Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Drew Morgan: Southern Trash

Episode Date: July 6, 2020

Comedian and podcaster Drew Morgan joins us for a wild episode. The south is just different. Drew talks growing up in Tennessee, doing comedy, and murder?! You know Drew from the Well Red Podcast and comedy tour. Join GAS Digital at www.GasDigitalNetwork.com - use promo code AYG for a discount! Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Forman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Hey there, gang. It's your old pals, Uncle Hank and Kippy. We got some big news, folks. RU Garbage is coming to the Gas Digital Network. That is correct. Me and old Kippy are joining the Gas Digital Family, baby, and we could not be more excited. Yeah, guys, this is fucking awesome. But don't worry, not much is changing. If you listen to the podcast, it's still available free wherever you listen. The most recent 15 episodes are available free on iTunes, on YouTube, wherever you listen to podcasts. But the catalog of RU Garbage will be available on GasDigitalNetwork.com. But don't you worry, you're a little garbage hearts, ladies and gentlemen, because if you go to GasDigitalNetwork.com and use promo

code A-Y-G, you know what that gets, big man? Talk to me. I get you a 14-day free trial and you'll save $1.50 a month as long as you're signed up. It's gonna be a hoot. You'll be crazy not to sign up for that. That's savings right there. And in this economy, we can all use to save a couple of bucks. So spend it wisely, folks. Not only do you get the catalog of A-Y-G, you also get the past catalog of Legion of Skanks, of Real Ass Podcasts, of Believe You Me, with Michael Bisping. Irish Goodbye. Irish Goodbye. You get all the shows on the network. It's gonna be fucking worth it.

Guys, sign up. Use promo code A-Y-G. Don't be a piece of trash. And gang, don't forget to check out the live stream every Tuesdays and Fridays at GasDigitalNetwork.com. If you want to watch it in HD, high quality, sign up for the network. You will not regret it. Those live streams will be out three days before everybody else gets to see them. So you're the first one to smell the garbage, baby. Sign up today. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley.

Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage? The show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and find out if they grew up classy or if they're complete trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on yet another beautiful day here in Bluebell, Pennsylvania. My co-host back in the New York Grove up there in the uptown, uptown Washington Heights cleaning up the fireworks. He's under siege, ladies and gentlemen. He's under siege with these illegal firecrackers. Give a big round of applause for my good pal, Mr. Kevin James Ryan, everybody. Hey gang, happy to be here. Thanks for tuning in. Shout out to Foley. Glad you put on your

makeup for us today. I don't know what it is. Dude, it looks like you got some rouge on, a little bit of lip liner. You are. You look like a nice little piece of ass over there, man. Woo, that's what I like to hear. Shout out to everybody. Guys, thank you so much for listening. Please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes, where we are currently in the top 120, baby. Yikes.

And we're cooking with gas over here. And also, the full video is available on YouTube. Make sure you subscribe there as well. And gang, we could not be more excited to have our very special guest with us here today. He has a book out right now called the liberal redneck manifesto. He's a part of the wall red tour and the wall red podcast. And he has his very own comedy special coming out very soon entitled greatest hits, but the big question everybody's mind today, is he garbage? And since we started this podcast, I seen him drinking at a two different bottles. So I'm

pretty sure he's fucking trash. Give it up for Drew Morgan, everybody. Yeah. What's up, fellas? It's great. It's great to be here. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. For the audio listener, he is currently not wearing a shirt, which is fucking 10 out of 10. Great. I can see that house speeding down the highway. I'll tell you that right now. I don't know

what your double wide you're in. Well, I'm in LA, so I've sold out. What? But on that note, it's not quite noon here, which I think makes the shirt more acceptable and less trashy, but the beer way more trashy. It's like, it's not noon. I don't need a shirt. Anyway, I'm drinking this beer. How you guys doing? What do you what do you sleep in? That's a that's a that's a good. That's a good little bit of an issue right there. What do you normally sleep in?

Well, we don't have kids. Me and my wife, we sleep in the nude. The nude really? Yeah. That's like swingers, dude. That's why I'm sleeping in the nude, dude. Yeah. You know us. We're just out here living that crazy lifestyle. Fart and bear has to ask. Wow. Nude sleeper. Both of you all the time. I mean, at least once a month, she wears panties, foliage.

Jesus Christ. You know, we're not fucking animals. You guys are like porn stars. Holy shit. LA has changed you, man. When I knew you, you were not a naked sleeper out in Queens. I tell you that. When we met in New York, when you get naked to go to sleep, all right, there's some intention there. I fall asleep at whatever I had on. You know what I mean?

But if you get undressed and then put on pajamas and go to sleep, that's intention. But like purposely taking everything off to get in the bed. I don't know. You probably got a thick piece on you. I'll tell you that. You wouldn't catch me fucking creeping around the apartment with no undies on. I shower in a bathing suit with my girls around. What are you talking about? Yeah. Yeah. But you got to understand everyone thinks like, you know, there's this like stupid

joke your buddies tell you, you get married and they're like, oh, you know, no more blow jobs or whatever the fuck that is. They tell you, but it's like, no, no, no. The beautiful thing is you get to give up. I don't give a shit what she thinks of my dick. It's no, it's not a nice one. Every night I pull these shorts down and I remind her. This is what you you that you it's an oath.

Is that where there's no vow? You vowed to be with this. Yeah. I do it in a little guy again. That's great. Oh, no, I just I just like being naked. You know what I mean? Like not like in public necessarily. Yeah, it depends. But I just sleep.

I like, I don't even want many blankets, you know what I'm saying? And also I don't cuddle. It's like I don't want anything on me. This is my time. Don't cuddle, sleep and make it. This guy's fucking the brawny man. Geez, try a cup of decaf. Well, you're a little bit.

But she said naked. I haven't heard naked since he off. And this is the wrong way. He so drew is one of when we first started that you were on the you were on the list for you were like the top three people we wanted to have on. I don't believe you. I swear, dude, I will I will still I will still show you the list. One, because you're you're I think you're argue.

I think you're the first real Southerner we're having on. So like who the quiz is definitely the South plays by its own fucking rules in a lot of a lot of ways when it comes to garbage and culture, I think. Well, yeah, first of all, it's trash where we're from in a garbage. That's what you take out trash. That's who I let come inside me. You know, he's got no shirt on. He's got the wicker and and all I can describe is country store furniture

behind them and there's an electric you didn't get that shit at West Elm. I'll tell you that fucking Bubba's Apple Cider and furniture store. That was that was a mom at one point. If we wake her up and we will and she'll be super, super happy about that. Let me tell you, my wife will come in here at some point. All of this is her aesthetically and I'm laughing so hard because you know, that store anthropology. Yeah. Well, imagine if that one down.

Yeah. Well, imagine if it got a mess for a little while. That's my wife's aesthetic. Like they're not on that anymore. You know what I mean? But I had a rough couple of years, twenty two to twenty four. Yeah. Wow, that's funny. It looks good, though. Of course, it does. It looks good. Nice little LA fucking spot up there killing it.

I love it. Take me back to I don't know. I know you're from the South, what are you from? Kentucky, Arkansas, Michigan. I'm from East Tennessee, Michigan, Upper Peninsula. It's south of Canada, Foley. No, I'm from I'm from Alabama. And I'm I'm from Tennessee. And I'm from East Tennessee, a town called Sunbright.

That's literally, yeah, we named it after the sun. I don't. Wow. I guess our first mayor was a caveman. And I don't sunbright infrastructure bad. I. Holy shit. All right. So what does Tennessee have? Like, do are you guys look down on? Because there's like the dynamic of the South, the other states

compared to hierarchy for sure. Yeah, compared to who? Anybody. Well, Alabama, Alabama's the worst. Really? Why? I live in what do you mean? Why is that? Because it's the location of every fucking documentary

about shittiness ever made. You watch the news. I got a couple of good running backs. I'll tell you that. What's like, if you if you're watching a documentary about, you know, the civil rights movement, it's the setting. And then lately, with all their bullshit, and it's going to be the setting of a lot of gay rights documentaries, too.

And they just true. They're trying to stay on top of the the tourism industry of and this is where the important guy got hit with a stick. They're hedging they're hedging their bets for the next like 50 years. So like people can go back and see it. Yeah. Yeah. All those pictures of like, you know, dogs and and like fucking water hoses. The guy holding it, he's still alive in Alabama.

He's not gone. That's fucked up. So he's or so. So Alabama is the worst. So what is Tennessee? Who's the best Georgia? I have to imagine. Tennessee's, I think, the best. And that's not just bias.

It could be Georgia because of Atlanta. You know, they get a lot of, I don't know, modern, whatever. Because of Nashville, though, we did, too. Of course, the problem with Nashville is that it's like, did you guys really fix how backwards you are? Is you just find a way to monetize it? And either way, I'm like, well, fuck you guys. As long as fucking assholes from Connecticut keep buying these country

albums that some rich prick made with a $75,000 truck. I don't give a shit. He's sending money our way. Sure. Yeah. You guys polish it up a little bit, get a little bit of scratch. You know what I mean? Now it's your time to shine. I like make sure you take this out.

It's good and you got nothing to worry about. You know what I mean? But I do think it's Alabama. I don't think that's fair for the record. I mean, Birmingham is one of my fucking favorite cities in the South. It's unbelievable. It's awesome. It's diverse.

It's like all the things like a liberal person would care about, but it's also like it's fucking rad and cool. So I do think Alabama gets an unfair shake, but Alabama is the one we all shit on. And we don't shit on Mississippi because everything you say about Alabama is true of Mississippi. Mississippi is fucking. They're so poor.

They're fiftieth in everything. Yeah, they are. They are. It was at the end of the roller coaster. Amazon's not going there. I'll tell you that. All right. So Sunbright, Tennessee, growing up, brothers, sisters.

I got one brother. Uh-huh. He's in prison for murder. So if you want to give me your quiz, go ahead. But I feel like shit. Yeah, he murdered a pedophile. It had to do with a pill addiction. It's a whole thing.

We can get into it if you want to, but it's like it's nuts. It's like if like John Gresham wrote a novel about Juggalos, like it's fucked up. Holy shit. Yeah, so one brother. Anyway, we can move on if you want. I mean, we can talk about it too. I don't care.

It's just that it's such a dark story. If you've never heard it before, even if I make what I think are great jokes. In my experience, no one thinks they're funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People still a little. It's got a little bit of a sting to it for some people. Yeah. Well, dude, that is fucking hardcore.

That's a fucking are you garbage first right there? Yeah, it's manslaughter, technically. So just in case that's pussy shit, everybody, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, put it down in your record books. Make sure there's an asterisk. Man's water. I did manslaughter a couple of weeks ago. One of his kids, one of his kids will still be under 18 when he gets up.

Huh? I'm sorry. He didn't do this when he was a kid, did he? No, he was 30. All right. So you guys grew up together. So what was it like growing up there? Oh, you know, I mean, that's one of those questions. Like, I didn't grow up anywhere else, but it was strange.

My brother's four years older than me and we're very different. You know, like I prefer kidnapping personally, but. I'm more of a felony B kind of guy if you catch my drift. But, you know, like. My dad was a drunk when we were younger. OK, that's what we like. But he ended up as a preacher. And my brother got more of the drunk and I got more of the preacher.

You know what I mean? That's my next move. I'll tell you that. It's a good move. It's a good move. And so I gather they still are. Yeah, I mean, you know, there was a couple of separations there. I remember we ended up in one place when they were separated with like great

paneling, but I just remember I made my mom cry because I was shitting on the paneling so hard because like I was mad they were getting a divorce. But, you know, in my eight year old mind, I was like, and this panel is fucking ugly. Get your shit together. What kind of house is growing was like a single family house? Or was it a trailer? Yes, no, a single family. But we lived on Pleasant Ridge Missionary Baptist Church Road.

Shut up. That was not the name of the road. It's 100 percent the name of the road. It won't fit on the sign. Oh, Jesus Christ. That's a big envelope to say. I would. Yeah. I wouldn't.

One letter. I'll tell you that. Your brother screwed on the letters at prison. I'll tell you that. I ain't right, man. They charge you per letter now, so he can't get one out a year is all. Yes. That jokes for like two people who know somebody in prison.

They charge you for everything. But anyway, my papa built like three of the houses, maybe four on that road. I'm sorry. The what? My papa. You who? Stole up. Excuse me.

That's like a grandfather, but racist papa. Yeah. And now I feel like I tell that it sounds like he's this like manly man who's awesome. He was a huge piece of shit. Most of the houses sucked. He ripped everybody off. He's out of the family. And I mean, man, we hit the jackpot.

This dude's not even out of the where you're from. What do you do? Is that he's still doing crowd work. I'm vamping over here. He's like, yeah, well, you know, my brother killed a guy. My grandfather's a piece of shit. I don't have his shirt on. I'm drunk.

It's 11 a.m. What's up? Well, let's OK. I was like, God damn it. You mother fuck. I knew you all set me up. I knew this was going to happen. Let's get in the law school.

Let's get in the meeting. Nelson Mandela. OK, let's get to that later. OK, of course. But anyway, my whole family lived on that road. And so that was an interesting thing about growing up there. It's a very rural situation. I graduated high school with 43 people.

Why is it holy shit? Yeah, yeah, we started out with 60. We lost quite a few to pregnancy drugs and had to go to work. But growing up with like all your aunts, you know, aunts around you, like that, because, you know, it's like kind of a stereotype. Any big family has craziness in it. So you've got, I got one aunt who's been married five times.

I got the aunt who is a lesbian, but we didn't have that word in the 90s, not where I grew up, you know what I mean? So she just had a special friend. You had the aunt who was super religious. Like I had all that within a stone's throw. And I had a bunch of cousins running around because we're, you know, we're Christian. We don't believe in not doing that.

So I grew up around all these different types of folks, but they were my family. So that really, I think is like how I grew up, quote unquote, more than Tennessee. I mean, don't get me wrong. There was a lot of Tennessee involved in all that, obviously. I kissed a couple of the cousins, but I'm listening. It was only one.

I was just trying to make a joke for the people out there listening. Let me turn my lights down a little bit. Set the mood. Yeah. So I just picture, I picture you and your cousins growing up like fucking wild, where you guys just like running around fucking.

My cousin, Tasha, she's like, she's in Birmingham, the city I talked about. She's married to a doctor. She's like high up at a Teach for America. She is one of the most caring, white ladies, drinks wine every night, you know, established people. But when I get her drunk and I get her around me, we go to the green room or something after a show

when I'm down there, she starts talking about, she's got a scar on her titty where I accidentally stabbed her with a butter knife when we were seven years old, you know. She starts talking about us running around barefoot. She starts talking about me falling off the swing set, trying to wrap my big wheel down it. And I'm like, damn, we grew up feral, you know?

Like we did. That's some wild shit, dude. Haven't titties. This guy's stabbing titties. I threw the butter knife down in the ground and it bounced. All right, what am I, I was framed. Holy, to your brother said. All right, listen, keep it moving.

That's terrible. But I grew up rural, but surrounded by family, if that makes, there was no one else. Like outside of that road, the next neighbor was half a mile or a mile away. Holy shit, that's a big, that's a big trash thing. I guess in the South, it's a little different, but like the touching property lines,

the touch that you share with other family members is always a dead giveaway that like, you know what I mean? It's like, everybody just stay over here. We'll pool our resources. And like one person has to watch all the kids. Right? Yeah. What did your dad do growing up?

He worked for the railroad. He was a union man. Now, did your grandfather own, your grandfather owned all this property? Slaves? No, he didn't. He was too young for that, but. He owned all that property? Yeah, or my dad did once upon a time.

Like my dad bought some property from him and then bought more. But yeah, it was all in the family. Wow, man, that is fucking old. Why are you drinking two things? You told me it was early in the morning in LA. Are you drinking a beer? Yeah, that's what I was saying.

I was saying it's early. So that explains why I don't have a shirt on. But it's early. So I guess that's not a good excuse for why I'm drinking beer. What kind of beer are you drinking? It's a German beer store. Yeah.

I'm hungover when I'm drinking a beer. And to be completely honest, sorry, this is a very trash. I hadn't drank in like three weeks. And that's why I'm so hungover from yesterday. Yeah. You got to keep that tight little body on you. I get it.

Otherwise, you end up looking like the big man over here. Yeah, we'll say it's that, not the sadness. Anyway, go ahead. All right, so you get out of high school. Obviously, you did good in high school. Yeah, I was valedictorian, actually. I had 12 people, but I mean, it's still 43. That was my joke back then.

I'm smart enough to realize I am the top 10%. This actually isn't working for me. And then where did you go to school? I went to Marible College. It's a little liberal arts school outside of Knoxville. It was about two hours from where I grew up. I played football there. And oh, very nice.

In law school? Boston College, which was me getting the fuck out of the cell. Holy shit. That's like the devil's advocate. Oh my God. This guy's class. I mean, from fucking zero to 18 touching go. But once he got that on his own, this kid's full throttle.

I would say zero to 20, 21s touching go. When you went to Boston College, had you been up north, been in cities or anything like that before? Not to live, but I mean, you know, and we know how planes work where I'm from, but yeah. But no, I'd never lived. I had lived in Australia and I had lived in South Africa as part of a study abroad program.

I should tell everyone listening and judging the shit out of my family deservedly so. My mother's an educator. She's a brilliant fucking woman. She's a storyteller. She like pushed me to study abroad and all that. My dad, when he did finally quit drinking, I mean, he is a preacher and not just like, I hate gays.

I mean, he's like fucking smart. He knows the bottle in and out. We're just hillbillies, you know what I mean? We're just fucking dumb, smart people. It's just in you. It's just that you have that edge to you. Yeah. Well, Trey, the guy I toured with, Trey Crowder,

he's, you know, way more famous than me. He's got this thing where he's like, it's like he gets drunk sometimes. It's very funny and I'm so sad. He gets drunk. He's like, oh, it'll go away. I'll ruin it. Well, I'll ruin it.

It's just in us, boys. Dude, that's like that. It's fucking in us, man. Yeah. I'm gonna do something. Fuck up. I know it. I know it.

It's gonna get me. We're literally going through that right now. Yeah, as we're getting some heat. I'm like, wow, I can always join the, I can always join the Blumberg Union once this goes down. I'm like on the phone with my brother, like, yeah, you guys hire. What's the next year looking like?

You guys gonna be busy, dude? Your brother's like, what's wrong? Just quarantine, killing comedy. Yeah, that, but also some things I tweeted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh man, that's fucking. That's like that is like a, just that's, that's like generational trash where it's just in you.

And like, once you start, you can never fully get away from it. Well, and I've talked to a lot of comedians about that. And a lot of us have, because a lot of us come from various versions of fucked up backgrounds. Sure, of course. And I can't, of course, speak on behalf

of any minority group or whatever. But that one thing is sometimes a difference. And I realized at one point where like, a lot of, in my experience, black folk don't have that as strong, but it's because like, they never feel like they're fully in the club. Whereas trash people are like,

I'm in the door. If I can just make it into that main room before anyone realizes my invitation is bullshit. Yeah, yeah. It's like we, because we're wide or whatever, it's like, we almost have the security that we've made it. And it's like some part of us is like, nah, they're not gonna let me in.

Yeah, they're gonna, like they're gonna smell my cheap cologne once I get in there. Right, right. Whereas again. I'm gonna smell the brood on you and I know it's a big giveaway. Right, whereas again, just in my experience when I'm talking to a lot of black folk,

they're like, no, they're never letting me in, period. Whereas a part of me is like, no, I think, I got a lot of agree. I think I can go in there. And then like, it's like in the TV show you cut to me three seconds later. Yeah, they found out, they saw my teeth and they knew of me.

They saw me drinking Tang and they threw me right out. I don't know how, fuck. Right, whereas your black friend who never went in was like, I fucking told you dude, come on. Yeah, let's go. Let's get the fuck out of here, no shit. All right, let's get into some more of your garbage here, this is an interesting one.

Talk about fucking zero to 60, dude. Yeah, from Sunbright, Tennessee to fucking Boston College. My niece just got into Boston College. Oh man, congrats to it. Gonna be a golden eagle. I'm hoping she goes all the way. Senator, Congress, something. I need some fucking kickback money

and a couple of fucking no big contracts to keep this operation afloat. Is she an undergrad, you mean? Yeah. That was a culture shock for me. The law school wasn't on the regular campus but we had to go there for various things and going to a giant, being on a giant Northeast,

old college campus like that, where like it was just such a culture shock for me, man. They had like a uniform, the Uggs with the vest, you know? And they were talking about skiing and all this other stuff that I thought only rich people were allowed to do. Y'all do coke, all right, here we go. I see today, I found my people and by that I mean the dealers.

That's, wait, have you ever been skiing now? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, a couple of times. Nice, did you ski in your jeans? No, but if you want to trash story, I just, God damn it, I can't believe I'm telling this. My wife is probably more attached to me.

We went skiing with the law school group. We had just started living together, right? When I was finishing law school and she called a girl in my class a cunt. I've met your wife a handful of times and she's, she's a bit of a fire handful. Yeah, handful's the right word. Anyway, it was over a beer pong game.

And I was like, that's classic trash. Classic trash, dude. I gotta get, I can't go skiing. What was that? This is my fault. Really? I think I threw a game of beer pong. That is awesome.

I love it. All right, let's get into some questions here. Let's go to screw it around. Now I understand the rural background. I get it. Let's see if we can piece this together a little bit here. First thing we'd like to ask everybody is what was the name of the grocery store

that your mother went to while you were growing up? Okay, when I was younger, it was called Darnell's Food Market. Oh! Yep. Okay, okay. One guy, one guy. Yeah, yeah, hold on.

That was in Warburg, a town away. All right, then they got to save a lot and she started going there. Then we got a small chain, quote unquote chain, the dude on three of them, his name was RB and my aunt, Donna, my aunt Barbara worked there. And she started an affair with the potato chip man. Who's name, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Who's name was Punkin'. And then he kept telling her who's gonna leave his wife for her. He never did. She hated him. She almost got in trouble for stalking him. She finally separated in her life from him. That was over.

At my wedding, I found out that Punkin' is my wife's first cousin. And my aunt had to see the guy that she was in love with with his family that he wouldn't leave for her. Who was the potato chip man. At the grocery store in my town that was no longer there because the guy who owned it burned it down for insurance money.

She gave me my fuckin' price. Christ. So who catered the wedding, Darnell? I didn't put it. We got a pig from a farm and cooked it ourselves. I swear to God. Dude, that's great. I wanna stay in the wedding.

Where was the wedding? We're big. Weddings say so much about families. Where was the wedding? We got married in the church. My wife grew up in. It's Presbyterian. On my album, the Well Red Live tour album,

my closing joke is about being there stoned for the Christmas play. And thinking these people were too fuckin' fancy because they had a beautiful church with like, I was like stained glass. I got stained clothes. This is fucked up. But then we did the reception in her parents' yard.

But she had a lawyer, Papaw, he had passed on. But my point is, they had like a really nice farmhouse. Okay, nice. That's classy. That's classy. What was the dress code at said wedding? True Morgan. All the tiered jerseys?

Yeah, that wasn't included in the invitation. I mean, I will say on behalf of my people, they know better. I mean, there were probably people in like, they're good jeans, quote unquote. Good jeans. That's a real big ugly thing. Yeah, but most people had on suits. Yeah, nice, okay.

We were talking, I forget who we were talking to. Maybe I forget who it was, but they were saying that their cousin still wears football jerseys to weddings. Cause it's a nice, cause that's a nice, that's a good going out piece. It was Gillis. That's enough to get one of Gillis' cousins.

Cousin Frankie or something like that showed up. Was the wedding, can I ask you this? Was the wedding, was it all you can drink? Or was it a cash bar? It was all you can drink and my brother-in-law brought moonshine. Nice. That's good.

See, we had beer, we provided beer, but he brought moonshine just on his own. See, look at that, and that shows you right there. And that's kind of the point behind the whole podcast is, is it doesn't matter whether you're rich or poor, you can still do trashy things. Now, you know, you came from humble beginnings, you're hardworking people, you get married,

and you still take on the responsibility to make sure everybody has a good time with food and drink. You'll go to fucking a rich people's weddings and it'll be a cash bar, paying for your own drinks like a fucking jerk golf. It's unbelievable. Yeah, I don't, you know, classy, we need a different word for it

because that's so associated with money. But I used to work at, you know, well, probably when I met you guys, I worked at a catering venue in New York part-time. My wife was a manager there and I would work on the weekends and they had a lot of money. It was like in the middle of fucking, you know, like Times Square, so it was rich people

and sometimes they had no class. Oh yeah. No cooth, as I think the old timers would call it. No cooth. Yeah, their people are coothless, my people are toothless. I think we're better. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

All right, Kippy, what do you got? All right, let's see. Any of your houses growing up or, you know, college in your 20s or even currently, have any of your houses ever had carpet in the bathroom? Yeah, yeah, there was a time, I think it was, I think it was always meant to be temporary, but it ended up lasting a couple of years.

They pulled something up in our bathroom because of a problem and just put down the cheapest thing they could buy. And then like three or four years later, my mom finally replaced it. And it was like that really thin outdoor carpet, but yeah. Quick follow-up question. What was the problem in the bathroom?

I mean, I think we just had a leak or what, you know what I'm saying? Like some floors got ruined. Because I recently had to call my mom out about the carpet in the bathroom. The carpet in the bathroom comes from the fact that we had new carpet put into our bathroom, okay? And my mom is now denying it and saying, no, that was the carpet that they had.

And then we tore it up. But I specifically remember the night that they did tore it, tear it up. It was like a week after my mom bought this brand new carpet. My dad came home hammered from a softball game and took a shower without closing the curtain. And water got all over the bathroom and ruined the carpet. We tried to salvage it by hanging it over the pool,

which was empty. Oh my God. Dude, that's great. You are some garbage. So that's where that comes from. And I was just curious if you had a similar situation. I was too young to remember. Somebody pissed their shit in the bathroom.

Right. I was too young to remember what happened. But my dad was drinking when I was too young to remember stuff. So maybe that's what happened. We'll go ahead and say our drunk dad's ruin both of our bathrooms. Yeah, I'm sure it was connected at some point. Yeah, fair enough. It's not bad though when you pee on the floor,

you don't have to wipe it up. You can just stick it in the carpet. Yeah, well, you're not going to get out the wet back. You're not going to shop back that thing, you know? Yeah, using the shop back in reverse as a blower, that's real garbage. Dude, you want to know how my dad is so blue-collar so trashy, he uses that to vacuum the house, dude.

Well, dude, because he owns like a construction company. So like, dude, he would just be like, he'd be fucking doing the master bedroom with like the fucking adjustment on. Meanwhile, he just like sucked up like dog piss and shit and like whatever. It wasn't an inside shop back and an outside shop back. There was an altering shop back.

He wiped the nozzle off. Come on, dude. Oh, man, that's, that's fucking. Right on the cleaner with the fucking shop back. By the way, I don't want you to think that we skipped over. It wasn't heard. I did hear you say that the name of your mother's grocery store was a man named Darnell.

I just want I wanted to go back and make sure you knew that we that we heard that. Man, I still remember the local radio commercials. Their tagline was Darnell's your key to good eating. And they would all their coupons had keys on them, you know? And that is like, like that's the that's the advertising that seeps in. That's so funny.

And for sure, you know, Darnell recorded that radio, recorded that at himself. Yeah. And the reason they used a key is like that was the free clip art they could afford. You know what I mean? Like they just, oh, a key is free. We'll build our whole campaign around that.

It has nothing to do with eating. It's the starfish to your dreams, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, my goodness. All right. I want to ask you, growing up in the environment that you grew up, did you ever hunt or catch or kill anything that you had for dinner? Personally, or in the family? In the family.

Yeah, my dad's a big time hunter. And he got let go from the railroad because he got caught selling weed and he refused to roll over on his friends and or admit it. But because unions are strong and the fucking backbone of this country. Let's just see that in there in this podcast. Amen, brothers, shout out to the Screen Actors Guild. Exactly. Yeah, the writer's been paying my insurance, but that just ended.

I don't know what I'm going to do. Anyway, it's Cobra Trash. Like if you get Cobra Insurance, it's, oh my God, I hate it. Cobra Trash, I hate it. I hate it. They sent me the, it was like this fucking paperwork was like 87 pages. And at the end it was like, and this is how much you owe us. And I was like, throw this away.

They screw you, man. They fucking screw you. If you're insurance provider is named after a reptile, it ain't a good one. I'll tell you that much, okay? They're like, this is an acronym. I'm like, no, it's a venomous snake that kills people. Yeah. Cobra, the venom to your future.

My dad didn't lose his job. He had to like fire them, but he was laid off with no pay during that time. And that whole winter we ate deer meat. And I secretly think it was like the happiest times of my life. Of his life, excuse me. Of his life, I meant to say like, he didn't have to go to work. Like was protecting his friends, was sticking up for what he believed in, and was getting to like hunt for his family.

Yeah, my dad's like a real rugged motherfucker. So he's like, he's like who Joe Rogan pretends to be. So like my dad is like, like, and you know what I'm saying? Like he was like, I'm ready for this. So we did that a lot. And I hunted some and I've killed a couple of things, but I was bad at it. My brother was good at it. Not rolling over on your friends selling weed.

That's fucking class right there. All right. That's a fucking point. If I've ever seen one. This gets crime and out of the dirt. I like it. I know I would argue that the reason it's manslaughter and not murder has a lot to do with my family not rolling over on your friends.

That's pretty good. It's pretty good. Holy shit. Um, OK. Anyone in your family ever own a pontoon boat? Immediate family or can I count my uncle Mark? Oh, uncle Mark's. We're going to own pontoon boats.

We're going to call Mark owns pontoon boats. One time I won free tickets to a race and my car and then my car race. You can't just say race. We're we're North East people. You can't just say race. NASCAR, the Bristol, whatever motor speed way. It wasn't Formula One. I can tell you that.

No, it was like this is formula. Hey, and what's happening? It was Bristol, which is in East Tennessee, which is one of the most fun tracks in the most popular fucking sport in North America. Assholes. I know. Anyway, but anyway, I gave those to uncle Mark to get him to fix my car. Uncle Mark's the best. Yeah, so, dude, a pontoon boat is is is pure trash.

Dude, the only reason it exists is to drink not on land. That is a little bit. It moves at like two knots an hour and barely fucking they barely move. Some of them we have a bathroom on them. Man, you get me high. Scoot. I'm fired up. That thing at the international waters. Dude, it's always an uncle that has it.

My uncle, Mike's got a pontoon boat. Can I go get another beer? We're talking about pontoon boats and I'm really thirsty all of a sudden. Of course. I'll be right back. Yeah, go ahead and get another beer and gang. Just a quick reminder, just want to let everybody know is everybody does know we're joining gas, digital network, joining the gas, digital family.

And we could not be more excited. We're going to be doing our first episode tomorrow. That's Tuesday. This episode comes out on a Monday. So do us a favor, gang. Once you sign up for gas, digital, you can use promo code A Y G. You're going to save a dollar fifty on your subscription and you're going to get a 14 free 14 day free trial. So check it the fuck out, man.

It's going to be a good time. And we get to wet our beak a little bit. You know what I mean? That's right, Kippy. Was was your uncle, Mark, your real uncle? Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah. You married my Aunt Lisa. But like they were married before I came into the world and they're still married.

Gotcha. Pantoon boats, man. Love a good dude. If you're out on a pontoon boat with a cooler full of ice down beers. Yeah, good night, dude. Yeah, you're only one. If you guys, if everyone listened, if you guys remember, Teddy Tasha, who accidentally stabbed with a butter knife, that's her dad. So I don't know, Tasha.

That's funny, dude. Have you ever had to call 911 on a family member? I would never do that. Yeah, yeah. That's fucking blood. Let me tell you something. I've asked that 10 times or five, maybe five times. That's a great fucking answer, Drew Morgan.

That's a great fucking answer right there. This guy, this guy plays it fucking by the book. I like all right, man, he's all right. OK, let's see. Anyone in your family ever in a cover band? Oh, I got people who play in church a lot, which I guess they're only doing cover songs. It's just that's respectable, though.

That's respectable. That's for the Lord. If you're playing church. Yeah, if you're playing, you know, the fucking Bee Gees or something at the bricks. My cousin Sherry's my favorite boyfriend of hers never growing up. My cousin Sherry was like my babysitter.

His name was John. He was in a cover band and he's rad as fuck. He's still an old, like, redneck hippie, which I know if you're out there listening to like, we mean a redneck, very rare. Most of them died when the almond brother span broke up. But John, he's got like long hair, smoke. So he was in a cover band.

Nice, man. All right, what do you got, big guy? Are there any members of your family that went to hairdressing school but did not finish for personal reasons? I might be a yes. I feel like I'm certain some of my aunts did and I don't remember it.

The reason I'm laughing so hard is that describes Trey's sister literally to a T. The guy I tore with. Anyway, not as far as I know, but probably. Okay, all right. That's pretty good. Pretty good. I like it.

Anybody in your family ever owned just a hot tub? Not connected to a pool, just a hot tub. Got a couple of bucks together maybe so that someone had good credit. They financed one for like 32 hundo. My old man's talking about getting one right now. I swear to God. Dude, they are trash.

My stepdad had one. And he thought he was the coolest dude when I first met him. My Aunt Patty did back in the day that I can remember and it was at her trailer at the time. She was with my uncle Bubby. I have no idea what his real name is and I won't say it because he was a Coke addict.

They were involved in the Highway 27 Club which was a bar with no windows that the Hell's Angels used to run drugs through. She ended up, you know, growing up a little bit. Her hot tub days are behind her, if you know what I mean. Her hot tub days, well, she's passed away a rest in peace Aunt Patty but she put her hot tub days behind her before she passed.

There you go. She was a paralegal, she was a shit. Ah, that's not too bad. What other names, what other nicknames of aunts and uncles do you have that aren't their names? Cause I got a couple of those. That's a real trashy too. Bubby's probably the best one.

My uncle Gerald, I knew his uncle Jed. I didn't know his name was Gerald. I know that's a shortening but Jed is such a, you know. I didn't know that was his name until they got divorced. Like I saw the divorce papers and someone was like Aunt Barb's divorced from Gerald. Who the fuck is Gerald? Why did you see their divorce papers?

Why wouldn't I, you know, slaying her in? She's probably bitching about how he won't sign them. Why she sees hot dogs and ramen noodles, dawg. This is... Well, yeah, dude, my parents got divorced. I've never seen a fucker. I've never seen a set of documents. I didn't get to review them.

What the fuck? Fuck it, Drew Morgan over here is just 25 lives. I know. To be fair, my little asshole self at 12 or whatever, I probably was like, can I see those? Yeah, well, yeah. She's a nerd or something, yeah. Also, you know what I just realized, guys?

Jed, she's taking you for everything, you fucking moron. You're getting fleece. She's getting a fucking hot tub, you idiot. What is this bullshit about her getting custody of a snake? You deserve weekends at least. You know what I just realized about trash? You know what it is among families is like, if you just open with your embarrassment.

Of course. Like that's what trash, like we just, we don't have enough pride in that kind of stuff. We've been under the rug really, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's like. There's no rugs. Who can afford a rug? You got one in the bathroom.

I'll say this, we as Irish Catholics, we do a little sweep, we do a little emotional sweeping. I'll say that. Oh, for sure, yeah. We do a lot of emotional sweeping. Yeah, we do that in the South and we hide it under our manners. Yeah, there you go.

There you go. If anybody's wondering, that's all Southern manners are. And inability or unwillingness to deal with bullshit. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that makes sense. I could see that. I like that. So that's kind of, you got to toe the line with those.

Yeah. Yeah. Do you currently own or have you ever owned a DVD-VCR combination player? Yeah, I went in college. It was a gift from a family member. Nice. Was it new?

Or used? Isn't it? New. Dude, I remember. Jet ain't gonna need this no more. One thing I love about trash people that I also just realized is pretending or being like offended

that someone asked you something like that. What do you mean was it new? Like I can't afford a combination DVD-VCR? But also it's a valid question because you're like, yeah, I might've gotten some huge shit at some point, you know. But I remember the one time I was growing up, this kid, his brother bought on something for Christmas

and he bought like a Nerf gun for like five bucks off the neighbor and then wrapped it in a trash bag and gave it to him on Christmas. And I was like, I'm like, I'm trash, but that is a fucking whole nother level, dude. You fucking bought a $5 Nerf gun off your neighbor and then put it in a trash bag.

And that's what that poor kid had to open on Christmas morning. Dude, that's one of those like fucking memoirs. I don't know what I'm talking about. Your hands on fucking, that's like super trash. Cause you can get your hands, wrapping paper ain't fucking, you know, it's not $1,000 a roll.

It's, man, that's, I'm sorry. Is he okay now? He's doing all right. He bounced back. Still got the Nerf gun though. It's the only gift his dad ever gave him. I would like to know this, southern gentlemen, such as yourself,

how do you feel about the food item known as imitation crab meat? I love it. Love it way more than I do crab meat. Really? Yeah. That's a first. That's crazy. That's a garbage first right there folks.

That's cause that's what they put in sheep sushi, right? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So see, I went not trashy with it. We're talking about sushi, but I like to trash it up. That's the thing. Yeah. Well, like, I do like seafood.

I, I genuinely do. You know, I just want to remind everyone listening. We've already talked about it. I did go to law school. I like seafood, but I just don't like, I don't like crab. It's just, I just don't like the flavor, but I love imitation crab.

Are you a crawdad guy? Do you do crawdads down there? I will a little bit. We don't do them where I'm from. That's more of a bayou. That's like Florida panhandle Louisiana type shit. What would be, what would be like, what would be a local sunbrite dish?

A sunbrite dish? Yeah. I mean, you can't eat pills. We snored them. But uh, uh, I don't know, man. Perkins set the Mickey's. That's what we're doing. Sunbrite is so small.

I don't know, like East Tennessee. We're in East Tennessee. We're in that part of Appalachia. And I think our main dish is there. We have our own type of barbecue. It's close, it's close to Carolina barbecue. And we do like gravy biscuits. Matter of fact, here's the trash thing for today.

My wife she lives. We'll have some GBs. We, uh, a fan of, of, of hours of my tour and my wife became friends and she found out that that girl's brother lives out here and makes gravy biscuits on Sunday and sells them to people. He makes a huge pot of everything and then sells them. I woke up at eight 45 on a Sunday to go get them.

We ate those gravy biscuits this morning and then my wife went back to sleep. Man, that's clean living right there. Ain't nothing wrong with it. It is. And it's funny you bring that up because somebody on Twitter, one of the people who listened to the podcast asked us about something he calls shit on a shingle.

Yeah, shit on shingles. So the way, the way his, his, his mom did it was, it was peas, you know, the cream sauce and tuna. And I was saying that, yeah, in, in, in Pennsylvania and Philly, we do shit on a shingle. It's chip beef, the cream on toast and you have it in breakfast. So you're basically talking about sausage gravy. Sausage gravy with biscuits instead of toast.

And if we do it on toast, we call it shit on shingles. Man. Ah, there you go. Dude, what is it about that fucking, that gravy is so fucking. It doesn't matter. You pour it over anything. Buddy, it's, well, it's liquid bread. And this is a gross thing to say, but it's true. Wet bread is the best fucking thing. Pizza, gravy biscuits, fucking bread pudding.

Like wet bread sounds gross, but every version of wet bread we eat is the shit. Yeah, man. Dude, I love what I'm, I love what I'm eating a hero and the little pieces of rolls real so they get the vinegar and the olive oil. I don't know. Oh, he's crying.

Oh, he's crying. He said wet bread. What the fuck? I can't laugh at it. He's crying. He's getting emotional. He's got a hero. Oh my God.

That was too funny. I like wet bread. Oh, that's great. All right. So there you go. There you go. Biscuits and gravy. God, and that shit's fucking good. Yeah, man.

There's a place, there's a place in New York that does them. Jacobs Pickles up on the Upper West Side. They do. It's good. Oh, it's great. It's all Southern food. I think I've been there. Southern and Jewish inspired.

It's really weird. I think I've been there. Andy had a friend from West Virginia who took us there and I was super just, you know, like, what are we doing here? I even have a bit about like going to some place in Brooklyn and they've got like country theme on the wall.

You know, I've got a whole bit about them. Like, you know, they gentrified my dad out of his jeans with their fucking Carhartt jackets and stuff. Sure, yeah. So I was like, I don't know. And it was good. And I think that was the place. Yeah, some of them get it right up here for sure.

Now, how do you feel about like a cracker barrel? I'm fine with cracker barrel. You know, it's like, it's like Nashville country music to me. It's like, that's not what country music is. But I'm so glad somebody took our shit and they're convincing you idiots to spend money on it kind of thing.

And I'll eat a cracker barrel. I'll eat a cracker barrel. What is it like an Applebee's, like a Southern Applebee's, is that what we're looking at? Oh, you've never been there? It's like a diner with a little bit more heart. Okay. It's a country eater.

It's a country diner. Yeah, it's a country diner. It's a country diner, but on the way out, they have the gift shop that's all country. They have like suckers and like, you know, things to the house and all this kind of stuff. You can get the Big Mouth Billy Bass there that says this works.

That's the question. Have you ever owned one of those? Yeah, my parents got one. Have they still got one? No. Lost it in a divorce anyway. That might be better than snake. I might need to put that in my act.

That might be better than snake, seriously, Foley. And better than splitting custody of a snake, splitting custody of a Big Mouth Billy Bass. That's fucking good, dude. I'm seeing it on the weekends. You know what cracker barrel it has that's awesome? The old school root beer barrels. I don't know how you guys feel about those.

That was my favorite candy bar. An old school R&B? Good night. Oh my God. You talking about the candy with the wax? No. Oh, those things are crazy good back in the day. No.

It was stunk. It was more wax than anything. All right, I was doing it with it. All right, but we're not talking about that. What are you talking about then? We're talking about root beer barrels, little hard candies that taste like root beer and look like little tiny barrels.

And they're wrapped in usually red or orange. Man, you know what I'm realizing? This might be one of those this ain't for us type. We didn't spend any time in the gift shop even when I was little. It almost be like, yeah, this is for people who think my life is a museum. Yeah, I'm right.

That's why it's Fully's there. That's where Fully gets the Christmas presents for his family. It's like a real hillbilly, mom. I'm eating root beer barrels. Drew, I want you to know, I really respect your culture. I visit the Crackle Barrel every month.

Now does your family make them root beer barrels? Is that where you get them from? All right, so now obviously you got a little bit, you got a successful career, you got out, you went to law school, but I'm saying you're not home on the fucking range anymore, Drew. You know what I mean?

You're out in LA, you're moving, you're shaking. Do you drink coffee? Are you a coffee drinker? Not really. I drink ice coffee sometimes. Okay, where do you get your ice coffee? Do you have a go-to spot? No, I know.

I just get it. I fucking just mix it up over here. I mean, I do instance sometimes. Now my wife's a big coffee snob, but this morning, and this is why I'm so, I took some of hers. She had made and made ice coffee with it. Okay.

I didn't even say he makes instant coffee. Have any instantly turned to trash? That's a guy. There it is. Where were you going with this line of questioning? I wanted to see if he was more, if he falls more of a Starbucks guy or a more of a Duncan guy.

He'd be a Duncan guy from Boston. I fucking love Duncan. And I do think it's because of Boston. Before I ever started doing comedy, the first bit I wrote was just to my friends was about being in a fucking Duncan. And just how you can go to any Duncan in Boston and every single time the same scenario is going to play out.

It's just one of those fucking dude, call it, you know. Hey, I'm at Dunks. No, you want something? Yeah. Latte, what are you fucking queer? I'm not getting you a Latte. I can't let that fucking order out of my mouth, you know? Like I love that you could go there in Boston.

And I guess it reminded me of home. You know, you could see a fucking dude who was on his way to a job that most people would never ever do or want to do. And he was saying some questionable things, but he seemed like he's just ordering his fucking coffee black and hating the world. And I guess what I'm saying is I miss my dad, guys.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Well, I ask because my family is, they're all construction workers, you know, it's all, and it's a Duncan family. That's what I'm saying. It's a Wawa family or a Duncan family. All right, yeah, we're a Tiger Mart and then, you know, we make our own coffee, but yeah.

Sure, so like I recently, my uncle, who's like, oh, he's like an old fucking blue collar, like pipe fitter, that's what he does. He recently got into it. Like he somehow let us guard down and got into Starbucks coffee because like somebody had like just somebody got it. He deserves it.

That's great. He deserves it. He is like, oh, he's a pig in shit, dude. He's like, have you tried? And I'm the same way. It took me like years to stop going to Duncan to finally like confidently walk into a Starbucks and be like, let me get a Venti mic black.

Let's do it, you know? Yeah, no, I love that. That's ingrained in that generation of construction workers that is ingrained in them. My wife got my dad fancy fucking coffee for Christmas and she was like, I'm gonna get your dad this. He loves coffee. Me and him, we wake up and drink it together.

You know, where the coffee freaks in the family when we're there on Christmas or whatever and I was like, okay, sure. And when he opened it, he was like, thanks. And I was like, yeah, see, I fucking told you. But then like a week later, like he ran out of his folder so he made it and he was like calling her. And then they just, they became these little like coffee girl.

You know, like talks. That's great, dude. And I was like, he deserves it. He deserves good fucking coffee. Of course, man. That dude, there's that generation of guy that cut that guy that's cut from that cloth. And now they don't know.

They don't know. They're like, let me get, they go to Duncan. They get an extra large with like extra sugar, extra cream or whatever and just like keep it moving. I'm like, dude, go put a little fucking soy in there. A little splash of corn, you know. So this is all you do for yourself. Do it right.

I know. You know what it's branding? Just don't call it self-care. You know what I mean? Just like, that's the problem. Those guys don't care. Just don't call it any of that bullshit. Just be like, hey, it's better drugs or whatever.

Exactly. Yeah, yeah. It's stronger coffee. There you go. Sell it, you know, sell it as that. That's funny. All right. I think I only got one more left.

How about you, big man? Drew Morgan, I would like to know two things. Then and now, what is the current brand of toothpaste that you're using in your household and what was the brand of toothpaste growing up at your parents? You have no idea how fucking, you guys are cutting right to the heart

of issues in America right now. Growing up. Start now, start now. I want to, whichever is worse. There's two in there right now. And I had literally two days ago, I was looking at it like, who the fuck have I become? Oh, I love it.

The duality of man right here with Drew Morgan. You say Dr. Braumers are fucking Mrs. Myers. I'm gonna lose it. It's Tom's Charcoal. Tom's Charcoal or coal or whatever the fuck it is. Charcoal. And without, I'll tell you that much. And then the other one is some kind of

all natural whitening thing my wife bought. Here's what's extra funny about this. The Tom's is Tom's with fluoride. I got that in protest. She got this whitening non-fluoride because she's all woo woo and like, we can't have the fluoride. And I'm laughing because I'm like, no, this is stupid.

We've forgotten who we are. I will go to the store right now and get toothpaste with fluoride. And I came home with Tom's Charcoal, but it's got fucking fluoride in it. God damn it, baby. Write a country song about that motherfucker. Let me ask you this.

All right, put a pin in that for a second. If you went home for Christmas with your wife, would you take that toothpaste with you and use it in Eastern Tennessee? I would use it, but she would bring it with us. And I don't know where that is on the trash. My wife packs toothpaste. There you go.

No, that's all right. Covering up a little white lie like that. Nothing wrong with it. Say a little face with the boys when you're having a Budweiser. No, she literally would bring it. Like when I go on the road, I just forget it and then have to get

whatever the hotel gives me. There you go. Okay, so now that we've gotten here, what was the brand of toothpaste growing up? I think it was called Colgate. Is that a medium one? That's right up the middle. That's Main Street, any town, USA, right?

It ain't Crest, but it's not bad. Yeah, we know. We were not a Crest family. I feel like I heard my mom say that before. Aquafresh is garbage now, okay? But Aquafresh, when you were a kid, that's all anybody wanted was to make that little fucking swirl with the Aquafresh

with the three different colors. Mine always looked like bird shit. Oh my God. That's a whole bit of foliage that he took in a second to fucking register. I was about to be like, a little bit back in my head, I was like, you fucking hack.

What are you talking about? Oh, shit. What kind of hack would say that, Joe? You know what the trashiest was? Close-up. You ever have close-up? I don't remember it. Cinnamon toothpaste, it's red.

It's real shitty. I don't think there's, I think it's just sugar. I've never even heard of that, dude. That's trashes below my pay grade for sure. I don't think that Darnell carried close-up. That wasn't the key to anything. Darnell, get the fuck out of here

with that goddamn cinnamon toothpaste. Who the fuck is Tom? What the hell do you want? That reminds me of communism. Get it out of here. Oh man. All right, I got one more and it's a very common one on the show.

So you said you grew up in a single-family home. Did you have a garage in that house? No, but my dad has a shop now that he built over my basketball court growing up. So growing up, was there anywhere, did you have one fridge or two fridges in the house? Was there one in the basement? Or was there one in the basement?

One in the basement. What was in that basement fridge, Mr. Morgan? When I was real young, it was my dad's beer. And there was a freezer beside it full of meat. Now- You had a separate freezer as well as the- Yeah, for the deer. For the deer and the turkey, my dad would kill.

That ain't too shabby. I don't know what replaced the beer in the fridge. I think we mostly use the basement freezer when he stopped drinking. You know? That ain't bad. That is pretty fuck-y. I don't think we've had that answer.

A full-size fridge and the freezer? I don't think we've ever had that. I think that's a rural thing, because, again, going back to Darnales, Darnales was a 25-minute drive, you know? Oh, you're gonna ask that. Like, how far away was it? That's the kind of go-in there.

Like, you know, the deep freezer was, it was trash, but it was also like, look, we're only shopping once a month, you know? I don't even think that's trash. That's, it's functional. That's the thing. All right, I'm pretty classy. If you've got extra freezer and extra fridge money lying around.

Woo! Hey, man, unions. I'm telling you, the fucking bell. Yeah. Goddamn country. I just got two more questions I just want to know. Both kind of in the same genre. One, have you ever worn anything that was made of turquoise?

The stone? Yes. Is that trashy? Because it's my wife's favorite jewelry. But no, I haven't. I don't know if that's trash. I don't know if it depends. I may be over if there's a lot of turquoise.

I feel like I get a little bit of trash points because I was like, do you mean the stone or the color? My man lost couch was, of course. All right. That's setting that aside. Have you ever had a belt that had your name on it? I have many have had many, but I'm about to give you the answer that I know no one can top on your podcast now and for the future.

This is my challenge to future trash people. A garbage, excuse me, garbage people. I have a belt right now that has my tour name on it. Well read or it says well read that my brother made in prison. Jesus Christ. And now fucking love it comes full circle. That is fucking awesome. I was going to say that's like new money trash.

But then your brother making it in prison was a fucking curveball. I didn't see coming. Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. That's pretty bad ass. I'm going to give you that. Thank you. What's your what's your verdict on this guy here?

What are you thinking? All right. This is this one is a fucking this is a tough this is a tough call. I got to be honest with you. Right. Hold on. Can I tell you two stories that that that all right. These are quick.

Yeah, I don't know. I know you guys I know you guys signed a contract recently. Good congrats. I don't know. We got to do an hour on the nose. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're doing a respectful guess. All right, cool.

Yeah, I'm drunk. Let's be here all day. All right, first of all, let me say for the listeners, here's what happened with my brother. My brother was an addict. This is sad, but I'm just going to get through it because I feel like everyone's like, what the fuck? And it's there's parts of it that's trashy.

A guy that one of my aunt, St. Patty, who's ended up getting out of the game of selling coke to Hell's Angels and became a paralegal. She was married to the dude, my brother murdered, but years ago. That's how small my town is. He turns out later in life is a pedophile and a predator in general. My brother's a bad, bad addict and was essentially

sucking his dick for drugs. And that guy had that guy. Yeah. And the guy had become like a drug counselor type dude. So he was like signing off. He kept my brother employed. Like he was doing a lot for my brother, but he was blackmailing him.

And eventually that ended in death for him. And the reason I said it was like a John Grishman novel written by Juggalos is that all happened a month before I graduated law school. That very guy back when he was a partier and my dad was a partier in our small town, kept my dad from killing a dude one night. So it's like all this weird.

Anyway, I'm not trying to. I just feel like a lot of people were like, what the fuck? He just said his brother was a. He killed a dude who was shitty to him. He deserved to go to prison, but not forever. And he didn't go forever. And whatever, it sucks. I promise the next two stories are way fun.

Sure. No, I wanted to know. Was this to help your case? What were we doing here? What was that? That was I said at the top of your podcast that my brother's in prison for murder and I wanted because I love him to people to know that like I'm not

saying we should throw him a parade, but I do feel like the kids in my neighborhood should high five him. You know what I mean? Like I got that vibe from from from just how you said it that he that he killed a pedophile. OK, OK, my bad. All right, I'm sorry.

You can cut all that out if you want. You're not talking to me. It's going to the highlight reel. These two quick stories, one will make a case for me being trash and one are going to make the case. I love that closing, closing arguments. All right. The reason my hair is a fucking lawyer,

that's why he's doing it. Exactly. Now, I'm not going to keep this from Tennessee. I cut my hair myself. This isn't something I would ask for, but I'm not upset about it because everything's closed down right now. I shaved my head week three of quarantine

after taking my dog's pain pills and going full Britney Spears and shaving my head. There's my trash. Your dog's pain pills? Well, it's not like he wasn't. He didn't need them anymore. But they have them on. I don't remember, honestly.

It was a situation where we were bored. We were looking through our medicine cabinet for something to do at quarantine. And I was like, what's the difference between dog pain pills and human pain pills? And I looked it up pretty much nothing. About $40. That's what I'm going to tell you that.

So I did them and then shaved my head. I want full Britney Spears, who's from Louisiana. So that's the most white trash thing I've done during quarantine is shave my head while on pills. My own dog pills? Yeah, you got to get that in there. And then here's the other one. I got to meet Nelson Mandela when

I was studying abroad in South Africa. His grandson was in my dorm or whatever, which is very different. Your dorm is different. It's a big deal. It's almost like being in a frat. Like you have to go to regular meetings together and stuff. So I got invited to the farm.

I met Mandela. It was crazy. I heard him speak in English and his native language. It was super humbling. They did a big thing of me in the paperback in my college, like all that stuff. But. Trader visits Nelson Mandela.

Drew Morgan is not more welcome here anymore. What a fucking cool shit. What state are you from? Pennsylvania, a known bastion of non-racist. Anyway, he's from like upstate Pennsylvania, which is like pencil tucky, like because it's like that. That's how bullshit the whole situation. Don't get me started on this.

It's like, no, Pennsylvania is just racist. You don't have to call it the South. You fucking assholes. There's people in Pennsylvania that are wildly mountain garbage, garbage. All right, I want you guys to vote based on everything and those two stories. And then I'm going to add one caveat and then we'll be done.

If you want to be done, it's your fucking podcast. Jesus, I'm Trump. I'm telling you when your podcast ends. I think you can't. I think it's tough, man. I mean, this guy is fucking. And one breath, he's telling me he uses Tom Stark on the next breath. He's saying he does dog tranquilizers.

I don't know who to believe here. Up is down, down is up. What the fuck's happening? Fucking Tyler Durden over here. Yeah. So I'm going to say you're no, you're trash. You grew up garbage, you pure trash. I think you're trying to break those, break that,

break the chains from the garbage a little bit, but it's still in you through and through. Regardless of how successful you get LA, you can't polish up a third, you know what I mean? It's still in, it's still in your heart. You still got a garbage heart, which I respect, but you got to let, you got a couple of bucks now that you can, you can afford some nicer thing.

So that's my reform, semi-reformed on the road to reform, I should say. I'm going to say this. Okay. This was one of the most interesting conversations that we've had on this show, hands down. Like Kevin said, you've done a lot fucking, you know, South Africa, Boston college,

everything you're doing, brother in the joint, your law degree. Yeah. Then you got that. Listen, I'm going to tell you straight out, you're fucking garbage. 100%. There's no way that ain't going to change. I want to, I want to say you're not, but there's too much.

All right. Here's why you're right at Nelson Mandela. I never had a dog. Yeah. I was the guy who killed the guy the whole time. At Nelson Mandela's compound where we were staying, it was like he had his house and we were off to a side house when I got to meet him and all that. I stole a towel because it had Nelson Mandela's initials on it.

Oh, the towel from Nelson Mandela? Actually, that's like probably like a federal crime. You're going to hell, I'll tell you. Frank Caller dumped the feed. Dumped the feed. Jesus. And here's the big question. OK, OK, I felt guilty because of the reason,

because I'm like, what the fuck? In my head, I was like, these are in, he had a compound. These are in every house. It's like still in a hotel towel. And this guy's initials on it and I want it, you know? And I took it, put it in my bag. I put it back, quote unquote, but like, it's just like we were leaving and Gil overcame me and then I just like took it

out of my bag and like dropped it behind a book. Just like the most like, just put this here. It's fine. Move you can do. I'm trash. I'm fucking trash, boy. Scar. Bye.

You know what that guy had to go through to get that monogram towel? Yeah. It wasn't easy, I'll tell you that. And some fucking hillbilly from East Tennessee comes and clips it. Nice enough to invite you in his house and your fucking lift and shit. I was going to say that you had to return it because Nelson Mandela called you up and busted you. No, he would never call me.

That's so funny, dude. Holy shit. Well, yeah, you're garbage, but I think you're on. I think you're I think you're going to end. You'll die less garbage than you started. I'll go with that. I don't know where on the scale that will be or when it will be. But you're you've pulled yourself from the from the bottom of the dumpster

to the top, true. But if you ever get invited to President Kanye West's inauguration or anything like that, don't steal anything. I definitely will. He's just he's got an album coming out, right? That's what that's what's happening. Hey, can I ask y'all a question? Of course.

Do you remember when we met? We do. I think I was thinking about that. I was driving back to New York this morning. All right. So I'm going to I'm going to be a little what do we call it? Vulnerable here or whatever. Sure.

When I met these guys, these guys were this may not be true. But in my mind, y'all were in control of a room I wanted to get booked at. Mm hmm. And my friends introduced me to you guys and you guys were busted. My friends balls. But my friends weren't. I forget who it was. But Jesky was there.

And I think Cuscarelli. And I think you were going harder at Cuscarelli. And the reason I think that is he's the easiest person to go hard at in the whole world. And they weren't standing up for themselves. Mm hmm. And I had just moved to New York, but I was an older comic than those guys. You know what I mean? Yeah.

So I was like, I need to come from a family of hardened criminals, apparently. The fucking who's not taking shit. I know we're looking at the block. I'm going to let this big four headed bald motherfucker talk shit on my friend. So I started shitting on you guys immediately and and I'm not going to lie. Like I was crushing it. Whatever you guys felt about it. I was doing pretty good.

I like it right away. But like my thought process was like, A, my friends are standing up for themselves and B, oh, they're like too young in the comedy world to know this is what we do. But you guys sold so hard. Like you guys responded was like, who the fuck is this motherfucker? And I said, who the fuck's the new guy? I remember saying that you guys sold it so well. And I would I would never have told you guys this until you asked me to be a guest

on your podcast. Like I remember like for a few days, like texting my friends like, I'm never getting fucking booked there. Am I like they hate me. Like I fended the fuck out of these guys. Just move. This is me yet again. What's the trash thing?

It's the trash thing. Like yet again, I moved to a new city. I'm meeting new people and I just fucking ruin it. Walk in and insult somebody while they're eating breakfast in their own fucking house. That's a very mean move as well. But I think if I had to guess, I we were I responded that way because it was like one, I didn't even I don't even think I had said hi to you. I feel like I got jabbed in the face.

Like I was a boxer and I was like, oh, I don't know what's going on. So I was just like your credit. No, no, you sold it. Your bit became who the fuck do you think you are? You little shit or whatever. That was like what y'all were. And anyway, I just was curious if y'all remember that. I do remember.

Yeah, Drew showed up and tried to fight everybody. Hey, what's up, I'm Drew from East Tennessee. I'm here to fuck shit up. Long story short, that's fucking what happened. And I'm not friends with those guys anymore because they took it. And I can't be around postage. I love it. Drew Morgan, ladies and gentlemen, he's got a he's got a special coming out

very soon called Greatest Hits. You can find that on his website. You can just follow me on social media, Drew Morgan comedy, Instagram, Twitter, wherever else. I drew Morgan on Facebook, if you know, you're 58 years old. We're big demographic, buddy. That was absolutely fantastic. We we appreciate it.

Kippy, what do you got? Guys, again, thanks so much for all the support, getting us into the charts and everybody sharing it and all the feedback has been fucking awesome. We appreciate it. Everybody that heard us on Legion of Skanks and then came over to hang with us. We really appreciate it. If you haven't already, please make sure you rate you subscribe on iTunes and the full video is available on YouTube.

You can subscribe there as well. And I am at Kevin Ryan comedy on all social media. Very nice. Yeah, I want to reiterate that. Shout out to all the skanks out there, everybody that supported this when we were on the show. We really, really, really appreciate it. We're so happy to be a cast digital.

And we love you guys at H Foley on Ice, Folder Graham's on Instagram. Drew Morgan, this was an absolutely fantastic episode. Yeah, man. Thank you, buddy. And you be safe out there. OK. Thank you guys so much. This was so much fun. Thanks, buddy.