Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Divorce Court w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Episode Date: November 20, 2025Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come t...o a live show! MEET & GREET SIGN UP: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScLUmBhmeLHRhnkFpXkZD15foLanoepaJrPRBQm08Pzir5cHA/viewform?usp=dialog AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Quo (formerly OpenPhone): Quo is offering our listeners 20% off your first 6 months at https://Quo.com/GARBAGE HexClad: Take advantage of HexClad’s Best Sale of the Year and GET UP TO 52% Off by going to https://hexclad.com/GARBAGE Lucy Goods: http://lucy.co/garbage Promo Code: Garbage Tushy: Over 2 Million Butts Love TUSHY. Get 10% off TUSHY with the code GARBAGE at https://hellotushy.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Philadelphia in the surrounding areas.
I'm talking about Lansdale, Whip Payne, Concha Hoccan.
The boys are coming back to Philly for the biggest show they've ever done,
December 13th at the Met.
I'm talking to you, Langhorne Larry, Pendell Pete, Bristol Bob.
Get your tickets at RU Garbage.com.
Talking about Marlton, New Jersey.
We're talking about Plymouth White Marsh.
We're talking about you snobs out there on the main line.
Grab the squad and come out and see the boys.
Dirtbags in Levittown.
I'm talking Upper Makefield.
Makefield. I'm talking Shelf on. The rednecks up there by Scranton. Get your tickets. The boys are hanging.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite
comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back.
Back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is R.U. Garbage.
Oh, yeah.
It's our little show.
We sit down with your favorite comedians,
and we finally have to group to be classy.
Yeah.
Just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash.
I'm your host, Atschrolley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Toonies in a new edition.
She's in the garage doing a little free weights.
Okay.
Pumping some iron.
Throwing a steel around.
Getting ready for the holiday season.
Listen to a little DMX.
You know how she likes to do it, getting her bark on, as they say.
Sure.
Mike Goes is coming at you from across the,
tables we call a family episode just the boys the bozos and the homies just the way we like it
especially around the holiday season give it up for my good pal kj kevin james ryan everybody
hey what up gang shout out to you as always please make sure you review subscribe on it's full
video available on youtube full video available over there on uh on spotify as well then obviously
the greatest website of all time www www.patryon dot com slash are you garbage you go over there you
to join the over 15,000 members,
the whole, over 15,000 homies.
That's enough to take over a small country
if we ever needed to, you know what I mean?
15,000?
If we ever started, we got, that's boots on the ground, right?
I can organize that.
Uh-huh.
I could do some damage with that.
They're all going to listen, right?
An old country buffet, maybe.
Get in there.
What kind of weapons are we talking about?
Uh-huh.
Some radios?
Uh-huh.
What about air support?
What do I got coming in on me?
You got somebody in?
coming on you i presume at this point some choppers uh-huh fixed-wing aircraft yeah huh they palm
yeah element of surprise yeah let's make sure all that stuff has seatbelt extenders too
while we're at real tough guy uh excuse me you have a click and click that's what he does that's what he does
and you see that oh excuse me can i do a i do a little you don't even have the courage to say it say it with your
chest next time hey seatbelt extender one b hit me you do i click and click you click and click
Dude, the other day the girl was doing the thing, like, the day, like, she was giving the instruction with it.
And he goes, can I get that when you're done?
Like, you're asking for kills on a sig.
She said, no, I got to get you another one.
I got to get you another one.
I can't get the floor model, bitch.
Very durpah.
Well, she forgot.
I know.
Sometimes I think you also don't care.
You're like, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
If she comes back, she comes back.
If she don't, she don't.
If she don't, she don't.
100% I worry about you though
Because I would kill you
What do you mean?
If it was bad turbulence I'd bang my head into you
Probably shatter the plane
That noggin you got it
You have a bigger head than I do
It's huge
Your head is significantly bigger than my head
Dude our hat sizes
You've always been like
You're like an eight and a half
Yeah it's bad
You got like a cinder block head
You got a lot of mass around here
That's a big old head you got on
Oh that's neither here nor there
We got a few, a little bit of housekeeping we got to do here before we get off and running.
Is it about how good my hair looks today?
Sure.
It's better.
Weight loss?
Yeah, all that stuff.
There's new merchandise on sale right now.
Get it while it's hot.
Another merch drop.
Go get your tea.
And then also, too, as you know, we got our big Philly show coming up.
December 13th at the Metropolitan Theater in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Biggest show we've ever done, right, KP?
Biggest show we ever done.
And as you know, if you've been to previous shows, you know, 95% of the time we do a meeting greet when we can, when the venue allows.
Right.
Unfortunately, we were talking to people down there.
I said, hey, you've got to figure out a meeting green.
Playing hardball.
One, we never charge for a meeting greet.
We never have.
We never will.
Never will.
None of that.
That's just not our cup of tea.
We're boys.
Are you garbage never will?
Are you garbage never will?
Oh, age five.
I got guys waiting outside right now
I just picture you
You know there's wrestling conventions
There's gonna be like podcasting conventions
I'm picking in a bag
From the big podcast boom
You're over there like it
You're signing some book that someone else wrote
I'm Henry on Henry
I'm like that
But
So we want to do something
Being that it's a special
You know the Philly shows are always special to us
And a lot of the homies and bozos
know right away they start hitting you up hey we know it's a big venue is there
gonna be a meet and greet unfortunately they're not gonna be able to accommodate it
it's just too many people it's a big show too many people but we are gonna do
something we want to do something special um hit him so we are going to be given
away some VIP meet and greet packages for free for free yeah that's giving away
all right yeah we're giving away for the easy price a nine 99 no so we're going to
be given away unfortunately we tried working with the venue to do that and then
Ticketmaster, LiveNation, whatever.
We said, can we get a list of people who bought tickets already?
And they said, no, you cannot.
So we have to do it ourselves.
So if you buy a ticket between now and December 1st, you will be, and there's a link.
You can click the link.
You put your name, your email address, and your ticket or order confirmation number will be entered into the pool to win.
I like that.
We're going to select them.
I don't know how many we're going to do.
We're going to, a bunch as many as we can.
I'm assuming family and friends aren't eligible.
Are family and friends?
Yeah.
I don't know.
My mom wanted to come back and say hi.
Your mom can come back and say hi.
Okay.
$20.
I'm going to be a $20 or something like that.
Oh, she'll get her way in.
So there's a link in the description of this episode.
Click that link.
If you've bought tickets to Philly, and if you buy them between now and December 1st,
you will be entered into Wynn and we will email you and you get to come backstage.
I love that.
We're going to do some merch giveaways.
Oh, yeah.
Some of the merch, some of the tour merch, all that kind of stuff.
We're still figuring it all out, but we appreciate the fucking the army of garbage.
And we want to make it, we wanted to make it special.
I love this.
That's what we're doing.
So between now and December 1st, you'll be entered to win, come backstage with the boys.
You get to meet Patty made.
Probably Patty the needs to be sniffing around.
I can make that happen.
What?
I can, if you want Patty there.
Set up a kissing booth for Patty.
Five bucks is smooch.
She's paying.
She's paying five bucks and kiss everybody.
Doing a little apple bobbing, huh?
I never got it.
Not me either.
That scared the shit out of me.
I always thought it was going to drown.
Uh-huh.
Big show, December 13th, come out and see the boys.
I love it.
That's great.
Yeah.
He's all my idea.
I don't think, I think you learned about it just as I was describing it.
Before we move on, can we take a little cruise by and see the kid?
Sure.
There he is.
Hey, guys.
Lucas Patuckus.
Mr. Dempsey.
Oh, Mr. Dempsey.
I'm trying to throw that at you.
Wearing one today.
You are, huh?
Just after a long, wonderful skank fest.
Skank for the memories, boys.
a lot of drinking, didn't you?
Takes it out of you.
We get some pops.
Yeah.
It's a good time.
Uh-huh.
Me and Lucas were linked up.
We were moving as one.
The boys were, the boys were locked in.
Uncle Hank, clear, clean, focused.
That's funny.
I have a picture here I would like to discuss with you.
Uh-oh.
As you have something to do with me?
Nipple claims.
Can I get some time on that Philly show?
What's up?
As you know.
What do I know?
What do you?
You know.
I'm describing to the listener.
I don't like this.
We have two bathrooms here.
He just like shrunk into himself.
I know.
It's bullshit.
We have two bathrooms here.
That's right.
The natural order of things.
Uh-huh.
You have taken one and I have taken one.
Yeah, that's right.
Right?
Mom and dad, a little his and hers.
You know what I mean?
Because you bitch and moan if I, if I use the same turlady.
You know, he's getting so defense.
Not me.
Not me.
Not anymore.
Okay.
Why are you screaming at me?
Not everybody likes using your facilities.
A lot of urine, a lot of fecal matter, a clock toilet here and there.
Raw sewage smell floating around.
And, you know, from time to time,
we have to take care of ourselves and you brush our teeth.
We do our hair.
We got to, we record, we got spots, we feel fresh, whatever.
You know what I mean?
What I want to know is how high is this water going to be?
I popped in.
For the sandbag operation you got going on here.
Everybody's involved.
I haven't been in that room in maybe a year.
Right.
Maybe a year.
You should step in there.
It's nice.
I did.
I needed a little product for the hair.
I was doing spying or run a house doing spot.
I need to juzh up a bit.
Yeah, use my stuff.
That's my, first of all, you've stolen my hairspray and put it in there.
Just say, if you win the meet and greet affiliate affiliate.
I'll give you a half a can of hairspray from H. Foley's bathroom, which is
9-10th of the law, which got me in this hot water in the first place.
Ain't dumb.
Nothing on that?
What?
I just haven't been in there.
Yeah.
And me and you operate a little differently when it comes to...
I think I know where this is going.
Hygiene, germs.
Sure.
Stuff, just, you know, just stuff like that.
Do you know where I'm going with this?
I have a feeling.
I picked up
Let's just roll the tape
Just hit them with it
This was shocking to me
That you are just
Punch in on that
You are raw dogging
Your toothbrush on a communal sink
That is
I
First of all it's not communal
It's a private bathroom
No that's communal
Which I have a key
There's five of us in here a day
That's
I know Luke just went in there
did his business, too.
Like a little cockapoo.
Dude, you're just...
That's a little wee-wee pack.
For the audio listener, Foley's...
It was wet.
You're wet toothbrush.
Why was it wet?
I am.
Today?
No, this was...
Oh, okay.
Somebody comes.
Someone breaks in and brushes their teeth.
No, this was the other day.
Everybody had left.
It was just me.
Uh-huh.
Because I had brushed my teeth.
You had brushed your teeth, and then you just leave your toothbrush on the
this, dude, if you punch in, you can see pubs.
Yes, punch it, punch it on the corner.
There's a couple of short curly, right there.
No, go under, go under, about an inch under the thing.
Oh, I understand.
Right there in the bottom, there's a, yeah, your curly cues, right there.
Okay.
That doesn't, I mean, first of all, it's on a rust ring.
It's on a wet, that is rust.
That ain't good for that.
I run under cold water.
You have to get a tetany shot, dude.
Now, get out of here.
Don't matter.
That is, dude, there's like black mold up in the corner.
That's good for you.
That's all good for you.
Okay.
That doesn't rattle you at all?
No, doesn't rattle me at all.
Okay.
Well, you know, that's good for you.
Mm-hmm.
Which I do have to say, this is the worst condition it's been in a month.
You have been taking good care of your bathroom facility as a guy who.
You think it's bad now right now?
From this picture, I...
Well, see, apparently...
No, that's just close up.
What do you mean?
It's on CGI.
That's just close up.
I'm giving you a compliment.
You have been taking good care of your backroom recently.
I just redid all that.
Oh, okay.
Red did.
Wait, what do you mean?
Redid all what?
What do you mean?
You redid all that?
You act like you went in and demoed it.
I redid all that.
I just wiped it all down with the chlorox wipes.
A couple weeks ago.
That's why I respect your verbiage.
I redid all that.
When you really hold them to the fire,
it goes, I wiped it down with a chlorox wipes.
blocks like a couple of weeks ago that's all fresh that ain't that ain't that's the farthest from
fresh cleaning a you rinse that off on a little hot water you're fine you said cold water
it depends if you don't want it to shrink or not you got to freeze out these terms daddy
okay I was just my other toothbrush used to clean the grill my other toothbrush what do you mean your
other toothbrush that's not my only toothbrush I have a toothbrush
at my home okay and then I have a toothbrush in my butthole that I use for the road sure
which is one of those ones you stick in there oh I don't like them that creates a rain fart
a goopy goopy well you know it sucks is I have this thing where I have to um I have to
when I brush my teeth I told you this I yeah I have to scrub my tongue and I have to gag
myself in order to feel like I got I accomplished brushing my teeth
And I'm always scared that when I use that
It's gonna come loose and go down my throat
And I'm a joke
In the bathroom
Of a seedy hotel that you have me in
We do stay at some
Bad joint short
Not just not nice
What the place you stay in Atlanta
I saw like a baby in there though
Was that a Hampton in?
It's very nice
Nah
You can always tell by the
The tub
If the tub
if they've, like, crudely caulked over cracks in the middle of the tub,
you know what I mean?
You're like, this joint ain't great.
If you go in there and it just looks like someone took a hammer through it
and then spread a little spackle on it, it ain't,
that's my dead giveaway is the tub's key.
Yeah.
Show you.
I had to change the toothbrush, the travel one,
because it was yellow.
I don't know why the bristle turned yellow.
I don't know what my dad used to do or how often he used to change it
or just the level of anger and anxiety he would brush it.
It was wild.
Dude, but the bristles.
I feel like that's gone.
It looked like someone stuck a stick of dynamite in there.
Dude, they were like off to the side, flipped back.
Yeah.
I wanted to be like, dude, try a fucking cup of decap.
I don't think anybody lives like that now.
Well, I mean, I'm sure there's some fucking.
I don't think so.
Yeah, for sure.
Send in some toothbrushes.
Let's take a look.
I have the bozos and the homie.
Send it some big toothbrush contest.
All right, all that's neither here or that.
We've got a guy starting a family episode on our hands.
As you know, when you join the old Patreon,
you know, fucking, when you join the Army of Garbage over there,
the 15,000 boots on the ground.
15K.
I break that up into regiments, is what I would do.
Uh-huh.
Have a couple of special crack commando teams that would go in first.
The first 2,000 guys tie my shoes.
I can organize that.
The second 2000, redo the bathroom.
I've been watching a lot of things on YouTube about history
and Alexander the Great and stuff like that
and Bay of Pigs.
I can organize a little crew for that.
Okay.
Two by two formation.
You know, I'm talking about.
Send Diesel and Ryan D in there early.
Let's go up at the situation.
See what the talk is.
Maybe it'll send me down to Venezuela.
I don't know.
A little R&R, you know what?
Catch you on a beach.
Fucking beating your colotte.
Zinc on the nose.
You guys are coming next week.
I got to acclimate.
The time difference.
Can't be going into.
be overthrowing governments all fucking zunked out jet lagged try you got tronnie's a rapist down
i need to get my bearings know anywhere i can get to travel to bro you think i'll be picked up in
two seconds you guys got to hint that in around here drag me off a succulent meal
succulent chinese meal is that what that is do you know that's you don't know that
you just passed away no shit yeah
I felt that'd be very in Luke's internet.
He was a bank robber.
No, he wasn't.
Yeah, I believe he was.
No, he wasn't a bank robber.
Okay.
He's a guy enjoying a nice Chinese dinner.
Kim, let's talk about Quo.
Let's talk about Quo.
Quo formerly open phone.
Formerly open phone.
I mean, let's talk about something every business owner knows too well.
Missed calls, we're talking about missed calls, baby, will jam you up because missing a call, a business call, is like watching money, fly right out the window.
So do yourself a favor.
get over there and get Quo, formally open phone
because it's a smarter way to run your business
communication.
Yeah, listen, missing calls is missing cash
and we ain't in that business.
No, we're not.
Quo is the number one-closing deals.
Quo is the number one business phone system
built for 2025, not 1995,
like those other bozos out there.
Your whole team can share one number,
collaborate on calls and text with a shared inbox,
faster responses, happier customers.
They're taking care of you, baby.
Quo is offering our listeners
20% off your first six month
at Quo.com slash garbage
I am a, listen, I was
one of those bozos. We needed
another business line. I didn't know what to do. I went out
and got another cell phone. I'm a guy carrying
two cell phones. I'm fumbling and I'm dropping calls.
I'm dropping cash. How you doing? Quo's
got us straightened out. Save this.
Quo, Quo.com slash garbage.
You can even skip the, you even keep your
existing number for free. Quo,
no miss calls, no miss customers. Do it.
Kim, we're talking about Hexclad.
I cook scrambies on a hex-clad just this very morning, my friend.
Yeah, you did, gang.
We're talking about top of the line.
Hexclad, do yourself a favor.
Get over there and get the best pans you're ever going to use.
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effortless cleanup, and dirtability.
that lasts a lifetime. Yeah, uh, hexclad pens truly check every single box when it comes to picking
your cookware. I, listen, I bought a whole set of hexclad. No problem, but they weren't a sponsor.
They then came on. That's how much I love hexclad. I got my hands on. I mean, you, you can't get
super glue to stick to these things. That's how your omelets flip and bacon, tossing. That's the
only two things I cook, eggs and bacon. And they do a great job. So if you're good at cooking,
man's got a bad heart.
So if you're good at cooking, imagine what you can do with them.
See, come over, see the fluffies, the fluffies, I'm cooking on.
Scramies and bacon.
For a limited time, Hexclad is having a massive Black Friday sale.
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Hachimachi.
That's by far the biggest discount they've given all year.
That's hexclad.com for up to 52% off after you purchase.
They're going to ask you how you heard about them.
Tell them the boy saying you, are you?
garbage doing the back to the show.
All right, listen, let's friggin get into it.
This one's from Brandon, $10 pump and dump, never have one read.
Are you garbage if you finance a temporepetic mattress and pillow at the Labor Day sale,
then bring that pillow with you on your son's camping trip and tell all the other dads around the campfires.
Slept great, got a $300 pillow in that tent with me.
That's, if you're not doing that, you are not fucking Trump.
man dude that's what you do that's how you live you finance then you face throw
there's two steps to live in like a dirt bag you finance your face your face that's what
it is i built my head my whole existence is based on that that's all right you got some
other dad complaining to his wife i don't got a three hundred dollar pillow slept like shit yeah
also too you know like the other dad circled up around the coffee pile fucking garry had to mention
It was probably not 300 either.
It was probably $199.
Sure.
Over $200 with tax, and then you get to throw it in a face at the $300.
You always throw a couple of $100.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, we famously caught you doing that for the necklace you wrote for,
or the necklace you bought for Patty.
Yeah?
Yeah.
What, the $7,000 necklace I bought for?
I somehow found the receipt or whatever.
It was like $4.99.
A couple of regular Hardy boys, you two.
Looking at my toothbrush and through my receipts
Irregular farty, boy, ain't you?
Ain't that?
You know what's going on?
My Instagram account.
I don't like that.
Listen, you put the company card down for things
that may or may not be
not, you know, these are seedy websites apparently
because I'm getting texts from Amex going
to you approve this H-Foly charge
from jugs.com.
Say yes, say yes.
It's me, say yes.
I'm about to come say yes.
You fucking freak, a leak.
It's from my meta.
Uh-huh.
I don't know why it's $185.
I just wanted to badge.
It was busting my chops saying,
why don't you verify?
Why don't you verify?
They don't do that shit no more.
Now it's just pay to play.
It's all payola.
Uh-huh.
Like the 80s.
Finance.
Face throw.
I should finance that.
You are.
What do you mean?
I ain't paying
I'm not paying no monthly fee
What about celebrities?
Don't they still get whatever
They don't got to pay for it
I don't know
Zuckerberg hit me up
Doing a movie in a couple of months here
All right
All right
Let's see
This isn't the same world
This is from Alex $10 homie
Never have one read
Is it garbage
We brag about how many
Amex points you have spent
I'm a big, I don't, I do like lumping them up.
I got a lot.
I haven't used them in probably two years.
I wouldn't know where to find them.
What do you mean?
I wouldn't know where to find them.
You have a personal Amex card, right?
Yes.
I, why are you on that many?
I don't know.
It's off all this.
If I had my points, you are six.
Our points in miles is the same thing.
Yes.
So I'm getting miles when we fly.
Delta.
Yeah.
Right.
Which go where?
You tell me.
That's what I would like to know about it.
Who goes that?
Who gets that?
Who goes that?
Do we get that?
A company get that.
You get the personal.
I get the personal.
Yeah.
All right.
You get from,
you personally get from Miles flown.
You do.
Me.
Hank Foley.
Allegedly.
You ever think that?
Me getting Miles.
Hey, you got a clicky?
Um.
One of those.
I don't need to broadcast my.
fucking business to people that's literally our job what are you talking we love i'm saying on a plane
and they always give you the i'll get you i remember they told guy got on the plane yesterday
some kid got who we were in the front row some kid got on a guy whatever i mean 45 years old
probably we're yelling at each other yeah we were in the middle of an active argument and he
goes i grabbed his phone no such a bitch no i got no dude my phone is in my hand this what
Happen. This is what happened. This is what happened.
I want to hear his version first.
Okay.
So there I am.
What I do, do, declare.
So there I am with my $300 seatbelt extended.
Okay.
Let's, let's, let's, let's.
I just had a lovely meal in the New Orleans airport and had my shoes buffed and
shined when there's ragamuffin sitting next to me.
so here's a deal so dickhead he gets on he goes he goes on first right guy got to be first
guy he's got to be first this guy you're just slow and you know what's some nice some nice rich
lady just brought too just move you would have loved her so slow she comes into the line
and i go go right ahead she's like we're all going to the same place anyway right and i'm like well yes we are
We are now
If you mean the toilet
I had a bad batch of et tufei last night
I had a bad Cajun chicken pasta last night
Down on Front Street
I don't know where I was
But shout out to New Orleans
I love it sure
Very nice
I had an ice cream cone
Are you gonna tell the story
That's a problem with you Yankees
Always in a rush
In due time my ugly friend
in due time
The boys are back
Tell your side of the story
I'll tell my side of the story
All right
Do it then
That's what happened
All right first of all
I picked this nice spot to go to
To go to breakfast at the airport
Leah's shout out to Leah's down there
At the New Orleans Airport
This fucking guy
Comes in
Hey when he go to the year old Irish Pim
So we humped on air
I'm eating fucking scrambled eggs
Off a fucking paper plate
One of the best airport breakfast
We've ever had
You know I would know
We sat down
We were fucking furious with Luke
I go
Luke goes hand up
I fucked up
We shouldn't be here
That all American breakfast
They threw out
Was fucking kick your wiener in well
Can talk to you for a second
No we're against each other right now
Okay fine
Well
Change your two
When the Tater Tots came out
Yeah I did
Hey, I tried to have your grits.
I like, I like a southern grit.
Anyway, I tried.
Everybody was done eating.
You opened up a fork from a plastic utensil bag and started eating his grits.
Wow, you're just like a little robot fucking in the memory, aren't you?
You know everything.
My toothbrush, my credit card indiscretions, what kind of silverware I'm using?
Man, you love me.
You're obsessed with me.
Uh-huh.
he gets on the plane first you say it like that like it's a bit first this fucking god he's trying to ring out any
but as you know because he has a fragile bladder he has to sit in the aisle because he has to get up and pee 50 times a trip
i must have peed i'm not even joking about nine times from new orleans to he i get in that i get in that
that saddle over there luke i'm against the window um you don't even know i'm there it's like the videos he likes to watch
Stuck
He's got his hand in the dishwasher
You don't even know I'm there
Although I have picked up a bad habit
Everyone knows you're there
Because of your celebrity
Thank you, Lou Gehagher
Because your celebrity
Is that who I think it is?
Well, it ain't you, my friend
Anyway, um
Sorry, we've been doing the number one's accent
All weekend. Can't stop.
I get in there, okay?
First of all, I will admit this.
I have a bad habit of looking over his shoulder
while he's on his phone lately.
I don't know why.
I just been doing it a lot.
He gets very upset.
He goes, who's that?
It's literally like a picture of my son
and like me sending hearts back to my wife.
And he's like, who's that?
That's the hand I get down.
This guy sitting next to you,
taking up all the arm space, happy to do it.
You're my best pal in a whole wide world, but then he reads your tech.
Who that?
Who to you?
You're really doing the Cajun guy.
Who that?
So I hand him my bottle of water because I'm drinking a lot of water lately.
I'm on a Zepad.
I got to get it out of me.
Somehow you being awesome.
Well, that's what I'm doing.
I'm over here just being awesome.
This guy's texting his wife being an asshole.
Yeah.
I handed my bottle of water to slide in.
Doesn't even get up like a gentleman.
No, because you started coming in.
Dude, once that inertia starts, I got to run for the hills.
And then when I get in there, I reach over to, and I just might just have like, you know,
a brain lapse and I go to grab his phone.
No.
Instead of the bottle of water.
He's like, get the hell off of my ball.
Like I'm some stranger on the street.
Like I never meant anything to him.
Like we're not best friends.
Okay.
So then he's like, so then I yell at him.
for yelling at me hold on i'm sure i believe i'm still doing this so i'm yelling at him he's yelling at me
and he's like you're not going to apologize i'm not going to fucking apologize and all of a sudden
they hear somebody go oh hey foley how are you a big fan i go hey buddy good to see it and then i made
a funny joke that's funny we were just like literally about to have a fight and then somebody nice
comes and recognizes me that's how i remember that's exactly yeah and then i had some of my and then
you stop 9-11.
I would have shot up.
Fight those 15K.
Also, then I had some of my nerds clusters and I fell asleep.
Before we pushed bed, dude, it was the, you know how like you buy snacks and you save
them for the flight?
Dude, we had pushed back, like, I'm not even joking, two inches.
And I look over, he is tear and open a box and nerds clusters.
The little bangers.
You definitely finish all your snacks before the previews end, right?
Oh, yeah, I don't have a stomach egg
And I don't want to watch the movie
You got the cup of cheese
Not your cheese
Whirling your face?
Well, fucking 45 minutes of previews, man
We get it
You got the internet
And you don't need that shit
You just start the fucking movie, dude
You know what I'm saying?
Now cut to Kevin's version of the story
Fine, go ahead
See your lies
Tell your lies
Tell your cheap little lies
Oh, tell me, tell me lies
What do you got?
Listen,
that was pretty close to what happened
I will say
you inserted
my phone is in my hand
on my knee
like it's like this
like I'm like I have my phone
I just grabbed the wrong thing
I wasn't thinking
but you grabbed my hand
my phone and my leg
all at the same time
and I just went
I went
what are you doing
like not even not like
what the buggy done
what are you doing
and he goes
it was an accident
and I was like
all right why he y'all fucking yelling at me for
he's like
that's what happened you inserted this wild energy because i think you were i think you were a little
upset that you're going to have to squeeze in i had my nerds clusters yet my blood sugar
well you hit me with a blood and i go what you're fucking yelling at me for that's most of the
conversation i go why are yelling at me you're winced up face your beady little eyes like a
chupacobber eyes burning red in the darkness those bare
Bear claws will surprise you sometimes.
What bear claws?
Your hands.
When you'll grab or something.
I mean, not to mention the amount of butter and jelly that's on them thing.
I'm very clean these days.
I wash my hands.
I do my nails.
I'm using palm olive.
It's palm olive.com.
All right.
But anyway, use your point.
Start spending your points.
Spending my points.
Yeah.
You don't know how to pull up your app.
It'll tell you how many points you have.
That's right.
Okay.
I don't want to do that
I mean my miles
I took a loan for 500,500,000 miles
Why, you could do that? No
Can I use that against anything?
You can use it to pay your bill
What bill? What do you
Your Amex bill?
This is why we, this is, wait, that was 99%
of our argument. You can use it to pay
your Amex bill? Yeah. What?
Not like dollar for dollar. One miles
and one dollar.
That'd be awesome. I'd be
getting pretty right now i didn't know that but like yeah i'm getting ready to cancel that i'm making
this up but like say it's a hundred uh a hundred dollar credit to your bill might be like 12
000 miles or something like that 100 dollars 100 dollars she's like about 100 dollars well why would
they continue to give you free money so you think you're just going to ring up a high bill not
be able to pay and then turn on and go i'll pay that with miles why why would anybody do that
I'd be pretty sweet, though.
That's how Folliville Miles work?
No, Follivilleville Miles, I'm be strict.
It's all of all the cash.
Sockers.
Pay me my money.
Yeah, fuck that.
Judge, jury.
Once you get in control, you don't, you know.
Yeah, that's what Amex is doing.
Such stiffing people.
But until they.
Dang, get them.
Uh-huh.
I have 600,000 miles.
Really?
Yeah.
I mean, we have, we probably,
the company has probably over a million.
Why don't you break them off, dog?
You can't?
I can, I can, I can send you miles.
Yeah.
I think they tax you on them.
No.
Something like that.
They got it.
What can I do with that?
Can I turn that into cash?
You're jammed up, are you?
No.
So maybe I have some business opportunities I want to, I want to,
You can get like, you can do anything
You can go on vacations
You can use to pay bills
All right, this one's from David
$10 beneficiary, never have one read
Are you garbage if you were your dad's boss
When you were 20
You were your dad's boss when you were 20
For context, my old man lost his job
While I was a manager at
No
Where do you think? Yeah, I'll give you three guesses
grocery store
No
Fast food restaurant
Wendy's
Chibolet.
No.
It's kind of fast food.
It's kind of fast food.
Huh.
Now, this is the kind of interrogation I enjoy.
Now, you're not referring to any casual dining facilities.
No, it's not like an eat-in.
Duncan Donuts.
Yes.
Bugs.
You see that in mine, though.
I told you.
The boys are back.
Mm-hmm.
My old man lost his job while I was a manager at Dunkin' Donuts,
and I hired him until he found another job.
To make matters worse, I had to fire him three months later
because he no-called no-showed me after we got into an argument the night before.
What a dick, you fired your dad?
That's great.
What do you mean?
He fucking left him high and dry.
Man, those Indian ladies were probably mean as shit to him.
Or maybe they all be.
came friends.
That's fucking crazy, dude.
Man.
We did that.
When I worked at a job in Philly after our family business got a little too volatile,
a step away, I mean, they ain't got in a fist fight.
And I stepped away.
I went and worked at a really shitty office job.
Like, do I remember this?
Yeah.
It was that broad and walnut.
Was it the, not the Wanamaker building, whatever that big building was.
It was the place that the friend of yours got?
Yeah.
The one that I always had a thing for.
I sure did.
Like to bury your crawl, Dad, is it something?
It's a good analogy.
It ain't no lobster, I'll tell you that.
A little mud bug.
Isn't that weird, though?
What?
You got a small dick?
No.
I know.
I don't have a small dick.
And we're back
Move on
No, that lobsters and crayfish
Look exactly the same
And they're totally different things
Yeah, that's crazy, dude
Tell me that's not crazy
Uh-huh
I'll tell you what's...
Luke, you know what I'm saying?
Kind of
What do you mean kind of?
They look exactly the same
You fucking idiot
What are you talking about?
Fucking hit me
What kind of?
or something else, dude.
Cabot's talking about Lucy.
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The good folks over at Lucy's, you know, listen, they send us some packages.
They send us some...
And they disappear fairly quickly.
I mean, Luke.
These things get delivered here, and it's like the rats come.
Everybody wants to get their...
There's just little pieces of a box scattered around.
I got...
I end up buying my own Lucy just because everybody steals the product.
It's sent for the host of the show.
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You know, let's get back to that friggin' show.
Back to the show.
All right, let's see.
Oh, I worked at that, and that was it.
You can tell a real dirtbag job because they'll hire anybody because they're going like,
it was all like data entry paperwork, fucking sort and mail.
So they were just like, get anybody.
I don't know how you did that stuff.
They were like, well, I started rising to the ranks because I had half a freaking brain.
You know what I mean?
And, dude, I remember this woman showed up wearing, you had a dress kind of.
Kind of dress up.
You had to wear shoes, like a khakis at least.
Okay.
And like a shirt.
Shoes.
No tie.
A collared shirt and tucked in.
It can be like a polo, like a golf shirt.
Which always looks sloppy.
A parackey.
What?
The buttoned down shirt with no tie only looks good on certain people.
A man of your, you know.
Stature.
Yeah.
It doesn't look good.
I just saw a picture.
It looks like you're drunk.
Dude, I was at my, I was.
I'm my nephew's godfather.
So this was 13 years ago, my sister's first.
The no tie christening?
I have a tot, dude.
I'm hung.
I am.
It looks like a mugshot.
I got a candle.
I'm walking a candle up the aisle.
Freak.
The candle of life.
And I'm like, dude, it looks like one of those.
I don't remember having to do that.
What?
You got to walk the candle up?
I don't know.
I had a candle.
I was fucked up.
I don't remember.
Hey, hey, put that down, man.
I'm lightening a heater off.
I'm over by the door.
Are you next?
Just every dude, but at this office, everybody just looked like they were in fucking divorce court.
Like, everybody looked like everybody, because everybody's, didn't have.
Nobody had money.
They were paying, like...
maybe, maybe a nine, ten, eleven dollars an hour, maybe, uh, around then, around that.
So it was like, this was people's first office job.
Gotcha.
Right?
They would be like a 55 year old lady who worked catering her whole life or was like a waitress
or a fucking barthender or something.
They were like, oh, we'll just take you.
And then, you know, whatever.
So a lot of people were like, not a lot of people had the business casual clothes.
Gotcha.
I remember this lady showed up
in dudes tuxedo pants one day
She had a t-shirt and
Tuxedo pants on and I was like
I remember being like
I gotta get the fuck out of here
And her whole family worked there
Her daughter her nephew
Because that was like a place
You get a job
You get everybody a job
Sure
Man
Sitting in cubicles with no computers
That's the kind of place it was
Who were you doing?
It was like he was like you're like
Sort and mail and fucking paperwork
I had a computer
but these broads didn't they were just hanging out no computer that's you know you're jammed up
that's you're jammed up if you're still going analog i've been in a cubicle with no computers
before yeah man i hated that stuff i would get anxiety just being in an office
bad most the air conditioner would start blowing on my neck and i'd feel like i was in a hot
i'm getting sick the air conditioner would start blowing on my neck and i would feel like i'm like
I'm in a hospital and that I was dying.
It's so wild how afraid of life you are.
I'd be in a bad mood if I was afraid of everything, too.
I used to freak me out, man.
Afraid of a goddamn air conditioner.
Talk about a love-eight relationship.
It'd blow right on my neck and I'd feel it.
Never mind.
I love it.
It'd blow right on my neck and I felt like I was getting a fever
and then I was going to be in a hospital.
I'd go outside when I was real hot and have a cigarette.
Sweet, dude.
I see you having like a purple cardigan on to like stay warm in the office.
You got Debbie's sweater on.
That I made myself.
All right.
This one's just funny.
This is from Ray Leota.
Have you ever saluted a cop?
That's good.
Just fucking, I don't know.
I think you for your service.
Thank you for your service.
All the time.
Uh-huh.
You're like hammered leaving a bar.
doing that.
I'm always telling him, I'm on the job.
I'm a deep undercover.
I was talking to Potter this week.
Yeah.
Josh Potter.
The Roach.
He was like,
he was like,
somebody was like rolling a joint or something like that.
We were partaking in the greenery of the festivities.
I think it was Mr. Sam Thalen and Mr. Luke Dempsey
had linked up supergroup to smoke a joint together.
The high women.
Josh Potter was there.
And he's like,
He's, like, asking Sam, like, what kind of weed that is or something, you know, or something.
Sam goes, what are you a fucking cop?
You know, like fucking grilling me on the, grilling me on the kind, bud?
And he goes, yeah, I'm undercover.
And he goes, it's just such a funny potter line.
He goes, what if I was so deep undercover, they forgot about me, and now I'm just living down here?
That would be such a potter thing.
Can't see nothing, doesn't know where he's at.
Guys, you still there?
I think there was a movie like that with Lawrence Fishburn.
Deep cover?
Yeah.
I've never seen it.
I just know the references.
Nothing like a Lawrence Fishburn and like in his 30s and 40s.
Larry.
Yeah.
Larry Fishburn.
Like when.
King of New York.
Boys in the hood.
No, not King of New York.
He was too young then.
Okay.
Sorry.
Boys in the hood.
Great.
All right.
This one's from Hunter.
$10 homemade.
Never have one read.
How old were you when you found out that tonight?
show wasn't live that's funny that's good uh i probably told you but i used to think the band
was playing in the radio station what yeah what do you mean like i'd be in the car and you turn on
q 102 whoa you i thought you know the red hot chili peppers were in there doing under the bridge
until when i don't know 12 no no no i mean i'm not no no no you know you know
I don't know
10
10
10
I mean
how am I not supposed to think that
I don't know how cassettes work
I imagined you in the Luminah doing this
No no no no no
I remember the first time I put it together
I switch stations
and like
Same song was on
Or like how my teeth are motherfuckers
Double dip it move quick
What's that?
have a chop or something.
Get you over to fucking WMG cake real quick.
Jumping between fucking YSP and WM.
We're there in Balak-Hinwood.
I remember when I found out that some DJ sets.
Body once told me.
That DJ sets were pre-recorded.
Now?
No, back then, too.
What do you mean?
Like, they weren't really there.
at the time
like they weren't like
I'm listening to radio at 4 o'clock
on a Friday they might not actually be there
they might have recorded the day before
it's up yeah I didn't like that
Carson I knew that pretty early though
because I was a big late night here
in the industry
fellow entertainer
sure yeah that's a great question
that's really funny some people still don't know that
right now as we sit here sure
people think that they record those
at 11 o'clock at night
which why but like why wouldn't i mean like if you never thought about it and you're like
the news is live the fucking good day america is live go more to all that shit it's like why would
you not assume they're not in the biz maybe they should do that maybe people start fucking
tuning in again yeah you know what i'm saying fired pan pan pan that wouldn't be that bad of an
idea it would give like a late night energy you know what i mean it'd be fun the turrets fucking bradley
Cooper at fucking midnight?
No?
I wonder if Graham Norton's live.
No way. All those guys
in fucking, no way.
That's a lineup of a head. Love the Graham Norton show.
It's so good. No.
No. Not a live broadcast.
Smoke a Graham Norton show.
Zaza Pact. He's the best.
Him and what's his name?
Sullivan. Jonathan Sullivan?
Who may I think of him? The guy with the long hair,
the other British guy. Long hair.
Longer hair. Older hair.
Older guy now.
Luke.
Dave Grohl.
No.
This one's from Buster Cherry.
Never have one read.
My uncle built a tree house in his yard to serve as the guest bedroom of his trailer,
which he then turned into a grow room.
My man.
That's crazy.
Grow room smart.
You're living a life where you're like,
there's not enough room in the trailer.
Go sleep in the tree for it.
Pugs.
I have just probably bugs in that trailer too
Sure
That's a tough one
You like caterpillars
Do they scare you
We liked them as a kid
They used to collect them
Put them in a promise
You're talking about the little black ones
With the little orange red
Yeah yeah them
I didn't mind them
I don't mind bugs
I mean
To a creepy crawly extent
You know what I mean
But yeah
They were fine
It's fast things I don't like
Something small
Might jar me when I see it
But then I'm like
Or slow
but it's the creepy
You know
Fast moving Jones
Ticks
Ticks don't buy
Bedbugs
Yeah I never had any experience
With bed bugs
Uh
Yeah no
Found a roach yesterday
Where?
My apartment
Smoke it
Smok it?
Zaza
Loudpack
And that
I think he came out
Was it dead
I think he came out of the drain
No
My wife put a
A cup on it
And saved it for me
for when I got home.
You know how to get rid of the ones in the drain?
You boil a big thing of hot water and you dump it down a drain.
Kills all the larvae.
That might be hanging on the pipes.
Why do you look at me like I'm stupid?
I mean, like, I don't know.
Just to me, it's like obviously hot water would do the job.
Well, did you do it?
Maybe you wouldn't have bugs in the home with a child.
I got bugs at the table.
Bugman.
Maybe that's bug man
You're telling me that's what kills it
But maybe that's what makes them stronger
Bugs are falling out of my sleeve
Bisses them off
Come get the fucking kid
Get me while I'm sleeping
Now what would I want that
I would maybe want to get one in your brain
To control you
But I wouldn't want to hurt you
That's impossible
Get those miles
Get those points
But can't figure out now
Now I can't figure out where my miles are
All right
Let's see
This one's from Ike $10
Homi
I've had one read
No big deal
Nice
Is it garbage
To play the funeral music
From a car
Recently attended a funeral
And at the burial site
They played a song
From a pickup
That was about a hundred young
And now maybe
They don't mean
You're crazy bitch
But you
I used to love that
A little buck cherry
Wow
They played a song from a pickup
that was about 100 yards away
after that obviously didn't work
halfway through the song.
They restarted the song
put on an iPhone next to the casket.
The song, a six-minute AI-generated song.
I mean...
Why? Why AI generated?
Couldn't get the rights.
It might have been like a personal.
I don't know. I don't know.
That guy was definitely bad.
Like make a song about Jim.
He loved...
whatever that guy was definitely buried in one of them stripped down caskets it's like made out of the
ikea boards i've never seen those i've only ever seen like normal mahogany or whatever it is
yeah but i know the bottom of those is typically really thick like bottom of what those caskets
i feel the trashy ones of all of them to to promote the veggie like the decomposition i believe
oh really thought i think so is that what they want they want they want
You don't you in there?
Eventually, yeah.
I don't know.
Maybe I made that.
Maybe I heard that on like an episode of Law & Order.
I'm getting cremated.
No?
No. Law and order fact.
Law and order fact.
Yeah.
Kippie's wrong yet again, my friend.
Will you be in a mausoleum, one of those things, the high things?
I hope so.
Your family have one of those?
Yes, unless we get caught in scandal.
Be buried with us.
Burry with the dirt bags he worked for
Man
How man would you be if the three of us were buried together
I wouldn't what
In the debtor's grave
Throw it on top of each other
Betty Barras in Thompson Square Park
With all the other
Destitute Homeless
Good Lord
You ever see that scene in glory
Where they throw Denzel Washington
On top of Matthew Broderick
Talk about a tear
Teer
I don't know
I don't have any plans for the afterlife.
I presume I'll find you.
You know, maybe like 17th Street Beach and Wildwood or something.
I'll be waiting for you in hell.
I'm not going to hell.
Me neither.
All right, this one's from John.
$10.
$10.
You are just a full-on bazzo.
You know that?
You know it?
Can I do for you?
This one's from John.
$10.
Bucks County native here.
Never had one read.
Thank you for your service.
Yes, sir.
Local Bucks County.
Love it.
Is it garbage if at a nicer B.Y.O.B.
restaurant to use the bottle opener on your key ring.
Which this is, I am an uncouth man.
I don't really like wine per se.
And if I'm going out to dinner, and the B.O, there's a lot of BYUob.
B places in Philly because it's very expensive
to get a liquor license. Just for everybody out
there. B-Y-O-B
does not mean beers.
They don't want you bringing in beers.
They don't? No. Why?
They want you bringing in a bottle of wine.
I get that, but what is...
That's what they want. What they get
is me rolling in with a six pack of schlitz.
First time we went to...
And a beer buying.
First time we went to From the Boot,
the original From the Boot,
over there in Lafayette.
Hill, Lafayette, whatever it's called?
I would have to push back.
So you're talking to suburban,
anything flies in the suburb.
You can't be, you're not classy
if you're next to a fucking Sonoco.
That is just ain't the case.
Okay.
Okay.
Just saying.
Put that in your little pipe and bite that.
Uh, yeah, I, I think if you're going to a...
The wide my mom yelled us all in the parking lot
and said we were embarrassed in ourselves
because we went in there with a cooler of yinglings.
that cooler a yingling is a tough law
What if you drink them warm like a fucking loser
They don't play
This is this is late 90s
They don't put them in the back
I would maybe let it slide
If you had one of those cool like
What kind of cooler was this
Was it a red eagle?
Was it all it was their wheels
There was wheels on it
It's shamed in the bottom of that thing for short
You're getting some crunchy beer tops
It was like a little half banger
Not a full like long long boy
You can't take that here.
I have to listen.
So what are you going to bring in a six pack of beer?
And then have them put it on ice for you.
Hey, can you put this on ice?
That's what I did.
And I didn't realize that it was, I had never been to a B-Y-O-B and Pat.
We went to one in South Philly.
I think I was already back living.
I think I was already in New York.
And I went back.
He's like, oh, we're going to this good restaurant.
And they're like getting bottles of wine.
I'm like, I don't do wine.
So we got a, I think I went classy and got some.
Loco.
Some IPAs, to me, that's like.
I can do everything.
IPAs and pasta?
Jesus Christ.
I see your cheeks welling up from here.
You got to do wine or a nice bottle of anisette for after dinner.
Anaseptic, that shit'll kill you.
I mean, now I would.
But also, it's like, who gives a fuck?
The waiter don't care.
The wait, listen, if the waiter's judging you.
A waiter's a fucking waiter.
It's like, you're no better than me.
I'm in here drinking beers.
You're a fucking waiter.
And I'm not shitting on it, but it's like,
it's like if the owner came and was like,
oh, please, it's not that kind of place I go.
Put you a cigarette out, sir.
I'm laid it with the candle.
God damn veteran.
I'm a cop.
You salute me when you talk to me.
I'm deep undercover right now.
I arrest you, but I'm under cover.
I think beers is fine in a bottle.
Maybe poured into a glass.
Have them iced this.
beers hey can you put these on ice like bring a little thing they do that with the wine i love
that yeah hey can you you know i love having beers directly in ice and in the in the in the champagne
thing or if you want to be real classy get one of they they have like the six pat like the small
like lunchback kind of coolers get a nice black they have them for like bottles of wine oh yeah
like a nice black one that looks like it would be done by samson night or something you roll in with that
no one's gonna go think oh this guy's classy he knows what he's doing i saw elton john do that one time
I thought it was really classy.
Where?
What are you talking about?
You're at a B-Y-O-B with Elton John.
With the tiny dancer himself?
No.
I was at the concert.
Elton John.
What are you looking at it?
It was Elton John and Billy Joel.
They played out in the Continental Center.
It was years ago.
I went with my ex-girlfriend.
And what did he do?
She had just dumped me.
He had dinner on stage.
He bought tickets.
And she took me.
Uh-huh.
I tried to get her back the whole way on the bus back from Jersey.
That's how you seal the deal with a girl who's already left you.
You take the bus from...
I didn't have no money.
From Paramus.
You sneak on.
Go, go, go, go.
We're one person.
Act like you're sleeping.
They're asking you for a ticket.
You stink, dude.
Shum a cop.
I'll blow a house.
start shooting everybody here.
I'll blow up this whole bus.
No, he had a, he must have a sore throat.
Everybody relaxed.
There's a bomb on the bus.
If it goes under 55 miles an hour, it's going to explode.
I am Keanu Reeves.
I, uh,
stink.
No.
That's what I'm trying to thought, God damn it.
You stink.
Oh, I was at the Elton John Billy Joel concert with her.
Making moves, shot down.
And Elton John was on stage.
You must have to.
to her throat or something, but he had a regular
club soda in a big
like pewter
champagne thing with ice.
It was awesome. And he kept putting it in there
and taking it out and taking swigs off
of it. It looks so refreshing.
I wonder why she left you.
I wasn't very present.
Oh, you have a rhetorical
question.
She was hot.
This one's just, this is from
Count Trashilla. Ever watch
with your parents
That's tough
I was never into it
It was like when I was a kid
It was like you know
And I don't mean this disrespectfully
Obviously
But it's gonna be
It was it was like for kids
I don't know
Which I didn't realize that adults watched it
You know
I think that's more of a thing now of kids
Like now they're significantly more
Adults to watch it because they grew up with it
The parents of that age
Didn't you know
Of your age
Yeah.
Your dad didn't grow up with it.
No.
Yeah.
It was a boxing man.
Yeah, same with us.
I remember my dad.
HBO boxing.
I went to a handful of events every time it would come around Philly.
Because at that time it was WWF and WWW.
There was a WCW and they were both huge.
And wrestling was like, this is like the Stone Cold, the DX, this is the rock.
Like this is like the one of the, I mean, it's probably significantly bigger now, but like this was a huge uprising at the time.
Sure.
uh and like hogan had returned this is like it was fucking crazy so we would go and i probably
went to like three maybe two or three um when they came around and i remember my dad would just
like shocked at the adults that were into it he just couldn't he didn't like he was just like
she don't like pussy i remember he went outside and he was smoking a cig with it guys
is when you could, there was a smoking section.
And he was like, I'm going to go catch a heater.
Leave me there.
Big pretzel, big soda, watching the big boss man go.
Sure.
You'd be good for 20 seconds.
I got to pee.
Big pretzel, big soda.
Man, you ever wanted to shut you up?
Jumbo pretzel and a big Coke.
Uh-huh.
You ain't lying, dog.
Uh-huh.
commemorative cup out the door maybe some bootleg merch we were always big bootleg merch guys
the parking lot but you never buy inside even when you went to the flyers game I couldn't
bring myself because I remember as a kid I went to a flyers game and I'm like look at him
my dad's like that's how they that was a good that's how they get you get the same shit
of models for half the price tomorrow morning fuck out of here I'm taking it in shamany
mall gate out of modell for Herman's we are sports line them up
Got them down.
We were never, but you buy off the guy in the, how much is that?
20, my dad goes, give you 10.
Okay.
I used to love buying the concert t-shirts in the parking lot.
Steve Miller band and stuff like that.
Elton John.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
With the soda.
That's right.
We were always big, too, the guy you'd buy the bag of three pretzels on the walkout, too.
In Philly, they're always there selling pretzels.
You're hungry after the show.
Man, after I have my present.
I haven't had a pretzel on them.
about an hour of starving we were a we're a big pretzel family big huge pretzel if there's one
thing I mean pretzels over chips all day long at at the Ryan household not I'll give
you that not even close my dad would stop it just like Philly soft pretzel company and just
buy a rack you know what I mean like the fucking 10 piece and just come home yeah we
wouldn't do that man there's something about reaching in a big brown bag with like 10 pretzels in
there and just ripping off half you know what i mean you're just like all day you're eating this
never-ending pretzel there's no end it saving the middle oh that's a rare after dinner dog
that's a sweet part of the meat right there that's what kippy likes we got to wrap
moist center uh-huh pork chop gang december
13th we're going to be at the Metropolitan
fall right into plug
gang
Phil it's the biggest show you've ever done
Come on out and see the balloons
Also sorry to you guys
Sign up the big giveaway
Yeah sign up for the giveaway
The link will be in the description
We're going to post it on socials and stuff
There's the first time we were doing anything like this
We hope you guys fucking like it and enjoy it
And we're looking forward to it
We love you
Gang we love you we'll see you next week
Peace
