Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Don't Get a Bad Tattoo! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: August 3, 2026

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: BlueChew: Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for FREE with promo code GARBAGE. https://bluechew.com Bolt: Go to bolt dot new and use code BUILD for a free 30-day Pro account. Rocket Money: Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://www.RocketMoney.com/GARBAGE Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. It's a little show, we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that after a group to be class. See? Yeah. We're just a big old piece of trash.

Trash, trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootie's in a new edition. She's upstairs making a little bathtub gin. Okay. Yeah. It's going to be some rough eyesight around here in the next couple of weeks. My co-hosts is coming out from across the tables.

We call a family episode. It's just the boys, the bozos, and the homies just to what we like it doing. Listener questions from the Patreon. My co-host, my best pal. And the whole wide world. he is the king of the burbs. He is the lyrical gangster. No one likes that.

No like that one. I'm working on it. It doesn't make sense. I kind of like it. Oh my God, I'm screwed. It's in. Kevin James, Home Depot, Ryan, everybody. What up, gang.

Shout out to you as always. Please make sure you're right for you subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. And the boys are climbing a freaking truck. Can you stop fucking making noises? What the fuck? Wow, wow.

Jesus Christ. What are they cutting a check over there, by the way? We're holding up that goddamn operation. What are we cutting his mic, by the way? They only got to intro somebody, then keep fucking talking. Have he fucked up? If we gave Luke the power, he's got a cough button over there for it? What do you mean?

He does have that. You do? You can cut me? Yes. No shit. What do you think all the wires do? You don't got the fucking balls. Guys, Patreon, listen, shut up.

Shut up. Cut my mic. What were you saying? Nothing. What? Patriot, the thing that pays your fucking bills. Patriot, we got to make more money that you can blow. Patreon.com.

So are you garbage? Check it out. Got that big special coming out next month. Big special. Man, you're really taking fucking, you really, yes. Take it. I tell me you've got to take the leading this operation. You're tanking us.

Yeah, that's right. We're doing very well, and I appreciate you and I love you. Wait, I'm the one. Showed up big for me yesterday. Yeah. Use a tax money to loan you. That's what we're doing. You can't not stink.

That's not true. You do this thing where you allude the stuff, just get it out. I got a nice, I got a nice cologne on. Gucci. Unisex. You don't have Gucci money. Stop. It was a gift.

From who? Me? A half a bottle gift. Yeah, I got a left of us. I'm not with a good crew, huh? Half a bottle gift of cologne. What the fuck? Uber driver, got to have to get a cup of coffee.

There's a Toyota. There's a toy hotel. There's a camera out front, dude, double part. What? Well, I've just been doing the numbers, adding up some things with you. That's always good with me. No, not that. You know, the mall walking, the pizza oven, the suburban lifestyle that you are settling into.

Uh-huh. Very, very wholeheartedly. You're in. I like it. Listen. You are a dad. I'm a dad. I've been doing some math, man.

40. Yeah, I'm 40. years old. I hope it's not on my Venmo transactions. A couple of weeks or two. It's the second time you brought up your Venmo transactions today. I don't want to know what's in. You're the kind of guy. Cut that. I hope no one asked me about this over here.

No one at. No one cares, dude. A lot of bike. Man, no, my. What? You got the pool. You so want to tell people things and you bring it up a bunch. Shohorned into conversation. No one's asked about ever. Tires premieres August 13th.

Yeah. Tell everybody that. Check it out on Netflix. The big dog and all the boys. Yes. Fun, fun season. I can't wait for it. Whole squad winning me. Whole fucking squad.

Let's go. Stavi's got that fucking movie. Stavvy's got the movie. Bordane movie. Bordane movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Killing it. Everyone's doing great.

Fucking love it, man. I love to see it. You on the other hand. But listen, I think I'm at a precipice in my life. I've lived, you know, give or take, I'm 40, and give or take half and half of that time has been spent in the city and or in the burbs. So I'm 20 years in, 20 years in. out and I think it's time for me to return a little bit to my suburban roots to another 20 in

and then when I'm 60 I'll move back to the city. You'll be that guy. Wow. You're, man. You'll be, you'll be walking around the Upper East Side. Upper East Side. What am I, Eshmedric? Please, I'm going to be in the village. Is that where you're going to go?

All the gate guys are, yeah. Huh. I was down there in that village last night, popped into the comedy cellar, hung out, you know, well, hey, hey, hey, good to see us. Then I had a meeting. but it was about 10 o'clock, West Village. A lot of attractive people down there. This is your first day in New York?

What the fuck? Of course. First time looking around in a while. Historically, all the hot people. It's all rich people. Getting ice cream coming back from work. You know, I love seeing a young professional. And there's Henry.

Standing with a cup of chain shaking it. I was eating a cold Sicilian slice, which is my thing now. Dude, shut up. You've been saying that for... And I get it cold. You've been saying that's a cold part. That's new. That's new material.

No, it's not. Yes, it is. Well, it's going to be in the special. Put it in. It just cuts to you sitting here. Colts is the feeling. It's my thing. So...

The special is going to be on our YouTube channel. Yes, it is. Yes. All are you garbage. In September. We're locking in the date. All are you garbage. Down there, Tampa.

Side Splitters. Let's fucking go. Yeah. That's a fun fucking weekend. Yeah, well. Flop better than the one before it. Yikes. I can't get a read on this guy.

You're a different guy when the lights came on, and you were, I don't know, for the 90 minutes leading up to this. I feel like I'd never talk to you before. Did you notice that I contacted I was giving you when we were talking in the pre-production meeting, and there wasn't a grin, there was a smile. I was doing this. Uh-uh.

You see my legs crossed? I did notice you really, you're really moving. Now that you're down weight, which we're all very proud of. You're really moving. Cross my legs a little bit. It looks very unnatural. and pretty painful, if I'm being honest with you. And you should stop doing it because nobody was able to pay attention.

Took four quarter zone shots to fucking get me off. Dude, I make that guy. That guy who sat on his nuts. That is the most human reaction to anything I've ever seen. Hey, the winkies, the little guy's really growing since the weight's coming off. He's all right down there. He's a fighter, too, that kid. I'm saying?

What do you got? That's something to start, you said. Is there a phone case on your belt in your near future? It's funny you bring that up. I saw a guy on a dad, older guy. You are a proper dad. Yeah, I have to be. I have a child.

You're wearing new bounds. Yeah, but so are you. And you're my father. I wear him cool. I'm cool. By the way, I heard dirty sneakers are back in. Yeah, dude. Okay, so I said, yes.

I did. We told you that three years ago. And dog shit. It isn't dirty, okay? You've got to watch the bottom of them things. I think I heard Mary Beth Barone talking about that. She's in. That's a stylish kid.

She's a woman, lady, comedian. Hey, fuck. Very stylish. Very funny as well. I, uh, what, phone case? I was, uh, I was, uh, I was on a, I was on a walk and I saw two, two older dad. They were retired, future me, and they were riding their bikes. Oh, you're not going to get one of those bikes where you see.

sit down, are you? What bikes? Don't you sit down on? Please, Kippie. There's fucking chicks in the listen to this show. I'm married. Oh, and I'm not? I'm not.

Um, but they were going, these two dads, they were on like, it was like a Saturday morning. They were on like their Saturday linked up. They were on a bike ride. They were cruising.

And, I hate those guys. Why? Because I'm sure they love you. Those guys that, those guys that meet in like a fucking, uh, like international house of pancakes parking lot.

They take their bikes out. Then they put those fucking dumbass outfits on. And they act like dicks when they're fucking driving down the road. Get the fuck out of the way. You're not Lance Armstrong. They're always older dudes that are like a little bit built. That looks like they'd kick your ass. They probably can and they probably will.

They're wearing those spandex things and those weird bowling shoes that have plastic on the bottom for their bikes. And they're such dicks. They are all bald. They're all balding. Don't let me see you in that shit I'll walk Okay Trying to be cool man

Hip pop culture We gotta be in there You can be doing that shit Yeah Because that's what's got us here Being cool in pop culture You need some ripped jeans and a band You're going through a midlife crisis

And it shows Shout out to Mr. Rooster By the way That tattoo is coming very soon Sweet dude I'm proud of you Thank you Putting the pieces behind me

What? I don't know. I love how deep you think you are. It's so funny. It's so corny. It's so corny. I stink. Could you get like a henna for a month just so you see if you like it?

No, no, no. Hanna, I don't like that. Guys like me in their 50s who get their first tattoo. Don't do that, all right? I think a tattoo at your age is a great idea. I think it's really cool. Seriously, honestly. You sound sarcastic.

I think it's what cool guys do. I'm not trying to be cool. No. Trying to honor my father and put, you know, put the pieces behind me. Yeah. Snyder's pretzel pieces. Which, by the way, I'm off them. I'm all about those pretzel chips, those pretzel crisps,

and I'm all about the rods. Puddies, patties, what are they called? Roddies? I don't know. Pretzel twist. They've got a buffalo. It's fantastic. A lot of stuff going over there at H. Holy Industries.

A tattoo and pretzel crisps. Yes. All right. You guys have been in the last. You're really coming together on. Well, there's a lot going on in the world. These things fall by the wayside. It's got to be somebody that, you know, pushes them to the forefront.

Which I heard Burger King starting to make some serious moves. So I think they've seen my emails. Very nice. You get a Burger King tattoo. Tattoo people say you're not supposed to get dead people for your first tattoo. Why? Because it's like it's very like emotional and like you might regret it. Listen, I mean, you've done a lot of stuff that you and everybody around your regrets.

but he's okay with that. I'm not getting Robert Duvall tattoo. It's my father. He died? He did. You getting a face of him? Something cooler. You got a 72-year-old man on your own.

I might get a Sag Daddy the God tattoo on my right shoulder. Nice. Just for Sag Daddy. I love that kid. Yeah, sure. We all do. He's the voice of a new generation, Kevin. Very much so.

Shout up to the Sag Daddy. Big fan. But to go back to the case, They weren't those guys They were just regular guys on a bike riding They were one guy was in like cargo shorts But he had more of like It was like a tool

Like a leatherman case kind of You know Put no top on it It was more like the thing you would put Like a holster Yeah like a tape measure in kind of something like that And he had his phone in there I assume so when he's driving

with his bike, he doesn't have to fumble around with a latch or something. Okay, somebody from the office is calling or whatever. Yeah, and I was just like, I saw it. I went, that's ultimate dad. He's got it on the quick drawl. There's no fuck. He can just get there. What do you do?

Take the goddamn ass. Take the house. Also, that's going to be me, mountain bike, me and my boy, carusin. Are you going to get the bike with him on the back? I'm going to have to, obviously. Yeah, that's got to happen very soon. And that's not even, that's just dad. Do you ride a bike?

No, why would I ride a bike? I have a car. I mean, what am I an asshole? This guy doesn't have a tattoo asking me if I have a bike. What the fuck? No, but I'm going to get a bike so I can ride with my son. Okay. It's not like I'm riding a bike all every, like all over town and I'm like, hey, buddy, hop on.

That would be an event. That would be a, that would be a task we do together. Wow. Well, I wanted to ask you, that's a bad sign about the thing. How far away we from do the yellow shirt? first, yes. A wheel away from that hat at the beach. How far away would you say? You've already warned you.

No. Listen, I'm not a... I'm an older Irish man. You know, I have fair skin. I have spots. I don't have one yet. But I will say I have turned the corner and understanding the practicality and purpose of them. I will say that. There's people in my family that wear them. Now that's the beach. How far away were you from on the weekends? You're showing up at the neighbor's house, the other couple that you hang out with. You are very jealous of.

I'm in the city doing cool shit. All right? You just wipe boogers on your hand and you're 50 getting a tattoo and you're trying to be in a band. You do the math. Thinking about getting into vaping. Thank you about getting into vat. Shout out to Mr. Roos. I don't want to smoke anymore.

So quit smoke? I need something But I need something To stay cool with my crew They think so much worse than smoking I'll get out of here You just turned into Patty right there Not even

Shut up My mom will be blatantly smoking in the house I ain't talking about Yeah There's a thing with that generation They just They'll just lie And go

I mean you do it But they'll go And you just go That's up is down And they'll go No down is up And you go All right

I guess we'll just move on from here Which I respect. I don't think, I think it's rude and intrusive to break the lie that someone's living. You know what I mean? As a liar, I get where you're coming from. Does that make sense? Like, like, like, where's the decorum? What people doing the privacy of their own homes? It's none of the nobody's business. I mean, I mean. I don't know. Okay. First of all, I've never been in your home. I've called you out on a lot of lies that affect a lot of people. I've never been in your home. Well, I don't have a home. Also, I'm at Cousin Ian's. Awesome. Just spent my first night day last night. I've heard of. We'll save that for the Patreon, I believe.

Good friend. Which is also why I would say, I don't know, maybe you've invested in a tattoo, you know, maybe get an apartment. Like $100. No? Not good ones. There's no way he was getting a good one. What are you talking about?

I'm going to go to a good guy. I'm going to go to prison and get one there. Get inked out. Cinemax night. Yeah. And you're going to get it right here. That's where you want it. Cool, because you're a tough guy.

I'm not a tough guy. That's a tough guy. That's a guy who wants to be a tough guy. Just saying, do it. Get it on your calf. Go forward. Get out of here.

And get the Philly fanatic with your dad's head on it on your calf. You got to do that. Please. Please, please, please. No. On the weekends, when you're hanging out with this other couple or whoever you're hanging out. We're talking about our tattoos. Whoever you're hanging out with down there.

Yeah. Talking about stock prices and baby. formula and the new stroller and you just almost fall sitting down. You just slipped Who put this legal pad here? That's crazy. What do you guys talk about that? Who? I don't know. You and your

suburban other couple friends? It's my wife's I mean it's not like we're like not in a group chat. It's my talking about football, the game, all that kind of stuff. Yeah, just whatever. You're not talking about culture, art, music, stuff like that, cool stuff. We do. You don't live in Brooklyn now.

You do live in Brooklyn. Cool. I'll be hanging out of McCarran Park. How do you hang in? How do you live in Brooklyn and not have a tattoo? Actually, now that I think about it. Bingo. Bingo.

That's how you get in the apartment. You got to show your ink. I'm on your side now. Thank you. Are you going colored tattoo or black and white? I don't know. I don't know. To figure that out.

I'll see. Probably blue. I don't want to know what it is because it's going to be way too serious. Blue? I'll tell you. No, I don't want to know. Just leave it. It's going to be sad.

TMF. And then there's going to be. to be a hawk because the day my dad died there was a hawk flying over our house and i see a hawk all the time then there's going to be a dragonfly because a little little tiny dragonfly because i see dragonflies all the time and that's a very good omen and they've always been attracted to me i always see dragonflies you smell like those are horse flies those are green heads god damn bay we got a bay breeze bring it in the green heads now hanks in town whew we i have i have i have i have i have friends with tattoos, you can't go that complicated for a first tattoo either.

And then the other side of... Just go scull and crossbow, something cool. And then the other side's going to be on the trash cans in Wilkesbury is a beehive. Or it was when I was a kid. This one time I saw a lot that had a beehive all that. Yeah, maybe about it. Okay. I'm going to get that.

So those representations. Oh, yeah. Okay. Cool. And then seal team six. And then the towers. Never forget, presented by Duncan Nunn on some baskin robin. How soon on the weekends are you going to be wearing this hat?

I mean, I would argue they're about the same hat. Wait, I got to, this one has inserts for the sunglasses. That's pretty cool. That's what cool guys do. Get the fuck out of here. We are so washed. You're sitting here talking about getting a tattoo for your dad who died of like natural, at a natural death age.

You only get a tattoo for someone when they got shot. When they died tragic. Or they left too soon. Is that true? I mean, the dirtbags, they get tattoos of people who... I'm a fucking dirtbag. I know, but they do it when their boy ODs in high school or whatever. I, e. all of my friends who have tattoos.

My one boy did die in high school. Well, they get him. Oh, it was after high school. But I went to high school. It was about five years ago. No, no, no, no. That's another guy. Okay.

Timmy Shib. Shout out to the Bulldog. Uh-huh. Had this move fucking stick you. Good stuff. Um. I mean, I would argue for... all intents of purposes.

Those are the same. Where I come from, those are the same hat. Now, full brimmed hat's a full brimmed hat. I'll agree with you on this. We are both starting to stink in different ways. Can you agree with that? Thank. Sure.

Yeah. I listen, I'm going full suburban dirtbag. I got the lopsided pool. I got the fucking. I'm going city. My neighbor's asking me, you know, what are you doing with the lumina? That kind of thing. Like, you know, it's like, I'm a bit of a sore thumb.

Sure, the landscaper doesn't come around and cut the grass on time. What's up with that? It's been raining a lot. You're doing Fridays? It depends. It changed. But yeah, it's normally right before the weekend. The good customers got it done on Fridays.

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We thank Bluetooth for sponsoring the pod and the bedroom. Thank you. Yeah. Kib, let's talk about Bolt. Bolt. Dot new, gang. Let's go, baby. Gang, if you're behind on the AI game.

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board. You'd otherwise have to hire someone to build or a pitch deck that doesn't look like a template. You describe what you want in a prompt box and bolt.com builds the working app, not a mockup, no code required. It's something you can genuinely try and ship this weekend, not just demo. Go to bolt.com.com and use the code build for a free 30-day pro account. That's bolt.com. Code build, B-U-I-L-D, and you've got a full month of pro to build whatever you've been putting off do it. I would say I, you know, I'm not going to wear those hats. Okay. Do you believe me? No. That's my respect. I don't believe you at all. I think there's going to be very soon there will be khaki shorts in your future. I have khaki, but yeah, I have khaki. With pockets?

Why, I wouldn't shorts have pockets. What kind of shoe? What kind of pair of shorts doesn't have pocket? I need to put my keys, my change, and my dry cleaning receipts in there. So what? Are khaki shorts dad's shorts? I don't wear shorts. I wear jeans and bathing suits. Those are short. But you wear bathing suits as shorts. You do?

Yeah. Yeah. I just got a new bathing suit, too. And a new pair of shorts. And a new pair of shorts, apparently. Dual action. And a new pair of pajamas. Because I slept in it last night at Ian's because I didn't want to sleep naked in the room.

You're sleeping in board shorts? Not board shorts. This is a straight-up bathing suit. It's a same thing. It was still a little wet, too. Because I wore it and left them. You went swimming? Yeah, I was swimming.

Yesterday? No, Sunday. And Wednesday night, they were still wet. You sleep in your jeans before. You're judging what hat you may or may, I may or may not be. I'm at there still on the edge, baby. That's Lakewater, too. Yes.

Yeah, you weren't. Oh, my God. Like Erie. That's not even, that's salt's not even cleansing that. I don't like Lakewater. It's weird. It leaves a weird film on you. You feel like a fish.

You smell fish. You got padpoles in your fucking. The B-hole, that's wild. They're having a good time down there. Listen. Talk to me. Yeah, we both stink, obviously, in our different ways. And, you know, we are, we're both washed.

You're hanging on to being cool, though. I don't think we are. I think our best days are ahead of us. I think we're getting to our best selves. I know I am, my best selves. I think your better self than you've been for a year. Thank you. Yeah.

When was my best self? I don't know. What were you doing when you were seven? That was probably the last time you were really cooking. No, I was looking at my mom's roll on deodorant and eating dirt and getting yelled at a lot. Getting smacked around. Okay. I deserved it.

I'd cut my own hair. I played soccer. I got a perm. It wasn't my best one. yourself a perm? How the fuck did you give yourself a perm? What the fucking airtime in school? My mom gave me a perm. Don't you need chemicals for that?

Yeah, it's chemicals. Yeah, it burned. Yeah. But I want to have a perm because my cousins had curly hair. It's cool. Yeah. Maybe I'll get another perm. Yeah, I mean, you know what?

Perm and a tattoo? Why not? I won't recognize it. 1983, you'll be fucking cooking. You should have been gone. This wasn't big for you guys, but Did you guys ever shower with a hat on to get the lettuce? To get the what?

That was like a thing in like when I was in middle school. You'd shower with a flat brim hat and you could help. It would give you the fur. Yeah, because you'd get that like kind of that, that, that, yeah, the lettuce. You know, you just could have put the hat on after you got out of the shower when your hair was wet. It was a thing of like doing it all together. It was a laxbro myth. I kind of, I kind of understand.

That's fine. I think that's okay. We used to shower with a hat. on that would like form to your head the best they would say uh put your cleats in the dishwasher when you're trying to get like back when i guess bending it is kind of back but uh before flap rims you would wear it and it would that and i remember them saying like if you got a good pair of jeans i tried wearing a pair of jeans in the shower like they would form do you better yes boots too it's like something michael scott would do i got ladies jeans on in the shower

Yeah, you're not right. I did it once in college, I think. I didn't feel right. And they were a bitch to get off. I bought ladies jeans once at the thrift store. After I had lost a bunch of weight and I was in jeans for the first time. That sounds like it's this weekend, if I'm being honest with you. I bought a two piece and up there, ladies, ladies jeans.

I didn't realize it until like half the night out. It was like, they were like, wasn't ladies. Guys kept crying pinching your butt. Liz Claire. That was the brand. Yeah. Liz Claire jeans. Yeah

A lot of guys are hitting on me Oh All these guys Don't buy me a drink He's thinking I'll do a sex on the beach Yeah All right

Listen all that I mean listen Yeah I don't know I'm definitely not I'm still a dirtbag at heart That's loser shit To me

That's like Not losership But that's like nerd stuff I mean I disagree I think those guys Probably do very well They're probably

have a nice portfolio. That's nerd stuff. I don't have a nice portfolio. I just said most of my money is under my mattress. With my blood. And my semen. Yeah, I mean, that's not the kind of dad I've ever seen. That's not what father figures in my life.

Give a son shirt. No. Was there one in the works? No. When's Father's Day? Soon. No, it's in June. Passed.

Yeah. You get anything good? I never asked you. Uh-uh. No ties or nothing? Kid didn't get you nothing? Ties. She got me.

The kid didn't get me nothing. I got, I'm sure I got something. I don't remember. Maybe I was away. I think we were away. Were we? Yeah. Summer's flying by.

We were screaming at each other in Los Angeles, I believe. Ah, yes, the big O.A. Trip. But that's not... That's a long time ago. Not that long. That's not... There's no...

I wouldn't even... You also... I'd have to wear that stuff around my... Like, if I tried to roll into fucking North Wildwood Beach with that... You get crucified. So it's, like, still like... At least I know there's people keeping you in check down there. That worry about you.

Yeah, I think. The frozen yogurt, the malls, the fucking, you know, home projects, the oven, pizza oven, making pizzas. You bought me the pizza oven. Yeah, and you threw it away. I didn't throw. I still have it. You got a new one because your new one because your new buddy told you. No, you bought me one that stinks.

It's not my problem. You gave me a bad gift. It's $35. Which I will need back. Yeah, I mean, like, I wear. I apologize for that garage fire. I wear Dale Earnow. heart intimidator hat when I'm doing it's like I'm far from checking in on

I'm far from that I have to if I wore a fucking hat like that I want to come to Brooklyn and hang out just let me know yeah that's what I want to do hang out in a window of basement I got a pool dog it's a pool it's a pool what water in it's starting to get a little green again from being just pouring regular we've lost the pool poor regular bleach in there I'm sure that would work I'm sure that would work I'm it would kill i kill anything yeah including your skin cells deleted a little bit can let's a little it's a little

cloudy we had a bad storm huh see bet so you got branches in the yard you're worried about that have you had a guy come over and trim any branches yet course okay what's what is that what is that trashy behavior it's not I'm just jealous because I don't have a home

this guy thinks he's real cool with his branches got ash plundo over there hanging out um Yeah, no, I got you. I got you. It's good stuff. All right, let's see. All this aside, we got a gosh darn family episode on our hands.

As you know, when you're joining old Patreon, we will answer your garbage question. This one's from Eric. $10, homie, never have one read. Is it garbage if you see a helicopter flying low and say, oh, that's not good. They're probably looking for someone. That's hilarious. I've never thought that. That's so good.

That's really good. That's a, dude. That's something you say in that hat. No. Yeah, it is. No. Yeah, uh-huh. That's the kind of guy who tucks his pant legs into his fucking socks so he doesn't get tics.

That ain't me. Let me ask you this. Somebody drives by the house roll. You guys flying. No. No. You got me pegged as the wrong guy. Okay.

I mean, what in, you know, I'm a dirt. I'm still the same dirt bag, you know. My man. I'm not getting tattoos. and joining a band. But, you know, it's like what a bad character in a movie, though? What? Exactly what you're doing.

I'm reinventing myself. And then, but not aware of it. Huh? I'm aware. I don't know. I'm aware. I don't think so. I stink.

Which camera's mine. I stink. What's your vape flavor going to be? Blueberry mint. They have anything, right? I'm sure. Not here, though. Can't get it.

in New York, right? Oh, you can. You got to know a guy. You live in Brooklyn. You're thinking about getting a tattoo. You don't think you can get fucking flavored vapes. You're a wannabe, dude. You're a fucking wannabe.

What's this hacky sack? People keep talking about. You're doing the yo-yo. You're doing shit that was cool in the 70s? Who's this band, Gis? I got to start listening to him. You guys want to play Jacks? All right, let's see here.

This one's from Foley Sox. $10 home, he never had one red. You's ever gotten a bartering war between two cable companies. My dad once told DirecTV that if they want his TV box back, they'll have to come pick it up out of the front yard. They gave him Sunday ticket 30% off and lowered his price instantly. These are good. That's good.

That's great. We never really got into that. Patty, I know, I'm sure. My mother has changed phone companies, data plans, internet company. She will fucking, she's like an heat. she will drop it in 30 seconds flat. She does not give a shit. I feel like that's all.

That was stuff of like the early 2000 where you go, I'm doing this. I remember my brother would get HBO. When we found out, that's how I found out what pro rated men. If you got HBO and can't watch, had it for a week, they would a pro rate,

they would charge you per day instead of the month. If it was like 30 bucks a month. month and you had it for a week, they would charge you $9. So he would get HBO and watch like all of Band of Brothers then cancel it and then only have to pay $7. I don't know you could do that. You can cancel in a month. That's at some point they were doing that where they would pro raged.

And they smartened up. Yeah, I guess. I don't know. I used to know that my, our phone company's got trashier and trashier as the house phone was dying because there'd be a new phone. They'd give you a phone. Oh. And those V-Tech phones?

Yeah. Oh, brutal. That's fucking, I forgot about that. Yeah, you know it was legendary, though? The, the original Find My Phone, the button that you push on the thing. On the receiver. Where the hell is it? On the dock.

Yeah, push that. Right. That was revolutionary. It was. It was. I remember in college, Comcast at that time, at that time, had come out with the triple play. Remember that? Mm-hmm.

$99. You got your phone. You got your cable. And what else was it? It was like a limited data. And a phone. So it was phone, TV, and internet. It was the Comcast triple play, $99.

And then we came, so we got our house in college and we got, you would call and they'd go, hey, listen, I go, I don't want the phone, but I need cable and TV. or TV and internet. And they go, well, it's just cheaper. It's going to be $129 for those two because there's no package. So you might as well get to triple play. You don't even have to plug the phone in. So we said, all right.

But I go, you know what? It's still like, you know what? I have a house phone. You have a house phone. Yeah, you know what I mean? We had a house phone, dude. And my one boy shout out, Eddie, lived with him for six months until he switched and moved his boy in because he couldn't take the least.

Shout out, John, who didn't go to school. He just lived in our house in North Philly. But Eddie's phone was constantly off or not active. His cellular phone. His cellular phone. This is at the time of minutes and nights and weekends. Yeah, maybe. I probably, yeah, not probably not.

At that point, like the iPhone might be out, like iPhone 1. So it's like, but charger battery life. Yeah. It was, it wasn't what it is now. Was he holding court on the house? fun. Dude, he'd have it in his pocket. We'd be outback smoking. And he was living a life where people were calling him a lot. Gotcha. Got you got like neighborhood guys, guys he worked with. He worked down at Ruby, uh, no, Ruth Chris. Ah, he was a waiter of Ruth Chris. He can imagine what his social life was

like. There is, he was probably crossing fans with you in some back alley at some point. There is no bigger dirtball than the corporate steakhouse. Sweeter. Shout out to you. That guy can get you anything, any time, any day, any minute. That guy's connected. He would be, at this point, he's out

of school. He's just working. He's taking a semester off, or they asked them to leave or something. So he's... Ruth Chris. He's got... Pushed lobster, Mac. He's got that phone pretty much on his belt. He's got it in his

waiting tables. He would run to the corner store. That receiver was getting action. He used to always test how far you get away from the house of that thing. Well, because you couldn't text. Now I'm thinking about it. He lost all text messaging capability. So he's got a call.

And he was on the phone like a stockbroker in the 80s, dude. He was like he works. As soon as 9 o'clock comes, boom. Like he worked for Strattford, Othmont or whatever. He was Stratton Oakmont. He was closing every. And I just remember he would be smoking a Newport fucking on the phone. and sweatpants

Talking to people You know him He's the good looking kid Sober now Oh no shit Yeah yeah yeah yeah I love that kid Yeah yeah yeah

Kid's a looker He's a kid doing well But yeah that was his The cordless dude Hang with a guy Who's on a cordless phone Is never a good sign Someone jammed the fuck up

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Test drive it at your local Subaru dealer or visit Subaru.ca. All right, let's see here. This one's a great name, patio furniture. Hello. Do you or anyone you know have a picture with the naked cowboy in Times Square? That's a great one. We, yeah. I mean, I did say, that guy's dead.

Is it a different one? I see if you can get it. Yeah, that guy, that wasn't the naked cowboy I grew up with. Not that I grew up with them? Stepdad was a fruit. I see, but quite the cattle cave of roommates. Yeah, no, that, uh... The guy that...

He was a different guy. He was fucked up. Yeah, so we did a show. This is... We did a show for an AM radio station. We did. Sid and Nancy, what's it called? Not sit in somebody.

Sid and the kid. Look, see if you can find that out. New York AM radio's Sid and Sid and Boomer. Remember when they brought us up there? They would give these new guys a chance. They were not. They didn't know who we...

Fuck you talking about. I'm not trashing these guys. They're a nice enough guy. I can't, but maybe Kevin could. No, those guys were making radio cash at the height of fucking... Yeah, they were making... What's his name?

Who's the guy with the cowboy hat? I missed money. Don Amos. He died, too. Yeah. I got a tattoo of him. I'm gonna. My next one

I missed my dad And Dragonflies Was it Sid Rosenberg? Yes Okay yeah We're actually cool as shit It's called Sid and Friends now Yeah

It was sitting somebody else Wasn't it Curtis Swilla Curtis was there He was a All right so listen We It was like meeting Darth Vader Our old podcast

Yeah Our old Is that we did That wasn't Are you garbage That was hard feelings That was hard feelings Holy shit

So our old podcast Was on a radio network on a podcast of a radio network, right? OG podcast network. Which we were, yeah, we recorded in... An AM radio station. Dude, that was fun, though.

That was a cool time in our life, I do have to say. Okay, yeah, it was. That was 100% that part of it was. That was excited. We were fucking recording above Madison Square Garden and one pen plaza, two pen plaza, bought everybody who's one. In one of the, in the, you know... Yeah, one of the old school booths.

We go on... That's right. I had a real cough button. I think it was the Bernie and Sid Show. Bernie and Sid Show. And there was some sort of live event honoring them. Right. And there was some comics on the show.

Brewer. We watched Jim Brewer. We were, we struggled. Oh, my God. He went up. I remember, yeah. Took the room apart. Yeah.

And it was one of those things where he's like, you just see it because they were like, they had not, they changed the order. It was like, we all. got there before. They was like, hey, get there at six. Everybody shows up at six. And then it was like a five-hour show. Like, you're going to, you know.

And they told him, you're not going on. And he was like, what the heck's happening? He was literally, he looked like he was half asleep, standing on the side. Second he got on stage, it was like, fuck you. It was insane. Yeah. Murdered. But they brought us, they didn't know who we were.

It wasn't them. No. The guy who was producing our podcast pushed us to get on. Yeah. And we got on. We thought it was like. It's our shot. We thought this was.

We get in with these guys. We get in with these guys. and radio guys. You're in the Guardian Angels. He had beaten people up on the subway. Come on them satin jackets for the boys, huh? Yeah, but the naked cowboy was there. And he showed up.

Remember his managers showed up on meth. That guy showed up. Dude, he was, he's like, you know, Gary's not here yet, but he's coming. They were calling the naked cowboy by his first name. He was hammered drunk and not in a fun way. Let me see. No, it's not the same guy. It was a different guy.

It's got, I mean, it's Robert Burke is the naked cowboy. He's got to probably not be trashed in the poor guy with this. He's got to make a living. He's doing great. He's got an Instagram going. Yeah, I just got to kick our ass. He's fucking pretty good shape. Looks great.

He's 55. Is he? Yeah, it looks incredible. I feel bad. I feel bad. That's all right. You don't feel bad. No, I do.

He's doing better than you. What do you mean? What? What chicks? It's a deal. He's shit. Shredded. Shred it?

Got a good career. Uh-huh. Famous street performer wears Cowboy. He had, whatever. He might be sober now. I don't know. Whatever. Maybe he was coming from a bachelor party.

I don't fucking know. Sure. I remember he had a flask in his boot, though, because he had no pockets because he's a naked cowboy. Switch blade in the other. I saw him. Metro Cardenowski's. I saw, that was like a showbiz moment for me. We were like, we're all in the wings waiting to go.

and he was going on next and they were like we got to get here he's got to get back to time square this is a fucking charity gig to him you know what I mean he's making all he makes all his money in the fucking street dog so it's like a variety show yeah it was like on the Muppet show we're over in the wings and they so we got not bought or he was going ahead they were moving him ahead they were ahead in the lineup and he pulled the flask out of his boot took a nip right and for like you know took a fucking whack of it and goes here goes nothing and screw put it back and went out like fucking da-na-da-da-na-na-na-na-na-ha-un fucking

plate brought the house there. That was definitely Rumpelmans. Rumblemans, when you're in the naked cowboy. I don't think it was a Bordeaux or Cabernet. Maybe a little bit of Nisi wine in there. Yeah, I remember that was a, that was a... But shout out to him. He was a fiction.

He used to be... I used to watch TRL and he was in it. Like he was in the background in Times Square. He would be down there. That's probably placement. That's... management placement. Make sure you get in there now wide shot. Yeah.

I should not doing that on Good Morning America, showing up outside there. It's sad, though. They need anybody they can get. Remember how they used to pan around to, like they go outside? I'll do that with a sign. Kippy stinks.

You should. Not you personally. Another guy. I'll get up at 8 o'clock in the morning. All right. I saw. I was going to try to defend it. But they used to go.

There used to be mobbed to people. Sure. That's Rockefeller Plaza, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mobbed. And now you can see them. They go, oh, we're going to talk to the Dempsey's who are in from Connecticut. And then they just get other, they get other groups.

Punch in and fill out this shot because it's. We did it once. Not like we came late. We were a huge fans of the Today Show. Who does that? My mom. My mom and all my aunts have done that. I get that.

Like St. Patrick's day. But the family. I screamed at her. So embarrassing. What, did she went? Yeah. He's an old broad. I mean, a group of a group of geese go, that's fine.

He went as a family. You like the Today Show? Who the fuck likes the Today Show as a family? You should have been in school. We watched it before school every day, the Today Show. Times you go to school. That shows on like 9 o'clock. Thanks, rich kids have it better.

Shut up at school. It's like 7 a.m. It's cooking. You guys would get up and watch the today. My dad would have it playing when me and my brother were breakfast. Brian Gumble? No, that was more Matt Lauer days. Matt Lauer, Katie Couric?

Yeah. Huh. Wow. Rocher? Where in the world is Matt Lauer? No, where in the world was Al Roker? Where's the Matt Lauer? Why, where was he? It was a segment they would do it once a year for a week and he would just be in different places in the world and they would do the broadcast from there. That's all AI.

He probably did that in the fucking 30 Rock in the studio. He wasn't fucking fat-ass traveling all over the place. He's all fucking studio 8-H. Yeah, I Where in the world? Where in the world is Matt Lauer? Oh my God. Would you guys sing this song as it was going on?

Definitely. That is wholesome. Man, my dad was coming down 10 minutes late for work, crushing a fucking cup of coffee, giving me a smack yelling at me. That's what you should get tattooed. Remember how he'd want to be remembered. Tell me what an embarrassment of that I was.

Sacking you around, you little dick, bitch. Yeah, that's I don't know I never I mean the stuff we liked as a family It's just Unsuitable for a broadcast Yeah we're just different

My dad took me to one of the first wing bowls At the electric factory That's what you know When like there's like other There's drunk guys going You shouldn't be here Talking out of my You brought your kid to a fucking

And then other guys going I'll get that's a good family right You're getting judged from both angles I'm like, I wish my kids called me back. Want a cigar kid? I wish my kids called me back. Hey, at the house phone. Get the triple plate.

Shout out to the slow skis. Remember the slow skis? What the fuck was that, dude? Who are you rolling with? The slow skis. Woo-wee. You don't remember a Comcaste Sloski? Kind of helmet did the kid wear.

Jesus, great, Sloski. You don't remember to Comcast Sloskis? No. My mom. Who are they a family? They own it? They were a family. Oh, the commercial.

Of turtles. Turtles? They were the Sloskis. Oh. My mom I'll still go. Like, I'm the, my mom said it. I saw my mom two days ago. She goes, like, we're the goddamn Sloskis.

That's what she said. She makes it sound like a Polish family from the Northeast. Off Kotman ad to Sloski. We're in our t-shirts backwards. You know to Gary. How's smell like onions. We're no Patty and Ollie Slowsky. No.

I don't remember them. You don't remember them? I remember the WhatsApp. That's about when I checked out. That's what pop culture was at. It's fine. It really was. I just picture you go, I'm not topping out.

You turn the TV on. You need a Tony Romo bad game and a couple of those. Let's go. Yeah, that's when I kind of checked out. Wait, do you think Tony Romo and the WhatsApp guys were on at the same time? No way. Yeah, and Britney Spears. No.

Yes. Tony Romo and the What's Up guys? Yeah. No, the What's up guys? I was like, no, I'm talking about what that? The guy from Bud Light, but that. Yeah, Luke, get a dead. That was young.

That's 1999. Oh, Romo might have been there. Started, yeah. Started in 99. What are you nuts? I didn't realize that was that. I thought I was younger for that. Oh, I'm thinking of the bud.

I'm thinking of the frogs. I was young. I didn't like them. Why? Scared me. Romo signed in 2003 Oh shit Yeah

That's all right You're I mean you're in the same I thought he was 15 years old I was thinking one were the frogs The frogs were early Earlier 90s He don't even know I know frogs

You guys are you watching fucking this old house With your parents I was I would eat one piece of Like whole bread And watch this old house At like 10 p.m. with my dad If I couldn't sleep One piece of whole bread

Yeah like whole wheat toast Would you have butter and jelly on it? Nah, just be plain. Why would that put you to sleep? But you toast it? No. What? What are you, a billy goat?

What is over there eating trash? Hey, why? I don't know. It's just nice. My dad would always be watching this old house late at night, or, you know, 10 p.m. And we were supposed to be going to bed at like six. We had different childhoods. I remember one time, I remember once.

We had HBO downstairs. Uh-huh. And I was slow. It was, this is when channels, you had to, like, there was no guide. You know what I mean? And they were chunk. And he'd wait. It had to, like, fully load before you could skip.

Sure. You know what I mean? And I was young. I was young. And it was me and him, probably Friday. You know, it had to be a weekend night. Charlie time you saw him, yeah. That was what his custodial rights kicked in.

Cornerpointed. supervisor sitting in the armchair. Oh, man. Clutching her purse. Why is the boy so heavy set? That seems like a lot of bowls of cereal for one boy.

Mr. Ryan, are you tried exercising the boy at all? She's waving to the smoke out of her face. He's just cranking eaters. Which we wear a smoking house. Oh, jeez. We wear a smoking house.

Smoking inside. Smoking inside last night, I eat her one. I mean, smoking inside versus, they didn't smoke outside. No. What do you mean? Like, go outside and what? Never. Not one.

It was, we would sit there watching TV, just eater bill. But it was me and him. and he was flipping through the channels HBO was channel 13 and we get to 13 I never told you this and it was a guy laying down but it was like more of a risque

it was more of a risque movie versus a porn like the Red Shoe Diaries I don't know what that is did it for me it was in that probably something more like that it was like more of like actors it was more of like a sexy scene

Soft core. Yeah, this was more soft core. No penit. I didn't see any penetration. Not HBO. What the hell? But he was laying there and she was... Sooking his duke?

No, she was jerking him off. Really? But she was like down towards the end of the bed. She was like kneeling. He was laying down. She was kneeling down by his Johnson. Yeah, she was blowing him and jerking him off. You never had that?

I'm trying to explain my point of view as a seven-year-old. Yeah. I don't need you to explain it to me now as a 40-year-old man with a kid. I get that part of it. I'm trying to show you what I understood as a 7-year-old. I didn't understand why she was so far, like, that he was laying. She was, like, kneeling or something. She was upright.

Uh-huh. And just, and the shot was from, like, the foot of the bed. So it was like. and I remember being like What the heck But it took so long for the channel to load And then he could hit the button real quick And I like

It was one of the things I'm like Do I look back or not look? Is he going to say something? Nothing we just kept Right on the You look back He's like Hmm

I couldn't tell you what my father watched at night Because of that similar same reason If I came downstairs It was either Emeril Live With the bang That was the pinnacle That was the thing That was it.

That was the pinnacle of comedy to my stepdad. Emeraldive, bang. I think, bam, bam. We should have nuked the place. The second that guy, that's Sopranos. That's 2001, 2002. That was it. That's as good as it's going to get.

Yeah, I fucking, dude, I watch his Instagram all the time. He's in there cooking. Yeah. Some sharp guy. It's like what Bert does. He's got, he's got the team around him. You know, it's awesome. Still cooking.

Yeah. Still cooking. It's great. Proud of him. Well, it'd be weird if he stopped cooking. He didn't get into it for the business. He's a fucking chef. I always like the couple on Emeraldive that was up front that was at the bar.

Sure. I always thought they were swingers. I don't know why. I knew they were doing weird shit. You know what I mean? No? I never really watched it. I've just more, no.

Is that my point? You think everyone's a swinger. Yeah. My dad was either watching Emmerolive or when I came downstairs. First of all, if I came downstairs when I was supposed to be in. bed. I wasn't getting a fucking piece of toast. I'll tell you that. And sit down, bud. I got upstairs. Because he was watching something he shouldn't have been watching. I don't think I had a bedtime now that I say that. I didn't have a bedtime, but it was just if he was trying to watch

some skin flick and I popped down, you know, he'd be down there, Patty'd be up in bed. You do the math. I wasn't watching this old house. But we would watch that on Saturday and Sundays to get. I was watching this old asshole. Man, that girl's gone. wild fucking infomercial would come on holy shit couldn't tell me nothing um I went to a big school just like worried about the

tit you missed out on 25 years you would have failed out of there too oh man these girls were pulling up their shirts I should have went there such a horn dog it's crazy I could have went on a jet ski kippy out there like Kavisoo

suking someone jerking a guy off inside you're such a weird guy You would have flunked out so much faster. Where? At like Penn State or something. I did it pretty quick. Yeah.

I theoretically should have flunked out my freshman, my first semester of freshman year. But I changed my majors. You would have been walking around with a cordless phone, some guys. Talking about how you get. Pretended to be on the phone. I got to get to the Capitol grill to pick up a shift. Penn State's a fucking big school where a lot of people that don't go to school there or live there. Sounds like you're about to move to Penn State.

Stay college. Wonderful town. Nah, fuck that. Yeah. Happy Dally. It's all gray and shit. Those football players walking around like their hot shit. Fuck, yeah, that would have made you.

That would make you jealous. No. You're probably new a tattoo. You're going to be the guy who gets a tattoo. No chance of me. You're going to be the guy who gets a tattoo and then for way too long. It's going to have like the bandage on it and be like, dude, watch out. I just got fresh eating.

Whoa, God. Oh. And then you're like, see someone like, Wawa has a tattoo? And you're like, yeah. How fresh is your ink? Stuff. You're going to do that. Let me get a sip off your vape.

Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. Joey Buttafuco hair you got going on. What do you do? He strangled people? I don't know. And they cut his dick off or something? No, Joey Buttafuko's wife killed the mistress or shot the mistress.

Not a mistress shot the wife. Yeah. She stayed with him. And she lived. Yeah. Fing her round. Yeah. Got it slinging packs.

Jesus Christ. Okay. Curious to get your take on this is from Trev Dog. $10 homie. Please. Is it garbage to order actual food, anything but ice cream from a dairy queen? Now, I have a few questions for you. Wow.

We were not a dairy queen family. There was one and it was just the, did they offer any seating? The only one that was ever relatively close to us was next to a mini golf course. And we would get the ice cream. What are you complaining about? But I'm saying it was never, I had never been at one where. food would be an option or a, did they have seating? Great question.

I do want to say this. Compliment you and the homies on these questions have been fantastic. And it's funny, the first one about the helicopter, I had a good one and I forgot it. It was something along those lines. It was a saying that dads or something say, but I can't remember it. But it helped jog my memory a little bit. Questions have been fantastic today. This is something I hold near and dear to my heart.

Back in the day when Dairy Queen was, you know, evolving in, I believe, the 60s, 70s, they were more like a McDonald's or a Burger King. They did have Dairy Queen burgers. They did have fries. They did all that kind of stuff. Chicken tenders, all that. Not chicken tenders. But then I think as the 80s and the 90s kind of set in, they really focused on the soft serve. The Blizzard became very, very popular.

And it was mainly an ice cream spot. And then they kind of reinvented themselves, I believe when private equity got involved. And they started trying to compete slightly with the sonic model, okay? Mm-hmm. You know, et cetera, et cetera. They do offer burgers, fries. I know they offer them. And chicken tenders.

I don't know about at every location, but. I mean, they had them at the one I would go to it. It was literally like a fucking. Oh, they had them there. Yeah. But nobody got them. We would only go in the song. It was like very, it was next to a.

minigoth course so you'd be like oh we'll go play mini golf and then we'll get ice cream and there was no seats or anything so it would just be like we're not going to get a fucking burger it was just nobody ever ordered and I never saw anybody eating it's funny my good my good friend growing up Laura she worked at a dairy queen when this kind of started to happen because I remember I went there to hang out with her and she got me an order at chicken tenders and I ate an order of chicken tenders I haven't had chicken tenders and fucking Deary Queen. I thought it was all blizzards and none.

Where did you sit? Was there seed? I'm saying, have you been to one where they're seating? Outside. There's a couple tables outside. There was one by us, like 30 minutes out drive from us, and that had seating. Like a more of a friendly. But small.

Big? Like, how many people? I mean, you could fit. I mean, it was like a subway size. Like it was more. So small, but it was like two subways, I would say. I always feel like that's a place you get shot at. It was not a good area.

It was like, it was near a golf. course and we get blizzards after. Like that's a place where somebody comes in and kills everybody and robs in a strip mall. Yes, I'm looking at pictures of them and they're very, it's very, uh, you find all the bodies in the bathroom or something like that. I don't know what you're talking about. What are you talking about?

I, I don't like those. With the full windows. Sure. And like the hard plastic seats. Yeah. I don't know why. Just didn't like it. Yes. I see what you're saying.

It is very, um. But that being said, I did have. have a double cheese bacon burger from a dairy queen. I want to say within the last 15 years, and it was absolutely phenomenal. I'm sure. They're big on my YouTube shorts. Like a lot of like the fast food influencers are like they're going to dairy queen.

Okay. Yeah. I got to tell you, the blizzard hit the scene with a fucking force of a million Hiroshima bombs. Yeah, we were always a bit Weirder when it came to We didn't fuck with the ice cream At chains like that

Like where would you go? Hey, where would you go get ice cream? Like some local place like snickerdoodles or something like that One We would really only do ice cream in the winter Or in the summer Like go get ice cream would be in the summer We're down the shore most of the time Yeah, most people get ice cream in the summer

Yeah He's got ice cream in the winter You've never had ice cream in the winter? Not, I would We wouldn't load the car up and go get an ice cream. Maybe the spring. I'm not saying you did. I'm just sharing when we ate ice cream.

It was the summer. I'm not saying you didn't. You're telling me how a watch works. Okay. I don't know what that means, but it's from Sicario and I love it. Uh-huh. It worked. It did work in that context.

Did it? Is that what he meant? We would just go to Rita's. Okay. Our ice cream would be down the shore. Of course. On the boardwalk. Yeah, and if like, core brothers.

Yeah, but not real. We'd go, we'd do something smaller. Like we'd like hassles. You get hassles over there on like 20th Street or whatever. Got Bassett's done in it. Yes. Shut up to Bassett's ice cream. But we would do that.

And if we were doing that, we were going down the shore a bunch, it was like, you had ice cream on the weekends. You didn't have ice. We're not going out on a fucking Wednesday night to get ice cream. That's the one good thing in the- But we would do Rita's. Mm-hmm. We'll run over to Rita's. That'll be the treat.

Late spring, early summer on a Sunday. That was one thing. That was something. Patty and Terry were good at. They loaded us up in the car. And, like, the sun was going down. They'd take us to get an ice cream or something like that. Yeah.

One time it went horribly wrong. Oh, really? Yeah. It was the blizzard. That's probably why I pushed back on it and have a little bit of an emotional attachment to it. My dad had just bought this Mustang, an old Mustang, that he was going to redo,

which he was going to redo it with the money that he wasted on my college tuition, which that didn't work out. He ended up selling it. I remember the guy worked on the car in my driveway. which I think was a point of contention with my father because he didn't really fuck up me at that time. Rightly so. You get all this tattooed on you.

But I was a chocolate ice cream Eminem's Blizzard Man. And the big promo was you could turn it upside down. It was so thick. So we drove at the King of Prussia. We got the ice cream. We're driving back. My brother's got his. My mom got his.

And I turned mine upside down to show my brother and it fucking went all over the back seat. And they freaked the fuck out. Sure. Yeah, pulled into 7-Eleven, had a leg, dude What the fuck? You can't fucking do anything. Fucking goddamn fucking, man.

But plenty of times it was fun. But they do have, they do have. Burgers, yeah, yeah, I picked up on that. No, I always knew that. We were just like, when it came to that kind of stuff, we were never corporate. We didn't go, like, corporate like that. Usually we didn't either, but Dairy Queen wasn't move.

Yeah, just so it's like a lot of that stuff. Fantastic product. We didn't have, we were always Wawa over 7-11, even though Wawa's corporate, it felt more. No, of course. That's the time. More local, homie a little bit. Yeah, it was just never like, yeah, I don't know. So like that stuff would, I have not a lot of experience with the big chain.

I mean, obviously fast food, but outside of that. It was funny because this, when we went, it was at a time before Dairy Queen really went. I think it was before it was bought up by like whoever owns Kentucky. Hucky fried chicken and all that kind of stuff. Whatever. Young brands. So it still felt, and it was like the little hut of Johnson Highway near North Road.

Huh? Near Schlong Road. Johnson, the Highway. Near Pecker Lane. Huge Dick Boulevard. Two on the nose. But in Ambler, they had a local ice cream spot called cone heads, which was phenomenal. But we didn't go over there.

But my high school girlfriend's mom used to. to get lime ice cream from there all the time and bring it home in a tub like it was that good man i got yelled at so i ate so much of it her mom would come down and it'd be half gone she'd freak out on me she was cool but you know rightly so sure and yes i do see the pattern that's for him there yeah your behavior of being an idiot and people getting frustrated with that also just like wild work to be over someone else's house and eat a bunch of their shit i was in high school what do you mean I was the high school boyfriend that's if I was supposed to do that stuff you think you're living in a sitcom it's crazy I did you still do yeah I wanted to you still do

wait let's you still do sure yeah like that like because you it's so funny you have the manners and you know you're not supposed to but you do it anyway which would come with a lot of guilt and anxiety and all that kind of stuff yeah I said just going like I'll do a scoop and walk away you can't but you I've seen you excellent you out of like knowing you shouldn't. I don't want to be the, you have shown that another aspect. I don't want to be, we're not the kind of guys who do this. We're not the kind of, but then like when it comes to that, you're just like,

I'm going to deal with whatever ramifications come of this. Knowingly, no one's going to come down and be like, you ate all my special ice cream? Thanks a lot, bro. So glad you date my girlfriend. I think I wanted them to be, oh, you're having sex with my daughter in the basement why I'm upstairs. Talk about a blizzard. Uh

Yeah I want it Unconditional love I think I wanted to be able to do everything I wanted unconditional love Does that make sense? Maybe In a misguided way

Maybe Yeah I don't know Or just fucking like lamb ice cream And you know what Go fuck yourself Just like doing what I want Don't care what other people think

Uh Okay Point taken Um Lyme ice cream is phenomenal Yeah, I get that Such is just like such It's such repetitive behavior

It's insane I was a goddamn kid dickhead You did it at 40 when you drank all those diet Dr. Pepper Oh my God You want a case of Dr. Pepper Would that shut you up? They weren't mine

I'll get Flip a case of the How many fucking tickets I get him There are Airbnb's in L.A's in there Swimming around eating burgers Flip call me I need to want to Do you want me? Correct.

I'm just saying it's a same. I steal his haircut? Yeah. I stole Flips hair. Wait, you think that's Flips haircut? Well, I got a picture of, I had Flip send me. That's crazy work. I use that and I used the chat GPT that you gave me with multiple salon stylists.

Done with barbers. Dating and otherwise. You hear that, Rico. Your days are numbered. I don't care how many lollipop. You get me? Oh, that's an end zone. We got to wrap here.

Gang, we love you to death. And you know what? We'll see you in three days. Peace.