Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Drive Thru Etiquette! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Episode Date: August 27, 2026Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come t...o a live show! NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Blueprint: For a limited time only, new customers get 20% off + free shipping at https://blueprint.bryanjohnson.com by using code GARBAGE at checkout. Chubbies: For a limited time, Chubbies is giving our viewers $20 off your full price purchase with our code GARBAGE at https://chubbiesshorts.com. Pestie: Protect your home from summer bugs. Go to https://pestie.com/AYG for 10% off your order. Promo Code: AYG Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hear ye, hear ye, all army of garbage.
Our brand new tour, the Army of Garbage Tour, will be on sale this Friday.
Do yourself a favor.
Grab your squad, grab your tickets, and come on out, join the squad.
Yeah, we're going to be in Appleton, Wisconsin, San Jose, San Diego, Atlanta, Springfield, Missouri, Fort Wayne, Indiana.
We're going to be in Connecticut, Phoenix, Arizona, Chicago, Cincinnati, Columbus, Providence,
all tickets available at noon local time on RUGarbage.
Come, do it.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your
favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is R.U. Garbage.
Hey, yeah.
It's that little show.
We sit down with your favorite.
favorite comedians.
Damn.
Nope.
Keep it.
And we find that if they grew up to be classy.
Uh-huh.
Just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host, Tate's fully coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here.
Tootie's in a new addition.
She's looking for a goddamn Starbucks order.
A peal behind the fourth wall.
The team is in shambles right now.
The Demba's on a mountain bike currently screwing us.
What's his name?
Demba.
Demba from the South Sudan or whatever.
I don't know where he's from.
It ain't yonkers.
I know that.
Mako's coming at you from across the table.
Sharp is attacked this morning, despite not having any breakfast.
He is the CEO of,
You Garbage, international businessman of sorts.
Can't get a couple egg bites delivered from downtown.
I'll tell you that.
Give it up for KJ.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
Hey, what's up, gang?
Shout out to you.
As always, thanks for tuning in.
Please make sure your rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
Full video available over there.
on Spotify.
The boys are on Spotify.
Yes.
We are.
That is a factual statement.
We are upholding our end of the contract.
Is that a hold up in court right there?
We're on there.
You might not be fucking watching.
We're in the goddamn charts over there.
Top comedy.
Top all podcasts in the world.
You can't not say it.
That's the world, right?
It's not just the United States.
Is Spotify an international company?
It is, but no, not really.
What do they listen to over there?
Limerbeens.com or?
something over there.
I want to take that one from the top.
My coast's coming over.
Guys, big, big news.
Kippy's going rogue.
American trash.
Oh, you idiot.
It's American garbage.
American garbage.
I was talking to the boys over in marketing.
They like trash.
Me?
What are you talking about?
That's me and Luke.
The shark.
American garbage.
Our YouTube special, it's all
A-Y-G from our shows in Tampa.
It's fan fricking fantastic.
Shout out to Connor and old crew to work on it.
Mikey, Justin, everybody, Johnny Boy.
It's going to be available September 13th on our YouTube channel.
If you're an audio listener, if you listen over there on Spotify, subscribe to the YouTube
channel, the boys need to, we need your help to blow this to freak up.
You've been there for us before.
We're asking to do it again, baby.
Let's fucking go.
Call on the Army a garbage.
Let's tell these Hollywood pussies who's boss, you know what I mean?
They said no.
I said, hello.
They said, who are you?
Take that, Eric Roberts.
That's a big deal.
Take that Felicity Hoffman.
Bounce a quarter off that thing.
No, guys.
I like her.
It's some of us.
We're very proud of it.
We put a lot of money into it.
We do this shit all for fucking you guys.
Thank you so much for all the support you've shown us.
And we trust that you're going to launch this into the stratosphere.
Fully can stop working.
day job you know what i'm doing for the pussy uh what about you guys nothing on that
steve irwin Jesus Christ Steve irwin look at him he looks like he's about to pull a lemur out of his
pocket jack andy I had a question for you before we get to the cues as you know folks this is a
family episode just the boys the bozos the homies reading your questions from the patron from
from kevin james ryan this computer this question's gonna stink by the way yeah it is
I had a situation last week.
Had a hankering for a chocolate malt.
Are you familiar with these?
Are you too young for a, you're a malt guy, right?
Head like that.
No, me and my best dame didn't go out of the malt shop.
She walked that on you.
You're toothless hillbilly.
Hey, this is how you look.
I'm very self-conscious about my teeth.
I'm getting veneers.
I would be, too.
I'm getting veneers.
So fuck you.
You're not.
Yes, I am.
You don't have any money.
So, I'll work a deal.
It takes someone else's retrofit.
Get a dead guy's.
Why can't you do that?
Like, I know they have...
I'm sure you can.
As an organ donor, why can't you be an organ salesman?
Why can't I sell off parts of me when I die?
I should be able to do that.
We're giving these organs.
organs away for free.
They just take this shit.
Who wants whatever you, who wants anything you got?
Well, maybe not me personally.
But me?
A couple of peptides, a little TRT therapy.
Do it some milk thistle, clean me out.
You just get chocolate.
It'd be good as new.
Then you just get a hanker for chocolate malt?
I'd never got it.
Because they stopped selling it at steak and shake.
You didn't have your time machine?
Oh, that's a very popular item.
Maltz are very good.
I remember a gym restaurant used to have malt powder, and I'd make ice cream with it.
I'd have ice cream.
And then I'd put malt powder and stir it around.
What I don't, can you give me a wopper?
You know what a whopper is?
The wopper candy?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a malt flavor.
I got you.
I'm just asking for a proper, what just, you know,
get a definition for the, for, you know,
we got a young, hip listeners.
They might not do you know your old-timey.
What's a malt, Luke?
Traditional chocolate milkshake blended with a spoonful of malted milk powder
for a deeper retro diner taste.
Yes.
Retro diner.
Yeah, that's big now.
90s are in.
Mm-hmm.
I got the faded jeans.
Rock's coming back in a big fucking way.
His hip-hop's done.
Okay.
Drake hit the top of it.
Drake hit his head on the ceiling with the Ice Man and Abita, Abada.
What's it called?
Habibi, which is how you say, I love you in something, right?
It ain't.
English and it hits American garbage on YouTube.
That's right, baby.
But we pulled in, okay, looked at the menu, realized I didn't do more.
Malts no more.
Pulled out of the drive-thru.
Oh.
Yeah, I thought that'd catch your attention.
How did you?
Okay.
How did you feel about it?
You didn't like it.
You're in.
It's such a bad look pulling out of a drive-thru.
What did you say?
I didn't say shit.
Well, what is it?
What are you?
You pulled up to the thing and they said, hey, welcome to steak.
And we were like, chalk a malt.
You don't have that anymore.
Oh, you want chocamolks because you don't have any teeth to chew your food.
To chew our tender steak.
Obviously, you want a chocolate malt, sir.
Can I get that garlic burger smoothie?
If I'm doing that, just fucking take me out, shoot me.
If they got to blend my stuff.
I don't want that.
That's the line?
Yeah.
Which I don't taste it first.
It's pretty good.
Keep me around.
Yeah, they did that at my grandmother's nursing home.
Yeah, nursing homes make sense.
It was brutal.
I remember this guy sneezing up a whole bunch of scrambled eggs.
I was about to whip in that.
I mean, everybody's done that.
You catch a hangar back there.
Could have an eggs Benedict for like two weeks.
Yeah, we're like, okay, thank you.
And pulled right out.
So you say, I'll do a chocolate malt.
Did you order or you saw they weren't on the menu?
Because if you see they're not on the menu, you're not going to go, oh, you're still going to go, hey, can I get a chocolate?
You guys have the chocolate malt.
And they were like, yeah, we don't do that anymore.
But they saw it a chocolate milkshake.
Yeah, but it's not a chocolate mall.
I wasn't going to waste the calories on a regular chocolate milkshake.
I wanted a chocolate malt.
I'm very definitive about what I eat now, what I put into my body.
I don't like that you try to spin that in like a healthy way.
Yeah, when you're talking about chocolate malt milk versus chocolate milkshakes at a fast food drive-thru.
I lost weight.
I didn't stop being a dirtball.
Okay.
Yeah, no, listen, I don't like it.
Bad.
It's very unbecoming of a guy of your stature.
Sure.
Would they run out of fries, fat ass?
Yeah, you just got to stay in it.
It's a bad luck.
Okay, no worries.
I'll just do a diet cook.
It was for my grandmother or something like that.
She's dead.
She doesn't have her teeth.
She's doubled it down on the teeth.
What are they extra band today?
No, you brought it.
Okay.
Now you saw them.
They're not extra good.
I've been working on my smile and regular pictures, too.
I've seen it.
Yeah.
What do you think?
Sometimes it looks crazy.
Sometimes you have bitter beer face.
You suck it in too much or something.
I don't know what you're doing.
I've been trying to do it.
You turn into a weird version of your dad and it's too, it's too much.
ready you gotta open you can't no I can't open you can't go I got no teeth
fucker can't open
you can't tell you it's too per no that's too bad that's why is that bad
I'm gonna trust me I'm gonna tell you I just said it looks like you have bitter
Tommy egghead
Very oval head
You wear that aren't most heads
No um
Luke fact check that oval yeah your head's very oval aren't most heads oval aren't most heads oval I mean they're not
Your yours is very oval.
Stupid looking at too.
I'm just trying to hurt you.
I'm sorry.
See, I struck a nerve under your dead tooth.
I got a bad one in the back.
He's killing a couple bad ones on front.
Those are the pawns.
You can take to him any day.
Keep the king and the queen in the back.
It's bad.
I can get a whole mental.
stuck between my tooth, which is bad.
Is that a party trick you're doing out there?
I sure have got it.
Everybody want to bet me five bucks I can do it.
I swear to go.
Those airhead bites get stuck in the gap in my tooth in the back.
I'm really conscious of what put it in your body, huh?
I got in my candy.
Yeah, I listen.
Part of recovery.
I don't think you should.
Yeah, I think you should.
Tough look.
Yeah, it's bad, man.
It's always a shitty car, too.
Yeah, no shit.
Not that I was a nice car.
You know to see you in a Kia.
Someone said Kia Fortes are the new Nissan Ultima's on the road,
and they couldn't be more wrong.
And I had one.
Couldn't be more wrong.
Couldn't be more right.
I'm sorry.
I remember?
I mean, there's the stereotype that the Nissan Ultimas are always driving like dickheads.
They think they're race cars because they are not.
My brother had one.
And we thought that was.
They ruined Nissan.
We thought that was the fastest, coolest.
They had a little bit of giddy up, I guess.
Remember the maxima?
Those things were pop.
I didn't like maxima.
Paddy's drove a maxima.
It was always broads had, though.
She had a white maxima.
She had a white maxima.
That's crazy.
Yeah, with fucking catchers mitt interiors.
Nice.
You're a dirtbag.
Catchers mitt interior.
It's nice.
Light leather.
It's nice.
Caves leather, cream.
Probably slipping and sliding all over that.
What are you working at a fucking used car dealership now?
Maybe.
Why are you trying to get in some?
guy your stature
I've been thinking about a part-time gig
I think it would be smart for you
yeah guy in your financial situation
giving back you know
like grocery store
I bet you get back some of the money you borrowed
you son of a bitch
that's a bridge loan
that bridge is a close
I'm about to jump off
I don't think
yeah I mean
listen I think if you pull out
of there, if you pull out, just
with the guy behind you and front and the next to you,
it thinks you don't have the money. And as somebody
who never had money and my card
would get to, I'm very self-conscious
of, I would spend the money I didn't
have to make it look like I don't have money. That's why
I've always been able to. Maybe burgers for everybody behind me.
Yeah, something like that, you know.
So, yeah, it's just
I would just say, order something. You're there.
I would grab a whopper, you know.
What do they have? What do you get? Stake and shake?
I've never been. Oh, they're good.
Never been on steak and shake?
They don't have them out here.
No.
I don't spend a lot of time in wherever you are.
In the Midwest, great Midwest.
Ohio State.
By the way, speaking of Penn State.
Ooh, a little scandal over there.
Yeah, you know those dudes.
Be Valley.
Those are my boys.
Those are your boys.
Trained them up.
Little soldiers.
Happy Valley.
A little something else in the ice cream out there, huh?
A little dippity old.
Boys like to party.
What's wrong with that?
Yeah, I don't get it.
There was like a 50-year-old in that lineup, too.
Yeah, one of the kids' dads.
No way!
man.
I'd probably get my old man have a catch with me,
let alone fucking move weight.
Catchers mitt stuff.
Fuck.
Jesus Christ.
See what happens when you don't get his Starbucks?
I know.
Any my venty.
Prima Madonna.
Yeah, well, he got him like a, I mean, this isn't the show we do, but he got him
like a safe or something like that.
That's it?
He, like, hid the money or something.
He helped him hide money and drugs or something like that.
Oh, what the fuck?
Yeah.
Bullshit.
I had a buddy that happened.
He got raw.
He was moving, you know, he's doing quite well at a young age.
And he got...
Gonna be Sleepy Valley now, huh?
Because he retired.
He said a Happy Valley, Sleepy Valley.
I'm tired.
Because they don't have any blow.
Uh-huh.
I can spell it out for you?
What, joke?
Yeah, please.
Not my style.
He went to his dad and was like, listen, I have...
It was kind of like, you know, he was just like, I have...
Hooses now?
What are you?
What are you wearing a wire?
The fuck?
I remember you telling me that.
Yeah, he had like a bunch of money and was just like,
Dad, he got robbed.
They tried to, it was like a dangerous.
He got put in a very dangerous situation.
Yeah.
And I was like, I can't do this.
So he went to his dad and was like, what do I do?
And his dad was like, I'll handle it.
Don't tell your mother.
Don't tell your mother.
Take the trash out.
Shell Corporation.
Get rid of these bodies.
But listen, all that is neither here nor there.
I got a gosh darned-dorn family episode.
on my hands on our hands over here um as you know when you join the old patreon we will answer
your garbage question that's american garbage gang yes sir on our youtube subscribe now
share with a friend who who gets a credit for that name is that you i think it was i think i don't
know who was it mine was penny whistle what's that that's what i wanted to name that's what's what
you call your p p penny whistle epa penny um is that right luke
I believe it was
It was like kind of me and Kippy
I think we were throwing around
Whoa
Whoa
Just saying
Louis V looking for the feature
Anybody here in this
See
Comfort of King
You best not miss
What is Luke
Are you a producer on that?
Uh
Yeah
I don't know
What am I?
Are you there?
Uh
Performed and written by
I won't even write it
It's all improvised
Sure. Performed an improvised by.
Yeah, performed by.
DXL getting a shout out?
I don't know.
We're not covering your midsection in a couple of those angles.
I'm a bitch.
I was right there.
So you brought the wrong shirt.
That's why you stink.
Yeah.
You just stink.
Yeah, I stink.
Just don't get that chocolate malt either.
I was like a two weeks ago.
So where'd you go?
Did you go somewhere else to get chocolate malt?
No, it was kind of done.
I had some candy for Marshall, so.
You're eating Marshall's candy.
They're all right.
No, they're not.
They're there for a fucking reason, guys.
They're the Albany's gummy bears, which I'm switching over to now.
Albany's.
Albany's.
What's that?
It's the competitor to Haribo.
No, Black Forest is.
Oh, Albany's.
Take it easy, Gretel.
Yeah, you know.
They're like the white and red.
Yeah, you know Albany's.
They're chewier, more flavorful.
Oh, get out of here.
I like the butterflies.
You.
Who do you think you are?
Who do you eat and fucking this hoity tooty candy?
You're buying them a discount because it's contaminated
and the FDA didn't pass it for regular people.
That's okay.
I don't mind something's been on a cargo ship for a couple of weeks.
Hmm.
I never knew the name of that.
I would never buy those.
Are they like gluten-free or something?
No.
They feel...
What am I?
The packaging feels too...
Yeah.
The packaging feels too...
I like fancy
They also do that Harry and David popcorn
at Marshalls
They don't do it there
They get it because it's like
It's got a long shelf life
Yeah
A couple of cheeses
Those alvenies
I'm like whoever buys those
Makes no sense to me
What are you talking about?
They're always at like hardware stores and stuff
They're dusty
They're always dusty
You got to film on them
I hit them with the power washer dog
I hate dusty candy
I feel so on the bottom shelf
Oh you feel dirty
dirty eating it already because you're eating can i got candy at staples you practice at a race track yeah you
feel like a fat ass and then all it's dusty it's like you fucking found it a bunker it sucks i hate it
right next to hitler's body yeah i hate that shit he's reaching for his stickers mm-hmm all right
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Okay.
As you know, when you answer your garbage question.
When you join the Patreon, we will answer your garbage question.
Over 16,000 strong over there on a fucking Patreon.
That is an all-time high, baby.
All right, let's see.
This one is from Tiffany.
Is it garbage to dry your car off after washing it with a leaf blower?
That's goddamn genius to me
I never thought that
Is it garbage to dry your car off
After you wash it with a leaf blower
No
And I also love a leaf blower
Just in general
When you're doing
If you're doing the driveway
Hit the fucking car
Oh just on top
Get the little pollen off there
It zips it up a little bit
Yeah
Yeah
A pollen can be a
You got a leaf blower at the house
Yeah
You do
Uh huh
Huh
That would have been a great gift for you.
A great birthday gift for you.
Handle?
Well, how?
You got a backpack?
Why not?
My brother's got a backpack.
He's got a steel.
Sick?
You got a backpack?
Yeah.
Do you live in a townhouse?
No.
You got a place?
These bugs are still everywhere.
I know.
Just drank on.
Mm.
Yeah, no.
I got like a standard easy guy, like a Riyobi or something.
Ryobi.
Something like that.
I don't.
I miss a leaf blow.
I don't need it, really.
Yeah, me neither.
I got guys to come and take care of my shit.
I know.
It's nice to have it, but he's fucking...
That's why I like having it, yeah.
You hit the car with it.
I never thought about...
Do the inside of the car, too.
They say, they say that instead of doing...
You know what I did?
Open the doors and blast it out.
I did the fucking...
I got the shop back out, and I did the car to get all fucking Hans's hair.
That you feel real, real accomplice.
There's a lot of hair.
Is that gotten a little Kipparino-a-fied yet, the backseat of that car?
Oh, I've lost the bat.
The only thing that's still relatively cool in the Tahoe is the driver's seat and the front seat.
Does it smell like bad milk in the car?
Because I remember my cousin Paul when the kids were little.
Not really.
Honda Odyssey smelled like bad milk.
Bad milk and like old Cheerios.
Honda Odyssey.
That's what he whipped around in back in the day.
Middle-aged Asian man?
No, it was a nice car.
I don't know.
He's Irish.
Just like me.
Okay.
Cousin related.
By blood.
Uh-huh.
It's actually not blood.
Okay.
But we're cousin.
More like brothers.
Shout out to him.
Okay.
You're all done with your...
Yeah, we're not a family.
I'm making...
It's actually the guy who works...
It's the guy who works at the car wash.
They don't put son and on grad up back on Krypton.
You know what I mean?
Um...
Yeah, no, it's bad.
It's...
You lose it.
You just lose it.
You just...
I don't have the time to stay on top of it
It's one of those things
You're like I gotta get to that
You're always fucking dude
There's trash and then my wife's back there
You know
And she's fucking she's leaving trash
She's like the back seats a mess
I go yeah it's that's your
That's your domicor
Sure I eat in the car
I get a sizzle
I got Wawa egg bites I got my coffees
I'm doing my got a candy from every now and then
There's nothing better
But you put it in the bag and you take it out with
No I like I like if I
Okay let's say I pull into a Wawa
I'm loading up
I got a couple hours drive just crushing something and just throw it in a fucking backseat.
It's such a feeling of freedom.
Just fucking gone.
And then, you know, a couple weeks later, stacks up and you get it.
I love that.
You got a wife and kid back there, so you can't be throwing bottles back there.
I do.
I mean, like, yeah, I don't.
I've lived like that for sure.
Trust me.
I definitely will, I have and will do that.
But yeah, you just, there's something.
I like, I guess it's the, as I become more of a man, I like the, I gather it and I like throwing it out.
I always watch my dad, you know, it's like you get in trash back there.
You got your trash?
Give me your trash.
What's that right there?
I start yelling at my wife and stuff like that.
Yeah, that was never, that's one thing.
Our cars were always that you couldn't fucking have shit back there.
You could fucking scream that.
As you were older, I think younger is.
Like now it's like.
Yeah, kids got
But no, I mean, even as a kid
We weren't allowed to like
Just fucking leave shit in the car
No
Fast food
You lose a fry
Oh it's also I would say
We've talked about this
The littering back then
You could just fucking hawk it out the window
Not that that's right obviously
But that was a different time
Shout out to Ronald Reagan
Huh?
Just fucking opened it up
The sound of McDonald's bag made
As it fucking
Launched onto 232
Uh
Styrofo
foaming shit.
Yeah, it's crazy.
Jesus Christ.
What the fuck were we doing?
Yeah, I don't know.
It's just, yeah, wild, wild times.
All right, let's see here.
This one's from Kip Pizza,
20, never had one read.
Is it garbage on a vacuum sealer for food?
I think I might want one.
Hmm.
We had one.
My stepdad bought the ronka something.
Is that for his fish?
Yeah, his fish.
and then he would marinate.
He would like, I got, he, you didn't need to do it.
You could just use a plastic bag, but that was what they sold you on.
It pulls, it infuses.
It pulls the air out.
Nothing letting, you know, nowhere for that flavor to run.
Patty bought the ones for blankets and shit.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
You hooked a vacuum up to it.
She had that thing, man.
Puckin, she hooked a vacuum cleaner up to it, sucked it out, dropped everything down.
She put everything in there.
Yeah, I always, that stuff always, I was always fat.
fresh.
I was fascinated by,
I was fascinated by consumer product
QVC stuff
because you go,
yeah,
this, why,
well,
why isn't everybody doing that?
But then you got to buy
it for, you know,
$129 or whatever.
You know what I've seen the other day?
It might have been Tucci
or one of those guys.
They had the roller
with the fucking sandwich paper
on the counter.
Oh,
that's clear.
The butcher paper.
Yeah.
Butcher paper.
A little bit of twine, tie that up, tie up a nice sandwich.
Yeah.
We don't do that shit.
Because you're selling trash in your backseat and leaving a pile up for weeks.
You're not living a roll of butcher paper.
First of all, you don't have a kitchen.
No.
So let's strike one.
Baby steps.
That's something I can see your parents having a little fucking butcher paper.
You know what?
You know what?
The true mark of a trashy household is, and I'm struggling with it right now, and it's a point of pain for me.
The favorite towel thing stuck under the cabinets.
No, I like that.
Huh.
Is that trashy?
I don't think it's classy.
Right.
It's all about that vertical.
Yeah.
I got that.
The kids are using now.
But I feel anything fixed is nice.
I think the plastic one probably not.
I'm sure there's a classy version of it.
Yeah.
A gold, like the, you know, something like that.
But I got, dude, my drawer where we keep the sandwich bags, trash bags, aluminum foil,
Keep the trash bags in it?
No, I lied.
The trash bags are down below.
They're under the sink.
No, the trash bags are next to the trash thing.
Huh.
In a cabinet.
Mm-hmm.
And we'll keep them on the floor.
Yeah.
The cabinet, we have like the pull out.
Right.
And it's got the two Johns.
Uh-huh.
And next to that in another cabinet.
That's where we keep them.
You got saran wrap?
They're too big to fit in the drawer.
You got saran wrap?
Yeah.
Wax paper?
I'm sure.
Part of it.
I don't know what they use that for.
I think parchment paper we have.
That's the same thing?
Uh-uh.
No.
What the fuck does wax people?
Wax paper is for, like, baking, I think.
But it's not parchment.
I use the parchment paper for bacon, like, underneath my, I have, like, the grill on top of the oven sheet.
Yeah.
And then, yeah, I put that parchment paper underneath to catch the grease.
Really?
Yeah.
Then you just throw it.
And bake the bacon.
Baking bacon is the best way to do it.
I mean, we've talked about it.
You're doing bacon?
Yeah.
Man, you're a sharp kid for 27.
It's pretty good
You got a low fucking benchmark
He's a 28 year old kid using wax paper
Parchment paper
I don't know what that is
I probably got cheesecloth over there too
And he wasn't doing that when he's living with this girl
He wasn't doing that when he's fucking
He's microwaving and you know
You throw that in my face though
What?
You can't use wax paper in the oven
Because the wax paper will melt or catch fire
What is wax paper used for then?
It says
For cold tasks
like wrapping sandwiches, storing cheese,
or separating hamburger patties before freezing.
Oh, I could see that.
I don't one thing it's used for.
What?
Okay.
Cooking up.
Sweet.
Yeah, but I open the drawer and it's like, it's a fucky.
It doesn't close, right?
You got to, it's, it's bad.
That's the rain-wrap lid fucks you.
Then I end up ripping it off, and then the bag.
It's just like, you open a,
I just go, I don't have the skills to keep a drawer organized.
Those things are razor sharp, too.
The satserated edge?
That thing will fuck you up.
You know what my fucking wife bought?
I just saw it today, actually.
She goes, oh, Hammy, we were at the fucking doctor's office waiting.
The fucking little baby's going crazy.
He goes, oh, he's got snacks.
Hammy, he's got crunchies in the thing.
She's got the little fucking zip lock bangers, the little fucking...
Oh, the half-johns?
Yeah.
The little eighth bags.
I go, what the fuck are you spending all my blowing?
on my casualty thing?
Yeah, those things are nice.
That's crazy.
That was reserved for...
Kind bud.
For like rich kids.
Like you...
We, I mean, we said this, that.
We had the flip over.
But it was always, to me,
the thing that exemplified wealth
with the tiny little bags
was the portion control.
Of like, oh, you only get,
you only need...
There was not enough snacks.
You couldn't fit enough snacks
in that thing to soothe me.
But some Luke would sit there and go, oh, well, I have 30.
Apple slices.
Yeah, I have 32 goldfish.
Meanwhile, you know what I mean?
Where I'm like, I need the bag of goldfish.
Yeah.
That's where I go, these things are useless to me.
Put your perkins in there or something.
I remember when they had the yellow and the green and you can see the color go together so you know it was sealed.
Yeah.
Remember the commercial they would put the, they'd fill it with bees and hold it over the guy's head.
Get the fuck out of you.
I don't remember that.
To prove how I think it was.
And you would zip it and they go, do you change it?
trust the competitors,
and they had like a gallon bag
with like, I have 5,000 bees.
That seems irresponsible.
Not if you trust the seal, baby.
I know, but the bees.
They're dying.
Yeah, I mean, I don't think they didn't,
like, then smash them with a hammer or something.
I'm sure they didn't go back then.
They didn't have shit like that on set.
You know?
Yeah.
An actor?
Uh-huh.
The ad highlighted Gladlock's color-changing seal.
Mm-hmm.
you should be on board
me me foley yeah i'm on board
i sound like hurting bees no one said they're hurting bees
i don't know this is an odd choice odd stance that you're taking on a hypothetical
bee hurting 25 years ago self-sustainment
sure a litter bug like you somehow crammed in your acting
you're acting roll into it i've worked with bees
i have some of my best friends are bees
and a lot of them are out of work
Let's see here
All right
This one's from Cody
Yo $10 homie here
Did Jews go to school with anyone
Who everyone only knew by a nickname
We had a guy named Cheetos at my school
Jesus
Dude gave him that nickname
Then dropped out
No one ever got the reasoning behind it
Shout out to Cheetos
I had to have said this before
Shout out to Bobby Waples
Veteran
Iraqi freedom
nickname doozy
that's pretty good
great
dozy
I'm trying to think
I remember when he was over there
he sent a fucking video of
him them coming in in a chopper
until like a fucking field
he came didn't you
I was making up fucking
that I had a record label on MySpace at the time
you were the king
of faking it till you make it
and then you make it and throw it all the way
I don't get it.
Yeah, doozy.
That's a good one.
I'm trying to think.
We just had all nicknames.
I mean, we had Flip.
We had Vinny with the Skinny.
I guess we were.
The parents calling you by the nickname.
I mean, Flip is flipped to, like, Pat's dad.
Really?
Yeah, what I flip.
What would your mom call him?
Chris.
Huh.
Yeah.
But, like, we were hanging out with Pat.
I mean, Pat's, you know, that was like, we weren't spending
an extended time around my mom from house.
I don't know, you know, I think anytime a mom's calling a guy.
Most moms called me fully.
Yeah, that's normal.
Yeah.
I mean, you also go by H.
That'd be, that's like a tough.
I didn't go by H back then.
Okay.
I don't know.
I hadn't started my career yet.
Mm-hmm.
My acting career.
I was doing music.
Sure.
You've really dabbled in a lot of, you really struggled in a lot of art forms, having you?
What else?
What's next?
That's next?
Poetry.
Uh-huh.
But you, you've done?
Sure.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
You're a bit of a renaissance man.
Sure.
Call you a triple miss.
Get the no-got.
An e-got is when you win an Emmy, a Golden Globe, Oscar.
What ones do you have again?
On an Emmy nominate show?
I don't know if I get the statue.
I don't think so.
I make my own.
Guys, it's just an honor to be nominated.
Were you nominated?
No, not me personally, but one of my friends was.
Scarsdale Surprise!
That's funny.
Continue.
You are truly something else.
I stink.
Which I do love it.
Is your...
What?
Yeah, it goes back to your Johnny Drummond.
It is your unwavering...
Every chromosome in you tries to be cool.
Is it a laundry mat this morning?
That's what I'm saying if you just owned it.
I kind of look like 12 blocks.
That's good for you.
Sure.
Not the 12 blocks.
I'm loving it out there in Brooklyn, cousin Ian.
I think that's where I think it's really good for you.
Yeah.
You turn that corner, the neighborhood gets a lot nicer.
Well, why don't you get to Manhattan?
Why don't you cross that bridge?
It's all right.
Man, oh man.
He's like the king out there, dude.
Swear to God, we're at a coffee shop.
Been living out there for 35 years.
We're at a coffee shop.
We leave.
Lady comes out, runs across the street and goes...
Sir, you didn't pay your bill.
And goes, Dale wanted you to have these.
Dale wanted to give you this.
Fucking bag of pastry.
How are they?
I don't touch the stuff.
I was waiting on my Starbucks.
Mm-hmm.
Egg bites.
Egg white.
All right, let's see this one's from now fatter than Foley.
That hurts.
Why, that means you're losing weight.
It's still ugly kind of change.
Okay.
I respect a jab.
Don't get me wrong.
Fire away.
You making fun of my head shape earlier.
Oval.
Egg shaped.
Odd.
No, I feel it's bigger at the top.
Upside down egg I'll give you.
Yeah, upside down egg.
More of like upside down.
If your head was upside down, it looked like a pineapple.
I don't know if I...
Because of your chin.
But aren't pineapples, like, pretty uniform, no?
Not the ones I get.
Okay.
It's all upside down pineapples with this guy.
Uh-uh.
Freak shit.
You're the one that just brought up upside-down pineapple.
Because your head looks like it.
Is that you trying to swing with me, aren't you?
Yeah.
You creep.
All right, never, whatever.
Now fatter than Foley, never had one read.
Have you ever been the last one to chant something in a crowd?
Everybody does four chance, but you get a few stragglers that do five.
I always feel bad for those guys.
Yeah.
I'm not a good chant guy.
I'm always conscious.
I get in and I get out.
I go, I'm not going to be the guy that's clapping later.
I'm not going to be the guy that does, you know, heck no, we won't go.
I don't know.
I was what came to my mind.
What are the 1930s baseball game?
Yeah, drinking my chocolate mults.
Ooh, touche.
I don't know.
I've never confidently started an Eagles chant.
I don't want to be that guy on the news.
Mm-hmm.
The E, G, E, yeah.
Fucked it up.
No, I know.
That's what you don't want to be.
Yeah, the lady fucked it up.
Eggles.
Yeah.
E-A-G-L-E-S-E-E-G-E-E-S-E-E-G.
Yeah.
Yeah, I would never confidently start that.
I also don't like kicking it off with happy birthday.
I come in underneath.
More of a harmonizer.
Mm-hmm.
And get people going.
Work the crowd a little bit.
Work the rear showman.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm not fucking taking lead on a happy birthday.
No.
Everybody drags their feet.
It's like, let's go.
I was always shocked.
I'd go to like, when I worked at that big law firm,
we'd go in for everybody's birthday.
It was someone's birthday once a fucking week.
And you'd go in and like.
Get the cake.
Yeah, but people would like,
meaningful, meaningfully.
sing it to people and I'm just going, I don't have that in me.
Like the excitement of happy birthday.
And you're just like, I'm like, that's good.
I took a slice of cake, though, didn't it?
Nah, never.
Really?
Never.
What?
Never.
A store-bought cake?
Oh, man.
Moist is the day is long.
I just had one for my birthday.
You did?
Mm-hmm.
You had a cake.
Shee cake.
Wow.
I believe it was from Acamee.
Huh.
The Acmeecheekekekeke.
I don't think I've had a birthday cake in a couple years.
We took you out for your birthday and you ruined it.
Yeah.
But I don't think anybody's made me a cake in a while.
I mean, no one made me a cake.
I got a cake.
Hmm.
Yeah.
You know, you have to...
I got to rethink something of my behavior.
I think that's a pretty good thing.
I mean, I don't think I've had a birthday cake in a minute.
Yeah.
But Travis's wife usually makes us stuff.
Cookies.
Yeah.
Yeah.
God damn, they're good.
They're insane.
from them.
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Now back to the show.
When WestJet first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different.
People thought denim on denim was peak fashion.
Inline skates were everywhere.
And two out of three women rocked, the Rachel.
While those things stayed in the 90s,
one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board.
Here's to West Jetting since 96.
Travel back in time with three.
us and actually travel with us at
Westjet.com slash 30 years.
All right, listen.
But I digress.
Yes.
You should try to get a loving friends and family.
What kind of cake did you have?
It was just like standard, you know, vanilla cake with vanilla icing maybe.
Did they get it customized?
It said, Happy Birthday, Kevin.
They threw the 4-0 in.
Nice.
You can see the pictures on my Instagram.
Is that right?
Mm-hmm.
Wow.
They sung Happy Birthday to you?
sung happy birthday yeah had a little kipparino on my lap oh oh blew out the candles ice cold screaming
beers huh yeah good time loving family yeah you weren't it baby thanks i'm being serious i love you
thanks i'm not saying you're being serious but the fact that you have to say you're being serious
makes me think your intentions might not be genuine no i'm fucking serious man what don't stop
looking at me.
His motives are questionable.
No, I'm being serious.
Okay.
Was that at your house?
Uh, is that, yeah, down the shore.
Oh, okay.
That's cool.
Yeah, why?
I just pictured you being at your home.
Mm-hmm.
I have one of those.
I know, which would be...
I don't sleep in any in the basement.
I wish it would.
It's kind of lonely down there.
Bring over your whole family.
Well, more than merrier.
Yeah.
No, I, uh, yes, it was, it was a very nice.
It was the first time I, I really had that in a, I was the first time I had a happy birth,
probably, honestly, eight years.
Hmm.
Yeah, black sheep of the family for a while.
Yeah, I was.
Yeah.
Now I'm fucking.
You got him on your hip, you go, everybody, shut the fuck.
I took, I kicked my sister out of her room.
I took that room.
Really?
I said, you gotta go.
Low Kipparino.
You got to, this is the only room that fits a crib.
You got to hit the bricks.
lady nice yeah and I just I'll break it down I never probably go I should live that thing's in
that's in there I'm gonna break it down and put it back up and break it down he carried down a crib
yeah that seems like a lot of work is like a real crib like wood or whatever yeah I had to do it
last night too why it was in our room because nadine's family was here so we moved the crib into
our room and then I don't like doing that so they're gone so I had to break it down and move it
over no I got to be honest with you you're gonna go I'm
happy for you. You like it.
When it's your baby's crib?
One, yeah. I mean, you're stressed. No, but I was doing it.
And he came, I was, like, sitting down. He came over and sat on my lap, and we were, like,
doing the Allen wrench together. And, like, I literally, like, I started welling up.
I looked at an idiot. I'm like, this is the sickest fucking thing ever.
Aw.
And we're back.
Very happy for you.
I am happy for you.
Put these cameras in the back.
Yes.
All right. Let's see.
Let's see here.
This one's from B-O-P-O-T-9,000, B-P-P-O-T-N-B-P-P-T-B-P-T-Bah, I don't know.
Never have one read $10-spot balloon knot over here.
Ever tell an old injury story where you always hit them with?
You could see the bone.
Ooh.
That's big.
That's big.
I noticed that, too, that of just, like, telling stories over.
I've been hanging out with my family a lot this summer.
A bone was sticking out.
And like, when you hear a story that's been told, like a bunch who's telling to new people or whatever, you just go, oh, it's like, you're doing bits.
Yeah.
And he goes, that's your line.
You hit him with the whole bone was sticking.
The whole bone was sticking.
The bone went right to the bone.
See the ligaments right to the bone.
A mile high if he was a foot, I tell you, all that kind of shit.
There's a few things that I distinctly remember from high school.
One of them is what a compound fracture is.
Yeah.
The bone sticking out.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
That in cumulonimbus clouds.
I don't know why.
The different kinds of clouds.
Cuminoa Seris Stratus.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Also very trash.
We were talking about my mom, like stubbed her toe or whatever.
Oh, yeah.
She goes.
She broke her toe.
And then I guess somebody was like, did you go to the hospital?
I go, nah.
You can't do nothing for a broken toe.
Chas though she hit me.
Can't do nothing with a broken toe.
That can't be right.
I don't know.
Find out what the try.
I think, I mean.
Why is that?
She goes, I broke my toe three of a six.
the third time I broke my toe.
Yeah, what's the point of going to
the hospital? I can't do nothing. I're just going to wrap it.
I sit there for three hours.
They wrap it. I know what they're going to tell me.
Down here? At Lankanol?
Get your memorial?
I've been there.
Fuck. She's right.
Yeah.
Rest, ice, elevate, and then if it's
a smaller toe, you can buddy tape, which is
just taping it to the other toe.
Yeah. Which we did.
You can't do anything for a broken
toe. This is how far
we've gotten.
of medical technology?
What are you going to do?
I don't know.
Cast it up.
It could be one of those things.
Put a screw in.
But I don't think.
Pin it up.
The bone like, I think it just lives in there on its own.
It's like the nose.
Is it like where it's just like.
Broken nose you fix?
You reset though.
If it's displaced.
Otherwise it just, the bone heals on its own.
You ever break your nose?
Yeah, kind of.
My brother did.
It was horrible.
I got sucked.
You did?
Yeah.
I was running my, I beat a kid up, and I was running my mouth, and I turned my back.
And he fucking, he ran up.
That's fucked up.
He fucking suckered me.
Yeah.
What a dick.
You beat him up again?
I don't think so.
I think that friend's him.
Those is all bloody.
Yeah.
He fucking snuck me, though.
I was crying in the corner.
Are you talking about it?
No, I think we got broken up then.
Because we were my buddy's house.
And that's like I went home.
It was Thanksgiving night, or the night of before.
Nice.
Yeah.
Victory going on Thanksgiving dinner?
Yeah.
But then I wake up in my fucking eye.
It wasn't like cracked.
I think it was like pushed in.
It like got Reese.
I don't think he, I forget what it was.
They had to kind of, it's still tilted when you really look at it.
But that's what I told my dad.
My dad's like, he was a bit of a fighter.
And he was like, I told him the story.
He goes, what happened?
You got a fight?
And he was like, we didn't have to hide that we ever gotten fights.
And she was like, my brother-in-law remember me?
like I never
You guys like tell fight stories in front of your mom
I'm just like I don't know
It's just the people we come from
We're a violent
A violent clan of drugs from northeast Philadelphia
Um
But he's like
You let you beat up you hit you let it got him
I got reprimanded not for fighting
But for getting
Putting myself in a position to get sucker
Hmm
And I was like okay
You're supposed to knock I'm unconscious
Curbs though
You did a hog time
You didn't finish the job
What the fuck?
Shows you the throat move
Yeah
Roadhouse
Um
But yeah
I love a
I love a family store
Any story that's told a bunch
With those lines in it
Is great
Yeah
You know what I mean
See right to the bone
That like top of
You should have seen this
And he was top of the line
That I remember my cousin
We were drunk
At a house party
And he was telling me
And that he kept
saying making money hand over fist.
Make the money hand over fist.
Hey, dude, you never did that deal.
These guys were making money hand.
It was the 80.
Well, mine having that job.
Making money hand over fist.
Make a money hand over fist.
You know what else was one of the most deadliest things, which I think it is, but in my house.
Brown recluse.
Forget that wolf spider.
I always thought a black widow was going to get me.
That's how I thought I was going to die for most of my young life, that a black widow
spider would get me.
Those things.
rating me.
Fuck that Charlotte's web shit.
I didn't trust that motherfucker as far as I can throw her.
Uh-uh.
Um,
Black ice.
It's all black ice.
Yeah.
All 70s, it's all black ice.
Yeah, she, more dangerous.
Yeah, it's crazy.
I think I've ever seen Black Ice.
Oh, yeah.
No, you've seen it.
Have I?
Uh-huh.
For sure.
For sure.
I don't want to tell you.
I mean, you're 50 years old.
You lived in Philadelphia.
and fucking New York City.
You've stepped on blackout.
Have I?
Yeah.
Huh.
She's that hanging from the rear view, though.
I'll tell you that.
I got a car smell good.
Yeah, no, that's a...
Yeah, that in hydroplane and with wet leaves.
Wet leaves are more dangerous than black ice.
Got pumped the brakes.
Pumped the brakes.
Turn into the spin.
And it's never you hit a telephone pole.
It's always you wrap this car on a telephone pole.
No one...
No one my family knows has ever...
hit a telephone pole?
They wrapped it around
this goddamn car around a telephone pole.
Lucky's alive.
Yeah.
That's always that.
Wrapped it around a freaking telephone pole.
Geez.
Fucking insurance going to be through the roof.
Dude,
someone got pulled over.
We were all out on the deck
of the shore down the shore
having a couple of ice cold beers.
Someone got pulled over
right in front of the house.
You should have stood.
Like mauls do a flame.
Everyone comes.
What's going on?
The neighbors then pop.
What's happening?
Because I was out there.
I was the first guy on the scene.
Get him?
I go, I think he blew to stop.
Like, Jackie, running his plate.
Yeah, yeah, very, yeah.
Woot.
Lit him up, wrote him up.
No, wrote him up.
Wrote him up.
Didn't take him in?
Didn't take him in.
No, field sobriety?
Nah, it was like during the day.
You ever do a field sobriety test?
Mm-mm.
I don't think I ever have either.
No.
I've never really been, I've never been pulled over a lot.
Hmm.
Get this.
I'm coming up the fucking Jersey turnpike.
You know, it's four, it's 12 lanes.
So it's four three lane highways, two up, two down.
Two north, two south.
This guy, I'm in the middle lane.
I'm in quality turnpike, I must say.
Great turnpike.
They can move fucking cars.
Good rest stops.
Great.
You know what's a fucking game changer?
There's Jersey State Troopers look pretty sharp, too.
I'll tell you that.
Well, this is about that.
But the fucking gas station's there.
The hose can go over the car.
Because they got to fill it up.
Yeah, they have the extenders.
The extended it's just like, why isn't everywhere that?
You got to sit in line and wait for a guy.
You got a U-turn coming.
Move traffic over there.
Big business.
I know, but anywhere.
Any high volume, a Wawa should have it.
Yeah.
Should just be fucking burning and turning here, guys.
20-26.
Nothing.
You feel like a real dickhead when you fucking catch the wrong side of that.
I, dude, I always check.
Luckily, all of my cars have always been driver-side.
I think that's American cars.
I had the Kia Forte, which I believe was.
still I think everything I have was driving.
I think everything I have with the driver's side.
But this fucking cop was on
the outside.
Right? Like I'm in, if you're looking
and saying one, two, three, four. I'm in three.
So there's four, then
the proper shoulder. The end,
you know, he's over there.
What's he doing? He's clocking people.
But in my
artery, you know what I mean?
Dude, and I'm cooking.
I was doing 84.
Like if you would have kept going, you would have hit him?
What do you mean?
Oh, he's in his shoulder.
No.
So, like, there's, I'm going like north.
And next to me the next, I'm in the one segment of three lanes, right?
I'm in the cars.
Yeah.
Then it goes truck, three lanes of truck.
Right.
And then he's on the right side of that.
Hitting the cars?
Hitting cars in my fucking lane.
Who comes and get you?
He does.
He did because he fucking, dude, dude, I'm doing it.
I was doing 85.
And I'm like, no fucking way
If I'm moving with traffic
I'm not like zipping around
I'm we're cooking
It's not rush hour
I'm fucking
This fucking
I see him he's got the gun
Out the window
And
I was like
There's a pack of us
Where I'm like we're dead
I'm like but there's
We're dead the rights body
I go there's no fucking way
He pulls out
I go
This motherfucker
No way
I go no way
You can pull
over? No, he fucking then he
crosses over.
Like he uses...
What the fuck? Hey, he comes into the
next three lane segment and
dude, he's now far fucking
back. He's like a...
I'm not even sure it's him. They get to gun it.
But I'm not even sure it's him.
I just say, I'm like, I think that because it's
unmarked. Also, what's trash here? Unmarked
or undercover?
Unmarked.
Undercover's trashier. Yeah.
They're not undercover. It's an unmarked car.
It's not fucking Johnny Depp and fucking
But unmarked to me
Feels more
Like you're like trying to be on the force
That's what a police
I saw I was in an unmarked car
Undercovers more like
Like saying like a patrol car
Or a P.O.
Yeah
A black and white.
What you do for the military
And apparently with police as well
I always thought undercover was trashier
It's an undercover cop
It's not an undercover cop
It's a cop and an unmarked cop car
He's not wearing fucking
She's not dressed like a fucking
Hasidic Jew.
This is why it's garbage.
That's an undercover cop.
Freeze.
I don't have to say that.
I don't know.
But you did.
But thinking why you have the know-how or the understanding of why it's the definition of the unmarked car.
If you say undercover car, but you're like unmarked.
Everybody's introduction is undercover.
Yeah, undercover.
They're undercover cop car.
I pulled over an undercover cop car.
Those guys are doing investigation, busting people.
On-mark car.
but you well yeah
sorry you let
I always tell by the license plate
what it starts with
I can't tell you what
but
they're sneaky
in the NYPD
they're driving on a Mitsubis
and shit like that's crazy
because back when I was banging
it had to be American-made cars
this was fucking
your goddamn
dad are showing up
that's smart
what to use fucking whatever
I know
no it did
yeah I don't like it
The Mitsubishi eclipse coming after you.
A fucking spider.
Fucking Rubbins racing, dog.
Fucking cop pulled me over in a tracker.
Gotta wait for backup to take me home.
But this guy fucking then gets into my three lanes.
He's in a different three.
He comes in and I just see a black explorer.
Also, if you're driving a black explorer and you're not a cop car,
you're a dickhead
because everybody thinks you're a car
you read like a cop car
you do
if you're in the back and you're zooming
up the left lane
you wouldn't hate it
put that spotlight on the left
yeah that's the thing I look for
you look for the lights
the grill's always a little different
but they're far behind
yeah the lights in the grill
you're done
anybody that you got a winch on there
oh fuck that
you fuck
you better start
eating your shit, dude.
Yeah, anybody that used to have that,
that spotlight on the left of their car,
that guy was a fucking ball shooter.
It's not even a real.
Yeah, it is.
Those mall aliens out of Miami.
Ever see that?
Weird.
But yeah, he pulled over the car next to me.
Dude, I mean, it must have been about four minutes later.
And I'm sitting there.
I'm like, this motherfucker's going to.
They loved that.
And I was ready to go, so you got, you must have clocked them.
Because he's going over like fucking six lanes of traffic.
I was going to go, you had the wrong guy.
I'm in the middle lane here, doing 85.
You get the aviators on.
I'm also on a job.
Tahoe.
I got to give them like the code word for the day or whatever.
Why do they have that?
Yeah.
No, they don't.
And you think, and you say on mark.
What, of all police?
I find, I know that there's a thing where you go like fucking flash thunder type thing.
What's the, if you say I'm, I think if you say I'm an undercover cop.
You have to, I think they go get, like maybe they radio, unless that's a myth.
I guess anybody was.
Maybe I shouldn't have said that publicly.
That's, that was my, my level of clearance.
Would you rather be undercover cop or CIA?
See, I've never, CIA never did it for me.
Huh.
Cop.
That was more tangible.
Undercover cop.
Yeah.
Cover.
No.
I want the badge.
I want you to fear me.
I don't, I don't want to fuck.
I don't want to be, you know.
What do you got?
Oh, no.
But I have seen
Like I don't know
It's like in Lioness and stuff
Like in Landman
Where they have like certain code words
For that day of like the op
You don't have anything
I mean they use like 104 and stuff
Lioness
They work with the FBI
That fucking Tyler Sheridan
He's crushing it
What the fuck man
It's it's
It's gotta be six of those dudes
It's got like 15 TV shows
Seven movies
It's dumb as shit
But it's awesome man
code word
blueberry
it's called
Starbucks dick
it's called deep top
code words egg bites
I bet you if you hit a cop
with that
he probably like all right
yeah he doesn't want to seem like he doesn't know
I mean yeah
chocolate malt
keep it moving
all right
you've really been fucking
pulling a plug him
when you're done with the riff
you really decide to move on
All right, enough of that.
Move on.
I look over.
You're going to be resting your eyes.
All right, let's see.
This one's from Kippie's Left Nut,
long time, first time, $10.
Hey, me.
Is it garbage to take a bite
directly from a block of cheese?
Ah.
Yeah, for sure.
What are we talking about?
You know what I'm talking about.
Bree?
We're talking about Bree?
No, I think, I mean,
Bree's not really a block.
Bree's a softer.
But you get the little pizza slice
I like a slice
Yeah I'm not taking a bite
I have a block of cheese
I don't like the thickness of a chunk of cheese
No I like a slice
That's only for like YouTube muckbangers
Yeah that's not my cup of tea
I get I get a stripper, sorry I got a fucking thing
A cracker barrel
You know what I mean the fucking rectangle
I'm slicing that
But I will go through half of that
With some triscuits and a coke
Oh head
Standing at the fucking counter watching TV
Do the whole thing not even half
Yeah.
The whole thing.
Just crush it.
If I'm feeling fancy, I get that cabot.
Vermont sharp cabot.
Curiously strong?
Yes.
And then I'll...
Bitter beer face.
And then I'll do...
I'll get some sort of sliced pepperoni.
Oh, yeah.
Or maybe if I'm feeling fancy, I'll slice...
I'll get like the law, like a good...
Not good, but like better log.
Like salami or something.
Slice that myself.
Oh, I like that.
And then I'll do that.
do, yeah, I'll do a
Diet Coke, I'll have a couple of Diet Coke's
lined up, ready to go.
Just crushing. You just sit in that. Dude, there was nothing better.
I'd get a plate. I'd sit down and have the box,
and I'd sit and watch TV.
I would just fucking, 3,000 calories of
fucking meat, cheese and crackers. I used to have a home.
Okay. All right, gang. That's all she wrote.
That's American Garbage.
Yes. Coming out on YouTube.
Okay.
You'll say it with no calls.
I said it with full competent.
And then looked at me like you missed.
I thought you were going to pick it up.
Pick it up.
Team sport.
Guys, like we said, November, or sorry, Jesus Christ, September 13th.
September 13th on YouTube, American Garbage, our brand new RU garbage special that we filmed in Tampa, Florida, at our good club, side splitters.
At our good club.
Later.
Base.
