Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Criminal Activity w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: January 22, 2024

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! NYC Town Hall Live Show: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows NEW AYG Card Game: https://areyougarbage.com/products/are-you-garbage-card-game Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Rocket Money: https://www.rocketmoney.com/garbage Tushy: https://hellotushy.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Yeah, but let's talk about Mint Mobile. Shout out to Mint Mobile. Talking $15 a month when you sign up for a three month plan. We're talking about a limited talk, text, and data. So you can do all the scrolling you want. Yeah. You can even watch your videos. My wife's been using it for years.

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a month at mintmobile.com slash garbage additional taxes fees restrictions apply see me mobile for details let's get to the show welcome to another exciting edition of are you? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or Absolute trash. Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Oh yeah! It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good to be greasy. Yeah.

Okay, just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host H.Rolly coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. Just got a visit from the cops. Oh boy. Looking for. Okay.

Federal. Woo! ATF. FBI. Alphabet boys. Coming in looking for. I don't know what the hell she did Maybe good Samaritan award or something. I don't think so Usually don't send a SWAT team for something. You don't have a search warrant for that

My co-host is coming at you from across the tables what we call a family episode Just the boys the bozos and homies just the way we like it. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international business man. He's got us going to Ireland, going over there. Going over. Paying some tribute back to the old country. Motherland kicking on, I gotta kick up some vigor. One thing I can't take away from you,

you're getting me back to Ireland. Look at that, huh? My father's smiling down from heaven on him. Okay, dead guy brought up first 90 seconds. Here we go, it's an all-time record. Kevin James Ryan everybody. What's up everybody? Thanks for tuning in.

As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are. Trudorov! Cooking! And obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com slash rugarbage, you go over there, you join the motherfucking homies over 13,000 people on that gosh darn patreon

Army of garbage Over there you can get up to two bonus episodes every week There's a ton of video content on their vlogs other goals stuff. We've done sure party check it out also the second best website Www.ru garbage.com. Yes, you go over there You get your brand new RU Carbage Card Game. Mm-hmm. With over 50 questions for you to play

with your friends and your family. Nice old drinking game, party game, whatever it is. Running low too. Running low, moving some numbies. And then also, May 9th, New York City, New York Town Hall, baby, our biggest show to date. Get them takey. Let's go, grab the squad, come out and see the boys.

Classiest place we've ever performed. Yep. On the great white way. This is gonna end up with lawyers, I'm sure, so. Broadway! Uh-huh. And have a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the old magic man speaking of Broadway.

Works the ones of twos, the threes and the fours, crosses the T's and he dots the I's and he is no stranger to the boards. Give it up for T-Bone McScro and stubby McBowlin everybody what up boys Hey, man, no try to enjoy wintertime, which is a struggle You know the snow gets me down got a lot going on. Oh, yeah, what the hell's with you do all doom and gloom I'm not doing gloom. I got happy and sunny. I have a plan to get me out Okay, I want to build a jump when's the last time you built a a jump? What a snow jump. Yeah. Where are you going to do that? I said a quark or something. Central rest

here for that. What are you nuts? And end up in a clink with tody. There's got to be a hill worth sledding somewhere down there in the catacombs. You're going to go you're going to go build a jump and go sledding. I would like to. You go out to the cemetery out there and on a graveyard. What is it? Bro, Jackie Robinson Parkway. Yeah, jump over some vampires. Letting Dukstrap. Yeah, that's not I mean, I'm too big to be doing. I'm too big and too old. I don't blast right through. I don't get on a sled. I ain't doing a tube. I ain't doing a snow.

I ain't doing nothing. I'm done. Those days are behind me. Somebody asked me to go. Can't be going on stage with one of those fucking scooter things. Somebody asked me to go ice skating the other day. I'm like, are you out of your goddamn mind? Yeah, the kind of life insurance. What are you, crazy? Yeah, you're too big to go ice skating.

Never. None of that. It's all done. It's all done, that stuff. Yeah, I stay on the ground. Ten minutes on a treadmill. That's what I'll do. Ha ha ha ha ha. A little incline and do some weights. That's what I'm doing. That's it

Okay, not doing anything like that where I'm gonna slip and bust a hip or something man You would go down I'm a fall risk Kidding me also the ozempics my bones are like made out of peanut brittle right now Also, if you pick up enough momentum you might take out a fucking family from Cleveland It's snap like a dried-out Christmas tree. He get to me. Uh-uh. Now get off the jumps, man. What was snowball fight? With who?

I'm pitching the idea right now. No, no, that would end in a fist fight. That would end in a fist fight. I got contact. I'll probably be stuffing rocks in there for sure, dude. No, but I saw that video of a pitcher. Don't ever get into a snowball fight with a pitcher. And this kid whipped one at a fence and you heard the

to snap on it. Oh, knock your eyebrows. It was a scene from Elf. I would say the one time we were on the beach, teenager, you know, young teens, 13, whatever it was. Type body hanging out chicks all over you. I got the picture. Swimming with a shirt on.

And we were like in the water. The guy on the boards with a jean jacket on. We were like? I got the picture. Swimming with a shirt on. And we were in the water. The only guy on the boards with a jean jacket on. We were like, I yelled. We were doing like sand fighting, like whipping the wet sand at each other in the water. You know what I mean? Oh.

We were just like, you know, just gunk fight. Yeah, gunk fight. Do that in the bay. Get that stink on you. But dude. That's crack causes a fight. I called, I was like, we had done it once or twice And it was like fun or whatever and I was like alright

Say hi and fight and like I bent down my jerk off buddy was already like had the hit he already had it in his hand Had to drop on you dude. He was just waiting for me dude. I came up out of the water fucking glung to my eye up I couldn't see for two weeks. I was dude. I was sleep I would wake up to be puss and give it like low tide in my fucking eye That's saying shit gets everywhere. That's how you get cholera, dude I know man was I came out of the water thinking I was Johnny cool guy had knocked down Got sand crabs living in your nose all the hot all the hot chicks on me striking out

You ever get jammed up in the in? Not like almost drowned, but like, did you ever get knocked around a little bit where you were scared? Yeah, one time I was boogie boardin' after they had left. That was when like the good weight, my cousin was a bit of a surf, not great, but like a surfer, so they would go like

after the lifeguards were left, so because you couldn't surf during, you you know, there was only certain sure or whatever So I would go in boogie board. That's probably seven years old or whatever man I called a ripper man and this thing I nose dived and smashed my face came up all bloody crying sand all gunked up man in back I don't have I'm got a good track record on the beach. I get beat up. Man, I was petrified of that stuff. It was the 80s. If somebody had always, the summer before,

someone had gotten God out there, and they had a little cup at the grocery store and all that shit for them. For Timmy or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, he was body surfing. He broke his neck. Oh, always a neck.

I feel like people were breaking their necks every week in the 90s. It was crazy. It was every, you're breaking your neck. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. always a neck. I feel like people are breaking their necks every week in the 90s. It was crazy. It was every you're breaking neck Yeah, yeah, yeah always breaking neck. So knock that off. Yeah, I'm enjoying the winner. I like it. That's good I like the cold. I like the coziness. I I got something the other day is a little more hard feelings with the other day I was me and the bird were walking the dog Mm-hmm, and I have said before

What kind of sex term taking the dog for a walk and We're walking There's like a there's like a strippy a street behind a church that like the cars are constantly getting stolen This is in the burrow. This is up in a high. This is in the heights There's a street band at church the cars are constantly get so it's like one of those things of like you walk by every day And there's a car on cinder blocks or milk. There's milk crates. How do they hold them? I don't know they squatch down they're like they just needed like enough to get it off they steal the wheels or whatever. We're still using milk crates like that as a society

they're still out there? I don't think it's just for milk it's for like a lot like you know. Grocery stores are like hey there here comes like whatever's getting delivered in milk crates. No kidding. It's not like glass fucking milk jug. Still banging, huh? I believe so, yeah. Good for them. Whatever, it's all plastic crates that people are stealing from,

whether it's like the two liter ones from the fucking, you know, the Pepsi guy or whatever. You know how they have like the- Holy shit, those things? I know, they're like Lego pieces. Yeah, any plastic thing that they come in that they deliver food in at a grocery store, these people are stealing and propping up cars to, you know,

Hmm. They're not, I don't care, I don't think they care what they're using. They're fucking stealing something to get these up gaps off. They're fucking, you're getting caught on the wrong crime here, buddy. They're stealing cars, alright? You're like, milk crates, what is this society, Constance? You're supposed to recycle them. I know, Jesus Christ. Talk about getting bogged down in the details. Those are for records and such. I know, what the fuck?

They're stealing cars. Power guys in their 20s gonna move. Neighborhood's going to shit. Neighborhood is going downhill. Everything's going to, whatever. So I'm walking the dog, and this is one of those things of like, you live in a city long enough, you know,

all right, this guy's up to no good. Let me just walk past them, whatever it is, you know. Just shirtless guy with a machete. He's covered in blood, holding a milk crate. I should steer clear. You believe what they're doing with these milk crates, sir? I don't know where you're going with this. I don't want, I don't want to.

He was a criminal. What do you mean? Where am I going with this? Yeah, I'm asking a sack of the money sign on it. No, you know who is- Just that striped mask? What was that all about? You know who's oblivious to that?

Hey, we're mask riffing over here. Come on, get involved. Sorry. Back to the milk crates. Jesus Christ. You know who's oblivious to that kind of situation who the birds? No, mine we clock we both clock okay. Yeah, mine's walking around it blowing daisies I might get over on this side of me

In case they make a move I can throw you on the ground run and get help real quick You start mugging her. Give me your bag. Give me your wallet. No, dude, no awareness of anything like that. No, mine's pretty good. I got to take it over here. Or like, starts walking, like, you know, taking a step behind me.

Damn, I got to be able to defend. Yeah, sure. Keep it all in front of me. I got a couple of swings in me. Oh, yeah. I think that's being generous. I got a couple of swings in me. Yeah, that's I think that's being generous I got one or two uh-huh hit them with a dude do the throat or something sure karate chop. He's got two moves, please don't Calling the police sir I

So we're walking down and they it's, it's a, it's a, not a hub for crime, but there's- Sounds like it is. There tends to be nefarious characters cause there's no houses. It overlooks like a park and it's behind a church. So- Where you got got?

No, it wasn't. Same street but further. I was, no, no, no, I was right behind the police department when I got me. They don't care, these people are wall-less. So, we're walking down and I see them. So imagine it's like a street and then like the three feet of grass,

sidewalk, you know, like sidewalk, and then maybe 10 feet of grass and then like the back of these buildings. You know what I mean? So there, they have one of those mopeds that everybody's riding around on. And it's like off, it's against the back wall. And like it's not a place somebody would chain.

It's not a place these people should be stopped with a moped. You know what I mean? Like there's no reason. They're all the way over there. They're not parking it. They're not on lock. It's like-

Set it once, I'll set it a thousand times. Two guys on a scooter, no good. No, this is a Bonnie and Clyde. No good. Either way, two people on a scooter are up to no good. This is a couple. And you know, I guess it's just because I grew up with a lot of them, but like, you know,

the crack-heady couples, they're like, their mission is to gather stuff for the two of them You know what I mean? They're there. They're out there collecting like fucking resources so they can both get fucked up Yeah, they're a team to get in their operating together. You know what I mean busy day, huh? So I I clocked out right away, but they're in like regular clothes. They're not like home But they're like they're you know Cracky they're They're moving and shaking sketchy. Yeah shifty shifty sure dodgy. He's a little too thin He's a little too thin and I mean you think I got bags under my eyes

This guy looked like he was a Mike Tyson's knockout this guy was like in he looked like a raccoon buddy Tray little melatonin. Yeah, wait, you gotta check those when he flies. Uh-huh, those are heavy bags. Those are over 35 pounds, bud. Those come out in the oversized luggage carousel. Couple of Louis Vuitton's hanging off your eyes. Oh, really?

Woo hoo. Okay, it started hitting you with the squirt bottle Fucking get you on your toes again. That was good. It was all right better So I go fuck. All right, now I got the dog. I get the dog What's he's thinking? He's sniffing. He's like he's on the verge of taking a deuce, this one, right, so he's not paying attention really. And we clock them maybe 20 yards out, we both do.

But it's like, Sketchy couple buy a scooter. Sketchy couple, and we clock them because they clock us. They're looking, it's not just like, they're looking at us going, are they looking at us, are they tracking, are they looking at the phone? Squirrels in the park. So because they're doing something they shouldn't be doing, it's not just like, they're looking at us going, are they looking at us? Are they tracking? Are they looking at the phone?

Squirrels in the park. So because they're doing something they shouldn't be doing. I'm not sure what they're doing, but they're doing something they shouldn't be doing. They weren't cheating on a test. No, no. So they're clocking us heavy.

And then like, you know, turning their backs and there's a lot of movement. The one guy's got a school bag. She's got like a plastic bag. They have that big metal chain to the scooter. But it's not connected. I don't know if they just cut it off. I don't know what's going on.

And I'm not taking the fucking time to figure it out. But I'm like, all right. So I get the dog, I pull like the half leash up. You know what I mean? So I have him like, he's wandering before, but I get him here to be like, if I need to fucking, if I gotta hit him with a sickle, I'm good. You know what I mean? So I have him like he's wandering before but I get him here to be like if I need a fucking if I gotta hit him with a sick I'm good. You know what I mean? Like get him boy. You think he would I

Think if that guy if we started scrapping he Probably go chase the mailman or something. I think I'd be high and dry. You have to tell him that guy had treats in his pocket Yeah Of something you know what I mean? Er So you should get him a spike collar so he looks the part and I hurt myself when he come in Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. like we both kind of made eye contact of like keep your head on a swivel. This is, you know, are you going to continue to walk by them? We have to. Oh, it's too weird at this point to just stop and turn around. They've already worried about social engagement. No, I'm worried about being like they're great. They're clearly crazy. So my it's like on the. It's like we were talking about on the subway.

It's like, you got to get off at a certain point. Like you're either in it. You got to weather the storm through it. Because if you show them like what if he goes, oh, they're gonna go tell the cops. I gotta fucking, I gotta go get them or whatever. Or we've, just our presence has intimidated them, easy mark, let's get them. Yeah, something, so I'm like, exactly.

Like, all right, I'll give you that. These kids, I'm like, you ain't fucking scaring me, meanwhile, I'm shitting myself. No, I wasn't scared, but it's just like, all right, just, you know, just keep your head on a swivel type thing Man, and we're walking so I'm like alright cool. We're like, you know shoulder to shoulder And right as we get to them the dog stops to take his shit Dude, we are literally two feet from him and he's like I know it like there's we have to make some sort of fucking

Dude it was so awkward. Zit and egg shells. The guy was stunned. He was like, hey, have a nice day or whatever if I can scare him. I didn't pick that up. That was fucking. You guys go ahead with your stabbing. He's just pooping.

Those angle grinders go through that metal like butter. Is that a Milwaukee? We have one at the house. We're just over here around the corner. Come over any time. Away a lot too. Yeah, it was brutal. It was one of those things that like, ah, we're just in this.

And we all kind of just like. You guys seen the lantern flies around here a lot? Yeah. Stick. Yeah, it was one of the, I couldn't do it. Do you pick that up? I did. I was, because also you can't show fear. I'm like, yeah, you're not you picked that up. I did I was Cuz also you can't show fear. I'm like, yeah, you're not fucking scaring me. This is my home turf

I'm gonna bend down pick up my poop and get your eyes on the whole time Got my hand on my wallet. I Don't know man. It's from this. I've never been to this part of town, but what you're describing. I think I leave that there part of town but what you're describing I think I leave that there uh sure but then now I'm a criminal if I leave it there I can get up to $150 fine in 30 days in jail I'm a bad boy too I'm looking at him like yeah you fuck around go toe to toe with me call me the neighborhood pooper shits in this whole neighborhood I never pick it up keep it talking about's talk about Rocket Money. Rocket Money! You ever get the feeling money's flying out the door?

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Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I've the The most you leave it You act like you're yeah, you act like you're picking it up You look around make sure your good coverage wise fake bend down pick it up one time I disassembled a box a cigarette box and use that I've never felt more like what like a pack of sigs correct Jesus how small was the duet big dog big dog Had poop all over my hands We're lucky enough that in the neighborhood they have a lot of the bags like stations where people go put the plastic bags

I'm not getting rid of the crackheads first Coffee cup works, so if you don't have anything you're walking with coffee you realize you're out of a bet. Not a mug. Not an animal I'm talking about an empty coffee cup. It's still steaming. Yeah Ordin you want two scoops? Yeah, coffee cup works coffee cup. Well, what's I mean? What's why is that disgusting? I don't know I'm sorry. It's better than the bat. You're your hands don't touch you. You just go. You know, it's good Yeah, I've Get some nosy neighbor Jamie up though. Hey, I would like to get your take on this. This is this is heavy

Doll for business hours dog poop For you when we're in the burbs we go on like there's like a nature trail We go on a walk. Yeah, and hope poop back there. Yeah, and he'll poop back there. Yeah. Do I have to pick that up? Yeah. On the trail? Not on the trail. In the woods? It's in the woods. Nah, yeah, you gotta do it.

Is he going deep in the woods? Deep in the woods. That's what I'm saying, yeah. Not go to a cabin or anything. Yeah. He's not spending a weekend in the Poconos. He does have a barrel of whiskey on his neck. What do you mean deep in?

I'm not letting him go. Yeah, that's cause that'll just, that'll start stinking in the spring and it'll bring flies and bugs and varmints. You think that's gonna last till the spring over winter weather? No way. I mean, I think you're doing it now.

You're gonna be doing it in the spring. You got it, yeah. Yeah, you just made an aside. I said now, he pooped and I'm not. And yeah, I do think it'll, it'll thaw in the spring. Okay. And it'll stink. He's just responding like you had scientific data on actually.

I know poop thaws in the summer. What? I know how much poop are you freezing? I know. Yeah, dude, you can't be doing that. You're those guys. I'm not the fur. Don't paint me with this. Bush smells back there. Next thing you know, you're pooping back there. Dear pooping back there dear pooping back there bears are pooping your dog is not on a deer diet deers eat grass and leaves and berries who knows what that hell I ever smelled a vegan a vegan poop they're the worst poops you ever smelled I don't think I have your deer poop doesn't smell their little pellets little pelly pells yeah but you're not spending enough time around to know if

they smell I do I think you're just making up time around to know if they smell. I do. You're just making up facts and going along with it. I mean, I'm not saying, hey, I leave it back there like for sure, but it's like. If somebody sees you on that trail and not do that, they're gonna yell at you. They're gonna yell at me? Some guy on a mountain bike?

I'm saying no one sees me. I'm not doing it. I'm doing it when no one's there. You're really part of the problem, aren't you? Hey, I'm not stealing moped's are long up there Between the church and the overpads or no, I think how you're walking your dog your trail five feet off the trail in Now the brush is okay now I think you're wrong to blatantly say no about that. That's it say that's not a gray area

You can't because be everybody walks back there to get their exercise I don't want to smell that it's the grayest of areas the grayest. It's nature. It's nature You do it into a society. You don't do it in nature. I don't think so You're you're on the fringe of a society dog. I've taken dumps in the woods, bro Yeah, and I pick them up with a coffee cup Big gold cup Yeah, I've only done that once Not good. Yeah, I've only done that once. Not good. Yeah, it ain't great.

But all that's neither here nor there. We got a gosh darn family episode. Of course. As the big man said, when you sign up for Patreon, we'll answer your garbage question on the air. Oh yeah. It's the best way to do it, Patreons. Get a first crack at it.

All right, let's see here. This one's from Sam Tom... Sammy T. Okay. First time long time ever walk on graduation day just to be handed a piece of paper that says I have to come back in the summer to make up the final credits instead of receiving an actual diploma. P.S. the guy behind me got handed a bill for a late book instead of his diploma. The hell kind of school you go into. Jesus. Sounds like a pay-to-play type place. No, but that was a threat. That was the lingering threat from seventh grade on.

That's like getting served at your high school graduation. Yeah, that sucks. It's a guy dressed up as a pizza delivery guy. Got you. Yo, Alamone. No, that was a threat, you know, growing up, but that was actually a threat for me. Senior, oh, I had it too. Disciplinary. Yeah, I don't think I knew

when I, if they were gonna hand me a diploma or not. Really? I was like third in my class. I don't think they would have let me- From the other way. I don't think they would have let me, it doesn't make sense to let you walk. I get your parents in there. It's all that stuff I know but if you're not graduating you shouldn't get the wall if you're like hey

You got to come back in the summer and do this one class or take this test or this extra credit project We're gonna let you walk under the guise of you know, which thank you like you've shown that you're gonna walk You know what I mean? Thank God because I probably wouldn't have You've shown that you're gonna walk. You know what I mean? Thank God because I probably wouldn't have Man, that was the most important thing to a parent walking at graduation. Why you gotta go home and tell them you aren't walking God damn. Yeah, that was that was the biggest threat. It sucked Ours is quick though. It's yours during the day or at night during the day ours is at night Friday night Boom. We were in the car on our way down to the Jersey Shore Ours was at night, Friday night. Boom, we were in the car,

on our way down to the Jersey Shore. Shit-ass. Yeah, I think mine was during the day. Let's give it a party. College was during the day too. Oh yeah, go on. See you around. Ripped up my draft card and headed on out of the Wild West.

Go get drunk at Mac and Mancos. We did go to Mac and Mancos. Yeah, no shit. And they did not appreciate us being there before the season started I can tell you that sure messed up our pie on purpose purpose, but I don't want to tell you Maca max is unbelievable Love that Jersey Shore pizza. You're on acid man. They probably thought I thought you read in spaghetti It's probably true another porter house, please

probably true another porterhouse please what if too many spiders in my pizza I mean I just met this guy but this piece is making a lot of sense ours was quick good idea in and out yeah I don't think ours but I mean we had a big class we were 505 our class was where'd you fall into that I was the I was the real meaty part of the car I remember I remember the girl that was 505. Man. Yeah, I was I think we were like 347. I was 343 or something like that. Look at you now. Yeah. Still dumb as around again. 348 dumb as a hammer laundry all over the apartment. You're five out of 80 days. You're five out of five on the team

What do you mean out of our team? Intelligence wise I Would disagree with that strongly Okay, give me a test. Well, who do you think you're smiling? Who do you think you're smarter than on that? I think you'd be surprised I'm asking that's not an answer to the question. You said no way and I said, okay Well, then statistically there's five five people we know who they are. Do you think you're, I'm not shitting on you. You started with I was 345 out of 347.

343, I think. I'm sorry, well my apologies. Out of 347, something like that. Okay. I wasn't the valedictorian. You act like I'm painting you in this light. You said you were at the bottom of- Yeah, it was different back then

They didn't know about different. Yeah, everybody gets smarter in their fifties They know about learning this I wasn't diagnosed with my learning disability. I got to college I was has to leave Okay, all right gentlemen Yeah, and there are certain things that you're for sure the smartest on if we did a quiz on like 1990s Philadelphia Phillies trivia you're smoking everybody, but actually wouldn't be good on that But some literature stuff. Thanks for the yes and some No, I can't let him be right

Goddamn mental mental battle. Well, what would the questions be? You mean like if we all took the SATs or something? How do you determine who's smarter? First of all, you're throwing this at me like I've thought this out. I have not. I would ask us, with the five, you know, the five of us, you're really taking offense to this. The five of us interact a lot together. If we all had to vote on who dumbest sounds are, on who the bottom... Stupidest. on who dumbest sounds are, on who the bottom, if we had to rank from a smartest to not as smart, who the number five person would be most of the time. It goes Kippy, Luke, me, you.

I think me and you are pretty close. You're pretty dumb. I am very dumb. And you're undereducated. It's true. You have no education, basically. But I excel in like- You went to college?

For about five minutes. Oh, you dropped out too? I got kicked out. First semester. Not through J.B. My man. Man, he's got more time than you do. I got caught in the dorm with him.

I do. You might be, okay. Yeah. I really. You're not three or two or one. I didn't really go to class after my freshman year. After my freshman semester.

And I was in hotel and restaurant management after my first year. After my freshman semester, and I was in hotel and restaurant management after my first semester, or maybe my first year. So that second year was a wash. It was just like seminars about Ray Kroc and Bob Thomas. Oh, there. Yeah. They would have like somebody from McDonald's come

and like, you know, do like a presentation. I was a good restaurant, hotel and restaurant management school. I couldn't figure out the system though, like how to book somebody. We met Bob Evans. I wish.

Went down to the sausage factory. I do remember at one point we were doing how to check somebody into a hotel. At hotel management? Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, like I was like doing front of like the front desk stuff. I couldn't get it I remember thinking to myself by the time I mean you're saying you can't get that but it's I was I was thinking about a time

I'm in the field and it'll all be computerized field I Mean by the time on boots. I would have been more of a concierge. You know, I mean where's where you score coke Where's your blow and who's it was a couple of tugboats set them up the room 305 You know what I mean? Hey, where do you score Coke? Where do you score Blow and Hoos? Yeah, dude. It was a couple of tugboats that set him up to Room 305. That's a lost art form, isn't it, the conchiers? No, I think that's still bang.

You think so? I think that's still good ones. I've always been too scared, but if you're in like a Vegas hotel and you go up to the conchiers and, you know. I don't think the concierge is doing that. That's for some buffet tickets. Buddy, you know where I can score Fogo Day Chal reservations?

I heard you're the guy to see about an eggs Benedict. No, you would go to the parking guys would straighten you out with that. That's what I'm saying. That's like people from fucking- I've never done that. What? With anything like that.

Like what? We were talking about two things. Like going... Rolled up to a stranger like you. I've been in cars in certain cities where the driver has been asked almost immediately. In a city where you go... Oh, then I take that back. These drivers are gonna know that, you know, it's... I recant my statement then. I take that back. These drivers are going to know that, you know, it's I recant

my statement. I've done that. I've been in the front seat in a small, yeah, in a small town being like, yo, what's up? Oh, give me that. What's up? You know what I'm talking about? Like, I don't know what you mean, sir. Give me a. Sir, this is a bus. I think I had him just take me to a Denny's or something. I'll see myself out. That's fucking good. You're smart technically, like when it comes to the cameras and stuff. I'm good at three things. Yeah.

In life. I know what's an overall, an IQ test. Is what you're talking about. I wasn't talking about anything. I was just saying a natural day to day. Yeah, I'm stupid. That's not what I'm saying. Pooping the rug.

I'll only make a boom-boom on the rug. I think you are very smart in certain aspects. Really? really to find out what I don't know what those are yet But I'm sure are you being serious or do you really think I'm smart in certain aspects? What do you think I'm good at what when you say one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life hands down not even close Thank you. I was going to tell you Congratulations I Think you're a great actor. Thank you solid musician would don't solid music. I got snouted the Emmys Bastards what we're gonna get a best podcast on there YouTube streaming something yeah, somebody somebody making a little

You know doing some numbers sure we doing over here Yeah Somebody making a little, you know, doing some numbers. Sure. What are we doing over here? Yeah. That's it? What? You know what, I don't know. I mean, no, I'm just complimenting you. You think I'm gonna problem solving? Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha. I think you're gonna problem causing. Yes I am. If there's somebody that- So is it Emmy for that? If somebody can jam up a fucking open, easy pass lane, it's you all systems go I like coming up the work fully refuses to turn his key causing trouble

You asked me what the deal with the food order was that you had ordered while holding your phone in your hand the other day Oh, yeah, I've never worked out You ordered a Thanksgiving sandwich I did and then I think I made you throw up. I did give me got me very sick I only ate half of it was only gonna eat half of it And I had it on multi grain bread and that was the only thing that I had had that that far that day I mean you're feeling guilty that I said probably you had a Thanksgiving sandwich so you have to go No, no, no, no feel guilty about I'm just I mean you say you only had half of it was on multi-grain bread I hadn't eaten all day. I didn't have it the other half is still in the in the fridge

Sure, because I figured it would be kicking if I left it in a tree I know but if somebody said hey open up the packaging It's just napkins like when you were a kid and put the pillows to make it look like your body They fill the bottle of vodka with water They'll never know. Oh, they know I'm dumping the stiff drink They'll never know. Oh, they know Uh, I want time I got blamed for that and it wasn't me and it bothered the shit out of me I love that the vodka was frozen and they were like this was you. I'm like, I'm like I was like 19 I'm like, I'm not gonna hide it for they're gonna take it. I was just gonna take it was down the shore too

See, I love that. I love when I get blamed for something. That's not me Because usually it's me sure and when it's not it's just like yeah, right? You guys are all wrong about me the whole time I'll be vindicated to her later. I love my justice and it's life for another. I'll find the real perpetrator All right, let's see here great question. Yeah, home run of a question. Did you have graduation? Indeed we did okay 22 we all had to give a speech at a fish concert All right, let's see here. Great question. Yeah, home run of a question. Did you have graduation? Indeed we did. OK. 22, we all had to give a speech. Is that a fish concert?

You all had to give us 22 people? Yep. And you had to sit through 21 speeches? Did your parents go to that, or did they? They sure did. Really? Real proud. Man.

Of what? I graduated high school. Wood job. Yeah, I wasn't really in school. Yeah, I was. I was accredited. What do you mean I wasn't high school? What job was the yeah, I wasn't really school. Yeah, it was those credit. It was what do you mean? It wasn't a school. There were classes No grades Those those events were always weird for me Specifically because those were the only events that my mom and dad would have to spend together Right, so it'd be like and they were like cordial enough that my dad would go sit close to, you know.

That's nice. He wouldn't go to the opposite, unless it was such a big thing and they obviously weren't coordinated. But if he saw them, he was like, we're in the same section or whatever type thing. If you would have played sports, there would have been a lot of that.

Sure, but as I got older, it got less and less. Smoking cigs, your buddies. Yeah. Are we just trying to hurt my feelings with that? You're one of my buddies, and we smoke cigs all the time. How far did your sports get you? Yeah, we're not on a team, though. I was out there brainstorming, cranking, and smoking,

kicking back heaters like Mcconaughey. Just need a fat guy. If I can just break us all together. We can double our powers. He's a stupid fat guy. Not stupid. Oh, he had 342 out of the 348. A go-getter, somebody that chose a little potential.

But just hasn't quit. Someone who drops out to second year at college. Yeah. It's so funny to me and it's very I would just love to see you behind the system of trying to check like Role play checking in some but like you're in a class you're in a lecture room Mm-hmm, and you're role playing checking someone into a Marriott. I think I got that far I think you said you didn't understand it

I didn't under like we had like projects that we had to do, but it was never, that was never an oral presentation of it. Oh, you never had to actually do it. I don't think so. I don't think I ever got to that. I think I stopped going. You went to cashier school and failed.

Yeah, that's crazy. You didn't even make it to the point where they give you the keyboard, dude. Oh, then no, I did do it on a keyboard. That's right. I think you just told us you did like a lock sound. Yeah, that's how we did it I did do it on a keyboard. That's right. I think you just told us you did like a box out. Yeah, that's how we did it. We did it.

I didn't just make this up. But we never had the teacher walk up like, hi, I'm so-and-so. OK, what can I do? Yeah, I do remember putting it into a computer system. Real antiquated too. Like this is 96. It sucked.

Yeah. I didn't want to do that shit. It was just that black screen with the green letters Oh, man, that was the matrix code. That was the computer. I bought I brought the college with me I've told you it was an Epson. It was an Epson epic. I think I floppy this to do it I wasn't gonna do that watching porn on floppy this couldn't yikes. Nothing back then you're out there in the streets Yeah, fighting for your lives There's nothing back then. You're out there in the streets.

Yeah. Fighting for your lives. I remember what? That was never going to. I felt bad because I knew. I'm like, this is not going to work. I'm never going on my cousin's graduation. I know that feeling so well.

At UNC. Like right before I went to college. And I'm like, I will never. Never be here. This is never going to happen. Ha ha. And to my credit, you god loved them I'm gonna spin this here's me being the hero of this story I remember calling my dad

this was more football I do I was hard and I was getting my ass kicked and I didn't like it but I remember calling them a couple weeks in the football camp and being like I don't like it. I want to get out of here. And they're like, no, you got to stay. You got to, you commit it, you got to do it. All right. Play hardball.

Play hardball. I'm going to throw the academic part into neutral. I just knew, dude, being in class, I just knew. I liked the cafeteria. I liked the fraternity. I liked drinking or, you know, going out. I liked doing drugs in a room. I like the fraternity. I like drinking or you know going out. I like doing drugs in a room Uh-huh. I liked all that stuff the ladies it was all that was all great. Yeah The camaraderie being awesome for two years. Yeah, the sports lacrosse team. That was all great. I just knew

This is not This ain't me. I mean, yeah, I was never a good student. I could get by. It was so much work. I was good at gaming the system of what I have to do, what I can do, what I can miss, what I can't miss, where I have to, I only had so much attention and bandwidth that I was like, all right, I'm gonna put it, I have to put it into this paper this week.

I hated those kids, not that I hated you, but I- Thanks, I thought we were friends. No, I didn't mean like that. Like kids that would be able to like get by, like they could not study the stuff and then at the end of the year, they would crush the final or research

or what's it called? They'd study to the test and they would get it. Dude, I never- I know, but there was classes where I would, I would sit in there being like- What's this guy talking about? I have been ever going, I, I dude I had an economics class. It was me in fries class That was you in room service 101

Wait what room hold on you said pickle lettuce onions. What did you say? Yeah, yeah, I remember sitting in a fucking economy macro economics. What's that mean like bigger things Macro economics is like the airplanes helicopters skyscrapers Big big spaghetti. It's like bigger macro Mills getting hungry. It's like currencies It's like all of the things that make the economy like macro like bigger picture economics buddy T-bone, can we get a definition on macro economics?

Micro economics I'm an expert in micro machines. Oh, sorry. Love the micro machines sure they were my favorite Well, they got it the part of the part of economics concerned with larger scale or general economic factors such as interest rates and national productivity. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand that a little bit. It's like GDP, that kind of shit. Okay. And I, dude, it was that. What was your degree?

You had a degree in marketing. What were you doing in economics class? You have to take all those business courses. Have to take them. Dude, it was that. Never. I liked literature, but I was poor. He'd give you like nine books to read in like two months. What are you talking about?

He's got a rager tonight. I'm a rush chairman Responsibilities, dude. I got time for this. Yeah rush chair, but I like the idea of it I also like my psychology class. We studied chartre Okay, it was a psychologist or a writer or something like that. Seems to really retain it. Uh, charcuterie. Um, that and what's like the finance that might have been, like the stock prices and calls and puts that, no, but it would be like if you buy a new week's.

Snickers and budding. They got an A in that if you buy Snickers and budding But I remember sitting there going I ain't I'm I'm Jen it was like My brain would hurt and I would go like I would sit there and go okay step by step This okay, I got this. This, all right. Next thing, I just could. No. Just could, and I failed those,

I failed those, I had to go back and retake them in the summer, which they really just kind of fucking. That's what I like. Let you get through. Somebody that plays ball. Yeah. There was some sort of computer,

I had to make a website. What? That was brutal. Man, that was like in the early 2000s, too. I would have been like 2006, 2007. We had websites back then. Yeah. Crazy. Facebook was out. Oh, was it? Different. That's a Zuckerberg. You know what he's doing. Yeah. College dropout. Yeah. Harvard, though. Plus a cash. I thought everybody was all caked up by that like he dropped out a Harvard dropout still made Six don't make you dropped out as a billionaire. You know, I mean like it's not like he wasn't passing the test

He had a billion dollars waiting who's sitting around for that. Yeah, not like a cafeteria as much as the next guy but later Chemistry was like that for me. I didn't know what the fuck this guy was talking about. I just want to be like, hey man, shut up What on a movie dude? You're getting you're hurting my brain. You got the Bunsen burner going making a grilled cheese I'm not by the time that that I got in school all that stuff got got they took the lines out The kids were smoking heaters and stuff like that. We didn't do anything fun like that like experiments and stuff I remember we did like some type of version of the frog. We were talking about that. I can't remember exactly what it was. But we didn't have I remembered like I would go to turn them on and nothing they weren't hooked up. It was all but they still give me the goggles. They

would do like a what's it hydrochloric acid something as I got it in my eyes. I used one of those machines. What machines? The eye machine. Oh, the eye wash? Yeah. Yeah. And they stuck me in it. They stuck my head in it.

So embarrassing. I mean. I had news that I ain't turned out water on since the 70s. Yeah, that stuff comes out brown. It's like a sprinkler system. Dude, my buddy squirted me in the eye with it because I like flicked his nuts or something like that. And it was diluted, thank God.

If it wasn't, I would have been blinded for life because I wasn't wearing my safety goggles. Chicks in there. Yeah, man, I... Those things sucked anyway. Dude, I hated when they put something on you that you were like, I, this, you are already self-conscious about how you look.

And then in gym class, they put like a penny on you or something. Oh man. You're fact- I doubt you looked good in the lab coat. No, we didn't have lab coats on that. That's not Dexter's laboratory. Lab coats. I think we had lab coats.

Why would you go Oxford? That's crazy. Lab coats. Yeah, I think we had lab coats. We didn't have lab coats. No, we definitely had pennies. We had Fucking pennies. I mean that's what I'm thinking. That was like a G string on me that thing That things when they broke out the pick up the pennies. I don't got the nips for this

Look like I was wearing a fish net Looks like I was wearing a fishnet top. Check out the jugs on Ryan over there. That was brutal. Just hippy playing kickball on two sexy filmers. Man. You were the pity. It was brutal. They're short umbrows.

Man. I've been shaking it. This is brutal. Very short umbrows. Man, I've been shaking it. One time, I don't know, we did shirts and skins at a gym that like they were like, oh, we're gonna play basketball. We went up there and I didn't realize there would be like fucking 20 people running ball.

It was like the goddamn rucker. And they're like, all right, they like pick teams, like shirts and skins. And we, some guy on our team fucking shredded. I was like, we'll be skins. I was like, fuck. Dude, that was just one of those things. I'm like, you gotta own it, dude.

Shirt off, just fuck. I mean, I fake pulled a hand me at the second quarter. I got a game to that, I can't do this. Insurance purposes. If anybody gets me on film playing basketball, lose my contract with Blimpy. I don't know how to guard a man. His shoulders go all the way.

His guts go in the other. Call that the crossover. That was before that was the answer before AI, baby. Put the zone in the lead to try to stop me. A bunch of ones falling out of your pity. Change. I go up for rebound quarters or falling out. Oh man.

I had that one time. That's had to have happened to someone. Someone called Sersen Skins. Someone pulls their shirt off and has changed. Oh, I did. Yeah. When I was waiting tables and if I would fall asleep my jeans, I would wake up with like two dollars on me.

Just stuck everywhere. It's my boy coin star. Yeah. I remember one time in school, I was so furious with like two dollars on me, just stuck everywhere. It's my boy-coin star. Yeah, I remember one time in school, so furious with my mom. I wanna say it was middle school, but she washed clothes and there was a pair of underwear stuck in my pants and I didn't realize it and it shook out at school.

I've had that happen. Yeah. Thank God they were mine. Oh My god, I was only dealing with skid marks Patty's G string Para hose Henry Yeah

What are they called runs? What are the what are the marks called they got runs in them? They would say right what do you mean like when they get, that's a tear but it's called a run. Those pantyhose. Yeah, that's what I said, hose. Yeah, no. These were run, I was... I understand and then I said a pair of her hose with the runs. I hate it when my mom wore pantyhose. Why?

I don't know. This is gonna see, uh, boom. I mean where was she put? Disgrace. A pair of pants, we got their mother. I mean, where was she bought? Disgrace. A pair of pants, will you? God damn mother. I mean, you are something else. Getting mad at your mother, covering up her hairy legs. And then what it's for, it makes you look tan or something.

That's why they do it, right? I think it was to keep you warm. I don't think so. No winner. I think it's to, like, you're not showing skin. I mean, people wear them, like, all over the, you know. Sure. I don't know if it's like, I think it's the, you're not showing skin. I mean, people wear them like all over the, you know. Sure. I don't know if it's like, I'm sure a warmth is a byproduct,

but I think it's more of like a color type thing. Hide physical features such as blemishes, bruises, scars, leg hair, spider veins, varicose veins, all stuff full of us. Yeah. I should get a pair of panties. Get a pair of hoes on you. I think I would put a pair on one time. Oh, for sure.

Yeah. Definitely as a ski mask, I put them over my head. Oh yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. Get the other leg hanging here. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That's a that's a lost art. I feel that was big and that's what you would see in the nudie mag That that's a business woman with the skirt I'm listening, you know who does that very well Sorry, I get a

The scene it's the Seinfeld where George meets the girl on the Subway, oh, it's the Seinfeld where George meets the girl on the subway. Oh. That's her. She's the businesswoman and she's got those tights with like the ruffle, not the ruffle, but the design at the top. There's also a scene in Wall Street with Charlie Sheen and Michael Douglas, where he gets in the backseat of a limo with a lady and she has that. Man. Yeah. What are they called? It's Garter Belt. Right? I don't know. No, the Garter belt's the little...

Yeah, so the thing that comes up, then there's like... The leg's crunchy. Okay, yeah. No, that's a garter. No, a garter belt holds up the stockings. Yeah, those things. I think. Let me get eyes on that. Yeah, let's take a minute. Ha ha ha ha.

Oh, should be right back. Yeah, the garter belt holds up the stockings. Yeah, it's so it's like, oh my god, we can't show this on fucking I'll be flagged on YouTube. It's these things. It goes from the panties to the stockings. There's like a sterup You know all about that don't you? Costanza Empty calories and milk curiosity, yeah, Jordy boy

If the calories and milk curiosity on Jordy boy All right, this one's in the same as this is very school heavy. This is from Tommy love it Yo ever argue with the teacher that it's illegal to not let you go to the bathroom That's a it's illegal to not let me go There's a certain type of dirt bag who starts quoting their rights and things where rights aren't being infringed upon But I respect this is America. You flex it if you got it, baby. Yeah, that is trashy. That was a big thing with us is cell phones hit

when we were in eighth or ninth, seventh, eighth, ninth grade, kids started getting them. Mainly it was like emergencies type things. And would so all through high school we everybody had one at that point and You weren't a lot of hat you were allowed after 911 you weren't allowed to have it in school after 911 you were allowed to have it in school But it wasn't allowed to be on because like parents people were like if shit happens I want to be able to sure get in contact in contact yeah that just let me play snake and amazing but that was a

bit they would take your cell phone I'm like hey give it if you they call it you want to give it to me I'm taking it you'll get it back at the end of the day or the end of the year or the end of the wall you know whatever there whatever their threat was and everybody was like that's my personal property this is America you can't touch it yeah I went to school in the 90s there was none of that bullshit there was no rights back then this was a sewer wrap Gestapo regime they told you how it was yeah I was never a big bathroom guy wander and wander around the hall good and chill in the bathroom they all smell like smoke I hate it being in

there uh I got in the back of the class and goofed around. I would definitely go take a long cruise. I would go. Yeah, I'd skid. I'd skid that a lot. I'd hit a vending machine. Sure. Maybe go get a Swiss. One of the Swiss ice teas. Our bathrooms were littered with it. I bet it was similar in yours. Wet toilet. Probably not. Wet toilet paper glob on the ceiling. Oh yeah. That was elementary school for us. We were early adopters. A lot of pencils in the drop ceilings. Sharp ones. Throw it up there. David Letterman style.

This one I don't even understand. This is from Ryan. $10 home. We never have one read. Is it garbage for a family Velcro's the remote to a traffic cone so it doesn't get lost? Traffic cone is a little excessive. I've seen that done where they have it. That's like the hubcap on the bathroom key at the gas station. Yeah, that's crazy. A cone is crazy.

Yeah. If you have an orange cone in your living room. I guess you'll always find it though. But you know what, I love the way they smell. You ever smell an orange cone? Yeah, have I smelled it? Oh, on the inside. What am I, an asshole?

Oh, it smells so good. Sometimes I would bite one, just to fucking get them in there. Yeah, I know you did, Fatty. Ha ha ha ha. I think it's made out of the same stuff peeps are. Yeah, peeps. Now I know that, yeah, that rubber smell

will get that plastic-y, fucking sink your teeth in, your blood runs cold. That's what you want. Uh, I've seen it where the, where friends or cousins had, you know, the dad chair or whatever, the Velcro and it was on there so you never lose, never lost it. Sure. We weren't, we didn't, we didn't apply to that. What we like to do is it gets lost.

Huge argument. Scream at somebody. Somebody gets screamed at. My mom rips the cushions off the couch and we're in it, we're in it, Terry! And then find it and, you know, then move on about our day. Never an apology.

Yeah, no. Yeah, that's a... We were looking for trouble. We never did any of that. Never like no, no system. We weren't smart. We were just like, well, I would just deal with it. There was never any no system.

Also never a back. Never a back on our remotes. Never, ever, ever. You gotta be able to flip the batteries. Yeah, you gotta be able to spin them. No, pull it out, put it back in. You gotta cut more clicks out of it. There was way too long where we were taped

for like a very, very, like multiple generations of multiple remotes, we were just scotch-taping. What you're in it, you're in it. Yeah. So, so like back in the day, replacing those remotes was, that's like a trend of like what we talk about on the show of like stuff being available, like the backs of the remotes were off, cause you couldn't get a new remote.

You know what I mean? Like what are you gonna call fucking the cable provider? Have them send one out for $92? It's like you live at that. Now you can just be like, oh my phone can turn into a remote. It's like the technology and they're way cheaper. It's like, you know, before I remember the first universal

remote we ever got to make the V probably the VCR, the DVD player and the TV work at the same time. The square, weird. Blew my mind. Remember the one that had the extra stuff? You slid the top up down and there was more buttons underneath it. They never did anything.

They never did anything. They never did. What were they planning for? That was like picture and picture and picture and picture. What were they planning for, man? Man. What did you think this was going? We had one, man, as a kid, it flipped down. It's like a cell phone kind of.

There was like that same thing that would slide up. This one flipped down, probably like two and a half inches or whatever, and hey, how you doing? Lot of fun with that bad boy. Dad, it's for you. Just a good berry. All right, let's see here. This was some handsome, fo's for you. Just a good berry. All right, let's see here. This was some handsome, foley senior portrait.

Ah! The first time, long time, never have one read. You rich boys have wooden hangers yet? Or are you still rocking the plastic ones like us bozos? Plastic, but ours have like a little felt on them. I hate those. We upgraded all of our hangers. I think we moved into the new apartment.

We were mostly plastic. I think we've upgraded all of our hangers. I think we moved into the new apartment. We were mostly plastic. We have some wood ones for bigger jackets. You know what I mean? Like I think we might have a set of like seven wood ones. And I think they're in the hall closet for jackets because like a bigger jacket will, you know, flimsy out those plates.

But I'm pure plastic Johns's, like, all the way through. Hangers are really the bane of my existence. I don't like hangers. I like when they're all the same, but for soul, I've always had so many, so many extra, and like broken ones, and this one and that one. My mom had one that was covered in yarn

The whole thing was in yarn. Oh, I remember those I think those were for like nighties and stuff great For her hoes I think because they were like softer like for the they were a little more Yeah, not gonna tear or pull the material. Yeah Keep your strap on at that pull the material. Yeah. Keep your strap on in that. No, you're bald.

They were not 90s, but finer materials, I think it was. Delicates. Yeah. Things you would wash in wool light in the sink. My mom's still banging with that stuff. Really? Yeah, sweaters and stuff, I guess. Oh, OK.

I remember I coming home. Not like a teddy or something. No. What? A nice lady. I like that skibot. You're running a little back. That wool light commercial. I mean, it was something like a nice lady. I like that skibot. You're running a face. That will light commercially. It was some like some like single lady, like a working girl. You know what I

mean? She comes home. Yeah, I'm with Caleb from the office. And she'd like wash her like, I don't know, slip. You know what slip is? Yes. Man. Yeah. Well, I'm hard. I'm all charged up this. Yeah. Well, I'm hard. I'll charge up this. A Y G after dark. I don't ever come at home, man.

There was a time when my sister, it was proud of you, you're 47. 47, about to be 48. So when my sister and brother were in, I wanna say like junior high high school, sweaters hit heavy. So you were probably in early college maybe. Yeah, sweaters hit heavy. So you were probably in early college maybe? Yeah, sweaters were big.

Like, dude, it was like the arrow pastels, the, for all of the gaps, there's old Navy's, every butt, sweaters were fucking huge. When the cotton V-necks came back from the 80s, when they came back sometime in the 90s, like the ones that looked, they were like, they would be white, but then they would have like a strip here

They were very like Catholic school II V. Leigh II kind of things Those things with a white t-shirt underneath it of rip pair of jeans. Yeah, it was that it was a mile It was that kind of stuff. So it's probably like What year would that be like late 90s? Mm-hmm mid to late 90s. Yeah, they were They were they just started wearing sweaters. I couldn't dry them dude I would come home on fucking laundry day trying to eat You know make ilios and sit there and munch down there'd be sweaters all over the fucking house laid out on the counters the fucking day It's like a goddamn sweatshop in this joint. I'm trying to eat a bowl of cocoa puffs.

It was brutal. I remember being like, can't we do, can't we fucking dry there everywhere, man? We need one of those wooden things. The hang of the racks? Yeah. You never had that. I sucked.

We had a clothesline way back in the day. I love a clothesline. Until the hornets took her over. Ooh, yeah, they did. And you had to take it out to cut the grass. Sure. And once. Would you have the to take it out to cut the grass. Sure. And once. Would you have the one that looked like the antenna?

Yeah. Oh, man. It was concreted into the thing. Like somebody dug a hole, poured concrete. Nine pounds of concrete in there. Like the things that they used to show that the tornadoes coming in movies? Yes.

Something like that. It had like wires in between it. It looked like an umbrella without the covering. Yeah, real big. It was like a big square. I mean, it was bigger than this table for sure. Yeah. Don't you have to have a dog chained in the yard

to have one of those? We did. Shout out to Rusty. And an unfinished doghouse was just plywood. I think that thing had a couple of leaks. In the first house we had a mountaintop. We had a nice backyard and we had a nice, I think she had two of them, clothes lines from like, you know, the house, like we're like,

they had a little deck. So if you walked out on the first floor, you'd be able to, you know, roll, like it had a thing on it so it could roll. And you'd be able to pull the laundry and so you wouldn't have to walk all the way down. And then, you know, when you put something on there, you're walk all the way down. And then, you know, when you put something on there, you're, send it out. Sheets hanging on that thing in a spring day. Man, talk about a little slice of heaven. You ain't lying, baby.

Running through that, smelling the summer in it, and then at night getting put to bed one of those, could still smell the grass and the dame on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No one had a bowl of kicks waiting for you the next morning. That's clean living, buddy. Take me back there and leave me there. You know what I'm saying kid. I picture you going back now. So let's live it in that house I'm back. I

Would go back to that house in a heartbeat. My brother has driven by it a few times when they when they drop the kid off at camp Yeah, that's I dream about that house the most like being in that house You know what I mean? Sure. Yeah, I's, I dream about that house the most, like being in that house. You know what I mean? Sure. I don't, I mean, I've, we still have the house that I grew up in for, you know, the first, you know, whatever. Like you were a baby there.

Now, three. That's a baby. Three or four, yeah, okay, yeah. Three or four, we moved in there. Yeah, that was my baby house. I would love to go back to that. How long for him to be back in that house till he goes, at this place, thanks.

At this place, thanks. Everything with you is rose. Is everybody alive? Everybody's there? Like my cousin still lived next door? No, you're going back to that house. Has they remodeled it and stuff? No, it's that, what do you mean? Soodeled it and stuff. No, it's that how do you mean?

So I get to it's the way it was sure my dad there. No, it's reality now. Who's gonna do the cook it? Yeah, I don't know no they tore down they tore down you haven't been back since you haven't even driven by somebody lives there I get arrested you can drive by you can't be that attached to it Yeah, you haven't even gone and seen it. I look at it on Google Maps every once in a while. That's not creepy, what? Hey, we get to see it. Is that weird, you never do that? No!

You never look at like your old house or like somewhere on like Google Earth or something? No, I couldn't care less. Huh, all right. Yeah, I mean, I kind of get it if you're like, I get it every night, we used to have a mountain house on like Wal-Paw-Pack that I try to find on Google Earth. Man, this place was the tits.

I can't find it. It's got tear down right now all over it. And no, it was so nice. They build it because they were, they build houses so my stepdad build it, it was sick, so sick. The top level was, there had a air hockey table on top of a bear rug and the top, the whole, the whole second floor was like a loft.

It was like a log cabin. That's like a proper nice cabin. Dude, they built it, I mean they were builders. So they like, they built this house for like their whole family to use and like they would all go up there. And man, the top row is kids. The top floor, that's where the thing was that's where

the air hockey table was and then there was a row what seemed like seven but it was probably like five single beds so like we don't get there meeting my cousins we run up you claim your bed for the weekend right on the lake you're down there fishing yeah I haven't been able to find it. And I think it's gone. Now that he's passed, I asked him before for remembered the thing, remembered the address. He said no.

How long? I searched some documents. I couldn't find it. How long were you going there? Couple years? Good chunk of my childhood. Well, didn't you use, I thought you remember you telling me you used that and that

like when you were like 16, you and your boys would go up there. No. Was that a different one? Oh, no, no, no this they sold this probably I was yeah Maybe like 15. I think we stopped going they got rid of it. Yeah, when they got the first They they got rid of that to get a sure house. Yeah, there you go out with the old you know what I mean It's also like that was fun as a kid you're running around nature doing all that stuff It's like once you know you're trying to see some fucking ladies and some pantyhose on a boardwalk it's all over go get your garter belt and they're gonna do it we've got to wrap it up gang what

a fun one boys yeah great nice little family episode as Kippy said in the beginning there grab some tickets come see us May 9th at town hall it's the biggest show you've ever done grab the squad come out and see us kippy and I co-headline place of may yg with the crowd and grab What's left of the card game before they're gone? And you're hitting me up? Yeah? What's going on with the card game? Yeah, they're gonna be gone gonna be gone and I'll tell you this I tell you all the time Gang we love you. Mm-hmm. See you next week. Hey, please