Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Gary Vaynerchuk!

Episode Date: September 15, 2025

Are You Garbage presents entrepreneur, author and internet personality Gary Vaynerchuk! You know Gary Vaynerchuk from Gary Vee Podcast, the Joe Rogan Experience, Full Send Podcast, The Iced Coffee Hou...r, Tea with Gary Vee, Hot Ones, Daily Vees, GaryVee Q&A and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Ethos: Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/AYG. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. BlueChew: https://bluechew.com Promo Code: Garbage Lucy Goods: http://lucy.co/garbage Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Calling Seattle, Portland, San Fran, Braia, California. The boys are coming west, baby. We're taking the Oregon Trail out to the left coast, and we're coming to see you. Grab the squad and come on out. Yeah, if you're a dirtbag, we need you there, baby. All tickets available at are you garbage.com. See you there. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage,
Starting point is 00:00:22 the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that it to be classy.
Starting point is 00:00:46 Yeah. To just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootie's in the new edition. She's upstairs on the computer doing a little catfish. All right. Good for her.
Starting point is 00:00:57 Mike Coase is coming out even right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He's an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world, and I love him. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan. You can't call me an international businessman in front of the only international businessman we've ever had in here. What's up, gang? Shout out to you.
Starting point is 00:01:13 Make sure you rate if you, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube, full video available over there on Spotify. Then the greatest website of all time, www. www. patreon.com slash are you garbage? Go over there and get all that bonus content, gang. Yes, sir, gang. And we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly. I'm an incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. You can hear him every week on his amazing podcast, the Gary Vee audio experience.
Starting point is 00:01:35 He is a very successful entrepreneur, CEO, investor, content creator, podcaster, public speaker. Let's not forget multi-millionaire. How you doing? And Hot Wheels, aficionado. Give it up for Gary Vaynerchuk, everybody. Let's go. Gary Vee. God, I feel so uncomfortably comfortable in this setting.
Starting point is 00:01:56 Literally, for everybody who's listening, Me and my team said, hey, we got this heart out because I actually run businesses, but I'm already in my brain like, fuck, man. I think I'm going to go over. The vibe is so right. We'll get you in and out, baby. Honestly, I'm humbled to be here.
Starting point is 00:02:10 Thank you, boys. Congrats on everything you've been doing. Thank you, bro. And I'm ready to rock and roll. Congrats on everything you've been doing. Thank you. Unbelievable. We're so happy to have you here.
Starting point is 00:02:18 Give us the origin story. Give us the backstory of Gary Vee. Start from childhood. Jersey roots. Moved here, yeah. Jersey roots after the pre-routes of being born in the Soviet Union. So real immigrant shit, born in the USSR in 1975. Damn.
Starting point is 00:02:34 Moved here in 78 to Queens. Uh-huh. I mean, real. I just get out. We got out because I got out as a political asylum refugee. Oh, shit. What happened was the Soviet Union hated Jews and just were like, fuck these people. Let's get the fuck out of here.
Starting point is 00:02:52 And we're hearing that America's willing to give us some wheat. The dirty secret of why the USSR face. was they spent so much money on bombs. They had no fucking bread. Damn. Like literally the Soviet Union collapsed because they overspent on military trying to keep up with the U.S.
Starting point is 00:03:08 That literally my parents tell me stories about waiting nine years in line for a phone, nine hours in line for a loaf of bread. It really fucking fell apart. Damn, that's how we did it over, bed them. Literally, literally out-arms raced up. Reagan was right. He's like, let's just make more bombs.
Starting point is 00:03:26 They'll follow us. They did. And it was even happening before there. Nonetheless, thank God, got the fuck out of there. And we lived in a shitty studio apartment in Queens with my great-grandparents, my grandmother, my parents and I. You know, this is this like-
Starting point is 00:03:41 Everybody came over at the same time? My great-grandparents, on my father's side, my great-grandparents, my grandmother, his mom, and then me and my mom, and then his cousin, so my dad's on my mom's side. My mom lost her mom at five. Okay. My dad lost his dad at 15.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Okay. Very big. foundation of my childhood. Gotcha. The fear of my parents dying was the soundtrack of my life. Like real talk. I got you.
Starting point is 00:04:05 Nightmairs, which is why I am who I am because I'm so grateful they didn't that I literally feel for the last 30 years I've been in full house money. Like you've won. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm so glad so many people can't associate with me when I say this, and I don't talk about it often,
Starting point is 00:04:20 so I'm giving you an exclusive. There we go. That's Gary V. Exclusive, Guy. Sweep's week. I'm happy that a lot of people can't understand what I'm saying they didn't live in an environment plus we were immigrants everything was like
Starting point is 00:04:33 we're gonna, immigrants especially from that Soviet era like if you lived to 50 you fucking made it. That's playing with house money. What Americans especially don't realize is those Russians were miserable. The reason everybody fucking was an alcoholic drinking vodka was you lived in jail. Here's a fun fact
Starting point is 00:04:49 most people don't realize the USSR was more North Korea than it was Iran meaning we weren't allowed to leave. If you When I was born, I was born into a country that is more similar to North Korea than it is to Iran. If you're born in Iran, you can go to places
Starting point is 00:05:09 they just don't allow you to go there. But you can go to Turkey, you can go to places. You can go to places. You can get a visa to Canada. We were locked the fuck up. People were miserable. And it wasn't a good time. And it wasn't a good time.
Starting point is 00:05:22 And everybody went to jail and it was KGB and it was fucked. Anyway, I go- How old were you when you were? I was three. It was 78. And so, you know, I was in America in 78, but my household, even when we moved to Jersey in 82, was still Belarus. It was fucking Soviet, was fucking Soviet was at the door of that motherfucker.
Starting point is 00:05:43 Like, I love talking to, like, and I grew up and it was. Which is such a culture shock to then, like, go to public school in Jersey or whatever. Bro, it's. Your dad's KBG and you. Bro, bro, it's so obvious why I'm unstoppable. Like between the Soviet shit. This guy charges me up. It does, he really does.
Starting point is 00:06:01 But it's really real. Like, growing up in a Soviet household and then outside your door is lower middle class, New Jersey in the 80s. That's a top. Like, I don't know. By the way, let's drop it even further. I went to Martin Luther King Elementary School.
Starting point is 00:06:22 I was laughing on the way here. I'm like, these fuckers are going to be like, are you garbage? I'm like, what's below garbage? Sure. You know what I mean? Like, what's the thing? Like, it was such adversity.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Uh-huh. But here's the point. Just like your auntie upsteer that you love so much. Uh-huh. My mother was such a fucking monster. Yeah. She was so loving. It was so good.
Starting point is 00:06:41 So even though I didn't have shit, I had everything. Yeah. Which was complete validation, real love, but not this new modern over-coddling bullshit. Yeah. Like my mom, it was still a Belarus mom, dude. I don't teach you. But she, honestly, fucking. a fucking angel, except if you thought about
Starting point is 00:07:00 being disrespectful to her. So I got super fortunate. I had all the love, you're the best, you're a star, you're gonna be everything. I think that I wanna tell my mom like, no, I wanna do this, slap in a face. Like, it was perfect. So I had perfect mom and perfect environment.
Starting point is 00:07:16 You can't be hungry when you're fed. I had a fend for myself from the get. I knew my parents were not buying me toys. It's just not part of the equation. We only cared about food and shelter. It was real rugged shit. And then outside, none of my friends had shit either. Everybody had nothing.
Starting point is 00:07:34 Like, I fucking lived in, like, a neighborhood where, like, my, Eric Godfrey, my best bud, he lived in, like, a ranch that was much more a trailer. This is in Jersey. This is in Jersey. Okay. Okay. Like, and by the way, like every,
Starting point is 00:07:50 every third day at Martin Luther King Elementary School, It's 315 flagpole, Tyson versus fucking Lennox Lewis, Sugar Ray versus Hagler. Like, big fights. You, I laugh how everyone's so disrespectful now on social media. Like, the thought of, like, if you said, you get smacked around. Bro. Yeah, it's crazy. We fought constantly.
Starting point is 00:08:13 Sure. And everybody was bigger than me. And, like, and you had all cultures. I grew up so lucky. In Martin Luther King Elementary School, black, Indian, Chinese, Asian, American. American white trash. Like, it was perfect. So I never even thought about, like,
Starting point is 00:08:32 I didn't grow up with all the kids being like me. Everybody was from all over the fucking place. And then it was WWF 80s, so Nikolai fucking Volkov. Everybody called me Nikolai fucking Volkov. I'd assume you had to take some heat for the Russian thing back then. It was actually the most heat I took was Russia in 82 shot down a commercial plane. It became like this crisis. I'd be sick that day.
Starting point is 00:08:54 Yeah, I ain't told you to school. Yeah, everybody hated me. I was like, fuck. But you think they wouldn't? You'd be like, boys, I got out. What do you mean? I'm on your side. It was, it was that.
Starting point is 00:09:03 So anyway, that was kind of the environment I was growing up in, and that led me to entrepreneurship. Yeah. Right? It was like lemonade stands and shoveling. Like, it snowed. Snow day, this is the best. All my buddies are like, let's fucking throw snowballs at each other's faces. I was like, fuck that.
Starting point is 00:09:19 Let's all get shovels, ring doorbells, and make $5. It was in me from, in the same way. You got them all working for. You guys know this. It's not confusing you today. You understand the comedy thing was in you and then cultivated. In fact, I is so, in fact, some of the best compliments I've been given in my life for me are actually very successful comedians who like my content, who watch my keynotes and say
Starting point is 00:09:42 to me, you do know that your keynote speeches have a comedic stand-up, you know, context and style. Yeah, we've used them for years. I swear to God, literally, no, as far as like, I remember Kevin turned me on you. I'm like, this guy gets it and we can apply. apply this to our comedy career as far as hustling and working and... Yeah, well, it was... I mean, also, too, a sense of humor is very valued in blue-collar, poor neighborhoods, whatever.
Starting point is 00:10:06 That's like, that's what you have. You're breaking balls, you're busting chops. It's like... It's also protecting. Yeah, of course. Like, the way I got my face not beat in a lot of times was having... Charisma and self, and kind of making a joke. And to your point, this is what I love about, like, modern...
Starting point is 00:10:21 I'm like, when bullying became everyone's radar 15 years ago, I'm like, This is bullying? Fuck, I was bullied every hour on the hour by my best friends. Like, that was all we did. I know. I know. So it's, uh, it's, uh, it's very much in, you speak the language of a comedian. It's very, very much, uh, seen for sure.
Starting point is 00:10:38 All right. Let's get into specifics. We'll start in Jersey. Okay. Okay. So what, what is, is it? No brothers and sisters. It's just you?
Starting point is 00:10:44 Only child? I was born in the old country. Uh-huh. We come to America. Right. And my sister is born pretty much right away. Okay. And we called her garbage, baby.
Starting point is 00:10:52 This is not a joke. I couldn't wait to share this with you. My sister's nickname in our family is garbage, baby, because everything she had. Because we, I'm talking, forget about 82, Edison, 83. We were already, like, on our way to upper, excuse me, on our, we were in lower middle class. 1978, 79 Vaynerchucks in Queens, we were dirt, fucking poor. Okay. My sisters, what do you, what do you put a kid in a cab, a, bassinet?
Starting point is 00:11:23 Basset. This is real. My sister's bassinet in Queens, Rigo Park, 1979-80, was a car seat that my cousin Bobby found in the garbage. Jesus Christ. Put on a table and she sat in it. That was where she sat. No shit.
Starting point is 00:11:43 Like it was ever, like, we would take shit from garbage and give it to her. Put in our house. She, so my sister Liz is three and a half years. He was younger to me, garbage baby. And then my brother was born in 87 while we were still in Edison, New Jersey. But I grew up with my sister. Gotcha. Okay.
Starting point is 00:12:01 So what's the house in Jersey when you guys land there? So first we went from Queens to Dover, which was like a low... Delaware? No, Dover, New Jersey. Okay. Yep. Dover, New Jersey. I don't know where that is.
Starting point is 00:12:12 It's got to be... If it's worse than Dover, Delaware, that's a bad look. That's a bad look. Dover, New Jersey was lower, lower middle class at the time. What's your dad doing at this point? He's a stock boy in a liquor store. Okay. Okay, all right.
Starting point is 00:12:23 He's making $2.25 an hour. Your mom's not working. She's taking care of you guys. Old school. You know, this is how they did it back then. They didn't give a fuck. Everyone's like, no, you need a two-income home. Sure.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Like, no, you just live. How my wife's that. You live less. Here's what the problem is in modern society. And I'm an entrepreneur, and I'm a capitalist. But we have become so fucking materialistic. Yeah. We now think a necessity is a $9 coffee and taking an Uber.
Starting point is 00:12:51 A necessity. Let's not get crazy This guy's nuts I like the luxury You know what I mean? You know what I mean? No, no, of course I like a cold brewing an SUV
Starting point is 00:13:00 I don't know what to tell you But brother, I think you guys both know this Like, when I grew up Like, everyone had a used car Oh yeah, yeah, yeah Sure Like, show me that now Yeah
Starting point is 00:13:10 The poorest fucker you know has Alexis I know Yeah We've completely got the script Fucked up Yeah Anyway, yes, my mom stayed home Because my, because they were old
Starting point is 00:13:19 Don't forget They grew up in the 50s and 60s in the Soviet Union. That was like the 20s and 30s in America. So they're like, no, no. Like the wife, like the mom stays home and the moms. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Greatest thing that happened to me.
Starting point is 00:13:30 Right. And so, no, my dad's making nothing. We're living in Dover. This is now in Dover. Okay. And then everybody quits the liquor store. Right. On one day, there was only six people at this liquor store.
Starting point is 00:13:42 And he becomes the de facto manager. Okay. So now he's making a little bit more. And this was kind of just by twist of fate that he got into the... No. My dad had a great uncle. who was born in the Soviet Union, his grandmother's brother.
Starting point is 00:13:54 Uh-huh. His grandmother's brother, yes. But he came to America in the 20s before the whole Soviet thing. Uh-huh. And he made it big in America. Okay. And so he owned a lot of real estate
Starting point is 00:14:04 in Jersey and he owned a liquor store. He was going to take care of us when we came to America. Uh-huh. When we came to America, when they let these Soviets out in the late 70s, you had to go to Italy
Starting point is 00:14:12 for a couple of months to get your papers right and then come here. No shit. You know some of these Russians? Had to get the dust off you a little bit. You know what I mean? They had to make sure
Starting point is 00:14:19 you weren't a fucking spy. They had to vet you, you know. They had to make sure we weren't spies. While we're in Italy, we get a fucking letter, the dude dies. No shit. So now we're like, fuck, the sugar daddy's not there. That sucks, dude. You're sitting there with your ticket to America.
Starting point is 00:14:32 And it's trying to get back into Russia. And then we really fucking got unlucky because the economy collapsed. It was the Carter years. So my parents are like, we're going to fucking America. The streets are paved with gold. We get to America. My grandma gets mugged on the fourth day. I'm being dead serious.
Starting point is 00:14:50 I'm being dead soon. How are you doing? Go do that trash, lady. I hate to do this because today's my dad's 72nd birthday. Big shout out, Sasha Vaynerchuk. Happy birthday. That motherfucker wanted to go back. Really?
Starting point is 00:15:02 Yep. I hate to do this to him, and he hates this story. And my mom loves to get him. This place stinks. I'm going home. Think about that. Sure. It was so fucking rough the first three months.
Starting point is 00:15:14 He's like, fuck it. Let's go back to suppression. Yeah, that's crazy. Let's sneak back in. to fucking rush you. So it's that bad. Damn. This is what's happened.
Starting point is 00:15:23 We're in Dover. We're there for a year or two. And then what happens is there's this, I've been getting very nerdy, but fuck it, we're here. Yeah. My dad's in the liquor business, the liquor store, and something called deregulation happened. In the 70s and 80s, a lot of the American liquor laws were still stuck. Pennsylvania is still kind of that way. They are.
Starting point is 00:15:39 They have state stores. That's right. It's loosening up a little bit. But New Hampshire, Utah, Pennsylvania is still state stores. Everything was regulated, mafia, you know, the, you know, the prohibitive. New Jersey goes deregulating. Here's what that meant. Prior to 1981,
Starting point is 00:15:56 everybody who owned a liquor store had to sell a product at a certain markup. So you bought it for $10 and everybody had to sell it for at least $13 or more. But because that was plenty of profit, they sold it at $13. Deregulation happens and now you can sell that shit for $10 in one cent.
Starting point is 00:16:13 So it's good for the consumer. My dad catches that wave as the manager. He obviously was a good entrepreneur in his day. He teams up with some other small liquor stores. They start a co-op. They start advertising in the Star Ledger at New Jersey's newspaper, and he starts to cook, and the business explodes.
Starting point is 00:16:29 As the manager. As the manager. Who's the owner? The owner is the son of the great uncle, so in essence, my dad's second cousin, third or whatever the fuck, right? That guy's a depot baby. Right. He's like, fuck it.
Starting point is 00:16:43 I don't like this. My long-lost Russian relatives starting to cook and make me even more money. Okay. My dad's no idiot. He's like, yo, can I be a full? fucking partner. They make a deal, and now my dad owns a little bit of the store. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:54 The store goes from $150,000 a year to a couple million a year. Okay. He's able to take a little something. Now we move to Edison. We got a fucking little townhouse. Okay. Now we're moving the fuck up. Welcome to America, baby.
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Starting point is 00:18:37 So do yourself a favor. Get some Blue Chew when you're going to spark up some action with the lady or whoever you're with. Listen, you don't have to be old and you don't have to be old. You don't have to be old. You don't have to be old. overweight. You don't have to be bald. You don't have to have a little, you know, whatever. I don't know. Small weiner. But it helps.
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Starting point is 00:19:37 and thanks to bluechew for sponsoring a podcast we love you go get hard yes sir discover your options at bluechoo dot com back to the show all right and so what is you open up a place Nope. We live in Edison. The store's in Clark, 15 minutes off, right up the Turnpike. Okay. You can literally see it if you're going down to Turnpike. And that's how he cooks from 1980 to about 1989.
Starting point is 00:19:59 Okay. And that's where I live, my Kevin Arnold. Right. You know, wonder years, like, fucking out of a fucking movie, stranger things. Gotcha. Everything I'm looking at here. 100%. I can, by the time I'm, now we're poor at five, but at nine, I can, I can.
Starting point is 00:20:16 and buy a Skeletor. Sick. You know, like, I'm starting to live. I'm American. That's the age you really get it, too. I know what the fuck Rambo. Now I'm American. Rambo.
Starting point is 00:20:25 Hulk Hogan. Rocky. Fuck you, Drago. Like, I'm fucking in it. It's called assimilation, baby. Let's go. Full assimilation, right? And I'm a fucking Jersey boy.
Starting point is 00:20:36 Become a Jets fan playing. Your football, fucking whiffle ball. Fucking, you know, spin the bottle in sixth grade. All the shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the shit. I dig it. But we start going from low.
Starting point is 00:20:46 This is an epiphany my siblings and I had recently. We're like, wait a minute. We went from lower middle class to middle class, and then later when I got involved in the business and started blowing up quickly to upper middle class, quickly to wealthy. But we still lived like shit. I went on two family vacations my whole life.
Starting point is 00:21:04 That's what I asked you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where were they? And when? First one was 1986. Okay. So you've been here eight, ten years. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:12 My dad doesn't even go because he's got to work. You got to work the store. You know what I mean? That's exactly correct. By the way, I can't go. I'm working the store. Yeah. And no credit card.
Starting point is 00:21:22 My mom takes cash. We run out of it, by the way. We go to Orlando. Nice. Disney World and stay in the holiday in. Woo! Off campus, baby. That's how you do it.
Starting point is 00:21:33 So off, yeah, we didn't even know where to fuck campus was. You flew down there, I assume. Flew down there. My mom threw up. She gets motion sickness. I'm fucking taking care of my sister. I'm like, you know, that's being an immigrant first. child man you're a fucking man sure at 10 how's your mom's English amazing okay like both of them
Starting point is 00:21:53 you know train you know this both my parents have heavy Russian accents mm-hmm but they they speak fucking English gotcha though they're going backwards all right there's a big shout out to my parents so you're not running the show on the vacation a real quick please mom dad can you stop watching fucking Russian TV I call you now and you start talking Russian instead of English you're going backwards it's fucking with me dad you're 72 now mom you just turned 70 I'm starting to get worried you're starting to like stop going fucking backwards that's their shows they like it back to the so you weren't running point that like on on the vacation like that your mom your mom was speaking English and you handle all that yeah yeah by
Starting point is 00:22:27 this point you know listen one of the great things about like if you two both move to India right now and forget about like the eye it's not get crazy yeah the AirPods that translate that just got announced like you what are you gonna do be a mute like you learn the language right and kids learn I'm gonna hop on a plane and head back to JFK That's what I'm going to know. Please stop in Italy before I come back. Wow. Okay.
Starting point is 00:22:48 Huh. Yeah, sorry. Please. What was your mom, your mom a good cook? I assume she was cooking most of the meals. You're not eating out. You're not. Do you remember Eddie Murphy's bit where he talked about, like, Mom, I want McDonald's
Starting point is 00:22:59 and she made, like, the fucking, like, do you know this bit? It was a big stand-up. I don't remember if it was raw or the other one. Like, where she's like, and my mom's like, I'll make you McDonald's and I'll make, but she's, like, put onion and egg. My house was crazy. My mom literally lived a 1940s housewife life like kids outside start to cook lunch Kids back in do laundry clean the house lunch but out start cooking dinner all from scratch
Starting point is 00:23:25 I remember my mom my mom tells this great story of the neighbor ordering out an Italian sub And her and like the Russian aunts being like these American women looking through the window They're fucking ordering sandwiches for dinner are you fucking kidding like you know like it was Such immigrant shit. No kidding. But my mom was not a passionate cook. My grandma, my mom's, my dad's mom, would come on my mom's birthday every year. She lived in Queens her whole life when we immigrated.
Starting point is 00:23:56 She would come to visit us on my mom's birthday, May 3rd, and she stayed with us until my dad's birthday, September 10. Damn. So I grew up with my grandma, too. She was a more passionate cook, so she also chopped it up. The boorish, stuff like that, knocking that stuff out. Yeah, man. Real weird shit. Like cow tongues. All right
Starting point is 00:24:12 Like kids would come over Pomegranates in the 80s My American friends were like That's tough to show a kid from Martin The King Elementary School We thought some fucking cowlid Looks like alien food Yeah people
Starting point is 00:24:21 This is the era of like the worst food Like Wonderbread and baloney And McDonald's was like And Red Lobster was like Three Star Michelin And like I mean literally This is no bullshit I wore a suit
Starting point is 00:24:33 A $10 Kmart Cmart suit Yeah To the Red Lobster in Woodbridge New Jersey In the Toys R Us shopping center Like a gentleman For my 10th birthday?
Starting point is 00:24:43 Let's go, dude. Because that's how boogey red lobster was for us in 1985. Yeah, that's great. Just, I need you, hold on, boys. We get it, we get it. I wore a $10 blue suit to fucking red lobster. I respect it, baby. So this is why.
Starting point is 00:25:03 Vayner Chuck, party of 45, please. This is literally why everything for me is gratitude. Sure. And I'm completely on a. affected because all this boozy shit I do now, it's just so ingrained who the fuck I actually am and it's all this shit. Yeah. No, I understand because when you start, you know, you know, we started making a couple of bucks,
Starting point is 00:25:25 we started spending it and you're like, the hell this, I don't need it. You start realizing, like, I don't need any of this. Of course, because it's back to like black t-shirts and, you know, Levi's blue shirt. I haven't quite crashed that concept yet. You're spending for others. Yeah. Right? You're impressing.
Starting point is 00:25:39 You're trying to impress the opposite sex, your boys. The people that made fun of you, the people that told you you couldn't, whether it's your parents or boys. He gets me. What was the snacks? Was there any type of Americanization as far as culinary stuff in the house? Fast. Even though we had the hardcore borsh and fucking cottage cheese and fucking,
Starting point is 00:25:58 Russians eat potatoes like it's fucking oxygen. Potatoes and all this shit. No, we were fully Americanized into junk food pretty quickly. Great. I like it. The amount of Coca-Cola that I consume. Okay. From 1983.
Starting point is 00:26:13 Uh-huh. To 2,000. Talk about unregulated, baby. Here's a brain fuck. Get that 3-liter in you. Let me give you the brain fuck of Russians. Warm. Really?
Starting point is 00:26:24 The Europeans, everybody else does that. The warm drinks. No, no. Let me give it to you. Hardcore. What? Coca-Cola, 2-liter bottle warm on my nightstand. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:26:36 You wake up and you're parched. Swig. How old are you? nine that's like hitting smelling salts dude what he was a divorce cop that's crazy guys when I tell you that was cool your mom let that fly we thought that was the norm that's why I would argue that coke my sister's gonna laugh her fucking tits off from this show we used Coca-Cola like Listerine yeah like Listerine it does it's the bubbles will give you a little by the way even though we ate all private label poor shit soda was coke because my dad had the liquor store and he brought it from
Starting point is 00:27:11 the store got it go right to applause so we were we were we were fucking upper east side on the soda and then our chips were not Doritos that's okay they were smoritos but but the the beverages were proper uh-huh what were you doing as far as
Starting point is 00:27:27 lunch to school you aren't rolling in with a bowl of borsh to school were you no no lunch at school was always back so funny MLK grammar school not middle school was not paid everything was like given to you So I just ate It was the lunch
Starting point is 00:27:42 I didn't bring lunch It was good because a lot Listen, we were fucking poor A lot of the kids in MLK Were even on the other side of the tracks The kids that were beating everybody up for their money Those fuckers, I'm so glad Everybody got lunch
Starting point is 00:27:55 Because I don't know what the fuck Those kids would have come with Gotcha You know, so no That was the lunch scene was like You know A fucking pizza that probably gave us all cancer Sure
Starting point is 00:28:06 It's good pizza though Good pizza though Do you drink milk with dinner growing up at all strictly so... No milk. No milk. No milk in the house? Milk in the house
Starting point is 00:28:13 strictly for cereal. Cereal was religion. My mom's one splurge was Frosted Flakes. She was addicted. She was fucking addicted. Woman after my own heart. And it was Kellogg's.
Starting point is 00:28:24 We didn't fuck around with like shop right. Frost. Like she... Some things you go name brand. I'm sorry. Corn. I'm sorry. Cornflakes.
Starting point is 00:28:31 Cornflakes. My bad. I respect that too. Corn Flakes. Corn Flakes. Corn Flakes. Kellog's cornflakes was my mom's big splurge for her. Milk was only...
Starting point is 00:28:39 for cereal, and it was whole fucking milk, and don't fuck around with this bullshit. I like it. All right. What was the family car growing up? The son of the guy who was going to take care of us had a sister. Aunt Arlene. This is huge.
Starting point is 00:28:59 This is already a dirtbag story. What was your car? Well, Arlene used to have a Toyota. You're going to die right now. They were bougie. They were rich as fuck, at least by the state. Anders back then, Arlene got my dad a white Toyota
Starting point is 00:29:14 that was a used car, and that was our first car. My dad didn't know that you'd have put gas into it. What? Ran out of gas the first time. Literally, like, literally, I mean, bro, we were fucking Russian immigrants. Wait, there was no car. You didn't guys have a car in the Soviet Union?
Starting point is 00:29:29 Of course not. No, no car? No. Nobody had whips over there? No. You literally, my dad and mom walked to work. I was like, how far was it? They're like, an hour and a half. Yeah, that's crazy. Just to remind you. You see Rocky 4? Remember when he trained? Yeah, with the snow?
Starting point is 00:29:42 With the snow, bro. And the guys in the Mercedes falling behind him. Why do you think, like, I'm not scared of anyone? Yeah. You think an American can beat me? Not with that attitude, baby. You know what I mean? And I'm talking, not this new version American that we all make fun of.
Starting point is 00:29:58 Yeah. 80s American, yeah. An 80s American didn't scare me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Like, and so, no, we didn't know that shit. So Toyota. And then when we got into, Dad started getting the liquor. for cooking, I remember my mom's first car was a, was a, a, a, a, a, uh, a, a, uh, Mercury
Starting point is 00:30:19 Topaz. Is that right? Yeah. 186 Mercury Topaz. Put that in. Put that in. Yep. Yeah. Mercury. Yeah. Mercury. Yeah. 19, early 90s, Mercury topaz. So that's what we had. That was like, and that, by the way, that Mercury Topaz was like a fucking Ferrari. Yeah. We were like, holy shit. A, holy shit, mom's got a car. That was first. Mom's got a car, not just dad. Because when dad just had the car, we couldn't go anywhere. You're stuck.
Starting point is 00:30:48 You're stuck. He's at work. The good thing was, I went outside. You just leave. My fucking mother had no clue where the fuck I was from the time I was six. No clue. Would open the door and be like, kids! Like, would like scream some sort of like fucking tribal fucking.
Starting point is 00:31:08 And you would always know. your mom or dad's call or whistle compared to someone else as you're like shit that's Gary's dad he's fucked plus it was community fucking work my mom would be like cut a call and then like another friend's mom would hear it because we were further away
Starting point is 00:31:23 and she'd be like cut or co like you know like it was my friend Robbie was a good time bro it was a bro my best friend Robbie Ternick his mom smacked me in the face for doing something wrong I remember in 84 and it was like
Starting point is 00:31:38 drinking Coca-Cola All the warm. It was like, of course, like, sorry, Ms. Turnick. Yeah. She was my mom, too? And so was Denise, my sister's best friend, Ms. Lori? She was my mom. Everyone was your mom.
Starting point is 00:31:50 Sure. We don't have that shit anymore. Do that now you get sued or something. Of course. All right. Let's go to high school. How were the grades? And any extra curriculars, any sports, anything like that?
Starting point is 00:32:00 So, let me give you this story. We then move. Okay. I live in Edison and this blue collar kind of like very good urban kind of culture vibe up until eighth grade, and then we move to Hunterton County, New Jersey. I know 100 and, yeah. Right? It's out by Lehigh Valley, Pennsylvania, Allen Town. Still like the sticks, kind of a little bit. Parts of it are.
Starting point is 00:32:17 Still is, even now. Correct. When we moved there in 89, here is the quintessential Gary B moving in 89 story. I go into eighth grade. First of all, I walk in, big moment in my career. I looked like you, too, when I was kid. Gorgeous, gorgeous, good face, charisma out my dick, right? I walk into eighth grade immediately.
Starting point is 00:32:37 second day Stacy Johnson's in love hottest girl in the school I'm fucking like no shit it was you're the most American guy I know man bro 8th grade was everything like I walk it because these are stick kids that's a pivotal little pivotal
Starting point is 00:32:52 I'm walking in saying you guys no run DMC they're like what they're like you hunt I'm like what the fuck is hunt like you know seventh day that I'm in eighth grade walking in like Quincy Jones seventh grade day seventh literally the fucking Tuesday of the second week I walk in
Starting point is 00:33:10 and I'm like what the fuck is going on I get on the bus I'm like what the fuck's going on I walk in a home what the fuck's going on locker what the fuck is going on there's not a fucking dude
Starting point is 00:33:19 in the school first day I'm hunting season I literally walk in a home room Mr. G my math teacher goes what the fuck are you doing here I'm like and my brain I hate school at this point
Starting point is 00:33:32 I'm already a DNF student I'm like holy this is literally what happened I go we fuck, these country kids, dudes don't go to school every day. Yeah. I was so high.
Starting point is 00:33:44 I was so high. I'm like, do we get like every seventh day off or something? Because we're the men? They go, he goes, it's the first day of hunting season. The year season or something, probably, yeah. I'm so pissed we didn't move a year earlier. The year earlier, they banned rifles in my middle school. Literally, if I came a year earlier,
Starting point is 00:34:01 literally kids were coming to school with a fucking rifle putting seventh graders into their locker. That's nuts. So this is not where I'm growing up. So how is... Why? Why are we out there? My dad missed the old country land thing.
Starting point is 00:34:14 Okay. So we found 28 acres for like four bucks in the middle of nowhere, New Jersey. Where's he humping it to go to the liquor store? He's driving 45 fucking minutes every day to go to the liquor store. The same one. Now he has a small store of his own in Springfield, New Jersey. Okay. This is where I cook and start my career.
Starting point is 00:34:31 Gotcha. Springfield, New Jersey. So that's eighth grade. I go into high school. Here are the big things that happen in high school. Eighth grade, greatest year of my life. Stacey Johnson makes me a man. Ninth grade, worst year of my life.
Starting point is 00:34:42 Wait, you mean makes you a man, makes you a man? No, I didn't have sex, but, like, hooking up is huge. Like, kissing the hottest girl in the school is a monster fucking moment. I'm with you? Feeling a booby in eighth grade is pretty good, too. I don't know. I'm still waiting. Ninth grade, hard transition on the other side of the pillow.
Starting point is 00:35:00 Big thing happens. I continue to not grow. Okay. I walk into freshman. year of high school out there out there woods right country boys country dudes first kid i see looks like you look like right now full beard good looking good fucking dude by the he's name was sal combat boots jeans fucking rip like bosworth sure fucking six foot two two 40 all right i walk in 411 face of a six year old fucking 83 pounds wet tough dude gotcha girls
Starting point is 00:35:35 Stacey Johnson, gone. Ready? Immediately starts dating a senior. I'm at a rotation. Fuck. And no problem, by the way. I didn't give a fuck.
Starting point is 00:35:45 I mean, obviously the girl thing you kind of always want, but I didn't really give a fuck because I'm too business. I'm cooking with baseball cards. I'm making $300 a weekend selling cards. Really? You're moving.
Starting point is 00:35:54 I'm moving. Back then they didn't give a fuck. Nobody gave a fuck. I was making real money. Nobody gave off. In fact, detriment. That's weird. How much cash did you think you?
Starting point is 00:36:05 had when you were in like you know high school i had thousands of dollars and in my pocket at all time it's awesome but you have to start but you have to understand that was like having millions yeah oh dude what i'd be like having millions now when i had a wallet with one i had one thousand in cash in my pocket in high school every day of my high school life that's insane that is dirt bag shit and this is nineteen eighty nine and i'm telling you it was as a if I had a billion, but here's what's crazy. Nobody gave a fuck. No smoking weed, no nothing like that.
Starting point is 00:36:41 My mom was so Nancy Reaganed out. As I sit here today with you, I've never done a drug. Good for you. That would have been gone. What's crazy, though, is nobody gave a fuck. This entrepreneur business thing wasn't cool. It was, I got D's and Fs, and I was a dummy, and I was going to be a loser.
Starting point is 00:36:57 No bullshit. And I wasn't great at sports. I played tennis. I was a good hacker. But, like, I wasn't big. I wasn't good at basketball or football, lacrosse or baseball and on top of all that if that wasn't enough adversity even the thing I was great at today I'd be fucking hooking up with senior girls you're cash 8th grader with
Starting point is 00:37:16 fucking a thousand which today's probably be probably 15 grand correct today's comp is 30k 8th 9th grade me senior girlfriend with 30k back then nothing he's doing 30k today that's you know that's conservatively put and so you hear that's Casey, you blew it. Oh, by the way, the fucking DMs when that started becoming a thing for all the girls along the way. But here's what's crazy.
Starting point is 00:37:44 On top of all that adversity, Sasha enters the picture. I didn't talk to my dad yet. Okay. I'm saying this nice and slow for the kids in the back. I don't think I talked to my dad yet. He literally slept in the same house as me my whole childhood, but he woke up before I did
Starting point is 00:38:02 and came home after I went to sleep. sleep. He worked seven days a week. He had two days off a year, Christmas and New Year's, and he slept the entire day. I do not believe I had talked to my father yet at the age of 14. That's great, dude. Right? Yeah. He comes in, he goes, you're going to work. Drago. Ivan Drago walks up. Start chasing chickens. And by the way, if you saw my dad, he's got a crazy thing his natural eyebrows are mean like the triangle he walks in he goes you go to work now what year is this 89 i'm 14 do you not finishing school i'm working on the weekends and spring break and summer vacations that's it okay i'm driving 45 minutes with my dad still not talking i'm talking like this
Starting point is 00:38:48 i talk 24-7 this motherfucker doesn't talk kid we got talking about lucy who don't love a good package of lucy showing i mean at this point everybody knows about lucy we're going to tell you again of course is 100% pure nicotine, always tobacco-free. Them Lucy breakers are nicotine pouches with a little extra squirt in them. You know what I'm talking about? A little surprise. A little kicking a pants. A little pouch in the capsule.
Starting point is 00:39:09 It's got a little bit of flavor, a little bit of hydration. Who's like a little hydration? Hydration when you got a little finger going in there, you know what I'm right? Buddy, you got to stay hydrated out in these streets. That's wrong with it. And Lucy's taking, Lucy's checking your sick. Fantastic flavors. Don't get the stuff you get at the yard sale or at the gas station.
Starting point is 00:39:25 Get it delivered right to your door. Lucy, 100% fantastic. Do yourself a favor, Lucy, Lucy Breakers. Yeah, listen, they've been nice enough. They send us some. We've got to re-up, by the way. We're getting Lou. Listen, when they, that is one thing when the Lucy package shows up to Tuddy's house.
Starting point is 00:39:44 It's like the raccoons of the trash. It's ripping through it. No, it's fantastic. Everybody loves it. And here comes the fine print. First of all, level up your naked team routine with Lucy. Go to lucy.com slash garbage. Use the promo code garbage to get 20% off your first order.
Starting point is 00:39:58 Lucy has a 30-day refund policy if you change your mind. Again, that's lucy.com. Use the code garbage. You get 20% off. And here's the fine print baby. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and in every order is age verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine and nicotine is addictive chemical. Now back to the show.
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Starting point is 00:40:42 Conditions supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explore Volvo.com. So high school social life, gone. I love when I run into my high school friends or when they leave comments about me, like how hard I've always worked. Nobody saw me in high school, social thing until spring break of senior year
Starting point is 00:41:03 when I was like, fuck, there's only like eight weeks to go. Let me go have a little fun. It was that fucking psychotic. And I worked child labor. Fucking 8 a.m. to 9 p.m. making ice in the basement, bagging it, putting up shelves. Brother, when I walked in here and looked at your Tuddy's little thing, that's like my home.
Starting point is 00:41:24 I stocked the fuck out of that thing my whole life. I was in the fucking cooler in the back I would literally go into a cooler and work seven straight out no lunch six seven hours fucking freezing my dick off fucking you would come in and buy a six pack of Bud Light I had to be on the behind the scenes
Starting point is 00:41:41 Gary's hand comes through Like Gary You know I laughed the other day Somebody tried to troll me like bro Have you ever even worked fucking manual labor Thinking I'm some fucking you know country club game I'm like motherfucker you know what fuck you're talking to? I fucking Gary Vee the Iceman
Starting point is 00:41:56 It's a new name I had a fucking bad Bad back from the time I was... I literally, my back would, my back, brother, my back went out in senior year of high school, went out, I crawled in my house because I fucking completely fucked up in hindsight, what is your QL?
Starting point is 00:42:11 Like, I, so anyway, I worked every weekend and two bucks an hour just like my dad did, it fucking sucked because I was making real, in sixth grade I started making money selling baseball cards, I moved to the sticks. Now you gotta go make two bucks an hour? In sixth grade, I'm fucking hustling hustlers because Edison's got fucking pimps
Starting point is 00:42:28 fucking, like, hustlers. I moved to the sticks. These country boys had no shot. I took all their money. Yeah. All of it. Like, all of it. Whatever the collective.
Starting point is 00:42:38 Chris Sabeau, rookie card. Yeah, I could let that go for, I don't know, two grand. That's right. That's brother Sabo, Eric Davis, my Greenwell, Pete fucking ink, inkabelia, Corey Snyder. I was cooking these country boys. Sure. And now I'm working in a liquor store.
Starting point is 00:42:54 That was kind of what it was. Okay. Huh. Let's get into now a little bit because we want to, find out some of your opinions on garbage behavior and all that kind of stuff. Let's just get into the house real quick.
Starting point is 00:43:07 What do you sleep it on these days? King, king-sized bed? Oh, Matt. Whatever the big... Is King the big one? California, Alaska King, I think, is even a big. But you got a king-sized bed. Bigger. Bigger.
Starting point is 00:43:17 The biggest one you got. Are you out of your mind? And where are we resting our head, no. We're in New York? We're in New York City. Any other properties around? A little vacation home, this that the other thing? The ex-wife's got them all.
Starting point is 00:43:27 Gentlemen Fair enough But we had them We had them for a minute We earned them We earned them That's all that matters Yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:43:36 All right Okay What uh What brand luggage do you have No fucking clue You have no clue A travel pro That fucking like bullshit one
Starting point is 00:43:43 With the weirdest logo I don't know I don't have the fancy shit You're flying up front on the plane these days Of course Of course You bring any food on the plane with you Would you bring like
Starting point is 00:43:52 You know Snacks or whatever No I don't give a fuck By my wife Uh huh Mona is an outrageous clean eater. She brings like, she's, do you know that dude that brings coconuts? Yes.
Starting point is 00:44:05 Do you know about this dude that brings? That's very good. Carnivore MD. By the way, big shout to him. He has a fucking. My boy. Love him. He's got tight body on him.
Starting point is 00:44:13 By the way, he has a beef jerky. I eat the fuck out of that thing. It's good. I eat the fuck out of that thing. Anyway, no, I don't give a fuck. Okay. Do you have an airline that you prefer? All of that.
Starting point is 00:44:25 I fly so much. Much, all of them. Gotcha. Okay. Huh. Private's good, too. Yeah, so I hear. You peeing in the shower?
Starting point is 00:44:34 Yes. Brush your teeth in there? Yes, but not predominantly. Okay. Meaning, like, I'll brush my teeth in the sink 82.7% of the time. Gotcha. The rest is shower. So it lives in the medicine cabinet, not in the shower.
Starting point is 00:44:46 Yeah, but sometimes I get weird and just, like, I think it's fun. I think it's better to do it in the shower. You're not wrong. How many pillows are on the bed when we go to sleep? What are we sleeping like? I have two. Two behind you? Yes.
Starting point is 00:44:56 Any turn to the side? Cuddle pillow, one between the legs, nothing like that? Occasionally I'll do that. Call that one to three percent of the time. I'll take one of the two and put it there. Okay. Always on the side. But I'm deeply in love.
Starting point is 00:45:08 Like me and Mona are one unit when we sleep. Snuggle and go to sleep. Snuggle. Very nice. Full, like every minute. I'm pretty positive we are touching at every minute of our full sleep. Very sweet. TV in the room.
Starting point is 00:45:19 Yes. TV on when you go to bed? She likes it. She's starting to get off of it. She's also so crazy clean that I, I have to shut off all the power in the bedroom and the Wi-Fi before we go to sleep. That's what?
Starting point is 00:45:32 Yeah. I don't have a single scented item in our home. Whoa. My deodorant, when she transferred me to this new deodorant three years ago, I smelled like a fucking maniac for the first week, and then my body completely adjusted. There's not a scent, branch basics for all our shit. There's not a scent in my home.
Starting point is 00:45:49 Whoa. No cologne, no nothing. A scent. Nothing. Damn. What's the toothpaste? Non-scented. Damn.
Starting point is 00:45:55 Yikes. Forget about toothpaste. Shampoo and deodorant, not being scented or laundry fucking thing is crazy. That's wild. She's a clean machine. You know what Saladino uses in the wash? No clue. Vinegar.
Starting point is 00:46:06 That's right. Like, she's of that world. Damn. They're homies. That's hardcore. That's pretty cool. Oh, shit. Will you dance at a wedding?
Starting point is 00:46:15 Poorly. Poorly. I am typical white man dancer. Go I do the crab. Like I. What? The crab. I will fucking at a wedding.
Starting point is 00:46:24 I will fish. This guy is. This guy is from the U.S.S.R. I will fucking dominate. Talk about a kid from the 80s. Let's go. Fucking crap. As soon as that Rob Bass hits, you don't know what to do that.
Starting point is 00:46:36 Let's say you do go to one. No, it's more twisted sister. I'm with you. When we get into we're not going to take it anymore. You start losing it. All right, let's say you do go to a wedding, you know, cousin, whatever, young cousin or whatever. Just out of curiosity, what are we talking about in the envelope from Uncle Gary? What do you think?
Starting point is 00:46:53 Two to five K. Whoa. What? That's great. Is that good? That's a really good answer. That's the biggest we've ever got. That's a really good answer.
Starting point is 00:47:00 I promise my day. If you were going to say like a hundred bucks, I was going to have to. They got to learn. I was going to yell at you in public. I wasn't going to like that. Two to five. Some people, is that, is that, where does that? That's great.
Starting point is 00:47:10 I don't know shit about this shit. Guy like you. That's the most we've ever heard. That's what I'm so. Oh, Tim Dillon. Oh, Timmy D. Tim's lying. I know Tim's lying.
Starting point is 00:47:17 I know Timmy D. I know Timmy D. That was a specific. That was a specific way. Okay, no, a thousand, anything over at that guy like you? Because that's going, that's going through, everybody's going, Gary Vee was at your wedding, what do you give you? Everyone's asking that.
Starting point is 00:47:33 You know what, I know that, which is probably why I'm doing two to five. Anything over a thousand is great. I don't need to fuck up my reputation. Anything over a thousand is great. Is there a favorite frozen pizza that you have? I don't eat frozen pizza. Damn. Can't.
Starting point is 00:47:44 Can't even have fucking sense in a house. What's the car now? What's the day-to-day car now? Talk to us. We want to hear it. It's all celebrate. Everybody wants it. the lap full-time driver my fucking guy get the fuck out of here now i got a question about that do you
Starting point is 00:47:58 own the car or did you bought i didn't know that what's the car escalade what is it fucking tah what is it train the fuck is obvi driving tahoe driver named obvi is nice yeah also slash protect obvi police force like there's a i didn't think obvi's obvi's got some shit he's don't choke you the fuck out damn i didn't know you had it like that god damn let me break I didn't know, full-time driver? Let me tell you something. How much cash-y? I'll tell you this, though.
Starting point is 00:48:27 You got 30 grand on you right now? Full-time driver is actually stunningly, I would argue people of wealth, that should be first. For sure. Because time is everything, especially in New York City. Like, I got fucked up today.
Starting point is 00:48:40 I was a few minutes later. I apologize. I'm pissed about that shit. Thank God I wasn't like I was a couple years ago. I've been on driver for a long time now. I'd rather do driver than get a fucking painting or a fucking wine. It's all utilitarian.
Starting point is 00:48:55 It's time. Do you have any of that shit? Do you have like a nice expensive watch? Nothing? You got nice suits, anything like that? What brand t-shirt is that? You don't even know? Damn, he's rocking a Mac Weldon.
Starting point is 00:49:07 Is that good? Yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not like, I mean, it's, yeah. But Brooks Brothers or something like that, you're rocking a Mac Weldon, man. If you told me to tell you one thing about Mac, I don't know if this is. They were probably sponsored you at some point. Got it. Yeah. They're like a big, I think we've, we've, we've,
Starting point is 00:49:22 They've sponsored a pod. What do you have that? What are you doing after this? You're not just going home and kicking it or nothing like that, right? This guy isn't relaxing. It's 89. You know what the fucking talking about. Holy shit.
Starting point is 00:49:35 I work for sure. You guys know this. It's my hobby. I love to work. Can you whistle? Yes. Can you any double joint is or anything like that? You saw it a crab.
Starting point is 00:49:47 That's true. I did see a cram. I have this. All right. You know that? No, I can't do that. Show me trying. I can't, dude.
Starting point is 00:49:53 So don't be scared. That's literally me trying. Oh, you have it. But do you have this? God damn. Damn, I ain't got that. Now we know what Stacy saw it. If you had to, Pizza Hut or Domino's?
Starting point is 00:50:07 Pizza Hut. Gentlemen. Okay. What do you think about the devil's egg? Into it. Have you ever bought used tires for a car? Yes. Wow.
Starting point is 00:50:16 My first car that I bought was a 1976 Monte Carlo with a massive dent and it. for $680 at a garage sale. I know this is going to be no. And I had to change the tires all the time. I had flat tire every day. I know. I know this is going to be no, but you ever have a slip and slide? I did.
Starting point is 00:50:31 Really? But not the real one. Of course? You guys made it. Right, the garbage bags. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slipp and slide was our life in the 80s. It was major.
Starting point is 00:50:40 The sprinkler? A sprinkler in 1984 in Jersey. Sure. Is like cocaine. It was like Dorney Park. Yeah, it was like fucking Dorney Park. Well said. Did you ever run a superstar?
Starting point is 00:50:52 No. Never got your hands on one. No, and I was a little old for that, and then honestly, that was way too expensive. Sure. Will you now or do sneak snacks to a movie theater? No. No. I think it's, I think that's disrespectful.
Starting point is 00:51:08 Damn. God damn, gentlemen. Look at that. Huh. Keep going. I like this shit. Keep going. I'm willing to go past my time on this because I like this thing.
Starting point is 00:51:17 You got two minutes. I like this thing. Have you ever bought the floor model of an appliance or a TV? No. No. Do you own an electric carving knife? No. How do you feel about the rotisserie chicken?
Starting point is 00:51:29 I eat the shit out of those. Good for you. What's a vacation look like now? Beach doing nothing, nothing. I'm 24-7, 365. So ideal vacation is fucking doing nothing but laying by sand and water, listening to music, eating three times a day because I eat once a day. Like, that is a vacation for me.
Starting point is 00:51:51 Good for you. How many days when would we be doing that? Five days? Now, now, I can, no, I can do, I, you know what's wild? Even though I'm a psycho and would be like coming up with ideas in the sand, I can do it. I can't do it when the world is on. So I have 3,000 employees. I have seven different companies.
Starting point is 00:52:10 How do you sleep at night? The fuck, this is the funniest part about my brand. Everybody thinks I'm like Gary Vee, the motivation speaker. I'm the active CEO of the largest advertising agency that has been built in the last 30 years. I have 2,000 employees around the world, you know, on that. And then I have a sports agency and V friends and all this crazy shit. So I can't rest and vacation if it's a normal work week. But during Christmas, late August, when everyone checks the fuck out because America got soft.
Starting point is 00:52:41 You know, Christmas. Turn into Europeans, I shut down in August. I hate it. I mean, all right, you know, I'm pretty. No, no, no. You guys can't be done. You got notes and shit. Keep going.
Starting point is 00:52:51 Keep going. Have you ever used? use the squeege, you had a gas station to clean anything but the windshield of your car? Like, have you ever done the doors or the tires with it? No, no. Favorite flavor of Gatorade? The orange. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:02 Not bad. Butter on the counter, butter in the refrigerator at the house. Counter. European. European. Very nice. Yeah. mayonnaise. I need you might Helmins, Miracle Whip. Maybe not now, but as a younger man.
Starting point is 00:53:17 Mandaise was, I'm such a mustard guy. Russian. I would use mustard over. mayonnaise and ketchup in almost every environment, even as a kid. We were more Helmins in the family. There was a Russian salad that my mom really used.
Starting point is 00:53:33 Obviously, first private label, and then it was Helmins as we got into the middle class. That was where we were. She used the mayonnaise and a salad dressing. Yeah, it was like a mayonnaise and a Polish girl. Her mom did the same thing. That's right. She's pretty banging. The Polish girl or the manned? Both. Those Polish girls are nice.
Starting point is 00:53:49 Do you still do soda now or no? Not really. Not really. A little poppy. Okay. You know, little. LaCroix gives me a little. How's the steak cooked?
Starting point is 00:53:58 Medium rare. Medium rare. With, this is how I order it. Hey, can I have it medium rare, but can you give me an element of Pittsburgh black and blue on the outside char? I love that. I love that. He's a gentleman. Ribbyes do that the best.
Starting point is 00:54:12 I agree. In what world are you not picking up a check now? None. My dad. Really? He won't let me. Good for fucking him, dude. Only place in my life.
Starting point is 00:54:22 I think I've picked up every check by the way back to who I was as a kid I picked up every check since I was 13 yeah except for my dad except for my father really and I wouldn't and I wouldn't even consider it because he would deem it disrespectful if I went for the check understand very Tony soprano of him I respect that huh do you bring any leftovers home from the restaurant no never not me never no good for you this guy's fucking bulletproof I mean any uh fireworks at the house right now? You mean firearms? No, no, fireworks.
Starting point is 00:54:55 Like fireworks? No. Any firearms? No. What TV show are you watching? Any guilty pleasure? What? You think he's watching moonlighting? I'm predominantly sports and I'll watch documentaries.
Starting point is 00:55:06 Okay. For that kind of leisure. Very good. So. Huh. I mean, you open your eyes underwater when you're in the pool? Yes. This guy's a dirtbag.
Starting point is 00:55:13 That's all I got. What? You're really going to call him trash? Guys, I need, I'm not leaving until ever. You got a fucking bunch of shit and I'm not. We have 10,000 questions. Go! Are there any trophies on display at your house at the moment?
Starting point is 00:55:26 No, no. Okay. Are you crazy? What was the last? A, I didn't get any. Sure. B, who the fuck? What?
Starting point is 00:55:32 You want me to talk about yesterday? Will you eat in the car? That's good. What? Will you eat in the car? Of course. Okay. He's not driving.
Starting point is 00:55:39 He's got to get back in Pittsburgh's day back there. Will you stop and do any fast food ever? I've really gotten a lot healthier. Okay. That being said. Talk to me. Gary. As I sit here.
Starting point is 00:55:50 with you right now when you asked me that question yes do you know what my chemicals just did like my body what I thought what I felt? I'm like I have to go to White Castle White Castle is so fucking insane he might be trash like White Castle
Starting point is 00:56:06 eating six burgers quickly that make you shit your pants immediately I think is an American pastime it's an American fucking pastime How many cell phones do you have? One one when was the last time we were on a boat and where was it? When was the last
Starting point is 00:56:22 time I was in a boat? Mona and I were in the Amalfi Coast I've heard of it. I've seen pictures. Okay. Is that near Long Beach? A little closer to Wildwood. Ever been bitten by a dog or wildwood? Ever been bitten by a dog or wildlife? Yes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:56:40 Multiple times. What was it? Scared of dogs profusely because of it. Okay. A German shepherd. It's scared the fuck out of me. I've hated dogs my whole life. Will you ever wore colored contacts? Never. Are you out of your fucking mind?
Starting point is 00:56:56 What is... The better question is, would you punch someone who's wearing colored contacts in the dick? Would you hire anybody than a colored contact? I got cat eyes. You're hired. I would only... In my career of life,
Starting point is 00:57:11 I would only hook up with a girl wearing color contacts. Nothing else with colored contacts. Uh-huh. Let me see. You ever had a quail egg? Yeah, of course. I eat very bougie because then my career, for people that know it, I came and dominated the wine industry in my 20s.
Starting point is 00:57:29 I went from Dirt Kid to being in fucking chateaus, eating foie gras and sweetbreads and quail eggs with fucking eighth generation fucking trillionaires making wine because I was such a big buyer and seller in America. It was a fucking brain fuck. It was like fucking jazzy Jeff and the fresh prince going to like, You know, like, just, no, it was more of the going to fucking Beverly Hills, right? Like, fresh prince of Bel Air, like true Bel Air life.
Starting point is 00:57:56 It was such a hard turn. Flogra and patte, they really got my number. I'm obsessed with foiegraw. I would eat the fuck out of froggraw. We were in Paris for a week. We were in Paris for a week. I ate it every single day of like an animal. I would literally eat foie gras every meal in my life.
Starting point is 00:58:11 I like it that much. The pattee or the fucking panseered. A little toast point, glass of wine. How you know it? Will you do karaoke? No. I can't sing for shit Do you keep the boxes of things
Starting point is 00:58:22 Like if you get a new iPhone Do you keep the box Okay That's how he's gonna hit you By the way I'm more likely to get rid of the box Before I actually get home Really
Starting point is 00:58:31 Than keeping a box Now if you need a new You need a new cell phone My admin Somebody does that I have three full-time admins Oh yeah Get a team
Starting point is 00:58:39 Get you a job You're not going to get anything You're not like running The Apple store Who's doing the food shopping now Somebody Mona Mona But we live in New York City It's all fucking fresh direct this
Starting point is 00:58:48 You guys have a chef for anything like that at the house? For special occasions. Yeah? Otherwise, she handles it? Uh-huh. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. I also eat out every night of my life.
Starting point is 00:58:58 Yeah. I work. I get home at 10 or 11 p.m. every day. So when you say eat out, you mean like you get something ordered in or you guys go, you have a dinner or something? I have a dinner. You have a dinner. What was the last time you shut down a restaurant? Well, I own a bunch of restaurants in New York.
Starting point is 00:59:11 I didn't know that. What do you got? White Castle? I don't know about flyfish club? No. No. We're not cool. Guys, I'm taking you to fly-fish club.
Starting point is 00:59:19 I didn't know that. It's a private club. You can't get in, but I'll get you. No, Fly-Fit. He's our resident young, rich kid. I think I've seen it on Instagram. Damn. Not cool enough.
Starting point is 00:59:27 You're not even cooling up. We've got to start rolling with a better crew. What don't you have your fingers in? Not much. God damn. I'm very, very. Is there? I'm sorry to cut you go.
Starting point is 00:59:37 No, no, no. You go. No. Please. Is there anywhere you can't go? Of course. Foxborough, Massachusetts. Respect that.
Starting point is 00:59:44 Guy holds a grudge. Oh, of course. I fucking hate those. I hate those motherfuckers. I hate the Patriots. Watching Bill Belichick completely fall apart as a human being. I got a best Phillie fans. It's one of the great moments of my life.
Starting point is 00:59:57 Because of the girl? He's a fucking mess. Dude, he could have just went out on top. And by the way, he couldn't have went out on top. He's been completely exposed. Tom Brady's his whole life. Bill Belichick has 10 football seasons where Tom Brady wasn't his coach, and he has one playoff victory.
Starting point is 01:00:14 That's true. One playoff victory. Damn. Tom Brady to remind you Went to another team Won the Super Bowl Won the Super Bowl is a 40 fucking plus year old You really don't like Belichick
Starting point is 01:00:25 I hate I hate Bill Belichick And you know why? Because he hated me first The way he treats Jet fans Fuck him That's very true And by the way you know why I love Eagle fans
Starting point is 01:00:37 Why? Because fuck the Giants Yeah I'm right there with you Right there with you Go birds You like Coleslaw Yes
Starting point is 01:00:45 Okay All versions. Shitty, like $3 fucked up deli in the fucking ghetto version all the way to boogey fucking $80 version in the fucking country club. I like all Kohl-Slaw.
Starting point is 01:00:56 I respect that. Do you know how to tie a tie? Yes, poorly. Bow-tie? No, no, solidly. Bow-tie clipping in the fucking back? Yes. I like that.
Starting point is 01:01:06 Have you ever written your name in wet cement? Yes. Have you ever gone ghost hunting? No. Do you know any of the lyrics from the battles from 8 Mile? Yes.
Starting point is 01:01:16 The fucking, in fact, it's one of my most significant pieces of content. Really? I believe the greatest transition moment in verbal history is, but I know something about you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about this? I can't believe this is happening. I'm going to break something down for you.
Starting point is 01:01:35 Do you know I live my life with that lyric in my head? That when someone in real life tries to big time me or, fuck with me that in my life like a fucking movie literally that lyric with that beat behind this guy's nuts pops up and it's really like that nuts damn i live with humility i don't think i'm anybody i'm very proud of what i've accomplished i honestly you're somebody baby i'll tell you that right now you're my new best friend i like being a good guy uh-huh i really identify that, I don't think any of the things I've pulled off professionally or publicly
Starting point is 01:02:18 mean anything. Damn. And I mean this because I think when Prince died, Richard Pryor, back to why I fuck with comedians. Richard Pryor is top five hero of mine as a kid. When I got my car, I didn't listen to music like the cool kids. It was tape Richard Pryor stand-up. Jerky boys. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:36 Right? I already referenced Eddie. When I watched those guys die and they get 24 hours of love and then everyone moves on with their life, I'm like, that shit isn't real. Yeah. This shit that we're, you know, these followers, these dollars, it's not fucking real. Anyway, I live with humility. What that means, though, is I don't put any other human on a pedestal.
Starting point is 01:02:59 Even playing field. No one. Everyone else sucks, too. You just told me I was good looking at high school. By the way, you were very good looking in high school. Does everyone know that? I thought we were living in the past anymore Eyes forward, Gary
Starting point is 01:03:17 I'm gonna look at it I'm really zoned in on it because you had that 90, you look a little bit like Rick Chance who was very good looking in my high school and he fucked and that was rare
Starting point is 01:03:26 in the fucking early 90s like it's not like it is now now everyone does it in high school but like it was rare Any turquoise jewelry Uh huh I mean
Starting point is 01:03:39 Yeah we gotta call it Yeah Why? I mean we can still keep going for sure two more three more six more this is interesting okay have you ever have you ever washed a pair of shoes in the washing machine yes damn i just tried it didn't work uh have have you ever owned a standalone hot tub no no is there any purchase you wish you had back like when you started making money obviously i don't give a shit about stuff yeah but i'm saying was you have
Starting point is 01:04:01 like you bought like a wave runner or something you're like why the fuck did i do that i never bought anything ever have breakfast in bed yes yes gentlemen vacation during vacation or in regular life? Yeah. Both. No kidding. Yep. What do you...
Starting point is 01:04:16 Taking the morning off, huh? At night. Sunday. Sunday, of course. On Easter Sunday. Being Jewish, having no obligations. It was perfect. What are you reading right now?
Starting point is 01:04:26 You're reading anything? I don't read books. I read the world. What I do for a living, what Gary Bee is, what I've been, even the post I put this morning about talking about the ear pods 15 years ago. You know, I watch society. I'm paying attention. I read 40,000 tweets and Reddit's.
Starting point is 01:04:42 and substacks comments about why people fuck with Lubbubu why baggy closes in again like when we were in the 90s not tight jeans why new balances are doing well better than Air Force 1s four years ago why people are watching Love Island why
Starting point is 01:05:00 comedians are crushing oh distribution's changing Hulu Netflix it's back to HBO on steroids like I watch culture gotcha yeah any magazines in the bathroom I mean, historically, it was life. Now the fucking phone is, the phone is the magazine.
Starting point is 01:05:17 Right, yeah. Huh. Swam in a river? Yep. Will you buzz the attendant on an airplane if you need something? Yeah. Okay. I've done that.
Starting point is 01:05:26 How much do you stay in a hotel? What do you leave for the cleaning staff? Tip-wise. 100. Hondo. Hondo. Good for you. You know why?
Starting point is 01:05:37 They're me. Yeah. Yeah, we do the same thing. Now we have cash. I started tipping heavy, making up for a lost time that I didn't have it. That's right. Yeah. You don't sleep with your mouth open, do you?
Starting point is 01:05:48 I don't think so because my breath is terrible in the morning, and I would assume if it was open, it'd be better. Yeah. Right? 100%. Have you ever tried to start the wave at a sporting event? No, but I'm always in. I'm fucking, I am pissed.
Starting point is 01:06:04 In fact, it is a top 17 pet peeve of mine. That is, if there's a proper wave going on, and you do not participate, you're a fuckface. I understand that for sure. I got to give you that. All right. When you're getting dressed and you're walking out of the house, is it socks, socks, shoe, shoes, or socks, shoe, socks, shoe?
Starting point is 01:06:24 Underwear, pants, shirt. Smart. Underwear pants, socks, shoes. Okay. All right. I like it. I like it. Have you ever had a manicure or pedicure?
Starting point is 01:06:35 Once or twice. Yeah. When was the last time we got a massage? Actually, actually recently, but it's not often for me. On vacations, once or twice a year, max. My last question is if Kevin and I came over to the house right now. Yes. Can we?
Starting point is 01:06:52 All right. You offered us a glass of water. Yes. What would it be? Exactly. Would it be a bottle? Would it be a Britta? Would it be what?
Starting point is 01:06:59 From this tap. When I look at the plastic bottle that you're consuming from right now, I fear for your life. Damn. Okay. You got bigger problems than that. Bottle only. The end. Glass bottle.
Starting point is 01:07:12 Only. You'd hand us a glass bottle of water? Yes. Like Mountain Valley or whatever? Yeah, Mountain View. Like, you know, we're always like, you know, again, back to the wine store, we carry a ton of crazy, different good waters. Always trying new things, supporting entrepreneurs. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 01:07:26 So it would be bottled water. Damn. Sparkling and still, always in stock. Of course. Guys good. What do you guys have? What are you sparkling or still guy? At the restaurant?
Starting point is 01:07:35 Sparkling. I'm a still, still guy. And what about? at home more still i have both got a britta yeah my wife new york city tap love it britt is awesome wife's european so we do good german water she does when you're at the restaurant it's sparkling or still sparkling yeah only i need you know what it's all class you know what i think sparkling is i think it's um stimulation i need the stimulation get it going baby this guy's on the move little bubbles he needs water water's got to be working yes this guy don't take a day all still is chill yeah
Starting point is 01:08:06 boys thank you Gary Vaynerchuk, 100% class. He's got a move. He's got business to take care of. Give it up for Gary Vee, everybody. Thank you, brother. We love you, brother. That was great.
Starting point is 01:08:16 Thank you so much.

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