Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Dream Job w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: September 1, 2022

Are You Garbage is back with a Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ Helix Sleep: https://www.helixsleep.com/Garbage ADAM & EVE https://www.adamandeve.com/ PROMO CODE: Garbage Box of Awesome: https://www.BoxOfAwesome.com Promo Code: GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans

Hachi Machi middle-class famous tour update kippy. Uh-oh. We got a couple alerts going out straighten them out a little bit Kansas City Springfield St. Louis Nashville in the Philadelphia that show sold out already three months ahead of time We added a second show tickets are on sale right now Then we're going up to Providence Rhode Island. That's gonna sell out in Boston. There's low ticket alert So get those tickets now. We love to see you. Do it. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or Absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is are you garbage? Uh-huh?

Little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that the group to be classy After there's the big old piece of trash I'm your hostage foley coming at you on a beautiful day down here at Anthony's basement stumbled a little Pumpfake. She's very upset at who at us. Oh shit. Yeah Trash out. What do we do not the trash called us? Power bill so that a C bill Freakin out up there. She also told me to tell you trog door is all right My co-host is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of are you garbage?

She is an international business man He is not to be tripled with in the boardroom the bedroom or the bathroom gay puts huh give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan. I like that. That was good. Hey gang. Thanks for tuning in as always Please make sure you rate review subscribe On iTunes full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are Kicking oh boy closing in on a hundred thousand over there which ain't too shabby They send you a nice little plaque to who on used to uh-huh really like one of those things Schultz. He has yep Sweet be cool. You tube guys all the other guy hanging out. Yeah, we're doing it

And obviously head over that sweet sweet patreon.com. Oh, yeah, are you garbage you get bonus content? You get episodes of a YG every week you get episodes of hard feelings every week for the $10 Homies and up We're gonna be doing a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff stuff from the road a lot of shenanigans in a hotel rooms in the green rooms the whole thing We're gonna be doing a lot of travel stuff. So check it the fuck out gang Yeah, please do and have a nice quick shout-out to our producer extraordinary the magic man Makes us all look good crosses the T's dots the eyes give it up for T bone McMuffin Toby McMullin everybody. Hey, what's up, dude? I got to tell you fully. I've really you didn't do it this week

But I really come around on mr. Neptune 2005 Thank you, I know what I'm doing over here kind of And a lot of people were hitting me up about Trogdor and Trogdor was actually I tried to look it up and understand I don't apparently was cool. Yeah, it was an interview. He's still adored Huge door and that man bun ain't helping either. Yeah, let the audience know you have a man bun. Yikes It's raining there Drop the kids off at soccer. It's going on. Um, yeah, I did it was a cartoon can't get you an extra fat latte I'm sorry

Anyway back to Trogdor What was it exactly? It was a cartoon. There's an internet cartoon Yeah, it was real weird. It was a snake that was shaped like an S that had a muscular arm. That is correct He was a man. He was a dragon man. It's a good bit sure Maybe over there on reddit or something meanwhile in the real world. I was watching Shark Tank Learn how to put a business together It's nice we're having fun down here in a basement. I wanted to get where we are the basement

We are down here to these basements. Everybody knows what it to ask you this body. I'm here for it Get your opinion on uh-huh Ubers okay What do you think? I'm typically a Uber pool man, but do you worry about what you say when you're in the back of an Uber? The other all that's funny bring that up because the other night. I we got I wish we were trashing somebody you and I Yeah, I was on the phone Uh-huh, and I was with you with you. Oh, okay, Russian people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I was like, oh man

I hope this guy's not a comedy fan Because if he is I mean some deep troubales But uh typically no I have that I kind of have that thing where it's like I have I think about this a lot where I'm like Oh, he does he's not thinking but then imagine if somebody was in the backseat of your car How much you would hear though? You know what I mean? I hear people's full conversations to sit next to me at restaurants. It drives me insane When they talk really loud and they're like looking to you know, have you fucking hear it? Yeah Fucking lady

You got to be worried about what that guy's thinking saying sometimes but it was not so more so like that I'm not giving out fucking, you know classified secrets But like just goofing around in the backseat with like my girl or tease in and this and that She gets a little like, you know, like stop stop stop, you know stuff like that Yeah, I mean it's what I mean. Yeah, but here's what I really wanted to ask you Obviously when you're alone, um How do you feel about ripping one back there? Farton Farton that won't do it. Really? No, I mean come on This guy's gonna be in the car all fucking day and you're you know, what if it has the plastic thing?

That's a little bit. You're like you might as well be in an aquarium if you ask me that's a little different That's like your own little sweet couple stingrays going by Um That's a little I should have be farting in someone else's car. Yeah, that's like That's a little more intimate than a taxi. Taxis are like utility. It's like, you know, there's a lot in a taxi I'm not going in a taxi and a fart in a taxi might improve it. I don't know if you've been in New York City taxi recently What about you there drug door? Can't do it. Can't do it. I I got some real heaters coming. I can't I can't I can't do it

I don't I don't want that guy to be like roll down the window And it's like that's fucking embarrassing. Then I just in my head the next fucking 15 minutes Yeah, me neither If I do have to do it, I might try to do the the fake cough to cover it up Shit yourself You have to pull over Uh Speaking of that. Oh, I had remember this was a big big big thing back in the day

Uh, I don't know if you did it. Well, I assume in Philly especially back in the day. You'd get an attack This is pre-uber you get in a taxi Drunk or whatever and you'd ask is it cool if I smoke in here? Oh, yeah And they would let you just fuck and they sometimes they'd have them with you. I was like a party Yeah, you're like, yeah, I'll have one too. You're like, all right, turn that music Let's get cooking roll the windows down Friday night in New York City after a couple of toot tree A couple of nosebears and the back one going up the east side highway cranking one

Oh man, you don't like the joker when he's hanging out the window. Oh, dude put on a little spring steam Yeah, that's all right Smoking with the with the taxi driver is a lost art form that doesn't happen anymore And I thought about that the other day because I got in an ubi and the guy was just in there ripping one like moments before Like it was like I got into an ashtray It was a fucking and I was just like this guy was just sitting in here And you yeah, you're worried about farting who gives a shit that's different. How is that different? One guy smoked. It's not like you get in every uber and they're smoking

I wouldn't mind farting in that guy's uber. I guess because I'm like, all right, if you're smoking But it's like I'm not just getting excuse me if you're smoking some poor bats. Okay. If I shit my pants back here That's like walking into some guy's cubicle and just fucking letting one rip He's got a sit in there for the rest of the day and you've tainted it with god knows what Please tell me the genesis of this questioning is that you ripped a fart so heinous that you are now banned from I'm a lift man now I did go to lift the I did use lift this week No, I was I was having a quandary if you might uh, if that's the right word

I was battling with myself I had some intestinal discomfort as one might say and I was like, can I just make this hand? What am I? What am I worried about here? The windows are down. We're driving run a highway if it's you know, it's also like he's got a mask on That's He's driving like a lunatic you're far would dissolve the mask the strings would just disappear That would fall off his face and he would turn to a skeleton the car just disappears We're just riding on the axles Uh, yeah, I mean if it's an emergency if you're like, yeah, it's painful whatever and you got 15 20 minutes

So you get out but if like you're gonna down a couple of minutes it can wait Then do it also standing I feel is the best way to fart sitting farts aren't always They gotta they gotta make the turn what t-bone agrees. That's the craziest thing I've ever heard No, by by no means is that the craziest thing you've ever heard or thought today my friend. All right That's not style Yeah, you always have to when you're sitting down you have to that's what you do you lift your leg like a gentleman Yeah, but I'm saying when you're standing the the far it's there. It's cool You're there's there's no like it's not making the the left hand the left hand turn

Now I would say like a right fielder stance is probably the best way to go Yeah, not sitting either way they do good out there in the outfield when they're bending down probably let them go um Make it happen I got something so, you know, I had a little bit of a flood over there at the apart not a flood a little bit of water Damage in the ceiling. Yeah from uh from a rainstorm. Sure. So they're coming in They gotta do a whole bing bang boom type thing and they're gonna get back to us. It's coming up soon But we have two closets. Mm-hmm one is pretty good

Uh, organized the organizational wise, you know what I mean? I wouldn't be embarrassed if you opened it come and take a look around It's all, you know, everything's in a in order for the most part the other one It's a scene in there man. Well, you got to take all that stuff out of there anyway If they're coming to do work on it. No, they do it. This is the this is the thing He goes we'll come in and we'll clear everything out now. My question is No, no, what you know, I would have there's no way I would let somebody clean out my closet I want to know what's in there. I mean, I know what's in there. There's nothing of value in there I just doesn't matter you clean that out yourself. You don't know somebody coming to clean that. When the fuck does that ever happen?

That's that somebody that's going to fix something in your house Like, you know, when you when you when you paint you got to move everything into the middle of the room or they do that Painters will do that people that's what painters will come in. I mean, they'll charge you extra for it Yeah, I would move a lot of stuff out. Is that what you're asking? Should I move this stuff out? Yeah, thanks for having fun with it I'm just saying I don't like that Some guy rummaging around and all my stuff. What do you got in there? That's what I'm saying. I don't know It's not great. There's nothing embarrassing in there, but it's just a lot of shit

You know stuff from the dog luggage like you can't touch the back of the what's a big closet and you can't touch the back of the wall Because it's so deep. It's yeah, and there's just shit in there Stuff that I'm like, you know, probably could all get thrown out and there's but the thing is there's nothing damaged I think they're used to doing it because there's stuff damaged where they're like wool removed The what like the stuff that's been damaged. I assume that's typical protocol Oh, so this is like your super some bozo. This is this is like a restoration. Oh Yeah, I'm not like super go through my fucking. All right. All right. This is a service. Was any of your stuff damaged? I mean, of course it was no, it wasn't no. No, what about all the money you had in there?

Hold my bitcoin that I keep on the top shelf. Yeah. No, there was no there was no actual water damage just on the ceiling I guess it seeped through all right nothing got into the the closets nice Now I understand otherwise. I wouldn't I wouldn't let somebody just take stuff out of my sure But also I'm at this thing now of like fully jealous of guys. I've been wearing that shirt in a year Hey, if I lose 87 pounds that might fit again I have to have Toby stretch it out before I put it on it's mark. Jacob's right dear fellas. Don't touch my dreams My thing is like my poems I am embarrassed to the point where I have to do at least

But it's also that's what I'm saying. I don't know when they're coming There's no keyboards or anything like that in there. Is there keyboards like casios like for my back back for my band days Uh No, but it's just like there's It's you know, it's not great So I gotta go I gotta do a once over and I guess I assume I'll let them do the fucking Heavy lifting. Yeah do the once over, you know, how bad is it in there? It's not good. Really? Yeah, so some of the stuff could have been damaged

But there's nothing of value in there. Don't I have some stuff in that closet? No, I think I do Are you hiding snacks in there when I'm not around? No, I think I have an original copy the declaration of independence in it Is that where my bill of rights went? You and Nicholas cage breaking into my apartment listen fellas, I'm gonna need to get your supervisor on the phone here Okay, that's an original war hole right there. Listen, you're not gonna believe me, but I stole the declaration of independence This will sound crazy, but Yeah, all right. Good stuff gang. This is a family episode As you know when you sign up for the old patreon here, you get a question question read on air live here

With kevin's mr. Neptune 2005 Mr. Neptune it was an award or is that real by the way could be I think you're assuming it's like a body building award or something. That's what I'm taking from it Uh, I thought what was your what was your your thing? Well, it wasn't wrapped in logic Sense of the sense of any stretch of the imagination Um, I assume that every summer in every beach town They award a lady

The mermaid award Okay, the mermaid parade and then and then whoever the the hottest guy hottest guy is mr. Neptune. Yeah, he is. Yeah That's what I was doing. You got anything on that? What's up? I mean, I don't think it's not a real thing. That's not a real thing I don't I mean, I don't they don't do that in wildwood They don't have like a pageant on the boardwalk or something. Have you been to wildwood? What are you talking about? You won the mermaid Yeah, jesus christ

What do I think about that that it's an honor and a privilege to be in the room with mr. Neptune 2005 There you go. Six and seven run her up. Don't you forget it Disqualified Nate. I was juicing Uh, yeah gang, uh As the big man says the family episode so when you join a patreon, we will read your question on the air sure Uh, this one's from scottie b. Shout out to scottie bizzel. Is it garbage for a guy to wear a tank top on a plane? That's a no-go for me. I feel you're you can't have exposed pits There has to be a body of water around for you to have exposed pits. I feel sure and plus when you're sitting on a plane

If you're what are you gonna reach and then your fucking armpits are on to some other guy And if your arm is touching just just sitting if your arm and his arm are touching and you're touching bare skin That's that's what i'm yeah, that's no no no no. Yeah, that's cherish I don't I think tank tops any it's that's gotta be like a vacation You're not a tank top guy. You don't have a tank top body. Oh, I don't I don't have a sweater body. What are you talking about? Fucking burlap saps or burlap sacks over here are good for me. Some guys can pull off a tank top They generally tend to be in shape. Yeah, and they don't look scuzzy I look horrible in a tank top. Yeah, I tried those. Uh, I tried to set a joggers on the other day

Joggers. Yeah. Oh like my pants. Yeah, like they they're big now with these companies. It's like the casual Yeah slack slash sweatpants, which I don't want to take credit for the trend but I'm just saying they're when I put them on they're way more sweatpants Lululemon could send me a couple of dollars. Yeah, sure. Um It's a tough look me and me and those things. Really? They look it's I feel like I'm going out to gym class and elementary school Are they are they you got to get them a little smaller?

How you rocking them? They got it. They got a barely fit. Trust me. I know I just looks like I'm wearing sweatpants Really? Yeah, I got them to fly in because as you know, I only fly in jeans Hold on. Do they have cargo pockets? Cargo pockets on the side. I'm not a fat teenager. I have cargo pockets. You got to go cargo joggers That's how you do it. No, that's not old navy good fellas. No, we're a good fellow. I don't shop at old navy I'm sorry target. I also don't shop there unless I'm going to pinch for dog food It's not my it's not my stop for fashion. All right Good brand

Yeah, no, they just I they just don't I look bad in them. Yeah, it's not great But that's again like tank. There's certain things that I just don't look good in sure that and like I I got a I got a bunch of weddings coming up. So it's like I'm like figuring out I never look good in a suit in my life fat guys. Don't look good in suits. I was just talking to my wife about this You look good the second You you're together, right the shirts on the pants on the jackets on the belt the socks the shoes the tie That's like taking

A you know a popsicle out of the freezer You the the fuse is lit taking time. You're gonna look like a melted candle in about 10 minutes It doesn't work like when you cut open an avocado The clocks are running. It's just fucking I have like six weddings coming up in the next like fucking three months. You could not go You could go No suit And do something a little joggers

Nice set of joggies on you No, it's still the summer a little bit. Yeah, you gotta go jack. You gotta go jack You could go suit pants and you could go long. You could go short sleeve button down Yeah, but again, I don't look the guy on the magazine can do that or the Sean Jackson jersey Always brings him in shout out to my Mike Mamulo authentic jersey. I got Somebody gave it to me game worn sign still got if anybody wants it'll go to the eyes bitter I figured it was he a tight end. No, he was a fuzzy or like an offensive pack Who has alignments jersey if you're not related to him

Oh, man, that's it. Like what I like to kick her Oh, yeah, you could do that Another thing that doesn't look good. I think I'm doing no tie. Sure. I'm doing no tie. I'm doing shirt Yeah, fuck the tie. What are you working? Nasa? Get out of here. I just look like a bad accountant Like I'm fudging the numbers and it ain't a good tie. I would assume no, I got good ties. Yeah, you got good ties I do. What do you got? I got a bunch of good ties. Give me a give me a designer. Tommy Hilfiger Uh, I don't think so. I don't know. I have a bunch Okay, yeah, what kind of ties are you rocking? I got a couple of nice ones. Why should I believe you if you don't believe me?

They do this logic, um Yeah, make up whatever you want and I'll agree with you. No, I have a couple of nice ties that my girl got from her boss Okay, that's She made you put two and two together on that They're real nice. No, my girl got it from her boyfriend. Uh, they're like Gucci and somebody else You don't have Gucci ties. I'm telling you they're pre-owned. They are pre-owned. I will get the fuck out of here I could steal stuff too, you know I can go to the laundromat and pick up the wrong order. All right. Get out of here

Hey, if you have sex with it when he gets up to go to the bathroom to take the condom Hit the closet. Oh God another thing turtle necks Off the shelf. No. Yeah, I can't do it. Never look good in the turtle neck What is the fact I had a turtle neck it's fun. Yeah, some fat guys can pull it off You know, there's a fact our buddy Reggie conquest bigger guy wears good stuff looks good and stuff Yeah, of course that me or you don't look good. No good fashion. Yeah. Yeah, but it's even that the fashion It's like, yeah, but he's got whatever the frame is he's got it for certain thing

I just don't have a frame for certain articles of clothing. Mm-hmm bathing suits now speedos now Anything but jeans and sweatshirts for the most part now I look okay in a pair of lacrosse shorts and somebody was why I'm sorry Look right in a button and I'll do this. This is this is the best I look No, you can look better when you try. I am trying To be comfortable Can't but suck about Adam and Eve, baby I likey alone the windows are fogging up in here

Draw the shades go Adam and Eve shows up. Yeah, tell the mailman to keep his mouth shut Yeah, gang do yourself a favorite over there to Adam and Eve and I'm gonna tell you right now You want to talk about turkey? You ready? What's that 50% off? Using that promo code garbage over there. Uh-huh. That's what I'm talking about. Listen We like to spice it up a little bit You like a couple of two tree toys, maybe a little bit of this a little bit of that Maybe a little something here. I'm talking RC cars either, baby. No, I'm talking heavy bike vibrators. We're talking We're talking naughty stuff that'll make your mama blush. That's what I'm talking about. You know, everybody's doing it

But then straight to confession I'll package you to the screen and tooty won't be finding out about this one. I tell you that she's been rooting through the package She likes to yeah Not only you save money on gas movies and date night out Adam and Eve will continue to save money and deliver tons of fun Go to adam and eve dot com select any one item and use code garbage This is an exclusive offer So be sure to support the show and use the code garbage. Let them know the boys sent you and you get 50% off and free shipping Go to adam and eve dot com right now. Do it. Yeah, Kim. Let's talk about helix

Speaking of good night sleeps Do yourself a favor get over there to helix take the quiz. I'm sorry. I was drifting off in a dreamland on my helix twilight mattress I Get that you get out of a uh a mattress store and talk to russ or something. Oh, I know my uncle My uncle graduated with a guy who works. I Did a fucking website took the two-minute sleep quiz they matched me up with the twilight mattress. I love it so much I sprung for the gang size. Whoa That's what we're doing around here. That's what I'm talking about treat yourself, baby

You spend what like a fucking a half of your life in bed for you probably 85% You gotta make sure she's comfortable take most of my meals in there Uh guys if you sleep hot cold big small whatever if you like it firm you like it softly a little smack on the ass Whatever it is. They will take care of you. Yes. They will um Even got heavy sleep for the big man That's what they do But it's it's a guys. It's really easy if you're if you're if you're sleeping on a mattress

So you got from you know your dead uncles and sisters boyfriend or whatever. What are you doing? You got to go pick it up though, right? No, they ship it right to your fucking house What are we doing uh helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners There you go to helix sleep comm slash garbage one more time, baby helix sleep comm slash garbage with helix better sleep starts right now Do it the camping videos up on uh that their patreon 20 minutes shot at the t-bone for fucking cooking the attic and new guy luke with uh some of the shots as well Um somebody said because we were swimming we had the gopro in the in the lake

Jumping around someone said i'm built like a cello No, no, no, no, I think I thought they said cello the the the I thought I meant the I thought they meant the chocolate candy Isn't that rollo? No, no, no that cello is a How do you spell cello? Is it c-e-l-l-o? Yeah. Oh, okay. Maybe it is. I thought they meant the Chocolate covered cherry candy called cellos that dads always get they're always right in the front Those are celloes celloes. Okay. Maybe a candy on their brain. I don't know

It's not a good look a piece of classical musical instrument. Ah now he means candy It is it is very soft in appearance. What your body frame? Sure. It almost looks like you have no bones Okay And what would you look like then? I'm not listen. I know what i'm just saying. I'm not saying it's great It's far from good. This is why this is why we are where we are All right, so just because i'm disgusting. I can't comment on somebody else possibly being disgusting You're built like a king's hawaiian. What do you want from me? I don't know. You're soft. You're doughy

What do you think you are? You look like a fat sack of fat over there Now you're just trying to hurt me Yes, i'm i'm aware. Yeah I think I got a little bit, you know, a little shoulder definition This is why you're 400 pounds you go. I think I got some shoulder definition. Yeah, I'll fucking you you're built like a Something I can't think of it because i'm so i'm so flustered at the moment. Hey You got homemade buns on the brain

okay Pull the e-brake on you real quick that um But yeah, um, I think I think for the I think i'm gonna try uh Uh, what was the question? That was the tank top question But we got off on on guys wearing clothes My brother always had the thing he could like go by. I mean come on. He's a fucking good looking kid He could just go buy a suit like literally all through. I go. Yeah, I'll wear this tomorrow. I'm like, what the fuck? Sucks mine's gotta get sent away

It's gotta come back. I used to have to get my catholic school uniform altered. Oh, that was embarrassing pockets for snacks Hey, hey, can you sew a clark part right in? Right No, always had to get those things fucking jacked up It was like taking a cop car to get a fucking put armor on it They put like skin they'd put uh knee things on the inside Some tough skins and they'd have to fold up the thing and fucking brutal

Mr. T in a welding mask Work on your pants Maybe if I tack weld the suspenders on his fat piece of shit won't split them locked in a woodshed So they'd play it real slow Didn't always come busted out Ah now just me walking out Ah, yeah, it's a tough look. I ripped a pair of joggers this weekend my blue ones my baby blues Plus you got you got fucking wine on the other one that I still need a couple more washes to get out

I don't think that was like six months ago. That's not coming out now I think it will a couple more washes. It'll come out. Sometimes it just takes time. It's like a breakup No, I don't know that that's true, but I'm down to just my jeans That's all I got is those black jeans Yeah, why don't you buy new clothes? I don't understand this you make a good living. Why do you only have two pieces of Transitional period right now You can you have money to buy it 30 dollar pants to wear. You gotta go and shop and try it on What are you talking about?

I don't know. I'll see if I can sew my joggers back together I pity the fool to waste these joggers Um, all right, this one's from brights a long time listener. Have you ever as a child? But it's someone else's house and heard their parents having sex Oh, I thought you meant fighting. I've heard my fucking friends parents fighting. Yikes But it's not yours. It's weird Yeah, I kind of I feel comfortable with it. You do fuck these people. I don't care if they get divorced, you know I mean welcome to the party daddy

Hey, welcome to two Christmases and breakfast for dinner. Let's do it. Not the perfect family now. Huh, Mikey, huh? Yeah, no, I don't I never minded that. I don't think I've ever heard anybody bone in either No, I wouldn't mind it No, yeah, there's a couple. Yeah, there's a couple uh, sure couple of couples. I wouldn't mind, uh, you know Hey, I'm with you on that hitting the powder room, you know Yeah, two tree two tree moms out there not too sheeby. Yeah Yeah They never did. Mm-hmm always kind of suspected at a certain time like I've been like

I never heard my parents bone in either Um, all right, this one's from official garbage inspector My aunt bought a picture frame collage and hung it up without taking the stock photos of random families out That's what I'm talking about. That's all right. I used to love going into fucking marshals Or wherever she was getting her frames from And walking around and looking at all the people in the pictures how great their lives were before I realized that they were Actors. Yeah that they were I read them as actors right away. Yeah, whatever. I mean come on I I read them as actors right away. I knew that and I'm like these fucking weirdos are just like

I'm like there's no way this is a family. So that's a kid. That's a lady. That's a guy. They all got day jobs I'm like, this is fucking weird that they're standing out in the field acting like a family. I never got that ever I'm too cynical or whatever. I was always jealous of their lives. I mean, it looks like a really nice wedding No, I I pictured their real life. I'm like that guy's in a studio apartment fucking eating, you know, macaroni and cheese for dinner hamburger helper with no hamburger That's what that guy's doing That's not paying the bills. I don't think so. All right, maybe back You're not getting residuals from that

No, that's probably like 1500 Flat rate or something back then it's a photo shoot. No, not 1500 1000 now Bless. Yeah, whatever. That's even worse. Yeah. Okay. So 500 bucks for the kids probably getting nothing Yeah Probably goes into a trust that the family steals it. That's what I would do of course But now you got your headshot and every marshals coast to coast. It's true Did you have any child actors in yours in your school in my school? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you were friends with there was a girl

Uh, not that I was friends with a girl younger than me was in the departed Really? Yeah, who was she in the departed? Uh, the guy the guy He asked if she has her period yet. That's the girl he ended up marrying. You know that right? That's her all grown up I think that's what we heard. Yeah 100% No, shit. Uh-huh. She was vin's kid whatever she was That worked the diner or what? Yeah, get your period yet. Uh-huh. Yeah a couple of comic books a couple loads of bread

Pretty nice. Yeah, I only gave him a couple coupled some change Yeah, back on today. It's a lot of money. I guess you're right talking to seven days here low for bread true The inflation nowadays is like 15 grand. Um, I don't think oh, we did have another kid too. That seemed a little small time for him back then he's shaking down a fucking little corner store I don't know Why are we dissecting fucking a movie from 15 years? Scorsese's vision. Yeah, um A filler scene at that

Um, we did have another kid that did a couple of movies I think he was in the sixth sense A lot of kids in Philly in that sixth sense. Yeah Something another one that was shot in dc, but that was it. Do you have any do you have any famous not famous but like Anybody of any sort of notoriety? No, but at the theater There was a couple of young kids that took classes there that were like, you know, I was in college They were probably like in seventh and eighth grade real pricks because they scored a couple of fucking parts So

Fuck them. Yeah, that's that's the h folly. I know 20 years old high on coke mad at a seventh grader sounds about right everything's checking out down here pushing backstage Tell your mom to pick me up earlier, too You're like Kramer on the way to fucking karate class Um Yeah, that's all I remember. I don't think anybody else There was always like, oh my cousin or somebody there was always like an uncle or somebody that did something

But never anything of notoriety Nobody in like top gun my dad used to rent a building off around Jaworski, but that was about it. Whoa, really? Yeah, that's pretty sweet. Shout out the jaw. Shout out the jaw. Yeah, I met him a couple times at a couple autograph picks He really dabbled in a real estate out there in Philly probably cleaned up Yeah, Ron Jaworski was a quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles in the 80s 70s. Yeah, probably late 70s early called him jaws jaws Yeah, got after it. Shout out to him Um, I mean, yeah, that was about it him and mike piazza really cleaned up out there

Piazza used to do the car dealership. He owns them piazza. Yeah piazza honda. Oh, yeah Yeah, hondas. That's what he's pushing. I remember not be I remember as a kid It's not a bunch of a dirt bag as a kid. I'd be like you can't buy that guy plays for the mitts The fuck we don't buy the car off. What are we doing to make these fucking idiots richer? Get let me get fucking mike schmitt to open up an acura lot and I'll get a car The fuck am I putting money in a met guys pocket put this queen's pussy out of business Kick rocks take that shit back to shea stadium or whatever. Nah, he was not down here. He was a norse town kid I don't give a fuck. He's a met

Get the fuck out of here putting that shit on route one get out and you got some fucking balls on you piazza Take that shit up the flush. Yeah, at least jersey's neutral territory. I'll give you jersey I Don't fuck out of you. I remember being that I was like seven Like what the fuck the balls on this guy is set up shopping my backyard I even call me tell me he's operating, you know what I mean Ask for you. Let me know he's operating in my fucking in my neighborhood slash on the tires on the lot Care we went to high school you taking money from new york bastard. I know get the fuck. I didn't know that makes sense. He's local now

He's not that bad of a guy I was literally the only reason I didn't like I never I wasn't even a baseball fan at Wait, you didn't know that he grew up in norstown. I don't fuck what I know that he was a met I'm not learning the stats on this fucking this j.o Good stuff Uh speaking of cars this is from user account new homie here is it carbs to drive a wrapped car to make extra cash on the side? What is that pay? Because I've thought about that dude. I remember what if before even got my license on I'm doing that

You were I wanted to do it. Yeah make make some fucking scratch What are you making because there's a dude rolling around my neighborhood now with some energy drink Uh, it's not monster It's something looks pretty whack to be honest with you Um, but he's a grown man and he's just driving around his car and I thought he might have been like a um What do they call it a rep or something? Yeah, but now there's gonna be an investor or something Maybe uh, it says with a legitimate car wrap

You can expect to earn roughly 100 to 450 bucks a month depending on how much you drive and how big of an ad is on your vehicle What the fuck 450 a month. Oh 450. Yeah, that's the car payment right, so I'm saying I get the jeep wrapped up That's not a bad idea. Yes. Yes, it is first of all, it's a lease you can think you wrap a lease Why you can't just take it off before you turn it in I don't know I'm sure there's something. Hmm. Would you be willing? I'll drive the a yg car around town Yeah, I'm not paying you 450 bucks a month to do that 400 375 210 Pay my easy pass but it comes out of a yg as an operating expense. Okay

I don't even know what that is exactly um Yeah, no, uh I always wanted to do that that makes sense. I mean, what the fuck if you I'm borderline like don't give a shit. I'd be like, yeah, I'll fuck like I don't care about my car I don't care about cars or anything like that. So I'd be like, yeah, I'll fucking do it. What would you have got? What would you have? Yeah, dude, fucking, you know, a lease hoagie Check any lease hoagie anything dude. I like a lease anybody that was rapping. I would have, you know, shout out the lease tuna hoagie

Um fantastic Remember the napa auto park delivery guys. I always wanted to be one of them too I remember applying for that job in college. I wanted it so bad You would like drive you would like deliver car parts in a car like it was no truck or anything You were just in a not that weird that weird little van. Yeah, I fucked that little van dude Just driving that thing. I think something dr. Seuss with the tunes blasting cranking heaters all day get out a bunch of mufflers back there Yeah, come on Couple of fucking couple of turn signals in the back. Yeah, that'd be all right

I would love a job What's your dream job outside of this an actor? That's never gonna happen That was hurtful And unnecessary, um baseball player Outside, I mean like you had to go and you have to know this is this ceases to exist You have to go enter the workforce right now. Yeah, like you could be you don't have to learn the skills like just imagine your skills I would jump straight out that window

Perfectly in the basement I go upstairs and I jump straight up that window if you had to enter the workforce in something the workforce Yeah, I don't understand what you're not getting about there. What is it was a fucking wartime? I gotta go fucking make bullets. What are you talking about? Uh, I would like to own my own hot dog place. Hey, yeah, okay Why did you give me so much fucking pushback when you had the answer because you made fun of my act I was acting upset which it truly was. I'm a method actor I think you're a bald piece of shit who shaped like a candle

Whatever. Yeah hot dog folies and for the record, I you know, I think you're a great actor. Hey, thanks fingers across Tip bespoke post yeah box of awesome Summertime it ain't over yet. You still got a little life out there in the summer Enjoyed a wonderful water and a woods and you don't want to go out there You pull out your pocket knife and the blade falls off and you don't know that a bear's ripping your throat out You want a heavy bike? Material yes, you do do yourself get a box of awesome. They're absolutely fantastic Get outdoor stuff. You get grooming stuff. You get grilling stuff. You get bar stuff

I didn't even tell you four days ago. They sent me another box. Yeah. Yeah, and it's got one of those uh This for cocktails the smokers Really what they got the little mesquite the little thing you guys you got cinnamon cooking put the glass Put the jar on top of it smoke it out If you get one of those I'm hot boxed in my whiskies over here. Then it's all white claw not good That was just more my friend. You get one of those swirly spoons. Let me know. I like those the twizzler tips I call them. They got everything. They got cool guys. Shit. You don't know you need my

My my wife had a couple lives in the building came over and I broke that out. I said, hey look at Did you really smoke it? I was slipping out of his chair. He was like That guy was all hot dude fire alarm was going off. But what the hell I'm telling you man It's a you it's he was like, where did you get that guy? It's a big deal box of awesome. Check it out Guys the box of awesome you're supporting small business 90% everything comes in a box of awesome is from a small startup An up and coming brand you get 20% here's the turk 20% off your first monthly box when you sign up at box of awesome dot com Enter the code garbage at checkout. That's box of awesome dot com code garbage for 20% off

Your first box box of awesome dot com code garbage now back to the show back to the show Yeah, oh but small hot dog joint be fun small hot dog joint. You got to get a hot area I want brick and mortar. Okay Only do them a couple different ways. I'm not doing this hollywood bullshit. No offense. No, chicago Maybe a chicago dog to be honest with you. All right, shout out to the bear. It's nothing wrong with it. That's what that's a pickle green relish catch up mustard put it all on throw right in a trash onions Nothing on it. Uh, no catch up. No, kid like rule number one. All right. All right. Please don't ruin this

Sports peppers sports peppers. Yep. That's it. Now. I'm done. You lost me now. I'm not doing it sports pepper celery salt celery salt All right poppy seed bug Okay. Now I'm not getting the poppy seed buns Chili dogs is where it's at. That's what the kids want these days Doing playing maybe a little crowd make my own chili sauce. My old man's got a really good chili Chili dog recipe that doesn't involve celery salt to be honest with you. Look at this full circle

You lost me with sports peppers. What's a sports pepper? So guys put pepper to play sake you ate a chicago dog and you enjoyed it I'm not saying I don't love it, but I didn't know I was eating something called sports peppers. That sounds made up There's hot peppers or sweet peppers. There's banana peppers. There's roasted peppers I never heard of sports peppers. You just you didn't even name peppers. You named genres of peppers It's true. There's no pepper called the sport pepper. Yeah, there is is there. Yes. Where's it made? What? Yeah, it's made at the vienna factory and it's goddamn delicious

sport peppers Are you looking at me? I have somebody give me something to google it. He's the fucking he's the google guy. He's talking to me I can't google and defend the delicious. I never heard of sports peppers before Well, just because you haven't heard of it doesn't mean they don't exist. You also the dumbest guy I know I mean that's got to count for something here in flavor and appearance sport peppers which are from the Capsium enum species are similar to the Tabasco plant just a little smaller in green or yellow instead of bright red It's a it's close to the pepper a Chini a milder pepper that tends to get pickled and used in the same way Shout out to the pepper. There's a pepper Chini fucking potato chip floating around out there

Yeah, Pocci. Pepper Chini's are all right. Pepper Chini. I apologize about the sport pepper I'll consider the chicago dog No, no, no redo the menu for You get so mad when you don't know what something is. I know a hundred thousand dollar initial investment for 10 of the company No Oh for that reason i'm out. I think I would be some sort of uh smaller uh

Bald man boat captain of some sort Yeah That would be great Where are you gonna go? Whatever the job requires. What kind of boat? Whatever. Oh a pirate Tugboat a tugboat. Why not? You're not tugboat material. What are you? What are you talking about? You don't even know what hot fucking sport peppers are And you want to open a hot dog stand. What are you talking about? The tugboat is

The repo man of the sea. Yeah, I go fucking. I'll go. I'll go, you know, whoever's behind on her bills go flex on it a little bit Go fuck with carnival, huh? I'm taking a boat right now. Uh, uh Yeah, no, I just remember I was just like we were like super stressed fishermen I wouldn't mind that I grew up on I grew up on boats. I love fucking but I would you know, I love boats They're great out on the water You leave everything lake or ocean either. I mean preferably ocean, but you leave everything on the fucking lake You're just like that's out there. That's fucking You fucking wackos deal with that. I'm out here cruising

A lot of burnies. I'd go back if I you're if you're on a boat Burnies and cores lights, but I just don't see how you would make driving a boat at the end of the day You know what I mean? I can't get too fucked up What would you actually do whatever see you can't that's not specific? I need a specific job Hot dog. I gave you tugboat captain tugboat captain. Yeah, all right. You want to be a tugboat captain? I can get behind that You have to join the coast guard to do that No, oh really the coast the coast guard's an arm is one of the Armed services. Well, who writes the tugboats

You think tugboats come from the coast guard? I thought I thought I thought tugboat was a government job Don't you the people running the harbor out there. They're not all I figured that'd be a city job. You're like a tow truck driver. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm sure as there's third party tugboats Yeah Tugboats are expensive. Yeah, I'm not buying it. I don't know. Maybe I do. Maybe it's at least own owner operator type thing. Okay Yeah, I wouldn't mind driving. I like driving, but like I don't want one of those big rigs Give me something small. Fuck that. Give me like a sprinter van or something making deliveries. What am I making deliveries? Oh, I don't like traffic

No traffic deliveries. I'm in Nothing too big as long as I can drive my tugboat on the highway Tugboat, how about a duck boat captain? That'd be good for you. No, that combines traffic and you know No, and plus I'm dealing with the people. I remember I was super stressed out driving home late at night. We were leaving here And there was this guy in the east river on a fucking some sort of ship Nothing, not huge to the point where you're like, how do I navigate this? But like a you know, a Nice sized vessel. I'll call it sailboat. He had about 13 souls on board really It was I was just like that's his only thing

That's his only worry at that moment is just driving that is getting that boat to where it's got to go There's no other I gotta see what happens or whatever. This guy's just his sole focus at that moment Is driving that boat, you know, that's what I would love that. You know where I'd get nervous where the bridges When the bridges go up, they're gonna hit them I wouldn't like that Yeah, they go up so you don't hit them. I know they're scary Okay, plus I feel like that's why you're that's why you're a land mammal. You're in there eating hot dogs

I'm making the hot dogs. You don't think you're eating hot dogs. I'll have one Maybe at lunch and I'll sell chocolate milk too I'll get the best chocolate milk. Maybe make my own Because a hot dog and chocolate milk is a fantastic combination. I think I see a good bright future I would also love to own a cafe like a get it like in a small town The coffee shop in a small town on like main street. I just don't want to get up early You got to be there at fucking 5 a.m to open up these motherfuckers get their coffee. I'd open up around noon After I had a bacon egg and cheese couple of heaters

You're closed. You're in there eating breakfast Come back Smell the bacon and the coffee coming out. Yeah Third bag Maybe in another life or maybe when we retire. Maybe we can do that We each go our own way. We open up a hot dog hot dog cafe on a tugboat What open up a hot dog cafe on a tugboat. I wouldn't mind that would you come? Would you if I captain a boat would you come out?

Uh, I would have there would be have to be some kind of catastrophic Fall or something. What I have to lose my legs or something. What do you mean? Like lieutenant dan Otherwise if I if I got if I bought a boat Uh-huh and learned how to I mean, I know how to drive a boat but got my license Yeah, would you come out on the boat with me? What am I doing? They were going out for a nice relaxing day Oh, yeah, of course. I'd come out once. You just need if I come work for you No, I you think I want you on my boat. That's what I thought you meant get out of here You're not you only you're not worth your weight. What are you talking about greenhorn on the uss baldy. Yeah, right nuts

You'd be eating all the bait. I'd buy a submarine. It's thank you Get caught in a crab pot Uh, all right here. Let's see Uh, this is from eric, uh There's a strict 12 o'clock cutoff time at the grocery store for beer sales Of course, I'm there at 11 58 and some lady is fumbling coupons to pay for 20 dollars in groceries In order to get beer I had to pay for her groceries. Is that garbage or a pro move pro move I'm really good at finagle in that. Yeah, uh, why come on. I'll go put it all together. I got it

I put it all together. I got it. But if there's nobody in because they do the same thing in new york on saturdays You can't buy beer after two o'clock. Mm-hmm because it's encroaches on the sunday two two a.m Two a.m. Yeah. Yeah. So I go in there grab it my friend. You can't have that. You can't have a star Oh, okay. No problem. Wait till everybody else leaves the store if there's somebody checking out Yeah, listen, can I grab this fucking? There you go. Yeah here's 20 for yourself ring it up Ring it up in the morning or whatever. Yeah, or whatever. You know, whatever you gotta do Yeah, the fuck out of my face with that. That's a fucking pro move right there. Mm-hmm If you can pull it off and it accomplishes your mission and some fucking ding dong is fucking everything up just I got it

Let's go. Yeah. Yeah. That's what almost got me fired from your grocery store This guy was bitching about fucking like 38 cents on a cam tune or something When I was over I just We were talking about in the weeds It was like fucking the day before Thanksgiving or Christmas or something lines are like all the way to the back of the store And you're just like in it like every register is open. You're running out of money. You had the whole fucking nine yards And I'll never forget I was in the express lane 12 items or less. Okay, I'm out there cook. I was the fastest gunslinger in this

That's the major lease right there express lane at Christmas Cook in I could really fucking future tugboat captain And this guy was complaining about the thing and it was like there's one manager for 15 fucking registers She's running around like a chicken with her head cut off. There's only one key to come in and over Why is that? Can I ask you that since you're a guy in the inside? Why is there one fucking key at the grocery store? Because you can't not everybody can have fucking keys I mean you're holding everybody up

I know but the thing is so it's like you're allowed to like back back when I was banging you're a lot of right off You're allowed to take anything off the ticket off the like off the order Yeah, there was under 199 or something the 199 or under so you didn't have to get the Otherwise, you could just be like, oh, yeah, you know A 58 dollar fucking ham or something or diapers or formula. You just take it off I would just wouldn't scan it to begin with if I was committing a crime, but I was not Just saying I just wouldn't scan it and then be like take it off whatever um

But if you give every cashier a key then the key loses its thing then anybody can just do whatever the fuck they want You need someone gotta be a little more Johnny on the spot. I don't disagree with you But we're so we're that's what I'm saying this fucking manager is running around Lisa She's running around tight little body on that one really older broad too old look at she could be in like a fucking uh You know like a like a

Fucking rat music video or something. You know what I mean? Okay round and round She had like the feathered like very bonjoviesc Probably got your little roll up going fake set of cans on her too running her Running Oh man the manager of a grocery store would have fake set. That's all right Pretty cool. It was all right. Was she dating somebody that worked there? Uh, probably like the head deli guy. No, no, no killing it. No, she was dating or married to somebody That was in the same. Yeah, it was uh somebody it was a freak

I don't know. He might have been like a one of the meat purveyors original manager or something like that Yeah, somebody with a future uh And she would like, you know, I don't want it whatever. Um So she's running around she doesn't know what's going on. We are proper in the fucking weeds And I was like, hey man He's like, yeah, can you come back with me to like check out the price? He's like it's label that it's labeled at 58 cents, but it's ringing up at 108. Is this an old old man?

No, this is like, you know 40s like you know and 40s maybe 50 and I'm like I take the can of beans get out of here and like sometimes you would give you a smack You would send a bagger like, hey, can you go check this go check to make sure and he'd come back? Yeah, it is or whatever, but I mean the bagger they Too, they didn't make it through lunch. Those guys fucking either quit or died drop it. They're on the beach Take Omaha. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They're fine. I look over the kid's head's gone

Schwenderman, what are you doing? Um You got to bring up some mandalores. So I'm like, open dog one up whatever they're called This is this is pre-self checkout too. We're fucking proper hemmed up So I'm like, there's no one to go back and now I'm like, I'm like, dude It's it's it's fucking 38 cents or 40 to whatever. Well, I'm like it was change It was it was under 50 cents because I remember I took out

50 cents 50 I took out two quarters in my pocket I was like, I got it man because there used to be like a quarter. Uh, we used to be able to get Uh store brand sodas for a quarter In the break room not bragging shot through the root beer. I fucking had me would blow your fucking hair That and too soft pretzels from the deli good night I was fucking carb alone I'll be napping on the broccoli if you need me Oh, man, I forgot about that goddamn come back and see me man. I get I think I'd get two root beers

Screaming the cola sucked. But the fucking root beer was a heater shitty root beer is always better I don't know why yeah For some reason the trashier the name the lower the the lower the rent the better it is I'm trying to think I guess sweeter. What was the what was the name? What was the acme brand? I want to say it was acme to be honest with you Signature's best or no America's best was super fresh. It might have been signature selector. I know that's uh, I like a signature select Uh, whatever it was whatever, but so I'm like I had two quarters. Oh, was it right cola RITE

No, I think that would have been shop right probably. Okay, whatever that was all right No pun intended diet one of those Dying dude. I didn't do diet. I didn't do diet coke until 2022 my aunt had had the diabetes So she has she had some uh sugar-free candy and some diet root beers floating around her house not too shabby in a pinch my my my pop would do uh Caffeine free coke sure gold coat. Yeah, all right When they would come up they get to a tree at m after they I wasn't gonna touch them while he was there

But once he went back down the shore If he was fucking a couple screaming cold one of them. Yeah, they were all right, man They were okay. He would come up for Christmas in january the first week of january. He was going They would do a chocolate soda once. I don't mix business and pleasure. You know what I mean? That's not my cup of tea. I'm fucking either. You know, these people work them. Yeah, right or left. I'm not fucking I like a chocolate soda. They were usually I had a chocolate covered potato chip not a fan. Really? Uh-huh again What are we doing? You know Reese's cups is putting uh potato chips in in the big I'll try I'll try. I've been looking at that thing. Mm-hmm. Yeah, stay away. You're already, you know, stay away

Put some money. But I got one of those on layaway at a 7 11 near me You can have you can out. Yeah, once you lose the weight you kept. Thank you. Um But so I offered the guy 50 cents Pulling out of your bag Uh, I offered the guy 50 say he got all fucking bent out of shape. Yeah, what the fuck it's not about the money I go well in this moment. It is about the money Man, I said if it's not about the money come back tomorrow and fight it like this is not the time in place Write an email dork a bagger just shot himself

He's uh, yeah, and I was just like, hey man, we can't fight, you know, and like I got written up I'm like, hey, man, you want it's a fish. So he was this much of a prick Daddy fucking bitched about 38 cents, which maybe shit was tight, which I understand I get it, but I go but then a friend and you're a fucking kid 16 this wasn't a couple weeks ago or anything was a moonlight Trying to save up money for a boat. What do you want? Working two jobs to get my tugboat. So then I couldn't imagine doing that with a kid Going and fucking well, this is the problem. These people get real fucking lippy to cashiers

sure And I'm also in it. I mean, it's a dickhead move. That's a dickhead move My job is to fucking go find out what the right price is if he's saying it's not ringing up Wait, hold on. Hold on. Who's it? Get the fuck out of here. You were being a dickhead. I'm not you're hammed up You're doing for the greater good. This guy's not the fucking only guy in acme He's not the only guy that's got his feet his family and fucking christmas. I understand But I mean, it's also would have taken like a head. I would have taken an extra 90 seconds or something

Oh, well, I was just being an asshole but like that's you know If dude imagine if you went to some place and you were like, uh, the coffee rung up his two bucks I thought it was a dollar and he's like it took a dollar out of his pocket. I got it. You'd be like you'd want to fucking torch the place you would Anybody gives you the slightest attitude. You're all bent out of shape Yeah, but I wouldn't say anything if it was if it was 50 if they rang up. It was a hundred dollars

I'd be like, whoa, 100. I'm just saying live in a hypothetical here You that would bother you if somebody did that regardless of his reason for doing it Maybe he didn't have the 50 cents. Maybe whatever. He was like, hey, man. This is the wrong price That little kid would muster it on his face and fucking root beer breath. Yeah, probably that's what I'm saying But I also wouldn't fucking criticize it if it was if it was That big of a line if it was a regular saturday and you were running your mouth. Yeah, what it does sure Desperate times call for desperate measures over here and I'm all about that. I understand. No, but I'm saying like he is

If it is marked at a price and then I It is coming up another right. That is his right to be like, hey man, that's the wrong price I don't think you're defending this guy He had you written up. Yeah, you ratted on you a grown man went and told on a kid That's still kept my job written up. I was 17. There's no consequence to that. All right I was living in my mom's house. He'll write me up. Go fucking write me up every day I don't give a fuck trying to lose this job. Anyway, I'm trying to go down the shore The fuck we talking about

Yeah, where's Tina? Lindsay ever get her name? Um, you ever been written up fully? Have I like threw a book at him? You kidding me? Yeah, I got read been written up Couple of times I didn't realize it was a thing at first time I got rid of that. I was like, yeah, what are you gonna put it on my permit? Are you sending me attention? What do I care? My boy was like, that's how they make sure that you don't get unemployment. I was like, oh fuck get rid of that Oh, I didn't even know that. Yeah, I was in a union though. So she got written up. My fucking rep was there fucking

Get buff aluminum in the case Fuck out of here. I'm I was a teamster I think it was I think I think I think the I think the retail workers and grocery store workers They were not him shows up shuts it down. Yeah. Yeah, fuck that now. I got written up, um Uh at bear burger By my gm who I was tight with but I think just did it to like flex a little bit I didn't really do anything. I respect that move. Yeah

Keep your fat ass in line. Yeah, keep me in line because it was if you got three write-ups Then you were fired. Then you couldn't collect unemployment. Yeah Yeah, you're also, I mean, you know, good luck with that by the way Go in there and fucking razzle dazzle. He's coming in the neck brace the next day. Yeah When I walk in fucking to the hearing with nine blind kids See if you're not gonna cut that check. Hey, why are the kids blind? More of a sad story. Okay I do believe these kids can't see

Um, this wish is for me to get this money. This one's They're blind. They're not dying. I didn't say it was all fleshed out We're riffing here. Uh, this one's from cut Toby's hair. Uh Did your dad ever have a wanted osama bin Laden photo printed on a computer paper taped to the window of his pt cruiser That's fucking old school. Shit. Yeah. No, no pt cruiser. Thank god But I remember that that phase did hit the wanted that that head shot of his sure you weren't finding that in the fucking Yeah, that wasn't floating around in a frame. No that I thought that it was all came across as like, you know Almost like good luck terry. You know what I mean? Like something in the office. It was like never the ink was never right

Sure, it was like the fucking jiffy lube printers. Yeah. Yeah, there was no laser jet doing those. No, but yeah, that was very like Yeah, to like rip off the edges to it. Yeah No, but the pt cruiser phase hit my my my parents friend group A little hard that was like two or three couples that got them because things were pretty good back then I believe That was when things were kind of doing well Where are they? I don't know. Everybody says that about all the times. I think everything's just the same But I feel like when like our parents started buying those things they were doing like renovations and they were putting the kids Were just off at school. So Ponzi scheme. It was all fake money

It's all everything was great until the economy crashed your fucking idiot I don't know what I'm talking about. When did that crash? It's my tim dillon right there crashed in 08, right? Yeah, that one at all went downhill. Yeah, right. It was about to enter the job market I ran out of college like 15 million dollars in bed. They were like Entry levels 19,000 dollars a year. Like, ah, great paying fucking student loans for the next 78 years Motherfuckers, that's how to get you how to get you Uh, this one's from thomas ever taking a sig break during a cigar No

Which that's what I want to do when I'm smelling like I smoke cigars with verzi and like midway through because I'll be drinking too Like midway through I would be like, oh, just I'll be right back when I go smoke a sig I want to because it's that like you're like kind of teasing yourself I'm having to hail a little bit. No, it's not the same. Hmm. Ain't the same Okay I don't fuck with the cigars. Okay. I'm not man enough for them. Not man enough. No, I can't do them Can't do them. I like a nice little guy every now and then but I probably won't go I probably won't have one because I'm off the burning. So it's like I don't want to yeah, I think the second you start

As kind of doing that. It's like I'll do Which the rippers have been on my mind recently heaters Welcome to the club All right, this one's from bobby bad news first question for this $10 homie Is it garbage to have a mashed potatoes bar at your wedding had all the fixings available cheese bacon chives sour cream? et cetera et cetera This has become a trend like the seven different macaroni and cheeses and stuff hold on in principle It's trash

But why I I don't tell you why I don't disagree. I mean I could tell you why I think it's trash There's no fixings for mashed potatoes Mashed potatoes baked potato is where you would do all that stuff Who's putting all that shit on their mashed potatoes? I think that's crazy I think that stuff would come on mashed potatoes like a tji fridays or something you can get like the cheese and the chives No, maybe he didn't mean maybe he meant he meant baked potato. All right. I'm okay with that Cheese chili in my head when I read it. I read it as baked potatoes not mashed potatoes, but you read it as baked potato No, no, no. I in my head. He wrote mashed potatoes

I'm saying but my when you were like it's trashy. I didn't think of mashed potatoes I wouldn't even call it that trashy with a baked potato, but I don't think it is I mean, I mean, I also don't hate the idea That's kind of a very cold stowed creamery for mashed potatoes. Sure. You can mix them all up I don't know if I've ever had mashed potatoes in that whole bunch of shit in them. Really? Why would you they're already perfect? They really are No, well, thanks. You don't put the corn and stuff. I might get it all going. What? Yeah I mean, I don't like make a soup

But I use it as an adhesive to pick other stuff up Fat little bastard. It's Thanksgiving You got a trowel out slapping bad potatoes making brick and taping Yeah, no, I like uh, I'll I'll use it to acquire other things and put it on the porch. What the fuck is that? What do you mean? I'm not going to stand here and take this slander like you don't put multiple things on a spoon I do but I don't mix I don't put things in my mashed potatoes. I'm not I don't mix it But if I'm at Thanksgiving, I'm trying to get Some of everything on the floor. Oh, of course you are. That's the move talking about. Oh, all right

I apologize to the gentleman from bucks county. Well, what information were you running with other than you said you don't mix the corn He he had the same reaction. I'm saying I said I use as the heat of I'll that's about to quit Not working for you psycho. That's nuts No, but I I do remember like kids like Their parents making like cheesy mashed potatoes or like what the fuck is his brother doing? Get out of here with that. Do they have mashed potatoes at your school lunch with a little Dunk of the gravy in the middle. I never fucked with that I'm a big mashed potato guy

mashed potato Dude mashed potatoes at lunch is a wild choice. No in the in the winter when it's cold You're crazy. Maybe some fresh oven roasted turkey Yeah, that's a wild meal to have at fucking 10 34 as an eighth as an eighth grader That's crazy lunch at 10. Lunches are early in fucking school. Do you start at 7 15 lunches start at like 10 45 Yeah, maybe for your classes This doesn't make sense. We rolled in at one or two little There's no way you're having two p.m. Lunch in in any sort of school that that's impossible. You're lying. No, we'd have no

You're lying school ended at three ended at two fifth high school ended at two 15 Yeah, we took a late lunch. We'd have an espresso. We'd relax a little bit It's like you went to high school in Madrid you fucking liar All of the prawns and uh, you expect me to believe that you walked into school at 7 a.m And didn't eat until one or two man. You'll just lie about anything. I would I would have killed everybody in there Holy shit. I was starving when I got there god damn I remember sneaking up to the fucking upstairs cafeteria that had a vending machine

That must have been stocked in Valhalla It was legendary and they had the tasty cake Uh eclair pies, you know the tasty cake pies sure tasty cake is a local Philadelphia. Uh, uh Bakery bakery company fantastic and the eclairs and they would be perfect Fresh, you know Knock one of those down ha chi machi No, I couldn't make it, but we weren't eating at 10 30. Yeah, I mean, I was exaggerating. I was exaggerating

No, you the lunch has started before noon and in every sort of school you went to You clearly already stated that you were lying about the one and two Just give me that lunch has started at like 10 45 left. I never had mashed potatoes. I'm gonna say Uh, but we gotta wrap it up gang. I think mashed potatoes at a school lunch is perfectly acceptable That's what I'm not saying. They're not but Live in the real world. How many times have you gone out to lunch and ordered mashed potatoes? That's a wild choice of food to eat looking back. I've done it more than you would think That I'm also not shocked at that

But the most regular humans aren't walking around getting mashed potatoes in gravy with fucking open-faced turkey sandwiches for lunch Ooh, I didn't say open-faced turkey sandwiches, but I like where your head's at. Yeah gang. We fucking love you to death kippy What do you got for him anything check out the live shows gang tickets on the road those tickets are moving. Yeah We love you. We'll see you next week. Peace