing that's ever happened to me. Yeah, I love booze. I love cigarette. I don't do any of it. I don't do any of it anymore. I love alcohol and cigarettes. Is there anything better than getting drunk and no ripping butts? No, no, we're getting

jacked on coffee. That's cigarette coffee and cigarettes. Perk a set cup of coffee and a cigarette in the morning. That's what's about Christmas on your percocets from 95. The best perks. Yeah. Well, yes, I agree. I never got to do quail utes, which is my biggest. Also, your biggest life regret. Yeah, never got my hands on any lemons. Yeah, I gotcha. Lemons were gone by then. Yeah. Yeah. I did do Valium in eighth grade. I stole that eighth grade grade. I did

pod and when I was 13 to me too. I started I smoked weed like 12. Okay. Oh, wait. No, I lied. I lied. The first time I did pod I was nine years old. I ate brownies. That's crazy. You did weed brownies at nine accidentally three of them. Yeah passed out Valley Bertinelli's house I need to go to therapy after this my life my life can't be the worst. There's got to be way worse It's very interesting. It's very interesting very exciting. Yeah, it's very unique. Very awesome. Yeah. Thanks. I'll write something. Let's say now obviously now you're doing quite well. Right? You'll say you're going let's say I invited you to my wedding. Right? What is that gift gonna what's the check

gonna be? What do you drop it as a gift? Okay, I tell you something because I don't think you need fucking dishes. Yeah, you know, we're looking for looking for cash unique a monetary value Great answer my husband's more generous. He'll probably give you more. I forget we could I believe it was somewhere around there Thousand you're you're you're doing great. That's yeah. You have a duty, especially I always tip well, too, because I've been a waitress. Love that. Fuck. I hate when. Yeah. Because, you know, you always know the celebrity that doesn't tip well because they will tell that story for. Yeah, I've heard, you know, I so and so

came in, they, you know, I got a couple. Tell me I got to. I don't want to trash anybody. We'll talk off. Allegedly. Yeah. I got Shmoan and O''Brien not a not a great tip really Man, I know you know who I heard and he's got me too so I can say his name Oh, I heard Jeremy Pivens not a good not a good tip. I was notoriously he left like a DVD of entourage sign, but then I heard that like I heard that story too. I heard that bounce back They were like they asked for they're like, oh, we don't have it

So like you went he had one and gave it he could just be lying I'll tell you I don't care Sarah Jessica Parker a bad one or a guy nominal that she should be sweetheart, too Lovely, she's great. How do you know her cuz I waited table doesn't know her I was at her wedding. That's JP. He was giving her mozzarella sticks Yeah, I waited table. We first got to New York. I was waiting tables wedding. That's JP. He was giving her mozzarella sticks. Yeah, I waited. Well, we first got to New York. I was waiting tables in this nice cafe in like a good part of the West Village. So there was a lot of a lot of people in. A lot of who's who? A lot of who's who?

Carrie Fisher. I used to wait tables on her. OK. Lovely. Yeah. Then then the guy that played Doc and Back to the Future. OK. Christopher Lloyd. Lovely. Nice. I like to hear that. Yeah, that was a French restaurant and Bradley Cooper. Great tipper. Oh, very good. Chazz Palminteri. Fantastic. See, he's a great guy. Yeah, we had him on the show. I was like our first like and the guy that does the celebrity the mayhem commercials on all state Dino. Why he's got cash. Cash. Great

tipper. Cool dude, too. That's important. You should be so important. You should be generous. 100% Yeah. Would you dance at the wedding? I don't drink anymore. That's a great answer. That's what I know. You got a problem. Oh, thank God. I didn't say would you run through a play class window? I think like fun is correlated alcohol.

Yeah, I stopped having fun. Told you I'm off the volume. Yeah. Holy shit. So no, you don't dance at a wedding. Here's what I would do. Full disclosure. I probably wouldn't come to the wedding because I don't want to do anything anymore. Like that. But I'd send you a nice check.

I like I love you, bro. Like that's Mazel. This is this is it. I love you. I respect that. Classiest answer rightzel. This is this is it. I love you. I respect classiest answer right there I'm not coming. Here's a check Don't cash it till Thursday Signs Indian guy Who's Cynthia Flores Have you ever owned a lava lamp?

I have one right now in my room. No shit. In your room. In the bedroom. I love it. I love it. Yeah, it's a red one. Yeah, it's in my. You guys have a lava lamp in your room. That's is there a beanbag chair in there too? And downstairs. Yeah. Holy shit. Full disclosure, my older son wanted the lava lamp.

And so I was like, keep it in here in case it gets set on Yeah, those are dangerous. Oh, they are. I mean they were back in the day. I don't know what now you're scaring the poor I know shit. Those are dangerous. She's got bigger problem. It gets got a fucking It's got an itchy trigger figure What's uh, what's a What what's the air freshener in the car now? Do you have an air freshener in there right now? It smells like fucking french fries McDonald's you're eating in the car. My kids do dude. They fuck on my car They're putting their food in their milkshakes

Okay, that car is that your day-to-day This one yeah, yeah, yeah, really you got them in that and they're eating french fries back there because I'm garbage. I don't realize shit That's crazy. That's why I'm horrible, but no okay. You know I discovered the smell of Hey, you ever been inside of an? Anthropology store yeah, yo you know how that's that smell white tea is that what you're going at nice hotels my white tea It's called I figured out because I went up to them. I'm like your store smells so good. What is it? Capri capri blue.

So I bought capri blue and now I that's in your car. That's a that's a promo. That's a fancy move. Do you guys have air fresheners in the house like those plug in things? Yeah. Nice. I I don't have the energy. No, no. Right now it's those sticks from Italy Those are good When those dropped I thought you were like one of the Kennedys you go over someone's house. They had one of them I go whoa anyone ever pooped in things are going well

Do you want to know what the height of sophistication was in the 90s hit me in your drawers if you had like a potpourri? Oh, yeah, I bought like the bag I mean, I almost ate one of those a couple Yeah, that are like the ones that are like soap, but they were in like though you would sometimes you would get them at weddings Yeah, they would be in like those almost like like shell shapes like panty hose thing netted Yeah, very classy. Yeah. Yeah, the bowls were good. They smell like strawberry and stuff. I know you're talking about. Yeah, that's pretty good.

I wanna eat those too, yeah. But growing up, no. But I will tell you the trashiest inclinations. Like I wanna put car seats on my cars. On my car. Like the covers. Oh. The covers. Like a beaded one? Like a cab driver?

No. Not the Indian kind. The sassy Indian stepdad. Yeah. But like a soft one. And my husband was like, you don't do that, babe. Yeah, that's like, yeah, you can just sit on the seat. And I'm like, but it's going to get ruined. Right. It's like the yeah.

You don't have any plastic on the furniture. Of course I did. Of course we did. I think Eastern Europeans are a little bit like black culture a little bit because we laminate our furniture laminate your physical We both eat like Pig's feet and like the parts of the animals that are considered like not yeah Yeah, and then we're both like flash like Eastern blockers will fucking show you what's up. Like this is my gold chain. I love it

Yeah, so like mad respect Mercedes a hundred percent like yeah Even now I wear like Burberry pants sometimes the checks and black people love it I don't know what it is, but like black people respect I've seen that on the show a couple times you in a Burberry blazer. Yeah, you do dress very nice We were talking about before you got here because you're gonna come correct. All right, we got to we got to put I got to put my best Dickies jacket. So that would be the things that you splurge on you like you like looking nice dressing nice. I

do you got the walk in closet all that kind of stuff. Nice closet isn't her I think him asking Tom his and her sinks in the in the bathroom. Yeah, in the shower though. Of course I'm pissing in the shower. brush your teeth in the shower. Of course I brush my teeth in the shower. You leave your toothbrush in there? Of course I leave my toothbrush in there. Oh, you're a dirtbag. Lady, you are a real one. Doesn't everybody? No. Why? Because it's not fun. I brush my teeth in the shower.

Every day I brush my teeth. Yeah, but I leave my my toothbrush doesn't live in the shower. Oh, mine lives there. Yeah, no, I picked it up when you said that. Yeah, mine doesn't. my toothbrush doesn't live in the shower. Oh, it might live there. Yeah, no, we I picked it up. He said that. Yeah, mine does. No, just times. No, he's not garbage like me. Like, no. Do you what kind of toothbrush? You just like a regular CVS toothbrush. You got some good.

And I got the I got an electric toothbrush because I'm also very maniacal about my dental hygiene. You floss it every day. Of course I floss and I use the fucking sticks and then I throw them on the side of the bed and my husband gets furious on the side of the bed because I keep the sticks in the drawer next to my bed You just drop it on the floor and I taught my son to do it yesterday, too I'm gonna and he goes what do I do that? I go you just put on the side

That's right put my contacts and draws my wife crazy. I just take him out at night and put him right next to my bed Oh, no, I just throw him on the floor. Are you have contacts? No Yeah, I'm a pig. I'm very gross. I'm disgusting. I think I'm as bad as Tom if not worse. I think you're doing your hot, your hot jumping shower shit to shower like if I'm in a hotel and doesn't have a bidet because we have the the washlet, I will take a shit in the toilet and then I'll go straight to the shower to clean out my ass No wiping no wiping you gotta give it a dab a little dabble do you I think that's what's the point?

I can just shower you planning on showering like you were getting you were running the shower or this is like hey I got lunch in 20 minutes. I'm gonna I got a shit. That's a fat guy move That's a dump and jump Believe my point. Yeah, I was a hot jump. I've never met a woman. I think he said his mom did it That's crazy. I'm disgusting. Yeah, I'm I'm gross like a dude in a lot of ways like that. Yeah, definitely Dump and jump I like that if we went over your house right now and I asked for a water What am I gonna get? What can you offer me? You get a switchblade this stomach? What's up fatty?

Who are you two losers what a water? Okay, I will say here's the deal man, okay This is my deal Jerry now because I had breast cancer I drink out of glass containers Okay, because of cancer stuff, but I Bro, I don't fuck a tap. I don't drink out of tap. Okay, cuz I'm from LA that shit's fucking contaminated I don't care what you tell me. I'm never drinking tap water. Okay, even New York. I know in New York They're like you can drink it is so good like gotcha bullshit So I would give a like a water bottle plastic plastic. Yeah, just whatever bottle like a pole I'm spraying you have a sparkling water available if I would if I felt so inclined of course a perrier a perrier a Gero Steiner

I am Eastern black. I love a good Soda water, but I do topo Chico cuz we're in Texas. Okay, they have a topo Chico. Thank you I'm curious the pariers not bubbly enough. You're saying it wrong. I think Harrier, okay Sounds like a dog is a quarterback for the barrier lab When did you buy a parier last night? When did you guys have sparkling water for the first time?

Sparkling water. I like soda, right? Is it different? There's the I don't know. Yeah, like there's a difference in Pellegrino and a fucking club seltzer I Didn't really swept seltzer back in the day Pellegrino about six weeks ago. Yeah, my wife put me onto it European this European stuff Yeah, you just drink it. And I just started liking it. It's feels like it's biting your back. I don't like it.

You get a bottle of sparkling bottle of still. Yeah, you're not doing the tap at a restaurant. Get fucked on the tap. Hey, hey, chum. Hey, you're the first time even even in my poorest I was always like, I don't know. I'll take a sippy sip. But I don't wash them glasses. They don't watch. And I know because I've worked in sure in as a cocktail waitress, don't ever eat a garnish at a bar. You know how disgusting only fruit I get no the nasty waitresses they tied your hands are filthy from

waiting. I'm eating don't you know, don't you? Are my favorite thing that's our biggest problem? Like are you getting heart disease? What's the dirtiest thing you eat? Like what's the dirtiest? As we tables I would eat off people's plates all the time. Last week. If they looked clean always Yeah, if it was like a hot chick or a good looking dude, I'm in I would eat their fries, but I wouldn't eat the primary. I would eat everything really. Yeah Everything yeah

Bad I've got gross one Cigarette, but they're just like there's like a little bit on there. Like, oh, where's this half a millimeter? It's all the shit, though. It's been sitting in the ashtray outside. It's crusty and old. Do you still smoke it in your most desperate?

No. Ryan? No. A ringed on cig. Oh, those things hit different. Yeah. You wouldn't do that. A butt that's got just a little bit left. Mm-hmm I'd I'd to go if I had no I yeah, I would figure it out I'd go to all buddies house and say let me bum a sig Wow, I can't do that. Okay. What are you thinking so far? What do you think she's sitting at?

Just that I think we all should go to therapy after this Primarily her but I think I think a little dab could do me not too bad either. I mean, she's 100% fucking trash. LA Euro Canadian Indian trash. Yeah, that trifecta going around. The applause from the people. Do I get a prize?

You two are both crying. They stand. This is so exciting. Can I be, I mean? Yeah, I mean, you might be the you're the queen. I think a new queen has been crowned. We've had a run lately. Yeah, man. Thank you so much. I mean, it's just such an eclectic vert like we had a LL. Eleanor. I mean, I love what South Philly trash. So it's

like, she's so specific. Yours is like lawns on fire. Shoot out hedonism. It's like you're all over them. Kicked out of school. Yours is eclectic. Kim, you're still throwing the sticks next to the bed. Yeah, nice house. You're doing well. Yeah, like you said, you know, like Roseanne said,

you know, we're America's nightmare. We're white trash with money. You're just garbage. You can't hide it. You can never hide it. You are who you are. It only amplifies it. Oh yeah, you know how many tracksuits I have now?

Like Adidas ones. They're nice ones too. You got Stun, Shelted a Gym, look at Mercedes tracksuit, look. What's up, bitch? Yes, 100% garbage. I love it. What are the name brands on the tracksuits?

What do you like? Adidas Strictly. No, I don't do no fucking, I'm telling you, I've tried the rest Adidas is the best It's true there's something It's just you know why because in Eastern Europe, it's like the currency of like this is this is yeah You're flashing shit. Yeah, so like my dad wore them. It's just I

Don't know do they look fly. They just like tightly fit right. Ever ski in jeans? I've never skied. You've never shit never once. You ever been sledding? Once? Probably running from the cops.

Guys ski? No, we've been skiing. Yeah, at some point. What for? It's terrible. Yeah, at some point. What for? It looks terrible. Okay. Cold. Holy shit, 100%.

Thank you. I gotta say, which there's been a dethroning of Garbage Queen over the last couple of months. You had Jordan Jensen, you had Adrienne, but man, you're coming in, number one. Yeah. The new Garbage Queen, Christina P. Everybody, look at you. you her majesty ladies and gentlemen

Who's the male equivalent whose male garbage your husband ain't great He's bouger than he's clay he's a classy guy he taught me how to be he's uh, yeah He's a very classy guy guy why it's like dusty sleighs really bad Nate's really bad Nate Bergazi. Yeah, really? He seems classy. No he grew up garbage Oh, I mean, yeah, really dad's a clown that was that's one of the questions It still holds those tendencies a lot of fast food get delivered to his house Without like he won't run it by his wife. He'll just like just not even answer. Hey, I'm getting so they will just get secret ops Yeah, get it delivered be like leave it by that driveway. I'll go like eat it by the car. Can I tell you something in my mind?

Delivered fast food is such a crime. I agree with you 100% It's an injustice unless I'm like drunk in a hotel at 2 a.m Yes, you get off your ass you go fucking get. Because it's only good for five minutes tops. How do you eat in the car? I of course. What's up? Or you're probably not. I grow it up or at any point. What were what did you lean more like a T.J. Fridays and Applebee's and Outback Steakhouse over Tuesdays?

What are you? Let me tell you what's up. Every Friday, my dad would take me to the bar T.J. Fridays, the one in San Fernando Valley. Shout out Canoga Avenue. And he.oga Avenue and I get the Oreo cookie milkshake and he would hit on as an appetizer yeah and he's just there just spitting game plan now I will say my favorite is the Bloomin onion at Outback Steakhouse that's like 3000 calories but my absolute favorite this is your third favorite I'm garbage yet nine favorites Tony Roma's I don't know Tony Roma's it's a chain of ribs and it's garbage like frozen and they thought out and they give you a look you're make where

you it's a chain it was a in California. I don't know if it Fuck Applebee's. I'm sorry. I know that's sacrilege. I'm never we have for today I've never had a good entree there. I don't know. It's very middle of the road. There's no zest. There's no pop to it I agree with you complain about the Potato skins and keep it moving now Friday's pops. It's the top tier. You're right. I love it. Yeah. Chili's is great.

You get that bourbon chicken. I like that one. I feel like Chili's popped after they pop. So they really had that advantage to take it up a notch. Yeah. You know what I mean? Who? Chili's after who? After like Friday. Yeah, Friday. Yeah, they kind of they were kind of like the second wave. I love TGA Fridays. Now if you get take out you get take out to the house. Occasionally. Yeah.

Will you plate that? Or do you eat it out of the bag? What are you doing? Why would you take it out of the box or bag? Are you cooking it all at the house? Yeah, I do cook. You're cooking. Yes. I like for breakfast this morning. I didn't eat breakfast. I fucking ER. I was at the hospital. He had a major surgery. You can't eat before you I fucking ER I was at the hospital. I had a major surgery. You can't eat before you make sure the kids what are they? trash. These are kids. nuggies. grilled cheeses. mac and cheese

out of the box old school 80s. Craft or Velveeta? Craft bitch. What is it about Velveeta? You're gonna get punched in the face. Velveeta. You like Velveeta? Oh, my step mom. I mean, we were a blue box. American like we were this. She's gonna be up. and I mean we were a blue box America like we were this she's gonna be with up We were the we were the generic craft

Family my mom. Yeah, but then my my stepmom threw Velveeta with that saucy cheese blew my dick in it was shells It was made my stomach hurt. I don't oh, yeah, I had dire I have I mean yeah I was in the house I was in and out of the hospital for stomach cramps most of my most of my young life but really were you a rice oroni fan? Too sophisticated believe it or not too hard to make. What about the nor noodles that were in like the packet? Man, you mean top ramen? Top ramen? Okay, that's my children. Ramen

and I could put an egg in it. I like to put shaky cheese on it. And that was one of my lachiki. Cheek shaky cheese course of shaky. It's my favorite kind of cheese. Let me ask you both this because I thought about this today because when when me and my wife are sick, we had to have any shaky cheese on it. When did you realize that that wasn't actual ramen? What was the first time that you put it two and two together? Oh, real ramen. This is a version of this is a fast food version of

real ramen right now. Yeah. I literally just never thought about it. Yeah. That's that was like their that's their Kraft macaroni and cheese of ramen. Hold it. You just you just blew my mind. Have you ever had ramen like real ramen? Yeah, but I don't like it because it's not top. I don't like it. You will it's in your DNA. Shake cheese or a dirt

bag. Wait, do you guys have the green craft shake cheese in your house right now? Yes, two containers because I have a backup one in case that one goes out fast. Okay, we I mean, we have to do nine more installments. Okay, let you go. Let you go. Yeah, I love all that stuff That's crazy. You got good stuff in the house too though, right? Yeah, but who cares? Flaming young the hell's that now? Tell me please tell me remember this and then I'll let you guys sure Frankenstuff hot dogs

This is the epitome Frankenstuff come I remember cheat Oscar What are you talking about? Please lift this up. This is the epitome. Frankenstuff? Come on. I remember Oscar Mayer cheese dogs. With the cheese inside. Of course. Oh man. Two of those on potato roll buns?

Goodnight. Potato roll buns? Like Meyer's potato rolls. I don't even know what that is. It's like a classier. It might be an East Coast thing. I don't know. It's like a classier bun.

I think it's East Coast. Yeah. No, they definitely have potato rolls out here. Frankenst stuffed hot dog They had the chili injected in the middle. Oh, I remember that. Oh, we talked about packaging. I remember. Oh Yeah, dude, yeah, I could eat that right now Let's go get some of those your microwave a hot dog. I assume course you do. Yeah Dog is my favorite the cheese burst out a little bit. Did they still make those dogs? I had them not too long ago

Yeah, we did we did the best way to cook a hot dog video for patreon and we did that is just a little bonus I just kind of want to win man. You know what feels like air fryer the height of sophistication want to win. You know what feels like air fryer the height of sophistication. The little hot little hot dogs in the croissant roll the pigs in a blanket. The only reason I go to weddings. Home run stuff by the door. That man little smokies. Little smokies. Shire farms. I still get those for my kids. I love when hickory farms was banging. Yes. Yeah, I still get it. No, I get the sausage rope the

Smoked turkey. Yeah, it's really good. You leak. Oh, yeah, they make them Are you doing the food shopping now, yeah, I do Instacart I get over a weekend I get shit Well, you need to be gal whole food. He's you guys they got man. Wait, hold on bagel. You walk around in there on a Saturday. I don't walk around there. I just get so straight. It's the cart. Yeah. Your bagel bites or toasting those pizza roll gal bagel by respect. Yeah, those are so good. Tarts or toaster strudels. You're gonna this is very controversial. Both. Obviously. Okay. I like plain pop tarts. I don't like

the frosted kind. That's Hey, you've proved you've proven with your track record you're I'll let that slide. That's the that's the communism and you're right. No fun before noon. What tostals toasters strudels are outstanding. I never I don't think I've ever had one that we would agree those never flew in the air was just I was that was rich kid shit does we weren't getting that We got off-brand pop darts. We got to stop. I got great value. Yeah

You know what? I loved about to toaster strudel is that it came with its own package of frosting sure and you felt like a King or queen like I get to squeeze this But the distribution started doing that with oatmeal too They gave icing for oatmeal like in the 90s remember that the kids would do the swirl around the oatmeal No, you don't remember that. I wasn't I was no I don't fuck with oatmeal. Yeah Yeah, I don't touch it. Don't touch the stuff All right guys on the trash 100% garbage. Yeah, not even close

New new queen. I mean well, I'm glad we did it now rather than two years ago Yeah, we had it all make sure our skills are sharpened and you could sniffed it out And it's been well Eleanor's pretty garbage you too, so I'm not even yeah in her company like I take that as a great But what an unbelievable life what an unbelievable tale look where you are now It's it's absolutely insane. You are the absolute best and we love you. Yeah, so much. Thank you Thanks for having me anything you want to hit the folks out there with? No, no, buy my lipstick. Christina p.com. I make some fucking dope ass lipsticks. They're not garbage. They're now. She's a greasy girl. There's a lot of class.

I love you guys. Love you. Thank you so much. Guys, check out the special February 25 on the YouTube page. Tour dates are going with shows are selling out everything available at are you garbage calm gang? We love you Christina again. We love you. I will see you next week. Peace