Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Feitelberg: Barstool Garbage

Episode Date: August 6, 2020

This week the Kippy and Foley welcome John Feitelberg for a hot ep of AYG. John talks drinking too much, peeing the bed, and Fast and the Furious. You know Feitelberg from Barstool Sports and KFC Radio podcast. Support our Sponsors: https:/www.sheathunderwear.com and use the code: Garbage https://reelpaper.com and use the code : Garbage Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Hey gang, it's your old pals, Uncle Hank and Kippy. Just wanna thank you for tuning in to R U Garbage. Yeah guys, make sure you subscribe. That way you get the episode as they come out and you can also go to gasdigitalnetwork.com, use promo code AYG to get bonus content and get the episodes before they come out and HD streaming. Do it.

Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of R U Garbage. The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Oh baby. Hey everybody out there and welcome back

to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is R U Garbage, the show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and find out if they grew up classy or if they're absolute trash. I'm your host H Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day here, Gash Digital Studios in the big studio in the East Village. The tornado came through.

We're still fucking standing. This goddamn universe can't take us out no matter what they throw at us. Coming at you from right next to me, my good pal. All right, he's the guy who fucking cooks the books in this operation. He crosses the T's, he dots the I's. He's an idea man, ladies and gentlemen.

And let me tell you something folks, the next time you reach it for a best pal, you know the drill, you make it a fucking kippy, all right? Two six packs for the fucking price of one. Give it up for Kevin James Ryan everybody. Hey gang, what's up? That intro keeps coming back like fucking herpes, man. Jesus Christ.

The kids love it. The kid, the internet is chattering about grabbing themselves a kippy. Happy to be here everybody. Some quick fucking business before we get started. Please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Yes sir. Full video available on YouTube.

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Save a buck 50. Save, I think it's two, I don't even know. Two 50. I don't know and I'm not a numbers guy. Pull it back, we gotta make some money here. We got to wet our beak a little bit, you know what I mean? That's what we're talking about and the people we have on Gastagelnetwork,

we have fucking Mark Norman, Joe List, Paul Verzi, Bobby Kelly, Andrew Schultz, Shane Gillis, fucking Matt McCusker. We got the fucking Murders Row, so go check it out. Sign up for a month and then fucking cancel it. I don't care. That's it. That's all you got?

All I got, I just fucking give a four minute sales pitch for a comedy podcast. Plug the website will you, here we go. Gang, we could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest here with us today. He is the co-host of KFC radio on fucking bar, stool, sports. Ever heard of it?

The number four guy on the fucking website when you're scrolling down. All right, he's a young, good looking kid. He's got a little five o'clock shadow going. I think that's his office. Word on the street. He's got a pretty decent piece. Ladies and gentlemen, give us a nice big round of applause

for Mr. John Feidlberg, everybody. This is not my office. This is my roommate, Feidlberg, to be honest with you. He was laying on the rent. I am currently in a bus station right now. John, how you doing, buddy? Good to see you, man. I'm so incredibly nervous for this.

Why? I can't even tell you. I just showered. I just showered before doing this because I really don't even know who you are. You could have took the towel off the door, goddammit. Look at that. Clean that fucking place up, will you?

Jesus, if your parents came, they'd have a heart attack. Look at that. That is a fucking single guy's bedroom right there. What is that right behind you over your right shoulder? Is that some kind of tin-actin? No, the other way. Yeah, your other right. On the shelf, there's a bottle that looks like whipped cream.

Was somebody doing whippets? Is that fucking tough actin, tin-actin? Dry shampoo. Not mine. Again, not my room. Dry shampoo. Dude, with dry shampoo? That's fun.

Dry shampoo and more dry shampoo. A lot of dry shampoo. Guys, you guys aren't a shower household over there. I like it. Your roommate's into the self-care. I like it. That's a fucking point in your direction. So, John, take us back.

I want to hear the origin story, where you grew up, how you grew up, brothers, sisters, the whole nine yards. Lay it on us, brother. Oh, boy. OK, I grew up on a follower of Massachusetts. It is most famous for probably Lizzie Borden, who she murdered her father. Lizzie Borden took an axe, gave her father 40 racks.

When she saw what she had done, she gave her mother 41. I believe is how the phrase goes. What is that? A nursery rhyme that you had when you were a kid? That's fucking crazy. Yeah. Keep the kids at Fall River in line. I'll tell you that.

Holy shit. And then I guess my second would be Chris Herron, who had a little relationship with heroin in the NBA. Hell of a guy. Great, great guy. But yeah, and I have one brother, two sisters. Had to think about that. One brother, two sisters.

Typical suburban childhood growing up. What's Fall River like? Fall River, again, it's not great. It's a former mill farm. It was in probably in the, I don't know what year, to be honest. But it was a big town for a while. And then mills, business, we shipped them all over China.

And so now it's pretty decrepit, pretty awful. But actually, you know what? Just recently, our mayor was kicked out of office because he was stealing tons of money. He was a huge embezzlement, big documentary coming out about that too. Yeah, that's not a great spot. That's good points as far as I'm concerned.

I love a little embezzlement. I love how the mayor was like, this town sucks. I'm taking whatever else it's got. If you don't get in the local government to start embezzlement. How much? I don't know exactly how old he is, but he's younger than me. He's like very, very young.

He was like thought of as like this wonder kid. And he turns out he was just stealing everything. Dude, that's fucking fantastic. That's fucking awesome. How else, dude, if you became mayor in your 20s, I would have burnt the place to the fucking ground. You're lucky all he did was steal. It's like real life fucking ice town from Parks and Rec.

Yeah. It's exactly what happened. He just embezzled tons of fucking money. It was like, it was with him. He was doing it all with like the weed companies too, because it was like, oh, you want a license? Guess what, give me 50 grand. He had, oh God, this guy's the best.

Who had the fucking walls for that? Dude, he woke up in the morning. He was just like, what crimes am I doing today? He has a mayor of a lower tier city in Massachusetts and drove like a Mercedes S-Class, had like a fucking Batman Rolex, which like, that's big money. And if you are, if you are making a custom Rolex with a Batman logo on it, you're too young to be mayor.

Yes, yeah. You're too young to have a Rolex, I'll tell you that much. You shouldn't have a cartoon Rolex. Yeah, that's pretty fucking lame. You show up with the fucking Mickey Mouse Rolex. What a perfect 20 something year old thing to do. It's like, ah, fuck it, I'll get the Corvette. I'll get the Rolex.

I mean, when you think about it, though, I know like when I was in my early 20s, that's when I was getting like my first credit cards and I was totally fiscally irresponsible. Still paying those things off. So that's just like on a larger scale. Instead of just fucking blowing through his fucking mom's Capital One card,

he blew through the fucking city budget for a couple of years. I'll tell you what, congratulations to you for getting a credit card in your early 20s. I like got one last year for the first time, I'm 31. Really? Dude, I took me a while to crawl out of it now. The funniest thing about me is I currently have

a $500 credit limit. That's all they'll give me. Doesn't matter how much I pay, when I pay, I go on the app like every couple of weeks and just try to apply for more credit. And they're like, nah, unfortunately at this time, you are still a fucking huge loser. Because I had a couple of credit cards

when I was in college and just zero concept of ever even remotely paying it back. Dude, you know what happened to me, which fucked me? My parents got me one of those like emergency credit cards. Oh yeah. And I used it not as emergencies ever. And then my mom was like, oh yeah, well, we're not paying that. So I had like thousands of dollars of debt.

That's fucking brutal. Mom playing hard. Dude, you buy a case of beer with one of those credit cards, you end up paying, after you pay it off, it costs you like $4,000 for a case of beer after all the interest and penalties and shit. I used to work at Macy's when I was in college. And in order to get the store discount, the 20% discount,

you had to put it on a Macy's credit card. So I was in college with a credit card. I wouldn't even do laundry. I would just go buy new socks and underwear to wear out that night. You know what I mean? Like a fucking jerk off. I just settled settled up with them a couple of months ago.

I saw that clip of you on Twitter when you were talking about when you were running the gamut there, letting everyone return whatever. I just used to let everybody steal shit, yeah. I worked at GNC in college, and I would have friends coming and buy stuff just so they could come back and return it so I could get it for free.

That's real dirt ball shit. Dude, there's not many people that we talked to on here that didn't have some kind of scam or a hustle with either their high school or their college job. Yeah, dude, for sure. All right, this guy was moving fucking Nikes out of the back. You're fucking selling stacker twos on fucking cost. We used to, I used to work at a Hescast station.

With Reagan. We had some, we had. Hescast station, that's not even at top of the line. Fucking petroleum company, you jerk off. We got the trucks, that's pretty good. Christmas time, they're all lining up. Give me a Sonoco and Exxon. Nah, that's fucking Euro trash, you don't want that.

But we used to do this thing with the premium gas, you have a coupon. I mean, that's all it was. It was like we were fucking in Goodfellas in fucking college and high school. Dude, we had, my buddy worked at a foot locker in the mall and he would run a two for 70 deal where you would give him $70 cash

and he would just pocket the fucking money. And you could get any two pair of shoes, you just couldn't get Tim's or Jordan's because they had their own inventory system. Like those were like extra, those had like a secondary checks and balances system. So dude, we would just go in and he would make like fucking, you know,

like three grand in a night. That is, that's the best one I've heard. Yeah, that was good. That's the best one I could ever get. Oh, they all went down. Like a lot of people left there with fucking criminal fucking backgrounds. That's too funny.

All right, so you worked at G and C. That gives us a little bit of a picture. We get a little picture of the town. So what's gonna happen now, John, is Kevin and I are gonna ask you a series of questions regarding your childhood, how you live now. We'd like you to answer them open and honestly. And if they spur any stories, please feel free.

I'd like to believe that from the gas station scam and the fucking pump and dunk at Macy's, you realize that you're talking to two dirtbags and that you are in good company. Yes, I absolutely. I do. I saw that. Do not worry.

You are under oath. I may remind you, Mr. Fidelberg. You don't plan on running for Senate or anything like that. Do you? No, that one went out the window a long time ago. Nice. I didn't make it past 10.

I was no way I was running for Senate. Who was the guy that just got the Supreme court that they were, when they were grilling? Whenever he was having all. Yeah. He's like, we like beer. We drank beer. I didn't have a couple of beers.

I had some beers. All right, here we go. Let's start out with something simple. Now, there's a couple of different kinds of garbage, OK? We're more of a lighthearted garbage. And we don't believe that garbage has to do with whether you grew up poor, you grew up rich. None of that has really to do with it.

It's just like the inherent things that are in you from your upbringing and your family. But I guess number one would be, what was the name of the street that you grew up on? I got a good one. Highland Avenue. The avenues are pretty tough in the suburbs. That's classy.

I like that. I grew up on a Highland Drive for a little while. Let's drive. Yeah, we've got like entities. It's actually the, honestly, I don't think I'm garbage. I'm going to put that out there real quick. OK. I don't think I am.

I hope I'm not. But it is like the one street in the entire town that's kind of nice. It's like it is the top of the heap, I suppose. OK. This is what you would call it. All right. That's where like the foreman from the mills would live.

Back in the day. Right, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, the guy who has had like child labor, they live in this. I work my way up, huh? Now I'm cracking head, see? All right. Let's do a standard here.

This is a big one on RU Garbage. Single family home, I presume. Single family home, yes. OK, do you have a garage? Oh, yeah. Did you have, was there a refrigerator in that garage? Mini fridge upstairs. So it's a two car garage.

And then upstairs is kind of like a living room, man cave situation. OK. And there's a mini fridge in there. Wow. Was it a detached garage or part of the structure? Detached. Ooh.

Detached is some clean fucking living. Why didn't you make that your room? I would have pushed to have that as my room. High school. No, because it was like, it's where it was basically the hookup spot. So you couldn't make it your room. It was like, that's where I hooked up.

It's where my brother hooked up. That's where anyone, I imagine probably my sisters too. I don't know. I've never spoken to them about it. But this garage, OK, here's a story for it. This garage, here we go, here we go. What I would do after I hooked up in the garage is like an adult, I would like take my condom,

I'd put it in a Gatorade bottle, and I'd twist it off. And then I'd throw it away. It's cool when I take it. Oh, that's fucking. That's an A plus move right there. Why? Who's your mind? Fucking lawn order SVU?

Was she looking through the trash? I better not find any fucking rubbers up there, John. My Johnny's a good boy. But God, does he drink a lot of Gatorade? I'll tell you that. Most hydrated kid in school. But my brother, he would open the window. And he would just throw his condom out of it.

And so one day, one day, my dad was shoveling the front yard or shoveling the sidewalk up front. And the neighbor comes over. And he's like, John, I got to talk to you. My dad's like, what's up? He's like, you got to tell your kids to stop throwing condoms in my yard. And he goes, come with me.

And he just had a fucking rubber thing on his windshield. Dude, the fucking, listen, I'm a scumbag. I pick my butt, pick my nose, pick my teeth. The fucking used prophylactic is the fucking most disgusting thing in the world. Dude, a rubber out the window is something else. That is a next level fucking garbage move. And I thought, oh, he was taking a crow hop to throw it.

Like, I don't understand what kind of load he was doing. But like, it's a good throw. It's already getting thrown out there. I thought you were going to say the neighbor came over to tell your daddy thinks your mom's cheating on him. I'm finding all these condoms. I don't know what Diane's doing when you're at work, but. Dude, that's awesome.

The fucking spot above the garage. I like that. That's like what every kid wanted. That's like a clubhouse. Put a fucking fireman's pole in that thing, slide down. So you know what we were getting at with the second refrigerator. What was in the college boy fridge upstairs? Just sodas and beers?

Coors lights. That's it. That's all that's all my dad. A holiday plot. There's a lot of them. That's what we on all your garbage will refer to as the garage fridge. That's a big staple of suburban life. You had to have a fucking shitty fridge that was stacked

with fucking Miller lights or fucking Coors lights and fucking Capri sons and ice pops and fucking ice cream sandwiches for the kids. My dad left them all and he didn't put beers in the house. He just left them out there because he said he liked like having to get up to go. I think it was it quelled his drinking a little bit. But he's like, I like to go far to get a beer

because if there was too close, he would drink too much. Now did you guys, did he know that you guys were fucking in there fucking crushing them left and right? Yeah. Yeah. He called it. I didn't know this until I was older, but he called it like John's Love Palace is what he called it.

I thought they had no idea I was fucking in there. They definitely, they were hundreds and thousands. And would they ever, would they ever fuck with you? If they knew you were up there with a girl, would they come in like, John, would they bang on the door or it was pretty. No. Ah, that's, see, that's very, very, that's awesome.

Dude, I used to have to hook up with my high school girlfriend in her living room with her parents, like right up at the top of the steps, sleeping. It was fucking nerve wracking. Yeah. And we played a fast and a loosen blue belt. I'll tell you that. But still, to have a fucking separate fucking with a door, you'd have a little bit of fucking warning,

even if you heard somebody coming, that's clean living right there. Well, the girl I dated in high school didn't have such a thing. And one time I got like, like classic high school stuff, like I got a hand job under the blanket, didn't take my dick out of my sweatpants while her parents were sitting right next to us.

That was- That's awesome. One of the better orgasms I've had in my life. Oh yeah, dude. You're fucking walking a tight rope right there, too. John has the spaghetti. It's really good, Mr. Maloney. I just love this movie so much. You're watching fucking Avatar.

Ooh. That movie's so- Yeah, but I was kind of attracted to that big blue brawl. Yeah, she was all right. That's good, getting hand jobs fucking during Avatar. I got news for you, my friend. That's pretty fucking garbage. Yeah.

And the Gatorade bottle ain't helping me either. Oh, that's good trouble. Don't want to be garbage. What was the name of the grocery store that your mom went to growing up? Shaw's. Shaw's. That sounds shitty. I don't-

I've never heard of it. Shaw's. You got to elaborate a little bit. Compare it to something. It's basically a stop and shop. Okay, stop and shop's all right. I believe the Shaw's is now a stop and shop, but I think the Massachusetts chain, I'm not positive,

but it's now a stop and shop. You don't really have the accent too bad. Did you work on that or is it just Fall River doesn't really have the strong accent? I wouldn't say I worked on it. I went to boarding school. I went to high school in Rhode Island. So there, I kind of lost a little bit.

Gotcha. Wait, how were your finger banging the girls if you went to boarding school? I didn't board there. I was a day student, but it was a boarding school. Wait, you were that close to Rhode Island that you could go back and forth? Yeah, it was only like 15 minutes.

It's like Fall River's like the last town in Massachusetts, Fort Rhode Island. Hmm, that sounds pretty nice. Boarding school, all right. I like that. I like that, that's pretty good. Pretty, pretty good. All right, I got one.

Speaking of movies a little bit, how many of the Fast and Furious movies have you seen? Bonus points if it was in the theaters. I've seen all, actually, no, it's live. You're fucking garbage. What are you talking about? I have not seen Tokyo drip. I refuse to watch it.

Cause I'm a fucking American, okay? I'm not watching some fucking Toyota zip around fucking Seoul, Korea, I'll pay you that. No Paul Walker, no Dominic Toretto, no thank you. But I have seen all of the other ones. I love them dearly. That's not looking good for you, John. I stood up and clapped.

Oh! That's a serious seven. Jesus Christ. Was this a vocational boarding school that you went to? You learned how to be a fucking plumber? Some HVAC boarding school in Rhode Island. I think it's the greatest movie franchise of all. What?

I agree, sheer number wise, it's fucking a huge success. I mean, they're good, they're okay movies for what, they're good movies for what they are, for sure. They're great movies for what they are. But if you like them, you're trash, for sure. The Kennedys don't watch the fucking face of furious movies, I'll tell you that much. Under the radar though, they have made a lot of fucking money

on those movies. Yeah, dude. And you know what? They're not respected enough. Oh boy, we gotta clear it out. We're gonna go all the way. You came in here so hard saying, I'm not garbage, I'm not garbage.

And now you're giving us a fucking 12 star review of fucking Fast and the Furious. Holy shit. They're all well reviewed, like by critics. That would be fucking great. Yeah, other dirtbags. And the acting and the cinematography, oh my God. Oh, all right.

That's fucking funny. I think we got them. We got you on the fucking ropes now. You better play piano or something. I don't know. All right, we got Street Grocery Store. Let me ask you this, Mr. Fidelberg, how do you feel about the McDonald's menu option

known as the Filet-O-Fish? He likes it. He fucking likes it. I don't order them. I was forced, I've never had one probably until about a year or two ago and someone made me try it. Pretty good.

But it was, it was, it was shockingly palatable. I was like, that's the best thing on the menu. Shout out to all the boys making those Filet-O-Fishes out there today. We love you. All right. That's great. Let's see.

All right, I got one. This is one we've done a while ago. Out of the following jerseys, a football, basketball, baseball or hockey, what is the classiest one to wear? Like if you had to wear one to a wedding, what one would you choose? All right, I'm not a jersey guy.

I don't think I own a jersey. I have a car and that's a lot. I have a few jerseys, but I'd never wear one to a game or anything like that. I'm with you, I'm with you. If I had to choose one, that's fucking hard. I would get, honestly, I guess sleeves are a huge deal. So you got to go hockey.

Yeah. If you're gonna wear it to a wedding, you got to have the full arm cover. We can go up there, thanks for that. Yeah, hockey's the less trashy. Hockey, well, this is a toss up. I think Shultz said to hockey, hockey, I went hockey,

because it's also considered a sweater, which is a dress article of clothing. You know what I mean? You put on a sweater to go get pictures, take your, you're at least in a sweater. Not a nice one, but you're in a fucking sweater. But Shultz said a- Yeah, it's very popular that hockey players,

that people call it a sweater. It is, by no means, a sweater. No, not even close. It's not even close. I was actually tweeting today, there was an old clip of Maurice the Rocket Richard he was born 99 years ago today. So the NHL tweeted out some old clip.

It's insane that back when they were wearing sweaters, goalies just didn't have a mask on. Oh yeah. That's one of the moments, I don't think we appreciate that as a society. I know that. That people stood in front and had pucks fired at them, and they did nothing cover their face.

That shit's nuts. Hockey blows my mind, even today, with the equipment that they do have, that you're a fucking stand in there as a grown man with nothing protecting your fist, punching another grown man while he's wearing a helmet. That fucking blows my mind. How insane you have to be to do that.

And then you give him a five minute penalty. Like every other sport you pick up. Which is long. Which every hockey fan will agree, like fucking five minutes, dude. Like five minutes is a long penalty. That's for bashing a man's skull in. Dude, hockey players play it fast and loose,

and I fucking love it. Johnny, what was your first car, buddy? Land Rover Discovery. Ooh. Nice. Very nice. Did you put it? Go ahead. I was gonna say it was awful.

I hated it. Really? It was like, it broke down. Every day I started that car, it was like, look, a single mom who's working two jobs. Like, I hope this starts today. I hope this starts today. Come on, come on.

Yeah, it was a piece of shit. It was dope, too. Yeah, it's a dope car. Was there any... There's a lot of car boy in there. Was there any aftermarket products put in the car once you got it? Did you put a new stereo subwoofer?

Did you get some RAM unit or something? Had a stereo in it. No subwoofer, nothing in the back or anything like that. But yeah, we popped a new, not sound system, but new CD player. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's respectable. All that in the car was a hand-me-down.

It was somebody else's car and you got it? No, no, I bought it used. Yeah, you bought it used. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you meant like a hand-me-down, like, from my pack. No, no, no, I got you. Yeah, no, see, that's all respectable.

There you go. So that's some points working their way out of garbage. That's nice. Yeah, get out of the passenger's hole. You're getting out of the... I would have paid you for like a fucking in black Honda Civic lowered or something. Yeah.

So you could go under a tractor trailer on 95. With a Vaughn Dutch hat on sideways. My second car was a Buick Le Sabre, I think, which was my grandfather's, which had, they call him a suicide knob. The handle, yeah, yeah, yeah. He lost his hand, so he only had one hand. So I had that thing, I was fucking,

that car was 10 billion times better than the Land Rover. That car was fucking sweet. Whip and work with the fucking suicide knob. That's pretty fucking sweet, man. My body, my body's a fucking whack job. He put one on his car like three years ago, just to fucking do it. There's something about that feeling,

even when you're leaning back in a car and you're just making that turn where you're fucking using the one hand and the palm of your hand, you feel like a million bucks. Dude, and the car to do that is a fucking Buick. Those things are big fucking grandpa cars. That car had the best heating or cooling

of any car I've ever been in my life. I think it's because old people will die. Sure, yeah, they gotta keep them cold. Dude. It was like the second you get in the car, freezing, it was beautiful. My best childhood memories is being in my parents' car or my uncle's car.

It would be a fucking big sedan, just exactly what you're talking about. Maybe a company car, and there'd be that faint smell of cigarette smoke, and the AC would be at like 22. And you'd be in the fucking back while some baseball game or news radio's on just fucking just out cold.

Some baseball game that is coming in out of service. That was the fucking worst. Karen loved just fighting through static. It was insane. Dude, yeah, they just sit there, grip the wheel harder, and just deal with the static. It made the game more exciting.

You're like, if something big was going on, it was going in and out, you'd be like, are we gonna hear it? Are we gonna hear it? Are we gonna hear it? Dude, imagine listening to, like imagine now listening to a static radio, a fucking four hour baseball game through static.

Fuck that. Okay. That's how much it narrated the sound of your voice. Yeah, it does. Fuck it. We'll turn up the static. All right, let's see, I got one. Have you ever used the phrases,

it's five o'clock somewhere or it's beer 30? Definitely. Yeah. But, I don't think I've ever, I don't know if I did it's five o'clock somewhere, but beer 30 for sure. In fact, I went through a phase in college

where that was the only beer I would buy. Did you know there was a beer called beer 30? No way. It was a purple 30 rack and it was called beer 30 and I thought it was the funniest, coolest thing in the world. That's fucking awesome. That's fucking, that's not, that ain't too bad, dude.

It's garbage. What, that was the beer brand? Was it's beer 30? That was the brand, beer 30. I'm so jealous, I've never even heard of this. Yeah, that's fucking awesome. My stepdad's a big beer 30 guy, every time he cracks one.

Hey, what time is it? Beer 30. It's actually worse than I remember how bad it looks. It looks like a purple can, purple can's pretty shitty. That's like toilet bowl cleaner comes in purple cans. Sorry, go ahead. No, go ahead, please. What were you gonna say?

I was just gonna say something stupid. I was gonna say, that's what the whole podcast is, don't worry. Yeah, welcome to the show. Say everything stupid, that's what we want. When was the last time you, Mr. John Fidelberg, or have you ever puked in an Uber? Honestly, no.

Okay. I'm not a big puker, I'm a peer. I'll piss myself, no problem. That's even worse, I feel. Wait, piss yourself when you're sleeping? Yeah, I don't get up. Do you know some people will get up and like piss in the corner?

Yeah. I don't do, I just pissed a bit. Wow. I probably, I did it pretty recently, but before that, it hadn't been in a long time. Like, let's just, let's be honest here, I pissed myself two weeks ago. Oh.

What was the event? Were you in bed with somebody? Yes, my girlfriend was in bed with me. That's fucking awesome. I used to piss myself so often that I devised a plan for how to cover it up, where I would like, if I woke up first and I'd pissed the bed,

I'd go get like a water bottle like this, and I'd take the cap off and I would just tip it over. So there wasn't water in it, but I would just like, when a girl woke up, I'd be like, oh, I must have forgot to put the cap on the water bottle last night. Sorry, I spilled my slightly yellow pea smelling Deer Park water bottle.

I apologize. Hey lady, you gotta change your Brita filter, all right? I just want to hold. Something's wrong with the pipes in this. This is building pre-war? What the fuck? What is this, a fucking Desani? What's going on here?

I need a bowl in spring. Dude, that's fucking genius. That's a garbage move. Oh, it's a big garbage. That's a big piece of trash move, dude. I'm sorry. That's a tough one to come back. If you pee in the bed and just say,

hey, sorry, I pissed myself, but to devise a plan of finding an empty water bottle, fake the water bottle, I'm sorry. I'm finding an empty water bottle, fake them. Then he's like, you know, he's she's sleeping. He's like trying to elbow her to wake her up a little bit. They're like, ah, ah.

He's like stretching too much and stuff to try to wake her up. Be like, ah, did you spill this bottle? This guy came on here fucking so defensive. I'm not going to tell you right now. Let me tell you what I do when I shit in the bed. That's fucking genius, man. I love that.

And you know, it's funny. I feel like we're in fights with girls and being like, no, you pissed the bed knowing full well, I pissed the bed. I was like, great food. Relationship ending arguments about who pissed in the bed, knowing it was me. Dude, you fucking deny it till the end.

I don't care what it is. I don't care if the feds are closing in on you. You were with your kids all night. You don't know what's going on. Fuck that. But that's an interesting thing you bring up. And there is some kind of psychology because there really is, there's three different people.

There's the pukeers, all right? There's the people who pee the bed. And then there's that weird fucking group, which I'm kind of in or I know what happened to me once is the fucking they go and pee somewhere weird in the middle of the night in the house. Well, they pee somewhere that they think it's a toilet. I know, but that's such a weird thing.

It's always a stationary object, like an end table, a TV, the hamper, it's always something. It's always the hamper. I one time watched a friend. This is a high school party. I watched a friend get up. He was sleeping on the couch. There was a girl passed out on the air mattress.

I watched him get up thinking he was going to the bathroom and he just directly onto her. And then he's like shook it afterwards. Like I've never seen it before, like witnessing someone thinking they're out of toilet. And he like shook it and did the whole pee situation and then just laid back down. And somehow she didn't wake up and telling her

in the morning that she was covered in piss. That was not one big exercise. I was, because I was going to ask you, have you ever witnessed that? Like have you ever, it's weird when you see your boys doing that. Dude, my buddy did it weekly. After about 12 course lights, his brain shut down

and he would fall asleep on the couch and get up. He peed on my mom's TV, peed on a table. That's great. I've seen girls do it too. That's even weirder. Though like just squatting the corner. Yeah, I've never seen a girl do it. His mom's a hell of a lady.

Mom, if you're listening, I'm sorry. Shout out to Patty, huh? Playing it fast and loose. Is Gargoyle in the corner? Gargoyle's a great move. Gargoyle. That's fucking awesome. I never heard that.

We used to do that. You stand on top of a keg and call it your gargoyle. That's fucking too kind. Holy dude, that water bottle trick, that's fucking great. Put that one in the bank. Yeah, that one. Because, dude, you know what? Lying through your teeth is fucking more,

is better than that feeling of when, because I've pissed the bed when you wake up and like they got to clean it up and it's like the sheets are going in and you're hungover. You just want to get breakfast. That shame is fucking brutal. Oh, it's the worst. People always talk about the shame after you've

finished watching a porn. I never got that. Oh, no. The shame of pissing the bed, though, is a brutal one. Dude, you have that next morning fucking hungover anxiety already. Waking up, what did I do? If I did that, what the fuck else did I do?

Who did I text? What's going on? The text, I've actually devised multiple plans to deal with my alcoholism. Yeah, I'll come right there with you, buddy. The morning texts, I'm so good at, here's a trick, right? You cross your eyes when you open the text message app. You cross your eyes and then you can delete them all without

focusing on the words. Without focusing on the words. You can still see the red box, but you don't have to see the words that you sent. And it's one of the more genius moves I use. Definitely have done that. I like that. That's all about you feeling better.

Who fucked the person that got the text? Is it thick? The thing of a. What was that about? I have no idea what you're talking about. Yeah, I don't have anything on my phone. I don't know, but this chicken with pissed the bed. I got a leaky bra on over here.

The thing about convincing, it's not even about lying that you peed in bed. The fact that you're lying about you not peeing the bed is one thing. But then a byproduct of that lie is convincing this woman that she peed the bed. So like she's walking out of there like, did I fucking piss? What am I doing?

I got to rethink my, and then meanwhile, you're just like throwing the condom out in a Gatorade bottle and hitting a brick. She knows full fucking well. I don't know. Fidelberg is the one that pissed the bed. They're just stunned by the fact that, holy shit, this guy's taken it so far and then they just leave it alone.

But they know. They know. Yeah, they know. They deep down they know. It's like a 50s marriage. We're going to sweep this under the rug. John, would you say that you're a just a two part question? Are you a yearly subscription guy,

or are you month to month? What's your move? Um, for what? Just in general. Or let me say it this way, are you a minimum payment guy, or are you a remaining balance guy? I'm a minimum payment guy. I'll be honest with you.

I'm kicking the can down the road. I would say, I mean, like, I don't really know. If there's a yearly option, I'll probably take the yearly option. Like, the athletic, subscribe to the athletic. They just charge you yearly, which is great. But then like Netflix and Hulu, a month to month, if you give me a year option, I'll take a year,

just because I'd rather get that rate. That's smart. That's smart. That's very classy. I'm going to give that to you right there. There, that's a fucking good. That's a gentleman's move. I don't do it because I might die mid month

and I don't want them taking the full 15. You know what I mean? I'll see you on the 29th. When I subscribe to porn sites, I usually go like three months. Usually go what? When I subscribe to porn sites, it's usually like a three month one. Yeah, because you don't want to think you're

going to be a creep in six months. Right, right. I'll do a thing like, like, basically like, probably like, I would say it's like semi-annual, maybe twice a year. I'll like get drunk and be like, I'm done with porn hub. I'm going to, I'm just going to get a browser subscription. I've watched all porn hub has to offer. Let's see what's behind the paywall.

And then I'll usually, first of all, if all, if I don't know if anyone's here subscribed before, it always gets flagged as an unusual charge on your card. Yeah. You will have to talk to Capital One and explain to them. I'm just checking out the new Bella Danger video. I'm doing research. I'm interviewing Sasha Gray this week.

I'm doing a little research. Cut me some fucking slack. That's funny. I've never been, I'm surprised you say that. I'm not, do you sign up? I never, I just do the free stuff. If I look at porn, I look at the free stuff. You go all in on subscriptions and everything?

Like I said, it's rare, but it probably for like two months a year, the month would be separate. Sure. I'd like going all in and I'll tell you what, pretty good guy. It's worth it, man. It really is. It shows you the things that you're missing, that you don't know you're missing.

Well, once you see it, you're like, well, like Brett, so my buddy used to get, he was like really into tech, so he would get us for our birthdays every year. He would give us a password. Like he would be like, oh, here's this name and password that I found or I don't know. They're all shit, what's going on, but we would get them. And well, like Brazzers is like 27 sites

or something like that, right? You get Mill Funner, you get Gil Funner, you get the whole fucking gamut. Dude, sharing a porn site password with your buddies is a dangerous game. Sure. So remember, we had one be my co-host Kevin KFC and then another kid in the office.

We got a porn hub premium account and we were sharing it. And then because you get the recommended for you. Yeah, which is based on two weirdos. Whatever. Well, yeah, I'd be like, dude, who was watching just like chubby amateur hand jobs? Like that. It was like every morning we'd have a group chat.

I don't know who's watching, but I'm listening. That sounds like an art house film to me. Was that in Tribeca? I like that. Chubby. I'm jumping up a little bit just here and there. It was probably you with fucking the Avatar fetish. That's who it probably was.

Fucking sweatpants, Feidlberg over there. Oh, that's too good. OK, all right. And I was going to ask you before, but you already answered it. I was going to say, do you call it a laundry basket or a hamper? You call it a hamper, huh? Call it a hamper. That's garbage, my friend.

Big hamper family too over here. Big hamper, yeah. Hamper trash. I got three of them in my house. Put it in the hamper. Yeah. Hamper's, yes. I didn't know that.

What about this one? Just to follow up on it, do you call it a vacuum or a sweeper? Well, they're two entirely different things. Call it a vacuum. Call it a vacuum. OK. People in your family call it a sweeper. Yeah, we don't call it a vacuum. It's called the sweeper.

My mom just bought a brand. My mom just bought a brand new $1,200 Electrolunks sweeper. That's what they call it. You guys really are mountain people. That is fucking. Sometimes my dad calls it cleaner. What?

A sweeper? A sweeper or a cleaner? What's he called a car? A driver? What the fuck? Go get in the steering wheel. I've never heard a call a sweeper either. All right.

That's good. I'm just telling you that there is an option. You know what? It is garbage. And the gentleman passed the test. He calls it a vacuum cleaner. Gang, just a quick reminder that today's episode is brought to you by the good people at Sheath Underwear.

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You know what was fucking a real class? Was my neighbor had one. It was the vacuum system that was throughout the house. You just plugged the tube into the wall. I didn't know what was going on. Where it went, fucking in the neighbor's yard or something. Have you ever seen that? Do you know what that is?

I've seen it and I think it's actually, I think there was a time it was class and I think now it's garbage because now it's like an archaic relic of like the 70s. 100%, I'll give you that. I'll give you that. But back in the day, that was like having a dumb waiter or something.

That thing was fucking A, okay. A dumb waiter. I always wanted a dumb waiter in my house. I would have been too scared. Too many horror movies involve a fucking dumb waiter. No, boy no. All right, I got one. Have you ever owned a Scarface or Sopranos poster?

No, definitely no Sopranos. I don't think Scarface. I'm gonna go up 99. No, 100% sure. 100% sure I've never had a Scarface poster before. Good answer, because there is no coming back from that. I did have like the college, like the John Belushi. I definitely had two girls in black and white kissing

because like at that time, lesbians were cool. Like that was hot. Lesbian, if you're watching lesbian porn now, you got a fucking problem. But back in the day, that was it. I love lesbian porn. Yeah, it's my favorite. No?

Whoa, hey, really? Still? All right, I'm not a premium gold member in fucking you porn. I have a lot of guys. I'm a casual shopper. I don't know anything that I'm not. I love two beautiful women going at it. I didn't, you know, that turns me on.

I don't know why. Hey, I'm not on fucking trial here, by the way. Hold on. It's kids grilling me all of a sudden. That's fucking funny. Have you ever been arrested at a sporting event? No. Ever ran out of a seat?

I was putting time out. Putting time out? Yeah. What's that? I had a patriot feeling. I don't know. A cop just made me sit Indian style for like 10 minutes while he used to do things like that.

I don't know what he thought he would be. That's the fucking greatest thing I've ever heard of in my life. I was trying to turn a tailgate into the pretenace and I was just throwing full beers and like no one was reciprocating. And the cop was like, hey, sit down. You need to, you're in time out.

You need to relax for a second. And I sat down and just, that was it. And I was like, he had like a stopwatch going. I had 10 minutes. He's like, all right, you can go now. Like I did zero sobering up in those 10 minutes. That's fucking a funny move. It's like putting a dunce cap on him.

Go sit in a corner, jerk off. He makes you do two laps around the stadium. So a final bird, suicides now. Have you ever ran out on the field? Never, no. No, OK. That's good. That's good.

Three, four times, but they were all non-sporty events. OK. I did arrest Tom Brady once, but that wasn't how to do it. Famously, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got arrested for Tom Brady? Yeah, during the flake gate, we all handcuffed. Me and like three coworkers handcuffed ourselves in the lobby of NFL headquarters,

demanding to speak to Roger Goodell. Wow. How do you call them coworkers? They're code defendants. Did Brady ever reach out to you? No, he said, no, wait. Yes, they never reached out personally. But he did.

It was like the five year anniversary of it this year, this past March. And he like quote tweeted it and was like, thanks to the support fellows or something like that. But he's never actually reached out. I mean, that should be a couple of fucking tickets or a fucking sweatshirt or something. Tom Brady, let's go.

At least a kiss on the lips. Tommy. If that was Michael Vick, we would have got a couple of fucking jerseys out of it, at least I would think. Interesting. I'm assuming this is a yes, but we've done this a couple of times.

Have you ever tailgated a sport event and not gone in? Just gone to the tailgate to get tuned up. And when everybody starts? Wow, OK. I've gone without tickets before, and then usually once I get applause, I end up scalping a ticket. But I don't think I've ever gone. I forget.

I don't believe so. I did it at Country Fest once, like a Kenny Chesney concert at Gillette. One time I went to that tailgate and didn't go into the concert. But I think I think I've gone in to all the sporting events I've gone to. It's always a real sad walk away when everybody's headed into the concert or the fucking everybody's like,

high-fiving, can't wait to get a hot dog. And you're like, oh, yeah, just waiting to get a taxi, or has the bus run this way? I'm going to hang out with the Skels in the parking lot for a little while. See if I can find a lot lizard over in B4. Once that game starts, man, that place turns into no man's. You don't want to be out there.

Holy. We used to go to Philly's games just for dollar dogs. We wouldn't even go watch the game. We'd just go in and get the hot dog. We'd go in at the seventh inning, just get hot dogs, eat like five hot dogs each, and go back out to the parking lot. You're fucking trash. Real dirtball shit.

I'll tell you what, I don't know what they put in those hot dogs down at Citizen Bank Park. But they are fucking delicious. Shout out to Hatfield. Keep them coming. They are fantastic. Did you say Kenny Chesney? Hold on, did I hear Kenny Chesney?

Kenny Chesney, yeah. I give him credit, though, that he didn't go in. He just went out in the fucking park. Good times. When you're in your 20s, a good time's a good time. You got to see what it is. Are you a Kenny Chesney fan? You like New Country?

I do like New Country. I like it less than I used to. There was probably in my early to mid-20s, I was a huge New Country guy. I like it less. I don't really listen to it much anymore. But I don't even listen to music anymore. I'm a fan of silence.

Yeah. Yeah, you know, it's funny you say that. Those are a lot of garbage points, though. You got to fucking fast. And if you're is, you got the New Country, the Gatorade. It's stacking up against you. But I respect that what you just said, because I feel like that too, man.

It's like, and I don't know if it's like, I get real emotional when I look, because I'm a real, I have like a really poppy ear, like I want to hear the hits. And it either like makes me real happy, and then there's a drop off after it, or I'm listening to fucking Otis Redding, and I get real fucking sad.

I am kind of over. It's called mental illness, fucking wacko. Jesus Christ, go talk to somebody. This guy can't get through a fucking playlist without crying. He just said the same thing. I like it silent. He said, I like silent. You go, I listen to Katy Perry and weep.

You fucking, you fat dummy. California girls, shout out to Katy. Good luck with the baby. Speaking of hot dogs, I'm going to offer up some information that might be bad for me. Let's do it. I'm going to catch up on hot dogs. You're a catch up on hot dog guy.

Yeah, I'll pop catch up on my hot dog 100 times out of 100. Now, is that the only condiment that you're putting on it, or is that in an array? Uh, it would, it's usually the only one. But if I'm at a ball game, say, then I'll fucking load it up. Because then I'll get the audience, I'll get the relish, I'll get the mustard, I'll get the catch up, I do the whole shebang.

But if I'm at like a barbecue and that there's not chopped onions available, just straight catch up. Yeah. I take a lot of shit for this, and I'll share this with you, John, because you're being open and honest. My main. He likes hot dogs. Yeah, don't tell nobody.

Coming out of his ears. No, I'm, I put mayo on my hot dog. I'm a big mayo on my hot dog. Oh, that's great. If there was mayo available, I'd be 100% in with you. Thank you, buddy. Get the mayo there. A lot of people are, a lot of people, half the country

has a staunch opinion on putting catch up on a hot dog. I, quite frankly, don't give a fuck because it's a hot dog. Yeah, whatever. It's like already you're eating like the fucking snout in an asshole. Who cares if you put a little catch up on it to get it down? Yeah. I don't give a fuck.

We'll do it, you know? Those food alias can fucking take a hike. I think mayonnaise is an, again, this might be a garbage take. I think mayonnaise is an incredibly underrated condiment. I think mayonnaise should take on everything. Yes, it, yo, this guy should be fucking running for mayor at the Fall River. What the fuck's going on here?

I like what this kid has to say. OK. You're absolutely right. And it's fucking very European. And people used to shit on putting fucking their fries in mayo. Now everybody's fucking doing it. No, he's just trying to get on. Your Fidelberg's just trying to butter you up with mayo.

He saw the big man goes, he might take it easy on me if I start talking about fucking fat condiments. And then next thing you know, hot as Fidelberg guys, you'll be running for mayor. Now listen, he's on fucking trial here, all right? Are you, were you a Hellman's family or were you a Miracle Whip family? Hellman's.

Yeah. Like a true fucking red blooded American. There you go. Not that commie fucking bullshit Miracle Whip. Salad spread, whatever the fuck you're putting on it. Yeah, that stuff stinks. Ugh. Mm, OK.

All right, I think I got a couple more here. Oh, I got one. Let's call it, it's a hot summer day, not unlike today. You're standing on the old street corner in New York City, looking for a nice treat. And the ice cream truck pulls up. What do you order, Fidelberg? Choco Choco.

Ooh. Nice. Fuckin' classy. Now, what if it's dinner and a dessert? What if it's the, what if it's not the suburban ice cream truck, but the regular one? If would you get a Mr. Softy, what would you do there? If it was actually soft?

You get the soft serve if you got it. Choco vanilla swirl for sure. Yeah, you got it. But a Choco Choco, there's something about, it's the Choco Tacos and then the, what are they called? The other things that came in a cone with like the, you kind of peel the top off. The drumstick.

Drumsticks. Drumsticks. There's something about, I guess it's probably just a stale ice cream cone. It's not the freshness. It's just a better than a regular one. Yeah. It's just like chewy.

It's fuckin' unbelievable. Yeah, it's not dry. Like the other ones are so dry, I feel. You get a fresh one. It's like fuckin' cardboard. A lot of people shit on the Choco Taco, which I don't understand why, because when I was a kid, it's like the Yankees.

Like this, it just has like an allure to me. Only you could equate the fuckin' Choco Taco to the Yankees. Dude, it was huge. Like I'm older than you guys. I'm 44, so I remember kind of when the Choco Taco started fuckin' poppin' off. All right, it was always maybe 75 cents more expensive than everything else on the fuckin' menu.

So you seldom got your mom. It's an import, it's comin' from Mexico. Yeah, you seldom got your parent on it. My mom would never fuckin' fork over for it, so it became like this lore, this legend, and it had that space-aid silver fuckin' packaging. You had to get your fuckin' hands on it. And finally, when you did, it didn't disappoint,

because that is like seven layers of fuckin' deliciousness right there. Honestly, I haven't seen someone speak so passionately about something in a long time, and I already respect how much you love the Choco Taco. Choco Taco, I like the way you think, my friend. I'll tell you that. He's gonna be talkin' about it for the next three hours.

You're over there, what are you gettin'? A fuckin' screwball, huh? A fuckin' ninja turtle face? No, there's only a handful of acceptable answers. Soft serve, if soft serve is there, you get soft serve. Soft serve is a delicacy. And hold on, I'd like to say, unless you're allergic, if you don't get a twist, you're not a fuckin' gentleman.

You get a twist. You don't get vanilla, you don't get chocolate. You get a fuckin' twist. And you don't do the dippin' bullshit, you get some sprinkles like a gentleman. No. If you do that. I mean, you tell that.

You're spot on, spot on. He knows his way around an ice cream truck. No, a firecracker, if it's July 4th weekend, you can do a firecracker. You mean the red, white, and blue? Oh, yeah, come on. A chipwitch. Of course.

Chipwitch is great. And a choco taco. Yeah. There's not much, you know, you can't do the ninja turtle, you can't do the screwball, you can't do the baseball glove. Those kids. Sometimes I get a little fuckin',

I get a little crazy with an, I go Italian ice sometimes. That's respectable. I like to, I like to. You wanna let your hair down a little bit, fight or burn? Hey, it's Friday somewhere, am I right? I also like the snow cone from the,

from the ice cream truck. Even though it takes about three days till you can fuckin' eat it. It's trash. No, it's okay. No, it's trash. That's fuckin' dude. It's like chillin' on fuckin' baseball.

And I will say, the baseball glove, that's not that bad. I don't put that in the same category as the SpongeBob SquarePants bullshit. But then when you get to a gum, the gum is just like, you're just eating a rock. Exactly, yeah. I don't have emotional tears

due to that fucking gum. Yeah, you got it as a child because there was gum that was in the shape of a baseball mitt. That's the only reason you bought it. You weren't, you did it because you liked baseball. It wasn't a fucking good dessert. True. It's bottom of the barrel ice cream trash, okay?

Well, we all found common ground in the Choco Taco. Choco Taco's all right. After this podcast. I gotta be honest, I'm an idiot. And for the longest time, I thought there was really taco meat in there. I swear to fucking God. I'm not, until like way too long, way, way.

I remember my buddy got one and I'm like, dude, you're eating fuckin', that's fuckin' gross, dude. And like, they thought I was joking about how fucking- Frozen ground beef. I gotta be honest, it doesn't sound that bad to me. All right, you're losing it. Come on.

Oh. All right, we're gonna let you get out of here in a second, Kippy. You got anything else? What do you got? I'll do one more because we're in food and let's sit on with the quick, you know, the quick regulars.

Absolutely. Do you prefer curly fries or waffle fries? And there is a correct answer to this. Wait, hold on. That's not the only option. Between them. Okay. Curly fries or waffle fries?

Curly. Oh. 100%. Oh, no. Yikes. Take that fucking bullshit back to Fall River. Yeah. Now, hold on.

I'll give you a regional handicap on this. Are the curly fries big up there in Massachusetts? I don't think so. Yeah. I think they're, I don't see curly fries a lot. I like rarities. I like things that aren't on menus often. That's a little exquisite.

I'll see that because that's where it comes for the availability. And I feel waffle fries are the less available of the fry. But. You think so? I think curly fries. I agree with you. Curly fries would be more rare than a waffle.

There's only one place I know you get a curly fry and that's fucking Orbeez. Yeah. There's one place you get waffle fries and that's Chick-fil-A. No, they have waffle fries in other places. They have curly fries in other places too. I can't name them, neither can you.

You fucking idiot. I can, but you guys might not know them. I actually, I don't care for french fries in general, to be honest. I'm not a big french fry guy, which is a crazy stance, I know, but if I'm going to like a fast food place, I'll get two burgers instead of a burger and fries. Hey.

I respect that. By all means. Do you. That's, that's, that's a okay. I respect that. The burger and chicken sandwich, something like that. I like the fry, the fry doesn't last long. It goes like bad so fast.

Yeah. You can, you need to eat french fries right away or else you're fucked. Absolutely fucked. You go, I think it's going to happen. I think we're going to start a revolution here. Get two burgers, get a burger and chicken sandwich, get a burger and a wrap, maybe if you're McDonald's,

get the little chicken wraps. There's plenty of stuff to do that you don't have to do the french fry. I like it. I never thought about it that way. It's pretty fucking solid. I'm sure big potatoes hurting these days with the keto. Big potatoes are losing it.

With the keto and this and that and the other thing. They asked me a lot. It was like that report that like, they're just throwing out millions of potatoes because fucking restaurants aren't open anymore so that no one's buying french fries. Yeah. So let's keep that energy going.

Let's keep it going. Down with the fry. Let's stay on food here. We're going to hit you with two with the are you garbage staples before we let you get out of here. Three actually. Number one would be growing up. Was it customary in your house for the children

to drink milk with dinner? That's milk with dinner, John. Did you drink milk with dinner? Big milk household. Yeah. Fucking final Berg. All right. This kid's all right.

I got a follow up. Do you still do it? I don't do it as often anymore but I still like a nice glass of milk. With dinner? A milk and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Come on. Of course, dude.

This kid's fucking jelly. What kind of milk we taught a whole milk? 2%? 2%. There you go. It's a little of the road guy. I like it. You don't fuck with skim, do you?

No, heaven's no. Yeah, that's right. Skim is for fucking pussies and Europeans. Get out of here. Take that shit back to Denmark or wherever the fucking guy. This ain't fucking Paris, all right? Hit the bricks.

All right, okay. Next one. It's a big thing here on are you garbage? Now this is a trashy move. We'll see what your family did. Was the butter in the refrigerator or was it left out on the counter? Counter.

Woo! That's no good. He's fucking two for two. Just so everybody's keeping score. It was in like a nice. In the container, of course, or whatever. So the butter, if it wasn't the one that was actively being used, it was kept in the fridge.

But the one that was used, that's the way to do it. If you leave it in the fridge, it's too fucking hard. You can't spread it on anything. You gotta get the air get to it with the bit. That's my stance is hard. It's trash to keep it on the counter. But through the fans and all of the guests, I'm being proven that I'm being told that I'm wrong.

So I have to adjust my stance on the butter inner outside of the fridge, which I'm not happy about, but I'll do it. And the last one I wanted to ask you, I'm gonna switch it up here. You could do this now. You're a young guy, you got your own place. If you have eggs in the house and you make eggs, okay,

and you have the carton out, the egg that you cracked, do you put the old shell back in the container and leave it until all the eggs are done or do you throw each individual shell out as you go? You just throw them out individually. That's crazy. That's crazy. Will that call me crazy, John?

That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. Your eyes started squinting like, what the fuck? That is the non-garbage answer. However, I fucking put them all in the container.

I do too. It's a garbage move. Why do you do that? I'll tell you why. Because we're fucking Irish trash from fillings. We're fucking derelicts. No, because my trash can is in comparison to, in respect to the stove where you're cracking the egg

and putting it on the pan, is on the other side of the kitchen. So you turn around, it leaks, it causes a mess. So I just started to fucking, somebody else showed me that trick too. You just throw them right in there and put it back in. It's trash. It's not the crazy one ever. I get it.

Sure. But also, I've definitely done that before where I put it back in there. But then before I put that back in the fridge, I go over to the trash and just supplement it. That's very respectable, yes. I, on the other hand, am garbaggio. Unfortunately, I don't think the eggs are gonna save you

in the court of public opinion. Kevin, what are your thoughts on this channel? If I had to put a number on it, I would say like 68% garbage. He's got some good stock. I'm sure his parents are good. They got the detached garage, which is fucking clean living.

But then you got the fucking purple beer, the fucking Fast and the Furious catalog. The condoms. The condoms. The water, listen. The pee in the bed. That's a lot of fucking blemishes in the file. The pee in the bed was a tough one.

That was how to come back. But don't look at garbage as a bad thing. Garbage is a great thing. That means you're a fucking solid salt to the earth person. And I gotta tell you, even though it's a garbage move, you're really did a number on me with the fucking pouring the bottle of water to cover up the pee.

I fucking give you a lot of, that is fucking, I'm telling everybody, I'm telling all my little cousins who still pee to bed. I'm telling everybody to pull a fucking Fidelberg the next time they wet the bed. I'll sit them down and tell the story. Hey, there's a guy out there named John Fidelberg. Tell me this story.

It might save your life one day, kid. Good stuff. John, thank you so much for sitting with this. Yeah, man. Yeah, I'm gonna go with Kippy. 70, 80% garbage, but the best kind of garbage there is. We had such a good time with you. Yeah.

I'm saw being 68 to 80. That works for me. There you go. It's shockingly accurate. Like, it's pretty strong on. Yeah. That's funny. John, anything you want the folks out there to know

anything you got coming up? No, nothing at all. Just KFC radio? It's KFC radio, yeah. You got it, brother. Well, thank you so much for tuning in. Thank you so much for joining us, Kippy. What do you got the folks out there need to know?

Again, just iTunes, Rate, Review, Subscribe, YouTube. You can subscribe as well and guess there's a network to get all the full catalog of shows. So check it out. Yes, gang, we have a lot of extra content that we're gonna be putting out there. We want you guys to be all to be a part of it. Keep those numbers going up on YouTube,

subscribe on iTunes, just like Kevin said. Thank you to everybody out there in the live chat for sitting in with us. Dylan, our producer, Joey the Irish, our intern, Joey, thank you. And John Fuddleberg, fucking awesome, buddy. Thank you so much for tuning in and being with us, man. Thank you very much for having me, guys.

I appreciate you. You got it, brother, be safe. Bye, bye, later. Guys, we will see you next week. Thank you. Peace.