Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Funny Fan Questions w/ Kippy & Foley!

Episode Date: October 12, 2020

The boys are back with a family episode where Kippy and Foley answer funny fan questions. They talk trashy food, home remedies, bad parents, and hot chocolate. Originally Aired on www.GasdigitalNetwork.com on October 6th, 2020 Sign up for Gas Digital: www.GasdigitalNetwork.com - Promo code: AYG Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley oh hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast this is our you gabbage to show we sit down with your favorite comedians in front of the group classy or if they're absolute trash I'm your hostage Foley coming at you on a beautiful Friday afternoon here at gas studios he's lying it's Tuesday prank call of television take that suckerberg I am your hostage Foley coming at you on a

beautiful day here at gas little studios my co-host is across the table from me so you know it's a fucking fan question episode just a family circle in the wagons no gas no pressure no bullshit no that it's just us gang and we got a lot of your hot emails couple of free range birds baby let's that you can't keep me caged down daddy oh gang do me a favor give me a nice big round of applause for his fucking MacBook Pro kippy Kevin James Ryan hey what's up gang thanks for tuning in everybody love the family shows it's family style get the egg playing porm out it's the big bowl of pasta a little garlic bread throw it in the

middle of the table and let's have a little Sunday evening feast you know what I mean I don't know I like this angle the backfats really show I look like I'm laying down look like job of the hut on acid eating that frog hey how was Woodstock well guys as always please make sure you rate review subscribe on iTunes last I checked we were in the top 200 maybe fell out not sure man but keep us in the top 200 guys it the fucking we appreciate all the support so much honestly it's fucking amazing we slid down that thing like a fucking booger on the wall yeah we hung in there for about a week we're hanging where we get in we

get out we get a stick and move we fly like a buddy you know you don't want to beat a Rogan you don't want to be Joe Rogan up there with the bullseye on your back you know what I mean so you fucking stick and move get in get a couple more subs get out get in get a cop position taking a little bit of a hit dude but guys please please make sure you're ready to subscribe on iTunes and also full as you know full video available on YouTube you can subscribe there as well we appreciate all support thank you guys and real quick since we're doing a family show let's give credit where credits do shout out to our

amazing producer Dylan for all his hard work hard work on the fucking live show yeah down there in Philly audio quality blame on him but he's a kid and the new graphics and all that stuff he's fucking holding up the fort here why why Brian's not feeling well I don't know if that's whatever should I've said that I don't know it's all right snip that out shut up just go on with the show you fucking I'm trying to fucking give Dylan some props guy realizes a camera on him claims up real quick huh I do my hands like your mom on the news thank you thank you I saw the whole guys so as you know this is a listener episode where

you guys write in all your questions we've I mean we decided to do this like two days ago we put the tweets out put the post out we've gotten fucking hundreds hundreds of questions came in some of you thousands some of you repeating you know some of you what if some of you might have never watched the show cuz I gave you the fuck your mother the dog what's up the one thing I'm finding is people tweeting comics that we've already had on the show yeah you gotta have so-and-so and a bucket two weeks ago yes guys so also if you're not aware the the people that we've had on I mean we've had Bobby

Kelly Paul Versey Andrew Schultz Joe List Mark Norman fucking Corinne Fisher Christina Hutchinson I mean the who's who a fucking comedian and they're all available on gas digital network only the most recent 15 episodes are available on YouTube for legal purposes for legal purposes but you can use promo code AYG sign up get those fucking hit the birch yeah it's a good deal man it's a good deal but we got we wouldn't still you're wrong we got so many fucking questions some of them are fucking home runs home runs yeah on these that I'm like a little jealous I didn't come up with them and some of them I've had

sitting in the hopper that came across from a booties are good ones you know okay um let's see but we've had we had multiple come in asking about us okay because four inches if we're still an item no are you two still hot and heavy no because a lot of us don't just know us on the show a little bit we're off the show as guests so kind of the a few people asked about the origin of the podcast and or us a little bit so this is from Bobby who came up with the idea for the podcast that's funny you mentioned that let's get this fucking well documented on audio cuz somebody was running their mouth off before the

other show about some legal action that would be taken by the IP intellectual property have retained council that's already trademarked under Patty Foley Patty Foley Enterprise case something happens to me all goes to my ma yeah ma's getting the money she's got a holding corp with are you garbage in an above ground pool well the truth is okay how it came now listen we're 50-50 no matter what okay kippy and I yeah I do I do 90% of the works if anyone's counting out there there's not there's not 50-50 ownership I do 90% of the heavy lifting there won't be any legal battle it'll be 50-50 we got a handshake deal

something at the McDonald's brothers dumb fuck what do you think I'm doing to you I'm running a fucking red crock this whole thing you think you're over there selling hamburgers I'm buying real estate okay we've you know Kevin and I've been working together for years we started in Philadelphia together run and we don't need the whole you know we don't need the whole you know how many times I've heard this fucking story every one here I was it was a cold crisp evening no we always kind of did it it was a game we played we loved calling well it wasn't defined as a game but we just did it to each other we would ask

each other questions about growing up and be like oh that's fucking trash your garbage the first big one was milk for dinner on the ride home from when we were in out to we did a roadshow in Altoona and I remember like dying we were like I was trashing you for drinking milk for dinner yeah and that was one of that was like one of the big first you know and then we had done a podcast called the center city comedy podcast for many years with Derek Gaines there again Tom Cassidy we all started to fill it together and then one day I was in the shower and I said and I I thought of the actual game like to

play the game now it was still undefined at that moment and then we played it once on that podcast with each other and we fucking loved it and that's that's where it came from and then Kevin and I together you know formed what this podcast is now yeah and me before that we had another podcast hard feelings yeah so this is our third attempt at cuz somebody said did you have a show before a YG that bombed yeah we had two of them he goes I mean you guys have blown up some of the biggest names in comedy have been on the show thank you very much was that a lucky shot or has been planned after a few things didn't work out yeah

we kind of would particularly play I'll take that part of it okay like when I say he's all is all fully his kippy you know kippy does the SPO and the fucking algorithm or whatever the fuck it's called SPF 30 at the zinc on the nose it's like a flannel yeah but we've thrown a couple things against the wall learned you know retooled and you know and now we're here and we got so much we're so fucking ecstatic of all the support and everything yes we love it like after the live show there was a fucking a bunch of people hanging out taking pictures the guy drove you hear this one crew drove up from Baltimore

they got in the car the kid hit a deer they turned around and got a new car fucking drove they told the car what they do with the deer that's in the trunk some jerky couple venison steaks um yeah so that's a that's for the podcast a little bit of background on the old kipster and foley yeah but let's get into some fan questions why we're fucking here hit me this one I can't bring myself to do and it's a tough will you go out of your way for a free donut free slurpee free coffee on those national donut etc days that's from Robert no you've never been like oh it's free no free crawler day let me fucking swing by never no why

because one you're poor and two you like a nice fucking sugary snack that's riffraff shit it is that's riffraff you can't spend the 79 cents they get to get the day before Rita's water ice is a famous water ice place in Philly and the first day of spring they give the store away you get whatever the fuck you want free water ice falling his family back up with a fucking pickup truck got our own cooler dry ice in the backseat we don't even do that we're not garbage like that the follies don't go for the free shit now I'm not saying my mom doesn't have a

bunch of fucking bed bath and beyond 20 big coupons you can't avoid those things if you wake up they're under your pillow those they get those things they get those fucking coupons everywhere how is that place still in business I think they're going out of business oh yeah 20 off if you need it what do you give you the store yeah but no we don't I don't fuck with anything that's a tough one I'll do a dollar dog night I'm not saying that yeah that's a deal that's not a freebie yeah you know big hat but a freebie there's just something so innately trashy about like standing in line to get your small slurpee then you

get there like oh we're all out of the coke you gotta have fucking fancy you're like what do we know I want the goods I'll come in tomorrow and buy a proper thing of what I want we the follies don't wait in line for anything like that we just don't we don't camp out for tickets skinner tickets a couple of meatloaf tickets who's buying huh yeah we know we don't fuck with that yeah um yeah that's good though man um I'll take a free dessert at the end of a meal though that's really what do you mean free dessert what do you mean free dessert was on the house I love that that's what you that's a little different yeah dessert is on yes have you ever lied to say it's your

birthday to get a free one now that we don't do that shit either there's no singing happy birthday happy happy birthday had to hit the fucking some fucking meth head get the fuck out of here all skieved up uh-huh um this is a big one goes back to the milk and I love how all the listeners spell milk milk it's fucking a home run funny um which is more garbage milk with dinner or soda with breakfast oh man which I have done not too long ago soda and an omelet it just doesn't fucking work man it's real it's like it's like mixing two worlds stop looking at yourself whatever this guy likes his look on camera stop tanking I need to look at one winner keep eye contact stop why do you gotta do that be weird do you have you ever had soda with breakfast yeah absolutely

when was the last time you had soda with breakfast last week that was a nasty I got a sniper it was a breakfast sandwich from did you make it no what am I a fucking diner you know what's what's a breakfast sandwich mine that's my mom's shit you know what's great dude being all hung over going to mickey d's and getting a fucking a screaming cold fountain coke the perfect amount of bubbles they put in they got scientists back there dropping in one too many bubbles oh it's great speaking to mcdonough I did something real trashy last week I got two two breakfast sandwiches when I did uh when I did RAP uh Dylan last week I came in um I got a McGrittle and a sausage McMuffin biscuit oh watching watching you're watching your intake

I see yikes but I only got through half of the sausage biscuit and then when I got out of RAP it was in the bag in the back seat and I ate it cold on the way home that just made my blood run cold did I swear to god I gotta chill down my spine picture you biting first of all you fucking just veering all over the road fucking playing bumper cars down fucking 6th avenue reaching back for a cold sammy to shove down your fucking gallant I love eating and driving I don't know what you love eating and doing anything what are we talking about I love eating and eating eating and sleeping eating and I love eating and driving man I love eating on the move I don't know why

you know I'm a go getter call me charlie hustle I like to fucking keep it fucking fully veiner chuck over here I'm moving daddy oh soda with breakfast I'll do it I was doing it a lot in the quarantine a coke zero and like you know something going on um what if I what if you're the diner at night and you get in breakfast that's different because sody I do yeah I'll get I'll get a coke I'll get a big needs to do we get that first one in like an appetizer yeah first one just to take the edge off clear my head and let me tell you something uh just a heads up to all the fucking waiters and fucking diners out there when things get back to normal kippy likes his fucking second refill

quickly if he's got a look around for you it's coming off the top yeah well what the 15% real quick 15 that's where you start um when you drop because I'm gonna have one before the food I'm gonna fit you're gonna drop a lot I'm gonna finish it the food's gonna come and now if you don't ask go another diet coke I don't I need to eat and drink like we talked about in the Sean Patton episode sipping but I'm a bite and sip kind of guy I'm trash I don't care what it is it's a soft pretzel or a slice of fucking pizza in a cold I like when I have the food like a little you can see my little lip on the rim of the you gotta go the extra fucking disgusting yard every time every time you do a little tuna fish uh but soda with breakfast is

fucking trash like opan stuff for sure um but uh I am guilty as charged that was from Sam appreciate it Sam thank you Sammy um have you ever lived in a household with more pets than people and that's from bargoyles Jesus Christ now but I've been high school people would have like I remember the girl my buddy's mom was breeding hamsters what that's like corny level shit who breeds hamsters what living with the yak woman dude times must have been tough and they didn't have a professional setup there was no it was just a couple of box a couple of fucking boxes the thunderdome it was like hedonism for fucking you know what the smell is with that shit it's the wood chips the chips oh god and you can never clean up all the chips so there's pee chips floating

around she'd have a whole fucking she had like three or four boxes of them I don't know who they were where is their money in that what's coming on what's it go for a nickel I mean there can't there can't be a big profit margin on fucking breeding them I guess in fucking bluebell in the 90s there was cheese and the things were wide open back before the mob got involved thanks a lot been lauded for the democrats regulated everything big business coming in oh holy shit more animals than people I remember this girl would be like we have 37 like they were like to fucking 37 what dogs we have 16 cats we have that like it was like fucking ace ventura when he goes when he opens up his door in the high school girlfriend no the penguin slides out of the freezer and shit

and she was like I remember going then you would go and she'd like to put all the dogs in the backyard or there was chickens and shit it was fucking wild more than two dogs is trash yeah because you can't stay on top unless you got to live in made you can't stay on top of the air I or the poop or the piss have you got more than yeah two dogs is the cut off yeah cats is two two but you can't no more than three animals total yeah you can't do two cats and two dogs now the house is run I wouldn't marry some I wouldn't marry or date somebody that had that many dogs really no that's crazy huh an aristocrat I'm in the I'm in the I'm in the market for a puppy if any you know any breeders by the way are you yeah we were looking at hamster rock bottom prices

let me wet my beak on the hamster little shit I'll give it to you I'll give it to you cost plus five I need five points on a hamster my buddy just picked just got a rescue but he got it from Alabama hamster no rescue one comes from an abused family they were fighting them actually cigarette butts but I don't know it was a dog that he got from Alabama and they drove it up and we had to meet them at a mall you were there I went I wasn't going to pick it up it was during the pandemic I had nothing to do it was a fucking you know who's that are who's that hard up for a rescue I guess that's the only place they could get one there was nothing in Philly you're telling me there was no dog between Philly and Alabama well I'm sure I'm sure you didn't want to fucking pity off the streets of

West Philly here as a fucking educated adult who's went to college temple 2.5 GPA and believe that there wasn't a possible dog for them to get between here and Alabama listen that's neither here nor there this is what I got the dog from they got it shipped up from Alabama came up in a van and Alabama she was wearing hammers um Jesus Christ okay this one is from Aaron how quickly could you get your hands on prescription painkillers right now you got a minute what's up well I can say this from my experience which I've tried now I thought it would be easy because I remember when I was you know I was partaking in some you know Dr. feel good over here I like to ride the lightning a little bit when we were back in Philly and I remember a little too close to the

sun I remember I kind of put the feelers out there now I don't know if the family was playing defense on me if they knew what I was up to the family well she's saying how could you get that's where you start you start somebody somebody's got a script an aunt and uncle somebody that's sick or something that's where you start I thought that's what the question where I go oh I can make a phone call we'll have some school buses on the way oh really why are you still like when you go I still have some friends that are into nefarious activities well we go like Thanksgiving or Christmas I you know my back's killing me oh really you're playing the seed I just have like Tyler are you anything stronger it's killing me I would do that I always come up empty except for once it worked out Christmas

Eve thumb bro didn't see it coming I'm fucking on screwballs how quickly yeah I a couple of calls it depends what city I'm in here less but for sure I mean here more I think I think here I can get anything within an hour yeah all of my all of my dirtbag not that I would all of my dirtbag friends are still I'd have to what I the biggest accomplishment for me was I would have to reach out to somebody to get the number I don't have any numbers anymore yeah that's yeah yeah of course but that's two phone calls two texts two phone calls hey do you still have Charlie's number still have Jojo's number whatever the fuck not to do the real names he cut this tape can you beat that for legal purposes um this is from Austin have you ever been to an all-day music festival

sponsored by a radio station that is garb with jingle balls or whatever the jingle yeah jingle ball yeah I was we participated in one we did stand-up comedy at music fest in Allentown yeah that's different though um I did I went to a like 1029 mgk's what's the one in Delaware there's there was one in Delaware in the summer firefly but that's a music that's a proper music festival that's not like a freebie of like I went to one at the piazza in Philly for like WMGK's John DeBella WMG classic rock maybe not b101 might have been b101 there you go um no but it was like newer bands spin cities there's somebody my I don't know so we went and it was like I'm sitting there with a bunch of fucking mouth breathers with like the big fucking you know

margaritas and something like what the fuck am I doing I hate those fucking those those yards oh and then like those are garbage keep it for a couple of days at the house ends up with change in it that's fucking trash and you're always like it's never like I want I want it to be like a fucking comedy show where you go out a band comes on does 15 minutes gets off and hey keep it going for the fucking smiths or the johnson's and then you know but you there's like they got a breakdown set up there's like 45 minutes between each act you're sitting there like a fucking jerk off my buzzes wearing off I'm sitting there like an asshole not a big music festival guy not a big concert guy it was the last concert you went to that bought a ticket like a proper concert

um I would have to say it was Elton John Billy Joel at the continental center over there and Jay-Z saw with my ex-girl and we had broken up we'd broken up but she had bought me the tickets for my birthday that's trash a couple months later she had the tickets to she could ice me but she's a good kid she reached out she was like hey do you still want to go she was looking for a little she wasn't because that was my whole plan you got a limo and stuff no we took a bus there and back yeah what and I was like trying to you took a bus with your ex to go to a fucking concert and I was trying to convince her on the way back to fucking like a greyhound or like a city bus like uh no like a new jersey transit bus oh dude those things they're like downtown Beirut

those I was a young kid I don't have any gauge all right when he now but I'm an old man I got no gauge I would take an uber now but I was fucking putting the full core press to try to get back to her house right next to the bathroom in the back and I think she pretended to be asleep most of the way home do you blame her I was like trying to I would have pretended to be dead if I was her little fucking I would have jumped out the fire escape fuck that yeah that was the last concert fucking fat no-tooth guy making a move on me I was I was on a new jersey transit bus I wanted her back so bad baby come back she crushed me for years she crushed me seems like you're over it I roll for the audio this is a big one this is from Dick talk I don't know that's a government name

growing up what liquid did you use to make hot chocolate milk or water well that's not even an option you psycho what oh to make hot chocolate I'm thinking chocolate if you're making chocolate milk with water fucking DM me I'll be making a homemade you who I'll be a couple of beans we were we were water people because I don't think we knew any better it wasn't until like I was an adult where I realized holy shit you can use milk so much creamier and then we would do it in the pan in the pan like a sauce pan like a like a pot pour the milk get it boiling put the powder in there to stir it up talk about home on the range what are you talking about what you put in the microwave like an animal or boil oh I don't know

we were definitely a water family until my stepmom came around in the mid 90s and she introduced us to oval teen chocolate milk fucking blew my hair back dude that and a couple of fucking ginger snaps good night man those ginger snaps there weren't ginger snap season I know prime ginger snap season you know my mom's house she's got a couple left over from last season too man those things the way they melt inside oh there's a point there's a two second period where you gotta get those things out before they fucking lick yeah they don't have a shelf like no you gotta get them get them in get them down I know but dude where you was like swiss miss right that was the brand yeah we use swiss man did you do marshmallows or no no marshmallows what am I a fucking asshole

of course marshmallows the ones that came in the swiss miss packet yeah I used to eat them I would just take a spoon right off the top dude they were I don't know what they were but they were in they were like lucky charms uh marshmallows lucky charms you really hit your fucking irish brogun charms they were lucky charms yeah we were one of those families that put fucking extra marshmallows in the thing yeah a regular marshmallow doesn't work in there yeah they do not the big ones but the fucking little guys for sure now you know my my girlfriend in high school her mom would make the hot chocolate with with milk okay and put fucking the marshmallows in and then take a fucking blow torch and and cook the marshmallow french what's going on damn yeah that's fucking

didn't nice she got the welder's mask on flips it down like she's in running man that's a deep cut isn't that running man with art of torturing yeah I don't remember the welder there was like a torch guy like a flame thrower guy I don't know whatever just laugh at it and move on will you this can't all be home runs our second episode of the day we were water people yeah for sure yeah we weren't wasting milk on fucking hot chocolate that was for dinner there was none from none left over dessert full full he's got a beer helmet on with two two things of milk you ever do this for a while for some reason uh the pre-made chocolate milk was was big in our house we always had a gallon like a huge fucking gallon of that in the fridge my my sisters do

my sister my brother and sister do that for their kids now I got the big like turkey hill or like the local-ish chocolate milk farm but but they would heat that up and make chocolate milk oh really yeah what's that turn into it seems like you're reducing it down to make a fucking crumble or something make a pudding yeah were you a pudding family no absolutely not what like the pudding snacks you weren't with those guys no we used to make it homemade you have to wait till like the next day it was brutal I remember one time it's fucking fucking making dessert tonight before what are you doing to me do the babysitter try to make us make our own ice cream I was like tuts I don't know if you checked the garage freezer recently but there's a fucking gallon of

briars in there and I don't like the pink shit either all right so keep it on the left side of the road will you hey honey my mom didn't leave a 20 for treats so you could fucking show us how they lived in the 1800s pull up dominoes yeah and get the briars out with the fucking Hershey's take me on a walk to Dairy Queen or your fault I'll say you grabbed me yeah fuck that I remember put it in like a coffee can with ice and we were like rolling it back and forth you gotta keep it moving I'm the only thing acceptable to make it home is cookies okay brownies any baked any baked good yeah and the rice crispy treat yeah yeah baked that's it make your own ice cream when is that stopped and you're making your own sour cream like when the fuck is that fucking dealing my own

pickles and shit although my brother did his own pickles this summer they were awesome oh good for him half-sours shout out to the boon uh I tell you what fat kids always funny one man everybody loves those drops not on the youtube comments forget about it that's a that's a left left right combo one two three punch right there gang I don't think there's any better way to celebrate our freedom than going to yo kratom.com and getting yourself a 60 dollar kilo that's the world's best value and kratom ship right to your door no questions that ain't gonna beat it that's right now if you never heard of kratom before ignore the ad we're not talking to you no reason to try kratom but if you are currently a fan of

kratom which I know you are then celebrate your freedom at yo kratom.com home of the 60 dollar key which is unheard of I never heard of it I mean yo kratom.com is one of the biggest sellers of kratom nationwide and made yo kratom.com so you can buy directly at wholesale prices yeah you're cutting at the middle man you're saving money and this is quality kratom we're talking about we've gotten feedback from other fans and listeners they confirm it's solid and like I said it's the only place where you'll find a kilo for 60 bucks you ain't gonna find that anywhere else nope I'm talking 60 beans here for a whole kilo so for the last time if you're currently a fan of kratom go to yo kratom.com and get yourself a 60 dollar kilo now back to the show

is it garbage this is from teapot uh is it more garbage to shower at night before bed or to shower in the morning before work or school this is a great one this is fantastic and there is a right answer no there's not yes there is well there is a 100 right answer we were always uh I have to you got done your fucking paper route we were always a shower before bed when I was growing up what age give me an age on that all the way through high school okay yeah but see the problem is your hair was all fucked up in the morning oh yeah it looks like you brushed it with fire crackers and I this is before we knew what like conditioner was and like in the winter remember how like static using SOS pads and shit how static your hair would

be especially if you put a stocking hat on you put that winter hat on you take that off you're fucking you're like a thing of winter greens this fucking sparkle in everywhere um but I'll say this you sleep better when you take a nice shower at night of course before you go to bed but I think to be the cleanest yeah you'll wake up and take a shower yeah yeah yeah it's fine if you want to take one to go before bed by all means I did it last night took a little tubby time okay tubby time for the for the old gibster right a little weekend let the hair down a little play with the violin a little bit like we do you know you know what's fucking class my girl just did she hung fresh eucalyptus in the shower oh yeah patty's been doing that forever she's

same thing vix vapor rub yeah you put a little vix vapor rub in the bottom of the shower and I think that's way different than fresh eucalyptus okay I'll tell you that much it's like showering in the fucking rainforest over at my place meanwhile you're in fucking aisle three of CVS open up the pores it's just nice that you get loosens the shoulders a bit even if it's mental but if you shower at night that's fine it fucks your hair up you got it fucking you gotta take a quick even if it's a quick run by you're not dirty but you're not fresh no that's the thing you're not 30 100 percent you shower you sit on the couch have a little midnight snack maybe you take you off the bed that's fine you're not 30 you wake up you gotta fucking you gotta rinse

off I feel like it's different for the ladies the ladies can get away with the shower the night before but guys we're just you know we're more disgusting you're going yeah you know you gotta fuck you gotta get in if not you got soot on you and oil and stuff you fucking microbes plus you know you spanked it the night before when you got in those you got into the sheets yeah yeah I did what check please yeah for sure you got a shower in the morning that's fucking hands down great question though yeah that was from yeah it was from teapot um did your parents own a vehicle this is from Jason did your parents own a vehicle that didn't run

or did your parents regularly experience car trouble say that one more time I apologize did your parent this is from Jason did your parents own a vehicle that didn't run or did your parents regularly experience car trouble did you ever have like a lemon or you just couldn't get it right only once they had a lemon my parents were always great on that they were big least people so if we had a problem you take it right back to the dealership usually under warranty um if not you fudge a little paperwork you know what I mean is it a four is it an eight who knows they only mistake my parent my car wise my parents were always on fucking point always 80s we had a fucking Pontiac that was fucking tight Pontiac what uh like I don't know whatever it was firebird

my mom's on the roof white snake in it you got a fucking cut off just white jeans on no they were always on point Pontiac we were from Pontiac to Nissan Maximus for about 10 years was she were you the Russian mob Nissan Maximus they were hot in the early 90s late 80s early 90s what color was it they varied navy blues just a couple different colors there's a red in the front navy blues oh that's real trashy if that's on here somewhere multiple color car oh get the fuck out of here I had worse so my first car was uh Chevy Lumina 1200 beans shout out to my step dad 1200 bucks Chevy Lumina and I talked to a guy in the car biz like owns dealerships and what happened was so I think it was a 96 96 Chevy to cut prices or just do something they used

galvanized or ungalvanized I think they use galvanized steel for the car instead of ungalvanized and galvanized paint doesn't stick to okay but they didn't I don't know I don't know I get somehow slipped through the cracks they knew so especially after a couple of years a little wear and tear the paint would fucking yeah those luminous dude it would strip off like you could just and like all my friends would get all high and drunk like just pull chips off dude so mine was like it looked like it looked like snow camo like the doors would just be like there'd be no pain on the doors and no pain on the trunk or no pain on the hood mine was all in there it was like spray paint and stuff at a time using like you're supposed to call touch up paint I was using like nine cans of that

shit nail polish yeah taping off the fucking taping off the fucking oh really yeah I was like double it was like to make on my driveway for a little bit I've painted a lot of shit in my day I've never used painter's tape once yeah eyeball it how big get what you get I might do the first run but then like you know fuck that shit always suck that was the worst part of it taping everything up first get the fuck out of here it's broad ain't gonna know I know I'll be long gone by the time she sees it I that one time I was going to I was going to Ireland in college and I needed my music I'll give you 200 bucks if you paint the bathroom or whatever so I'm like all right fucking spray paint yeah don't bro didn't see it's coming fucking I wasn't in the

fucking better business brewer I'll tell you that much this is before fucking Yelp or Amanda's choice or would I Angie's list because dude I'd look like I had Parkinson's when I was fucking trimming out the fucking there was it was like the mirror I was like an olive greenish or I forget but dude it was all over this the ceiling was supposed to be white but it fucking it looked like I was fucking throwing m80s in that place dude there was paint everywhere anytime I was asked to do some shit like that I half-assed everything I know that the fuck out of here yeah clippings on the lawn fuck did I remember raking the leaves you couldn't even tell bitch about it the whole time I know I have to I grew up cutting the grass and we had a fucking

John Deere from like I'm not even fucking like 1972 this thing was like big metal no plastic sit down sit down wow big boy like fucking heavy duty somebody knew I love those residential sit down mowers they're one of my favorite things of all time but this was like kind of between like this was before things got small and technology this was like a fucking big green metal fucking hunk of steel they'd have the like the long front and the tires on the side the big tires in the back bigger tires in the back little tiny ones in the front yeah I burned myself on one of those real bad I grabbed the muffler as a little kid Jesus Christ I like ran up to my dial I was cutting the grass and I grabbed onto it camphor finique that's what I got introduced to that you know

camphor finique is that english camphor finique was like a like a disinfectant or pain reliever in solar cane no we don't have solar cane money we don't have solar cane money that works in a navy what are you talking about solar cane it's like out of here you got camphor finique and you got iodine that was it what is this a fucking civil war hospital iodine who's putting iodine on anything we used to put my mom used to put iodine on everything anytime we had a cut put some on the eggs in the morning so numb you up a little bit rub a little in your gums like a yeah brush you mind enough time to brush my teeth I got iodine in a glove box it stung like a motherfucker we were big uh dirt balls for sure uh like

alkyrubbit like you know or like hydrocortisone or whatever not cortisone the hydra coating not hydrogen peroxide peroxide yeah see get to see it working do the bubbles buddy hit something with some bubbles love that love the sting yeah I remember we would like do it and we like had to like watch if my brother had something we'd do it to him like we because you'd want to see the bubbles and then if they were complaining and there was no real bubbles you're like you fucking pussy we used to do that too I feel like there was a lot of times where me and my brother if one of us were like injured or something like that like I remember watching my mom scrape blackheads out of my brother's ear what in the fuck what is he a golden retriever

check please scraping blackheads out of his ear yeah with a with a pair of tweezers that she bent up to get the nice scrape and she would scrape them out of there there's a four of those suction things we used to always watch each other get that done I don't know why anything like that we'd watch each other she didn't have cable hey what's on the night broken femur get the iodine pretty quick this guy pretty quick well that's garbage hey jerry um all right let's see here this is from cg did anyone ever forget to pick you up at school or anywhere have you ever been forgotten yeah I've been forgotten a lot I don't think I've ever been proper forgotten but I've definitely been deep prioritized I've definitely been put at the bottom of the list and priorities for my dad

because he showed up with a couple of fucking rolling rocks and nickel obes my mom lost me in a k-mart when I was probably I might have been pre-kindergarten because I didn't know what was going on and hiding in the circle rack of jackets no remember that that was like oh yeah that was fun that's when you were in control but I think this broad just left me in an aisle yeah and forgot that I was there and like walked around the corner and I didn't know I didn't know whether to shit or go blind I was just wandering around screaming and this is the 80s everyone mind their own business back then nobody was fun mom's the word when it comes to a screaming kid kid must have done something I don't want to be next keep it moving uh and I just kept wandering around and wandering around

it felt like days probably like 10 minutes yeah but I'm a little fat kid you know probably I'll jacked up on an icy wandering around and luckily just by coincidence my aunt Lorraine just working just happened she might have worked there just happened to be in the store and she found me that's why I always love my aunt Lorraine not to mention she makes nut roll at christmas fantastic that's not the only time she makes it that was the first time second time when we moved from wokesbury down to philly okay down to the burbs of philly I told you we lived in town line apartment town line townhouse community which was like a fucking maze when you you know when you didn't know it everything looks the same yeah I didn't know where the fuck I didn't know my fucking addressed

it like when did you know what your address was I don't I mean college I didn't fucking know where the fuck I lived sure and my brother went to like the middle school and I was going to the elementary school and I guess she picked up my brother at the bus stop and then or had to pick my brother up from school something anyway I know we had a fucking plan she was gonna meet me in the car at the fucking bus stop and I get off and there's no car yikes yeah it's the fall it's getting dark it's a I don't know the fucking neighborhood so there I am again just wandering around fucking screaming people are probably eating dinner some fat kid walking by staring through the window and eventually I mean this was a level of panic that has created built insecurity in me to this day

I didn't think any I was never gonna really you seem like a cool guy I didn't think I was ever gonna be fucking found I just happened to stumble into the fucking the rental office and I was walking the price of a two bedroom in this dump you guys get military discounts my old man I don't know where he is but he served and I walked in and I was gay and fucking just freaking out I think they kicked me out of the rental office because I was jamming up the works like I was ready to get guys ready to close somebody on a fucking on a studio meanwhile a little fact it comes in with a tie-dye shirt all the sudden he's got these kids take a walk I'm working here we

hey kid here's a dollar snack machine's down the hall get the fuck out of my face you got kids what the fuck hey go play in those bushes fatty way and then I got a whale on the line over here because I don't remember them taking me to my house I remember leaving they're walking in and then walking out and now like my book bag sliding off my back my coat's half open it's like night of the living dead for lost little fat boys I'm a little fat boy and then I remember fucking I somehow made it back to the bus stop but she was like pulling up flicking a marble probably putting her underwear back on

and I remember my brother laughing in my fucking face about it for so long I remember one time we were playing this is shout out that we were tapestry we were playing tap we were playing it's the name of the neighborhood tapestry it's like a townhouse community well they were they had courts so we went there to play somebody lived in the neighborhood we went there to play roller hockey I was probably like I couldn't drive 14 it like I was yeah probably 14 maybe 12 12 to 14 and I'm in there the same thing it was spring so it didn't get like didn't stay dark out that long right and we're playing like 10 kids didn't stay light out that's when yeah sorry it got dark it was still getting dark early you know seven o'clock or that's when I got

frightening when you were a kid man that sun went why is everything so scary at night even now sometimes I'll just pee my pants so I don't have to get up I hate driving down a fucking empty road at night oh dude I got a game plan for sure something comes out I'm waiting for the slender man to get me knock on wood um but uh we were never hold on I put a pin in that story we were I just went up the uh cat skills not too long ago over a couple of you know a month or two ago not at night shout out the flip and it's in the morning so it was like still weird but it's like when you're thinking you're like oh this is kind of like the beginning of a movie two couples go they're staying in the woods and you're like pick it like so so we in the morning we're like

driving one girl's doing both the guys you were there uh so we're driving the window and you're like in this country roads there's like a house every now and then or whatever it's all windy you know and uh there's this old man like deranged you're looking in his eyes and he ain't there I don't know where he is where was he he's staying in the middle of the road shut the fuck up dude fucking dirty like real dirty jeans not like dirt like mud like he's just had them on for 20 years I would have ran him right over so my buddy flip is driving I'm in the back seat and he's in the middle of the like a country road country road and he's got a little white fluffy dog and the dogs now like we can't see the dog because he's up on the car so the guy's coming to the heart like

he's telling us to get the fuck out of here like but he doesn't know where he is or who he's talking to he's yelling at somebody in another decade in his life oh my god and he's going oh and I'm dude I'm yeah and flip's going hey man you gotta get out of the way and I'm like fucking mulch him dude I'm like or put it in reverse fucking Kate to like fucking you turn let's go kill the headlights and fucking throat reverse I'm like put it I'm like dude fucking reverse like now I'm pat and when I go it's fucking I'm like I'm full-fighter flight I'm like 2020 I don't play no I'm like I'll fucking mold and then he's going like I don't want to run over the dog I'm going fuck the dog this this we got a zombie gonna steal our souls yeah like

fucking let's stick and move what are we doing it's gonna turn us into stone so finally it just took me screaming go so we backed up and then we were able to like fucking zip around but dude fucking dead man fucking walking right then then we fuck that dude we're like two miles away we're conjuring shit too exact I'm like this is how it starts I'm like later that night I'm like nice thing you know you turn around he's in the back seat yeah the dog's driving the fuck dad we get to we get to the like the turkey or whatever like the little convenience store and we're like is there something there's like a crazy guy that walks around here guys slowly turns around that guy's been dead for 37 years or no um do you have a little white dog with him yeah but

I fucking talk so but my we're playing hockey with 12 13 years old whatever and everybody gets picked up right like mrs fucking whoever comes and gets billy and steve hey kev do you need a ride now where my dad's coming fucking you know then mrs johnson comes and get fucking blah blah blah and then finally it's like one other person and then me and then like you know liam's mom comes and it's just like kev you grew with a liam yeah they're like oh see do you need a ride i'm like no no no my dad's coming he said 515 it's now 630 man yeah well he liked to fuck he's got three schlitzes oh he liked the he liked the micklelobes he wasn't a beer guy he was a micklelobe i don't drink beer just micklelobe is it beer or micklelobe uh and plus he was like they had a foil on

the bottles oh yeah those those 80s guys thought they were real classy with those things i know i get a low in brow it's a hike give me a yinger and zip it okay yinger and some mods stick so he fucking uh he i'm talking now it's getting dark and i'm like that's the panic starts setting and you're like am i gonna be here forever i'm like i'm four miles from my house i got roller blades i don't know what i gotta like cross a main road what the fuck's going on here no cell phones i'm just waiting so i'm like oh maybe if i skate if i like i think i might just have my roller blades on maybe i took them off in case i had to make a fucking move be able to get out of all terrain you know what i mean can't be heading up trying to run through the woods zippin around like kasey

jones like a jerk off can't be running through the woods in a set of bowers come on man tripping over the break a little fat kid with a ball cut come on mister don't kill me my dad on his way uh he shows up dude it's like now it's like dark like and i'm like maybe you're so naive or whatever like maybe if i skate i'll like walk to the front of the by the time i get to the front of the thing i'll be pulling in and i'll die sat there like a fucking jerk off till like 10 30 crying i don't think i don't think i was that far from it but i wasn't it only gets in like nothing i'm like where the fuck where is the guy i got tied up with the thing with the guy meanwhile there's like fucking micolobes rolling around in the back seat he played it fast to lose with the open

containers i'll tell you that much yeah that shit was scary yeah again forgot was is tough no bueno oh that was a great question that was great question that was from cg uh this is from james who was an old center city comedy james supported from way back in the day thank you james um do you this is different because we we live in the city so it's a little bit with the air conditioning do you adjust the thermostat when you leave for the day so when you come back or do you just like let it they heat on all day or the yeah we got window units in the city so we crank them but now the new air conditioner we have has some kind of bluetooth remote thing my girlfriend can turn it on when we're close to we're like 20 minutes out like

say we're down at my parents for the weekend i got a vibrator like that hey honey i'm i'm three stops away start the appetizers i'll be home for dinner uh but no like we're we're coming over the gw bridge zip it on yes again it's fucking nice a little different food we're we got the one my mother was a nazi about that oh yeah that's that's the thing it's so insane now my my parents my parents today will sit on the couch in winter jackets like they're out of winter like they're out of eagles game and they're sitting they're sitting on like a fucking three thousand dollar sofa wearing fucking winter jackets i'm like crank the heat up a little bit it's nine bucks here's a 20 i'm here for the weekend it's crazy i just don't get it we weren't allowed to fuck if we even

looked at the thermostat as a kid we got a fucking frying pan in the back of the head it used to be like the turn one then we got the digital one and now that the big thing with us is run program you got to run program if you're leaving they have it on a thing if you leave and press run program it'll take it up to 72 or whatever you know what i mean like it's not gonna full i'm like lady that's garbage you got a couple of bucks i pay the kind of money take it out of the will what are we doing i work too damn hard to get out of my allowance to be fucking give me one slice of bread on the sandwiches yeah i don't know right i'm trying to do keto anyway i love a roll up somebody posted a picture in the uh uh facebook fan page roll it was a pickle in the center with cream cheese and

ham that's trash but also shout out to if you're on uh there's very active facebook groups reddit and now discord which i don't really know a whole bunch of out but there's three active things so if you're on those you can check them out people thank you guys we appreciate the love in this and all that shit it's great um all right let's see um this what this is from jadrian what home remedies did your mom use when you were sick this is a big one for some reason for us ginger ale was like the fucking cure all that ginger ale my mom did fucking nothing dude that and that and some toast oh yeah or sprite my mom like do my we were i'd be like i'm tiga tiga so lean i don't know he's a rapper tiga tiga tiga oh my god you're an idiot that was a stretch

should have said travis scott god damn it i think what fat kids always funny one man two same drops in the same show it's gonna have to talk to my attorney um sprite sprite it was like if you were the fuck oh no that is it was the 90s dude sprite was a health drink root beer no it was sprite and toast it was a clear liquids it was the thing anything clear i didn't do shit yeah you know what my mom got into i think ketamine a little bit of sarah quill stopped the screaming um was cryptic you know what cryptic is no but it does not sound classy it's some kind of polish liqueur like lemon ginger something liqueur and she would give us a little bit of that in a cup of tea and when you're like fucking 12

that's fucking it's fucking lights out yeah well we used to do for toothaches was the jack daniel yeah little fuck you up little jack daniel's on the fucking num rubbing nummies with jd you wonder why i got such a fucking problem taste for the booze yeah yeah that shit would fuck we we would do that over like let's go get some fucking ambisol what do you give me fucking evan williams for i know i think it's some at some point in the 90s we obviously there was a little i mean like you know it was fucking they would rub it on your gums when you were teething too they'd rub a little but like well we would do shit to like cut three bucks you know what i mean like yeah we're not going to do this do this i'm like what like looking back i'm like what the

fuck were we saving the pennies for you know what i mean fucking just go buy some ambisol or some fucking ore gel or whatever they're like we're all you know like taking oh i think whoever's got a thing what are we doing using old neosporin i remember recycling antibiotics like oh well uh someone so still has some antibiotics that they didn't take i'll get you them sure i think someone's got a half a z pack they almost killed me one time with that because they got me uh antibiotics for somebody else and i was allergic to whatever the antibiotics were and i remember distinctly because i felt like i had glass in my stomach and it was taco night ate a cup it was taco night and i remember being so pissed off because i couldn't have the tacos see a lot's changed

fucking sucks mom that's probably why they gave it to me so i'd stay with save a couple bucks on the ground beef um you know what i used to fucking love uh dime a tap remember that no what dime a tap yeah the cold stuff who are you diane keaton for the dime a tap what the fuck is that you don't know what dime a tap is great dime a tap no we got robot tossing like a fucking gentleman damn that was heavy duty stuff i had a i had to operate heavy machinery i used to love cough medicine when i was that's what that dime a tap was fucking cough medicine right back in here yeah one time i drank a half a bottle of cough medicine when i was sick and my mother freaked the fuck out drug me to the pharmacy got ipecac drug me back home was it the 20s ipecac

yeah got on top of me like pin me down i'm listening can we lower the lights in here please got on top of me like fucking like you know like blocked my arms with their knees and like open my mouth and poured ipecac down my throat so i would throw up it's like good times check please this guy's a fucking looney too so love cough medicine and cough drops i loved it i was a kid ludens good night are they national do you think ludens i don't know but they there was they there was no medicinal it was just lifesavers yeah it was just cherry my mom would send me to school with a thing of ludens that wouldn't even make it to the fucking bus stop i'd be boofing those things ludens on the bus yeah those i can't get out of fucking 20 other chips at the burgada

get your fucking dick sucked in the back think my bag's in my room will you i'll be at the tables if you need carry my bags to home room will you stretch here's a couple of ludens treat yourself here's a couple of ludens you know what was real nice too in high school or even college um a nice halls and then a bernie really clean out the airways for the fucking seagate that was fucking a nice cherry halls and then crank a marb light yo my daddy i don't really perk up to years for you a regular halls when you were a kid might as well been a fucking shot of cutty stark what i remember they would give me i remember being like what the i remember when my sister like started preferring

them i'm like this broad was she driving truck what's happening here dude those things were fucking medicinal i don't know why but my dad now eats cough drops like they're mints and he'll ask you in the middle of the summer you want a cough drop what the fuck do i want a cough drop for you fucking psycho it's fucking july 4th you're offering me a cough drop i'm fucking fireworks going off i don't want to fuck a cough drop in the summer dude those halls man they the fucking triangle ones or the square ones they had a little dip in the center they first of all they'd slash your tongue like a fucking east coast sprinkler talk about glass oh god holy shit so we used to she used to put those in uh like medicinal wrap them in cheese so you would eat them

treat like a schnauzer fucking wrapping a piece of lunch of me you and your brother jumping around the kitchen fucking fat idiots no you're talking about homemade remedies she would put a cough drop in a thing of boiling water make you drink that i company yeah i guess remember oh you know it was a really bad holy shit chloro septic oh that was like that was for fucking that was like tidy bowl i don't know what that you want i was like to clean the fucking urinals chloro septic no those things that fucking yeah oh oh that's i thought you meant to oh i'm thinking of sepa call no never the things that came in like the altoids pack yeah no no chloro septic oh get out of here you had to hold me down to get benched in me you needed a super soaker and

a fucking really good shot to get that to back of my throat i just felt i might have a panic attack thinking about that that was like half cocaine i'm pretty sure dude it was like fucking ethanol it was something it burned like especially for like a six year i remember the one time i had i'm looking back it was heartburn but i didn't know what it was as a kid oh my god and i was doing that to take the edge off because i had all this fucking acid coming up my throat fucking real hotty huh get the fuck out of here with the course there was a there was a bottle of chloro septic in my same bottle for fucking 22 years that stuff put it under this put it under the sink with the other chemicals i'm so trashy though i can say this when i was a kid in the winter i used to love the cold

and flu commercials there was something cozy about them it almost make you want it to be sick a little bit methamphetamine fix it was you know it was season was it was like core cb whatever the fuck it was oh holy shit what do you got i think we got time for one more yeah all right then let's i want to do this then this was this is all a bennett this is from a listener ben he was sent in this is a piece that he sent in okay um this is a message he sent uh and he had sent it in the in the facebook chat and i saw it immediately i saw the alert and i was like delete this i

want to do it on the show and so you wouldn't see this might be new level wacky and sane garbage i love it okay guys i've been holding on to this one until now i swear my this isn't our ben is it our friend ben no okay i swear i swear in my life this is all true this is my great aunt marge mccool sounds like a fucking winner already my great aunt marge is internet famous she was my grandfather's sister i grew up across the street from my grandparents and aunt marge was always around and she always was driving a corvette or another sports car okay a couple of bucks um i was always told aunt marge worked an antique store which is why she's always bringing us awesome old stuff well i found out by accident from my college girlfriend that my great aunt marge at the

ripe old age of 77 was in fact a stripper wow whoo my son has set a cans on her marge mccool more like marge mccool and had been for decades i was stunned to say the least oh so she wasn't a stripper at 74 she was in her younger days no still working currently at 77 wow hence the vet got a little bit of gauge yeah you know gotta play the part can't be showing up in a fucking beat up lumina mm-hmm aunt marge is also internet famous as the lady who married a 31 year old wow 77 marries a 31 year old so good punani she probably kept it tight kegels at all my parents were also at the day 200 500 world dare where dale earnhardt had died at jesus the intimidator rest in peace wow you don't think we were a grow if you weren't an ascar

guy of course my step that big race guy richard petty your dale earnhardt that was it no jeff gordon it was it was oh fuck jeff gordon pretty boy it was oh we i hated jeff gordon for somebody i don't even know why me well probably a good guy um my first car which was a my grandfather oh this my grandfather was on the local news was in the local newspaper for having seen an alien spacecraft back in the 80s my first car was a ford ranger which i sold for a dodge neon which i then sold for a dodge dakota this guy's fucking garbage of the year he goes do you think i'm garbage and then nine and then he sends the link to aunt marge mccool or whatever 91 year old great granny

boast about her sex life with 31 year old male is there a picture of her yeah end she looks 91 maybe 88 holy shit yeah you're what he wants come on next level fucking banana dude the grandfather seeing an alien spacecraft that's awesome fucking trash there when fucking dale earnhardt died that's like that's like forest gump level of garbage yeah moment in history though he went out hard yeah and i don't know really it was like a little pussy crash now what are you talking snap to his neck yeah with the crash let's start running your mouth hey i'm a big disrespect we're an intimidator family we are for sure do you like dale earnhardt jr though yeah well known in our household as jr jr's running got pulled that's what you got the lingo juniors running got

pulled your garbage and you stink but guys thank you so much for listening we appreciate it please as always these fucking questions were awesome we got the yes 10 of them and we love this and hopefully you guys love the uh the family episodes we're gonna be doing this once a month uh just because the fucking questions are just fun too it's casual it's a hang you know me and the big man get to chop it up a little bit yeah we love you guys guys make sure you will please rate review subscribe on itunes also full video available on youtube and also uh gas digital network you can sign up there use promo code a yg we get to what our beak a little bit it's a good time uh thank you so much we got some new shirts coming out too yeah and a little bit yeah we have a lot

a lot of new stuff coming up it'll be a lot of fun stuff we love you guys we'll see you next week peace