Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Dangerous Vacation w/ Oops the Podcast

Episode Date: February 2, 2023

Kippy and Foley are joined by old pals Francis Ellis and Giulio Gallarotti from Oops the Podcast. It's a fun one! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys. NYC! Get Tickets to the Gramercy Show, Access Code: GARBAGE https://www.livenation.com/event/k7vGF99hSu4jM/are-you-garbage-podcast Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp, Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE True Classic: https://www.trueclassictees.com Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Pickles and dickles kippy. We got a new tour alert baby. Oh, yeah, stay trashy 2023 tour is upon us Uh-huh come hang with us gang. It's a great way to news new people to the show bring the whole squad and come see It's gonna be fun. Yeah gang. It'll be a party Obviously this weekend when there's still some tickets left to our third show at the Gramercy Theater in New York City Scoop them up if they're still available, but then we're gearing up and we're going out baby running and gunning starting in March We're gonna be in Baltimore, Virginia Beach, Richmond, Virginia, Oklahoma City, Dallas, Texas, Houston, Texas, Austin, Texas And in April we're gonna be in New Haven, Connecticut, Burlington, Vermont, May We're hitting Tampa, Dania Beach, Florida, Raleigh, North Carolina, and in June Cleveland and Columbus more cities come and get those

Tickies now, baby. Yeah Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Oh, yeah It's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they're good to be classy

Hurt are just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day We're down here at Anthony's basement. She's upstairs screaming go birds, baby Going to the Super Bowl everybody's excited down here My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He is an international businessman He's the kind of guy that can pull your car to make it look like an accident Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan. Hey, what's up everybody? Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes full video available on youtube

As you know those numbers are Cookin and obviously the greatest gosh-darn website of all time www.patreon.com Slash are you garbage? Check it out. You get bonus episodes episodes of hard feelings the whole nine yards We've got a bunch of shit on there. Check it out. Yeah paying for my dermatology appointment. I'm already get this nose fixed How about a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire the magic man makes us all look good Works the ones works the twos crosses the t's dots the eyes plus. He's got that big old ding dong Give it up for T bone Mcscruffins. Toby Mcmallon everybody

What do you want me to do? That was a great He's sitting there staring at me Gang the reason along here doesn't have a mic is we have two of our old good pals here in the studio with us They're the stars of oops the podcast fucking love them to death One of them recently got a high five from Jason Tatum and the other one recently almost got his balls electrocuted by the Taliban Give it up for julio gallerani and francis ellis everybody. Let's go What's up the better looking us fine. That's a fine intro. They are the better looking us

Hilarious. What are you wearing francis? What's that shirt l l bean really? Yeah, we were just talking about the bean man I'm from freeport main. So I grew up less than a mile from the store Just walking around wearing duck boots the whole time, you know, I didn't buy the boots But we had everything else was bean. I mean I would buy a new backpack every couple of years for school from l l bean You have a very l l bean stature you It was it's one of those things I didn't know I didn't think it was cool because we lived there It was it really was no it was When I was a kid in the 80s, it was very cool. I agree dude. I did not think it was cool

No, it was maybe in the 80s and then like for people like when I hit the 90s You were like that was like what your door like the dorky dad Any bower started to take over dorky dad stuff. Yeah, but now uh, they've I guess moved a little bit more towards kind of being somewhat acceptable And I start I don't wear I wear them unironically now Yeah, where they're clothing, uh, because it's like all I want to look like and is that new Is that brand new got it at chris christmastime? Have you washed it? No So is that something that you would wash or you would dry clean only guy? I wash it because you strict me as a dry clean only

No Doesn't he gotta read the tag I play it by the book maybe Yeah, dry cleaning is expensive. It's super expensive. It is for laundry. What are you guys doing? You drop off? You're obviously both new york. You live in new york. Do you drop off? You do it in the building? What are you? You probably got it in the he's got it in the you got it in the unit right in the apartment Yeah, he's got people making fresh l l bean shirts I got my I have a laundry on the floor. Oh, that's which that might as well be in the apartment

That's all right. So I would argue that it might as well be in the basement It's not like you have to because you know how I don't know doing laundry requires mustering up energy to do it the most And when I finally have that fucking sack of santa's gifts over my shoulder head and over to the laundry machine And if there's somebody already doing it, I might not do it for four more days Yeah, how many how many wash and drys are on your floor? There's only one of each but there's only three There's only three units on the floor. Okay, and each floor has their own washer dryer Will you ever get other people this is it? Will you ever get other people going to another floor to do their laundry? No, it's always always your floor

But some of the people on the floor will just leave their shit in there for a bit Yeah, but since it's not it's like not that populated It doesn't end up being a problem, but it sucks in unit would be significantly better Will you do the trash move of taking somebody's wet laundry out of the washer and put it in the dryer? I won't do it. I know you would I would not I give you like three or four five minutes tops. Yeah, then it's getting it's it's getting pulled I think I did it in college once Because we used to have you know, it was like communal sure and there'd be people who just leave it for forever

And you wouldn't have any so I would take it out and put it on top and then and and then put my stuff in And you got a machine in the in the house, right? Yeah, nice Dude, the the guy in my floor Left his stuff in the dryer and my stuff was in the washer and I went back three or four times He did not take it out. I decided I'm gonna fold it for him What folded it put it on top of the machine. He comes in while I'm doing it brown. He just thinks you're a creep Hey, buddy, get off my underwear sniffing his boxers. Dude, I'm holding his fucking bloomers, dude And he goes and he looks at me. I'm like, oh, I figure we're both guys

I didn't know what else to say And then I was like, I'm never going through that again. What did he say? How dare you assume my gender? It's kind of quiet to begin with so it was going to be awkward just seeing him So like he probably wrote the landlord dude. That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard in my life My girlfriend I told her this story. She ran in bed and put a pillow over her face Yeah, that's very you can't do that to a girl How bad would that be you can't get caught doing it to a girl Would you was the move to be like passive aggressive like fuck you or you just felt bad

I don't want to leave his fresh clean clothes to get wrinkled I'm like, dude. Why am I touching your shit? And here's the answer. I wasn't being passive aggressive I just was like my shit was sitting in the washer rotting and I was like, all right, enough's enough I try to be cool about it. I think we're cool. I don't know. I'm not trying to have a Hatfield McCoy situation Yeah, I'm just trying to chill dude. You know what I mean? I don't need any trouble Are you currently in any beefs with a neighbor? You're you're a prideful man. You've argue with he's a fucking trouble maker He's a beefers I'm a beef man. And did you knock off that block in the lane shit? Are you still doing that? No, I haven't done in a while

That went viral. Yeah, you know what I did do though. You're gonna get shot I know but he looks like a guy if I got it I'd be willing to if you are willing to fight and get out and saw him. I'd be like, all right It's like he's the guy you don't want to be in the car size-wise. You're a nice guy But I'm just saying the people though that are getting out of the car To fight me will have weapons. Yeah, that's true. But I don't have weapons Can't be doing that shit out in brooklyn But you know what I did get as a weapon against all of this for me to keep doing it is I got one of those stickers that says

baby on board so that They'll see that and they'll be like, well, I'm not gonna go beat up this father I'm not gonna kill this dad. I don't want to beat him up in front of his newborn And in fact, I didn't I wouldn't even want to get two car seats in the back It doesn't even say baby on board. It says princess on board He just mean you yeah, so he was like, hey princess get out of the car. I figured that would appeal more to the latinos On my way to a kinsen year on the back of the back of the car. That's all right

What's the uh, what's the vacation plan? Do you boys got anything coming up? You like to hop knob jump around the world? Well, he His vacations aren't I mean you do make but you do like you were just literally in where are you iraq or afghanistan That was recent. Well, it was in september. So recent dude. If you've ever been to afghanistan, that's That classifies as recently, yeah That's why am I not a vacation For sure you were filming it sort of is no, but I mean it ultimately is it's like a trip Girlfriend always says there's a difference between a trip and a vacation. I agree with that. Yes not relaxing at all

Obviously, uh, but was obviously fun. I think it's a war torn country Yeah, that's true. Go to port of iarta like a normal person and it's still a little, uh, you know prickly However, there is technically no actual war occurring. So Theoretically it is probably say it's safer to drive around there. You still get your fucking fingernails pulled out Yeah, well not not by the taliban though Because they're you know, you're either a visitor now and they They are happy that there are visitors. So they treat you really well. They're not scope. What do you mean? You're an american? You're you're an able-bodied war

Eligible americans, so they're not looking at you like you're working for the company. They make sure they're in camouflage, dude He's over there getting drunk with people with falcons. What are you talking about? Imagine showing up to an army recruiting office and being like i'm a ameligible for war You said that like it was the patriot, dude No, so they they kind of like make sure to cross off that possibility when they first encounter you which is not fun You're greeted with suspicion and you're kind of always worried about how that might go But once they find out that you're a visitor, they're like, hey, you know, you're a guest in our country Let us know if you need anything, but they also will probably force you to hang out

for a while Which blows and sometimes that will turn into having to leave your plans and go far away with them Yeah, we're gonna give me an example and be held against your will. So like literally I've talked about this on our pod It's worth it briefly Check it out. Oops the podcast the boys, you know, we're trying to get to your level of one of these days, you know Uh, but anyway, so usually what happens is they look at your passport They're so excited that you're an american and that you're visiting and then they're like, yeah, they got another one

You're in a fucking cage. That's step one. What happened to britney griner. What are you doing? It's a different situation. Go to miami You're only doing coke. What's wrong with you different situation? However, whatever So they they biggest get out of the car step that's like step two you get out of the car They've made they take pictures of you. Uh, they don't let you do it with your phone. You're like broke. Come on Yeah, drop me that That's a flex on the gram who's hanging out with terrorists Then they're like you guys should come become muslims. Let's go and and usually you can be like, no, dude Sorry, like we got to go do something. They're like, okay. Like what do you got to do and you're like

Stuff and they're like, oh good. Who's communicating this? We have a guy with us like a guide So they're translating for us the Taliban guys don't really speak english So we we met one or two that did but 95 know english that we met and then they dropped out of their liberal arts applications Before their fluency My cousin goes to NYU So at the very least they are like polite and hospitable to foreign travelers Including women. They don't treat like women foreigners the way they treat their own women

You know, which is its own problem. Obviously. Um, this is in no way a Taliban like a me vouching for the Taliban I don't know I have to make that clear, you know, I mean tibum keep an eye on this one. They might have turned them Step three, dude, they will make you he starts making weird finger signs Take them out. Exactly. Step three. They will make you drive to meet the leadership Of the local area. They'll be like, you got Scientology. They'll be like, you got to meet the guy You got to meet the command. You got to meet Tony's awesome And we'll be like no, no, no, but in this one particular scenario

They're like, no, you you have to and our guide was like we gotta go and I was like, fuck So now we're driving like 45 minutes with one of their guys in the car We get to the compound and these aren't like you're not on the turnpike These are like rough looking roads, right? Depends. No, there were this one in particular was paved But a lot of the times there are some bad roads like the most dangerous thing I did I drove through what is considered to be the shittiest tunnel on the planet Uh, it's six miles long. No ventilation potholes giant trucks like people die from carbon monoxide poisoning in there So that was scary. That was scarier than this story

But however, all right, we get to the Taliban headquarters The commander basically just forces us to chill there for like a while a couple hours of drinking tea We don't know what's going on. No booze, right? There's no booze in the whole country Unless there's like some sort of weird smuggling if you ask somebody for a drink They'd look at you look you're a fucking nuts. Okay, even like non time going on. I think I think see Are they see me at this little swarie? So they're like, sorry, we didn't know you were coming But when on the drive back you're coming back over and we'll make you dinner and we're like fuck like Uh, the guide's showing in my videos of my stand-up. He's looking at it being like pretending

He knows what he's looking at. Yeah. Oh, yes Had no fucking idea Then they I realized why it's taken so long one of the guys who had padded us down the drive It comes in the room with all our luggage throws it on the ground. He's like search Let's search you and I'm like, I thought we're friends. He's like we are So that's why you're gonna search yourself and show us all your shit. I was like, okay, dude So I'm like showing them underwear socks. I'm like, this is an iPad had a bunch of money in it But they don't know about an iPad covers. They weren't like open the case

They just suckers but had money scattered for this kind of occasion They end up finding a huge envelope of cash, you know, not the fucking yeah, but like is it afghani cash? No, us hundreds new new issue hundreds only. That's the only thing that you can exchange there Really, so they find like what are we talking like five grand five grand you had five grand more than that But what are you doing? Dude, you need it. You need it like first. I have to pay the guides I have to do this that then you need like emergency funds, you know, there's no way to take our money We're going afghani

Get the fuck out of here. I'll set you up. I'll set you up And you guys will fit right in dude. Once you put the clothes on everybody looks like they're afghani. He would look like he's afghani I'm not even gentle enough. I wouldn't look like I was afghani. Not joking on my story. I are on my instagram I have I did like a quick video. He's with an LLB in burka There's a little girl who looks like she's related to him in the video. I don't know like anyway So then they find they end up finding money They count it on video to prove that they're not taking any and then they ask me once the camera's off for a bride Like what are they like half? So the problem is I'm I'm thinking it's gonna be half or all of it and they just asked me for 100

Absolutely, there you go. Sure. That's all you want. Yeah, I'm like I'm out of here That was it. That was some of that non bread too. We were out of here That was the worst and then they were all embarrassed and shit that that they had taken our money So they like wouldn't look at us after it was weird as fuck, dude Uh, and that was like the shittiest Sting you didn't you didn't talk you didn't tell the part about how when you got to the house They had tons of oh, dude, like yeah, like we're talking. It's the talent. Remember I remember he laid their guns down. Remember the gun that val kilmer has in heat like that like gatling guns sort of like

Think they have those in the room that I'm in like two hands required to mount on the back of a pickup truck They all drive toyota 4 runners. Sure And they will just fucking mow you down and dude apparently they are all just marksmen Like they were telling us these stories about guys that were just up on mountaintops like picking people off without Like a thing like a scope or anything like these guys are like career soldiers. It's all they know. So there's probably a hundred Guns in this room and like all semi-automatic weapons like very fucking intimidating and the guy's like, oh, he's down here some tea You know, uh super scary panicking it all during this a little bit, but I got my poker face on

I'm I'm like You know, I call Yeah, and then there of course they're asking you like how you feel about the taliban. You just got a fucking line Be like, I love the taliban Yikes, but all good. I would say now that all is said that's said and done like we ended up starting this like little school over there Which is a really nice thing. I did see that very well. You did. Yeah, so now we're figuring out how to send money That's how to become a taliban So dude, this is the problem. No, no, so it's like not a taliban affiliated school

We've gotten local permits from them though. He started the school and I'm like, I'm shitting on it. Of course. It's a good cause That's the squad. That's the football team. Yeah. No, I didn't mean to hijack this episode like This is commercial vessel But my biggest fear now is who so we have this like law class helping us Uh, like figure out how to send money. Wait, who started this school? Me and like these local guys from so like the low I met with all the local teachers in this village and like Our guide was from the village. So he like arranged it and we had this like Round table discussion for like an entire day about the plan. It was like crazy. It was like a game of thrones ask

gathering of the local Tribes, you know, wow But now so the law class just responded to an email from us being like, hey guys Please stop sending money to afghanistan. Yeah, dude until we further review What you're allowed to do We just want to make sure you're not in violation of any crimes because you could face serious criminal penalties Yeah, dude, the FBI is gonna show up at your fucking house. I think it will be fine, dude. I mean we use fucking western union like Yeah, that's how criminals will maunder their money, dude. I know but I don't think that's for drug dealers and dirt bags

It's all good. We sent unmarked bills But i'm not sending it to anybody doing anything bad and there are like limits that western union has in place Hopefully that are in in line with these international laws, right? And you're trust in western union. Have you ever seen the people that use that? It's the only way to do it. It's the only way to do it Chex cashed aki, dude Apparently apparently the uniform at this school is all these kids wear these vests that have big pockets And we just had to dress the entire class Get out of there. Yeah, would you do something like that? Would you go over there?

Um, I know you're an adventurous guy. I've done. I also know you're a goddamn america. He went to china I've done a lot of adventure probably for real. Oh, see now. He's ratting people out. Look at this one He's just crazy. Tommy bastard over here. I mean between the two of you. We got a fucking incel and a fucking commie bag Holy shit I uh, I'm at a point in my life where no, I I don't like a hawaii guy get to feed up some white saiyan I feel like if you showed up if you showed up in afghanistan, they would assume you're a fucking CIA uh, maybe and and and I think that like for me an adventure now would be like go to japan or Maybe south america. Yeah, not he he you you have a true

Fearlessness death wish and I He's presented it in a lot of ways where I'm convinced. It's not it's not reckless. I pitch it to him every time If either he passes fairly fairly formally. Yeah, we had dinner For your engagement. Yeah, and I pitched the iraq idea. I was able to sort of sell you guys on it Which was good afghanistan was a more difficult hurdle afghanistan There were there were we you had friends I don't think you knew about who were contacting me and being like we need to talk them out of this Is ricky one of them? Yeah, that's crazy. There were people there were people that we were like we don't want you to go

Yeah, yeah, and I appreciate that concern to be honest. You know good friends. I I appreciate them looking out for me, but I believe in my mission, dude Which is what I think that like, you know, these risks that we think are so risky are not as risky as we fucking think Yeah, you can end up lots off abroad. You're fucking But he does have a line Yeah, I do he has a you you you have a place is you won't won't go. I try no active war zones Uh, that's pretty much it was That fucking green piece dude that in Jacksonville won't go near it

He said to me that uh mogadishu in in samalia is you know, you have to hire wonderful this time of year Is a nice speech you have to hire an army you have to hire an army You have to hire like 20 dudes with guns to protect you to go anywhere, but it's like 1200 bucks a day Did you go there? No, I was scouting it. I don't think I would go there. This is all for videos Uh for videos, but I'd like to just go also the video to be honest allows me to justify doing it I would love to do it. Anyway, the video I enjoy doing those as well But I'd like to just go also like if I wasn't making a video it wouldn't stop me from going Dude do a reaction video eat like the old 96 or in some place

fight a kangaroo Get views a different way man These things aren't even generating that many views That's the shittiest part about all this They're not doing very well. I'll be honest. I'm really trying to build up the channel. Let's not go into well One of these places are gonna keep you and you're gonna become their simple jack I would really hate that dude And you come back and it's supposed to be this triumphant moment

But too much life has gone by. Yeah, and you just never settle back in fully Yeah, like Tom Hanks and cast away. Jesus Christ. You miss your life in captivity Stockholm syndrome Hate to say it dude. The show was sponsored by better help. Yes, it is. Let's talk about that better help Love that better help baby. I'm a client myself. Yes, you are crazy as they come this one. You shut up I'll get you gang. We all got things going on. God knows I do And that's a better way to get that off your chest is to talk to somebody about it And they have specialists that you might not have in your hometown and you can do it from the cover to your own home

Oh, yeah, baby Better help is a therapy option that is convenient flexible affordable and entirely done online You fill out a brief questionnaire you get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time at no additional charge It's easy busy, baby. Uh, like I said, I use it. It's fantastic The the communication is easy. They have live chats. They have they have live sessions. You can just do messages Whatever you want. It's easy peasy. I highly recommend talk therapy It is a game changer if you're struggling with something out there and baby like the big man said We all are if you want to if you want to live a more empowered life therapy can get you there

Visit better help dot com slash garbage today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help H e lp dot com slash garbage do we Can't but talk about true classics Classics I've been seeing them ads all over instagram everywhere. They're great. I've Weighted out of them a little bit. They only go up to 3x. Uh-huh, but it's still a good product Yes, just because my fat ass can't fit into it anymore. I'm wearing one right now. They're fantastic. Is that what that is? This is an old one too. This one's this one's got about 300 washes on her too And they hold up. They're great. If you see me wearing a tee, I'm a true classics man

They got a nice cut in the shoulders. They make you feel good They're a little wider around the belly area because I like a nice beverage. You know what I mean That's what you need. Um, they're fantastic. Uh It's a new year new you like I said, I love them. They're fantastic. I order I try to keep them fresh You got to cycle in new ones and you get like a three pack with they with the promo code garbage You save a you know a couple of few shekels Sure And then you just constantly working them in you throw one out you get a new one in you know what I mean

Do that whole three x take a look too. Yeah, they're for the big boys. Yeah, you know bigger boys bulky guys Husky kids that used to be husky now are true classics. I wear them around the house. I just can't wear them out Sure. You got one on each leg You got 25 off at true classics.com slash garbage get free shipping included on purchases over 100 bucks That's 25 off at true classic.com slash garbage Santa won't be the only one slaying. Thanks to true Classics now back to the show back to the show. That's all right I mean, that's a jump dude. Yeah, that's why I forgot. I did know that and I forgot about it

Did you see any of our gear over there? Do you see any black cocks or any that shit? There's a couple like they keep sort of like tanks that they've destroyed on the side of the road for to like As a thing of might Uh, there's a couple humvees like active humvees, but for the most part you don't see that much the car choice Toyota Corolla from an older one too And any nice car like a like a land cruiser or a four-runner taliban guys driving that Damn yikes. Yeah, dude crazy fucking wild. You should do a spin-off. Are you the taliban? Only on patreon.com

All right, that's crazy. Holy shit. All right, let's get into some fucking garbage here Let's do it. I don't like francis. Let me see your passport. He's hot. No, I'm I I love this guy over here I was just do your duty for your country I'm trying to choke this get out and sleep where where his trip would fit on your guy's scale of garbage It's just it's just insane. It's just it's like off. It's not even gone. It's just like where'd you sleep? Did you guys go back to the city like my mom?

I just sat was a guy who was in afghan guest houses They're basically hotels, but they call them guest houses and who set the who initially set this up for you tour guide It's not like perillo tours. No, but I'm in this facebook group I'm in this facebook group that you need to apply to get into and it like basically asked you like how many places If you've been it like you get interviewed basically and then there's access to all these kind of tour guides and these I mean that is kind of trash if you're booking your Your vacations on facebook groups You want to hear the most recent group that I had to interview for to join on facebook was

It was it was the grenich kinetic hit furniture sale Where you have to live in grenich kinetic it and you get these moms who are like we bought an entire living room of Restoration hardware couches only to have me realize that's not the vibe I was going for so I gotta make space because now we're going with this other stuff Would anyone like to buy this 16,000 sectional 400 bucks? Just come take it. Just come take it I had to interview to get into that group. Are you I'm waiting How did you how did you juke the system somebody told me you change your you change your all of your facebook information to say that You live in grenich and that's it

And then you have to like kind of prove that you live in grenich And that you're not just a furniture hunter quick photoshop. Yeah, and this is also that's my kind of because you want this kind of furniture Uh, we're you know, we're looking for some like coffee tables and some like she go to west elmer cb2 or something That's that's dude. I'm telling you you can get way cheaper than what those stores sell in some of these facebook marketplace groups But if you go to like the really elite neighborhoods and can kind of fudge your way in and they don't really care about the cash They're like, hey, that's that's actually a good loop. That's very smart. Take this off. That's real. That's top tier dirt bag Shit Boncos

This is like a whole episode of our podcast that we're subscribing fucking crazy Fuck Julia's embedded with the Taliban and you're like, I'm looking for end tables in Connecticut Where are you going next? No, we're like, I don't have anything like that planned at the moment. I'm like in the weeds editing all this shit Uh, for now, it's just like road comedy stuff and a bunch of fucking weddings. Okay What about you? You got anything on the books for the summer you get out or you go you're a ski or you go You going out west or anything? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to tell you ride colorado to ski. There you go

My favorite place to go so awesome. Uh, and then you ski your snowboard ski ski. Yeah Really? Yeah snowboarding trashy. Yeah Really? Yeah, he's wearing l l b and you think he's yeah, what do you got k2's? What are your snowboards? There are I think there are still three mountains in the united states that are skiing only It's alta the only ones he goes to Deer valley both in utah alta and deer valley and then there's one I think it's mad river glenn in like new hampshire or something like that

And uh, you don't see any Snowboarding only mountains. No, no because they would just be a disgrace. I mean it'd be Be a drug fuel A bunch of guys wearing blue jeans monster energy drink Yeah, and can you handle the the rough stuff? Can you do like the double black diamonds or whatever? It's called I grew up skiing in Maine. It was like, you know, you'd have 20 below wind chill Just pure ice all the snow's broke blown off the mountain. Huh you'd be out there being like this is fun Let's do another lap. Yeah hitting the moguls. You're at their fucking living. I gotta do something

Get on that facebook. Why don't I know what the hell is going on? Take care of that infection on your nose All right before you try extreme sports. It hurts so bad Um CPAP scars CPAP scars man. It's fucking jammed up I was sick last week and I slept for like 14 hours and I guess it was like rubbing up against my My nose and the fucking just got infected that are in the south end of an apol. I put put everything on it I treated it for everything. Hey, he came up. Hey, man. I swear to god. It's my CPAP machine I put I put a breather on and I put neosporum on and I put cortisone on it. Nothing worked

So I'm going to the derm tomorrow. I'll get it looked at Go see dr. Chicole. He'll straighten me out He's making meatballs while he's talking to me Um, all right, let's hop into some fucking Gabbage questions here guys as you know when you sign up for the patreon We were answer your garbage question on the air. It's just the best way to do it speaking of doctors Uh, this is from hosay ten dollar homie never had one read Is it garbage if your oral surgeon is connected to a jimmy johns?

Which it shouldn't because it's but if it is you do qualify your doctor by what it's next to i'm sure Right, I'd say not necessarily dude. It might just be one of those commercial strips jimmy johns is a good tenant Uh, it's true. They are they are an anchor store. Probably it's a big retail channel Corporate money probably paid a few months up front now. Just trashy as it might seem either one of you guys have braces I did you did. Mm-hmm. Where was your doctor at? Was it in a house? No, really it was in one of those. I don't worth it. Don't do that ours. Yeah, dr. Sort of professional centers. I don't know what you'd call it sure it to drive in everything look exactly the same they're like real estate offices and

A dermatologist probably I don't know professional buildings big in the Philly burbs for it to be connected to a house I'd never had braces, but I went once and it was in a house. Yeah It's real real weird vibe. I remember my our guy would have his dog running around. I had like six. I'm like this can't be good Like the fucking you got that thing out stuck over the dander falling in there. You guys both had him I didn't have my had the uh the appliance that goes on the top where it like cranks. It's like a jaw Headgear. Oh, no, it's a palette expander palette expander. Yeah, I remember I could feel my head I could feel my bone moving when they did it I had him for six years because I was so bad with them

Oh, I never fucking wore my rubber bands Because I have a overbite and so they took the rubber the hooks and rubber bands out and they put in these things called jasper jumpers Which were like sounds like a firecracker Which sounds like bait Take a bucket of jasper jumpers and uh big man, what do you want? Hey, what are they biting on big guy, huh? You want to take one of those jasper jumpers those are really feeding on those they went the other way and they go for blue fit get them to jasper They would push my jaw out, but they were on they were on like this little track in my mouth

They were it was like thick cable It was fucking brutal, man. If I open my mouth too quick, it would like catch It was I wrestled with that shit for fucking four years in high school was brutal And now my teeth are still on the junkyard, you know the jimmy johns thing the People I know have started as their business buying franchises of these fast food chains Yeah, and like you get emailed all the time start with like one burger king or something like that And then they'll add like two subways or whatever they get to sense of the business. It's not easy It's all it's also takes a lot of money

It takes a lot of a million dollars and and and getting the right to buy one of the franchises is hard Like they don't just give you they're not like hey go ahead build a burger king or whatever Got some facebook group Yeah, it's a little more vigorous this guy this guy said, you know That the heart they were like what's the hardest thing for you and he said that um, it's it's staffing Because like a lot of the time, you know Like a lot of days You'll get a call from like the manager of the burger king being like we have no one to call 80 percent of the staff didn't come

We've nobody here and he has to like call people and be like where are you and they'll be like Oh, I'm sorry. I'm in prison again. Yeah, or like I'm going to rehab or like I have, you know, all kinds of And so just like it's it's impossible to staff and he's had to go and like work the register Yeah, my brother and my brother and cousin ran Duncan donuts like his like my uncle bought them and my Brother and my cousin managed them. They were like, yeah, we just ended up having to work at Dunkin Donuts Like you just have to open and close because no one wanted to do it Like you just spent like nine hours a day at fucking Dunkin Donuts. I had no idea They thought they were gonna be like, you know

Executive fat cats, you know, we're just employees at Dunkin Donuts. What are you doing investment-wise? I'm sure you dabble in some things. You know, I have been away I've been made aware that I'm not smart when it comes to investing really You play the market as they say? No, I you know, I just get caught up in shit. Like I That's why I kind of invest in it. I just put some money in crypto myself What are you holding? I got SUK you and it doubled overnight. I got nothing anymore. I dumped it all You know for a pretty significant loss At least I got something, you know, that loss is a write-off. Yeah, it is. Do you have an IRA?

Yeah, I do. See? Yeah, kids are right. I haven't I but it's not it's not substantial It's not like I couldn't I couldn't retire on it yet. Okay. Um, that was all that LLB No, exactly. Well, I have to remain in furniture for a little while. I don't know. I mean I No, I guess I just have learned that You know having cash Is never like the worst thing in the world. Okay having something and you're having money in your checking account Is never bad. Like, you know, what Grant Cardone says, you know that guy He's telling everybody don't buy a house. I don't know. Is it the guy with the gray hair? Yeah, that guy's got a crash

He's always cursing on like, uh Like talk shows and stuff like that. He's the kind of guy. He's like never buy a house. Just get your money Come on shipmeth buy something. Yeah. Yeah So I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I I try to just just not be stupid But I I also desire things a lot, you know, I get swept up in things that other people want fads Yeah, like what drop one dude? I could I could trace. I've said this to g before I could trace my entire life I could answer this for you. I could trace my entire life from one fad that I was hooked on to the next starting with like

Beanie babies and then pokemon cards and then going into like you got into the charts. Oh dude real lady killer I bet Anything skateboarding Skateboarding and then on to like collecting dvds for some reason Sneakers yeah sneakers It was pretty good. Then I then I then you start the the older I remember I remember being younger Wait, hold on. You had beanie babies. Of course. How old were you around eight? Oh, all right Seven not not an adult collector. I'm saying my whole life

I could it was just one thing for something that you were part of for a year Like I have to have I had the magazines with like the oh like the dark blue peanut. Yeah, the beanie baby magazine That was like Cool kids over here Luckily, you know, when I wanted the talibans turning them kids disillusioned. I didn't play with them I didn't play with the beach Did you play with action figures when you were a kid? Not really when I was like five maybe I had I had some star wars action figures that I really liked

I did and I'll tell you what mine. This is a very garbage thing. Mine were all secondhand Like I had I had action figures that were cool in the 80s. They were I had like he-man And like we bought them from tag sales stuff you could watch Correct that was like currently really bought them from tag sales tag sales. Like well, there's another word for it. I'm sure What are you guys called garage sale? Okay, so like on somebody on their fucking front lawn is selling their old shit I would get all those that's where you would get your toys So I'd have like Skeletor and like shit from the 80s that was like no longer even in syndication really Yeah

I got some I don't want to like throw my parents under the bus I did have some current ones like they got me some like ghost busters and some like, you know I mean, but a lot of the time we grabbed I don't even think that was current when you were You're playing you're playing with the six million dollar man. I had the Dan Akroy I Never got the bill Murray, but uh That was hard to find All right, let's see here is it garbage to play the same game movie or show on multiple TVs in the house for surround sound

It never sinks up. I gotta respect it man. It really fills out the room. I'm sure I gotta give it to you It never sinks up That's like an idiot Suvant. Yeah Like just buy speakers, dude. Why you have to you need more TVs In order to yeah, I guess you have to have every TV. That makes a I guess it makes sense to me though Right no because it doesn't sink up because the TV is always like a second behind the other one Yeah, and also not for nothing. Why would you have two TVs in the same room? No different rooms Okay, but then then you're then you're getting an

Oh, he's clearly not the sharpest tool in the shed. All right He's not a beanie baby collector give him a break will you But theoretically this guy's watching it on cable in which case it would sink up. That's what I'm saying. Yes. Yeah Oh I mean fucking throw down in every room at my parents house if you put something on downstairs and something on upstairs It's the same cable thing the one downstairs is a little bit behind interesting. Yeah, Toby are the tech guy shaking his head Yeah, that makes sense Yeah, there you go

Did you get caught up in the surround sound shit? Did you have speakers and all that stuff? Uh, well, do you have a speaker behind the couch? Now You do now I do you have that now. Yeah, I didn't I didn't before do you have a sound system? Which is we we got sonos What's sonos sonos is awesome Sonos is great. I'm glad you brought that up fully. Toby click that name. Yeah Uh, no, they're there. It's like, uh It's really well, yeah, but they they make you know, you can wire your whole house with it

So like we have a bluetooth one in this in the uh kitchen Okay, or whatever for music and then you have we have a soundbar And some of the some of the behind speakers here on the show the soundbar Toby got them for us for christmas and I gave mine away and I think he threw his out Jesus christ Why is it sucked? Damn The one thing I worry about with the soundbar living in new york is that the bass will make your life difficult with your neighbors and shit

However, they do not make like flat screen tv's with loud enough speakers. So like I find myself turning my ship to 100 all the time Which is annoying. Uh-huh. I agree. I agree. Once you get a decent Surround system, you're never gonna go back. You realize what you're missing out. Yeah, and let me tell you something This is the crazy part when you have the the subwoofer going if you ever watch NBA Game time or mba the one with charles barkley and kenny and whatnot when shack speaks It scares the dogs off the couch From the subwoofer his voice and his voice alone. That's crazy. I'm kidding. It's just the whole thing rumbles. It's nuts That's absurd

That's crazy. Shout out to jack. Yeah legend. He's an investor. Yeah, he buys all those uh fast food franchises It's a huge investor in fast food. I think at that point when you can buy like a bunch of them And you're like you're not gonna see shack dropping fries, you know, you know, you know What he does it's really smart to just to get a just to get some free shit He did this when I was waiting tables at bear burger Came in with like a squad full of people like 20 people comes in sits down Brings over the manager. He's like i'm thinking about You know investing in buying a bear burger. Everything's fucking free. Wow all to all the burgers

I don't know if he's doing that for free food. He knows what that guy makes more money Then as he's ordering then we make an he knows what he's doing And also he's not gonna go to the guy the waiter and be like, hey, I'm thinking about buying one of these I'm telling you that's exactly what happened. I was there. I don't know. I'm telling you you've never fipped on it We gotta see a shack. Let's pull up shacks portfolio. See if he owns any bear burgers. He doesn't he doesn't. Yeah, exactly He walked away. I'm saying he's been refreshing it ever since This fucking is gone. We said you and jack worked together bad financials bad financials Lot overhead lot overhead

Sweet potato fries are all right though. The place is great. Yeah, he made all he made a shit ton of money in the google IPO Really shack. Yeah, he was playing. He was in a lobby. He tells the story. He was like and I think it was google He was in a lobby Uh playing with this kid like a like a real nice hotel lobby and this kid came up and they were just playing together or whatever Like he was waiting. He had like 15 minutes to kill and then this that hit the kids dad came over was like, hey, man Thanks a lot for doing that. I was whatever whatever And he's like, you know, if you and he gave him the tip. He was like a big exact He's like, hey, we're gonna go, you know, we're going public on this date or whatever if you can get it

So they like he got in yeah, I figured you'd be getting tips from your from your squad all the time Uh, I don't I don't know you're supposed to be on the inside people people aren't hitting me up They're hitting up like venture capital firms Okay, you know what I mean the people that I know are like they don't they don't want 10 grand for me That's not what they need Let's see if the comedians got 80 bucks on them. I got a great opportunity for you What do you mean you won't take a mark maguire rookie car? Did you tell them about the beanie babies?

Oh They they need and it's funny I earlier in my life There was one that I I kind of missed on where I did it was that it was like a 10 grand thing What was the company it's called forto They make these like espresso shots that you can buy 7 11 in little plastic cups And you could have got in for 10 g. Yeah 10 g's and like I didn't I was like this is these I tried them Didn't really like them. I was like, I don't I don't know and now they're in like every 7 11 Really? Yeah, I want something. How much would you somebody hit me up with something?

I mean you assume the problem with that is like it's it's never as crazy as you think because they'll do a round of Fundraising and you get in for your 10 grand and you get whatever like 0.01 percent of the company And then they do another round at a new valuation as they're growing and the only way to maintain your stake is to now reinvest That's it to at at the new valuation to maintain your original position. If not, you get diluted You still make good money, but it's never like oh, I bought one percent of the company and then 10 years later And they're the company's worth a billion dollars. I get one percent. It's not like that That's what happened to the kid at facebook, right the one that got screwed Andrew Garfield's character

Uh, so he had 30 percent of facebook as as basically a handshake deal Because he was cfo and had invested in his own money. Uh-huh and then They had they had given him paperwork as a new restructuring under the guise of he thought they were his lawyers Well, he thought they were friends. He thought mark zuckerberg was his friend and and without reading the fine print They diluted his shares But did not dilute the shares of any other early investors. Damn savage But then they settled and he made over a billion on the settle See me in your facebook group

This one's just funny. This is thomas ever go through a ray gay phase Who's ray gay? What? Oh ray gay. You thought it was a ray gay You know my boy ray gay? Ray jay's gay brother Uh, I did for sure when you find out about bob marley, you're like I got as a kid. You're like I gotta go Yeah, I mean it's it's almost like it's almost like hard to put bob marley in some sort of like ray gay He's because I think he's an enduring

Amazing musician. Yeah, that was the genre if you went beyond bob marley and got into like If you got in the weeds of a local ray gay, you might have been bunny fergusson or whoever it was Yeah, I that was that was class. He was just lumped in with classic rock to me who Bob marley bob marley. Yeah when I started getting into Classic rock when I was probably in seventh or eighth grade was steve miller band first then like zeppelin pink floyd the doors Uh, and then bob marley was thrown in there bob marley's greatest hits But yeah beyond that get the fuck out of here. You wasn't a wacky shit

I used to I had a little bit of a reggae phase not as hard as some of my peers But I can I could throw some names at you boozoo band time Barrington levy I got some stages that always got dreadlocks In general not my favorite genre. I do listen to some crazy shit. You do I see you posting shit and I'm like where like Yeah, I like smoking doobies. I guess I don't know. I like a lot of like like latin trap music too latin trap music Julio is the guy who's you're a man of very very many different tastes when you when you see that a Some someone's musician has been killed and you don't know who they are you'll go to his instagram and he's got like

That's how that's how present he is with music It's also you two are very funny dynamic because like, you know, you're obviously all right pita winston thurington clemens or someone You come from like, uh, you know the ivy league background and everything like you're one person You're different, but you can operate in the same circles. He can My friend you you you can walk in both worlds pretty seamlessly. Thank you And I think like, you know, you can put him at a party in the hamptons. Yeah You're also like you got enough dirt under your fingernails, but you're also very cool And you're like, hey, do you hear this music and you know, france's friends are like, what the fuck?

This guy's all right for the for what it's worth. I can operate in that in the lower world. I just choose not to I don't like it Thanksgiving I can get the dirt under my fingernails and you're like, wow you guys drinking some fun stuff today Was that jungle juice in the cooler? Man, show me a glass But I don't go there Eyes I don't like because you wouldn't be able to go back to your other circles I just I don't have enough to talk about with those people. They don't they're not reading. I don't

It's it's we run out of road pretty quickly Just picture you and another guy just staring at each other You wear shirts me too, man. Yeah, you ever make a bomb? Are you reading something right now you're reading a book right now? I am. Yeah, what are you reading? Hold on a second. Is it fiction or nonfiction fiction fiction? Yeah, is it always fiction? No You do a nonfiction. I've probably two two two fictions in one nonfiction It's my sort of run out at the same time. No, no, like I I'll do two back to back I'll read a novel read another novel and then I'll read a cleanses pal

And what are you reading before you go to bed? Yeah, and then in the morning. I like reading in the morning to start my day I'll get I get up early. I wake up really early. What time like 6 30 get up at 6 30. Have a coffee Yeah, do some exercise. I assume. No, what kind of coffee we talking? What are you making it in? We got our own coffee from brooklyn roasting company the oups blend. Yeah It's pretty good coffee company in me. Shout out to the oups blend. It's awesome. Uh, we love the Taliban blend Afghani beans

That's what you're over there brokering. Yeah, that's right. This kid's getting in the age game coffee bean deals Uh, yeah, so I have a coffee and then I sit in a chair and and just sort of watch the sunrise and pat the dogs And read my book for like an hour. It's great. Really easy way into the day And then when are you working out? At 4 to 5 p.m. 5 p.m. Typically until the afternoon. Yeah. Are you having breakfast? Oh, yeah What are you having? Uh, I have the overnight oats still. Oh, that's right. Yeah last time I was on the show kids machine What are you doing? I mean in the morning. Yeah, I just kind of wake up Taking edible

Rick easy when I don't do anything what's left in the bank. I do not I don't I'm not like a routine person Uh, and I'm not saying that proudly like I just am not so it has this pros and cons But I don't need to like relax and ease into the day some days I like to do that But I don't have like a thing like him. I just wake up and shower or whatever and go do my shit I'm sitting on my computer for the record. Um, this routine sort of became more Regular when we got this puppy because the puppy wakes up super. I went through it myself. Yeah, and they it changes It changes everything. Her bladder just sucks. So like, you know, unless if you don't get up with her She's gonna shit and piss on the floor. She's gonna ruin the day and then you're like, all right

So I have to get up and then you're up. You're up at 5 45 6 and you're like, well, I'm not going back to bed So I might as well just do something Is this regardless of what time you go to sleep or do you go to sleep on a regimented schedule every night? Well, we know that the dog's gonna do that. So we're pretty more it just makes us more tired earlier And we end up going to bed at like 10 o'clock. Do you fall asleep easily? Yeah, I know you wake up easily and can't go back to sleep, but you fall asleep easily Yeah, I fall asleep. No problem. And do you regulate your stand-up spots? Like, do you not take spots after a certain time? I have I have been I've tried I've asked the booker. Hey, you know, I can't I don't I prefer

But like until you have a kid It's kind of a pussy thing to be like sure Can you not give me the late spots? But for the most part you're in bed at 10 o'clock every night 10 30 damn that's pretty good. Yeah lights are off. I need a little bit of that in my life. You guys late Night owls depends. Yeah depends on the spots, but definitely if I'm home. No spots 11 I'll probably shut it down or at least I'll be like on the couch like lights out just kind of fucking chill or whatever I'm all over the dogs already walked Uh, but then, you know, if I'm booze or whatever, you know

Tends to be different. I don't have regulated spots Sometimes I get ones at like 132 o'clock and like I'll that might be the only spot that I have And I'll leave it like midnight to go and do it and they come home And then I come home and then I eat something. I'd love a schedule. I'll tell you this as I get older Getting into bed early, man Taking a nice hot shower Especially on the weekend because in the weekend you feel like you don't you don't have to But if you do it on the weekend and you're like up you're in bed early and you're up early

You just have so much more weekend. Yeah more weekend. Yeah, and you use your weekend better You don't have that like hungover anxiety that prevents planning. Oh, you know, you just can't do anything except consume Wow, I've never heard it put any other way. Yeah Here's another thing too. I want to it's all I can do is consume I've been off the booze for about a week. Like I the last time I drank Uh, were we together that was that Saturday that I did that that brooklyn comedy club I had a couple of drinks and then I think I went out to dinner the night before but after that I haven't fucking drank in a while

Man, it really makes a fucking big difference. Yeah, I know I did choice. Sorry. Oh, no What's your drink of choice? Oh, what's my drink of choice? Uh, I'm tequila and sodas. Nice. I like tequila and sodas I like a martini, but I just fucking No way no Sorry, what were you saying? No, uh I know I took I took a bunch of days off too. Maybe like I drank think I once or twice in about 21 days Uh And then I went out this weekend and like and there's just nothing better than like

Fucking saddling up to a bar shot a beer fucking bullshit with the boy. It's like I'm like, oh, this this is what I missed So it's all about I did the same thing. I tried to do like a I tried to do a dry january It quickly became a like damp january Yeah, you're just like making concessions for yourself and the it ended three or four days early I mean definitively ended, you know, where what are you drinking? Negronis? Uh, I do love a negroni I like I like beer. I like good beer. I've really gotten into good beer I posted a picture of the main IP a lunch IP

Yeah, the main beer company. Oh my god. I love them That's also free port main. So that's also that's like within main dudes love main. Yeah, yeah main is a great place I am very happy that I grew up there. Can you're kenny bunkport? Yeah, not far probably like 45 minutes from there The bushes live. Yeah, I've driven by their compound. It's out on like an island, but it's not an island It's like it's just its own Sort of disconnected piece of land, but I mean they've got an armored You know driveway With a house with like a guy and almost like a toll booth guy, but you know, he's strapped, of course

He's not collecting easy There's a great story about how there's a great book by the way, uh, it's called the president No one has ever said that it is my guess He's got taxes for dummies. You better be talking about hustler. I think you guys would like this It's called the president's club and it's it's the caprio in it. If not, I'm out um, it's it's basically like, uh The sort of how how a lot of presidents certainly in the 20th century would even after exiting office Maintain a foothold in the white house and and advise the next presidents and you find out about how, um

Like nixon especially was was so many presidents after nixon would call upon him for foreign policy advice And he would like come back to the white house even though he was disgraced Um and and these people allegedly Yeah like even even presidents that had run against the incumbent and had unseated them specifically clinton unseating bush senior Who you know, you you're basically you're in debates against each other and you've stolen the guy's job, right those two Forged a really strong friendship, which uh, there's a great story in the book about how

clinton would go up to main to the the bush rub compound at in kenny bunkport And they would take the motorboat from the dock in kenny bunkport and bush would be driving it and they'd be going like You know 80 miles an hour 60 miles through hurtling through waves Just the two of them down to portland to get like a lobster roll or something But like tossing around and having a great time. I don't even get their dick sucked It's ultimate shot and beer with the boys Boat ride to get a fucking lobster roll Hell yeah, that's it. That's awesome. That's a hang dude. Yeah

Um, all right, let's see here. I'd like to get you know, france is a dapper guy And that's what julio cleans up quite well Um, this is from cooper Uh, is it garbage or run out of an undershirt and wear a regular t-shirt under a button up for a suit Wait, what's the difference? Like there's a difference between an undershirt and like this t-shirt i'm wearing is an outward t-shirt Really, so he means like, okay. Yeah, like also, what how do you how do both of you feel about the t-shirt under the Under the dread. It's a tough look

It's a very tough look. It's not because you see it. It's not a great move The only way you could justify it, I guess it's such a it's such a thing where You wear it to I think right if it's really hot out to prevent the sweat to try to prevent the sweat But it makes you hot but it makes you hotter. It's a it's a it's a it's a very tight rope You're damned if you do damned if you don't I don't understand what to do a t-shirt. It's the same thing What's an undershirt like one of those hanes? They come in a pack of three Super light light. If you wore that you could see the purple under your shirt. Yeah, they're always white Typically or 500 episodes into this you're 46 years old and we're explaining colors to you at this point

No, I mean I would wear if I would if I could fit into a hanes t-shirt. I would wear a hanes t-shirt No, not outward though. They're like see-through kind of they're really sheer and you have to understand what an undershirt You don't know what an undershirt is They're thinner into an outward like that's a t-shirt you would wear out to a podcast recording But I would wear this under a button down shirt Yeah, you shouldn't we're saying Purple shirt under a white button down, dude If I really want the job, yeah

But what fucking Barney What's the job That you're applying for where they're like Hang on a second. I couldn't help but notice I was told you're supposed to wear gray under a white shirt and then you can't see it No, I mean, I I don't know maybe I would have thought white under a white shirt Yeah, most most most of those undershirts are white. Hmm or you'll get black shirt. So you go no t I don't wear a tee, but that's I'm gonna sound like a douche here

It's usually because the button downs I'm wearing are too tight for me to wear a shirt underneath Do you know what I mean? Yeah, like most of them I'd be I'd be Bulkie who was your suit for your for your wedding. Would you wear suit supply suit supply? They're great. They were great. They're not custom made. No, no, they're off the rack. It's not expensive You got a tailor though, right? Yeah, you got to get it like him. I don't know Yeah, brought in a little in the back tighten her up. I love mine out. Uh, what I What I'll do sometimes because it's tough It depends on the the the white of the shirt because I got chest hair that you then see

Through the shirt if it's a light shirt. Yeah, which is a problem. Yes, right? It's just too much So this is a dirtbag move, but it works and no one you can't tell the difference If you do want to go undershirt cut the sleeves off an undershirt I swear to god, let him know you're fucking party You don't see it if you take your when you take your jacket off you don't see the sleeve It's the same colors you're on and you can't tell because the the seam stops at the seam for the above shirt It's pretty good. See what I'm saying. Like one of those under armor type

And make sure it's one next apes, but hold on a second. Make sure it's a stone cold You're wearing a white button down You're wearing a white button down. Yeah, right and underneath it. You've got a hains Sometimes sure that you've cut the sleeves off because I like to party Can you still see the the neckline from the t-shirt you cut that off? You asked you also cut it off. Are you telling me you vee you vee it too? You're going you're turning a button you're like a fascist man on the outside Rambo on the inside You're like a fashion designer

Taking liberal choices So then you're not wearing a tie No, I am wearing a tie. So but you said you slice up the underwear too I cut the toes off my socks too. Just so I can feel the ground better kids ready to play I mean, it sounds like you're spending a lot of time with some scissors and some shirts And that trimming your chest here would be a lot easier You know how many times I've been in like a hotel room getting ready for a wedding like cutting the neck off a white underskirt That extra layer of protection you people out there know what I'm talking about

I love you the only I also love the idea that you get so skilled at this that hurt for christmas Also a v-neck work. So you don't have to cut the oh, you could yeah, you can buy the v-neck undershirts Yeah, but wouldn't you see that wouldn't you see that under the not necessarily got the collars there? I mean, it's not like a deep. I'm not like it's not like coming down here It just I would never take my jacket off if I had a fucking button up on Keep that on Yeah, I typically keep mine on the daytime outdoor wedding is the thing where you really have to worry You know, I mean, yeah, but that's hot. I I just keep the coat on and let it let it soak up all the sweat

I I just I'm like I'm gonna be hot. I'd rather they not see Agreed. Agreed. Hmm. But for the other the other thing is you know, you're gonna have to probably dry clean your suit anyway And I get a lot more satisfaction knowing that I've fully soiled it I'm getting my money's worth I'm really gonna shit in these pants. I don't know what you guys do back there, but you've got your work cut out You're wearing a suit so stressful. Yeah. Yeah, we've said a bunch on this It's especially as you're a bigger if you know, you know a big guy for a huskier guy the second You're never gonna look as good as the second you put it on

Right. There's a it's a quickly law of diminishing returns. It's like the fuse is lit You got to get in the car. That's gonna the shirt's gonna pull the ring. So as I sit down, it's over Back in the car. Oh, I got smoked. I had a linen suit for our our rehearsal dinner thing our bridal dinner And I I pulled it out of the, you know Plastic wrap from the dry cleaner. It was crisp, you know steamed it Some lady that was working there at the wedding and uh, then we went we went to the rehearsal dinner We got steamer just on hand. She it was like for mostly for like the ladies, you know but but we were

We go into uh, we go into the shuttle to go over to the restaurant And I'm just sitting in the car I get out and someone snaps this photo Which I like posted because I thought it was really cute and all the comments were like, man, you couldn't run a fucking iron over the back And I'm like, I had one on there 10 minutes ago. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The car james you up. Yeah The car really james you up. You gotta stand the whole time. I wish I yeah or just get ready at wherever the place is Yeah, if you know, you know, just take your take it to the wedding reset or the wedding Uh service and just get dressed in the bathroom. Oh like an old school comic. Uh-huh. Yeah, right right before you go on Hey, I just let them. All right. You fucking get ready

Uh, all right, this one's from tim crawl big mcgrawl munro or something. Uh, you ever been the only guy in the room in a suit? Which could be a tough look Interesting because I doubt it's for the reason of like you're the ceo You're either wildly overdressed or you just got out of court. I would assume That's also a comedian thing potentially. What like the guys who only wear suits. Oh, yeah That'll happen to them. Yeah. I remember patty dixon used to be rocking the suit. Yeah, pat Dixon used to rock the suit all the time. I wore a suit one time to gothams new talent bringer, which was really Oh my god. I just didn't know myself yet a suit to a bringer. Yeah, that was not not great

Luckily, everyone was like, I just assumed that he'd come from work I assume he came from his insurance and I'm like, I was kind of hoping to make this my work Dude, I went to a sort of like funeral memorial service for a family member and made the mistake of asking my brother for the dress code That's the that's also that james. Yep. Real bad. I was like, what's dress code? He's like, I don't like business casual I wear a suit. I'm the only person in the suit. Yeah That sucks. You feel like a real asshole You got an interview after this you cannot relax like you're just thinking you're like, is anybody else wearing a tie They're like, oh, mr. City guy

Yeah, I get oh, what do you miss the new yorker? I'm like, yeah trying to upstage the deceased He's in a football jersey What do you think you're better than the dead I went through a brief blazer phase in comedy in philly for about a couple of months The first time I ever saw him ever my uncle had just died and I'd gotten all of his old suits Because I was the only one that fit him In the family that fit him talking about old money suits shout out to my uncle mike Um, yeah, and I would wear his suit coats as blazers with a t-shirt underneath because I was cool

Yeah, he can't be too professional He was out with the sleeves cut off on the jacket He was hosting an open mic that we were about the first time I ever saw him We were hosting he's hosting the open mic at the raven lounge 2009 probably 10. Yep sounds about right and he gets up there. All right, you know Clap it off your host age fully. He goes out. You know, he's really he had the showmanship already Like he was playing up. You know what I mean? He's doing it And he asked the crowd by round of applause. Should I wear the blazer? Should I do no blazer?

For like a three-minute set. He's he's negotiating with the ground whether or not to do a blazer And they're like no blazers like all right, I'll take it off for you Like he was about to really let his hair down and do enough and then they were like blazer You cut the sleeves off that go back to blazer Is the raven lounge the one that's like four stories and it was like on the third floor So I've done that. I've I've done that mike. Yeah, it was it used to be all right I think the building's I think it's closed now the whole the whole establishment friends This is like an honorary filly guy in a way. Yeah, you're going down there for weeknight shows. Yeah

I like it. I like it. I'm going on Wednesday this this Wednesday to do helium and uh, I love going down. It's just like such a close gig It's great. That's a great comedy city to break out all the you know, real rough and tumble crew down there Yeah, I like to see All right, let's do one more then we got to get out of here This is from Luigi F. Baby anybody, you know, where the visor with the hair already built in You always see some dad or uncle on a golf course rocking one of those I think he's the funniest guy in the world. That's great. Do you guys know anybody that wears it to pay?

Anybody in the extended family? Never. I've never seen it. No, I wouldn't know no Do you go to you and you wouldn't be able to wear it in my family? You know, immediately somebody they would Yeah, right to what they make fun behind your back and then as the drinks started going so I'm like, you gotta fucking take that thing off You just gotta let it go. You're scaring the kids. Yeah, dude. I've never seen one. I've seen some pretty bad comeovers Yeah, I'm rocking one these days, but are you rocking a comb over theoretically? I don't think so man. I had a history teacher It's not a cone straight I'm gonna comb down. All right, you're cutting corners somewhere

I'm making choices Gang having a nice round of applause for the boys from oops the podcast Francis Ellis, julio galerotti We love you guys so much. Congratulations on everything. What do you guys got coming up? You want to folks out there to know plug away any show I'm on tour You can find tickets for that Francis Ellis dot com come to your cities and check out oops the podcast appreciate it 100% yeah, same not julio.com dc third to the fifth of march a bunch of stuff coming after that Yeah, check out oops the podcast. That's it. Stay away from the warlords for a while

Go down in a bokeh with your friends. Let's see your friend Ricky enjoy yourself. I hear you cranes nice this time Or she lean into it and become an arms dealer Yeah, at least at least wet your beak Just think you have the closest connections that we would need to get into the heroin business Or the or the small arms start another school in syria Yeah, dude, that's a real shifty, man. They'll be trading me for britney grinders I don't think my mom would even look you in the eye if she met you Gang we love you to death kippy got anything for him. Uh, this is coming out thursday

So the shows at the Gramercy start this weekend, baby There's only tickets left for the friday night show get them now if they're not already sold out We fucking love you. It's three shows. It's amazing. We appreciate it gang. We love you. We'll see you next week. Peace