Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Dr. Phil!

Episode Date: August 20, 2024

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Adam Ray also known as Dr. Phil! You know Dr. Phil from Dr. Phil Live!, Kill Tony, The Joe Rogan Experience, Bad Friends, 2 Bears 1 Cave, Whiskey Ginger, Bertcast, Tiger Belly, About Last Night podcast, stand up comedy and more! Thanks for watching the Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! AYG Live Show Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Thesis: https://takethesis.com Promo Code: Garbage Ladder Life: https://www.LadderLife.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hachi-machi New York City and the surrounding areas. We got a brand new show coming to the Gramercy Theatre August 27th. We're gonna have some of our favorite guests come on and answer your garbage questions live. Yeah, I'm not supposed to say anything, but we got Mark Norman, Ari Shaffir, and Big J. Okerson. All tickets available at rugarbage.com. We'll see you there. Welcome to another exciting edition of R U Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley.

Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U garbage? Oh, yeah It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it at the group to be classy Yeah, just a big old piece of trash trash trash. I'm your host H fully coming at you on a soggy rainy day We're out back here at Tooties in a new edition. She's on hurricane watch. Okay malt liquor She's all banged up in there. Yeah, not do it. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman

and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What up, gang? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube. As you know, those numbers are true to roof.

Cookin'. And then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com slash RU Garbage. You go over there. It's a gosh darn party gang. But gang we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. He holds a doctorate in clinical psychology. He is one of our most beloved television personalities and author. He

needs no introduction. Give it up for Dr. Phil everybody. Appreciate it happy to be here thanks for the LaCroix more of a crystal clear Pepsi guy but you know what crystal clear Pepsi is a lot like having a stepmom okay people bring it to Thanksgiving and everyone goes well nobody wanted that but dad brought it so I'll take a sip I do want to promote my book we've got issues We've all got issues kev's got HPV and Foley's got Got a weird-looking penis, but I don't know that I just okay. Well, we'll get into it in a second I want to plug my dates real quick. Dr. Phil live is on the road October 25th at the Miller Theatre in Philly October 26 at Capital One Hall in DC. Where's my where's my cam?

October 26 at Capital One Hall in DC. Where's my cam? I'm working like Tucker, just fucking sideways and through the milves toite. But all right, through the milves toite, by the way, is a live show I started in college. We'll come back to that. October 26, Capital One Hall in Tysons, Virginia. And then November 15th here in New York City

at the Beacon Theater. December 6th at the Celebrity Theater in Phoenix, Arizona. December 7th at the San Diego Civic Theater in San Diego, California. Bring your bros, bring your dads, bring your dad's weird friend that touched you in the wagon and we'll rip it up. All those tickets at adamraycounty.com.

Happy to be here. I got a half- Dr. Phil is cooking. I got a half-chub. That's all we have for today. Yeah, that's it. Thanks for letting me come on just to plug my dates and plug my butt with a thumb or a plug.

Stay healthy, everybody. Stay healthy. I'm a big fan of the show. Thanks for letting me come by. Big fan my dates and plug my butt with a thumb or a plug. Stay healthy everybody. Stay healthy. I'm a big fan of the show, thanks for letting me come by. Big fan of you, Dr. Phil. Appreciate it, appreciate it, yeah. How was the flight in? It's a personal question, but it was good. I did a Spirit for the first time ever.

Okay, you're really rolling the dice with the Spirit. Only one door, two wheels, but four flight attendants with Asperger's so hey tomato tomato Ray Romano You like to fly up front Doc or you like to sit in the back with the common folks? First class is better let's just not skip around the bush. Hey you're reaching to the flyer. You got the cash? I got the cash usually I'm flying by myself but you know I get called out for this a lot where it's like you got your own own plane, what are you flying with the peasants for? But you gotta stay connected as you guys do with your show and your fans,

you gotta maintain a relatability factor. So if I get on the plane, I'm in first, and maybe I get bumped down to coach because I threw a cookie at the pilot. Only gotta get bumped down to coach. Oh, you get bumped down, I mean, you can do it. Remember that girl that said, that motherfucker back there is not Phil.

She was in first class, they kicked her to coach, and her boyfriend, who was in coach, she went back there, I think to, I forget, I read the article, something about, he cheated on her, he fucked someone else in the bath, I forget, I don't even read the article, but my point is, you can do whatever you want on a plane these days.

Will you take food on a plane, Dr. Phil? Or what if you do take food? You have to. You can't rely on a plane's ability to feed you. That's pretty profound. And I talk about that in my book, We've Got Issues. Chapter 42, if you're getting sushi on a Delta flight, you probably also think air

bud is based on a true story. That's a good airline air bud. Air bud? Oh shit I didn't even think about that. Air bud airlines? Wait but does a dog fly the plane? Of course that's the only reason I'm taking it. Only reason I'm taking it. You gotta stick with the gimmick. Yeah, plenty of treats on that flat. You don't gotta bring food, no. You don't gotta bring food, just kibbles and klits. But I think that most planes have an assortment of peanuts and salty stuff. I'm a sweet guy. I'm a Sour Patch Kids dipped in some Cool Whip.

You're doing Sour Patch Kids on a flight? I think that's what I just fucking said, yeah. You repeat it like it's an issue. Dr. Phil I apologize. No it's fine I just thought this was a safe space to talk about sour candy. But I do think that if you go on a plane and you go I want their chicken marsala. Take a step back and realize where you are sweetheart. Okay. Well we're different I'll order when it emails you hey what do you want? You'll pre-order. I pre-order the burger on adult the flight. Medium rare I go. How is, dear God, how is, okay.

How'd you end up on a Spirit flight? Let me ask you that. Again, just trying to be a man of the people. Okay. My assistant, Norm, is all about making sure I stay dialed in to what people are into. Mm-hmm. Spirit, though, it'll be the old version of last time. Do you know Spirit put a six-year-old child on the wrong plane two months ago? Really? I know this feels like a stand-up bit, but it's but it's a real thing that I read with my face. Spirit put a six-year-old child on the wrong plane

and I just said to my assistant Norm, I go, because he goes, you sure you want to fly Spirit? They put a six-year-old child, just to say it three times like Chris Rock, they put a six-year-old child on the wrong plane. I said, Norm, if you're traveling solo at six, your parents don't want you anymore. First of all, you're an orphan now. I was an inside plan. That doesn't matter where you go. They're not the best.

They don't care as much. You do want an airline to at least go, we fucked up, we lost your bag. Here's somebody else's bag. Sure, someone else's six-year-old. Here's somebody else's six-year-old. Funny, you guys should start a podcast. But yeah, I don't know. Sure, someone else is six year old. Someone else is six year old. Funny, you guys should start a podcast. Yeah I don't know, I'm more of a if I have to fly commercial, I'll be honest, Delta JetBlue is fun.

When you're going coast to coast they put you in that mint chocolate chip section. You're in the pod, yeah. You're in the pod and you are in a true simulation. Now will you ring the bell for a flight attendant if you need something? Do you ring the bell? Or do you feel that's- I just stand up and go get it. Okay. Yeah, again, I don't like to boggle them down, but the pods, JetBlue meant you're two seats away from flying the fucking plane. You do the suit on the plane,

or do you like to go comfortable in your catwalk? You go comfy, Cas, you got a Fubu jumpsuit. Sometimes I got a Grant Hill t-shirt, and Hakima Lajuan, he had a limited edition sweat pant line. Okay. Sometimes I got a Grant Hill t-shirt and Hakeem Olajuwon. He had a limited edition sweat pant line. Took me a minute to find that improv. Those are your players. You like the old school guys.

Oh, I'm a 90s basketball slut. I will just double deep dog. Just give me two. Give me a David Robinson and a Patrick Ewing side. Anthony Mason, John Starks. I mean, I'm giving you New York only, but fucking Sean Camp, Gary, give me a Robert Ori. Give me a fucking.

Call him alone, if you will. I'll let Latrell Sprewell strangle me while I fuck my wife. That's how much I love 90s basketball. Shout out to PJ Carlissimo. Drink five if you're playing the PJ Carlissimo drinking game every time he's mentioned on the podcast.

Yeah, I do wear the suit from time to time. If I got to go straight from here to there, and what I mean by that, Kev, is if I got to go straight from flat to meeting, you know, and I don't got time to change, then I'll rock the suit, but comfy cozy. And again, be one of the people. People don't dress up on planes like they used to. No, times are changing. Times are changing.

All right, you running for office? With your help, we can change that. Yeah, okay, easy. Doc, who do you stay with when you're in town? You stay with friends? I've got some friends here. I've got some fam. I usually stay at a hotel if I can.

But again, it's like I'm not a couch-crasher anymore. Don't cancel me. But I think that it's fun to hit up the homies from the past. I've got girls here that have been a part of my past and a part of my front too. I bet you do. But they've got families now, so it's a little weird. It's a little weird to hit up Charlene and go,

can I sleep in the bunk bed again? Is it cool if Uncle Phil stops by? I wanted to ask you, speaking of kids, you mentioned that, you know, we've we talk about a lot of stuff on the show. That's what I love about the show. You guys cover it all. And, you know, some things that we do, some things that I do that, you know, my...

He has a little bit of what I would call arrested development. I love that. Sure. I was wondering what your opinion, Doctor, is how long or He has a little bit of what I would call arrested development. I love that. Sure. I was wondering what your opinion, Doctor, is how long or how old is too old for a kid to sleep in bed with his parents? Because I used to want to sleep in between my parents in the bed for, you know, probably too old.

Because you were afraid of the dark or what? Yeah, I was just scared to be alone. Scared to be alone. Scared to be alive, probably. Being alive and being a human Foal is a is a tough thing to wrap your head around sure we all go through our day to day in these meat suits 24-7 asking ourselves a tough questions, you know How do I do it? Why should I do it? And was Michelle Tanner really played by two people on full house?

Is that a theory it It's a conspiracy theory. But it's now been confirmed by Coulier. I followed Dave Coulier on X. Shout out to Coulier. Shout out to Coulier. But yeah, I think that as you get older, Full, you want to try to make sure you get distance. Because that's how you grow, is when you separate from anything.

But look, I slept with my parents recently in the same bed, in the same sleeping bag, to be honest with you. That's a big sleeping bag. You all fit in there? Yeah, it's a big sleep. It's more of a tent bag, which is what my wife calls my cock. But we can edit that out or keep it in.

I don't fucking care. She's not watching. That's going to be the clip. That's going to be the clip. She calls my cock a tent bag. And we bought it at REI. I used the promo code, be right back. My kids, they slept in my water bed

for about a year and a half until I said, you're hogging the good part of the water. My son was on the real squishy part. And that's what, I get my best sleep when I feel like I'm in the Pacific Ocean. Gotcha. A water bed, man. I didn't I'm in the Pacific Ocean gotcha a waterbed man I didn't peg you for a waterbed. Well. Yeah, I'm me at all yet. You got to take me to dinner first You're jumping the gun a little bit. Yeah, I'm a big fan of a water parks sure

Oh wave pool guy like an away pool guy great question now that is a white trash garbage garbage move But yes, but also a fun move But I respect the people that don't like the wave pool because I've seen many of, I've gone down so many YouTube rabbit holes. I'll give you my top three YouTube rabbit holes, ready? Kids who are color blind that see for the first time. Sure. I mean, if you're looking for a quick cry

and Forrest Gump isn't on TBS, pull up kids that are color blind. You get some fucking eight year old spaz attack putting on some Kurt R-Rambas goggles and he's like, so that's what lemon lime is, father? And it's fucking funny, but it's sweet. And that's the best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup.

But then there's soldiers coming home early to surprise their kids. Sure, that's a big one. Because I'll be a little too baked sometimes and I'll see a dad come back and and he's dressed as a bobcat. And his son's playing the cello at his winter band concert. I think that's the cello. And he's doing that, and the dad comes up, and I'm real baked.

I'll pop about 80 milligrams of edibles. But I didn't peg you for an edible man. Well, it's how I wind down, and how I decompress, and how I disassociate. So I'll be tripping balls, and then I'll see this dad come in dressed as a bobcat and I swear to God I'll start screaming at my computer going, hey Jacob, turn around. Not only is your dad back from Iraq, but he's a fucking bobcat now. Because I'm just so baked I forget the dad is not a real creature.

But third one is wave pool deaths. Sure. They'll get you. People getting sucked under by the undercurrent or the under the back what is it? The mechanism? The mechanism. Sure. Yeah whatever they constructed a wave pool with is not safe. No it's not. It's a it's high tech it's highly dangerous but but you, fatties of the world can't stop themselves from feeling like, ooh, this is as close as I'll get to Jaws without actually jumping in the deep end. I just wanted to follow one thing about the sleeping with the parents.

Of course. After, when they wouldn't let me do it, I used to go into my brother's room and I would sleep in his bed. And I did that probably until about 12, and he used to bang his head at night. He would bang his head on the floor. Whole family's fucked up if you're not all families fucked up. Yeah, I know a lot of this is a bunch of tweaker But I used to like I used to like when he bang his head cuz it would like rock me to sleep

It was wide noise to you. Yes. So does he have a brain condition now kind of a white trash noise I hope it was worth it. Wait, so he would bang it. Why would he bang his head? It was just the thing he did. He would bang his head on the pillow and asleep fuck is you're all right now He's totally great. Yeah, Kevin's giving me the you might want to Check his LinkedIn page. Do you think there's any problems with that kind of stuff? Is that is that is that your head on the wall? Yeah, for sure. You fucking idiot. Why wouldn't there be yeah, no Bill Gates used to do that before he started Microsoft I think that there is something about the way we get to bed and create a habit Why wouldn't there be? Yeah, no, Bill Gates used to do that before he started Microsoft. I think that there is something about the way we get to bed and create a habit

of closing down the shop. Shutting it down. Look, I put on a little semi-sonic closing time. Okay. And I imagine I'm in a Sims game, cleaning up the dive bar. Wiping up. You know how there's always like some guy on the corner,

like, closing time. Sure. And he looks up and goes Fucking fucking Lee a fucking you know, then he says something at the end of the night So I imagine I'm that guy and my shifts over and it's time to time to go to bed But I think that jumping in the bed with your brother at 12. That's the original question for is is not uncommon But I don't think it's something that you want to brag about on podcasts. I wanted to get your opinion. Well, I appreciate it, but I didn't fucking ask for it.

So sometimes it's better to take shit to the grave. Yes. Whatever happened to take, let me finish, Kev, whatever happened to taking shit to the grave? Everyone's out on Facebook being like, do you like my recipe? Do you like these pants? No, I don't like either one of them

But now you force me to comment because you're putting it out for public displaying and commentary that being said I think there are things we think in our heads sometimes and before our mouth can go whoa whoa whoa we go here it comes Mm-hmm, and that's how you get into trouble But at the same token, I don't think there's enough people saying crazy shit on a day-to-day basis Gotcha, I think you got to think what you feel and feel what you say. I like that. I respect that. I appreciate the advice. In the world of sleeping as a child, what age is too old to wet the bed? At what age should that stop? Never. That should never stop or never be a problem. Okay. I pee the bed maybe 14 times a year. We've got a tracker. We've got the clapper. Yeah. So you want the lights to go off and on to've got a tracker, we've got, you know the clapper.

So you know, you want the lights to go off and on, you do that. Well, we've got a thing that we designed, my friend Raul. Everyone needs a Raul in their entourage. I don't know his last name, I think it's Savagia or Sava, something he's got a mustache. I think he's from El Salvador, but he's got a, he drives one of those, he drives a bus. Okay a bus okay a school bus oh and I told him I'd

buy him a car and he says he drives it as his day to day oh that's his that's how he gets from fucking curves she's working out a curve oh it's a she it's a heat oh yeah he's working could be a woman he's pretty god he's gay where's a bra he's a man but he wears a Okay, but he he always says to me Phil I Forget the sounds and ambiance in New York City for a second. I thought Superman was gonna burst through the window and come on my face. I haven't seen the movie I don't know what he does, but no I think not big on comic books. I

Sure Phil just checked his sick. I saw dr. Shavaji or Terry Shiava. What was it? What was there? Terry Shiava wasn't a doctor. No, but she, but she, no, she had a lot of doctors. Wasn't she in a Marvel movie? That was Professor X. Last movie I saw was Shanghai Nights. Terry Hatcher. Terry Hatcher. That's what I'm thinking of. By the way, how about this? Hey, how about this? Mary, Mary Fuck Hill. Terry Hatcher, Terry Bradshaw, Terry Shiava. Hold that thought. We'll be right back. How about this? Hey, how about this? Mary, uh, Mary Foocill. Terry Hatcher, Terry Bredsch, uh, Terry Shivo. Hold that thought. We'll be right back. Okay, let's talk about thesis.

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Sleeping in the bed with you, bro. It's it's fun. We do it. Sleeping in the bed with you bro it's fine. No we're talking about wet in the bed. Don't fucking yell at me Kev. Alright sorry piss in the bed. Piss in the bed not a problem. Poop in the bed big problem. That's a capital P problem. But I think that look we've all had those nights

you go to your friend's house, throw down a couple of Zimas. But then you realize oh I got a drive. Do you got any purple Powerades in the fridge? Let me sober up real quick. So you sober up. Is that your go-to, a purple Powerade? It can be, or a Freeze, a Gatorade Freeze.

Uh-huh, very nice. What's your favorite color of Gatorade? Uh, I thought you were going to say a person. Let's see. Gatorade, probably the Mountain Blue. Yeah, gentlemen. Yeah, I like a Navy blues my favorite color. I've never heard of called Navy blue. Navy blue power. That's a that's a color of clothes. Okay, well agree to disagree. I

do think there's something about the flavors of liquid IV khaki. Yeah. Now we're talking to start a business. He's an idea man. Great name for a business or an Alanis Morissette cover band What else you got? I got one. Okay. Have you ever dated a Lady who still had stuffed animals on her bed? Sure had a red flag Elizabeth Berkeley from say by the bill Yeah, she had the original. Oh, she's so excited She had every stuffed animal that they had in her bedroom on say by the Bell. She had the original. She's so excited. She had every stuffed animal that they had in her bedroom on Saved by the Bell. She kept them. She kept them. And we

met on Saved by the Bell the college years. What were you doing there? You're a little too old to be a freshman, Dr. Phil. I remember that cameo. You were great in that episode. You were a grad student, I believe? Mike, Mike Golick is a good friend of mine. Shout out to Big Mike. Shout out to Big Mike, who played the RA. Which was a wild casting choice. Wait, the football player? Yeah, he was the RA.

No, the Panera night manager. What the fuck are you talking about right now? Yeah, what other Mike Golick is there, Foll? Jesus Christ, from Golick to Panera, the Foley story. In his defense, he spends a lot of time at Panera. He does. I love he loves the bread bowls You know how they used to say what would you do for a Klondike bar? What won't I do for some broccoli cheddar soup? Elizabeth Berkeley had a bunch of stuff giraffes on her bed. Did you meet any of the cast members? All right, let's get ballin from that story Oh, yeah, I met Dustin D

Mario rest in peace Mario Lopez good guy sweet dimples kept one to challenge me to a push-up contest Okay, and I said I'm cool and he was like, oh you scared and I was like, yeah Let me go sleep with foley's parents real quick And maybe his brother maybe his brother if he's around let me just bang my head against his fucking wall and and then Mark Paul Gossler was there, but he's also shooting Franklin and Bash simultaneously. He was doubling up. He was double dipping.

How was that early pre-production for Franklin and Bash? It was, well, I didn't think you'd know the timeline, but there's something about, remember when Michael J. Fox also did Back to the Future and Family Ties? So Mark Paul, you know, is a thespian at heart, so he's like, I bet I can double dip and do double duty. Sure.

And while writing Jury Duty too with Pauly Shore. Oh wow. Mark Paul is a man about town, but he was in and out, Dennis Haskins I got to meet, sang karaoke with Dennis Haskins. What was the song? Cher's Believe. He took the low part, I took the

high part and we just kind of met in the middle and just kind of Oreo'd up. Are you a big karaoke guy? Huge, huge, yeah. I would say I'm a pretty, I'd say if there's some, if I got family in town or I'm just visiting, hey where's, where we going tonight? The private rooms are fun. But there's something to be said about a big Irish pub or bar I like an audience. I also like showman at the end of the day. I appreciate that kid. I like Which you can see all the dr. Phil live shows at Adam Ray comedy comm fill the October 25th DC October 26 Beacon Theater, New York November 15th

October 26th, Beacon Theater, New York, November 15th. Adam McEnchie's portable in the car, sorry about that. Celebrity Theater in Phoenix, December 6th, and San Diego Civic Theater, December 7th, at atamrackcounty.com for tickets. What I love about karaoke is it brings people together. I saw a guy who no doubt jumped off a roof after he sang more than words by extreme, because it was extremely sad but moving.

Sometimes people go there to unleash their They need a cathartic change in their life, and that's what I love about Music in general right you can go see maroon 5 and go oh So he sent a dick pic to a fucking to his cleaner I forget what he put Adam Levine did but if someone's singing maroon 5 I get fired up someone sings Jackson 5 I get real turned off because I go I'm a Michael solo guy Who is it? But guess what on the flip side? Give me a give me in sync altogether. Okay, that's how I see Shaz is

Underrated didn't get his due and get his due. I think he was right in line about the pop solo career Walt Disney Company chose JT because I think he was fingering Britney I had JC got a finger in there who knows where he'd be instead of doing Backstreet Boy Masha videos Which you know, there's you like those videos. I love them The my big problem is when o town tries to stick their foot in the mix What are they they had barely one hit with wet dreams? I mean bear. I mean wet dreams. Look we all have them We all talk about it I'm having one tonight. I mean bare. I mean wet dreams. Look, we all have them. We all talk about it. Uh, I'm having a one tonight. I'm sure. Uh, every now and then I have a dream where I DM Katy Perry in the middle of the night, uh, on Instagram. All right. And she doesn't

respond but it says scene and that's enough to wake up with a stain somewhere. Okay. You mentioned Disney. How do you feel about Disney adults that go to Disney without kids? Great question. Bad. I think it's a bit of a mental disorder. It's a bit of a mental disorder, but it's like again, if it ain't hurting nobody and you're enjoying yourself, sure, do it up player. But, but at the same time, what are you doing? Why do you got to go four times a week? I got a friend that goes multiple days a year, but he loves Phantasmic, the fireworks show. But he also used to work there, so I get it.

He was the original Buzz Lightyear. Okay. You know some pretty big people. You guys hear about when Tim Allen freaked out on the set of the Santa Claus TV show? No. I did not know. So I only bring this up because-

You're plugged into Hollywood. Well, I know I met Tim. I went and visited him when he was in jail before he met Richard Karn, and who plays Al Borland. It's Al Borland. Yeah. And-

Were you on set there too? I went to, I've been to most TV show sets. The only ones I haven't been to are Alph, Perfect Strangers, Step by Step, Mash, Cheers, Golden Girls, Designing, okay so most I haven't been to. But I have been to Family Matters, and Designing, no not Designing,

what's the all Sister Sister? Sister Sister, great show. But yeah I remember, Growing Pains, not design. What's the the all sister sister sister sister? What you and Tamara great show but but yeah, I remember Oh growing pains. No, thanks. We've all got them Yeah, Kurt Cameron's got a weird take on a gay marriage and I just can't subscribe I would that and Candice Cameron Bray not to get all topical on you But she also has got going harden the paint on people that want to just make different moves in their life It's like stick to your fucking world DJ tanner. You stubbed your toe in season four. You did some weird butt stuff in season nine We watched your fucking problems back off Is that my DJ tanner cam?

I've got that's live feed right there right there. Okay, well I stand by what I said. Did you ever get to meet Alan Thicke? I did Alan Thicke was a living legend and his son Robin is I'm proud of him. I saw him as a young boy we would sing a OMC's how bizarre at rap parties Okay, and to see him grow into the juggernaut and superstar he is makes me happy and warm inside but I think that as you get into the business with a famous dad, you gotta tread lightly.

Alan Thicke did everything in his power not to help Robin. He said, I don't care if I'm Alan, I don't do impressions, but he said something that I'll never forget. He said, Robin, it's your time, down there it's their time, up here it's our time. And I said, I think this motherfucker's quoting Goonies, but I didn't say anything because he was trying to make a point to his son.

Of course. But yeah, you can pee in the bed. Okay, I appreciate that. I'll take that note. How do you feel about Hooters, the restaurant Hooters? Great question. So the first Hooters I ever went to was in Tempe, Arizona. Okay. There's a girl there, you know who you are, you know what you did, named Diane Keaton. She worked at Hooters? No, no, no, let me finish. She had the same name as Academy Award winner, Diane Keaton.

So immediately when I called I said, hey do you have any availability for a table of 15? 15? Well I was, yeah, I do this thing every now and then on Valentine's Day. I go down to Skid Row and I grab a bunch of crack heads and meth babies and just people that are looking for an upgrade And I bring them into Hooters for some wings. No just the complimentary celery sticks

You can buy your own shoe when you get a job and clean your life up But you get free you get a free look at some of the fun that's bouncing around I'm not talking about the shoes or the feet. I'm talking about the boobs in the meat A little bit of eye candy. I'm not talking about the shoes or the feet. I'm talking about the boobs and the meat. But Diane Keaton was working there. Again, Knight Academy Award winner. Not to say that she has and her could,

but I think at that time I called and I said, well, what's your name, sweetheart? I like to get to know. Calling people by their first name goes a long way. At the airport, they're in a Topsy Turvy downward spiral with Glenn Powell and Twister, and you go, well well we're having a tough time getting on the plane and she goes well I'm having a tough time dealing with everyone's bullshit at Southwest Airlines at the kiosk. So I go what's your name? She goes Leslie and I

go Leslie I'm sorry this is some fucking bullshit you're going through. You want to stay at my house? Go in my hot tub for an hour? And she's like, no, that's pretty creepy. I go, well, you know, you could just say no thanks. Yeah, be polite about it. Be polite about it, but you ask them their name, they feel like now they're a character in your world. Does that make sense?

Shows that you care about them personally. So I did that with Diane on the phone and I go, what's your last name, Diane? She goes, Keaton. I go, get the fuck out of here. I love Danny Hall. She goes, I'm 17. I don't know what that is but Point being a Hooters you like it. It's a good getaway, but it's not now. Let's be honest

You're not going there for your birthday. You know where you going for your birthday Dave and Buster's Top to bottom uh-huh. It's a good time. Oh, they have a bar I love to get fucked up on my birthday. Play air hockey. Yeah, I like to black out on my birthday What's your go-to drink if you don't mind me asking? Outdoors. Oh tequila. But also Jack and Cokes. Okay But also Julio's and Sprite's. Seems like you like a lot. Don Julio and Diet Sprite. Also a Bacardi Fanta Also a Rum McFlurry. Throw that in the mix. Maybe a that's a business idea right there.

Also, maybe a cheese at Daiquiri. Sure. Taco Bell is not the only innovator. Yeah. Well, I've had that, though. That's a hard pass. Yeah. I would rather suck on my own fucking, you know, fill in the blank. You know, improv stuff. But, you know, I would have rather sucked out.

I don't know. I wanted to say foot or penis, but I can't reach either. So what else we got? Have you ever left a bad Yelp review? Have you ever left a bad Yelp review? We guys are regular Katie Kirk over here. Sure. I'm on the right podcast.

This isn't the final word with Katie Kirk or whatever the fuck it's called. Shout out to Katie Kirk, by the way. Just a living legend. Oh yeah. I met Katie Kirk when she was Kate Kerr. No way. She wasn't even. She had it on the Yick and the E.

It really took off after that. Kate Kerr, yeah. Little Katie. Yeah. She was getting mixed up for Steve Kerr a lot. The basketball coach and three-point specialist But but no, she's a sweetheart and a great interviewer She's she's you know, she doesn't ask the the Hooters Disneyland questions, but okay. I'm sorry one more time, Kip

I don't know. I feel personally attacked. Yeah, what's my stance on? Okay. Well, I think that no what was the question? Is it an inside job? Have you ever left a bad Yelp review and how do you feel? What kind of behavior is that displaying if someone has to go and complain online? I think if it sucked again take it to the grave. What are you doing? You really think okay? I got a great example for you so for my son's 15th birthday We went to Chuck E Cheese, and I went in for 15 birthday my son's 15th birthday. That's a little old I feel. Okay, do you have kids? Are you a dad? No, I'm not.

Okay, well maybe shut the fuck up. Fair enough. Sorry, sorry for yelling. I just get real fired up about my kids and their affiliation with Chuck E. Cheese. Fair enough. It was a... Look, now I could have used this advice

to play devil's advocate in hindsight because it was a horrible day Were there any other 15 year olds there? Maybe six his friends his friends and then mostly adults. It was a weird night at Chuck E Cheese He's doing Chuck E Cheese after dark dude the party was started 915 Chuck E Cheese closed at 6 so you can only imagine what sort of Walmart strippers were there. It was everybody from the fucking ice cream frozen food aisle

and the Target towel aisle. So, I mean, it's every sort of, it was Narnia.com. And we're looking around and I said, fuck it, we're here. My buddy Ramon worked there, hooked us up with a couple of pizzas. But what I'm getting to kev The band the band wasn't the band wasn't playing the band had the night off Okay, the animatronic Chuck E Cheese animal band the gorilla the monkey. I think there's a femur in there

Lemur what's a femur femur is a leg. That's okay. Well not with that attitude, but It's a it's definitely it's definitely something that I get fired up for. The Chuck E. Cheese Band. I love Disneyland, I love the Splash Mountain, Zippity Doo Da, Zippity Day. There it is. But when I see that there's a sign up that says, they're not playing tonight, it was my first fight in broad daylight in front of my kid.

But you know, push came to shove, shove came to push and I fucking, you know, I put an animatronic gorilla in a choke hold in a Chuck E. Cheese bathroom. I pulled him off of his fucking drum set into the bathroom. Ramon came over, said, you can't do that. We said it in Spanish.

I think that's what he said. But I said, well, you know, you told me I was here for my son's birthday. He said, but you know the Chuck E Cheese rules. Eat pizza, have fun, keep your pants on. So, you know, one thing led to another and we went across the street. There was a dive bar there.

And kids waited in the car. We got fucked up tomato tomato Ray Romano Okay having a good time guys actor Phil appreciate it appreciate you anytime anytime anywhere We put up a just put a whole lotter up in the that's my bad signal It's a lighter cuz I'll run it like I'll come lighter. I'll come running, I'll come, yeah. Because the lighter to me symbolizes a good time. You ever been to a concert, let's say you go to see Coldplay. Sure. Or maybe you're watching, shit I don't know,

maybe you're watching The Great Muppet Caper. Okay. Right? And maybe you want to spark up a fat blunt for that scene when they catch catch Charles Groton in the act Yeah, I've seen the movie some of your questioning my strange Well, what's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie to watch stone? You guys smoke pot? I don't I get high on life

Dr. Phil I'm taking Eddie every once in a while. Dr. Phil. Okay, what happens? Peace little piece? I can't take too much I got bad anxiety. Okay. Well, it's great for that I went into a weed doctor and he's like, what do you need weed for? I go I get stressed out that I can't find my weed So he gave me a medical card That's an old Seinfeld joke, but There's Jerry shout-out to Jerry baby Jerry baby and ice cream. I tried to pitch Jerry baby Jerry, baby Yeah, they passed on that one passed on a lot. I had a lot of ice cream I tried to pitch. Jerry baby? Jerry baby, yeah.

They passed on that one? They passed on a lot. I had a lot of ice cream flavors in the early 80s I pitched to Ben and Jerry's. I pitched Oprah's Pussy, Hitler's Freeway, 007, 008, Danny DeVito.

Just his name. I mean, I thought that alone, Taxi wasn't enough. And by the way, Taxi was another one we pitched and the with Queen with Queen Latifah. That's a good one We had another one queef Latina, which was for the Latin community But I don't know we're always coming up with business plans over to Phil enterprises. You have to yeah stay sharp Yeah, so no weed for you. Kev. What's your vice? I'm an alcohol man. I get after the booze a little too much.

Everything in moderation. But I think you work hard, you got to reward yourself. You got to play hard. But your body is good about letting you know sometimes when it's too much. You start shaking or you fall down some stairs. Black out. You black out. You black in. You do the hokey pokey. You turn yourself around. That's what it's all about. Well, it is. It's all about looking out for yourself and those around you

that spend time with you. Because what you don't want to do is send a picture of your asshole to your mom's best friend, Kathy Hiller. That seems a little specific, but. Yeah, it's a real name. Probably didn't need to say it. Well, you can bleep it for you if you like.

You know what? Keep it in. Keep it in there. She'll love the shout out. Here's to you, Kathy. Now, a big thing on this show, you know, is are you a Domino's or Pizza Hut? What do you prefer? Domino's all day, but Pizza Hut did have the... They had a heyday.

They had a heyday. When I was a father, I was about to say when I was a child, but this was early 90s, my kids would involve themselves in the Scholastic book. Big programs. 90s my kids would involve themselves in the scholastic book program and and books and pizza got together and said kids are Are eating but they're not reading so let's get them to to eat more and then kids chomped up eat more books And we're like no you fucking tubby bastard You can't eat the book the chosen you. You know, you don't digest the words and then do a book report on that. So it's the only book I read in school.

Sure. But I think that Domino's has better cheese. At one point Domino's had, Pizza Hut had the basketballs too. Hey Punk won a game, remember that? Oh yes. They had some little, I think it was Dwayne Wade in the commercial, he held a ball out and he said, Hey Punk won a game. remember that? Oh yes. They had some little, I think it was Dwayne Wade in the commercial, he held a ball out

and he said, you wanna, hey punk won a game? So that was exciting, but Domino's, look, they had, Domino's is pushing things forward. They said, at one point they go, if you don't get the pizza in 15 minutes, it's on us. It's on us. And I was like, so I was constantly bolting the door up. Sure, laying down split strips.

I'd bounce, I'd just leave the house for a bit. Never answer the door. Put my phone on silent. And then, you know, strips. I'd bounce, I'd just leave the house for a bit, put my phone on silent. And then, you know, they'd have to wait, because otherwise you leave the pizza. Or I'd call back, because now they've got that tracker. So I know that Eli showed up and then peaced out. So I'd get him fired or show up myself there and just do a little... I'm a big... I don't like to fight, but I'll do this a lot. Flex this a lot flex on them just a fucking cuz you're a big guy looks like you can handle yourself Yeah, yeah people think I'm about six five, but I'm just six one and a half

But but you know I've seen um what's that movie that wrestling movie? with Paul Giamatti win-win Paul Giamatti and not Adrian Brody. Bobby Cannavale, great movie. Saw it on a Spirit flat and not on the TV, I just remembered it. Sure, recited it. Recited it to myself. Because they don't have electricity on Spirit Airlines.

But, quick shout out to Spirit Airlines for fucking it up and sucking it down. So, what was the question? Who am I voting for? No, it was fucking it up and sucking it down. So what was the question? I forget. No, it was a what was Tucker? Domingos or Pizza Hut? Tom Hanks or yeah, or Gary, Gary Sinise. I'm a Sinise man all day. Well, it's not even close.

Put a pin in that circle back to that because I got some real thoughts on that. Domingos cheese is better. They also had a commercial one point where they said they'd I got some real thoughts on that. Domino's cheese is better. They also had a commercial at one point where they said they'd paved the roads. I remember that. I do remember that. They said, we here at Domino's understand

that getting your pizza takes a minute to get there. So if your communities and roads are falling apart, we here at Domino's would love to clean up the streets and your cul-de-sac and make the pizza get to you on time so you can have a sweet birthday party. And I always thought to myself- That was fucking have a sweet birthday party and I always thought to myself Awesome, by the way, I always thought to myself You can't do that. First of all, we've got zoning laws in this neighborhood

And also those are union jobs. You got to get a permit to bring a fucking bulldozer in Hank You can't just show up Gary Sinise style Slapping your cock on the roulette table and dropping an uno draw four You got to say it's time to get pizza, but also it's time to clean up the streets. And if the Ninja Turtles aren't gonna do it, who will? Who can? But Domino's sure as hell ain't gonna step up and clean up my community. Bring me a fucking cheesy bread from Little Caesar's first, pizza pizza, and then look yourself in the mirror and

say, is it safe to make a thousand pizzas in five minutes Because that's what they do for Have you seen that one commercial where the guys boxing all the pizza and put it on tik-tok He was like to brag about the speed and was a real fan in which they box. I'm like if he's boxing Faster than King Ryan can do stand-up with Chris D'Alia. Then I don't know what's happening. You see that video? All right, let's move on. It's a deep cut. Ah, okay.

Take a breath here. Stuffed giraffe on her bed, Elizabeth Berkley. Stuffed giraffe. Still can't believe I saw it with my own two eyes and my face. Are you subscribed to any magazine? Sure. Any periodicals? What are you reading?

Highlights, Sports Illustrated, Us Weekly, People. I love the, I love celeb gossip. Can't get enough. I love, I remember when Extra had a whole thing where they'd go, Extra, Extra, and Carissa Thompson and M Lopez would throw up fake scenarios. You could tell they were starved for content. They'd be like, was Lindsay Lohan seen at a Taco Bell KFC combo snorting Advil PM in her back of her fucking Toyota Corolla? Our extra rumor control got to the bottom of it and no, she wasn't. So you understand what I'm saying? They make it up just to deny the rumor. Sure. Have you ever gotten caught up in that? Have you been on any of the rags?

Scandalous? I've been the subject of many bad nights and plenty of shitty mornings. But you can ask my wife, hey, will you go down on me at 6 AM? OK. The Olympics are on. But sure, I guess I'll try to get a bronze medal in Cunnilingus before the French guy knocks his cock on the pole vault

Which was wild but I mean what a good way to I mean if that video doesn't play on loop on his tinder profile or grinder Don't know what he's into don't care frankly, but you know judge. I don't judge. I don't give a fuck when people There's too much to worry about in your own day to day. Even when Bud Light put a trans person on a can, people don't want to drink. I had a buddy in Florida. He's like, I can't drink. It's too hot. I mean, weird. I'm like, well, I know what you meant by the first thing you said. You know, message received. You're

showing your true colors, Phil Collins. But, but, but there's something about, there's something about going outside and, and putting yourself at risk. But no, I'm a big fan of celeb gossip, but I'm not a big fan of being in the middle. Neither is Malcolm, but he did it for eight seasons. Unfortunately, Dr. Phil, we got to get you out of here. Okay, let's wrap it up. That's what she said on prom night. And I said, said well too late already

finished but on the side of the bed so hey no harm no foul Dr. Phil Shaddaf to Diane Keaton at Hooters. Ladies and gentlemen the incomparable Dr. Phil. Is that good? Do we do it? That was it. We love you thank you so much for coming in and sitting with us hit them with the tour dates again you guys appreciate the love I want to get a couple bumps in here I do want to plug with the tour dates again you guys Appreciate the love I want to get a couple bumps in here I do want to plug one more time dr Phil live all the dates at Adam Ray County calm 25th of October at the Miller Theatre in Philly 26 in DC A Capitol one hall November 15th at the beacon right here in New York City

December 6th Celebrity Theatre in Phoenix, Arizona December 7th San Diego. And I like to follow and promote comedians I love. You two are two of the funniest guys I've ever met. So I know you'll plug your own shit here in a sec, but Adam Ray's a fan. I've met his mom at a, what was it? One of those- Swinger's party. No, it was a bar mitzvah.

Okay. Same shit. And everyone's inside of each other at some point. Shabbat shalom. And she told me her son was doing comedy. Checked him out. It's not that bad. Not great.

But he's got a special on YouTube called Like and Subscribe. You can watch and then subscribe to his YouTube channel. All my Dr. Phil specials. I'm trying to help him out. They're on his channel. And he's got tour dates all over the world. Pittsburgh, London, Columbus, Funny Bone, Hilarities in Cleveland, Buckhead Theater in Atlanta September 12th,

September, October, November, December, all that at adamraycommy.com and I think that's about it. Ah, love it baby, love it. Guys, we're all over the road as well. We have the Route 66 tour, which is Chicago, St. Louis, Oklahoma City, Tulsa, Flagstaff, Albuquerque, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, and then also Philly. Those tickets are going quick. All available at REGARBORGES.COM. Thank you. We love yous. Dr. Phil, we love you buddy.

Pleasure guys. Thanks for coming in. Pleasure. I don't know what I'm doing. I never know how to end these things. Goodnight everybody. We'll see you next week.