Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Colum Tyrrell: Make Sure You Tip!

Episode Date: August 26, 2021

Kippy and Foley are back with old pal Colum Tyrrell! This kid is BONKOS! Its a fun one. Thanks for listening. Love youse guys!  MERCH: https://areyougarbage.bigcartel.com Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AYGLiveShows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Holy boncos kids, look out. The keep it moving tour is adding new dates. We're coming to a city near you. Come and see us, some stand up. And we play AYG at the end of the show with the crowd. We answer your garbage questions. We've got some trash so far, but I know. I know there's deeper garbage out there around the country.

So come on out and see us. Kippy, tell them what they need to know. Oh baby, we're all over the place. Timonium, Maryland, Magoobies, August 26th. Couple of crabs. Then we're going to Tejas, baby. Uh-oh. September 21st will be in San Antonio, Texas.

September 22nd will be in Houston, Texas. September 23rd through the 25th, Austin, Texas for the Moontower Comedy Festival. Look out. And I ain't done yet. August 26th will be at Dallas, Fort Worth, Texas. What? Then we're bringing it back to Long Island, baby.

What? September 30th. And then we're coming home. The boys are, the chickens are coming home to roost, baby. Hahaha. October 27th, we're going to be in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and then back down to Tejas. November 5th through the 7th for Skankfest South.

Get those tickets. The link will be in the description. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.

This is Are You Garbage. Sure is. It's a little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out they're good to be classy. Or if they're just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host H. Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're down here at Aunt Tootie's basement.

She's very excited about our guests that we have here with us today, back with us today. She wants him to take a 23 in meat test because she thinks that the families are related. Really? But I think she's just angling for some property back in the old country. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

She wants to have a place to bring people. She goes over to Ireland. She could be a lady. Could. A lord and a lady. Absolutely. Dame Aunt Tootie. Over at works.

I like it. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He's the CEO of RU Garbage. He's an international businessman. And he is not to be trifled with or taken lightly. Sure. He's kind of the head bozo around here. So do me a favor.

Make me look good. Show him a little respect. Give it up for Kevin James Ryan. Hey, gang. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube.

And as you know, those numbers are true to roof. True to fucking roof, baby. Cooking. And then, I mean, everybody knows, patreon.com. When I say fucking cooking, that thing. I mean, that's like a Viking stove over there. That's it. Aspected businessmen at this point.

We just passed over 2,100 patrons. We love everybody. A whole bunch of money every month. Thank you so fucking much. We keep that number semi-private, by the way. Guys, thank you so much. We fucking appreciate you can sign up to get bonus episodes of AYG, episodes of Heart Feelings, live streams.

You get first dibs on merch, the whole fucking nine yard. The whole shebang. And have a nice quick shout out to our producer, Rick Jordan, the magic man. He makes us all look good. I'm talking about a good kid, started after Chicago comedy scene, recent New York transplant, taking over the fucking comedy scene here in New York.

Give it up for T-Bone McMuffin, Toby McMullen. What's up, dudes? What up, T-Bone? Nothing. I'm excited, dude. We got some energy in the, this dude is the Connor McGregor of comedy. He talks hellish shit.

He'll fight a booker. I'm excited. Before he gets started, this guy's bonkers, OK? I say that about a lot of people that come in here. This guy's bonkers, and I love the shit out of him. We could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest back with us again today. If you haven't listened to his episode,

go back and check it out. Everybody loves him. Everybody wanted him on the show. We love him. We're so excited to have him here. I believe he's caught as a saying that American kids are spoiled lazy. Is that what you said about us, you cock sucker?

He's the host of The Wizard of Pod. Give it up for the one, the only, Count the Ro! Yes. What's up? What's up, buddy? It's so awkward when people build the big intro. Oh, fuck. I know.

I'm sorry. It's how we do it. I know, and I feel we should do better. And you deserve that. Oh, thank you. I appreciate it, but it's like, you're like, fuck. No, fuck. I got to come up with something here.

He's sitting there in a wet t-shirt. I'm juggling. I don't know what to do. And he said, I'm like Connor McGregor's, because I punch old man in the bar. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. His bones break easily. Yeah, yeah, I have a limp.

He's got osteoporosis. No, Connor will be back. Connor, we love you. Can he fight again? Can you fight after a dinge-ery like that? I don't know. Why am I? Physio?

I de-walk it off, Connor. Come on. He came in in a sweaty, long-sleeved t-shirt. What the fuck does he know? I know. Where were you? You were swimming in that. I was stuck on the train, man.

Oh, the train. Forget about it. No AC on that car? It was, but it wasn't good enough. Not enough. Not enough. Because sometimes you get into one of those, and it's like fucking paradise.

Yeah, sometimes you get in and out of it. Yeah, it's like the arctic or something, though. I love it. You're freezing. Go away to catch a fever, though, in the summer, going in and out of that shit. A little bit of COVID. Catch a little bit of Delta.

A little bit of Delta. There's a Lambda virus or variant, too, I heard about. What? Yeah, a new one, Lambda. Lambda? Yeah. No, this is like people's name in stars. No, it's just going up, which is, it's hot.

Is that the Orion's belt variant, I see? I got the Judy variant. Yeah, yeah, Jimmy's COVID. Jimmy's COVID. Sounds like an Irish bar. Yeah. Come on down to Jimmy's COVID, everybody. Buddy, how have you been?

Pod's going great. You're doing great. Pod's doing OK. Yeah. Man, that's the most Irish response ever. You are so fucking Irish. Listen, this time last year, I'd be delighted with my Pod-ish. Exactly.

That's what you're going to think about. But it's still loser numbers. Not are you garbage taking over the game? Oh, stop it. Taking over the game, you two. I brought a present. Can I give it to you, please? Oh, I forgot about this already.

This is for Aunt Tutty, actually. Oh, I love it. I brought a little gift, maybe, for the basement. I thought you might like it. Oh, look at that. I don't know if it's more trashy than an Irish blessing. Yes. There's about nine in my mom's house at the moment.

Oh, yeah. So it was the Irish blessing. It said, do you know it by heart? No, I never heard of it until I came to this country. Are you fucking kidding me? I swear, yeah. You don't know that one? Never heard of it in my life.

They told us that the night we went to bed. No, someone made that up on one of the coffin ships on the way over here. He was bored in Ellis Island, just rode it on the back of it. How can I rip these rubes off when I get there? I suppose I don't know what's going on. Let's say it's an old Irish blessing.

May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sunshine warm upon your face and the rainfall soft on your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of his hand. There you go. It's got a couple of fucking shots after that.

Damn. That's it. So I think it sits on a little stand. Yeah, it's got a little plate in there. It's a commemorative plate. This is our first commemorative plate. Who did you steal that from? I've been dreaming for people to bring a shit like this.

Oh, yeah? I'm fired up. Hell yeah. Yeah, no, I didn't. I bought that on Amazon. It's all roughed up. You bought it for us? Well, let's be honest.

I bought a few months ago. Taught it to be back sooner, but it's a little dusty. I told you. I told you he had beef with us. Sorry, Annie Letterman was in town. I told you he had beef with us, because when we had to reschedule the one time, because of an emergency, I said, we'll make sure we get you sooner.

That's what you said last time. No, I was joking around with Josh. But no, do you know what did happen that time? This is very funny. I never told animals. Didn't you reschedule at one point too? No, no, absolutely not. I've got no.

I was here at 8 o'clock in the morning. Well, I was driving my truck one day, because I drive trucks for a living. Quip bragging. And I got, I know. Not mine, it was a rental. I got another guy's van. I got a text from a foley over here.

And I was like, my phone's in between my legs. And I was like, hey, want to swing by a garbage tonight? Or something. And I was like, yeah, I can make it work, whatever. And so I drive home, I drop the truck back, I get changed. I come flying in, and I show up at the door. And then there's no one here. And I was like, what the hell?

But listen, then I look at the text again. Turns out you said tomorrow, not tonight. And I had misread it. And I went, ah. Well, you went to door right here? I went to door scratching like a dog. There was a little box. There was a little box for Kevin.

You were made it to this door? I made it to the door. Who let you in the building? I got to talk to security. I would have loved to know what was going through your head. I never even texted. And I went home. And then the next day, I was like, oh, yeah,

we got to cancel anyway. Oh, that makes it so much worse. Holy shit. Don't mind. Listen, I got none. How long did you wait at that door knocking? I mean, no. It's the second you guys went.

I went to text you. Because you can tell the lights aren't on too. Yeah, I knew there was no one here. I could still think you thinking that we're in here playing a trick on you. You're at the fucking pounding. That is a fucking pussies. Come out.

A huge phobia of mine is to have someone organize something for me. And then I arrive, and there's no one there. And then I get a text. And we're like, ah, you're dope. I know what we're doing next time we come back. Wait, that's what your phobia is? Yeah.

Listen to this. When I was in high school, a friend of mine, it was his birthday. And he organized a toga party. And he sends everyone like a Facebook group, toga party at Andes. Everyone arrived. And then he texts everyone individually and goes, oh,

by the way, it's not a toga party. It's a regular party. Oh my god. I'm pranking my friend, Ryan, or whatever. So we all show up. The party is advertised for eight. We all show up at seven. Ryan shows up dressed in toga.

We're all not dressed in toga. And he walks in. Toga party. And we all just laughed right in his face. And he had to spend the entire night in toga. I wouldn't have went home, dude. Fuck that. Yeah, I wouldn't have went home and changed and came back.

Yeah, well, he didn't. That's what my friend Andy wanted for his birthday, was to embarrass. What an elaborate scheme. Dude, that's like 40 text, a Facebook group. Yeah, and it was like a hidden Facebook group where it was like, don't say it. And everyone was commenting, can't wait for toga.

Just bought my sheets. Oh my god. Just good old fashioned joshin. That's it, sir. I fucking love it. I wanted to ask, I was thinking about you today. Diabolical. How do you guys feel about surprise parties?

I don't know. You think surprise parties are trash? Trash? Do you guys do them or they aren't like a fucking surprise me bunch over there? Somebody's armpits punched in the face. I've been to two. There was one from my mom, my ma, when she went 40, I think.

Went 40. Is that not how you say it? Turn. Turn 30? Yeah, when she turned 40. Now she went. She went. Sounds like she passed away.

Well, she went 92. She's gone. She's 40. That's it. Any woman over the age of 30 is gone. But yeah, so it was that. And I remember they kept their secret from me, too, because I was like a young, I was like.

I think we might have talked about this actually. Now that you bring it up. You'd run your, yeah, your little kid, you're going to tell. Yeah, yeah. Especially your mom. And then there was. Could be a setup. You don't know.

Yeah, because they said, I remember being so insulted, but they were like, I'd go up to my mom and go, hey mom, do you like surprises? And they're like, she's like, yeah. I was like, do you like birthday parties? Oh my god. What are you doing Saturday? And then I walk away going, yeah.

And then there was my cousin and her and her husband had a huge fight because like they went for a meal. And then on the way back, you know, the husband was like, hey, let's, let's pull over to our Ryans. You know? Oh, that's awesome. Like I keep saying Ryan because I don't look at you. Sure, sure, sure.

And they were in a fight. But they were, and she was like, no, I hate that pub. And he was like, no, no, it'll be good. We'll just go in and have a quick point. And she was like, absolutely not. He's like, that pub sucks. And he was like, let's just. Let's just go in for a minute.

She's like, listen, I'm tired. Let's just go home. And he was like, no. And then she's like, it's my fucking birthday. And he was like, well, we're going in. Shut the fuck up. I've been playing this shit for months. And he's like dragging her in the door and she's like,

and then she sees us all and she's like, oh, yeah. Oh my God, that's funny. I had a girl. That's fucking great. Break up with me, rightly so. Deserved it 100%. Broke up with me all my birthday at a restaurant down in the West Village.

All right, shout out to Cafe Danico, right? Or was it? Dante. You asked me like I was there. You were there in spirit. But she had planned a surprise party with all my friends at the bar I worked at. So we were going to this surprise party afterwards.

And you didn't make it through dinner to the party? That's how intolerable you are? Yeah. She made it through appetizers and was like, I have a whole night planned with this fucking idiot, but I'm out of here. But she broke up with me before we went. She broke up with me because I kept doing the stupid thing

of what's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong. Tell me, tell me, tell me. What was wrong? His personality? You just sucked? Yeah. Have you fucking hung out with him for an hour? He's the worst hang in the world, dude.

I love him to death, but he stinks. Yeah, she was not a fan in the end. I'll tell you that. Broke up with me. I think it was during the appetizers. I had a bowl of mussels red in front of me, and I wouldn't order that as an entree because I'm not a dirt bag.

Broke up with me during the dinner. And then it was like, hey, by the way, there's a party up at Martell's for you. Let's go. We have to go up there. I went up there. And did you guys face it, like walk around? Yeah, we face it, walked around,

and then she softened towards the end of the night and wanted to go home with me, but I didn't go. After she got a couple of schlitzes in there, right? Bit of room. One more run at the Red Dragon. Yes. A party gift, you know what I mean? Something for the spec bag, you know?

Yeah, it's a tough look. That's fucking great. All right, so, gang, as you know, when you sign up for a pep, whoa, what'd I do? You got dumped during the appetizer, man. So funny. Well, after knowing him, I'm surprised she even made it through the appetizer.

And also, she organized such a beautiful gift for you, rang all your friends, the two of them showed up. I like how you wedged them. That was a professional move right there. Then they told me they didn't want to see me anymore. Yeah, it was brutal. And everybody knew, too, because I walked in, I got hit by a bus, and I was like, what's wrong?

I was like, she fucking broke up with me. Dude, I would have laughed. This girl right there, she's standing beside you. That's insane. That's wild. So crazy. Yeah, I've heard of people break up at the beginning of vacations and stuff.

Oh, I could imagine. First day one, they break up, and it's like, I would go home. Are we still going to go scuba diving? I was like, yeah, scuba. Yeah, I fucking drowned you. Well, I mean, that was funny. Fucking pulled a plug on this one. Some guy did that on like a honeymoon.

He was scuba diving with his wife, and he like yanked her tank. I saw that, and then somebody else was there. Yeah, and took a picture of it. Just randomly had a picture of him swimming away from her as she's sinking. Yeah. Yeah, and they caught, it was like a date line,

2020 or whatever. Upload and Tinder. Saw one recently of a guy, apparently took a photo of his girl on the cliff. He was like, no, let's go for a hike. And then he saw that one too. Real close. And he was like, no, no, no, you're good.

I can't get the horizon. It's not good. And then apparently someone said, because they saw like a bit of a scuffle. So he was like, he took a photo of her, went over to her. She gave her a good old shove down the mountain. And his defense was going to be, I took a picture, then she fell.

She slipped, but then he took a picture, walked up, and then tried to toss it. But there were some hikers or something. They said like it didn't look right. Yeah, yeah, it wasn't adding up. That's also what happens, dudes, throw their wives off fucking cruise ships all the time. Yeah, they just toss them.

I don't get it. Why kill somebody? You got heat coming. Just break up. It's international waters. That's the best place to do it. Hey, you got an interval looking for it. Listen, it's not, I get it.

I get it. I get it. Of course, I get it. But you can't actually do it. Of course, yeah, it's one of those things. He actually did it. It's like Goodwill Humping when you show up and your friend is gone.

This is something you mention, you dream of. Every day I wish you, every day I wish to throw you off a fucking cruise ship, lady. Best part of my day. Jerry had the balls to do it. Jesus fucking Christ, guys. All right, so as you know, I'm sorry. No, please.

Please, please, please, please, please. As you know when you sign up for the Patreon. We will answer your garbage question on air with a guest or with a family episode of me and foliage. That's just the best way to do it because we have so many fucking submissions. And we're working through the backlog. We're almost through it, to be honest with you.

Good stuff. So here we go. Let's see. This brings up vacations and stuff. This is from Brian, first time question. When staying at a resort, is it garbage to bring your own beer down to the pool and not order from the bar?

What's the beer? I guess. Depends. I got heady IPAs over there. What's happening? Yeah, you bring some Bud Lights. That's very trashy. Yeah, I think, I don't know.

Rolling with a cooler is a tough look. 100% it's fucking garbage. You can't do that. I still get that from a server's point of view. It's like, that's his section. Can't let people fucking show it. It's like bringing your own food into a restaurant. It clearly states you got to order from the fucking server.

You can't show what you're showing. I mean, if there's a, I think it's a gray, I think you can bring your own beers. Not if you're just like lounging beside the pool, like you're lounging. You're not in the bar area. You're at the pool area. True.

I mean, I think if they offer, if they offer alcohol service at the chairs, yeah, that's a scumbag move. I don't know. All right, you're going. I'm going to go trashy, too. But I'll do it. Yeah.

Yeah, well, that's a thing. I'm not apologizing. The thing is, yeah, it's not the classiest move, but it's also like, a lot of times in waitresses, don't get on Timmy as quick as I need him, right? Especially a hot day. I need some beers. If I'm drinking, I'm drinking, and I drink them quick.

I'm waiting around on their fucking. Do you still blast them off with a 20 or something just to keep paying? Don't worry about it. No way. No, get the fuck out of here. I'm not paying them. I'm doing their job.

I barely tip when they give me something. Are you tight with the tips? No, no, I'm stupidly. Yeah, we were boozing the other night, and he was fucking down. No, I knew her. I used to work in a bar right beside the lady that was serving us, so I couldn't. I couldn't.

I saw her. You know, it was horrible. I saw her, and I was like, hey, so good to see you. And she walked away, and then I just realized how much I'm going to have to tip. I went, fuck. Yeah. There goes the dub skin.

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That's boxofawesome.com, promo code Garbage. 20% off your first box. Now back to the show. What about in Ireland though? We don't tip at all. Yeah, Ireland, no. There's no tip. Most of Europe doesn't tip.

No, we tip taxi drivers for some reason. And then we do tip waitresses and stuff. You'll never tip at the bar and you throw, but it's change. If you order a drink and it's $5.60, you let them keep the change. That's it. Especially if they bring it to you.

Like there's a waitress, but it's not really a waitress. It's more like you just gotta go there to understand. It's like a lounge girl. Is that because they're getting paid? They're getting paid in higher wage? Yeah. It's just like 15 an hour or 12 an hour.

It's not in the culture. What is funny is Irish people move here. They don't tip originally because they don't realize. But then as soon as they realize, they tip way too much. Because we have a real stigma in Ireland to be cheap. Really? Huge stigma.

If you're cheap, all the time people listen to soldiers they're like, yo, you're a cheap fuck. Really? My wife is German. Her mom came and then we went out to dinner and they tip the same thing, but like a couple of bucks on like a dinner. And she didn't leave enough.

And I was like, fuck, I gotta, because she didn't know. I was like, I gotta say something. And I'm like, I was like, hey, babe, she's gotta leave like 20 bucks. And she was leaving like, whatever it was, I don't know. That's where you stepped in. It was like a $96 man.

And she goes, here's a hundred. Yeah, just because in her, that's what they do. I freak out. And she goes, she was like, I was like, oh, and she's like, no, I'm like, we have to pay her more. She's like, she just was having trouble like, I don't understand why I have to give her this person $20. And I was like, well, they only really make like $250

and $2.50 an hour. And she was like, what? I was like, yeah, she's like, that's impotent. She's like, that's illegal. I'm like, no, that's what they get paid. They work primarily on tips. And then she was like, oh, here's like another fucking 50 bucks.

50? Or whatever. She went heavy fucking handed. They just don't know when you come here that you're only making $2. So you're living solely off tips. Can I say this? Sure.

You're still going out to dinner with your wife and her mother and she and the mom's paying? It was like a treat. And this was last year. The Euro, yeah, this was like well over here. The Euro stretches over here. Yeah, does. It's better than the dollar.

Not for long, baby. Man, fucking P.D. the Patriot over here. Jesus Christ. Meanwhile, he's wearing Spanx. All right, ladies and gentlemen. No, I'm not. It's a girdle. And it's prescribed.

It's medical. That makes it better. A girder, maybe. Yeah. It's got fucking prescription clothes on. I got a trestle. Holding me up. All right, let's see here.

This was from Laura B. Ever purchased anything from Sky Mall? No, no. Sky Mall's the magazine in the back of the... Oh. Which you would come here on a ship. How the fuck did you get here? I haven't purchased anything from that since the 90s.

But you have? Yeah, in the 90s, it was like a... Damn. They had like plain replicas or something back in the day and you could only get them on planes. Wait, you were buying models? They have these replica planes that would like... They're just like ornaments,

but you could only get them on... On board. On the plane. You were playing with commercial airliners, not like a fighter jet? That's what you'd... Yeah. He was playing baggage handler.

Yeah, I don't get that. And you wouldn't even play with them. They're just going the... Yeah, it's like the B-to-look-out. It was like a replica. It's not like you and your room-vroom blocks or whatever you were playing with. Dude, he still plays with toys.

You and your plate or whatever. He's making spaghetti and eating it. Yeah, so Scott, but what else would you buy from that magazine? Well, like now, I get my... Aftershave or something? No, man, that's crazy. No, maybe they have electronics or like... Yeah, it's like a cheap Brookstone.

Yeah, like trash. It's like shit that you can really only buy there. You can buy luggage or... I've never fucking... I thought it was rich. I thought it was rich people's shit the whole time. Wow, that magazine's trash. In my head, I'm like, you got money to spy shit

while you're flying, that's nuts. You don't buy it there from the flight attendant. They don't have their shit on the plane, do they? No, but you place the order, I think. It's crazy. I don't fuck, I genuinely don't know. I tell you what, man, the more I fly, the more trashy I realize that it is.

Them coming down the aisle, we've talked about this, and hitting you up for a fucking credit card after you fucking land is a real fucking trashy. Yeah. That's garbage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Giving you 60,000 miles, this and that. Which I've said, I've signed up for a Delta card because it gave me like 50,000 miles or whatever.

I tried once and got denied. That's why you're fucking mad. On the plane. What's your credit limit? In front of everyone? I'm sorry, sir, you've been denied. Seat 45B has been denied. The guy with the seatbelt extender.

Seat 45B and C has been denied. And a little bit of D. And the armrest of D. How about a couple bags of cheese, sir? Denied again. What is your credit limit? Do you have good credit? Yeah, I just checked.

What is it? We talk about ours all the time. I don't know, it's not whatever the top one is, it's the second one. Probably very good. Very good. So in the seventh? Yeah, seven something.

What about your... They said the reason I don't have more is because... You don't have enough credit. I haven't been here long enough. But also technically, I would argue... The reason it's not less is because I haven't been here long enough. Because you haven't been here long enough. Those early 20s are...

Dude, row with me, I'm still digging myself. I'm just digging myself out. I think I'm good. I'm like in the good. I'm like, I think I'm like 675 or something like that. What's the... How many credit cards do you have? You have two cards, was it one of American Express?

No, never, no. No? Actually, I think I only have one now. I got rid of one, I think. And what's the limit on it? The one that I have now? Yeah. 12.

12 grand? I didn't even ask for that. I just checked my bank one day and it was just 12 crowns available. I was like, what? And I was like, damn. I think it's at like 500 right now. And I'm like, that's crazy. 500, that's all you have on it?

Yeah. I wiped that off. That's pretty good. Clean it up every month. Yeah, I've gone to places where it's been tough, where I'm like 6, 7K in the hole. And then it's like such a horrible... To dig yourself out.

It's like sweating. Now, once you get out though, it's just like, I did it. Yeah. I'll be back in two months. There should be some sort of like Instagram posts I should be able to make. You know, like a medal. Congratulations. So you've got 11.5 to play with right now.

That's where they get you. See this, we don't have credit really in Ireland. Really? We do, but it's not like you guys. You guys are crazy. Oh, there's an industry. It's like a drug addiction. It's like, hey, here's a little bit of free crack.

You know, next thing you know, then you're throwing your life away. Here's a little bit of free money, I guess. No such thing. Like saying, you know, you're blowing somebody at TD Bank. I, ours are bad. You just got bumped up to 1,000. 1,000, but I keep it at five. I fucked up the first month that they bumped me up

and jacked it all the way up to 1,000. And it drops your credit. And but that's a tough look at the end of the month to fucking come up with that nut. So I'm limiting myself to 500. Yeah. Because 500 at the end of the month, I can pay that. Because I don't like it to go over.

Yeah. To have everything clean. Oh, I've had it rolling. Yeah, it's so good. Will you pay off the minimum? Because it's like, they're like, you owe us money. He's like, bup, bup, bup, bup. You only have to give us 50.

And I'm like, yeah, I'm only going to give you 50. And then next year, I was like six months later, I'm like, I'm fucked. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whack you over the head with surcharges and interest. They say, always pay, even if it's like $5 over, just never pay the minimum. Like if it's 50, pay $57 or something like that.

So my credit card cycle, and this might be the trash way to do it, but I've never been taught how to do it. What I would do is like, I'd get to like $4,000. Spend it. Yeah, I'd buy stupid shit. And then I would pay off tiny bits, tiny bits, tiny bits. And then just one big lump sum, wipe it all out. Yeah.

Because I'd work so much, and I'd just have it all. And then I'd go back up to $5,000, tiny bit, tiny bit, tiny bit, one giant lump sum, wipe them out. That's probably the trashiest way to do it. I feel like, yeah, because meanwhile, even though I owe them money, I'm like, there's cash in the, there's cash underneath the mattress. Sure, yeah, you got cash in hand.

I'm not giving it to you. The way I see it with credit cards, I don't mind. Like when I pay the grand at the end of the month or the 500 in the month, I feel like I'm just transferring the money because I still, like I'm not like really paying a bill, I have that money at my disposal on the card. Does that make sense? It's like a game that never catches up to itself.

You don't think it's real money, is there a reason? Exactly, because it's like, if I have to pay a $1,000 bill at the end of the month, that $1,000 is gone. But if I pay $1,000 on my credit card, boom, now I have this piece of plastic that's worth $1,000. So it's the same thing as having the grand. So what's the difference? Sure.

On the last month, I'll be dead. Who gives you shit? That's the whole, the dream. Right? Is to die with a lot of death. Oh yeah. Hell yeah. But we talked about this before.

Who does that go to? I don't care, I'm dead. Yeah. Sorry, somebody else was probably. My wife who's cheating on me? Fuck. Good luck. Push her off a cliff.

Should have thrown her off a cruise ship. So scuba diving lessons on the credit card? All right, let's see. Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup. Some of these are from Faye. We got a couple of heaters from Facebook. This one's just funny. Alex, have you ever had Gatorade in a glass with ice?

Fuck yeah. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Yeah. In a wine glass with ice. Oh, baby. So good. That was the stink.

Yeah, that was big because we would get the big jugs, like the big. Oh, you get the big boys. Yeah. And then you have to pour that into like a glass with ice. You can't get them cold. You got to get there in the regular juice. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Takes a couple of days from the cool down to the right temperature. Sure, sure, sure. You a big Gatorade guy? Yeah, oddly, actually, I drink a lot of Gatorade. Really? Well, you know, I work for a moving company, so it's just all the time clients are like Gatorade,

Gatorade, and you're just grabbing it. I don't know if it does that in more than water, but I drink a lot of it. It's opposed to the electrolyte. It refills your electrolytes. That's what they say, but like, you know, they could tell me anything. It's just, it's just.

Like, I'm so beyond stupid. Yeah, it's just. It's a little bit of salt mixed in. That's it. Yeah, it could be just food coloring. And it's like, yo, no, this is. Yeah, this is what LeBron uses. Yeah, yeah.

You want to be like LeBron? What sells you on Gatorade, it does have that distinct flavor. So you're like, oh, yeah, it must be good for you. I love it. You ever mix Gatorade and vodka? No good. No, I've yet to do that.

Oh, I don't fuck you up. Will it? The Gatorade's too thin, man. Yeah. This guy's got 12 grand on a credit card. What are you talking about? He's not making some Gatorade and vodka? Vitamin water.

Vitamin water and rum. Pallorade and tequila. There we go. Now we're talking. That's a real drink. Let me ask you that about the moving. How do you judge clients? Like if you call.

Personality, looks, and talent. No. And you got all three, kid. You pull up, and they don't offer you a drink at all. Are you going? I'm probably getting stiffed, or I'm not getting a great tip. No, no, there's not really a correlation between. But it pisses you off a little bit, right?

I think it's rude probably to not have waters or something ready for your client. Now, what do you take? If you go up and they say, hey, would you like some water? I'll take a water, yeah. But what if they go under the sink with the glass to fill it up? I'll probably take that, too. I'm not.

Really? Yeah, I don't. I'm like a dog. But you prefer a cold water. They could dip it in the toilet. I'll drink it. I would prefer it, yeah. That's a good, when you show up at a move and it's clean,

like so all the boxes are clean. Like in the middle of the room or something. Yeah, there's no stuff, and there's the tables, and you go, this, this, this, like there you go. All right, sure. If it's clean, you go, all right. Now we're dealing with someone who I respect. And they go, we have a bunch of waters.

They're in the fridge. Help yourself. Nice. And we're going to go down to the store, grab some Gatorades. You want that? And that's it. That's it.

What about lunch? They buy you lunch? Sometimes they do, but it's usually pizza, and we don't usually have time. And that doesn't have fuck you up for after, because I know any time, after lunch, I'm done. Yeah. Any time I did anything, any blue collar job,

or anything manual, after lunch, I was done. Couple of slices, I'm fucking like half asleep. Yeah, yeah, it's tough. But at the same time, it's like normally, but the problem is, here's the thing, is a lot of people go, it's buying pizza. Don't have to tip. Don't have to tip as well.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you the pizza and the Gatorade. Who needs the cash? Little Aussie's has. Yeah. Yeah. I don't mean us. I would say just have some waters ready.

Whatever, Poland, is it a Poland spring? That's a cheap one, right? Yeah. Just have a couple of Poland springs, some Gatorades, or whatever. You don't need to give them food, and they should be good. What's your Gatorade flavor? I go the white, like.

What? White? White terse, is it? Quench, terse, quench. Who the fuck thought that was only a Christmas? No, that's me, yeah. Yeah, every time I say it, too, Evan goes, what though? I've never even had that.

No, it's, I think it's, it's, it's called like white. It's called ejaculate. I don't know what they're giving you. Sprint and spremen. Are you hurting for a squirt? Yeah, that's my, I don't, I just, that's the one. I think it's called something cherry. Is that white cherry?

Oh, maybe white cherry. It's a white one. Yeah, it is white. But I'm the only one who ever says it. You can only get those at the grocery store, though. Listen, if you're offered, you better go walking. I'm telling you, I'm, I'm lit, I'm lit in your TV. I don't care where you get it, lady.

That's how you keep out of the house. Yeah, that's what I got. Find me a white cherry. What do you guys go for? Light blue, it depends, it depends on the mood. Light blue, if I'm hungover, it's gonna be red. Red? Red if I'm hungover or orange.

Fruit punch. Fruit punch is red, yeah. Classic is great. Classic? What's classic? Yellow. Yeah, yellow's classic. That's not yellow, it's green.

It's lemon lime, it's yellow. I think it's green. Is it? Yeah, it's for sure yellow. You guys all might be too young for this, but they used to make Gatorade gum. What am I, you know me a long time, right? Have that over there?

No. Top shell. Probably have Gatorade over there. We don't even have it. We don't have Gatorade? We gotta have some. You guys have Lucasade, right? We have Lucasade.

Lucasade? Lucasade's a different type of thing. Just milk. It's health milk. Just curdled milk. You never had fizzy milk? You never had fizzy milk? You guys.

It sounds like a prescription. Listen. Put a little Lucasade on it, you'll be all right. I don't cure right up. Clears up poison ivy as well. Listen to me. Get some Lucasade into you. Yeah?

Hit the gym, all PRs. What? Wait, what is? Personal records. All PRs, personal records. What's in it? What's in it? How do you spell it, Lucas?

It's the same sort of magic bullshit that's in every sports drink. It's sort of just a marketing ploy. For idiots like us. Wow, that stuff doesn't look good. It looks like cortisol. That stuff cures the cold, man. I'm telling you.

That stuff looks like you clean toilets with it. No, you haven't. That stuff's crazy. Next. Lucasade. Next time I go to one of the Irish stores in Queens, I'm gonna pick you up some Lucasade. There's an Irish store in Queens? There's a few in them, yeah.

You go in and you buy like Irish chocolate and it costs you $18. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Holy fucking shit. Now, Lucasade, it makes top athletes go 22% longer. I think you can use it in the bedroom. Finally break two minutes. Thank you, 5% bigger.

Wow, Lucasade. But that was, Lucasade's one of those things. It was just like a regular drink. And then, but people used to drink it when they were sick. They'd give it to like sick kids and stuff for some reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. But then. Stay hydrated.

Something like that, but then they rebranded as a sports drink. But I don't think they did anything. It's the same shit. They just said, they just said we're sports now. And we're like, all right, yeah, I guess so. Pedialyte did that over here. They saw all these kids fucking drinking it

when they were hungover. Yeah. Now it's switched up. Yeah, Pedialyte was for like bait. Like if you were like a baby who was dehyde, like a child. I thought, yeah, I thought it was for like chronic diarrhea. It's for babies when they're dehydrated. Yeah, from diarrhea, you shit out everything.

And that gets like the levels back up. But then people started drinking it when they got fucking hungover. And then they use a hire some basketball player to say he uses it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That's what dehydrated I use, Pedialyte or LucasAid.

Yeah, we're the official podcast of the Olympics. That's funny. I'd love an RU garbage sports drink. We should. I'd fucking, I want to get a beer. So if anybody has a brewery out there, let us know. Nice. We'll do a garbage, nice IPA.

There you go. Got to be great. Little hazy, you know what I mean? And Toadies IPA. Split profits, we'll push it every episode. Come on. And Toadies IPA, you like it? Toadies IPA isn't bad.

And Toadies IPA. Stop giving away all the secrets. And Toadies. Ooh, all right, this one's a fucking, this is also from the Facebook group. Got to show the Facebook group a little love. They're out there doing that. Guys, join the fucking Facebook group.

I think we're like 3,000 people on the Facebook group already. It's cooking over there. This is from Charlie Butts. Not sure if that's his government name. Charlie. Have you ever been friends with someone that was homeschooled?

No. Fuck out of here. There was a couple. Toby was probably homeschooled. You were homeschooled. I have a secret for all of you. Uh-uh. You were all friends with someone who was homeschooled.

We knew that. He told us that. I don't think I knew that. Yeah. I don't know if you could call what I did homeschooling. I just didn't go to middle school. I don't know if you can call what we call friends either. Yes.

You just didn't go to middle school. Correct. So you were all from sixth, seventh, and eighth grade. That was correct. What age is it? What age is it? That's like 11 to 13. So you just didn't go to school?

What would you do? You working in the factories or something? I'd wake up. I'd play some PlayStation 2, a little Metal Gear Solid 2. I'd watch some TV. My homies would get off school. I'd go skate with them. My homies?

You're 11-year-old homies. We were out there thugging the homies. Yeah, we're out there just playing Pokemon, you know. On the corner. Yeah. Doing what homies do? That's bananas. Have you told us this?

Oh, yeah. You've told us this before. And what did your parents say? What would stop? Were you supposed to be schooled? I mean, those are key years. You learn algebra and long division. That's why we're finding out he is not a smart guy.

What? I am the smartest dumb guy you'll ever meet. Wait, I don't understand how you got away with that. Wouldn't they come and take you away from your parents? That's like neglect. North Carolina, dude. That'll give a fuck. Jesus.

Oh, nice. Buddy, we've got a next Patreon thing, is we're going to fucking Billy Madison you. We're going to re-roll you back in primary school. Wow. That'd be incredible. I like it. You're getting fucking chugged at it.

What, you're in lockers? Fucking PS102 over here. Get that hank in there, too. Yeah. You could use it. I could. I wonder how I would fare. Do you have siblings?

Yeah, yeah, older brother. Yeah, what did he do? He was a boarding school. Man, that's you guys. That's like the opposite of, yeah. Meet in the middle. Be normal. Go to a regular fuck.

How about trying to regular school? It was like, all right, one of you gets to go to boarding school. But unfortunately, that's expensive. So Toby, you're staying here. It's one of you doesn't have to go to school. The other one has to go all the time. The two of them.

The other one has to live there. Rock, paper, scissors. Were your parents strict about your grades growing up? No. Were you a good student? No. No, I was not. I was good early on.

And then it just slowly, it used to be like, oh, gets his work done. Very funny. Sure. Teachers love me. And then it became like a little bit disobedient. And then it just became like, you can't come here anymore. Really?

Wait, you were kicked out of school? Are you guys lost? Yeah, I got tossed. Don't we talk about this? What? No. Out of high school? Yeah.

Yeah, high school, yeah. So did you ever go to college, did you? Yeah, I did, yeah. What's that? Adversity? Yeah. Sorry. What's that?

A challenge? Headbutt. I've said it once, I've said it twice, this guy's bonkers. Headbutt and the dean. Toby. How did you get into fucking college without a degree? No, I got like a equivalent. I got transferred in high schools.

So the principal kind of brought my parents in. They didn't officially suspend me, but they were just like, you can't come back here during the summer. What were you doing? What'd you do? I was just, I don't know. I wasn't even that bad. I don't think.

I just did good tell teachers. That's all bullshit. You exactly know this. I know you as an adult. No, I was not. You're a real rabble rouser. I wasn't like violent or anything. You didn't beat anybody up.

I would just like show up and they'd be like, where's your homework? And I'd be like, I don't believe in homework, man. Oh yeah, I fucking toss you too. I don't believe. And they're like, well, yeah. Some poor Irish fucking English teachers making like 30 fucking pounds a month.

They were making good money and teachers are paid for good money. You overpaid, stop that. But I would be kind of like, just like, but listen, best case scenario, did you do well in school? And they'd be like, yeah, I was like, yeah, but then I'll just end up like you and you're a loser. And then they'd be like, all right, you can't be in class like this. I'm like, I don't want to be in this class.

I was born to perform. I'm an artist. I'm moving to New York. I'm going to be a star, I tell you. You start dancing around like Billy Elliot. They're like, you're a dreamer, Terrell. You're a dreamer. So how did you get into university?

Just two grades. I know what they call it. Wow, look at you. So they, so I went to a different school then, private school, which was the last year. So they kind of, they didn't efficient. They said like, you can't come back. Yeah, we're not, we're not.

They gave me the option to leave rather than. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a gentleman. Yeah, exactly. Can you get the hammer or you can leave? Yeah, so then I went to the private school for the final year. That's not bad.

Got the grades, went into college. Nice. Never, never even put that on a resume. Parents pissed that they had to pay for a private school? Eh, no, maybe. I don't know. Never asked. Take that as a guess.

Was it expensive or like? It's pricey enough. Yeah. Uniform? No, uniform, no. In the private? No, it's the opposite in Ireland. It's really.

Uniform if you're public, if you're private, wear whatever you want. It's cool. We don't believe in religion. Hey. Wow. Do you have to dress up like Harry Potter in elementary school?

Do you wear like those suits? I did have a wand. But that was personal. No, that was more like a Quelle de Vil cigarette. I did have a jacket made out of potholes. Yeah. I did have an elf with me. He was just a small kid.

And yeah, we had uniforms that we wore. Trousers, sweater with the collar shirt. Yeah. Nice. Real Irish. I wore that too in Catholic school when I was a kid. I like to uniform, to be honest with you. Clip on tie, nice sweater.

Clip on. Yeah. Send them home. No way. That was a fucking Dean Martin. There's your question. Clip on tie in Catholic school. You were tying your own tie as a boxer?

I was 16. I was. Of course I could tie my own tie. Can you still not? No, yeah, of course I can now. I don't think you can. Oh, wait, when you were a little kid. Get a tie.

Wait, you deflected that real quick. I can tie a tie. 100%, tie a tie right now. No way. Give me a tie, who's got a tie? It's the thing you got to learn young. It's like French or something. I know.

No way. I know it's, no you can't. It's like French or something. Fucking, there's a YouTube video to teach you how to do it in 45 seconds. I don't believe that you can do it. It's like French or anal. You got to learn young.

Speaking of Catholic school. No, you said that you wore the uniform in public school. Yeah. So you had to have it when you were young. I was a kid, yeah. From early, early I learned how to, as soon as I learned how to tie my laces, I tied a tie. And then that was it.

Oh, we don't learn that young. Took my dad a couple years to figure it out. You have to go. Dad? Yeah, my dad. A tie a tie? Yeah, he didn't know. Who taught you?

Guy at Wawa? What do you mean? Who teaches you how to tie a tie? Wait, it taught your dad a couple years how to figure out how to tie a tie? No, it took my dad a couple years to teach me how to tie a tie. I mean, you got a grade you want to curve sometimes.

There was a technique you could do where you can open it, but not all the way. You hook it and bring it back. But then, but you can tell. You can tell. It's a little weather. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's banged up.

It's like Cody's gift that I brought. The plate's broken. There you go, that's it. I would put $100 right now that you can't tie a tie. I'm telling you, I can't. Get me something that's that long. I'll tie it for you right now. Get your belt.

Yeah. I don't have a belt. I have a drawstring. Next time we hang up. We got anything in here, Toby? No, I don't think so. No. I mean, why would we have a tie in here?

I don't know. This might be too Irish inside baseball, but have you ever worked on a bog? No, I have not. No. The fuck is a bog? It's like a farmer's. It's like a cranberry bog.

That's all I know. It's like water, right? No, it's like dry mud. That's a bog. It's like dry soil that you burn. It dries out in the summer, and then you cut it into logs, and then you can burn it for a few. Jesus, that is inside Irish.

Yeah, Jesus Christ. It's like the most garbage Irish job you could have. Is it? I don't think it's garbage. It's just farmer's stuff. Farmers are like the sneaky millionaires. I think that's international, too, where it's like you can meet a farmer,

and he's like some hillbilly, too list. And then he's like, you've bought millions, but he has like just chicken shit on his hands. And he's just like, yeah, some mud on his forehead. But Irish farmers, anyway, they're like, they're just like wild monkeys. But yeah, they're worth millions of dollars. Really?

They'll just show up, and they're just like chewing tobacco. And yeah. They'll just have a handful of turnips. But yeah, the bog. Pocket full of cake. I have a cut bog as part of a school tour, where you go to visit a farm. Yeah, yeah, see how it works and shit like that.

Yeah, but it's like crazy, because it's like we're from the city. So they're like, this is the farm. Yeah, you're like, you're looking them at like they're like zoo animals, you know what I mean? Like, hey, city kids, come watch these Neanderthals. Still cut mud, which apparently is a thing. They're out here burning dirt. How do you burn dirt?

I don't know. He explained it pretty well. He's like, yeah, yeah, cut mud, and then burn it. I was like, dude, I don't think I know what mud or fire is at this point. How do you burn dirt? Now that I think of it, yeah, it's pretty fucking barbaric. What they're doing out there?

That's some trashy shit. Two hours. I wish you're burning dirt. It's like an hour and 45 minute drive from my home is just wilderness. All the farmers are rich, because they got you and he, it's burning dirt. Hey, hey, give me 20 bucks and burn this dirt.

Nice, yeah. Holy fuck, Jesus. That's great. Holy shit. All right, let's see. This is from Mary. Shout out to Mary. Did your parents ever use?

Did your parents ever use your money to help pay for a family vacation when you were a little kid? Did you ever have to chip in at any point? For my own spending money, yes. For like, if you wanted to get something, it was how to come out of your kitty. I had to save up money for what I wanted to buy over there.

But I never had to pay towards a flight or a hotel. What was your communion situation over there? Did you guys have a holy community? Oh, yeah. Big party? Yeah. Yeah. A lot of cash?

A lot of cash. Like, really? I was still like the poor kid, but like, it was a lot of money. What are you saying? I can't remember exact figure. Ballpark. I remember, wait. So do you say communion or confirmation?

Communion. Communion. So communion, I was still dealing in pounds, which was the old money. Old money. That's fucking, that's blood money. No, that was at the Ireland before we changed to the EU in 2003.

We had pounds. And I think I was like 260 pounds or something like that. All right. Which was like, wild. For a kid that age. But I'm sure I didn't. People always bought like good stuff. I don't remember buying anything like good.

I remember just not having it. Yeah. Let me ask you this. I might have bought a PlayStation game. She like, I got a hundred bucks, I think. And I bought a calculator watch. I got a hundred bucks of the money. And I got a calculator watch at Clover.

Shout out to Clover. Oh, she took a cut? She took, and then she took the rest. Like, oh, I'll put this in the bank. And then I thought it was in a bank until I was like 16. Wow. Hey, let me use that money. She's like, that's been fucking gone since the 80s.

That's rooted in Catholicism. You got to pay points on the fig. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to kick it up. They got to let there be. You got to kick it up. Those older boys ain't free, all right? You don't see it.

No, no, I didn't see it at all. Yeah, my mom took the whole thing. The whole thing? The whole thing. Wow. It was like $2.50, Patty. I know you got it. He should've invoiced her.

I got 900. 900? Yeah. My family's huge. So it was like, 25 bucks from me. 300 people. Were you dressed up like fucking groomsmen, too? Yeah, it was a big deal.

All in white. White? Yeah, I think communion's white, right? Was it Vegas? No. White. No. What the fuck?

Going to prom. It wasn't white. I'm thinking communion. No. What the fuck am I thinking of? I don't know. This is when you were in the Commodores. I don't know what you're talking about.

Fucking wear white. Yeah, what, were you singing in the Four Seasons? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come back to the microphone. No, I just, isn't that right here? The photo? Yeah. There was one.

I thought we brought it in. It is me. I do have like a suit. I look like fucking a young Chubby Tony's Abrano. Wow. You found it? Oh, there's a tumble. I think that might be my niece.

Or is that it? Let me see here. Wow, is this a family book? No, that's not my, that's my holy communion. You have, you have, you have banged up for 12 years. He's our little eight-year-old. Nice. You don't think you don't know what's going on?

Yeah, I was probably hungover. If I had to guess, oh, that's funny as shit. Yeah, that's what we would do if we'd dress up in like suits. Yeah, put on a fucking suit or a pair of slacks. And the girls would wear like white dresses. The girls would wear white dresses. And it's their traditional Irish community. You have to fight a dog, right?

You have to fight the gypsies down at the town square. We don't joke about the gypsy. You've reached my line. Very, very few have been here. Congratulations. You're on the top of the mountain. Wait, tell me. He's going to steal my soul.

Wait, why no joking about the gypsies? Toby, Clippy, Clippy, Clippy, Clippy, Clippy. Hey, homeschooler, keep it quiet, will you? No, we love them. Really? Yeah, no, it's a big no-no. This is for superstitious purposes. I'm not gypsy.

I'm not the gypsy. No, I know you're not. No, no, it just doesn't go. It just doesn't go well. Wait, wouldn't be fans of a joke. They wouldn't. Or you would. Irish people wouldn't.

The gypsies. The gypsies wouldn't, of course. Wouldn't be fans of a joke. Of course not. Yeah, never fucking make fun of a gypsy in front of a gypsy. They're thousands of miles away. These bozers are still in Ireland. These idiots don't have the internet yet.

Wait, hold on. Do you guys tease gypsies? No. Not to their face. What are you doing? What are you doing? We have them nervous. Are you nuts?

Wait, is this like bad? I'm not going to tease gypsies. It's like going up to a big giant black guy or something and then making fun of him. That's crazy. OK, but I just want to understand we're not going to make fun of them. I love all gypsies.

Of course. Chateau, Travellers, and they don't call them gypsies. They're travelers. Travelers, I have problems with. Travelers, yes, of course. They're members of the traveling community. Yes. And they have my mom hostage.

Let's just restart this episode. We'll pick it up from the credit score. Not a fan. Listen. But wait, so what? They'll just. Sanja, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, son.

All right, so they're just, so like if somebody were, if they were walking down the street and someone said something rude or made fun of them or something, what, that's a fight? Or that does that? You will. They will end you. Really?

Absolutely. Really? They're a rough and tumble bunch. Yeah. Like Tyson Fury, the heavyweight champion of the world. Shout out to the fucking. I love Tyson. The gypsy king.

Tyson's the man. Always bet the house on Tyson Fury. Tyson's a beast. I love this shit out of him, dude. Yeah. Yeah, his feed, yeah, the gypsy king. They are just rough, culturally, rough and tough. And it's where I'm from, which was like,

I guess it was like upper, lower class, if that makes any sense. We were poor, but we weren't like the poorest. It's garbage, but I love it. Yeah, upper, lower class. Upper, lower class. I think they call that middle class in a lot of ways. We were, I wish, we were just.

We didn't have mud money, OK, guys? I don't want to think I was some big mud salesman. Not a bog tycoon or anything like that. That's funny. A mud warrior. That's so funny, bog tycoon. Yeah, but the tough kids from my neighborhood that would like beat me up or beat me and my friends up.

And if you saw them, you'd be like, oh, here's fuck. Yeah. Here's Rocco, you know. And Rocco. I know, I know. Was that his government name or is that a nickname? That was, he was Rocco the third. Oh, that's a shit.

Long line of ass, what the heck he got. I knew a Rocco, too. And I was just like, that's insane that that's your name. But then the Rocco got hit by his dad. But it was always like, you know, the toughest in all of the neighborhoods and the toughest kids from all the neighborhoods were fighting each other.

And then the travelers would show up and just fucking humiliate Rocco. Really? That's just how it works. Just run through them. Just, yeah. Like one on one? Just, they're almost not human.

Yeah. Got that time. He said that. Now I'm fucking with you. But they're tough, just tough kids. Yeah. Tough kids. Tough kids, tough communities.

They've had it. They've had it hard. And it just doesn't end well when you make fun of them. Now. Yeah, no, I don't. We are not. From the traveling community out there, we are not making fun of you.

Big supporter shout out. We love it. These guys definitely were. They were making fun of you. I always have your back. Shout out to the motherfucking Gypsy King, baby. Shout out to the Gypsy King. Dude, you know he's nervous because he looked at nine cameras.

I know. He doesn't know. I was like, which one is it me? Yo. Zoom in on me, Zoom. That's crazy. The McDonald's. Big fan of you guys, the McDonald's.

I thought it was because of a superstition or something. Like a black cat? Like don't put a hex on you or something. Yeah, don't walk under a ladder. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't just punch you in the face. Don't make fun of the gypsies. They'll fucking cut you, I think.

Oh. I don't think they're ending in a fisticop. They will mess you up. Then who are the, my next question would be, because who are the beggars that are out in the streets? There's like a system of beggars. That's like Roman Gypsies. Yeah.

And that is fair game. Yeah, OK. Those were the gypsies I was originally talking about. Those pussies can't fight for shit. I'm back. He's about to paint his masterpiece. Holy shit. Those are the gypsies I'm talking about.

There's this system of, I guess, Roman, whether Roman? Roman Gypsies. Roman Gypsies. And they're like beggars. Like Roman? No, Romanian Gypsies. Romanian Gypsies. And they're beggars on the street.

Beggars. And there's like, they funnel all the money up, right? As far as I'm aware, does it, again, like Everton? Sure. Sure. There's a kick-up system. There's a kick-up system to like, but like there was also this story of like,

them getting, they give women babies to get more money. So like a woman will be like, holding a baby to get more money. It's like hobo-cut-co? Yes, it's a hobo pyramid. This was in Slumdog Millionaire, they did the same thing. Where they took the eye out. Yeah, they burned the kid's eye because they had more money.

Yeah, similar thing. I guess, but we didn't really get Romanian Gypsies until like, in the mid-2000s. Really? Yeah. And they were like, yeah, I don't know. I guess, I can't really talk about this, but I guess Romania has a, it's like a real culture

of like begging, I guess. OK. Yeah, I don't know, just like a lot of homeless begging. And that's like your job and, you know, I don't know. Yeah. I really don't, I've never, to be honest, I've never sat down and been like, tell me where you come from. It's always just me putting up my window going,

so where you from originally? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm holding up my window. But it turns out now recently that they found true 23 and me, the Romanian Gypsies and the Irish Gypsies are actually. Travelers. Irish travelers.

Irish travelers are from, thank you. They're from the same, I guess. Area maybe or? Originally, before they spread out. Before they spread out. But they lost, they have a lot in common. But they lost like a lot of it. And now it turns out that, because they don't,

they don't, they don't read or write traditionally in the culture. So they never had like a history. They just had all these fake stories about coming from dragons and shit. And then it turns out they tested it and turns out they are. They are related kind of. Yeah. Damn, that's fucking sick. Well, so there's not a lot of, there's not,

it's traditionally not taught to read and write. In their culture. In the travelers community. Yeah, it's kind of nuts, because I can talk about this all day. But like in Ireland, you'll have all your like neighborhoods. And then you just have one neighborhood, which is a park. And it's full of caravans, where they just live. Yeah.

And then they just do their own thing. Traditionally, they had their own schooling, their own traditions. And they would travel from Ireland to England all the time. And back in the day, they used to have like a horse and carriage. And then it became more like caravans. And they always fought and they would, they just made ends meet. They were kind of just like, they were kind of just off the grid. Yeah, they were there.

And then, well. Outside of society a little bit. They're like, they're like Amish jocks. Kind of like Amish jocks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they were off the grid doing their own thing and, you know, not to be trusted. But that's like.

You got me nervous now. I know. Not to be treacherous. This is going on Patreon, by the way. I don't think there's any gypsies there. If they do, I'm going to flush them out. If there's good land, they'll show up. I tell you.

I'm fucking. Colum's opinions do not reflect that up to the LLC. Kevin Ryan or Henry Foley. I stand with the Gypsy King. Absolutely. But because there was that show. I don't know how real it was, but. To the two factions fighting.

You're thinking knuckle. You're thinking of Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. Yes, which I used to watch Big Fat Gypsy Wedding and they would try to get married and they weren't. They would lie and they would hide the fact that they were gypsies to like the venue or like the caterer, the DJ. Because they didn't want to work with them. So they would hide and then they would show off the day up.

And the place was like, no, no, no. It was always a fucking thing. It's still to this day. Party. Like they would fucking rage, party and then like, you know. Smash up a good old fashioned business owners. Yeah, they get a little rowdy, you know. Yeah, they get a little rowdy.

They're playing on the fringe of these guys. Yeah. I loved that fucking show. Was there an American version of the show? No, it was the English version. The English one was weird too, because it was the first one to let cameras inside the culture. And it's like, and it's very secretive.

So even the people that were on that show, the gypsies, they started getting shown that from the actual given away the secrets and all that stuff. Yeah, go watch Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. It's just crazy. Yeah, no, it's like Captain. You're like, you're watching shit where you're like, what in the fuck? That thing knuckles that scared me.

Knuckles like where I'm from, they grew up and they were from Koolock. And I'm just like, it was like two groups that didn't like each other. And it is kept, they would put up their best guy to fight. They, yes, yeah, just bare knuckle boxing. Just, oh, and they would put houses. And then the two, I think they called them clans for some reason. But the two families would go up and they would just be bare knuckle boxing and they would put down a hundred, 200,000 dollars cash

and they would just punch each other until someone quits. That's the real stuff. Dude, dudes I would fuck with. Beyond tough. Yeah. And that's why we don't say much. He's got it. Big fan of the traveler community.

I am too, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A hundred percent. This is not getting released. I don't think we said that in the wrong. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You also make it seem like they're going to find us or something. You don't know. What the fuck, man?

I like, I like that. It's the Irish Taliban. They're nomads, dude. I know. When I first brought it up, it's the Irish Taliban. That's what I was, yeah. When I first brought up the topic of gypsies, I was talking about the Romanian gypsies.

I didn't think of the travelers. I was thinking about the people. But we all agree that Kevin did bring it up. Absolutely. Right? You should see what he says off camera, guys, because he's been absolutely raging. No.

Dude, shout out to the fucking Tyson Fury. Keep going back to that. That ain't going to save your life. I love it. Shout out to travelers. Come on, shout out to them. Love the travel channel. I love it all.

That's amazing. I love the travel channel. My insurance company is travelers. Doggy. Before we ask another question, can I grab a beer? Of course you can. Teabone. Hit them up.

Thank you, Teabone. I was going to get a beer. I'm good. I'm trying to cup. Dude, I was just in Germany and then the Dominican Republic. So I'm like, fucking, I've gone maybe 36 hours without booze and I'm dying to get by the way. How are they, by the way?

This is great. This is really, really good. We got that from a listener on the road. I appreciate it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where he works. Wow. Mixed breed brewing.

Can we give him a shout out? Tell him to send me some beers. 100% Send him out. Mixed breed brewing. I think it's Connecticut. I guess sent beers all over. New York?

I forget where it is. Gilderland Center, New York. OK, there you go. I get beer sent to me all the time. Do you really? All the time. I'm a big, I always talk on the pod about how I fucking, I'm a big IPA guy.

So now when we go on the road, people always give me IPA. Like he brought me a four pack. Another, you know, they'll just be like, hey, Kippy, I have you be like, I have beers for you. The IPA four packs are pretty classy. Yeah. Right? What do you think?

I got a nice designs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's that you're drinking now? This is actually a pale ale, but it tastes like an IPA. It's called zombie dust by tree floids. That's a good beer. Zombie dust is fire. Yes, it's great.

Zombie dust. Three floids as a. It's really popular in Chicago. They'll only let you buy one six pack at a time at the store. Really? Sounds like some fucking nerd shit. No shit. Someone sent me IPAs like a week or two ago,

but they were like the worst things I've ever tasted in my life. Really? I mean, I mean beyond. It was like fair factor style. There was one called buffalo wangs. It tasted like buffalo sauce. Have you ever had Malort? Have you ever had Malort?

The Lord? Malort. Malort never heard of it. It's a fucking liquor. Should we do this? You're not going to make me drink something. Yeah, it's not good. I'll try.

I'll try. Like if we can. Yeah, you're backing him into a corner now. I'm not drinking it. He's not going to take this. He's not going to not take this shot. I'll do it. Come on.

Is it Chicago tradition? You can only get in Chicago. That's great. Keep it there. It's horrible. Send you back with it. Yeah, it's like. It tastes like potpourri and poisons.

Just let him taste it if you're making him go. Don't put it in my head. Yeah, but this guy sent me that. And then he sent me what else did he send me? It was something called ranch dressing. Tastes like ranch dressing. The beer? The beer.

Oh, holy shit. I'll just not get crazy. No, it was so bad. And I felt that because I drank it live on a podcast. I was like, this is the worst thing. And I felt so nuts because I was from his brewery that he worked in. He was like, you're going to love this.

There's not a human alive. Yeah, would like that. Yeah. Carl Jepsen Company, Chicago, Illinois. All right, let me get it. Let me get a little bit. Mallort. Collie T's first shot of Lamort.

Lamort. Mallort. Actually, second. Second hit? It's not nice. It's a grower. It's a tough look. If it's bothering you now.

You're giving me the shit right now. Swished it around. That's hardcore. Just keep going. I won't stop. It's like a gob stopper. It just. Yeah.

Take a sip of your beer, dude. It makes it worse. It's not fun. It's not enjoyable anyway. No, I don't understand. It's not good. But we love it. I got six shivers.

Like six. It was like, you can do like one or two and you go all right. Yeah. But then it just like a little bit again. Why did, and people drank that for like. It's like a bit. People enjoy it? Yeah, it's like every bar you go to has a Chicago handshake.

It'd be like five bucks for a beer and a shot of Mallort. I'll pay you $100. Dude, never bring that up. Yeah, it's fucking horrible. What do you think it tastes like? Feet. I can't even. Like Febreze or something?

This guy gave me glee. That's crazy. Well, thank you for doing that. Well, thank you for your hospitality. Give me my fucking plate back. Smash it. Like a Greek wedding. Good stuff.

All right, let's do a couple of more here. This one's from Sean on Patreon. Ever replaced the dead batteries in your remote with the batteries from the smoke detector? Not the smoke detector. That's dancing with the devil. Wait, smoke detector is nine volt. If you got anything other than a nine volt

in your smoke detector, that's fucking trash. If you got triple A's in your smoke detector. It would be double A's. Either way, it's got to be a nine volt. So I wouldn't take it from there. Take it from remote to remote. Oh, 100%. That DVD player doesn't need fucking batteries.

You know what I mean? We're never using that. Yeah. Yeah, I can't remember ever. It is all nine volt. I think you can kind of loophole in this. Oh shit, maybe. Camping from the smoke detector.

Now what I'm saying is, I'm not saying this guy doesn't have a smoke detector with double or triple A's, but that's fucking trash. But I do take the batteries out of the smoke detectors if it goes off once. Oh, yes. Well, I've never been in a fire, so this is useless. Statistically, I'm not going to need this thing.

This is propaganda from big fire department. Big fire alarm? That thing starts beeping. It's a fucking pain in the ass. Yeah. You got to get the chair out. Fucking love it. Yeah, you got to whip in the red.

My anxiety is just cooking through it, too. It's like it just builds and builds. And you're probably stressed because you're cooking something that is, like, super smoky. You're using a broiler, so it's like you've got four minutes. Yes. And four minutes and one second, you're fucked. You're on the clock.

You're on the clock. You're on the chair. And she's like, what can I just help? And you're like, no, get the fuck out of here. I said, I cook. Get the fuck out of here. Ours is so strong that the shower will set it off. Oh, wow.

The steam and the shower. Oh, because lack of oxygen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just the steam coming out of the shower. I like to take a hot one. Fucking sets it off. That's fucking nuts. Let's be honest, get rid of them.

I mean, have one in the kitchen or the bedroom or whatever. I got one in the bedroom, one in the kitchen, and one in the office. I quit bragging. I mean, they're fucking smoke detectors. They're not fucking. That's three-nine volt batteries, gang. They're not Rolexes.

Actually got three of them, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Only guy I know who pranks about smoke detectors. My smoke detectors got smoke detectors. This one's gold-plated. This one spins. This one's carbon monoxide and smoke, huh? Have you guys ever been in a fire?

No. Yes. Oh, I knew it. We had an apartment on Second Avenue. It was a three-floor walk-up. Each unit had a washer and dryer. Fully knocked over a lantern burned down Chicago. What was her name?

Mrs. O'Leary? It's like Bessie, the cow. That was, that's what homeschooling gets you. That's why it went over these idiots' head. I got it. I got it. I mean, I didn't know the origin. I knew it was the top of the fire.

That's the extent of Toby's world history, though. That's all he learned in three years. All right. No, so we had three apartments stacked on one another. Washer and dryer was fucking awesome. Girls lived upstairs. Their dryer caught on fire. Fucking huge fucking thing.

She comes running down in a towel, screaming fucking, yeah, she's smoking too. Screaming fucking the places on fire, the places on fire. Fucking, her apartment burned up. We all ran outside. Fireman came, put it out. Hitting on the way.

No, but you know what's funny? She had a cat. Oh, right? Do you want me to save your cat? She had a cat, and when she came downstairs. She runs in there for the, she goes, I'll save the day. She goes, my cat's in there.

He's like, I got this. He runs in, comes out with some Twinkies or something. I couldn't find a cat, but I got the meatloaf out of the fridge. Are you eating this? That's some goat brisket. Wow. Smoky.

Figure we can't use the kitchen to rest on a night. You know what I mean? We'll split this up between the guys, huh? No, so there was a cat upstairs. So me and my brother made an attempt to try to get in and to get the cat, but there was so much smoke coming out. It was like, we would never, we never would have made it.

You tried? Yeah, we ran back upstairs and, you know, got to the front door and it was smoke was billowing out and we were like, yeah, it's like this. Wow. So we came back down, but then when the fireman got there, they went up with the hoses and stuff, but we knew one of the dudes that was on the truck

and he's like, they were up there fighting over who brought the cat down. Because the chick was so hot. Yeah, they all wanted to look cool. That's so funny. Yeah, they were up there fighting over it. That's like the funniest. Why the buildings on fire are fighting over a cat.

And you guys couldn't even get in and those guys are sitting there and they're arguing. They're trying to get laid. You were touching the doorknob like, yeah. They met and messed up. What are you talking about? There's just like, yeah, there's just wood falling down. They're flipping a coin.

Meanwhile, the Foley boys are out in the street. Now they had mags on and hoses. We had nothing. Yeah, three-story walk-up, let's be honest. Smoke or no smoke, your cat's gone. The cat was fine. The cat survived? Cat survived.

Did the fireman get a date? I couldn't tell you that. The cat did die later. Make up the ending to the story a little better. No, what did that say? I don't know. Just say, yeah, they fell in love and lived happier ever after.

The cat did die later on. You sat on it? But it was drugs. Drugs? Nice. Nice. Toby, cut that. Now do it again.

This is could have been. Take two. On the low, I've had a couple of bombs on this one. That one just completely fell down. Well, I got to be honest, the gypsy thing flustered me. I'm sorry. Yeah? That's my fault.

It's OK. Well, you brought it up. I know. I did not. I brought up the Romanian gypsies. No, it was good. Honestly, everything we said was fine. I think now is a good time to discuss arrays for me.

I'm just going to not make this available in the UK. We'll be all right. Can you do that? I don't know. That'd be great. Also, are the travelers a big podcast listening? No, absolutely not. Too busy dancing.

Yeah. They're watching us on YouTube right now at fucking con. You're nothing but shite in the bucket. Kevin Ryan. My name's Henry Foley. I'm Henry Foley. You're flamm on me, Mother's Wellie. I don't know what that meant, but it sounded funny.

Yeah. All right, let's do two more here and then wrap it up. This one's also from Facebook, from Austin. Ever used an electric toothbrush as a regular toothbrush because it died? And you never replaced it? Are you an old school toothbrush or electric toothbrush? I'm electric.

What brand you rocking? I have no idea. Sonic Air or OBE? Honestly, you could replace my toothbrush. And I wouldn't even know. Is there a toothpaste all over like a burning candle? There would be, but I live with my girl. She cleans it up.

Those things get ripe. They get crazy. Especially if you build up quick. Especially if you put it in the holder. That holder smells like shit. No, you got to wash the holder every two days or something. It's crazy. It's crazy.

You leave the holder there, you come back the next day. There's like a mushroom hanging out of it. It's crazy. Wild. It's wild how fast that will form in. Is that the word? Formants? Formants.

Formants, yeah. Formants, yeah. Life. Yeah. I've had two, I think, in every time. Like I had to replace the bristles. This was before they were like. They jacked you on the bristles.

They jacked on the bristles. And I would get, I would buy it and buy like a three-pack and go through the bristles. And then I would just be like, well, I'm not order it. Like I would, you know, I'd just be like, oh, let me just use this old, this like traditional toothbrush. And then I just never fucking ordered it. Yeah, I love it.

I'm a big traditional guy. I want to go now. The clean you get from my election. It's way different. It's way different. So much better. I think that just, you just feel that way. Because it is that way.

Because it's clean, I think. Yeah, it's for short. I feel. Yeah. Do you floss? Sometimes. It's a hard no. I don't do it all the time.

Who's asking, Faddy? No, I got it flossed because I used to have braces, but I never wore my retainer. So now that my teeth are just banged up again. Sure, you know what you need to get? I forget the company, but it's Glide. And they're like the single pics. And they go in.

It's like orgasmic feel. It doesn't hurt. It's like they slide right in. I use the ones that they look like a little harp. And they have a little pointer on there. Yes, yes, yes. Fucking Viking sword. Next time you ever get the ones that say Glide,

it's a game changer. OK. Game changer. Don't do it. Absolutely. Absolutely. But I would do what they said. I've just never, I'm too efficient,

but I would definitely absolutely. I've done it 100%. It stinks. It's tough. Those aren't meant to just be used as regular. Yeah, they're too small. All right, this one's from Ian. And then let's wrap it up here.

Have you ever removed your own stitches? If you're doing any sort of medical procedure. From my mouth, I have. I think they tend to fall out, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's a little. But I've picked at them. Yeah, I picked at them, used my tongue.

It was the weirdest sensation. What? They were removing their own stitch. I mean, people. What are you? John McCann. John Wick. I bet you the travelers do.

Change it. Change it. We were out. Dude, we were so out. We were gone. They just seem like such tough people. We were on the fucking 95 North. We were on the opposite direction.

And then you just turned this guy out. Go and do that. Yeah, but no, I've never removed my own stitches. No, that's wild. My brother took his cast off. I remember that. She was Ricky Bobby? Sizzles?

Yeah, in the middle of the night, it was just like, I got to get this thing to fuck off of me. I just took it off. You know you're healed if you want to take it off. No, I think it was like the first week. Jesus Christ. My actually, now that you say it, I had a cast. And then my dad took it off.

What? Yeah, like in the departed. He just smashed me against the wall. Why? Are you a rat? Are you a traveler? Are you going to stop doing coke deals with your jerk-off cousin? He goes, who'd you love more, me and your mother?

Wait, why did he take it off? Nah, that was the whole bit. I just brought it up. That was the joke. I just brought it up for that joke. He moves quick. He sets them up and knocks them down real quick. But now you maybe feel like an idiot.

You're the best. The kids all right, Collie T. Colm, Tarell, everybody. The Wizards are high. Collie, what do you want the folks out there to know you got coming up? Plug away. Fire away. Oh, I'm recording a crowd work album at the stand in New York

City, October 6, I believe. But tickets are available right now. Only available on my Patreon. Patreon forward slash column Tarell. So you'll get a code there. There's only a few tickets available. Come out, check it out. I'm doing it all myself.

Every single thing. I don't have a single person helping me. I fucking disquiet. He's a self-made man. Self-made man. We talk all the time about fucking how to, because nobody's coming to bring you to the party. The buddy, the cavalry is not coming to save you.

No, you've got to learn. You guys, big inspiration to me. I love what you've done. You guys, you're growing all the time. You've got a big, big future ahead of you. Thank you. You guys are leading the way for people like myself. And I'm proud of you guys.

Oh, buddy, we're proud of you. We love you. Hilarious, good work ethic. You guys are great. If you don't support his podcast, please go check it out. It's absolutely fantastic. Support his Patreon.

I'm going to have the two of you on the guest soon. Yeah, for sure. We're hoping. We've had some scheduling conflicts. This guy's on vacation every other week. Every time I talk to him, he's like, yeah, no, I'm in Tokyo. What? No, it's 2 AM.

Well, OK, for that comment, I'm ignoring your call next time. But please come check it out. 100%. Check out the Wizard of Pod gang. Thank you. Kippy, what do you got for him? Just always, please make sure you subscribe. iTunes, YouTube, and Patreon, and guys,

the live shows are fucking cooking by this point. I think we'll have Texas, Philly, Long Island. We're working on New York City and working on West Coast. It's working on everywhere. So get some fucking tickies. And come and see us. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week.

Above all, peace. Peace.