Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Classy Gift Guide w/ Sal Vulcano

Episode Date: October 20, 2025

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Sal Vulcano, and boy does Sal have the Gift Guide for you! You know Sal Vulcano from Impractical Jokers, stand up comedy, This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von ,the Joe Rogan Experience, Matan Even Podcast, the H3 Podcast, Stavvy's World, TigerBelly, Soder Podcast and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Better Help: Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/GARBAGE Cash App: Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/li0uni5h Factor: Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/garbage50off and use code garbage50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Direct Deposit, Overdraft Coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hear ye, hear ye, Philadelphia area and the tri-state surroundings. The boys are coming back to Philadelphia, December 13th for the biggest show we've ever done. We want to sell this puppy out at the Metropolitan Theater. Come see you. Yeah, all tickets available at RUGarbage.com. Get the homies, get the bozos, get your mom, get Aunt Tootty, get cousin Donna, get everybody, and we'll see you there. Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your

favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that it's a group to be classy. Yeah. Or just a big old piece of trash.

Pasuda. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootie's in a new edition. She just got to a big fight with the deli guy at the Acme. Oh, no. She said, slice it thin. Not thin enough. My coes is coming at you from right next to me.

He is the CEO of RU Garbage. You get what you pay for. He is an international businessman of my best pal in the whole way I want and I love him. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan. Hey, what up, gang. Shout out to you. As always seems, make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube.

Also, full video available over there on Spotify. And we're climbing the charts over there on Spotify. I always say, not the top of the charge, the meaty part of the curve where you want to We're not showing off. We're not causing a ruckus. We're just there doing well. Then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.

www. Patreon.com slash are you garbage. Go over there. You get all that bonus contact gang, 15,000 strong over there. That's right, Kippey. And gang, we couldn't be more excited

to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special. Who's in sticker shock right now? I notice fully shirt is pressed today. I just been sleeping in it. That's all. I lay on my back. I lay very still.

Gang, he's absolutely family at this point. You know him, you love him. He is currently on the Everything is Fine Tour, and you can get tickets at Salvoicano Comedy.com. November 14th, he's going to be where? Chicago Theater, baby. I thought it was a question. I didn't realize it was rhetorical.

That's big time. That's as nice as it gets to Chicago. Here's another one. December 27th is going to be there in New York City at the Bacon Theater on the Upper West Side. Let's go. That's right. December 29th.

December 29th? Day of December 27, that's not on me. Someone's getting fired. Someone's losing that goddamn head. I think it's me. And his amazing special Terrified is now streaming on HBO Max. Do yourself a favor. Give it up for the one, the only.

He might come in a little al dentee, but he's the big Z. He's giving him to Prasol O'Connell, everybody. Thank you. Look at him. It's good to be back. It's good to be in the space where I'm known as the BZ. The hair looks, it's always look good. It looks quaffed.

It looks quaffed. You got some color, too. You're looking good. Whoa, guys. Did you do plugs? What'd you do? No, I didn't color it at all. This is my hair.

He looks good, doesn't he? I had a bit of a quaff going. I did an air dry today. And then what I did, I left the house with a hat somewhere around here. It's under you. It's under your seat. Yeah, it's somewhere on. And then I just, right before, I said, you know what?

Let me do it on Natural with you guys, because you guys didn't have it. And so I took it off. But this is just air dry. Back me up on this. The hat will sometimes, it's like going to get your hair done. It's perfect. Well, this is why. Isn't it come up?

Sometimes you put a hat on, you take it off. You're like, holy shit. Yes. I'm going to have to sit this one out again. Hey, are you saying? That's the technique, though. It's like I get out of the shower. I put on a hat.

I wait for it to dry within the hat and get, like, matted down a little bit. And then I take it off. I put my hand through it and I hope for the best. It doesn't always roll in a dime. Hold on a second. Like today, you thought it was quaffed and colored. That's not what I was going for. Wait, you get out of the shower and put the hat on immediately?

Well, let me tell you. So you're walking around naked with a hat? Let me tell you. I usually don't put on a cap, a ball cap, but I put on a scully. I put on like a wool cap. This guy's nuts. I don't know it upside down down there in Staten Island. Perverted cat burglar would break them in.

You know when girls that get their hair done and they sleep with a stocking over their hair to maintain, you know? Similar vibes. What I don't want is Fris. Nobody does. No. And so I kill for Fris. Fris ruin this guy. And so I put that on and I usually do it for like the first like 15.

And then I take it off Then I let the air hit it Huh And then after about another 10 I put it back on for about another 5 Keep it guessing It's not an exact science It's not an exact science

And some days it really bites me in the ass But a lot of times it's what Does that not itch the top of the forehead? You know what I do? I push it all the way back to the line This guy's nuts So it doesn't bother my forehead at all And the hat slams full

So that's also Yeah that's a baby sheep Yeah, that's nice. That's all right. I'm not using mutton. Yeah. Whoa. That's classy and trashy.

But today you didn't do that. Today you broke out the hair dryer. No, I didn't. I let it air dry. And then I was leaving the house, I was like, oh, I made a critical error here. Because it looked like I just got a new Dyson air dry. Have you tried that Dyson air wrap? That thing's wild.

What's that all about? I got it. I got it. You dropped the Dyson. I heard it. Very good. Yeah. Very classy.

Wait, what's the air wrap? Listen, cool guys are talking over here. I'm sorry. Listen, Dyson has a huge product line, a lot of skews. And they've gotten into the air drying market. Man, first time skews been dropped on a show 500 episodes. I wouldn't want anybody, but Big Z to do it. That's it.

And Dyson, now, anything has to do with air coming in or going out. They got to cool in the market. So I got. I'm making fart machines now. You know what else I did? They have a consumer Dyson and they have a professional Dyson. And I don't know if it's like just for smoking, like just for like a, you know, like for show. but they want you to put in your information

and prove that you're a hair stylist to get that version and I just fudged it which probably anyone can do and they make you think like this is probably you remember the name genius it's like 200 more than the consumer model and I'm like I'm like you're feeling like you're getting one

I got to get the professional model because I have an inch long hand that I blow dry every six to eight months did you make up a name for the hair salon I probably did I did I think it asked you for a business salon by Sal I don't remember what it was. This was years ago.

Now, I've been doing a professional dice for years. This ain't new to me. And I remember, like, it accepted it. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm like, I have access to the professional drawing. That's pretty good. I write that off, too. I'm such a dirtbag. My wife got one.

And then I started using it to dry stuff around the house. The baby would, like, pee and I'd have to wash something. And his onesies. What is it? I'm sorry, because you're using, you're using efficiency and using it, its most functionality. I was doing it. You're not a piece of garbage for that.

I don't know. I would say that you're smart for them. It didn't feel, it didn't feel great if I'm being honest. It's 3 in the morning. I'm drying stuff with a hairdresser. I use the hair dryer for everything but my hair. Oh, interesting. We're talking paint, behole, front package.

Let me talk to you here. You should look into a diffuser. Huh. For the hair or for the body? No kidding. Yeah, because, well, at least with the dicing, if you're on the highest setting of power and the highest setting of heat, you don't want to be careful around the important parts.

Chestnuts roasting. What a diffuser does is it doesn't come out like a wind turbine. You know, it just comes out diffused. So it's like, it's like the heat is in the air. Are you working for Dyson or something? Yeah, what have you been doing for the last? I should. I should.

No, the diffuser is not strict to Dyson. That's just a, so. That's an industry term. I'd like that stricken from the record. And that could be bought by the layman as well. That's just professionals like me at Sal, at Hair by Sal. Yes. Designed by self

Designed by itself But you've got a great thing going right now So everything's falling in line The length is nice Thank you And you got a thing where it looks slick But not in a greasy way Thank you

That's the crew forming cream Oh crew, yeah A crew yeah What are you putting there? Virtue Not the signal But I went out The last time I did like a photo shooter

The lady had this one that really It looked natural Even though it was in the hair It gave me body bounce and volume, but you couldn't tell I had product in. Body bouncing volume. That's what everybody means. Pretty good. Yeah.

Not bad. But that's not in it today. Because if I don't put it in when it's just on its last leg of dampness, then it's also a travesty what happens with the dry hair and the virtue. I got you. There really is an art to it. It really is a science and an art to it. Yeah. Yeah.

We came in hot and swinging. We came in hot and swinging. Hot topics. I'm all about it. Right the best. How we do it. Also, classy guy wearing the murder. Of course.

Look at them. We're in the merch, classy guy. I try to do that with you. I saw you do it. And then I try, you got to pay it back. It's a nice gesture.

I've always been so, so humbled and appreciative that you have some of my shirts. I buy everybody's. It's nice. It's nice. And I sat down and said, one day I remember, I was like,

it hit me. I was like, I got to buy some merch from some of my buddies that, you know, I'm a fan of and all that stuff and wear it and rock it. So this is not just for you. I've worn this on Joker's.

You have. I have, yes. People send us the shots of it, yeah. You know, I've won it. I do have to say, I got stop. I was wearing the God bless your, which I love, I love the t-shirts that you use on that. Very classy. Very nice.

Not cutting corners around that. Very classy. That you got about two washes. All sales final. It's done me well. I was wearing it. This is how cool this guy is. I don't know if I ever told you this.

I was wearing it. I was at a UFC event and some guy who was like, hey. You were fighting? There's a lot you don't know about me. So we were doing well. You're in the ring. You're starting a half nod at your belly. On the card girl.

Can they ship it out of you by Rhonda Rousey? I mean, we would get beat by her, right? Oh, my God. But there's no doubt, right? Not even clown. I'm not one of those guys to be like. Is there any doubt at all? No.

Okay, 100 out of 100 times. I mean, maybe, no, maybe if I, like, got her in the spleen or something and she, you know. You don't even know where that is. No, I'm saying it'd be pure luck. I swear to God, tell me to point to it. Yeah, where's your spleen? I'm not saying I'd be going. for it, I'm just saying if I land a kidney

shot and she drops, maybe then. You don't have a brain. So you're saying there's a chance? That's with anybody. I get beat up by the girl from Queen's Gambit. I got no shot. You'd pay to have that happen. That's a good pull. She was great in weapons. No, that's, I'm thinking of the other one.

Nah, never mind. I'm thinking of the other girl. Hey, IMDB, zip it, will you? I know who you're thinking of a bit. You're thinking of the girl from the Ozarks. Yes. She was in weapons. Oh, that was a move. Yeah, it was a movie in a half. That was a movie in a half. How are they not all like that?

You want to give nothing away, but the villain, I mean... Oh, my God. I mean, number one in a long time. I haven't seen anyone play a role like that. Field of Dreams. That's where I first saw her. Uncle Buck. Uncle Buck.

She is, she needs Koboloski. She is, she needs Koboloski. I mean, at this point, I'm sorry if you didn't see it. They kept it out of the original, like, trailers and stuff, but if you haven't seen it now... They did. They kept her out of it? Yeah, they kept the character out of it. They didn't want to give that away.

They didn't want to give that away. Yeah. Yeah, what a home run. Spoiler. So you're fighting for your life. Go ahead. No. And some kid goes, I got to ask, what kind of shirt is that?

I said, oh, it's Sal Volcano, impractical Joker's fame. You know what I mean? And I go, are you a fan? And he's like, no, I've only, I saw that shirt last night. John Mayer was wearing it on state. What? Oh, nice. That's cool.

That's the kind of crew he's rolling with. John Mayer's wearing his merch. Wait, John Mayer's fighting in the UFC. C, too? Eddie shot Jimmy Walker in the lips? Wait, what's that from? That's a pull from Delirious.

Deep cut. Yeah, yeah. Man, this Big Zita keeps you guessing. I thought you were pulling from good times. Grew up on that. Shot Jimmy Walker in the lips. I don't remember that in Delirious. Yeah, it's when the uncle is drunk

and he mixes up the story and it ends up being Eddie shot Jimmy Walker in the lips. Nah, I missed that. That was the first thing that I saw. That was, I'll tell you the truth. That's the first comedy thing that I ever saw. I think maybe Bill Kazi himself might have been the first. Goes with a two.

Yeah. And then the next week, they were on HBO. I had him on cassette. My parents, my dad had him. I don't know. He let me watch him. He let me watch it. Yeah, there was the first time I had a sip of beer.

And the first time I had a fever of over 103. I don't know why they coincide together. No. Wait, I'm sorry. He watched Delirious, had a drink and a fever. My cousin, Joe, shout out to Joe Flo, was babysitting me. He had his boys over. They got delirious.

They gave me a sip of beer. You got delirious. I remember I was sitting there like this watching and all of a sudden. I don't feel well. And the fever at 103, that's delirious too. Triple delirious. Yeah, triple D. Triple Dillera.

Triple D. We'll be right back. More than 11. That's cool. Yeah. Thank you, John May. That's very nice of you. Are you boys with him?

Yeah, I know him. If you're sitting around hanging out, and will he break out the guitar and do a little something? Um, he has John that once Because he can tread I'm not like um I'm not me and him aren't attached to hip or anything

But I've known him for a very long time Not roommates He reached yeah It was a cool story actually So like um Man I want to say this is This has to be 2006 Something like that

And we put up a sketch on YouTube called John Mayor Concert Tea And it was about like Cue used to wear this John Mayor Concerts and, like, sometimes people would make fun of them for it. And so, like, we made it. We built a sketch around that.

And, like, the only way that he could, like, redeem himself was to start a fight club or whatever. Anyway, John Mayer saw this. Pretty good. On YouTube. They had it back then, too. 2006 or 20 years ago. John Mayer saw this on YouTube and reached out and wrote us an email,

found our website, wrote us directly and said, hey, this is John Mayer. I saw the t-shirt I saw the sketch and in it we used three of his songs or a few of his songs and he goes in lieu of giving me royalties for my song

I will please take one tenderloin that we were called the tenderloins I will take one tenderline tenderline shirt size XL please And that's the shirt No no that's not the show Oh That was

Man you really holly wanted that up I said yes I'll send it to you in 20 years John We'll be right back after these words from Dyson. Another D. All right. So we wrote back, how do we know, thank you, all due respect.

Jim, show me proof of life. How do we know this is you? And he did. He texted us back, he emailed us back, a picture of him holding his tablet with a picture of us on it. Whoa. How cool is that guy? Yeah, that's right. That was 2006.

That is John Marist as well. That's primetime mayor. He was very Mary. Yes. And so then we sent him a team. t-shirt and we kept in touch him then he's like we got to hang out and then he invited us out one night and we went out and i went out and got dinner with him in like l-a and then i went out and met him again in new york city we went bar hopping and uh it was just really really awesome and then

you know and then he was like so kind to like post some stuff for us like that promoting the show he used to have like a blog back then and he like it was popular and he posted about the show for us to get in between seasons one and two to help us push the thing and and and And ever since then, I've been friends with him. And he guest starred on our show, like three years ago. I love it. And that's when I gave him the shirt. And then he, that son of a bitch, took any worn on stage.

Yeah. I like the garden or something. Yeah, it was a big one. I think it was Shea Stadium, maybe. It was New York because I was in New York and the kids, like, I saw it last night. So, yeah, it was. Yeah, he's just a really, really nice guy. It wouldn't be, are you garbage if we didn't ask if you remember, you went out to dinner with John Mayer.

Who picks that check up? Who picks that check up? Who picks that checkup? Gotta be him. I don't remember who picked it up. I'm sure he... I'm sure it was probably not even brought to the table. He probably didn't even...

Somebody, yeah. But honestly, hold a spell because I'm... I'm not... I'm the guy that will... I mean, to my bare bones, insist that I get it. We know that about you. I think we might have usurped it

and then said, hey, you owe me the next one. Like that Like that Now you got him in your pocket Yeah Yeah Yeah That's all right

Respect that I like that I say he's a class You see this I'm trying to teach a young guy Yeah That's close Yeah

Yeah he bought me You bought me a shop Before I knew you as well Very nice I remember that I didn't have to do it I bought you a shop Before I knew you

Yeah We met You were by It was so we were celebrating So I think Joe DeRose's birthday Or something like that Bought me a shot They said

We did the shot And he said, I know you from your clips online. Yes, I admire you from afar. I admire you from far. I'd love to do the show. I said, you're Big Ziti. You can do it every hell you want? I remember the first time that I made you, you said, can you please get out of my car?

That's true. This is extremely awkward. That's true. Gang, this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. As you all know, world mental health day just passed. I want to say thank you to all the therapists out there, taking care of everybody. as you know Kevin and I started our mental health journeys better help best place to do it baby

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That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com slash garbage. Do it. Okay, but you're talking about Cash App. Ooh, shout out the Cash App. Our good friends at Cash App and the Cash App card. Oh, wait. The Cash App card brings you security.

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or you might be falling for a scam, it'll send you a warning before the money is sent to confirm everything looks right. Good people. Looking out for you. For a limited time, new Cash App customers can earn $10 if they use the code Secure 10 in their profile at sign up and send $5 to a friend within 14 days.

Terms apply. Cash App is a financial service platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cashab's Bank, partners prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank member FDIC discounts provided by Cash app a block ink brand visit cash dot app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures do it now back to the show back to the show no I remember like Lewis coming to me in the early days saying like these are good guys no kidding a pod and that's the first time I heard of it and I looked it up I said the pod is great I'd love to do it when I you know whenever I can and then yeah and I think

I might have seen you as well and I feel like we didn't know each other that well here because otherwise i feel like we would have been hanging out that night night i'm sure we were did you open for verzi at one of his like first special tapings in levity or something like i did yes i was i was at that and i remember seeing you and be like oh i i didn't want to like uh you're the guy that bombed and ruined verzi special tape you were great and i just you know and i didn't know you so i i guess i didn't say hello just yet but i think when he went up to you said so who canceled I was available

Very good Speaking of Mr. Verzi Was our previous guest Yes One thing we asked him that we've been asking It's a question that's come up on the show What is currently out What appliances

Are out on the On the kitchen counter right now? This is good Do you have like in it? What's out there? You know, you got an air fry You got a blender, you got a juicer You got a toaster

What are we working with? Let me talk to you about what's actually. And what do you put away? Yeah, no, okay, yeah. It's all hairdrivers. Let me talk about what's actually on the calendar. It's like a sharper image in there. They came out with a hot pink model

for breast cancer awareness month. I had to snack it up. Let me tell you about what's on the counter and then what gets put away. Yeah, because my wife, you know, she is like this is not staying on this counter. She is. Because we've been to the house. We're in tight ship.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So one of the things that's been on, it's a day one item, is a brevill espresso maker. Okay. Okay. And that's going to have the grinder. That holds the beans. It holds the beans. So we grind the beans fresh there.

Okay. It's got two ports there and it's got the steamer in there. It's got the steamer you can do the milk. It's got the steam you could do the milk. It's hooked up to the water line and all that stuff? No, no, you add water. Okay. It's fine.

It's fine. I've never been seen it added. It's like it magically does it. Now, how are you on that? Can you get the, can you foam it up? I can do it. There was a brief moment in time when I was, well, not actually, no, there was a decade where I bartended, and they had a big ass one of those there. And so I was familiar. I love that.

I really, but I'd never use it because I don't drink coffee until very, very recently. I used to only have a cappuccino after dinner at a nice restaurant. Real Italian. The only time I drank. But now in the last, I will call this three months. I've started drinking cortados. Oh, they're so good. They're as sweet as could be.

I don't add sugar. I don't know. I don't think you know what a Cortado is. Mine's bitter. I like a nice bitter, dark espresso roast. And then they put an equal part steam milk in there. And it's like, it's not as crazy as an espresso, but it's not as milked up as a latte.

A latte. A cafe latte. I'm with you. How many of those cafe lattes have you had? I also worked a very expensive espresso. machine at a place I used to work at in the Westville, snack de Verna, RIP, shout out to it. Got very familiar with all that stuff.

I would get the technique to foam the milk, and then I would lose it. It's hard. It was like I had the Iips. One week I could do it, the next week I couldn't. Cortado, foam and an espresso shot. I know. You don't know.

I'm telling you. Okay. I don't know why you got to run about this. Now, a question. That's one of the others. That's one of the others. But let's live on the espresso machine. And I have more of them for that

Sure Now you said there's a container for the bean You dumped the beans in the top In the top yeah Where are those beans living prior to being dumped in there They're in a glass jar They're in the bag Okay

And the bag is Three drawers down Not in the freezer Not to be confused with three doors down Which caught a lot of flack I was a fan of them Did they love three doors down? I forget what they say might be

It's been a while No it was stained They were three doors down was this is how you're holding my hand. Yeah. Cryptonite. My.

Criptono. Wrote that in high school in class. That guy. I saw the behind the music, whatever it was. Wrote that song at 17 in class. And you'd be surprised

how many number one hits were written by guys at the age of 17. Wow. Yep. Give me a ticket for an aeroplane. What's it called?

Give me a letter. Yes, she wrote me a letter written when he was 17. A letter? Steve Winwood, Spencer Davis Group wrote, Give me some love at 17 years old. Let me tell you. Shout out Steve Winwood.

Buddy. You and me, both. Remember that comeback in the 80s? Higher love. Roll with it, but higher love right now. Right now, yes. If I hear the beginning drumbeat, do, do, do, think about it.

I say them. Got goosebumps over here. But confirm that I have them right to second. Confirm it. Confirm it, please. Because I get it when it plays. I really do. and I just got it when I sang.

That's crazy. It was a simpler time. What were you rolling around Staten Island in around that time? What do you think? Well, when I finally got my license, you mean? Uh-huh. 1984 Silver Buick Skyhawk.

Driving around with that playing on K-Rock or something like that? Come on. Can't be it. No, they wouldn't play that on K-Rock. Easy listening. Yeah. You're going to jammy up there.

Is this because of the Cortado thing? 106.7, please. Not 92-3. No, I know what they got. You know. But no, Haya Love. I mean, it did something about it that literally makes me,

like get in like just I feel it in my bones I'm with you so Bruce Hornsby can do that to me I love him I love him but back to the kitchen yes so I got the beans down I also have an array of beans how many are we talking three four beans um I would say yeah I would say this at least three to four different brands down there and sometimes I'll pick one up on on my travels yeah are you getting any of these at the grocery store from the coffee bins no no No, I have not done that. Are they being delivered? I'm not above it.

Okay. Or I'm not even against it. I would do it. I just haven't. No, some I pick up. Some she has her staples. Uh-huh. And then some like I'll have a coffee somewhere.

I'll be like, I got to order that. Or I'll take a bag home on the road or something. Or something. Any arabica? You have any arabica beans? I believe I do. I believe I do. That's a popular bean.

It's a very popular bean. Does she? The arabica beans. Yeah. My mom like it chock full of nuts. You like it better. That's old school. That's my grand.

Grandpa and chock full of nuts. I used to have the tins. Sure. Actually, that's something that would. Oh, that's good. That would be. Diesel, get on that. Any of your grandparents do the instant coffee?

Like the folds of the, you know, the tastrous choice. The taste of choice. It was freeze dried in a bar in a jar. In the orange jar? Yeah, yeah, they did do that. That's all right. The Greeks, they do the frape, which they use the instant coffee. Okay.

That you want, that's like jet fuel. They did use it. I haven't thought of that in forever. Yeah, it's good stuff. So this, this, this product, I bought this thing, this Brevel machine. Revele's a high quality. Very high quality. Dyson Brevel.

Top of the line. This is top of the line, South. This was $600. Top of the line south. This is commercial great. My wife's got the juicer to Brevel juicer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this thing has stood the test of time.

I've had it for a decade. It's still going like day one. I love it. And, you know, I thought it was expensive when I got it, but I know these things are kind of expensive. I didn't realize it's It is expensive But compared to what you could buy

These machines go There's a consumer version Then there's professional versions But you want to get You know Jiggy with it As as Jaden Smith said You can get like

You could spend thousands And thousands of people Anywho A couple of years back I got a call from a trusted source We won't do any names Here on the podcast But I think you know who he is

Shout out to Eric Lieberman. Shut out. You're ratting him out like that. He tells me that he's got. This is crazy, dude. Whatever your housewives are, I'm in, dude. You guys bring it out of me. You were definitely twirling the phone cord when he told you this.

I'm listening. He's laying on the stomach. You got his feet up in the air. Oh, you fucking know. Oh, go on. We got to get a brevel. Are you saying a rabicabee? Continue.

You've got my attention. He tells me he's got a lead on a friends and family holiday 50% off discount at Breville. Whoa. Oh, it might have been at... That is a lead. It might have been at Breville or it might have been at... What's that really? William Sonoma.

Yes. Bang! Might have been at Williams and... Put me on the board. I think it was Brevel, though. I think it was Brevel. Take them off. It was one of those.

Big Zini, screwed me. So now... Holy Braun. This is two years... Exactly. Two years ago, Lloyd. So I got a gum guy. Is it me or is that a lot of gum?

Turns out Lloyd's phone wasn't even plugged in. Deep cut. I love Lloyd's. Oh. Two Lloyds, by the way. Two Lloyds. I like the first one, too. I was the second one guy.

Of course. He's a funny guy. The other guy was, you go looking dude. Yeah. He almost had a lane. Yeah. Hey, work for Merrick Jenkins. He did.

Yeah. Good job. Okay, sorry. So you got the call 50% off. You raised the head and get blood to the feet. What's an extremity? I mean, that guy She was out of his league

Oh, Yankee beans Yeah, Yankee beans The writer Oh, yes, yes I thought you were talking about If I could get his name If it was a multiple choice I used to be better at this

But it's been a minute He was famous I got it He was famous in the thing He was a writer Yes Luke you on this It's one of my favorite

Writer old Whatever, writer You can't look for a fire cookie That and no But it was the first time In a sitcom I remember A line being delivered Without seeing the guy

Okay It was the ambulance guy. They had, like, cut or something. And he went, who put cookies in his mouth? And it was like, I remember dying laughing at the idea that you don't get to, it's just like in the background. It's so funny. Luke, this is big go. If you find his name, I swear to God, you can give 100 names, I'll get it.

Oh, in March. Oh, and March. Oh, and March. Yes. Here's that friend. Or not died, but it suffered a stroke and a friend's upper west side of point. Yankee Bean, Yankee Bean. I love my Yankee Bean

Goosebombs Oh in March is your Steve Winwood Yankee beans This is my higher love Okay Go ahead So my brevles working fine Okay

But I go online I go online because the temptation is Oh this is recent This is after you already had the Breville This was in the last three years Okay So it was two Christmases ago All right

Okay So I look and the product line Of course has expanded They're not sitting on their values over there. They are innovating over there. They're innovating. Yes, we'll be flying around on Breville at some point. I believe that.

Yeah. I believe that. They're also expanding. So they are. They're not just, forget, throw out what you think you know about Breville. So one thing I did notice is they hold their value. There's a secondary market for them. My machine, which was a decade old, was still being sold, and it was still the price point I bought it at, which was very nice to see.

Because like a spare of sneakers or a car, you're off that lot. Depreciation is in caps. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I was like, all right, but I don't need a machine, but I think popular convention tells me that things are made to break. And even though this has been solid, I have no reason to believe it otherwise. There might be in a year or two, this thing goes south and it goes to the, you know, it goes to the espresso graveyard. Of course.

And 50% off is, you. There is no higher discount unless it's a liquidation sale. Sure. And that's not happening anytime soon with Brett. Let's just got fire damage on it. That's, no, yeah. That was a flood. That's a, I mean, maybe yard sales, you're getting up to 70%

but 50% at a major consumer is like you can't really turn your nose at that. But you're not getting 70% of a yard sale until it's around 5 o'clock that Saturday. And they got to get rid of everything. I got news for you. That's when I arrived. When the dad's just had enough? Yeah, yeah. Just take it.

I make an awful. were on every table on the tables I say I'll take the tables with them aren't you on TV you and John mayor maybe I have to deal with the Kowalski's down the street for their tables I drink your table up

so I start looking and they got they have models that go up to like 2,500 bucks now now even at 50% off $2,500 are still spent a big swing 1250. I'm like, I don't need this. Because what I have is

suffice. These new ones, they're all new fangled and new dangled, whatever, and it's touch screens. Now, I don't really love moving away from, I have analog dials. My thing looks like an old corvette. You like a chunk. You like the button. It's got like, it looks like your watch up top. Now, this one is like, touch it, touch

what you want, and everything. So, in a way, it's nice, but in another way, it's like, I don't need that. My dad always said more parts easier to break. That's right. And when you start getting electronics in that, right? Yeah. So, anyway, I still can't, I still can't not get it.

So what I do is there's a $1,000 model. It's electronic and it's one or two models up from mine. I'm saying I spend six on mine with the 50% discount. The $1,000 model is $500. I'm spending less than the original. I'm getting something worth almost double the price. I put it in storage, which I pay for. I have storage.

What? So that's already taken care of. It's not like I have to get storage because of the machine. Did you buy this for when the other one breaks? I did. What is wrong with you? Is there something wrong with them? You're rich.

They hold their value. But they hold their value. I could turn around and sell this on the open market for $9.50. Someone's like, I'm getting $50 off. I'm making $450. And that's not going to go away. I told you, $599.99 was my model that I bought 10 years prior. Take it back to Breville sell to them.

Yeah, yeah. So what can we help you with? What can sell the whole system on trial? Right. So I was like, this is a win-win. So I bought four. No. I did.

I spent $2,000 and I bought $4,000 worth of machine. Why? Well, I gave one to my friend who gave me the tip-off. He's got to wet his beat, though. He's got to wet his beat, that's right. I said to him, you know what I'm going to do? Don't buy yours because he was going to buy it. I said, I'm buying yours.

It's just, it's just what I do. It's nice. Very nice. Sweet. You getting all this. And then I bought one for me for the day that mine brings. by the way it hasn't broken yet you're doomsday prepping on espresso machines and then I bought two more because I thought they'd make really outstanding gifts to the right home and no one would ever know I got 50% off and now you're looking like well this is this is I mean 500's a nice gift but if they think I'm paying sticker price on this this is like maybe they asked me to be their godfather of the kid or something so I got so I got so I got I since I've given one I given one as a gift so one's still sitting there I give one to my manager as a gift God bless him God love him and then I got to got i still got one in the wings you know for a guy who just started drinking coffee three months

ago you're really fucking yeah i know i know i've never told this this is this is 30 grand worth of or the or the for the machinery this is an a yg excuse this is just in so i have my brevel stock is shooting through the roof right now yeah by the way can you clip this um you want to know why you're good how long have we been on the brevel machinery as the first this is the first Part of the question to the first answer. I'm good, baby. I'm doing this over here. It's crazy I had something to talk to.

You said kitchen count. I'm like fucking strap in. Let me ask you this. What happens if somehow the manager ends up at the guy who gave you the tips house. Oh, this is a beautiful. I had the same one. Where did you get this? Sal Wakana gave it to me.

Did he now? Gave me the exact same one. They do know each other. I've introduced them. Okay. Well, you should have never done that. Still spent 500 on it. He's not.

and that's a gift you go back and you look up right away so they know that that's a heavy you do that you do that you go look it up if I was given a piece of machinery like that I'd want to know more about it this is not like let me see what this person spent a little bit that's not a hundred percent of the pie chart it's not not in a pie chart it's in there it's a slice it's 50 percent so I had offered the other one to someone who told me that they actually have something like like it and they don't even have the counter space and so I acquies it to them. And so now I have one.

And now I say to you guys, what do you got here in the studio? No. No, no. That's yours. What do you got here in a studio? What do you got here? What are you working with?

We just have a standard curing. You have a curing? Yeah. No, you don't. You got a brother. You guys got a thousand dollar retail gravel coming to you. Merck comes walking in with it. Just a man, he drops it.

He's your special machine. I don't know bring this into you guys for the studio. No, get out of it. It's yours. I said it. You know, as I was saying that, I was really thinking, like, should I say this? No, you got it. I got swept up in the moment.

But you know what? It's great. It's a great story. It found a good home here. We were on the road. We're going to have a coffee shop built right next to your house. We got a one up you. My only requirement is that it sits right here on this table right in the middle of you and the guest.

That's all. That's all you got to do when it's yours. I put a qualifier on it. The second you give that to us, yours is going to break. You know that. No, I have mine. Oh, you do. This is an extra machine.

I'm giving it to you guys. I'm going to be honest with the second that gets in here, we're going to have it up on Greg's list, for sure. And you think I'm not getting cage out of this. Can you sign it with a Sharpie? I want it in here. I want you guys to enjoy it. For sure.

The guests to enjoy it and the staff to enjoy it. I love that. This is where it's coming. I love that. That's great. It's very sweet. I'll have someone deliver it from one of those apps or something. I love it.

Great. I love it. Like whatever it is, like task grabbing us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you got Uber does it, too. Or you have me on again real soon. Well, let me ask what you. I bring it myself.

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MX.com. Let me ask you, we're only at the coffee machine. Let's see what else is on the countertop. We might be in a big score here. Yeah, let's go 14 to 6. You have any sub-zero fridges laying around? I have one. It's not on the countertop. If we hear something that we happen to like better that's on the countertop, can we trade the Brevel in? The Yankee swap this.

Okay. All right. Let's see. Stay tuned. Okay. 14 to 16 inches to the right. I have a gift that my manager got me completely unrelated like two years later. Now, I'm not going to remember the brand of this thing, and I wish I, maybe you could look it up. It's a Japanese tabletop convection oven, okay? Now, this thing, it works with, you put a little water in there so that there's some steam in there. Okay. Okay, I thought, so I opened this up, and my, my, but first thing my wife says is, I don't,

Because I come home with a lot of things. Things I get sent from the place. She likes a clean countertime. So she's always like, so one time she had mentioned that she, like, she would really love to use an air fryer, but it's gargantuan and we don't have the space for it. I made the mistake of mentioning this to Joey Fetone of Insink, who he loves his airfrives. I don't mean that name drop, but like, he loves his air dryer. And he says to me, I'm sending you. He did it to me.

He said, I'm sending you one. I said, I love you. don't we don't have the counter space and I don't even I think it would be seen as in aggression I got brevles coming up to my neck I see I got brevles in storage if she sees this thing it might be we might be on the rocks

Sal's warehouse is full I'm like crazy ed I got I have so many skews so out the skews it comes the next day he doesn't even so it comes the next day and we've used it over night it does it is tucked away because that thing is like this big but okay so so I open it and she goes I can't I can't I don't want it I don't know what I think I said

I don't know I'll just calm down I looked it up I mean the reviews were through the roof looking right and what this thing does is and I know I we plugged it in so it has settings how big is it just Paul so I can get it okay right here right here kind of like a toaster oven it's like a toaster oven it's not big it's very very reason they're compact yeah it's Japanese it's all white white dials it looks like something from the future in a good way not a bad way not like a not like a apocalyptic There's not a Terminator sitting on your countertop. Yeah, it looks very simple.

Uh-huh. You know how like Apple has that aesthetic? Yes, simple. Yes. The rounded edges. Yes. So this thing has some settings. It has toast, bagel, pizza, like frozen.

And then right from there, it's got 400, 425, 425, 450. Here's the thing about this. But there's water in it and a toast? Yes. How does that work, Sal? Okay, let me tell you. So, first of all, if you're doing the, if you're doing... If you're doing three easy payments, it's a nice thing.

If you're doing, I should get the brand of this because then you have any luck that too, please. Balmuda? Yes, that's it. Boom. How do you spell that? I'll pull it up over here. I mean, that was another O in March right there.

We should be doing this on QVC. Yeah. Can I take a look at a photo of it just to confirm? That's got to be it. Balmuda, the toaster, white. 309.95, William Sonoma out the door. That's it. Okay.

Now, you say, I don't think I need this for $300. That's crazy. It's a nice gift to give. Okay. My wife tried it. Right then, I opened it, we put it on the thing. Later that night, the words came out of my mouth, I cannot live without this. What?

Okay. The Balmuda Toaster features a revolutionary technology that combines steam with precise heat control. Five unique heat modes are designed to bring out the best in any dish. You pour five cc's of water at the start of each toast, heating more rapidly than air. A thin layer steam envelopes the bread lightly toasting its surface while keeping its inner moisture and flavor from escaping. These Japanese are taking it. What's going on? I'm in.

You haven't. Look at me in the eyes, both of you. I'll put one eye here, one I hear. You haven't had toast. You've had a lot of coffee. Guys, look at me. His eyes can go different. Let's make a blood oath.

You haven't had toast. Try a cup of decap, will you? You'll get it from this thing? It makes it so that the toast is crunchy on the outside and soft and chewing inside every time. And you don't have to think about it. He's not wrong. The 400, the 4. 425 to 450, listen to the genius of this.

There's no preheating. You turn it on. It's 400 immediately. They did away with preheating. I know because I held my hand in there. So when you want to start cooking, it starts that second. Now, the 5 cc's of water is another fun thing. Because every time I go to make toast, I'm like, I need 5cc stat.

That's fun. You're doing bits. Keeps paying dividends. We're just having a good time. Keeps paying dividends. And you get it in the form of a little black mug this big. It looks like something like, you know, I feel like a giant. Uh-huh.

And then I take it and I run under the water and I pour the five C Cs in there and do it, pizza, if you're heating up a hero, anything, waffles, anything. And it's so fast and it's so good. Like a regular toaster, this is, this is not that. Do you remember what the misses had put in there that put the hook in her? What she makes? She probably made an array of items that could be toast. I don't remember specifically.

Well, they got toaster features a. sandwich bread mode, artisan bread mode, pizza mode, and pastry mode. I like that pastry mode. And guess what? I don't even, I don't even conform to what they say it is. I've tried toast on every mode. And I'll try, and don't tell me with a good time.

I've tried the waffles on pizza mode. I've tried the pizza on bread mode. I'm looking at reviews, best toaster I've ever seen, Salvaucano. That's weird. So Dyson and Bermuda. Let's just, was it Balmuda? Balmuda, yeah. Dyson, Breville, and Balmuda.

clip this for me and then you guys I'll just you know just send it to my business address Sal Volcano gave it five out of six C Cs I swear to God you said let's talk kitchen counter I got a little chubble okay so that's the toaster

that's the toaster oven that's out that's out that's constantly out that's used every day but those two things are used every day right that's the toaster the toaster oven the reheat machine that's everything yeah follow me along another four please Come on, gang

I'll be along another foot to the corner Okay Okay If you're doing a math out there We've only made it About 30 inches Yeah, yeah yeah Well, I will say

To the left of the brevel Is just a runway There's nothing there Okay There is a little sign there A little potted plant And a candle Very much

We should talk electronics So I wasn't even I wasn't even gonna bring that up I would you either Yeah You go down Is that pot of plant and orchid? It's actually a cactus

Okay Real? Yeah Yeah, we have like 60, 70 plants in the house. Nice. Yeah, I'm not responsible for any of them. Sure. Very nice.

But let me tell you something right now. It does bring, if you're not a plant household. I'm a plant household. I mean, I got green everywhere. There's a vibrancy and a livelihood that it brings in that really I really wouldn't be without 50 to 60 plants if I could help it. I was teasing you out front when you guys are talking about kids and stuff like that. I do have a money tree that literally started out about this big. Yeah.

I don't know, seven years ago. Now he's six feet tall. Isn't it wonderful? I feel is something ever, I remember this, remember this summer? You're grabbing the tree, right? I'm grabbing the tree, pushing her, grabbing a cat. She's probably knocking me out. No, when it got sick in this summer, we transported it from one pot to another and he started getting sick.

What did I do? Remember I called that guy? Yeah, you got to get sure. I got a plant expert over there. Yeah, you got to do it. I got a guy over there. Yeah, you had to. Quincy.

They had Quincy coming out. They become part of the family. If something happened to this thing, I'm going right behind it. I understand. So if he jumps, I'm jumping with him. I understand. I really do. You know what I also do on top of the plants every couple of weeks, fresh flowers?

Guys, you add some color in there. And you could buy a bundle at like Trader Joe's for like $10. Do you do this and bring the bank? I pick up flowers. I do. I pick up flowers often. She loves that. She picks them up.

I pick them. We pick them out. We'll flower household. And then I'll, and then when she brings them. breaks them in the little bunches and puts them all around. And it just really is a nice touch, an N.T. Makes a house a home. It makes a house

a home. Yeah, it makes the house living. I agree. And if you, you know, if you haven't tried, try it, and then, you know, drop a line and let us know how it was. Yeah, drop a review. Hit me up. So if you go to the corner now, we have, it's not electronics, but it is a two-tier bowl. Okay.

A two-tier bowl. Got fruit in there? What are you doing in there? We got fruit and veg and some package items like crackers. and things like that. I can't picture the two-tier bowl. So it's like, it almost, it's like a yin and a yang. It's like a metallic bowl. And then, so you can, you can like stick your hand through it.

Like it's like a wired metallic, like a, it's a rose gold, if I'm being honest. Okay. And then above that bowl is another bowl smaller like that. It's like a tiered bowl. Imagine like a hanging basket. I got it. Correct. Which would you put the fruit in the top one or the bottom one?

She does both. I tend to like to put the fruit in the bottom. Okay. Only because, okay, follow me. When it's in the top and the fruit is getting ripe and soft, because it's a wired, there's really nothing supporting the fruit if it gets soft enough to start to kind of get into the grooves of the wires.

You don't want that. Underneath the bottom one, I got some nice courts there. So if a banana or something starts to get soft, it's also resting on the courts and it's not like slipping through there and then ruining its shape and stuff like that. I got it. Courts is very nice. Thank you so much.

Yeah. So, you know, I put thought into this stuff. I put thought into it. Yeah. It's a method. And then you go a little bit right from there, and you're going to hit the left of the stove where she has a nice little station that has olive. That has olive oils and different salts and things of that nature. Sea salt.

That are ready to go, though. They're in these little, like, decorative little bowls. And so she has like a two-tier thing. Oh, she's doing pinch of salt. Yeah, she's got the stuff. She's just going. Wow. Can I ask you something?

Yeah. You got a mortar. I do, right there. I know he does. Yeah, right there. That doesn't stay out the whole time. That goes back in the thing, but it's out a lot because she's, she's pestle and fair enough. She's pestles.

Really? She pestles a fair amount. Really? What is there, too, is the thing for the spoons? Spoon rest. I know what you're talking about. Spoon rest. Yeah.

And the ladle rest. Which you know, not European. Yeah, right. I swear to God. They don't even know. They've never even seen them. Really? Every European, by every one of my wife's family or friends, different countries that have come

over go this thing's genius yeah i go how does this not made it we have they been putting down their spoons and ladles that's funny that you say that because i i told you this story i don't know if ever told sal when i was 12 i worked at our local diner gem restaurant shout out to it the best um uh mr bello who who owner operator his mother survived an earthquake in sicily came over here to i heard this story yeah did you snooze you got two stories to plant this jesus tell me more about this earthquake the plants this tall she had a spoon rest

she would come in every Sunday and she would make the red sauce for the week I was in charge of washing this thing I broke it oh yeah they can he never forgive me recently it's her favorite thing and it broke and we crazy glued it but it's not the same oh I skipped over something in between the bowl and that is a gift she got me

which is like a little chalice and it's a handmade chalice It's painted and it's really nice It's like a nice item By some like houseware designer I think of his name I could I could find it Jonathan Adler

Jonathan Adler You know Jonathan Adler? Yeah very nice Really This is basically looks like a cookie jar But it's for weed Oh Maybe type in like Jonathan Adler

Weed Is that what it's for weed? Yeah it says weed on it's Is that what you put your weed in there? Yeah, this, right there. This one right here, that's it. Oh, this one. Yeah, that's it.

Oh, that's fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very fun. Kids can't read you. You know what he would like? Made by, hand made by our friend Ryan D. Possibly, yes, of course. He makes our friend out there, Ryan makes.

Our director of operation. Self, he gave himself a title. Diops. He makes wooden spoons by hand. Carves them, lades them himself by hand. Good quality, Sal. Great. handmade and they have instead of being a full round spoon it's a sauce spoon so the edge is there's an edge to

like the top so you can scrape the bottom of the pan I need one they're not available anywhere else I need one in my life it's crazy for de glazing purposes how do I purchase it purchase purchase yeah five grand check to me I'll talk to even swap for the machine wait till Christmas on sending you a promo code 50% off you can only buy one you're not reset Yeah, it says weed on one side. You see, you see the, there's a lot of detail in that paper. This is, yeah, this is very much, oh, wow, yes, yes. Now, the other side says hash, and I don't dabble there.

There's a story on my special terrified streaming now on HBO Mac. Of course. That, where I accidentally did hash in Amsterdam, so I don't dabble that. So, okay, so then you got all those little do-dads, and then you go to-chis. Chachis. And then you go to the right side of the stove, and it's, so I don't. It's the books. It's the cookbooks.

How many you think are sitting there? Fall apart. I'll say 10. 10 cookbooks, 3 or 4, which I purchased. Really nice ones. What ones do you like?

Do you know off the top of your head? I got the, yeah, I got the Jack's wife, Frida cookbook. Famous one, just drove by that in Brooklyn not that long ago.

Oh, yeah? There's a few. Yeah, it's a really good spot. And they make this like green like sauce that she loves. And I called the place to get the,

to get the recipe so I can make it for her. And they said it's in the cooking. book and they sent me the cookbook now is that a call you yourself made it and do you say hey and salvoano because the places aren't ready i'm not saying that you would throw your name but i d on them from my socials yeah got you that me because if i called up and said hey give me the ingredients yeah yeah what the hell you're doing trying to rip me off there's a there's also a cook name a chef named molly baza she's a big fan of her and so i got her that cookbook

and then i got her tickets to see or give a speech with the new with the new cookbook autographs So that was really nice. And this girl, she's got some recipes. Yeah? Yeah. Very, she's got one that's a comfort food. Do you really? My wife has it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's big on a book. Yeah, and then some passed down ones and it's that. And then on the right next to those is like the knife magnet that's on the wall. You got the magnet? Yeah. Whoa, you got that? She got it recently and it is nice.

I love it. You're like a block, don't you? But my daughter is getting tall enough to almost reach him now. And so I am nervous. Admittedly, yeah. Sure. Yeah. You guys go to block.

It is nice. Like, I always, like, fantasize that I'm in the kitchen, doing something. I don't cook, but maybe I am in the fantasy. And, like, someone comes in, like, an intruder. Smoking a little doobie if it sounds like to make. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's where I smoke it because the fan of the oven just sucks. You're smoking weed in the kitchen?

Yeah. Well, I'm also going to smoke in the shower? Coffee machines right there. Yeah. So I fantasize that I'm like, I can cook, and then an intruder comes, and I'm like, sheing! Like, I feel it at me ripping it off. It's out of a movie.

Yeah, it's out of a movie, yeah. I've done that recently, where I've took it the knife, done that thing to try to get the, yeah, that's, you really got to do it fast. Yeah, I don't think you got it in you. I need a Foley artist. Yeah. Put a little something on there.

So that's it. So the only electronics now that I'm talking out loud that I have on the counter is the revel and the, the bottom of the Burmuda, Balbauma, Balmuda. Granite countertop? Quartz. Quartz. Quartz. I said that.

Oh, the countertop is quartz. Yes. wait a minute I thought just you had a little block of quartz underneath that the whole countertop is quartz yeah but well I mean you know I mean yes well because you could do you could do granite you could do marble you could do quartz is the best you do formica I've had four mic in my life I have for my micah most of my life sure and the side kind of side peels off you know so they side yes it does well that but you want it to peel off like that's my that's what was in my grandparents house yeah try to superglow it doesn't I could see a formica peel in this space this is it there I've got to get some like the field. But, yeah, they said it's a man-made. They sold me on it because they said if you get marble, it's more expensive and it stains. I have to pick a quartz to be more expensive, and it's man-made? I think, pretty sure they told me it was man-made.

We're making quartz now? Doing a lot. I'm making diamonds. I know. Diamonds, I guess. They started diamonds, not at courts? Maybe there's like a quartz. People actually prefer man-made courts.

Real act. There you go. What should everybody bitching about a quartz shortage for the batteries and stuff? that what I'm thinking of? Don't try to throw me trying to throw me under the bus here. Just a gotcha moments.

They're going to be ripping up his kitchen. Everyone's got to sound. Outside with a bunch of pitchforks. Don't damage the fruit. They take my cattle and a converter outside. The court's on the inside.

Picking it clean. Okay. Wow. I got to be honest with you. That was one question. That was one question. Did you think we get a pause? And it was about 55 minutes.

not even messing with you. That's my favorite thing we've ever done in my life. 100%. That's amazing. Huh. I got a couple more. Please.

Is that a volcano here? I got, you know, no hard out, so don't worry about me. Great. How frequently, this is a question is from Brendan. And this goes into, we were talking, again, with Verzi, something I was experienced. That's how it started. How frequently you ask for, like, a cash discount

if you're, like, doing something, and how do you go about that? Cash, hey, if I pay cash, can I get that? If you're talking to a guy who's, you know, he's redoing the deck and he's like, hey, it's $1,200. Yeah. And you go, hey, what is there a K is? Yeah, I would say. How do you get in that? In those instances where it's like a vendor like that, maybe doing some work or whatever, a lot of times that's offered first.

They'll give you the flag. Even if it's in a store, it's like, this is the cash price, this is that price. So they'll offer it first. I'm not someone that, like, has that in the back pocket all the time. I don't like it. doesn't make me feel nice yeah I'm not looking to get anything over on anybody per se but but also that's just being a smart consumer

sometimes they prefer it because cash is more to them I got a promo coach yeah like the guy that I use sometimes for a car service I took that offline I started just texting him and just I pay him the fee he doesn't have to give a kickback to them he gives me a lower price all that goes in his pocket God bless man you know that's smart do you have your steady guys do you have your handyman

Do you have your lawn guy or whoever? Do you got you guys all troughed off? That's the, that is the goal. I have, I have a guy, yes, I now have a new handyman guy. You call him. Yeah. Bay Rusty. God bless him.

Voitech. Voitech. Voitech. Void tech. That sounds going to go to one of your companies. Yeah, it does. It sounds like a cricket wireless or something like that, this biggest competitor. Yeah.

Only calls Albania. Yeah. My daughter is so cute because, like, like he was in the house doing a project for like a couple of weeks and um and so my daughter learned his name and she'd be like you know this is like like like literally like a 65-year-old like albanian guy and she just like wake up in the morning and he'd already be working and she'd be like hi good morning voitek you know and then like one time she'd be like dad do you want to play and i'm like yeah and she's like okay and so uh see you and you in voitek yeah she goes she goes

do you want to play like building i was like yeah she goes okay you be you i'll be voitek You sit on the couch and I'll do everything. What? Daddy does stuff too. I'll be voitech. I lost it. Oh, that's great, dude. In my head, I pictured the three of you, you Voitech and Harrison, not having it.

I told him. I told them. He loved it. Oh, man. Actually, the full story is every, like, three weeks we have a lady come to do a deep clean. Yeah. In the house, because I'm always on the road. Of course.

And with its kids, it is. Saved my marriage. Yeah. Because you come home and you're like, Avonclee, it's... Yeah, and her name is Marta. And so she said, Daddy, you want to play?

You be Marta. I'll be Voite. Handed you a toilet brush. I told Marta and Voitech. Oh, God. All right, let's see here. This is, I... We got time for one or two more.

This is from Brooks. Kentucky trash. I don't know if you're familiar with the program. You've got to grade the South on a curve. Okay. Kentucky's a little. says my family owns and operates a pawn shop growing up and my dad would always trade things

to get things paid for the kids. Most notably, he traded our orthodontist shotguns and TVs for part of our braces bill and more recently met a couple that was opening a pizza place and traded them TVs for a $1,000 gift card. Is that trash? How many TVs you got laying around?

Well, he owns a pawn shop. Oh, okay, okay, okay. So I guess he's doing what you're doing. Oh, so he would take the stuff from the store to get braces paid off. I mean, braces is nuts. That's actually, that's shotguns. Yeah, that's, I'm trying to imagine that conversation.

You're in there with the orthodontist. You're like, let me show you something. Orthodontist in Kentucky, too. So you got to, you know what I mean? It's not. Yeah. Let's come out to the trunk real quick. I want to show you some.

You see that gap in between my son's teeth? Take a look at this sawed off. I got a 12 gauge with your name on it. See those buck teeth? Saw them off and then take this saw off. A 357 can fit right through that. If you could trick it down to about a 22. I want them to do.

be able to catch a bullet in his teeth. Oh, God. Charash. Yeah, but that's, that's, again, I, he's a smart consumer. I respect that. The barter system goes back to biblical times. It is. Do you remember anything you've ever traded like that?

Uh, I mean, I'm sure I've bartered. I'm sure I've bartered. I have, but not, not in the good way. Okay. Believe it, there's a PG show. Yeah, no. We're not talking. I have a stereo in five zizzings.

five-disc CD-changer at a house down in North Carolina. The five-disc is nice. There's five-d-sall. It's still nice. Plus, I had a couple in there. Yeah. To this day, I mean, if you ever get like a CD here or there or like you find one, you're like, I don't want to listen to it.

For some reason, you get one. A lot of people don't have CD players anymore. I have one at home and it's broken. But I still have my favorite, like, 300 CDs. I didn't get rid of those. But like, if I had a five-disc changer, that would be a big-time amenity right now. To have five in there And then just shuffle it up and stuff

We're gonna get you one I can I can do you one better I'm in the market now for I bought my first car ever 95 Chevy Lumina Went back and re-bought it Cissex

For nostalgia Just for fun A bit I think it's funny Your actual car or just the type of car The same Yeah no no not the act Not the one I had

I crashed around a telephone part Okay rest in peace Right no No the one that he actually had They put that in the Smithsonian All the ladies are Fort Torres You know he had his

Fort Torres for like 30 years at that But now So now I'm in the market For cassettes Because that's I want to keep it Original

I don't want it Because people are like Oh you can get this Plug in your phone I'm like I want to be wet Whatever I have Yes

So after my 84 Buick Silobu Skyhawk The next car I had Was a Plymouth Reliant Brown K car The driver's head car

Sure The Reliant K Was there a band Called Reliant K I believe there It was Reliant K. Yeah. We were just talking about that driver's ed car.

And they had a hit too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably when I think when I was in high school maybe around them. Be my escape? No. Deathbed? No. Sadie Hawkins' dance.

Are you making these up? Who I am hates who I've loved. They had a, but it was one hit. So like if you go to their Spotify, see what's played the most. Oh, yeah, there you go. Yeah. I don't recognize any of those. Sadie Hawkins is an actor.

Was she? No, Sadie Hawkins The dance was a dance Was it? Yeah. That's like where you went. Sally Hawkins? Sophie Hawkins.

Sophie Hawkins. Sophie Bee Hawkins? Sophie B. Hawkins? Sophie B. Hawkins? Those revels. Isn't that the lady that's like when the animals are there asking you donate for the money for the animals? No.

I don't know. Is that about Jane Goodall? Sadie Hawkins. Sophie B. Sophie B. Hawkins. No. Yeah. That'll be more.

Animals. You see the rib cages. Like, if you can donate a quarter. And Sophie B. Hawkins pops up On point with Sophie B. Hawkins Oh, I remember her. Oh, that's not her.

That's, um, God damn. What's her name? Shania Twain. Cheryl Crow. Oh, it's a, yeah. This lady is when she, they play her music and when you got to donate to the dogs.

I think you're thinking of- Sarah McLaughlin. Oh, that, no, sorry. Yeah, that's who it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sarah McLaughlin. That's who, that's who the lady is with the dogs, not Sophie B. Hawkins.

Yes. Sarah McLaughlin, talk about a crush on her that I had when I was a kid. Not Hawkins, McCluck. Wow. Sarah B. Breville. Yeah. You don't like Sarah McLaughlin as a kid? That era right there, I'm going, I'm probably skewing more. Skew.

I'm skewer more Lisa Llobe. Something like that. Like the glasses. Yeah. I never realized Ethan Hawke directed that music video. Now, Ethan Hawk, I had a thing for him. Oh, of course. He's still, he's still

Gorgeous. Ethan B. Hall. Black phone, whatever it's called? Black phone, too. Two. Just saw a billboard about an hour. Yeah, that first one was great. Yeah, it was creepy.

They put that stuff, put that stuff out around October, we love it. I love it. You got to, you get the feeling for it. What about, did you see Boyhood? No. I cried. Well, I don't know. That was like 10 years?

I cry a lot. I found a great song in Boyhood by Family of the Year, a hero. Okay. It's the one where they're playing when they're in the truck together. and they're driving. I saw it in a theater. I haven't re-watched it. Gotcha.

But I sobbed for five minutes during the credits. I just looked it up and went, oh, Ethan Hawks in that. That's why you brought up. But wait, what are we looking up? Reliant K. Yeah. The hit was Be My Escape.

Oh, okay. Sing it for us. I'm kidding. Jesus Christ. Okay, well, I don't know it. But anyway, so with that car, I had, there was no tape deck. and no CD it was like it just had on a radio it just had like AM and FM right and so I used to drive around with a boom box in the front seat yeah yeah and I played all my music off a boom box in the front bench seat of that car sure I gotta be honest with it when I started this when this show was already on the air I was in my Mercury Montego the CD player was jammed and I didn't have the ox cord yeah so I would just use a like a what are they like a Bluetooth speaker yeah and I would just play it off my phone

I used to drive around with a band in my car. 12 piece. And just have them play. The keyboard is, Sal. Unbelievable. That's a big car. All right, we got to wrap it up. What a fun one.

Can I plug one other thing? I'm going to redo the plugs again. You play anything with Sal, this is your show. I have a new talk show. I got a new toaster. I have a new talk show coming out called Minoosh. You do? Yeah, yeah.

It's short for minutia. It's Minusche. Of course. The concept is really big guests, really so. small talk and it's this crazy wacky wacky podcast where we go in and now from conversation to sketch comedy. Fun. It's just something

completely different. It's me one-on-one with some really big people. It's going to be coming out late fall, early winter on my YouTube and any way you get positive. M-I-N-O-O-O-S-H-Mnoosh. This is my new project. I'm working on. We love it. I'm putting it out in 10 episode seasons. So expect the first 10 episodes to drop and then, of course, I'll look atanocom.com for, I'm always, if you

don't see your city up there, I'm adding cities every day. Is there anybody better? Like, is there any, is there any, is there any but, look, he's taking it, then the kid checking is that. There's nobody better than Sal. When it comes out, we're going to plug it again. I'll plug it when it drops. Thank you so much.

Also, maybe I come back on. Maybe I come back on my drop. I'm still waiting on his goddamn espresso machine. I'm upset and it's not here right now. When it's dropping, I'm coming back. I'm going to hand deliver the, it feels wrong. It's time to task rabbit, if I'm being honest. I'm going to hand deliver it and we'll do the minutiaeep and then that'll be that.

Also, I do have two or three of those before you come, though. Just text me. I had a PR person reach out. So you have Sal Vacano. I said, it's some of the Barrettist. S.O.B. don't text me? No, no, no.

So they're doing that. They're going rogue and they're doing everything they can. I know, Sal, lady. I always say, I feel bad because, like, everyone is texting is my friends. And I don't think that they, I hope they understand that I'm like, not like, be like, talk to this person.

Please hold from Mr. Volcano. The one time they were like, do you know Ari Schaefer? I'm like, yeah, I know Ari. It was me $40. He was on the show 35 times. They don't even know how to say his last name. Gang, everything is fine toward South. The Everything is Fine Tour.

Salvoicano Comedy.com. November 14th, Chicago Theater, November 29th. December. December 21st. We'll fix it in both. April 12th, the rhyming. Oh. Is that real?

You're making that up? No, that's real. It's real. Yeah, I'm every, I mean, I'm really, I really am in a lot of places. I'm doing Austin, February 1st. I mean, AC, I'm going down there for my annual AC. So, yeah, there's like 30 or 40 cities up. Yeah.

November 14th. Chicago Theater, December 29th, the Beacon Theater in New York City. Terrified on HBO, streaming on HBO Max now. Yes. Sal, we love you. Love you, buddy. I, can you tell how good of a time I have when I come on this show? You're the best. I love it. I love it. You have a special

thing. You have a special thing here. Kippie, what do you got for him? Guys, the big one we are plugging is the Met in Philadelphia. The boys are coming home. Our annual show. I saw Madonna there. Let's go. What? Sweat of Christ. She was out front, but still. All tickets available at are you garbage.com. It's going to be

Big one, got a lot of fun stuff playing. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week. Peace.