Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Foley vs. The Italians! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: June 8, 2026

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Pestie: https://pestie.com/AYG Promo Code: AYG Aura Frames: https://auraframes.com/GARBAGE Promo Code: GARBAGE Factor: Head to https://factormeals.com/garbage50off and use code garbage50off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

New Jersey, Philadelphia, Delaware. You heading down the shore this summer? Of course you are. July 10th, the boys are going to be at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. Come out for a little AIG life. Yes, and before that, we're going to be in Portland, Maine at Empire Comedy Club. Tickets going fast. Then we're going to be in Pittsburgh at the Pittsburgh Impro.

And then hilarities in Cleveland, Ohio. Get your tickets. Are you Garbage.com. Stand-up comedy. Play AIG with the crowd. It's a good, good time. We'll see you there. Best summer ever.

Hey everybody out there And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast This is RU Garbage Oh my God It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians And we find out of the group to be classy Yeah Or if they're just a big old piece of trash

Trash trash trash! I'm your host Dave Trulley coming at you on a beautiful day We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition She just got a nose job Okay Yeah, made a bigger I respect I'm gonna get more up there

My co-coast is coming A from across the table this is what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies, just the way we like it. Family. Friends, family, togetherness, tightness. Having each other's back. Do you want to do the... Sticking it out together.

Bonus time here over at Are You Garbage? Give it up for our good pal, Kevin James Ryan. What up, gang? Shout out to you. As always, please make sure you rate if you're subscribing on a 10-1 video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify And the boys are climbing a mother friggin' charts Then obviously

WW.com I show you garbage. You go over there. You join them. I mean, listen, there's over six or about 16,000 paid subscribers Depending on the date this comes down. That's a regimen. Listen, the proof is in the pudding.

How about that? If you think the bang ain't for you, also you join today, you get the last five years, all right there. Plus the video of Tootie's nose job. Sean, don't go, don't go promising stuff that we don't have. Maybe I do. Okay.

All right. Yeah, so check that out, gang. Yeah, I thought you'd have a comment about me pouring my water. You want me to have a comment about you pouring your water. I don't. I've seen you. Someone look at me. I'm hateful.

You look at me. Is this cool? Is this cool? And then no one does it. I thought you were going to say something about me. pour my water. How old are you? 50? I can flip my eyelids inside out. I wanted to ask you this before we get started.

Is this something quick? This is going to stink. You just said it out there. I'm done. I'm done! Goddamn dramatic actor anyway. A drama queen. You give me that. Ice queen. Are you familiar? Nope. Thanks for stopping by.

Are you familiar with the term shrimp ring. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Never come across my radar.

Is that what that's called? What? When you get like the frozen shrimp. They had to say, Frozen shrimp. The frozen, when you get the frozen shrimp. Uh, yeah, we were. It's kind of a store bought thing.

Not kind of. It's a store bought thing. You're not getting that, like, you go to Captain Chucky's. You're not getting a, you're not, you're getting fucking fresh shrimp. Sure. Yeah. It's not in that little thing that goes around. You don't think that's trashy?

First of all, I never said that. You asked, do I know what it is? Yeah, I never do that. And I also, as a, you know, a man, you don't think I'd be able to put together what the two words shrimp ring were. Took me about a week and a half. I don't know what they were talking to shrimp. But once you figured out, you haven't looked back, have you big don't? I can't do shrimp like that.

Okay. I like fresh shrimp. Okay. Cocktail. Sure. Yeah. shrimp is the trashy as seafood Yeah, they're like bugs

Yeah No, they're not A shrimp rings trashy Go to the store you get shrimp ring your trash I would argue are you all shrimp is trashed You're fucking nuts I don't know It was always fancy to me

But I come from dirty dirty people To him We used to make it my stepdad The recipe died with him He wasn't able to pass it down Really? Yeah What he meant?

He was supposed to tell Nadine I don't know Someone with a lot of quartz light in it I swear to it It was like this brown azure, this brown liquid, like bay water. Yeah?

Uh-huh. And how would he serve the shrimp? You mean. Oh, there was no shrimp involved? He'd lay down, take his clothes up and put him on top of now. Yeah, they would just be like on a platter. Maybe in a ring shape, a cocktail sauce. Oh, so it was a dip.

Yeah. It was like an azure type liquid. Not azure itself. For hot shrimp or cold shrimp? I think they were hot shrimp. Hot shrimp? Hot shrimp? I don't know.

That's weird. Hot shrimp cocktail? What? Well, shrimp cocktail means it's cold. So it wouldn't be hot, right? No. Yes. Maybe.

No. Right? Cocktail means cold shrimp. So he had hot. I mean, there's a crab cocktail is in cold shrimp cocktail crab. Yes, it is. It's cold. Cocktail means cold in that is what I say.

Yes. You said it means cold shrimp. Well, in that vernacular. Sure. Systematically. nomatically crustaceanally you got something on this

is it you guys are right but they there is hot shrimp cocktail it's a fun twist fun summer twist on shut the fuck out of here fun

I don't not you personally but the fun summer twist shut up can anybody have fun no Jesus Christ just because you're a bored

doesn't mean everybody else can't have it out there fucking let loose a little bit that's like hot shrimp stick in the mud it's famous champion by a hero of yours. Anthony Bourdain.

Ina Gartner. Where the fuck was she? When? I would have never kept her happy. That guy's got cash, Jeremy. You can't keep Luke happy. What are you talking about? He's your employee.

You're not even married to him. You're not keeping a lot of people. I keep him happy. Chexie coming in. This one's late, but listen. I love the not looking up. Like a dog who just got caught going through the garbage.

I think them this really great. I don't understand this. So hot shrimp around this brown sauce? I don't know if it's hot. I don't think they're cold, though. It's not chilled. Maybe the Rune-Tem shrimp. Cook.

They're cooked shrimp. Are they devained? I think so. You know, it doesn't really bother me. Mm-hmm. The poop. Whatever that is. A little flavor.

I don't think it's protein. I wouldn't mind going to that place out in San Francisco. It's called like Swan Seafood Shop or Seafood Shop or Sam seafood shop. That's a Bordane spot. He eats the brains at a crab in the crab shell. Swan Oyster Depot. Yes.

They got a dish out there where you're just eating a brain. First time I saw it, was an Asian couple that came into Devon and I was working there. They ordered, this lobster had been there since I started working there. This thing was like six pound. Called him Bubba. He was not six, he was a monster. And they say, once you get a pass like two,

that's an old fucker and you don't want to be eating it. You want to keep lobster back one and a quarter pound, two pound, maybe three, a couple. Mm-hmm. They crack this fucker open and they fucking turn the head upside down the body and they fucking put like the mustard stuff in there. Oh, were they in the kitchen? And they were eating it? No, they did it all at the table. They did it?

They did it. What did they get in a tank? No, I cooked it. I had the chef cook them. That's the one they wanted. They're like, give me that one. It was just. I don't like your insertion of you into this.

You had the chef cooking for them. Yeah, you waited on them. You didn't have it. I sold him, Bubba. You didn't go out and like, listen, like, you know, a guy in the back, he fired up. I sold him. I had this chef cooking. They said, what's the biggest lobster you got?

I said, it's about four or five pounds. It's a big dog back in my underwear. Why would I have lobster in my underwear? Huh? You're being stupid. Now, crab, sure. I don't think I've ever laughed like that. That's crazy.

I just pictured you waiting tables with a big fucking... I don't know if it was your dick or your... Or poop. I don't know. But it was a big lobster. Huh. Claws sticking out. Maybe that's how you get your tricks.

I had a weird dream with you in it last night. I don't want to hear it. I didn't say I was going to tell you. Oh, it's a weird... You want to tell me so bad. I don't know what you've... You've told me a lot of dreams. And I'm well documented.

I don't ever want to hear anybody's dream stories. And you turn the volume of... up on that water a little bit. I didn't want to drink it out of the thing. This isn't performative. You're kidding. You're really looking for a personality guy. I represent that.

Keep saying that. Second show, you said that. I'm looking for a, probably got a fucking personality. Ponytail guy. Duh. Okay. You don't like shrimp? That's crazy.

I don't like shrimp. But it is, it's always. Dirtbags are always like shrimp cocktail Is the fanciest thing in the world Growing up to me Yes, you know how expensive that was the guys like us? It's always the most expensive thing at dirtbag menus That's he's that that's a good

From a kid from his world That makes sense To us it is Classy Had he got the shrimp Joe's doing his shrimp I was so good Trying to get one out of your dad

It was like fucking trying to get a kidney from him Yeah only yeah I mean we were I've well docked I'm a crab guy He'll give you three we never ordered it out Maybe if we were due Very special occasion Yeah no I don't know

I mean Applebee's doesn't Maybe my stepdad would get I'm a picture of like a surf and turf Peel and oh those are a trash Shrimp and chicken Those shrimps suck I remember being on a hot skillet And him being like picking his teeth

Of the toothpick The long toothpick that they give you You got to soak them in water There'd be like four shrimp on it or something Yeah they sucked Yeah They were the worst shrimp ever Look like little sand crabs.

Ain't no meat on that thing. All pale. Nobody got to them things before they came out. It's like a bite out of them. Squirrels were eating. Yeah. No, we were never. I don't think my mom really liked them growing up.

And he would get it like at Applebee's. That would be the time we saw them. Whatever they, whatever special they were running. You know what I mean? I'll do to. Jack Daniel steak. Jack, yeah. With shrimp.

A baked potato. There must have been a surplus. of shrimp from like 1995 to 2002 because they were everywhere. Popcorn shrimp. Everybody got them. Yeah. They were throwing them at it for free. Well, I think that was trashy people thought you can go there and get cheap shrimp.

Go with a bonefish grill. That was, I remember I met my mom there one time. She was eating. I had to borrow money off her. She ran. I pulled up. It was in like Doyle's town. It was like far from where, like.

What a. loser. Yeah, I drove up to get like... She didn't make you come to the table, like the three Wiseman? He's just embarrassed. I was like her and her friends from work. How much you have to get off her?

Not, and like, I burned half in gas getting there. $40? You probably went right to Wawa and bought a pack of heater. For sure, dude. I'm driving all the way up to fucking... I got 40. Probably was $40. Yeah.

Yeah. $40. Bucks. Getting a shrimp cocktail with that. Probably an embarrassing. Yeah. No, but don't we're going to Bainfish Grill. Carrabis.

You watch your mouth. Oh, what is? There's this one where we grew up. It's the perfect Philly. Millers? No. We are the Millers. Which, by the way, very underrated movie.

Great film. Great. Very old that time. I'm a Sudakis, man. Arnette can kick rocks. Don't get started on. the day. I love him. And not that Ted Lasson shit.

I love that Ted Lassos. Now, but Sudecis. This one, Carlucci's Grill. We're going over to Carlucci's. She'd hit me with that one, dude. They do garlic on the bread stinks. Let's get the real garlic. Let's get the dinner menu there.

You get the muscle Carlucci. What's that? Saulted with garlic olive oil. It comes in a pick of the fifth. Comes with a tit. Oh. Fried or spicy calamari, buffalo chicken tenders. That's on the appetizer. Buffalo Calabari.

Also was another, this was another big name growing up for, not, no. Sopranos on the Bada Bing shrimp. Get the Bada Bing chicken. But it was completely different from, it was like Asian. Wasn't Bada Bing shrimp? Oh. What the fuck? You bite of your tongue.

I was sorry. and no, at Carlucci's. I thought I remember it was. Mr. Mrs. Carlucci, I like to apologize and I have to be the H. Foley Industries. I thought it was. It's a Thai chili sauce base. Boom.

Fuck you and fuck Carlucci. That's crazy. Yeah. That's what I'm doing it right now. No, you got to beep that. I'm sorry, Mr. Mr. Carlucci. I mean any disrespect. Obviously.

Who owns Carlucci? Probably Burger King or something like that. No, this is a... Oh, it was a single family. It wasn't a chain? No. You fucking ass. How are you gonna get me fucking whack?

You said bonefish grill. Oh, you said, hey, bonehead. No, no, no, no. First of all, who the fuck owns bonefish grill? Come get some. All right? I live at 2, 3, 5 Bunker Hill Road. It's not by any time.

Someone's been watching the town. It's on tuby. But I didn't know Carlucci's was a fucking local spot. I thought it was a chain. From our family. You got to beep that. I'm almost back. I'm not getting whack now.

These guys don't play. Yeah, no shit, dickhead. You fucking set me up? I didn't know. You did. You're the only guy. You mentioned Carrabas, which is owned by Taco Bell. Then you fucking sneak Carlucci's in there.

Get me talking shit about bottom being shrimp. And now all of a sudden fucking... You're running your yap again. You're like Jackie Jr. You are. Fuck this. Let's go to Carlucci. I'm a Carlucci's, man.

Shout out. A bag of trash up in Button? I believe it's in Yardley, Pennsylvania. Shout out to Carlucci. Right there, right, it used to be right next to Coles. My mom would take me back to the school shop and it calls, and then we hit Carlucci's. Or maybe we go to Dick's sporting goods, then hit Carlucci's. Mr. Mr. Carlucci, that was directed towards Kevin and his argument that bottoming shrimp wasn't a Thai chili sauce.

I don't know how you guys serve it at your place, which I'd love to come by as a guest. Nope. I apologize. Look, you're trying to get a free meal out of this. I'm not trying to get a free meal. I'm trying to save my goddamn life. That's all I need now. It's a creamy, spicy sauce.

They say nothing about Thai or Thailand or the good people of the Far East. We're talking about creamy, spicy Italian sauce. But commonly, the bottom-bbing sauce. Thai chili bays with saracha. Yes. Or a stripper with braces. Shout out to Tracy. God rest her soul.

You know what I'm talking about? Uh-huh. Ooh, the chimp and shrimp. Excuse me? Chimp and shrimp. The chicken. Chimp and shrimp These are monkey steaks

Chicken and shrimp Stephanie Grilled chicken strips Jumbo shrimp Sram sauteed with bacon Asparagus Sunrived tomatoes In a vodka sauce top

With Pente pasta That's probably their daughter Their beautiful daughter They got a good I gotta go here next time You do a sundryed tomato I figured you'd stay clear of that They're okay

It's like a raisin Yeah it's something I like them I like them I don't like them Yeah it feels like skin sometimes Yeah sometimes You get a wet one or something. Like a tongue.

Like I'm tongue kissing. I've done to something. I don't know. I've never tongue kissed anybody except. Have you? What? I can't imagine you kissing. You say this all the time, and the amount that you've said it makes me think you picture it a lot.

Oh, yeah, oh, bring it up and then, ugh. A lot of big shrimp breath. You ever have Thai chili? No, I'm a goddamn patriot. Shout out to Carlucci's. Find out who wants Carlucci's, please? I know it. It's all.

It's about a. on the website. Is it the Carlucci family? It's an Italian family. I see, you gotta beep that. We can't be talking shit about a nice fucking family on restaurant. I didn't talk anything. You'll let me hang out there, Luke? I'm gonna have to put you down like Jackie Jr.

You're not gonna run in your mouth. You're not gonna do it. Shit, you'd have the nerve to put a gun at the back of my head and pull a trigger. Better not miss. Please don't. Please don't I need this. I'm going to have to take Denise out there for dinner, smooth things over with the family. What, you got beef?

Oh, you're going to go out there representing me? Not representing you. I'm going to drug. Down in Miami is doing a lot of Coke. That was Ralphie's story. Worked for him. Got to whack this Foley character. They're running his belt, not too long.

What if Carlucci came to him was like, listen, either you take him out or we take you out. I say, hey, give it six weeks. You would do it. You would do it. No, I'm not. Walking every day. Not telling anybody who would.

You hit to the bridge. Would you, would you do the honorable thing? What's the honorable thing? You'd take the bullet for me. Yeah, that's what I would do. You wouldn't? Like I already have arrows in my back. You wouldn't?

You would do that? If they came to you? I'd have to take the knife out of my back that you put there and try to and try to your knife out of your back. I'm trying to defend myself. You're dripped out in diamonds and jewels. What are you talking about? Against the Carlucci's.

I wonder if they got a tour Italy. They got a tour Italy over there? I don't know. It's a little. Maybe I got Scoogie to back me up. There you go. Those guys don't fight clean. Either the scogeys, I presume.

Shout out the Scuji. Get the tour Italy if you're going over there. And that peanut butter pie, it's delicious. Mm-hmm. I obviously see Carlucci's. I'm joking. I'm going to take Denise over now. I'll sit down.

I sit them down. They do booze over there? Maybe it's B.YO.B. They got a roopier float. Fuck. Now I'm really pissed. You fucked up, guy. You're running your mouth.

In another life. I could have been working for the Carlucci. Making root beer floats. Drinking them. They got a Carlucci's food truck now available for off-premise events. Hire them. Get them over here. Whatever it costs.

Next Philly show. I'm over here. Next Philly show. I've brought the sponsor by Carlur, whatever. Yes. Shut of Carlucci's. Baby showers, bridal showers, birthday dinner or any special occasion.

Like your best friend and partners? Funeral. Have the beef and beer there. They fucked up. They whack me and you got to have to. I got to have it there. It will give you 10% off, huh? Your friend was a jerk off.

I had nothing to do with them. We know. We're having fun. Shout out to the car. I brought it up because I knew you would Love it. You were trying to disagree with me and trash me and bonefish grill. Yeah, I got you. We got you. Relax. Man, I got to save your keister.

That fuck at it. I'll run. I'll run. I'll go straight to Sicily. I don't know. I don't know about anybody over there. Until I got Apollonia. Yeah, I'll be starting a car. I'll be over there teaching you how to drive. Kaboom. Did we just get married? Took my virginity. What?

Creep? See, you always say, you always bring this. They were a couple. You wish. They kiss me. And I got all that fucking bottle of big shrimp breath going on. Gang, let's talk Pesty. Pesty, Pesty. Pesty. Pesty. Patsy. Now, Kippey's the Pesty King. Who you know?

This guy is a client. Listen, nobody likes bugs around a house. Listen. It's summertime. Nobody wants creepy crawlers ruining a party. And that's thinking from the bug man. Nobody wants them around. Also, too, you got kids, you got pets.

What are you going to do? What's the answer? You got kids and you got pets and you want bugs in your house. Kippy, straighten them out. Yes. First of all, Pesty is kid and pet friendly. The pesticides they ship are fully registered to have been used in hospitals and schools all over the country. Pestey offers a 100% bug-free guarantee or your money back.

Pesty gets rid of over 100 types of bugs from spiders and ants to roaches and scorpion. Dude, what day? Like I've said, if you got scorpions, you've got bigger problems, okay? You better put a for sale sign in front of your house. Yeah, they take care of scorpions. Do pesty. Listen, it's also very easy. They ship it.

You mix it up yourself. I do it. You put your little hose sprayer on. You go around the house. You do the two foot sweeps. It's got a little Hummer battery on. Do the house twice. I do a double dose.

Get them out of here. Keep it going. I think it's like, I don't want. Family, man. Completed in less than 10 minutes. And I think it's like everything's, you're ready within an hour to keep going back on the thing. How you doing out the door? So what are you waiting for?

Fix your bug problem before it gets worse. Go to pesty.com slash a YG for an extra 10% off your order today. That's Pesty, P-E-S-T-I-E dot com slash a Y-G for an extra 10% and do it. Gang, we're talking or a frame. Orrame, or frame. That's right, Kippie. You know them, you love them. Orr-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-Rames.

The best gift that you can give your aunts, your uncles, your mom, your dad. Your dad's, P-E-Fathers Day. Yes. Kippy. Listen. I'm getting you an or a frame. Thank you. And if my wife was worth her weight, she'd also throw me an or a frame, and I'd respect that.

I have them in every room. One for the office. Boom. One for the house. Now, listen, my dad's dead. I can't get an or a frame. But, you know, my mom would appreciate pictures of my dad. That's why she's got an or frame.

And I upload pictures of my old man. Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, all the time. Yes. I don't know who's running around in that house down here, but they see the old man. They know, they got a lot of, they got some heat to follow. Sure. Guys, we've said it once. You said it a million times.

Or frames are a great gift for anybody. Specifically, your dad, I follow Daisy. I don't talk to my dad, but if I did, maybe I can bury a hatchet. What a nicer frame. If anything can do it, it's that. And I take that to the bank. You get free unlimited stores for all your pictures. You can preload photos before it ships.

You can personalize your gift you a little. I add a message before it arrives. The gift box is included. You share your photos and videos effortlessly through the app. Bada Bing. Bada boom. Top rated app. Reach number one in the app store on Christmas Day in 2020.

because they're moving, frigging units. Moving. Numbers don't lie. Name number one by wirecutter. You can now save by visiting orframes.com for a limited time. Listeners can get $35 off their best-selling Carver Matt frame with the code garbage. That's aura a ura frames.com promo code garbage. Support this show by mentioning us at checkout terms and conditions.

Conditions applied to it. Yeah. All right. Listen, we got a got to start a family episode on our hands. We got us some business here. We got to talk. We got, guys, as you know, when you're joining. to Patreon.

We're going to answer your garbage questions on the air. What am I talking? I got 16,000 guns on the street. What am I worried about? You don't think the homies got nickel? I don't know. You don't think the homies? I'm like a nice.

Italian dish. Come on. You panicking. I'll go to the fucking mattresses. Take a nap. Felix. I can't sleep on anything else. All right.

Listen. And all jokes aside here. We're having fun. Shout out Carlucci's. I don't like this. What? You crack your seltzer now? I should have waited.

You're such a psychopath. I don't like that. I don't, what? You do it at the cool time? Dude, everything to you is like a personal affront end or attack. Shark, seltzer me, please. Lime, shark. He'll be beams one through the fucking hurt.

Takes you right in the head. And he looks over and he wipes it and he goes, that's in the Carlucci's. I come up. speaking in a Johnny's accent like that lady. By the big. All. Jokes aside. What a transition.

This is from Big Zee to the sauce monkey. Shout out to him. Long-term investor. That's what his dryina's call Italian sauce monkeys. Shout out to the boys. Is it garbage if you wear clothing from an amusement park roller coasters? My adult age friend has a King de Kha and El Toro shirt. in his normal wardrobe rotation.

It's King de Kahn, isn't it? He wrote King de Kha. I think it's Kha. What was it? A snake, right? I thought it was a monkey. I don't know. Something.

This is great adventure. Sure. They played it fast and loose. You are a 100% bozo if you're wearing that. You got to be. What if you're in a band, a cool, like, alt band? I'll give you that if you're wearing it ironically. Julian Casablanca from the Strokes War.

It would be pretty cool. Yeah, well, once you're a rock star, You know, you make some... I'm not wearing. Yeah, that's a... Yeah, that's trash. Also, to spend your money on that, they're probably...

What do you think a... What do you think a merchandise t-shirt goes for? Over at Great Adventure? They bang out. That ain't target prices. My dad wouldn't buy anything over it. I feel like we packed our lunch. Was that possible?

I think so, yeah. That we brought food in? Mm-hmm. I was just somewhere where that way... They did that, where it was like you can... I was... that you could... I think you could...

Can you bring food into a baseball stadium? Yeah, probably like sandwiches and stuff, right? I can eat a peanut butter sandwich guy next to me got a plate of nachos. I'm sitting there looking like a dickhead. Peanut butter sandwich, peanut butter and jelly watching the game?

That stinks. Mouth fucking dry shit. Like a goat out in the fucking bleachers. No thanks. Fucking burning hot summer day. Yeah. peanut butter is melting. All oily.

I was just somewhere where I'm like, oh, you won't be able to. They're like, oh, no, you're allowed to bring that stuff in. Where I was shocked. I'm not going to recall. How do you feel about people that bring food into a restaurant if they have, like, dietary restrictions? No, I'm okay.

Actually brought something. I don't think that flies of garlucci. Oh, is the nod. I, yeah, no. I mean. I would say I have a friend who has pretty strict dietary stuff. Okay. And you can always find something on the menu.

Something. I'll just do the salad. Does this salad come with whatever? All right, I'll just lose that. And can you just do that with grilled chicken? Like, there's a way to negotiate around it. I don't have the nerve. My boy does that.

Bring stuff in? No. Well, he did for a minute. What does that look like? And not even him specific. How, what does, I don't know what that looks like. It was like a soup. It was like a butternut squash soup.

I got my own soup. Yeah, he was like on a really strict thing. But he would order something too. He would say, listen, unfortunately. He would call ahead to all that stuff. But he'd order, he'd order grilled chicken. But then he would have, like, requests. Like, you can't cook it and butter.

Don't do this. Don't do that. That's a lot of stuff. A lot of guys do that. Those kitchen guys would be such fucking pricks about that. What? Like, I was ordering it. Yeah.

They hate it. Make the fuck. fucking chicken. I feel like it's probably now it has custom. Like you're also, all of your war stories are from a different time in waiting tables. Now like, I mean,

you used to hate when people would like, hey, can we split this between two cards? Now it's like, that's just, hey, what'd you have you? You had to Coke and like that.

Things are significantly different. I think more people are requesting that. The no butter or no whatever. What do you cook it in? Not at those. Not at like a chef restaurant. You couldn't do that on the bear, I don't think.

I tell you to beat it. Right? Yeah. No substitutions. Yeah, I mean, if it's like Michelin, I think, yeah, you're not allowed. Misholin. Mishol. But why?

Wait, I got to ask, was it, the Misholin man? Was it, uh... How'd they become the authority? I know. Do you want to know? Or do you not know? He told me before. They would go around.

My wife texts me. Can you call me when you're done recording? Like, I need that right now, lady. Call her up. What's just I hear you bringing food into a restaurant? Um, no, I just, I was like, is everything okay? Like, you can't. That's panic mode.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, nobody texts me anymore, so. No, they were, it was a guide to promote people to drive. So it was like, hey, go to these towns when you're, when you're driving and we'll, you can stop at these good restaurants. Okay. Um, at least that's according to Instagram. There was a certain amount of tires worth going and like, yeah, I think you.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, something like that. Six tires worth going? Exactly. Yeah. And then they became the authority on, it's got to be separate from the tire division, I would assume. Yeah, but it started out as, hey, we're going to give you good restaurant recommendations while you're on your road trip. Is Michelin an American company? I don't know.

And why do they say Michelin Star instead of Michelin Star? French. French company. French tires? Oh, that's it. I'm a Porelli, man. Shout out to the Carlucci's keeping it in house with these guys. with Porelli's on the ties Um

What were Okay Um Who does all the tires for F1 Pirelli Pirelli? It wasn't tie Yeah

So one star A very good restaurant Worth a stop Two stars worth a detour Three stars worth a special journey Now it's fucking crazy Yeah I think it's just as a You know

You wanted to get on the list And then the list became more refined I was a Zaget man back in I never I ned that missed You weren't No, my mom was obsessed with Zaget when it dropped. My mom, I guarantee you my mom doesn't even know what it is.

Because they only had it in New York for a while. They didn't have it in Philly. It came later. Yeah, I mean, it is Karabas on Zagget? Probably. Now, but not when it dropped. Like, my mom wasn't. I think they were a couple.

So it was just a Saturday Live sketch, I remember. The Zaggots? Yeah. I don't know. Zaggots. I got you. Bob Zaggitz R-I-P

I heard he crawls the glugis Established by Tim and Nina Zaget They're probably New York people Yeah I doubt they were from You know Saskatchewan who came down and All right this one

Go there you hoiser Hey please stinks Too many tunis You get two beer Uh This was of Stephen Clark Ten dollar homie never had one right Stephen Clark

Yeah That's a solid name Uh huh Mr. Clark that's the guy that should be running our company. Stephen Clark. I don't know why you undermine me public. Well, that's like in the founder.

I always thought it was undermined. You're undermining me. Undermining. Yeah, I found that out like very recently. Wait, what is it? Mining. Like a mine. Yeah, like you're going under.

You're cutting them all. I thought it was undermining me. Fred Turner was the guy's name. He ended up running McDonald's. Ice Turner. It's my guy's name. Got to move that car, girl. I can't do it.

I was texting Norman that the other day. Undermining. Undermining. You really undermine me. Cut me off. Make me look like a Johnny come lately. Sure. Or a daydream Johnny.

I had some life aquatic with Steve Sousseau. I'm a Stephen Clark guy myself. Anywho. Stephen Clark, shout out to you. Stephen Clark, that's a name you can trust. If I end up with a squeaky wheel on my shopping cart at Walmart, I take it to the hardware section and spray it with WD40. I've done it twice and it'll work both times. Am I garbage?

That's a fucking Stephen Clark. You're a goddamn American genius. That's what you are. That's a fucking man. That's a man. Because as a guy who's recently started being in the burbs and using shopping carts, you don't find out till like you're too far. You're like, ah, you think it's going to settle out.

It doesn't. And then you go, I got a bum cart. But you already got one of the two. You're not going to go back to the, you're a man. You're a rough it. This guy goes, I'll rough it right to the hardware. Spray it down. Brilliant.

Only thing I could see about that? They wouldn't want that. You sprayed a tire, spread a wheel, you get a little bit on the floor. Some dumbass comes along around a corner, slips on WD 40. You're shopping at Walmart now? I don't think I've ever used a car.

I don't use the car. Shopping for one. A lot of redisory. How do you carry seven rotisserie? I have them delivered. I do live bird. That's a. That's a very New York thing.

Have you ever done that or what would it take for you to do that? What, kill a chicken? No. What are you talking about? He owe me money. Carlucci told me that I would. Carlucci tells me to push a button on a chicken. I'm pushing that button.

What a lot of buffers, Your Honor. What? No, you get the groceries delivered. Like my grocery store does that. And they're guys there. It's like an economy. The guys are there. Like they're the bagger, older, retired guys.

or whatever. I mean, I don't grocery shop, obviously. I know, but I'm just saying. No, well, I need to, I couldn't get like a rotiss. I wouldn't trust them to get a rotissary chicken or my eggs. Why? Because I got to open the cart and I got to look and make sure they're all right.

I got to do that freaky stuff. The milk, I got to get the one from behind. I'm not taking the first milk off the shelf. What am I fucking dickhead? It expires tomorrow. No, you go back. I got to do that shit myself. You know what I'm saying?

Sure. I don't even like doing that. I don't even really like getting the Chipotle ordered because I don't see it. Okay. Well, then stop ordering it. You've had it about three times this week. So it's not bothering you that much. When a Chipoli honey chicken runs out, I'm done.

Wait until they dropped that bottom bean shrimp on you. That's the Chipotle wants to take over the world. Drop some bottom Bing chicken on me. Why don't they copy that model? What? That Chipotle model with other stuff I mean they have Everywhere I guess they have

That sweet green all that shit Yeah Yeah there's like every cuisine All right I'm sorry Take my one please Man Stephen Clark with a home That is great This one's from Joey bag of donuts

Ten dollar homie You's ever tried a fat ass in a glass When you come to Portland Maine Which we'll be there Ask for it at a dive bar. The boys would enjoy it. It's a boozy. I can't, big man can't have a boozy ice coffee beverage.

I can have a drink if I want one. Just everybody take cover. You son of a bitch. You never lie. I look at your shirt, I'm done. I'll chat to go to a fat ass on a glass. That's a great trashy dive bar thing. It was an ice coffee boozy beverage.

See what you got there, Lucas. It's a coffee flavored brandy and cold milk. or cream over ice. That's got the big man, Rindolo. Talk about a fat-ass in a place. Fat-hance on the floor of the bar. I'm a two-to-it,

you get my fat-ass on the dance floor. Doing a half-and-half out there. They're backing it up and dumping it on so money. I mean, you're getting fucked up on chocolate milk? That's crazy. Holy shit. I'll do too bad asses in a glass if I get my tiny dick wet. I'm spitting up like a baby.

Fucking milk everywhere. That sounds all right. That's very funny. But I can't do it. Hand up. I'm focused. I'm working on me. Hand out.

I want to have a hot dog up there. I feel like they got good hot dogs up in. Okay. What? Do they? What, you got a spot? Yeah. What are you talking?

I got family up there. Are they coming to the shows? Yeah. Can we stay with them? Yeah. What's who's side of the family? Well, Bryce Deckons. They got it.

Dad side. Oh, they got it. You comp them out? Yeah, of course. Did you already comp them? Yeah. Oh, fuck. Chickens are running a roost in here.

He's got their hands in my pocket. I don't need some muscle. Call it the Carlucci. I got a couple people back in there. Got an answer to the coach. The fuck. They're skimming to skim. I can't.

I'm a hit Carlucci's heavy. Stay, stay tuned for the fucking Instagram carousel coming from Kippy. Heavy. I'm getting everything. Okay. Okay. Let me display that. Shrimp Jackie.

No, that's a. Shrimp Jackie's down in, uh, don't tell me. Rousseau's, not Rousseau's. No. Alfie's. Alphys. Shrimm Stephanie. Shrimm Stephanie.

Beautiful girl. Chicken shrimp Stephanie. Probably a wonderful lady. Mm-hmm. I don't know why you brought that up. Kimby, this is Factor. Factor, factor, factor. Now, I don't got to tell you.

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All right, let's see. This one's good. This is from Lax Coach 72. What about? Are you garbage if your dad became the disco king of Fort Lauderdale after he divorced your mom in 1976? Holy shit. Imagine that.

He said there's a dance floor, and they turned like a parquet dance floor and it was a living room, I guess, for the after parties. Uh-huh Said every now and then There'd be a new smoke show Making them pancakes in the morning No shit He was around for it

That should be a movie Yeah The disco king of Fort Lauderdale The disco king of Fort Lauderdale I'm told from the story of the sun Yeah Coming of Aetale Of course

A coming of Ae I could get cracking on that I get a treatment ready Uh-huh No this kid to hit me up Cut him in 25% Plus I'll need distribution and I don't need to take a look at this smoke show

This is like when Chrissy got into Cleaver You don't get it, Tone I write a character with you You're retarded This is fat bald kid That I got at the disco Everybody made fun of him His name was Melvin

Melvin Brian He got hit with a bowl I thought it was a gumball. That's a work in progress. So you had to punch this up for me. Get Clark on the job. Bring Clark in on this. Have you do any work yourself?

You're bringing a lot of guys and giving away a lot of points. That's what genius does. They put people around him. Elon mustn't start Tesla with some fucking engineer. He put cash behind them. Right? Sure. You don't have any of that.

I have access to it. it though. I could drum up some business. You don't think I can go out there and get fucking two, three million? Mm-mm. Bullshit. You don't think I can go out there and get investors. I know two, three guys that can hit up right now that would say no. It would block their number.

I'll get restraining orders tonight. If you needed cash, who's the first person your call? First famous, first person in our world that you're calling that you think would get it. I'm calling you, dumbass. Well, that's my, no, not outside of it. me what I did the business manager liquid date so we're gonna get for these mics playing the game who would I call I mean there's two people that I would call that's what I'm asking can I say yeah why not called Schultz sure gilly sure

those are two good ones pretty good ones yeah I know who mine would go to what you said? Call new guy Luke, Mark the shark. As for a couple of walking out. You mean Mark the shark at a bonefish grill for $40? What about security? Nothing on that? That's crazy.

Yeah, that would be my call. You think so? I would, yeah. I was texting with him yesterday. He would have pity on me. I don't think they would do it because they would be worried that they were contributing to something. Mm-hmm.

You know? I don't really build up that kind of credit yet. Sure. Like, are you going to go get fucked up with you? I think the next call would be me. Fuck. they'd be like, hey, don't call Kevin. If you say don't call Kevin.

I got this dickhead watching me 24-7. That's a dead giveaway. Oh, my God. Hey, listen, I need, I need 250 grand. $250, I wouldn't ask him for that. 40 grand. Okay. First thing, I'm getting a pack of heaters.

Dude, that's ripping that first rip outside the seven on. Oh, dogy. Eyes rolling back in your head. Yeah. Okay. But yeah, if you said don't. I'd say Bert, but I think, you know, he's not handling that. Mm-hmm.

You know, I have to go through the misses. Yeah. And she'd probably be very concerned. Mm-hmm. So probably no dice there. Yeah. Stabi, I would say probably. No.

What? Yeah. Well. Hmm. I have some outside. people I can go to too, too? Okay. Carlucci's.

I think so. I want that big every friend. No, I don't. All right. A lot of garlic, man. Yeah. This one's good. This is for Mozempic gold medalist, $10 homie.

Ever catch a heater with your college professor before you both walk into class? Whoa, I feel like I've heard that before. That's a good one. That's a really good one. Yeah. I know. I don't think I, I'm trying to think if I ever, I would always stand out front and catch a heater. That was obviously.

Something about teacher smoking just really turned me off. I don't know why. Dude, my high school teacher was like out of central casting, suspenders, belly. Heaters. Dude, face like a catcher's, man. Like the pock marks and everything. The yellow fingers. You smoking that many heaters?

Oh, dude, this is like... They had kids. He's like 60-something. He always had a cough drop or something. And I'm like, you're clicking around in his teeth. Little Hansy. He liked the girls. Like the beautiful girl.

Yeah, I don't know how to teach her to do it. What? That's a lot. Day in and day out. Fucking punk-ass kids like you. Bad ass sitting back there. Peanut butter all over your face. I don't know what you're doing.

Kids are freak, lady. Back to school. I listen, your kids are freak. Driving me to smoke. He's like, you're backpacking it. All right, let's see This one's pretty good This is from Chris $20 homie

Shout out to you, big doll Why don't you freaking say something Glass of champagne for the gentleman Is it garbage if your family Specifically your mom called items By their brand name instead of what it actually was I, E, who use my panting Go grab my Michael Coors

Also referring to any and all video games As Nintendo games Oh, that's great They were all Nintendo games Well, that was before there was any, we were in, you're playing your freaking Nintendo games. You vidiots? I had an aunt call me a vidiot one time. Yeah.

He's out there playing his freaking Nintendo. Yeah, but then at my age, Sega came in. I was Sega. PlayStation, you know, so it was like, it was very, it stopped being Nintendo. And then Nintendo was kind of corny until N64 was kind of resurged. Really? Yeah. That was a rat was PlayStation and Nintendo 64?

around at the same time. Nintendo, PlayStation had to blow Nintendo 64 away with the graphics, right? Or no? No, PlayStation. No, I think there were,

I think... Nintendo 64 was cartridge. A cartridge can't compete with a DVD as far as technology, right? It wasn't a DVD, I mean, it was a CD at that time. But also,

whatever the 60s... It's all bit, right? So it's like 64. They were both to see what the original PlayStation was versus 64. I can't do the video games now It's too much

I really tried to play that Star Wars game I got into this fucking Jedi fighter It went too fast Oh The hell just Slow it down Although like I do remember I guess

We were mostly PlayStation 2 We went 6 and 64 to PlayStation 2 Well they're just so They are so different too Because Nintendo is all in-house So Nintendo doesn't allow any third Right PlayStation has all these third-party games.

Right. What do you mean? Like, Nintendo doesn't have Star Wars? No. Or, like, they'll have to, like, let... No, yeah. Really? A third party could make...

A third party, I don't think, could make Nintendo games. A third party could make... PlayStation games. Oh, that's why Nintendo 64 was like Zelda, Mario Brothers. It's always Pokemon. Yeah, it's all that. They have Pokemon? Yeah.

They do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you can't get Pokemon on PlayStation. No. That's the whole thing. So if you want to play Pokemon, you have to buy a Nintendo. Nintendo was always more cartoonish, too. You don't have an Nintendo console now.

I downloaded a ROM on my phone. A RAM. Really? Yeah. No, but there is no Nintendo console these days. The Switch. Oh, that's right. I have one of those.

I don't know where the fuck it is. What? Take my switch? It's on my house somewhere. Sure. Yeah. Moving on. Good day, sir.

The N64, though, actually did have better 3D render. and all had better yeah yeah I don't really I only remember my real memory is of play I don't I didn't have PlayStation one but PlayStation was also yeah like more adult games

yes like you had like Kingdom of Hearts like stuff like that like early on cherry N64 was like Sky Fox cruising USA Wave race Golden Eye is that what you that's the game you played which I will call it you know it's a good game the one

Alec Baldwin was the voice for you were a spy and you ran around and it was like James Bond fuck it wasn't called was really good PlayStation had scary games though I remember getting

so nervous playing Tekken stealth assassin or whatever his heart would start beating the rumble pack would be going dog chasing him hiding on a roof freaking the fuck out dude Nope that's a lot of stress for a

Wednesday. Oh, man. Throw on, Matt about you. Relax. I had this game. I can't remember what it was on. It might have been PlayStation or it might have been, I couldn't have been Sega.

But it was called, it was called Jungle Strike. You were an Apache helicopter. That was my favorite going around, fucking fucking Russian anti- That was on for Sega. It was. Yeah.

Also for Super Nintendo. Is that banging? I'd love a good helicopter game. Not too complicated. I don't want to do the flying shit. I want to go around to fuck shit up. And pick up troops. Come down, hit the fucking dirt.

Lay down some fucking covering fire. Get the boys in the chopper and get them the fuck out of there. Okay. You know what I mean? Sure. Yeah, I mean, the thing is also, it's like you can... They're all simulators now. Yeah, like, they're all so easy for the phone or whatever to do this stuff now.

What do you mean? Like, you, the console used to be the only thing that used to be able to, like, have these games. Now you have the phone, which is so much more powerful than all these old consoles. Yeah, but they're jacking you what the fucking. fucking in-game play. I'm not doing, I'm not buying missiles and shit. No, you can get a lot, like, this game, I bet you could get for free, like, on your phone. What's it called, Jungle Strike?

Yeah. Really? Yeah. I like that naval ship game. I can't remember what it's called. I had that for a minute. Stealing valor? No.

It was sick. You could shoot a guy, like, around the corner. It was just ships going after each other. You had to buy shit, though. Get the Swiss gun, get this, get that. I didn't get time for that shit. Mm-hmm. Got my cash tied up real estate.

Bonds, hit me up. I need 40 grand to play video games. You swear to God, don't tell, get me. What's that stuff called in, uh... Pussy. No, what's that stuff called in, um... In game purchases? No, what's the, the one that the kids play?

You jump off Wonderworld? Assassin's Creed? No, it's on an island. Fucking... Fortnite. Yes. What are those called? Internet bucks or something?

V bucks. V bucks. My fucking nephew must just shook me down from like 10 grand of V bucks. Mm-hmm. Never saw that again. If he don't let me live with him when I'm older, I'm be so pissed. So he'd be what? 20 and you'd be 60?

That's a bad hang. Well, and I don't think you're getting any. I'll give him until he's 30. He settles down. So you're what? Seventy? Yeah. I have my retirement cash then hanging out.

What retirement cash? I don't figure something out. See if Schultz returns by call. Okay, all right, let's see here This is from Keaton Smith Never Have One Red Is it garbage to put home construction projects On your wedding registry

In hopes that one of your uncles Will do the work for free Holy shit Jammed up, need electrical work And a new bathroom love use Wow I like it Hey I'm gonna come do the bathroom

Listen, these constructs A bathroom like 20 grand It depends what you're getting done Parts and labor Depends what you're getting done Yeah I mean I don't think He would have been buying the parts. Like, hey, I'll buy the tile and the, whatever, whatever, you know, come over for,

it's not going to be a full redo. Like, pretty good spruce up, I presume. What problem with that? They try to say, all right, you'll help, though. Fuck, what's the point? I can't help you. You know what I mean? Not really.

I like what other people do it. They do it better than I do. Uh-huh. I can't do that shit. Mm-hmm. Stuck with your hanging out of your uncle. You know what I'm saying? I can't get, I feel like you love hanging out with your uncle or something.

Till he died. Yeah. They weren't redoing bathrooms. Businessmen. My dad was terrible with that shit. But I like, I mean, like, I have a lot of my uncles do that stuff. You know what I mean? Like, shout out of my uncle Dan.

He's done, like, everybody's kitchen. Like, that whole, like, everybody from my sister and everybody, he did everybody's thing. Those guys love sidework. They don't like sitting around. They like a reason to, you know, complain. I got to go down there. I got to do that. I guess I had that.

What? That don't like sitting around. Not that I do like sitting around. I get anxious, but I don't, you know what I mean? These guys like moving. Yeah. What are you looking at? Like, you're fucking bare grills.

I didn't look at anybody anyway, did I? This guy rolls up his sleeve all of a sudden. He's Bob Vila. You're a slob Vila. Now, see? I could use that in the script. Clark! Put him on a project.

You're putting me on the project. Kippee's in for five points. I'll have to run up by Clark. Get yourself a Clarkman. You got a Clarkman? Thanks, drag. That's pretty good, man. I like that.

I'm thinking outside the box. Oh, yeah. You know, I'm a big fan of that. Hey, come over, do that, you know. Anything anybody does. Now, obviously, I, you know, I think I have some expertise in this. Anything anybody does in those situations, like, you know, on the registry or whatever, that's going to move them forward as a couple.

I respect that. Yeah. You know? 100%, 100%. That's what it should be. It shouldn't be this big extravagant thing, you know, destination, a bunch of money, all that kind of stuff around a major holiday. It shouldn't be that.

It should be something tight, small to celebrate with the community. It's porosos, by the way. Age, double, and I. Henigan's the smell. That's what I'm saying. That's why I said it. Tommy's got the 40-G-D-G-D-1-9. Graney's got all that porosos money.

It's all over to set. I got a couple of bottles here. I signed both of their names. I signed both of their names in Ted Williams. What? The famous baseball player is dead. Splinter. Huh?

That was his fucking nickname, dickhead. All right. Johnny Red Sox over here. You live fucking 20 minutes outside New York all of a sudden you're New Englander. Give me a break. You don't like what anybody. does anything. I talk about

got that $40,000. What do you got to cash or what guy? This is from no context. I got a hot date of garlucci. This is from no context, AYG? Is it garbage to leave unopened boxes of soap

in your dresser so your undies smell like Irish spring? That's again. Yes, it's trash, but it's fucking awesome. Get rid of that wood smell. But what is, because I, if you remember, we talked about that, I did dryer sheet. I did a bunch of stuff.

I didn't think of boxes of soap. I'm going to do that for sure. But why is it trash? Just because it's not used for that? I'm like rich people I'm sure have like some sort of classier version of that. Why is it trashy? I'm not I don't disagree with you, but like my mom would always get something from a wedding and put it in there. Like a little bag of potpourri or something.

Yeah. Which I mistook for candy more times than not and it did not end well. I always thought it was those Jordan almonds. You ever fuck with those? You don't know what the country Jordan? No, they might be. I think they're like Michael Jordan's got his. own almonds.

Damn. He's fucking hands and everything, huh? No, Jordan almonds are candy-coated almonds.

No, I remember my mom at potpourri in a room and I found it and was like, I remember thinking trying to smoke it. I'm all fucked

I'm twitching out. All fucked up on cinnamon. I'm going like, who do you, I go, what is this? He goes, it's just for,

like, to smell good. I remember going, we got like. Popery blew my mind. And I remember just like red wood chips. Yeah.

And I remember being like, mulching a half. house? Yeah, I remember sitting there thinking like, who do you think you all? We're not. Really? This stuff isn't for us. It felt like rich people shit. It was in a dish with a lid and you take it off and then smell it and then close it? It never worked. It sucked. No. Let's fucking get the glade. That's what I'm saying. Hit them with some chemicals. You know what rich people do that's very classy? They put something on the stove. They throw cinnamon, lemon, some shit like that. You guys do that? No, but I've heard of like, that's more of like homemakers do that stuff.

Like a Martha Stewart type thing. Like before you have people over. They do that at William Sonoma. Yeah, that's who does it. They got it going. So you walk on, what's that? It's just like they're just, you know. The casinos pump something through the air too, don't they?

Mm-hmm. What is that? Yankee candles. Is that true? No, I don't know. They do pump something. We had like in college, we had such dirtbag, smoked in a house. out to 716 Edgeley Street, North Philadelphia.

It was me flip, another kid, and then a couple kids moving in and out. The good-looking kid that you know, my buddy. Eddie, shout out of Eddie Spaghetti. Shout out of his spaghetti. He, uh, we all smoked in the house. Imagine that. One kid didn't smoke moved in with us. And me, Flip, Eddie and my boy McFadden all smoked in the house.

And this kid didn't smoke. It was like an athlete. He was like up at the gym every day. Did he care? I'm just, he would have to, right? It's nuts. You just walk in after his class and there's four fucking hoodlums. I smoke.

I hate that. Maybe crack a window. Maybe. Maybe crack a window. You smoke with a wind. I remember up at your buddy's house that you used to live. Episode just went live. What episode?

I mean, is it 7 o'clock? Or is it? Do you know where your children are? Do you know where $40,000 is? You smoke with the windows to close. No, we would crack that one. That don't do shit. No, it doesn't.

We would try to sit next to it. Whatever. I don't know it's staying around. No, it's lingering. But we had like a butter, like it was a Christmas cookie Yankee candle that I stole from my mom. Didn't stand the chance. This thing. We thought it was, it was the bigger one, too.

Not the little guy, but the bigger one. I know the exact candle. I know the exact smell. No, I think this might have been one. I don't know. Oh, a tri-wick? No, they didn't come out until like mid-2000s. No, not the big jar.

This was still in the glass, but like a... Okay, yeah. Like a bigger glass. Not they had the short little stubby ones or like the tiny little ones. This was like a... They ain't cheap either. This was like a court. You know what I mean?

I know what you mean? Like a coffee can size. Big boy. And we used to think this was the... Like, girls would come over, but I like the, you know, we'd Spruce like to like the candle. And it was suck. All the fat chicks, fucking. You're in there.

Butterschak. You're in there starving. This fucking popcorn-flavored candle. Christmas cookie. And, uh, we, we thought it was so fancy that we wouldn't ash in it. That was our thing. You don't ashen the Yankee candle. And then at some point, you just, I,

I'll do. I remember trying to light that thing when it got all the way down the bottom. Fucking hand come out covered in tar. That was wild. Yeah. Like a Russian coal miner. I remember being like that's, to me, and I guess Yankee candles are probably trashy in the grand scheme of things. I don't know.

Give me a retail price. I'm a Yankee. They are. They trash? Yeah. To you. I know. But I would, listen, I've been out of the candle game for a long time.

I would have to say the fact that there's that many flavors. I'm not saying they haven't jumped a shark, but for a while, they ruled Christmas. I think to us, if you zoom out, I think they might be, there's a real good case that they're trashy. They're great. I mean, they hold a lot. They are needed in society. They run about $20 a candle. Really?

Yeah. What's the burn life on that? They got to get that. 17 hours. No, more than that. What are rich people doing? Diffusers. Now, they're bad for you.

Everybody says that. What? They're no good. There's two different kinds of diffusers. What diffusers are you talking? Like the sticks that you turn up side of that? Why is that bad? I've just, I've heard.

All right? I'm asking. Why do you get so defensive? Because Carlucci's trying to come after me. He shouldn't have been running your friggin' metal. I didn't mean to. I remember my buddy, rest in peace. His, he was the first one to have one down the basement.

A diffuser or can't? The diffuser. And he's like, oh yeah, turn that upside down. And I was like, what the fuck? No, I'm talking about the ones that are sitting in like the vase

with like they look like punks. Yeah, you turn, yeah, they sit in there. Uh-huh. In the bottom and the one side's wet and then you turn that, turn the sticks upside down. Wouldn't you get it on your hand?

No, the stick absorbs the water. And then you turn it upside down and like now the, you've unleashed the beast. Yeah. Why are they bad? Do you have anything?

Uh, There's something in, um, paraben. Oh, like a chemmy. Yeah. Kemi. Yeah. Fucking tall. Only bad though in like very small spaces.

Really. To your apartment. Hmm. Um, we can do this and we got to wrap it up. This is from Ben Rosen. $13.80. Canadian bozo. Hey, Benny.

Hey, Ozer. Never had one read. The old man used to be an independent. contractor. He worked in legal services, Shady. Every invoice, every in, on every invoice, he would charge mileage, but he only worked from his home office. That.

God damn Canadian hero. Talk about skimming the skim. They don't know. I'm driving all over creation for this guy. I tell you what. You can't, you can't count for human miles. What? You know what I mean? There's skim going here. A lot of trips I had to make to the Batroom during this case. I respect it. That's all right.

That's good. You just got to turn a corner. What are you doing? Of course. You don't think these billionaire fat cats are doing the same goddamn thing? I mean, I don't think they made all their money. Skimming $8 and mileage per case, but they'd have to do $500 million cases. But yeah, I see what you're saying.

I'm going to tell you this right now. Tell me, bud. I love the both of you. I love you too. Gang, we love you. What a fun one. Uh-huh. Good old-fashioned family episode.

Yeah. We will see you next week. Punt!