Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

Episode Date: April 14, 2025

Are You Garbage presents comedians and podcast hosts Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook! We're talkin' dateline murders, living in the woods, and buying property as a couple. You know Chad Daniels & Kelsey Co...ok from stand up comedy, the Joe Rogan Experience, Kill Tony Podcast, Pretend Problems Podcast, Your Mom's House, Somethings Burning, Soder Podcast, Whiskey Ginger and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 AYG 2025 Card Game: https://areyougarbage.com/collections/all-products/products/are-you-garbage-card-game-2025-edition Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: OpenPhone: Streamline and scale your customer communications with OpenPhone. Get 20% off your first 6 months at https://www.openphone.com/garbage Lightstrike: Learn more about Lightstrike at https://Drinklightstrike.com or follow on TikTok and Instagram @drinklightstrike. Acorns: Head to https://acorns.com/GARBAGE or download the Acorns app to get started. Blue Chew: Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://bluechew.com! Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code GARBAGE -- just pay $5 shipping. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Gang, the 2025 edition of the RU Garbage card game, third edition is on sale right now at RUGarbage.com. Play with your friends, play with your family, and see who is trash. Yeah, we got over 50 questions right here. Was your babysitter a man? Hit me. Yes he was. Ever been run over? How you doing? Yes I have. Can you pick up stuff with your toes?
Starting point is 00:00:19 Yes I can. Gang, available at RUGarbage.com and they're shipping in a day or two. Get on board. Welcome to another exciting edition of RUgarbage. The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage.
Starting point is 00:00:50 Oh, yeah. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedian until we find that they're good to be classy. Yeah. They're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.
Starting point is 00:01:02 She's over in the kitchen having a bowl of crackling oat oat bran. Okay. That's it. Slow morning. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He's an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan everybody. What up gang? How you doing? Thanks for tuning in. As always, make sure you're ready to subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also full video of Enel will now available on Spotify as well. And then obviously Patreon dot com slash are you garbage? Check it out. Yes, sir. And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have two incredibly special guests back with us again today. Both very funny comedians.
Starting point is 00:01:37 They're a power couple Midwestern power couple. People magazines call them not too shabby in the bedroom either. I fish and game called them give it up for Chad Daniels and Kelsey cook everybody thank you for coming out guys we appreciate you as I was saying before you're the third couple on the show you guys have your podcast pretend problems Kelsey has a special out on Hulu and YouTube mark your territory and of course mr. Daniels has a special out on Netflix empty nester. Two of the funniest. Two of my faves. That's so nice guys thank you.
Starting point is 00:02:10 Absolutely we appreciate you guys being here. Well we're super stoked. You said you were the third couple but you also had Tom and Christina separately. Tom and Christina separately. Yes. Okay. Which I don't know how those two work together it's a very they're a very unique pairing. Crazy. Every other couple we've had kind of makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's trash. Which you guys were both trash. Through and through.
Starting point is 00:02:31 We concluded. Without a doubt. Without a doubt. And now you've teamed up. Like a garbage Voltron. Yeah. Mega trash. To get letters from the HOA, I'm sure. How long have you guys been living together?
Starting point is 00:02:44 Just over two years. Two years. Yeah, and who moved into where or did you get a new sing a new place together? We got a new place together very smart. That's not what dirtbags typically do true, but I did I moved from Spokane, which is trash capital of America I feel to Minnesota to live with him. So he moved. I drove two and a half hours southeast. Oh yeah. So she did the moving. Yeah, I was like, here's how it's going to go. Spoke K in the Minnesota. Talk about a lateral move. They probably thought you were moving to Paris or something like that. It's a Delta Hub. It's a Delta Hub.
Starting point is 00:03:25 That's what Midwest people traveling. It's only three hours to everywhere. Fair enough. He's been working the road a while. Yeah, no, yeah. Big Road Dog. Which one thing I didn't want to ask who I saw you guys you posted your Instagram stories yesterday or whatever. And I noticed you guys were traveling together.
Starting point is 00:03:44 Who has a better status? He is okay for being as garbage as he is he is truly He is a prince in the skies. He is Delta 360 what wait? What's that? That's like yes, like five million miles or something. That's like you can't toward for 40 years Tried to buy it you can't buy it that it is invite only yeah let me he's the motherfucker that walks by me as I'm waiting it's so this surprised me one day I was gonna miss my flight because the connection we were delayed and there was a woman right
Starting point is 00:04:19 outside the plane not outside the jet bridge right outside the plane where you drop your luggage or where they put the people in the wheelchair Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and she's jealous of them Can I get a ride up the hill So you rather the store real quick that guy would call that the hill But she had my name on a card and then I went down the luggage stairs to a poor to outside to a poor scene that and they they send you across the tarmac you don't have to go through the you don't have to go in with all the pores
Starting point is 00:04:55 and walk around you have to walk across the tarmac no no they bring in the Porsche in a Porsche yeah like a Porsche I've seen it I've seen people do it before famous people man it's crazy I've seen it. I've seen people do it before famous people man It's crazy. I don't know how I got invited This is a lot for a guy in his way to the comedy zone Wait a second you think I could work the comedies Aris burden at the main Yeah, this is a man who dips his roast beef sandwiches in ketchup like a pond of ketchup And he's getting driven gate to gate in a porch. It's such a weird
Starting point is 00:05:31 dichotomy, but that's what that's what makes comedy crazy is like the biggest dirt bag can be like Yeah, drive me to my plane in a porch, please. Yeah, we'll speak is a red meat I'm with you on that. You don't do an as you wait. You said roast beef sandwich, right? Yeah, there's there's hot roast beef or cold hot. I warm it up. I toast the bread and you're making this at home. Sure.
Starting point is 00:05:53 Okay, I hold on back. This is okay. Wait, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Slow down a second. We're going to get into all this. Yeah, but since you brought up roast beef, you go to the store. I go to the store. Okay, what's the usual lunch meat order?
Starting point is 00:06:06 And is that what you guys call it she gets turkey. Okay, I just call it meat meat Yeah, you just call it meat. Well, I don't want to I don't want to put it in a corner and go I'm only having you at lunch, right? It's sliced meat go I might eat you at midnight. You might be midnight meat. We don't know But what would you say is in the fridge? Midnight meat is also a patreon tear I think sandwich meat Sandwich meat. Yeah, it's very old-school
Starting point is 00:06:35 Lunch meat is the gentleman's term Okay, and let's pull this back one more step what grocery store you guys going guys going together now? The new location, what's that grocery store? It's usually Whole Foods. Okay. Really? Yeah. Very nice. And where are we at in Minnesota? Are we near Minneapolis? Yeah, we're near Minneapolis.
Starting point is 00:06:54 Okay. We're in the cities. Roughly, we're in the suburb of the Twin Cities. Yeah. Yeah. All right, not bad. Shopping at Whole Foods. Are you doing the name brand, Turk? What's the order when you go? Let me get...
Starting point is 00:07:08 Yeah, it's like the Applegate. Apple? Oh, I know what you're talking about. That's tight. There's only one roast beef. It doesn't have the label on it. You just say, I'd like some roast beef. But it comes with blood. Yeah, they do it there. They haven't cooked out the blood.
Starting point is 00:07:24 So that's what you get? You're a roast beef man when it comes to deli meat I get roast beef I put I put that on a little plate. Okay, and I put that in the microwave For 30 seconds, then I add my cheese for 30 more seconds. I don't like my cheese to be too hot American American goddamn patriot citizen pay my taxes pay my taxes so I eat the cheese. And then I toast the bread. And then sometimes when I'm getting crazy, I'll make some mushrooms, saute some mushrooms.
Starting point is 00:07:51 Really? Throw that on there. And then I slice it. And then I dip all that masterpiece in ketchup. Wow. All right, I'm with Kelsey now. Oh! It's so cute.
Starting point is 00:07:59 Once you add it to mushrooms, to dip that in ketchup is weird. Yeah. And theoretically, it should be Swiss cheese if you're putting it on roast beef just saying as far as like fat guy rules Which we play by here, I don't know if you've gotten the handbook we play by fat guy rules It's guys making a French dip with American cheese. I know Dice are on it by Kraft singles. It's you can't get It's also a freedom dip brother That's why I put American cheese on it take my Liberty sandwich, please hello
Starting point is 00:08:31 Wait hold on these are craft singles. You're doing that with or like single. No. I'll do like what is Sargento Is that a brand of cheese? That's what you're getting. Yeah, you know guys mixing countries wait couple tariffs on this fucking You're not getting the cheese at the deli counter to Give me a pound of America if it's pre sliced. I'm not asking for it takes too long They got to wash the thing they got to go to a different slice. I respect that Sometimes I'll have a pre sliced and I like to go in and in and out on this grocery shopping Who's doing are we doing this together? Well, we'll doing this together?
Starting point is 00:09:05 Well, we'll do it together. Sometimes if one of us is near it, then we'll just go do it by ourselves, but. The whole order or how often, how long of a days are you guys shopping? Cause you're both working, you're both traveling. Yeah, I don't know. We do try to get in and out.
Starting point is 00:09:20 Chad is. I would peg Chad is not a cart kind of guy you grab a cart and go basket guy yeah it's man's man basket sometimes I go mini cart she's with depends on what we're gonna get I never go full cart never go full carts too much I'm the same way what am I planning for a fucking month sure I'm on the road I got a word many I put most stuff in my arm like I do it yeah my dad instilled in me that you only ladies use carts Oh, I'm very much like it's under my gala. Guess you know yeah
Starting point is 00:09:51 Whatever Sometimes I'm going by myself more often now because Chad has His spaz is in public are kind of off the charts and a woman really the listeners that don't know Chad He's what I would call a little bit of a loose Man with a set of principles Follow the fucking rules how hard is that right there with you big guy he lives by a roast beef cold Hold on let's back this up. We're gonna go. Let's get more into the grocery store but first to travel how
Starting point is 00:10:27 Was the traveling to how is the traveling together because theoretically you're both seasoned comics you both travel a lot for business So that usually keeps people on the same page because we have the trouble now That when we don't we travel as a group we travel like it's like a team We're you would be you would be very impressed We're fun. Yes, no wait. I love nothing in and out. You don't have any luggage. You're just carrying your stuff Got my deodorant in my mouth. Yeah But sometimes we're finding now that when we do bring the significant others or family involved in our travel It's like what the fuck it's like they've never been in an airport before
Starting point is 00:11:03 Oh, God, I don't really have that people going through the giant things of liquids is this my wife My wife will get caught with five different water bottles Oh, no, it's not if she's gonna get caught they flag her thing and I go and it's about three Because I didn't even remember this I got my backpack pulled on the way here because I had wooden a wooden version of brass knuckles Why is that that's probably illegal no case somebody gives me shit about a roast beef sandwich He puts it on cracks his neck Wait, is that like a weapon or is that like a trinket? It was a trinket gift. Okay from whole hilarities Did they confiscate it no that he had to call over a manager?
Starting point is 00:11:46 Who couldn't turn her neck she had to turn like a full robot and she goes I don't know that's fine with me And then he put it back in my bag Here we are to do some damage you think I probably I mean more than my knuckles. Yeah sure okay, but definitely scratch Little Murphy's oil soap on that Give me a splitter So you guys you should move pretty well together through the airport yeah any complaints on either either part Hmm so Chad is very efficient man. My complaints are just always he has such a low tolerance for anybody's nonsense
Starting point is 00:12:31 The no luck fist bump anybody Doing something that he just feels like they should have been raised better. Mm-hmm, which I mean like you're in an airport You're on a plane. You're gonna run into Yeah, you've raccoon people. It just like this I'm the nature yeah it's just how it is so I know you guys have kind of like an infamous fart story right with the Ozempic have I sure they were burps burps burps that's right sure smelled like farts okay the worst kind of the worst kind of fart and or burp. I don't know why we gotta bring this up. OK, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Is that a smell coming out of your mouth? Took me two days to figure out what it was.
Starting point is 00:13:09 So Chad and I were on a plane together last year, and somebody in our section would not stop farting. Really? Like, I'm talking 30 straight minutes of ripping ass. Yeah, look at his pulse, just the PTSD from this. So he at first, Chad Chad turned to me and was like Is that you? I'm like listen Accused you accused your lady for yeah, you're ripping ass over here fair
Starting point is 00:13:33 I need information because if it's her I'm not gonna do you have to go within the group first It's like when a wife gets murdered they have to ask the husband You're telling me it was a one-armed man It's like when a wife gets murdered, they have to ask the husband. They gotta eliminate him as a suspect. You're telling me it was a one-armed man. So this person keeps farting. Chad took his headphones off, got up a little bit and shouted to our entire section, hey, you stink, go to the bathroom and take care of it.
Starting point is 00:14:04 And I'm like Wanted to flush myself out of the airplane toilet. I was such a non-confrontational person and he's just so comfortable policing, like being a dad to anybody. What about the flight attendants? Do they come over or anything?
Starting point is 00:14:20 There's a man They were all wrapped up in the seat pad extenders. There's a man shouting in the aisle. Did that cause any attention from the group? Cause on a plane you become the problem then. Like in that, the way they would go, we have an unruly man. You're allowed to fart.
Starting point is 00:14:34 It's in, last time I told you it was America, you can eat whatever sandwich you want. You're allowed to fart on a plane. Right. That's true. And I'm looking up on TikTok, a science video called called smelling is tasting. So I can show it to everybody saying like,
Starting point is 00:14:48 we're eating this man's shit. And so I'm just not into it. I'm not into somebody constant. You fart once, I get it. You fart twice, whatever. I don't disagree. But now it's a game for you and I don't wanna play. Something tells me that situation would have made it
Starting point is 00:15:05 worse if you were showing tic tac to the flight. Your duct tape to the seat. I want to shake your hand. Okay. All right. All right. All right. Hmm. You both TSA pre check? Yeah. Do you have who has clear? Do you both have clear? Do you do that? Both have clear. Very good. Very good. Hmm. Who's picking or doing the the travel when you guys do stuff together professionally or when you do stuff? Vacation wise who would be handling that I think it's both of us. Yeah, we both we like figure out our flights
Starting point is 00:15:37 We figure out hotel together. Nobody's like that's not one person taking charge I will I will tell you what there was a time where she depended on upgrades. Uh huh. To fly first class. I gotta tell you something. 360 ain't doing that. 360 is not waiting for a fucking upgrade. You're up front every time.
Starting point is 00:15:54 I'm up front every time. They're driving him in a motherfucking Porsche. You think they're gonna put him in Delta Comfort? Now by the way, this is the only thing like this in my life. I don't have any of this other shit anywhere else in my life did the did the did the fart situation happen in first class yes really it might have been you you burping I wasn't even on the plane just still in the ocean okay really all right that changes things a little bit and there was one there was one time where she did not get upgraded
Starting point is 00:16:26 and it was a long flight, so I gave up my seat to go back to sit with her where they were dancing in the bottom of the Titanic. Bunch of Italians. And I just looked at her and she said, "'Oh my God, that's so nice." And I just said, but this is it. This is the one time.
Starting point is 00:16:42 This is it, yeah. And so now. He meant it. And so now he meant it and so now has it happened again oh now I just I just spend the money now wow okay good yep all right it's that we're both on a plane so much you do start to notice like if you are sitting in main cabin week after week your neck it's so of course you're not sleeping well you're preaching to the fire yeah the second I got a credit card I was like I have never going back it's so of course you're not sleeping well you're preaching to the fire yeah the second I got a credit card I was like I have never going back it's an investment in your health it's an investment I have rocked too many
Starting point is 00:17:11 strangers babies to sleep to sit back you would do that you'd say give me the baby sometimes they're like I just don't know what to do and I'm like right here come on while cursing at the parents yeah just like a baby crying Yeah, just like, a baby crying is one thing. Fart, I'm gonna fucking scream it. Okay. Okay, let's talk about open phone. Open the phones! Gang, if you're running a business, you know that every time you miss a call, you're leaving money on the table.
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Starting point is 00:20:07 LifeStrike, hard refresher, an excellent source of 5% alcohol. Do it. This is one thing that we've been doing on the show since you've both been here. Growing up in both of you individually, who was the first famous person you met? It could have been, it didn't have to be, it could have been like a local radio guy,
Starting point is 00:20:24 somebody you'd seen in a commercial, a celebrity came to town, an athlete. When you were a kid, who jumps out at you? Kat, do you have one? I do. Go for it, you go. Frank Viola, pitcher for the Minnesota Twins. Wow, that is pretty good.
Starting point is 00:20:35 He started the circle change, and we waited behind the metrodome at the time to get autographs. He started the circle change. Circle change is a change-up Where instead of just throwing it slower you'd make a circle with your fingers. Oh That's a pretty good one very inside hanging out to get autographs. I like okay, that's respectable yours It's probably like a foosball player. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I know my brain is scrambled from meeting
Starting point is 00:21:04 Yeah, when I was young meeting big big football players, that was exciting to me. But I mean, that's giving an example of the name of a famous football player from back in the day. Oh, man. Well, Cindy Head is like, that's a good one. She's like an ex cop from Alabama and she is the winningest person in football. She has the most championships, if anybody in football. So I mean, I mean, like you grow up and you kind of hear about these people then you meet him at a turn Yeah, that's a celebrity deal. Yeah, when I was in college, I got to interview Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
Starting point is 00:21:33 Whoa, and that was very cool I worked for like a like an ESPN affiliate in college for a little bit where you were like student reporting and That was that was like oh my god I feel like I shouldn't even be allowed to talk to you're such a massive Person and I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I got a fucking little camcorder. I mean that's awesome He's very nice. Give you both a point for that. That's a really good one Let's do the The high school notable alum notable alum
Starting point is 00:22:01 What was the name of the high school each one of you went to we find out off your own Wikipedia's notable alum from that said institution You'd be surprised Cheney high school Cheney Cheney can I get a spelling on that? He was looking up Cindy head The pressures on Luke yeah now you can be nothing fucking tumbleweed we got to who we got an astronaut Michael P Anderson that's a girl and then Steve Entman a football player yeah all right you should be on there how old was the astronaut you didn't go to high school with an astronaut, did you? No, no, no. But I do remember, I think we have a gym named after him.
Starting point is 00:22:46 Graduated in 77. You're age. And what about Mr. Daniels? For Fergus Falls, Minnesota. Found that one comes up on your wiki. Really? Got to be linked. Only notable alumni.
Starting point is 00:23:04 He's got the 360. But he's in there for being dealt with 360. Not a comedian. Only guy in town ever riding a Porsche. Oh, most run ins with TSA and air marshals. Still not in the hall of fame though for that school. Really? Yeah, I had... That's crazy. Well, I don't think it's crazy at all. I think it's like, you know, athletes and people that have gone on to actually do important things.
Starting point is 00:23:33 I think that's what it is. Sure. Okay. But there's no other notable alum, so who could have, I mean... I mean, the Barrett entry is a huge... You know anybody off Rip that went to your high school that was famous? Well, we had a couple guys it guys that played for the twins farm league and then we had a guy that went a
Starting point is 00:23:49 Gather went to my guy I graduated with John Pontius went to West Point and was like the face of their track and field because his Triple jump was okay. Just yeah triple jump my brother did that. I never understood that. What's triple jump You like jump with your left foot foot left foot then your right foot It's into the sand. Yeah, that's the law. Yeah, but not the regular long jump you like Skip that's the only way I have to hurdles nope. It's like a power skip. Yeah, it's a weird event hurdles were tough for me Wasn't my event no one
Starting point is 00:24:26 The silence that followed that. Just a lot of people yelling you're supposed to go over that. He's eating it right right through. Okay, sticking to the travel. How's the hotel situation with you guys together? Are you guys a pretty good cohesive unit? you guys together. Are you guys a pretty good cohesive unit? Yeah, you know, there's like we got to navigate morning poops where it's like, I got to go. Don't go anywhere near there for 20 minutes. Like we did.
Starting point is 00:24:54 Like, that's kind of the only thing that we have to coordinate. Other than that, it's fine. Tell rooms. Yeah. Tell rooms are rough. Sometimes you get like that sliding door. You're like, what the fuck are we doing? What is this? Yeah. Frosted glass. I'm like, I don't need you seeing my silhouette as I shit at 8 a.m. This is a horrifying way to start the day together
Starting point is 00:25:12 Look at us. I'm one mistake away from being out of this relationship Shit I get nervous Take care of that. It's on that roast beef He shot. He yelled at her, take care of that. It's all that roast beef. Beef and ketchup. Uh huh, okay. Do either of you guys unpack, this is a big Luke thing, do either of you guys unpack your
Starting point is 00:25:33 stuff when you're at a hotel? Will you put your, like, put it in the drawers or in the closet? No, we're not doing the drawers. I'll like occasionally hang up a shirt if it's gonna get really wrinkly, but. Normal? the drawers all like occasionally hang up a shirt if it's gonna get really wrinkly but normal I learned something about him yesterday a really big Germaphobe with the hotel carpet like I set a pillow on the ground and he's like that can't come back on the bed I would have no kid interesting interesting. Yeah, my pillow is there all over the place
Starting point is 00:26:00 You would not do well in a relationship You would not do well in a relationship. They usually fall on the floor when I'm sleeping and I gotta reach down and grab it. Because I hug one. Yeah, no, I'll get a new room. I'll call down for a new room before I grab that pillow. It's because you take, you know, you're walking around, everything's fine, and then it's one crunch, and I go, no, I bring slippers, that's it. You won't roll dog it on your feet? Uh-uh, I bring slippers, that's it. You're a slipper's man. You're a raw dog in.
Starting point is 00:26:25 No, I bring slippers. No kidding. Wow. I can't do it. Man's being like you, slippers. Oh, hey, you're barking up the wrong tree. I apologize for my friend making fun of your slipper choice. You don't wear slippers at the house, do you?
Starting point is 00:26:38 I don't think they're bug funny. You do? Yeah, they're like Birkenstock. Well, she also brought two cats and so Right. No, I'm when I moved over to Minnesota You've been on the trip. Oh god Might as well up so she brought him to the house you drive her flying. I flew you flew with the cats Okay. Yep, and he came so we each had a cat
Starting point is 00:27:05 Smudge on the 360 You know what we're down to 180 dude Were you a were you a cat person before no I never had cats no, that's a big jump That's a fucking huge jump two of them adults obviously not kitten So you couldn't even get cutesy cutesy with them and then watch them grow up right and those things just don't like you And this good now they do like me and I we've we've bonded. I'm allergic to cats. That wasn't great right away So what do you do? Sneeze no kidding. Yeah, it's a lot of that. It's a lot of
Starting point is 00:27:42 Going to bed with your eyes burning But I wear slippers because if I don't my socks end up looking like cotton candy. I agree with that okay sense all right Slippers in the house are either one of you currently reading any books Yeah, I'm about to finish the a guitar series. Let's heard of this a court of thorns and roses It's like like fairy porn thorns and roses. Yeah A court of thorns and roses. It's like like fairy porn thorns and roses. Yeah Yeah, it's called the the first one's called a court of thorns and roses And then there's five of them and then each one is like a court and you're about to finish the series about to finish The fifth one. Yeah, it's like taken over. It's like adult Twilight. Gotcha
Starting point is 00:28:19 Pretty adult. What are you gonna? I was gonna say if Lord of the Rings was a had a cock ring It's more like that. Huh? They're really good. Are you reading anything? I am I'm reading Sam Talins book right now Shut up to Sam Talin out on a random house right now. I believe I gotta tell you this is your first time right here It's in fact the best time right? Yeah, I I went back and read it Maybe six months ago, and I've texted it him probably every day just being like it's insane Yeah, this story is in you and the word it's fucking crazy. Yeah, it's it's walking thesaurus And he uses names of of people we know which I thought was awesome
Starting point is 00:28:57 Yeah, even if they're not comedians in the thing like he uses the name Kurt Fletcher as a guy that's selling coke at a random Bar and Kirk Fletcher is a dude from New Mexico that I've worked with a million times. That's my boy. Yeah, so it's really cool. OK, very good. Two good ones. Is that a typical read for you? Would be a novel.
Starting point is 00:29:17 Or are you more of a nonfiction? Guns and ammo quarterly. I picture you reading the autobiography of Douglas MacArthur or something like that. Yeah as he's cleaning a handgun Stories that's what's next to the toilet for him in his private Are there are there reading materials in next to the bathroom toilet in the bathroom We didn't have a little was like Beatles quotes book that he got for Christmas. Okay that was a nice little little read. Do we use our phones in there? Yeah we're Wurdling and Turtlene. Wurdling. Classy. We have, should we tell them? We
Starting point is 00:29:56 have like a we've been doing this for so long we have a tournament going all the time where we're doing we're competing against each other and Wurdle and Nurdle and Quirtle. I don't know you lost me I have never touched Wirtle I have the idea I've seen the picture but what's Nurtle and Turtle? So Nurtle is like the um... Talk about fairy porn. Hot stuff you do. You should know that I'm always in my slippers when I'm doing Curlers in late adult Yahtzee Yeah, nerdles with the math version of word all so you're trying to you're trying to guess an equation basically and then quartal is like Wordle but times four we just were like 97 we like puzzles and stuff and so I like hey That's great. Are there any puzzle puzzles like on a dining room table like you know we don't have jigsaw jigsaws that's what I'm either one of you ever owned that 3d art. Yeah, you'd like kind of focus Well, I used to do that. I used to do 3d puzzles when I was a kid, but not 3d art
Starting point is 00:30:55 Are you like a building or whatever? Yeah, it was like it's like a jigsaw puzzle But the pieces were thick and made of thick foam in the middle. And so you would build like castles and stuff. You never finished it. I had a lot of friends. I used to tell my kids that a lot of the pictures in my house, if you focused on the middle, it would become something else just for a little peace and quiet.
Starting point is 00:31:16 It's not working. Yeah, no shit. Try again. Try the next one. It's a mirror. They're just sitting there staring at it. OK. And you guys said you moved. You guys both, you got a place together.
Starting point is 00:31:28 Yes. How was the decorating of that? Was there things that you guys had in a previous life that you brought, or was it all new furniture and all that kind of stuff, and that decision-making process? So, Chad had a house before we moved in together and so he had way more stuff I sure he was fully adult like raised children in this house. He's got Paintings like real adult shit. I was living in apartments. So he had more of a like hey, can we put these paintings?
Starting point is 00:31:58 I have up and I didn't mind too much First of all, we moved into a townhome which we did not decorate yeah we knew we were gonna be there for not us so we kind of lost house prior to pretty much just to see like my dad did that when we got the when he got divorced I've been in those apartments and a couple of times yeah bare walls yeah things still in boxes eating in folding chairs leaving in the middle of the night we moved the one time in 1 a.m. what do you kids think this is pretty good crying grab the lone acoustic guitar has your mother been seeing anyone okay so you had so you had a starter townhouse, as you guys just got settled in the area. And to see if you guys could cohabitate.
Starting point is 00:32:52 Yeah. I mean, I don't think we'd doubt it. I wouldn't have moved across the fucking country to Minnesota in the middle of January if I felt like this wasn't going to work. I don't even tour there in the middle of January. That's like a brutal move. So I mean, I think we both felt pretty confident, but buying I mean, that's my first house 50 50 50.? 50-50. Yeah, that's great.
Starting point is 00:33:28 Interesting. We have a little lake cabin and the neighbors, when they saw her the first time and we told them we bought a house, they were like, oh, you guys bought a house or you bought the house and she lives there? I get it, but
Starting point is 00:33:44 she also pays 50. That's right. You have a lake house. Right. Okay. Forgot about that. Yes. How far away is that from the main house where the bodies are probably made that now it's two hours and 45 minutes. Okay. And that's your that's you guys vacation home in the summer. I'm there almost the entire summer. Wait, really? Do you not work in the summer then? I hardly work in the summer. Couple of one-offs. Wait a minute. Chad's really like, he has lived his life exactly the way he wants to. Hold on. So in the summer, you'll be there and go out on tour from there? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:20 Or is there like stretches where he's there and you're at the other house? Sometimes there's little stretches. I take more work in the summer than he does. Not much. He's been a good example of trying to have more balance in my life and not just be on the road all the time. But I also like I like our it's our dream about our dream house. It's amazing. So to go out to the cabin, it's like I got to drive the cats out there. He loves water. I'm not like a big swimmer not a big bug person. So he it's like a huge bug guy
Starting point is 00:34:51 I just sit out there at 10 p.m Land on me like a pigeon lady. So what are you doing out there all summer by yourself? His kids his his daughter comes home from college He also live in life man could could live by himself forever, though. Do the kids come out and stay out there for the summer and then work from there? Yeah, so my son is married. He's got his own thing going on,
Starting point is 00:35:13 but he lives pretty close to the cabin. And then my daughter will be home, and she'll go back and forth to her mom's cabin. And I golf. I swim a ton. So there's like a... This is like somewhat of a destination for the summer, the the Jersey Shore would be to people in Philly So there's like yeah, like a community out there. It's not like a cabin like on a lake by itself, right?
Starting point is 00:35:34 It's 800 people in this town in the winter and thirty thousand. Yeah. Okay. All right So you're basically down to shore for the summer in my dirt bag filly brain, okay? Little more sense than him in a cabin by himself on a lake no that makes more sense to me If he was killing people or something like that living by candlelight in his little slippers Dressed like a woman. Let's see what happens next time somebody says something to me at the airport. Take care of it.
Starting point is 00:36:13 He's talking to people that are whittled. OK. We're having fun. Yeah. Do either one of you currently have any half used gift cards? Oh, yeah. To where do you think? I think we've got like a restaurant one.
Starting point is 00:36:29 Don't bring me into this. Maybe maybe an Abercrombie and Fitch. I got a few. Yeah. It's like you got eight bucks on it or something. You're like, well, I mean, hold on to it. It feels dumb to throw it away. But when are you going to use it? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:36:41 Chad Daniels, not a gift card guy, I would have to assume. I mean, I'll receive them with a smile on my face. But when I use them, I try to use them all up, or if it's too big of an amount for a normal tip, try to leave it and make the person's day whatever it is. She's dipping gift cards in ranch. Like the white trashiest person you've ever seen. And then I'll clap the balance.
Starting point is 00:37:04 I've never asked for a balance. Oh, yeah, what's the balance of that? Can you well is the balance on the receipt? You're logging in I would rather file for bankruptcy and have to ask someone what my gift card balances That's funny that that this came up because I got a situation like to get a 360s man a 360 man's Opinion on this okay. I got a dinner on- Can I borrow 80 bucks? I got the keys to that board. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:30 I have a dinner on Saturday at a pretty nice place that my- This just happened. That my wife's been wanting to go to. The girls at work got her a gift card, or a gift certificate to this place. You left this out of when we found out he's going to a nice restaurant and he drops it on us. I'm not a gift card guy, I'm not a gift certificate to this place. You left this out of when we found out you were he's going to a nice restaurant.
Starting point is 00:37:45 He drops it on us. I'm not a gift card guy. I'm not a gift certificate guy. I didn't know there's a gift card in the work. I'm very social anxiety when it comes to that stuff. You know what I mean? I tip really well. I don't want any problems. It's got to be smooth.
Starting point is 00:37:59 I'm not splitting the check or anything like that. This gift card that the girls got her at work. I know it's not gonna cover the bill What do we know can you tell us what it is? I think it's 200. Okay. Nice. I want to say it's 200 This is obviously so this is a rare occasion. It's a special place. She really wants to go whatever it's an expensive I gotta wear a fucking jacket tie. Whoa, three with you we could sew together Whoa, three with you we could sew together That was a question I Kind of don't want to use the gift card because I because I know I'm gonna have to go
Starting point is 00:38:36 Here's the gift card and then put the rest on this card I just and especially if it's a nice place like that I don't want these fucking rich fuckers thinking that I don't belong there You do not you don't have the attire and you're paying with a gift card Yeah Well, I wouldn't go Pipe burst Enjoy your gift card, but if if I'm there, I think it's okay to say Here's the gift card put the rest on here and then leave a sizable tip. Okay, I think it's okay to say here's the gift card put the rest on here and then leave a sizable tip
Starting point is 00:39:07 Okay, I think that yeah, I'm assuming that's what you did Did this will be decided but that's fraud that that is what I will oh this okay? I got an idea a little bit more of a flex than the double card cash have a couple of hundas on Yeah, that shows you're a player in the city. You got for real. Yeah, like, oh, here's the gift card. Boom, boom, boom. The rest is that's all for you. Can't but talk
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Starting point is 00:42:00 promo code garbage visit Bluetooth comm for more details and important safety info and we thank blue chew for sponsoring the podcast now back to the show back to the show back to the show because i don't know how if i go if we go there and i tell her which i normally would i don't want to use the gift card you go ahead and use it with one of your girlfriends it's too nice of a she's not going to go back so i gotta use it yeah can't just go to Applebee's whenever you write right also if this place is offering gift cards this is something you have to picture on a daily basis yeah servers is probably running ladies cards it's not personal it's you can't help that somebody gave that to you as a gift I mean it's a gift card Queens talking now you know I know there's a reason you can't be worse I might have a couple of bucks in there I want to take 75 out on the gift card put the rest on this discover card
Starting point is 00:42:49 Let's look at this from a relationship standpoint Your wife at work is such a good person that people got together and gave her $200 gift card And she probably wants to use that and for you guys and say hey look at this I got this for being awesome. You know, she probably wants to feel that. Yeah, I don't leave everything out. I tried. Kid. I think that's a smart guy.
Starting point is 00:43:15 No, that's good advice. I tried. That's good. Yeah, just hit it. Hit them with the cash and keep it moving. Speaking of dinner, do you guys like to share things? Will you share an appetizer? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:27 Okay. Will you maybe get something like Kelsey gets the lasagna and you get the steak and hey, we'll share it. Or are we individual entrees only? No, we're sharing. He's not a freak with that stuff? Whoa. You are really poking the bear.
Starting point is 00:43:43 My guy. Well, I'm telling you, you had to tread lightly today. We had a long day ahead of us. You are really poking the bear He would be protective of he's a particular guy it's his plate he just locked the door with his eyes Right now he's got the wooden knuckles on That a wooden gun Yeah, she's allergic to pistachios and cashews and so if I want something to myself Did the Delta 360 start yeah, you got a real fucking holy tori on me, man. I'm sorry I Said pistachios and then I sneezed what's wrong? I'll have the honey roasted cashews We have hands before we open the door there buddy. Oh, man. I'm at the best
Starting point is 00:44:49 I also just you guys did the very dirtbag thing of buying a house out of wedlock. That's like what we've done everything I know that's just like what we got life insurance Recently bought a house you did all of these big things before marriage all of them Something started House you've done all of these big things before marriage You know it's fun so today's my birthday You and I'm not I'm that's very nice. Thank you I'm just saying it so that when he starts to get sassy today today is my one day a year where I can give him A look like hey, it's my fucking birthday Be nice
Starting point is 00:45:32 Yeah, yeah, he surprised me with tickets to Glenn Gary Tickets either Yes got me Got me like a really nice to me backpack like really just like very nice Like really really spoiled me and then we were telling you guys beforehand that we ran into Club soda Kenny the incredible club soda Kenny who took us backstage and we got a meet Bob Odenkirk And we got to say hi to bill burr. It was just an amazing night So that was like kind of our big
Starting point is 00:46:11 Birthday celebration night and then today very nice performing together tonight, so it's very fun. We love it. Yeah, that's big soft He has such a prickly exterior and like eyes that do look like he could lock a door with them But in on the inside he's Just the best he's a man's man. Yeah. Good alpha lady. All men's men are good with the look with the broads. OK. Sweating. I know. I make him so uncomfortable when I say nice things about it.
Starting point is 00:46:41 Nothing too trashy. If I can say really up to this point, you know. Wow. We've really I think we've gotten better now that we're together. They're shopping at Whole Foods. The United Force. What's breakfast looking like if you're both at the house? And who's making it? Usually we'll just both do a smoothie.
Starting point is 00:47:01 Oh, and she's. What about like on a Sunday? You know, you're you're letting the hair down smoothie and some cashews I can catch up in there somehow Sundays usually will order pizza not for breakfast like we'll both fly in on a Sunday That would take all of our okay that's right. You're both flying in on Sunday. You're both getting home That's got to be nice and cozy. You're both coming off the road Yeah, get home season trade war stories. I had this one. Are we unpacking right away that night?
Starting point is 00:47:33 No, Chad will never unpack. It's just a perpetual cycle of I leave my suitcase and then Thursday night I open it wash those clothes go right. Put them back in for Friday morning. I like it. That's great. That's crazy. I just opened my suitcase from Tor a month ago. 2021. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:47:55 2021. And the only reason I did it is because I ran out of socks and underwear and I remembered that I had some in there. And I figured since they had been sitting in the suitcase so long, theoretically, they were fresher than anything I was gonna pull out of it. Jesus. You were wrong. They were dry-aged.
Starting point is 00:48:13 Yes. I have to unpack fast now because I just started he started packing his slippers with him I started packing my pillow with me like my good pillow from home. Traveling with a pillow. I'm bringing my full because all these hotels is different pillows and it really messes I understand it but that's how where do you put the pillow when you're traveling it's just on one half and I can squish it down I can put stuff on top of it and zip that compartment it actually it works better than I thought it would it's like not taking up too much space I don't know what does never break that out on the plane and like notle up in the corner
Starting point is 00:48:49 No, cuz it shouldn't the way you are with hotel carpets, and I feel that way about playing So I'm just like I don't want anything that's gonna be touching my face. I agree touching the plane stuff Let's get to sleep in a little bit How many are we in a king-size bed at the at the house? Yeah, okay? How many pillows are on the bed? Oh my god. That's not no on the bed on the bed a different question Yeah, yeah, normal amount of pillows two to four like one for me One to two for me. Yeah, we're not one of the people has like 50 decorative pillows, but he There have I went through a pillow I was trying to find out
Starting point is 00:49:24 Was trying to find out, yes, how sharp my knives were. Trying to find it for my neck. So I didn't wake up with a kink or shoulder pain. So I probably have 15 pillows in my closet. Were you doing like normal, just standard regular, or were you doing like the design with the curves and the foam? Yeah, I got a couple of those,
Starting point is 00:49:43 but when you take those out of the plastic, they're from China and they just smell like cancer. They smell so bad. It's so bad. It gives you a headache. I can't do this. Yeah. And then yeah I just tried a bunch. Okay. Did you get a winner? I finally found one. And you're one. One pillow guy. One pillow. On your side? I can't remember. Yeah I sleep on my side on my back I can snore. On your back you can store it. You kept two behind your behind your head sometimes yeah if I'm reading nothing between anybody's legs or holding anything nothing like that and you guys sleep away from each other or facing into each other oh I wish we cuddled more but Chad is a very like the second I get in bed don't touch me literally the bed is for sleep don't touch me don't it's like a
Starting point is 00:50:27 very cuddle free zone he's like the couches for cuddles the bed is for sleep I don't hate that I don't hate it I don't hate it the only Christian morale I have is the bed is for sleeping that's it I mean other it's it's you get in there all the sudden you're 20 minutes into a conversation but your body's tricked because it has been laying down and now you're staring at the ceiling for 40 minutes more functional. Yeah. Gotcha. Yeah. Is there a TV in the room? No. No TV. So when we go to bed we go to bed. Yeah. Chat it. Yeah. Read. We read a little bit. Can. Yeah. how about the phones?
Starting point is 00:51:06 they're like Bedside, but we're not the people who like sit and just scroll tik-tok before but we're trying to we try to be good about like Not looking at blue light before bed. Okay. She's also she now she has I don't remember what it's called, but it's oh a hatch alarm clock Okay, they're great. Yeah, it's that does the rain sounds and all that shit too, right? Yeah, she also has the wind down. Yeah, there's like a arsonist. A little school me. I don't know what we're talking about. So it's like a bougie. It's like an Alexa but an alarm
Starting point is 00:51:36 clock. Okay, and it can give you different soundscapes and lightscapes and all this stuff. And there are different programs or whatever to help you fall asleep so there will be like a 10 minute meditation relaxation thing sucks Yeah, it's like we listen to the beginning of Metallica's one and we go to bed Exactly how do you not sleep to that? And then he, his alarm is, wake up, why would you put a alarm on me? Just immediate system of a down.
Starting point is 00:52:12 He likes to fall asleep to radio chatter from Vietnam. Good morning! She used to have just an app before she got this hatch, and it sounds like the elf from Harry Potter okay this was her little wind down where it was like the day is over and it's nighttime is a I don't like it either think Steven shut it down I got a question it was relatively a hot or a debate on this you guys a Home Depot family family or are you a Lowe's family? You might be, what is that?
Starting point is 00:52:47 Is it Menards out there? There's all three. Menards. I feel like you're more of a Home Depot, but we'll go to a Lowe's. I went to Home Depot and struck out. So three different times I went there and they didn't have what I looked for.
Starting point is 00:52:58 And then Lowe's had it. But now you're a Lowe's man. So kind of, I've moved over. Okay. What's the ceiling of your handiness? I would have to assume it's pretty high. So high. Yeah? I could moved over. Okay. What's the ceiling of your handiness? I would have to assume it's pretty high. So high. Yeah?
Starting point is 00:53:09 I could do stuff. What kind of tools you got? And what kind of brand? You know, you're DeWalt? I'm not brand loyal. Just whatever gets the job done. Ah, okay. Milwaukee, DeWalt?
Starting point is 00:53:18 Yeah. Makita? Although I have, what's the green one with the? Ryobi. Yeah. I have some of those. one with the Ryobi? Yeah Some of those at Home Depot's house brand we were trashing and people schooled me on it and refresh my who's cutting the grass you For the landscaper who's oh me. Yeah Broke down and started laughing
Starting point is 00:53:47 We ride mower push push. Yeah, what brands that that is a that was left with the house. I don't know Really I asked him to leave it. Did you pay for it at gunpoint? Yes? And a hedge trimmer to you I know where you're moving in my wooden knuckles out cars that now Okay, you frame out a house that's a lot What does that mean I mean I can't I don't wouldn't trust myself to poor footings, but I could frame See hang drywall. Mm-hmm electrical work. What are you doing later? I got a leak in my house. I can I can do some electrical work The problem is you know, it's like I I wouldn't it wouldn't be it wouldn't pass a test I'm not certified to do it and in the summer out at the out at the lake house
Starting point is 00:54:35 What sort of things in that vein are you doing? Like will you set yourself up with a project for this summer? Not this summer last summer. I put in all-new blinds flooring, and maybe that was it? Yeah, and they like cabinet kind of stuff in the kitchen. But yeah. But anyway, but... Put cabinets in? No, no, no, no, no, I just had a... Designed a thing. Yeah. He's the real king of the birds. Ice steak. Yeah. And then you're fishing in the summer? I do fish when my son comes over. I'm not a huge fisherman. No hunting.
Starting point is 00:55:06 Are you hunting at all? I'm never hunted. Huh. Mm-mm. Huh. All my friends, all my friends would hunt. OK. But I never wanted to get up.
Starting point is 00:55:15 Hmm. Have either one of you had a tick on you in the last 365 days? No, but you've dealt with. I mean, him growing up in Minnesota, that's more tick okay, I'm true If you ever have Lyme's disease no my son does though. It does you have it forever fucked up his joints real bad Yeah, really tired all the time seems horrible takes care of the shit out of me. Yeah Jesus they're so small. There's much smaller than I thought they would be too. I kept sneaky. Yeah the deer ticks you can't hardly
Starting point is 00:55:42 That's like the silent killer That was gonna go over that well Big gird crowd I've either have you been to a TJ Maxx or a Marshall's in the last 365 days I've been doing marshals What reasoning my that's a place you go with a I am looking for this kind of thing Yeah, just go my mom and sister needed something. I can't remember. Gotcha. Okay over there. Oh, so this wasn't a solo trip you like You would you clothes shop there would you get you know grab a t-shirt? Yeah, whatever no fear What kind of golf clubs you got I
Starting point is 00:56:33 Have titleist irons. That's all right. I'm gonna use tailor-made well They call them metals now, but woods sure and then some folky wedges and a spider putter. What do you what do you shoot? What's your handicap? It's all right He's so good. I know I can tell you good anytime you ask him something he goes. It's okay Just know that means it's like shooting like high 70s six handicap That's pretty Kick your ass what I don't play
Starting point is 00:57:06 What's the course it It by the lake. It's many. It's called Bellmorell. Private public public. Yeah. All public courses. But nice. Yeah. Nice enough. Eighteen. And then there's a par three right next to a different ownership. Do they have a clubhouse where you can go and have lunch? Yeah. Yeah. OK. Anybody go in there?
Starting point is 00:57:24 The address is the hot dogs on a roller. Actually got both of you guys a gift card. I can't wait. They have doesn't cover a full route. Do they have a locker room? Like a country club? No, no locker room.
Starting point is 00:57:36 No. What's the. The club had the snack or the restaurant like nice. You're looking at pre-made sandwiches pizzas Okay, and then I and then I play one in my hometown of Fergus Falls, which is a half hour from the cabin Okay, that's a restaurant restaurant like that has a locker room from like curby enthusiasm. Yeah, that's the kind of clubhouse That's where I want to be a member Lake golf club, that's what you're looking for when you had my way. Yeah, okay It's very funny. Most people are like a little a little vague with like exact locations
Starting point is 00:58:10 He's like if you want to come fucking see I know I'm like, can you be? That is slow week come see I gotta say this you know Separately pretty trashy sure that's come together two negatives integers make a positive number Yeah, something like that would there be a get you do a nerd? Chad would there be a reciprocating side on Kelsey's side to the roast beef ketchup situation? Yeah, what is the you're like, I can't believe she does this? Yes. I used to do they made fun of me for on the podcast. Mayo. Mayo. I'm listening. She used to have got that Mayo sandwiches with white bread, just white bread
Starting point is 00:59:01 and bread. When I was really that's what she used to eat. white bread, just white bread and mayo. When I was really young. That's what she used to eat. Oh, that's not great. But she doesn't do that anymore. Right now, I mean, so now it's just like. Cause your diet I remember cause you, that you have like the allergy or something.
Starting point is 00:59:14 Yeah, it's gotten so much better this past year. This has been the greatest food year for me. I retested my peanut allergy. I'm not allergic to peanuts anymore. I can have dairy again, I can have bread again. But for like 10, 15 years, it was like no pizza, no burgers, nothing with peanuts. And now I'm just eating everything. It's the greatest.
Starting point is 00:59:31 Speaking of pizza, where's that pizza coming from? Is it a local spot? Are you doing like a Domino's or whatever? No, it's a local spot. Okay. But it's like... No, it's a chain. I like it. So I like Jets.
Starting point is 00:59:41 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like Jets. Jets! Midwest, yeah. I didn't know that was bigger than Yeah, that's a change. They've been the Midwest people like yeah, love it. Yeah, they do a Detroit style Which is the rectangle deep dish love it and I gotta get my hands on some of that jet It's really good. Huh really really good. I've actually I ordered jets for the first time in Michigan, and I was like okay I got this on a Thursday
Starting point is 01:00:05 I'm gonna put this out in the hallway because I don't want to eat the rest of it and then Friday night I came back drunk and I brought it back into the room and I ate some and I even dipped it in the ranch That had been sitting sure then I go what the fuck am I doing? I put the I put the crust that I didn't eat Outside and then Saturday night came back drunk and ate the crust wait So hold on you got a box of pizza you have it in the hotel you put it outside no one has grabbed it if that's your question was it a nice hotel no lived in a hallway you don't know if somebody's coming and open it and licking their fingers and
Starting point is 01:00:39 touching it I have no clue but then you worry about the pillow on the floor you're eating hallway pizza See Crooked line there's no doubt about it Very well said huh the Chad Daniels rulebook is impossible to keep I mean I've I've tried It's you don't know Yeah, like nope yep, so the pizza on Sundays is usually a rectangle pie. Mm-hmm That's very very interesting and let's say you guys are going on vacation where what's a vacation no work
Starting point is 01:01:21 Like obviously you guys are here. You're doing spots. Can't say the lake house. Yeah, what's like if you're going somewhere? What would that look like or what are you guys kicking around to do? We at the end of this past year went to Europe for two weeks We didn't work. We didn't book shows. We went to Dublin London in Paris and our class incredible very first time in Paris Not my first time that was my first time in Dublin and it was your first time everywhere My first time everywhere. Yeah, that's true, but we did wear cutoff sweats that had American flags on the ass You guys mind if I get a freedom dip you have a steak frites in Paris No, we had we end up actually eating a lot of Italian food. It's funny how good it is
Starting point is 01:02:01 It's so funny. Yeah, and like Parisian food in Ireland. It's they're all so we had great Parisian food in Dublin. Yeah, yeah the Just do everything Everything's just done. Well. It's done so well. Yeah. Yeah, we what do you say? We were fucked up. So we rise. It was great. I mean Derogatory we kept every time we were we were kept going. This is the best fucking meal ever and then it wasn't for like three weeks after we got back I'm like we were just wasted every meat like you went a little scissors actually It was every night at like eight o'clock after we had started drinking. Yeah, Jimmy Jones. I mean listen vacations
Starting point is 01:02:40 There is a 360 to Porsche you own the lake house, right? Yeah, they got a bought a house together. It's pretty well decorated They're they're the best for each other which is odd real tree this year Christmas tree can't We can't she's allergic to them We can't celebrate baby Christ's birthday how you're supposed to because she's allergic to fucking pine needles Do we have do we have a social network? Outside of common you hang with the neighbors or stuff like that Now with the neighbors, but we do both have like a really good group of friends in our lives that are not in entertainment Do you guys have a life like you guys you guys go to like a dinner party yeah we've got we
Starting point is 01:03:28 have joint friends in I'm sure Chad mixesacking introducing him to my girlfriends. That's pretty nerve wracking. That's how you're going to carve that turkey, huh? Wow. I'll do the grilling. Alright man, take it easy. Maybe everybody can just dip the turkey in the basting pan for the juices. Since they're all gone now. That's fucking great. I mean, listen.
Starting point is 01:04:00 Yeah? This has been the first time this has happened. Mmhmm. Where they both, the two negatives, Yeah This has been the first time this has happened Where they both the two negatives create a positive two wrongs make a right, huh? This show is constantly you I'm constantly learning this wild. I love there's no real dirt under the fingernails with them together Kelsey cook and Chad Daniels. I love you pretend problems is the podcast as we said before Kelsey has a new special out on Hulu and YouTube mark your territory and empty nesters on Netflix Yeah, fantastic. Thanks for coming by
Starting point is 01:04:35 Have a lot of things I didn't say on the show that I'd love to tell you about when we're done she made me promise Okay, fair and easy she's got him awesome she might be the fucking toenails we left out of the by the way did you didn't post a recipe about brownies or blondies recently did you yes that was you yes had very eggs oh my god you guys unbelievable it was so good we gotta change our algorithm there is veryy, very cozy Why don't you guys start posting something about them smoothies or something Oh yeah I'll send you the recipe
Starting point is 01:05:10 It was just a reel I found and decided to make them And Jesus they were unreal My only gripe Not that big into the Cadbury mini eggs I'm more of a Hershey's mini eggs man Would you have ever had those? Oh I don't know if I have. They're fantastic. Better than Cadbury. Yes.
Starting point is 01:05:26 You like the big cream filled Cadbury eggs? Love them. Okay my daughter and I used to scoop out the yolks and we used to make omelets. And then we would just eat the chocolate shells afterwards. Yeah. What? We like sugar. You're fucking crazy.
Starting point is 01:05:39 Tell them what you used to do with Oreos. Maybe you guys have done this. You kill a man with a cookie? Maybe. Oreos. Maybe you kill a man with a cookie. Maybe I used to pour a whole container of Oreos into a mixing bowl and then pour it. He said maybe you guys have done this milk on it. Fat retort. No, no, that's not what I meant. That's not what I meant. I'm saying like, there's no light in your eyes. Pour milk and
Starting point is 01:05:58 then you eat it like cereal. 100% I've never done that. Jen McDonald taught me that in ninth grade. We were over at her house and I saw her do it and I was like holy shit And I went home crushed them up in a coffee cup pour milk in there and eat it like cereal Yeah, the icing gets really hard and the cookie gets really soft What else you guys got coming up Be right out yeah, I'm gonna be in Tacoma at the end of the month and then Portland, Atlanta, San Antonio, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, and then I'm about to announce fall dates.
Starting point is 01:06:30 So they're at Kelsey cook.com. Love it. Love it. Mr. Daniels, Winnipeg, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Irvine, California, Pittsburgh, two of the absolute best two of the absolute funniest. Yeah. Again, listen to their podcast pretend problems. out the specials guys we love you Kip you what do you got for him? This is coming out this week there might be a few tickets left for Cleveland then we are off the road for a little bit announcing fall dates I think in like a week or two so get ready for those. Grab a set of cards check out the Route 66 special guys again we love you.

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