Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Flea Market Weapons w/ Dan Soder

Episode Date: December 18, 2025

Are You Garbage presents comedian and podcast host Dan Soder! You know Dan Soder from stand up comedy, Soder the podcast, Kill Tony, The Bonfire, The Joe Rogan Experience, Impressions, Legion of Skanks, This is Not Happening, We Might Be Drunk, Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast and his Comedy Special "On the Road"! and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Aura Frames: Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/GARBAGE. Promo Code GARBAGE Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to https://RocketMoney.com/GARBAGE today. HexClad: Take advantage of Hexclad’s Holiday Sale! Head to https://hexclad.com/GARBAGE for Up To 50% Off! Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to another exciting edition of R.U. Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's our little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find out to be classy. Just a big old piece of trash Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Dave Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.

We're out back here with Tudy's in a new addition. She just got her first shipment of venison in here. Okay. A little chewy. Okay, a little late in the season, I feel. Venison, sushi? Shit, come on. That's six hours down the drain. My co-s is coming at you from right next to me.

He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He is an international businessman of my best pal in the whole wide world. give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan. What I'm, gang. Shout out to you as always. Please make sure you rate view, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube. Also, full video available over there on Spotify, baby. And the boys are in the middle of the charts.

Right where we want to be. I ain't at the top of the charge. It ain't showing off. Meaty part of the curve. That's where the boys belong. Then obviously the greatest website of all time, www. Patreon.com. Check it out.

Check it out, gang. And we could be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean, incredibly special guests. Back with us again today. As I say, family at this. point one of the funniest one of the most talented comedians out there in the whole god damn universe despite his misdirected fandom for the san francisco 49ers can't be perfect mr dan soda everybody i also think it's at this point it's just been established on garbage this is just to go back to find the degree yes this is like when you go back to chernoble

to find out how bad it was we're having fun now there's doctors up in a balcony looking down at you You got one of those readers? Oh, it's really garbage in this part. It's real garbage. We've got to get out of here in a couple of seconds. It's like when they tested Albert Poulhose, when they tested his hand-eye coordination. Oh, yeah.

And it was just... Man, the fact that his fingering must have been incredible. Albert Poole-Holls? He loves him fingering chicks. Yeah, but he was probably like, this is how I store you off. I go store you off, then you go finish me off. She goes, all right.

in a room like a balloon. Look all her fly all over. We've been talking about this. Now, you're a diner guy. Yeah, love a diner. Love a cup of coffee, too. Love a cup of coffee. That's how you start every diner meal.

It's the hard-hitting stuff we get into. You like coffee, Dan? I love it. I love it. All these podcasts want to break down politics. Comedy. Comedy. Nope.

I'll tell you I start every diner meal. Hit us. Breakfast, lunch, or dinner? A cup of coffee. Cup of coffee. Get a goddamn gentleman. Bring the coffee. The odor I get, the more I appreciate coffee with non-breakfast food.

It's great. It's coffee in the turkey club? Ooh. What do you doing? But I do this. I got a case to solve. I'll do the coffee. Order the food.

Get a drink with the food. Of course. And then refresh the coffee when I'm done with the food. This is what we're getting into. What is that drink? Oh, it's changed. What is it at breakfast? What's the beverage order at breakfast?

Breakfast is going to sound crazy. It's because I'm going to sound crazy. It's because I'm going to. I grew up drinking it, cranberry juice. Whoa. Love cranberry juice. Holy! Departed scene.

Pre all that shit. I just fell in love with Ocean Spray's cranberry cocktail when I was a kid. And I loved it. O.J.'s fine. I go O.J. Not at a diner, though. It's not a good O.J. It is.

It's just brutal. But if they have a, I want a big cranberry juice. And I just fucking tell the difference between ocean spray and some garbage ass other. The other brand. Do you know if it comes out of the gun or is it bottled? I don't know. First taste. I need it to be sweet, but I need that cranberry snack.

I'll give it to you. How do you feel about the cranberry ginger ale around the holiday season? Love it. Love it. Shweps does it better than anybody. Canada Dry does regular ginger ale better than anybody. Agreed. But Shweps?

Cranberry? Get the fuck out. I'm going to get one of those now. You son of a bitch. I'm going to get one on the walk. I'm turning on 6th Avenue when my first mission is buying a cranberry sweats. I respect it. Ooh, baby.

Katie, we're drinking good tonight. I'm going to get her on. My lady loves it, too. This is live, live feed it to her. I'm calling her, baby. I'm getting cranberry sweats. I saw the AYG guys. We're getting cranberry shwept, baby.

Start yelling, Baba booie. Baba booie, Baba booie's penis. Speaking of which, when you were a young man, I'm surprised you got the cranberry juice. Yeah. Shout out to moms for making that work. Well, we're out. That wasn't cheap. It's like cigarettes.

It's like finding your brand of cigarettes. Sure. You start somewhere, you move a little, you move a little bit. So I started orange juice, as we all do. Then I was a big cran apple. I was going to ask you. Did you get into the fusion? Cran apple was the first one.

Unbelievable. It's still good. Unbelievable. And then cranberry. I mean, craned, what's the other one? Cran grape. Cran grape. There's also cran raspberry.

No, crown raspberry. I don't know if the check was there. Really? Yeah. So just do it. We're living out of Regan. And then I said, I started talking like Regan. You got apple, cran apple.

We got grape, grain, great, grain, great. That's genius, though. This is why he's a genius. That's why he's so good. But then I eventually was like, no, I put all childish things away. Sure. And I just went back to the meat. Came an adult.

Cranberry juice. And this is like around middle school, so I'm getting pubs on my dick. Yeah. I'm drinking cranberry juice. Playing with your guys. I'm playing with your guys. I'm still playing with my guys. You got enough.

You got a man up. Some stuff. You got a man in a house. Picking juice. juice was where I settled and I loved it ocean spray cranberry juice then became my like drink but then at the diner when I got the coffee and I got the especially breakfast big plate of eggs toast hash around's bacon why don't you give me a juis of some sort I want cranberry you do it a lime do a lemon in there no no no straight out oh gee yeah I just take it three fingers

of cranberry me ice cranberry cream berry I won't go I'll go no ice what well not one not No. I won't go warm. Yeah. But. Hey, is your cranberry chilled by any sense? Do you have room temperature cranberry? Shaken, that's there.

My friend, this is a diner. But. You need a job? Give you a job. Okay. You are crazy. No crazy people here. I will.

There's nothing better to me that having a, a ocean spray cranberry thing in the, in the refrigerator. The big ass bottle. Like on, like, this. The grip on that's great. Trish, good grip. You better have a cranberry juice at the house. Can we go back to diner waiters are like the bouncers of New York City? They are.

Dude, they are never scared. They will, they will, you'll see one, but if shit goes down, there'll be 12 of them. They'll all come out. They all have the energy of people that teach self-defense classes. Yes. Where they go, now, my friend, I put my hand on the knife with this hand, I remove the knife. That gives me, they just know. They can do that switch the gun real quick.

Oh yeah. No, so now this gun, my gun. Make sure you tip. Yeah, I went, because I lived in a story. Soup salad, not included. Astoria, I, you know, I was in Astoria for 15 years and we would go to, now closed, RIPP. The first thing, this is what the, I swear to God,

this is the first thing you ever said to me. Neptune diner. Yes. Neptune diners. Go on Friday to get the lobster bis. That's the first. And I know I was a lobster. I know it was a lobster.

I know a shrimp in a lobster suit. Did they have the lobster tank? Yes, Bel Air Diner has a lobster tank. Still filled with shrimp? I don't know what those guys are doing. Oh, yes, they did. Around. What they would do, what Neptune would do is you would walk in and they would have ice

and they'd have all the fish right there. No shit. And they'd be like right here. God damn market. That's what those Greeks. I had a steak there one time that blew my doors back. Neptune diner was phenomenal. Fuck.

So the reason we're asking you all this, okay? Spent some pushback from a friend of ours from the Mediterranean. Oh, Stavi? What did Stovie? I mean, he's got diner in his blood. He's got diner in his blood. The one thing that's been a sore spot in negotiations with Mr. Halkius, all respect to him. Well, I've started to cut you off.

You have seen us. The last time we saw you, we were in this setting we were talking about. Yes, we were. We saw you at our airport breakfast. Yeah. When I was flying into New Orleans, forced gang. and we were leaving and you were leaving and we were posted up we were very jealous we ended up having a great time but we did not want to go we were on the road all week and we were showing up and you guys were like it was like show uh sannie came in with a little bit of a tooth sagelow nailed it he goes we're showing up at the park we worked late at the restaurant yeah this is exactly what sagelow said he goes this is like when you get off work at the restaurant and everyone's at the party and you're leaving and i go and we're just going to the kitchen to take shots yeah we're just like in the kitchen like what happened oh we're you missed a fight and then you're just like catching up you didn't shower still smell a little bit

like the restaurant dude you got your non slips on oh yeah that's what i'm saying you're coming in with your fucking black slacks yeah with a ranch on it oh and just trying to get fucked up that's how it felt going the last day of skank we had a boy in our fraternity house god love him he worked his way through college at a hoagie shop and he would show up to every party kicking like a landlord in the 30s just onion scent all of them still closed though still did well with the lady when i worked at Silvermine's subs delivering sandwiches home with a mile high

son at universe no they would always it was always named after prospector shit so it was called like the Cripple Creek what it's called like it's a very Colorado centric sandwich shop give me the gold rush yeah yes there was I think there was one called the gold rush there's one called like the vein or something

but I had to deliver sandwiches for them the Chinese mine before I started working before the canary And you go, it's laced. I wouldn't eat it. But they, I would deliver sandwiches, but I'd also have to make them. Really?

And then I would get off work and go to parties and be in my silver mine subs. Fucking uni. That's always a conversation you have as you're driving over. It's not that bad, right? Because you're used to it. I'll tell you what's worse. Delivering subs to the hot girl dorm where all the cool kids live. And they're like, what?

Do you go to you away? And you're like, yes. I'm a sophomore. Are you a huge whore for the chance? Can I please fuck you? Because the only reason I'm a delivery driver is that this will work out in some sort of porn thing. I told them when I was in college, I had, so I had financial aid and I had a grant to play football.

Okay. But there was something in either my financial aid or my grant where I had to work for the school. Oh, no. So I would be, first of all, I'd cut class a lot. I'd be out party and stuff like that. And I remember being like hung the fuck over in raking leaves like on main campus in the Zip up. A jumpsuit.

Like a chain bag. Chicks were walking by. Yeah. No one talks about that. Working in college is embarrassing. Because hot girls. Yeah. Yeah.

Because they're not getting hit on, by the way, by rich kids that have to have jobs. These kids are like, Saturday, do you want to go hiking? And I'm like, I have to, uh, I have to open at Silver Mine subs. What does open mean? And then I have to put the fucking big thing on my car, the magnet. Nuh. Yeah. Oh, yeah, on the Dodge Stratis.

Like a cop? Like, punk, the Silver Mine subs, the light. Could you run into your, it plugged into the lighter. That's what I plugged into. You're unplugging at the smoke seat. Oh, yeah. Dude, keep that light on. Dude, they had to do a ride along with me because I was coming back.

A ride along? Because the manager was like, I got to do a ride along with you. You were taking too much time because I would stop. They always, they always, there's no way. 20 minutes and 20, you were dead to rights. They thought I was like going and going to bars and shit. And really, I was just sitting in my. car contemplating suicide you're not running red lights or nothing yelling at you go we need you

back here on Friday nights because we have sandwiches and you go yeah I make three deliveries and then I just sit in a parking lot and I just smoke a cigarette and I go like my gun I go maybe if I don't knock they'll kill me so what's up Arizona you start going through the second floor bedroom window down the back damn you're doing it wrong I go not doing it right I can't work here quitting there was so awesome so the controversy is we get coffees in the morning when we have breakfast also the whole airport breakfast thing which you know we're big airport breakfast guys really every time i have never had a good one yeah we don't get i mean i've never had a good airport breakfast this could get ugly this is airport breakfast i thought we i thought we're gonna have a good day here then

airport breakfast is like um single mom three jobs breakfast where they just throw it down and they go I got a lot going on. You can't expect anything. It's never always right. There's a lot of mistakes. I'll see my, there's no good airport breakfast. I've never had a good airport meal. I've never had a meal at a restaurant where I've gone.

Sure. I get that. Well, we go, the crux of the discussion is the palm at the JFK. We go there and get breakfast. That's too much. That's too much. It's just right. You're paying for the wrong experience.

go to the actual palms. We're going to start vetting these guys. Don't, but you guys are going to play ball. You guys are, no way, no way. That's a flash pass for like one ride where you go, you know, if you're going to do it, go do it with all the rides. Don't do one ride. We're hungry.

Is the steak? I don't mind holding the baby why she takes the order. I don't like it. I don't like it. Listen, I get, we're learning. I'm learning. Don't concede because it's Danny Sox. I'm not.

I'm saying. Hold your ground. Listen. This is probably going to lose in the first round of the playoffs. Yeah. Yeah. Or if Siriani cries to the anthem again.

Oh my God. Oh, I'm sorry. He's a patriot. Yeah. The Rock. It's red cleared, man. They're fucking red. How dare you?

They're the reddest. You don't get choked up on a flyby? I love me a national anthem. But I want to see a stelic. A tense, jawed, clear-eyed coach. I get it.

Not one going. God damn it Who booked this guy Luke cut this killing us As someone's like Super bowling You know

And they're going He's biting And then he was like He was like chippy And then he's like What's up bitch And you're like No no no

You were crying Motherfuck Listen he loves this country We're replacing all this With Purdy's Achilles injury Oh fuck You guys

Oh my God You guys breaking him Hassan Redick Breaking Brock Purdy and then him breaking your guys is then he's never played again I'm gonna go to the Jets never mind it's terrible to say great kid good kid nice guy so your stance is

it's not that we're not gonna get into that with you because you're too smart for us I just I just want to I do you too smart for us you've already kind of won the argument I know and I'm like trying to like I'm trying to do gymnastics to approve my point and still keep my back button and not cry during the national anthem that's what I'm trying to do you look over I'm crying

I'm starting to real I thought we lived in the majority because we're idiots and I thought you get to the air witness and we travel a lot of us we get to the you know as a crew we meet up there we make sure everybody's there on time

and then we grab a breakfast that's what we do and we love it I like that as a crew now you now you've changed things because it's as a crew you're also a different breed you were out there banging solo flying out on Friday morning

to go do the clubs this is what I mean so it's a I'm coming at it from a different expected. You're like, for me to get to the airport early, we're going to a hang, we're having a diner, we're recreating a diner hang when we can. He's going to sneeze.

Danny So. Who sneezes on a podcast? Ah, pieces of shit. Start trying to make fun. Nothing. Yeah. Where's a hat, huh? Can I tell you where I agree with you guys?

I love going airport breakfast comedy festivals. Okay. You got your homies. I get it. Okay. You got your homies. I get it. I remember Jay saying, like, when he, when he was doing the clubs,

that he would bring his PlayStation with him and just sit in a hotel and play PlayStation. And I remember from, like, our experience with, like, four of us. You still do that? I love that. I love that so much. I said he's going to cry. He's crying.

He's crying right now. Post sneezing, you can look, cry. Sneeze in a fight with your girlfriend. It looks like you were having a moment. You go, and you go, I just, I can't what you were saying. But I remember thinking like, damn, that's a fucking soldier. Oh, dude, that's, I'd be scared to fly by myself. Oh, dude, I love it.

With that Luke with me? So we're so codependent. It's insane. It's crazy. We don't go through security without each other. That's crazy. We don't. We wait.

They go, sir, you can't hold hands through the metal detector. Sir. Sir, he's going to see you on the other side. I don't have my belt on, lady. Dude, the one time we tried to go through security separately, he got there before me. He went through. We were just me and him flying somewhere. He went, probably Austin or something.

He went in first, and he's like, I'm just going to go through now. And then I get to security, and she goes, so you're Kevin Ryan. I go, what the fuck does that mean? She goes, there's a gentleman here not that long ago using your boarding pads to get on the plane. I said, was he a bigger guy? She goes, yeah, I go, yeah, I think I know. Crying his eyes out. Where's my Kevin?

I need a co-host. I need my co-host and I need him now. I'm a co-headliner, God damn it. I only got 25 good minutes. Kip, or a frames. Orra, or, or. I wanted to ask you, before we do the ad, I got a last minute gift that I got to, to get for my cousin.

I don't know what to get it. Can I stop you right there? Don't even finish the sentence. What? It's or frames. Our frames. God, what does I think? I should thought of order frames.

Gang, you want to wow people. You get an or frame. You get the aunts. You get the uncles. You get the grandparents. Everybody wants to keep up with what you and the family is doing. The easiest way to do that is a digital frame from order frames. You throw it up on the mantel.

You put it up on the counter in the kitchen, make it nice and cozy. Yes. And they get to keep up what's going on. It's the gift that literally keeps on giving all year round. Yeah, you can preload the photos before it ships, personalize your gift, share photos and videos, effortly, gift box included. Listen, if you've heard this show before, every woman in my family, my mother-in-law, my wife, my wife's got 10 of them.

All the broods. All these broads out there, they get it, and they love it. I would stop giving them if they didn't love it. My sister-in-law, oh, my God, my brother, oh, my God, everyone gets, everyone's getting it. For a limited time, I wish I didn't give them to everybody so I could give them to everybody again. It's that easy. You know what I mean? It's like watching the movies for the first.

Yes. For a limited time, you said, great note. And for a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35, $35 off Orra's best-selling Carver Matt Frames, named number one by Wirecutter by using the promo garbage at checkout. That's A-U-R-A-R-A-Frams. Promocode garbage. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames will sell out fast, which they do. So order yours now in time for the holiday. Support the show by mention us to check out terms and conditions about that. Yes. Kit, what do you know about Rocket Money? Are you the kind of guy that likes to have a bunch of subscriptions that you don't really know about and pay a bunch of money at the end of the month? You probably are, right?

I'm an idiot. Yeah, you're an idiot. I know. That's a discussion off here. Well, you don't have to be an idiot. Get rocket money. They find these subscriptions that you don't want and they cancel it for you. End up saving a bunch of cash.

Then you got a little bit of cash to do yourself a favor. Have a little fun around our holidays. Yeah. Listen, I'm a little... Listen, I messed up. I lost a couple of two tree credit cards. I didn't know that you were being charged monthly. Yes, I had to sign back.

I've recently signed back. I added my new cards to my Rocket Money account, and they were like, oh, idiot, Bing, pal, boom, you're being overcharged for this one, that one. Streaming services, things. I was over in Germany. I signed up to watch some sort of,

to watch a football game. Boom, I got booted. They've been wetting their beak on F for the past three months. Listen. I wonder how much money rocket money saves people every year. I think if you use all the app's features. It's about $740 freaking dollars. Oh.

Oh, take that to the bank or something like that. Take it out of the bank. Take it out. Keep it in the bank. Shut it. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions. It monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills so you can grow all your savings.

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Oh. And I, yes. If it's not us and civilians, brutal. We're operators. Yeah. When I travel, I mean, I'm talking about on the road with like other comics on the show. And now I have like, I get huffy. Yeah.

I go like. How's Sags? Is he an operator? Oh, dude, he moves. I don't even have to worry about him. I'll see you at the gate. No kidding. We'll get on the flight.

He's a good kid. Good guy. And then you do the thing where you go, 515 in the lobby. Because I'm Danny Sunshine. If you're traveling with me, we're on the first flight out. You're all the first flight out in the morning. I'm trying to get out every time. Danny Rooster.

Danny Sunrise. Danny Cockatoo. Danny Sunrise. Danny Sunrise. He's waiting in the lobby with a big glass of cranberry juice. Good morning. My piss is perfect. What took you so long, Sagalo?

But like Sean Murphy and Sagalow were out with me the past couple weeks. Okay. That's a pretty good. That's an eclectic squad you got. I mean, Murphy and Saginalo, I love them both. Couldn't be more different people on paper. But you bring them together. That's the bass player and the drummer.

That's the rhythm section. The experience. That's the dance. The Danny Sunshine Experience. Are you going to cranberry? Oh, a lot of feedback. But we did like, we flew to like Vancouver and that was like first flight out because we had to get across the country. Sure, those flights coming back.

Then we did Vancouver to Eugene Oregon and I was like, oh boy, boys, we leave at five or flight boards at 5.30. That's like 2.30 at the airport. Well, that's Canada. How am I going to get breakfast at early? You're going to eat at 80s like a jerkle. Let me tell you how perfect it was. We fly to Eugene. We get to Eugene at 10.30 in the morning.

Okay. Hotel's not even close to be there. That's the problem with getting there to a tour. But went to a dispensary next to the hotel. About a half ounce, $32. Because in Eugene, they live in the 70s. Me and Sagalow, not Sean, smoke a fat fucking joint. You can just imagine you two just getting fucking wrecked in a parking lot somewhere.

And then walked to a waffled place that I had the best waffles I've had in years. So I got my breakfast at 10.45 in the morning. And then we're done. I'm full. I'm high. Went and took a three-hour nap. Woke up, walked around Eugene, then did the show. I respect that.

He's going to say you said you're done. You still have showed it, though. Early in, though. But early in, you get the whole day. I get that. Because I don't like getting there, then going to the show. I don't like putting my stuff down. You need a little bit.

You need a buffer. Yeah. Need a good buffer. Nice shower, maybe some TV, some first 48, a hand job, something. Yeah. Dude, watch, you jerk off, nap, watch some college football, get ready for it again. Unbelievable. See, you're a weekend.

Dude, we're doing this shit on a Tuesday. You know what's a lonely time? You guys do Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday? We do Tuesday. Then we go to another. town and do Wednesday you go to the town to do Thursday so on a perfect run it'll be like Wednesday Wednesday

Thursday and then or like club with club nights and then the weekends would be theaters I mean we did that around blue colored you around the Pacific Northwest we were fucking bopping and sketched that was crazy that was when I started my tour I take yeah I know I texted you I'm like oh we're in Seattle the first night you're like yep that explains it I was we were both looking at ticket counseling yep for sure

oh god nothing sucks more than seeing someone that you love and you're friends with and you go well we're hurting each other right now. I was like, I was like, we should, and then, dude, the next weekend we went to Boston and Chris E.D. is doing the, and we're like, what the fuck is everybody doing here? First time I- And our agents all talk to each other? First time I ever did Royal Oak Music Hall, which I just did, and it was awesome.

But the first time I did it two years ago, it was, I was fighting to sell tickets. And they went, Tim Dillon's at the Fox doing two shows. And you went, son of a bitch. Tim! We passed Joe List on a Friday at LaGuardia. We were coming home at LaGuardia. Yeah, like, our run was over on Friday. And he was leaving.

And we go, well, you coming or going? He's like, I'm going. You two are the only idiots coming back on a Friday. That's great. I got my whole weekend. But how great is it when you do? The youth suckers are out there. There's something.

We just did a Saturday, and there is something nice. It feels like a half day of school where you go, I'm flying in and I'm coming back. Yeah. And that's it. Sure. Well, dude, the thing about the weekends is, or during the week, it's like, you're not going up against anybody. You're at the club. It's fucking, you know, string together a great door deal, string together a couple of nights.

You're talking to me in the weekday shows. This is how we explain it to ourselves. It's great. Who wants to be in a place for two days? There's a lot of traveling. The eggs are better in the airport. But this tour, we're going to be doing some weekends. 2026.

We're doing club weekends. That's fun. It was just fun. We've never done it. Yeah, that would be fun as hell. Yeah. We're excited. We're excited.

Anyway, back to our original. Try to distract me. Our original argument. How do you feel about a Diet Coke for breakfast at a diner? Totally fine with it. Absolutely. Or you could sub Sprite. Perfect.

Sprite. Send that over to Stavi and Elvis. Yeah, but he, I mean, I feel like he's like, he knows what he's doing. Do you know how, like, old school NFL guys hated celebrations in the end zone? And then they just got over it. That's what that is for Stavi. He's old school diner. He's like, you need juice.

You need coffee. And you go, no, I love a soda. A Diet Coke? I'm a Sprite guy. Stavvy's old school. Full-blown Sprite? I'll go if I get like a breakfast burrito Give me a Sprite

I'll even go fucking Coke heavy Gentleman's move A C-H Stavi's old school he likes to Remember the little mini orange juice tape I hate them? I hate that I hate it that's a shot In like a yellow tinted glass

Fuck that I need a big guy When I go to a diner I usually get Breakfast with Becky Owen on Tuesdays This is what we do Do you guys talk about codependent I mean you want to talk about You both read the paper

Do you guys talk? We just breathe heavy through our nose and he I've been at like two or three weddings of Vecchio and he treats us like he's our stepfather I love it he sits down and he goes how you guys doing everything good we're like yeah everything's going great he's like I called I called him at a coffee bar one time in a wedding dude we're both in suits and he hit me he's like staring like non-dairy creamer I don't even know where he got he's like staring he's like having a good time I'm like I am mr. Vecione I and we're like friends but like in these weird situations where we cross paths the power dynamic

is so shifted still doing that podcast yeah yeah yeah That looks good. That's good for you guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I like that. I run it by Danny on Tuesday when I see him. Tell H. Foley, I said hi. You guys give breakfast every Tuesday. That's awesome.

The past couple months it hasn't been consistent. Well, you can't go out there in a week then. We're usually consistent. And I've said that now we have so much gray in our hair. We just look like we run a high profile security firm. He's just slide over a manila folder. It just looks like the two of us are going like, all right. Well, I'm not going back to Guam.

but I could send a team. Do we want to look at security? Got the kid's birthday. Yeah. Like that scene with Roland and the guy from Boardwock Empire and Sakario 2 when he's getting the... That's so great. That's how we feel when we're at diners. You're not going to Ukraine, are you?

I got Russians on the payroll, brother. Don't do that to me. I love that scene. I need a tissue because I'm fucking... Yeah. So, after that sneeze, my bug popped out. I had to go check the tunnels. Quality bug.

I didn't see it. You ever been on stage and had a boog pop out? Yeah. Because you laugh and you can feel it pop. I don't think so. And then you have to do the throwaway. You got to hope you got enough velocity that get it off the hand. It is.

But what I was saying while you're in the bathroom, the subject I want to bring up about bugs. Hard-hitted stuff. Swim-boogs. Oh, my God. Do you get swim boogs? Of course. Not that bad. Not as bad as.

So some of us get it worse than others. I get caterpillar slimers. Whether you're having a conversation with a kid and it's just hanging? Oh, that's the worst. What I do is when I dive into a water, I go, and I breathe out all my nose because back in the day when I didn't, I would come up and it would all, like, be across your face. So I'm usually good at clearing out the sinuses under the water. Take care of it early. And then I go over my face.

And then I pop up. I think we're all going to go to the woods afterwards and drink. You got a fucking slimer hanging out? Big Jay moved into a place with a pool. And this summer, Katie and I are swimming at his place. And I told her, I go, I get it. ancient bugs. These are bugs from like three years ago that are up here. Slugs. That slugs that pop out in the water. Just come fucking. A couple of night crawlers.

So I'm talking and I'm on the side of the pool and I'm like pulling this joint out of the package or whatever. And I'm like and I'm away from it's like a bunch of people are there. And Katie goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She goes, don't turn towards everybody. And she goes, no, no, look at me. Look at me. And I go, what? She goes, you have a poker coming across your face across your face is wild and i went like that and i felt it i was like oh no it was like full side of the like side of the car i came out of the pool and it was just stuck and you're just sitting there like anybody want to get high i go i go yeah i don't know i'm down to do like burgers and dogs and it's just you turn around to do a sentimental toast yeah i'm

to tell you guys i love you i love congratulations on the purchase jay i love this place i've done I've had it so many times, and it's swimming. If I go into the water. I don't have it, yeah. And the shower. I'll get it bad. I get it bad. Shower, I let it all go.

Of course. Yeah. I fight to get it out. I go, farmer blow. I do a lot of farmer blows. A girl taught me one time. She said her dad when he's in the shower. I don't use your thief so much.

And I still live by that today. Made me a lot of money. Her dad in the shower takes a little bit of water in his hand and does like a half snort. like a netty pot blast it out i might try that yeah i'm not gonna lie you do a netty pot uh no i've never done it fuck you up i think you can go bad i've done it before you can get like infections yeah if you got to use distilled water yeah but i still have you ever done it cranberries no i don't i don't that's so funny i say it's working it's cold but it's working this isn't the room temperature like i normally like i ask for but you do it and it feels when you

feel it goes yeah it's crazy you know what other good what are real good bugs they were introduced to me as drywall boogies. Oh, the best. Like the dust, it takes a couple hours to get in there, and then it matures, and by the end of that day, hachi-machi, gang. Let's get to the real bug talk. Okay.

Which is when you knock down a wall. Yeah. And you're sleeping in a hotel, and you feel it dried up, and then you take the whole thing out, and then that first breath, that first breath. It's like myel-a-stadium.

Yeah. When you put it in, you go, oh, that's so sad. And then you fall back asleep. Because you go, I'm breathing better than it. He got more oxygen, ain't? Ever. You're running high.

God damn. How do you feel? Okay. You got a diner? Yeah. And they put the coffee pot on the day. I don't need that much responsibility. Whoa.

Are you kidding me? I don't want it. I don't want it. Who put you up to this? I don't want it. Who put you up to this? I don't. Now I feel an obligation to drink at a faster ring.

At a faster rate, but I don't want that. Not the regular pot. It's a furnace pot. If we get lost and if we get lost in conversation, can I get you another coffee? That check-in, I like. I like the check-in of the waiter. The waiter going like, oh, more coffee and you go, you know what? And I also know who's a good waiter then.

Coming through, oh, that's a good coffee. It's not swaying me. I like a pot, but that's not a bad taste. But this is like Korean barbecue. Motherfucker, I ain't going to, I ain't here to grill it. You grill it. I'm going to make myself sick. I like grilling it.

I don't like it. I'm not working a habachi. Let me flip the shrimp into your mouth. Like, you just sit down at a grill? Fuck this. Grill it for me. I'm paying you money. Grill it for me.

They're waving the flag on them. I'm like, I don't want this. They're like, and they just put raw meat on. They go, there you go. You figure it out. That's not bad. I mean, I was very confused the first time I went. I like using the scissors to cut it up.

I don't like that. Where are these scissors been? Were they opening an Amazon boxes? What do they use it? No, man. Somebody got to him. I go, if I go to a restaurant, I'm not trying to work. Sure.

Pour my coffee. What about hot pot? I don't like hot pot. I don't like hot pot. Hey, jerk off where you listen? I don't like cooking my own shit. Okay, you know what, though? Let me tell you right now.

I have done hot pot. It's fun. It's so good. Yeah. It can be so good. Especially if you have someone maestroing, where they go, why don't you bring in the other meat? Okay.

And while we're bringing the vegetables, a little more from the vegetables. My-down the meat. Oh, I love it. All right, hot pot, I'm on board. Okay. It's bad. We got them. Korean barbecue still fuck off.

My brother-in-law taught me that at the end of the hot pot, you save a little room and you say, let me do something of them ramen noodles. You throw the noodles in there, all the flavor. What? What? Just absorbed. Okay, you whispered that. Hey, guy gets some ramen noodles.

And they go. What? Are you out of your fucking mind? Who told you that? That's what you are. Oh, your cousin did? Steve is your cousin? I don't know rules.

Like whenever I go to a restaurant where I don't speak, like, even if you go to. I'm going to say you don't speak the language. But I'm serious. If you go to like a good, like there's a great Mexican restaurant in Tucson called Rosas. And English isn't the first language spoke there. They just go, we're so good. We don't have to speak. Yeah, which I respect.

And then I go, I kind of need this done. And that's where you feel like very white. Hello. Hi. I don't want. No frioles, no beans. No caliente. Shut the fuck up.

So that's why, I don't know. There is, it is a weird dance. Coffee pot on the table. Did you go swimming today? The boogers across your face. I just can't do the pot of coffee makes me feel anxious like I need to drink work on. I get that. That sounds like a you problem, though.

It might be. It might be. But if I go to the diner, why don't you refresh? it and they go refresh your coffee you're thinking about me as a former server you have me there it's a great point yeah you just go all right it is a nice break in the conversation it's a nice it's a check point yeah it's like a nice yeah can i get some ranch for this yeah oh yeah it's good rhythm yeah i never got my cranberry oh is there ever a situation where uh what is your do you drink a black or you put a little cream in little cream so do you like to get it all the way down

Will you take a top? When do you take a to topper? I want to kill it. You want to kill it. And then I need you to refill it. Really? If I got a half, don't because now we're getting into the mathematics of the half and half. I know standard size diner mug, two half and halves, two little creamers.

Double up on that. And then I'm good. Gotcha. That makes sense. And then I let it go all the way down. And then no, hold on. Can I ask you this? Do you remember how your dad took his coffee?

Black. He took it black. With a marborette. With rumplements. I mean, I'm not joking. Probably vodka. But because I've morphed into my, the way my, and I never, my dad when I was a kid, coffee, splash you half and half.

And in my head, I'm like, I would never. And now that's how I prefer it. Did you like it with cream and sugar? Of course. Yeah, because you're a fat kid. Yeah. Coffee ice cream. Can I tell you around the holidays, I go back to cream and sugar?

Yeah. I had one this morning, a Dunkin' Donuts, three creams, two sugars. What size is that? Medium. Okay. Holy shit. Phenomeny. That's like a jolt cola.

It was great, though. I was fist fighting my therapist. I came in like I was on meth. Dude, I used to wait. I don't know I talk about you being such a pussy. I've got a few things. I'm only talking about you being a pussy. You want to judge me about my dad?

Fight me, you old Jew? Is it Alan? Yeah. He's like, all right. Good. I'll fight you. You're a pussy. He called me a pussy when I wouldn't quit drinking.

It's awesome. Straight shooter. I love it. He's like, you're a fight. fucking pussy, and you go, I love you. You give him a hug. You're my new dad. You're my new dad.

You're my new dad. But yeah, around Christmas, I go back to sodas. Because you want to talk about growing up. And you take the coffee like your dad. I thought people that drank seltzers were out of their fucking 100%.

I just got on these. I just got on them. I was like, what you're just like bubbly water? You fucking weirdo? That's a mixer. I love seltzers. Well, that's the way I look at cranberry juice. To me and my family, that was only a mixer.

It was in the house at all times because it was half full from the Christmas party or whatever. A vodka of cranberry. That was the only time I've ever seen anybody drink cranberry juice. I love seltzers now. Yeah. I go through fucking five a day. Our boy calls them work beers. They're work beers.

And they feel like it. Do you feel? You open it and you go, it's cold. It's a can. I'm drinking it. When I was on the heaters, I'd crack one, go out. It was like, you step outside. You're like, I'm outside of the bar right now.

Crush. A little meat time. We're going on our road trip tomorrow. So I got to do some heavy. Where are you going? We drive Chicago. Jesus, you're yelling at him. I got excited.

Where are you going? We got to come. We're talking Sigs, road trips, and fucking work beers. So it's Sigs. It's Sigs on the drive when you're young. Uh-huh. Right? Good song Sigs were my favorite Sigs.

Good song comes on. You and your boy. Shout out Pat. You lowered that window. Big fan of yours, by the way. Put on yellow Lent Better and light up a heater. I'll tell you. And traffic Sigs.

Good song, Sigs, traffic. Nothing's better than that. But when you get off Sigs, and you can't smoke, what I do is I get a low THC weed. I get about a 17% THC weed. Dad weed.

Shit where you can get stuff d'ards. And I have a bat and dugout. That's dad shit. And I dip it in and I get one bat, but I hold it like a cigarette for a while. Because then you get the lighting, the pole, you get the same experience. Then you tap it out, put it back away. You feel like

I don't smoke a cigarette. Yeah, yeah. Is it wood? Is your dog? Oh, my God. Is it like the standard? If I Googled Doug out, it would. Yeah, I didn't bring it. You know what's funny?

I live so close to you guys that I didn't bring it because I went, I just hit my bowl. And I was like, well, I'll leave the one-hander. I only have the one-a-or I'm going out and about. I was walking the dog. I was expecting you to be out front. What's up, dude? That's what I was expecting out front? Kit, what do you know about Hexclad?

Shout out the Hexclad. You got a set? Because I got a set. Listen, I'm a bozo. I bought them two weeks before they became a sponsor. I could have got a freebie set. But that's how good they are. I don't care.

I bought them. They're the best thing I've ever invested in my home. Very true, gang. Let's be real. The holiday season is here and whether you like it or not. The kitchen is where it all goes down.

Some say the bedroom. But for this purpose, it's the kitchen. You got big roast. You got game day fees. Endless sides. I love that. Endless sides. And all those holiday desserts.

And if your current pans panic at high heat, I love that. That's what pans do they panic. And I eat, start freaking out. Burn the gravy. Oh, you get. Burn the gravy? Take your presents back.

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Peace. Dude, I was trying to say, I used to do an extra large extra extra extra extra was my order when I was working construction. Extra Extra Extra is the extra cream, extra sugar. Yeah, go extra large extra extra extra. Boston, they used to, Katie's telling me growing up and Duncan, you go, let me get a regular. That comes cream and sugar. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because that's shit. Get it regular. It's so good. But then, just like shelters. So that's like, so what the reason I brought up shelters is around, we call it sugar season. Post. Who's we? Me and Katie.

I'll tell you, you guys in the Almanac. You guys, we're coming up on a good sugar. This is my bowling team. Me and three select GI Jews. But post- Thanksgiving to New Year's, sodas and coffee with cream and sugar are back on the menu. I like it. That's a good time.

And then I come back to Seltzer's January 1st. And then I know. And then I know. And then I know from January all the way to November, no sodas. Locked in. Unless I'm really, unless I'm celebrating something, I go, let me get a soda. This is nuts.

Hence, the cranberry. It really is. I was on Bert's tour, and I was like, it's my birthday. I'm getting a Dr. Pepper. You're telling everybody, too. Guys, Dr. Pepper tonight. I showed Big Jay, and Big Jay was like, okay. I was like, this is my second Dr. Pepper.

But the thing is, Bert takes such good care you. Yeah. That he has the crazy flavors of diet, Dr. Pepper. Oh, he's got zeros. Yeah, Zorro. Bert has a strawberry cream, zero sugar. That's fantastic. Let me tell you what.

Burt Chrysher introduced me to you. that I love. Diet and W. Whoa. Yes. I was grabbing those on the road with them like. Those are sweet. Nobody's better.

He's the best. He's the best. Great hang. That tour bus hang. Me, him and Jay would just watch like YouTube videos on his fucking sick ass bus. I say it all the time. Some of the best night sleeps I've ever gotten on my life

was the first time we went on tour with him. Before he got the new bus where he slept in the back, he was me and him. We were in the bumps. He was a bunk next to me. And for some reason, it was like having your dad, your uncle. Oh, that's fun. Your favorite guy in the world sleeping next to you.

Oh, that's great. You got the fucking bulldog sleeping next to you. Yeah, I mean, dude, I couldn't sleep. You're older than it. Yeah, that's really funny. I'm like, how you're sleeping with a grown man? He's very fatherly. I slept like a baby.

I couldn't sleep on the bus because I could hear the tread of the road. Yeah. I like, I like it. Well, I told Bert, he was like, you didn't sleep. And I was like, I looked too much like, And we heard everybody yelling. And that's how he died. Yeah, exactly.

We heard everybody screaming. Except Cliff. Isn't that trapped under ice about him dying? Yeah. But I was like, man, I ain't dying. I ain't dying on a tour bus. That's the thing when you get on a tour bus. You go like this could, this is how, this is, this could, you have to resort to like, we could go like this.

But it was so funny is the bus would stop at the venue. I'd immediately fall asleep. the second the bus would like pull into the arena parking lot and like park I'd go down with the brakes yeah the second I'd hear that out deep in that little coop in that little yeah it's nice I feel like I was sleeping in the millennium falcon I always say that that's fun that is really fun that's why I think about that when I go to sleep

and bird does snore like chewy so do we so it's all good are you guys all are you guys both snores now that I'm now that I'm down I'm my snoring's like negligible but you guys go on the road together you should share hotels. No. You don't? No, in the early days. Yeah.

Not since YG. We made it, when we even really couldn't afford it. Yeah. We made it a thing of like, well, we stated a lot of cheap Airbnbs to make Tommy We'd make Tommy Cassidy and Luke share a bed. Yeah, or people crash on the couch that way, but like we would, it was, I, uh, we're staying at the shitty, we pride ourselves on shitty hotel. When I would first start taking people with me on the road, I wasn't making any money.

Yeah, you have to. get hotels from the club, and we would just split a room. Yeah. So I know all of your favorite comedians snore. Tim Dillon? I think I have video. All the good ones. I have a video on my phone, I think, of Tim Dillon snoring.

It's not like him asleep. It's just a room, and it's me being like. And I found it recently. I was like, dude, he is sawing. Like, Shane snores. Yeah. It was just like everywhere, you go on the road and you go, you got to tell me, because it is so. I'm so.

You hear him through the walls. You're worse than him. When I'm heavy and drunk and on heaters, it's a big. What does your wife do? She doesn't love it. No? Yeah. I mean, I shared a room at a wedding.

I'm on the couch a lot. That's out of respect, though. Because then I don't get it. If we're sleeping together, I don't get a good enough because I'm conscious of it. I'm going, I'm sorry. You're insecure. Yeah, and I'm like, I'm insecure about it. So I go, listen, babe, I had a couple beers.

I'm crashing a cat. Yeah. I did a, my friend got married in North Carolina and we were too late to get hotels. This is like seven years ago. so I get a hotel and me and my friend Carlos is like I'll split the hotel with you I'm like great he's like because he couldn't get a room either so we're splitting this hotel room nice a loft hotel he does not tell me that he snores you got that's got to come with a caveat heads up I snore yeah I did not sleep that night that's because he snored so hard and then I had to

fly North Carolina and San Francisco and I was like so mad at him that next they'll hear me through the wall at the Airbnb really it's that bad it's like comical yeah It sounds like you go like, woo-woo-woo-bo-bo-bo-bo on the back. No, no, don't. Shut up, you. Why, y'-a-a-a-a-ha-bunk when you hit him. When you guys were a kid, I feel like this is somewhat of a right of passage, whether it's a dad and uncle, but did you ever as a little kid stand there and watch an adult man sleeping and snoring? Let me tell you right now, and this is just further proof that I'm garbage.

Uh-huh. When I used to go stay with my dad, when he lived in Marin. Enough said. When he, when I would, yeah. But my dad lived with my grandma, right? Double down. In Greenbrae in California and Marin County near the hospital. Nice apartment.

That's so tragic. Near the hospital. Well, because you say Marin County and everyone goes like, oh, you had money. And you go, go off Sir Francis Drake. Go up to the hospital. It's all apartments. It's like where everyone lives that works in Marin County. But my dad and I had to split a pull-out.

sofa and he was he's an alcoholic he'd get blackout fall asleep I'm in my dick Tracy pajamas this motherfucker would be snoring to the point that I thought I learned how to fall asleep in between the moments where you go and then you hear I go stop and you go and start again and you're like I've got it drive you insane dude it's you have to be around your dad when he snores dude i snored it as a kid so like what yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i didn't know that that's insane were you a little eight year old and you i got to let out for christmas i knew you had rubber sheets you told me about that whoa yeah didn't they tie you down too at one point as a baby yeah what what do you mean what i was i was a

preemie um kevin's a werewolf you didn't know that she's just like oh it's full moon Get the rope. Get the silver bullets, ready. That's why I don't like Coors Light. He's our boy. Well, he's got to stay out back. Or we're going to die. That's so funny.

You drink Coors Light, you die. There's chicken feathers all over you. They call this thing the Silver Bullets for real. I don't know. It's out of a Keg. I don't know. I'm like, what the hell? It's his Coors Light.

You need to tell me if this is Goers Light. I'm a butt light man. I'm a fucking my part of Wolf. I'm a garage beers, man. Everybody knows that. Shout out to him. Um. I was.

I believe I was premature, so I was a candidate for SIDS, so I had to sleep on like a inclined board, like upside down or something that my uncle then built in my crib. To quote Danny DeVito and always sunny, science was cruel. Back then the science was cruel. Yeah, my mom was like, we did, because I was sorry, I just had a kid, so we were talking. I was talking my mom about it.

She's like, they just gave us like a kit, and like we called Uncle Den to put it together. What do you want us to do that's how we solved hiccups, was shot. to the chest she gets she gets I gotta reset your diaphragm I'm gonna fucking hit you in your lungs it was a sin that's it was a sin

oh my god so then you're shout out to Denise so you're a preemie but then you grow out of it and you're just snoring out of that like adenoid one over

I was fat kid okay fat kid I think my adenoids were small or big or whatever one was problematic it's all those extra extras it really is crazy that you lose wait and you go I don't do that thing anymore yeah you're on sleep apnea machine now no are you are yeah is it work it does not I've gotten I've gotten I've gotten I tried it and that's always the

response I have like sleep apnea but I tried the machine and every time I was like it just it does but I I'm very bad it's for it's hard to get the parts and it's that's where the money is yeah they really that's the biggest that's the biggest dirt bag thing that's how they get you mine has electrical tape and I've taken a headband and made my own mask. And it works better. No. I got...

He's spelled the rocket chip. I got mine during COVID and I had a beard or whatever and they were like, oh, you can't come in. But to fit the mask, we have this app and it's just like a photo app and they're like, you're like, you're size small. And I was like, I've never heard that ever about my head size. So they sent me a small mask and it just like was like my mouth and my nose. And I was like, well, this has got to be wrong. And I went into the doctor and the doctor was like, you need an extra large mask.

And you're like, well, your stupid little fucking app. So I almost gave up on him after that. I was like, these people, this is all fake science. Coffee, two cream, two sugars. Two cream. I'm back on sugar, baby. Staying up all night. All right, let's get to one or two questions here.

We got freaking Danny Sowe's. We got to run some stuff by him. This has been a very beverage-heavy discuss. Love beds. I would say. All right, let's see. This was from Reese, first time, long time. You've established milk with dinner.

is trash very much so i can't recall did you grow up doing milk with yes and i still do it's the best and fuck you uh huh uh that's trash that being that being said uh we've established milk with dinner is trash what about eggnog with dinner i saw my childhood friend eat ravioli with red sauce with a pine glass of eggnog and he did the bite and sip that is that's chaotic dude that is that's wild that's a person that either doesn't have taste buds or is looking to die Oh God That's like what

How fucked up Does your fridge Situation have to be Where that's how you end I would assume That's out of desperate That's all there is Like there's only

That's the only That's the only reason That's acceptable That's what I'm saying I would assume I don't know that There's That's like milk with oysters

That's like a fear factor thing Yeah I like Do you like a knob? Milk with Milk with oysters is disgusting Do you like a nog though Not since I quit drinking

No Well you don't have that booze in it What's the point of fucking doing Oh I like it But as a dessert You like a dessert You like a thick drink I like a thick sugary drink but that is okay as a dessert you know what

here's the deal if we're at Christmas we're at the Christmas party and I'm eating cookie and I got a little thing a cold nog great okay okay a couple sips I don't do a lot of nog I'm not crazy but a meal portion that's crazy a pint glass that person needs to be tracked by the government some of the first booze I ever had was August was a bottle of fucking eggnog. My mom used to put so much whiskey in her eggnog that you're drinking and you're like, I want to fight somebody.

This is giving me the reverse of Christmas spirit. What kind of bottom, what kind of bottom? Oh my God. Her Jameson eggnog was just Jameson. Some eggnog. Yeah.

With cream. It was just Jameson with cream. That is, that's disgusting. That's next level. Stop being friends with them. Yeah, let's say you can't be doing that. All right, let's see. That's not.

I do love a ravioli. I love a ravioli, but I need a ravioli. I need a... Cranberry juice or something. Cramberry juice. What are you doing with dinner? Like, what's the beverage? Seltzer.

I love a seltzer. I love a cranberry lime waterloo. You like the waterloo? I don't like that. Cranberry lime, waterloo is elite. Cranberry lime waterloo is the number one seltzer. Do you like the spin drives? It's, no.

Really? Because it's like shit or get off the pot. I like them. Give me the flavor. Yeah, it's hit. It's half-kepping. You want a little. bit of lime you go bitch take it off

it's like it has a little juice in it no it doesn't can we can we can we separate two things here two things together are gross things separately are delicious let's talk about the ravioli just for one second sure I got time it's really been um

co-opted no it's just let go run a muck no it's just not appreciated anymore and it really should be raviol a good raviol a straight ravioli I'm not talking about the big pumpkin ravioli that you get. Yeah, I know what you're talking.

You know what you're talking with the sage butter. Give me a couple wet little fucking pockets full of meat and some red sauce. Can I give my specific take on why I think they've fallen off for me? Fall apart in the freezer. They do that. I think it's like a very intro, like very low level. It's like the chicken tender of fucking Italian food. So you're like, it's all kids.

You're like, oh, you eat it as kids and the young teens. And then you're like, oh, I can do the eggplant parm. I can do the lasagna. I can do this, I can do that. And it just pales in comparison. You're right. The best stuffing, the lobster, I've done it all. It just pales in comparison to anything else.

Ravioli is a Tostino's hot pocket that has both its parents. Yes. Whoa. That Danny Soder is good. Hot Tosinos, because you get the same thing. You want to bite into it. You want to feel it. Ravioli is it classy.

Delicious. Oh, my God. You took a layer of pasta, threw some meat on it. And he said, well, I put another layer on you. And I pressed you with a little fork. I like the cheese I like a cheese I like a lobster I like a meat filled ravioli

can do no wrong unless you throw some egg knock and then I go I don't eat that hell I would this is crazy for me to say because I never say this I'd rather do water with dinner oh yeah no I mean I'd rather not eat I could not wrap my head around that as a kid my head cousin water

with dinner was like are you in from the cold I still have a problem with it I do too I got mad at Sean Murphy we were somewhere and I was like what do you want he's like water I was like what's That's somewhat a little flavor. You get the food smell in the glass, and it has like, that gets that fishy smell. I just, I need you to do something. I know.

I need, I need, it's more of a physical feeling. Yeah, I need, I need, you got to change the mouth. Water, I'm not giving my testament in court, like. Help me. Oh, your honor. I agree. I'm not a, yeah, no, no, no, I need you to do something. I'm going to tell you guys something, I don't know if you're going to believe me,

but this is kind of the next logical step for the raviola. which I swear to God I've never had I don't know how I missed it I had a I swear to God I had it for the first time over Thanksgiving the day after Thanksgiving for my Uncle Joe Santoro's memorial shout out to Uncle Joe shout out gone but not forgotten fantastic man great man had a nice memorial for him stuff shells love them love them I'm fully I'm gonna run through the wall let me tell you what my mom made better than anybody stuffed shells or a stuffed man of cotton Ooh. Get the fuck out of here. Love that. With a homemade sauce? Uh-huh. Mom was doing homemade sauce?

You know what? God love her. When I'm getting that other room. Working her ass off. Working her ass off ain't doing a homemade sauce. When we leave the room and I go back in there, I get my cell phone. I'm texting my mom. I want stuffed shelves when we're in Colorado.

There you go. Let her know. Make sure to cranberry juice. Put her on blade. She knows about cranberry juice. Shit. She's not crazy. Someone just bought her new HVAC unit in 2025.

She's going to remember to get the buck. Wait, didn't you buy her something a few years ago, too? I'll buy her everything, baby. When you don't have kids, you take care of your mom. Do you go carry your unit? What did you do, train? We got a big one for the townhouse. Very nice.

It was very nice. You bought her a water heater, I think. Yeah, a couple times. I got her a water heater. I got that whole house outfit. It's so fun. I got everything top the bottom, baby. It's so fun for me and him where there's a line blurred between the stuff that we know about you

from when we became friends to that when we were open micers listening to you guys on like your guys' pod or Tuesdays with stories when everybody's talking about each other you know what I mean? I think I knew about that water heater

from why... That was like one of the first baller things I ever got to do. Yeah, from, you know what dude? Yeah, there's an anxiety. Man, that's a blue collar guy. One of the first baller things you were able to do

is via a water heater. I mean, if you're... I'm just saying. But no rapper has ever said that. I mean, yeah, they get him... The first baller thing I did. What did say? don't you got to buy your mom a Mercedes that made out of fur?

But I, to me, the most baller move was I bought a satchional couch because we had a broken couch in our apartment. And then I got guy code. Shout out to it. And I was like, you guys couldn't have been to us. You guys could not have been more famous. We saw your movie stars. I mean, like, genuinely, we're like, you got 100,000 Twitter followers.

These guys are all over to play. It's so funny now because, like, coming down to Philly and, like, I was obviously like a little brother to Big J and Vecione and DeRosa and all them. And then like watching you guys and Shane and like Tommy and Chris and all them blow up. And you go like, this is awesome. Yeah, it's cool. This is awesome. We tried to make our own guy code.

What was it called? Hashtag. The hash out. The hash out. So bad. So funny. Yeah. Where these talking heads were all the rage.

It was. We made our own. What's funny is I auditioned for guys. I standby. It was not bad for as stupid as we were. Season one guy caught, they were like, we have zero interest. And then someone bailed. And I wasn't the stepdad.

I was the dad that stepped up. By season three, I was like, yeah, I did season four and five, I think. But I got that MTV check. And I was like, I might get a couch. I remember, dude, I moved up here. He was up here six months before me. And I met him. It was like the first day.

I met him on the corner. I don't know, somewhere. And he's sitting there. He's like fucking crushing a Singh. Like, already like nervous guy energy as I walk up. And I'm like, all right. So, like, what's the first move? You know, we got to go sign up at an open mic?

Do we go hang out at a club? He goes, you know anybody that works on MTV? We're trying to get on Guy Code guy. That's so fucking funny. I was like, okay, Henry. It was funny as Guy Code happened, and then Girl Code exploded. Exploded. Because they put it on regular MTV.

Guy Code was on the deuce. We were on the deuce the whole time, and the Girl Code went on the fucking main line. Good night. Good night. I knew a lot of boys on Guy Code. They got broken up by their girlfriends on. girl code. I can name three off the top of my head.

Easy does it. This is in page six. Immediately those relationships went down the drain. Oh, we all watch from afar, too. We're like, let's go in one way or the other. Tough look. God love you, boys.

All right, I got one more for you. This is John with no H. What's the most dangerous thing you ever bought at a flea market? That's a great question, dude. I don't know how that's never been asked. A sword or a knife. So most of the things that I buy it

I like an old knife Very cool I like an old I think I've bought In a couple old knives At flea markets When I used to go So my stepdad

And mom When I was a kid Were obsessed with the mile high Flea Market Okay Is it big or small? Huge There's nothing like a city

That has a great Huge Mile high flea market The logo ruled The logo was real cool It was a flea Andy Warhol did it It's very

It showed full nudity, full frontal nudity. No, but the mile-high flea market, we would go every Saturday. Oh, great logo. Great. The little guy? There he is. Yeah. Oh, that's sick.

He's a flea and a checkered shirt with a pair overalls. It's like Johnny Chimpo. Look at this guy. So we used to go. Open all year round. Dude, and it was, we'd go all year round. We do weekends. Saturday.

We're going. Saturday morning you go. I mean, now they got like, they'd have a little place of town, but you would go and just walk around in the amount of swords and knives and nine. Crazy. Is that still happened? Unregulated. Unregulated.

And the amount of porn that I could just find my way to it. Yeah. Where I'd be like, well, I'll look at it. And the guy's like, hey, yeah, yeah. And my mom and stepdad were always like, I was maybe like nine. They're like, all right, just trying to find us. Yeah. There wasn't like.

Yeah. Just go. Because I would go looking for action figures, like old action figures that you'd buy for cheap, which plenty. Yeah. It was great. Flea markets fucking rule. I love, I grew up going to them. I fucking loved them.

I love like the as a whatever like moment in time because I'm sure you can kind of with the internet you can kind of get whatever you want at any point but there was things you could only get at the fucking flea market and you couldn't get to like so it was like hey next month where ours was called Rises it's like next month we're going to Rises and you're like what do I need yes you're like hey you're telling your boy it was Amazon before Amazon it was like everything from Amazon was used

and slightly broken yes and illegal I remember being like I want to I was like in middle school and I was like we were walking by a place and there was a heavyweight bag and my stepdad was like I could chain that up in the basement and I was like we get a heavyweight bag and he's like fuck yeah it's like no rules and then it just rocks to the house you're like good don't and you can just upstairs here being like wow wow that's the most that shit I ever heard I could chain that up in the basement yeah and he did dude he bought my stepdad was the man shout out nick cots he um I hope you I hope you're safe I haven't talked to until I was 14, but he's the main. He's like 82 now. He bought us a pool table because it was cheap. Love that. And he was like, that thing's made out of slate.

And my mom and him were like, well, that means it's good. But then we had to get it in the basement. So heavy. And we had an unfinished basement. So if you wanted to play pool at my house, there was no room and it just smelled like catfish. But flea market, all from the mile high flea market. Two things. One, side note, I used to prefer sometimes getting an action, an older action.

figure especially a GI Joe because they were they were loose yes and they would be they would do dead better yes they would do like a crash better yes they would have you had a guy with a loose neck he always got it first he's died he's the first one through the door lump over yeah oh my god the the look of or you go I tossed them yeah it looks if it's tank blew up that's how he would look yeah it's like you're directing a move oh man finding action figures also finding because like you said you can find everything on the internet there would be there was this show in the 90s called cops C-O-P-S stop yeah it's on to be okay yeah yeah those action

figures awesome were the best dudes the guns came out of his chest yeah there was the guns came out of the chest but also the articulation they were big GI Joe yes so they were made exactly like GI Joe's but the articulation so I remember being at the mile high flea market and coming up on a blanket on the ground with all the cops figures and I went how much and the lady was like five bucks and you're like and that ride back I was like Heath Ledger

and Dark Night and my head out the window I was like Dude I that was to this day Great pull when you say Flea Market I go I remember the greatest day of my fleet the cops I found all the cop stores I had like one or two But I found like the guy with the blonde hair flat top

I found the black The black cowboy with the jack that you couldn't find I didn't need their weapons that show ruled showed ruled and those fucking action figures yes were some of the best I remember a specific feeling of I bought a blow dart gun great right like with like spiked like they're like that's pretty dangerous very dangerous I was I don't know eight yeah like that like we went my mom and my sister walked around me my boy Matt ran around we were like we're going to find the guy that sells the weapons and he's like I got always

there's multiple guys yeah and he's like I got these And I was like, oh, I'm getting a fuck. I had like a $20 bill. I'm like, I'm getting a fucking blow dark gun. And I didn't have enough money. It was like $28. And he's like, I'll do it for $20. Gave him the 20.

And I remember walking back to the car and my mom. Not knowing. Not knowing. I'm like, I can't hide this. I thought it was a baton. I was just like, this is going to be a big conversation, but I'm showing up with a fucking blow dark gun. And how did it go?

She was all right. Really? She didn't fucking care. She's like, be careful. Dude, then at one point we'd all stand back to back. There'd be like six of us. And you'd go up in the air and shoot it up in the air and play chicken. The last person to ran, people would catch it in the shoulder.

It's bad. It's how Ralph Superetto's kid got hurt. Oh, yeah. Ralphie. Oh, yeah. Dude, that's. I was doing it back when I was banging, baby. Dude, when we, I got a, I remember I bought a BB gun that looked like a gun and it was a CO2 one.

Those were dangerous. The first time I shot it into the fence. I went, well, we're not playing with that. Like, even my, I was a teenager, I was like, that's. I put the CO2 thing in, and then when you twist it, and you hear it break, and then I had the clip on top, and I went, I had that same one. And I was like, that's, it was like, it was like, I walked up and it was lodged in the fence and around it yourself. Yeah, I'm not doing that. That was a difference.

Two weeks would pay. I knew which friends not to let know. Oh, for sure. You're like, dude, we talk about this a lot of, like, to know, to make that decision of like, you're not a good, you're not a really good kid, but you're not a really bad kid. and you go, really bad kids would run them up with this. Really good kids would give it to their parents. I'm going to hold it. I'm going to be in my bedroom.

And then when a friend I trust says, we'll show him, yeah. Scott's not seeing this. Exactly. Scott's not seeing this, Byron might. Yes. And even Byron was on the fence if I would show them that. The way we call it is not really being about that life. I like to do bad shit, but I also want to go home and have dinner with a glass of milk.

Play with your guys. So that's where, that's who McDaniel and I were in our group of friends. Same with us, yeah. Where we were like, we were hanging out with the bad kids. You can, you can walk in both worlds. And then you go, I'm going to go home. Yeah. I'm going to go home.

Before you guys do this B and E, I'm going to get. Yeah. And you go, Mike has Sega channel. We're going to go play that. Yeah. But good luck with everything. My mom still packs my lunch. Yeah.

I give her a kiss goodbye. Those kids were going home to a cold can of you. Yes. I got tubby time in 15. We got to wrap this up. Yeah. I'm trying to watch Monday Night Raw. I think you guys are going to go Finger Girls.

All right, we got to wrap it up. Ladies and gentlemen, one of the greatest. My favorite, baby. One of our best guests of all time. I love you, guys. I love you, Mr. Dan Soder. I love you guys. I love everything you've been doing this year, onward and upward with the RU Garbage family.

Thank you, brother. Keep banging. We love you. We'll get airport breakfast someday. Oh, that'd be nice. Festival. He also just get breakfast sometime. Yeah, that'd actually be fun.

We were like a block away from each other. It's me, you, him, and Vecione. No one's talking. I go, don't talk to him. He's cutting his eggs. He does that thing like that Where he's moving the fork and the knife Now go

Only protein Fat boy, what are you up to? Guys, we love you We'll see you next week Peace