Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Family Drug Tests w/ Kippy and Foley

Episode Date: June 9, 2022

Kippy and Foley are back with a fam ep! Its a fun one. Thanks for listening. Love youse guys, Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage https://www.BoxOfAwesome.com Promo Code: GARBAGE

Kip, let's talk about that middle-class famous tour, baby. Uh, I think you're talking about Buffalo, Pittsburgh, and Detroit. That's right. We're gonna be coming to Buffalo, jumping on the table. Detroit, we're gonna be hanging out with Eminem, and Pittsburgh, we're gonna do a little coal mining. Guys, get your tickets. It's a great way to introduce your boys or your gals to the show. Bring your squad. Grab a crew, send it out in a group text. It's, uh, me and Foley, each co-headline T-bones on the show. We're bringing our boy Tom Cassidy, and we close it out with a little live AYG with the crowd.

You've seen the clips. You know what we're doing? Get those tickets. The link's in the description. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Yup. It's a little show. We sit there with your favorite comedians, and we found out they're

going to be classy. Yeah. Or if it is to a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're down here at Entity's basement where it's always summer, because she's not really working right now. She's in between jobs over there. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. This is a family episode. We're gonna be answering your questions. Just the squad, the homies, the bozos, T-bones, and the big head. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan. Hey, gang. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate,

view, subscribe, on iTunes. Mm-hmm. All the video about bones. You too. You too? As you know those numbers are. True to room. They're cooking over there. Cooking! And then obviously, I don't want to speak for the group,

but it's my personal favorite website of all time. XNXX. Close second. You porned. Not a variety. www.patreon.com.ru garbage. You sign up. You get, I don't know, about a bajillion hours of content. A lot of stuff over there.

Already on there. Fun for the whole family. You get, you know, we're shooting Disney in two, three weeks. That's gonna be up there soon. You got the roulette spin up there. You got the Krebs videos. You got the Down and Shore video. We just announced our new goal. The, uh, we're gonna go camping. We're gonna go camping. The boys are gonna get an old-school RV, go camping. Well, family trip.

A couple of bears, maybe a shotgun or two. We got it. Somebody's gotta bring some. I'm gonna need a sidearm. Yeah. I'm gonna need a sidearm. Bears and shit up there. It helped the kid. Uh, yeah, we're gonna have to figure it all out.

I don't know. This is how, I don't know. Plus you guys think it's gonna be some leisure cruise. It's not. I'm gonna take you out in the woods and show you what it's like. We're gonna pull back to Curtin a little bit on how things are, how things operate over here at AYG. We don't really iron out the details.

We come up with a fucking pretty stupid idea and go, that's it. We'll figure it out when we get there. Like Disney in July. Like Disney in July. Like a $10,000 roulette spin, based on a thing from a TV show that we were wrong about. A whole lot of dumb shit. Colombo played Blackjack.

Yeah. Good stuff, though. Check it out. We love you. We appreciate the love. We appreciate the support. And have a nice quick shout out to our producer, extraordinaire, the Magic Man,

the pride of the Chicago Comedy scene. A recent transplant here in Queens. It's got a new place, new jean shorts. He's looking fresh and fit. Give it up for Toby McMullen. What's up, dudes? What's up, T-Band? Thank you.

My shorts are feeling good. I'm glad you found shorts that were also a t-shirt. Yeah, that's an odd, that's an odd fact. That's like 80s weight lift, power lifter fabric you got on there. I used to wear those for my dad, the Russell's. Oh yeah. Dude, sweatpants shorts are a bad look. When they, when they, you know,

it's a bad pair of shorts when the, when the drawstring is connected. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, that's so good. Dude. You can't make a knot. I didn't figure that until college. I was supposed to cut it.

Uh-huh. I don't think, you're not supposed to cut it. What, are you tying it in a belly button knot? Yeah. Oh, that's great. Like you're, like you're showing off your mid-drift. Is it mid-rib or mid-drift? Mid-drift.

I think it's mid-rib too. It's Tokyo drift, I know that. All I know is that. Mid-rift, it's mid-rift, the mid-rift of your body. But doesn't mid-rib also make sense? You're showing your rib the middle of your ribs? It's rift, mid-rift. Ah, you're both wrong.

What is it? Mid-rift. Rift. Whoa, we all throwing a T on that. Yeah, the region of the front. Is it Eddie Van Halen? What are we talking about? I'm over here melting a couple of faces.

Hit me with the whammy bar, kid. Wow, wow, wow, wow. Talk about, wow, wow. Do you feel like I do? Good shit. Question for you. I'm listening. Cleaning the apartment.

We're getting out of town for a couple of days. Me and the bird there. Yeah. Taken patty, not in a chair. I was telling you. You were under all fights on that trip. I told you, I have terrible anxiety. Just even thinking about going to.

There was, listen, I love my family. But there was never. I do not love you. They're starting to warm up to me. I got a handshake at Christmas. Oh, dude, like a divorced dad in court. I love my family. But I had to kill them.

The dog kept looking at me. But there was, there was, and it was always because of me and my brother. And they were just two people in a bad situation, you know, fucking trying to make good with their fucking rotten kids. We would cause a fight. Don't act like your parents are fucking

Dr. Phil and Oprah, by the way. Okay. Those two are as crazy as he is. It's like taking a vacation with the Westies. You don't know who's getting stabbed. Everybody's got a knife out. Your mom's behind your mom with a fucking piano wire in the car.

That's what I was going to say. Yeah. It's everything. Yeah. Anybody can get it like more fucking morey's way. My dad coming fucking mid-Atlantic city expressway. You're coming back. You're a whole family.

Come here. This is crazy. So there's a lot of anxiety in that. Just going down there, I can feel it. I'm just waiting for a divorce. I'm not even married. But I got delegated to, I got to clean the house. Like the cats that are coming.

You got to clean your apartment. Yeah. You know how that is? It's like you live a certain way. And then when somebody shows up, you put on airs. Dude, even if my wife has like friends in the building, she'll be like, oh, fucking, you know,

Megan's coming up. I'm like, right now. I'm like, I'm fucking jumping over the couch. I got a swift for going. Which is the real separation between garbage and then just a dirtbag family. Because I've had friends where you go. They just don't care.

Oh my, the milk's fucking in the garage. They don't know what's going on. Yeah, that's tough. When you show up and you're like, you knew I was coming. You knew you were having people. Yeah. Yeah. And they're moving like laundry baskets and stuff

out of the way, the sweepers out. Let me clear you a seat. Nope. There's a dead cat there. Sorry. I do that with my car. If I know people are going to be in my car. Or you explain.

Hey, I'm sorry. It's a mess. Sure. But that gets to a point. Yeah, of course. But I have a thing now where I got to, because we've been driving the fucking, we've been driving Hans all over fucking creation,

down a shore, down to my parents over here, over there. Carbon and dog hair. And he's in mid shed right now. This is when they shed. They shed two times a year I've learned. To really. What is the lizard? Mid shed.

No, they're like they, I didn't know I never had this kind of dog. I thought it was just always coming off of them. No, they have two times a year. It's like in the spring, I guess they shed for the whatever. And then in the, I don't, I don't even know. Someone just said he always in his fucking seasonal shed. I was like, yeah, Google that real quick.

And Steve Irwin, get out of my car. Hey, I'm going to get a fucking stingray and hit you. Zip it. Move it along. I'm trying to catch a Bernie here. Throw you in the crock tank. So it's all, it's like crazy. It's bad.

That's in dog hairs embarrassing. And it's so bad. I can't, this is the, the KIA did a, I did a pretty good job. No Bernies in the KIA, no real eating, whatever. But I mean like, he's thrown up back there a couple of times. He's eating at a couple. What's he drinking? What the fuck?

Puk at the window dude. Put your paw on the ground. One paw on the ground. Stare at the horizon or something. I'm so embarrassed. I can't even take my, my current car. I can't take to a car wash. It's like, I got to do some really, there's that much.

They open up the back door. They're going to be like, what? Like, this is bad dude. Do you kill a llama? But then I also did another very trashy thing of, I don't use the car that much. I was parked under a train. Like I said, it was like really, I think I've mentioned.

Bird shit city. Looks like you pulled it out of a fucking swamp. Like it's like bird shit. There's the things from the leaves, the rain and then that. You get rats in there if you leave them too long. Rats, you got a whole rat in my KIA. You know that, that happened to a friend of ours. Yeah, cause he had food in there.

He was storing his, he was, our friend would go to Costco, buy a bunch of food and then leave the food in the car thinking it's like storage. And the fucking rats were like, oh sweet dude. He drove us down to my parents and he wanted, he had to get like an oil change or something. So we took him to our guy, fucking dude opened the hood. He was fucking puking his guts out.

It was just covered in rat shit. Yeah, no, I don't have anything in there. But I was at my mom's recently and my car was so dirty. And I just like, I couldn't. So I just, I did a real trashy thing. It was a real trash thing. I just sprayed it with the hose, like no soap, no nothing, just to like clear off some of the pollen.

On the inside? No, on the outside. Which makes it worse. I don't know if you know that. You got the squeegee from the gas station doing the inside. You got to dry the car. Otherwise it looks where I look. Oh yeah.

I'm like, I'm driving real bad. You got to get some casket down there. When we went and did the flagrant Patreon, I was so happy you didn't see my car. Really? You would have never have let me, dude. It literally looks like it was underwater not too long ago. The amount of shit on this.

No trouble down at Alligator Alley. Jack Klump is over here. Yeah, it's real bad. Real bad. Have you ever had to clean your apartment before a drug dealer came over? That's a tough one. Yeah.

That's if you don't even, I mean, I don't know. I don't partake in the devil's lettuce. I get high on life and Jameson. If you're going to get side eyes from the guy with the bag, that's no good. It's a tough look. Yeah. But there's also, there's a process or a procedure to that.

If we're talking about the same thing, you want to have the apartment clean before the night's festivity. You know what I mean? I don't. Please explain to your mom who's watching. I'm more of a Satan's bacon bits kind of guy. Talking black tar, baby.

Black tar. Spiking up. That's a Ben and Jerry's flavor, right? Black tar. Measured they came out with that. You got to inject it. But I'm trying to take a little more responsibility at the house.

The lady's working and all that kind of stuff. So I said, I'll clean the apartment. Huge mistake. You don't realize how dirty your apartment is till you start cleaning it. And that's when you start really pushing the goalpost. There's a thing too. When you're cleaning, it gets dirtier.

Like when you proper clean, you move stuff, there's a pile of trash. Now like everything's kind of hidden. It's livable. What's weird is I walked into your apartment. Okay. Never get the invite. Let's say it was clean.

I wouldn't think anything of it. But if you walk through it, you would see like the little, the, you know, the things on the corners. And the spaghetti sauce on the thing. You would, you don't normally see that kind of stuff. But when it's in your apartment to do, like right behind where the trash can is, it looks like somebody blue shift boy or these brains out.

I know, that's real bad. You ever pull that bad boy out too? Oh, yikes. You don't want to know what's going on back there. It's like cultures are growing. It's like the red light this time. It's like you're just keeping moving. It's bad.

That too. And also too around, I noticed a real bad around our sink. Because like you're washing the things that are flying, little water splashing. And then you're like, oh, I'm done. Then you leave and you come back. And you're like, once you're cleaning, everything, you're like, yeah, it's like,

there's like fucking an inch of grease on that. Oh, dude, the fucking stove, the grease. It's like, what, what, what, was that Kentucky fried chicken? What are you doing in here? More of a crown fried chicken. But there's my procedure with the bathroom. Well, you lightly talked about this, I think the other day, where I used a toilet brush

kind of fucking to get everything. I sprayed Clorox on the floor. But you go through fucking 25,000 paper towels to do that. Shouldn't be doing with paper towels. I'm not. What I do is I take the old towel. After I spray everything down and scrub everything. I mean like everything, the whole area around the toilet.

The floor behind the thing with the pea splatters. And then I take an old towel or a towel that's done. And I just fucking. Like bath towel? Bath towel. Okay. I just take like the towel that I'd been using for the week or whatever it was.

I'm going to get a new towel. You trash that though. Or do you, oh, you don't wash that and use it, do you? You wash it in hot water. What's the difference? I don't know about that. That's okay. It's funny you mentioned this one.

That's a no-flot. That's the second I'm cleaning up pee and fecal matter. I'm not then using that. I don't, I mean, you could wash that. You could give it to NASA for them to fucking wash it. And I'm still not going with it. Say this thing to Mars. Yeah, no.

This time I did. It was, you took me out of guard that you said that, which that's also a no-no too. I'm not allowed to just throw out. I don't have that kind of clearance over there. Just throwing out towels. Fucking. How middle management?

What do you want from me? I'm going to get called upstairs for that. That's like a Billy Mays infomercial. It's covered in piss. It's covered in shit. And it's clean still. That's crazy. That's not.

Use it for 12 more showers. Also, you better not be using the generic stuff in the washing machine. You need some, you need some heavy dude. I'm talking heavy bike detergent. Take that to T.O. Brand name OxyClean, dude. Yeah, you know, like OxyJazz or whatever.

I'm all OxyClean. My mom has a stain removal formula that works like a charm. Sprite's got like apple cider vinegar, this, that, the other thing. She makes it? She makes it at home in a spray bottle. I think I was gatorating it, too. I'm not 100% sure. It has a really weird.

It's great for hangovers. It's a good blue tip. But yeah, you put it in the sun. It comes right off. But I did throw that one out. I threw that towel out. Yeah. But normally, I would wrap that up

and stick it in the bottom of the thing. Uh-uh. And then you wash out with your clothes and stuff? No, we separate the fucking towels and the sheets and the clothes. Because all my clothes, I have to watch in ice cold water. And you shrinkage. Ice cold.

Uh-uh. I know. Yeah, I do cold. Cold that I hang the. Which I don't think when you drop it off in the New York City play, in the New York City laundromats that they do do it in cold.

No. Everything comes back to the size of the sock. You might as well drop it in a volcano, dude. They fucking, dude. Brutal. They give you the high heat in a laundromat. High heat in the washer and high heat in the dryer. They give you toddler clothes back.

You're like, what the fuck? And I left the sheets in the dryer too long on high heat. And I'm telling you, they were smoking. They were fucking so hot. They smelled burnt. Yeah. Do you have a drying rack in your apartment or are you open in cabinets and shit to hang your shirts on?

Um, let's see. Who's doing that? What? If you don't, you're hanging your shirts to dry? Yeah. You do? Uh-huh. Wait, there's some things you don't put in the dryer?

Yeah, just said that. That's crazy. Ask me another way so you have to answer changes. Wait, so. What shirt, like, would that go in the dryer? This one does because this is a proven, it can withstand its integrity. Uh-huh.

Shout out to Sal Volcano, by the way. Uh, this guy uses iQuality merch over here. Sally, we love you. Put one of those AYG shirts in the dishwasher. In the dishwasher, it's over. You gotta fucking wash that down with the crick. Get your washing stones, your washboards, baby. Yeah, no, I have two different classifications of black t-shirts

that I, I'm a wacko. You know, I don't know. So, I have two different classifications of black t-shirts that I use. Some are just around the, I got about 40, I would say, black t-shirts. What are you, black man? 20, dude, you have one t-shirt and you wear it until it disintegrates.

Got it on now. I'm big on that new t-shirt. It looks like you have the flower. I've read the YouTube comments. They're aware as well. Because it fits great. It fits great. And some t-shirts fucking, when you wash them,

they get softer and they get looser and they get fantastic. And then some, it's like you're putting on a burlap sack. Sure. Which I have. Yeah, I don't dry. So, I hang. I do. Do you have the rack?

Yeah, of recent. I was just doing like over the- The little wooden one you're talking about. It's plastic, but yeah. We had that in our living room when I was growing up. I was like, what the fuck is this? My mom always used it for her delicate. Oh, yeah.

Kevin, stop playing over there. I was always really good at wake up in the morning. My mom would wash stuff in the sink. Like with like wool light and stuff. Oh yeah, I remember that. Patty would do that. Yeah, so like, I'd come down to fucking make a bowl of Special K and there's a bunch of panties in the sink.

I'm not panties. I'm kidding. I'm clearly kidding. Songs. I mean, they were all songs. BDSM type stuff. A couple of ball games. Ma, you can't get leather wet.

How do you do it? Rack your first goddamn problem. No, just like, there would be like a sweater or- You're wrapping up a sandwich in latex panties. Sweaters or like blouses, like that type stuff. Sure. I used to play with my G.I. Joe's on there. That was a-

On the rack. Yeah. That was point too hot. But I just got a rack, but for the longest time, I still, the rack, because I do wash a lot of black teas a week. So the rack can't hold them all. So I'll do like over the doors or the dresser or on a chair or something for the last two days.

If you do them over the doors, sometimes there's that thick layer of lint on top of the door you don't realize- I know, I know, I know. You're standing at the hosting of the Gallagher's getting laughed at. I know, I know. Patty does something.

She, she, does your mom do this? My mom washes her hair in the kitchen sink. Whoa. Yeah. No. Yeah, washes her hair in the kitchen sink. Why? I mean, I'm sure she does when she's in the shower.

I don't know, sometimes she just washes her hair. It makes me feel like I'm at the spa. Yeah. I turn the heat up real high. Close all the windows, smoke a couple of menthol cigarettes. Open up some nail polish. Yeah. Yeah, she washes her hair.

Just like the four seasons. She washes her hair in the sink because you'll be, you'll be downstairs yelling for, What? I can't hear you. I'm washing my hair. She's fucking, it's all fun and games. Places like a kennel in there.

Till your ponytail gets caught in the disposal too. Yeah. We don't have a garbage disposal. You crazy. You don't have a garbage disposal? You don't fucking, they don't trust that shit. Sometimes you explain your house and it sounds like it's from the 1800s. That weird, that weird stove or oven heater thing you got?

The coal stove we used to have. Coal stove and now we have a, we have a wooden- It's real house. We're like little house on the prairie vibes, I guess. We have a wood pellet stove in where the fireplace used to be. You put it in there. I now- The coal stove is tough.

Yeah, that's a, yeah. But now she has one thing that- You have a dishwasher? Of course. Yeah, she's got a good dishwasher. A great dishwasher. Okay. I told you, she almost fucked it up

because she put like palm olive or something in there. Oh yeah, I'll do you know. That was like a three week process. Huh. But at night now, all you hear is ticking. She has timers. Couple of pipe bombs. She has timers on everything.

The coffee has a timer. You know the coffee pot has a timer inside of it most of the time? She's using an, oh, I don't know. A fucking dial timer. She's using an external thing, like a thick, thick, thick, thick. There's a timer plugged into the socket. The wall you plug in. Things are plugged into there.

And when, and when you turn the TV off to go upstairs to bed, all you hear, it's like living in Doc Brown's house. It's fucking wild. Fuck that. Why didn't she just said it? She cried. Cause she's crazy. Yeah.

Wait, is that the turn on? Nice cup of coffee in the morning. That's the turn on at seven o'clock. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. We do the same thing, but we got, I mean, actually nothing moved to it.

That's on. We go downstairs. Nice move to a curing. At the house. And down the shore. I don't like them. Which I gotta, what? I don't like the, I don't like the plastic.

I understand, but the immediacy of having a cup of coffee within 12 seconds. I like when it's percolating though. And he's getting ready for it. I know, but when you're like jammed up, you're going somewhere or something. You're like, I could use a cup of coffee. You got a cup of coffee.

And this is also too, my mom's got a couple of bucks starting to spend it a little bit. Really? She keeps, she keeps a stock of to go like Oh, that's nice. We did that for a little while. With the lids. Yeah.

So it's like, you know, like you would be at like a fucking Wawa or a 7-Eleven. You go, you pull a fucking. Patty just ganks him out of Wawa. We've had stacks. What if she was working third shift? That's pretty smart too, I guess. Yeah.

But yeah, that's great. They're not going to say nothing. You throw a lid on and fucking, you're out walking the dog. You got a cup of Joe, two tree seconds. Maybe a little, a little something. A little Irish coffee. A little turntine juice.

Now you're talking my family's language. Okay, let's talk about the good people that bespoke posts. Box of awesome. Box of awesome is exactly what I was going to say. And let me tell you something folks, it is fantastic. It's the summertime. You want to come correct, whether it's grilling supplies, whether it's grooming supplies, camping gear,

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Code garbage. Do it. Now back to the show. Back to the show, just like that. Yeah. Use the towel. Spotlessly clean in that bathroom though. So you don't have,

you don't have the, like you said, authority to just throw out a towel? No. I would have to run that by. Really? Yeah. I can't just throw out towels.

Where's the towel? Then I get in trouble. Yeah. Just say I throw it out. I put the poop follow up. Put what? I put poop on. There was poop and pee all over it.

She knows there's poop on them. There's poop on everything in there. I'm in there. Uh-huh. On the walls, the TV, the whole night. All right. Okay. All right.

Okay. All right. Let's get into some cues here. Yeah, gang. So as you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon over there, we will ask your garbage question on here. Look at that.

Just the best way to do it. We do get a lot of submissions, you know, via DMs, via fucking Twitter, via emails. Unless you toss us a heater. Yeah.

If there's a heater, I'll steal it and pass it off as mine. Now I'm kidding. Um, we'll try to, we'll use them, but Patreon obviously gets the first crack at it. Cause they're the fucking homies. How do you feel about your legs?

You feel good about your legs? How do you feel about your toes? They're so long, you look like you have French tips. That was all right. It was on, they was sitting on. Oh yeah.

Yeah. I had two intros for how you came at me. I'm not going to lie. Like psycho mad libs. French tips used to be hot back in the day. That was sexy. That was like the white line on it. Yeah, little tip on him.

Yeah. I did it for a couple of years of high school, but now, um, I kind of want to start painting my fingernails at my toenails. You know what I'm really into right now? That Harry Styles. Holy shit.

I don't think I could pick him out of a lineup. Oh, but he's fucking dropped that gorgeous. I could tell you that he's got a fucking real summer hit out too. Called as it was. Real big star that kid. Should be a huge movie star. Think he's doing some Marvel movies.

He's all right though. He's got a lot of like soul in his voice. He's a good kid. Yeah. It's great. Plus he likes to play with the boundaries there. Sexually. Yes.

Really good. And he pulls it off too. That's good. Yeah. Good for him. Shout out to Harry Styles. And that was the H. Foley celebrity corner. Oh yeah.

Hot goss. His Tom Cruise ain't bad either. Tell you about that kid. And that was hot goss with Hank. Holy shit. But you didn't hear that from me. Tune in next week. I like that.

Let's do a gossip column. Let's for sure not. That wasn't gossip. That was you talking about a guy I think you have a crutch on. It's not gossip. Could we get him in here. That'd be nice. I don't know.

Make some calls. Have H in here. Hanging out with him. Seems like a down earth kid. All right. Let's get into it. You find me attractive. Will you paint my toenails for me.

Would you or anyone in your family fuck me. MG Kelly does that shit too. Machine gun Kelly. Oh you know him as MG. Man you are seven different kinds of stupid. He does. He paints his nails. He's really good.

All these hot kids are. That's why they're getting the babies. I'm over here in carpenter shorts. If we tried that we look like bosom buddies. I look like Mrs. Doubtfire. That might be a bit I try. That's pretty good. Where are we doing.

On Ian's podcast gang. Ian's got a new podcast going out. Go check it out. What were you saying. I'm all chopped up over these so I can. I was creeping out of the closet. Hey we should do a thing where I just come out of the closet. We should do a thing where I say I'm attracted to it.

Do a thing where I sleep in every style. Just for the show. Yeah. I hope he's going to shoot it. I'll put it on Patreon. I like what I like. It's the same thing. I like these.

I like what these young kids are. I like that these young kids are like really have changed. Because when I came up it was all gang banging you know. Tough guy. Spinning rims and fucking. You couldn't do that either. Big jerseys and you know it was like thugs. It was like that was what was hot in young pop culture.

It was like these guys are in touch with their feelings. They're sensitive. Everyone's included. These kids went the other way and they're fucking. They're sexy. Yeah they're real. She got tattoos everywhere. Couple of mamacitas.

I see. Mike probably does. All right that kid. Yeah. Imagine he's doing some numbers down here at the office. Yeah. Yeah. Said he's got a couple set of steak knives in his house.

Uh huh. For the quarter of this. He's got the watch. He's getting flown to Cabo. No time share for him. All right gang so let's get into it. This is one is from Joshua. Never had a question.

I read $10 homie here. Thank you sir. What's trashier? So this is a summertime question. What's trashier? Having a real basketball hoop outside of your above ground pool or the hoops made for the pool? I would gotta say the real size basketball net.

That's not even a question. He's not even able to shoot it. He's just too high. Man it'd be adjustable. Oh he would. Yeah I would assume. Also I don't think this guy has an in-ground net with a glass backboard that we're talking about.

This is one of those you get the broomstick out and lower. Well let me tell you this. No sand in that motherfucker. It's an interesting question. We have a fucking banger. We have one, it's a pool one that has this huge tank that you fill up the water to keep it down. It's real nice.

And it's on the edge. It's oh it's fucking perfect. And it's like maybe like if this is the top of the pool like the rim's like here so it's perfect. Yeah so you can dunk. Yeah when you're fucking, when you're housing your fucking nieces and nephews. Back in your sick, back in your sick dad.

You're sick dad down in the lane. I was all ball. See this square belongs to me. Yeah but you're just hacking your mom. I got five more to give. Look she's she's got a bloody nose. What are you gonna cry man? It's like a turn into Larry Bird 84.

But as you know the Foley's, we like to do things a little bit different. You know we got the above ground. That's a way to put it. Yeah the Foley's do things different. We got the above ground, in-ground trip wires everywhere. The underground.

Above ground, in-ground, underground, above ground. But I could see if you got the quick creed out, dug a hole because those. I don't, yeah I don't think that's what you're saying. Hold on we have a really good one. We have a really good water basketball. You bought it like Leslie's pools or what? You bought out of, it's a, it's for a pool is what I'm saying.

Yes but most of those stink. You got to go heavy bike when you're going. You got to throw out, you got to shout a couple of beans to get them. So I can understand that if a guy had a fucking above ground pool and wanted to fucking throw the quick creed in and put the thing in there, I would do it just not too high. This is what I. Let me tell you something is, I'm sorry.

I looked at those things and I wanted to get one from my dad so he could shoot hoops. But those things are like a grand. What? To get one of that fucking regular basketball net. They're expensive as shit. I'm sure. I think this, this is my take on this from this gentleman here.

He's got an above ground pool that's pretty much in an empty backyard, maybe like an old lawn mower that don't work or something. And he's got one of those movable basketball nets like on the wheels that you fill with water, sand in the driveway. And I'm assuming him and his dirtbag crew are wheeling it, just wheeling that up to the fucking side of the pool. Yeah. To play a little horse.

Probably throwing alley hoops and stuff like that. Yeah, that's, I respect that. I would just argue that's a trashy move. To class it up a little bit is you move it back when you're done. You don't just have the basketball net in the backyard next to the pool the whole season. That's a tough look.

I'd probably leave it there. I'm sure you would. I put the grill up next to the pool too. What are we doing? Kill three birds at one stone. Drag the fridge out of the garage. We used to do, I think we mentioned, we used to do trampolines.

Everybody had trampolines. That was like the, you know, early 2000s, late 90s. Everybody had trampolines. Trampoline into the hoop. Into the pool. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, but it only lasts for, it's very, because you get wet and then you don't have any fucking,

you don't have any stance the next time. Oh, dude, I almost fucking came down. Oh, that's asking for a question. Head on that, on that red brick that surrounds the in-ground pool. Yikes. Pachi, macho. Another reason why I don't like fucking in-ground pools. It's all concrete.

Yeah, can't afford them. It's all concrete. It's very tough. Sure. And when you, when you, when you- You really can spin a yarn on why you don't like nice things. Sure. And I don't like a million dollars.

You got to pay taxes on that. Who wants to do that? There's another jerk in the line. I know. But if you hit your head on an above-ground pool, it's a lot less impactful than hitting your head on an in-ground pool. That's concrete, your head. I understand.

The things on the- That's also three times the size of it. So you shouldn't really be cracking your head on the fucking side of an in-ground pool. Not mine. You've seen Patti's. Sure. Now I got a question for you. We really, you know, obviously the above-ground in-ground has been a,

one of the impetus of this podcast here that we do, this program. Let's just say you make a couple of bucks, right? Okay. You're building, you're, you're going out. You're gonna- Somewhat argue we are. Sure, I think we had an argument this morning about that. Continue.

And what would I do? Would I dig up that pool? No, no, no, no. I'm saying you go, you buy, you're buying, you're, you know, you have enough cash where you go to a builder and you're like, hey, I bought a, I bought a plot of land in Bluebell or by your parents, whatever the dream is, the dream scenario. Okay.

Plenty of space, big house, you know, something like, you know, my mom's asks, like, so you're like, I'm gonna do- Your mom's house. I'm gonna do a nice house, big backyard. Is she living with me? Are you doing above-ground or in-ground pool? You gotta do in-ground pool. Like money, I'm not, I'm not saying money's not an option, but it's, you know.

I honestly- I don't believe you. I know you don't believe me. You seldom do. But you lie all the time. That cool Chris feeling of getting in an above-ground pool, it's something that I'm used to since I was a kid. I loved it.

It would be banging. However, I'm a big jacuzzi guy, you know that. So you would have to have an above-ground jacuzzi. You'd have to have a hot tub. That's no jacuzzi. That I wouldn't do. If I could, I would do a custom saltwater or infinity pool. In-ground.

That's what I would do. No, above-ground. Yes, in-ground. Yeah, that's okay. And above-ground saltwater pool. Infinity, what the fuck? You gotta be upside down for it to be infinity. You went on the roof, what?

Yeah, so you would go in-ground. I would, come on. I'm just asking, that's the first time you've ever said you would. Of course. You really dig your heels in on these things. Diving board slaw, you said your brother has some kind of setup like that. He's got a waterfall or some bullshit like that. Yeah, get a custom job.

Get our guy over there. Yeah. I'm fucking hooking up. Shit's expensive though. This is also how I realized how just, I don't want to say the difference in lives that I lit. Like, my brother has this very nice house, very nice pool. Got a nice joint. And the other day, it was like last weekend or whatever, it was hot as shit in New York.

Fucking, you know, 92 degrees. And me and my wife were like, I think we could go down to Danny's and use this pool. I was like, that is- Use this pool. That is a real poor guy shit. I didn't even come over and, hey, guys don't even gotta be there or nothing. Use this pool. Just tell me what switch to turn on or what.

Make sure you turn that pump off, god damn it. You got towels, dude. What's the deal? Yeah. I was just like, oh, we're living different lives. Yeah. I'm like cooped up. There's plenty of pools.

Nice pools here. I got three air unit, window units going and one of them works. Fucking, we're all hanging out in the bathroom. There's tons of nice pools in New York that you can go to. There's a lot of nice pool. This is another thing that I want to talk about. There is now a service that I almost used a couple of years ago when we were real hem doping. Pools for you?

Looking for a good time. It's like an Airbnb but for pools. What? People rent their pools out. Patty, get on this. What are we doing? You're just turning it out. You're leaving money on the table.

Your dad's out there looking at the girls. Hey, read the fine print, ladies. Guys got to get a peek. Say one of the hot dogs for the big guy. We got to get his lunch ready. Yeah, you can use it. It's like Airbnb for pools. The name of this company is so fucking dumb.

What is it? Swimply. Swimply, yes. And there's a really, there's a couple of cool ones. In somebody's house? Yeah, they ran out their pool for like, I don't know, give me a price like 50 bucks an hour or something. Oh, that's sad.

Making that up. I don't know, 200 bucks an hour. Man, if I went to a party, who lives here? That guy looking at us. We got it on Swimply. The fuck out of here. Yeah, but I think a lot of, I don't think they're home. All that, I think you can request them not being home.

Like whatever, you know, I don't know. Request them to be home. I want them eating dinner. Yeah. I want them looking at the bay window at me. Yo, these. That's like cannonball. These are not legit, dude.

No. The ones in New York City. Dude, they're all above ground pools and alleys. Yeah. It's a fire hydrant on 166th Street. Bring your own can. Must agree to split the fine when the fire department shows up. That's trash.

Yeah. But there's plenty of nice pools. There's a nice pool out there and a story you can go to. A lot of these hotels have pools. Yeah, I know. I don't, I don't want to, I don't, that to me, that doesn't do it for me. You just want to cool off.

Yeah, I don't want to like get on the fucking subway to go to a pool and sneak in some hotel or whatever. My friends would always get me to do that. Yeah, just act like you belong at the stand. Room 902. I'm like, I'm wearing basketball shorts. They know I don't belong. Did you go down to your brothers?

No, no, no. Did you make the call? No, no. You have an open invite, right? Oh, of course. Yeah, no, but it was more of like, it's so hot, what can we do? And I was like, am I really going to go just fucking? Man, you stink.

The kids are running out to like practice and shit. Like, why is Uncle Kevin back there? I don't look like I'm eating the chicken borm in the hot dog. No, eatin' a pool. Faced down in the deep end. I was looking at rocks in your pocket, like Anthony Soprano. All right, this one's for Mike. Ever mow the grass without picking the dog shit up first.

Oh, fuck yeah. You roll that dice. I don't think. It usually goes horribly wrong. What happens? I remember my dad used to make me pick up the dog shit. I remember in the yard, I'm being like, this is counterintuitive.

This is why we have a yard so the dog can shit in the yard. No. What are you? Nuts. You don't have me walking back there with a dust pan and like a spackle knife to like fucking scoop it in. I fucking hate it. When it's a fresh dump, it's a tough look.

When it's all a couple of days old. Yeah, I mean, if you catch a fresh heater, yeah. Oh, you're done. That could jam you up, but all in all, if I had a backyard, I don't think I would pick it up. You're going to blast her. You're crazy. Of course, it would get with that.

It disintegrates. No, it doesn't. That's the point of having a yard, man. I'm not picking it up. You got to pick it up. No. I don't know. I don't have a yard.

You can't have the kids running around back there. I don't have kids. You've kids over. Well, that'd be weird. I'm just having the neighborhood kids over. You're retting your pool. I'm on Swimly. Retting the backyard.

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I guess I will. I just, in my head, it doesn't make sense. You got to pick up the dog shit. Not all of it. It goes everywhere and it leaves a huge patch if you're running over with a tire. Plus, then you got to spray that shit off

where you put it back on the fucking trailer. I'm having a landscaper in this fucking. So I got to go pick up the poop before the landscaper? That doesn't make sense. You're telling me this is back to the house ever? That doesn't make any sense. You would have to tell them, but I assume they would charge you for that.

Because they're turning around. For not picking up my poop? No. What if I pooped? If you said, hey, just so you know. Listen, somebody took 37 shits in the backyard. Somebody took 37 shits in the backyard. I don't know who it was.

Damn neighborhood pooper. It would be the same as if you took an M80 and stuck it into every turd in the yard. Because it just explodes it all everywhere. Yeah, but that's good for a grit. Right in. There's no way. Dog shit's not a good fertilizer.

Because of what they eat. I don't know. Toby? You're a dog. My targeting system is off. Because that seems wrong to me, and Kippy also seems wrong to me. I'm not saying I'm right.

Who do you back here? It's not, cow's good for it, manure. I'm not saying, listen, I'm not saying I'm right. I just find it insane that everybody that has a backyard and a dog is picking up the dog poop. 100% they are. I don't think so.

It smells. It gets everywhere. What do you mean, it gets everywhere? I don't think so. It disintegrates. Hold on. Okay, so you asked me a question if I had a little money.

So you get a little bit. Damn, Polly's right. Dog poop, no good for the yard. Bad fertilizer. It's too high in protein, and it creates a very acidic smell. I only feed my dog grains. There we go.

Doesn't matter. Not good for eating either. Nothing? All right. Um, so you're telling me. I don't know what I'm telling you. If you had a. I'm going to change it to make myself look better.

So you buy a house. All right. You buy a house. I'm doing pretty well. I'll buy a house. Which I found out there was a big debate. You don't need 20% down. What do you need?

You can have something called PMI or something like that. You buy insurance. Take an antibiotic. What are you going to do? It says like you'll they'll pay or something. It's like an extra fee. Ooh, I don't like that.

A co-signer. No, I might do a co-signer. There you go. Don't call me. Yeah. Look at that. I just heard. I'll be in my above ground pool.

I just heard the cap sox on a thousand keyboards. Click as people started screaming in the comments. Somebody fucking how are you doing? That's got real reverse mortgage vibes to it. No, apparently. Listen, I got to talk to it. If anybody knows what mortgage you got. No, but.

Hold on. So you buy this house, whatever. However you get the money. PMI. So 20 years. In 80 years, I can afford a house. It's just you screaming in a bank. No, PMI.

Like, sir, we will not give you money. I googled it. Talk to Google. Is he here? You're telling me you have the dog up there. You're just going to let the dog shit in the backyard and you're never going to clean it up? That's.

I got to be honest with you. I've never thought about it. But I don't, in my head, that's my argument. I've never thought about it. So it seems like. Who cleaned up the dog shit in your yard? I just told you. I would.

You did. So there you go. Yeah, my dad's also a little crazy. To me, I'm going, this seems nuts. I'm not denying that, maybe. He's pooping in the grass. But he's on the right path. He can't just have dog shit in the backyard.

How long does dog shit stay? It's not like it's staying months. It's like microplastics. Are you kidding me? No, you're nuts. You're nuts. Generational. Uh-uh.

Generational. Get out of here. I'm telling you. My dog's poop, his dog's dog's poop? Oh wait, hold on. You have to cut the rings and find out how old it is. Yeah, dude, you can't be doing that. You got to fucking clean the dog shit up.

Holy shit. Average time for dog feces to decompose is nine weeks. All right, I'm cleaning up the nine weeks. Holy shit. Yeah. Holy dog shit. That's the whole summer. Well, dog, is it OK?

Here it is. We have a little pen in the back where she makes her, where she does her business. I've seen this. Pen. It's. It's not a pen. It is a pen.

No. You've never been there? I was looking upside down kayak in there. What are you talking about? That's the pool filter. Shot a whole video there, you dummy. Yeah, it's not a. We called it at the beginning of the episode.

She usually dumps on the deck anyway. It's a space that you call a pen. I'll give you that. She doesn't have to go back there. It's an extra area filled with sand and a walkway and lights. No, this is not a proper picture you're painting. Yeah. He's painting it like they constructed it that way.

We did construct it that way. That's the dog pen. I'll get Patty on the phone right now. She'll lie right there. You're all liars. You're all lying through your teeth. Yeah, because the last time you brought this up. I got to talk to her for a second before.

What's the play here? You called it a dog run. Just go with it. The dog run, yes. Holy shit, all over that. It's barely a dog walk, if it's anything. And how you'd bump it down to pen. Yeah.

Can't have shit in the yard. OK, listen. I've never had a dog where I had my own dog and in my own yard. So. Good question, though. Yeah, great question. This is from Jim420. First time, long time.

Is it garbage to get fired from a family business for failing a drug test? Jesus. Hot sheet. Where's the wild sheet? I know, right? How about a kid down and out? Where are you going to go?

Whose couch are you going to sleep on then? Suspend me. What the fuck? Yeah, that's pretty fucked up. They fire you. I would doubt this is my take of this question. It's like, he was probably a bit of a fuck up. And he was like, I'll hire to get back on your feet

with no fucking drugs. Play off the pills. Then he fucking, you know, popped devil's lettuce, couple of two tree fucking tombstones. Woo, couple school buses. I don't know how it goes. It's a Wednesday night. Starts pissing hot.

Yeah. Pissing, you know. You're out. Damn. Who fails a drug test, by the way? The biggest idiots I know. I'm assuming, dude, if your family is also your boss and they're giving you drug tests,

they're trying to catch. Like, they're not going like, hey, don't forget, drug testing. It's not, it's not corporate. They're like UFC fighters. They just show up at 6 AM. It's like Usada or whatever. Yeah, they wake you up out of a cold sleep.

Fucking piss. You're sitting at breakfast with a bowl of raisin bran. All of a sudden, your mom's under there grabbing at your nuts. She's milking you. She's milking you. Do you ever see those videos? Me, either. Continue.

What's milking you? What? In pornography. The butthole? Yeah, well, no. There's these. That's what you're into. No, stop.

Dude, anytime I mention something, you go, that's what you're into. Skylake's utter porn. Imagine a massage table. A massage table with a hole in it. But it's not for your face. It's not for your face. It's for your member.

Put your wiener. Yeah. And what do they do underneath there? They, I mean, do I have to explain what they, how they came up with the name milking? Okay. Yeah. Drug, yeah, that's, I would assume that's not his first drug test.

He's failed. Back to the milking. What are we doing? I'll give a fuck about this dirt bag. Nah, it's fucked up. I wonder what they got him for. I will say this with drug test. I don't think it was Adderall.

Too much potassium. Buddy, you're low on iron. He can pass out at any second. That stuff usually moves through your body pretty quick. Weed's the only thing that really sticks around. No, I think pills help me up a little. Oh, they do? Yeah.

I know that. I know that. I know the good stuff comes from those. Also, it could be a hair test. Those things. They got you, they got you there. What is he working for, MI6? They got you dead to right.

Oh, if they're, if they're doing that, they are looking. This is more of a parenting drug test rather than an employer drug test I view. Okay. This is more of a family being like, hey, Chad, get your fucking shit together. Jesus Christ. One to four days depending on what you're taking.

Pill? Yeah. Wow. I remember going to pick up a buddy. He's probably dead now. I don't think he made it out of the fucking, I don't think he made it out of the early aughts. He was on probation and we were young.

Hey, I was like 16, he was on probation and we're like, oh, you hanging? He's like, yeah, come pick me up. Go pick him up. He walks out with a 24 pack of water on his shoulder. I was like, just got the call. They're coming in the morning. I'm like, huh?

They was just hanging just fucking. There was a tea they sold at like GNC or something like that. GNC had the tea. You can buy pee online. You can buy the fake weewees. You heat it up, the microwave. I mean, somebody just wrote in not too long ago. I got one of the fake weewees.

That they heat it up at a 7-Eleven microwave, like right next to the fucking, because a lot of times you go to the place to pee. It's boiling hot. What? I got a fever. Come on. Corona.

Holy shit. Uh, this one's from the real Sam Yam. Shout out to the yams. And the Contis. First time long time, $10 homey. I love how everybody, there's a lot of $10 homey pride. Yeah. At the live shows, yo, $10 homey,

by the, as they're walking away or walking off $10 homey. Shout it out. Much appreciated. Fucking love it. Love it. Have you ever frequented a bar where the water supply wasn't connected to the urinals? So the bartender kept filling them up

with ice throughout the night. Is that where they put the ice in there? I guess, yeah. I never thought of it, but yeah, that makes sense. I thought it was just a drain and no water. So the pee melts the ice, which flushes the water. I thought it was to dampen the pee, so it didn't go everywhere.

I guess. I mean, probably originally, in the old school bars, there wasn't a water connection over there, so they just used the ice. Not for the smell. The smell. The ice. The ice freezes the molecules that create the piss smell.

There you go. Fucking Johnny on the spot this week. This kid's all right. What'd you get? New computer? What's going on? The crazy part is I'm high. I need to figure this out for later, dude.

Go get a cut of his hair. We're going to test him. What have you got fired from a podcast for being high? What? He failed a drug test. He didn't have enough drugs in his system. I was smoking weed with you. Unfortunately, we detected no percocet in your blood.

For that reason, we're going to have to let you go. Which means you're a pussy. We can't have no narcs on the squad. Do you know what I mean? You pulled that shit on the street. You're dead. Our company Ethos is a good time. This one, this is the one I chuckled about,

because it took me a minute and I fully don't understand what, how this, I don't understand the scenario that leads to this, but it's a funny thought. This is from Stormy. Was your first time flying a return flight? You drove there and flew back? I guess. I don't know, which means you didn't.

That's got real rehab vibes. That's a rehab. I don't know. Somebody drove you there to sweat it out for a couple of hours, and then when you were all cleaned up, you got on the plane, flew back. Yeah, either it was a money thing or we'll fly. I don't know, but it's not great.

Yes, I would say it's right. You drove somewhere with somebody else and then you flew back. And I'll be honest with you, the second time I was on an airplane, I did that, because I drove to North Carolina to move there. And then when I left, I didn't have a car anymore, so I flew back. It smoked that.

Hey, you tested positive for a Ford. Yeah, I flew back. That's a little different. That's like a move, but I guess, but the return flight. Well, I didn't sell the car. I know, but I'm saying a return flight. More of a trade. A return flight doesn't imply a move.

You know what I mean? A return flight implies I went somewhere with the intention of coming back soon. You see what I'm saying? What's great. What's crazy is before you said that story, I was going to say. You explained it again.

A return. You didn't buy, when you went to North Carolina, you didn't book a return flight. You moved to North Carolina and then flew home. Yeah. Things didn't go great. No. But you were flying home.

That wasn't a necessarily return flight. Okay. See what I'm saying? The way I read it is this guy was going, drove to Disney and then flew home. I don't think they probably were going to Wally World or whatever. The only classy way I could see that going down

is I had a buddy who got paid a boatload of money to drive this sick Cadillac cross country. A lot of people do that. I know that. I know that. That's a good gig. Yeah. It's a good gig.

That's trashy. That's a good gig. Yeah. You got a nice get a tow. You got a vacation and a free flight. This fucking idiot posted a picture of him on a cliff in Utah drinking whiskey and shooting a gun off the cliff next to the car

he was driving. Jesus. Leave the car there. That reminds me. I had a kid who like tried a buddy of mine. He had a lot of fucking hair brains, like, you know, to make money and he started, he convinced somebody like a small business,

like a fucking sandwich shop or something to give him like 300 bucks to like do with their social media or whatever. This is like, you know, 15 years ago. And he posted a picture on Facebook of that's how long ago it was. And he's like, yo, shout out to the haters. Like I'm out here grinding, but posted a picture

of the check with like the name, the bank account number, the rounding number, the branch or 300 bucks. And I'm like, dude, I highly doubt your fucking first client wants their bank account information on Facebook. It's gosh, oh my bad, dude. My bad. You're right.

You're right. I'm like, that's a tough look. It immediately fails. Hey, what's up, everybody? I'm great at Facebook. Here's all their personal information. I would freak out. I don't want anybody to know my routing number.

No. Routing number? I don't even know what it is. Routing numbers are fine. It's your, both of them could jam you up a little bit. Yeah, right? Everybody has, it depends on where, like, if you're a, you know, Chase Bank in New York,

everybody has the same routing number. Oh, okay. It's just the location of the bank. Huh. Oh, there you go. Zero, two, one, zero, zero's. You know your routing number? I know Chase's routing number.

I know my routing number as well. I used to do wire transfer. That's a man with anxiety right there. You know the routing number. I just had to type it so many times. Zero, two. Don't tell anybody. It's everybody.

You're joking. You can Google New York. Toby, cut that. I don't want people knowing the bank that I might go to. Kippy, I was in line in a grocery store. They had to type in a number for a vegetable. 40, 30, go. Cucumbers.

Pickles. Stop. 40, 30. Hold on. You could use deductive reasoning to figure that out. Toby, what fruit or what vegetable would Toby be getting? I wasn't going to get it. It was the person in front of me.

Ooh. Wow, that's a curveball. He would be, you know, a squash kind of guy, I think. More of a dino nugget, man. 40. I don't think he would ever buy vegetable. When was the last time you bought a vegetable? 1986.

You're born in 89. I don't, 40, 30. It's common because the tomatoes. Tomatoes. No, it could be. I know what it is. Can I guess? Is it green peppers?

Ah, not green peppers. Wait, wait. Scallions. Ah, we're looking for radishes. Radishes. Who the fuck's buying radishes? Who knows radishes? Yeah, that's what the test was for.

That's, you hit me with a fucking red seedless grape. I think they were selling radishes. I think they were selling radishes. 488, what do you want? I think they were selling radishes that enact me in Bucks County in the early 90s. Are you kidding me? Get a guy locked up for something like that.

I remember taking that produce. That's commie talk. Having so much on, like thinking my life was on the line. Produce. And he would hold up. You had to take a test. Yeah, he would hold up like, what's this? And you had to write the code.

A comb. Fuck. You idiot propeller. Good stuff. Yeah, someone on Patreon also suggested that I take my driving test without doing any prior research. And we want to film that. So if you got a drive in school that we can shoot at.

That's not going to be an AYG. There's too much liability. Him behind the wheel, he kills somebody. You know, it's the last thing. You couldn't go to a driving school. You have to have your permit. You have to just go to the, without studying or anything. Oh, you got to have your permit first.

There you go. Now that driver's license? Not after 25 or whatever. 18 in a lot of states, 21 in some. Connecticut's the only one that after 21 makes you get a permit. I think we should do that. That would be great. He just goes and wings it.

You just make, you could figure that. You know how to turn left and turn right, right? I've driven a car. Yeah, there you go. I think you would do okay. Plus I play a lot of Mario. This is not under, this is in public. This is not under the AYG banana.

I'll sponsor. Banana? What was the AYG banana? Banana. I'll put up the money. I got produce on the brain. 4011, 4011, 4011. Red onion, red onion.

Sound like Tom Brady. Red onion, cucumber. Fucking idiot. Whose car are you going to use? Big red. The dog, hair, mobile, patties? I don't think so. You'd have to get approval for that.

Plus she'd have to wet her beak on the Patreon that month. She don't play ball. Time is money. Moving on. Or if you have a private dirt track I could race on before I get my license. That's the dream. Sure.

That sounds like a Toby Industries. Yeah, you're not taking the fucking explorer on a fucking dirt track. Get you a mini bike or something. And a cousin sister to watch it. All right, let's see here. This one's from Omar. Long time, first time, fellas.

Is it garbage if your parents send you to the old country for college because it's cheaper? That's what I want to do. What's the old country? Wherever they're from, clearly. Is that cheaper? Probably Europe. Oh my god.

College in Europe is like $3,000 for the- Even like Oxford or the Sorbonne? Oxford's probably a little different. Or it might be the same, but I don't, I mean, I don't know. You have the greed. Yeah, you gotta, it's very just who gets in. Huh. I would assume.

I don't know. But yeah, like, I think my- Sending my kid to college in Ireland? My wife's college was like $3,000, like for every, like, for the four years. Damn. Yeah, pretty crazy. No football team, though.

Sending the kids over there. They have sports in college over there? I don't know. It's not as, like, commercialized. I was actually just talking about this. She was saying it is because there's more, there's more branding of, like, come-to-fucking- Frankfurt.

Stukul Hassan. Yeah, whatever. Average price in Europe is $7,300. Per year. And in the U.S., it's $25 or X. Yeah. It's a lot of money. Man.

States. I wasted a couple of bucks on college. Poor bastards. I told him I didn't want to go. I still owe a couple of bucks. You do? I paid a lot off, but I still owe a couple of bucks. It's probably like, I think it's $600, I owe,

to the federal government. Come get it out of my cold, dead, Patreon hands. Who's that? Sally Jones? What's she called? No. Who's the broad? Clint Sally May.

What's her deal? She sold, she then passed me off to Navian. Who, Navian, passed me off to someone else? I got, dude, I was getting passed around like a loose joint. I've seen those Navian envelopes. Yikes. Uh-huh. Send it certified or it never happened.

I'm all, yeah, I'm all pretty squared up. I moved. What? My mailman, I think he's on there. Collection agencies and fucking people like that must be so jammed up. Who the fuck answers a call that they don't know their number? Oh, yeah, no.

Fuck out of here. Take a hike. You still a little college ones? Nah. So you're different like a week, right? Yeah, baby. One semester. That's all I needed.

There you go. I got everything I need. Time to learn how to finger pop. Keep it moving. I'm more of a private sector kind of guy. All right, let's do one more and get up out of her. Let's see here. Sorry, I'm all over the place.

All right, this one's from Dr. Jasper Schitzengigels. Okay. First time long. My cardiologist, believe it or not. Sorry, that's not who I want to do. Ah, Doc, sorry about that. Yeah, well, let's see what we can just do. We'll do two.

What's the trashiest knockoff article of clothing or product you've ever owned? Example, pay less adidas with the four stripes. We were never really a knockoff family or company we never really did that knockoff stuff. The most embarrassing, one of the most embarrassing things was I said I had the Nash skateboard and went to a skate shop and they were like...

I had a Nash skateboard. That was the first skateboard I got. That's more of a toy rather than a knockoff though. It was on the bottom, it said locals only. It's real poser shit. Real. Trucks were like that thick. Yeah, they're typically plastic.

Brutal. Um, we were more off brand when it came to food in the house. The fristed flakes, the toastums, instead of the fucking pop tarts, we've covered that. But for a while when I was a kid, there was not light... I think it was life as the beach hats. They were these little like Hawaiian hats.

They look like little bikers hats, like what, like a cyclist would wear. Sure. And like, you know, you'd put your thing up. Kids were wearing them, but it was one specific brand that was pop. It was life as the beach, but there was a shitload of knockoff ones.

Yeah, and you had that. Yeah. And also too, jams. Remember jams, the shorts? They were like Hawaiian shorts? Not really. They were popular. And, um, my mom wouldn't let me get them.

But in the home act that year... Ooh, this is bad. This is real bad. In home act that year... Made a pair of jams. I made a pair of jams. And I had to wear them. I was forced to wear them.

To school? It was a tough look. And I made them. They were horrible. It was like the Gordon Garth show. Really, you seemed like quite the seamstress. One leg was longer than the other. It was a bad look.

Yeah. Yeah. We were big on the store brand. Like, we were a super fresh family. Oh, yeah! America's Choice. America's Choice for everything that wasn't a big brand name,

if that makes sense. Sure. Like, we would do like America's Choice for like all the chip, but like chips, pretzels, you had, you fucking had to come correct, or I'd send her right back. What was the line your parents would use for that?

My parents had the stock line of, you're just paying for the packaging. That was big. Yeah, probably that. That's all. You're paying for the marketing. That and like, how do you think they keep the lights on over there?

Like, it was like very like, that was a big thing. I like go into a casino. Like, why do you think they're in big, bright lights? Because they always take your money. And they do. Shout out to Bayleys.

Bastards. Fairly not the hard way. Yeah, I believe that. But now I've learned, the name brand is always better. Name brand is better. There's a reason they're the name brand. It really is.

There might be like a close. You might find a salad dressing or something like that. Yeah, like there might be something that does 80% of the name brand. You're like, ah, this is pretty good for a store brand. But you're qualifying it. You're going, this is good for a store brand. What my mom told us when I was a kid,

well, first, no, we're not getting that. Too expensive. Shout out. Getting a cart. Getting a cart. Do my thing. Have my grapes. Keep it moving.

But we were told that it's the same thing that. Yeah, that's what poor people say. They, like, Cocoa Puffs has to give the store. The same one. The same product so they could get the shelf space. I found out that was not true. No. Yours made no fucking cardboard box factory.

That cereal sucks. Next to the hammer. Oh, man. Yeah, that cereal, fuck it. The bag of cereal. Yeah, we never. That was our dude. Walk into somebody's house with that.

That was our red flair. Yeah. Can't sleep over. Gotta go. All right, this one's from F. Millie. Fruitems or something. I lived near state fairgrounds and was wondering. Could brag in there.

It's trash to charge people to park in your yard during said fair. We make a little case on the side for doing this. That lays extra. I fucking. I respect it. I respect it. Yeah, I highly doubt they're probably. If you're the only ones in the neighborhood doing it,

I've probably a tough look at the, you know. Cars everywhere. At the block party. Yeah, but like. That's awesome. I assume everybody's kind of doing it. Sure. I went to like a game somewhere in a city.

Like I'm sure it was like LA or something. I like the Staples Center Dodger Stadium. And they were like, park it. You know, park here, park here. And the guys like, yeah, leave your keys. In case you're like, dude, you're just some guy on a fucking screen. Giving you the keys. Leave your keys.

Yeah, look at the fuck out of here, dude. Cubs games. Yeah, everybody. Oh, I get, I get. They do it at Cubs games. Oh, big. But who has houses? Like who has people have garages?

Yeah, something like a one. What do you get? Like two tree cars? Yeah, some businesses will do it too. Like Clark Street dog, their whole, their whole part. They have a parking lot that's never used except for Cubs games. Damn. And they pile them out.

Wow. What are the Cubs, what is the Cubs parking whoever's doing that, thinking that? They don't have parking. Oh, really? It's a stadium in the middle of the goddamn city. Damn. And there's no parking lot over there?

Nothing? Jesus. Clark dogs. He just told you. Good guy. It's not the big. Good for Clark dogs. But we got to ramp it up.

Hold on. I say it's trash, but I respect it. Yeah, of course. It's not. I think the way it would be really trashy is if you were the only, like if your neighbors were like, what the fuck, this guy's got cars all over the fucking. But I'm assuming everybody, that's probably like,

I'll wait for everybody to make a couple of bucks. I'm in, baby. Sign me up. Sure. Slush fund. Gang, we love you. Love yous. We'll be back next week.

We're going to have some new dates coming up on the road late summer, early fall. It's going to be a fun time. Yes. Couple of new t-shirts over there on at bonfire.com. Take a look. Sure is. Sure is.

Other than that, can't thank you enough. We love you and we'll see you next week. Peace.