Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Derrick Stroup!

Episode Date: January 29, 2026

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian Derrick Stroup! You know Derrick Stroup from stand up comedy, The Tonight Show, the Soder Podcast, the Nateland Podcast, the Hayden Alabama Podcast, his Yelling My Feelings Special, The Bob & Tom Show, the Nate Bargatze Christmas Special and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Lucy Goods: http://lucy.co/garbage Promo Code: Garbage Rocket Money: Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/GARBAGE Ridge Wallet: Upgrade your wallet today! Get 10% Off @Ridge with code AYG at https://www.Ridge.com/AYG Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A good Lord, ladies and gentlemen, I do declare there's some new RU Garbage dates over there at RUGarbage.com. Yeah, the Big Man Ant Lion, we just announced Netflix as a joke festival of Los Angeles on May 7th, and we have the Comedy Works in Denver, July 16th to July 18th. Get those tickets these shows are going to sell out. We love you. We'll see you there. Welcome to another exciting edition of R.U. Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals,

or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's that a little show we sit there with your favorite comedians, and we find that it to get up to be classy. Yeah.

Or just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in a new edition. She's down to the DMV. Okay. Trying to beat a case. I got jammed up.

Okay. Fair enough. My co-s is coming at you from right next to me. Unamused this week. A little bit of a swing and a miss, as they say. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world, and I love him.

Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. And the boys are climbing the charts.

To the middle of the charts. Not the top. Who wants to be the top of the charts? That's where. I'm not going for us. And immediately, but not showing off. You know what I mean? Then obviously the greatest website of all time,

www. www. patreon.com slash raragrub. You go over there. You get all that bonus content, gang. Yes, sir. And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. He's a very funny, very successful stand-up comedian.

Seen him on Comedy Central. He's seen him on Tonight Show. It's one of the stars over there on Nate Land. He's got a special out, yelling my feelings. And he's got a brand new special coming out on Netflix and March. Just did nine sold-out shows. there wise guys in Utah give it up for Derek Stroop everybody hey hey hey kids got the hot thanks for having me thanks for having me thanks for coming buddy yeah man I'm pumped like a southern

closer you got the hat pulled down coming out of the bullpen yeah yeah I love it some people that don't know me are going to be like looks like Blake Shelton got stung by bees man all those country guys there was a wave of them they were all good looking his shit oh yeah that like rugged man masculinity the mid two thousand they were all just gorgeous. It does. A cowboy hat does a lot for you, though. It does a lot for you, not for me.

Yeah. I look not so great in them. I've tried. If I could pull it off, I would. A cowboy hat? Yeah. There's also something like, I can't be walking around the streets

in New York and a fucking cowboy hat. No, none of us can. And Jordans, you know what I mean? It's a tough look. Howdy, sir? Let me get chicken over rice, please. Try your ethnic delicacies. Derek, give us the backstory.

Where are you from? Alabama, boy. Alabama? That's right. Born in Charleston, West Virginia, raised in Alabama, I'm a very unique breed. Jesus Christ. I thought it could get worse. You don't see that mix very often.

Six ways of Southern. Yeah, man. How many Charleston's are there, by the way? Jesus Christ. I know. I mean, there's two that we mainly talk about, and it's never the one that I was born. I was going to say, I've never heard of Charleston. Nobody ever assumes that.

But yeah. What was the jump, why jump, and on what age was West Virginia to? I moved to Alabama. I was nine years old. And my dad got a job right outside of Huntsville, Alabama. And at the time, you know, felt like a real lateral move. As I got older, I have to say, I think I made, it was a pretty good decision. Huntsville has turned out to be a, it was a, I'm from harvest right outside of Huntsville.

I mean, harvest sounds like a made up place. I get that. It's a little too on the nose. It's like being from white people, Utah. Apple cider, Alabama. Yeah, I'm from Tornado, Oklahoma. But yeah, so a little town right outside of Huntsville. It was a great area to grow up in.

It was great. And what did your dad do? He worked for my grandfather. They had a family-owned business for probably the first 10 years that lived there. And then that went under. And then he had to start a landscaping business. And so, yeah. They always go under.

My family always sinks. They can get there. They can't maintain it. No, no. I had about 10 years where, I mean, we were riding a heater. Yeah, that's too. Yeah. Yeah, that's the only reason I know anything about Hibachi is that 10 years.

Yeah. Have you been in his Benny on it? Yeah, yeah. Wait, okay, so your grandfather was your grandfather from West Virginia and they moved out and did the business? Yeah, yep, they moved down to Huntsville and he was running it himself. And so he called my dad, who my dad was running a bar in Charleston at the time. He was running a bar. Yeah, it was called number eight down on Capitol Street. It's a great bar name.

Yeah, yeah. It's number eight. Underground, just a couple pinball machines and some stools. But yeah, he ran that forever. And then he went into the family business with my grandfather. It was electrical contacts. It was very unique. They would take silver and put it on the copper.

And they would sell it to like companies for transformers and different things. A lot of just standing up and welding and talk radio. He made great money doing it. But yeah. And then once that went under, we had to pivot to the landscaping company, which was a nightmare. Does not seem like a lateral move. He did not want to be the son of a landscape. had they ever done that you'd that ever done that before no what year is this is this when landscaping got

hot yeah yeah no this is like this is when landscaping really took off i would say probably 20 years ago all right i mean everybody once you know i mean everybody had a had something in the back of their lawnmower they were pulling weed eaters a poor oh yeah he may i mean he made killer money doing it and i was of no help a lot of cash my other brother will he helps out with it still yeah yeah still still still still still helps with it coaches baseball helps my dad out with the the company, but there's no way. I mean, I did it on and off for several years, but I'm not laying any side. So once you moved out there and became 16, 17, you were automatically on the crew, I would have said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You start, I mean, well, actually, let's get the timeline

right. This probably started happening when I was about 18, the landscaping stuff. So I was able to get out. I went to Jacksonville State University, which is a tiny little school in Alabama. It's about two hours south of Huntsville where I grew up. I went there for seven years. Dude, Southern guys go to schools you've never heard of all. Every single one of them. Did you stay at home and go to school? Oh, no, no, no.

I lived in Jacksonville. I had the absolute time of my life. I mean, there was only like two bars there, seven restaurants, a school at the time probably 7,000 people. And I truly had the time. And there was all kinds of, I mean, country singer Riley Green, me, Sam Hunt, Drake White. We were all, those are all country singers you probably don't know, but we were all there at the same time.

Like a super group. Yeah, yeah. Sam was playing at the local bar. Riley went to school there and was playing. And, yeah, it was a wild, it was a great time, man. That's not bad. What'd you go to school for? Well, several things.

We landed on recreation because I'd touched everyone. What the fuck is that? Well, my final was canoeing and dodgeball, and that's not a joke. Like, we would learn, we, like, we would get freeze tag for the class. and you would learn the ethics, a freeze tag, of, like, how to treat people and keep people's boundaries safe. But this is in college? Yeah, yeah. But, you know, looking back, I've told my friends this.

Looking back, I've always wondered if I was in regular classes. No, I don't think you were, dude. No way. I don't want to say anything. They just duped me. Yeah. They go, no, no, this is a regular degree and you're just like everybody else. Freeze tag, dude?

Roll the ball. Roll the ball. Yeah, yeah. That's wild. Yeah, community wreck is what it was. Couldn't get into the horseshoe class. What would you do with that? Like go work at a community center?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you would. You know, when you walk into a community center and you see the guy that's like yelling at everybody in the middle of the gym, you're not going to believe this. He went to school for that. You know what? When you put it like that, it's not a big gig. It's a pretty sweet gig. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, it's a pretty sweet gig. I mean, you got kids making more money than you, I believe. But, yeah, I mean, there's no way that you're just bawling out. It's a tough living. No, no, I'm not trying to, you're community directors. You are the heartbeat. I love y'all, but you're catching a stray here. You know, it's crazy, though, they are becoming bigger and bigger.

In the area we grew up outside of Philly, there's a bunch of huge community centers that are like YMCA's, but they're done by the township. Yeah. Pretty sharp. Yeah, it's nice. I smell a second gig for you. I smell a second gig for you. I smell a retirement plan. Somebody get me an application to Jacksonville Christian University College.

What was a college mascot? Gamecocks. Gamecocks. Not bad. What was the high school mascot? Unbelievable. It was the senators. Pretty classy. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, what's your mascot?

We had a guy in a suit running around. Other teams like, what are you going to do? He's got a bill? Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, classy until you have a pep rally. He's filibustering in a show. And a guy in a suit comes out. You're supposed to get fired up. I never thought about it like that. I thought I was supposed to be like a Roman senator.

Like that they all like a, yeah. No, no, ours is John Sparkman is who the school's named after. And he was a state senator. A state senator. that, not even a, not even a U.S. Give it up for the comptrollers, everybody. That's wild. Coming out with a hell of a squad.

We got to say he's had to be a U.S. city. He had to be. Just for the sake of my school. There's no way. That's brutal, dude. My school's named after a county commissioner. It's got to be a U.S. senator. He was kicked out of office after six months.

Oh, for sure. He got caught up. Damn. Okay. All right. I mean, we're off to the races already. You know, what? Was it just you and your brother? No, I have a sister as well.

I'm the oldest by a long shot. And what's your mom do? Hold on. What's how long of a shot? 12 and 16 years. Yeah, that's a long shot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same old and the same parents?

No, different parents. Picked up on that. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't know my dad. You don't know your dad. What do you mean? You said you were working with him. Yeah, that's my stepdad. Yeah, you'd know if we, if you had. He's five, six with black hair.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd go, hey, man. A little Asian guy. This guy's sleeping with your mother. I like how you didn't know what that. All right, hold on a second here. So, okay. All right, so your mom has you.

Yeah, yeah, 18 years old. Your mom has you at 18. West Virginia. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Charleston, West Virginia. I like how you jump to college real fucking way. Well, I was trying to get to hell out of there. I was trying to get out of there.

I go, I got to get to school. I got to get to school. I got to tell them I graduated. They can't realize how this started. Yeah, but didn't you say you went to school for darts? It's like, where did you think you were getting to, man? Just be honest with us. That's the seven-year degree.

That's it. Well, the degree part would have been great. You don't have the degree? No, no, no. I just went forever and got to. Well, I started running a bar. And then once I started running a bar, I go, why do you need a degree if you're the coolest guy that's ever lived? I don't want you fellows to think less than me.

I apologize. All right. All right. So your mom has you at 18. You don't know your dad. Yeah. All right. He summed that up pretty harshly.

People are going to chime. That sounds like the end of the episode. They go, boy. Okay. Oh, man. All right. And when does she meet your stepdad? When I was probably six.

Okay. So it's six. Yeah, yeah. They start a family. Yep, yep. Right? Well, no. They hadn't because you said 12 years.

And then we moved to Alabama. Still no, still just us three. Gotcha. Where they get married? They got married in Alabama. They got married in Alabama. Then they started the family. Yeah, I was 12 when Will was born, 16 when Sarah was born.

Me and Sarah didn't even really share a house. I got a similar vibe too. Will and Sarah, they're two good names. I like that. Were you at that wedding? Your mother and your stepdad. No, they didn't tell me that they were getting married. They said they were going to the Smoky Mountains to hang out for the weekend.

And then when they came back, my dad was allowed to spank me. You know, it happened fast. Wow. That's. Yeah. Well, I got good news and bad news, Derek. Good news is, I'm your dad. Bad news is you get on my leg.

He probably came back all fired up. Wow. Holy shit, they didn't tell you. How was the relationship with the step that were you ingratiate? Do you call him, dad? No, calling Bill. But I talk about him on stage a lot. He was great, man.

He was a great provider. He had a great relationship with my mother. Me and him, it was kind of touch and go because we're so different. Sure. I mean, I'm a real wild card. Yeah, I'm a real wild card. He's a very reserved. conservative guy and I've always been a lot for him but like comes to like just like man to man and a good dude he's he's top-nogged but like yeah I mean his sense of humor isn't like a shining part of his I had the same I had the same sitch going on for a long time I can't take a joke I don't know what to tell you I mean that's yeah that's it that's it he's size a lot yeah okay let me ask you this were you upset so you were so you were how old when I got married um I was probably I was probably I was probably

Probably 10. Okay. When they got back and they were like, we got married, were you like, what the hell? You didn't invite you to the wedding? No, never felt any type of way. I was glad. I liked the, you know, in hindsight. No, no.

I think I appreciated this ability and just having somebody we could count on. And my mom, it all felt like it was coming together because I can remember growing up with just me and my mom. Like, we lived in a very, you know, run down place. And like, we were eating Taco Bell every night. So I like that. I could see the. He's doing that now. I could see the tides turning.

I got you. Yeah. Okay. I respect that. What's the home situation? What kind of house you in? Is it a townhouse, a condo, trailer? When we were first in Alabama, it was a townhouse.

When they got married, we moved in to a home that's like on 15 acres. Oh, nice. Yeah, we did that thing where you buy everything. Like the people that lived there before retired and moved to Florida, they were in their 70s. They left us. Like when we moved. You got the couch. We got the dog.

We got the lawn mower. every tool that he had, everything in the kitchen. They just left the home and all their belongings. This is the 15 acres. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a name for it. They left the... Garbage.

Yeah. I think we got to the bottom of it. We were going to have a yard sale, but she offered us a good number. He gave us $1,200. You can have the dog. What kind of dog was it? It was a Wimer Rainer. What the hell is that?

I thought you weren't joking. No, no, I'm being dead serious. What's a Wimer Rainer? It's a... Sounds like a car. No, it's like a greyhound without the athletic ability. Became a college roommate. Let me tell you all, y'all don't know this, but that description is just...

How do you spell it? Wymer? The athletic ability. Oh, there you get. Wymer and a dog. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who were the people that left you the house? I think they were the Bediros. Just a family friend. Yeah, just, no, we didn't know them. That's how they were selling the home. We're retiring. As is. As is.

Go to a condo or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't have room for the dog. We don't have room for the mower. It's not totally uncommon. This is a thing. I don't know how much it happens anymore, but you just kind of get to move in.

And you can sell what you don't want of theirs, and you keep it. But a lot of the tools, I mean, this man had a giant garden that we went on and ran and such. So we kept all of his tools and all of his lawnmowers. It was a big help. Not a big gig. Yeah, yeah, it wasn't bad at all.

Because I grew up with like eight peach trees, seven apple trees, plum trees, pear trees, an acre garden is like a gentleman's farm. Like, we canned a bunch of stuff. No shit. Gentlemen's form. I don't know the first time I heard that. How were the peaches?

Pretty good, I imagine. Oh, man, it was unreal. I mean, walking home from school growing up, the trees would get so heavy from the peaches, they'd be almost laying on the ground. And I would just eat peaches all the way down the driveway. You know, hey, every few peaches you had to turn around and try to hit a car. Yeah.

But then, yeah, yeah, I'd knock down a few more peaches. It was the best. Mom, throw a cobble together with that. Oh, my goodness. We're going to get into it. Put her whole foot in it. Yeah. Are you kidding me?

Golly. I love a Southern say yeah that's all right okay uh can i ask you this yeah when you were in the townhouse yeah how did you feel about townhouse community living um was there a pool community pool no there wasn't a pool it wasn't yeah yeah you know i mean i was just by my you know i was only child till i was 12 so i used to grab the football we we had uh we had another dog that we already had uh a golden retriever and i would just try to run and he would tackle me and i mean that's all i played i mean i didn't really have anybody around me that I was I mean you know if I would have known that I was a comedian

growing up it had made me and my mom's life a lot easier course right because she said she'd leave me in a room and she'd walk by and it'd sound like there was five people in there but she couldn't figure out what was wrong with me so I was I was a self-intertaining person then when we moved to the house I got you know that changed everything that's a good quote man if I knew I was a comedian it would have made my life a lot easier yeah yeah well because you're constantly in the principal's office and they go we can't tell if you're dumb or if you feel you're you're you just don't care, son. Yeah.

And you go, well, it's neither. I'm just going to always send it if I can. I'm riffing here, dude. Yeah. I'm killing. I mean, I crushed English for an hour until you got in there. Yeah. Yeah.

I once had a teacher said, help me, ask my mom, help me help your son. And I was like, my mom's like, if a teacher ever says it to me again, I'll fucking kill you. I love it. I had a teacher tell my mom that your son's either going to end up in prison or Saturday night live. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Well, fingers scroll. Yeah, no kidding. I can't get over the fact that you were doing Oklahoma drills with the Golden Retriever. I really was. I really was. And, I mean, he won some. I won some. Hey, man.

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Who was the most famous person you met as a kid? Didn't have to be a big celebrity. Could have been a local. News guy or something down there. I met Pete Rose and Boca Rat. Wow. Yeah, as a kid. Yeah.

Get the fuck out of here. He shook his hand. He was at a restaurant. I don't know if it was his restaurant or at a restaurant, but he was signing stuff and shaking hands. And I was with my grandparents. What were you doing in Boca Raton, Florida? Man, it just keeps going.

I don't know my father, but my grandpa, My grandma and grandpa Strupe lived in Boca, and I went and visited them one summer and didn't see my dad or anything, but they wanted to spend time with me. So I spent a summer in Boca Raton where they lived. A summer. Yeah, because the backstory, here's my grand, the Stroops made good money for themselves. And my mother came from a family that was like very blue collar salt to the earth people. Gotcha. And so when my, when Darren got my mother pregnant, it was the rich family getting the poor cheerleader pregnant.

on the wrong side of the track. So he tried to, the Stroops tried to act like it never happened. Wow. So they just, you know, particularly my dad. But my grandparents, I've always been told, wanted to see me and, you know, they were normal people and wanted to, so I spent a summer with them down in Boka. But that was the last time that I'd ever hung out with them. And they were like way more rich than the rest of my family.

It was a really interesting experience. Did they know? So you hadn't met them or anything. And this was trial by fire that you were going to stay with them for the. summer. Yeah, yeah. You know, I probably was around them as a baby and such because, you know, my mom knows them through my dad, but I didn't like know them. What age is this? He did this? I was probably seven, seven or eight. Seven? Yeah, yeah. What'd you think of poker retirement? Coming from, oh, it was just crazy. I could not believe that we went out to eat every night.

I could not believe it. I'll never forget it. I just could not believe. Yeah, nice restaurants. My grandfather, I mean, this, the apple doesn't fall for. far from the he was a huge man that loved to eat and i mean i that's like my memories of like him talking to me about food enjoying food and he was just a big old dude with suspenders on a nerdy guy that made his money through ibn before the computers really took off yeah that's yeah nice so they were kind of retired down yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and what did your dad live um he's still i mean i i i live in and yeah i love the fact that you call him darren yeah yeah and it's also i mean i kept my last name, you know, my, my stepdad wanted me to take his last name when I was 16 and I didn't.

And it became a kind of a personal thing. But I always felt like my biggest revenge would be not to disappear. So kind of the chip on my shoulder was like, I'm going to keep the last name. I just got chill. And then I'm, you know, I'm going to come back for you. Yeah, you can't ignore me. You cannot because then they win. Even at that age, it's crazy. I already understood that. I go, if I get rid of strupe, then they've erased me. But if I keep strew, then I then they can't you know because that's kind of like my you know a little bit of my drive is like uh shoving it up his ass yeah you know with excuse my language no what you mean yeah and i don't even know talking about vengeance here yeah and i don't even you know him or have any reason to meet him but it's just like i yeah i still

something you carry yeah yeah the same chip because the older you get and the better you like you you you know, you see how great your mother is and your grandmother. Yeah. That's what builds from. I just had my parents got divorced. Dad, I don't talk to my dad anymore. I had a kid seven months ago and it's like, Oh, yeah.

Completely changed my perspective of, absolutely. Of any, what she has done, what everybody had did and how I was a fuck up. No, no, I totally. I had a baby boy four months ago. Oh, congratulations, my man. Yeah, yeah. So, no, I get it. I feel like Denzel Washington on Man on Fire.

Oh, dude. Like, I'm just walking down the street. And I'm like, whoever wants it can get it. Man, you are fucking speaking our language. Yeah. Woo-wee. Yeah, it's, yeah, that's a, that's a, yeah, that's a, yeah, that's a, yeah, that's a, that's a, yeah, that's for a different podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's for a different podcast.

But your dad wasn't down there in Boka the summer you were there. No, no, he was, he was not there. I spent that just with, uh, my, my, uh, my grandparents and hung out of them. And that's pretty, I mean, that's, night, it was nice of them to. Yeah, absolutely. It was more, even, it's even crazyer. It was more of my grandfather than even my grandmother. My grandpa Stroop was a great man.

He was just very quiet and they kind of ran over him, you know, and he kind of took it, you know. Hey, yeah, he was the reason. He was the one that was like, I want to hang out, you know, with my grandson. Man, I love that. Wow. Yeah. Well, I mean, what a Jesus Christ. Yeah, well, I was trying to see.

I go, I'm just feeding a little bit of line at a time here. It's like you're crabbing. I go, how much do they? I go, I got a little more line than you think I've got. You got me eating raw bacon over here. I know how to get the Cribs. I was a bunker boy. All right, huh.

What was the grocery store that you went to growing up? When we say growing up, we'll consider Alabama. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alabama's where I have all my memories for the most part. Okay, so Bruno's Win Dixie. Win Dixie. What was Bruno's nicer probably? Yeah, yeah.

Bruno's was probably nicer, but Win Dixie was just a southern. The go-to. Yeah, yeah, and southern grocery stores are unbelievable. Now Publix has taken that play. Yeah. You go into Publix and you're like, all you people have health care clearly. I mean, nobody cares about lemons being this much taking care of.

Yeah. This is when we had a little bit of cash, right? When your stepdad was working for your, when he's working for his father. Yep, that's right. That business was good. Yeah, man, booming. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I had a four-wheeler growing up. Nice. What kind? Okay. 300 Honda four tracks. Oh, man, I had to make A's and B's to get it. And so I made A's and B's just that. Just that semester.

Okay. Just to get it? Yeah, yeah. And then it was just leverage for the rest of my life. Nice. Just held over my head. That dude, a fucking, you got a quad and you got 15 acres. Oh, yeah.

Zipping around? If you can't close that deal, you're garbage. Yeah. Did you guys make any money off of the farm portion of the property? No, no. That's what a gentleman's farm is, is where you have a lot of produce and you don't sell it. You kind of keep it for yourself, can it. You might give it to your friends.

That might be, when you said heat check out there, I was like, that's a sweet saying. You said gentleman's farm. Yeah. That's a gentleman's farm. This guy's chock full of good lines. Yeah, I like that. This guy's got a little word play. A little word play.

You should be an entertainer, kid. Okay, is it ground beef or hamburger meat? Gosh, it's ground beef. Okay, I did not expect that. Respect it. Ever have a rat tail? No, have I ever had a rat tail? No.

Ever attend a wedding in someone's backyard? Yeah, for sure. Who was it? Do you remember? No, because it was in their backyard. I don't drink anymore, but you black out at backyard weddings. That's for sure. It's a keg out there. You ever have a radio in the shower?

Like one that sticks on the wall. No, no. Okay. Was the house, were you guys feeling yourselves on the classiness when you had the cash going at the? Did everybody have their own bedrooms? No, we all had our own bedrooms. It was still a tiny, it still was not a very big house. I mean, like I remember trying to talk to.

girls in high school and I would like lay under my clothes with a blanket on top so nobody could could hear me like I mean there was no privacy okay pretty small house I got you all right what were the what were the family cars around that time what was the old man driving the old man uh like a true southerner had an old beat up truck um that he would drive around uh especially to take me to school to embarrass me sometimes and then he had a Nissan truck uh I mean both of them were pretty beat up my mom had a nicer Ford Explorer. That Nissan truck. Do you remember what it was called?

Wasn't an S-Hundra? SE something, was it? Yeah, yeah, those small Nissan trucks that like... Not super small, but like... No, no, yeah, but they lasted forever. Yeah, we had the same one. I mean, it lasted forever. I mean, it was a stick shift.

I mean, yeah, yeah, I mean... Nice. You could drive stick? Not anymore. I have in my life, but there's no way I would never want to anymore. Yeah. I think learning, like...

Seems so archaic now. I think you'd be able to do it. It's like... Yeah, maybe. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I really... He doesn't sound too confident. No, no, no.

I mean, I haven't, listen, it just keeps unraveling. I haven't drove in 15 years. And we're back. What the fuck? I mean, it's just... Why? I got two DUIs. Okay.

And you're sober now? Yes. 15 years ago, I got two DUIs, 16 years ago. And I haven't drank in five years, but yeah, I haven't drove since I haven't had my license since I got my DUIs. Are you able to get it and just haven't gotten it? That's correct. Yeah, I got my... As some of a lot of friends have...

family who've had a couple of DUIs, nobody gets 15 years. No. That should have been only six months and expung. You're right. And people think that all the time. I think they don't believe me, too. And I'll tell them, they'll go, I don't think he can get his life. I can.

Now, when we moved from Denver to here, we had to get a U-Haul. So I got my learner's permit so my wife didn't have to drive. Hey, look at you. Yeah. I knocked it down on the first try. I didn't even study. You should. You're fucking 40 years old.

What do you mean? You're bragging about hitting your learners. I know a stop sign when I see one. Can we go to all? of garden now you got your permit yeah buddy just look at you that's crazy dude haven't drove in 15 years i'll drive all to get a you all to get a you hall too yeah i'll drive in this city by myself though sometimes hold on take me through that timeline so it's 15 years ago that you that you haven't driven where you're in Denver no i'm in jacksonville florida alabama okay so you're not

going to believe how long i was in that college town wait yeah okay so you don't really need a car there uh in jacksonville alabama you need a car so what the hell we you doing? Relying on friends that eventually gave up on you. Oh, yeah. I was riding around. I lost everything. I lost all my money. I got evicted. I was riding around on a bicycle smoking cigarettes off the ground outside of McDonald. So you're Ricky Bobby. Yeah, yeah. No, move back and with my parents. I'm 30 years old. Try to work with my dad. I work with him for like three days. He's like doing. Landscaping. Yeah, he's breaking his back. I'm trying to tell him if you learn how to make a French drain and do some irrigation, you can make a bunch more money. We don't have to hedge these bushes and get bullied out here. And we blew up and got in a

fight. And there was a girl that I was talking to at the time that lived in Denver was going to massage therapy school. I come home. I go, I got no money. I just got kicked out of my dad's family business. I go, I'm going to move to Denver and I'm going to kind of chase this dream. And that is where it kind of really started. The dream of dating a massage therapist, my guy. If that ain't the dream, I don't know what it is. He already hit the jackpot. What are you chasing? No, it was not. Buddy, you can retort now. Yeah.

So there you go. Yeah. I know what you mean about the irrigation thing. You were kind of like, hey, let's get a little more landscape design, a little bit. Put the beds in a little bit. Yeah, let's make more money. When French drains hit. Yeah, yeah.

That was, dude, me and my dad put French drains into his house. Guess what he does now? French trains? French. All the time. Oh, that's a big ticket. No, no, no. And he never, he's never like, Derek, I know that time.

I told you you were an idiot. He made you get out of the suburban. No, no, no. No, he'll die. I mean, he'll be sitting there having a heart attack. Oh, man. Holy shit. So you moved to Denver.

That's where you started comedy. That's where I really started. One summer. The move back in at 30 is a big topic. Nightmare. Yeah, I had to do it. We've everybody, you know, listen, every dirt bag worth their weight and salt has fucking died. I think I was there when I was 40.

He might be back pretty soon if we're being honest. What? Things ain't going great for the big dog. Things ain't going great She don't make no cobbler I'll tell you that That ain't no gentleman's farm down air either You're a great cook Patty

I love you Um Did you that the move back into 30 Yeah Right DUI's already happened Yeah Yeah so you're like

This is this is crashing out Oh I've got nothing Did you go back into the same room No no no Basement Sunroom Sunroom Yeah yeah 5am

I mean every life The world Yeah, 90 degrees outside, 340 in the sun room. You live in a greenhouse. I just held bagel bites in my hand and watched them sizzle. Wait, why they, why not? Did they not, was that like? They'd already moved on with their life.

You got the two younger siblings. Can't move the computer room? My sister, she's still at home when I come back for all this. And she's just in shock. I mean, you know, it was wild. That was for sure the lowest point. But that was the turning point. That's kind of like when I was like, no.

I got to get it together. Yeah, yeah, because I would not be, you know, long, very, very long story short. I would not be a comedian or chasing this dream or have any of the edge that I've got if I did not just have my face buried in the dirt. Sure. It changed how I look at everything. Yeah. We know right where you're talking about, brother. That's fantastic.

Holy shit. Were you in a bed in the sunroom? Yeah, yeah. I had a bed in there. So it wasn't really a functioning sunroom once you got in there. that was kind of like, all right. It was like the guest room already. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, so it was quasi a bedroom. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, let's talk about that for a second. Yeah. Your parents had a guest room in the sunroom. Yeah. So, like, if an aunt or an uncle or a family friend came to stay. Got to get in a microwave.

What the fuck is that? I mean, I told you, we lived in a small house. The sunroom was an addition we added on. Very nice. Yeah, yeah. I mean, before that it was like a bird house with a bath. I mean, it was tiny. Damn.

Wow. Okay. And no car. No car. So what did you? And they wouldn't let me go and like nobody was, my parents were completely done with me at this point. Uh-huh. They were done.

They were done like, not like being like, you know, nasty to my face. It's just no more favors. Right. No more money. Yeah, you wore out your welcome a little bit. No more, you know, no more giving you a rides to places. So what were you doing? I was just in there plotting my revenge.

And you know what's so crazy? And I feel this connection with you. It's so crazy. to be plotting your revenge in a situation you created, but it still works. And you got no resources at the time. It still works. That's my whole life, man.

I am mad at the world. I have created all these problems, but you will pay for it. And I don't know who you is, but when I find you. I will have my vengeance on Derek's group at some point. Mom, bagel bites! What?

Wow. This really could have took a hard left turn. I'm glad you became a comedian. Uh, yeah. Sunroo or manifesto. What, when you're asking them for, when you're asking them for money, yeah. What is someone I asked, I had to ask my mother for money well into probably about four years ago,

until this popped off. I just owed my mom 400. I swear to God, I just gave it back to her. What? That's crazy. That is crazy. We're nationally touring famous comedians. That's crazy.

I agree. I agree. I don't have access to some account. He keeps saying that and I don't know what it means. Our business manager doesn't know what it means. Venmo's playing hardball with me. Hey, I'm not a trial here. God damn it.

A little bit. What are the denominations you're asking? Are you going, let me get 40, 20, like, let me get 20 bucks. Just to make it due today. You're like, let me get a pack of a seat. What's the 24? What do we think? Just, I mean, at the time, I think I was smoking cigarettes at the time.

What brand if you don't mind me asking? What are you going to do? Parliament. The blue ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This kid is, why are you out of your mind? No, P-Funk's, we're all right. Come on, man.

We're talking what? How old are you? There's layers to me, 41. Yeah, so we're talking early 2000s? Parliament, sunroof, no license, massage therapist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 2010. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 2012.

Okay. Yeah. Still, P-Funk, Parliament and Light is a very enjoyable cigarette. Thank you. I bottomed out. I just did it for a couple years. I bottomed out at 32. That's when I moved to Philly to start comedy, so.

Yeah. That's when I was, I was, I was back at my mom's for, for a minute and then on my friend's couch for the back of your mom. Let me tell you, though, and you know this because, I mean, that's a shared experience. Let me tell you, a comedian that's lost everything or somebody that's starting comedy that's lost everything is a dangerous person. Because you're not going to scare me. There's not a set that I get, that's going to shake me up. I've lost everything. I'm doing this just so I can convince myself that this is all worth still doing out here. living. Like I'm, I can just remember getting to Denver and thinking if all these other people got two DUIs, lost all their money in their cars and their parents trust, they'd be writing a little

sharper too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'd be hitting that late open mic. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Because I wasn't doing it because I was trying to scratch a creative itch and I just want to be heard. I just want to try it. No, man, I've burned it all down. I'm going to have to build this back one brick at a time. And it's starting here at the lines where at midnight. This is plan B. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're live. Yeah, yeah.

That's like when we moved up here, I mean, we were. Gunned to the back of the head. I was on a, not a futile. It was a couch that folded right onto the floor. Like, just like the, it was like an IKEA love seat. Yeah. It all went on the pad was like this. And I mean, I slept on the floor of my buddy's apartment for 10 months.

I don't even know how long. And then I got a room and then his sister moved in. And I was like back on the floor. So it was like, it was all. He was sleeping under a kitchen table at our buddy's house for a handful of months. It was an IKEA table. It was nice. So it's just like when you're like, I'm not very well, I'm not here to express myself.

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Results may vary. See chime.com for details and applicable terms. And also, when you've hit rock bottom like that, I was just making me think about you being there 10 months. I also, people should have these experiences because I know who my boys are. Oh, dude. I know who my boys are. I was just thinking. I got no doubt in these three or four men that are in my life, they are my boys because when I was down, down, down, down.

had nothing to offer them but my friendship. It was plenty to them. Everybody else, if you've never seen the darkness, you got this golfing putty you've had for 20 years, if you've never had any tension or had this guy need you to give you a ride somewhere or him be like, hey, I got, man, I know my boys. Yeah, I got five or six boys that it's like. They have carp lot.

They could call me and be like, you got to drive to California right now and I go, I am so indebted to you with an amount of money I cannot pay back. Absolutely. Am I one of those guys? What? We'll be right. We were in it together. What are you talking about?

I mean, but at the same time, there was times that were like my cell phone would get shut off. Yeah. And I'd have no money. And like I'd call him. He'd have 40 bucks. Yeah. He was waiting table. So he had access to cash.

That was the best. I had like a corporate, not a corporate, but I had like an office job. So mine was every two weeks. So he would get cash. And I'd be like, if he had 40 bucks, he gave me 20 bucks. Yeah, yeah. I juiced the shit out of him now. Yeah, I know.

Never let me live a town either. But yeah. It still owes me 15. I'll say nothing. You need those guys in your corner. Wow, absolutely. All right. Holy shit, Strupe.

You're a very dangerous man. Very deep and profound as well. All right, so you get to Denver. Yeah. Jesus fucking Christ. You're 30, 1, 32, whatever. You get to the high ground. Literally.

You retreat to high ground. Literally. Let the heat wear out. That's the realest thing. That's true. That's great. Maybe I can see them coming from here. Listen, if they want to get me, they're going to have to try.

You know what I mean? They got to come up. I can see this Derek Stroop coming from here trying to destroy me. Hey, Colorado is a great escape state. It is, man. There's tons of people. It's a cowboy. Very cowboy. Well, that and just people can go there.

Nobody really cares, like, where you came from, what you're doing there. It's a very, people start over there a lot. And they say, if the shit ever really hit the fan, that's, that's, I mean, that's one of the holdups. That's right. That's a flood. That's, you know, it's the high ground. That is. That is.

Okay. All right. So you get there. What's that? We're getting real dark. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. We're on the same page.

Jesus. Tunnels under the airport. We're all losing it. Get a slice of pizza relax, will you? I know, man. What's that look like? What's that, you know, just live in situation early on? Any friends?

Did you know anybody? And why? Oh, Denver was the, was the massage therapist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, she was up there. Have you started comedy at this? this point? Yeah, yeah, I have.

Yeah, I have. You're in it. Yeah, yeah, I've done it. I'd never, like, like, been in a scene or anything. I was doing some shows in Alabama. Bars, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just like, but never been to an open mic. I'd never been in a scene.

I was just really shooting from the hip. Alabama, there was no real thing going on at the time. And then, so I joined the comedy scene in Denver. And, I mean, I was great. Yeah, it was great. I did two open mics and then I quit for eight months because I just couldn't wrap my head around having to tell a joke in three to four. minutes because when I was in Alabama, I would just get up and I could talk for as long as I

wanted to, you know, because I was doing it at the bar that I ran. Excuse me. In Alabama, I was a general manager of a bar. I'd put myself up. I'd take a bunch of Yeager bombs, shoot some Evan Williams, do 45 minutes of just ranting. Never been to a mic or met a comedian. I was just trying to, you know, I was like, if I hear a wagon wheel one more time, I'm going to kill myself. That's a great song. So I just made up my own entertainment. So when I came to Denver, I had, I learned some lessons really quick. Kind of got my feelings hurt. had to go back and regrouped. Did the same thing.

And then when I came back, I was like, all right, you know what to expect. You're going to get hit in the mouth here, but you know what to expect. And then, you know, the rest is history. Wow. How'd you meet the massage therapist again? In college. Oh, you knew her from college. In Jacksonville.

Yeah, yeah. All right. So you knew her from college. Yeah. Didn't you reconnected a little bit? Yeah, yeah. We were like off and on for a long time. And she's like, I'm in Denver now.

Yeah, yeah. Becoming a massage therapist. That's right. Why don't you come up here? Yeah. She was like, I think you'll like. like it, you know. And you moved in with her. Yeah, her and like, I mean, you know, like three other roommates that you meet off Craigslist.

It was a. Was she already up there? Handbag of people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she was with the roommates. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they were all, I mean, yeah. You got, you moved into her room. Yeah, yep. So you were a guy staying in one of the roommate's rooms.

Yes. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was a house that where they were like renting out rooms, essentially. Uh-huh. This was like the first six months that I lived there and then got a place downtown after that. and I live there for the... With you and her. Yeah, for just a little bit. And then we separated. Gotcha.

I'm married to a totally different woman now. Totally. I've never heard anybody say totally different. Like, you know, just to create that distance, nothing like the massage therapy. Nothing. To a totally different woman. She doesn't have roommates or anything.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, man, that's all right. What are you doing for money at this time? I got a job at Sports Authority when I first moved there. And I didn't even have a... My license wasn't valid at this time because it was still. Are you driving? No, not driving.

So I go to Sports Authority. How you get there? I Ubered there. And I mean, the lady, I don't have an ID, you know, that's valid, a valid driver's license. She has to really, like, work with the company to get me the job. But I interviewed so well. I got a loud guy down here. Yeah.

I got this guy from Alabama. He's got no ID. I don't know what it is, but we need him on the team. He can move hockey sticks. That's what happened. They were like, we got to have him. And so that's it. And then after that I worked at big lots.

Yeah. You did? You worked at a big lot. Cashier? What'd you do? I was the furniture manager and one of the best in the state, my man. Yeah. Yeah.

I was sitting there. Smacking. I know that's slinging Ashley furniture. I don't. Ashley furniture. I don't have a lot of experience in the big lots, but I like it. Yeah. Yeah.

It's not around anymore, but there's none? Yeah. I think there's some outside of helping on. I mean, there might be hanging on, but they're bankrupt. They're going out of business for sure. My kind of place. Yeah. Now's where we pounce.

Okay. You know, Jesus Christ. I mean, where do you, I don't even, you know, how do you pivot for that? Let's talk about now. Let's talk about now. Okay. A little bit. I got before, I got some, just some, just some, just send it nowhere to go.

What the fuck. I got some overarching, you know, just, you know, some touch points that we do with every guess. How old were you when you got your passport? Okay. I got my passport when I got my passport when I, I was... What do you think this is going to be? 38.

38. Yeah. Where were you go to Montreal? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You already know. That's not a dirtbag comic.

I don't know. Yeah. I love it. Respect. 38. What was the first time you had Nutella? Probably like five years ago. Yeah.

I want to go to Spanish for it. Why isn't it for you? Yeah, I don't love it. Yeah. It's too European for you. Are you a peanut butter man? Oh, my God. I got some on me right now.

What brand you're banging with? I mean, Jiff, and I went crunchy. You're crunchy guy. Yeah, extra crunchy. I wish I could put my, I'll add some extra. I love peanuts. I eat them all the time. I like peanuts in a shell.

I'll just stand on my patio and just knock them down like I'm at a ballgame. Wait, with the, not. Not, I take them out of the shell. Do you like boiled peanuts, I assume? Oh, my God. Southern man? I love them. Very nice.

Chunky peanut butter. What's the jelly? Strawberry, a great man? We can mix. it up. I'll try a few different. I like orange. I like grape. I like strawberry. I like Blackberry. We can, you know, let me tell you apple butter. Y'all had apple butter? I know apple butter. I'm not well versed. Oh, man. My grandmother makes it homemade. That stuff, I mean, it would turn you upside down. Were you knocking out some jams and jellies back on the,

back on the gentleman's farm? I assume, not you. No, they were, we didn't really, we mainly just like froze or canned the fruits or vegetables and my parents I mean they would really make cobblers and different but apple butter is something that my family's always made yeah god damn it that's good um have you ever ordered a soda with no ice um no no I've poured it that way at my house before but I would not order it. Okay what is the go-to soda uh I'm gonna have Diet Coke I mean in a perfect world you know There's a lot of things I would do if I didn't care about living longer. As a younger man.

Yeah, I mean, I'll smoke a mountain dude. Yeah, I mean, I'll smoke once. Are you a Dr. Pepper guy? No. What? No, I'm not a Dr. Pepper guy at all. Really? Yeah, I mean, I'll have it sometimes, but.

Fascinating. Yeah, yeah, I know. I mean, it's always, are you a Dr. Pepper guy? Of course. Yeah, I can tell by your reaction. I can just see the stockpile in your home. I mean, Dr. Pepper people buy it like the government's going to take it from them. So, Mr. Pibbs?

Yeah, yeah. I like Mr. Pib better than Dr. Pepper. Okay. Preferably, you know, in a fountain. Yeah. Chipotle did a Mr. Pib's extra. Oh, man. Are you a big ice guy, would you say?

Do you like? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You fill the cup up? I love some ice. All right. Yeah, yeah. Love some ice. Crushed?

Crushed? Yeah, I prefer, but I would like the, like, sonic ice. Yeah, the pellets. Yeah, the pellets. With you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good ice. That is.

They sell the, who was it? Heather McMahon has the thing. like a hundred bucks or something. You can get on Amazon and it makes that ice on the countertop. That is incredible. Are you biting your nails or do you clip them? Gosh, both. It just depends on how the ball game's going.

Where do you put? Who's your team? I got a few of them. I'm a big Nuggets fan, first of all. Okay. And I'm a lifelong commander's fan as well. Okay. Those would be the two that would stress me out the most.

And I'm a West Virginia Mountaineers fan. Gentlemen, I respect that. Are you a baseball guy at all? Yeah, but I like it live. And I like ballparks almost more than I like the game. Hmm. Yeah.

Very interesting. I respect that. Who's your baseball team? I grew up a Braves fan. I also got a lot of love for the Rockies because I lived like six blocks from the field. And I mean, no humidity is a great ballpark. I'll give it to you. Yeah.

I'm with you. All right. Have you ever checked into a hotel with your own cooler? No. No. When you're at a hotel, will you swim in the pool? Absolutely. Will you worry if you have a suit on you or not?

A pair of shorts work? Yeah, a pair of shorts work. Cool. When you walk back to the room, you're putting your flip-lops on or you walk to the hotel barefoot. I'm putting my flip-lops back on. Okay. You're just going to have to deal with the. We're all dogs after the lobby.

It's crazy. I've never seen anything. He'll do shirtless. A pair of trunks, no shoes and just go, he'll talk to you. If you're in a lobby, he'll go, hey, what room are you in? You guys want to pop down for breakfast? I can smell the days in. He's walking through.

Yeah, yeah, it was. Do you like a hotel breakfast at a two, three-star, hotel? Not really. I mean, I'll try to fight through it, you know. I tried to do yesterday, and it's just, it's just not worth it. I would rather, much rather go to the airport and eat a McDonald's breakfast. Much rather. Respect that. We're big breakfast at the airport. Oh, I'm big fast food at the airport. I think it's a better product. Like Burger King, a great product, bad company. But if you can get them in an airport, there's trap them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, now you got them where you want them. Now the food's coming through pretty quick.

You're going to get a whopper like you had back in the 90s, the ones that we really fell in love with. But anyway, I'm with y'all on that. All right. I respect that. What would be your normal go-to fast food outside of the airport? Outside of the airport, if I had to go fast food. And do we? Yeah.

You're trying to stay away from that? What is it? Are you trying to stay away from that these days? Yeah, yeah. I tried to, but I'm much more of a diner guy. I would much, much rather. You like a waffle house? New Yorker.

I like a Waffle House. Okay, I'm sorry. No, no, no, I love. I think Waffle House, the Anthony Bourdain episode where he goes to a Waffle House, I want to play at my funeral. Wow. I don't think I've ever seen it. Oh, you got to see it because he tells every, it's the best.

I'm a huge Waffle House fan. I wish there was some, I mean, in New York City, they'd burn to the ground. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I do love them. What's your go-to at a Waffle House? I'm going to get probably the All-Star, and I'm going to get a pecan, waffle. I'm going to do my eggs over easy. I'll probably

choose sausage and bacon. Yeah. Eggs, did I say scrambled with cheese? Respect that. You said over easy. Okay, two different types. Doubling up on the eggies. No, I was thinking, I do go both ways, but like when I have a waffle, I like my eggs to be runny because I run a combo with the runny eggs and the waffle.

But yeah, yeah, that's probably what I'll go with. The pecan waffle at Waffle House, you've got to try it if you've never I find out a lot of northeastern guys have never had a pecan waffle and it can really We didn't I didn't hit a waffle house so we were I mean we were on tour probably three years ago And now it's like we stop yeah it's a very consistent meal too yeah oh yeah I mean it's fast Yeah and they're right there you walk in you smell it the guy's cooking it he's cooking it right there's one guy and he's he's handle on like 75 orders and you look like he looks like he's gonna fuck it up and he don't It's out it's crazy it's crazy it's crazy you hear them yelling out the orders and I'm like this guy's no chance this fucking guys got no Face tattoo with an ankle bracelet on making eggs fluffier than Gordon Ramsey.

It's crazy. It's crazy. I don't know what it is. Ex-addicts, ex-cons. Man, they know how to work a fucking griddle, don't they? Shout out to them. That's what you want doing the eggs. You really do.

Anyone in your family smoke a pipe. Smoke a pipe. No, nobody smokes a pipe. Did you do prom? I did, just my senior year. Okay. Did you go with friends or did you go with a lady? I went with a lady.

How'd you get there? We took a limo Very nice Yeah Which is like A group of us Yeah But we did go to a separate

Restaurant Me and my date This is very on brand For me because The restaurant everybody chose Was not where I wanted to go Wait you went out to eat Before the prom?

Yeah yeah We did Huh Yeah Or yeah before Yeah Is that a southern shit? Maybe it is

But yeah we all went out to eat Before you go out to eat For prom dinner And they went to I can't remember Where they went to But I went to A place called Landry

Seafood Because I wanted To use my parents Money to get crab legs Landry seafood. Yeah. Yeah. In Huntsville, Alabama.

That's right. That's pretty good. Woo. I assume you were frozen. You a seafood guy? Oh, yeah. Not fish. I love all shellfish. Like crabs, oysters, lobster clams, mussels, anything that's in a shell.

I don't like real fishy stuff. I'll eat a group or sandwich. But, uh, yeah. If you twist my horn. Yeah. If y'all had a group of sandwich, it's a little fluffier, mild fish. But on the Gulf Coast, go down the Pensacola, get you a group or sandwich. you know, start up a conversation with the guy with no sleeves on.

Oaster man. Yeah, oh, yeah. We're on the half shell. Yeah. We're all in the half show. Oh, and I'll do them bake, too. You know, I mean, I... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I can go both ways. Back when I was drinking, come on, man. Raw oysters with an ice cold beer. Just let me sit here forever. Stop. It's so good. If I just didn't get up and drive every time. Hmm.

Any pets now? No, man. but I had a cat for a long time that I talked about on stage that I loved dearly. Passed away? Yeah. I'm sorry, bud.

Yeah. What was the first car for you? We don't think we touched on it. I had a Toyota Camry, a 98 Toyota Camry. Wow, that's a nice whip right there. It's pretty good. To you guys, I dreamed of a truck

my whole life. Sure. And then I got this. What was the first concert you attended? The first concert ever went to, I don't know, was with my mom, just me and her.

her and it was Billy Ray Cyrus and Charleston, West Virginia at the regatta that they have down by the river. Yeah, man. And she was so pumped. I can remember I was probably like six, seven years old. And I mean, we sang Akey Breaky Heart at the top of our lungs. That's a good one.

Billy Ray was on fire. This was like 1990. The height of it. I mean, the absolute, he came out and shook his hair and I mean, yeah, my mom was having another kid. It's crazy. That guy had a fucking ass on him. Yeah, man.

You had those tight jeans back in the day, too. That's fantastic. Oh, I've heard. Yeah, I'm. Uh-huh. You're married now. Yeah, I am. Right?

Where did you guys get married? Uh, Pensacola, Florida. You got married to Pensacola. You got married to Pensacola. Tad to Gruper. I had no sleeves on. I was wondering what the hell you were doing down there. Okay.

Or how you got down there. Where? What was the, what was the venue? Oh, we were on the beach. There was like 20 of us, 25 of us. Nice. Small, like, yeah, it was very pretty pretty. Lots of flowers.

intimate thing my family her family we stayed there for the week and then got married at the end of the week it was great very nice and how long ago was this how long we got married uh may 11th of this year 2025 excuse me very nice all right so newlyweds was there any uh congratulations congratulations uh was there any honeymoon um no no honeymoon yet they were in pensacola yeah what else you got to ask for we went to Dave and Busters twice. Okay. Is there anything in the books of like, hey, in two years we'll go? Yeah, yeah, we talk about it.

I mean, where's the wish list? My Greece is where we would like to. Very nice. Yeah, yeah. That's where she really, really wants to go. So, yeah, we've talked about it. It doesn't sound like you really, really want to go there. Yeah, it's all right.

I'm just a little nervous about, you know, I guess that long of travel. I don't know, even though I fly more than pilots do. I mean, you know. Okay. Speaking of flying, you do name-bring. Grand luggage? What are you banging on? Yeah, yeah.

I got a swami, swammy, uh, Samsonite. Uh, come on. Samsonite. Come on. It's good. Um, at the, do you eat cereal still or no? Are you kidding me? Do you have it on top of the refrigerator at the house?

No, if there was space, I would. Yeah, yeah. There's a cabinet above it that doesn't, the way it's layered. It's where I put my medicine. You mean like your pills and stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's trashy too. I like that.

That's trashy, too. I never thought about that. Before I grab this bacon, I better do the blood pressure. Yeah, the pills in the kitchen. Same way. I love it. What boxes of cereal in the house right now? I've got frosted mini-weets and honeynut Cheerios.

Whoa. I got to give you classy on that one, like a gentleman. Yeah, that's too solid adult. Those are adult cereals. What milk are you banging? I do whole milk. Good man. I know.

You're doing a gallon or half a gallon? I don't know why, but a half a gallon every time. It's okay. I don't know what it is. It's a little less indulgent or something to feel. One of the things, I hate carrying things more than anything in the world. I hate carrying anything. So anyways, yeah.

Ever on a keyboard? You know, Cassio. Have I ever wet a keyboard? Owned one. No, no. Have you ever, okay. No, go ahead. Sorry, when you were, back when you were smoking, would you ever get into the car with a lit cigarette?

Yeah. I assume you would eat in the car as well. Yeah, yeah, I'll eat in the car. I mean, I can help. I mean, it's like a magic trick. I can truly just house things. Like, sometimes I don't even know if it really happened. What's the vacuum?

Just got the trash. Would they even give me a sandwich? Was this empty? Did they just get me trash? I come home with an empty bag. I look at my wife. I go, again. Who's to say?

What's the vacuum cleaner at the house right now? You got a Dyson? What do you got a shark? I got a shark. Yeah, yeah, still in the box. What do you mean? It's great. Did you just move in?

No, no, moved in a year ago. It's just hasn't, we haven't taken it out. My wife's just been sweeping and then I'll sweep sometimes. But yeah, we haven't really dug in. I think we got it for Christmas, maybe. Still in the box. Oh, that makes sense. It's all wood in there.

Sure. Sure. It's all wood in there. Sure. Talking about it like it's a ship. When I walk barefoot, I get most of it. If I squeeze my toes together, I get most of the crumbs. Let's go a couple old school cues.

You're pee in the shop. Yeah, for sure. You brush your teeth in there? Oh, yeah, for sure. Is your toothbrush in the shower? Absolutely not. Okay. I reach out onto the sink.

Gentlemen. Gentlemen. Okay. Will you pee in a pool? Depends. On? The amount of people that are around me, like, if it's like just packed with people, I'll have a little bit of a conscience. Sure.

But, yeah, I'll pee in a pool. If you're by yourself at a Ramada. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I don't even get in to pee in it. I'll do it from the chair. Yeah. Okay. If you dribble a little bit on the toilet seat as you're peeing.

Yeah. Will you do a little, you got your socks on? Will you give it a little wipe or now? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Do a little. I will always wipe. Yeah. Okay.

How, if now, let's say you, you know, you got to do number two. It's in a way game. You're out. You're on the road, whatever. Are you doing anything to the public toilet seat to clean it? Are you laying it down? You wiping, your eyeballing it. I carry the United.

hand wipes on me. The little like blue square packet United hand wipes they give you. They're like these little sanitizers. You mean from the airline company? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they pass them out and I fly United all the time. You're United, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Interesting. And you save them. And you save them and I use them for public toilets if I, like, I travel with them. You got them in your bag, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I will wipe down the toilet. That's pretty good. And then I'll sit down with just all the confidence.

Bearbacking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Long way from that sunroom, huh? Yeah. This guy, United Wipes. Have you ever under a butterfly knife or a switchblade? No, no. Chinese star?

Love the restaurant. I know what you're talking about. Huh. Give me one poster that was on your wall as a kid. One poster that was on the wall as a kid. Let me think. Probably be, I wasn't a poster guy, man. So this is a struggle for me.

Brett Farve. I'll give me that. Good one? You are, very nice. You know how to use chopsticks? I do. My wife had to fix that. Okay.

Are you confident with it? No, I'm confident with it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you get the steak cooked? Medium rare. Gentlemen. Yeah, you can't make it. I mean, I'd be more mad if you went more the medium direction than the rare direction.

Okay. What about the burger? Medium's fine. Medium's fine. We were talking, before we started, we were talking about steakhouses a little bit. So you go to Del Friscoes for like a celebration or a nice steak. What's that? What's that whole order looking?

Like, what's the appetizer? What's the drink? What's the steak? Usually for the appetizer, I'll go like scallops or shrimp. I like to do like a seafood appetizer. Very nice. Maybe both. And then I'm going to do a ribeye.

Bone in is what I'd prefer. But I don't want the biggest one. Sometimes I see a 20-ounce steak or something. I'm like, who's this for, man? It's wild. I'm a sides guy. You know what I mean? I'm a sides guy.

Listen, this is our theory. Most New York steakhouses all can throw out a solids. The steak's not going to be that big of a variable. It's the sides and the vibes of the place. That's exactly right. So, you know, a 12-ounce bone in or something, maybe a 14-ounce rabbi, and then my sides, I mean,

I'll go over the top with it. I'll do some creamed spinach. We can do some mashed potatoes. Yeah, we can. And, you know, I don't know what the third one might be. Oh, Caesar salad. Always. Always. Always a Caesar salad. Love them. Love them. So, yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Very well put. I mean, it's like he's one of us. I know. It's crazy. He's a southern combination of me and you. It's wild. He's in between a size-wise. It's very, it's very crazy.

If we ever started an RU garbage southern fraction, he would be the guy. He's talking about the seas. I know. Big sides guy. We've said for a long time we're big sides guy. I love that. Those apps that you get, you're out with the bulls. or maybe you're at with the misses.

You're sharing the apps, right? Yeah. You're a solo apps guy. No, no, no. I'm sharing the abs. I love to share. Like, I'm going to taste this. You're not going to believe it.

I'm going to have a bite of that. Spread the wealth. Yeah, yeah. Now, if you go to a restaurant, will you ask for, you get side of the table? You don't like, will you ask for a different table? No, no. But they're always trying to put me at the bar and I like to sit at tables. I do have that preference.

Okay. And I'm not a booth guy either because I don't need to know how big I am. I know. The booths are tough. So I don't need the table trying to cut me in half. Which is my one critique of the Waffle House. Small Booths are Waffle House. It's wild.

For sure. For such a larger gentleman's culture. Yeah, yeah. For the clientele. Yes. Yeah, I get that. Huh. Are you a Cologne guy?

Big time. What do you like? Big time. Been a Cologne guy my entire life. I mean, my favorite Cologne ever was discontinued and it was like losing an old friend. It was called Intuition by Estee Lauder. And I still have a little bit of crazy. I still have a little bit laying around that I'll sprinkle every once in a while on myself.

I'm really trying to get an elevator going. I don't think I've ever seen that. Yeah. I love that that your intuition is your favorite. Yeah. And then, yeah, there it is. And then Dolce Gabon of the one is what I wear most of the time. But I wear cologne to take out the trash.

I'm a big time cologne guy. I like it. I like it. Where do you go with that? You go wrist, wrist? What do you do? No, I don't do any wrist. I go two on each side. Is this after the shirt's on or before the shirt's on?

After the shirts on. After the shirts on. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. And I go a little heavy on the cologne at first because not unless it's a $600 cologne, you're going to lose a little bit of that on the subway. Yeah.

You know? I like it too. I'm a big cologne guy. What kind of deodorant you're banging with? I do the Fiji scented Old Spice, the white. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, when you're putting it on, you're, you know, not. Not casting, you're a larger gentleman as well.

Do you put the shirt on first, then the, then the deodorant, or the deodorant, then the shirt? Deodorant then the shirt. But that can be tough sometimes because then somebody's like, hey, you got white stuff going down the side of your shirt. And then I play back to when I was wrestling with my t-shirt. Yeah, but yeah, I do deodorant first. Okay. Yeah. As a bigger guy, bigger guy.

You've done the pop out on the shirt as you're putting it on? You do the stretch out? Oh, oh, yeah. We got it. Dog, I'll put it over my knees and squat down. I mean, I stand up, it looks like a blouse. Yeah. That's what I'm trying to do.

Yeah. I don't know why I'm still keeping scores. I mean, we were three minutes in. What, at the West Virginia to Alabama is when I had them pegged. What do you own any suits? How many suits do you own one suit? I've only bought one suit in my life. That was for, I did a CBS spot for Nate Bargatsy on his Christmas special.

Last year. Okay. Is this still fit? No. No, no, no. It fit that day. I was like a UFC wrestler. I was in there biting ice through a towel trying to make weight for this thing.

Can you tie a tie? No, no. No, I can't tie a tie. Where'd you get the suit? Is it like an expensive brand? Like a designer? No, it's even worse. Wardrobe, let me just take it home.

Oh, get the fuck out of here. It's classy. Yeah, yeah. Man, shout out the bargetsy. That's all right. Have you ever worn a tuxedo? Yeah, I have. You went to a prom.

I was in, yeah, my court. No, no, no, I've been there. But a couple weddings I wore a tuxedo. Okay. Yeah. I got one more and then I'm dying. You know, I mean, do you have a go-to karaoke song? Yeah, devil went down to Georgia.

Oh, yeah, it did. It gets the place going. But if you see me singing karaoke, you need to get me home. I got it. Okay. We got bigger problems. Yeah, yeah. I haven't paid my tab and I'm in trouble.

Yeah. I mean, well, you know. Derek Stroop 100%. Pecan waffle covered garbage. Home run, buddy. My kind of trash, baby. I fucking love you, buddy. Oh, man.

That was so fun. I assume, Luke, you concur on this. 100%. Man, what a home run of a story, buddy. Appreciate you coming in, big dog. Congratulations on everything. Thank you so much. You're killing it.

We're so happy for you. one of the funniest out there. Special on Netflix coming to March. Yeah, man. Yeah, plug any dates. This is coming out in a couple of days. Okay, cool. I'll be in Kansas City, February 20th and 21st.

So that'll be, I'll be out on the road again. Thanks for having me, man. This is so much fun. It really was. And we know your local, you'll be coming back. Yeah, we'll have you back for sure. Gang, if you don't know, check out Derek Strupe, one of the funniest killing it. Buddy, we love you.

Thank you so much. I appreciate you, man. Kippie, what do you got for him? Guys, we're gearing up to go back on the road. Get your tickets to Tampa, Austin, Denver, Cleveland, a whole bunch. Everything's available online that these shows will sell out. We love you. We'll see you next week.

Peace.