Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Ever Been Punched by an Adult?! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: December 15, 2025

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Quince: Go to https://Quince.com/garbage for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Ethos: Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get your free quote at Ethos dot com slash AYG. That’s E-T-H-O-S dot com slash AYG. https://www.ethos.com/ayg BetterHelp: Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/GARBAGE Helix Sleep: Go to https://Helixsleep.com/garbage for 20% Off Sitewide. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. You know it. It's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we found that at the group to be classy. Yeah. Just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash.

I'm your host, Dave Troly coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootie's in the new edition. She's having some trouble with her CPAT machine. Okay. Keeps giving her a red mark on her nose. Uh-huh. And apparently, lines under her eyes. I can see the straps.

Those strap marks are all over, you dog. That's not about me. That's crazy. You think that sweater's gonna disguise the fucking... It looks like you're playing football, middle linebacker or something. God damn, dude. Damn, dude. I got to stop wearing my punters in helmet.

Holy shit. I had to make my own strap because my shit's all busted. It's got duct tape on it and I took a bandana or a headband and I made my own strap, which I think if I designed it. What is your apartment in a post-apocalyptic world? Go buy new gear. What do we do? It takes a pain in the ass to get this stuff.

I got a guy on 71st Street. I got to go up there and take a look around and see what he's got. Antooney got kicked out of the Rockettes last night. They threw a kick, and she thought they were making a move on her. Fuck, I should have went with that. My co-s is coming at you from across the table. This is what we call a family episode, just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. He is the CEO of RU Garbage.

He's a small, he's a successful, small business owner. So are you. I know, but you. For the listener, earlier today, he goes, explain it to me like I've never been on the internet. That's, that's also a successful business. I don't know, blogs. I know blobs

The movie Which I never saw Metallica R Metallica Okay Alright we're losing A rosy smell the Kevin James Ryan

Is here today with this everybody What up gang Shout out to the motherfucking homies dog And the bozos I thought this was patronage again About the soul sisters And the soul sisters Stop it that's for patron

I'll be giving out the goods Well I want to get them to sign up Easy Dullam I'm a soul Let them find it on their own. Gang, shout out. Please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify.

Just check the numbers. We are climbing the charts. What are we at? I don't know. Small business owner. We're doing good. Q4. I think we're like 30-something in comedy, and we're in the top 200 on...

Top 200,000 in a regular podcast. Fucking goddamn Regis Philman just released a new podcast. Jesus. That's what I got. I got fucking beef. We got to go out with every goddamn A-lister has got a fucking podcast.

Ordering down the industry. I know. What happened? You had your chance. Yeah. You're not my fucking Hollywood chewed you up and spit you out. Now you come trying to

fucking eat off my plate, taking food out of my humongous son's mouth. You got a big boy over there. So, all right, listen, obviously, and then the greatest website of all time. Yes. Join the undercover brothers and the soul sisters

over there on Patreon. Over 15,000 members of the that fucking army that platoon pavilion something it's a regiment somebody said and it's 30 000 boots on the ground because there's 15k over there that's pretty good everybody's got two feet theoretically well we've gone over this there's a couple of one footers who have hit me up yeah and said they're making a they're making a support group for each other definitely short on a couple of toes they keep walking in circle um yeah and then obviously uh the 2026 tour is on sale right now get those tickets we're uh we're posting up in some cities for the weekend we got a weekend how you do we got a

couple new things coming. Some cities will be doing five shows, so get them tickets. And listen, this isn't just marketing ploy. They're selling fast. Club, they're small rooms, and they're going. Don't be hit. I ain't adding to fucking Wednesday show, okay? I will.

I'm a small business owner. I got a kid now. I can't be fucking, I can't move to Austin for two and a half weeks. What are we going to get him in the act? Bring him down. Let him open. Let him close. What are you doing?

Charlie Chaplin was doing shows at like two years old. Uh-huh. So when he's two? How long is that? Listen, you're just trying to buck your responsibility. I want to hang out. I need a new friend. Get this kid right in tudies.

I want somebody to hang out with that. That has a little respect for him. Uh-huh. Well, find someone out. Go talk to Tommy's kid or something. Shout out to the little guy. We got cute little guy. We have a second generation on the R.E. Garbage family.

How crazy is that? It's very, it's very, very crazy. And also, this is new to us now that I, I, I'm the first one with a kid on the team. We go out, we do the meet and greets, the whole nine yards. Everybody's coming up. I didn't realize that there's like a parental bond. Do you know what I mean? So it's like, people are like, oh, you know, my wife's six months.

We got a four month. I love that. This is our first night out after having a kid. He's two weeks. I said, what? The fuck back to the house. Kids home starving, probably. Yeah, when they come up and the wife or the girlfriend's pregnant, that's so sweet.

Yeah. Usually ice me. I wanted to ask you this before we get to. into the listener cues. I'm all ears. Two things, real quick. It's going to be way more than two things. If I know my bug man, it's going to be a couple two treat things.

No more bug man. I've hung up the antennas. And got your cool sweater on that. I just fit into this. I bought this for a funeral about two and a half years ago. It didn't fit then. It kind of fits now. Uh-huh.

I had to do a lot of, man, I had a helicopter pulling this thing. I think Mr. Fantastic Deep cut Saw the movie Actually loved it Great Two things

You're a suburbanite You got Big Joe Gambino I'm gonna have the Big Joe I had the big Joe And all the boys down in a little Italy Oh I'm sorry

I'm stylish He rocks a trench coat I want to start getting into a trench Uh huh I'll live it It's just very I'm not I'm not trashing you

I just No I'm just, listen, I got to call balls and strikes. You come in here in a fucking set of loafers and a fucking quarter zip. I mean, this is a quarter zip? Yeah. Oh, it is? Probably.

Somebody just asked me if I'm wearing quarter zips. Yes, I am. That's a quarter zip. Yeah. Polo. Sure. DXL polo. Rollo.

I just hated the foil. They stunk. My brother would get them once every once a year. That chocolate's whack. I remember sitting there going That's your tour That's an old candy to be eating In the back of this Fort Torres

Yeah You look nice That's a Carhart shirt they said Shout out to the boys over there Carhart They recognize talent and fashion icon when they see it They reached out to the boy directly And said let us greet you

It came 48 hours That email came 48 hours after I put a big order in myself Huh So I said hey what is the return policy on the stuff I just bought? I love Carhart They do big guys sizes too listen don't be doing it we can't be where you got you're the polo you're fucking

send all mediums you're the what am i jerk off you're the polo guy i can timmy d's the polo guy so you're stealing everybody's shit find your own thing no i told you i got now you're now you're encroaching on big joe gambino's dick i got you're gonna have you in the back of that hundice around get a visit from mario bosco straight to me out listen well i'm trying you're i told you we didn't get to one of the two things you're in the suburbs mm-hmm okay i saw patty do this move that she's been doing for a long time boning the neighbor sorry sorry that was a little harsh i apologize you for no maybe she has i don't know okay okay you pull in the driveway

i mean don't don't fucking don't don't give me at it to you start up with me now give you a smack back in the old day slapped the shit out of you this sweater is so hot I'm so sweet. You're like a fat kid on Easter, dude. You're going to be, it's going to take that off in 20 minutes. That's why the winner sucks. Can I change, Mom? You wear a sweater outside.

He's getting to somebody, especially around our holidays. You get in there, there's 55,000 people in the house. The heat's on. Somebody open the fucking screen door. I'm dying. Hate that. T-shirt and jeans. And when are we switching over to we're all wearing the same thing that in the future we're supposed to have?

What's that happened? That's just Seinfeld bit. It was a good bit in the night. 90s and it still works today. He don't need it. Got all that money. He ain't rocking a fucking quarter zip. I'll tell you that.

He wears him all the time. I don't know. He wears that. He wears that like a net jet hat or like a private, what are they called? Personal planes. Private jet hats and a blazer and a nice pair of sneakers. Personal plane. A peepee.

Personal paying plane. Do you pull, do you grab the mail in the car? Do you pull up to the mailbox and take the mail out when you're in the car and I'm pulling the drive. You're not going to like this. Well, you what? What the hell? Do you have a P.O. box?

Fucking Zolinski over here. Kekrinsky. Our house. Unabomber. What was his name? Hey, mind on there. You done? Deep cut.

Kiklinski. No. That's the ice man. Oh, yeah. Cut that. I don't want that fucking guy after me. He's dead. I got it.

I'll fucking, but yeah, okay, that's what he wants you to think. Man, kill the ice cream, man. How mad do you got to be? Take it, Zinski. By the way, I've seen an ice cream joint downtown. More of an Ed Clemper kind of guy. Who's Ed Klumper? Clemper.

Clemper? Clemper? No, Ed Clemper, isn't it? Ed Kemp? No, isn't it Kempter? Klemper? Kemper? Yeah.

He's the lumbering gentleman, the Golden State Killer, or one of them. The guy they caught in a wheelchair? I forget. Man. They never catch any of those guys in a prime. No, they was catching when they're old guys. Yeah. I could do that.

Yeah, I could do that. Catch you fucking. Get some fucking geriatric bitch. They never caught anybody back then. They couldn't. Dude, I'm big into that stuff. I watch all the docs. They couldn't.

There was no movement of technology. There was no movement of information. We got to start solving some cases. We got to do you of me. Put our heads together. beat up some old man did you kill them broads i knows you oh we got the wrong house oh this is memory brook lane shit i'm sorry sir so what do you do with the mail the mail uh we the mail's on the front of the house we have one of those hanging boxes our mail's delivered

by foot oh you prick i knew you're you make that guy get out i don't make them get out what do you mean make him get out he walks if i was a mailman he's not pulling up getting out and doing it he walks along yeah he doesn't have a you don't know what he does i don't know how he gets around man being a suburban mailman you don't get a you don't get one of them cars that sucks how he being on the other side of road throws it in do you ever send mail out you put the the flag up what am i secretary in the 1940s patty does that i see the flag up someone's someone's not getting paid uh no i've never

i've never put anything in a residential mailbox to get picked up and sent out never once i never trust it no you put something in like the blue mailbox next go oh i do that i never seeing that again what what are you mailing what do you mean i know it's on a christmas card to me i'm a small business owner really really what i'm a small business owner yeah we have to mail stuff we do and you do it i've yes i've mailed a lot of things what do you mail uh checks uh agreements that has that coming what it's not to you and there's checks showing up are we supposed to get another stimulus check or something

like that i heard rumors all just give give give we have to this it calls money we have to send money to people too we know there's all this stuff all this stuff all these lights these buildings there's all these people working for us they all got to get paid guy this ain't just fucking thought these were all interns this isn't the gravy train Yeah, I mean, it's your lease, leases, insurance. I mean, a lot of that's E whatever now. But yeah, no, for sure, you got to send stuff. Follow-up question.

We had this weekend, or last weekend, two weekends ago, whatever it was. How do you feel at some point about the coffee pot on the table at a breakfast joint? Whether it is, give you the pot. We talked about it briefly. It's amazing. It's the best. You control, you don't got to look for them. That should be standard operating procedure.

That was more in a restaurant. Diner's a little different because diner are running and gunning. Diner's are typically like kind of straight lines too. So you can, the sections are smaller. It's not like a big floor restaurant where they're running around and they're going back to kitchen. A diner is typically small and they're running and going to topping y'all. And that's part of the diner charm.

Of course. Hey, let me top you off, honey. Let me top you all. You know a little more, a little more. How about we were at one on a road? We were all doing our D.C.s at breakfast as we do. Mm-hmm. Holy Trinity.

And the guy gave us them to go. He goes, you guys want any more Diet Coke? We said, now we're okay. Came over styrofoam cups, ice lid, straws, just in case you wanted them for the road, which I did. Yes. We all cruised out, fucking shaking the ice. It was great. Nice DC.

And I feel like, I feel styrofoam cup DCs or sodas in general. There's never a lot in there. There's always a lot of ice and never a lot of liquid. I love that, though. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm saying it was the perfect amount. for the walk-and-talk that we had. I am staunch on the record.

I don't know how Sonic gets away with it. I don't know who they're paying off, but shout out to them. We need to bring styrofoam cups back. Yeah, it's crazy. Chick-fil-A's still banging styrofoam, too. It's crazy. You ever get a lemonade in one of those things?

No. They know what they're doing. I'd go on the record. I've never ordered anything but a Coke. I'd never gotten anything out of a fountain or at a restaurant. Root beer, Dr. Pepper. Yeah, that.

I'm never doing less. Lemonade, the ice tea. No, no, no. Uh-uh. You know, a lot of fast food places have frozen drinks now. You don't do any of them? No, that's not. Strawberry sluppy, slurpy, slushy?

No. Did you have a stroke? Excuse me? Do you have a strokey? I don't get that to the papaya, the papaya dogs, too. Oh, who's having a stroke now, dickhead? Okay, fucking big man's on edge today. It's the sweater.

It's itchy. At the papaya dogs, too. here in New York, which they closed the one down in a village. I was down, down, down, down, down there. On the corner? Down there doing spots at the cell. No way. I like getting out over in that side of the neighborhood, the more, the, the gaborhood,

if you were, whatever that. I get out, I walk over, I see if I'm, see if I get any foot traffic, you know what I mean? See if anybody hits on me or if I hit on anybody, you know what I mean? I do a little cat call it. Mm-hmm. They do a little cat. Mm-hmm. No.

And I fuck, I get up there, and I'm like, that corner's dark as shit. That sucks. Boom. the fuck down um that place was a refuge if you had like five bucks on you go get a couple diesels but they serve high a juice they serve the juices and i don't like that i love that i'm not saying you're not you're allowed i like my it's very functional it's like when i'm eating i like a dice i like a call i don't i like all that stuff ancillary to my meal i don't like that kind of a slurpy and your meal that ain't it a slurping a pretzel when you're driving in from

the gas station in the back seat of car completely different That's a snack that ain't a meat. Soft pretzel and a Coke slurpy. Mm-hmm. I don't think pork products and, like, fruit juices go together to me. Hmm. Right? That seems great.

Like mustard and then like a tropical drink. Well, it's interesting enough, that was the basis of the design of Papaya King. I know. The Recession Special was that. No, but back in the day when they started it, there's some empirical evidence that shows that... I've used empirical, like, twice, and you've been stealing it. Just so you know. Just so you know.

There's some evidence that shows that papaya is great for, digestion and that's why the gentleman who's taught a papaya king used uh papaya juice have your hot dog have your hot dog with your sauerkraut and your mustard if you will okay ketchup if you're a heathen yeah but then they do like the baked beans and the chili dogs and the cheese it's like you should that shouldn't be mixing with the papaya listen where where are they making normal papaya where are people eating papaya drinking papaya tropical places they do it in they're not doing chili cheese dogs on a beach you know papa new guinea you know mama new guinea you know mom a new guinea

Hey, yeah, that's like, it's like not, they just, it's church and states. Church and state. Separation. Yeah. Which I never knew what that meant. Do you have an idea now? No. Yeah, you have to guess.

That the church shouldn't be involved in state business? Yeah. Huh. That's why the United States has a separation of church and state. Really? Yeah. Wow. I'd like to go there someday.

Where are the United States? Check it out. Get him a pie, a dog. Kip, let's talk about Quince. Shout out to Quince. Cold mornings, holiday plans. This is when I need my wardrobe to just work. I don't need any fuss.

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I just wanted to say that my hometown diner, gem restaurant, shout out to it on Decal Pike. They do coffee pots on the table. also do a chip beef that'll melt your face off. Now, this is, we do another, how do you feel about, you know, we stop at a lot of rogue, bad gas, we're on the road a lot, so you stop at a bad gas station, a bad truck stop that, you know, in the middle of nowhere.

Not a loves fan, that's what you're asking. Yeah, not a loves fan, a little grime time. It's not for us. It's for truckers. A hundred, a hundred. And shout out to them. Shout out to them. Long haul.

Keeping the country working. Truck. How do you feel about the open coffee pot at a gas station? Never go near it. Right? I can't do it. I'm a germ-I'm a weird germaphobe guy. What do we work together?

That's wild, right? Crazy. What is all of a Mr. Coffee sitting there? I can't do it. And, like, sometimes we get there and I want a coffee, and I'm like, it's burnt. That thing just keeps getting hot. I've used the machine. Also, I just picture people putting their fingers in there and stuff.

Just like anything. That open. Dude, because you go to a loves, there's showers, like. So there shouldn't be strangers showering within 10 feet of my exposed cough. It's a lot of skin cells. A lot of dokey matter. Yeah, I can't do that either. But in the same context of the papaya juice and hot dogs.

Please. Our first question, this is from that one Detroit fan, which I've never thought of this. Be curious if this has ever crossed your radar. This from that one Detroit fan. Never had one read. Harbors to enjoy your McDonald's order with an alcoholic beverage. Wow. Whoa.

That's how the fuck? And again, this is the church and state in my head. I love a burger and a beer. I love sitting at the bar getting a burger. We're going to do a burger, a beer, a couple beers, start the night, whatever. You've seen me do it a lot. That's not, and you're going to push back on this. That's not a burger to, I can't.

No, I, that's not a burger to me. 100% agree with you. That's fast food. That's McDonald's. It's its own thing. It's its own category. All comes in one bag. All should be eating in that bag.

An external drink like a beer to me doesn't mix in. I'd love your thoughts. As a guy who enjoys an alcoholic beverage and McDonald's. I do enjoy an alcoholic beverage. Thank you very much for noticing that. It's hard not too. The way I look at it is that McDonald's... That'd be great if an Uber eats guy wants.

Not now. Is there a Henry here? Two of them walk up. There's a go and these guy. I don't have a pin for you, sir. Six, four, nine, three. I've always looked at this, similar to your philosophy,

that the fast food. Common ground between us. That the fast food. Don't get nuts. You're still a prayer. My enemy's enemy. Is it my enemy? That makes lovers?

Maybe we should kiss. I've always looked at the fast food. And McDonald's is, yeah, it's not a burger. It is, but it isn't. It's not a burger. It's, it's, listen. Everybody understands. Hold on, first of all, what we're saying, you know.

No, listen, no one's going to get up, let you do this. No one's going to get upset at what you're saying. I'm worried about McDonald's getting upset. Listen, you're a, you will have a special place in my heart. Don't be, don't be crazy. Mike, but that's, the oversight. That's after. Speaking of which, I got a nuclear stress test coming up a couple weeks.

Who's doing that, Einstein? Coomboom! On a treadmill. Fucking getting it done. My joke is, what are they saying? Remember, break your balls for a half hour? Bring my wife from my mother-in-law, and I ain't doing. I like the better the first time you did it to me yesterday.

You thought I was going to give you that? It's Q4. I'm not breaking out new jokes until next year. As adversarial as we've been to? that you thought I was going to give you a fucking a reheated bit in public you're nuts have you never seen the program talk about a coffee pot sitting there getting I would expect you to do the same thing I look at McDonald's McDonald's and fast food in general McDonald's is my favorite and there is nothing on the planet that is like that and say what you want about it I understand there's some crack pots out there that say it's not good for you etc etc but that's after

drunk that's when you're drunk you're not imbibing an alcohol during that however i do respect that move a quarter pounder with cheese and a fucking ice cold garage beer sounds delicious i don't think so i this is the way it's not strong enough food to me the buns aren't it's not a it's not it's not a it's not a bar burger yeah it's not dense enough it's like it's like it's it We'd get this, you need a lighter, a lighter drink to pair with that. You know what I mean? Like a fenta. Sure.

I love fashy as shit. No, it's not. It's European. No, it's trash. I have a feeling. It's good, but it's, I mean, listen, you pose that picture. You shouldn't be drinking, listen, we're all trashy. They're making a lot of moves.

You shouldn't be drinking colored soda at a certain point. I said this to him like a year. Yeah, it's just like, listen, every now and then a little dabble do you? I'm not saying. you can't do that, but, you know. McDonald's has a strawberry phantom. That's delicious. I've heard.

It's crazy. I'm a scientist, man. I have to do my work. Okay. I need to know what's out there. Fair enough. Did I dip too hard into the McDonald's gold sauce this summer? Which, why the fuck did you get rid of that?

Try. You didn't try it, did you? No. I haven't eaten McDonald's. Me either. Super. Okay. The guy who sounds very.

I haven't. You had it. I've had it. Yes. See, that's what I need from you. Just take the fucking bullet for me. Okay? Buddy, what do you think I've been doing?

This guy's got Tommy guns sprayed in his back for you. What are you talking about? This guy's pulling himself over the finish line. You're going, take one more for me. When you've been recently on an episode going, all right, I had McDonald's not that long ago. Patty's on the phone. Take the call. Tell her I'm dead.

I thought of it. Okay. Great question. Yeah, great question. Never thought about it. Maybe like I, now I can recall having a filet-o fish on the beach while drinking. A glass of wine? No, you were drinking beers.

Well, you're getting filet your fish on the beach? Someone rolled up. Did you catch it? My, what? It's like a Long-Donsilvers commercial. Do you talk about Long-Jolvers? Someone rolled. We were on a beach drinking at Rockaway Beach, no, Fort Tilden Beach out there.

A topless beach, New York City. Really? Crazy. Kind of action was out there. And I'm sure they were very turned on by you and your tartar sauce face. A filet of fish on the beach. Someone rolled up with a bat. We were there all day.

Someone was meeting us two, three hours later, so we were already drunk. He rolled up. Who was a grimace? He was showing up with filet of fish. And I can't believe you gave me nothing on that. What? A grimace line? I should have saved that for next year.

he just showed a he was stopping it and he was like you know what like there was eight of us on the beach and he was the last one coming he saw i'm gonna roll in and fucking grease the boy got like you know five burgers five these five of these five of these and that was i that was that was the time i was actively drinking and also eating so that but that is the only time i don't know where i would ever if i couldn't get home and be like crack a bee i'm also like on the move when i'm eating fast food you know what i mean okay i don't have beers in the car anymore trying to be better i'm kidding obviously i could see it with like a coke a red wine nice evening a coke yeah you're at home yeah got your macdonald you're setting up in front of

the tv a nice little cozy evening uh-huh i can see it with old red wine a red one what about where's the coke come in because i think they would mix well together well somebody did you're saying An end of Coke? Yeah, like a holy trinity of drinks with the McDonald's in front of... Okay. Didn't Sophia Vigara or Duolipa or somebody do coke and red wine? I think that was a good thing. Like that, you know.

Chicks were doing it. That and they were putting pickles in their Dr. Pepper. That's what Dea Lepa was doing, yeah. Was she? The pickles, yeah. By the way, Sydney... All that, bro, thinking, next. Sidney, Sweeney.

Really going page six there. Plain diesel. does a plain diesel, right, plain out dog. Probably wants to get with me, because it's well documented. Kevin does a plane diesel, that's why. Thanks for taking the words literally right out of my mouth. Fucking broadcasting 101.

Hey, let me say a fact about you that you're about to say yourself. It's crazy. Did I tell you about the baby last night? I mean, I tell you, it's kids a piss. She does a plane diesel. You know who else does one of those? Buddy of mine, small business owner, Kevin Ryan. I like that, though, and you know what?

Why do you like it? I feel like I've caught some heat from you for it. You might have. But you like it when she does it because she's got nicer canes and probably a bigger hog. Very talented actor. Love her. Takes a lot of risk in her films, too. She doesn't give enough credit.

Yeah, it's called side boob. Okay. These guys have involved with it. I'm in the industry, Kevin. What's that? Big tits falling out of a sweater industry I can't wear a t-shirt with this It gets too gets caught

I'd have to put Velcro in the t-shirt and pat it down That's good That's ideas you should be coming with What fat guy Velcro Strap it to the pants I did have it I have a patent pending on it right now I cut you I just had to explain

You just hit me with what's the internet Talk to me like I've never had the internet You're not supposed to believe you got a patent pending Who you'll lure you from fucking shark tank I got a I got a hey She's the younger one or the older one Younger You know I feel like that Barbara Cochran's probably a Tomcat

They pitched us Mr. Wonderful Who I would love to have We were on the road or something It couldn't work but they're trying You think if I was like hey man can I have 20 grand You could give it to me No

He's out He paid a play around here And for that reason I know For the reason you're a dick he's got cash they all do yeah no shit okay then why'd you tell me he did what the fuck that dude dave that is not a conversation with age foley i did that to the guy you do it all the time it's crazy i did that to the guy at the um coffee shop this morning uh you're inadvertently an asshole

and you don't get it everybody stopped and turned and i was on his side and you've been saying i've been being a dick it's crazy because he was like uh yeah they're They don't, they're not allowing, allowing dogs in here anymore. Uh-huh. Because something, some bullshit. And I was like, yeah, but wait, what about the places in the city? And he's like, yeah, well, yeah, you, I get excited. I know what it comes off is not to, listen, I am a stone cold dickhead.

I'm not fucking judging you. I'm just saying. Stone cold dick. I'm just saying, break the glass. That might be a good shirt, stone cold dickhead. SED? Cippy 316, stone cold dickhead. That's good.

Cut it. Print it. Marks a shark, get on it. Um, yeah, that's very. You hit people with that, and it's... Because I don't suffer fools. I don't stand for injustice. I don't stand for injustices.

All right. You are actually nuts. I've turned on the plane diesel. One laziness. She has. No, it's not. This would, honestly, this is before this. This is from you.

I'll give you credit. This is from you. This is very... Very, very. This is from you. Timely. That the hottest girl at the moment likes playing. Also, you're at, dude, that's how good the algorithm is.

It's feeding you hot chicken pork products united in the same story. Dude, I mean, we are cooked. You don't need Terminators. All righty, let's see. This one's from Heather. Is it garbage that my family and I had to monitor my 91-year-old grandpa's online purchases? Because he accidentally ordered $600 worth of Hot Pockets. Shout out, Papa, Bill.

The Hot Pockets outlived him. That's a lot of fucking Hot Pockets. What's the price of a hot pocket? One box of Hot Pocket going for. And then small business, Matt, divide that by $600. See how many boxes that would be. And then we'll times it by two for how many actual hot pockets there is. About $5.99.

So that's 100 boxes of Hot Pockets. 100, 2 packs. Right? Is that a two pack? Four pack. Four pack. That's all they give you. Really?

Yeah, four pack. Back when I was banging, they were two packs. That's even worse. They would get those magnum bars. They give you three. Magnum bars? Yeah, the popsicles. They give you three.

Talk about popsicles. Frozen, you know, the ice cream. Okay. Three. What kind of, that, what a dick move? Uh-huh. Three? First of all, I don't know two people.

You know? Three's odd. Now, I agree. If you're a family, you've got to buy two. That was a great, Brian Regan bit about the serving size on Fig Newton's. It was two. And he's like, he's doing the guy type of making the boxes. He goes, hey, Bill, get over here.

It was a typo, but it's going out like that. Just leave it. Fig Newton's. Yeah, that's crazy. I do think, I'm so funny, I think back when I was banging, And they were, I was buying them at, I was buying a lot of them at the CVS, or the right aid on Broad and Diamond. No, broad and South Carolina. Good for you.

The lean pockets, man, and those, they would, the chicken in the chicken palm lean pocket. Mm-hmm. Very specific. Mm-hmm. Was perfectly, the chicken was perfectly uniform like these rubbery white. Yeah. Squares. Yeah.

And, man. Look like stride gum. Oh, yes. Yes, and, man, you couldn't, I don't know what, it was, they were so rubbery that it would, if you didn't fully get it all in your mouth and got your incisors on it, it ruined the bite for me. I had to chuck it. It was like, heartily. Yeah. Oh, you know, I just thought of, has anybody ever thought to throw a hot pocket in the oven?

Oh, yeah. Really? I think that there's, I'm sure there's cooking it. But let's take that AI. If you're making hot pockets, I don't think, you're not. Probably great, though. Sure. Or deep fry it.

It takes 30 minutes. What the fuck? Jesus Christ. I got court in 30 minutes. I got court in 15 minutes. It's crazy. That dime difference between the oven and a microwave. Man.

Talk about immediate gratification. Mm-hmm. Which, you know, I have trouble with long-term gratification. Planning for that. That's what they're telling me. Downtown. Who's that the government? fucking a southern DA

Doing a lot of work on myself these days That's good buddy We're happy Gang, this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp First happy holidays to everybody We're all going to be meeting with family And stuff like that You'll want to be present around the holidays

What a line that is You want to be in the room You know what I'm saying Maybe in past years you weren't present Maybe you had a lot of things on your mind But now you use BetterHelp to talk these out The point of talk therapy is to be present in your life and BetterHelp can help you do that.

Did you do that on purpose? The holiday present and present? No, no, no, no. That's great. Presence. Present. You want to be present. I know.

You want to be in the room. Like a holiday. The presence of presents. Listen, if I get one present, it's going to be a problem. Okay. Better help therapists work accordingly to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the U.S. The therapist matched commitment.

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slash garbage that's better help help.com slash garbage do it yes kip let's talk about helix shout out to helix let's remind the folks about helix they know about helix of course the bozos and the homies they all know about helix and gang it's the holiday season you want a present that's gonna stop the show i mean listen you pop that baby out of the bag christmas morning first of all you're gonna knock you can knock your aunt uncle off the couch you're going to the california kings over there listen if you've been having a bad year and you need some good PR. Boss one of them.

Whoa. Boss one of that. Hey, Uncle Jim, I got you for the Pollyanna. Open that up. Bing! It's going to get you a tie. Clear the room with that thing. Gang, Helix is the absolute best mattress you're ever going to own. Yes. Do yourself a favor. Get over there. You take the quiz. They match you up with the perfect mattress

for you. You'd be sleeping like a baby. Yeah, this is the year. This time of year, everybody's getting sick. Right. You need rest, rest, rest, rest. I was sick. I was sick all last week. We're on the road. I'm sick. I'm da-da-da.

I needed, I was sleeping in different hotel rooms every night. I needed my bed. Yes. I couldn't get my feet back under me. I got home, slept in my bed. First good night's sleep I had all week. Woke up, feeling like a million bucks. This is my own personal.

Slep in my helix. Comment. Yeah. All right. My research shows that Helix cuts the flu in half. The only speaking of, that's anecdotal evidence. Go to helixleksleep.com slash garbage for 20% offsite wide, baby. That's helixleep.

sleep.com slash garbage for 20% offsite wide. Make sure you enter the show name, Are You Garbage? In the post-purchase survey, so they know a boy sent you. He'll at sleep.com slash garbage do it. Yes. Let's see here. This one, this is a great name. Hey, Foley owes me money.

Ever get punched by an adult? Let me explain. That's great, dude. That's great. Because at every dirtbag's life, right? At every dirt bag, at some point, you put yourself in a wrong situation. Ours was my boy Jeff's graduation party from high school. I know where this is going.

And there's booze involved. There's other people different. And when that collection of people meet, not everybody's, you're all, it's different dirtbags at different levels, different levels of inebriation, different lifestyles. And that will come out there. Just had a conversation about this with a friend of mine who has a kid in college. Parents weekend

Dad's going out to the frat Would you ever What Do that Yeah I can go now I'm fucking pre-gaming You leave at 9 o'clock

I think you go Yeah you do the pre-gamer All right I'm going to get out of here Me and the other dads are going to go get a burger and a beer Yeah You guys I'm not going to the fucking net at the tailgate one thing if you say it's like the game and you're not like you can't go into a place right

i think you have to what do you mean don't you for fraternity houses they invite the parents in so parents weekend is also different than like a dad's weekend which a dad's weekend was they show up and all do coke it's yeah it's like that's all the dad i know those dads it's a problem really if it's a dad's weekend it's pan someone's getting them come someone's coming home with a black eye no shit yeah uh parents weekend is yeah you're gonna come into the frat house but it's more like they're in the great room yeah and you're ready for them so it's like and then you're all putting on airs of like oh mom and dad are here we're not doing cakes they're gonna go home around 10 and then you do have some dads who stay without the wives those are the ones that get in trouble yeah but they'll

do straight like dad's week where they like they go and just like they're getting fucked up And they're like, let's get a hook It's like all nine yards What if your mom went up there I got banged out by some older brother Or something like that Jesus Algo rhythm

That'd be tough I've heard of bad stories I've never heard of that one Really? Yeah That's, yeah It's happening in a show my I'm watching

A show? Yeah Dallas Dallas Now You're watching Dallas? What the fuck is it? It's the wife from Billions

Larry Hagman, the old show Dallas? Larry Hagman Larry Hagman He was a big TV star I believe you Laughing at the name No it's like the new

Desperate House What Doug That's what you watched You watched Doug It was your generation And Dallas was yours Those are the two Contemporary comparisons

Dallas and the cartoon Doug Yes Okay And I was watching G.I. Joe USA It's not the hunting wives Yes

The hunting wives Who are you man What happened to you? I used to get Dollar dogs Street. I'm a father. Sometimes we need to grow up.

I'm not like a personal. We don't. You just attack me for watching a television show with my... I'm having a club soda wearing a sweater. I'm all grown up. That I don't think wives is wild. You watching it? My girl was watching it.

Yeah, my girl, my girl. My girl. My groom all my side. You was going to risk gay television? No, my wife was... It's risque. It's risque. And she's banging a high school kid or something like that.

A high school kid. Something like that. Jesus. Is this on Netflix? Yeah. Shout out. But the rest of that story is Ever get, so this is ever get punched by

Please, I'm sorry. This is a little risque and I don't, we're not condone anything in this story. Of course not. But goes to show Situation, dirtbag situations. My sister's sweet 16, the DJ's assistant made a move on one of her friends.

This is a problem. Write this down. This is a problem. Right? A problem. Blum, but listen, this guy's probably 30, right? The assistant? No, this guy in the story.

You've got to assume he's, the average listening age is all slightly. Gotcha. You know, it's 30, whatever. This guy's 35 right in this story. Okay. So it's at least 20 years ago. Okay. That's when that was, it was a even different time.

Do you see what I'm saying? I don't know why you're hanging me up to dry on it. I'm saying a dirt bag. would think that's more acceptable even then of like yeah i do this of course you know what i mean like he's it's insane to do but that guy's yeah that going like it's a sweet gig you know what i mean like you watch some music videos from the 80s you're like whoa crazy crazy so my sister sweet 16 the dj's assist dude you're not even a dj you're the dj's assistant what dj needs an assistant unless you're doing a btha well i i want to push back on this i grew up there was a lot

lot of production comp this was big there was a lot i don't want to name them by name but there was even like teenage clubs yeah in philly yeah shampoo yeah but shampoo is a little yeah but there was even there was even more like in fucking industrial complexes in the outskirts like not shampoo these places weren't advertising on a radio raves no i mean no like Adults were putting on dance parties for kids. Yeah, just, and the DJs, then the DJs would go to these things, like the bar mitzvahs, and they had dancers. That was a big thing.

I'm a dancer for the thing. You go get the party stuff. Just weird, weird vibes. I just saw Billy Corrigan did a bar mitzvah. Hey, someone hit us up. Really? You wouldn't Billy Corrigan. Got all that record money.

How many albums that guy sold? But think about what he needed to do, get out of bed. I'll do it for a 100th of that. Huh. It's like when Vinnie Chase goes to the bar mitzvah, it's like it's a million bucks or whatever. That was a favor for the studio, wasn't it? That's a favor for the studio. You should start doing some favors for the studio.

That was Ari's kid. I'll do some favors to the studio. What do you need? I actually have a charity event that I'm trying to get you involved in. Oh. No, don't sell that. Don't, don't, don't, don't make it seem like I'm pushing back. you hit me with here's the setup we wouldn't want to do something like that right i said i'll write a

check really yeah i do i donate this time of year to every you know what my wife just did what what you're donating money yeah what crazy i have some left over um yeah i donate money uh to local charities i do who this is a guy so in denial i know i just don't easy you don't easy you're Who are you donating money? Don't even lie anymore. How much are we talking? I don't put my business out there. But I'll tell you what, my wife just did.

My wife reached out to four local families who are struggling with buying gifts this year and bought gifts for the kids. That's very sweet. She probably got robbed, but you know what I mean? Facebook is full of fucking savages. I can't get her off that. No, but yeah, we do this every time of the time of year.

You should give back. No, you don't. Yes, I do. No, you don't. I give back. Luke, call him out. You don't need to lie. I give back.

It's okay. Like, someone does it. Like, be like, I'll try to do that this year too. You can do it this year. Yeah. It's still, there's still time. I work in a soup kitchen. Get your checkbook out.

Panera bread. Eat all the leftovers. Get your checkbook out right now. Make a, make a checkbook. Make an on-air donation. I'm holding you this. Make a donate. Luke, look up local local charities right now.

You guys. dog no folly's about to flip the table yeah look over you got that picture of water I gotta wait till after the holidays well no you don't yes I do any hold a second yes I do any amount one Q4

any amount is good it's a tax right off it comes off the bottom line I give the fucking St. Jude's every time I go to DXL they're probably into me for like two grand that's bad to do that though I don't give me that's bad to do what you're doing Making me look bad You got a damn business party, a piece of shit Fucking snake in a grass

I got a big box store to come in here and buy this dump You'd be working for me Pets of shit I was thinking about that Because we're doing something small this year That maybe I would go and do something on Christmas You know I'd be great

Yeah Robbed the neighbor's house when they're at mass Ruin Christmas for another family And figure yours is already ruined Yeah, pretty much Might as well go ruin the Jenkins's too Fucking flip the tree over Walking out like Tony smiling

Turn the oven all the way up Burn the turkey Jesus Burn the turkey I'm saying What do you got? I'll sign them up right now For volunteering on Christmas Day Yeah, why you sign yourself up for Indeed

Right after that Fucking monster.com See what? looking for a little prick out there why you got one of them yes see i'm the less fortunate i get back to myself wouldn't you like to donate a penis do a guy like me what do you what do you get me involved in here i mean there's a million things you it's so easy i just said i'm okay give me something i could donate my time to because anybody can write a check no dogs left behind that's hot that's a hot dog charity dry dogs that's a dry hot dog

charity. See that's the way I get paid. What are we going to do with all these half-eaten hot dogs? Ladies and gentlemen. What do you got? Give me humans. St. John's bread in life.

Okay. Sounds culty. It sounds like that LAMPrimark shit or LAMRIC. Yeah, I'm not fucking killing myself with a pair of Nike's. I don't need him fucking getting indoctrine and then trying to convince me and I got to put him in a home or something like that. I don't need none of that. I got enough fucking brow.

I got a baby teeth in it home. And my wife's giving out all of our money to strangers on Facebook. Who may or may not have kids. Give me something I could do on Christmas Eve. Okay. 2027. The Emerald Idle Immigration Center needs to tell.

I'm not going to fucking Seattle. Go fight a bunch of fresh off the boat Irish guys. Tammany. Hot soup and fresh bread for everybody to get off. Vote for Tammany. Like the dead rabbit. out lord why don't you like help for a school

help on like put a like a production on what I don't know like a Christmas story or something you know how much time that would be this guy won't let me do a fucking crystal lake commercial

what are you talking about you don't let me do other stuff you keep me tight no no no don't fucking say you say that all the time and it is so not true he's not lending me out to some fucking hold on hold on stop saying lend you've heard that term probably on entourage

and you keep saying it stop for you have listen listen listen you have no offers that means when you're under contract when you're under contract with somebody and you want to do another production listen you try to spin this is we're business owners and then like I don't let

you do stuff you also have responsibilities to the business that you own yes Luke so you can't lock me in the fucking Jesus crazy superstar down in fucking swarthmore You got work to do here. What you may or may not have been passed on. I said I was too old for the part.

Jesus is timeless. I don't think I could lose the weight in time. With the Ryan Gosling. Pretty motherfucker. Stealing all my... Dude, I am pouring sweat. Dude, I am pouring sweat. It sucks.

It sucks. We got to put the air on. I feel like a sheep dog. You can volunteer to help the NYC Rat Pack for the Climmy to the rodent. What's the rat pack? It's the mayor's office of rodent mitigation. Oh, you nuts?

In this sweater? Is she coming from a mile away? Down in the tunnels with a BB gun? I would love that, dude. I would love that. If I was in a space suit, I would do that. I'm not going down there. Uh-uh.

That's scary. Plus, there's the mole people down there. Yeah, who can't see it. They, like, they've switched to night vision. They've been down there so long. Like an angler fish. Yeah. Hanging a mic and I got it up.

Get me. I thought I'd catch you. That's how fish catch you. Oh, what's that? I like a mic and Ike. Uh-huh. Spark a future this fall, mentor a New York City high school student. That's something I could do.

To what? Drop out of college and fucking your second year. What are you talking about? What the fuck? I'm an accomplished... What? I can go back and teach an acting class. Any?

Dinklage. Shit. Fuck. This guy's got me. Ooh, man. Share your New York story in an interview. Neighborhood Stories Project. That's good.

Hey, I used to do blow here. There's a great wishy washing down. You guys looking for a jack shack? You know, a rubbing tuck. Ah, the city ain't the same no more. And it closed up a papaya dog that time. I'm devastated. Papaya helps it to digestion.

That's why I drink it. Do you remember the first time that we went to the one on the Upper West Side together? Yeah, 72nd. Yeah, I got two hot dogs and a grape drink. You looked at me like I was some alien. I said, I'll do. That grape drink is. I'll do two playing down.

Also, these fucking papaya kings, they give you this shit. You can't get the fucking, it's so thick. I got a hot diesel in my mouth. You can't get it. I'm hurting a roof of my mouth. Fucking eyes popping out of my head. Trying to wet my whistle a little. Yeah, I tell you what, the thick shakes.

Knock that shit off, man. I'm trying to drink this thing now. I feel like I'm doing that G4 test in the Air Force. Spinning me around. It was the first time I remember getting a chilly dog in about 98-degree weather to sweat my fucking it's off, dude. God damn. Aided and got right down on the subway.

I remember sitting on the platform. Nulches a shit. It was about fucking honor in 18. degrees on the platform. Had happened immediately that day. What? No, no, that's the same thing. I was trying to be healthy.

I had a green tea and I sucked it down. Man, when a hot, like a lot of liquid gets in you. Holy shit. It's like someone fucking turned the thermos up. I was stumbling around like I got chemo. Ice coffee, cold brew. Thin shakes. We want to drink them.

Shake, check, you're doing too much. That's too much. All right. This is overacting for beginners. What? What's that? Oh, God damn. We'll figure it out.

I'll do something this holiday season to help out. And I'll write a check. O.D. My mom's out. everybody's Christmas I can have the sirens have the lights flashing to the neighbor's house

ruin their Christmas they got the whole goddamn block everybody's out at their front step blessing you god damn I'd fall off the gurney

that would suck you have to come out the window or something probably you can't hook you around that split level staircase they got me up right like a couch

trying to hook it and you just pop it in you hook it and pop it dog that's also a very narrow if you went in that back bedroom your brother's room at patty's yeah that's a tight hallway i don't think i don't i don't think a gurney could get patty senators may deserved it oh god damn she's tight with the sheets down there too what she don't got comfort her she got i got nine sheets on me i sleep on freezing my balls off what's that goddamn dog comes into 530 in the morning he just starts barking right in your face roo roo roo woo woo over act back the fuck two 201 dog sounds okay we've messed we've mastered humans we're now moving into the animal

kingdom you know i don't need this they don't treat me like this up at the 92nd street why when i'm doing actors on actors actors actors all perk is that God damn. We're having a good time. It's the holiday season. Oh, God damn, dude. All right. This is from...

This is a double... A double Seinfeld reference. See if you can get them. It's just from Ned Isaacoff. Actually, yeah. A $10 comrade, buddy. $10 comrade. My buddy held his wedding reception at the mall food court where he met his bride, P.S.

She's a full-figured gal. That's crazy. It's cute. It's cute, man. And it's fun. Can you rent that whole thing out? Oh, no. They probably, I mean, listen, most food court malls are pretty empty now.

I don't know if you've been to a suburban mall. I mean, that'd be pretty sweet. Fucking jelly butter fucco hair. That's fucking typical. number's coming down that changed I was trying on my hair the poof I don't know it was you were just a different

guy when I looked back I swear acting what was her name what was Joey Bodefouca's broad's name god stop stop stop okay um fuck Mary Joe

no Isaacoff no man Isaacoff now you on the list I'm sorry I'm sorry that back um Brain of Bobbitt.

No. She cut off her husband's wiener. Joey Buttafuoco and, no, I got nothing. I remember, uh, give me the first, it's like Jody or, uh, so then, because Joey Badafouca's Gumar shot the Mrs. Badafouca in the face. Mary Joe Badafouca. Mary Joe. Mary Joe Badafuko.

What was the side? I want to say Jody. Caught one in the cheek. Amy. Amy. Fisher. Fischer. Fischer.

How's that teasing? You've done the whole thing. You're saying, go, go, go. You can rattle off charities that I can do. You clam up when he asks for something? You're giving bad stage direction, I just have to say. There you go. I would kind of revolt in your class.

Go, go, go. You wouldn't pass the audition. Either would you. Damn. I remember hearing about Lorena Babbitt. She did that and then threw it out the window, right? She, like, cut his wiener off when she was sleeping. You saw it?

Not the thing. I saw the porn that he did. Oh, he did one? Yeah, he was in the hospital, but the nurse came in and... That's fun. Well, yeah. And I remember she threw it into, like, throw it out the window in, like, a cornfield or something, or, like, some sort of, like, field.

Man, you'd never find mine. I remember going, man, that's got to be real dirty. Like, picking it back up and putting it on. That was, like, my main concern. I was six? What year did Lorina Bobbitt happened? You get an infection. Yeah, I was like, God damn.

They'd be fucking hay all over that thing. In 1992. Yeah, 92. I'm six. Yeah. That's a lot. That's a lot to hear at six. Yeah.

I should have been knowing about the fucking, the news used to be fucking ungoverned throttled. That I was learning what fucking blow jobs were. Clinton. My dad. He's done. The cigar thing's a little bit of a kink. Yeah, I remember being like, that was like my first of like, they were like, oh, it's, I think it was the bat. It was before.

It wasn't lit. He's not in a circus. That's how he moistened it. Yeah, it wasn't lit. I know, but that's still. Oh, it must have burned. Still, that tobacco. Oh, tobacco.

Oh, that tingled. Ribbed for his pleasure. You love to be talking about this. I don't think so. Hold on. We never finished. Oh, yes, please. Hold on.

Punched by an adult. My sister's Sweet 16, the DJ's assistant, made a move and one of her friends led to a huge brawl. Yeah. I was 14 and got clocked by said DJ's assistant who turned out to be 29. What the fuck? Police showed up one hour in and we had to vacate the venue. That's...

Good for you. Yeah. Standing up to the guy. Dude, imagine hitting on a 16-year-old than punching a 14-year-old. That guy's in jail and deserves to be. That's crazy. What kind of... That's nuts.

There's got to be... That's what was happening. back then. That guy would just be listen, if you're 29 and you're a DJ's assistant, that should be like I'm a 17, 18 year old trying to get into the DJ music biz and I'm moving boxes

I'm pushing speaker. 29, you're probably out on parole or something. Shouldn't be around. You don't have it. You can't scratch or do something. You don't got it. I saw the same thing. It was a graduation party. We weren't supposed to be there. We were with a mixed crew. It was my crew.

And another crew. Good guys. Uh-huh. A kid that got punched. Albert, shout out to you. Great dude. Good dude. The girls whose house it was, mom was a single mom.

Oh, yeah. That just leaves- Hot. Dude's around. She was one of the hottest chicks in high school. And her mom was a dime piece, as they say. Contract or something like that. Some, you know, some local rich guy, whatever.

He had one of his boys there. And, you know, they're like, yeah, you know, we're just, wrapping up or whatever so this guy comes charging out he's got a half a miller letting him gets the kid up against his car gives him two adult man

doge doge straight on bang bang to the face Albert was like all right now you're about to get beat up because we were all like ready to fucking bounce on this guy mom comes running down a driveway screaming

I don't know dick alright this one's from Rusty ever just drink soup from the can I never know. I got a bad thing about that. The cans are gross. Yeah.

And for some reason, I think it was Homek when I was young. They really scared us about... Botulism or whatever? Yeah, leaving things in the can in the fridge. Really? Which I just saw at one of my cousin's house. They had soup or something that was still in the can. In the thing?

Excuse me In the fridge, yeah We were always told Get that out of the can And I would know I don't like I'm thinking like the Campbell's can or whatever I always just picture like a wax lay

I To me it needed to be I realized it at the I realized it just needed to be heated up Like it was already cooked But in my head that was like raw Yeah I don't like tune out of that container And into a fucking pot

And it needs to be It needs to be cooked Yes I'm not just eating roll ingredients. And then they came out with the Campbell soup commercial with the big fat like bowl kind of that you would microwave and do that. That's a 7-11.

That was everywhere. Yeah. And it was not where you're buying your soup? Well, there were like, it was like Campbell's to go. Maybe, yeah, it was like and you could heat it up and that was but they would start pushing, drink it right out of the can. It was like a bowl-shaped can. And that was the first time I went, whoa. I'll do a cup of noodles like a gentleman.

I never realized that was bad either. They're great. I meant for you. Really? It's just noodles, pasta, and freeze-dried shrimp. In styrofoam that you then put in the microwave or dump boiling water into. That ain't. Talk about forever, forever plastic.

It's got like a year's worth of sodium. Really? Yeah, it's like so. I remember flipping freshman year. I had like two or three one day and he's like, that stuff's bad for you. I said, get out of here. It's me a Gatorade. It's crazy how you.

I knew. I had no idea. I knew when I did. It did it anyway. No, I had zero, zero. It wasn't until the first time I moved up here and I did no sugar, no grains. And I didn't understand it even then. I just knew that if you did that, you would lose weight.

I started to, I was 28. I started to piece it together. I remember your meatball phase. You're still in yours. Swedish. This one's from Dylan. $10 homie, never had one read. have you had to introduce a family member due to a news story?

First time my mom stayed at my grandparents. The next morning, the news story was a B&E into a pharmacy. My dad and his parents recognized his cousin fresh out of jail falling through the drop ceiling of a CBS on the news surveillance cam. He was working a parole job on the attached gas station and found out that the ducks were connected. That's jammed the fuck up. That's your uncle Eddie.

all right we got to wrap it up gang we love you to death we'll see you next week all right peace