Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Foley's Retirement Home! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: December 8, 2025

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Aura Frames: Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/GARBAGE. Promo Code GARBAGE True Classic: Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In 2011, two local dirtbags met outside of a comedy open mic at the Raven Lounge in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The fatter one needed to borrow money off the bald one. Now, 14 years later, they're playing the biggest RU Garbage show at the Met in Philadelphia. Their bond over TGI Fridays, cheap beer, scratch-off lottery tickets, and drinking milk with dinner has led to the creation of the RU Garbage podcast. Get your tickets for a true celebration of Philadelphia Garbage. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.

This is RU Garbage. So a little show, we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find it enough to be classy. Yeah. After just a big old piece of trash. Garbage. I'm your host, A Tate's Foley coming at you on a glorious day. We're out back here at Tootty's in a new edition. She, um, I really can't get into it right now.

Okay. I told her I wouldn't. Is that guy working really? I'm telling you, I just, I want to say, but I can't. Okay. I mean, just respect her privacy at this difficult time for her. All right. I will.

When she's ready to make an answer to everybody about what's going on, you'll be the first to know. Okay. But for right now, I got to respect what she said to me about what she's doing. Sounds like you're about to tell me. I just got to respect it. Do you want me to tell you? No, I don't want to know.

That's her business. And also, you know, don't let the bozos out there. It's a family business. We've got to circle the fucking wagons a little bit. If it's that serious. It's kind of messed up. Okay. Well, then I don't.

Then I don't want to hear it. You sure? Yeah, I don't want to. You're kind of involved. We're all kind of involved Just by You know Association

Yes My name somewhere Yeah Yeah not happy about that I'd rather if it's going to bring up legal consequences I'd rather wait to live She might have mentioned your name specifically

Sure But I told her I wouldn't say anything Okay My coes is coming at you from across the table This is what we call a family episode Just the boys the bozos and the homies Just a way we like it Give it up for KJ

Kevin James Ryan. Hey, gang, shout out to you. As always, please make sure you read, view, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube. Also, full video available over there on Spotify, baby. Boys are climbing through the charts. Then obviously- Hanging in there in them charts.

Hanging in, baby. We really are. We've never shown all. Shout out to the posos and the homies. We're the journeymen of this type of thing. You know what I mean? We're not the superstars. We're not the bozos.

We're in the middle. We're the underdogs. Well, fucking ham and eggers, lunch pail guys. You know what I mean? Hamm and Eggers. Coming in, doing a job, putting the boots on going to work. going home. Ham gets a bad

rapid breakfast. I don't know why. Yeah, I'm not a huge fan, but I get it from time to time. And then obviously the greatest website of all time, www. www. patreon.com slash rar you go over there. You join over the 15,000 members

that I don't owe me a garbage, baby. I'm talking boots on. That's 30,000 boots on the ground. Actually, there's probably some one-leggers out there. You think? Yeah, for sure. Just statistically why. You think so?

Yeah, some probably like something, they got stuck in a railroad or something like that. I mean, you know, it wasn't a squash, Let's say 29,000 legs. You think there's a thousand people missing legs? No, no, no, no. That's bad numbers, dude. I mean, maybe feet, diabetes will get you.

Yeah, where was that the other day? It was a healthcare professional. It wasn't my endocrinologist, but it was another doctor referred to it as diabetes. Dr. Field good. Diabetes? What the fuck? And then the boys are on the road. We got the biggest show we've ever done in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Pennsylvania.

at the Met. If you're in a tri-state area, get tickets for that. The boys are having a good fucking time. Be there in a couple of days. A couple of days. Then all the other cities we just announced for 2026 are on the website right now available. We're doing some club weekends.

Those dates are going quick. How about that? Look at us. Get your techies. Finally, club weekend. I was never really the thing we were striving for. Finally. I'd do the weekend.

A couple of birthdays. Sure. I might host a couple of these. Get back into it. Yeah. host to Laughhouse. I gave out a fair amount of blowjob shots of my day. You could have stopped it. He didn't need shots in there. I know that's how you used to get your stage time, huh?

That would have been a... Okay, easy does it. Easy does it there. This is a public family episode. Speaking of blowjobs, let's cruise by the old corner office. Say hi to the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the boss. His son over there, Mr. Luke Dempsey. Calling to the stage, Mr. H. Bollet. It's like two tall speaking of hands.

Two pressed hands. Ten pounds of shit in a five-pound bag. How you done? A little junk in the trunk. Drive hit me. Oh, ma'am. As I said, a lot of talk about this big merger with the Dempsey group. No one's told you.

I've been hearing of things. The trades. A happy hour afterwards downtown by Wall Street. A lot of people are. The street's talking. That would be our propaganda arm I said you guys You guys are shaking

Dude, they got the press It's a direct attack Direct attack Until it comes across my desk You know We're not for sale Maybe you don't know Maybe you're out

We'd only sell it a blackwater Is that the No Why That's the mercenary group Yeah they got cash Fuck you think They don't name no band leaders

Okay They're gonna use this Go over there Take out the Taliban Are they still a problem I got some stuff Yeah I don't know

I don't know nothing This is not the show. I don't know. We went down. Real dark ops and fucking. It ain't the show, gang. I got something I wanted to get into. Talk to me.

My door's always open. We've been, you know, we come from dirt bags. We've been dirt bags our whole life. Never claimed to be nothing short of a little dirty kids. Too many lions. I had to get on the patties and bringing the Christmas stuff out of the garage. Man, they're in a dirt bag. Talk about a scumb bag.

weekend getting yelled at yeah i mean you're 50 bunch of wreaths over by fucking the chlorine buckets for the pool all bleached shit's like you got albino rees now yeah yeah crazy you ever have to do stuff like that you're the worst son i'm i'm the worst son i'm down there doing it complain and then coming in front of like 200 000 people or whatever don't why i got to tell them about my day i do it what do you mean we're boys me and patty sure sure shepherd's pie goes a long way yeah Easy way to your heart. Yeah, she packed one up. It looks like a, like, she made a fucking, what's it called?

Pressure cooker bomb. That's why we're selling a Blackwater. We got to get fucking boots on a ground. Keep your enemies close, you know what I mean? It's an hour and a half drive. She packed it in one of those styrofoam coolers, which I don't know where to fuck she got that. That's what they do with organs. Yeah.

I heard a bunch of ice going and I'm like, I'm going an hour and a half. And I'm probably going to have a bite in the clock. I probably going to stop this far away. Knock this bad boy down. Stop and get a fountain coke. A fountain cake Oh man I remember

Like a fountain drink My cousin Jenny Shout out to her The one that's married De Myers Yes Lovely gal Lovely

She was old She was older You know We were hung over She goes Oh She was like laying on the couch Down the shore

After like a long night A tully nuts Or whatever She's like I just need a fountain kook And I remember That was my first real memory of like

Oh right Fountain Cokes Hit different when you're hung over. And I knew that, like, I knew it, but I just had never, like, verbal. I think the bottle or cans don't hit, it's a little too thick. It's funny. I always thought, have you ever gone to a fast food place and just got a drink?

Probably. But, like. I pick, that's the ultimate fat chick move to me. When a chick would show up at work and she was like, I just got to say it. Oh, thinking she's lying. No. Believe in her. Okay. That's just a real dirtbag fat chick move.

Okay. I don't know if I fully... Get it? I mean, so you're at work at a restaurant in the city? No, it's when I worked in an office. Huh. I was... So do it now, do you really think she didn't get an egg McMuffin?

No, she got some. Yeah, okay. That's her line. We do the same thing. I do the same thing all the time. I know. Honey. I didn't mean a gender it. Should have been, honey. It's me.

You're done. Come on. You can see a biscuit for me here. A little bit of biscuit on that lip. Butter all over your fingers. Come on. Even fingerprints all over the job. But sleeping together for two weeks.

Can't be honest with me? No. So, you know, New York City. I'm on the street. Really painting a picture here, aren't you? Taking my dog, my beautiful dog right over there. I'm taking my dog for a walk. I'm on the Hans Cam.

Hey, Hansi. We, I turn around. A nice thing. Nice looking family walks by me. Grandparents. Yeah. Mom, dad. Probably around my age-ish.

The mom and dad are your age? Yeah. Huh. What? I don't know. Is that... What do you get about? Do they have kids?

Yeah. Stroller? That's why I would say the mom and that. No, it's a young boy. Maybe five. I don't know. I have a six-month-old, so that's all I know. So this kid could have been 14 or five.

I think he was... Let's call it five or six. Would you say you're ahead of the game or behind the game for kids? You're a, for... Oh, I am. I'm 39 years old. I'm old. Oh, really?

Real old. You got to get cracking. I'm just going to adopt a full-grown man. Have sex with him. Hey. What? It's my stepson. Or my adopted son.

It's my stepdaddy. There's somebody to hang out with. You adopt a step daddy? How you do? Zaddy? You need a zaddy. What's that? Zatarans.

Oh, that's what I need. Little bit of Satterlands rice. So it's a whole family. Multi-generational. Mm-hmm. Right? Mom. So it's grandparents, mom, dad.

Probably around my age. 35 to 40, call it. Okay. You know what I mean? With a 14-year-old? No, it's joking. Oh. Six, probably five, six-year-old.

What should you have? What? How old should your kids be? I knew your head was somewhere else. If you're 39. I mean, I'm cooked. I know that. I'm jammed out.

You're well done. What are you talking cooked? Yeah. I would say, look at the New York's obvious. What? Ten? Yeah, I mean, my friends have kids that are. Oh, that's right.

You know. Yeah. Eight. I think 30. If you're a career-minded individual, probably 30. You start having kids 28-ish, probably. Yeah, starts around 27 and a half. Most mothers are 30 now.

New York, they're old, too. New York, it's like. The old broads. Sure. You know, we're aligned to ourselves like we're still young. But I'm 50s. What? You know, I was at a, I was at a 55 and older community this weekend.

Checking out real estate. No. Couple more years. I'll be hanging out with you, boys. No, I had to go to a family function. At a 55 and older community? That's where my aunt lives. They tip.

I thought they went, I thought it was like a dorm. You're not allowed to have parties. No, this place, you joined nice. condos, apartments, single family? Because those are big now those Toll Brothers don't know single family. Yeah, I think it's a mix of them. I think they got condos, they got carriage houses, and they got, which one, it's all golf course stuff. Gotcha.

It's all golf course. Nice course, public course? No, private. Why are you fucking yelling at me? Because I don't want you on my property. I don't want you on my aunt's, my old aunt's property. Okay. Spring chicken, she moves around a lot.

You should move into a 55. They have a nice 55 and older community in New York, I saw, like luxury. This is what I'm saying. Am I really five years away from that? That's crazy. Is your aunt only 55? No. She just moved in.

Yeah, I mean, numerically. That's crazy. That I could live in one of those things. I'm supposed to be like, that's like inching toward retirement. You too, but buddy, you're, you haven't started thinking about retirement. You should start thinking about retirement. What's sort of think about? Money.

Fucked It's crazy, dude It's crazy It's so nuts I don't want to live In one of those things though But I probably do well in there I look young

Sure It seems See what the next five years does You know what the one of the One of the crucial five 50 to 55 is what they call In the business A crucial

I'm gonna drink a lot of water Uh huh That'll do it Drink a lot of water You know one of the old guys told me I was asking him I was like what's it like living in here You know what I mean?

Yeah you mean? I don't know why. Now, tell me, elaborate more on how to ask a question. Because there were dudes like, to a guy your age. There were dudes like hanging out in the clubhouse separate from where we were. And I was just poking my head around. Pitching pennies and stuff. What did you do? They, a couple old schoolers.

Yeah. You know what I mean? A couple of Vietnam vets. You know, they're crazy. Vietnam vet. I could be in there five years. They'd still be alive. They're crazy. I mean, I think it's crazy because you really don't understand that you're 50 years old.

that's like that's the craziest part I'm I think I'm more aware of it than you are for sure I bet you are I don't know what that means I don't know they're expensive though you're better off shit you're better off enough you gotta sign your house over to you gotta sign everything over to them I gotta get a house first

oh man I'm really behind me I'm fucking jammed the fuck up I got no kids to help me move either nothing I asked the guy I was like what's I like living here he's like it's awesome yeah it's like it's like it's like it's like a cruise ship that never set sail. I was like, and he kind of winked at me. You love a dumb saying like that. You can get wrapped up by some old-timer guy your age telling you how it is.

Well, he kind of gave me a wink like. Probably fucking having a stroke or something. He's seasoned out and you're over there running his pocket. Taking that gold watch he got on there. That's his happy birthday, Barry. He congrats on the retirement. He's a gift for Mr. Matt Farron. I kind of gave me the wink like you know yeah were you only guy there in a cool flannel shirt

like what were the other 50 guys in there what were the other guys what was he wearing he had a shirt tucked in nice belt pair of slacks nice pair of shoes those guys all kicked jeans with a collared shirt and a sweatshirt that says like the Arizona or something like that whatever here says Arizona Ice tea. Whatever life accomplishment that they had. What would your say? Gobbage. I, you garbage.

Mine would say the same thing. I think you'd be great in one of those. We've talked about it. I think you could fall in. I'm sure if we even talked to them, maybe we gave a couple of free ad. You could get in there. Get in there early.

You could be to run the roost. You'd be the spokesman. They seemed really. It seemed really. Yeah. They're chilling. They got a nice prop, nice new house probably. Fucking trim as far as the eye can see. But he gave me to wink. He gave me to wink like it's like... It's known to go down.

I'm going there and give everybody syphilis. Jesus Christ. Why'd you cry? I'm a Catholic. Starting when? About three seconds. About three seconds before I die. Don't dump that on your head. I got to do is say an act like attrition and I'm in.

Nah, nah, any. More they're going to act on nutrition. That's rude. Kimby, or a frames, or frames, or frames, or frames. I'll say it again, or a friggin' frames. That's what you yell when you're looking for a last minute, a lifesaver on a gift. That's what you yell when it shows up and is the lifesaver.

You go, or a frames. Exactly. What last minute? What do you mean you should be thinking this out? But if you get jammed up and you're looking for a last minute gift idea, it's got to be an order frame. Every woman in your life should have an order frame. Digital photos, uploaded, bang, see what the kids are doing, see what you're up to. Stay in touch with your loved ones.

And it's easy. These old broads that are under technology. You get that stuff right there on the countertop. All I got to do is look. Yeah, listen, if you're a bozo like me, which I am well documented, bozo, I'm bad at giving gifts, never done it right. Ask my wife. Asked my mom. The only time I've come correct is with or a frames.

I get it. They open it up. Your mom goes, oh my God, I've seen these. Peggy's got one. You see the kids. There you go. Shep it. It's so friggin easy.

I cannot stress. The thought process that goes into buying an oarframe is zero. Boom. Orrame, carver mat out the door. And the reaction you get, it'll keep you in a will if you catch my drift. For a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting oraframes.com to get $35 off. Orrame's best-selling Carver, Matt Frame, name number one by wirecutter by using the promo code garbage at checkout. That's A-U-R-A-R-A-Frams.com.

promo code garbage. This deal is exclusive to our listeners and the frames will sell out fast. So order yours now to get in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us to check out terms and conditions of blood down. Kip, True Classics. True Classics. True Classics. Is there a little bit of news over there from the big man about True Classics?

Then I'm back into true classics. Back in the TCs, dog. I'm back into true classics. I got about 15 of them. I'm going through them. I'm enjoying them. The way they feel on my arms, the way they feel around my tummy.

They get better when you wash them. It's unbelievable. They're the best t-shirt I've ever had. Over 25 million shirts sold to 5 million customers. More than 200,000 five-star reviews. How about that? And here's the turkey. They don't just make t-shirts no more.

No. All right? They're not just trying to show. shoes no more. True Classic's getting a little bit of everything. They got it all, baby. Get it all. That's why True Classics makes a perfect gift this holiday season, whether you're shopping for your dad, your brother, your partner, or now even the women and kids in your life. True Classes has something for everyone. The same premium comfort and perfect fit that built

the brand are now available for the whole family. Listen, you want to flex on your dad, your in-law, your girlfriend or wife's husband or father, hit them with a pack at ease. they're going to go, oh, t-shirts, they're going to put them on, and they're going to walk in to work. And they're going to put it on it. Oh, this is something. Timmy got me. I'm going to throw it on and wear it at a gym.

He's going to get to the gym. He's going to look like he's doing cycles. Not even going to know. Cycles of windstrawl. Not even going to know. Skip the guesswork and the overpriced designer stuff. Give comfort, give confidence, give true classics. You can find them at Amazon, Target, Costco, and Sam's Club.

Or head to trueclassics.com. This is what I would do. Yes. Head to trueclassics.com. S garbage to grab the perfect gift for everyone on your list. Do it. So what? So you're talking to this old guy?

What? Old guy? What are you talking about? There's a family and with a kid who's about five or six years old. Where are you now? I'm on the street. Where? Nice street.

Up by me. Okay. Yeah. For the reason I pictured you in Times Square. So what are you thinking? I was like the cookie monsters. Trying to make ends meet. I got flyers.

Who needs two? Life comedy. Got to get the big man. Gotta get the big man in a fucking 55. I've been older. Those things are expensive. You got cash to get in there. Yeah.

Probably get a roommate, though. Bunk up one of those old guys. Start hitting a happy hour, which is at three. Early bird special. Doing early bird breakfast. 4 a.m. You all done? No.

So they're walking. They walk by me. I say, oh, nice family. Now I'm a family man. You know what I mean? Sure. I noticed that stuff a little. little bit. I go there's the mom, the dad.

I've heard you yelling, yeah. They're in the, what? What? You hear me, yo. Ah, like a dad. Yes. No, but I just see, like, I'm like, oh, in my head, I go, oh, that's cute. The fucking parents are in town visiting, you know, something, something. What's that?

You know, just kind of, I'm understanding it. And then Hans is peeing, as he does, a telephone pole, whatever. I look over. Their kid, they're about 20 feet away from me now. Mm-hmm. It's five or six. pants fully down at the ankles. Yeah?

And he's peeing on a tree. Broad daylight. New York City. Hippy shit. We're about 50 yards from multiple coffee shops, restaurants, places. Of business? The kid could go to the bathroom. What's your vibe on that?

I mean, I got to be honest with you. I don't really give a shit. I don't. I don't know. necessarily care. I'm not like writing the fucking, you know, I'm not writing my neighborhood watch. I do think it's a little uncouth. Yeah, I'll give you that. I mean, go between a car. Have the dad stand there. Go between a car. Yeah, I'll give you that. You're peeing where to dog pees. Yeah. Are we not civil? In the woods, by all means. But I'm, listen, between the, like,

against a wall, this kid's just fucking. I'm big on peeing outside, though. I love that freedom. Hand up. Big pee outside guy. Is this a spot like I would know up there by you? Right in front of my building. What? Yes. Oh, well, that's crazy. Thank you.

Main Street. Not even like we dipped off. Like his little noodles just sticking out there? I saw the back half. Jesus Christ. And I'm going like... What are European? I don't think so.

That looked like pretty... I mean, they were a little crunchy. A little crunchy, but looked like they had cash. Maybe the kid did it and they didn't know. Maybe it's a bit. What do you mean? They were the whole fucking multi-generational standing there watching them. And even if he's doing it as a bit, you fucking, yo.

Did they circle around them? No, not even, not even give them coverage. You know how many times we pulled over on the fucking AC Expressway, hey, I got to pee, I'm not going to make it the far. Yeah, you open the two doors. Open the two doors. A little bit. Listen, I don't care if a grown man peas outside.

I've been jammed the fuck up. We've been on the road. I've had a shit at a Home Depot. You go in, whatever. That's got to happen. You make an attempt. They were peeing like we were on a fucking commune. It was crazy.

Jesus. Should be locked up for that. Going between a car, have the dad go, I got your bat. At least, hey, sorry. Plus, you get caught looking. That's not good for you. I'm over there. I'm looking at fucking six-year-old cheeks.

I'm trying to walk the dog. You can fucking lock me up. That hell's going on here. Yeah, what the fuck? I don't know. It's just like, I don't know what that would take anybody. It used to be more shame involved. Dude, there was, I mean, this was a celebration.

Peeing in the woods was one thing. That's different. like you said. Yeah, if you're in the woods and you're with everybody, you just take three steps to the right. Dude, if you're tailgating, pee between, like, I get you're going to pee outside. I'm not even, I'm pro peeing outside.

But we would do it on the side of the road like we were going to get in trouble if we got caught. Yeah, like the fucking, the feds were going to come in and swoop in. Yeah, State Trooper come pull behind you. This is new, this is Manhattan. Take my ear away from me. Manhattan. Fucking bird out, peeing. Did your mom ever do that?

What? Well, did you ever pull over To have to pull over so a lady could pee? No Not travelers Uh No, I don't think so Not that I can recall

But also like we're never anywhere We're not like, you know, driving through the fucking Salt Flats or something where there's nowhere to go As a kid I was so intrigued by Ladies Peeing Not like that Okay Okay

I've seen the videos. N'uh. I'm hearing the wetwork, huh? I just didn't understand it. I don't know what it would take for my dad. And again, we're dirt bags. But, like, just to go, just pee on the broad daylight on the side. No, like.

Between a car. Was he peeing in grass or on the sidewalk? Like, was it concrete? It might have been, he might have been, like, in, like, a little patch of, like, dirt, essentially. The fuck? Right? Fucking New York City, Jack. Like, what the fuck, man?

I put that thing in a holster, kids. Yeah. Wild. Also, I wanted to go up to the parents and be like, what the fuck is this? If your kid has to go to the bathroom, I get it, it's an emergency. We're fucking around the corner, around the corner from multiple coffee shops. A restaurant, hey, my five-year-old has to go to the bathroom. Great, go.

You got to buy something, but still. They don't even do that. Get a cup of coffee. Yeah. Yeah. That old bag probably needs one. He's probably falling asleep. Kid don't need anything to drink dope.

Fucking be pulling over every 10 feet. That's crazy. I know. I was just like, that to me is like not dirt bag behind. That's like, I don't know what? That's trashy behavior. What's next? The kid's taking a dump?

I don't know. I don't come from a family that without that. We're a shameful Irish Catholic guilt, shameful family. Yeah, small weiner. Sure. But I don't know what. I don't know what. I don't know at what age.

That would ever be appropriate. Go between a car. Car. Hide a little bit. Give me something. You know what I mean? Crazy. I wanted to tell you about this real quick.

I've been exposed to this. Okay. Nice word of transition. Did you see that they have these biodegradable sandwich bags now? What? Yeah. It's like a fucking dog. It's like a...

I've seen the doggy bags. Doggy bags. Like they all have biodegradable, like... dog poop bags. That's what you feel like you're pulling a sandwich out of. I swear to God. They're brutal. Listen, I'm all for the environment and all that stuff.

But these things are. Oh, they come in the cardboard. Dude, they're like chalky. Yeah, they have like a sawdust inside of them kind of. What the fuck, man? I got mashed potatoes. I can't eat it. I got greens, beans, potatoes.

I can't eat them. It's like something took a dump in there. It ruined my mind. I got to over mashed potatoes. I'd throw them out. Couldn't do it. You threw them out. Throw him out.

Look at me. I'm looking at you. He threw him out. Yeah. Uncross your testicle. They're always crushed. Need a surgeon. Yeah, I'm not all about.

I don't like that. I didn't like that. I didn't like that press and seal stuff they tried pulling on us, too. Remember that? Press and seal. Yeah, you would get like a plate and it would be like saran wrap. But it had like a stickiness to it and you would like run your finger around the edge and it would seal. Oh, I don't mind that.

Nah, same thing. It was like, it was just like, imagine like a big sheet of dull scotch tape. Yeah. And then like the sauces on that. Nah. We just needed to stop when we did the yellow and blue make green. Remember? I'm good with that.

Yeah. And the commercial they put the bees in there holding them over the guy's head. I'm good. You know, I like the zipper now. We'll do the zipper. I like the zipper. That's classy. And I know it's for the environment and all that kind of stuff.

Fuck the environment. All right. All right. Well, just save it somewhere else. I'm with you. I hate that it's on me. Hey, you got to change my fucking sandwich bag? How about the guy who owns fucking hefty

stops zipping around in his private jet? That way I wouldn't have to fucking eat dog shit bags. You just think he flies private? The guy who owns hefty? Do you have no teeth? I do have teeth. Look, somebody was talking shit, saying, I don't know teeth. I get teeth here.

Take him out of your pockets. I got teeth right here. All that's neither here. You know that. We got a gosh darn family episode on our hands, gang. As you know, when you enjoyed the old Patreon, you'll answer your garbage question on the air. It's the only way to get a crack at it. Sign up. Sign up.

Join a fucking, join the-in-you-hitting me up. Join all the one-legged army of bozos, army of homies over there. Let's see. Speaking of drive. Okay, this is from Zinister. $10 homie never have one read. Are you garbage if you go through the drive-thru, eat in your car, then go back. inside to get a refill no that's not trashy well yeah okay that's dirt I mean I'm on I'm

fine with it I was always a big get my food pull right up into the parking spot and eat it of course a hundred my I learned that from my dad my mom so we did but let me ask you this all right so I'm okay with that if you being on the street before you get out of town go top off maybe use the bathroom what really is play place what really is. Hop in a ball pit. Hey, I bought my nuggets. My money's no good here.

Roddy. Out of my way, kid. Hey, your mom's pretty hot. Talking to me. No. Eating in the car. You're on the property. It's kind of like you're eating in.

Right? I don't hate that. They have seats outside in a lot of places. You should be able to go in and use the facilities. Oh, yeah. You're 100% allowed to. 100%. You know what I saw a TikTok

recently? You know how there's that crazy long line at Chick-fil-A? Did you see this TikTok? Oh, I know what you're talking about. He pulls up and he's like, I just need to grab sauce or something. I'm just grabbing napkins. Napkins. And I go, okay. Hey, what do you fucking undercutting the story? What the fuck, dude? That was

crazy. That was that was so nuts. I'm like, I'm drawing. I'm trying to paint a to paint somewhat of a picture and you just

fucking turn to the last page and read the ending. That was crazy, dude. That was so funny. Have you ever done this before? I mean, we gotta fill four hours a week and you're

chopping me off. That's so funny. No, it's hilarious. That's so good. I mean, if it's not my story. You should have saw the look on your face. I didn't even realize

I was doing it. Ah, shit. You take somebody's order. No. Yeah, and they go, oh, Charlie? And he goes, yeah, that's me. Just grabs Charlie's order and rolls. But I don't understand that

that was like a parking facility. How big is Chick-fil-A? Oh, you've never seen a suburban one? Like, that was a person that was, she was. in a separate booth at the beginning of the parking lot. She wasn't in the building where they sell their sandwiches. No, no, no, no. She was in her own little hut.

No, I think she was like under an overhand. Yeah, I don't know. I don't have the details. Maybe you saw the video. It's crazy. In and out does that. They'll have a runner go down the line through the drive-thru and take orders. Oh, yeah, that's what, have you never seen, I don't know if you see.

They're moving that kind of weight. Dude, the one I went, I swear to God, I'm not even fucking out. It was 60 cars. And they got multiple people going down. So you're just waiting there. They got people going out, what do you have and what do you have and what do you have it? And they're on like an iPad tapping it to fuck in. And they're moving units out there.

Units. Chick-fil-a's killing it that much. Crazy. Crazy. They don't even put mayonnaise on the sandwiches. Yeah. It's just a pickle. With chicken head juicyy who needs to?

You know what I mean? Don't get me. Yeah. I need a little mayo. Yeah. Or some of that chick-fil-a-sau. I don't. Yeah.

Nah, there's something so fucking. I get no. pickies. There's something so pure just about that bun and that chicken. Wash down with a couple of muggies. Would a fountain saida. Ooh. Found cake. I found cake. I found day cook.

And then waffle fries are all right. Yeah, everything about it's great. And it feels healthy. I know it's wrong and I'm a fat piece of shit. Well, docked, you're saying it doesn't? No, it does. Are they franchises? I like the fact that like the cups even, styrofoam cups. So it's not like heavy. It's everything.

the nuggets are smaller so they don't feel like as it's just We should bring back, listen I know I'm really killing the environment this episode But styrofoam cups, let's bring them back Are they that bad? I don't know Find out like, find out the brass tacks on like This is getting crazy though

What? The styrofoam cups man with that crushed ice, forget about it. It's the best. Yeah. You think Burger King could fucking use some styrofoam cups? You guys are tanked? I never remember.

I never remember Styrofoam cups at Burger King. No, they never had them, but just think how good they'd be doing if they had them. It's true. The problem is really they don't go away. Yeah, they're not biodegradable. Neither is coal source, and I got one of them. Coulsource. All right, let's see here.

This one, I don't know if we've recently talked about. I feel like we might have. This is from Hulk, $10 Long Island homie here. Is it garbage to a 50-50 at your wedding? getting married in September and trying to make an extra buck. Oh, you bastard. They then said we're close to also, Kippie and Follah if you guys really want to come,

we're about 30 minutes from you. Someone said, hey, I'm from Bayshore. Is it an open bar? So they're viable. And he said, yeah, for sure. If you really want to cut it, it's not like an invite, great invite. No.

If you guys want to come, feel free to come out. It's 30 minutes from you. You said, you put the really. I'm sorry. You're a real fucking stickler today, aren't you? A little bit. A 50-50 at a wedding is so fun to me. So fun.

You get your gift and you go, hey, guys, honeymoon fun, whatever, whatever fun. We're doing a 50-50. I'd be drunk and buy a fucking, what are the tickets? Oh, give me $100. There you go. You're a good kid. So let's say it's two grand. The person who won gets a thousand and then the couple gets a thousand.

And then you'd hope maybe. Give it back? Yeah. Give it back half. You're back half. What, my beak? I got a, you know, I had to rent a tucks maybe if I'm in a wedding. Would you?

You wouldn't give the whole thing back? I'd probably give the whole thing back. I'd throw it in there. I'd make a big speech. I'd make a spectacle out of it. You definitely get to make a speech. You win, you get to make a speech. Or maybe you know what I would do?

I'd give them half. Say it's two grand. Well, run the numbers on that. How many people are to a wedding? Average wedding, say 100. Say 200. What's that? That's 10 bucks a clip?

I think you'd probably do more than two grand. You're doing me $10 a clip. It's also smart. They're doing the open bar. So you're getting, it's like you're getting some drunk guys coming in later. Guys are drunk going, ah, give me 40, give me 50, give me $20. Here's the only problem. You're going to do more than $2,000.

I love this idea and more dirtbags should fucking do it. Here's the only problem with that. Especially if you're paying for the wedding yourself. Everybody always comes to the wedding understacked with cash. That's, I feel completely wrong. Really? The guys I roll, like the dirt bags I roll. All the fucking pipe fitters, the pline.

Everybody in my family who's a blue collar worker has cash. I never had cash because I... Have you ever brought more than $7 to a wedding? Weddings, I like to bring $100 minimum cash. Yeah, you got to be your debt... Is that broken up or a hundred? Broken up, usually 520s. That's all ones.

I want it at a time. There's plenty of more where that came from. Big Wad. You got a five on the outside? No, always. Everybody, I feel like everybody has cash at a wedding. Yeah, for the tip. That's like you stop and get cash on a way to a way.

You stop and tap mac. All right, good. I love this idea. I like it too. It's no rub off anybody's back. Hey, if you want to do it, hey, we're doing a 50-50. You're creating money. You're creating a pot.

No one's getting hurt. I mean, the people are getting hurt. They're out 50 bucks, $20. Whatever. You're having a good time. What's an extra 50? You're having a good time. I think it's great.

I think you would get more people to do it Because it's going to Listen, everybody's there They just watch your trade vows It's love we're celebrating I love Tammy, I love Jason I'm fucking all fucked up on You know whatever they're throwing out

At the open bar Cover those expenses Those you know Oh we forgot that we got to tip the priest We got to do whatever You gotta whack him off Gotta do that. You gotta take care of that guy

That should take over I think the lowest someone's coming in Is like a thub too Yeah here's 20 bucks That's minimum. The kids are playing. Dad, can I get 20? Dad, let me get 20.

That's like a fucking arcade game. That's the thing you're going to worry about some little fucking. That you're not getting. Hopefully the dad steps back in. Yeah, some little prick fucking getting it. I remember some 11-year-old. We won one of like a C-Y-O. Then you got to fight him.

Karoom's got to pull him aside. Smack him around a little bit. Because you got 11, you're not giving that back up. Well, that's what I'm saying. I remember. won one or we almost won one or someone at a CYO game for like my brother, like a tournament. Maybe someone else won. I remember learning the lesson.

I remember the lesson was you got to give it back. He quits the team. You get his walk out and scumman. Be a chick-fil-A. That's losers. My dad going, you got to get you. The guy didn't kick it back in. I remember my dad being like.

for the church or what you're for the kids church you got to kick it's for the kids you got to kick it back in a catholic youth league or something like that that's a tough position i remember being like fuck that they get their half i get my half suck my dick how much was it i forget i don't know if we want i just remember learning the lesson i think we were judging he was judging a guy the bigger it is if it's like 15 grand i ain't i ain't i ain't parted with that 15 grand on tax right Well, yeah, what if the wedding? What do you mean? I'm not going to say nothing. Okay, my kind of guy. That's a one-time gift under 17 grand. Those things don't get taxed today? I don't know.

Was it cash? If it's a wedding and it's 15 grand. I guess we're not making 30 grand. I mean, how many people are this fucking wedding? It's a big affair with some very well-to-do people. Sounds it. I love doing 50-50s, apparently. If you're inviting that many rich people to your wedding,

you don't need a host of 50-50. This should be like an Elks bar, a VFW, the barn. Talking about five grand. I think that dude, I mean, I think if you can come up with 15, 2 grand, if you, that's amazing. That's such like a fucking game team. 2,500 walking out the door. For two guys who are bootstrapped, two guys, guys, gals, whatever that are bootstrapping

her wedding. I love that. I don't think you can do it if like the groom's mom paid for it. It's like you take what you get from the gifts. That's the deal. We've all, for some reason, have come. accustomed to. Somebody else pays for the wedding.

You get to keep the gifts. It's this one time start off lump sum to buy a house or something. But you can't be... You can't be running a fucking... You can't be playing three-carbanty game going. And also, you're not paying for the fucking wedding. You can only do this if you paid for the wedding.

All right, cool. There. Kippy has spoken. Do you have to give it all back? Like, in these... I've never really played the 50-50. I've never won a 50. 50-50.

I think it depends. Depending on what it is. It's like a kid cancer or something like that. That's obvious. You can't walk out of there with that. Yeah. If it's like a fundraiser for like a good. I mean like,

they'll do them just to raise money and they're going, we're okay with raising this money for if it's a sad or emotional. But if it's like Shriners or something like that, they got that. They don't need that. They don't need your $1,200. I don't think Shriners is doing 50-50s, dude. See what Shriners.

The Shriners made last year. It's probably like fucking $80 billion. Which is a great institution. It's what my fat were a big Shriners family. Of course. Fucking. I always say that kid in the wheel. That kid moves tickets.

Uh-huh. He's good. But yeah, shout out to the 50-50. And if you've done it. What? In 2023, the total revenue does anyone want to guess? $5 billion. $1.1 billion.

Good for that. Doing a Lord's work. 50-50. I'll be a fucking $2.2 billion dollar 50-50. idiot. I give it that back. Nah. We should.

Listen, also too. Keep the blanket with the bear on it. I'm out of here. When we talked about, if we do that like what we talked about with, I was going to call her aunt Patty,

Miss Pat. No. Oh. The fan apprited. The block party or whatever. The block party fan appreciation thing. I'll be mad if you give it back. We'll do a 50-50.

You keep it. We'll donate the other half to somebody. We'll donate our half. Yes. To me. To Kevin Ryan Industry. No. Yeah, we'll donate.

So let's, loosely. I want to do it a VFW or something like that. Knights of Columbus. Something real of our time. Can we get mashed potatoes and meatballs and coleslaw? All fucking chafing trays. Nice. I got a caterer already fucking eyed out.

Keep it in a family. Really? Keeping it in a family. What? Who do you got? I don't ask me fucking questions like that. We'll have to go down there and taste. She steak egg rolls.

Oh, I know you're talking about. You don't know nothing about nothing. Doesn't the VFW do it? You can use it in-house. So we used to do it at... If you want their meatballs, you've got to do it in-house. See if you can get the rate on Fran Lees. No, it's not Fran Lees.

It's the Polonia. The Polonia in Bridesburg. That's where our family party used to be. We moved it. Fran Lees, Chinese? No. Fran Lees is one of the first live comedy shows I saw. Was a, like, a beef and beer kind of comedy show.

for someone's baseball team. Remember the comics? Yeah. Do we know them? Yeah. No way. Who was it? One guy's name was like Johnny the attitude.

He had like wrote some jokes for Letterman. Uh-huh. And opened. Yeah? Good buddy of ours. Who? Richie Reddy. No kidding.

Uh-huh. Bomb. Richie? Well, he killed with Arthur. It was all like not for, it was a 100% hell gig. So Richie always kills. He did well with the few younger. groups.

Gotcha. And we were like, we were so drunk. And he's sober. And we were like, here you want to go. We're going to Kavanaugh's River deck. We're like, you want to come hang with us? He's like, no, I'm good, man. By the way, I forgot to tell you.

There's more hard feelings. Uh-huh. But somebody asked me. Oh, boy. Does this have to do with me? A little bit. Okay. I don't like this at all.

I don't like that. They wanted us to do a comedy night for a nonprofit. Okay, I'd be open to that. How nonprofit are we talking? How nonprofit? And where? Philadelphia area? I believe so.

Who do you know? This has to be. This has some sort of tax scam written all over it. What do you have on Polone? Do you have the Polonia Hall? I have one in Bayonne, New Jersey. Now. For 1,400 on Fridays and 1700 on Saturdays.

That's a good deal. Does that come with food? Believe not. Damn. Ploane Hall of Philadelphia over there on Belgrade Street. Hall Reynolds Reviews. This place. It's got to...

This is like walking... I can smell it. Yeah, it's walking back into time, dude. It's a... What's that bartender like? She's great. It's the same broad every year. We grease the shit out of her.

This is it. They've saved as her flat. The door out of two liters, I think. Oh. It's like a fucking warm two-liter getting dumped in there. It's a great hall. They got caterers in-house that they use sometimes. It's exactly what you have.

Got the stage. Chicken francis? Got it all, dog. Salad? Raised potatoes. Big thing of salad. The dinner rolls in a basket with the cloth napkins kind of tipped over like they're spilling out. Yeah.

Like a cornucopia. Classy. Just learn what that is. You know what a cornucopia is? I just learned. I knew before. Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie? You know.

All right. Speaking, I mean, we're all, this is a very taxi, what are we talking about? Charity type thing here. This is from Joey Bag of Donuts, and Luke, you're going to have to get eyes on this. Am I garbage for mentioning the Bass Pro Shop tax scam whenever I can after learning of it? Basically, they're considered a nonprofit because they conduct teaching within their stores. Put the fucking pond in there. Damn it. So they're teaching, I guess, fishing.

I don't know. But that can't be. Maybe the money, that can't make sense. The government's, you, I mean, the amount of money. The Bar-you-Garbage School of Broadcasting. I mean, we've joked about this. You've got to go religion. Also, I don't think our account would go for this at all.

No? I don't think, I mean, we don't make enough money. It's store by store, really. Really? So it's like some stores are able to claim that they're using. because they'll have displays of like certain wildlife and stuff like that. Which guys do that with art? Yes.

Yes. And then you can write it off as a donation to their on, they did it on billions. I could teach a podcast thing, couldn't I? I mean, I could, I think. No, not the business side, but I had a host. Sure. Hey, everybody, all that stuff. Come up with your own catchphrase.

Get these suckers. You'd be such a bitch, dude. he'd be like Gerald Lambo from fucking good one is it about the Fields Medal it's always about the Fields Medal good Lord it would be you'd be fucking Gerald Lambo dude she wouldn't have a drink with me tonight scarf on hitting on all the trim I remember what a scumbag I thought he was when he did that and I was I was fucking I don't know 13 or 14 I was like ew dude you're a teacher

no she wouldn't have a drink with me tonight you was drinking like a glass of shambly gimlet or something like that hey yeah just a glass of shamae Hey Fuckin, why don't you come over here I'll fucking twist your head off Dirtball You smashed my tooth on the mic I thought it fell out for a second

Not scared the shit out of me, dude Sorry, I don't like breaking the fourth wall That really scared like That would be my first lesson in the school Don't bang your teeth on the thing Never put your tongue on the microphone You just did it No I didn't

It tastes like metal Step number one Gid herpes Hey What? You don't like the truth. I don't have herpes. I get a cold source, dickhead.

You shut up. That's what you're saying in the class. Hey, Mr. Foley? What's that herpy on your face? It's not herpes. It's a cold sword dickhead. That you won't have a drink with me tonight. I'm wearing this.

I caught myself shaving on my weaner. I don't have it on my wiener, dickhead. A bit in the hand in a wrestling match. Last summer at Fire Island A trundle bed What's a trundle bed? You tell me I know what a Murphy bed is

That's a guy named Murphy in your bed Yo, Murph How much of a loser Was that guy have been? Who you? No, the guy that came up with the Murphy bed He probably thought he was hot shit, dude He comes over

Hey, you flip it You know it You know sleeping in the living room. You know you walked in and he had it up. It was like, yeah, it's just my entertainment center. Good news. It drops the bill.

That makes you ladies hot. There's a broad in there. That's 50 shit, though. A lot of New Yorkers do it, and I get it. No. Yeah. You got a Murphy bed right in to the H-Fuller School broadcasting. Would you let me run a school?

Separate entities. Separate entities. I'm not here. Separate LLC. Yeah. But I need to do it here. Why? I'll rent the space.

Okay. Franchise it. What? Chicken franchisees. Do you think I'd have some knowledge to teach anybody, Luke? I think you, I, compliment time, put your compliment head on? What you have can't be taught and you don't know you have it. I like that.

Yeah. That was just enough to squash the idea. That great. Crisis a verdict. I will not freak out You can teach it at the 55 and older community Oh fuck Yeah those old bags probably all want to start podcast

Fucking yapping about this and that That's what do we do They probably want to do for our grandkids and shit That's pretty good Hey record this podcast and give it to the grandkids And them telling stories Yes Cut that

Yeah That's my idea That was in things you're doing Denver when you're dead that's just basically telling your life story so you could have it when you're dead and your grandkids want to know you got real dark in things are doing dead for one of you're dead though

well they will have that yeah the one guy was like fuck these bitches you're creating that right now what do you mean our kids my kids will know what we were up to do you think about that no my kid's gonna look back at this this is all damn I didn't I mean I haven't really thought about that

I don't start bitching up Now. What? Trying to present yourself like a decent citizen. Good Lord, this man is a lodge. I just start speaking like that. Hey, what's up, buddy? I'm sorry.

Oh, man. That one's so sad. Hey, buddy. Sorry, we can't be here right now. If you're listening to this, I'm no longer here. Henry died years ago. It's always some, like, really hot dad, too. Like, and it's, like, 35.

If I'm gone, there's no way Henry's still here. Call Luke For any father Tell your mom I'll be home later tonight If you need any money Call Luke Rich ass motherfucker

Something did happen What Would you want me to raise him? No Moving out of the house at least Give him the worst summer ever Yeah that's what he fucking needs Toughin just get up

I just got him digging holes in the backyard Look at For dad Your father's a frugal man He never said nothing code password nothing Safe Any odd keys laying around You mentioned safe deposit box

Here put you're lifting up paintings off the wall He's like four years old Now let me think you're banging a wall Let me know if you hear any dead spots Yeah, there it is stomping on the floor I never know what to listen for with that No

I don't know what it is I think it changed But I could never tell I mean are you really doing this I've done it To hang a picture Oh you'll live on nearly yeah I don't know what it is though

Well dry wall sounds different Then when you get to a study Yeah but I don't know which one's which I get that I'm telling you what And I've I've always fucked up the walls Hammer goes right through right through man I got shit hanging in the apartment now that like If they ever fell on me, it'd kill me.

They'd find me in like two weeks. Murphy bed. Like this heavy-ass fucking, like dual picture thing. You know, like, it's popular now to put, like, instead of just having the picture, it's three fucking things. Like a triptych. You know what a triptych is? Do you know what a triptych is?

You know what a small dick is. Amen, sister. God damn right. What is the thing I pee with, Alex? I got one on me. Keep that thing on me. I'm talking about a daily double, huh? No?

If this thing fell in me, it'd fucking crack my head open. He's staying under and waiting, don't you? It's fucking do me the favor. They're banging on the wall, waiting for a fucking, hoping for an earthquake. Always. I'm always hoping for a little. or something like that. Oh, fuck me.

All right, let's see. This one is he on the toilet. Are you garbage if you hit your vape through your nose to avoid getting a dry socket after a tooth extraction? Goh! I also like how he called it a tooth extraction. Buddy, you haven't earned tooth extraction. You got that shit pulled.

You got that shit pulled, dude. Fuck that. An extraction is what they do to Navy SEALs on a fucking clifftop at Afghanistan. You're not hitting your fucking, what are your milk bar through your nose. Couldn't afford a root canal. Been there, done that. I'm about to have something extracted pretty soon.

Uh-huh. I got a fault line going to do from your butt. I want that out. Stuck, I don't know. Yeah, I got a crack in my tooth. I think it's from just stress from fucking biting your. It's like a proper crack, a fault line. And sometimes when I suck on it, I can, like, taste bacteria.

Cute. Hot girl summer. You stink, dude. Go get your shit fixed. Get your new chomper. I don't like Dennis. I don't trust Dennis. I don't know why.

I was watching. It's very intimate. Anything else I'm cool with. In Mount Sinai, I don't have no Dennis. The hospital? Yeah, how come, Dakken Dennis? Why aren't Dennis associated with the hospital? Quacks.

What do you mean? Private practice. Fuck that. You still have a private practice. You want an orthodontas? I know a good orthodontist. What am I getting braces? You need something.

I just get a start. I need a cleaning. I just get a start. I need a not like an orthodontas. I need a cleaning and I have this looked at. I like how you're like cleaning in this look. You really lump that in like that's part of the cleaning. Plus, I like to go in with that sharp thing.

Your Grand Canyon tooth, you got cooking out there. Fucking yellows to the mouth. Like a buffalo running around. Yikes. People always get too close to them. It's crazy I mean Stupid

Do you know what it would have to take For me to get got by something that big I don't I don't take to get me to Yellowstone We were at me and my wife Kevin Costner That'd be it My wife wants to go to Montana Which I would be open with

I like Montana Is that Yellowstone? I don't know Why I mean it's the same thing The Big Blackfoot The Dempsey's did it Yeah Did they?

Were you acquiring some land No I just watched like Friends in my In the cabin me and my brother shared a cabin and I just watched like It's the one where Chandler does something I want a Sunday

I don't like moose Chocolate moose you like chocolate moose? No really? Yeah Huh That was the richest thing we could think of as a kid Ordering chocolate moose Instead of pudding

I don't think the places we hung out at We're serving moose Every once in a while I'd get one Little moose I want to scoop out of ice cream. Ryers. Scoop of chocolate.

This one's from hoops. Is it garbage if my buddy refers to his couch and ottoman as a sectional? I respect it. If you ain't fucking lying, you ain't trying dog. That's like how you feel a little comfortable, you know, you're keeping up appearances a little bit. It's a

sectional to him. Sure. There's two sections to that chair. I mean, if you have a big enough ottoman, Auderman. Whatever it's called. Ottoman. Ottoman. Like the empire. Is it really?

Yeah. Is that why they call it that? That's how they got all their money. Shut up. I'm not an idiot. It's Ottoman. I think it's Ottoman. No.

Okay. Ottoman. And Ottoman. What is it? He's looking. In the meantime, finish your thought. I have real fucking school of broadcasting you got going on here. How to undercut a story.

I have to do. What's I talking about? I don't know. Ottoman. Who said that? Ottoman. I think it's Ottoman. See?

Ottoman. So I'm right. No. No. Yes. No. You said Ottoman. Okay.

Hold that second. Hold on a second. I'm not doing this. I said Ottoman. No. It's Ottoman. No. Now you just, you flip.

Say it. Ottoman. Ottoman. No. Ottoman. It's O. It's O. Isn't it OTT?

No, she's saying A. Say, do it, Mick or see. She's saying A. Oh. Go ahead. Ottoman. Yeah, Ottoman. No, you're saying Ottoman.

Like auto. Like Ottoman. That's what she's saying. Ottoman. Oh, my God, this is driving. I don't know. I don't know. First of all, the new information that's come into the conversation, we cannot

agree on, and we all are taking different stance. All right, this one's from Big Boy Hustle. First time $10 home. He never had one read. Is it garbage to hold your parent's steering wheel and drive while they like up a dart. Extra credit if it wasn't a dart but a pipe. Extra credit if it wasn't tobacco in there.

How you doing? That's, I mean, listen, I'm no fucking saint. That was always big, though. I'm holding my dad's steering wheel was big. When you got the right to do that. Hold the wheel for a second. It was always big if he had to get into his pocket. Because he wore a pite set of dungarees.

So he had to like, you know, do that and like get in. Get in there. So I would grab the wheel. I liked, and he didn't need me to, but he'd be like, you know, you can grab the wheel. Your brother did it first, though. Yeah, I was always in the back. Yeah, they were like, they might as well been like.

The same age? Yeah, the president and vice president. You know, I was just like, I was in the cabinet in the back, the dog. I was fighting over Begging strip. Yeah, no, yeah, for sure. I was in the back. That was a big brother thing. gets to hold the wheel from my dad when he's lighting a heater or something like that.

Never a bowl, though. That's crazy. Yeah, that's, I mean. The smoking weed in front of the kids. That's crazy to me. I never understood. I come from, like, you know, I have big drinking family, which obviously is, you know, arguably worse than smoking weed day to day. Yeah, when you look at it, it really is, it really was apples and oranges.

What do you mean? Like. I meant one buddy's dad smoked a lot, but he was a successful businessman. He was, like, very spiritual. You know what I mean? Fucking hippie. He's hippie. He's hippish, not drafty-dodger, he's hippie-ish.

Never drank, though. Never, I never saw him drunk once. Never had beer in the house, never booze in the house. You're over to my house. It's like, I'm fucking, like he's 7-Eleven. Yeah. Going to that garage fridge. Yeah, I don't, yeah, I don't, we never, I mean, I, I, I,

I would say my dad definitely experimented pretty heavily through the 60s and 70s, I presume, like most people. Sure. But then, like, that was like, I remember somebody accused him of smoking weed. He's like, that was fucking decades ago. Like, he was, like, it wasn't even like a lie. He was, this, fuck, he's always smoking weed. I haven't smoked weed since, like, you know, 81 or something like that. But the booze, it was just.

To me, it was booze was so regular, and weed was like, that's crazy you're smoking weed with your parents. To like, just in the world, the perspective of it that I came up with. Yeah. My family would more likely be like, you're 15, grab a drink than like you're 21. I'm going to smoke a bowl with you. Yeah. She's like a little dirtier. The way it smelled when you didn't know it.

Like when you weren't used to it, I remember smelling at my grandmother's house when my cousin had bought the house. It's probably like 83, something like that. And like neighbor's a couple houses down where sparking one up. Uh-huh. I remember being like, God damn, what the fuck is that? And how do I get my hands on it? And how do I let this ruin my life? I told you, we were like 16 or 17 at a friend's at a girl's house,

and she was smoking weed in the basement with her family. And I had beers in the trunk. I went up to get the beers. I was like, oh, they were fucking partying. You know what I mean? Like, we're a vibe in here. Start taking the mom's bra off. There you do, love you.

They come down on a blender. Pinacoladas. And I remember being like, oh, I'm going to drink. You got a bowl, you're dropping your keys in there? I'm passing it around. Just my luminaic. I remember they were, it was warm Milwaukee's best. Sweet.

And I was like, yeah, we're partying. We'll go down in the basement. This is the first time I really hung out with, like, there was, like, dudes there. Adults. Yeah, but like not cool adults. Like a guy on the couch type shit. Like, oh, that's Randy.

He's not really the parents' age. He's older than the kids. If the parents are 55 and the kids are 18, he's like 32. It's like, where do you fit in here, Randy? Probably weird sex stuff. Whatever. I was like, we're vibing. I'm going to have a couple of pops.

Everybody's like- When you say smoking weed with their parents, like. Like ripping bingers. Like passing around a zong. Clear, you remember his son? Of course. With her parents? Yeah.

Not just Randy. No. Dude, it was me. My two boys, Justin and Justin. Uh-huh. This girl, Gene. Uh-huh. Both are her parents.

Then these two dudes. In a basement. So I go, oh, I'm going to... Finish basement? Yeah, not great. Finish basement. Friday night, weeknight. Friday night

Or maybe this summer But like We're not We don't You know It might have been I was probably in high school All right

Me and my boy go out to smoke a heater Because there's no heaters in the house Respect that Yeah Smoking your zone And I get up So I go

I got fucking I got 12 pack in a trunk You know what I mean I used to come correct Back in the day I grabbed my beers Throw them on ice in the house Yeah whatever

I mean probably throw them in a fridge Upstairs We're fucking Smoking we with a parent. I'll do whatever the fuck I want lady. I can start going to your underwear drawer. I call 911 right now. What the fuck lady? Blowed his whole thing up. So I come down. I do I walk down this I walk down the stairs like I'm fucking I'm the king of the fucking castle. You're warm beer crack of beer. Hey, you're done. She's

like we cannot allow that at this house. I said lady your eye on drugs right now. I'm not taking a edge off with a beer. I mean you got my money taped your tits right now. But I'll do respect you fucking work for me you know what I mean what the fuck yeah and made me feel like the fucking I bounce I said I'm gonna go smoke another sig I fucking fucking dust in my drunk fucking dusted my boys I said you find over there she ain't gonna fuck either one of you I was here because I had nothing else to do they were both trying to fuck her the mom no the girl we were friends with a girl she went to another school or something oh okay I forget how to fuck we knew her.

I wasn't. I walk into this fucking hippie house. I might as well be hanging out with Jerry Garzio. Fuck that. I said my mom would call to police right now. She knew I was smoking fucking, and I didn't even smoke weed. I'm trying to, we're all vibing. You must be doing heroin, lady.

Yeah. You're smoking bongs. You're a mom fucking pulling a fucking cap out and clearing a zong. And you're, you got to. I come down with a glass. It's all of you unblank. You treat me like, I'm a criminal. Well, I felt, I felt judged and I didn't like it.

And I wanted to be like, lady, this ain't even decriminalized yet. At no age are you allowed to, let alone with children. And who to fucking he's too? It's fucking Randy and one-eyed jack over you. We got a wrap. Oh, my God. What a fun one. Gang, we love you to death.

Uh-huh. Grab me tickets to come see you December 13th. Yeah. A couple days away. A couple days away. We love you. What else? You got t-shirts on sale.

Got T-Sheed. Card game. Yeah, we're clearing out the store. We're making room for a lot of new merch coming in early in the next year. So we fucking love you and we appreciate all the support. Army of Garbage is the best. Sign up for the H. Foley School of Broadcasting. At H. Foley School of Broadcasting.com.

Owned by Kevin Ryan Industries.net. Coming soon. Peace. See you next week.