Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Credit Card Fraud w/ Kippy & Foley!

Episode Date: January 30, 2025

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley talking about Credit Card Fraud, Piranha Attacks and answering your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Tour Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Lucy Goods: http://lucy.co/garbage Promo Code: Garbage Acorns: Head to https://acorns.com/GARBAGE or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future today! Factor: Get started at https://FACTORMEALS.com/garbage50off and use code garbage50off to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Attention, attention, Army of Garbage, the boys are back on the road for the Back on the Block 4, baby. Talking about stand-up comedy, plus we play RU Garbage live with the crowd. It's a great way to introduce people to the show, so grab the squad, come out and see us. Yeah, we're, this March, we're starting in Pontiac, Michigan, Indianapolis, Indiana, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Madison, Wisconsin, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Cleveland, Ohio, Atlantic City, New Jersey, and gang tickets are going quick. Get them while supplies last. The boys are coming to town.

See you out there. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley Hey Everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is our you garbage Hey, yeah, it's that little show

We sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good to be classy Yeah, just a big old piece of trash. So I'm your host takes fully coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with tooties in a new edition She's out in the driveway shooting some hoops, okay? No, you were expecting That's an H fully original back, baby Can't tell me nothing. She's not there with the sky hook the underhand all nine yards Okay, now he's not there too. Now you're but it's no game Balls as hard as a rock. Uh-huh. My ghost is coming at you from across the table

It's what we call a family episode just the boys the bozos and our homies like to circle the wagons a little bit He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman and unfortunately, my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ. He's not unfortunate for her because I don't think it's great for either one of us if we're being honest. I believe all parties involved. All parties involved, yes. We both got a raw deal in this one. Man, I got a raw deal from Jump. This guy stinks.

What's up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. And now, Spotify, baby. How about that? Ooh, wee.

Full video available on Spotify. Then obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. So I show you garbage. You go over there, you get all your bonus content. You get to ask your garbage question on the air shout out to the homies also go to www.rugarbage.com for the back on the block tour baby the boys are hitting the road starting in March April it's going to be a good time we got Pontiac Michigan

tickets for that I don't even know but I don't even know if they're gonna be available by the time this airs you got Pontiaciac, Michigan. You got Indianapolis, Indiana. You got Milwaukee. You got Madison, Wisconsin. Tickets are 75% gone. Tickets are moving. They're gonna move. And we appreciate it. And we love you.

And we love you. We got Minneapolis, Minnesota. We got Pittsburgh. We got Cleveland and we got Atlantic City. The boys are going down the shore to AC. That's the summer. That's in a summer time summer July July And we're playing in July and I'm on a heater too and we're planning more dates for for the fall as well

So get them take I love it get down to the tables down there. I'm off it now. I'm on a heater Since parks, baby, I can't lose sure what he too black baby. Look out. I'm off it. No, I'm on a heater. Ever since Parks, baby, I can't lose. 22 Black, baby, look out. I'm coming for you. I can see it. That night I could see it. I could see it. 7-22-43.

P.F. Chang's. Boom, boom, boom. We did have Asian that night, if I recall. We did. We went to a knockoff P.F. Chang's P.f. Wang's Pull your Peter out Sure, put pants on shout out to P.f. Chang's Okay

Okay, I've soured on them a little bit to be honest with you You find one pub in your chicken all this all of a sudden. we can't go there no more. You're too good Uh, I got a little present for you. You do I do have to you've been treating me fucking like an asshole It's also it was a rough morning and then that's the way it is when you're in business together You crack a little heads every once in a while you butt heads. You gotta break some eggs. We're in here doing shit We're not out there hobnobbing some of us are doing shit Doing a lot of put you in a room and make you work for 15 minutes today And then we started at me and Luke started having a fun conversation And he's go hey knock it off. Hey stop man if my breakfast hadn't gotten there in time. I don't know what I was gonna do

Now what do you got for me? Uh is money? No. Okay. It's better. Better than money? Uh-huh. In your economy. Food. Close. So I was over at... Food money. Money I can eat? You got me chocolate money? Do you remember the bubblegum wallet by any chance? What the fuck? Yeah. No. Oh, yeah. The dollar bill. They had dollar bills. It was like a wallet.

You open it up and like a bunch of, you know how like the pictures, whatever, it would fall down? Kind of? Yeah. They had a bunch of plastic sleeves with like, they were this big and the dollar bills were that were gum. Was the wallet made of gum too? I don't think so.

I don't remember that at all. Imagine like a checkbook and it went ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp I have a pen. I don't know, because you were doing work this morning. I think it was Wallet's bubble gum. That might be it. I don't know. I mean, I don't think I'm going to be able to find this. I remember my mom saying, no way. And then I went somewhere with my dad, and he was like, yeah, I don't care.

Man, I showed up to my mom counting bubble gum money. Like it was a tube. I had it like it was drug money. Like, how you doing, bruh? I found bubble gum money under your bed. Couple of cheezits for me and the boys, huh? I don't think it was a tootie. I had it like I was drug money. Like, how you doing, bruh? I found bubble gum money under your bitch. Couple of Cheez-Its for me and the boys, huh? I don't think I'm going to be able to. It was a wallet.

And they were like, you slid into a little plastic. They were about this big. It was like eating paper gum. Listen, you know I'm a product of the 80s. That shit was huge. Were you born in the 60s? Born in 1976, but I was a child of the 80s. OK. You're a product of the 70s, though. A product of the 70s? Born in 1976, but I was a child of the 80s. Okay.

You're a product of the 70s, though. A product of the 70s. Uh-huh. Huh. Mindset of the 50s, huh? Am I right? Nothing on that? A woman in the kitchen? I only got pot roast.

I like to eat on Sunday at the same time every week. Ah, we didn't really talk about that. You talk about that all the time. What? Eating on Sundays? No. We are from the generation is different enough where and we didn't really do this but my my aunt and uncle who were a little bit older, shout out to Emily Catherine and Uncle Red, they they ate supper. We might have talked about this lightly. Do you know what supper is? Dinner. Now, supper is at

like two o'clock. Okay. The big meal was at like two o'clock. Then you had a little something later on. A little sandwich. Something like that. I had lunch. I had a late lunch. I had a big lunch. No, it was called supper was I understand what you're calling it but if you eat it too that's fucking lunch in my book if it's like pot roast and fucking potatoes and stuff like that first of all who's eating that for lunch I mean you're gonna be that as a present I like that so as you know I was a was over in as over in Europe visiting the in-laws doing a little

international business that's right um you're falling down the steps from what I remember. Sure, that happened. Um, OK. I brought you a present. I don't see it on you. It's in my mind. That's right here. Oh, OK. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry about everything this morning. Is it fucking me while I'm sitting there knowingly about to blow your mind

and you're just being a fucking dickhead. You're gonna blow my mind? Uh-huh. I think so. I'm a nice guy. Is it candy? No. Because you wouldn't get me anything that I would want to eat these days. Because you say, I'm gonna die. Shhh. Unalive, I think is the term.

But it's food. Uh-uh. You said it was food. It's in that world gum candy no, I Just give me it. It's a beverage a beverage a German delicacy Orangina no, it's called We booze in it. No, we've loosely drugs about it. It's called Mezzo Mix. Okay. It's Fanta and Coca-Cola pre-mixed in a bottle.

Let's see. Whoa. And it's cold. Uh-huh. Mezzo Mix. I figured. So this is orange. From nine to, this is Fanta? They'll even make it if they don't have it. You go to a restaurant, you'd be like, let me get a fucking. So if you both get an orange Coke, I guess essentially Fanta, Fanta orange.

I believe so. Yeah. Mezzo mix. That's what I was seeing. Europeans, they do this. Take a look at this. The wall. You got to keep the cap attached to the bottle. Yeah. You just got to rip that off. USA. She. Thank you, my friend. I only want you get two sips. You get the first sip. You don't get the, you don't get the

crush, the cow's gonna get the diet. What? That's not the full thing. What kind of present is that? If I brought you diet coke, you would just start slugging it. Alright, don't chug it, you're gonna stop eating gluttonous. That's fucking fantastic. That's alright, it's called. That's **** Fanta. That's alright. It's got a little hint

to it. It's Fanta off rip. Then goes cola. Then then turns the corner back to Fanta a little bit. Can I tell you what it tastes like? Sure. Haribo. Gummy Colas. Okay. That's delicious. Alright, easy does it. I'm gonna wet the bed. I used to get that all the time. Like Fuller? What the bed? You are a wetter. Thank you. Can I drink this?

What? Can I have this? Sure. I mean, what are we gonna give it back to me? Man, that's all right. I brought you, I brought you sodas from far away land. How'd you get that over here? You're like a king in the 1300s wanting spices and stuff from a far away land. Oh yes, yes. What do you mean how'd I get it over here? I bought it at the goddamn airport.

At JFK? What? In Germany. I brought it, yeah, it's from Germany. Oh You bought it after security you put that in a carry-on for me. I did Wow Thanks, buddy with the bad back and everything with everything you still thought of me. Uh-huh. I love you. Yeah, do you yeah? Sometimes I love you to death. What are you talking like to death? That's right. Oh you kill me. That's what it's all about come on

These pants got no give yeah, why are you talking about? To death? You're my best friend. To death? Until you kill me. That's what it's all about. Come on. These pants got no give. Yeah, why are you wearing trousers? Cause it's cold. And them jeans are thin. That dude, that is a... Bad look. Bad look. That is the toughest of all of them. Who's seeing me? I come here and I go home. Put my gym shit on, I go down here and work. I'm not working on my pants.

Oh, you like to sneak that in. I put my Was that it was it with your athletic trousers to throw? What are they your cat your dockers put on my dockers in my brown belt? My New Balance shoes and I go walk on the treadmill either work out in a suit Thank you, that's very sweet of you. Yeah Love it. Where's my gift? I got something for you at the house. Yeah, what'd you get? I haven't got a gift from you in a long time. I got you fucking Christmas present you son of a bitch. That's normal That's an exchange. I haven't even opened it by the way. What? My Christmas present the Craig

That's a Craig, baby Which by the way, you just got me a gift you didn't get me anything in a you wear a lie You didn't bring back a souvenir nothing you were there dickhead See now you're lashing out at me. Yeah, you're either I'll get you a nice present. I don't know what to get you. You're a curmudgeon Am I gonna do it this doesn't matter what I a curmudgeon you got me a $12 fucking disc knockoff this man was Was that $12? I spent $500 on you Oh, that's real nice to throw it in somebody's face months later

I did I think I did it the day of too if I remember correctly I pulled out the receipt I love my GI Joe headquarters That's gotta go to you got that set up on the on the coffee table I told you not to do it what it's just for a day or two It's been fucking well over a month and every single person that's come in here has commented on no because you go Oh, no, no, cuz you they come in you go look at my GI Joe thing and all these people have to go Oh, whoa cool Seinfeld was just Do your kids come to work with you? That's what they said. Do you bring your kids to work work with you that's what they said do you bring your kids to work now that's for me that's me do you like my trousers I'm off jeans

not off jeans it's not get crazy I'm just waiting till the cold snaps over because it really the chafing and then to fucking the dry skin man it's cold okay I'm with it anyway thank you for the present for sure. I'll be waiting I'll be waiting on mine. Okay. We'll have to think of something good to get him No, what's oh now? It's my problem. You just pull that off on the Luke. We're kind of one entity against you That's what not against you think worry you every it's a battle every time with you folks. That's meso mix Yeah, we gotta get stuck in some fucking East German money. That'd be nice Mezzo man, yeah, they're trying to what the West German product

Cheers to the good guys Here's to the allies baby Made fresh every day at checkpoint Charlie Would checkpoint Charlie have been as popular for it, didn't that such a zippy name? If it was like Checkpoint Dan or something like that? Might have been one of the dumbest things I've ever said. Yeah, what are you, a Catskills comedian? What the hell? He's got soda on the brain. That's gonna make your teeth fall out.

That's double the sugar he's got. Is it? I mean, I don't know. Probably not. You know, the Germans keep it tight. But it's crazy, the Germans would have that like once a month. I'd be crushing this. This would be my drink.

You've got one next to the bed stand. Wake up in the middle of the night. That'd be it. A warm mezzy. Oh of night. Crash that be a warm Mezzi. Oh yeah, Mezzi and a Schnitzel. Shut up. Nice Schnitzel. Uh-huh. That's pretty good.

All right, let's get it. Enough messing around here. We got business to attend to. Gang, as you know, it's a family. Program here. Show. I know when you sign up for the old Patreon, we will answer your garbage question on the air. Uh the homies get the

first crack at it and we're working through them. This one's just funny and it's a shot at me which I respect. It's just from Garrett. My kid only wants to eat goldfish crackers. Does that mean he's destined to be bald? It ain't a good sign Valve. I'm being honest with you. It's a lot of red number four or whatever. Yeah, it's bad news. Did they got that in there? I don't know. Find out how dangerous good goals are. Who's on that hit list? That's something topical we could talk about. That they're getting rid of red 40 or something like that. Red number three or four. Yeah.

I think it's in like Kool-Aid lipstick. You know, that's how you look at me for it. In jail, that's the lipstick they use I know cool later on I know Smoochily and at certain clubs on the weekends Shout out to Christopher Luke I got an article why goldfish don't belong in the lunchbox whoa yeah all right well That's fucking that's East German propaganda if I've ever heard it written by Fidel Castro. Yeah, what the hell is that with that? Of course, they don't You know, I saw I turned out to be alright. I saw a full zone. Okay, let's talk about Lucy

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I saw a mutual friend of ours had posted maybe it was a story of their kids lunchbox very nutritious, a lot of fruits and vegetables. None of that, none of the bullshit. Uh-huh. Yeah. But I know most parents that I know that have kids, they don't give a fuck.

Like it hasn't translated over. It's bad. I think when people have kids, they are trying, we're only gonna do the organic and apples and fruits and berries. Then the kids start screaming. Then he goes to school and he meets me and berries. Then the kid starts screaming. Then he goes to school and he meets me and I'm the goldfish god. I'm out there dishing

it out, you know what I mean? I got hamburgers, whoppers, I got the fries that'll crush your eyes. I got the shakes that'll make you quake. I got the burgers, I just got burgers. Yeah, you can't fucking- Shut out the cheeseburger, Eddie. You can't fight that once they're out there in the world. I think it's weird. I had a kid start smoking cigarette obviously, obviously, I don't know nothing about parenting but I Every time I cross paths with a kid who was a little crunchy in that sense What do you mean like I can't eat at your house where your hat, you know, no methods Yeah, but it's just so you're just like that.

They get ostracized, unfortunately, a little bit. Parents are hippies or tree huggers or you know what I mean? They're not wearing shoes and shit. Yeah, I remember the first, my one buddy. All because like you couldn't have fruit by the foot. I'm like a loser. My one good buddy growing up, I remember seeing Amy's instead of like regular frozen stuff in his freezer.

Oh, that it was Amy's and this was like 92. My mom told me I couldn't go over there anymore. Sure. That's nuts to me. I might as well been tofu. That's nuts, dude. Amy's Amy's in the 90s or what? That was like you were out Woodstock. Get out of here, you dirty hippies.

Put some shoes on. You saw Amy's. That's a mom who don't shave her legs, and she's got weed now somewhere so boys Start flipping a mattress. I know It's fucking open here That was that and like a little petrulli smell or like a little oil smell when you walked in ah He was my one friend that was like very far in that direction. And man, these guys got weed in here.

Yeah, that's start flipping. Uh huh. Yeah, that's as yeah. I'm yeah, it's tough. Unfortunately, that that kid is like you, you know, talking about him fucking 40 years later. Crazy. Uh huh. And like this was pre whole foods I think it was called fresh fields was the was the Chain or how I don't know how many there were in our area I assume whole foods just bought up all those different kinds of places like that and just made them one but it was like

Yeah, it was like Organic oats instead of honey not Cheerios. Yeah Also, too. You'll probably remember this there was a there was a lemonade. There was a juice bottle Called Santa Cruz or something like that. It was like organic lemonade It was good as shit, but it was like 12 bucks going there and crush that yeah I had all that weed. Yeah, anytime the house has had that kind of stuff I was like buddy. Let's call and get his ah delivered. What are we doing? This is nuts First time I had swordfish

Yeah, what any yeah any Wednesday? Uh what was it? Yeah, it's the same time like there was a threshold of when those natural more natural products were that I think it was when you were a kid when you when as you were getting at the high school that was becoming way more Acceptable high school. Yeah, but if you would go over first time I ever seen a turkey burger Oh, what is like the garden or morning morning garden? Oh, those are the frozen veggie burgers dude those frozen those frozen burgers. I was like yeah, they're you were doing burgers Oh, you're you're doing you're doing salads. What are you talking about? You talking about those frozen veggie burgers yeah, the good mornings are still in the green box morning star farms morning star farms

Morning star I'll see you later Fuck I grab a sizzly Morning start, I'll see you later. Get the fuck out of here. You're gonna grab a sizzly. That, and dude, I remember my boy Flip, his parents had Kashi, and I was like, dude, what in the world is, get me some Frosted Flakes, dude. Kashi in a seventh grade sleepover? You wake up in the morning, they hit you with, and the boxes were so small, like, well, we all gonna, all gonna split a cup of this shit. There is no amount of sugar You gotta be high and shit to enjoy a bowl. I've never touched it. Oh my god

You ever have that of course? Rather eat the box then this stuff inside boxes a guy reading the newspaper God dude that stuff was brutal fuck that shit. I hate dude I hated boarding star farms. These are pretty good. I you can't tell the difference. Okay. No those are veggie patties Which they aren't they aren't they're not that bad in a pinch but I'm not sure. Okay. No, those are veggie patties which they aren't. They aren't. They're not that bad in a pinch but turkey burger started coming

around. That's when the movement really started. I never remember. I know. I don't remember when they hit. They might have not hit up for me up until I was up here. Turkey burgers. We took two steps forward and two steps back. We

went. We went turkey burgers. I think maybe early 90s 92 93 at the house Yeah, Patty she was doing turkey burgers. They're better for you. I can yeah, no, it also fuck up a hamburger, too Just burn it but then Bubba burgers it right back straight back to a boys straight back What though was it the Bubba burgers that were Philadelphia branded? I'm like, oh, straight back. Was it the Bubba burgers that were Philadelphia branded? I

remember the Deets and Watson hot dogs were, but I feel like the Bubba burgers used to be Philadelphia. Like the they worked with the Phillies. Yeah, I remember. I don't know if they were national or not. I feel they probably just did

that in every town. Every town. Yeah. I could be wrong, but that we've yeah, they had great boxes. Um you know, it's like Jim Fragosi on the box Harry Marlin I think that's I said that who signed that ball Jim for go see shot for Casey. Uh Alright, let's see here. This one's from kippies kissing cousin $10 trash man. Never had one read You've ever hook up what a girl on a medical device neck brace castling I just found out I got my wife pregnant while she was wearing a medical

boot from breaking her foot. New member of the Army of Garbage coming. Well, congratulations. Congrats. Hooking up with a girl on a medical device is for sure. Yeah, I broke it. Yeah, for sure. I definitely hooked up when I blew out my knee in college. and I was your knee When I was in my immobilizer uh-huh, but you weren't jammed up. I was jammed up Couldn't move poor girl get up not you hat you didn't shower that day you did a bed bath You got white paddy probably came in a wipe you down pregame Man your Gucci was probably a rape. What are you talking about? I was fucking in and wiped you down. Pre-game. Man, your gooch was probably a rape.

Dude, what are you talking about? I was fucking in shape back then. I was fucking eight, nineteen years old, 170 pounds. I think I was about 235. I might have been 315. Actually, was this March? It was football season. Sure. I remember he is in New York Me and uh was I went on a couple of dates. Maybe two dates Why is like a tinder lady or something like that chicken the helmet?

Ruth I believe her name was Here's a nice lady no cell phones around her TV start changing channels I don't got their family program all the spoons in the room fly to her she's making pens me was that phenomena I get that in powder mixed up. Who are you talking about? Phenomenon with Joe dumbass the girl. Why are you being such a fucking asshole? She had like something wrong with her. She was having like some sort of surgery on her legs or on her foot or some British girl. Hello. So, right? Um and I I think I went on like two dates with her before. She was like a mole like her leg was something I something and then she was just in the middle of something. Yeah and then one after. Yeah, it's just didn't didn't work

out. Huh? Whole Boston Tea party thing couldn't see eye to eye on. Really? No, I'm joking. Huh. What, you don't believe me? I just- She lived on the Upper East Side! Okay. She was a personal trainer. This was right when I lost the weight.

Really? Right when I lost the weight. Wow. Really tight, really feeling myself. Good head of hair. Ah, you got a cast? I'm outta here. I got a leather j- I can't do this. No, you got a cast? I'm outta here. I got a leather jacket. I can't do this.

No, just like, uh, I don't know, didn't whatever, didn't materialize. Yeah, she wouldn't fuck you. Will you get it? I think that's what happened. If I remember correctly. You got one-legged dumper. You're turning me down? You're damaged goods.

I'm gonna walk my way out of here. Can't even keep your Achilles tendon. How you gonna keep a man like me? Baby, I'm moving. I'm out of here. No, it wasn't. It's just me, you know, whatever. Didn't happen.

I mean, we've mentioned this, but it seems like every year in college There was some girl that had a broken foot. Yeah, I also love I mean that was also one of the first early Ayg things is like being in a but you know be walking around in a boot And then they started those peg leg things where your knees bent when people come out the shows with them and like we'll do the meet Oh, really? Yeah, they're like, oh look. I mean my you're you know, really zip around in those things Oh the little scoots. Yeah, no, do you ever see where the knees bent? And yes, like a peg leg got a wheel. No, some of them don't have wheels. It's just like a peg leg No, yeah Oh, yes, I have a pirate to the Caribbean pogo stick. Yes. Yeah

Man, what did you do to what kind of insurance you got? I don't get that. That's a tough one I don't want to get the blades. There's some people with the blades Yeah, can I shoot your wife in bionic? That's right. That guy did What a wild turn of events those things are sick. I don't get going in those things Those guys cooking them Move maybe that's what you need some blades some bullets some blades get you moving We can't be that far away from that Is that what you're hoping for no AI comes in some type of biomechanical suit?

Like some type of Iron Man type suit. I think we're very far from that think we gotta be far from it We don't have tesseract techno tesseract technology What just happened here? tesseract technology You don't know what that tesseract is no, and you will burn You'll never make it in the future You believe this guy? I'll be there with my old school blades all right. Like the thing in Edge of Tomorrow with Tom Cruise and Emily

Blunt. You think we're that far away from that? I mean 50 years I don't know man. 50? I don't know. You might get there. Huh? 50 years? That'd be pretty sweet. Modern advances technology? If I'm in like one of those mechanical suits. You're a bubble boy? Fucking everybody up. And they're fucking catching a heater in your fishbowl helmet? Uh, I got one for ya.

For your uh, your larger than, your larger, your, let's not go than, your larger, let's not go negative, your love of food knowledge. Okay. I've never thought about it this way. I've always thought about it one way and it was classy. This is Foley Ravioli $10 homie or? Great name.

Best offer, so great, that's a fantastic joke, OBO. Crab dip, classy or trashy? A very, very, very, very, very, very good question. I would lean classy, but then I the more I think about it, I think it's trashy. I don't know. Now we're talking about a crab dip with real blue crab, right? Yeah, lump crab meat. Lump crab meat with the chips, chips tortilla chips tortilla chips not tortilla chips

That's what they use don't they use like the Christine like that the the kind of like the sliced baguette that would be nice I've only ever had it with bread so many places you go to these days They hit you with that fucking artichoke spinach dip yeah, and they give you the tortilla chips They can't they break break. They suck. And you know what else can kick rocks to? The multicolored tortilla chips. I don't mind that. Get the fuck out of here with that garbage.

I don't mind it. Christmas, maybe. So we will do, we'll do crack more like Ritz crackers, I feel, with it, anytime we have it. Then you gotta have that little weird butterters the knife the spread knife mm-hmm that's what makes it clear but I mean if we're having it like it's always sitting next to like a buffalo chicken dip which that ain't you know I think I would go trashy maybe good time good shit it's a great time I don't want to man I've gotten it at a

restaurants like in like you know know, down in like Baltimore or whatever. Still never really hits right though. It does, it's a little bland, whatever, but it comes with like those two large, crostini type burnt pieces of toast that like propped up in it. That's alright, you lather that up. They never give you enough of that. Never enough. Never enough toast.

You gotta ask for more bread. Like a dickhead. Am I supposed to just just eat this yeah, we get self do it I got made fun of the other day for my nephew because we ordered hummus And we ran out of bread, and I just took a fucking fork full of hummus Is that crazy cuz he that was the craziest thing he's ever seen apparently is that nuts That's mad man. Really yeah, just Wow, okay, I respect it. This is hummus. Just a whack of hummus Hey, yeah, I was waiting for my I wait wait for my entree and my beer to come

How about a cucumber or a fucking piece of celery out every gentleman? Got an equal packet. Is it that crazy? Whoa, really? That blows my mind. I was like,, of course. You're taking your fucking teaspoon. Why'd you have a spoon anyway? Maybe that was forkful maybe. A fork? So there was the fork tracks in the hummus? We're out of bread. That's no man's land. That's crazy. That's uncharted territory. That's unclaimed land where I'm from. That's like eating ice cream with a fork. Yeah, whatever leave those tracks in there That's no good well. I'm not putting it back in the fucking thing nephew is making fun of you for this yeah 13 year old blew his mind

Never seen anything like brought it up two days later. I was like I don't know what the fucking owner chicks around Elite over here See the girl in the cat? Yeah all right well I mean I know it's not classy but is it crazy? No it's not crazy. Thank you. I mean what does it sound like poison on the water supply? Just crazy, joker crazy. Just cuz it's on a way it's on a vehicle to you know okay it's gotta have

Where do you draw the line buffalo chicken dip for full of buffalo chicken dip protein in there? Hmm. There's no protein and chickpeas chorus, but what are we fucking talking about here? It's just You would do it. You don't like that. It's smooth I would do it at home really if I didn't have any if I didn't have anything to dip into it and I want a little wet my whistle a little bit. Little num nums. Trying to go back to this where this line is. Crab dip you would do. Crab dip I would do I would take a I would take a I would eat it like soup. Artichoke spinach spinach artichoke spinach you would do

you take a whack at that. I would do it. I would do it.. I'm not asking you. You know you didn't go to you know the reform school or whatever you do I'm asking an animal here a What's the what's the the cheese dip with the chopped up stuff in it with the sausage? The fucking you know would that do you dip chips in queso? The fucking, you know, you dip chips in. Queso. Queso, that's more liquid. But if it has the crumpled sausage in it, I would do that. That's crazier than hummus.

You're trying to catch liquid in cheese. Anything that, I would use a spoon, not a fork. I was thinking spoon. But mine I can use a spoon or a fork, it doesn't matter because it's kind of a solid. You know, psychologically it's just strange or a fork, it doesn't matter, because it's kind of a solid. You know, psychologically, it's just strange. I get that it's weird. But if you would eat it. Did anybody else do it?

My brother-in-law did, I think, making fun of me. Were you guys waiting for that? No, beers and our main. Had you? So I'm not just like, hey, can I get a plate of hummus and just start monging. No, no. But had you asked the server, hey, can we get a plate of hummus and just start munging no no But did you had you asked the server hey?

Can we get some more pita or bread for the hummus? And you don't think I had no no it was done was done Thank you, that's a big indicator No one's we're sitting there. No one's make you know how I am when I think it's done. No one's making a move on it We're talking we're laughing. I'm a fat guy. I'm sitting there. There's Who don't like hummus? Okay, all right, I rest my case not bad not bad right in right in let us know There's no way the listeners aren't crushing a dab of hummy

There's a better comparison. I just can't think of it. Peanut butter? You take a whack of peanut butter? What the fuck? Yeah. Not with a fork. Use a butter knife or a fucking spoon. I don't have all that. Yeah, you don't have your house. Okay. You're telling me you're having company come over. I just conceded. I said yes. I'm just saying you're at home and you're like, oh, I'm going to take the hummus out of the container, put it in a bowl. Like, you're going to you're going to present it a little bit. You're not going to take that last little scoop of hummy right on the right out right out of the spoon onto

the tongue there. Yeah, I might do that in closed quarters behind the scenes. I'm with my family. All right. All right. I staying correct. I don't love hummus that much or I don't need to. I need a little buffer, a little pita, a little carrot, a little cucumber. I said, I know what I did and I know everybody out

there would do the same god damn thing given the opportunity but I'll be the martyr for this. So, multiple people at the table were like, yo, what are you doing? I guess. Was the bird with you? Yeah. What did she say?

She's all right with that. She likes that kind of stuff. She does, yeah. If that was fucking chocolate mousse or something like that, she might push back on it. Or if it was buffalo chicken dip. The fact that it was hummus, she likes it. It's a classy food.

I mean a classy food. Yeah. All right, we got to move food. I mean a classy food. Yeah. All right, we got to move on. But I ain't, listen, I might not be right, but I'm not wrong. OK, I'm going to take that to the grave. OK, let's talk about factor. Factor, factor, factor. Let's talk about getting it tight, getting it lean,

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game time tastes like Miller time. Learn more at MillerLite.ca. Must be legal drinking age. All right, this one's from Rare Pimp Fat Featherless. I just want some rare pimp fat featherless. I don't know what the hell that means. Ever tip your delivery guy with pizza. That's a tough look. What? Like here, take a slice. I think a buddy young.

Just me in here. I only need four. I thought the fuck that's wild. That's but listen, as somebody who used to door-dash You're hungy that that delivery guy is probably not loaded. They make solid tips. He probably ain't loaded He's sitting in that car might be 15 minutes in a fresh melon pie a fresh Zodges dude just hot box in his Corolla, but all things being equal pie, if that pie is getting there at a decent time, there's no way that you can just flip open the lid and pull out a clean slice and give it to them.

You don't know. That whole cheese is coming with it. Not necessarily. Not necessarily. If they know what they're doing, they're delivering the pies at somewhat on time. You gotta go in and get them a plate. That's, you might as well just come in and sit down. Come in and sit down and have sex with my wife. She's got a cast on. You want to come in and have a slice? You'll go out, take it for the road. We did that with our driver when we were down the shore. We came back from Sam's and we gave our Uber driver pizza. We did? Yeah. I think O'Conny did. Oh, that was Tommy Pote. You've gotten the pizza. That was that

you offered the Uber driver a slice of pizza. That's different than tipping the **** guy delivering. I'm not saying it's the same thing, but you can pull a slice apart Let's not act like we don't have the technology to pull a slice out of a fresh Zahir. It's a garbage move I fucking love it. Hey, what's Dude that probably made you know I mean it sucks that you're not tipping them cash You give them a Finsky and a slice out the door for sure Maybe a mezzo mix if you got it in stock It's fantastic coke. Yeah, I would like it but I hate hate hate hate eating pizza without a

Fucking sody to bite and say I'm oh, you might as well be eating a whole loaf of bread gets all stuck up in here I need something to grease the chute bad news Especially when you fucking close it trying to get that cross down look do the clothes cross without a soda to Be drinking woodchip whipper fluid Thing any freeze in the back try to get that down That's great. That's all right, man Whoo. Oh, that's great. That's all right, man.

All right, this one's from Cousin Vinny. $10 stew going. You've ever been told from your dad that they're coming to tow the car tonight? Make sure you get anything you want out of there. The preemptive repo? He says, man, we were cooking with money for a few years until it went far south. Wouldn't change it for the world. Oh, man.

You got any textbooks in the backseat? My way to get that. Get your golf clubs out because they're golf club. What? Some little kid would have said, I mean, he said a stick. He might have been 12. You don't know. Oh, man. That's also like a new money thing. Get the kid a set of golf clubs. I go out, I'll take you out. This had to be construction or something. They might be coming tonight.

Get your shit out of there. That's very reminiscent of, we had a couple years stretcher, it was nice, and then it was, playing with, we were playing with house money. Yeah. That's a great question. That's all right, man.

Also, good luck from the dad to be like, listen, I fumbled. The boys are coming to get the Escalade. Get your gear, get out. Put the dog in the basement too, by the way. I'm not all paid up on it. Let's square out what I'm on Monday That's very much of a dad when the house phone right not here not here That's pretty good, dude

All right. This one's just nuts. This was what this one's from brie nut butter and jelly Not a question, but an electronic hack You pay $50 a year to be a preferred Best Buy member. Okay. That gets you 60 days return on any product, no questions asked. Okay. You can go buy a TV.

Right. Use it for 60 days, then return it, grab another TV over and over and over again. Pro tip, you use a credit card and collect the points on every purchase. Okay. Then you just have to get a new TV every 60 days. And you're still paying for this. They're still out. Let's say a TV costs $500. Yes. You go, you pay $500. Right. Get it for 60 days, you can return it. You get the $500 back. Get the $500 back, you buy a new TV. $700 TV. Or whatever, even even five You don't even have to upgrade. There's a new $500 TV. Uh-huh. You're still out $500 But I guess the idea is you're just continuously rack up

$500 points every 60 days I would pay not to have to fucking return something like that Do that you got to keep that box? Yeah, keep that box. Yeah, keep that box. You gotta, well, returning no questions asked, but yeah, box. Every two months. You gotta, imagine if you missed it or whatever. Every six months I could be on board, but I like the hustle. I respect it, but counting the points, goddamn dude. There's got to be an easier way to make. Returning a 60-inch flat screen every 60 days? That's a lot of humping.

I'm trying to get that foam to slide back in. It's making my blood run cold. The squeaking of the foam on the cardboard. No, thank you. That's tough, dude. Yeah, I mean, there's got to be an easier way to make the points because you're paying, you're always out $500, but it's just constantly running So who gives a fuck it's just constantly going in and going back and going in and going back and going in and going back

That's why I look at credit cards too, which I know is the wrong way to look at it Let me be a but hit me with I don't know what you're talking about That it's it's just always going up and down. It's called a revolving credit. So what's the difference? You have that money until you make the last payment. You're ahead of the game. No, that's what they want you to think. If you never if you pay it off and never use the card again, that's how they get you.

Wait, hold on. Don't you get it? No. Okay. So let's say you're leaving, hold on. Don't you get it? No. Okay, so let's say you're leaving an open balance. Let's okay. Let's say I have an American Express card. Okay, I can live in that world. Let's say there's ten grand on there. I have a ten thousand dollar

available credit. Okay, let's say I'm at that ten grand. Okay. Okay, I pay that off. I immediately have ten ten more grand. Sure. So the only time that you lose on the deal is if you pay it one last time and then don't use it. That's when the buck stops. But are you paying it in full? Let me ask this, and be honest,

because I know how you operate. This is hypothetical. Are you paying in full? I'm paying what the bill is that month, whatever the chunk is. Sure. Is it my paying it back to zero? The current balance.

You're paying your current balance. Current balance. You throwing any mini payments there? Any minimums? Minimum payment, no. No, no, no minimums. No minimums. Anything ever less than the current statement

Let your total balance your current balance. Yeah, no no no no I'm paying the current balance Okay, they don't they don't let you do that they hit you what amex will hit you with that of course That's what I thought you were saying Russia So how do you think they're getting you if you never use it again because then you've had to pay back the ten grand What you've had to pay back what you don't get to use the ten grand that's in there anymore. If you pay it back and never use it again, then you lost ten grand. No, you didn't. Yes, you did. Because if you use it again, they're not giving you

$10,000. They're loaning you $10,000. You have to pay back. Right. Which now I have another ten grand once I pay I know but it's that ten grand is sitting there if you ever wanted to use it you can use it What ten grand the ten grand I have in cash or the ten grand on the credit card? Huh So you're missing what I'm saying a hundred percent as long as you keep using the card once you pay it off It's it's all the same whether it's in a checking account or whether it's in a credit card.

That's your money. Yeah, no, all right, all right, okay. Yeah, that's all I'm saying. Yeah, so- It's just running. Yeah, okay, hold on. So you're counting that $10,000 credit limit as your money, right? Yes.

Okay, no, that's fine, but to explain it this way- Until the day I stop using it, it's mine. I know, but then that $10,000 is still hypothetically sitting there. If you're counting it as yours when you're using it, when you're not using it, you still have it available $10,000. If I needed it, yeah. Yeah, so what you're just deciding to count it one time and not another time. No, I'm saying like if I got rid of the credit card, I should have prefaced that.

Like if I... No one's ever done that. You just keep the card and it sits there. And honestly, the lower balance helps you more because your credit score goes up. My credit score goes up and down like every month. It's because you're running your credit card balance is so high. That happens every single month. Your increased credit uses has happened, and it lowers your credit score.

But then once you pay it off it goes back up again. So none of it really matters. None of it makes sense. Imagine if it never went down those five points and stayed there. Yeah. And then it would continue to go up rather than go down. Would it or would it just sit there because I'm not making any moves? No, it would hypothetically go up if you're staying financially whole

hmm In what world are you somebody opening a credit card using it once and then canceling it, you know I don't know if I love this to be honest Well, I just got you $10,000 worth of it. Oh Man, I put my brain in a pretzel. You don't get what I'm saying. I Guess if you canceled the card sure As long as you don't cancel that card you still in there. Yeah, I don't know in the game. I don't know it sure Plus you got I don't know but you are you walk such a tightrope when it comes to that that It's not worth the stress and the headache and it's just not worth it. You should just spend cash

You know what I mean? On what whatever you're putting on the car? Or put on the car keeping on auto payment and just let it clean out you don't do that either fuck that I don't try I mean you're this guy's playing auto pay for a credit card. I don't know what they're gonna take This guy's playing auto pay for a credit card. I don't know what they're gonna take And then I gotta have enough of that in the in the in the checking account to cover that well That's another thing you don't I don't understand what you do with your money. I don't like to leave a lot of stuff in the checking account That's the short pocket I like the deep pocket Yeah, but then you're jumping but that's how you get jammed up and miss stuff cuz you're you're spinning too many plates I haven't missed anything

I'm chillin I don't know you're the time you're talking about some sort of credit card scam no one can wrap their head around it's not a scam it's not not a scam that's a free 10,000 anytime you talk about a credit card go that's a free $10,000 it ain't on the up and out no I don't want that I don't want that out there look how scared you get what AMX is gonna come get you? No, I'm saying if you pay your credit card bill, you then have access to that money immediately. So it's a revolving door. 100? No one's arguing about that. Yeah, that's all I'm saying. It's pretty cool. This has been the finance hour with two idiots and a con man.

And a criminal. That's not true. Ah man, look how weird. No don't say that. Don't say that. I'm a psychopath, don't say that. Like Amex is gonna come and get you for your two grand. Ain't got bigger fucking fish to fry than your two grand.

Oh my god, don't tell nobody, but when I paid them, they let me, they give me another two-tashe-in-dollars, suckers. I found a glitch in the system. I'm in the Matrix. Idiots. There's back doors and all this. These guys are idiots. I give them the money, they loan me more money at 28%. These guys are idiots.

How'd they hit me with annual fees. These guys are so stupid. It's happened. They're giving me miles. Flying all over the world. Oh, man. Crab dip, classic. Hummus, delicious.

Eat it with a fork. Uh, as a bigger man, you might weigh in on this one. This one's from LFA. A lot of bigger man stuff being mentioned here I Don't appreciate that It was twice. It was about crab dip and this one's about pants. Okay. I think these are two places Those are those are two worlds where he I didn't ask you nothing about a credit card And then you went off on it. He went off in a rabbit hole about that

What can I do for you about pants? Went off in a rabbit hole about that What can I do for you about pants? Ten this is from LFA $10 taxpayer never had one read is it garbage to put your belt on your pants before you put the pants on Follow-up is it garbage to keep the belt on the pants when you take them off so they're ready for the next wear always Do that's a give me I'm like a fireman. Are you kidding me? I jump right into those babies. I got my shoes connected to the bottom Throwing your pants on with that belt. They really shake down. Oh, that's a good feeling

Yeah, the belt always stays. Belt stays on. I'm a yeah That's it's wild unless you're washing it, which is once in a blue moon The belts on there. I haven't washed these jeans in such a long, it's crazy. If like the number would make most people disgusted. That makes a loud noise though, man. That belt buckles, really. That's if I'm trying to sneak in or out of bed

with my wife. Usually in, if I'm coming in from like a late night of spots or something, man. That belt hits the floor. That'll fucking all the tiptoeing all the all the closing the hit Turning the handle door then closing the door then then latching it all keeping Hans Coming into the Tower of London That or sometimes when you do do it and my phone will be in my back pocket and now oh Man the neighbors wake up. They're hitting upstairs with a brew. It's a band

Yeah, that belt will jam me up mm-hmm, but putting the belt on before the pants I would assume that would have I'm sorry I assume that would have to be a bigger guy hack Right I mean I could do it pretty easily and I'm pretty huge I'll say that me mixing open double soda as though means diabetes in German I would assume I mean I don't get why any why that would benefit I would in my head I had to be a bigger guy like I might be tough to get. I can say this as a bigger gentleman Especially with the way they got loops these days. There's too many loops

There should be like four loops, but they're all over the place You might miss one as a big guy when you got the pants on. Did you ever go? It's had to be big in the night, did you ever go under the label? There was some that you could go under the label to show off the label. Talk about getting laid. I had a pair of badge jeans that I did. Woooo man! Get eyes on badge jeans.

I think they were TJ Maxx knockoffs for sure. B-A-D-G-E. Badge jeans when you want to stop the fun Your kid keep shitting his pants Get him a pair of badge jeans Anything on badge I do, I love these jeans They fell

They fit perfectly Skating was in, they were the perfect baggy You went under the I was farting in them johns Heavy bite You went under the label? Went the label shot a shot the badger He did that it was black and badge was written like it was in prom and cool beans Luke Yeah, I got a pair of relaxed fit

Where are they selling them eBay? 25 bucks You were all relaxed fit. Oh buddy. I was a husky boy I'm here for sleep. I'm so relaxed Put me in a coma daddy put a pair of jeans on me Loosen me up a little uh-huh That's all right. So yeah, that'd be your only reason I could see you doing it That makes sense and plus two

When you're if you're in a dressy situation where you have to tuck your shirt in, going in and putting the pants on, tucking the shirt in, and then putting the belt on after, you're going to get some untuckage. You got to go back and redo. Sure, belt's got to be in. So if you have the belt in, it's just one fell swoop, you're all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you put the tie a little too long, leave the jacket open. You do your thing. Pray to God they got some grab dip there. Maybe a little bit of a helmet. This one's funny. This is from Senor Besora. $10 dipshit, never had one red. This guy thinks a lot of himself.

Is it garbage to think the t-shirt that said oh No, five. Oh was referring wasn't referring to the police, but about my friend turning 50 That's pretty not knowing the tip. Oh, no five up. So some what kind of guys wearing an oh no five. Oh sure That's crazy that dude's still selling dime bags guys got bad blows sure sure can't ban the snowman Shout out the jeezy Damn that's good. I just want some Tyler five dollar homie My dad had piranhas when we were younger red flag and when he wanted to get single dad right there And we got trying to bang younger chicks and when he wanted to get rid of them, we just cooked them up what that's

crazy Fish tank fucking fish that can't be healthy though. Also. Are you allowed to eat? I'm not allowed or is it dangerous to eat piranhas not gonna bite you I just mean like some meat you shouldn't Illegal in many parts of the United States. That ain't a good look illegal to have To eat member the law the lore of piranhas. I don't think it's a lore No I mean they don't like they're not gonna pick your the skin off your bones in two minutes if you don't think they do It's not that severe. I've seen video. I've seen video where they're going hey go ham

But like the theory was like if you dipped your toe and you were bringing out a stub within two seconds Yeah, like they were you pull up of you know next thing you know you're in a Wheelchair Trying to think of another medical device Piranha scared the shit out of me as a kid. It was a quicksand. Yeah Piranha scared the shit out of me as a kid. It was a quicksand. Yeah But yeah, no, that's I mean to have a house piranha I get a bait of fish back in the day your hold on that means you're feeding it regular fish food from this That's fucking no. They're probably like goldfish or so

We got a group of 300 to 500 piranhas could eat an adult human in five minutes if they were starving Whoa, so I think about 45. Yeah, man, they got to be real hungry. Holy shit. How many are in a typical pack? Like, are you running into 500 or you're running into 50? 500, a lot of fish. I don't think so. Not in the Amazon.

They're all swimming around together. Yes, kid Fuck that five minutes that would be an Screaming piranhas can live in live up to packs of a thousand two and a half minutes out the door Clued my little wee-wee now safe on 30 seconds That lady was delicious big set of balls on her it's got a weird aftertaste it does there's no chemis in there that's all natural so to pop so you need a little yellow five in there I just. All right.

This one's from Chicken Nun Nums. Is it garbage to eat frozen chicken nuggets? Yes. What the fuck? I used to eat them as a kid. They hit different frozen. Now my son eats them frozen and people give me dirty looks. Yeah, that's nuts, dude.

Nothing frozen dessert. Although my cousins did confess to me, my two younger cousins who my dad used to take to school when they were young That they would like a frozen waffle every once in a while I don't get it I wouldn't mind crushing a frozen waffle in the morning for breakfast. Yeah, I just don't get that at all Where's the fun in the crunch in the it's so much. It is not even close to how much better both of those foods are heated. I agree. It's not even close. Chicken, not a waffle takes what?

I mean, throw it in a microwave for 10 seconds. It's better. Throw it in a throw it in a toaster oven or the toaster for what? 70 seconds. Crispy crispy half a piranha as I mean as a fat ass I could see it when you're hungry Stan 15 we're talking 15 seconds. I'm just saying I could see it, but yeah, that's that's yeah I don't understand I could see if it was like hey you gotta put it You got to preheat the oven with the chicken nuggets a little bit, but you can get them warm. You can get a warm I don't mind an uncrustable frozen. That's that's what that is. That's a dessert. That's a sweet dessert.

Chicken nuggy? Crazy. Man, that would make yours. You wouldn't like that at all. No, that's blasphemy where I come from. That and a lot of people we've talked to like have written in or either on the road as well do the uncult ramen which I don't get at all either. That's crazy. That just seems like it wouldult ramen which I don't get at all either that just seems like it would hurt like I don't understand where the pleasure comes from that's crazy crazy dog it's crazy this one's for Mary you ever crawl on your knees indoors because you're too lazy to take your shoes off and you don't want to dirty up the floors I caught myself doing it in my own home my god that's I

did it this morning my you I you did you crawl? No, I had to undo my shoes and go into I forgot my keys or something I already I hadn't know I was downstairs walking the door. So they're all wet all salty Oh, and I was like I gotta undo this sucked but never crawling. That's crazy. I'm pretty loose when it comes to that. I'll bend the rules on my shoes are on and I didn't close the window. I'm walking to wherever I got to go. I take heat for it.

I get yelled at. I mean, I take heat for it. You're on the couch feet up. Why my shows on? Yeah, I got I mean, that's I mean you're living a life here you're crawling in your own home so what you don't get mad at yourself I don't understand it. Is there any evidence has there been any evidence that that got somebody sick? That the dirt on the floor or whatever. I'm sure with children Yeah, kids are crawling putting their hands in whatever. Maybe she has kids

That makes sense to me. I mean like say you're right. I thought that was good for you as a kid though Yeah, I mean like you say you step in dog shit, and then the kid puts his hand in it And then he's got worms or whatever you know Now I got I would assume I don't know maybe she's got kids I also just think like mentally it's disgusting like if you really think about it How much fucking urine and semen I walk in yeah, I don't have that mental thing I'm saying if you really I don't either represent like if you start thinking about it. You're like You go crazy sure how much germs are all over everything

At every second. I that's why it's painful to be friends with the big guy I got boogies all over me. Yeah the booger man Can't say winter my nose is running camp in a booger man. That's why I don't like touching stuff that you touch it's well documented you're a nice good friend of mine. Garoti. Charles Garoti. You just you're taking a sip of this. I wouldn't I wouldn't I don't I don't know if you've noticed I don't touch most stuff that you touch. Yeah, it hurts. You got

boogers all the time, dude. It's boogers. I see you. I don't call you out. I see you do that that you look at it and you go like that Sometimes you just play with it and then you're like, alright, see you later. And I'm like dude, you're boogafied I can't do it. I can't I've just seen I've seen I was thinking borders on your hand I was thinking more snots. It's you know, it's a snotty season. You know for you, which is bad Yeah, I every did you everybody's nose is running now. Yeah, but you don't wash your hands. You're a lazier gent You don't like getting up to wash your hands. We have to yell at you to get up and wash your hands skins real dry Yeah, that's not it. Just saying

Skins are real dry now you're lazy. Yeah God biz oh Oh God, Bizzou. Uh, let's see here. Uh, this one's from Long-Term Bozo. Are you garbage if you went to the locker room on the last day of school to get shoes that kids left in their locker? My parents could afford new shoes for me, but a free sneaker is a free sneaker. I mean

That's crazy Every once in a while. There was a good find in there. I don't know cuz I feel like at least I feel like everybody would wear They're like already shitty or shoot. Nobody was a bringing like a new pair of Reeboks But you think that but then I look at and I see like YouTube pages or whatever where guys make a living Selling and dealing in the luggage that people leave at airports. It's Fucking what happened to these people? What do you mean the one it was like it was like it was it was a Checked bag that had like a Louis Vuitton bag in it, it had sneakers,

it had jewelry, it had this. That person got murdered, right? That's a come up. Like who doesn't? Like I'm not saying that's on the reg. It's like storage wars. That's what I'm saying. Yes, I mean.

How does that happen? I mean, maybe the guy's a fucking he's just some heiress and she's like, yeah, I'm saying. Yes. I mean, how does that happen? I mean, maybe the guy's a fucking some heiress and she's like, yeah, I'm not going back to JFK to get my $5,000 purse when I got 50 of them. So what I'm saying, you might find a halfway decent pair of sneakers for the summer at the fucking. I don't disagree. I'm just saying most para umbrose.

I get it. But man, that stuff, that ain't you got run that through this the dishwasher or something that stuff is sure That's I mean sure that stuff ain't clean. That's that was an old pair of shoes that kid brought in for sure You know what I mean? Like that's those things got some fucking miles on them man that fucking by the way you bring that up My luggage got lost. I didn't tell you yeah, he lost a full suitcase got it back No, where is that? Canada they can't locate it. We got a tech saying what we want to be like oh mix I've seen one of your bags didn't

They say one of your bags didn't make it on board the plane. Please give us your address In the address still know I would say we can't locate your bag How the fuck does that happen? I don't know all the computers We got were you lippy with the fucking with the person checking it in no You know what the bird does she puts air tags and everything Yeah, should have done that got one up my ass right now. Mm-hmm You don't want to lose you what a catch you are make sure all my boogers are intact you what a catch you are make sure all my boogers are intact don't want to misplace the mucus king just sitting on that conveyor belt in the airport going around in a circle

nobody forgot him is somebody gonna claim him they're bidding on you all right we gotta wrap it up what a fun one yeah gang we love you to death grab those tickets for the tour like hippie said we're not we're not bullshitting everything's moving pretty fast we want only to miss out so grab some takes come see us on the road we can't wait to get back out there we love you and we'll see you next week PUTE!