Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Colin Quinn!

Episode Date: May 27, 2024

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast presents stand up comedian Colin Quinn! You know Colin Quinn from stand up comedy, the Joe Rogan Experience, the Soder Podcast, the Tim Dillon Show, Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast, the Weekend Update, Long Story Short, Saturday Night Live and so much more! Make sure to check out "Our Time is Up" OUT NOW! Thanks for watching Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast. Come to a live show! Through the Roof Tour: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Rocket Money: https://www.rocketmoney.com/garbage Pretty Litter: https://www.prettylitter.com/garbage Sheath: https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gang, the boys are hitting the road for the Route 66 Tour. Just a good old-fashioned American road trip. USA, USA! We're starting in Chicago, heading to Los Angeles, and stopping everywhere in between. What's more American than the gosh darn Grand Canyon? Or the world's largest bottle of ketchup? We're gonna be doing shows in Chicago, St. Louis, Tulsa,

Oklahoma City, Albuquerque, Flagstaff, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles. All tickets available at are rugarbage.com. See you there. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley.

Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U garbage. Uh-huh. It's that little show. We sit there with your favorite comedians and we find it out to group to be classy. Yeah. After just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day.

We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. She is out scalping some Phillies tickets. Oh good for her. For last night's game. Great. My co-host is coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition She is out scalping some Phillies tickets. Oh good for her for last night's game great My co-host is coming at you slightly unamused this week right next to me. He is the CEO of are you garbage? He is an international businessman. He's my best pal in the whole wide world give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan everybody What up gang? Thanks for tuning in as always Please make sure you rate you subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are true to Roof cooking and obviously the greatest website of all time WWW dot patreon.com slash re garbage check it out It's a gosh darn party over there

And how about a nice shout out to our producer extraordinary the old magic man makes us all look good works the ones the twos the Threes and the fours he crosses the T's and he dots the I's give it up for T bone Mcscruffins Toby McMullen everybody What up boys? Hey pal. Oh, I'm stoked man, we got a legend in here. Excited and intimidated. We wouldn't be here without this guy. Of course.

New York as they come, makes me want to go dig a coffee and yell at a cab driver. Get it going. Gang, the long hair ain't lying, cause we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. He is a legendary standupup comedian actor and author and

You might have seen him in but not limited to 1987's three men and a baby. We're going back. We got the Cosby show Crocodile Dundee to married to the mob the Ben Stiller show Larry Sanders in order to Roxbury 86 episodes of Saturday Night Live including 50 episodes as the anchor on the weekend update, Windy City Heat, Grown Ups, Grown Ups 2, Inside Amy Schumer, the Jim Gaffigan show, Sandy Wexler, Crashing, Life of Beth, Remote Control, where it all started, One Night Stand, Comedian Jimmy Kimmel, Last Comic Standing, Girls, The Tonight Show, 200 episodes of Tough Crowd with Mr. Colin Quinn, Howard Stern, Carson Daly,

Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Gutfeld, Charlie Rose, 26 episode of Cop Show, which can I tell ya, talk about a home run, baby. You got Beat Bobby Flay, The View, Lights Out with David Spade, The Daily Show, Joe Rogan. He is also the author of multiple books, including The Coloring Book and Overstated, multiple stand- of multiple books, including the coloring book and overstated multiple stand-up specials including long story short

Unconventional the New York story red state blue state and he's got a brand new special out right now on his YouTube page Entitled our time is up. Give it up for the one the only a true American original. Mr. Colin Quinn everybody By the way guys you left that one credit American Original, Mr. Colin Quinn everybody. How about that? By the way guys, you left out one credit. Hit me. I threw out the first pitch 10 years ago at a Phillies game. Oh, I'm gonna... Was it a dock or did you get it?

I got it of course. I smoked it. Because, what's his name, Cole, you know... Hamels. Yeah. He said don't try to burn it. You're on the mound. You're up here.

Sure. If you try to burn it, it's going to go down. He goes, make sure you lob it a little bit. Ooh. I lobbed it right over. And then the crowd could not have been more disappointed. They wanted to boo me so badly. Yeah, that's Phillies fans for you.

Yeah. Even little kids when I was leaving, they were looking at me. Go back to New York. They get it. Well, are you Yankees or Mets Mets your Mets Okay, and it was a go get the other feelings I go cuz the Mets ever asked me sure really I mean you're a New York institution. Oh, it doesn't matter curveballs. No good Nailed it's really we always say the best one was was George Bush after 9-eleven that perfect That's what my pitch looked like

He loved it I never even thought about it till I look back mine's not even filmed Years ago, he was in the 80s it was but it was right before it was 12 years ago He's right before people started like the camera phones It was 12 years ago. It was right before people started like really... Like the camera phones and stuff. Isn't it camera phones? Yeah, damn. I know, I'm still pissed about that.

At the time, I was glad, of course. Sure. Sure. No evidence. I was afraid I was gonna pull a Gary Delabate. Papa Booey, was it a strike or not, though? Gary's it was a... No, yours.

Mine was, yeah. All right, so there you go. No, I'm saying I was scared beforehand. Of course. I saw those Heathens down there in Philly. Start throwing batteries at me. Yeah. Tear you apart. Yeah, I remember those flyers. The flyers, like when I was growing up,

in the 70s, the flyers was like famous, like. Broad Street Bullies. Yeah. Yeah. Tune you up. Oh, they were nuts. Oh, they were great. Right. That's a come-a-by. Hockey used to be all blood on the ice every game.

Sure. Brutal, man. No teeth. Those guys were nasty. Drinking. Different day. Yeah, thanks for coming by. Hockey used to be all blood on the ice every game. Sure. Brutal, man, no teeth. Those guys are nasty. Drinking. Different day, yeah, they were drinking beers. I tell you, one time we saw, they had this guy, Tiger Williams, is a famous hockey player for the Bruins back in the day,

and they had him on some show in Canada, and we were just watching Randall, and then it shows him and Dave Schultz punching each other, blood all over the place. Yeah, Dave Schultz. And then the guy was looking at him like trying to explain like how brutal it was. And he just turns to Tiger Williams like and he goes, the hammer. Yeah, the hammer.

He like he wasn't ashamed. He was like, that's what it was all about. They would do that. And then they'd own like car dealerships and like hoagie shops around the city. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were tired. They get free beers in whatever town they played in. Yeah, you're like hanging out with Larry Boa at an auto place.

Jim Fragosi? Yeah. Cameron? Uh-huh. So we know you're a New York guy. Give us the backstory on Conway Quinn. What's the origin story? Brooklyn, originally.

Brooklyn. Brooklyn. But, you know, I mean, we call it, I say Park Slope because we were Park Slope. Okay. Now, my parents are teachers. Okay. So I really don't think thatope. Okay. Now, my parents are teachers. Okay. So I really don't think that's garbage eat.

No, it's great. But, You say Park Slope, are you near the park or is that? Park Slope is like the hottest place in America right now, where it used to be 10 years ago. It was a pretty wild neighborhood. It was almost like, there was something very magic about it, I have to admit, but it got wild.

There was a lot going on in Park Slope. More so than most even Brooklyn neighborhoods, I feel like. Really? More so than like Flatbush and stuff like that? Yeah, at that time, yeah. In the 70s, early 70s. A lot of friction.

A lot of friction, but a lot of wild, it was very wild. I feel like the kids back then, you would like see movies. It's like they would just be like running down the streets with baseball bats and stuff. Yeah, well, it was very wild. I feel like the kids back then, you would like see movies. It's like they would just be like running down the streets with baseball bats and stuff. Yeah, well, it was just crazy. But it was also just like, there was a lot of, like the street, like it's so funny,

because if you go to Parks and Rec now, or go anywhere in the city, I can't afford to. The streets are empty. But when we were growing up, every street you'd be on, there was a, it sounds like everybody's playing ball, stoop ball, stick ball, all every block. Ladies leaning out the window. That's exactly what it was like. Sure. It was crazy.

That's awesome. How many brothers and sisters do you have? Two sisters, one brother, two sisters, one brother, older, younger. What was one sister older Deirdre? OK, and then David Jenner, the younger one. You're a queen. Yeah, we got the Irish names. Me and our dear and Colin. And in those days, nobody was named Colin. Now it's very popular. Yeah. Back then, Brooklyn, nobody even my dear Colin. And in those days, nobody was named Colin. Now it's very popular. Yeah, back then Brooklyn, nobody

even called you Colin. They would just be like, Hey, Collins. Just make it a last name. That's gotta be Bobby Collins over there. Exactly. And both your parents were teachers at public schools New York City. School. And but my mother, that was later. She went to college later. Okay, at the board. So

Okay, I got you. What age did they get divorced? Um, what age were they? Were you? I was probably 12 or 13. Okay, and then did you split time with them or? Yeah, I mean my father would visit us, but we lived in Manhattan. Where did he move to? To Manhattan. Okay, moved to Manhattan. And in the apartment when you guys were together, how many bedrooms was that apartment that you guys lived in a park so? Well, we lived in a house. You had a house?

A house, a proper house. No kidding. We had a house. Single family, like a row home? Well, like sort of a, no, brownstone, really. All right. Yeah, but my aunt's lived on the top. We had my two aunts on the top floor.

Okay, so it was broken up. And then we had my other aunt on the bottom floor some times, and so we lived in the two floors, sometimes three floors, but yeah. So it was broken up. And then we had my other aunt on the bottom floor some to sometimes. And so we lived in the two floors, sometimes three floors. But yeah, my aunt, my two aunts on the top floor, Margaret and Dolores were there for the whole, the whole, my whole childhood. And where was the rest of the extended family?

Like were they all? Bay Ridge. Okay, they were all in Bay Ridge. Yeah. And was this your mom's side of the family or your dad's side of the family? Which ones? The ones in the Bay Ridge.

Both of them, both of them. Really, wait. They're both from Bay Ridge. Oh, they're both from Bay Ridge. Whose side of the family were the ants that lived above you on? Well, it was my, they were very close. My mother's sister lived in the bottom floor

when she lived there. Okay. But my father's sister and her friend Dolores, they weren't lesbians, I know what you're thinking, but they were like, right, But they were like Laverne and Shirley. Oh, okay. Like they were two working both worked as secretaries. They used to call it in those days and they both would go out Friday night and have a few drinks and they were like a couple of high balls. Yeah. And there were a

couple of single gals. Yeah. And one, the, the, the aunt that wasn't my aunt smoke chain smoked in the house, Paul Maltz all day. So she would be smoking in my aunt, be complaining about the smoke. And, you know, but they lived in my home. My whole childhood. I mean, we were up there all the time. Old school as it gets. Yeah. The only thing I mean, they were the greatest, you know,

but they'd eat liver for dinner, you know, sometimes like. And then the only regret was that they would get cheese nips instead of cheese hits. And if you know anything about cheese, and then the only regret was that they would get cheese nips instead of cheese hits. And if you know anything about cheese nips versus cheese hits, it's not even a comparison. It's not even close. Yeah, we built a career around it. Most of the conversations on the show is cheese-based snacks.

Really? Yeah, we get into it a lot. Well, cheese nips are just, I don't know what their problem was, I feel like they- They're horrible. Cheese it to the way to go. Cheese it to the greatest. So that was the only problem, and I was too young, I didn't have, what do you call it? Agency, as they say now.

Sure. To go, hey, guess what? Why don't you lose this shit? Kick rocks and bring this commie stuff out of here. Get the cheeses. But that was very, we were very close to them too, yeah. Okay. And how old were you, speaking of New York, how old were you the first time you took the

subway by yourself? Well, I mean, we did it all, we did it all the time. And shit would happen all the time in the subway. I mean, but I, I probably was nine to 10. Really? I mean, we, that's how you get around. Of course. The bus, the subway. Were you going into, going into the city a lot? No, no. Because that's not that. No. Brooklyn people tend to stay in Brooklyn or used to a lot. Well, yeah, but I mean, we would go in the city, I mean, I can't really remember, but I had no business in the city.

I do, you're fucking nine years old, I got no business, none of my affairs. Hey, which way's the Diamond District? But by the time I was, but when I was nine, what we would do, now that you brought it up, I just remember, when I was nine and 10, in 11, we would take the bus to downtown Brooklyn,

which wasn't that, didn't take that long. And we'd go shoplifting, you know. Make a day of it. Yeah, we'd shoplift little items and just walk around. In those days, these big stores was called, it was a place called Maze, not Macy's, Macy's without the C, like in McDowell's. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Like May's. May's department store. And we'd go in and we'd just shoplift. What would you be taking? Little toys or whatever. I guess toy type stuff. Yeah, like little whatever.

Ever get pinched? No, they never caught us. Never been caught. We were good. Everyone who grew up in New York has a little bit of criminality. Yeah. They got a little shit. We stole aality. Yeah, we stole a little. Yeah, we'd go downtown. It was like a big thing.

I assume you were jumping the subway, too, right? You weren't paying for that. Now we were on the bus. OK. But I don't remember. I don't think we know. Did you ever ride on the back of the bus? Yeah, yeah. A couple of times. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we had to try it. I mean, you had to try it was there was like you see kids doing it.

You like, I want to try that, you know. I never went on top of the subway. Some people would do that. That was dangerous. They do that now, these kids. They do, yeah. Oh, it's bad news. It's bad news.

All right, so you're out there. You're in Brooklyn. Yeah. Parents are teachers. You're running around. Right. Stick ball, half ball. What were you playing? Stick ball. You know half ball? We play half ball. Okay. Half ball was big in Philly.

It was. Yeah, we play half ball. We played stoop ball. You know half ball? We play half ball too. Okay, half ball was big in Philly. It was, yeah, we played half ball, we played stoop ball. Well, half ball, half ball you play because when the ball was bad, then you cut it in half. Stoop ball was way, just off the stoop, like off the point. Gotcha. Stoop ball, you know, and box. Sounds like something you're playing in jail. Box ball.

The four square? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And skellies, you ever play Skellies? No. Take a bottle cap and you put wax in it and then you draw this board in the street. OK. And chalk with like 12 numbers on it. And you try to pop the other guy off out of these boxes.

You have to get one, two, three, four, five, and you hit the other cop and knock him out. Damn, that's old school. And then you beat up the weakest kid. The Puerto Rican kids are out there. The we used to play hot peas and butter. Are you Amish? That's not a thing. Hot peas and butter.

Well, you might know it is high. This Collins guy's crazy. You get a bottle cap in your screen mashed potatoes. But do you know hide the belt? It's hot. So what was do you know hide the belt? So what was happening hide the belt So everybody Swedish or something everybody has arrived. So one kid hides the belt like a real belt Yeah, okay. No like a belt. This is outside outside. Okay, somebody's y'all airy way whatever the front of the cows will buy them fire whatever and you hide in the gutter And then everybody walks down looking for the belt.

And then I forget why they would yell hot piece of it. Oh yeah, when you find the belt, you go hot piece of butter and you start, whoever finds it, whoever's, if you're further from home base, start whipping the person. And I mean, whipping. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, people would go home with black and blue cuts,

bruises, and it was like this insane game, because there's always one bully kid. Sure, one probably psychopath on the block. And they use the, of course. No, not that in. Yeah. And just whip people. He was getting hit at home,

so he was returning the favor to the kids. But it was fun. It was fun. It was fun because you get high off the idea. The adrenaline. Yeah, you could get got. So we played that. It was like Russian roulette for six years. You guys ever played Carrots and Switchblades? Yeah. It was a game called Coco-Levio. Cause you know you get high off the idea adrenaline. Yeah, you could get got so we played that

Carrots and switchblades Game called Coco Livio. You ever play ring of Livio Coco Livio. These are all games I mean, they were all probably gone by now, but but that was a big game and then um, and then Punchball everybody knows that one sure and then suicide. I think oh and then Kerbal. Yeah suicide Yeah, Kerbal. So you play off the curb gotcha try to hit like the angle off. Yeah. Yeah, right Were you ever big handball guy? That's a big New York pastime No, a lot of people had a handball, but I wasn't one of them. You know what it was Yeah, would you guys go up to met games and stuff by yourself? Were you allowed to do that? Or was it too far? No, I mean, yeah, it was too far that had to be a family thing

Well, we didn't really know no, we didn't really go to any games together, now that I think about it. Really? We went to one Knicks game when I was a kid. No kidding. And I saw like, I remember seeing, we went to a Knicks game and I remember seeing on the bench, Connie Hawkins, which was a big star back then,

on the bench, smoking a cigarette during the game. But he was like the star of the Phoenix Suns or some team. And he's sitting on the bench with his flint smoking. Cranking it. And the whole, Everyone's ripping. Everybody's smoking. People smoking cigars,

and the guys are trying to play basketball. That's crazy. The whole stadium is like, a lot of them smoking. That had to be wild for a little kid to walk in there back then. It was. Like the, old school, it to walk in there back then. It was. Like the Coliseum. It was wild and most of the games,

like most of the games, I remember the seventh game of the famous thing where they, we listened to on the radio. You didn't even watch, there was no, you couldn't watch it on TV because they had a blackout rule. Right. Where you couldn't watch local,

so you had to, for whatever reason, maybe they wanted to sell tickets to the game. You know what I mean? And they, so you'd have to listen on the radio. And they would do that where your parents, Mets fans do, and all that stuff, and Nick fans? Yeah. My father hated, because of the Yankees. You know, he was typical Brooklyn, hated the Dodger,

hated the Yankees. The Mets. He hated the Yankees. The Mets. And he was mad that Dodgers moved away. He was so mad that Dodgers moved away. I mean, you talk about it all the time. It was like 10 years early, 15 years earlier.

Oh yeah, they were all the, everybody from Brooklyn was so mad even 15 years later at the Dodgers. The old guard, yeah. They hated him. So I guess they were, that would make them Yankees fans, I guess. I guess by default, yeah. Huh. And the Mets were shit until 1969, you know.

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and conditions apply. See to site for details. Do it. What about vacations? What would you guys do? Would you go anywhere? com slash garbage terms and conditions apply see to say for details. Oh wait what about vacations what would you guys do? We go there with my cousins our cousins and us would go and they'd all our cousins would get together we have vacations together and they rent like a like a house like in like one time in Connecticut okay a beach in Connecticut one time by a beach in Connecticut. One time by a beach in Maine. And one time we went to Leprechaun Colony. It was a bunch of, it was just a bunch of like.

Little houses. Yeah, like they were like. Oh. They weren't really houses. They were more like. Sheds. They were like a shitty, like, you know, Leprechaun Colony was like out in the middle

of Long Island somewhere. It was just a crummy. Little tourist trap. Yeah, I mean it wasn't even a tour I don't know what they'll I don't describe it was like, you know, it was like a bad motel six But in those days something you went to the shot. Yeah, you have to sleep on a golf course in those days Everything was like a holiday and was like a like if you ever see was a nice joint madman Holiday and was like a really nice hotel like so it was a different standard Holiday was like a really nice hotel. So it was a different standard.

Hotels were different. But we'd go with our cousins a lot and go. And then we'd stay there for a couple of weeks. That was the vacation. Couple of weeks. That's pretty good. Couple of weeks and be my cousin. And you had the three,

we were just talking about this recently. That's what I remember. So you had me, my cousin Gail, and my cousin Peter were like the smokers. You know the little kids that would sneak away and smoke even when we were young. How young are we talking? Like 11 or 12. Okay. We're the ones that would start smoking and then the other people, we gotta tell, don't you fucking tell. You know it created a lot of bribery because you know you had to keep the little kids telling on you. Yeah yeah so that was it

yeah and what was the family car what was the family roadster um it was a uh like i think it was like a satellite like a a Plymouth i think it was an early satellite it might have been like a no ac i assume no nobody had ac in those days even Even the houses, you didn't have AC. No AC in the house, nothing. No, we had no, I remember my friend, the only reason I remember that is because my friend got AC in one room in their house, and we'd all go over there and be like, oh my God, AC.

Get a load of this. Who was in your room? Did you have your own room growing up? Me and my brother. You and your brother. Bunk beds, beds next to each other? Bunk beds, bunk beds, yeah. And how long did that stay?

How long were you in that room with him? High school? Yeah, I mean, after high school, I mean, we were just, we were there all the time. I mean, but we had our friends, like our friends would sleep over all the time. We were the sleepover house. We were the house where kids would come and hang out.

Like all our friends would come because our house was the hang spot. Were you allowed to smoke at the house or anything like that? I mean, I forget when I got permission. They used to call it getting permission. Getting permission. Were you under age? What was this?

16, 18? I don't remember. Probably 16. Probably 16. But that was a big deal telling people, hey, you shouldn't smoke. You're like, I got permission. Sure. Permission.

Smoking in the AC. I feel like you had to take permission. Yeah. You couldn't just had to take permission. Yeah. You couldn't just have it. Yeah. Okay, all right. When was the first time you got on a plane? As a kid?

Or probably into your 20s maybe? Probably 19 in those days. And I smoked on the plane, by the way. Where were you going? Had you started stand-up yet? No, no, I started stand-up. What happened was, I moved to Manhattan into an apartment. I went to college, Stony Brook, two years at Stony Brook.

And then I moved to Manhattan with a friend of mine from there to East 10th between A and Bay back when that was a wild neighborhood. It was 1980. Wild. That dude, A. Goddamn war zone. What are you talking about?

It was a war zone. That's crazy. But it was also, it was what? It was what? That's not fantastic now. It's still a little wonky now. Well, Tompkins Square Park. That Tompkins Square Park is,

that's Needle Park, right? Tompkins Square Park was. Sketchy. It's sketchy now. I remember we played basketball there, the one little section by my, where I lived. But the park was, I mean, in those days, it was all drug dealers, it was all heroin, you know?

And it was like, anyone doing heroin in 1980 was not part of society, you know? It wasn't like, you know, it got hip in the 90s almost, like before that. Heroin chic. Yeah, and I worked at this bar, the St. Mark's Bar and Grill, so it's like a famous, legendary bar

where it's in the, you ever see that video waiting on a friend with the Rolling Stones? It doesn't matter, but they shot it outside there. But it was like every night, every night, there was an all out brawl. Not just a fight, it was insane. I mean luckily I was drunk myself. But it was so crazy.

We'd find, you know, at the end of the shift, we'd open the bathroom and be a guy OD'd all the time. It was, St. Mark's Barclay was the wildest place, but it was, you know, fun. St. Mark's always had that, still kind of has that reputation for, you know, that was it. Where everything just ended up.

It was crazy. Were you going to school at the time? Were you working at the... No, I had already left school, so I decided I'm gonna be an actor. I was afraid to do comedy at that point. I was afraid to be a comedian. I was like 21, 22.

I said, I'm gonna be an actor. You're working at the bar, you're moving into Manhattan. You live over there, you're working there. You have roommates at that place? Yeah, my roommate, yeah. It was his apartment. His place and you moved in. He was shooting though, yeah.

Really? Yeah. Netflix was his, he was shooting though. His place and you moved in. He was shooting though, yeah. Really? Yeah. He was like, yeah, Netflix was his. He was shooting though. What did you have a bedroom? Was it a two bedroom? I had a bedroom. I had a little alcove in the back. OK, not bad.

But oh my god, you would just see things. But I would just walk around Manhattan. Every night I would go out after work and just go after round. I would get off work at 11, 12 o'clock at the bar. I worked at a nice bar for that time. And then I would go out and just hit all these haunts till like five in the morning. Sure, man.

And I mean, it's insane. I mean, somebody just, I'd be walking. I would love to have, I was at the Step app then. Yeah, just wandering around. Because I would just be wandering for hours. 1980s New York. Yeah. And it was just it was crazy. It was great. But I was, you know, I was a wreck. And then and then I was bartending at this one. And a few things did happen. I would sometimes end up

with giant stitches like these stitches here and things this is here. I'm getting these brawls and just be like in the hospital all beat up. Were you a fighter as a kid or did that kind of happen when you were boozing, wandering around looking for trouble? I mean, I would fight as a kid, but not like you are in it. A lot, I mean, I was one of those people that always thought that they're tougher than they are,

that they're a better athlete than they are. I just had that natural- Confidence? Delusions of grit, yeah. Which is not very Irish of you, by the way. No, it's not, but those are the, if you're gonna have it as Irish, that area would be, that would beusions of great. Yeah. Which is not very Irish of you, by the way. No, it's not. But those are the if you're going to have it as Irish, that area would be that. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

I'm tougher and more athletic. Did you play any sports growing up? I played basketball. OK. For the did you go to Catholic school or public school? Public school. What school? I.S. 88. I.S. 88. How are you on the squad? Were you good? I was the only white guy. I was very proud.

I was the white guy on the team. Okay. But I was the sixth man. Okay. But again, I thought I was like, how can I be the sixth man? I should be the starter. I should be the coach of this thing.

Yeah. I just couldn't believe it. And there were people better than me, but it was so frustrating to me that people were better. But my younger brother... This guy's fucked up. My younger brother went to cath school, and he played college ball. He was a really good ball player. No kid, where did he play college? Binghamton. Nice. But he played, he played Bishop Ford at high school and he was like, he was a great ball player. Okay. But he, that's the difference.

You could see a real athlete when you would see somebody like him, like he was young. There's always a difference. Yeah, you could just feel the difference when you would see somebody like him, like he was. There's always a difference. Yeah, you could just feel a difference. When you see somebody real, you know, versus my skills, which I was like, no, I'm good. And it's like, you know, I was like the guy, you know, like the one drug addict that's on the court. You know, he's wearing his, you know, street clothes. Sure. Yeah. I go look at him. He's got a little bit of like playing the jeans.

I was. Yeah. Like washed up at like somebody actually said to me once. He was., oh, look at him. He's got a little bit of like. Playing the jeans. I was, yeah, like washed up at like. Somebody actually said to me once, I was washed up at 13. Ha ha ha ha. You're a has been, Quinn. Okay. Yeah. Huh.

I got one. Do you remember your first concert and where it was? It was either, oh, actually it's funny you say that because it was Ravi Shankar. do you know who that is? Ravi Shankar, no kidding. He was the guy that The Beatles played with. It's Norah Jones' father. Yeah, Ali Dacotar.

And the reason it was my first concert is because I just ran into my friend, I haven't seen him since that time, we were like 12, and his sister wanted to go to a show and he was playing up in City College in Harlem. Okay. So... Which is a hike from Park Slope at that point. Park Slope and Dangerous.

Yeah. And his sister was a cute girl. So the parents made us go to escort them. As protection. As yeah, protection. Couple of 12 year old kids. 12 year old white kids made some muscle. Yeah.

And so we had to go to this concert. I remember sitting there and it was everybody sitting on the ground. He plays the sitar is a place to sit on. And so we're sitting on the ground like with the legs and even then at that age. I couldn't really open my my hips already like ruined at 12. And you were washed up. I was I was athletic at 12. I was like, yeah, I was like one of the ones like Teddy Roosevelt He's a big case of the gout

And I remember sitting there in the first two songs. I was like, this is the greatest show I've ever been I can't believe a live concert and then the third song I was like, oh my god, we get a same For another hour and I'll be honest with you to this day If I have to go to any concert, you can take me to a championship game, you can take me to a boxing, anything. If I'm there for more than 25 minutes, I'm like, I gotta get out of here.

This is repetitive. This is real laid back guy, y'all. Robbie Shankar's a wild first concert. That's a wild first concert. Wild first concert. Norah Jones' father. Yeah. But it was really, because he doesn't sing.

He just plays the sitar. So after the second song, I'm like, wow. Move along. That was like a phase, all those bands winning. They got into their Ravi Shankar phase. They would start working with him. And they would add like that into their songs and stuff like that.

Yeah. But I used to. But I've been, you know, the big concerts I went to, I saw Frank Zappa. Whoa. I saw Neil Young. I saw The Dead, you know, all these kinds I went to I saw Frank Zappa. Whoa. I saw Neil Young I said the dead you know all these kinds of shows back then is this at the garden. I Saw it at the garden. Yeah, I don't think I said that but the garden and then you go to I saw Elvis Costello with the

Palladium or The garden he's a bit. Yeah, I said I had a fight at a dead peas and butter that night I had a fight and a dead show it's impossible starting to sound like you are a fighter big guy. No. But it was this guy. I was on the aid train. I socked the guy. I was just pissed off because those guys weren't like a dead. Everybody's just so much dead. And that bothers you. That's the comic in you. That bothers you that you're at a dead concert and you're wearing a dead shirt. Everybody's wearing dead shirts. And you can't get over that. So finally I go fuck Jerry to this guy. It was fuck Jerry. Fuck the guy we all paid to see.

It was just so overkill. I was like, ah. It was driving me crazy. You know, and I was wasted of course. And we had to do a fight at a dead show. And my friend goes, you're getting a fight at a dead show. Very anti-death. He's very anti-death.

The only drunk guy at the dead show fighting a bunch of potheads. Yeah. I really can't believe. And then Elvis Costello, I literally went to see Elvis Costello. I was like, I love Elvis Costello. I'm fucking obsessed with Elvis Costello. He's fucking the greatest. This is the beginning of punk, you know, and he's like the cool like he was not completely punk, but he's like this. Edgy. Yeah. And I go to see him and he just put it out there and he went into his country phase.

We were all fucking booing. It wasn't just me. He just started to the first and he went into his country phase. We were all fucking booing. Was it just me? He just started to do a country album. Ouch. Oh, my God. I'd rather a sitar. You know what I mean? Yeah. Then he went back after that, I think. But what the hell? Did you see anything at CBGB?

Did you ever go there? Yes. I couldn't get in. They wouldn't let me in. So I got to the night with the bounce. I got to Max's. OK. But I couldn't get into whatGB. What was Max's? I tried to get into CBGB, but I forget what happened, but there was a lot of, CBGB was right in the middle of the Bowery.

Yeah. So there was like a lot of homeless, there was a lot of shit there, you know, going on. And I forget, it wasn't like a big band. It was like one of those like dead Kennedy sick fucks. These are like some of the bands at that time. But for some reason for some reason I was like I just thought I don't know what it was I was because I lived around there and I bad bartender the same or I had already in fiber st Morgz bong girl, but I still thought I was like the neighborhood

I was low you saw yeah, and I'm trying to get in and the guys like get out fuck fuck you Just I just remember standing out there cursing angrily and then going to Phoebe's that was a local. That was the local bar the Phoebe's Sound like a good time. I tell you it what in a way it was Hi was that yeah, I was like a pinball What were you drinking back then? What was your Jack Daniels Jack on the rocks? I or just whatever I mean I would drink whatever was around but but I mean, Jack Daniels, if I was going to be a gentleman, I'd start the night with a nice Jack Daniels, but not on the rocks.

No, actually I'd have a beer. Shot in the beer guy. Yeah. But not a shot, like I want a glass of Jack Daniels. Gotcha. I was always trying to get more. Had you started doing comedy yet? I was like, a little more, a little more, a little more please.

Yeah. Yeah, I'd be like, you know, Ben, I was a bartender too, so I'm like, professional courtesy. I was like hated by any bartenders. It was really interesting. I used to bartend. No, I did bartend. I know, but yeah, after you went fired. I would just look at them.

I was a bartender, I was a waiter. I thought I was like Mr. Restaurant Business. I love it. Because in those days, speaking of hockey, I, you walk, the way I would get jobs is I would walk up Third avenue, second avenue, first avenue in Manhattan, and just walk into every nice looking bar, and say, hey, I'm a bartender, here's my phone number,

here's the place I used to work, which hopefully it wouldn't go off. So, if you need a bartender, and I mean, I got jobs. Of course, out there hitting the pavement. When the owner would see your face to face, they're like, hey, this guy, you know what I mean? You cared enough to come out, take my hand, enough to try my hand how old were you during this time be 20 21 22 23 still no comedy still no comedy okay still no comedy yeah then

finally I do comedy and that's a really I mean it that's a funny story but um I'll tell you the first two times thatcom, one time I did it and it went great. First time I did comedy, the community, the MC comes up and he goes, where was it, I'm sorry? The commonship, and he goes, you're a natural, come back in a year. I go, a year? I'm a natural.

A year. So I beat him up. I'll probably be like, but no, I had had a couple of drinks at natural, but I wasn't drunk. But I was like high off the left. What year are we talking? 84, probably 83. Who was hot at the strip at that point? Was Seinfeld?

I was completely out of my mind. No, Seinfeld already moved to LA. I have no idea. I mean, I was so out of it. You were just, again, pinballing in. I'll give you my next two gigs and you'll know what we're talking about. Wait, crazy. But before we move on for on that on that first one, what did you wear? Did you wear a suit jacket? Did you dress like

a comedian? Yeah, probably. I probably will like whatever the suspenders. I used to have suspenders. I used to have a green spot on St. Patrick's Day. I had these green suspenders and like a derby like Malcolm McDowell and Clockwork Orange. I used to carry a cane. You carried a cane? Yeah. Wait, to do stand up?

No, no. This was just to go to St. Patrick's Day parade like a chilele. Like a chilele. I come in. Holy shit. You are a booze bag. I haven't heard chilele. Oh, yeah. 50 years. Oh, yeah. And, you know, I needed protection. And and then, oh, so that's so the second time.

So I'm going to just stand up. So I said, I'm going to just stand. I can't believe I can't remember this before or after the first time, I'm gonna just stand up. So I said, I'm gonna just stand up. I can't believe, I can't remember if this is before or after the first time, which was, so I go, I'm gonna do stand up comedy, I'm gonna be a comedian. I stand up the whole night before, I'm drunk, and they catch, I knew they gave numbers out of the improv at noon, but I determined to do it

this time, because I kept saying I'm gonna do it, and I kept just blowing it off. No, I'm going down. I go to the improv, the guy says, we give our numbers at three o'clock. I still remember him looking through this little window at the improv and I go, I'll come back at three. But now I'm still drunk from the night before. I go to have a couple of drinks.

I have a couple of drinks. Get your head on straight. Now I'm tired. I go, I'll never make it to three. I'm determined to do it. I'm going to buy some speed. So I go into Times Square, which you would never buy speed in times square This guy tells me oh, man rookie miss big. I go you got a tourist. He goes yellow bag. I got procane procane

This was yellow cocaine was fake cocaine, but it was supposedly at speed and it's procane. It was cold This is like own very specific to that time period anybody would know Procane if you ever mentioned to anybody, it was yellow. Anyway, we go in the hallway. I swear to God, this whole thing is true. We go in the hallway. I'm about to test it and pay door kicks open the cops. Hey, come on. You're both under arrest. I'm a comedian. Bring us, well, bring us chain, a chain of, of 10 of us,

all arrested, walking down Times Square. You ever see that Woody Allen take money around when he's up, I'm the one white guy. 10 guys walking through Times Square, because it's Sunday, so it's Times Square matinee shows. Lead us to the precinct, have us sit in there, I start going, let me go, I'm a comedian.

Oh shit. Right, let me go, I got a show. They do have confidence. I got a show. One of the cops goes, you're a comedian, let me go, I'm a comedian. Oh shit. Right? Let me go, I got a show. You do have confidence. I got a show. One of the cops goes, you're a comedian? Let's see. There's 40 guys from different task forces bringing them in

and about 15 cops, right? All of us in this room. There's a little platform. He goes, go ahead, let's see your act. I get up there. I can still see myself up there. No shit. My jokes, I'll tell you one of the jokes,

this is how unfunny it was. I go, I'm from Brooklyn, you know, every there's from Brooklyn. And I go, I'm from Brooklyn, I know you all think people from Brooklyn all wear gold chains and whatever, open shirts, that's Staten Island. Nothing. So I do a couple of jokes.

Swinging a myth. I do a couple of jokes. Swinging a myth. I do a couple of jokes. I do a couple. So I start going to the crowd a little bit. No. Hey, what are you in for? I do my jokes. Dead silence. All the guys are like, oh man. And the cops are just looking at me. And one of the cops goes, we're going to let you go. You said you're a comedian, now we know you're lying.

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Brooklyn that did comedy all the way out in Sheepshead Bay called Pips. Weird. It makes no sense but it was there for years before the improv. Anyway Rodney Dangerfield, David Brennan would go work out his material there. Gotcha, very cool. It was just this little spot and it was a comedy club. It was not a nightclub, just a little comedy club. But I go there, sign on the outside says like, you know, you know, Joey Nicolito will not be in here tonight.

Something like that, you know, Sal, you know. And I go, oh, I know there's a sign on the outside of the club. You know, it's not in the, they're not open yet. Finally they open, I go in. The owner's to get your number, I'm on like fourth. I go on stage, start doing my act. Like eight Italian guys, you know, just tattooed back, you know what I mean?

Just real hardcore guys from heaven to exit Brooklyn. So come in, just start throwing chairs around the pocket the show's over folks shows outside the shows this show sucks they go outside you know I start standing with the owner because I'm like I don't care if I get my ass kicked I'm gonna get in good with this owner so I'm backing him up cuz they're threatening him and I'm standing next to him and never meant to kick both our asses yeah way, workers, I got a show. I got a spot that Friday night. So I'm just standing with them like this. They're going, we should kick. Apparently their friend,

whoever that's on the name on the door was had auditioned the week before and they didn't pass him. So now he's outside. They got a flatbed truck on Emmons Avenue in Brooklyn, a flatbed truck, he's on the back of it going, you ever notice the... He's doing his act. He's doing his act. What's the deal with the newspaper? And here's why, here's why, I should have quit comedy right then.

It's not just me, it's not just me and like his friends. His friends are all around like, hey, this place looks so great. Like four of the customers that left are now watching the thing, were all around like, hey, this place sucks, you're great. Like four of the customers that left are now watching the thing, like kind of laughing like, hey, this is not bad stuff. They're like, okay, I guess the show's out here now. Oh, God, did you get up there?

No, no, they wouldn't let me up. I was part of the enemy. Wouldn't let a true star shine. But that Friday, he let me go on. They let me go on. At Pips. At Pips. That was a big deal. Jesus. But how crazy was that? You were not supposed to be doing comedy now, you know, there's a universe And you said no many times I'm still doing it. Yeah. No, that's really that's really the truth So then he gets sober and you really so you get you've been sober for a long time

Yeah, how old were you when you stopped drinking? Um, it was 24. So all your success was sober. It was sober. Oh, wow. Well, that was a good thing was I was so used to not drinking when I got in comedy. So there's never like, oh, I used to party. Sure. I was already not chasing a thing. Nobody was so it was like I felt like this.

But some people didn't drink. I always tell people I'm lucky I grew up in New York because New York was, the tone was set more by the Jewish comedians and they weren't like drunks. They were workers. If I had grown up, if I had started comedy in Boston, I would have died by 1985. Gotcha.

They were party animals. Yeah, wow. I would have been dead. I never thought about it like that. I realized it when I was there. I go, hey, this is kind of cool. I'm at this nightclub every night, but most of these people don't drink. Wow.

Yeah, because the Seinfelds and stuff weren't out getting wasted. Seinfelds polarized and they weren't getting wasted. They were working. No. And I realized it at the time. I go, I'm very lucky. When I went to Boston the first time, I go, oh oh thank God I was here, I'd be dead. I'd be dead.

I never would have survived. They were partying like beasts. They were getting paid in Coke. When Stand Up stood out, yeah, that's the famous documentary. They would pay you in blow. What do you want? Letty Clark would be like,

let me get an eight ball and 20 bucks. Like he would split it up. Yes get an eight ball and 20 bucks. Like he would split it up. Yes. Yes. He's got a great story. He said Lenny Clark would come down from Boston and he would just pay a guy. He's like, because you can never park.

I'd have eight spots. You can never park. Right. So I would just get a huge bag of blow and I'd pay a guy in Coke to just drive around double park out front of the clubs. So I'll run in and go do the spots and he's just getting high doing coke. So funny. That was New York comedy in the 80s. That's hilarious. But it was, thank God it wasn't. New York was surprisingly, there were a few people that did coke I guess, but it wasn't like a scene of New York comedy

that you would expect. By that time, maybe in the 70s it was more like that, but by the time I got into it, it was like really a pretty tame scene. It's pretty tame now as well, like the younger guys coming up. Yeah, but I really never thought of it like that. I had to think, the only thing I thought of it was, this is crazy, because I thought I was gonna go in and every night was gonna be like, you know, just grabbing beers and rough and tumble. Yeah. And I was so happy. I was like, these guys don't drink. Yeah. You can't see Paul Reiser ripping lines. He's got a legal passage. He's listening to a VE. He's listening to a recording. Some prop comic with a rubber duck. You're like, I don't touch stuff.

Well, those guys did do it. Like, I won't mention any. Gotta watch out for them. Well, I mean, it was well known. They're always categorized. Well, that's a different kind. That's not us. The prop acts really did a lot of. There were some guys like the road guys were animals. Sure. Road guys are the guys that are just out there working the road. Holy Christ. I remember going to gigs and just working with these guys

and going, oh, my God, you know, just one nighters. But they would just be so and they didn't need timing because they're the props. So the whole thing was just this frenetic energy with like, ah! And the crowd's like, ah! Just screaming, yeah. He's got like a phone and a sponge, you know. Yeah.

Making it work. Because Coke, if you're doing Coke and you're doing stand up, your timing will be off. Yeah. And the crowd won't be able to laugh. Yeah. Oh, that's a very astute. Props makes it, you know.

Very astute. Did you get a bump of that, that's a very props. Makes it, you know, various. Did you get a bump of that? The what you call it in you before you got pulled into the cops when they arresting him? Did you get the pro cane in you? You get a little bit at the end of the story. It's just that's probably threw you off. No, I'll tell you exactly what happened at the end of that story.

My timing's off. I'm all hopped up. The end of the story is I'm still handcuffed to the guy. They put me back with my guy. They all of us were handcuffed to each guy. They put me back with my guy. All of us were handcuffed to each other when we were sitting in the station house. Not a chain of people, me and him. Because we were arrested together. Two man act.

So the cops goes, you lucked out. I go why? They go, I'm handcuffed to the guys right here. The cops tell the tour. He goes, it's not coke. I go, you mother. Like you said, it ripped me off. Holy shit. Jesus. And then how long would remote control was that was your first break, right? That was your first. How

long have you been doing stand up before that? About three years, three years. Yeah Was that check big what was the first big what was your first you guys asked me that But they paid me for more control $100 a show Yeah, by their last season went up to 400 a show. What year we talking $400 our show 1989 and the show is huge. Show was huge. But did that get you on the road? That get you working?

Yeah, but the problem was I couldn't really, my act was just, I wasn't developed enough to really make it work on the road. It was just constantly, I'd have to work the crowd before that was even a thing. And then, I mean it was already a thing, but I'd work the crowd before that was even a thing. And then, I mean it was already a thing, but I'd work the crowd, and then I'd take pictures and sign autographs for three hours.

Because we were big, but like people would bring their kids. They wanted to see Colin Quinn. Not Colin Quinn stand up. Which was fine with me, because I really didn't have the act. So I was like, hey! I was like hey and then afterwards I did they're good what a great guy wait three hours I was like yeah, I got a money Because people would you know of course come with that kid, you know, it was like it was just all it was just crazy You know, they film that in New York or LA It was in New York and Florida we filmed in Orlando, Florida. Okay, we go Orlando, Florida. They put us up

MTV's what but they put us up at this Wait for spring break date. Is that what you were down there for? I was done every spring break too. Yeah but but but first they put us up at this apartment complex to shoot in Disneyland Orlando and The first night were there there's a like a dog day afternoon siege in one of the apartments is SWAT teams all of that. We're like, where are we? There's a siege going on with it. I'm guys, the SWAT teams are out there and everything. Like, what kind of complex is this?

But you were working for MTV when like the spring break thing was huge. It was new. It was huge. Great. We loved it. We loved it. I mean, thing was huge. It was new and it was huge. Great. We loved it. We loved it. I mean, yeah, it was amazing. Talk about old school, man. That's fucking. It was we had so much fun. All of us. It was really it was great. And we were all part.

Everybody just went out together every night. It was great. It was amazing. You know what I mean? But no booze for you. Well, that was there was a couple of nights when I always tell one story where Kenny, rest in peace, and Sam Kennison, and all these strippers in the elevator, I'm in the elevator too, and we're all going up

to Sam's suite, and I was just sitting there and I was like, if I go up there, I'm gonna do blow, and I'm gonna drink, I don't give a fuck. And then, right when we get to my floor, I still remember I was on 16, and I'm gonna drink I don't give a fuck and then right we get to my floor I still remember I was on 16 and I just go I Can't believe I'm doing this and I got out of the elevator I turned around looked and they all just looked at me like what the doors just shut man, but I

Did yeah, I would have been dead or something, you know in a Florida prison for my life Sure, I mean so I had to but it drove me crazy or high shit getting laid having a good time 20 minutes The next 20 years are different. Yeah. Yeah, I'm do there was some tough There were a couple of those but not really not as bad as you would think, you know And what was your what was your first big check the big paid? Was there like a big payday when you're like, you know. And what was your first big check? The big payday. Was there like a big payday when you were like,

holy shit, I made it? My life has officially changed. And what, any big stupid purchase? Yeah, that's why we ask. Oh. What was the first big check and then did you blow it on like, I'm getting one. But I always rented, I really did it stupidly.

I never purchased anything. You always rented. I really did it stupidly. When did you buy it first? You're not still renting, are you? No, but my family, we bought that house with a real kind of live. Great. No kidding. You bought that. You bought the brown sun that you grew up in.

No, no. One down a few blocks away. OK. And what year was that that you bought that? When I was in SNL. Do you still own it? Is MTV MTV? Oh, sure. Yeah, we own it. family still good piece of pride It's a good investment oh after MTV, which I don't think I've even ever talked about I Whatever reason Stand-up fell apart. No fall apart. I had to move back in with my mom

after your MTV MTV Your spring break My mom. After your MTV MTV. Your spring break. After spring break, taking pictures, signing autographs. I just couldn't make money. I couldn't. I didn't. I stopped doing stand up and I just had no money. What was the plan? Like something another TV show was going to come along or is that what you.

I got a writing job on Living Color. That's what that's what that's what made me bounce back. So you weren't doing stand up. I wasn wasn't doing stand-up. And you like three years? Were you what were you working? St. Mark's Bar and Grill? No but I got it. I was getting ready I was getting ready so I bought that again and um yeah because um I don't know I don't know why something I guess I just all got out of control. What were you doing for three years? I was in LA I was I just all get out of control. So what were you doing for three years? I was in L.A. I was I was in L.A.

and the money just went, you know, like if you're not working, you know, it is sure if you're not working, the money goes. Just started working. We had 15 years of not working. Yeah. But if you stop working, your money goes 10 times faster. And you are. Yeah. So I just I ran out of money. I ran out of everything.

And then you got a job on a living color writing, and then you, so you were out there during all that. Yeah. And I was writing a living color, and I was like, oh shit, I was living with a friend of mine out there. That had to be good money. Decent. I can't remember.

Better than a hundred a show. I can't imagine you in Los Angeles back then. You must have been screaming, these bagels suck. I got to try. I actually liked LA these bagels suck. I gotta try. No, no, I actually liked LA when I lived there. It was crazy, but I was there. Sun burning, screaming. Yeah, dude.

All that matters is your car. If you're in LA and you don't love your car, you're miserable. You have to love your car because you're in it all the time. Right. And now even more so, you have to love your car. What were you driving back then? I was driving a Mustang. Really? Not bad. An old-school one like in like a 67? No, a 5.0. Really? You were driving a 90s Mustang? No, like an 80, 87 or 88.

But here's how it was a nice car. Here's why. Because my friend that lived in a parking garage, they actually robbed his car. They hired his car to move it to steal the Mustang. No shit. LA car thieves know what they're looking at. Snow it. Let's get this hunk of shit Nissan out of the way. Yes!

Man. Isn't that wild? They took your car, huh? Yeah. Wow. You ever get it back? I don't, the next car I got was a Bronco. Oh!

I got the Bronco before OJ. I would hope, it'd be weird if you made that decision. It's a couple weeks lesser. Was it white, was it a white one? And then I brought the Bronco before OJ. I would hope it'd be weird if you made that decision Why was it a white one? And then I brought the Bronco to Bay Ridge and my cousin knows black my cousin goes Don't leave it overnight. You know, he was I go I'm not leaving overnight. I'm getting into 3 a.m I'm moving into 6 a.m. He goes don't leave it overnight. He grew. Yeah, he lived there. I go three hours two hours He goes, don't leave it overnight. He grew, yeah, he lived there. I go, three hours. Two hours. The cops call me, hey, is this your car? No shit. They tried to break in, they didn't get it,

but they broke the steering, the whole steering column, yeah. Because I had the club on. I just got caught, my Kia, they stole my Kia. They did? Yeah, the Kia boys. A Kia? Yeah, they're easy to steal.

Wow. He had a club. I love it. Huh? All right. Let's get into some RU garbage queues here. Sure. Let's talk about now a little bit. What kind of car you got now? I were there. No car. No car. No car. New Yorker subway, taxi, subway. Yeah. You live in the city. I live downtown. Yeah. You live downtown.

Rental property anywhere? Rental. No, you're renting now? Yes. They're all no you're renting now Yes, you're right. You're right. You're living. I told you I've been renting my whole life. Oh, that's fucking it's all in Quinn You're ready. It's garbage. Go on You should be happy wait You got a vacation house somewhere or something right something on the beach just a house in Brooklyn We rent when me and my wife rent once in a while and fire around along in the long island Man, this guy's like a metro card, dude. He is in New York. Yeah, take the subway All the time you do. Yeah took the subway up here. It did Yeah, I had to take it for the first time my like years really yesterday. It was brutal

I was broke down. Yeah, I'm on the subway at least five times a day. No I'm on so much. You only kids I'm on the subway all day, but I mean but the worst thing I was just talking about this is now you get on and if you see it Here's what you know, you're not from New York. If you see an empty seat like a bit Even though nobody's there don't sit. Yeah, or York. If you see an empty seat, like a big, even though nobody's there, don't sit there. Or it's the same as an empty drink bar. Because somebody just sat there, somebody just got off that was the smelly, it's disgusting.

Gets on your jeans. All right, so you're in an apartment downtown. Right. Okay. The first big check, what kind of soap are you using? I feel like this is like, feeling, is like I'm applying for a loan. Well, you're not going to get it. I can tell you that. You're going to be written for a long time. Oh, I'll do what kind of soap I use. Avino. OK. Nice.

And the white ones. All right. All right. And you use like a scrunchie? No, like a loofah. Just using the lotion on your hand. Yeah, that's what I do. I know it's playing with fire, but you know, you gotta do it. Hahahaha! Okay. Uh, any uh, any sort of trophies on display? Any collections?

Uh, any sort at the house? Um... Commemorative plates? State quarters? Well, there's two Emmys, but they're my wife's. Oh, okay. Pretty sweet though. Yeah.

That ain't bad. OK, that's the only acceptable trope that in an Oscar, I think. I know you're you eat right and stuff like that these days. You take care of yourself. No, if I told you my diet, you'd have me committed. But really, you got what are you doing? What's a day look like?

I mean, what's your breakfast this morning? This morning was about eggs and sausages, maybe a nice English muffin. Did you get a fly pass? What are you talking about? I did. I thought you were taking herbs and all that kind of stuff. Usually I'm good for a couple of bagels. I like to eat double bagels.

It's a place called Leo's Bagels. It's pretty amazing. Double bagels? Yeah. But no butter. I don't like the butter. There you go. Just because I don't like it.

Cream cheese? No, I like it with eggs and stuff. So you get a bacon egg and cheese or a sausage egg and cheese. Okay. Two of those? Well, two bagels, just one egg and, you know. Okay, so what, just an extra bagel? One dry bagel by itself.

That's crazy. I like dry bagels. If they're good, you know, poppy seed. Cup of coffee? Tea. Tea, Irishman. Black tea? Earl Grey? Grey black tea milk and sugar No sugar show no milk. I may be a little

Well like equal Equal okay, what kind of mayonnaise do you equals? Mostly sugar since we're being you turn this all all around. I thought you were flying straight. Yeah, no, I'm not. Well, I take my medications and I feel like, you know, what's the point of taking medication? They're not going to put them to work. Yeah, make sure that these pharmaceutical companies are earning their buck.

What do you got? Rostatin, beta blocker, lipitor? Statins. I got metapropyl. Sure. A little bit of protein. Gel. Yeah, I got a little protein. I'm glad you remember. Procane, egg and cheese. Yeah. Yeah, I got them all. Baby aspirin, of course. Take them all. I'm taking the same thing.

I got a beta blocker. I got the rostatin and all that kind of stuff. Yeah. He does three bagels. Statins are really the miracle. I like it. I know it's crazy. They're starting to use beta blockers for anxiety and shit like that. They are. Yeah. I didn't get a beta blocker unless the statin is a beta blocker. Which one's the beta? I don't think it's that.

Lipitor. I turn into old fat guy talk. Why don't you? Chicks listening, Carl. Come on. What the fuck? He's married. I'm trying to get laid here hold on what kind of what kind of mayonnaise do you use and you got helmets you got miracle my god damn grandmother's cookies the sewing kit oh no mayonnaise not only I don't like mayo I don't like I don't like mustard only any of that shit really that's why dry

bagels but it's it's funny said male because I was younger I like mayo and now for the past 30 something like I don't eat that shit. It's dairy and somebody just told me It's not there. It's all egg. You know that yeah My whole life your published author. It looks like dairy in the jar. I mean he's gookie Okay, who's cutting the hair these days? I'm going for a haircut tomorrow. Okay. Nice place, nice joint or just like a local small barber shop?

There's no local barber shops left. There are a couple. There's a couple. So you go to a salon? Yeah, of course. What do you drop on the haircut? Because you are... 140. 140? Is that tip? Because you are 140. 140.

Is that tip? Because you are, from what I hear, a very good tipper. I'm a good tipper. That's that tip. Chrissy D told us that. You're a great tipper. I can tell you that from personal experience. What?

I waited on you over in the West Village. When you were doing something at Cherry Lane. You were drunk, screaming. You were doing something at Cherry Lane. I was working at a snack taverna on the corner of Bedford and Morton. You came in. You were with somebody and you had a cup of tea. You left me a 50. Wow. Crisp 50. I'm I am a good tipper. Yeah.

Wow. Only one cup of tea. You called me fat ass when you left. I'll see you in 10 years, Tubby. One cup of tea for 50. Yeah. That's pretty. He just reassured me. You were with somebody. It was you and somebody else. It was somebody you were looking at the theater with.

Yeah, it was probably the director or somebody. It was like eight years ago, ten years ago. Yeah, it's about that. Wow. Yeah, Chris 50. Boom, there you go. Good. I can't remember if I mentioned I was a comedian or not.

You probably gave him a headshot. Yeah, probably dropped the script on the table. If you were a comedian, definitely, yeah.. Did the whole thing in an Australian accent. I'm a good tipper. Good tipper. Yeah, that's the you without the tip, right? Yeah. 140. What do you draw? What's the tip looking like? Andre. Really? He's a good tipper. All right, let me ask you this. From his waiting tables day. Somebody in the family's getting married. I don't know, somebody from the younger generation. Nie waiting tables day. Uh, somebody in the family's getting married I don't know somebody from the younger generation niece nephew. You're going to the wedding. Yeah, what are you doing? What's what's in the envelope? I don't know. That's a good question. They have a day. I mean get no one's got married

No one's gotten married yet. What do you think it would be? I? Don't mean you're doing 50 for a cup of tea I want at least 500 in there and those small bills either call what the fuck yeah five hundred grand five to a grand if you're I mean Queen who knows but I mean yeah class act. What's your credit card situation? You got an Amex? Yeah, you do What's your credit card situation? You got an Amex? Yeah, you do don't pull it out The numbers sound like a black one or anything like that or silver is it a green one of the old-school green gold gold one Okay, who do you like to fly with? Um, I don't give a shit. You don't care. You don't hate you're not another Delta card or American Airlines No, I mean I have I guess I have them but the numbers in terms of that. Do you like to fly up front?

Oh, yeah first class. Yeah I mean, I have to I guess I have them but the numbers and stuff. I don't think in terms of that. Do you like to fly up front? Oh, yeah. First class. Yeah. Always. He just lit up like my first. Yeah. Well, you can't you can't. There's not I mean, there's no point to being in first on like a small flight. That's the that's my favorite kind. It is. Yeah, because it's a dirt bag flex. It's like a big 400 bucks. Yeah.

I got 350. I don't care. Yeah. okay. We take your shoes off on a plane. Um, it was a long flight Yeah, we bring food on the plane. No, no, we have the meal on the plane sometimes sure You got name-brand luggage. What's the logic luggage or just any old thing? I don't know my wife put the luggage. Okay, see Q1. So I know old thing I don't know my wife put the luggage she put a CQ on so I know very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very That's a monogrammed ice and that's pretty good and what does she do that? She's a she sounds glad she has to a producer Yeah, produce like she deals with the ball of budgets and everything. Okay Pretty she seems classy you bite your nails or you clip the nails Bite bite. He's a notorious bite. He notoriously has been biting his hands for 30 years

Where do they go when you're when you bite him you're sitting on the years. Where do they go when you bite them? You're sitting on the couch, where do they go? Oh. They go behind the couch? What do I do with them? I don't even know, I don't know, I swear to God. They're not disposed of properly, we can assume. I would say when I click my toenails, I dispose them properly. Fingernails probably.

The fact that I don't know means they must go somewhere. Not good. How do you pronounce the word of the product that Crayola makes? Crayon. Crayon. The correct way. Is it roof or roof?

Roof. OK. Detroit or Detroit? Detroit. But it's so funny. It's such a New York thing, at least to me. My neighbor, Lippy, lives across the street from me when I was a kid, and you know, my whole life.

And he was a low-level mob guy. And he used to go, hey, killer! What's up, killer, to all of us? The Detroit mob's gonna get you. I'm calling the Detroit mob. Yeah, Detroit. My mom's a big Detroit. You're out in Detroit?

Speaking of nicknames, Detroit my mom's a big Detroit. Uh-huh. Yes, you're out in Detroit. Yeah, um do speaking of Nicknames any answer uncles growing up either connected to the family or not connected to the family Directly that had not that weren't their real name. So it would be like aunt tootie or uncle Momo Momo and re re Any that's a very right. Dirtbag thing. And Aunt Suppy and Aunt Quinny. I had a lot of Marines. I love Marines. Sure. Dorothy.

Now, Dorothy. Um, George, Jimmy. I had a lot. Well, my father had seven sisters and a brother my mother So it's like there's so many of them No, I don't think so Wow okay, do you own binoculars Maggie Margaret um don't binoculars? Yeah, no binoculars Have you ever skied in jeans? Probably yeah any jewelry or cologne other than the wedding ring good wedding ring by the way. No, thanks I used this is the substance at Los Alamos

Yeah Well, I have I have a watch I was wearing a watch and You know and then Keith Robinson of all people there's you know, it sickens me everybody this Rolex culture, Bobby and boss and these guys. And then Keith Robinson actually told me you can't wear that watch. I go, what? What? Yes, we got to wear a nice watch. Oh, it's the watch you were wearing is below Sir Colin Quinn.

What the fuck? What was it? I don't know. Shark watch. No, it looked like a decent watch to me. But he was like complaining about it. I was like, what the fuck's going on here? So no chains, no jewelry, anything like that? No, I used to wear a nice cross in the old days. Yeah, I used to wear a chain when I first started comedy.

And where are you doing the clothes shopping now? Yeah. I mean, I don't really shop, you know. You ordering online, your wife just buying stuff? Yeah, I don't buy shit. Okay. If I buy clothes, I promise you, shop, you know, you're ordering online. My wife just buying stuff. I don't buy shit. If I buy clothes, I promise you it'll be among the most unappealing items you've ever seen.

So she handles it. If I buy clothes, it's horrible. All my life, I've dressed really strangely. You know what I mean? I mean, I really have no like my color coordinate. Everything about it just makes people look good. You're put together. Well, yeah, because I don't do it myself But I remember did you pick that you didn't pick that out this morning a kid in high school

Kindu comes over twice a week Was blackhead and he goes to me. No, man, you know, that's that's a nice shirt, man He goes this is a nice cool was sitting smoking in the hole in the Festival this is a nice shirt man. It's a nice clothes He goes, but you know, they tried to explain to me like you can't you know, you can't wear stripes and plaids Yeah together too many lines. I just remember thinking like I don't know what he's talking about I don't know what he's talking about. Well like these Wild outfits, you know, like this is the 70s.

You know what I mean? And you see people dress, but I didn't realize you wear one is this way and the other one's a solid color. I thought if one's wild, both wild is even better. It's double up, yeah, it's getting crazy. And it's got big platform shoes and everything, you know. 70s, baby.

My God. So your wife gets you stuff. You throw it on. So I don't know where it's from, but it's probably, you know, it's a lot of it says J. Crew. It's not like that fast. It looks sharp. You put together sharp. Once in a while it'll be like rag and bone or something like that. Oh, fancy pants Colin Quirtovy. Don't forget where you came from.

Are you reading at night when you go to bed? Always. I love to read. Do you watch TV? Yeah. You have TV in the bedroom. I never watch TV in the bedroom because I can't fall asleep with the TV really he's on I say up all night king-size mattress No, Queen you got a queen. Yeah

Who are you I know it's strange we're really weird Queen yeah, how many pillows are on the bed Five and what do you sleep with? Three. You sleep with three. Two behind your head? No. One behind my head, one between my knees, and one I'm holding. Yeah. Man, that's perfect. That's exactly how I sleep.

That is garbage, dude. And you sleep away from your wife, I would have seen you facing out. CPAP or no CPAP? No CPAP, but I did have a CPAP for a couple of years. Okay. What happened to it? I don't know. I just kind of get C-PAP for a couple of years. Okay, what happened to it? I don't know, I just kinda get, I used it for a couple of years and I was like, ah fuck man. He doesn't remember it.

You're not supposed to just, You're not supposed to just, You're not supposed to just stop that. He is, I thought you were in New York, you're supposed to see something, you say something, God. Well, you know, after a while you're just like, ah this fucking C-PAP, you throw it in the corner and you just leave it there and you don't.

Sure. You know, it gets annoying after a while. Feeling fan, a fan on you, anything like that? Do you like it cold? And the AC AC is going. Yeah. And what do you sleep in? Undies, pajamas. You you're a pajamas guy.

Matching tops and bottoms. Cold. My wife likes it really cold. So I like to have matching. Are you? I don't know. What's that? Wait, do you wear matching? No, no. We're like just a regular shirt. Whatever. Like a T-shirt. Like a long sleeve T-shirt.

And a stocking cap and a candle. Yeah. And a lit candle always. What are you kids doing down there? Huh. Interesting. This is kind of a, been a new one for us. When you were growing up, before you were in entertainment,

who was the most famous person that you met? Did you meet any one of notes? Could've even been like a local radio guy, someone who owned a car dealership. Like it could have been like a hyper local celebrity, like a Yankee, a Met, anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, the lady from That's My Mama, which was a big show. Oh, shit, of course. She came to my junior high school and she was walking around with one of the kids.

Like, we just walk around with her and the kids like he's walking around with her We're like, holy shit him. I mean that's pretty one step below big Shirley Hempel. Well, that's exactly right Yeah, but I'll tell you who's famous from my growing up around the corner for me Lawrence Fishburne Really? I've known him my whole life and it's crazy Larry. You used to know him your whole life Well since he was a young kid, so you knew him when he went to do Apocalypse Now, he was really young. When he went to do Apocalypse Now, I didn't see him for two years.

Holy shit, that's crazy. I didn't see him for two years. And then I saw him on the bus, and he was yellow, because he had malaria. And I go, hey, I think he, I think he, but anyway, he's just telling me, I go, what have you been doing? He goes, I've been doing a movie

I'll be I was in the Philippines doing a movie with Maul and Brando and I remember telling a friend of mine later Hey, you know remember Larry Fishburne. He's crazy He thinks he did a movie he thinks he was doing a movie with Maul and Brando He was just on a bus. I saw him. It's a famous story Apocalypse Now was like it was not a disaster But it was a lot. Yeah Yeah, and he was real young and I think he lied and said he was older to get the part to go away I wouldn't be surprised. Yeah, he was great. But isn't that funny? I was like, he's crazy. I go he's nuts I remember telling somebody like he thinks he did a movie. He said he's in a movie with Marlon Brando

Yeah, did you see that when it came out? I don't think so. I can't remember. Thought he was crazy. Are you flossing every night? Oh yeah. Twice a day? Morning and night? Once.

Electric toothbrush? Regular toothbrush? Regular. Any product in the hair? Yeah. You doing that in the morning? No, I do it sometimes. Okay. Kind of, you know, I don't even know what product I use, but you do it like. You just put a little bit in there. Yeah, sure. Okay.

Huh. Do you own a tux? Yes. Fancy. You do. Do you own any? I don't fit in it. Okay.

Fair enough, but you got one. How many suits do you own? Probably a good clip. Do you own any? I don't fit in it. OK, fair enough. Well, you got one. How many suits do you own? Probably a good clip. Well, I would say I probably own two suits, maybe three suits. But in fairness to me, the most the most recent one is six years old. OK, OK. All right. Designer. I guess. I mean, yeah, I don't.

May's department store ever heard of it. Someone had to put this thing together. How do you like a rotisserie chicken? What do you mean, how do I like it? Do you like it? Do you enjoy it? I love it. You love a rotisserie chicken. Fucking great. That might be my favorite meal.

What did you do for dinner last night? Did you go out? Do you guys go out a lot, you and your wife? Do you cook at home? She cooks. She cooks? Yeah. And do you eat at the table? No, you know what I had last night? Joe's Pizza.

You did. What's your favorite pizza? What's your favorite slice? Regular, plain. No, but like in the city, place-wise. Joe's. It's the best, right? It's the best. You can go to any one of them and they're all-

Well, now we're gonna have a problem. Okay, sorry. I thought we were bonded. Even the owner knows that one's the best on Carmine Street. Sure. Because I told him once, I go, hey, I went to the Joe's and the other places too. And he goes, not as good, right? It's not as good.

It's not as good. It's not as good. It's not as good. It's not as good. It's not as good. It's not as good. It's not as good. It's not as good. I thought we were bonded. Even the owner knows that one's the best on Carmine Street. Because I told him once, I go, hey, I went to the Joe's and the other places too. And he goes, not as good. Is that the one in Father Deemo Square over there? Yeah.

OK. Gotcha. That's the best one. That's the best. 14th Street's pretty good. They're all good. Williamsburg, they all throw out a good slice. They're all good, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. That's my favorite. You can just go, it's a great New York slice. It really is. And will you guys eat at the kitchen table or will you guys eat on the couch? On the couch.

Eat on the couch. Yeah, watch TV. You have TV trays? No, we have a table right there. What are you watching? What do you and the Mrs. like to watch together? I mean, you know, she comes up with shows. We've started with COVID.

We started watching shows I never watched, Friday Night Lights, Dexter. Dexter's great. These shows are amazing. Yeah Night Lights, Dexter. The shows are amazing. Yeah. Dexter's amazing. Great television. The shows are great. I thought Dexter was going to suck.

Yeah. I was like, oh, serial killer. The guy. Cause you're an angry Irish guy. That was so good. Friday Night Lights is great. Yeah. The show's great.

Collin Quinn eating dinner on the couch. Watching Dexter. Watching TV. How funny is that? I mean, I, you know, are you currently subscribed to any magazines or periodicals? No. OK.

What are you reading right now? You said you read all the time. You read a lot. Jerusalem. It's a book about Jerusalem, the history of Jerusalem. Nonfiction you like? Nonfiction. It's amazing. I mean, it's bloody and it's brutal. And you read until you fall asleep.

You guys get in bed. The lights are on. It puts you to sleep. Yeah, it's boring if I'm watching Yeah, if you're watching something again, you say up all night and she reads to you guys she watches her iPad Yeah, so she's all the time falling asleep than me Cuz I I thought she got the three pillows working for She's only got two I mean you ever been bitten by a dog. Yes several dogs

I don't know what you're thinking Kip either do I I mean great tipper, which is good. Mm-hmm His wife's doing a shop inform. She takes care of it. He's got a tux What grocery store do you guys go to now? Where you shopping at? Whole Foods. Okay. Of course. That's pretty good. I mean, he's renting still, you're Colin Quinn's renting.

I can't believe it. No, my, yeah, financially, I mean, I couldn't call myself anything but garbageman. Financially, I really, it's been, you know, I should, if I could do it all over again I would have done what he does own the house in Brooklyn owns the Brooklyn house So I mean, I'm sure what they bought that for and what it is worked now probably triple Listen, I'm gonna go out on a limb. I'm gonna say the guys class. I I gotta be honest with you

I wish I had yeah, I think I'm right there with you with you. He walks in both worlds, I'll put it that way. He's a day and night walker. How do you get your hamburger cooked? I'm a day and night walker. Medium rare. Medium rare, okay. No, medium, no, M, this is the restaurant business talk, you know. Sure.

M slash MR. Gotcha. Medium slash medium rare. And when you're eating your burger, take a bite, do you put it back upside down with the top of the bun on the plate, or do you set it down right whilst? I don't put it down. You don't?

Until it's completely gone. Is that true? Yeah. Don't you know from my days at the restaurant? I used to watch me eat. I eat health food. I'm one of the fastest eaters you'll ever meet. Really?

Say you go out with friends, who's picking up the check? Me. You, Bobby, Keith, Voss go out to dinner. Yeah. You're grabbing it? You're grabbing it. I would never go out with those three guys. I don't think any of us have gone out since we first met each other.

You'd think we would. It would be a good thing. Oh, of course. It would never happen. You like the burger over there at Manetta Tavern? Oh my god. It's a great burger. I'll tell you what else is a great burger. The most underrated burger of all time.

The olive tree comedy seller. I think it's great food. We talk about it all the time. The burger is the best food. The burger's been great for 40 years. I wish I I wish I was able to eat and perform, but I can't. So I rarely eat. Yeah, no. The food there as a whole has always been unbelievable. The wings are phenomenal. The burger is amazing. Yeah, no good. The food there as a whole has always been unbelievable. The wings are phenomenal. The burger is amazing. And the apple pie.

I don't know if you've had any of the pies that Jen, this woman, Jen, that works there makes. I haven't know they're insane. I've seen pics. There was a chocolate one or a key line one that was floating around for a little while. I get off stage at three thirty in the morning. Yeah. So they don't really. There's no bite. We usually they're pretty late. I'm in the morning. Yeah, so

You're finished by 715 I've seen the lineups you can have a nice dinner and burger after your fucking matinee show call Meanwhile, I'm in the fucking trenches I'm bombing in the lounge and they're cleaning up the bar next door. Yeah, well, I'm really jealous of his Nate Bogatsi. This son of a bitch does stadiums at four o'clock in the afternoon. He's moving some tickets. Shout out to shout out to Nate. I mean, man, he's proper down the middle.

I got I got to call it 50-50. Mr. Colin Quinn, brand new special out right now. Our time is up on his YouTube page. Congratulations. We can't thank you enough for coming in. So such a treat. Anything else you want the folks out there to know? Oh, tour dates coming up. A website. Absolutely. That guys, if you if you if you're looking to learn how to rent for 40 years, please contact me. Don't buy. That's your biggest financial mistake.

Do you play the stock market or anything like that? You got a portfolio. Oh no. No investments. I would never play the stock market. Checking account savings account. That's it. Here's why I would never play the stock market. Because all...

That's not a gaggot. I bet sports are gonna be... But every year, Super Bowl, every year I lose. Every year. I've never won on a Super Bowl pick. So I said I don't wanna play the stock market. Sure, I would've done. I've never won on a Super Bowl pick So I said I don't play the stock market I would have been gambling that's good Oh, if I go to the track, I lose every race. Do you go to the track? We asked him if he plays the stock market goes I bet I do parlays Barley's yeah yeah you're trash what are we talking about goddamn legend I was almost out of here I thought for sure you had a nice

portfolio you're going to the trip you're betting on sports a portfolio yeah yeah I understand you had to reverse the judgment but when you bet to use one of the apps you got an old-school guy no I don't never use apps you call it a book you're calling a bookie well no I mean I used, I don't, I never use apps. You're calling a bookie. Well, no, I mean, I used to, I don't even. Oh, you don't use them. Now, if I go to the track, we have a family get together once a year.

All right, no, you're trash. Go, go, go to the track. Yeah, I mean, go on. I won't just took his shit, he's going to win. We go to the track. What track, Belmont? We go to San Jose. San Jose.

The Quinn family all goes up there. Yeah. They probably get thrown out 20 minutes later. We have a family reunion. At the track? And one of my cousins was up there. Yeah. And we go to the track every year for, you know, for the man. Travis. Holy shit. I feel like the cops in Times Square. We got you. Yeah.

Are you kidding me? They let me go. Kimby, what do you got for the guys? We're all over the road. New tour dates are announced. Are you garbage.com? Come to a live show. Gang, we love you and we'll see you next week. Peace.