Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Fan Questions with Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: August 13, 2020

Special episode of AYG! It's a hot one when Kippy & Foley answer listener questions. We get into the best and worst food, trashy homes, and trying to rent an apartment when you're poor. Listen & Share! Support our Sponsors: https://yokratom.com For a 60$ Kilo Today! Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Forman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage, the show where we sit down with your favorite comedians in front of the group classy or after a big old piece of shit. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful, it's a Sunday evening here in New York City. Everything has calmed down. There's a great energy in the air. It's been nice and warm. We got a beautiful week coming up ahead and we thought

it would be a nice opportunity to do a little family time. The old family episode. Just me and Kippy, Kevin, James, Ryan, truth be told, we're still working on some audio, video issues. I just stroked out right there. Yeah. Big shout out to our, to our producer, our partner, our comrade, Toby McMullen, who's over there working the old ones and twos. Set the whole thing up. We love you, buddy. Smoking his jewel like a fucking, like some new age fucking millennial over there. You kids with those jewels, man. I don't know. I'm watching you, gang. My co-host is sitting across the table from me. Uh, he, uh, when he's a kid, he liked his eggs. Dippy. Okay. Like this peanut butter. Skippy. Yeah. When he gets a couple IPAs in him, he gets a little

give it up for the one, the only the fucking master of ceremonies, the chairman of the board, his name's on the lease gang insurance. Still not covered. I shut up the Kelly Sue. That's my agent. Really? Something like that. Yeah. Gang. Kevin James, Ryan, everybody. Look at him. He's here. He's in the flesh. Hey. He's fucking two feet away from me. Look at him. The godfather. Hey, what's up guys? Happy to be here. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Yes. Those numbers are through the fucking roof. Thank you so much. Please make sure you subscribe on YouTube as well. Those numbers are fucking through the

fucking roof. And then the big one, baby, www.patreon.com slash are you garbage? Um, guys, and listen to, we do these episodes because we get hundreds of fucking questions that people write in. They message us, email DM, you know, comment on Facebook. Also check out the Facebook group and stuff like that. Yeah, those guys are awesome. Um, but we can't get to all of them. There's just too many. Um, so what we're doing is when you join the Patreon, we're going to automatically, you know, read your question. If you submit one, if you don't have to, I mean, most of you did also shout out, we're almost at, by this time this comes out, we'll probably be at our first benchmark on Patreon, which is 250, which we do the MTV Cribs of the

Foley household. Want to discuss that with you? Yeah. Go ahead. I think that's getting a little bit of pushback from Mr. and Mrs. It's happening. Of course it's fucking happening. We got 250 people on the chomping at the bit for it. I'll send those bozos out for a steak dinner and go in there with fucking tea money and fucking shoot that. My mom was talking about a little cash. You know what I mean? I'm sure some sort of rental. They know. Yeah. They know. It's fucking, you know, that's a pronto's house. They paid those people. Patty and Terry got to get their fucking beaks a little bit. You guys are far from the sopranos house. Okay. Maybe the pool house of the soprano house. They never hung out in there. I don't know what the problem was. I would

have been hanging out in the pool house all the time on the sopranos. Yeah. But guys, thank you so much. So that's what we're going to do. We have a shit ton of super, super good questions from the Patreons and we're going to fucking get into it now. I got to go. So if you want to get a question on the air, sign up for Patreon. Right? Yes. Patreon.com. Right when you sign up, we're going to read through your questions. We're going to get to as many as we can today. But I mean, there's, you know, hundreds to get through. So we're going to be cranking them out, you know, every week or so and getting to it. You know what I mean? Mm hmm. Why do you got a weird shitting grin on your face? I don't like it. I'm just thinking about the conversation I had

with my mother yesterday. She's not going to like me and their shit on her fucking house. Okay. Okay. I'm going to get her pack of balls and send her down the block. Well, I told them they got it. They got to hit the fucking skids for a little while. I don't know. We're going to do it the old man. We're going to do it Igor. We got to get that space chair. We got to get him out of that. Oh, I'm definitely fucking pulling my butt in that thing. Turning the heater on on that and fucking going to town on myself. Man, I do. I don't care what kind of fucking sectional you got in your house. This that dude, a good recline, a good dirty trashy recliner that like was like Cheetos and like down in the armrest and stuff that have just been like worn in that like your

dad or your uncle has just been fucking farting and watching fucking football in for fucking the last 30 years. You get one of those things when you were a kid fucking. Yeah, we had a lazy boy that the dog commit like fucking committed suicide. No, he talk. He just what do they call that when you like steal the food? They stop you when a police stops you and goes get out. They coriander or what's the word? What is it? No, they take something. Stopping frisk. What are you talking about? No, when like in like the movies where they're like, I'm a police commandeer, they come and get my dog, the dog commandeer, the lazy boy and fucking took that thing over. Dude, you couldn't sit on without him getting all fucking. If a cop ever did that shit,

would you give me your car and get the fuck out of it? I got no gas. Fucking easy passes after me. I can't be doing maybe if we maybe if we can talk about you clearing some fucking picky. They never did ever say that in the movie. Get in there. He fucking got a quarter tank. Yeah, the fuck chasing a helicopter here. Like it. Yeah, I'm like, I've been low on a wheel for three weeks. I'm like, take it easy on the fucking. You're going to get far in that donut officer. By the way, real trash bag move. First of all, after we do my house, we're going to do my car. Is it going to be the next bench? And I tell you that thing is this thing is a real piece of shit. You it almost looks like it might be a like, you know, like a James Bond car made

to look like a piece. It looks so cartoonishly shitty. Like you have the rust around the back wheels. And here's the real thing. Things are real shit box. I parked my whip on the same street that you parked on it because Sunday, New York City got free parking park anywhere. It's fucking fantastic because we'll be getting crushed coming into the city where the studio is. There's no parking anywhere. Yeah, by the way, I'll be turning to my receipts at the end of the month. Yeah, I don't know if it's you. It's gonna be coming out of your paycheck too, big man. I don't know if it's you or Susie who ever you got a handle on the fucking numbers. But I walk by your car and you still have your parking garage. That was from this morning. Yeah, that's I saw it.

Let people know you got a little money. Yeah, you know, I'm fucking valet in this thing. You know what I mean? I'm dropping it off up front, tossing the keys. I took a nice pick of that. I'll post it. You're fucking trash bag fucking car. I looked inside a couple of mentionables in there. Oh yeah, for sure. Well, I've been living in it. I was a fuck I was driving. I was in well, he can some driving up and back and forth and fucking Connecticut. Dude, I'm fucking late night Mickey D's to stay up and shit like that. Oh, yeah. Kippy's got the Ronys. Super spreader event. All right. So this is actually this plays into it. This is this is the first one from Patreon. This is John Griffiths. Do you or any family member currently own a car

from a company that no longer exists? Trash example, Saturn Oldsmobile. Well, hold on. Wait, Saturn went under. Yeah, while they had it for like fucking six years in the 90s. Wow. And then really shit to bed. Those little fucking things like they were like matchbox cars. Those things hit the fucking bricks. Saturn's man. How do you get parts for something like that? I don't know. You got to go back in time. That's fucking trash. No, they still make parts for it, I guess. What do we got? We got a Ford Explorer. There's a Jeep. Do they still make the Mercury? Is Mercury still a company? No, no, no, that awful. They all like rolled in. It was Mercury Oldsmobile,

Chevy, like they all folded it. So you're answering yes to that. Yeah, of course. They stopped making my, I've never owned a car that was in production. Ever. I had the shit, I had fucking, I talked about it before. I had like three Chevy Luminas. Vintage models. Yeah. That's a great question. Yeah. My family doesn't buy new cars, even when they get a little bit of cash. They've never, my mom just got her first new car. Yeah. Ever. What'd she get? Like a fucking Mercury. She got like a Chevy Traverse. That's why you got a lease, baby. A lease. You fucking lease. You get a brand new car every three years, doesn't matter what you do to it. A lease. Yeah, but I feel like you're paying way more money. There's a reason they want

you to lease the car and your fat fucking family's waiting out front to drive and sign event. Just fucking taking them out, fucking pulling any car every three weeks, pulling a new car off the lot. Drive and sign event. Oh man, that's fucking trash. That's a trash. Did you ever go to the actual deal, like the dealership with your father? Because my dad was a fucking master at fucking beating up guys and getting a fucking good deal. It was always fun to go with him to the car dealership on like a Saturday when he was looking at a new car. No, I went one time with with my stepdad, who's a curmudgeon, right? He's like, he's gotta see. He doesn't like talking to anybody. He definitely doesn't like spending money. He was fucking buying me a car before I got

the TGO. And he, we walked in and the guy called me. We sit down. I had a break like my stepdad. We had to go into like, I went and picked it out. I knew somebody working there. So like, wait, hold on. You were getting a car? I was getting a car before I got the TGO. Okay, the Lumina. No, it was after the loom. I didn't, the loom had broken down. You weren't buying a new car. No, I was buying a used car. You gotta bring your stepdad in for that. You fucking bozo. Yeah, he was fucking foot in the bill for. What are you talking about? Where do you think I got the TGO? Was it one of those? Wait, first of all, you're breaking my balls. You're 44 and you're driving your parents' car. That's not true. I pay for my car. What are you talking

about? It ain't in your name. Cut the cameras. It ain't in your name. It ain't in my name for legal purposes. Yes. Same with me. You ain't got no money. Legally, I can't afford it. I got warrants out there. Yes. I mean, I was 20 or something like that. Was it a used car lot? It wasn't like a dealership. It was a dealership. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Because there's a couple of used car lots in my hometown. I've gone kicking tires. You know what those scumbags do? Like on Route 1, especially on Route 1. They always put like a Mustang out front or something like that. Well, the competitors go and slash the tires with like ice picks so they can't sell them and shit like that. Yeah. That dude fucking used car salesman and fucking real grease balls.

It's like it's just like the fucking they have like a trailer. That's the whole office. Oh, yeah. Like, dude, this is a fucking trailer home. There's like two desks in the corner in a water cooler. Look at the fuck are the keys? Some bird up front doing the books. But we went and like the guy kept calling me Ryan. Why? Because he didn't learn my name. Like they told him, like, oh, it's Kevin Ryan or whatever. And like the closer was he kept calling me run like he had the paperwork in front of me. And he's like, yeah, Ryan, you know, just like Ryan, you're gonna be out there in that new car. It's gonna be nice. You thought your first thing was Ryan, which happens a lot. Yeah. But my stepdad's getting ready to fucking cut this dude

check goes his fucking names, Kevin. And I was like, Oh, God. Oh, boy. That was the end of the transaction. Because he don't like you either. He don't like me. He don't like that. He's got to spend fucking money. You don't want to know your name. No, no. But he goes I ain't he we did we walked. What? Oh, yeah. That's why you never talk about this car. What car were you gonna get? It was a Lincoln. Say, tell the tail. Lincoln's better than you. I know. Right. Lincoln. What are you Matthew McCuddo? I just got his book, by the way. You're joking. No. Oh, man, that's awesome. Yeah, I can read. Let's do a couple interviews about it. He's fucking he's he's ace. He's gone though. He's crazy. I don't know. I like him. I love him coming here in a fucking crop top and

my fucking hair is like back to read the book. All right. All right. Welcome back to are you garbage everybody drinking like fucking tequila on the rocks or whatever. He's a dude that one commercial where he's sitting out in the middle of the field drinking scotch. Yeah. Wild Turkey or something. He does what a fucking hillbilly Lincoln and Wild Turkey. All right. Lincoln. Um, but I feel like it's probably one of your cousin. Does anyone in your this is from Dom Fearon. Okay. Does anyone? I mean, I mean, does any do have any family members gotten a sports team tattoo? I know we're not. We're not. You're one foley's my one cousin. Yeah, the kid. The singer. I think he's got an Eagles tat. Jordan. Yeah. Jordan Flaherty. Yeah. Jordan

Flaherty music everybody. Keep it in the fucking family. I think I think he's got a fucking like Eagles calf that I could be wrong. I can't imagine Jordan getting the tattoo. I think the foley's and the Flaherty's we're pretty anti tattoo and a tattoo people. Yeah, I don't think so. Neither. Yeah. Ian has a Phillies tattoo Ian finance our friend who's a fucking trash. Yeah. Our first guest. I don't I don't yeah. No one really has tattoos in my family. My dad was going to get the fighting Irishman one time because even a Notre Dame fan. I don't know. See, I think that's garbage because there's a lot of people that do get the fighting Irish guy and they're not Notre Dame. Yeah, but like you have this weird Notre Dame thing where

it's like, you know, if you're not a Notre Dame fan, you can't do it. Like shut up really. You have a problem with their name. Yeah, like this is you know, whatever. No, I don't. But the fact that you think that, hey, man, don't be using the logo if you don't support the team. That's trash. Yeah, that's real fucking trash. Man. Yeah. I tell you when we went to when I went to the Eagles game with Tommy Pope a couple weeks ago, we were walking out and there was a grown man with his kid, like his kid, like a 10 or 11 year old kid, just harassing to like college age with the Giants fans. And like, they were like, yeah, whatever, man, whatever. And like, he like wouldn't let it go. He was like trailing them. Like, like, like naming specific things in like

the 80s of like when they played or something like that. I think I just lost my audio. No, I hear you. Yeah, you can hear me. Yeah. Was going in and out a little bit, but like just fucking, like badger them. Like, that's a level of garbage. That's not that's Philly to Philly's ultimate. Yeah. Especially when it comes to sporting events. Super fucking trash. Super trashy, man. Okay, this is from Adam K. What is the least amount of money you'll Venmo request someone for? I never request anything. I don't like I can't do the request. Yeah, we talk, we talk off air. We find I get a text. Yeah, I don't like I don't use it. It's tacky to me, especially when someone's like, I'll just request you send a request. I'm like, no, no, no, no. Yeah. What

are you? Yeah, you make good with the funds. How much do I send the required put in a fucking invoice or fucking gotta get a PO cut. We don't use it that much. I mean, we use it sometimes like, Hey, we got to pay this pay that whatever. But we just tell each other, which by the way, this guy's a little slow with the fucking Venmo payments. You like to drag your feet a little bit. You're fucking TD bank like to keep it in your account. A growing interest for it comes into my pocket. What are you talking about? No, yeah, I got to send you a couple reminders every one. Well, it's like 1250. I mean, why I put like fucking 20 grand in the studio and you're like, Hey, man, you still owe me that. You still owe me fucking $14 for lunch the other day.

I'm like, Yeah, you'll get it when you I see a bit. Yeah. Hey, thanks for the new switcher. You should leave it at cheek for today. Yeah, never do request. That's tacky. It's tacky. It is. And I give the kids these days that credit, okay, because, you know, as a former fucking server, okay, it's you go to fucking a table and it's fucking six dudes and they're splitting the check fucking nine ways. And then they want to do individual fine. Now, what happens when someone jumps on their grenades and says, Hey, I'll put it on my car and Venmo. Yeah, Venmo me. I like that move. But the request is fucking trash. Yeah. And now there's, do you do cash app? That's another thing.

What's cash app? Do you do? You don't toe T bone. Don't fuck with it. Yeah, it's new money shit to me. It's the kids that go, I'm Venmo, right? That's like the fucking that's like the, you know, the Roth trial. You know, I'm not doing this fucking new money shit or whatever you got going on cash. When I discovered sounds like fucking North Korea made it when I first got Venmo. As you know, I don't know if the audience knows this. I didn't have a bank account up until maybe two or three years ago. And then now I'm fully integrated. I got, you know, I fucking debit card credit card and got your mom's name on it. That is not a, where's it right down the barrel? Ladies and gentlemen, that is not a joke.

That's not true. I'll show you my wallet right now. What's in your wallet? My mom's name, but to my mom's debit cards now, but yeah, and then when I stumbled across Venmo and realized they had that instant transfer, this is how trashy. That's another thing. I'll still pay. I'll pay for the instant transfer. I could have not that I do, but I could have it. I'm not waiting one to three business days. I might not make it even if it's for five bucks. I'm going at JG. It went worth. It's my money and I need it now, buddy. I'll take the 350. He shipped to the fucking cheddar, daddy.

Fuck door number two. Toby, Toby's losing his mind. I don't trust these fucking flybys on ass. No, man. They can close down. That's the cost of doing business. Yeah, I love it. It's five. It's like 10 cents. 10 cents.

You're back again. 10 cents. Yeah, take it. I don't give you, I don't give you, I don't give you 50 percent, daddy. Let the kid win his peak. Oh, man. That's a paypal does it too. What should I realize?

I would love watching that little circle go around where they show like the little bank and the little PayPal thing. And they did it. There should be one more of me like stuffing cheeseburgers in my mouth. Because I've moved some figures on PayPal that I'm not sure how legally that's going to what the legal ramifications are come the end of the year. For some reason, I feel like are they capping at 10 bucks, which ain't bad.

Yeah, that's nice because I feel Toby's losing it by the way. Sometimes, sometimes I'll leave money in my Venmo because I feel like that's like a safe. Yeah. If something to couch cushions, you got a couple of bucks. Yeah. Like if something happened and like the heat came down on me for whatever reason, not that there is a reason, but I'm just saying. You can be relaxed knowing you got nine bucks in your Venmo account.

No, but I always feel like they won't look in there. I don't know. I don't know why. Yeah. The world's worst fucking spy. Ah, they got my Venmo. God damn it. They know my PayPal.

These guys are good. Yeah. It's the FBI. It's all in your email address. Oh, great question. Yeah. What a fucking great fucking question. Venmo pay requests is fucking.

It's not even garbage. It's a fucking pack. It can be a tacky tacky. Yeah. Don't be doing that shit. Sucking. You owe somebody money. Get out in front of it.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. You go out to dinner. Hey, all Venmo, you send the text. And plus another thing too. I've said this a couple of times. Dude, make every single transaction private.

What are we doing? I don't want to, I don't care. Unless I can see a dollar amount, then know what everybody's dealing with. Because when somebody says hey for pizza, and it's 200 bucks. Why are you reading it? Because it automatically comes up.

I always have to switch it over to just my transaction. You're telling me you don't do a little scrollie scroll to see what people are doing? I don't believe it. I'm a monies guy. If they put the, if they put the dollar amount on there, I'm a game show guy. Yeah.

And I like the way I like the fucking prices. Yeah, I don't give a shit that, you know, like some little joke that fucking Tony says to Steve. I want to know what they're... Couple of eggplants or something. Yeah, I want to know what they're doing. Sure. A lot of my friends will just say drugs.

They'll just put four drugs. That's awesome. Drugs are great. Yeah, they play fast and loose. This is from Cracked Open, which I believe is a shout-out to know that's history Ihena's reference. Very nice.

Did you ever collect baseball cards or any sports cards as a kid in hopes that they would be worth something one day? If you want to know how trashy I am, Foley, don't even answer. If you want to know how trashy I am, I was home probably about, I don't know, eight weeks ago. Looking through the inventory?

I got them in the trunk. I put them in the trunk. I'm like, I'll skim through these when I get home. I got a bunch of NHL cards. I'm like, there might be a couple of ropes in here. Oh my God, NHL. I was end up. I was in a bad place with even worse people.

I needed a little bit of storage. My ears perked up a little bit a couple of days ago on the news when I heard that the value of those cards have spiked a little bit for some reason. I follow Gary Vee. He's a big fucking arbitrage guy flipping them. So I started poking my nose around. Well, I was looking for something in my childhood bedroom.

My old porno, man. Shout-out to Erotica, first DVD I ever owned. Erotica, that's what it was called. What was the plot? It was they weren't a tank. What do you mean? They weren't a tank? Fucking in a tank.

Hey, Sarge, I got a huge cock over here. I apologize for our younger viewers. Is that a cannon in your pocket? Yeah, it was a couple of Stortis, a TSA guy, the pilot. Someone's voting in the first class lady. It's a whole thing. The story's back then. What was the name?

Chloe Jones or Chloe James? She was like a big blonde bombshell. Yeah, I was a Nina Hartley fan when I was a kid. You would know. She sounds old. Tight little body. I'll tell you that. Tight little body.

What were you looking for? I forget. I don't know. Sometimes I just try to. Money is what you were looking for. No. You ended up in your mom's sock drawer. And I found like a book of cards.

I was like, oh, fuck, maybe. What did you collect? Was it tops? I had no, I never like baseball. I never like baseball as a kid. So I mean, I didn't really do that, but we had like hockey, basketball, fucking, you know, this is a football couple of football ones,

like pro bowl cars. I'm like, maybe these are something I started. I started like typing on man, and they were worth like fucking a nickel. And I'm like, I'm like, this isn't even worth, worth my time typing in the fucking names. They seem like you're downstairs fucking price checking the fucking China cabinet.

You fucking scumbag. I'll tell you what I did because we just moved from apartment department for a while. I had this double, I don't know if I, if I'm saying this right, like a double eagle dime. I had a dime that was really old, and it was different from you. Oh, that's bad.

And I looked it up and I was like, this, there was like a thing where like, it could be worth a lot of money. You got that little monocle in. I got a jewel. Yeah, this is a double eagle nickel we got here. I'm down on 40 seconds. They were buffalo fucking uncut gems.

Fucking Kevin Garnett's gonna beat you up or whatever. Holy man, let me get that done. Let me just wear it at the game tonight. It's my lucky dime. I can't do it. I lay up the felt. You had to belt it trash. But, and I put it, I put it, you know,

because I get it mixed up with all your change because we got a huge change door. Mostly, mostly nickels and pennies. You sift through the, you sift through the fucking hardware on that quick. You saw me doing that when I put air in the tires the other day. All right, let's pause this for a second. I watched the saddest thing ever.

Oh, I can't put air in my tires? No, he almost couldn't physically. You were fucking huffing and puffing. If I returned the car with fucking light tires, my gets mad, you know what I mean? He goes, he's got a digital reader, like air pressure. I got a classy automobile, yes. So he goes, let me know when it gets to 36.

And I'm like, was that like 29? I'm like, all right, first of all, all four of his tires are low. And he's like, I wonder what it is. I'm like, it's probably the fucking dead. It's the heavy payload this thing's pulling. I was saying it Toyota Tundra. This is a Jeep, daddy.

It's a fucking JD power and associate. You got a Jeep Liberty, dude. You even got the mini one. It's like a micro machine. The thing where they land the plane in the back of a pickup truck. That's what he got. They just show me parachuting in on it. Um, I don't know.

It was, I think it was because it got really cold. So my tire, the fucking air went out of my tire. But we were going, where were we going? We're going to pick up this table. Oh, yeah. That's Long Island. Yeah, it was raining at that. I didn't want to get out of the fucking Long Island expressway

and fucking lunch it. Hey, it took him 45 minutes to fill up his tires. And he goes, you have to bend down to fill it in. And he goes, let me know when it goes honk the horn when it gets to 35. So he pulls it in and he can't bend over long enough. So he's popping up at like fucking 31. Is it there yet?

I'm like, I told you I'd beep the horn. Ah, it's closing out. It's all right. Oh, man, you fucking, it was like one of those things where like you were learning to walk and you're like, he's got to do it on his own. I was like, he's got to learn how to do it on his own. That's funny.

Yeah, it was, it was a struggle. Wow, man. He would have thought you were in a fucking wrestling match. Got them pumped up though. It was nice. Yeah. This is our trashy. That air compressor got the best day.

But you did have a hard time digging for fucking quarters. Pulling up a couple of french fries and stuff under the seat. Old onion ring. Couple of mott's sticks. Got marinara back here. Oh, I had a cold mozzarella stick the other day. It was fantastic. That's fucking gross.

Smoking old mott's. Smoking only a cigar. Hey, what do you say? What do you know? It's like a deep right cannoli at that point. That's not a bad idea. I'm telling you what, deep right cannolis. Put a patent on that.

Check the timestamp on this. We got a hot deal going here. This is our trashy. We were. All right. What was the question? The baseball. Oh, it's like a cracked open.

That's www.patreon.com. Dude, that's a great question. They would, when I was a kid in the 80s and 90s, they were huge. And then when I got into like high school, like they were even, they were even bigger. Like they were like sleek and they had the different. Hologra. Some of them are holographic stuff.

Yeah, yeah, they were really doing it. We only got my brother every year for his birthday from choked on my old Chipotle. Every year for my brother's birthday, he got a full deck, the full season of tops for like seven years. Now at a certain point, you know what I mean? He ain't around no more. He's off to college.

I did a little poking around. Fucking grifted a couple out. So I got your rookie cards. I got a few in my in my drawer at home. So yeah, yeah, to answer your question, we're trash because we both, I've recently started kicking the tires on my old fucking books. And you got anything you got anything of mention in there? Nah, I had like a couple of cars parked too.

Grab me a crowbar to a B and A. Well, I was going to sit because I knew we were going to do the fucking, you know, oh, yeah, we should put them in here. Oh, we could. Yeah. Yeah. There we go. A couple go missing.

I mean, dude, I found one that was worth like $1.30. It was somebody was bidding on it for $1.37. Oh, you got to do that shit. You can't just take them. I would take them. I think you go to a store or something. No, it's like pond stars are going to give you 10% of what it's worth. They got to sit on it for a while.

You know what I mean? They got to bring an expert in. I got a card guy. Let me bring in a guy who knows what he's talking about. All right. Because I'm just some other dirt bag. Fucking Nevada hillbilly. I've been crushing pond stars, by the way.

That dude that runs the fucking Cook County or Clark County Museum, the fucking Amish looking dude. Yeah. That guy knows his shit. Yeah. You think they really know or they do some research on it beforehand? Hey, I'm coming in with a musket. Yeah, they don't know it though.

Hey, Wikipedia for an hour. Fucking Rick Harrison can fucking take a hike. He doesn't know what to talk about. Shout out to Chum Lee. Chummy! This is another one. This is from Chris. Great question, by the way.

Yeah, that was fantastic. This is from Chris. Have you ever had dishes in your car? Spoon, bowl, glass, or plate? I'll tell you this. When I was at theater school, we lived in like a farmhouse together. And there was a bunch of people that lived there. The story changes.

It's like a new thing. We lived in a shoe for six weeks. And we would take food into our room and eat it. Okay. And if we didn't feel like watching the dishes, we would throw them all in a box and then drive them somewhere to a dumpster and just throw them out. Wow, that's insane.

Because we didn't feel like doing the dishes. I currently have two spoons in my glove box. Why? It's my fucking wife. I didn't know they were in there. I was looking for a lighter. She gets like a yogurt or something or a fucking smoothie or something. From the house?

Yeah. Bringing your silverware out of the house. That seems trashy. I'm not a fuck. I don't fucking cosign. I didn't know they were in there. They had to be in there for months. Yeah.

They were at the bottom of the center console. We don't. That would never fly at the Foley household. Bringing fucking, taking the silverware out of the house. I know it's where you're going with it. My motto, patch it down before you leave. Yeah, where you going? What are you doing with the button?

Yeah, I have two fucking spoons in my fucking. Yeah, I fucking really bothered me. Yeah, really. We also, we always had a couple bent silver too. Heroin? No, we would have like a bent knife because like I, you know, somebody tried to use it for something when I didn't feel like getting a screwdriver.

Yeah, like we'll have a fork that's like out of sync a little bit. Or the big one was we would. Would always be a big tablespoon that was like bent a little bit from trying to get ice cream out. Oh, yeah. It gets a little wobbly. You need a good scooper. You got the W in there.

Yeah. You going for an ice cold block of briars that's been sitting there for a couple of days? Oh, that's like fucking chipping through a glacier. You know, it was real trashy speaking of fucking silverware, the ones with the plastic handle. It was like metal, but it would have the. Oh, get the fuck out of here with screws on it or whatever.

You ate at somebody's house with that shit. You're getting milk for dinner for sure. Somebody's got those things are like blue. They were real thin. Yeah. I like nice cutlery. Yeah. Give me a fucking give me something I can.

That's something heavy duty. If a steak. Yeah, Mrs. Stewart. Why don't you fucking hit the China cabinet? All right. We got company here tonight. Yeah. They're like rusting out of the bolts.

It's all those things stink. Yeah. That's no good. If you got those fucking. Yeah. They're the they were the cheapest ones you could have bought. That's why you got them. If you had those, you didn't have the silverware separator inside your.

Oh, maybe you just had a drawer full of chaos. Oh my God. That's my nightmare. That's so good. You want to know how classy my mom is now. She's got two full ones. She got two full dividers like container like in two full sets. Really?

Yeah. I don't know what the fuck she's doing. He must be stealing them from the watering hole. All those dudes coming in and out. She got a lot of people to feed. You know what I mean? Yeah. There you go.

Shout out to the piece. She listens now. Really? Shout out to the piece. Does she? Yeah. All right. So you're really going to increase your chances with her.

Could we talk about that? What? About how you don't think that. Sure. Yeah. Sure. Of course. You know, in my slender days, if we if we ran into each other at a bar,

you don't think that I would be able to to coerce her into something romantic. No. No. Well, like we talked about you. This was like a four years ago. You you had you were probably you were probably because I'm older than Kevin. I'm 10 years older than you were probably my size. Now maybe a little bigger.

You're probably like you'd look okay ish. So I'm probably just 10 years younger than her roughly 10 or 15. No. You're probably 20 years younger. You think so? Yeah. She's in her mid sixties. She's still got to go up there.

That kid. All right. Um. Well, he's like, yeah, I think I could have got her out of a bar. Like I said, if she was if she was single, obviously, and she was at a bar with some of her girlfriends having like and I said, it would have to be like it would have to be like a Karabas or like, you know, like a P.F. Chang's by the mall where like there was a bar scene,

but then there was also dining and they were in there. I told you to go to Michael's on street road. We called it the wrinkle ranch. It's where all the fucking old broads would go hang out and you'd fucking you'd be like 22. Get all bombed up. A bunch of old birds drinking melon balls. Yeah.

Like get loose on Blue Hawaiians. Yeah. I could the wrinkle ranch. That's the best name. A lot of fucking Mercury's and old mobiles in that parking lot. I'll tell you that much. A couple of deweys in there. But yeah, you wouldn't have a chance.

I mean, you dress like an idiot. You don't have any money. You're not that fun to be around. Like, well, I don't think what like we would run a suit or something like that. Well, I don't understand what you think you're going to woo her with. You know what I mean? Like charm personality. A lighter cigarette.

Like a gentleman. Those broads like that. Fucking asking the bartender what the cheapest wine is. You got anything with a screw top back there? No way. No way. That's awesome. She listens though.

She doesn't. She doesn't. She doesn't care. See, I was kind of using this as like a forefront to play. I knew what you thought you were doing. I listen, buddy, I got a better chance of banging your dad than you have a fucking get him hopped up on some sideways. He don't know what's going on.

Who's that kippy? Take a run at him. This is all time garbage. And I have done it, you know, quite recently. Fire away. This is from Will Campbell hanging up clothes while you take a hot shower to steam them in a pinch. Dude, that is fucking trash. You know what else is real trash when you get hemmed up is you flick it with

some water, you know what I mean? You can't get it to what? Then you hit it with a hairdryer. It's like you're putting you're putting tin on a car window. I tell you what's nice though, when you fucking put a little spritz on, you have a spray bottle by the fucking dryer. We had this at our place when we lived in Philly when I slept next to the dryer. Yeah.

You know, I used to sometimes just turn the dryer on while I fell asleep. It was like white noise to me. I loved it. Put a pair of shoes in there. It sounds like your parents are fighting. You'll go right to bed. It says toads off to the easter sounds. Pair of shoes in a broken plate.

Sure, it's the way to dream with the smooth sound of domestic violence. You son of a bitch. You never loved me. That's too funny. That old pair of shoes. Yeah, for the less they're probably used to sleeping in my basement. First of all, we didn't live together. You slept in the basement.

It was nice down there. There was a big difference when I was finding a place together. It was nice down there. And you being in a bad situation and moving downstairs. They had that tile floor. It was cool in the summer. You could hang meat down there all year round. Dude, that place was fucking crisp.

It was cool in the summer. Told her that in a garage fridge. But now when you spray your clothes, you know, you have a little water bottle by the dryer. Spray your clothes, throw it in and fucking wrinkle them out. That's how you got to do that. That or an iron. But I mean, who the fuck's iron? Steaman's kind of trash too.

You know, I've hit the bricks with a steamer. You think? Yeah, I don't do it. I'm a big steam guy. I can't iron. I've tried a million times. I'm my mom, man. She's something else with that shit.

She'll do it in two seconds. I remember growing up, my buddy's mom had the one that you like closed down. What? It was like, I love Lucy. It was like, it was like commercial. She's like a big piston would go and shit. She had the rack that went around. Bunch of people sitting there with a ticket.

Why did it only go up a couple of feet? I never understood what he had mean. The closed rack. I always thought that'd be fun to hang on to and fucking whip around the back. That petrified me. Oh, I loved it. That was certain death. Sometimes they really opened it up when they knew it was in the back.

Something was zipping around there. I never understood the method of that, how they knew what it was, how they knew where it was coming. That whole thing was a fucking mystery to me. Pretty sure it's just a system of numbers. Probably one through a hundred. That's garbage. Yeah, that's a fucking trash move.

But sometimes you need, especially like hotels and shit. I guess most a lot of hotels might have irons and shit, but I mean, you know, using the earning board at a hotel is fucking you're breaking that. Do you use would you use the hair dryer at a hotel? I did fucking this weekend. That's my favorite. I fucking always break that out. Fucking do the balls, get everything nice and dry.

I like them too, because a lot of them they have like the zip in fucking cord because that cord's a real pain in the fucking asshole. I'm a big hotel guy. I fucking love it. I know. It was a nice hotel this weekend. Yeah. It's the way to do it for sure.

Another great question. Yeah, it was great. I love this. This is from David Scully. Have you ever brought a traffic cone home while walking from a night out? Dude, who didn't do that? Dude, that and stealing stop signs and shit like that. She got a minute works in your room.

Why was that so cool? That was so you ever smell them the way they smell on the inside like that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Cone smell traffic cone smell awesome. I remember one time, you know, like the big barrels, you brought one of them with the one with the flashing light. Well, I had I got my hands on the light for a buddy or something.

I don't know. I got my hands on like the big people that have connections in the traffic. Like he had stolen or something. I don't know. It ended up and they were like, oh, I had it. I ended up in my room. And I had forgotten about it or I don't know what. But that thing must have been on some sort of timer or something.

And I was home alone, dude. And that fucking thing starts flattening my whole upstairs is lighting up. Dude, it's like fucking. It's like contact with closing down. I don't know what's happening, dude. I thought we were coming to get me. You got a fucking Stoffers FB in your mouth. Oh, yeah.

I'm sitting there with a fucking belly full of fucking Snyder's pretzels and Slimfaster. Yeah. Being home alone when you were a kid, man. She was scary as fuck. Oh, man, especially. And I still get a little scared. I run up the stairs quick. No, I don't like it.

Yeah. I don't like it at all. Yeah. We used to steal that stuff all the time. That was like that was like the coolest. I'll tell you what we had in my fraternity house in college. We had a fucking actual traffic light in somebody's room. Oh, real garbage, dude.

Fuck you in the glory days. Yeah, man. You should have been gone. Sometimes you get out, turn it on, pull out the acoustic guitar and just fucking have us tonight. A couple of wine coolers, you and your good time buddies. Oh, that guy bringing up the guitar. Shut the fuck up.

No one ever did that, like have, you know. My fraternity was a little hippiest. Everyone's in a while. You have to deal with that. Slowly turn the stereo up. I see where you get your fashion sense. Yeah, that's fine. That's that's a that's a fucking great move, though.

You sit there for a couple of days. You look at it. You're like, yeah, cut my fucking cone. Yeah, man, for sure. It's like the ultimate rebellion. And Philly, people keep him in their car and fucking they'll pull up and take it out and like, you know, use it to like steal a parking space.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a pretty, pretty, pretty sweet move, too. No, what? No, it's tangent. Tangent. Tell me. I was saying, I was trying to park the other day and there was a guy being like, you can't park here

and you put a cone there. I'm like, dude, I will fucking hold you. See? Right now. Get out of here. He's like, I'm like, he's like, yeah, we're doing something. I'm like, not you got a sign. You got a permit?

Give me a permit number. Unless you've got a gun. Unless you're a cop, take a fucking hike. This is Manhattan. I'm fucking taking this parking spot. I'm not bypassing a parking spot. This one is a no for you. And I don't think so for me.

This is from Chris. Have you ever owned any clothes by South Pole? You probably don't even know what it is. Do you know what it is, Tob? Yeah, I had a fleece. I had a fleece. South Pole fleece. Really?

Yeah, I believe so. Oh, man, that's like the ultimate trash. Yeah, definitely got a South Pole fleece. That was for white dudes who wanted to be black and shop the K-Mart. It had two cigarette burns right here. Yeah, because they came with them, probably. No, the fleece.

Fleece is like plastic, pretty much. Yeah, it melts like plastic. Yeah, so I had those two little burns in there when I dropped a little cherry on myself. It's all the Looney Tunes shirts from the 90s. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's real trash. It's real fucking trash.

I, the big one, all my friends had like, you know, fucking baby blue velour South Pole suits and stuff. And like, Outcast had a clothing brand at one point that they used to, my buddies used to dress like fucking, you know. In sync? But like, trying to be tough. Yeah?

Yeah. I never got into the full sweatsuits and all that shit. Sean John and all that stuff. Yeah, a lot of Sean John. A lot of fucking Echo. Oh, my God, you had to, Echo came with a fucking an arrest record. I have a pair of Echo sneakers right now.

I think it's the same. ECCO? No. Those are orthopedics for you. My kangaroo sneaks. Little pouch on the side. Yeah, no South Pole, man, but that shit is fucking cherry.

JC, panties, panties. Panties is trashy. Panties is the track. No, I would disagree with that. If you're looking for quality. It's lower in discount. It's lower in school clothes for the kids. You go to JC.

It's lower in my mom. Not Bradley's. No, you know what the worst is though? My fucking stepdad loves. What worse? Boscovs. Oh, dude. Shout out to Boscovs.

Boscovs state. Now, Boscovs and when I grew up in Wilkesbury, Boscovs used to throw the big Halloween operation. Sounds like a boom in town. You know how Macy's puts on the Thanksgiving Day parade? Boscovs would fucking drop the coin and fucking straighten everybody out for Halloween. He'd show up to Boscovs and they'd get some,

it'd get some bird up there dressed up in a witch's costume and put one on the other side. And then they would send a dummy across so it would look like a witch streaked across the street. I've seen that old gag before. Man, that scared the fuck out of me. He's a little fat kid. Brutal.

Yeah, no, that's Boscovs' trash. Yeah, you think so? I enjoy it. I think they make a quality product. All right, what are you taking Boscovs money? Are you writing your fucking beat? Write that check out to Paddy Folding. All right, this one, you know.

All right, this is from Ryan Portenga. Ryan Portenga. Thank you, Ryan. Yeah, what are the oldest acceptable ages for a male to ride the following types of bikes? Okay, I love this. This is fantastic. BMX, a 10-speed, a mountain bike.

Also, do you agree that it now seems as though if you're not wearing a full Spandex cyclist outfit while riding a bicycle, you automatically appear to have your driver's license revoked and or a recent parolee. Shout out to Ryan Portenga. Especially on like a two-lane highway where there's no like, you're like almost in the drainage ditch. Yeah, fucking riding over broken glass and shit.

You got a plastic bag full of belongings on the handlebars. I think about this a lot because as you know, I hate fucking cyclists, especially living in New York City. I think they're fucking super entitled. They're super dangerous. They cause a lot of fucking problems. I'm sure that's because of my fucking, you know, my obesity and all that kind of stuff.

Here's the deal. What? Because I'm heavy and I wouldn't ride a bike. All right. Okay. Okay, so if you if you live in the suburbs, all right, you can ride your mountain bike on fucking mountain bike trails no matter, no matter how old you are.

Okay. If you want to be one of those fucking douchebags in the suburbs that dress up like fucking Lance Armstrong on a Sunday and ride fucking three is around, you know, doing this thing and fucking that thing and all that kind of stuff. Dude, I see guys wearing those that cyclist stuff. I'm like, you, you have to be a fucking dork. It can't help that much.

Oh, yeah. What? Because I went riding. We were, we rented city bikes. The fucking tour day Delaware. Give me a fucking rest, man. We rented city bike tour day, Bayone. City bikes suck too.

I hate this. We rented city bikes and drove down from all the way up town, all the way downtown. To where? Soho. Did you go drive back up? We took a Uber back. Nice.

Yeah. Fuck that. Downhill is okay. It's not downhill. Those city bikes are not easy to ride. Yeah, whatever. But I'm that's what that's what I'm getting at. I'm doing it.

I'm doing it in jeans and a hoodie on a city bike and I'm keeping up with the guy in the spandex. So I'm like, what is, the spandex can't be helping you that much. I'm doing the same job in jeans and fucking nikes. You're looking like a fucking idiot. Yeah. That's like the only thing where you really

got to go full in to look. But if you see a guy like what he's saying. I always got that tiny little pee piece too. I know. It's like, dude, fucking stuff that thing. I mean. You wouldn't catch me when I was up there. That's I had a couple and put a solo in there.

Let him know who's boss. Put a roll of quarters down there. You see a guy riding a mountain bike. Dressed like in street clothes. He, yeah, he's going to work. He's, he's, he's going to work somewhere. He's wherever he's going. He's late.

Yeah. Yeah. He's late and he ain't happy. He's got to see, he's got someone breathing. He's got a wife or somebody breathing down his neck. Yeah. His customer service skills are not good. No.

Now you see a dude, a grown man on a fucking BMX bike, especially if you see somebody in urban areas, don't fuck with that guy because that guy, you're down and out. If you're on a BMX, that guy doesn't give a shit. Yeah. You see a fucking grown man on a BMX bike, not at like a fucking skate park or something like that.

Steer clear. Because that guy, that dude is born South Pole before. Yeah. And he's in and out of fucking. He's in and out of the joint. Yeah. Yeah. Steer clear of that.

100%. Yeah. Fantastic question. Yeah, I do. Yeah. Good. Thanks, buddy. This is from Mike Smith.

Sounds like a fucking fake name, but I'll believe it. I like your style, Mr. Smith. Have you ever. Nice. This is from John Johnson. My real name is Larry Johnson. Have you ever gone into a store bar restaurant to blow up the bathroom with zero intention of buying anything?

What? Yeah. Are you kidding me? Absolute fucking loop. Yeah. I fake. You got to be on the phone type thing. Oh, yeah.

You got to act like you've been there. Yeah. You got to do a spin move on the fucking hostess. Yeah. Because sometimes they're dicks. Sometimes it just goes, you got to bathroom. Like, what are we doing here? We're all human.

Yeah. It's either you fucking let me take a piss or shit. Yeah. When I was in charge of shit like that, I never, I would never fucking say a normal person. If it's a fucking homeless guy that's fucking stinks, you know, he's going to go in there and shit on the walls or something like that.

You tell him to fucking keep it moving. Kick rocks in there, bozo. Yeah. But if it's just a person, how can you say for customers only? Like, what? I mean, it's the hacky bit too, but 7-Eleven. It's like, well, where are you paying?

You know what I mean? 7-Eleven, don't let you pee. Oh, you got to get in with your guy. I have ins with my bodega guys. Can you use the bathroom at a bodega? Yeah. What? But if it's in your neighborhood, why do you need it?

Might be for nefarious purposes. I don't think that's really to be discussed publicly. Jesus Christ. But I'm just saying, I can get into my bathroom at 7-Eleven. And a gas station bathroom. Yeah, a gas. Anybody can get into a fucking gas station bathroom. You know, some of the conven-

You're going to the bathroom at 7-Eleven? How many taquitos do you have to buy before they lay in? You got to use the taquitos to get in. Hey, Paulie, it's your 10,000 taquitos this year. All right, give them the key. No key. Walk right in. Right?

But you got to go behind the, you know, where they have this fucking soda snack. Do you work at 7-Eleven? Is this your way of telling me this? No. Are you on a first name basis with your buddy? Yeah. What?

What am I, a fucking asshole? Of course. Talk to Raj all the time. Hang out, fucking shoot the shit out of it. You're in there smoking cigs, patting a cat. Yeah. Um, all right. Wait, so to answer that question, yes, 100%.

100%. Yeah, of course. You know where the best place to go, let me give you guys a little tip, especially if you're in a city, go to a hotel and use the fucking lobby bathroom. And they don't know what's going on. They don't know who you are.

If it's a tighter ship, they're keen to it. But a lot of times you can, you can get in. How would they know? This is ridiculous. I'm in fucking room 1088. Let me see your key. My wife has it. Dumbledore.

She's shopping right now. Yeah. But hotels are fucking nice. Sometimes they put them on the second floor to fucking try to keep the riffraff out. Yeah. But you walk up the stairs, never go to the elevator. That's where they fucking get you.

Yeah. Hemmed up. This is from Chris. Growing up, did your family have multiple remote controls? TV, DVD player, VHS player, sound system, and extra points if the ceiling fan has a remote? Oh, got a remote fucking ceiling fan right now. Fucking boop.

Yeah, they, my parents right now have four remotes. They have the ceiling fan. They have the remote for the TV. The vibrator. Gas powered. The remote for the TV, the cable remote, which does everything, but they don't know. Yeah.

And then remember, you remember universal remotes were big. You had to get someone to program them. You're like, what the fuck? Oh, yeah. Program. Had someone come NASA to come on. I'm like, nah, dude. Six, six, nine, shut the fuck up.

But then my dad has a remote for his chair, which he always thinks is a remote for the TV and he's sitting there fucking pressing it. I mean, while he's folding up. Daddy! He's trying to put the fucking news on. Tied up in a pretzel. Ah, I love him.

But yeah, it's weird that he doesn't realize it because the chair remote has a has a cord to it. And he's just sitting there just fucking pressing it. Yeah. Kids out to lunch. Yeah, we had, you know, what was big was really telling to having like, we had it for a couple of years, the TV remote, because you don't really use the TV remote

much. No, it was the cable. Power off. Power off. All the time. All on. Yeah. But you have to save on batteries.

You have the TV remotes floating around, you know, it's on and whatever. But the dog chewed the fucking we had like dog bite, like teeth dog teeth marks in it because they got a fucking hold of it. Sure was a you. Somebody was sitting in his chair. He got mad.

Really? So we had like, yeah, we had like, it was like gnawed by the dog a little bit. That's garbage. Yeah. People come over like, I don't worry about that one, you know. That's garbage. And also also not having a back on the batteries.

It's real or taped or having a taped on. We were a big back tape. Really? Oh, yeah. My mom didn't know what was going on. She was trying to dump her all, but she had to work. Meanwhile, you know what I mean? When you got scotch tape on there,

you need to get new parents because that's trash. We were big scotch. Really? Yeah, dude, we were fucking trash. I don't know what to tell you. God. What are you going to do? It's a 90.

You can go out and buy a new universal remote. You go black electrical tape. Well, what am I in the union? What are you talking about? No, it's scotch tape. It's on the desk. Did you have any? It was double-sided.

So there's like dog hair stuck to it. That's trash. Did you have any utensils that were like fire damage or anything like that? Like a meltdown thing? Oh, spatula's death. The spatula handle, definitely. My mom still has it.

First of all, the spatula is 35 years old and it fucking flips it mean dimming. Is it plastic? Yeah. Slides right in there. It's supposed to use metal on metal, they say. I know. This was like a cut coat from like fucking 1972

when they were making them heavy. You got a hot dishwasher. You could destroy those things. Oh, yeah. Well, like the handles all burnt from like laying on the pan or like the dishwasher or whatever. Exactly. We got a couple of them floating around.

Yeah. Fucking battle scarred. They're like fucking veterans. Take them down to the VA. Fucking crazy. That's trashy, too. You know what? I did it by step.

I was home over the summer hanging out to live in my parents' house while they were down the shore, real garbage. But we were grilling. We were making some steaks. And my stepdad has like the tong that you put in and it tells you. Love them. It tells you the temperature.

What? It's like a double-forked sharper image. You guys got a little. Where can I get something like that? You guys got a couple of bucks on them. Sharper image. He's got a fucking steak thermometer. Yeah, but it tells you like for beef, good, chicken, good.

Like you put it in and it tells you what it is. That's fucking crazy. And I left it out in the rain overnight and like the fucking screen got all fogged up and there was water behind it. And I just threw it in the drawer and fucking hit the brick. I wonder this guy fucking hates your guts. Fucking nah.

He's a good shit. Thorn in his side. I told him, I'm like, yeah, man, we, you know, I left, we got rained on. I left, I ordered one on Amazon. I hadn't ordered it yet. And I'm like, I ordered on Amazon. I should be here in a couple of days

and he goes, I don't even use that thing. I'm like, oh, great. I'll cancel it then. Kippy save 60. Dumbass. Kippy save 60. I just bought a pair of actual metal tongs. Oh, we're big.

Yeah, we go to the world. Dude, I feel like fucking Anthony Bourdain in there now. Fucking what's the place sir? Law table table. Law sir. What? I don't know. Yeah.

It's like this fancy fucking high end kitchen. Oh, like Williams and Simone Simone. Yeah, but better than that table. The sir or certainly table when I walk in. So we're big into that. We got the time. We got the long johns. We got the short ones.

We're fucking we're big. I'm a big, a nice appliance in the kitchen guy. That's a game changer to us because I usually use I have to use a fork to flip bacon or something. Fucking burning your fingers. We're we're exclusively. Okay. And I'm making this announcement now here on the podcast.

We are exclusively baking in the microwave from here to for. Oh my god. That's it. It cooks it perfectly. No, you're trying. Dude, it's six minutes. It's crispy. It's perfect.

Plus there's no, you know, there's no mess because I'm sick of because six minutes. Well, we moved out of the old. It's a laziness thing. No, it's not better. It's better on the pan. That's what it's not. No, it's not. It is lazy.

You just said it's a no mess and it's still six minutes. Bacon cooks in fucking eight minutes on the pan. So you're saving you're saving 120 seconds now when you cook it frozen. You're cooking frozen bacon. Yeah, I'm cooking frozen bacon. Listen to me. Dude, you're putting frozen bacon. I'm joking.

No, you're not. I am joking. You're an animal comedy podcast. I eat it frozen. Like a popsicle. Yeah, put in a blender for all that up a little bit. I do have frozen bacon because my mom, like I told you, we talk moms always have frozen bacon. My mom has shit like fucking pre pre war.

Dude, I we have a fucking bag of raviolis in my fridge that I don't even there's no way. There's no way we do. We got to think of stuff shells. It's I mean, dude, they're freezer burnt. I mean, that's like ice age. Oh, it's like the fucking tundra in there, dude. That's fucking trash. Oh, man, we got nothing better than we moved them.

Like I could have thrown them out from the from the one apartment or the other. And we're just still in there, man. Fucking God. Listen, New York City apartment, you do too much shit on the stovetop. That's that grease gets everywhere. You don't even realize it. Like we moved out of the other. What do you think you're going to turn me to, you know, just letting you know from here on out.

Okay. It's a new day. I want to let everybody know my bacon is now cooked in the microwave on a plate. Okay. Paper plate. What am I fucking dirt ball? No, put it. This is what we do.

Should be a paper plate to absorb the fucking grease. Yeah. No, I don't want that. She fucking take you take it out. Don't try to fucking act like you're doing your microwave and your bacon class. Listen, I am you know, I would never use it. I would never use a paper plate. Probably styrofoam, Melvin.

Allow me to retort. We cut the bacon in half. We put it on a plate. We put. Oh, you cut it in half. There you go. Toby cuts it in half bite size pieces. Oh my God.

It's like fun size bacon. Then we have a nice cover. Okay. That we put it put over it. Oh, that's my mom uses the dude a microwave cover. You ever check the inside of one of those things? Yeah, it looks like the upside down. Fucking good.

Man, you got to clean that thing. Those things get fucking nice. Those things are so gross. I won't even my mom. Really? Oh, no. It's helps the cooking of the microwaving. I'm not my one.

I don't have. We don't have a microwave. Really? Yeah. The fucking Europeans don't like them. Maybe things will turn around for you. Come by. You can take a look at mine.

Come over. Yes. Yeah. For a test drive. In there cooking steak. I wouldn't want one either. I didn't really want one either. I want a toaster.

We don't have a toaster. Get a toaster oven. That's trash. You know, I think that's trash. But we're doing our toast in the oven, like fucking assholes. And it never burns. Oh, my god. Dude, that's like brackets.

That is. It never browns it. It just dries it out. Oh, yeah. Dude, that's fucking. You're like, you're fucking reaching your hand in there. You're burning your finger trying to flip it. Oh, it sucks.

Oh, dude, listen. If you are toasting your bread in an oven, in a full-size oven. Yeah. You need, I'll send me a Venmo request. And I'll give you the 19 bucks for a fucking toaster. That's crackhead level shit. Given I have done it hundreds and hundreds of times. I understand.

I would have to do it now. But it's, I mean, it's that's the fucking next level trash. Yeah. Well, I'm doing it. I want a nice toaster. I love toast. Big toast guy. Okay.

I'm trying to get off the bread, you know. This is from Robert Parris. Is it garbage to leave clothes in the dryer overnight? What? That's the, that's the fucking closet as far as I'm concerned. Yeah. That and the bed. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, it's tough because, you know, we, you got to fluff it up the next, you got to realize that you got to fluff it up the next morning. You got to put a little water in there, fluff it back up. Shit's going to be wrinkled. You wet it. So the thing is you wet a sock, throw that in there. That does it.

You take your sock out, you fucking run it under the utility sink, throw it back in there, put it on fucking permanent press, wrinkle release for 20 minutes. Good. It's looking like the first day of school, daddy. Clean as a whistle. Fresh off the lot. One kind of wet sock though.

We usually, we usually use a washcloth. Yeah. But we did. I don't have a fucking washer and dryer now. Yeah. Now we don't, but like when I was all through quarantine, I was obviously down at, down at the shore house, dude. You people in the burbs, it's fucking.

I would live out of the, live out of the dryer. Oh. It wouldn't even. Yeah. Sometimes there would be like a little bit less. I would just throw it back in the washer with everything else, run it again. Run it back.

Absolutely. Not folding just two t-shirts and a thing of underwear. What is garbage is leaving the clothes in the washing machine overnight. Because that's. Back at the next moldy. Smells like a swamp. You got to run it again. Yeah.

And you can't escape it. No. It's in the fibers on it. Smelling like a fucking bar rack. Yeah. Bloody Mary mix on it. Yeah. You got to redo that shit.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you can't leave shit in the washing machine overnight. That shit wouldn't fly in fucking the Foley house. So my mom wouldn't lose it. Uh, yeah. All right, let's do one more and then wrap it up. Awesome. We're over an hour, right, Tom?

Yeah. Okay, cool. This is awesome. We'd love this. I fucking love these. I fucking love these. It's just us, just the fam sitting here yapping. It's nice.

Yeah. All right. This is one, you know, wait, no, we already did one from him. I'm sorry. Some people are posted multiple fucking multiple questions. Let's see here. Let's have a good one.

This would be for you of sleeping with your contacts. And you've done that. I don't have contacts, but you do that, right? That's from Justin. The P D. Pietro. My eyes have gotten worse over. I've been sleeping in my contacts since I was fucking in high school.

Like literally probably taking them out three times. Never caught up to me. Never. I got they got it rolling your eyes. Everybody would say that to me. Shout out. But you're talking about fucking give a shit. I would scratch my cornea every once in a while, which kills.

It's the most searing intense pain ever. Yeah, I don't have any experience with it. But never caught up to me. But now when I went last year, it's why I fucking have to use the readers because my contacts, my prescription got so much stronger because, you know, my eyes have been depleted of so much oxygen that got my eyes got worse. Crying out here and that.

So I can't do it now. But yeah, for a long time, I lived on the fucking. I was out there, baby. I live on the fucking edge. Yeah. Yeah. Where's that? Where's the needle now?

A little broke off. Great question. All right. This is this is a fucking big one. And this is from big Texas Jensen. I think it's far away. I think I think we know him. Have you ever or do you currently display?

Oh, man. Do you currently display an empty liquor bottle as a decoration? I got to tell you, I got an empty thing whiskey on top of my fridge right now. We got to get one for here now. Yeah, I'll bring it in. Yeah. Bring it in. Bring it in.

And eventually we're going to want you guys. Yeah. We're going to set up a PO box so you guys can send stuff that, you know. Yeah. We want your guys stuff here too. Anything you have that would that would that would add to the decor of Aunt Toody's studio. But that's an all time trash move. I also had a lamp, a kettle one lamp.

It was a bottle that they put like a wire. They get all dusty and shit like that. It's so fucking garbage. Yeah. Like a wall of fucking Bud Light cans or something. I've done that too. Oh, my cousins used to collect beer cans. They had a solid collection of beer cans.

Empty or full? Full. It's not going to be worth anything. It was empty. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you dealt in fucking old single beers. What do you mean? It's not going to be worth.

That's tragic. That's trash mentality. I used to collect. What could it can a beer be worth? It's not worth. It's a collection. It's you enjoy it. Well, you said it's not worth anything.

You know. See, they're here and over there. OK. Well, we used to, I used to collect like. Buggers. Collect them. He's to eat them. I used to collect.

How do you when like like when Penn State won the national championship? Like a commemorative commemorative mug or something. No, commemorative bottle of Pepsi. Yeah. I had a fucking Pepsi from 1988 in a glass bottle that had like their record saving it for saving it for a fucking celebration.

My cousin gave it to me. Just we put it. We put it. You know, it would be like on display. Oh, my God. Those were trash. You're a hillbilly. I don't know if you remember this.

This is real garbage. At like state fairs and like carnivals and stuff like that. Big state fair guy. They could, I don't know what the booth was, but they could take like a glass bottle of Pepsi. They could like heat it up and stretch it out. And then the sand art. And twist it and put the sand art.

Buddy, I had a sand art kit. I did it myself. How do you stretch the bottle out? You buy the bottles like that. I think they might have. I mean, we would buy them twisted like that. No, they would. This is old world style.

They would do it for you right there. Like making the Caesar salad at the table. Man, somebody would come home at one of them. You'd be staring at it like it was the fucking Taj Mahal. We are a big sand art family. I could probably go back to my mom's house. We still have them. They're in the attic.

Those are keepers. Don't throw that out. Where's my sand art? Somebody tries to put that on the table for the yard sale. That, you know what else was real big on Wildwood's boardwalk back in the day? Getting the candle made out of your wax hand. Oh, god.

That's garbage. Yeah. I had a middle finger. I was like, seven. I'm like, yeah, can I do it? My dad's like, yeah, whatever. I did my middle finger. And then they made the candle, the wick of the candle,

like the tip of my middle finger. Big fuck you to everybody. I thought I was the coolest fucking kid. Yeah. Head over to the dunk tank and call it fat by that clown. Call it a fucking night. Maybe a ride on the go-karts. Start crying at Ronald.

That guy called me a fat piece of shit. And he always said, because my brother, especially when he was a kid, had big ears. And he goes, you look like a Cadillac going down the street with the doors open. Is he killing? Oh, dude. And fly me to the mood.

Dude, he was fucking murdering. He'd murder in front of like 400 people. Call it a kid of fat piece of shit. Oh, man. Hey, tubby. Oh, dude. I'd get all fucking heat. I'd lose it.

I'd be winging the fucking balls out of him and shit. Fucking emotionally missing and stuff like that, because you're doing that. Oh, yeah. He's got you fucking. He's got you shook. Could you imagine that today calling a kid fat? Oh, dude.

He went after any race, ethnicity, any physical deformity. Dude, he, this clown was nuts. And he smoked fucking cigs and drank fucking from a flask. And every time you'd get him, he'd come back up high dry. Now they have the fucking paintball where you can, we can shoot. They have an Akoni Allen boardwalk. Where he's like, he's like 30 yards back

and he pops back out fucking. And you try to hit him. The one on, the one on, I'm not even fucking around. The one on plywood's boardwalk after 9 11 was shoot Osama. They had a guy in all pads doing this. And you, I mean, a fucking line around the block of knuckleheads thinking they're fucking patriots.

You guys fucking patent baseball bats and shit like that. That's fucking trash. Oh man. Yeah. That's it. Gang, what a great episode. This was so much fun. Thank you so much for tuning in to RU Garbage.

We appreciate everybody. Please sign up at patreon.com to get your questions on the air. We're going to be doing these on a regular basis. We have some bonus contents coming out. We appreciate you guys being patient with us as far as that. While we get the studio bill. While we get the studio bill, we thought we'd have a little more time for the studio, but you know, the timeline was a little compressed.

Tobin McMullen, thank you for all your hard work. You're absolutely fantastic. T-Bone. We love you guys and we will, we'll see you next week. Can't be anything else for him. As always, just make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube, subscribe there as well. Those numbers are through the fucking roof.

We appreciate all the fucking support. It's been amazing. Love you gang. We'll see you next week. Peace.