Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Corn on the Cob in the Office? w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: July 31, 2023

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! NEW TOUR DATES: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Trade Coffee: https://www.drinktrade.com/ayg Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Gang the stage trashy tour is coming to a city near you. Stand up comedy plus we play the L.I.G. with the crowd. Shows are selling out and you can get your tickets at rugarbage.com. See you there. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Gobbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast. This is our you garbage. Hey, Joe. So a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it out to

be classy. Yeah. After just a big old piece of trash. garbage. On your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Toddy's in the new edition. She's in the kitchen whipping up a hot meal for the boys. Meatloaf sandwiches tonight. OK. A cold glass of milk. OK.

She's a whiz in that kitchen. Sure. Whether it's that or the meth, she does a really good job. I shot at the blue magic. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. The body surfing king, a wildwood new Jersey Let's go back to claim the crown KJ Kevin James Ryan what up gang? Thanks for tuning in as always please make sure you're right view subscribe on iTunes full video available new to be sure

Those numbers are And obviously the greatest website of all time well over 10,000 subscribers over there Then obviously the greatest website of all time well over 10,000 subscribers over there Patreon.com slash are you garbage gang? We're closing in on the Ireland trip We're fucking crank out of a Jillian hours of content over there. That's the old country back to the old country Toadie's taking a boy's back home. I might shed a tear over there. I'll tell you that yeah, yeah Okay This guy's getting real sentimental to the top of the show. Get a hooker to kick me in the nuts. That's fucking peg me.

Then obviously the second greatest website of all time, www.rugarbage.com gang. You go over there, you get every ticket available for the live shows on a state trashy tour for the fall and winter. Those tickets are moving gang and t-shirts and t-shirts and zippo style lighters better believe it they work that's impure the seas but legally they sent us a season to see a lot of calm zip-o's anymore

the post-style lighters but get tickets to the door gang it's come out and see us gang we love you and have a nice quick shout out to our producer extra order here the magic man makes us all look good works the ones and twos crosses the tees and dots the eyes, give it a pretty bone McScruffins. It's Toby McMullen every week. What up boys? What up Thomas? What up T-Bone?

I cannot wait to go to Ireland, dude. Get Foley in one of those little newsies caps, a jacket with an elbow patch. He's crying, he's never seen so many potatoes, it'll be amazing. You're scotch. Yes sir. Rough you up when you're over there. Fucking heavy in a headlock the whole time, you're no a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man.

You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man.

You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man.

You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You brother has one. I can see Dr. D rollin' around one of those. Free ball in it. He's real tootsie weekend. His PhDs from the University of Aberdeen, Scotland. Ah, yes sir. He loves the regalia dude. He's got the long scarf, the big robe,

the kiltless balls out. Big beans for breakfast. My god, the peat. I wanna go in the fall, if we can, I want it to be cold over there. I want to do the gear, do the fucking the wool sweater and the cabbie hat ball shorts. A pair of flip flops, a Celtic shorts. Sure. Yeah. I want to go. I don't know what we are going to hit the goal. And then that, you know, we then have to carve out time to get over that. I don't know fucking hops. I don't know why I wouldn't do Jersey.

I want those customs involved. There's flights, there's layovers. I want cold, I want the rain and the sheep and the green grass. It rains almost every day over. Ah, yes. Dublin, right? And it, I think the plan is to hit every major city. Can we stay in a country a little bit?

Yeah, of course. Nice. Maybe grant like a little farmhouse. I don't know I could do some writing Get my memoirs in order right a couple of duties She's up there cooking dinner gang Yeah, yeah, that might be I didn't really thought about that. It kind of hit me They were closed it in on I mean we're like a thousand, or, you know, not that far away from hitting a gold.

Yeah, and I mean, that was always something. We never went when I was a kid. Either they would, I went over drinking with them. This is bigger than my buddy. Disney, from, you know, sentimental from me. Oh, yeah. And my uncle, you always tease me. He'd be like, when I was a kid, he'd be like,

you gonna go back and I'm like, go back where, back to the old country. I hate that, because they're not from there But they went yeah, but they went because Take it easy. Don't see another one my own cocky. Yeah, okay, oh man. Oh, he's in his bag. He was just googling psychiatrist Kids losing it No, but I mean my family does it too. I this a thing of like it's so distant of who came over sure Be like back to the old country like you have some sort of real connection to it

I know when my great great great great great great great grandfather came over William Foley was the first one to come over he came over and fought in the Spanish American war and we didn't want him back You can stay there, you know That got his gun When was the Spanish American work and you give me a goo gun that I want to say it was 18 30 something like that That's when he came over 18 98 97

19 It was the millennial back to the future had just come out. Oh, did a bunch of you do the horses singing Bob, but I don't get that cuz wait hold on. What was it 1898? Yeah, that's when he came over. He was a fur I don't know if I don't know if his wife was already here or not. They settled in German town in Wilkesbury. He was a neighborhood in Woksbury. Yeah, even the Irish didn't want them. Had to go to fucking German town. I was always the German town everywhere.

Yeah, it was named as where all the Germans lived. Ah, I wonder why they lived over there. It's fucking dead. When you came over here, you had to stick together. Nobody talked the language. You got your job. No, I wanted to know why my Irish family moved in there. Because he's a fucking turncoat probably.

That's why he's probably trading given secrets away on how to make mashed potatoes or something. Not heard about the schnitzel. Yeah. Fucking family full of rats all yet. Like it's a good, good sour crowd. But yeah, my family does it. We don't have the huge connection to like back

to the old country, but like everybody the has made the play. We don't, but we do. You know what I mean? I know you know how we are. You, yeah, you, yeah. The old country means like your Nana went there. That ain't the case.

I worked at Irish. What the fuck in horse thieves? I worked at an Irish bar when I first moved up here. Any, any of the Irish guys that came over hated my guts. Yeah. They, yeah, they couldn't stand me. You know, I'm giving them the wrong change back and stuff at the bar.

You're all perked up in a bed against this guy trying to get him out of the mud. Yeah, they thought I was a huge pussy. And they were right, but we have an effect like, I always bought the Kalata rings. My mom has a Kalata ring. I mean, I get the Irish, to me, it's a, you know, from a very Irish American family,

to have Irish American culture is different than Irish culture, I would argue. Shame is Italian American culture is different than Irish culture I would argue. I would argue. Same as Italian American cultures way different. The Italian shape. The Italian Americans. Fuck it. Puss.

Do not. They fucking I seen the sopranos. Hey fucking hate those those guinea bass. But Irish American culture is. I'm going to go to a bunch of them. Yeah. Irish American culture is what were you? Was what you know?

Yeah. Is what we know. 100% yeah. Yeah. yeah, we're all about it Post it'll pull up in a green and white cat in the hat hat. I said dr. Susat on Kiss me a myri shirt Shamrock some places I'd get the shit beat out of me Yeah, hey, make me eat this beer up a little more Great got nothing gold back there. He's doing Yeah, hey, man, can you heat this beer up a little more? That's great.

Got nothing gold back there? He's doing. Yeah. Good stuff. I got something I wanted to get. What do you got? I get to take off this family episode. Get the cruise take on here because this has been a, you know, at the moment I'm carless,

I got no wheels, got no way to get around. I was going down going down to visit my mom, uh, last week and I had, uh, I couldn't get a fucking rental car in New York City. Uh-huh. I had no wheels to get anywhere. Uh, which has been a long time, I've had a car for past, you know, handful of years in the city, not being able to maneuver or get to where you want to go is, you know, it's a rude awakening. It helped us.

Helpless. I'm out of here with my dick in my hand. Get to where you want to go is you know as a rude awakening helpless helpless Out here with my dick in my hand. I mean you can always rent one you could hop to train, but if shit went down You're in trouble. I'm in trouble. I died fucking throw my pair of rollerblades and get right over that gwb That's true, but Stay blow it then you're fucking well fucking care I'm going to get a slice from the fucking pizza place relax a little bit Man if there's my hands on a flat bread if they're blowing the bridges I would have the most epic relapse to Before the last piece of concrete hit that water I have a Miller highlight

Cutties in a tall boy that ain't some shit. They tell you on the news beforehand No, you're like what it those construction workers doing under the bridge? Two F 16s has come over. Bing, Bing. Fuck something happened. I don't know where they did that. They did it in I am legend. I think it was and they blew the bridges.

I forgot. But Jim, I'm about to jam up sitting here by myself doing the fog. Anybody out there? Is there anybody? I'll be at aunt Tuddy's house every day from sun up doing the pocket. Anybody out there? Is there anybody? I'll be at Antutti's house every day from sun up to sundown. Man, cause you know,

monsters get you. Yeah, you jammed up. So I tried to rent a car, but I couldn't get my hands on anything in New York. Anything relatively close to me. Isn't it funny? I'd be having to go to the, I'm not going to the airport to rent a car.

No. That's yet to be it. I'm not going to the airport unless I'm flying. It's funny, the surge times on that shit like There's a lot of times in New York where you can't get a hotel room. Yeah, everything sold out. Yeah, it's like a Wednesday Everything sold out well, I think cuz in New York now it was the weekend Everybody who lives in New York that doesn't have a car they rent a car to go to the odd they go to the island They go visit their parents. What happened to zip car? Did they tank? No, I think they're still banging. Yeah. I just don't have an account.

Then you got to set up the account. I was looking at Toro, which is the dirt bag, fucking car rental program, which I belong to. You and your girl riding a rebel scooter. Which for a long time, the only way I could get a car. I'm very annoyed. The only time I could get a car was from Toro, which is the Airbnb for your car.

People just air, you know, lend you their car. Took a couple on the early days of the tour. Early days of the keep it moving tour. They keep it moving tour. The early days of AYG. I didn't have the dashboard. Yeah, we did find a shell casing in the car. I couldn't have a Russian Nissan.

We none of us had credit cards to rent a car. I had, I had to put it on my debit card, but a lot of places won't rent you a credit card. Or rent you a card without a debit card. Yeah, at that time. Especially when you're returning in a different city. None of us had, we had zero dollars, and none of us had a credit card.

Yeah, that's sound, that all checks out. Yeah, you didn't have one either, did you? Still long. Yeah, we landed in, I remember- What do you do, you have a credit card? Oh, I was thinking license Yeah, I've ever been in Chicago walking into rent a car and then having to turn around and walk down Be like well, what the fuck are we gonna do now dude? I was like start a mic here or something

I remember you had a credit card for like 400 bucks and I was gonna have to like we're gonna have to like overpay your bill Yeah, free up enough credit So we could rent the car for like 500 bucks I was going I know why they call it hurts Yeah, free up enough credit so we could rent the car for like 500 bucks. I was going, I know why they call it hurts. Buddy, welcome out there. Capital one started me out with 500. That's what they gave me. And they turned their back on me.

That's all I can do. So now I got three Gs in there. I think it's all right. But most adults, you know, their credit limits like 20 grand. You know mine, right? Yeah, but but what you had that attached to the biz You flopped out a little you told me you're a baseball player Ha ha ha I may or may not have lied about my annual income pretext negotiations Yeah, but they juice me. I also I linked it. I signed with Delta. So I think they were given it away

Mm-hmm. They got they got their hooks at me. I can't even look at another airline Fucking shut me down Want me on a no-fly list if I even think about buying a fucking United dick. Oh, man You get you get real uh You get real tight with your carrier. I look at like American United. I like do yeah Well, I mean they know how to keep you because now, uh, now you know I'm high up there ranked I come up and get thanks personally on every flight we want to thank you for flying with us mr. Ryan look at you a little hand handwritten note from this from the flight attend that

makes you feel warm and cozy hey do it out on spirit fucking the bell rings and actually you know you're in a three round fight that's the only thing they do I want to clean fight you're like what the fuck all right you're in a three round fight That's the only thing they do. I want to clean fight. You're like what the fuck? All right, you're in an exit row and do you have hands? You about to catch them It was a fight breaks out. Can you handle yourself? Instead of instead of are you willing to be able to help? Hey, listen shit goes down guy count on you Stand and I have to say any wife say just going on handing out weapons

The Wi-Fi's out the dude in three B's trying to catch a phase. The Wi-Fi on the airplane is garbage. Sure. That's a scam. Well, it doesn't really let you load. You can text and check emails, but it doesn't really let you load. Where's the neural link or whatever Elon's working on? Starlink.

I think that's going to drop. Yeah, but they'll probably fucking block that so you can't pay. So you can't use that and you have to buy there They want that cash that much to 10 bucks. They got a squeeze you think about how many people buy that a day Think about how many flights there are It's a lot of fucking cash at the end of the year that her travels getting real suspect too a lot of turbulence a lot of fucking Cancelation is a lot of jam ups. I just watched the British Airways like that had the landing and take off. That happens a lot, I feel though.

Is it a win? Yeah. Oh shit, my pants. Sure. That's just one of those things. If it's happening, you just got to go, Hey, fucking, I trust you, baby. Just keep watching. Catch me if you can.

Keep that wife going. I'll be alright. So I'm trying to get out of the city. I ain't got no fucking wheels. I can't rent a car. I gotta see the piece. I ain't going to fucking JFK to get a car then fighting all the way back across the city.

You get to fill it out. Obviously, my mom. They got plenty out there though. Um, so... We were... A friend in a building let us borrow their car. Which... I am...

Amazing guy was like borrow the car anytime you want. I know you're jammed up. That's not me. I don't like doing that because I don't like favors. I'd rather spend 70 grand for a zip car. It's like sharing a condom at his. Hmm. You and your buddy's doing a Jesus Christ. Jammed up. Yeah, it's your buddies doing. Jesus Christ.

Chandler. Yeah, it's just, it's not a great feeling. It's very, let me say it's unfamiliar. Very, I mean, that's not a kid. It's a teenager, if you're driving anybody's car, hey, bills do drunk, you're drunk, whatever, you know what I mean? The only, it would have to be Paul Verzy level cleanliness in the car. Like it almost looked new for it to not feel weird.

Because it's always there's a little, there's this, there's that, there's a smell. I got to be honest, fantastic. Capictite, okay. Very clean car. What kind of whip? Lexus. Not bad. All right.

Yeah. I heard in this guy's pocket. What you never, yeah, Lexus SUV. Nice ride ride plus now you got the hot car. I got the What's gonna be hitting you up? Hey, yeah, I got a hot date. Yeah, wife's whopping Okay, yeah, I'm in with the cars. Sure Jesus Me and T-bone are thinking dirty Switching wives condoms. What are you two doing when I'm away? It's a metaphor man. Oh, no statement

So Now I just also always that you're just It just makes things icky of like what if something happens how far you going This makes things icky of like what if something happens how far you going? Tolls cuz I don't drive it down there the bridge alone 16 bucks. He's got the easy pass away. We don't know so I text him I'm like coming up I think I don't see it but then I you know he ended up he's like I got the easy pass you're good. So but I have rack up it's like 40 bucks up and back.

Yeah you give him that. I know but then he doesn't want to take it at the you know what I mean. So yes I know no but he's going no I'm not taking so hold, you know what I mean? No, so, I, yes, I know, no, but he's going, no, I'm not taking it. So hold on. So we fucking, so there's that. It's just messy. It's just messy. Thanks for the ride. You're one of the nine counties. Stay out of Jersey, will you? Don't look at the wheel well for a couple of months. So... for a couple of months. So that deer's blood was already on the car when I dug it.

Your headlights were missing, right? This thing didn't have a clack at a lot of them. But it don'ts though. Not crazy people like us, but adults know that one, as you're allowed to have somebody drive your car, a you know one or two time basis It's still covered. Anything happens God forbidding sure and stay cares. Take care of it. Yeah, of course But it's still like I'm not it dude. It's pouring rain. Oh, it's poor. It's a mon fucking soon. What it smells like in there I don't know car. Yeah, yeah fine. Good car was perfect very clean. He even did the pro thing of It was very nice. He even made a joke about it. We were like, hey, we set it up and then he's like, all right, I'm actually parked right out front on me, out front in five minutes. So we go down and he's got it already. He's

in it because it's raining. I get he would have he's revving the engine. I like what you see. And he just opened the door. We hopped in. It was like, I easy. And he's like, hey, the registration's right here in case you need it. it was like, I easy. And he's like, hey, the registration's right here. In case you need it. I was like, oh, I've never told anybody that when I've lumped on my car. Yeah. And no one's usually I have to give him a truck and you're like, hey, don't put it in bark or fucking, you know, she shakes at 45 when you're making a left hand turn.

Careful as a serial number on that gun. Yeah. Hey, those beer bottles aren't mine. Whatever you do, don't open the glove box. Yeah. So that's, I've never, I also, I don't think I never borrowed someone's car. It's, man.

Without instructions of like, be careful, this happens. If it starts beeping, it's okay. I get pulled to the right. Yeah, like something like that. He was just like, yeah, sure, I'm like, what the fuck? You've had a jam up of jam ups for the last, for the last little while, but that really takes the cake.

Yeah. But it's also like... It's like seeing Superman in his underwear. You're borrowing your neighbor's car. He's a friend. Uh... We're very tight. What do you call me by the way?

You live too far away. I would have drove it over there. And then what? I would have drove you down there. Yeah, then complained the next day the whole time. I fucking drive Kippy down to cheese mom now Yeah, cuz you won't do a favor not throw it in someone's face Well, we have done a nice lunch. No, I don't want to hang out with you and my mom the two fucking people who nagged me the most

You got me to wait down the car like a limo driver Bring me on a cup of coffee you to get me more headaches. I swear It's like hanging out with your wife and your girlfriend. I don't want to do that, you know what I mean? Sure. Do nots. Kepus, talk about trade coffee. Trade coffee. That old coffee in the break room just isn't hitting it for you anymore, is it gang?

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or by clicking the link in the show notes. your next cup of coffee's on a boys. There you go. Do it. We go, we bring it back and there's like a, I don't wanna say there was an issue, but there wasn't an issue. But I did, I was going pretty fast and I heard like a little, I was like, you hear that, what's that type thing?

And I didn't do anything, but it's like, is it on me? Is it not on me? What was the noise? I can't even, I couldn't's like, is it on me? Is it not on me? What was the noise? I can't even, I couldn't even like pinpoint it. It wasn't constant. It just like popped up at one point. It was mostly smoke, really. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And the RPMs are supposed to be in red, right? So not it was fine. I'm

And we so now we park it But like we got a Hey, you're with that. Yes, I was like no one parks on that. I mean, they're could bustling Did you leave it in there taking cars on that block on the on the block that we got taken from left Oh stealing oh dude or just taking all the tires you show up that it's all milk crates. No kidding. Dude, it's like fucking downtown Bay Root. Look at that, you got four milk crates, though.

Hey, good for you, pal. Uh, this is always a silver lining, I guess, huh? You're gonna use those. What the fuck's going on up there, bro? Wallace, man. Where's the Popeau? What's going on? I don't know, man.

I don't know. I don't work for the city. What do I know? The city's falling apart. Keep your baby in that garage. I'll pay that for sure. For sure. Because I'll be looking for that. Oh, yeah.

Look my spinning rims. I got on it. Couple of twenty. The fucking Lambo doors. I throw on this thing. He get into the hood. So now, but there's this that we park it in a So then so we got it we give him the keys back and he brought up like hey, man Here's 40 bucks for tolls and he's like that's too much. I'm not taking it I'm like why are it but because he's a nice guy. You know, I would do that

You know, I you know whatever whatever, but it's just like that him and then hauling of like I don't I'm like Dude, why would you pay for my tolls after you let me borrow your car I did return with a full-tag of guess that's how I was gonna ask it and that's like quarters. That's the Really well, this is what happened See you're gonna you're gonna get mad at me and say oh you just always like to do this you wouldn't do this I have a Line problem show no Yeah, but there's a certain way I would have handled the return of this. And I want to hear how you did it. You're already losing points. The 40 bucks

cash. And the three quarter tank again. What's the 40 bucks catch how awesome I supposed to pay them back? I'll tell you. You tell me how you hang. Wait, no, we'll go to the gas. How am I supposed to pay them back? The 40 bucks that's billed his easy pass. This is what you do. In that moment, you know, I'll take care of the, I'll take care of the other toes, not I don't worry about it. Thank dude, that's so cool of you.

Whatever, here's the key. The next day or that week, all right, you do a bottle of wine, you do something. You come back with a full tank, first of all, maybe getting it washed, but it was raining. I'll give you that. You've never done any of this. See, I didn't do this to me.

Well, I know how you operate. I know how you operate. You go back with a nice... Oh, but would he ever wash someone's car and give it back to him? Yeah, I would. I've done that before when I borrowed somebody's car. Cabe honest with you?

Yes. I'm having fun living in the fantasy. Let's see where the skill is. Sure. I'd be the nicest guy in the world and do everything. Bottle a wine. Your trash. A card with, with, with, with, with a, a $5 million in there.

Okay. A 401k that it catches out early. If you had said I would have dictated these things to be done to my girl and had her execute them. No, I would take care of that. Okay, I'll live in this fantasy with you. Okay, a bottle of wine and a gift certificate to a nice restaurant up there for a hundred bucks. Plus the tanks coming back.

That's a jug of color Rossi and a Burger King gift card. Yeah, okay, sure. That would be nice. Sure. He had a fucking problem with Burger King now Success I think why why didn't you give me a $15 target gift card? I wasn't invited But you're gonna get you're giving this guy 14 dinner. I showed up with a buy showed up with a bunch of stuff But you know now you see each got a couple of gift cards. She got she got The amount was we know them in sharpie. She got some row shades.

I'll like you. She's your opinion. I know she's your opinion. I'm telling you what I would do. Okay. And I'm telling you, as I know you quite well, I don't think, and we've, this is where Rebump heads of things you say, you shit on me for doing things and in theory, you would do the greatest thing in the world.

And I've never seen you do any of it. Is that a fair assessment? No, I do stuff like that all the time. I never show up to a place empty handed I always show up on a nice bottle of wine. That's not feeling a tank of gas washing a car give me a bottle of wine and a hundred Dollar gift cards a dinner. That's what I would do. Okay. All right. Joe, if anything just to look cool Sure the flex sure Um, so three quarters of a tank. Well, this is what I got it on eat property. He goes. It's on a but you can take it Jesus. Yeah, so I immediately filled it up. That's a faux pond his part

Well, what's I mean, it's pouring rain. We asked to borrow his car. That's not a fault Was it like a last minute thing? Yeah, it was like actually. Yeah, we will we'll we'll can we borrow the car How did that come up? How did how did he become aware of that? I think he offered What she was the bird was probably telling his wife? They're in a group chat with the way that she's in a group chat with them Yeah, yeah, I don't see his mom, but he doesn't have a car. He's a loser So coffee shop I think we can do a little bit of that Coffee shop, I think we can do a little bit of that. But you know, Apple got up top meal.

Hot meal. Fargman. Sign felt just so many. So yeah, no, it was last minute. It was very last minute. Cause I couldn't get a car. Cause I was like, now we'll just run a car. And then that couldn't get my hands on a car.

That's actually working out for you. Is it? This time with you up and he gives you cash as you're leaving puts it in my pocket. Good kid. Let me take her out to let me take her out for a nice. Take your mom out for a cup of coffee. Um, no, so it was very last many goes, yeah, it's on eight. You can take it, but it's on eight like proper on eight.

And I you can't fault the guy for fucking. No, no, no, no, no, I didn't know that was the case. Yeah, no, it wasn't like I am borrowing your car next Tuesday. I would have guessed it up though If you were borrowing mine of course you would have I would have got a watch No, you wouldn't have done it nice for you I keep the car pretty clean anyway Okay, sure I just offered Tommy to take the car what he was already gone

Tommy Gatsby okay, he was going down a fill. I see you could have should have took mine. Sure. I don't really want to give it. I know. Did you tell me? I mean, we live in this world. I'll let you. I'm the only honest one on the gosh darn show. Hey, and Toby, you have a core. You're a cheap skate. I'm not a cheap skate. So why'd you bring it back on three quarters?

Because we filled it up completely. I mean, I put like, I don't know what fucking was, what's it take to fill an SUV on a fucking Jersey turnpike? 60, fit 70. I think it was more than that. It was like 90. Okay. So I'm 90 in and then it was just under,

it was just over three quarters of a tank. So you got down there and back on the quarter tank of gas? Yeah. Pretty good. Yeah. Up and back. Sure. I guess it's got good highway.

I wasn't driving too fast. It's a proper hour. It's an hour and 10 or something like that. Yeah. You're fucking lucky. Yeah. It's not too far. It ain't too shabby.

But then the thing is we got a park it and we parked it in... Denise is charging for parking. Time's a tough down there. No, when we get back to the city uh... Denise is charging for parking. Time's a tough down there. No, when we get back to the city, we got to look for parking. Yeah. And now we're coming back. It's a Sunday. You're looking for parking.

It's a whole thing. And I felt kind of bad, but it was also like... I just left there running. It's on 98th Street on the east side. Are you familiar with O-Boken? Think DeFerry, it's night. He's my metric, guard, if you want. Boso. Why am I a Boso?

You just are. Why? It's now. You want me to go over to a list? You paint me in this thing and you paint yourself in another light which I'll give you for the sense of comedy. But I went and rubber hits the road. I know you.

All right. I'm very good with that stuff With why you sure yeah, I care that the right yeah, but you say that but you know that in situates that I don't care You're like I care Which which means I don't care when I get it enforce the 40 on I mean I did give him the 40 if I can idiot I said that you got the I overpaid the tolls the The tolls are probably $31. He got $9 out of me there. You get changed. He got nine, he got a 50 out of me on it. He got a five on you.

Can you break this? Hey buddy, can you break a five? Is there a coin store around here? I had a dick up there. I took it to change out of the cup holder. Ha ha ha ha. Here's a nice pair of gloves too. It's all, it's all pennies left in there. I took all the silver. I got you and I scraper from the back seat.

You go. Uh, I was tired. I was on a donut when he gave it to me. Um, and he gave it to me. I don't know what happened. His premium spade on this, right? No, so luckily we had to pay, so we put it in a Monday morning spot that had to be moved by months. So we park it Sunday afternoon. It's got to be moved Monday.

And this is probably different. But then you feel bad and I'm like me and my wife are like, should we move it? And we're like, hey, he had already taken the keys and we're like, hey, we'll move it for you. But luckily, he's like, no, I'm, he's like, it was in a Monday spot when I gave it to you. Oh, okay. He was gonna have to move it anyway.

Okay. But this does raise all those things of that I hate, that gay, like, you don't want anybody to feel unholy or that like, I don't like people thinking I'm like, that's why he got me going to go. I'm taking advantage. I'm taking advantage. what you got an advantage beyond Sure, I mean I gave him 75 dollars worth of gas and more money than the tolls were you feel this so you basically filled This tank up. Yeah, he gave it to me on it like proper gas light on I was like we crossed the bridge

I'm like fuck I have to get it fucking so we got a free tanky gas tanky gas out of it. No sweat off him wasn't using it that day So we got a free tanky gas out of it. No sweat off him wasn't using it that day NA 50 that's 98,000 fifty Make him money sitting on a couch. Did you eat or 97 bucks? I'll sit if some kippy parts I don't think I farted it did you eat in there? You're not gonna like this Spock I was I was keeping this fucking Joker up my sleeve spaghetti What you do while we were coming down route one there, and I had it stop to take a tanky I just on the way back or on the way there on the way there

Where you didn't you have plans to go to lunch or anything that with your mom sure? Okay, little appetizer. Oh, kill it. Hey Who got you, Tony looks. Tony looks. Yeah, Tony looks on Route 1 there. No. The golden arches. I had a stop to take a pee.

So the only thing, the gas stations in the middle of New Jersey, that's like connected to a Dunkin' Donuts looks like a fucking bomb of poop went off. It's not great, diarrhea grenade. They're fucking real bad, dude. And the guy looks at you. We were real weird on the way in and out. Like a Jersey cream donut. I think good.

So. What time of the day is this? New niche one is something like that. Perfect time. Perfect time for a Mickey D stop. But I was anti. I said, I don't wanna eat fast food in this car. You don't do that. No, you can't. But I was anti. I said, I don't want to eat fast food in this car. It's, you don't do that.

No, you can't. Uh, by the way, I'm fries, I mean a burger, you know what I mean? Hey, dickhead, give me a 20 piece. Poppin' those things like tic-tacs. Uh, we dig in a large order of fries. The bird wanted fries. I pushed against it. That's it, just fries.

Just fries. Really? Man, I could never do that. I pushed against it. That's it. Just fries. Really? Man, I would never do. I could never do that. I'm well aware. Maybe now on the O'Zempies you're good. I wouldn't do it. Sure. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, she was just more like I haven't had McDonald's fries in probably three years. I go, you know, what I don't, you know, it's how were they?

They were really good. Yeah. I got a good fresh. Uh huh. But can I ask you this? Just a little side note. Let's say you guys are driving. Maybe in your own car. Uh, if I ever get some, some acquaintance, or you steal a car, uh, you're driving in your car, you're going somewhere and you do stop, let's say you're stopping at fast food or you're stopping at something on the road.

Mm hmm. Like a sandwich and a sandwich and you know shit like that Does she shot done it for you? Like you're driving will she lick unwrapped? Yeah, but then give me half the sandwich. Yeah I don't know you feel like a dentist Mr. Slurpy, please yeah Spreader big Mac Yeah, dude. Yeah, spreader, Big Mac. Yeah.

Sandwich. I said sandwich. Give me my coke down please. Headed to me right. Yeah, so we, I was anti, but she pushed for it. I would dip in him in anything, she'd get some catchy. She did, catchy.

I'm not doing, I'm not dipping in someone else's car ball, driving in a rain, that rain heading up. Did you check thoroughly For any loose french fries because those McDonald's fries have a way of disappearing a couple of them like to wander off And I remember looking under my mom I was looking for a lighter and my mom see brink convertible back in ice when I was 16 I was looking under the seat man There must have been like three fucking small fries on it there.

You could have filled. It was just fries from the Wendy's. The crazy things they look at, they just came out of the fry. They hold. They really hold. The hardest time of the year. Still got flavor, though. Got glass with those fuckers. Let me ask you this. How many cars in America right now have at least one French fry in it?

98% you think so I would say six steaks you got to account for rental cars vegans that kind of thing and I stop you know French fries are vegan. Yeah, but I mean no one's just you know you go there for the burger and a chicken man You ever see like a parents card nowadays Yeah, yeah fucking Toyota Sienna with the two kid seats in the back sure Thanks, I was like old milk and gold transit ship Yeah, so McDonald's fries are vegan They contain natural beef flavoring and probably tal probably tallow or whatever, you know.

I hear that stuff's good for your face. The bird does it. She does. All over. Smells like I'm fucking making love to gravy. Wait. Hahaha. Turn your arms a little bit, huh?

Wait, that love Thanksgiving. Does it really smell like beef? Yeah, it's like beef gel. Ugh, they can't scent that. I don't know, the dog loves it. Hahaha. Oh, they can't send that I don't know dog loves it Man she puts that on again here got there's our nightly routine. He starts howling at the moon. She puts it on for she goes to bed Alright, now. I don't know. I don't know the exact face facial routine. She said she sees any improvement from it I think she claims she does yeah because I don't want to get to lose a lot. I don't want to

I think she claims she does yeah because I don't want to get to lose a lot. I don't want to I Don't want to get too gross, but one of the things but I'll be me Yeah, one of the things that I'm it's really starting to happen with me as Covered yourself in bacon grease. No, as I'm getting older I have like like not even moles like you saw that thing on my leg that like it's like little elephant skin I've had them all checked every I go to the dermatologist all the time, but skin tags and like these they're not mold. They're like, I don't know what the fuck they're called. Like just these little like weird things that it's really fucking gross man. I'm getting

like old person skin and a older gentleman and a young spy guy like me and Tiba. And I just went to the dermatologist to get this mold taken off. I showed him the things in my back. I have like, like crocodile scales in my back. And I'm like, there's got to be,

he's like, you can scrape them off, but it'd be real painful. And it's not really worth it. He's like, it's just, you're just getting older. And I'm like,

I don't want that. You got barnacles, dude. There's got to be, I'll show it. He's like, it's just, you're just getting older. And I'm like, yeah, I don't want that. You got barnacles, dude. There's gotta be, I'll show you. It's fucking old shit. Oh, I thought it was because I wasn't scrubbing good enough back there, but he's like, no, it's scrubbing's not going to take it away. There's no cream that can take it away.

Boom, dino, DNA. There's gotta be some type of diet or something that can clear your skin really good. And a lot of people have been talking about Tallow. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Some of the birds face products that I use are really good, but you got to really stay on top of that. Yeah. I don't like that smells like beef though. I mean, it's beef bite my arm. That smells like beef though.

I mean, it's beef. Bite my arm. Ah. Piece of bread, like a mop and a pull up a little bit. Oh, olive oil over here. Ha ha ha ha. Oh, parmesan cheese. But that's neither here nor there gang. We got a gosh darn family episode.

We got to get it. Yes, we do. Let's do some cues gang. As you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon, you can have a question and read on the air. Mm hmm. Nothing that's dicking around, baby. This one's from Mr. Neptune 2022.

Shout out to you. Whoa, little competition in the building. Is it garbage to have a one-year anniversary twice with the same person after being broken up for a while? I don't know if that's one you can celebrate, right? I don't get it. You date somebody for 18 months, you have your one-year anniversary, you break up for two years, you get back together, you have another one

year anniversary. Sure. I don't think that's seen. That doesn't feel right in my natural and as it as it runs through the process are real. Two one year anniversaries with the same guy or gal. Do you? I mean, I would just say anniversary. Yeah, but you know, there's an app. You guys know we got two different days. Sure. There's an asterisk on that. Oh, well, you're telling me they celebrate both of them? I don't know.

They've celebrated two one year anniversaries on two different days at some point in your life. That seems a little, that's got chilies written all over it. Which I don't mind, but not at all. Um, I think for that one, you just start at the next period. This is our second anniversary.

Our third, you get past the muddled phase there, right? Yeah. Never been a big anniversary guy. I forget a bunch. I shouldn't know. It's a scam, man. Mine's always right next to, and my wedding anniversary is right next to...

Wedding anniversary, yeah. But that's right next to... Thanks, or Thanksgiving. wedding anniversary is right next to wedding anniversary. Yeah. But that's right. Get that. Uh, thanks or thanks, giving, uh, get a beef dallow on a brain. That's right next to Valentine's day. There you go. So I just do. We just lumped that all in together. There you go.

I like Geico. I give her a give her three quarters of thank you guys called a day. Try to give it easy past money. She wouldn't day it. Um, all right. Let's see here. This one's from

I like Valentine's day. Just the candy wise. Homer, we've talked to you. You just like the candy. Love the candy. Yeah. Love a heart shaped dove chocolate. Those things are delicious. This one's from the furore of flat bread. Are you garbage? If your grandmother freezes milk, instead of going to the store to buy it each week, it's crazy. This has come up on the show before. Has it?

It's absolutely insane, but I know a lot of when I was growing up, a lot of people that had a bunch of kids that had all the time. It's a very grand mom 80s thing to do. Teabong, can you get a shelf life on frozen milk? So I'm doing a little investigative reporting now. It's fine. It's got to taste a little bit different. It's got, I mean, I, a nego waffle in there too long gets fucking some bite on.

Yeah, I recently had to look up, can you freeze cream cheese? And the answer is you can, but I don't know, let's go with this. It'll be a little sandy. Real scientist over there. Yeah, well, we're trying to get some quick popsicles or you though.

Trying to get some bagels and cream cheese over to Hawaii. Gotcha. Yeah, well, we're trying to get some popsicles or you though, trying to get some bagels and cream cheese over to Hawaii. Gotcha. Yeah. There's got to be a company that does that. Yeah, but they want to like the, you know, the real New York ones. Sure. Got a cartel submarine full of Philadelphia. All poppy seed bagels. Coast guard banging on the door. Six months, you can keep frozen milk for it. There you go. It's got to taste different. It It has to I would assume you would know I feel like if you made me a bottle a bowl of fucking cocoa pebbles with that and a bowl of cocoa pebbles with a regular fucking that weak milk I'll know I'll have to be able to tell there's nothing I just

You can't be chemically physically changing the form of something and then it It doesn't bounce back. Yeah Yeah, I would agree. But I respect it. The spaghetti sauce is okay. That comes out fine. Sometimes even better. Yes, but it's changed. Soup is better when you're friends. But it all changes.

It doesn't affect the taste, but it does affect the texture. Gross. Here we go. Of milk. Yes. Nope. You're not changing the field. You're, you're, listen, I love gross. Here we go. Of milk? Yes. Nope. You're not changing the field. You're, you're, you're, listen, I love milk. I love milk, but you're right there on the line

with the texture anyway. This is crazy. This is saying that the best way to freeze milk is to put it into an ice cube tray, then put that into the frozen cubes into a ziploc bag and then store it that way. Jesus Christ. Milk cubes.

Milk cubes. Imagine rolling over your body's house for a sleepover and you go to get breakfast or something in the morning and they bust out frozen milk. Hold on. I would call it. It's not going to work in a milkshake. I've already been thinking about it.

No. The way to get to coldest glass of milk, make milk cubes, get a glass of milk, and put the milk cubes in there. No, the way to get to coldest glass of milk, make milk cubes, get a glass of milk, and put the milk cubes in there. Oh, God, you got the big one. I think it's scotch. Got a shaving orange in there. Oh, nice. Oh, little citrus twist on it. Yeah, they know it'd be good. Oh, it's like a fucking cream sickle. Okay, I could see it. I could see it in a white Russian. I'll give you that. I'll give you that.

I'll give you that. That's fun. That's really taken to the next level. Yeah. Little non-dairy creamer in there. A milk cube. Man, I can't bet that's actually pretty smart. It's pretty good.

That'd be delicious. Between that and the chop cheese omelette, I'm really doing some stuff over here. You're doing all right. Shout out to the chop cheese omelette. I'm really doing some stuff over here. You're doing all right. I don't know the chop she's omelette. Kids working hard over there. Uh, I just went from Foxy Cleopatra. Is a garbage is sitting on the cob at your desk job?

Yeah, that's no fucking good. That's not a, that's a barbecue only time. Food. I have to disagree. I don't think it's that track. It's not like bringing a piece of fish in the office. And I'm sure that that was leftover from the barbecue that I before,

in the summer in an area where corn is very prevalent, which Pennsylvania it is. You're making a lot of assumptions. This could be in fucking Boston, Massachusetts for all, you know, you don't know. Get fresh corn, I don't know fresh corn I'm sure they have corn farms and Boston. You know, I'm saying this is because when I was home last We did corn in the cob and I didn't have any then but

The next day I just had two cold ears out of the fridge. Yeah, that's fine I'm not dude. It's was so good. I'm not saying it ain't good and you can't have it. Low fully grown corn. But at your work, at a desk job, that's the butter's getting all over the keyboard, the phone. You got the, jamming up the stapler. You got the two things. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Come on, you can't be known at something at work. That's a different, you, you be a gentleman, shave it off if you want, which is psychopath behavior to me to begin with. I think in those office gigs, once you get in there and you get settled, you're no one's really standing on airs. And I respect that.

You know, I don't know. There is a protocol. People obviously step over the line, but that's weird to me. I would never fuck it. I think fish and anything smelly is Where the line is? I mean, that's offensive

Corn fish. Oh, yes, that's what I'm saying You don't got to look at me why I'm eating my corn. They keep your fucking eyes in your cubicle No, I doubt he's walking or any office. He is doing is doing a plane Eating corn on the commoner plate. I would argue it's the same thing. You're around other strangers. You need. There's a courtesy. No, no, that's different. Are you soon? This person has their own cubicle. You know, you're assuming the best case scenario. What do they work at picnic tables? I don't know. A lot of cubicles you share with like four people like each have a corner. I mean, when I was in a there was three other people and if someone was eating a kid a fucking if somebody if there was a guy next to me

Corner in the cob. I would have for sure taken a picture of him and texted you when we would have made fun of them What if it was the summer and it was like after fourth of July? Eat that shit at home We have that for dinner when you get home or breakfast with your ice cube milk whatever you want to do Keep it the fuck out of the office. That's what I say. Ice Cube milk and corn. Sam would you. That's not a good way to start the day. That's farmer breakfast right there. Full of sleep on the drive of the work.

There's for sure someone listening to this who paused this to go put milk in the right skewer. Sure, not totally. If you have, hit us up. Let us know the results. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, it's not trash. It's nice. One of those things. It's weird to me. It just immediately rubs me the wrong way. Like kissing your cousin. Sure. You know what I mean? I could see someone doing that on a megabus

and not really batting an eye at home. Same thing. I mean, come on. Well, then now you're lower in the standard of, it's okay to do it on a, you're assuming people are gonna do it on a megabus so it is, has some sort of connotation to it. People eat their feet on a megabus.

Man, you ain't lying. I saw a guy take a shirt off one time. V-I-P. I was going to Boston. Man, said, buddy's just chilling, dude. Getting real comfy, won't he? The megabus days. Man. the mega bust days. Nikes.

Uh, I was always scared. Anything could pop off. The our mega bust days we took them a lot, took a lot of a lot of Atlantic city, a lot to Philly, a lot to any time with the boss in the handful of times I took them. They were your, the drivers weren't fucking nuts They're doing like 90 they're bobbing and weaving The people on them are fucking crazy. It's like people getting out of 10. They just murdered somebody They're fucking trying to fly under the radar

I drank a lot of wine at a gatorade bottles on mega. Yeah, it's a lot of it's a lot of pre Trunk Tobies. Yeah, it's sober Toby. It's not a guy you want to be there's a lot of it's a lot of pre a lot of drunk Tobis. Yeah. sober Toby. It's not a guy you want to be. Take your short off for a second. Let me see for people. Where you going from here to

yeah. All right. Let's see here. This one's from Cameron. First time long time. Shout out to you. Is a garbage use crackers for nachos if you don't have any tortilla chips. I don't have any tortilla chips?

I don't hate it because I'm a... He said they would use rits a lot. Okay. Which is a great cracker. Yes, the folies, it depends what we're talking about. The folies were always big on when my mom made chili. There was no shredded cheese. It was sour cream, you get a little dalp, of sour cream and a bunch as many crackers as you want

crowd the crispies the With the saltines and you could use ritz too, so I could see that Yeah, I had a couple of ritz not that long Fuckin blow your fucking hair back buttery. Yeah, they're great. They're great. That and like a screaming cold coke from a garage bridge. Didn't appreciate them when we were kids, really. I did.

I really got... Did that some peanut butter on it? For the plenow, dude, I really had a young age. I appreciated a saltine. What would be the townhouse? Tollhouse. Tollhouse. And the fucking...

The club. I like the club, it was all right. They were a little not my cup of tea Mm-hmm, and the fucking ritz. I loved I would just mulch a fucking sleeve of crackers mulch them spray cheese on air I Was about to say for the ritz nacho. I feel like the spray cheese would be the way to go Wait, we're gonna the trouble would be like the beans and the guac the spray cheese would be the way to go. That's not fair. Wait, to run into trouble would be like the beans and the guac. That's the modify.

He had alluded to this being a very high food. So it's like, I don't know if they're doing the beans and the guac. I'm assuming it's salsa, cheese, you know. Okay. Some hot sauce or something. Yeah, I could see it on crackers. My cousin used to... Hold on a minute, what are you doing?

She got me on it for a little bit when I was a kid was a Ritz cracker with cream cheese and a little ketchup. Okay, that's, I mean, in my, in my fat kid making food days, that was never, I wasn't getting any of that stuff out. If I did it now, I would use cocktail sauce. I remember for a long time making fucking, a bowl of fucking cheese whiz,

throw that in the microwave and then just have fucking those townhouse crackers or whatever, and just fucking, oh man, burn in my mouth, quickly chasing it with a cold coke, just fucking, stand and not even taking it into the fucking, into the TV, like, into the living to watch TV, stand in at the counter, just fucking, munching it.

You know, speaking to that, that's another thing, the ozempics is taking away. The bite cheese with the bite and sip. Really? Yeah. Somebody was calling me crazy in a comment or a tag or something, or like, isn't it nuts?

The Kevin is a bite and sip guy. Oh, the bite and sip all fucking day. It's the way to go. You're nuts if you're doing it any other way. Yeah. Soft pretzel. Oh, that's what it's all about. That's what America is, dude. Yeah.

So I have four fathers, fall for this country. So I could fucking, I'll be turned off by a meal if I have to have water with it. Oh, yeah, I'm just starting to get into that. And you see me when we go out somewhere, if I don't have, I need a fresh, dyke, coke, you start getting real nervous. I get real. Just ever coming back to the walls are closing in on me. You go through that first one, like a nine year old I have it time. So here's my thing. They dry Hey, we would go to a diner on the road or whatever. I get a I get a I get a die-coke drop. I fucking I do about 75% of that like a like a tank again. It's fucking cool hit that

Then I know they're coming back to either drop the food or check in or drop something. I go, can I get another diet coke? Right? Is it maybe they dropped the food? Hopefully comes right back, drops it. And I got my full meal and a full. So you have some bite and sip capability to start off. Start off.

And hopefully I get, you know, the, the, the air support comes in. Yeah. I got you. I don't like when they refill the glass. They never put the ice back in. Like, Hange, you're strong. You're like, what are we doing here? Fuckin' just give me a new glass.

Are you that jammed up back there? There's four people in this fucking restaurant. Where are you eating? Ha ha ha. I'm just speaking of a diner in my neighborhood. They give you the cans, kind of warm. I hate that. Which I don't mind the case,

you control your own destiny, you know what I mean? Barters do that a lot. They'll give you the first one is a fucking scream in cold glass from the fridge. And then the next one, it's like, it's got the, it's still got dish soap on it. Pills you. Couple of suds in there. Kills you. Uh, speaking of that, this is from Tom Rogers, $10 homie here.

I recently went to a bar back in my hometown, a keen new hamster. Shout out to you. Yep. Where I learned this place serves air-fried dinosaur chicken nuggies at the bar. That's wonderful. I love that. As you know, a big tender nuggy kind of guy. As a kid with all that stuff, the French fries that were in the oven, the chicken patties,

the chicken nuggets, chicken patty really fell all or just disappeared, I would say. That was a fun. The weaver chicken patties. Oh my God, that was chicken burgers. That was a staple in our house. Yeah, delicious. They don't make them that way. You don't really see them.

Mickey D's old school chicken sandwich. No, but I'm saying for consumers, not at a restaurant or a place. I'm sure you have, they're just not that popular, I don't know why. That's what I said, yeah, I mean they were fucking, a chicken patty was everywhere. The unbelievable. I haven't fucking, I ain't never been to the ones how they break out their CPs on me.

Unbelievable. But I used to always think to myself, man, if I just had a fryer, this would be so much better. I never thought of that once in my life, because we did have the fried daddy growing up, which I've said before, shout out to the know, you don't know to fry daddy. I do it's so dangerous Yeah, I did leave the lid on and it plugged in one time and then lid melted into the It's good flavor into the fucking Chris go

We also had one with a basket That's what I oh man was great. I remember I mean my brother tried to fry chicken one time We didn't batter it. I think we just threw in like frozen chicken. Man, it was all hands on deck for a couple of minutes there. Yeah, it was, I think we came home, I remember we were working overnight. If I can do in construction, working overnight

and we were like, we got home in the morning, fell asleep, woke up and we were like, had to be at work in like an hour. So we're like, what can we, there's. And we were like, we got home in the morning, fell asleep, woke up, and we were like, had to be at work in like an hour. So we're like, what can we, there's no food in the house, bombs working down the shore, whatever, like, you know, those summer days where there was sometimes there was nothing as like, the parents get older.

Ain't no food in the house. And we are like, trying to make something work. And I remember literally the place almost going up, fucking frozen food and a fucking I still love making something work. It's all right. It ain't bad, baby. Fucking frozen food and a fucking I still love making something work Ain't bad baby All right, let's see here. This is from Jake

Do you put your hand on the wall over the urinal when you're taking a leak? I do it at my house. I lean on the wall like this in my apartment. Yeah a public I ain't touching nothing in a public bathroom. I don't even wash my hands. No, I don't wash my hands either I don't touch anything in a public I'll hit the PRL in the way out if it's there If it's there even then I'll wait to the one that's like hopefully I see outside the bathroom Catch one in the you know more common area. You don't know what that soap is I Do love now a nice bathroom at a nice restaurant like a nice single bath That has a nice paper towel usually a candle in there. I a nice, single bathroom. That has a nice paper towel. Usually a candle in there.

I'll wash my hands out. That's a treat. That's the fanciest place I have ever been. Yeah. But a rest stop or something like that? A bar? I'm not doing it. And I don't like to, but at home, I do really fucking,

You do? I do rest up, yeah. Man. I think it's something I've recently started doing. I never remember doing it. I think it like it might head like you're like stretched so there's no like no there's no kinks in the hose. You know what I'm top it I think. Yeah, I don't I don't know if it I've gotten into a bad habit over the last few years of standing real far away. I can tell by the tinkies all over the bathroom. Yeah, toadies. I don't know why. You got to get up on it or start sitting down or something. I got those empties a couple more months. I'll be all right. Okay. Get up on it. Fallen

that thing. And we see Foley. All right, let's see. Let's do two more here and we got a riddle. This is a big one for fat guys and you know Skinny guys alike just from Jeffrey never have one red is garbage and make your own holes in a belt Which we were just recently talking about. I just had to do that. Yeah, because it's too tight or too All right, because it was it wasn't it was a tight enough. You're a skinny mini good for you. I had died Yeah as a fat guy I've gone up. Of course. Of course. And dude, it's always when it ain't that easy. No, it is very hard. And it's always the last thing you think of. I'm like getting ready to go to a wedding or something. And

it's like that nice dress belt that I haven't touched in fucking three years. Because a knife doesn't do it. No. Yeah. You need like, you need a twerk. You need to work. Wait, just something to come down quick. Screw driver in a hammer. Yeah, I get to it. Yeah, unlike a piece of wood. You never really gauge it right either. It's never and trying to find that thing when you can't see it. Holy shit. Yeah. Shout out to the leather workers of America because I didn't know it was that hard. You think you just ping-pong, poke it in, poke it out. No. But once you wear it a few times,

it really opens up on you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had to do it and it's always that panic. I have like, I'm like having my pants on, I'm like getting ready to go like a communion or something, like my fancy clothes or whatever. And just like, I have like a pocket knife or something just fucking trying to cut through.

And you know, it's fucking. I remember going to a wedding a few years ago, and I have, it's fucking mad at myself. Still ate though, didn't you, fatty? I know, dude, just being like, you fucking fat piece of shit, you're always waiting to the last minute.

Ooh, shrimp cocktail. And it's also I never knew how to buy a belt. So I would go like, oh, okay, this looks all right. They don't make no sense. I think it's your, I think I used to know because I used to when I worked at Macy's, they had to tell me, I think it's your waist plus two. To like your number. 38 waist. You go to a 40 or 42. Okay. It's good to know. Um, yep. Yeah, two inches greater. 32 pants, 34 belt. I, I went time went to a wedding and I hadn't worn the suit, it was an old suit, I hadn't worn it, and maybe like a year or two.

And I put weight on and didn't try it on or nothing like that. And it's hot, I have the shirt tucked in and I'm trying to close the pants and I just can't. I literally, like, I'm like starting to feel like I'm having a heart attack. And I can't get them fucking closed. So I had to had to keep that open zip to zipper up and tight tight belt And then talk to shirt and lay let the shirt hang out over it I've done that that is man talk about leaving the house with fucking anxiety no Stinger flopping out when you're doing the electric slide or something

That poor zipper dude like spider man in front of the train. He's doing the job of three things. He's doing the belt. He's got the button. Man. I'll keep in your fat ass intact. I know that. Also the panic. I hate suits. I would get ready to go to like you know of something that I'm not capable of going to. I'd go by fucking pancet TJ Maxx for 14.99. I'd eyeball them, they'd be huge, or whatever, or too tight, or trying to, I remember so many times trying to put pants on and be like, oh, this isn't that thing, you're like,

you're not getting there. And I'd be like, all right, I would take them off and see what else I had. I'm like, I could look through my brother, my dad, something like trying to find, trying to find a solution. Soot just became a believe. But a pair of shorts. That like summer.

I'd go back to that pair of pants be like, let me try again and like putting those things back on be like, dude, it ain't fucking happening. I have BTSD of that's why I hate shopping for clothes now. Hey, then I hate that. I was a bad pants sweating in a fight fittingto-fitting room with a not-button and you look like shit. My wife's like, why don't you like shopping? I'm like, because it fucking,

it just reminds me of a fat piece of shit. I've been a fat piece of shit my whole life. Fucking traumatized, that's why. Fucking in the husky section, and that don't even fit. Yeah. My mom's going, how fat are you? In a hot sear's on a Thursday night. You know how embarrassing it is,

the 34's don't fit? Oh. What the fuck, lady lady keep your voice down I'm trying to get laid out. I always brought an audience in tow. Yeah, she had like two three customer service reps there Toes she's fucking jammed up. Oh god damn all hem them. Oh, man I remember I got a pair of Lee pipes. I wanted Janko. She wouldn't give me Janko's I got a pair of Lee pipes and then she hemmed them Man, you can barely see the stitch You know what I'm talking about

Chuckie's pants It was uh it was wearing a dress. Booc-cut. Oh man, it was fair. Oh, we gotta wrap it up. Jesus. Oh man. Yeah.

Chuck E. Spanter's all right. Chuck E. Chuck E. Chuck E. Spanter's cousin. Gang, we love you. We love you to death. Patreon, thank you for the 10,000. We love you. We can't thank you enough. We love you. We love you to death. Patreon, thank you for the 10,000. We love you. We can't thank you enough. We love you.

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So get your tickets. Don't fucking snooze. We love to see you out there. We love seeing everybody. It's the best guys. Thank you so much. See you next week. doesn't make sense. You can't make it work with our schedule. So get your tickets. Don't

think in snooze. Love to see you out there. We love seeing everybody. It's the best guys. Thank you so much. See you next week. Peace.