Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Cops Under the Influence! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come t...o a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Better Help: Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/GARBAGE Factor: Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/garbage50off and use code garbage50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. Pretty Litter: Right now save 20% on your FIRST order and get a free cat toy at https://PrettyLitter.com/garbage. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Calling Seattle, Portland, San Fran, Braia, California. The boys are coming west, baby. We're taking the Oregon Trail out to the left coast, and we're coming to see you. Grab the squad and come on out. Yeah, if you're a dirtbag, we need you there, baby. All tickets available at are you garbage.com. See you there. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage,
Starting point is 00:00:22 the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. Oh, yeah. So our little show, we sit down with your favorite comedians
Starting point is 00:00:44 and we find that to get to be classy. Yeah. Or if they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootie's in the new edition. She's going to be starting physical therapy tomorrow. Okay.
Starting point is 00:00:57 Got her back blowing. out last night my cause is coming at you from across the table that deserved a lot more what the fuck dude you are you are a killer right there i left i'm surprised last comic standing's not called me but not i'll be in a writer's room he is the CEO of are you garbage he is international businessman let me tell you right now despite what just happened my best pal in the whole lot you can't put that on me i'd want to have in the fox first guy you're dude you're all over the road today first guy one I have in the foxhole.
Starting point is 00:01:29 Last guy I'd want to leave the foxhole. He didn't show up late to the foxhole for being on. He left. He left me a couple of heaters. My good pal. Kevin, James Ryan. Hey, what up, gang. Shout out to you.
Starting point is 00:01:40 As always, thanks for tuning in. Please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video available over there on Spotify. And I got to be honest, I had a new guy Luke. Look up the tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Pull up the numbers over there coming in across the wire. And check in a minute.
Starting point is 00:01:54 The ticker tape. Those numbers are free. freaking nice big numbers over there Spotify is hot on the kids like you shout out to it baby and then obviously the greatest website of all time www. www. patreon.com so I'm sorry garbage you go over there you get all that bonus content
Starting point is 00:02:09 gang I'm talking up to two episodes a week in addition to the two that we do on YouTube plus you get all the episodes from the last four or five years I've taught a couple of a jillion hours worth of content over there very good stuff and gang we're here for what we call a family episode just the boys
Starting point is 00:02:25 the bozos and the homies just to what we like Like, and before we get to start, we always need to do a little something. I like to walk the office a little bit, grab a little water into water cooler, cruise by the old corner office. That's a quick cruise by. Yeah. When Mr. Lucie resides over there, just walk by, knock on the door. Hey, hey, hey, don't kid, good to see you, good weekend, all that kind of stuff.
Starting point is 00:02:43 You know what I mean? Do you have the numbers for me? What numbers? Oh, is that how it is? Is that how it is? Man, I'll put you back in the fucking mail room. You're kidding me? I don't care who your dad's golf buddies are.
Starting point is 00:02:54 I'm telling you that right now. I'm a little brat. Have you bringing me my sandwiches? I think I'm going to take orders from a guy half my age. I'll do it. Think I'm going to take orders from a guy half my age? It doesn't way more money than me, huh? Keep them checks coming.
Starting point is 00:03:06 I'll do it. I mean, you like your sandwich. Good to see you, pal. Good to see you, too. Very nice. How are they doing? I was just trying to get his vacation approved, if we're being honest with you. Trying to get an advance on his salary and get a vacation approved.
Starting point is 00:03:19 That's what he's doing. Hey, what's up, Mr. Dempsey? How are you doing? How do kids are you going down the shortest weekend? I got a bachelor party in Charleston. next week. What do you want for me? He's a good friend of mine. Brought me a coffee and some Zins. Yeah. I brought you a log
Starting point is 00:03:33 as you kids called the other day. Company dime. Yeah, I figured I'm paying for that. I'm paying half of that. But that keeps him happy. And you want him happy. He can buy his own fucking, he can buy his own thing. He's well compensated. Well compensated. Don't forget that. You got all those goddamn computer screens
Starting point is 00:03:49 in front of you. You're going to use... Datsy Group does well. Dempsey Group does well. Your trash is our trust fund. Your trash is our trust fund. The Dempsey group. I wanted to bring this up to both of you. Not that you didn't know this, all right? But I really, okay, they say that you age, like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:04:09 I can't remember what it is, but it's like you notice a difference in your age and like when you're 20, like when you're 20, something, some age like that or some breaking down like that. Okay. There's actual times where you see the transition. Uh-huh. And I think I've crossed over into one a little bit. Okay.
Starting point is 00:04:26 You know what I mean? despite my um overweight appearance okay different than that i've noticed that like my eyes are changing a little bit you know what i mean they're starting to get a little bit older okay right and like my skin is starting to get a little bit older and the thing that i wanted to to to break out to you is uh the hair situation yours yes not not not not here this is i mean come on we'll take we also take this at a fucking bank they'll give me a loan on this thing i don't know okay Really? I think it's a little straggly.
Starting point is 00:05:00 Listen, I'm, this might come off as me being a hater, being that I ain't got great hair. It's not that. I've always been a champion of your positive assets. I've also been a critic of your negative assets. Very critical. Which are very, very overwhelming.
Starting point is 00:05:15 Yes. I don't want you to judge me on my wins. I want you to judge me my losses. Because I have so many. Judge me on my flaws because I'm mostly flaws. Yeah. No, I, listen, it's been better. It's a good head.
Starting point is 00:05:27 a hair you're you're getting a little gray got a little streaky get a little long get a little gross getting a little you know that's all i'm saying i could use like a good perm blow out i've been really thinking about getting blow your back out would you guys like that if i got a perm i'm not really i mean i don't know sure what i need i mean i don't really care what you do with your hair it's just not that great anymore what i need at the right time which i think will be around the end of this year to go to find some nice joint downtown you know nice salon and go go get a go get a real get a wash a shampoo. I don't understand why you don't just go do that tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Why don't you do that tomorrow afternoon or Thursday or whatever? Because I would like to earn that. I would like to be in a little bit better physical shape until I do that. Can I give you something? It might make you feel a little better. You walk up and make you put you in a better mood. Make you make me even more better steps. First part of feeling goods look good.
Starting point is 00:06:15 I don't want to be the fat guy walking around with the hairdo. But you'd rather be a fat guy walking around with a hair do than a fact guy walking around with all bad gear and stuff. It's not that. Not the hair. It's the other places. with the hair. Am I? Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:29 The ear hair. Oh. Dude. Do you have that yet? Little. I mean, just like a one or two, not, not an, a non-issue. Dude. But I find it more and more.
Starting point is 00:06:41 Sucks. Yeah. I just don't, why is that a thing? It's protection, right? Is it? Yeah, I mean, I think hair is mostly protection. So what? I'm getting older, so it thinks that I need more hair?
Starting point is 00:06:53 It's like vines growing around an old house. Yeah, I've protecting that old brick and stuff. like that you know what I mean expose them hardwood floors it's kind of funny you bring that up because I had it hit me the other day I caught a glimpse of my hog
Starting point is 00:07:08 and I got to tell you it's an old man hog I don't know if it's the baby or just stress lack of sleep or now that I have a baby there's like some like I'm now I now view my hog differently old man's penis it's an older
Starting point is 00:07:25 I used to have a young I used to have a fucking tight sack, a spry, spry a little zinger. A little, you know, a little zinger on you, a little, you know, a little zinger on you, a little, you know, a little pep in his step. I, dude, this is like a one-eyed fucking, got a bit of a cough. Yeah. Yeah. I'm up, I'm up. Nothing, but it was just like one or two extra wrinkle.
Starting point is 00:07:48 I'm like, what the hell is you? I caught him like, that ain't good. That's, you know, he's just beat up, weathered man. Sitting in his chair in the dark watching the news. the TV dinner Yeah That's, you know Waiting on his son to call
Starting point is 00:08:01 Or something like that Sleeping in the recliner Yeah Just rest of my eyes I'm just rest of my eyes Yeah I had that too It was definitely like a
Starting point is 00:08:11 Who man Getting there baby Getting older baby It's really time It's really now the time To start I don't know But
Starting point is 00:08:20 What? What? Excuse me? Shut It's scary to think about Boy, getting older, you're 50, dude That's crazy I'm 49, dickhead
Starting point is 00:08:31 All right You've lived the life of a 150 year old You're like fathered, you're like a wizard Fucking guy over here Cut you up and count the rings Like a vampire I've been alive before the age of men
Starting point is 00:08:45 I'd love that What? To be one of those guys A vampire? Yes Why? Just sleep all the time Sleep during the day
Starting point is 00:08:54 Suck dudes Dudes You do sleep during the day And at night You're sleeping a lot But I like the idea of being Omnipotent Does the right word?
Starting point is 00:09:08 Somewhat Being a rat Knowing or all present Well like if you're I wouldn't be able to do it now But if like I became a vampire tomorrow Okay Hold on let me get there
Starting point is 00:09:18 Okay Yeah all right I'm with it It took me a second If I became a vampire tonight watch my last sunrise probably down in New Orleans that's where they get me
Starting point is 00:09:29 that's just from interview with the vampire watch my last sunrise to go through all that shit get up on my vampire in like 400 years just think all the cash I'd have I'd know everything
Starting point is 00:09:42 I'd speak every language you do nothing You think I would still stink? Yeah I would still stink See this is This is your problem This is your problem you're now living in such a fantasy role where you're like if I was a vampire
Starting point is 00:09:58 I'd be and I had 400 years to get my act together first of all you gotta be magic you need 400 years and then you go imagine how much cash I'd have zilch you'd blow you'd have you'd have 400 years to blow it that's what you would do you would blow it but I could just steal it you'd be fatter you can't get out it during a day you can't eat I count I think I eat regular shit you'd figure it out Do vampires eat regular food? You would stay the exact same as when you changed. Oh, I can't lose weight?
Starting point is 00:10:29 Unless you, no. The hell can a vampire can't fly? You're only like six inches off to ground. Uh, I, listen, uh, you'd be pale as shit and you need color because when you get pale, it's bad. You don't want to be a vampire. My skin don't look good. The face don't look good now. I need a little collar look good.
Starting point is 00:10:51 Yeah. Yeah. So you, listen. I don't think that's, I don't think, I don't think there's a right career move for you right now. All right. Let's run up by our suits. Maybe a gargoyle. Yeah, something like that.
Starting point is 00:11:02 Freeze me in the, in the, turn me in the stone for about a thousand years. And then what? I don't know, go get something neat. Imagine that stretch it. All right. Let's quit screwing around. Yeah, we got a gosh darn family episode on our hands, gang. As you know, we may or may not be vampires at the.
Starting point is 00:11:23 the moment as you when you join the old Patreon we'll answer your garbage question on the air um and let's friggin' get into it um all right this one's uh this one's from Jacob long time $10 absolute class but love and
Starting point is 00:11:39 observe trash this is my first time question okay but then okay this one is it garbage to have decoy nice things visible in hopes that if you get robbed they won't search for the good stuff.
Starting point is 00:11:55 My dad has a decoy $20 mini safe that's very visible in his room and fake jewelry box on his dresser to distract from his real money stash hidden in a box full of old t-shirt. I'm not hearing this guy's fucking shit out in his closet so if someone breaks in
Starting point is 00:12:11 they'll steal the decoy and his cash is safe. I refer to the buy him a real safe that bolts into the wall, but he said that's too obvious. I got that is, I never liked them. Not that I have that many valuable things except them jeans cool guy jeans which
Starting point is 00:12:26 I think was right down the middle that was like a 50 50 split split you look good in them trying to get that vacation approved I do I always thought that if you see a safe it's like well then I'll just if somebody
Starting point is 00:12:44 breaking in your house and you know I don't think a safe is not gonna keep looking you're gonna keep looking Just because you don't grab the first jewelry box on top of the thing And the fake little safe there I think you're looking then gets I think you go I've gotten something good I'll give a quick toss
Starting point is 00:13:03 But you're not looking you're already you gotta think that time's on I've never fucking broken it I've never fucking be a clock calling out clock's running Yeah so you're not like you know you're going all right I got something that looks pretty good I got people are on drugs though uh yeah I mean I would I they're not spay Unless they're like, you know, it's like an art heist or something, they're fucking in and out of there. They're not like wandering around. Yeah, you might get the guy who's all in fucking goofballs who makes a sandwich or whatever.
Starting point is 00:13:32 But also to for just that reason, for your entire life, every day you have a fake jewelry box just sitting on your thing just in case the one time you get robbed. That's crazy. I respect that. Yeah. And the chances you get robbed are zilch. Like, I mean, how many people actually get a fucking B&E? Yeah. You know, 0.01% or something? That sounds like an awesome
Starting point is 00:13:54 That's crazy Sounds like a fun hang That's a good time Yeah Yeah Yeah we never We never I always was big into hiding spots
Starting point is 00:14:03 As a kid Hide my fucking Cigs, my lighters Before I was a lot of have lighters Bubblecum Uh Weed stuff like that I always had really good ones
Starting point is 00:14:14 Remember Red Dog the beer Yeah That merch was big On Wildwood boardwalk They were giving out stuff down I'm like That was the big thing if you can get a big red dog.
Starting point is 00:14:24 Yeah? And I fucking gutted the middle of it. Oh. I kept my seat so you hid that. What? The stuff that animal. I didn't want to hit my buddies to see what I was snuggling with. I mean, it's just a little bad-ass dog.
Starting point is 00:14:37 I'm sure I've asked you. You never had a, like, a teddy bear. No, not really. Not that, I mean, I'm sure as a kid, like. Hug the carton of heaters. We had those little wrestling guys, but that was. like that was like more to like wrestle with oh not remember the wrestling like stuffed animals that's what i'm talking about oh really they were like yeah i had the ultimate well i think we had
Starting point is 00:15:01 me danny had the ultimate warrior and i had sting maybe i believe it's probably a ploy for my dad to try to you know enjoy his house more i'm like here's the coolest toy at the moment fucking bam take that uh so we had those but like i mean i had a blanket that i remember that was about it sleeping bag marlborough miles no uh i remember that but like that was like my thing i had like a blankie as a kid you know what i mean i had bunny and george the fuck is bunny and george
Starting point is 00:15:32 my stuffed animals what are they it was the little bunny and then a guy named curious george oh curious george why do you say that you're for what are you his friend i called him bunny and george wait wasn't curious george the monkey yeah so but you was a guy or a monkey did you have the guy from curious george you had the guy in the yellow you had andy you had andy or whatever his name
Starting point is 00:15:51 name was he didn't have a name whatever it was just a man in the yellow hat probably it was shady shit it was the man in the yellow man lived with a monkey that's weird that and i never got the guy from fucking uh from garfield either oh that dude's deal got a job or something will you fucking hanging out with this cat go get some pussy he tried to yeah the cat never liked anybody scared a broads away i think he was a he was a uh the music writer the guy john yes from Garfield. John bum knuckles? Turnbuckle.
Starting point is 00:16:23 Arbuckle. Turnbuckle. That was my take you back to my ultimate warrior days. I think he was a composer or something like that. Or a piano teacher or something. That shit missed me. Talking cat with the lasagna. Did you like Heathcliff?
Starting point is 00:16:38 That was a little before my time. Like, you know, like. That was like. Heathcliff was already a little personality. Yeah. I didn't mess with any of that, really. I remember. I remember.
Starting point is 00:16:49 but it wasn't like my it wasn't my cup go to you yeah bunny and George so you had a bunny that you just called bunny a random bunny yeah and then you had George
Starting point is 00:16:58 Curious George Curious George and they were so you called them Bunny and George that was my guys goddamn adorable Bunny and George it sounds like a 70s duo yeah
Starting point is 00:17:07 that's not bad way too late really yeah what's too late a couple weeks ago like like 11 like it was like you're hiding it from your friends
Starting point is 00:17:16 1112 I never guys I mean like it's part of the big joke is that like my childhood was like very stunted but like dude that's what 11 year old like you know 11 that's not too late man for stuff for stuffies yeah it is yeah what did you do what you shit in the uh and i hit my shit in the fucking red i fucking gutted him but you had to keep the integrity because if he if he looked empty that you'd be jammed up but i forget some sort of i built some inner structure to maintain the outward form so he didn't look
Starting point is 00:17:49 compromised. I kept my, probably heaters and probably a little dine bag or some couple bag of shiggots I would get. Right? Yeah, keep them in there. Smoked a little doobie. Yeah, not that. I mean, I wasn't a big reefer head. Uh, but I panic. I freak out. I'm a little high strung. But, uh, yeah, we keep it in there. And then like that was, because that was like, that branding was so cool at the time. That wasn't a stuffed animal. That was beer merchandise. Right. That was. I wasn't. I wasn't. and stuffy and George. That was like, this guy's fucking, let's walk.
Starting point is 00:18:22 This guy's got a bar. Yeah. He's drunk drunk. Yeah. Exactly. Gang, this episode is sponsored by Better Health. As you know, we said it a million times. Kevin and I, mental health journey.
Starting point is 00:18:34 Some up, some downs. Some high, some lows. Some highs, some lows. Things that started us off was BetterHelp. Take that step into talk therapy and do it with a professional. Don't be crying in your bartender or bitching out your business partner or whatever. Uh-huh. Learn that the hard way.
Starting point is 00:18:52 Listen, I've used talk therapy multiple different periods of my life for different problems, different issues. Probably trashing me. Some family stuff, some just life stuff, relationship stuff. And each time to get back into it is very hard. I drug my feet. I was like, nah, you know, let me, maybe next week I'll look, I'll call so-and-so's guy. And you drag your feet and it's very tough. You call you leave a message.
Starting point is 00:19:14 That guy ain't answering because he's in with somebody. And you don't call you back. He leaves a message. You call him back. You're playing phone tag. Better help for me how to solve the problem is like, let me just get started. Let me just get my foot in the door. I can do it from the comfort of my own home.
Starting point is 00:19:26 It's not that big of a lift. And it's been a fantastic entry point into my mental health journey. I highly, highly suggest it if you're at that point in your life, which everybody should. Everybody could use a little help from time to time. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of experience. Find the one with BetterHelp.
Starting point is 00:19:46 Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash garbage. That's better help help.com slash garbage. Do it. Okay, but let's talk about FACTA. Buddy, what do you know about Factor? Excuse me? What do you know? I know they're tasty and delicious. Uh-huh. And I know you can heat them up in about two minutes in the microwave and they're fantastic.
Starting point is 00:20:05 And we've been talking about it for a long time. Factor, another OG here. Yeah. Got a bunch of them in the fridge right now. It's all right. I might have one for my second lunch. Guys, they have more variety, more meals. Choose from a wider selection of weekly meal options, including premium seafood choices. like salmon and scrimps at no extra cost.
Starting point is 00:20:23 Also support your wellness goals, even more GLP1 friendly meals, which is very important. And new Mediterranean diet options packed with protein and good for you fats. Plus the flavors, listen, it's high quality eating. I'm a shredded chicken taco ball.
Starting point is 00:20:37 A lot of different cuisines, a lot of ethnic this, that little flavors. I ain't never had before. Factors opening up my eyes and kicking me in the pants with a little cung-pal flavor. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:20:48 They have more choice. This is for better nutrition. That's why 90% of customers say that Factor help them live healthier life. I am one of those customers. Feel the difference no matter your routine. Eat smart at FactorMeals.com slash Garbage 50 off and use the code Garbage 50 off. They get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. Hachimachi.
Starting point is 00:21:06 Hello. That's code Garbage 50 off at Factor Meals.com for 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. Get delicious, ready to eat meals delivered with Factor. Offer only valid for new Factor customers with the code and qualifying all. a renewing subscription purchase. Do it. So, yeah, that was, that was, that was one of my go-to hiding spots. I always lost, I was very big on that all.
Starting point is 00:21:28 You ain't going to find this shit. Wouldn't be able to find anything on me. Straight. Just a pocket. That's it. Just a shirt pocket. Wouldn't even know this shirt. I wouldn't even know to look.
Starting point is 00:21:41 You don't even know the shirt had pocket. But that, I would go back. That is the place every, it's everybody, I've done it. You think the shirt pocket hanging in the, It's got to be in the bottom of the dirty hamper or something like that. You ain't getting me. If it's in the closet, that's getting found. You know what I also do?
Starting point is 00:21:57 I have a jacket. No one knows where it is. But I have a jacket. Still at the store. I have a jacket that I never wear that I've taken one of the pockets. And I slit the pocket open. And I put stuff in there and then move it around into the jacket. Move it around into the jacket.
Starting point is 00:22:17 I'm sorry. When you rip open a pocket, it goes into the jacket. jacket into the inside of the jacket and just moving around to the back of the jacket that's it you wouldn't even know you'd check the pockets oh you cut the inside of a jacket yes huh okay you like that nah seems like a lot come by see what you find nothing the last thing i want to do is to start rooting around your apartment we should do that no we shouldn't that would be great no see if you can find my hiding spot life i could find yours straight to your underwear drawer Nothing here
Starting point is 00:22:50 I'm like There's a big safe You walk right by it Where are your drawers at, Kip Yeah Okay I respect that craziness A good hidey
Starting point is 00:23:02 A dirtbag loves a I think classy people To have a safe deposit box Something something Their stuff's insured Hey I don't care You know whatever I want to get one of those
Starting point is 00:23:13 What? Safe deposit box Yeah me too Yeah just to have one I take the key right Yeah yeah the key no you have the key and they don't look what's in there they can't wouldn't people be hiding drugs and shit like that in there think that I mean I'm assuming
Starting point is 00:23:29 uh I doubt drugs because if you're I think it's like money I think people would have I think it's like money and documents but like I jewels I don't think drugs makes sense I mean if you're selling drugs you're not like in the business of holding them right so you're not like I I'll let me go, and it's not that big. Mm-hmm. I mean, you can get a bigger one, but like... Put a beer in there? I mean, you can put a beer in if you want,
Starting point is 00:23:55 but, like, I mean, if you're going to put drugs in there, what are you going to then go get them in two days? Like, that's fucking, it's just a waste of... Knock it out of the bag at 11 o'clock at night. Yeah, it's fucking wasted. Ew! Can I use this ATM to take out my drugs or my safe deposit box? I just got to get my comb that I left in there.
Starting point is 00:24:11 I need my birth certificate because I'm traveling. I need my birth certificate three in the morning. I'm going to Columbia. But. Great question. Yeah, that's great. This is from Tommy. Yo, is it garbage to rip a siggy, shin deep at the water at the beach?
Starting point is 00:24:28 Yeah. If you're... Sigs at the beach are becoming taboo. Yes. They are. Sigs, obviously, anywhere in public becoming taboo. But Sigs at the beach are becoming more and more taboo. Maybe even prohibited.
Starting point is 00:24:41 Not permitted. But that's got to be done. at your chairs. Yes. Given you're not like on top of somebody. That's just me. I'm a polite. I tend to be a polite smoker.
Starting point is 00:24:57 I don't want to hinder other people. I'm not going to be sitting there chain smoking Sigs if there's a, you know, Sigs at the beach ain't great anyway. It's not. I don't know why. It's sandy. It's the salt. It's the salt air.
Starting point is 00:25:09 Wet. It doesn't bode well. But a heater in the ocean, you just feel wrong. I don't. Then what do you do? You flicking it in? I think I remember my dad flicking them in the water. What?
Starting point is 00:25:20 This is the fucking 90s. That's so fucked up. I mean, I've done more fucked up. Yeah, what the fuck? Also, aren't they dumping like fucking truckloads of trash in the fucking out in the ocean? What's a little heater going to do for my dad? You know what I mean? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:34 Fucking needles washing up on a fucking Wildwood's beach. Remember that? Were there ever actually any needles that washed up on the beach? I think so, yeah. I think that was big in New York specifically. Like back in the day? When there was like, they were just dumping to dump. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:49 You know what I mean? It's taken right out of luck. Needles watching up on the beach. Uh-huh. In 2024, needles were and other medical waste were. I remember this. Report of washing ashore in Maryland, Delaware, and Virginia. Medical waste.
Starting point is 00:26:01 Yeah. So that means that that medical facility, whatever one it was, took it out and dumped it in the ocean. Yeah. There was also the syringe tide from 1987 to 88 in Jersey. That's what I think. That's the stereotype we remember. I mean, that's crazy That a professional
Starting point is 00:26:20 That's so fucked up That those companies Well, the medical company Like the doctor's office isn't Winging it off to peer They're fucking it's You know They hire a company to take it away
Starting point is 00:26:30 Oh yeah We'll store it for you Or get rid of it for you And they're just dumping it on the ocean I mean I think that's relatively Some of that's Legal or looked up I mean
Starting point is 00:26:39 Do you ever see like to like the Indonesia and stuff They just back it up and dump it I mean There's that floating island of trash or whatever I know Try if they can't get that It's like the biggest Texas or something like that I mean how are you going to get if it's the biggest Texas
Starting point is 00:26:54 What can have what fucking boat you're going to take to pick that on Sure they have a boat that has like nets on it or something That can scoop that up And do what with it? Dump it back in the other ocean Take it from the Pacific to the Atlantic I don't know There's also the thing that like 99% of the stuff you recycle
Starting point is 00:27:12 Ends up in a I don't understand the difference between a land Are landfills good or bad? I think generally bad, just, but let me find out. What else do you do with it? I think that's the problem, is that we never figured out what to do with it, the best way to. No what?
Starting point is 00:27:29 This is ironic that we're talking about this on RU Garbage, but there's no proper way to dispose of trash. You bury it? Melt it down? I think that's bad. Why? Burning all the trash, all the plastic and chemis and stuff like that?
Starting point is 00:27:43 That ain't good. Yeah. Landfills. are a mixed bag they're necessary but flawed method of waste management what's the best form of waste management reduce reuse and recycle how you doing also new addition to toty's here how do you feel about these what sound great so far it sounds better you're not banging a table i mean you're still going to figure out ways to do it yeah uh i think it's good it dampens the sound a little bit it's good very nice i didn't know he's getting leathered too
Starting point is 00:28:15 I thought this was a kippy call oh yeah yeah I got it for the hard feelings to do too getting a set of black ones blend in because we're banging we're banging like orangut tangs up here take a little getting used to sure I feel like you should have like a felt pen
Starting point is 00:28:29 or something right here some type of green okay I don't know why a felt pen I don't know like this is like a writing desk now but it's classy it is clay it's a clay I mean I ain't ever had no
Starting point is 00:28:45 friggin' leather place mats? Very, very classy. They're plastic. Feel leather. The best form of waste management is reduce, reuse, recycle. Hey. That's off my website. Everybody in comedy dark.
Starting point is 00:29:01 Okay. All right, let's see here. This one's for a Mochella, $10 hair, homie, never have one read. Is it garbage key produce bags for future use other than produce? Those bags stink. They are too thin. To do anything. Just talking about recycling, no.
Starting point is 00:29:18 I don't think you should use those bags at all. I don't like not using those bags. There's got to be... I feel like a pilgrim. I need my stuff in plastic bags. I like feeling like a pilgrim. And also, when you leave your shit in there, the bird leaves them in all those bags
Starting point is 00:29:35 and then puts them in the fridge and like this moisture builds up inside of it. No, you got to take them out of the bag. You got to take them out. The bag to me is just the vessel... to get it home to get it in the cart from the cart to the belt from the belt into the bag from the bag into wherever it's going that's how i operate with those thin bags you put them in and it gets real like terrarium type that's what i'm saying yeah all of a sudden there's bugs in here i remember one time i remember eating peanut butter sandwiches out of like you know we were going fucking did a beach or whatever pulling them out of there and like they just didn't hold they're too thin sandwiches fell off part yeah i've used them to like pick up dog shit and stuff like that and that they're too thin for yeah when you're jammed oh holy shit you're like that's all you got feel that heat it's also there's a they got to be colored bags you can if you can see it boogga boga hug feel it a heat in your
Starting point is 00:30:33 finger oh man disgusting fucking dog sitting there looking at you yeah they do in my neighborhood i think i don't know if they're doing a lot of neighborhoods i was like a new york thing or just like more local thing they have like the leave a bag type thing around yeah yeah it's nice plastic bags because you can't really now but there's no one's giving plastic bags out anymore which man if there's anything more useful sure it's horrible for the you know ends up in the seal's asshole and the fucking float an ocean and shit like that but the utility of a plastic bag in your house there's there's nothing better those like thin bags you get at the grocery store now they're like kind of cloth but disposable they charge a 15 cents or
Starting point is 00:31:19 whatever they're not waterproof they're not airproof like de yours it's just you need that black or white plastic bag the thank you for being a customer loyal bag anything anything could be clippers in there dog you're stepping dog shit you got it's something dirty clothes wet clothes fucking to anything. It was fantastic. Yeah. I like it. Dude, I went somewhere yesterday. Talk about reduced for users. I go, this is last week. I went to, like, the pharmacy. It was like an independent pharmacy in New York.
Starting point is 00:31:55 And she's like, oh, do you want a bag? And I was like, oh, yeah, that'd be great. I forget what I was buying, but I guess enough to whatever. And she gave me, she charged me, 25 cents, like whatever, whatever they charge in New York. I think it's, you know, 25 cents. I'm like, yeah, she charged me and then gave me a bag from Target that she's like, I brought this in from home. What? And I was like, it took me a minute because I was, like, getting my stuff.
Starting point is 00:32:27 And I went, do you just sell me something? I don't care, but if I'm paying the, just give me your target bag. But it just felt weird that I'm like, your stuff was in here and then I'm putting my. Yeah. It was weird. Didn't feel right. I wouldn't have done that. Wait, you're charging me for a bag you brought from home.
Starting point is 00:32:44 It all happened very quick, and I was very tired. And I needed a bag. But I walked out being like, fucking Roger stole a quarter from me. Well, it's weird. She didn't, because it went into the till. She just lost a bag. Yeah. What a dummy.
Starting point is 00:33:03 Me? She gave up. Yeah, I mean, I'm not coming out as fucking Einstein in it. She gave up her bag for the company. Yeah. Yeah, she took her own 25% back, yeah. Anyway, it didn't feel right, and I felt a graemey. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:33:19 Yeah. A different store giving you a Target bag. Target bags stink. I got to push back on that. Really? They're a little too small for, like, the utility, but the handles are nice. I think the reusable bags, the good ones that you pay at a dollar for at the grocery store are. They're like, they're like plastic kind of.
Starting point is 00:33:37 Yeah. Those are great. Great. They fold well. They hide well. Well, they have, but now I don't take them back. I'm very anti-take-a-bag with me. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:33:50 I mean, throwing them out. That's fucking, we're trying to reduce reuse and recycle here, okay, big guy? You just throw them out. Yeah. Like, right away? Yeah, right away. That's crazy. I mean, like, listen, I'll push back if you put them in a place and you go, I got a bunch of these.
Starting point is 00:34:04 We would have a million of them. We get them every time. Huh. Two every time, I would say, when we go to the grocery store. Because you usually use two. Two bags. You remember your mom going to the grocery, she's trying to be in, like, eight bags? I've never done that.
Starting point is 00:34:19 Yeah, I just buying, I mean, just buying for a household of fucking people. Oh, yeah. There's all eight bags. Yeah, I remember, like, me and my brother, multiple trips in. Ugh. Why did that suck so bad? That's what I do now. Why are you such a fucking scumbag?
Starting point is 00:34:34 I do it now. Multiple trips in from a Tom Big Target guy now. Big Dad. I'm dad, got the dad jeans, Target, man. I have multiple trips. I just think it's going to be a point where you're asking, you're asking him. I hate it. It sucks.
Starting point is 00:34:53 It's your groceries. It's a lot of his shit. When you were a kid, you had all that energy to do everything. As soon as they said, take your shoes off the stairs and bring them upstairs or, you know, your mother's going to be here in a minute. Get ready. You got to go get the stuff out of the car. fog it'd be like a sunday right after breakfast i'm in the middle of fucking three stooges belly full of eggs toast not much is changed with your resistance to doing stuff if that
Starting point is 00:35:22 bothered you that much as a kid and i just said it bothered you now you turn it on me i do rat ha ha ha ha you fucking doofes you now sure but it doesn't bother me now that much when i'm in the car i'm just saying other things your resistance towards things i'm saying yes but when i'm in the car and i you know i i get back from the store i'm just taking that in with me i'm okay with that and it's usually one or two bags not that big a deal yeah that's fine it's those tote bags they're real nice you're heavy i'm sorry you know what sucks though now is i don't mind you can get all the bags i'll load up every bag clinch it in my b-hole get them in the face and fingers it's the fucking case of water he got to go back and then there's like two things
Starting point is 00:36:14 of fucking diet cake or whatever and it's that's like the the added trips just to be able to bring one like like fucking you know what the killer you got to watch the door so the dog don't get out the killer one back in the day was go get the dog food now oh like a big bag oh I'm like a 400 pound bag of scribble they used to make that stuff that was like feed that was like see you fucking have to throw that big bag on your shoulder? I remember being too young, too little. Like, I didn't have enough mass to carry that.
Starting point is 00:36:43 Remember kibbles and bits, which I don't know if they still make any more, but they had they had like moist ones in there. They were like, it was. Yeah, moist and meaty. Yeah, something like that. And there was, they were almost like marshmallows. I remember tasting one of those things. Yeah. Stuff we used to feed patches. I think it was called
Starting point is 00:37:00 moist and meaty and they were in these little bags and you would do like two in the morning. And man, that one of them would get like kicked under the rug like you know what i mean you'd find it a fucking couple months later something the smell on that it would make me gag and he starts like saliva and stuff i don't get that how our sense of smell as species can be so different like how can a lion go nose deep in it like a dead buffalo's ass and just start grubbing how doesn't that doesn't that
Starting point is 00:37:34 doesn't the decomposition of that turns them on that smell I mean that's what that's appetizing them that's what they eat that you'd probably cook them a nice fillet and they go what the hell you
Starting point is 00:37:45 don't you ruin this good piece and I had a perfect tea bone here and then you went and fucking you did a salt rub on it the serengette for about two weeks get some maggots on it yeah I'll come back
Starting point is 00:37:57 that's the juicy stuff yeah I just I don't understand that like how can our sense of smell be so different and that not like if you're if you're looking like you mean i gave you a comedy answer with the with the with the with with the with with the with the with the with the with the scientific answer i don't know if you're your first time watching a program i ain't the guy to give it to you kibby i'm going to tell you about pretty litter why don't you tell me everything about pretty litter because i don't touch this stuff because i got a dog but you got a cat i love the
Starting point is 00:38:22 stuff let me tell you this i'm in the uh room where the cat does his business handles his business meetings her her thank you sorry yeah uh and i'm in the there, and it's probably been a couple of days since I've dealt, you know, dealt with this chore that I'm supposed to do. I'm picking up on what you're putting down. And I'm like, I don't smell anything. It smells great in here. You know why? Pretty little. I don't. It's the best. It's lightweight. If there's something going on with the cat in her urinary tract, it can give you an indication that it might be time to get her over to the vet so they can make a medical determination of anything going on with the cat, which is fantastic.
Starting point is 00:39:02 It's a tiny little early warning system. Like, hey, take care of the kitty. I mean, what other brand of kitty litter does that? She loves it. It's fantastic. I don't have to carry you a 50-pound bag up to steps. The litter comes right to your door. It's fantastic.
Starting point is 00:39:16 Unbelievable. Like the big man said, pretty litter's crystals are safe for cats and people alike. The advanced odor control means your home smells like home, not a litter box. The ultra-absorbing formula uses less material than clay litter, reducing waste and saving money, ideal for apartments, busy lifestyles, and multi-cat households. Right now you can save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy at pretty litter.com.com slash garbage. It's pretty litter.com slash garbage to save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy, pretty litter.com slash garbage. Pretty litter cannot detect every feline health issue or prevent or
Starting point is 00:39:48 diagnose disease. A diagnose can only come from a licensed veterinarian. Terms and conditions apply ced ciphered details. Do we. During the Volvo Fall Experience event, discover exceptional offers and thoughtful design that leaves plenty of room
Starting point is 00:40:02 for autumn adventures. And see for yourself how Volvo's legendary safety brings peace of mind to every crisp morning commute. This September, Lisa 2026 XE90 plug-in hybrid
Starting point is 00:40:14 from $599 biweekly at 3.99% during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Conditions supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explore volvo.com because for a while when we were like really hurting not hurting
Starting point is 00:40:28 but like when when when I noticed that the groceries really went hard in the non generic yes we used to get my dog this dog food that smell was a can that we never that was more 80s shit it smelled so fucking bad that I remember I got like a drop of it on a on a on a shirt like a flannel shirt my mom washed it and washed it and I would be able to go and still smell it like a little like a little cigarette drop up so fuck I don't know what the fuck it was putrid brutal there's there can't be how does a dog like that that's what I'm saying they don't know they know they know's a dog's a real hoity if I if I throw a dog a donut he's gonna eat that that smells good and edible dome but so and if he likes the smell of a donut
Starting point is 00:41:19 like I do. How can he also... If this dog's anything like me. How can they also like the smell of, you know, gross shit like that? Yeah, I don't know. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:41:36 I've never really thought about it that way, but they're also eat kind of, and they're garbage that they're not, there's nothing gross to them. It's either appetizing or not appetizing. The scientific answer is unique gut biomes What's this guy? You were asking Monkey and George over here Mr. Wizard got up
Starting point is 00:41:58 I didn't ask you What does that mean? That's got nothing to your sense of smell Gut biomes The intestines of scavengers contain specialized bacteria that are resistant to toxins And help them eating decaying flesh
Starting point is 00:42:11 That's not sense of smell That's not what makes it appetizing Does it? Or maybe appetizing you've got nothing to do with it. I think this might be a folly ploy to start eating raw animals that he's, you know. Guys, what the hell's the difference between me and a lion on a Serengetting? There was a raccoon on the Southern State Parkway a couple days ago. It looked pretty good.
Starting point is 00:42:34 Legs up in the air. Yeah. All right. Let's see here. This one's from Willis. Is it garbage to put bring chairs on a wedding invitation? My sister's getting married next week and she put bring chairs into cooler of be. years on the invitation so two ways it's super cash party in the backyard whatever whatever
Starting point is 00:42:56 like barbecue style kind of more of hang totally okay with that if you got me in a fucking suit if I'm expected to wear a suit and fucking bring furniture I ain't going to the fucking wedding yeah I do remember people having parties where it was not like it was a cookout but like bring your lawn chair I don't I yeah I don't I've never I've never attended something like that bring your own lawn chair yeah bring your own lawn chair just like hang out in the backyard
Starting point is 00:43:30 yeah because people don't have that many yeah I don't know what that setup would look like though if it is it just a chill but then like what are you just getting one big circle I don't know the execution of that I can see that you ever sat in a big circle like that yeah the family used to do that a lot and at the softball games they would do it a lot so crazy they just hung out so much
Starting point is 00:43:52 when I was a kid like that's what parents did they just hung the fuck out they would all get together and drink that be yeah people are doing that yeah I know I know yeah I just don't see it sure
Starting point is 00:44:05 uh my uncle my uncle Mike was telling me and we were talking he's got uh he's got a place down the shore and in their, they call it the courtyard. So they have like the house. He bought like an old house. And behind it there's like two, one bedroom little, you know, units.
Starting point is 00:44:27 And they have like a little patio, a little concrete patio. And a little bit, you know, on the side of that, that's in the back. And then on the side of the house, it was like a patch of grass that they put above ground pool in. And my cousin Mikey, who helped build the addition here, built a bar, like a tiki bar. And they was a fucking po. They'd watched, they had a TV on the tiki bar. they'd watch the Phil's games in the summer in the pool fucking reaching over, grabbing beers, drinks in a teakie bar.
Starting point is 00:44:51 Great, great North Wild Woodhang. Nothing's better than an above-ground pool, tiki bar, Phil's going. Sure. Having beers. But then, I think that this is, you know, between, they had to get a new above-ground pool. And order to do that, they had to remove the old one and then, like, put sand down or whatever, something.
Starting point is 00:45:13 So they had sand. and then the pool was delayed to getting put in so for like three weeks it was just sand and we had beach chairs in there so you'd go over you're in flip flop to beach and I remember he's like dude I think about that
Starting point is 00:45:31 because I was looking at him like we were all sitting there he's like everybody's like fucking going but you know and he's going I said to him and I remember he's like I went why are you putting a pool in we're fucking chilling right like we're chilling at the beach and we're not on the beat you got all the good
Starting point is 00:45:50 stuff of the beach tutsies are in the sand i'm putting heaters out scooping them brushing them over you know what i mean i'm like we're vibing right in a big ashtray yeah what the hell and he's like dude i think about how great those those three weeks of that summer where like everybody would just go over there's 15 20 chairs all in a big circle just hanging and not a care in the world Tolly nuts as far as the eye can see They don't sell to go, right? No During the pandemic they were
Starting point is 00:46:21 I didn't have one tolling nut all summer Get a big picture of that To the house as a party I wonder if they'd ever do that You had a big party on the shore I'm sure maybe they would You know I remember some of the tailgates
Starting point is 00:46:32 I'd see them they'd be selling them They'd like a backpack cooler They'd be selling them for like you know Whatever. With the number one would Yeah like the guys Yeah yeah yeah I remember when the Phillies
Starting point is 00:46:40 I guess it was like 2008 or whatever they were, I saw them at the tell they, you know. Cully nutter. They were fucking slang and tea nuts. Make sense. All right, this one's from Ashley. Is it garbage you have to wear two different shoes to court?
Starting point is 00:46:56 I mean, you're losing that fucking cake. Why would you have to? What set of circumstances do you have? I can see maybe you mess up and you have two, you know, you make the mistake, you're colorblind, but having to.
Starting point is 00:47:13 they're forced to because you don't find you you don't have the other ones I can't do it it's too I mean but the chances of you can't find the left like that's I can't understand dirt bowl sure yeah just wear the sneakers yeah like do you have to have one complete set you'll look better in a set of fucking flip-lops a set of crocs then but you wouldn't notice it how often do you notice a man's shoes Andy Dufrein 155. Right?
Starting point is 00:47:46 How often do you notice a man's shoes? I think a judge does take that into account. That's why everybody, you get dressed up in your court club. But you might never see the feet if you walk down into the left and you're behind the table. You throw a smoke bomb at the judge. The judge, I'm not a judge. I don't. Sure.
Starting point is 00:48:04 A judge has to make snap decisions. I'm saying I think, I think it's well documented that judges analyze that stuff. Okay. That's all I'm saying. All right. That's why they say, but you dress up. You come in a, you know. No one said it.
Starting point is 00:48:17 You got two different shoes on? No worries. This case is a slam dunk. Maybe he was going for an insanity plea. I don't know. Sure. Got him on his hands. The internet's saying it's pretty important to wear a good shoes.
Starting point is 00:48:29 Yeah? Yeah. I mean, why is this even up for fuck? What are we doing here? How are we even trying to spin this argument? You have to, for sure. All right. No judge.
Starting point is 00:48:38 No lawyer's going to go. Yeah, fucking. I see one with the, with the, fucking. Reebok in the high eel. Yeah, great. It don't matter. This thing's open and shut. I have this thrown out.
Starting point is 00:48:49 Cop was drunk. Did you see that drunk cop in Massachusetts? No, what happened to him? I don't know. What do you mean? What happened to him? He should he pull the... I think he pulled someone over drunk.
Starting point is 00:48:58 This cop is on fucking Pluto. Uniform cop? Yeah. All fucked up. Uh-huh. Alcoholic. Sure. I don't know why he made it fucking sad.
Starting point is 00:49:09 What the fuck trying to have got fucking fun with that? Oh, yeah, man. It's a disease that it's a crippling. Did he get in trouble? Yeah, he got in fucking trouble. He shows up. He's fucking, you know, he looks like you on a Tuesday night. Pulled somebody over?
Starting point is 00:49:21 I don't have the whole story, but yeah, he was, ah, he was an arresting officer at a some sort of incident. What do you say when you're that guy? This guy's fucking drunk. He's like, look at this boy. He's like, get your boy. And the other two guys are going, easy does it. What would you do in that situation?
Starting point is 00:49:38 What? I go, let me to fuck go. You go your way. I'll go my way. someone take your keys i'm if i come back here and go your your cop cars here my shot be like listen my ship's done at midnight if i let me ask this would he be able to tell if somebody else was drunk okay let's say do you have it it's i think it was in lull mass or it was in massachusetts lynn mass yeah what do yeah he's on administrative leave but was what was the get see if you
Starting point is 00:50:02 can get the facts of he pulled someone over he was dude this guy is looking at you like he's on ketamine like this guy is zooted Like how your first reaction was, oh, you know, things happen. Well, let me ask you this. Okay, so let's say you're driving drunk, okay, and a cop pulls you over. All right, I can get there. All right, and a cop comes up to the window. Right in a window.
Starting point is 00:50:28 And throws out of the window. You drink it right, and he's fucked up. Can a drunk person tell when another person is drunk? I don't know if I really can. Yeah. I mean, I have, this is my, this is my. You understand what I'm saying? Yes, and this is how I know another person's drunk.
Starting point is 00:50:46 Because I know I'm drunk, right? Yeah. And if I go, this guy, me and this guy are vibing right now, he's also fucked up. Because no one's sober, because I know how much I had to drink, right? It's called 15 beers, a couple shots, you know what I mean? Hey, man atting. I know I'm drunk. So if me and this dude are speaking the same language.
Starting point is 00:51:07 What's your problem? Yeah. I did. You want a heater? I'd take you a heater. Just think of what you'd be able to I'd go If I got if I listen
Starting point is 00:51:17 You know Not that I I don't drink and drive I don't condone it But if I was You were drunk You got pulled over And a cop was fucked
Starting point is 00:51:26 Me and him are going I'm going This cop is fucking Making sense to me I'd go You had at least eight beers officer You know All right so let's say this
Starting point is 00:51:38 You get pulled over You're completely sober And this guy comes up to the window I'd call 9-1-1-1. You'd call 9-1-1-1. And be like, this, come get your boy. This guy is fucking three sheets. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:51 What do you got? I mean, I'll drop a picture of the guy. He's leaning on the back of the car. Let me pull it up so far I can see it. Yeah. Oh, man, this poor guy. Oh, is he high? They're saying he's high.
Starting point is 00:52:02 Yeah. Highest fucking on job. Can I come and deal with shit? No, no, I got it told you. Coming off a double. You got a bad back. They're trying to cover him. You got a bad back.
Starting point is 00:52:12 Okay Bad back That's what every That's what every dude on drugs says Uh yeah I'm serving post Yeah let's watch this We gotta watch this
Starting point is 00:52:21 Send me text me Or you what a what link are you watching Yeah let me see if I His boys are great Man I mean Those body cams You're gonna tiptoe around
Starting point is 00:52:35 Listen I don't condone What is that What is that? What do they call that The thin blue line or whatever Of course Um Let me say
Starting point is 00:52:44 I mean like I've been this fucked up Call your sergeant I want your sergeant here I have my rights to call a sergeant here We're gonna call your sergeant right now He's not even moving The guy's the The guy who's getting arrested
Starting point is 00:53:02 Is saying that Is going Go back, let me see one more time I can't I don't I mean I don't I don't have that capacity It's on Instagram What a fucking dick, shut up guy Look at him Look at him
Starting point is 00:53:13 Oh Look at him So High as fuck Highest fucking on job And I come and deal with shit I don't know I told you
Starting point is 00:53:23 Coming off a double And you got out of a bad bad They don't want to get Listen They're trying to They're trying to protect their boy I don't I mean that face right there
Starting point is 00:53:31 Is a guy who is fucked up He worked a double And he's got a bad back His wife's leaving him From now on I worked a double If I'm hung over, I work the double. I got a bad bag.
Starting point is 00:53:45 You know I got that slipped this. What a prick that guy. Who? Fucking bitching. Listen, if you're, listen, I'm not here to cast dispersion. You just say, hey, you're arresting me for something. Whatever. I'm out of here.
Starting point is 00:54:02 I don't care if I got. It didn't look like that was happening, though. Oh, see, that you got to play ball. I don't have all the fact. I don't know. You got to let him go. You say, listen, just get the fuck out. out of here.
Starting point is 00:54:12 It didn't look like that was happening because if that, one of those two cops would be like, dude, hey buddy. All right. They were like, you're still trying to get the collar? What are you fucking nuts? You got to get fucking rusty out of there.
Starting point is 00:54:23 At this point, it's all document. This ain't the 80s. All he's, the guy who's getting arrested, he's got him. I think of his cell phone out. If he wasn't in cuffs. I don't put him in cuffs. Take you.
Starting point is 00:54:36 Hey, listen, we can do this the hard way or the easy way. Take you down town. Hit you with the phone book. If this was the 80s That guy just sort of got fucking clunked over the head And been like shut up Yeah
Starting point is 00:54:46 Dragged the outskirts of town You know Left out of the jurisdiction Yeah that's jammed up Do they say Did they say what it was Or what it is or anything like that? They really are not commenting on it
Starting point is 00:54:59 Yeah I get that My union delegate said I'm not allowed to talk about it Probably kombucha or something Got them Three local news things are like Just respect the family's privacy and blah, blah, like...
Starting point is 00:55:11 Nice. Wait, they got the news playing ball? Yeah. There you go. None of them are posting the video. No shit. Yeah. Man, I had to find it on Reddit.
Starting point is 00:55:20 That's small town shit. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, my, like, the YouTube linked, I was, mine was looking at an Instagram. Yeah. Get your sergeant down here. Shut the fuck up. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:55:29 You're taking it. I listen. You're trying to make a bigger case, but you got to let him go. Even if he's got a body in the trunk. You got to let him go. Do they say, do they have the details? Of the series of events.
Starting point is 00:55:43 Was that guy making the arrest? Because if that guy's making the arrest, I got to go. Buddy, you had the balls to pull me over? Jam my night up? I was going to get some pussy. All of a sudden, you got me fucking... You're pulling me over, dude? Because he...
Starting point is 00:55:57 So the cop was responding to a call of service. He showed up. Yeah. He's not a... There's a fucking problem here. I believe it. He's got the gun. So that guy showed up
Starting point is 00:56:14 Zooten. My man, Bots and Pam. Based on evidence collected to date, including a review of body cam footage and consultation with medical professionals, it appears the officer experience a medical-related episode.
Starting point is 00:56:30 A medical-related... Yeah, you could have a medical-related episode. That's... Yeah, he's fucking... Abusing pharmaceutical painkillers. maybe but wait that's what the that's what the article says that's what boston 25 is saying damn they they didn't they mean business that's fucking hometown right there dog that's love to hear it that's trying to rip somebody's life apart you're fucked up on a
Starting point is 00:56:58 yeah that's fucked up I mean listen that's bad you always have those one I don't do just sleep that one off like listen I don't know I've never gotten I've never had a job like that
Starting point is 00:57:22 where I could get fucked up I guess there's a good amount of downtime at night right there's probably not small town there's not that many calls so you're like
Starting point is 00:57:29 they might even have a thing where it's like hey hey Tuesday you get fucked up Wednesday I get fucked up we cover each other that's what I would do you know what you mean
Starting point is 00:57:37 your own call you go get fucked up you know I got I got this you know then you could fuck up yeah you like you know maybe that's what happened he was supposed he was he was supposed to be he was he was supposed to be
Starting point is 00:57:49 you were Wednesday I thought it was Tuesday I told you I told we switched I thought you were covering for in 2008 2009 2010 that I don't Phil Lelofy Pennsylvania working in restaurants man yeah it's different you're not a fucking you're a fucking bus boy
Starting point is 00:58:05 some nodders going on but uh To show, I just, like, to have someone, just go, yo, dude, I'd, like, tell your boy, I'm fucked up, I can't make it. Send Jenkins instead. Hey, Gallagher, you got to cover this one. I'm fucked up. I'll, you know, I'll buy you dinner tomorrow or something like that.
Starting point is 00:58:24 Showing up to a call. That's bad. That rules. That ain't good. You are jammed the frig up, dude. Fucking Tommy two guns comes in. Everybody down. He's got the gun from Buckhunter in his hand.
Starting point is 00:58:38 There's a cat in a tree. Everybody in the deck. Haynes where I can see you I'll take care of this son of a bitch He goes and gets the A-R Ha-haxed the fucking cat out Yeah Alright let's see this one's from Patrick Barton
Starting point is 00:58:55 You ever have grandparents retire near the beach And then you guys start using seashells as as as as trays Oh yeah That was big I never thought that weird Down the shore There was like the big seashell You know like the stereotypical cartoon
Starting point is 00:59:10 Seashel. Oh, are they clams? Yeah, it's a big clam. Yeah, it is a big clam, right? You never find oyster shells on the beach, really? It's always clams. Yeah, I don't know. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:59:22 Do oysters, like, are oysters, like, caught or, like, more farmed? I don't know. There's wild oysters, I assume. Yeah, I assume, but they, like, you know. That, all that animals eat, because that's how those seashells, that's how those sea shells Uh-huh Wash up on the beach Animals crack them open
Starting point is 00:59:41 I don't think that's right What animals? Like fish and shit I'm not saying you're wrong Never thought about this How does a fish with no arms Crack open a shell That's tough for a human dog?
Starting point is 00:59:54 Or otters or whatever How many otters do you see in Wildwood, New Jersey? They're out there No they're not You would assume where they at? Seals and shit There's no seals in Wildwood, New Jersey There's seals in the Atlantic Ocean
Starting point is 01:00:06 I'm not, listen, that's a big stretch, Atlantic Ocean. Well, it's not just right there. Well, how? Wait a minute. So how do those? Listen, this is a, I'm not saying my logic is right. How does seashells become seashells? Listen, I worked a double last night and I got a bad back, all right?
Starting point is 01:00:24 How does sea shells become sea shells? I believe the clam probably opens or grows or some. I'm assuming it's something in the clams life cycle. A clan doesn't jump from shell to show. I'm not saying they don't. I'm not saying they don't. saying something in the clam's life cycle. I don't think there's...
Starting point is 01:00:39 I would have seen an otter. How does the clam make that shell? It's crazy. There'd be an otter fucking under the boardwalk catching heaters or something. I assume they're just like... Dudes would be catching otters in North Wildwood if there was otters. Sure.
Starting point is 01:00:53 I just assumed that those seashells that wash up on the beach are thousands of years old. That got cracked over years ago. We just have very different perspectives of that. No, you think they're new? I don't know. New. I didn't think thousands of years old. Luke? A couple, a year, two years. I wouldn't think thousands, but their big predators are blue crabs, birds also.
Starting point is 01:01:12 Otters are in there, sea otters. I know I'm for sure agreeing with otters, crack them open. Where does seashells come from? How does a clam? This feels like a stupid cuckle. You never seen an otter crack open an oyster? No, no, no, no. buddy i'm all on board with that i'm saying that that for sure happens but how how are they washing up
Starting point is 01:01:43 in wildwood that i start using them in the water when they're done okay so where's the nearest otter i'm just okay i get that there's blue crabs in the ocean right you give me that you give me that yeah i'm just trying to understand the logic a blue crab goes in rips open the fucking clam eats it breaks the shell the rest of the uh nature eats out the rest of the crap in the shell And then it washes up on the shore. And your fat ass picks it up. Puts a butt out of it. With that ration between your legs.
Starting point is 01:02:13 Oysters build their own shells. Not oysters, dog. Okay. Seashells. How does seashells get made? Okay. Where does seashells come from? It's up with the oysters.
Starting point is 01:02:25 Yes, oysters make their own shell. Which is nuts. How the fuck does that thing make its own shell? Marine animals called mollas such as clams, oysters, and snails, which secrete minerals and cow. calcium carbonate from their specialized mantle tissue to form their hard protective exoskeletons. When the miles dies, the soft body decomposes leaving the empty shells. Yeah, so they die.
Starting point is 01:02:48 When the mullahs die. Yeah, so like I think I was right, the natural life cycle of these things don't live for fucking, you know. They die. It could be five years, ten years, a thousand years. They die and they open up and then they wash. For an honor. I mean, there'd have to be a bajillion otters cracking shells open all day long for that, for that many shells. Like a vet eating pistachios at a bar.
Starting point is 01:03:13 Just like fucking, like you're at the Texas Roadhouse dropping his shells. That's, yeah, no, wait. I'm sorry, Lukie. That's like my boy told you about the oysters. How long do they live for? 25 to 30 years. Get the fuck out of here. What?
Starting point is 01:03:29 Not on my plate. 10.15 seconds. All right, we got to wrap it up, though. What a fun one, gang. We can't thank you enough for joining us. Make sure you get your tickets to the back on the block tour, which starts very, very soon. Be out on the left coast.
Starting point is 01:03:41 Can have a good, good time. Come and see us. Seattle, Portland, San Fran. LA, get the tickeys. Love you. We'll see you next week. Peace.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.