Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Drunk Football Fan w/ Gareth Reynolds

Episode Date: February 9, 2023

Kippy and Foley are joined by the hilarious Gareth Reynolds! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ Adam & Eve: https://www.adamandeve.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Support the show by downloading the DraftKings Sportsbook App and using the code AYG. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA).   21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. New customer offer void in NH/OR/ONT-CA. $200 in Free bets: New customers only. Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 wager. $200 issued as eight (8) $25 free bets. Ends 9/19/22 @ 8pm. Early Win: 1 Early Win Token issued per eligible game. Opt in req. Token expires at start of eligible game. Min moneyline bet $1. Wagering limits apply. Wagers placed on both sides of moneyline will void bet. Ends 1/8/23 @ 8pm ET. See terms at sportsbook dot draftkings dot com slash football terms. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Shoebie dooby dooby gang. Let's go the state trashy tour is in full swing. We're coming to a town near you Uh-huh. We got the first leg announced. Yes. We're coming other places first leg coming up grab the squad come to the show Yeah, guys starting to March. We're gonna be in Baltimore, Virginia Beach, Richmond, Virginia Oklahoma City, Dallas, Texas, Houston, Texas, Austin, Texas, then in April New Haven, Connecticut, Burlington, Vermont in May We're hitting Tampa, Dania Beach, Florida. There you go. Raleigh, North Carolina, then in June. We're hitting Cleveland and Columbus We're gonna be announcing a bunch more cities, but tickets are already moving now get them. Let's party. Yeah Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or

Absolute trash. Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Oh, yeah It's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it at the group to be classy Yeah, just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host H. Foley coming at you on a beautiful day We're down here at Antutti's basement. She's upstairs flying the colors. Okay. They got a pseudo Britt in the crowd She's up there. She thinks her red coats are coming My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?

He is an international businessman and I'll tell you what my best pal in the whole wide world Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan. Hey, what's up gang? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Oh, yeah Full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are. Trudareff. Cookin' Then obviously the greatest gosh-tower on the website of all time www.patreon.com Are You Garbage check it out you get a bunch of bonus episodes of AYG hard feelings a whole nother show We got all kinds of good stuff over there. Check it out gang

Yeah, we do love that money How about a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire the magic man makes us all look good works to ones works to twos Crosses the T's and dots the I's give it up for T-Bone McScruffins. It's Toby McBowling everybody. Come on. Hey T-Bone. What up, dude Oh, this is great this guy's in a Yeti cooler hat. He looks like he knows his way around a pontoon boat Came to play good vibes when the kid rolled in I'll tell you that right away. I like it gang the long hair ain't lying We couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the Force time He is a very funny stand-up comedian writer actor and podcaster and you may have seen him in but not limited to we got a very Herald and Kumar Christmas. We got money from strangers. We got Sullivan and Sons. We got Marin

We got the Goldbergs. We got new girl. We got hoops, which he also wrote two episodes We got arrested development also wrote two episodes of that. We got Gotham comedy live He is the co-author of the amazing book the United States of absurdity He's on tour right now. And of course, he is the co-host of the dollop and here's the turkey Has a brand-new special out right now with all things comedy entitled England weed and the rest But the big question, but he's mine today. Is he garbage? He came in here with a rucksack like he was on his way to a Hostel, I think he's summoning at the moment. Give it up for Gareth Reynolds everybody. Let's go I knew I walked in weird. I was like the big very gracious but you're just waiting

Just were patiently jotting notes. He had a pickaxe on you Goddamn back back. I ever saw my life full of hands if that helps. It's just human hands It's nothing weird. Hey, where can I put my ears? Man, thanks for coming buddy. Thank you. Thanks for having me. It's great. Yeah, give us the scoop now I know there's some British heritage in you. Yeah, which I'm royalty. I'd like to hold it against you like simply although I'm dumping out the tea in a bathtub when I get home No, not again Fuck. Oh, no, I'm not gonna swear YouTube now. You can swear. Okay. All right. Okay. It's like the feds

They got to stop lifting after the first 30 seconds. Yeah, we don't if we don't curse in the first 30 seconds They're gonna dump the call Give us a scoop. All right. So yeah, English parents moved to America born in Britain I was born in Wisconsin. So I was raised in Wisconsin by English people and it was pretty weird Now if the war broke out, you'd have to kill them first, you know that right? I'm ready to kill my dad Since I was yeah, I try to start the war. I want to go it. Let's go. I want to kill you're spreading propaganda Yeah, they're listening And then yeah, it was really weird and I like had a little British accent growing up and then slowly in Brown Deer, Wisconsin

I became a more Wisconsin-y child sure my mother felt cuz that's like America America like yeah Middle America I had a mullet and Z's shaved in the side of my head you did so I went hard sure I respect it Yeah, and she was like that's like a sitcom to two parents from fucking England moved to Wisconsin Yeah, yeah a little a little a little chap Yeah, and they were losing me because I would be coming on be like what times the Packers on it I'd be like, I'm do what you want. Just a footy Relax

Any brothers or sisters an older brother, okay, and then half he born in Britain. He was he was full on He was Full on British and when my parents moved to Wisconsin, you know, they were the little schoolboy uniform Sure, so my mother's they moved to Ohio first Uh-huh, and my mother sent him to a Cleveland to get his ass in his school uniform And yeah, he was like Dude He got me dressed like a beetle

Yeah, make it through homeroom. Yeah, and so he had he kind of like you know He kind of like grease the wheels a little bit for me made it a little easier sure they were they knew that like you had to Americanize Yeah, yes, and I was ready to go. Yeah, really ready to be absorbed how much older than you is he he's 12 years old Yeah, that's a break that's trashy right there a double digits between siblings. Yeah, it's tough Well, and let me say that like I think a lot of times people think English people are classy There are lots of pockets of sure trash in England. Well, that's your parents China was similar to America They come over here distinguish Brits. They get they get to America your dad knocks up your mom. Yep 12 years later Yep. Yeah. Yeah, they took a nice breather and what did they do?

So my dad moved to Wisconsin because or to Ohio because he got a job Working for Brio toys, which were like wooden Trains like Scandinavian wooden train. Okay, and then my mother sold toys, too So I grew up with like two toy parents. All right human parents not Yeah, Mary Nets. Yeah, and so and that was what they did and so I was like, you know like raised by this weird little Situation it was super the older I get the more I go. That was really weird. How did they do? How was the business doing when your dad was working? My dad did well. This is what the 90s were talking

He well, they moved here. I guess in the 80s. Okay, or no they would have moved here in the 70s sorry and then yeah, he started to do well like Brio became like legit for a while and You know like they were it was like middle-class, but they like they did well my mother did well, you know They didn't have to work their asses off nice. They did well. Yeah fine little house basement that flooded constantly. There you go Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Yeah. What was the house like single-family home single-family? Garage the whole nine-year-old burned down once completely Really Blame the yanks

We're pretty sure it was the yanks And but basically go back to Britain sign burns on the front. Yeah, it was very school ties It was very aggressive. You are but they Basically my mother hated turning the heat on Because she was raised super poor and so she would light fires in the fireplace not just like my mom's the same way So she did that and then one day She was going out on a walk Which she did every day and she like cleaned the ash out and put it in the garbage can and it turned out

There were still some members in it So while she was gone the garbage can kind of fire caught the car on fire the car blew up What and then someone driving by was like that a guy sounds like the Irishman? I don't know Taxi's in the water The Brits have a lot of enemies so we're thankful. Yeah Yeah, yeah, no it was real good fellas It was a week after we were throwing rocks at the Catholic Church Yeah, and the Rolling Stones played right after which we thought was a red flag

Yeah, I just remember my dad fell to his knees and screamed Mattel Metal cars are killing us Yeah, and all the wood trains. I mean they just went up. Yeah, of course I mean that was just tender. That's a liability. Yeah, did you get first dibs on all those toys when you were a kid? I assume. Yes, the best so I'm remember kush balls. Yeah, so I They were behind kush balls. Well, my mother was a sales rep for kush balls She my mother's like a rep so she just had a bunch of stuff But I remember she came home when she was like they called this the kush bowl and I was like I was a big hit

It was huge. Wow. I was and I was like I liked and she was like what do you love about it? Yeah, you're doing R&B. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I was like on Molly. I was like I'm digging this thing and And and but that was the big one that was the one I took to school That's sweet, you know, and remember you could like get you could wrap some of the circular rubber bands around your arms I was discovering all the little pockets of fun. Yeah, that's your dream. That's your dream That would be my dream job to be like a buyer or a rep for for a toy company would be all right. It was pretty good Yeah, it was yeah, and then it was compensated by the fact that they were had a horrible marriage So I got the toys to distract me from the fact that they were like in the yard sure arguing all the time

Fist fighting did they stay together then? No, they didn't say together. They didn't make at what age did they? Split ways. I'm also a product of a broken home. Yeah. Well, when did yours part young? I think I was like three Okay, then my dad then again when I was like 20 there's a lot It's a splintered family that's I kind of had like they sent me down at seven and they were like we're separating and I was like And I congratulations by the way good on your night and your mom's leaving Yeah, yeah, she's just seeding Fucking taxes are killing her and then he threw her in the river Yeah, yeah taxation without separation

She's pulling away in a carriage. Yeah. Oh, she's floating. She's no way. I was like dad Okay, but yeah, so they were like we're separating is this before after the house fire This is before the house fire was like seven years later Okay, the house fire was when they eventually got to so they took seven years. So your brother's 19 at this time Yeah, is he in the house? Is he out or is it just you? He's in college. No, yeah, he's going to UWM, but he's also like he's still in the house Sure, much, but he's he's back and forth. I mean I was like seven and I was like we're best friends And he was like late, you know, he's like smoking weed and getting DUI

Shout out to it. Yeah. Yeah, congrats kids America and that turned out to be genetic and so he So they basically like we're getting separated and I didn't know what the hell that meant and then they spent like seven years being Very confusing as far as what was going on like so they both living in the house Well, some sort of like my dad was part-time there He would sometimes be in the bedroom with my mother. This is where you're gonna be like this is trash. Sure So this is what we like this is so he so as a kid I was like what the fuck is but I never asked, you know, I was like, are they together but so yeah, you fucking her

Yeah, I'd be like, I think he is but I'd be like, I don't want to know this. So, uh, so he's man. She's married My dad's gonna kick his ass and uh, and so he so my dad would be there like part-time sometimes in the same bed sometimes on the couch bed Sure, and then he also had an apartment like in downtown Milwaukee a duplex where he lived above a set of like volleyball playing twins Ellen and Eileen who out to them to yeah, yeah, I've been trying to find them. Yeah, it's not easy but So and then I went there like once or twice to like spend the night and it was truly like What I would imagine like if your dad was a cop on stake out and it was going badly felt like like I'd open his fridge

It's just like a lamp swinging. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and so and then when I was 14 Then my father had kind of started another Relationship they go back and forth as to how the timeline of all my father basically had another relationship and And that woman was pregnant shortly thereafter, and then that was when it was but you know, I think we're all like let's call it Yeah, I think it's time to good game guys. Yeah. Yeah, good on you. Yeah, so you have a younger half sibling Three three. Yeah, very my family three more kids. Yeah, how old is he when he was having those kids? He was it was not a good idea. He was because at that point. He's got a 20 year old dish I mean, I think even older honestly, but yeah, yeah

Right around there. You were 14. I was 14 Yep, and then and then so that family like you know kind of flourished for a while And I kind of my dad and I basically stopped talking for like really or five years sure Because I was like I hate him. What the fuck? Yeah. Yeah, and I'm getting all your wooden trains. Yeah No, the trains were gone. That was the worst part. I was just like no You stayed with your mom at that time with my mom. Yeah, you felt I mean, I felt very like You know like my mother was devastated So that's when I burned the house down

Another tragedy on the back burner, what do you say a little bit of insurance? Perfect way for you to get about your about dad leaving let's torch it now. What aren't you thinking about? Yeah, so that was that was kind of the cliff. Are you tight with them at all now? Yeah, super tight with my mother and very tight with my father and what about his the new family the kid's sibling Yeah, I mean, I didn't talk to them for a long time because I was like still I think yeah And and then but yeah over the years. Yeah, we we got closer I mean, I'm still much closer with my my brother, but but you know, I'm definitely I mean, that's got to be a tough feeling especially if you're 14 and you're going to your dad's new family

Yeah, like an outsider tell well the thing also was that like my family was so Like I you know, you'd go to school and you'd be like, oh, they got the perfect I would go to other kids house and I would see the pictures like the you know an actual photographer took sure and I And I wanted that and I wanted a big trampoline And then when I went to my new dad's house with his family, they had the pictures They had it all and they're dad. Yeah with his new family And so I was just like I mean, I was like older at that point But I was still like smashed a couple of those on the way up there. I was kind of the spring down

I don't know what's going on every house. I've ever been and keeps catching fire. This is crazy Let's go live with Ellen and Eileen again. Those are the good days, huh? Yeah, wow, that's a murky upbringing. Yeah, respect it. Yeah, so let's go back to mom's house Because that's basically where you were your your entire upbringing. Yeah, you were at the house. Yep Where was she shopping? Was the grocery store Coles Coles Coles grocery. Yeah. Oh, the department store Coles grocery. So in Wisconsin Coles does everything Coles is everything. We lived in a coles. I should point that out. I burn it down

Went right up to grabbing a ham and a regular pants Coles cash, baby Yeah, let's get some chips and sweaters bad Okay, and so there's Coles the grocery that's still around I think Coles is still around But it was like driving back then all right, and I think Coles department store is not doing great from what I've I don't know man My mom loves. Yeah, my mom loves cold. Is it still going? Oh, yeah I don't sell lunch meat or anything Yeah, you got to get the boys that I can't get a read on that Coles

Yeah, could have been good back and does your mom still live in that house? No, so Sold it and she then she moved back to England and she lives in England. Wow Okay, what was what was the name of that street growing up Cedarburg Road? That's pretty good Anything with word is typically pretty nice Cedar's a nice cut of wood. There's a good cut of wood How was You just get it. Yeah, it's a good train wood by the way They move this guy knows they move Oh, yeah, oh, yeah

What was the what was the grub situation like situation like growing up? How was your mom in the kitchen? She was good really. Yeah, but I was like I again. I was real with sky likes garbage I really not to not to be on brand but I like I would like a rack of ribs like from you know Like the cooked gross the like cooked in the grocery store Package Coles ribs Yeah, all right now that's got some got some got some sneakers some ribs went home the use And um, but she was a great cook like all that when I got older I was like, gosh, she's a great cook. Was it traditional British food like beef wellington and shit like that

Or could she throw it out on like It was a lot of spotted dick it was it was a lot of shit the only kid in elementary school guinea fowl for lunch Pardon me. Wait, but we have quail Yeah, I Know it wasn't I mean she would do like shepherds. Who's the kid eating Fox at the end of the table He's got the honor out there. I Play a horn before I eat

You Yeah, so It was definitely like British food sure but it wasn't all wellington, but it would be like But she was a lot of Wellington, I'm not gonna lie. I mean calls always had it But you know like I didn't you know you grow up in a house where it's like weird You didn't realize it was weird till later because I would always have eggs and soldiers Which is like a soft boiled egg and the neighbor and the And you'd cut the top off and then the toast would be like little lines. That's fucking classy. You'd fuck it

What I had an egg cup. I mean it was pretty good. That was pretty good. She tried What is that? How is that egg cooked in there? Is it soft a soft boiled egg? So it's like yeah, hard boil a hard boiled egg, but the middle the yeah, pull it out So the yolk still the you just take the top off and but you got as a kid you gotta eat around that thing you get a lot of Yeah, I don't even remember how you did it. I think I just I think it was just for the yoke. Really? Yeah, very wasteful Pretty good. Yeah, it's all about that draft King's baby. We go birds We're talking about an official sports betting partner a Super Bowl 57. Oh, yeah, get over to the draft Kings, baby Spray a little cash around. Yeah in the middle of the month. You'll be all right. Uh-huh. Here's the turkey. What's that?

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My own ass Valentine's Day is when you try new things. You're trying to save the relationship Talk about a hell Mary. Let's go break out the double-sided dildo and the chocolates and have a good time 2023 have a little fun. Yeah, even if you're single though it to yourself Listeners get 50% almost off almost any item. Just use code garbage at checkout and you'll get 50% off plus free shipping That's 50% off an adventurous new toy. Yeah slippery lube or almost anything else We're not talking about run around the jungle either. No talking about getting weird. Yeah going big or going home Only way to do it in the boudoir. Yeah, I mean

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Okay, doctor needs to step in. I like that level. I respect it. Okay. Yeah, hmm Okay, we allowed to eat food in your room What were the rules of the house? There were they got I mean the good thing about the parents being so Fragmented was that their rules came off. Yeah, the rules really kind of would she work like when you would come home from let's say Like the like middle school like you know six seventh grade Would your mom be home or would you have to let yourself in and all that kind of stuff? I was pretty latchkey growing up

Like I it it would vary because she would be able to go out on like road trips basically to go sell stuff But it was real latchkey ish for most of it And then it got a little bit better when I was like in middle school She went out a little bit less I think but but for the most part. Yeah I was like left to my own devices. When were you allowed to stay home by yourself? Like completely by yourself like would she ever leave for business trips and you'd just be at the house No, my brother would be There was the breaking point was this one time when I was 11

My mother hired a 12 year old to babysit me and that was when I was able to be like like what are you doing here? Yeah, that was like my like I'm gonna take this to the Supreme Court. Was it a guy or a girl? It was a girl All right, that's pretty cool though It was but she definitely was like taking her role too seriously or and she and she loved new kids on the block and I just knew it was total bullshit and then this that was kind of When I started to be able to be home alone a little bit more because I was like this you don't like come on Yeah, I'm gonna bang this check Okay, what was a family vacation like growing up?

There were not a lot of those Florida was probably the main destination Disney or just like somewhere else. No, it would be more like I Mean it would be more like my dad and I would go on fishing trips more than okay And then and then so like we'd go to Florida a good amount. Was there any family here? No, none. So England was really it to go there. We got a thing. I'd probably go to England once or twice here I go to England for basically every Christmas. Oh, yeah, just probably do it. All right. Yeah, it's got a pretty good Yeah Herald and a lot of chimneys. Where was your mom from near London? No, it's a small town called Stalbridge

Okay, it's like West Midlands near Birmingham. It's a little like Birmingham. Yeah, it's where we're talking old school Yeah, it's it's you know, really like when you think of like a little English town. Yeah, one of those. Yeah, that's all right I mean bad man. I liked it. I liked it a lot. Huh. Yeah, but they also in England like they would do They would start drinking earlier. They would start cigarettes or like you could buy cigarettes at 16 You just didn't get carted sure sure so I definitely would like go to England Start smoking weed or start trying other shit the pubs or whatever. Yeah, and then come home and then to my friends I'd be like it's time that we are drinking. Yeah, you can drink rum now, you know You're coming back like a British Explorer. I got I got laid the first time at like 15 and I came back and my friends

Didn't believe me. Sure. Like well, that's also that's also the thing of like I she's in England You know what I mean? Like his English bro a huge shit suck my dick. Oh, yeah, we believe you guys It's a picture of Elizabeth Hurley Swear to God you gave this to me. Yeah, yeah, I get okay Yeah, quicker than a true American guy. Yep. All right. What was the high school mascot growing up wild cat Yeah, it was a name of the high school University School. It was called University School. Yeah, yeah, okay It was like it was a pretty preppy school. Okay. It's good school. It was a good school. I was terrible at it Okay, but it was a pretty good school. I respect that. What are what were the SATs like growing up?

Well, you mean for everyone or for me for you specifically not good What's not good-looking like I mean real bad my neighbor killed it. Yeah There were a lot of kids who did great. Yeah, I'm sure me. Uh, not great There's also the ACT in the Midwest and that was the one where they were like Does he he has a brain or yeah? Yeah, like I think you're like 22 on the ACT is like terrible It's out of 30 high 30s. I think it's out of and I I'm I've never I mean this isn't I got less 17 I got where where they where they were like they were like what like someone drove you home Yeah, they were like don't tell anyone about this. Just don't you don't want to go to some of these colleges

Yeah Yeah, and SATs were also bad, but what number of the SAT because he did bad as well So you're in your I guarantee you're in good company. I was out of 1600 when I went. Yeah, same. I got a 870 I would guess I was around nine That means you would have 12 on the ACT. Who would have been babysitting me? Yeah Yeah, not good though really really bad any sports. I was more of a theater kid Okay, I played a little bit of soccer, but was just not good. I've had hockey too for a long time

Okay, they had a good theater program there pretty good. I mean that was like the only thing I really gravitated towards I was doing like Improv and at a place called comedy sports, which is kind of the only place for for comedy at this is in high school Yeah, and then and then plays like a lot of like plays and shit that was what were you hit me with a couple I was in a much-do-about-nothing nice. I was in Harvey. Okay. Yeah, were you I was I was the guy talk to the bunny That's a Jimmy Stewart character. Yeah, and I was in hello dolly. I would do the musicals, but wasn't good This is a high school musical that wasn't good. I don't know if you can pick your starting roles We're talking about it was big. Who'd you play in much you do? I was dog Barry. Mm-hmm. Yeah, all right

There's a pretty good little role bad Shakespeare boys. Yeah, and and now that I really did enjoy That was where I kind of like because I was really not I mean I think everybody was like this guy's not it's not gonna end well And then I and then I think I really just kind of like that kind of saved me Are there a couple teachers who actually like were really helpful again? I was like I said a 17 I was a really bad student and so there were a couple teachers who kind of stepped in and were like So that you were dedicated towards it. I tell you what?

Yeah, you got a starring role in fucking Harvey man at the fucking school They're showing up on a Friday night that I that turns a lot of heads. Yeah, it was good It was like it was a thing and that really and then that's like, you know What kind of like carried me off into like college and the few you know But that was really like that was kind of where I was like, okay There is something I can do and like cuz up until then it was we were really like how is this yeah try to figure it out Yes, what was the one good? What was the lunch situation in high school? Would you buy would your mom pack your lunch or would you pack your own lunch?

It was like a hot lunch. So you wouldn't you wouldn't even buy it was just like a prepped hot lunch every day Okay, and you of like, you know, whatever whatever they like it. I did I mean I really like But I realized like there's two different kinds of people people that like the school Thought it was gross and I loved it. I loved it and I actually remember when I like told people I liked airplane food And they're like, I don't mind it man. I don't mind I looked for I was like I can't wait for that fucking chicken I loved airplane food and I really liked the cafeteria food I was definitely I would say a little more in the minority, but I was I was like, man It's a pretty good nugget. Yeah, there's just something about when they give you all the courses at once when you have your little

Little cake The brownie first I don't care. Yeah, the bar was low. So I definitely yeah, I would eat whatever How is your palate now has it expanded as you got older? You still eat and trash food. I'm better now Yeah, I definitely am better if you're going to the electric chair your final meal. What are you doing? It could be like pizza from wherever But what do you what is like the one thing where you're like, it's my fucking gotta have my go-to I would probably do pizza from a place called. I mean I again, I'm like I live in LA So it's not

You get this little joint Domino there and but there's this guy the noid he opened this place watch out for the noid the noid sales beats unbelievable so it would be like a Numero uno pizza and fries and I'd probably fold the fries in I get a bottle of red wine Yeah, yeah, and a cigarette and I'd want to said one a Marlboro medium and I don't smoke anymore That's firing squad Well, that's where they're like, dude, it's like you got we got to go Blindfold on somebody having my pizza sandwich going out like guy forks

That's good shit. What was the pet situation growing up? Lots of pets. Really? Yeah, just anyone that showed up would end up What was the weirdest one you had any like anything up and what do you mean show up? Like if a cat showed up on our porch, my mother would like feed it and then the cat would know like within a few days And come in the house and all that. Yeah eventually be in the house. Nice. Yeah, any dogs. Yeah multiple dogs many dogs Probably a peak. I think we had five cats. Whoa. Whoa. Yeah, it was wild. We were trying to fill some holes Yeah, definitely some emotional five. My mother was like five cats is a dad Oh good Yeah, that's your father. Isn't that good any injuries growing up as a kid. Yeah, anything. Yeah, I broke a wrist

broke some fingers Got a lot of stitches got staples in my head and England wants for what I fell off a bike And you're also healthcare right there. Yeah, that's what you're doing. Well that the people are always like yeah universal and they're like We call it forward stitches. How about yes, they were just Yeah, yeah exactly and I was like is that okay. It feels a bit archaic, but uh Yes staples and then you know, yeah lots of scars, but nothing like too bad nothing crazy Nothing too crazy was your house the sleepover house. It became Not only the sleepover house when when my dad was fully gone

So my mother I Was I was like smoking cigarettes on the down low pry when I was like 14 ish Did she's you're in good company? So then she starts smoking really yeah, and then at some point she found out I smoked and I found out she's smoke. This is this is like early high school Holy she found out I smoked and then we both kind of just were like Let's just smoke in the house and so in the house So we were just kind of smoking cigarettes in the house prior on 1415 now

She wouldn't she don't want to tell anyone but then that led to an easement of all rules, of course And then so by 1516 I could have parties at my house in my basement She just kind of lost control of me and and my friends are like there for it And so we would just go to my wife's they smell blood Yeah, and then and then you know it was weed through the blow tube and then it was like just weed Yeah, it was all bold not a joint then it was this yeah, and then we there was a slope There was there was a gentleman who was not at full strength mentally who used to buy us alcohol And so we had quite a little ecocystal crack it going yeah

So we were getting whatever the fuck we wanted and then we were able to do it there But it all started with my mom I mean I remember my mother and I just like making the decision to smoke cigarettes in the living you and your mom are in The living room you're watching TV. You're 14 years old. Yep. Having a heater. Yes like Throw in her the pack being like There you go, you know, that's a soft back through. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that was a wild. Yeah, so that was totally nuts and That's a recipe for a 920 on the SAT. Yeah, there's shit. If it is a mr. 17 himself

Dr. 17 sharing a pack of Chester fields. Yeah Benson and hedges. Yeah Yeah, so and then now we're getting there folks so he's with the mom Yeah, in the crib. Yeah with five cats running around What I mean, seriously, it's nuts imagine the smell in that house man buying boo. Yeah. Yeah, Lance showing up in the cut Yeah, all right, who would cut the hair as a kid? Supercuts I think would cut right. I'll give you that. Yeah, definitely. And again, it was up for probably 10 or 11 years. It was a full strength mullet. Sure. So it was like, you know, it was the maintenance I really really gravitated towards Shakespeare with a mullet. I think I'd lost the mullet by then. It's an adaptation right there. Yeah, yeah

Yeah, we got the babysitter. We got college covered. What's the was the prom situation you go? I Definitely went to another school's prom. I think I went to my school's prom. Yeah with a squad or with a lady I I definitely I think I went with to my prom with a foreign exchange student And I think if I remember correctly, I felt kind of like guilted into it and I didn't enjoy it Oh, and then I went to the other school's prom because I was kind of dating the girl and like went to her prom But my prom I remember being like man, this is not enjoyable. Where is she from? I think she was from like Argentina or something. She it she was from England. That'd be weird You know these types. Yeah

But she definitely was like like I was like we should be drinking, you know, and she was like God, no Oh God, well, you're not gonna like the nitrous situation later. I'll tell you that much We got a bunch of balloons in the limo that are probably gonna weird you out It's helium. We're doing helium. I swear. Yeah, our voices just don't change our brains do that's too bad Lane's to score us a couple of tanks parties back at my mom's Yeah, by the way Lance got where he did from tanking so hard I got a buddy like that

Yeah, all right. All right, a lot of that you ruled Now you're pretty class Yikes classic Englishman. I don't know if I don't know if the audio listener could feel my eye roll You can't come back here. You can hear I heard it. It's heaters with your mom Yeah, whoa, and then we're gonna have to find out your actual royalty at some point to bounce back from that That's an all-time answer. And then my brother trace the bloodline back my brother also smoking cigarettes So at one point all three of us smoking cigarettes and so they're just like the age It was it all the wheels came off at some point. Yeah, the wheels were fully. Yeah. Yeah, I have a cigarette It's fine. I will

All right, let's switch over to now a little bit where you live in now I live in LA. You're an LA. You got your own place. I have an apartment. Yeah, you have an apartment Yeah, one bedroom two bedroom two bedroom two bedroom couple of bucks couple of bucks on the kids What's uh, what's the credit score looking like I think it's pretty average I would say not great. Okay, normally when it comes for me to use credit people. I'm like, what what do you mean? Got jammed up in college when you were young I assume everybody else. I'm just cleaning mine up now It's more that I just don't really I

Think it's just that I never really had to I've never really used credit. I really yeah Yeah, I always hit you with that bullshit, too. It's not do your credit's bad. You just don't have a lot of it. Yeah 22 Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so yeah, not not great. What kind of steel you're throwing around you got a MX No, I have no, I got a credit card with my I have a credit union. So it's a pretty okay. It's silver So there you go drop too many panties, but any Any miles programs like you have like yeah, what are you who you who you linked with? American Airlines, okay, that's yeah gold

Good Thank you. Are you hitting the lounges at the airport? I do a lounge. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I mean, but I don't I don't fly as much as I used to but I'll still do the lounge. Yeah, yeah Okay, now first-class or coach or preemie mainly mainly mainly coach mainly coach take your shoes off Yes, big shoe taker. Oh Yeah, I've had I'm real into the I know that there's a lot a lot of people first of all, you know, I'm You know where I'm from so I'm surprised you that much. Yeah, but my you have a shirt on I left it in the lounge

These cats in here You can't smoke up here, sir, I don't care what your mom says Regulations Flight attendant school my parents were divorced. It's fine I've had a number of occasions. I've lost a shoe under the seat in front. Oh, man And I've had the person in front Who's it be does is it do this and you're just like this is Animal, that's crazy. Yeah, and that's I'm not kidding. That's happened 15 times in my life. Will you bring food onto the plane?

Yes, yes, I'll pat. Yeah, give me an example. Well, you bring it through security. Will you buy it when you're there? I'll normally bring it through security. You're putting sandwiches through TSA. Yeah, the fuck. Yeah, guys. No, yeah You're gonna get be willing to play Exactly serve it in the terminal. Yeah, I'll do both though. I'll get a sandwich at the airport or what kind of food you bring it from home Uh-huh. I isn't good. I can tell by the the pause. He just it's honestly not good This this might send me over the edge. I On a number of occasions have brought eggs that I've cooked at home in Tupperware brought it on the plane. Oh Man

Like like scrambles. I like fried eggs. Wait, you'll fry a yes, you know, they're a Friday takes 12 seconds to digest Well, cuz I'll be like I want them later I'll be hungry later and I'll try to like not eat like there's a rationale again. It's 17 on the HCT I'll make I'll like cook them and then I'll be like, you know, it's a healthy healthy-ish meal So I'll just make them at home to save a little money just eggs Some eggs and some toast maybe something like that. All right Continental breakfast and coach Somebody the TSA

Which one do you forgot your breakfast marinara the mirror in here somebody pulled out of Tupperware on a flight next I jump out. I'd open the I'd open the emergency door, dude. I'd have to I'd have us landed. No way No way when I sit next to you what I I definitely do this too, though I'll sit window and I'll definitely like go. I'll tell the stores. You have a bomb or something Yeah, hide it. I'll hide it. I'll hide it like a shame Yeah, it's shady Yeah, no worries fine. You better be doing coke over there, buddy Jesus dude, I knew that would go over poorly. I knew that wasn't gonna go well

It's not good carry on only we check a bag. I'll normally check about you're gonna get his grill on there Yeah, I mean honestly, what do you think? I gotta check the griddle. Yeah. Yeah, I gotta bring the walk So I'll check the walk eating stir-fry. Yeah, yeah No, it feels like a smuggle. I I bring a lot like I'll film all my shit on the road So I'll like pack a bunch of a guy you might do a podcast on the road, of course All right, huh? What was the last time you were on a boat and when was it where and when that's a good one Damn, I don't remember the last time I was on a boat. It's definitely a pontoon. Yeah It was a pontoon boat the best boat in the world is a pontoon

It was a pontoon boat and it would be in Big Bear, California about five or six years. There you go You know that what's your go-to sauce. I'm sorry go please I drink a lot of wine now because I used to just drink so much hard liquor. Okay, like I throttle back a little bit Yeah, I used to like beer and whiskey a lot my kind of guy and then so I eventually had to be like you can't like I got like I got blackout drunk at a wedding probably two years ago And I was like you are too old to be like always a wedding to get you when you get older really Yeah, well because I reverted to like how I used to be 22. Yeah It was it was like it was like someone trying to just like squat a thousand pounds that used to be a powerlifter and now

It's 50. Yeah, I just like everything. It was just a nightmare And so then I've just gone like just wine. Okay, unless I'm like in private and my own whose wedding was that? I was my buddy breath. Okay. Yeah, are you a spotted cow guy, Wisconsin? I love spotted cow. Big spotted cow It's like Wisconsin's yingling. It's a religion there. You can't yeah, you can't buy outside of Wisconsin. Ah, that's pretty good You got wine at the house right now unopened bottles. I got two bottles of wine in that hobo sack Yeah, I got I have lots of wine in my house big wine guy. I like wine. You like the good stuff. No Truly whatever like whatever anyone's like what do you want? I was really hoping he said he liked nice wine Yeah, all right

No, actually nice door though You know what stresses me out when they pour the wine for you at a restaurant to give the taster because I'm like this is so Unnecessary. Yeah, I always you can't you can you can just say just pour it. Yeah I normally like, you know, dude. Yeah, I'll fake and be like that is really good It's got a nice rip I'll On the road, I'll go to a 7-eleven and buy wine. I really it's 7-eleven I mean, I'd rather go to a wine store

The cheap but if it's like CVS wine is what you know Yeah, what combos pair well with this that sort of stuff wow a screwtop man Well, what let's be honest sure it seems like that technology's gone pretty well. It's a little less labor intensive Sure, so it's screw tops. I definitely would gravitate towards a screw top. Yeah drugstore wine. Yeah, holy shit Yeah, do you have anything to pair with my eighty-seven cheese? Sorry your shoes are off Thank you so much How you doing in hotels

Probably not great man. It's not great. Well, you asked to move your room if you don't like the room if you've done No, he's probably has to leave you They're like the room that's complained about you sir somehow the room called the front desk I I Would I've rarely switched rooms if like there's a TV issue One time I was in I think like Minneapolis and I had ants in my room and and I let it go I was party or what? Yeah, I snorted them I I let it go for like a day and then I and then I and then I called and I was like

Hey, look there's ants and then they set someone up to raid the room And the guy was like the guy's like we're gonna raid it and I was like I I think I gotta actually say I can't be here I like you can't you can't fucking bug bomb my and he got it so early that I was like He knows that's a horrible pitch like he was like we'll raid it or you should go somewhere else But yeah, I'll never be like ants in a hotel. I'll never be like this room isn't to my satisfaction Okay, you're leaving something for the cleaning lady every time. Yep. Good doing. I'll do about five a night To me to stand that we hear people say yeah, I feel a weekend 20 bucks or whatever Yeah, I feel like I feel like the I don't smoke weed anymore

But I used to take weed on the road with me all the time and that was my way of being like We're okay with what I did in here. Gotcha. I like that But but they make the maids do so much that I feel like yeah sure definitely. Yeah, I love it I was always under the impression that they get paid per hour. They're paid per unit. Yeah, right Which I didn't know until very recent Me in the room for three or four nights. I don't have them come in to do no never so yeah So it's like there's you know, there's a full trash. I try to like make areas. That's a surprise party when I leave Yeah, right. They're like what happened. Yeah, how many men were in here?

It's all these ants. Look at all the wooden trains. Okay, we eat a burrito in public. Yeah, okay Like on a park bench you'd throw down on it. Yeah, if I had now if I had sufficient napkins I would be gladly. Okay. Are there any Trophies on display in your apartment now No, no trophy. You have a fish tank. No, that's a good question. Any plants. Yeah, plants doing all right Yeah, yeah, the other plants I take care of any pets now. Yeah, I got one cat. Okay, driving not bad He smokes What's your cat's name Jose good cat name not bad cat. It's not bad. Would you get him an ex-girlfriend? Yeah

You got a divorce. No, it was actually she got the cat in the divorce And then he was gonna get like euthanized that day And so she was like this cat's awesome and so she just brought over there the cat. Okay, okay So I was I went from no cat to a cat in like an hour. Wow. That's not bad Have you ever bought the floor model of an appliance or a TV? Oh I don't think so. Okay. No good, but if offered I would be like, yeah, if they'll be hey We'll knock off to hundo. I'd be like, all right All right, I can index it. Huh. Have you ever have you ever been? Have you ever taken a bath at a hotel? Yeah, really?

Yeah, I actually one time bath nice screw top bottle of wine. Yeah You got yourself a party. Yeah get Mercer real nice evening. You know what I mean? I Remember one time your real men in jitis Yeah, I remember one time I was in like a best Western and for whatever reason They had this enormous tub in there and I knew it was it was like it was it was like in the living room It was crazy. Okay, and I was like, I'm gonna take a you got it though You got it here and I and I and I took like I was there for like three days And I took like two baths in it and it was it was a it was wild

It was closer to a pool, but I mean many times I've taken baths in hotels Yeah, I don't feel good about it. Yeah, I certainly don't I have some salt cleave makes me feel a little better But that's not every bath. I've definitely taken just some raw dog baths in there. Yeah Yeah, you keep your customer receipt from a credit card like if you pay for dinner Yeah, you keep it. Yeah, take it with you. Yeah, you don't just rolled in a ball and throw it on the table No, I take it. I take it with me. What are you doing with it afterwards? I don't know my accountant Just I was like remember we had to save receipts and he was like you still should Be doing no, that's a good thing to do so I still do that

Okay, but if you went into my backpack you'd be like this is not like they fade the ink like sure. Yeah, it's not great When you were drinking hard liquor, would you order the signature cocktails at a place? No, never Yeah, and I and I actually took pleasure in like drinking the bad whiskey I kind of do too. I like I would like Jim beam or I would even order the rail or whatever. Well, yeah I've heard that before. Yeah, well, I'm from a train for rail. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've heard that. Yeah Have you ever saved a crown royal bag? No You got any fireworks at your apartment right now? No, but I used to have a major firework problem in Wisconsin Like lots lots of fireworks. I convinced my English uncle once when I was a 14

I told them we're gonna. Yeah, we can light these off in the house mom Yeah, I had him take me to go get fireworks, but I convinced him we were gonna go check out this town called Racine and Lied to him and bought like I would buy like the fucking orders Anybody in the family ever claimed to see the UFO No, no no you UFO. Nope bigfoot. Nope skunk gate Nope, my mother one time said she saw a winged cat on our porch a winged cat. Yeah, so there's that Wow Yeah, we didn't take that one in that's a bird We've been asking questions

Let's see grown up to you keep ref batteries in the refrigerator. No Ever own a bean bag. Yes Yeah, at what age we as a kid I as a kid and then in my in college I had a bean bag Yeah, I think respectable. Yeah, kind of furniture you got in the apartment now. You got a nice sectional chair. No, I got like I So my mother moved to LA a couple different times for a few years Okay, and and lived in an apartment while you were out there. Yeah, wow and she had my brother lives out there, too Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Does he have a family out there? Yep. All right, cool. Yeah, so that's pretty good and It's good to get him smoking and

So my mother is like my mother does have like good taste and stuff So my mother bought like some nice furniture, okay? And then when she left to go back to England again, I bought that nice furniture off her So I do have kind of nice furniture, but it's definitely older now But she didn't just give it to you yet to buy it all right. Well, I kind of insist it I was like, let me give you like a great, let me give you 20 bucks. Yeah Don't see the point. All right, then come on. You didn't really want it the money. Yeah. Yeah, she was kind of yeah All right, good. Okay. I'll give you that but so the furniture

But but most of this stuff I would say is is not, you know There's like if you saw me be like a woman should probably be involved in this guy's life. That's good though Yeah, it's good any sports equipment at the house right now Uh baseball gloves catcher's mitt. There's a football. There's a basketball. All right. All right. There's the Apartment complex have a pool you got a pool. No, no pool. No, you know how to tie a tie Yep, but that's I went to a school where you had to wear a tie. Gotcha. How many suits do you own now? I? own probably Five suits but three

From Thailand. Ah, that's alright though. That's alright like the custom water like the more like custom fitted ones Yeah, but that's you know, it's it right now. You go home. There'd been some adjustments. Okay, right now Right. Yeah, I could get in one. They called and said hey, you got to be the Oscars tomorrow I'd question who's booking it, but yeah, I could do it. Yeah Ever been to ever been in a fight at a sport you were watching No, but I've come very close. Okay. I when I went and saw the pack Yeah, they're really scraping the bottom Can't be an Hank both swinging low

It's earned I Was at the 40 remember the game where or Kaepernick made his highlight reel against the Packers like I don't yes Yeah, it was like he was like kissing his bite. It was like ridiculous. Yeah, I went to that game almost fought him I went I tried to fight him and I went to that game and was real drunk and Was feeling the the fans be assholes and I started I realized quickly like shut the fuck up I've got into an argument at a preseason game with a 15-year-old at the Chargers Packers preseason game probably about 12 years ago Yeah, that for me was that was not good. I was not were you at that Kaepernick game by yourself or you with somebody I was with a buddy of mine. Yeah, have you ever been with sporting event by yourself?

No, I don't think I have go see a movie by yourself. Yeah, take yourself out to dinner Yeah, I've done that. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, have you ever tried to start the wave at a sporting event? Oh for sure ever burned a jersey Never burned a jersey. No came close with five when he went to the Vikings There was like there was definitely like a like I was like I'm getting rid of that magnet. Sure Boy likes the flame Will you keep the box of something if you get something will you keep the box for a while? Yeah two months. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's usually big on electronics. Yeah, I'll keep like a TV box

Unless it's the floor model. Okay, then I'll be like how much for the backs. Uh anyone in your family ever represent themselves in court Oh, man. Good one Real good one No, I don't think so. Okay. Oh, that's a I wish. Oh, it's a dream I'm gonna frame my dad. My brother did it. Oh, it's the best out of a drunk in public or drinking in public That's the best. I mean and his logic was how do you know what was in my cup? And I was like, dude, that's not gonna work. Like this isn't lawn or permission to approach the bench. You know Uh, huh

Will you change a table at a restaurant? No, will you send food back? No, okay. Nope. I will yeah, I'll just be like whoops ever just listen to the sopranos theme song Yes, I have yes. I have Yes, I have you got that bumping in the car. That was really good at one point when it was, you know It was just the theme song sleep with the lights on Nope, what is the sleeping situation? Uh, what size is the bed? The bed is a queen. All right, and uh, your single guy though Yep, cool. Yep sleep in the middle Uh, I share it with my cat. Okay. Is the bed in the middle of the room or is it touching? It's touching multiple walls

It's touching multiple walls Yeah, it's not great and uh And uh, no headboard. I assume no headboard. All right. No. Nope. Is there a bed? There's a bed. Okay? Well, I mean it's a water bed. No, there's a bed. You have a fitted sheet I do but again, my mother has some influence over stuff like this, but yes, there's a fitted sheet It's pretty good, but a lot of it is sponsor. Uh, it the is uh is a sponsor the comfort is i got a liquid ivy bed The bed's a sponsor watermelon Uh

The bed's a sponsor, uh, brooklyn and are the sheets. There are spots. There you go. Uh, so, you know, so that's sponsor I really want that brooklyn's pricey stuff. Yeah, I walk the walk. Yeah, but it's up against the wall Yeah, no, it's yeah, you have a fan in the room. Yeah sleep with it on you Is this fan on the ceiling or is it like a desk fan? Uh, it's a you know, it's an uh, there's possible oscillation Okay, if one would if one would enjoy an oscillation, and may I also point out it has a remote. Hello, okay Thank you gentlemen. The batteries aren't in that thing. Well, I'm going to get them. They're the freezer Good lord. That definitely has a cord running through the bedroom. It's uh, definitely got probably connected to an extension cord It's not a good look. Probably an outdoor extension cord. Yeah, it's going in the big yellow guy

Yeah, the big yellow guy with the black head You go to sleep watching tv. Yep. Do you eat watching tv? What do you normally eat your meals if you cook at home? I'll just see on the couch on the couch watching watching tv Okay, you got a swiffer. Nope. Who cleans the apartment? I do. I'm pretty clean. You do. Yeah, I got a mop I'll go pretty big. Okay. I'm pretty good about that. That ain't bad. A mop though. Like a string mop? Yeah, really? Yeah, like janitor-y mop. Jesus Yeah I even put up the little yellow cautious

It's a wet floor. Watch out, Gareth. Make sure the cat doesn't sue me. Yeah. Yeah You take your shoes off in the house. Yeah Well, if a guest come over, well, they have to take their shoes off. Yeah, that'd be a request and then yeah If we came over to the house right now, you'd say, hey, can you guys take your shoes off? Uh, I or we would ask we we would ask then I'd be like, yeah And what would you offer us to drink? What do you have in the house water-wise or? Uh, it would probably be a liquid death water, okay

And warmer in the fridge fridge. All right, and then outside of that, uh, it wouldn't be much You like wine if you want it. Yeah Yeah, you can take this top up these little sutter homes. Do you cook at home a lot? Would you say? Yeah, you do? Yeah, where are you shopping out there in la la land? Uh, I mean mainly I mean it varies. I'll go to lassens, which is a more. Yeah I think it's more men run grocery store. Really? Yeah, but they just have good produce many bags. I go to the farmers market a lot Nothing on that. Yeah I said you can have as many bags as you want

Hey, we don't discriminate over here Nothing on that I do a lot of farmers markets. Really? Yeah. Yeah. All right. Here we go. That's not gonna help him, dude He probably steals from them Yeah These dumb yokels can't count running down the street with a shirt full of radishes free dirt The produce sucks, but I love the haggling That's pretty good. You do a lot of I trade them for magic beans a lot of

That's not bad I mean, you're gonna need a lot to get you out of where you currently Yeah, that's a haul. Do you have a full set of silverware? Yeah Okay, are they in silverware dividers? Yep Really? Yeah Do you want to set a kitchen tongs? Uh, I don't think I have tongs, but I have a lot of stuff. You have a pizza cutter. I have a pizza cutter What's the mayo situation when you were a kid and now?

Not into mayo loved it as a kid loved it as a kid. Do you remember what your mom would get? Uh, I think miracle with She's british though. You got to cut her some slack. Yeah That ain't mayonnaise Fully now hate you by the way The fact that I saw a demerit put on the paper is really tough. Isn't the act's all over again. Call me. Call me HP saw sorry kippy. Oh, please. Uh, yeah Yeah, hp hadn't had probably in the house as a kid. Yo, yeah, you got a bottle in your fridge now

I have a bottle of it. Yes. So what else you got in that fridge on that on that on the door There'll be ketchup. There'll be a lot of what kind of brand we talking about ketchup and mustard Uh ketchup, I feel like will be like one of those like all natural got you ones from last and uh mustard I think same thing. I like like, you know, like Dijon mustard But I'm sure if like a regular like smart person would come over they'd be like that's not good But I like it with the little mustard seeds in it. So something like that grain mustard. Yeah, um There would be some ranch dressing Hidden valley

No, probably again like a like more random company. Okay. Um, so you're eating pretty good Yeah, I do like to eat pretty good trying to keep it some said ranch. You're like, you're eating pretty good. Yeah No, but I mean back in the good books. You're going small batch. You're going a little organic You're doing the farmers market. Where you getting your meats from? I don't eat meat. You don't eat on the vegetarian I eat eggs, but no meat. Yeah. How long have you been a vegetarian? Uh, probably about 10 years now 10 years Yeah, yeah, so there's no meat. So I don't get meat. I get like fake meat, but I don't even eat that a lot Okay, I eat a lot of like I eat a lot of veg. So what would a meal be? Uh beef Wellington

No, I mean a meal would be like yeah, I would say like, I mean potatoes and rice and beans and things like that like all mixed up versions of that But that's why I cook a lot at home and it's not really that varied, you know Like my diet when I'm at home is pretty normal. And then when I go on the road Like I put on like 10 pounds of road weight and then I go home because you said you like ribs I used to say haven't had ribs in 10 years. No Any you mess with any fast food? Not really no because it's like yeah, we're gonna eat meat. It's kind of like yeah, it kind of filters itself out

Yeah, when you would visit your mom. Was there any British food that you were really stoked on like fish and chips used? I used to put on like 15 pounds of fish and chip weight Love it. You know have a cod gut like I really loved fish and chips Greg sausage roll or like an arrow sausage roll. Great. Yeah. Love those It's like such a simple diet there, but I love fish and chips was like the greatest thing. What's your go-to British candy? I would say probably Maltesers Maltesers. Yeah, they're kind of like whoppers. Okay. Yeah, they call them something. Don't they call them milk something over there, too Isn't there a brand milk something? Oh, yeah, there's uh, what is it purple wrapper? Yeah. Yeah, is it dairy milk dairy milk?

Yeah, I think it's dairy milk. Yeah, what about those pigs ears that everyone eats over there? You know I'm talking about pigs. They're like they're gummy bears But they're piggy ears or something like that. I don't know. Little pink piggies or something. I thought they were a popular British game I don't know I know your mars bars don't have any peanuts in them. Yeah, and snickers used to be called marathon for some reason crazy Yeah, that was not okay. That was a hate crime I work. I mean, I think I got all I need to render a judgment here. Well, I shouldn't have represented myself Yeah, there you go dumb idea. You did represent yourself in the in the quarter garbage. Yeah, and you didn't do

This might pull him out black olives or green olives black Yeah, and can pitted. Let's dance Come on If they only made a screw top Come to daddy, man. What uh, what kind of frozen pizza will you mess with? There you go. Uh, I would say probably de Giorno Yeah, it's that my favorite, but it's trashy. Yeah. Oh, yeah, but I mean I loved it growing up You'll eat cheese, right? Yeah, you do cheese and I'll eat in a hotel

I'll even get the hotel pizza where you got to fold the silver top on and I'll eat that and be like that's pretty good Like out of like the out of the lobby lobby pizza I don't use the microwave if you have it in the hotel room. Yes use the business center No I love I do love the business center though when there's a guy saddest deal being closed ever a computer Man, none of that shit ever worked. Will you use the coffee maker? No, I'll use the coffee maker. Whoa the coffee maker this morning Holy shit. I don't feel good It's because you're drinking piss. Yeah, I pay him

I'm fine. I pay him too It's the circle. What's the wallet situation? Uh, it's like a uh It's a ridge wallet. It's uh, it's velcro for sure. It's all in the sock Yeah Keep your eyes on stuff this day. It's all in this sock. Nobody can holler it out of your sack It's a money clip that a fan gave me a packers money clip. Ah, that's very nice. That's very sweet. You're still trash Yeah, I don't know what to tell you brother. Yeah Fucking no, it's not. I mean no, I feel like it's a wild world of garrison. It's that great

Fucking home run gareth reynolds everybody. What a fucking treat. Look at you. Yeah. No, it's not easy It wasn't easy to get it from the depths of hell Yeah, no, no, here we are real far from bucking them Oh, man, gay gareth reynolds, we love you to death. That was fucking fantastic Thank you so much for having me. I love you. Congrats on the special. Yeah, congrats. Thank you very much England weed and the rest. Yeah, all things comedy over there on the youtube Yeah, you can just go to my website gareth reynolds.com and there's a little thing there You can click the special. I love it. You got the tour coming up. Anything you want the folks out there to know hit them

Plug away anything. Listen to the dollop. Uh, you can go to gareth reynolds.com for tour dates I'll be all over the midwest and I'll be back on the east coast and I'm always on the road Great, man. We love it kippy. What do you got for him? Uh, our new tour is announced We're coming all over the place march april may and june get those tickies now before those shows sell out We love you first stop mariland gang. We love you to death gareth. Thank you so much. Thank you. Pleasure. We'll see you next week Peace