Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Ghost Stories w/ Dan Soder

Episode Date: April 25, 2024

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and actor Dan Soder! You know Soder from stand up comedy, his podcast Soder, Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast, The Bonfire, This is Not Happening, The Joe Rogan Experience, Legion of Skanks and his Comedy Special "Son of Gary"! Thanks for watching Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ True Classic: https://www.trueclassic.com/garbage Code: Garbage Lucy: https://lucy.co Promo Code: Garbage Adam & Eve: https://www.adamandeve.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Boston, Massachusetts! The garbage is coming! The garbage is coming! We're gonna be there this weekend, Saturday night, April 27th, at the Wilbur Theatre. Grab some tickets for the Late Show. Oh baby, it's stand-up comedy, plus we play AYG with the crowd. It's a good time. You've seen the clips. All tickets available at areugarbage.com. Yeah.

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U Garbage. Oh yeah. It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that

it's a good to be classy. Yeah, just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, A trolley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. She's upstairs making a fresh batch of checks mix. Okay. Hit you in about 20 minutes. Can't wait.

Be careful with it. It's a little strong. Fair enough. My co-host is coming. I just wrote that one, by the way. God damn it. I was put on the spot. I had a business call before this. BLT. Sure. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.

He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What up, gang? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, you subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube as you know Those numbers are true to Roof cooking

Then obviously the greatest website of all time www.patreon.com Slash re garbage you go over there you get up to three bajillion hours of worth of content now Oh having a nice shout out to our producer extraordinary the magic band makes us all look good works Ones twos threes fours crosses these dots eyes. It's t-bone mcscruffin's toby mullin everybody What up boys? Hey bud? I'm stoked We got one of my favorite dudes one of the best in here hilarious guy last time we hung out was in Vegas We were playing let it ride. I didn't know how to play and I was jamming the whole table up

This guy stinks I got a goddamn mortgage Toby Gang the long hair ain't lying cuz we could be more excited to have our incredibly and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today. He's a good pal to show. You know him, you love him. He's one of the best. He's got a brand new podcast entitled Soder that you got to check out and he's got a brand new special over there on his YouTube page on the road.

Give it up for the truly one, the only Mr. Dan Soder. Hey! Is this four time club? Four time club. I think it's more, no? No, I think it's four horsemen apocalypse. Yes, four time. Let's ride.

Woo! This is your second one in the edition and you had two in the... I had one. You had one on Zoom. One on Zoom and one in the basement. Yeah, that's it. Okay.

Four timers club. Mr. Steve Martin. There's very. Okay, go for timers club Very few that are up there. Yeah, there'll be no robe given no It would be cool. Just saying Kind of wouldn't mind it should be a shitty robe It should be a hospital gown. Yeah, like a holiday in one Scratchy and it's got herpes on it. Do you do the robe when you get someone, even in a nice place? No. No, I don't touch it. That's only for people that do a lot of sex stuff.

Yeah, with tainties. That's not people that are relaxing. That's like stuff you can't wash out is in those. Are you a robe man at all? And even at home? No. Slippers? Slippers, yes.

Okay, I'm sorry. Absolutely. Slippers where? Slippers on the foot of the bed, like leave it to beaver? I wish. I usually do slippers like if I'm going barefoot in the winter and I want to you know get my feet toasty Mm-hmm, and then pull them out, but then I also have the hard bottoms because you never know when you have to run Okay, so I don't have like fancy slippers. I have are you doing outside?

Sometimes sometimes rubber hits the road sometimes. I need to go to 7-eleven to get a Gatorade steel toe slippers Red wing slippers, but they the ones that have the the fuzzy on the inside. Oh, yeah, they're nice. That looks like Yeah, you're sticking your feet into pillows. Yeah And what you know, don't get kicking. Yeah real garbage move you wear them down to where they're just matted. Oh, yeah Dead dog move you wear them down to where they're just matted. Oh, yeah. There's none. It's like snowing like dead dog. Uh-huh. It's like office carpeting in there.

You look like it starts your slippers get alopecia and they start getting bald in chunks. And you're like, look at this. Hits between your toes and stuff when you pull it out. Slippers got ringworm. Yeah, dude. It's like wrestling mats in high school. I can't remember.

What are you sleeping? You're no robe guy. I'm just undies. Just undies, boxers. Yeah, just boxer briefs, okay briefs Basketball shorts boxer briefs just a case someone breaks in I just I never the road road I can't trust. Do you have any, I'm right there with you.

Do you have any hotel hacks or kind of traditions that you do or things that you figured out? Do you use the safe at all? No, don't use the safe. Do have in my backpack a bag clip for chips for the curtains. Whoa. really? Because someone told me that.

They don't get there. Because sometimes they don't. Sometimes you'll do it and they keep moving. And you'll try to fold them over. Doesn't. Yeah. And you're like, what the fuck? But bag chip, you just line them up and. And what do you think?

Someone's peeking or someone sees you're in there? I just want the room dark so I can sleep late. So you're because hotel, I do every lock imaginable. And when I'm in there, I'm in lock imaginable sure and when I'm in there I'm in my little you know, I'm in my chamber some masturbatory Boxer briefs and the basketball shorts for sleep time. Yeah, that's my armor My magic clothes. Yeah, it's the lights out for purposes or for, that's the way you need to sleep?

That's the way I like to sleep. You need to sleep in complete darkness. Well, here's the thing about the road. Sometimes the sun will come through and hit you because you don't know. Your apartment, you know where the sun hits in the bedroom. Sometimes on the road, I've had slivers of light hit me. Fucks you up.

They catch you up. And the road is for sleeping in. Because he has a theory. When I'm in a hotel room, I'm too up. They catch you up. And and the road is for sleeping in. Because he has a theory, when I'm in a hotel room, I'm too unrelaxed and too scared to sleep. So I leave the TV on and some lights on around. So there's light. Is this for ghosts? A little bit. Ghost and or burglars. Somebody breaking in. Bad guys? Bad guys. Yeah. Bad actors. Russian terrorists trying to take over the school. Got the ops going crazy dude. The boss has the ops going

crazy. So I would understand, here's where I'll say, I'll over the school. Got the ops going crazy, dude. The boss has the ops going crazy. So I would understand, here's where I'll say, I'll meet you halfway. TV for the ghost. Okay. TV's for the ghost. I'm not trying to have the TV off and see a child in a sailor's outfit standing by the door. Oh my god.

Nothing wrecks a jack weekend more than a ghost. I was at the port in Baltimore and they put you at a historical site. It's a hotel across the way. I don't like any of that. And it's, I walked in and I saw a historical site and I went 100% haunted. And then I went.

I'd rather sleep in an Indian burial ground. Yeah, dude. That's what it feels like. And then I went, I got one jerk the whole weekend because I just felt bad. Like what is in the pool? Yeah. What if this ghost is just sitting there like, come on, man. Yeah.

I slipped off a ladder and broke my neck and now he's got to watch me be like, oh, fuck. Yeah, but he keeps it dark in there because he thinks that that's even ground. If somebody breaks in, it's all dark and he has a better chance of fighting. You dare to. I want to see them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah you're like you're trapped in here with me. Also I've had longer to adjust to the dark than they do. Yeah your eyes are adjusted. I'm in night vision. It would be great if you did have night vision. We're like, now you're all green and the guy's like, fuck! Trying to find the dresser to get your wallet? Well, because there's like videos. I've got the thermo can.

Welcome to hell. Yeah, I've been waiting for you. I've seen online videos of people trying to break in with a thing. With the hanger. I've seen those too. And those little things that people bring with them. That's propaganda. This lock, that lock.

It's like a thing that slides in there. What are they going to break in and kill you? Yes. No. Well, I think what they're doing is what are you- So they're gonna go up to the fifth floor of a building, go to the middle of the, and then just murder you and walk away?

I don't know. I've never seen good security at a Hyatt. I welcome insurance. I know. You just sit there, you sleep upside down like a bat. You're like, I've been waiting. And the guy's like, wrong room, wrong room! I'm hanging from the shower curtain. I'm sorry, I've been waiting. And the guy's like, wrong room, wrong room.

I'm hanging from the shower curtain. I'm sorry, I thought you were an insurance salesman. I hope this is the worth of the price of your soul. Yeah. Then you're just at the club with bags under your eyes. And you're like, what's wrong? And you're like, I waited all night for prey. Yeah. I like to chip clip the curtains. That's crazy. Did you buy it just for that or did you take it from the house? Yeah. You wait for your Nana to die. I get that. I love them.

Can somebody finally eat this big bag of pretzels? Yeah. Or I'm going to have permanent darkness. My bat cave. OK. All right. That's a good. That's a good one.

Were you a chip clip family when they hit the scene back in the day? Trish was all about making things last as long as possible. Sure. Okay. So chip clips were... Were they the actual clips or just clothespins? No. They weren't clothespins, but they weren't the like... Name brand chip clip? No. The yellow with the red text? It was the ones at the dollar store, not the high end. They didn't have enough bite.

Oh, man. Oh, they would always loosen and slip. They would slip out. The good ones had that little rubber strip on the inside or the teeth. Yeah. When you went to your rich friend's house, you're like, all right, you got it was like comb plastic. It wasn't the thin place. It was like, yeah, we get the ones that you would like that would be at the checkout aisle at King Super's where she would just be like, oh, chip clips. My girl uses them, which actually works out pretty well.

Those black things for papers, binder clothes. Oh, yeah. Those black things for paper and binder. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Those are great. Those are big. Yeah, I was also I had somebody use scotch tape. What? Yeah, that's wild because that's going to come unstuck. And then you're just it was impossible to grease from a bag of bag of Doritos. The Doritos dust gets on that tape. It's not binding anymore. Now, let me ask you this. I'm here. Did you guys ever do the 30 small bags of chips? Oh yeah variety pack. Well documented. We used to crush those on Sunday,

hit the Fritos, hit the Doritos. But then what was always left? The rest of the week fucking chips and pretzels. Brutal. All that was left was Lay's original. Oh man. And then by the end you're like I'm begging my mom to get a new box Yeah to get Cheetos and Doritos and she's like you got chips and you're like fuck. That's a rough Thursday and Friday Let me tell you the bag in the mine. They're never enough of the of the potato to the lays They were never they never you'd open it like for I have six or always crushed Yeah, and you're like god damn, but great popping. You could grab it with and then. Yeah, they were on. Anything with the juice boxes, we used to do that to blow air into them.

And then those were unbelievable. You guys Capri Suns. I was a little too. That was a little too. That was still very expensive when I was a kid. I never got I never got Capri Suns. The big buy for us was Pepsi's. I would have Pepsi's at home. Cans or bottles? Cans. So I love to this day a Pepsi out of a can. I want Coke out of

a bottle. But cans of Pepsi. Because you can buy like a whole, my mom's boyfriend. You just buy the cube. They came in 30, the Pepsi's came in 30 packs. Yeah, like Keystone. Yeah. Like Keystone Lights. Get a couple of racks. Yeah. Mom, want to grab a rack of Pepsi? RC Party Ball? Yeah. RC was all right. Big K. Did you guys ever have Big K?

No. Big K was like the dot was like the cheap soda. They had it at my daycare. Ours was ours. The cheaper was the RC. So it was a daycare. What the fuck? It was a daycare.

The daycare was an athletic club. Sponsored by Monster Jam. It was a gym daycare was an athletic club Monster jam it was a gym that had a room that people would just send their kids to after school But the big K machine you could stick your arm in the back in fucking and you take it out back Older kid taught us that and an older kid would get the young kids with the little arm get in there sure do lemon Lime Big K to this day. I would say it's better than Sprite. That's pretty good. But that's nostalgia. Speaking of variety packs, we never had this, but I was always envious of them.

The little boxes of cereal that were a variety pack. So Loops, the Apple Jacks. They sucked. They didn't. They were like a version of the real thing. It was a key bump of the product. You're right. Full keys. But there was something enticing about it. I know. It looked cool.

We have those at our apartment right now. Really? We have a Fruit Loop and a Cocoa Crispies that have been there for like three months. Where do they come from? Katie bought them. Just like bought the stack and they're just there. She's like, I got a variety pack. I'm like, why?

We can buy big boxes of cereal now. She was like, I don't know. Because they're cool. They're fun to have. They are. They're a little novelty. You see what you walk into a diner as a kid, and you see one of those, a couple of those on top of like the toaster where the bread was. Yeah.

You knew you were getting eggs and pancakes. Something about those Froot Loops are real good. When I would go to work with my dad, when he worked at Dan's Liquors in Mill Valley in California, he would go across the street to get coffee before he'd open the liquor store. And they had that above. And I'd be like, some days I'd be like, can I get some Froot Loops? And he'd be like, store and they had that above and I'd be like some days

I'm like I get some fruit loops and they'd be like, all right, you can get some fruit loops Yeah, but then you'd be like, oh you just eat it in the box. Do you remember that? Somebody said there they came with the wax thing. You would put milk in there I feel like that started at a certain point I think when you guys were kids when I was a kid, it was known that you poured into a bowl Yeah ours was you could you could Flatten the middle of the you can flatten the middle of the cardboard thing

and then open the wax paper and kind of line it and have it as a bowl of cereal, which real MacGyver shit. Didn't Coors Light do that too? Didn't they have a case where you could- Hey, what'd they get in the cereal gate? Yeah, that would be great. The mountains are blue, the cereal's good. Damn, those guys are innovators.

Pete Coors, what won't you think of? New Banquitos. Yeah. The little mugs of beer as marshmallows. That's actually- That's actually- They turn blue when the milk's cold enough. Run that back, Coors. It's not bad. No, they used to have a case of beer that you could buy

that if you opened it a certain way, it would turn into basically- Like a cooler? Like a cooler. You could dump ice right in there. I like that. I remember back in the day, I'm sure they still do it in some markets. Coors Light did, that was like,

that was the big beer in high school and college. And they did these cooler packs. There were six six packs, over 36 packs. They came in a cooler, fully zipped up. Love that. It was like the soft cooler you could take to the beach and pull fucking whatever in there, man. High school and college for us,

Coors Light was too expensive. So you would get Keystone Light. Keystone Light was dented Coors light. Bottom of the bat. That's what it was spun as a it's the blast 10 percent of the barrel. Or also it fell off the thing, because you could always find a huge dent on a Keystone light thing. But Buddy still worked.

There was nothing. Still got you there. But nothing tasted worse. And only one thing tastes like this is a warm keystone light They go down They go down like I would I'll match it Natty ice any ice is tough because it's Oh, I was like drinking. So that is like almost like a milkshake the ice craze was so real

But ice it was doing the Mustang 5.0s. Yeah. Dude, those things were fantastic. Do you remember, you guys were a little older, I guess, but I was in high school when the Molson Triple X dropped. Man, we got a case of that. We all fist fought each other in my buddy's kitchen. It was just like, after six, you're like, get over here.

Yeah, you don't realize you're drinking malt liquor. I know. You're like, why do I feel sassy? We were like 16, just like fucking drinking like old prospectors My buddy my buddy Chad was out of town one time and his dad he was like, hey my dad or I think his parents Are out of town. He was with us and he's like there's a 12 pack of Miller Lite in my garage You guys should take it and it was skunked and we opened it and started drinking it. We're like and we opened it and started drinking it. We were like, it was horrible.

I remember that being like, oh fuck, this is, I don't like beer. Cause it was young, it was like sophomore year. Sure. You guys are too old to miss, you guys both missed the original Four Loco phase, right? Oh, I remember the original Four Loco. That hit me in college.

I never did it, but I remember people doing it and being like, I'm good. Many, many security deposits lost during those two years. Oh my god, pure destruction. Oh my god. I like that they're around now, and you're like, now we know what you are. We know you're not as bad.

That's pussy shit. But they changed it. They changed it. They took the caffeine out or something. There was something about it that was like, oh, you're just drinking gasoline. Dude, it took us, honestly, it took us two months to put it together, what it was. like did you hear fucking so-and-so got a DUI?

I think that's crazy and if you hear so-and-so fucking hit so-and-so you're like that's nuts So-and-so put his head through a wall. You're like, Jesus Christ and you're like It was the only common denominator there's a cork board somewhere, or like, it's Four Loco. What's interesting about that is like, we talk about the original Four Loco the way that like older generations talk about Quaaludes. Sure. Where like, you can't get them.

Or like Coke in the 80s. Yeah, but they're like, it was good. Dude, my mom one time talked about, cause my mom and dad met in San Francisco, you know, in the 70s or whatever. And randomly one time my mom goes, yeah, your dad and I got Coke so good one time, he wanted to go out dancing.

She goes, your father never danced. I must have been some good coke. Yeah, you just think of him being yacked out of his mind, being like, let's go to a dance club. And my mom's like, what? He's got work boots on. Yeah, he's just like, I feel like fucking getting a little,

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That's a lot of tees. That's a lot of tees. Is it me or is that a lot of tees? They're ridiculously comfortable. Comes in a ton of great colors. They're fantastic. And the old ones that when they wear in and get really soft, I turn them into a lot of tees? They're ridiculously comfortable, comes in a ton of great colors, they're fantastic. And the old ones that when they wear in and get really soft, I turn them into my night-night tees. That's what I wear to sleep.

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You get 20% off your first order. Lucy offers free shipping and it has a 30. You get 20% off your first order. Lucy offers free shipping and it has a 30 day refund policy if you change your mind. That's lucy dot co code garbage. You get 20% off and always free shipping. Do it. Do it. I do wish I was around for the for the for the quail lute phase. It's quite an all right time. The two the two places I would pick to go back in time were quaalude phase, pre-AIDS phase. Sure. Yeah. Pretty good. Pre-AIDS. That's all the same. That's the seventies, baby. Dude, that's gotta be nuts. Woo! Oh, dude, just having rando sex and then taking a Quaalude.

Yeah, Leonard Skinner concerts. Talking about how you never use prophylactics. I ain't in the army, man. Yeah, I'm not a sailor. Get over here. Let's go see the stones. They're pride. 72 stones? No aids? Full of quail eggs? Vietnam War winded down. American motor companies in the toilet. You got some PTSD, but they call those nap nightmares.

You had no idea. You're supposed to come back from war and act normal. No wonder boomers aren't letting up the power. They never had therapy I remember before obviously we were kids before Anybody was talking about that stuff my buddy's dad was in Vietnam and he was like a Ranger like he was in the shit Yeah, like 68 and we were down the shore one time and I was staying with him You know the volunteer fire alarm when that goes off there

He was taking a nap on the couch. We were laying there watching TV that thing We're not a kid in a headlock dude He jumps off the thing fucking over both of us and like squeezes our heads Yeah, dude, there was a My high school whose dad was a nom vet I wasn't friends with him, but a friend of mine told me this story He would fuck with his dad and he would take books and fucking slam them on the floor That kid with the jail yeah, he turned out to be a piece of shit, but that was like I remember being like

Why would you do that to your dad? Horrible did I have my dress up like an NBA and just run across? Yeah, just a rice hat. Just a rice hat in your backyard. Fucking, it's the lightest drip of M80s. What the fuck? Black pajamas, real quick streaking across the table. Dude, that kid was dangerous.

And I won't give his last name, but this kid's name was Andy, and he was like a problem. He was like a legitimate problem. He got this kid that I knew whose dad was a cop to give him, steal his dad's service revolver. And then he took it and like threatened someone with it. And you're like, dude, that's a cop's gun. But one time, this was my like junior homecoming

or senior homecoming. I thought that kid was gone. He was like a year older than me. He was gone. And my mom was out of town, so we had a party at my house. So my friends who weren't going to homecoming, I was like, you guys can get like fucked year older than me. He was gone and my mom was out of town So we had a party at my house So my friends who weren't going to homecoming I was like you guys can get like fucked up at my house Sure, and then I'll be back because like the girl I took wasn't into me So I was dropping her off and I was mad sidebar

I got pussy just not that night. I did You guys hang tight. I'm gonna go strike out. I knew I was like cool guys and big dicks I don't know what a problem. Apparently she was striking out. She's been like, cool guys and big dicks, I don't know what her problem was. Apparently she doesn't like a guy who's into macho man. Yeah. She's like, he won't stop doing the voices, even during slow dance.

He watches wrestling, he says it's the attitude era, and you're like, it's the best thing going right now. Dan, do you love me? Oh yeah. Yeah. Will you be my Elizabeth? And she goes, I don't know what that means. You showed up, Jesser Prom, Jess is the ultimate warrior.

Yeah, arm tassels, a tuxedo with arm tassels. There was nobody sexier than that guy for a minute. Oh my God, that body. Definition of roids. But I had a crush on this girl. She went to a different school and she just like strung me along. And then I asked her to my homecoming and she's like, yeah, I'll go to homecoming.

And then like two weeks before she goes, so I'm dating a guy at my high school now. And I was like, huh? And I just was like, so are we still going to homecoming? And she's like, shitty. Yeah, I guess. And you're just like, yeah, it was just like going through the motion. What are you thinking to try and maybe you could still get her to still get her away from this guy? I was holding out hope.

Man. And then at the end. Well, the idea is she's still going to go maybe you could still get her and still get her away from this guy? I was holding out hope. Man. And then at the end. Well the idea is she's still gonna go maybe at something, you know, maybe she's like torn. Not at all. Nah, yeah. Dropped her off at home. He picks her up.

Dude, I was so mad, dude, I swear to God. What's up, have her home by 10, yes sir! I was so mad. I dropped her off at home and I was like, so that's it? She's like, yeah, and I was like, dang. And I'm like driving home, smoking a cigarette. Thanks for leading me along, you stupid bitch. You lose it.

I kept working for a couple of years. I didn't even give up then. You still live on Cocktease Lane, by the way? Oh, all right. I'll take a right. Oh, look at this cul de sac. I want to kill you. So I dropped her off and I'm like mad driving home, just being like, feeling like an idiot. Sure. And I try to walk in my front door, but it's locked.

And I'm like mad. So I start going like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, open the fucking door, do, do, do, and that kid opened my door. Attitude changed immediately. Yeah. I was like, hey, hi.

What's up guys? What are you doing? What are you doing here? I got pizzas coming. Yeah, and he didn't know I lived there. And he was like, oh, all right, yeah. And I was like, hey, thanks, man. And there's nothing worse than going from angry to scared.

Oh, yeah. I did that not that long ago with an Uber driver. I was acting real tough because he didn't like come all the way up the street. Sure. And I was like doing like this shit. Yeah. I'm like, what the fuck? And then I then finally I walked over and I went to open the door and it was locked. And he rolled down the window and he's like, what's up man? Is there a problem?

And I'm like, no, no, no, I'm under, I was, I was, I was thinking of something else. How did that happen? Pitched out real quick. It was practicing, practicing a scene. No, no, no, no, no, you're cool. You're cool. You're so strong. Yeah, now something just happened upstairs.

I'm sorry. And then I got in the car and I kept going into it to make sure he knew. Therapy and he's just looking at his rear view like That's you always know someone's lying with the over explanation. No car in front of you. Yeah Call and I'm a Sagittarius You start going to like girl shit Anyways, my astrology is all off. Yeah, how's your day? How you doing? You seem like you're going through it. Angry to angry to embarrassed is the worst drop. This might be a deep, a deep cut, but I feel you're the person to ask this.

Do you feel because when you said the kid's name, Andy, the way you said it sounded like he was the problem kid. Do you think there's any correlation between the name of the kid and the kid being the bad kid? Because I always feel like they had specific names, the ones that were terrible. I have a theory on this. You know what I mean?

What's your theory on? So it's relatively kind of proven, the only reason I know this is because of my name. It's proven with Kevin in Germany. Kevin in Germany, they're like viewed as idiots. Really? Yeah, because it became a... My brother-in-law's a Kevin and he's smart as shit Yeah, you hear that Germans. No that Krauts

For some reason a name becomes popular with like a socioeconomic group a lot of a lot of dumb Trashy low-income families in Germany made Kevin just got popular. So now there's a bunch of idiot kids from idiots named Kevin. When I was in high school, one of the older kids that we were friends with started calling redheads Darrels. So you're from Adventures in Babysitting. The kid's name was Darrel. So that if someone was a redhead, you'd be like, yeah, so in my mind whenever someone says Daryl. I don't think a strawberry. I think a strawberry head kids

I'm like oh, yeah redheads, but I'm trying to think of that kid Andy the reason I said it like that is anyone that I grew up with knows exactly who yeah, that's but you said that the exact kid was sound like the bad kid problem he was a problem where people were like Scared of him like he was a bad kid Ricky's could be a problem Ricky I think a Ricky Henderson sure. I don't know a Ricky could be a bad kid, but I know a Rick That's a goddamn sweetheart good guy Ricky's bad. I'm saying but Rick can be all right I think it I think it's what a per what personally affects you like my dad right when my dad moved to Lake County

Which is real trashy he was dating this woman who lived in a double wide and she had a she had a kid named Neil And I used to call him fat tit Neil Cuz FTM FTM and he was a dickhead Okay, so for a little bit Neal's to me were like whenever I'd meet a new or I don't know about you But then I met one in high school. It was a sweetheart. Yeah, it's funny how that Doesn't it really affected me, but I'm trying to think of bad kid names Ricky Ricky is top tier one cuz I remember a kid in elementary school named Ricky and he was a problem

I feel like Tommy all the Tommy's anybody that chose to go by the why the Danny's the Tommies. Yeah. They were my best friends. I'm Dan. He's Danny and he's a sweetheart. But Danny Danny to me I never I never rocked with Danny but my friend Danny was he's one of my so one of my best friends and a sweetheart.

I would say yeah that and Andy's got a and Andy's got a little stink on it for me. And he also could be a nerdy kid. A sweet kid could be. I don't know. That Andy was a problem. Everyone was like, dude, scared of him. He was fucking wild about a couple of bad Steve's in my really. Couple Steve, couple Stevens, Steve in really. Yeah, Steve in, I think, wears a sweater to. Yeah, I think. Yeah. Couple Steve's. Couple Stephens. Stephens. Really? Yeah.

See, Stephen, I think, wears a sweater to school. Yeah, I think Dork. Yeah. Stephen is the way the teachers and the other parents would say, you mean Stephen? Yeah. Because I think he was getting yelled at

and externally talked to so many times that Steve, he's no Stevie, I can tell you that. Which crazy is I rocked Daniel until seventh grade. That's crazy. I was Daniel up until seventh grade And then I started going by Dan and then in high school. I was just Soder. What about the boys? The boys weren't calling you Dan Soder. I was Soder my I went by Soder so much that my friends One of my best friends older sisters at his high school graduation party was like your name's Dan

Yes, she was like I thought you were just Soder. And I was like, well, I have a first, I'm not Madonna. Or as formerly known as Daniel. But yeah, I would go by Soder. Some guys just fall into that cat at Foley. I was obviously a Foley. My mom calls him Foley. Yeah, but he wouldn't be a Ryan. My mom calls me Soder.

Really? She has a different last name. She just goes, hey, Soder. What's up, Danny Soot? Sadie. But she would go like, she'd be like, not all the time, you know what I mean? But she would be like, Soder, get in here. You know?

Sure. I get that. It still does it. Yeah, my name never works. And when people over the years have tried, like, what's up, Ryan? And you're like, no. No. Well, also, last name, first name.

Of course. Two first names. and Kevin is a good name Foley. I Only know you as that's a movie character last name. Yeah Foley Foley's a great Kramer's a big one somebody Kramer Yeah, yeah, but like I had a my buddy there was certain guys that went by last names and certain guys that didn't what is that? What what breaks? I don't it's gotta be the first name. It's the rhythm of the last name. It's the rhythm of the last name. Yeah. The rhythm of the last name. My good buddy Seth Pollins in high school. We didn't call him Pollins, we called him Seth. Yeah. You know what I mean? We had two of my best friends, Garrape, great last name. That's Danny, but he would go by both. He was like a daywalker. Sure. He could be Danny or Garrape. And then my

friend Foo Jack never went by Mike It was always cuz food Jack's such a rare nice good and a lot of offshoots We had food Jack something we'd call him food Tang. That's pretty fun. Who was always the best? Who's pretty good my phone is what's food doing food right now lives in Denver married great guy. That's good to say it at foo Oh, yeah, where's hisoo working or is he home? Or when we'd be drinking in the garage and you'd show up, we'd go, Foo, Tang, Foo, Tang. There you go.

Dude, that was fun. It's a good time. One of those nice. That was always a good one. Yeah, that is the first name and the last name. Because I'm a last name guy. Always been Soder. That's why when they were like,

what are you gonna call your podcast? I was like, I'll just call it whatever people call me. Soder. You know? Yeah. Because then some people try to, you know, this is a as a last name guy. Some people try to do a branding. I know it's got to be natural.

Let them naturally. Sure. Yeah. Do you ever have people sometimes I'll get people. So what do I call you? Do I call you H. Do I call you Henry? Do I call you Foley? Yeah, I'm not a fucking asshole. I don't know. Pick it. Yeah. What's crazy is my age. My dad's family called me Danny.

And so I would always be like what? They're back Danny and you're like, no, no, no, Danny's good though. I like Danny. I love it Danny It was good when I was little sure my mom when I was like five years old My mom goes can I call you Danny and I go can I call you Trish? She goes. All right She's like I guess it's Daniel and try a cup of decaf pal. Yeah, I was just immediately fired It's just formal. Okay, I'm using the voo form not to form we get it kid I was telling them the other day I'd freaked me out When I went to when I was real little I went to Catholic school and for a minute before fourth grade we switched schools and The teachers went by their first names, but it was like Miss Susie, Mr. Bob.

I don't like that. Hate it, that shit. Well, you know what's crazy, that's what a lot of black kids do. They'll call you like Miss Susie, Miss. Sure. And when you get around that, you're like, what the fuck are you guys doing?

See, that I like, because I feel like that's a term of endearment, a term of respect. It is a sign of respect, yeah. But it's jarring at first. Sure. You go, Miss Julia, who the fuck is Miss Julia? Well, my middle initial is E, right?

And so when they'd call roll call, it would be Daniel E. So sometimes substitute teachers would go, Danielle, and then you're getting laughed at. Bad day. Bad day. That's when you fake a tummy ache and go, Danielle. You go, Danielle, and you're like, I'll fight all of you. I'll fight every single last one of you motherfuckers. I got a cock and you know it.

Now you just go, that's how I identify. Now you just lean into it. I would get Henrietta all the time. Henrietta. Henrietta. And Roly Poly Foley. Oh. I like it.

I asked it for a while. Sorry about that. Middle school, and they know if they're watching, they call me odor instead of soda Were you chubby cuz it sounds like a fat kids and I was a tall big-headed gangly guy that was like stall It's doing voices. Oh Hey, what's up odor and you'd be like, it's not my nerve. Oh Shut up. It's odor. I took a shower this morning. Yeah.

What did you call your did you do? Ever do you have a lot of aunts and uncles or no smaller family? Right. We have my dad's side was small. My mom's side is pretty big with cousins, but we would call the cousins aunt and uncle like Uncle Steve and Betsy. They're wait. Call the cousins and uncle. There's my mom's first cousin. Gotcha. But I moved there when's first cousins. Gotcha. But I moved there when I was young.

Gotcha. Same situation. And so we would just be like, what am I gonna call them? Cousin? That sounds country as shit. When they're older. Cousin Steve.

Yeah, third generation older. That's your aunt or your uncle. Yeah, aunt Mark, aunt Annie, but really they were my mom's cousins. Anybody not blood related to you that you would call uncle? Like maybe one of your dad's friends. That's uncle Jimmy.

Yeah. No, my dad's friends, you just call him by the first name. There was Jim Guy There was like a couple other ones really an uncle guy one time and as a six-year-old trying to figure that out I never met a guy Guy and he goes this where's that lady? Yeah, this is guy Dude I couldn't wrap my head around this uncle buddy. Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah That was always the one where I was like what that is apartment complex I was like What's up, bro? He lived above him. I was like oh hey guy I guess just your guy We had it we had a cousin who got older and tried to lose the term of the aunt and the uncle when he was about 22 and tried it at a fourth of July party. Oh, no, dude the family gris turned on

Turned on him. Yeah, what you call me? Yeah, what that's am I like? Okay, he's like sorry Marcy And sounds so disrespectful Sorry, Marcy. Sounds so disrespectful. I don't know why. My parents were always anybody that wasn't Uncle Mike and Colleen. If they were outside of the family, it was Mr. Riley, Mr. Wilson.

Always. Manners. Even when we got older, Manners were big. Well, we were terrible in the house. I try to explain this to people. I could cuss all I wanted. Sure. But I could not. Not say please or thank you. Sure. That was very big.

My mom was like hyper vigilant about that. Remember how brutal they were? Like you, I was a good kid with please thank you manners to the adults. But even still after it was already beaten into me for years, I could be halfway open the envelope with the card into it. Did you say thank you?

Oh yeah. It's like I'm gonna fucking get to it. I don't fucking get to it Timing lady, I gotta I gotta gauge the reaction of you When you get a shitty gift and you have to go like you give a shit. Thank you. Thank you. Oh a towel Trapper keeper cool a Garfield towel. Thank you That thing's gonna stuff the doorway of my room and I'm getting high. But I'm getting lifted later. Yeah. When I'm all fucking baked out of my mind, I got this Garfield towel.

I'll be nuttin on Garfield's face. Thanks for the jizz rag, Nana. Thanks, Trish. Yeah. I'm going to be busting an Odie's face. I remember one time my brother, man, he still makes fun of me to this day. The one Christmas I was probably maybe 10, but I got a whole set of Smurf towels. I got the washcloth and towel. Full set.

Full set dog. And I loved it. I was maybe like 10. OK. And I started crying because I liked it so much. Wait, like you won an award like an Oscar. Crying ball. And as soon as I'd soon as I got in the GI Joe headquarters. I've got all this stuff. And I open that up and I started bawling and crying. My brother started dying laughing.

I mean, that is funny because to bust your cry nut on Smurf towels. On houseware. You go, oh my God. Oh, there's the bath towel. They seem so plush. Oh, there's the hand towel. I can tell plush. Oh, there's the hand towel. I can tell these are ready to use. I don't need to wash them.

That is pretty sick though. A whole Smurf. You know what? That's like something that you wish you would have taken immediately and boxed up and then used at like 30. Yeah. You know, I got a fresh set of Smurf towels.

If I would have thought, don't take that fucking GI Joe headquarters out of the box and fucking put that away You can be selling that for money Play with it. I lost a goddamn war. I gotta get peanut butter on this immediate How do I get chip grease all over this expensive toy, this is cool, but I gotta break something on it I always loved when you get a cool toy and then completely fuck up the stickers that were supposed to go My dad didn't either I don't know you want to play with the car you're like supposed to put stickers on

Just like finding things as stickers all over like flames that you were supposed to put on it Once you got that fucking American flag on the jet crooked. It just took you out of it I couldn't imagine you're like trying to play war and you're like, I don't know I just feel like they wouldn't have fucked up the play. I feel like a paint job would have been better. Guys, aesthetically, we've already lost this war. Oh my God, the enemy's not gonna take us seriously.

We look like a bunch of bozos. None of these planes match. Cobra commander goes, look at them, they can't even get their flags right. Yeah, that always- They're training programs a week. That always, I remember my dad got me the Ninja Turtle van and I fucked up the stickers

And I was like damn there was supposed to be like little pizza things that would shoot out Yeah, and I never put the pizza on it. So just like a little orange. Yeah Guess I'll make them bombs or something. They were made all covers. Yeah. Oh boy Adam and Eve time, baby Shove something in you naughty time. Look out you want to thank your mom in the house for Mother's Day This year I got it for you here. We go a crib trip to Adam and Eve Wait your mom or boy The mom of the house your wife which on the weekends. It's me If you're looking for whips and chains, they've got you covered gang.

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Here's the thing. My stepdad tried to get me into models. So he bought me the Batmobile, the Tim Burton Batmobile. OK. And then once we made it, there was too much glue on it. The wheels didn't move. Yeah. And I was like, well, this doesn't go with my action figures. And he was like, no, I was like, this sucks. Yeah. Models to me. They got it. It's got to be the scale for me when I was a kid.

To me, models were the equivalent of sparkling water to soda, where you go, I just want soda. I don't want spark. I want the toy. Yeah, I don't want the toy. I wanted to do them. I thought like when you see somebody that really knows how to do them, like make one of those things, it's unbelievable. It's like the coolest toy ever. Mine never looked like that.

I know. Mine was always glue heavy. It would always be like fat lines of glue on it. Yeah. Never had the steady hand to pull it off. Never. What kid was doing that? I was also in a rush.

Also, did you ever go to a kid's house and they had the planes on the strings? Oh yeah. What? No. And you go like this. Let's get up on that bed and pull those down. Yeah. Let's play with them and they're like, no.

Yeah. That was the whole point. Well, I'm not hanging out with you anymore. Rip those things down and let's get up on that bed and pull those down. Yeah. Let's play with them and they'll be like, no. Yeah. And you're like, well, I'm not hanging out with you anymore. Rip those things down and let's start a couple bombing runs. Let's have a dog fight. Yeah. What were you guys, hanging out at a museum? Who had that kind of kids? My brother was really meticulous. He was good with models.

He'd make cool models. And he'd have like four or five planes hanging in his room. That's exactly it. And I'd go in there, man, and like try to play with it on the thing. Oh, that's day. He would push me. You're whipping it around.

That's what it is. Because you would want to do that. You go, well, it's on the string. Let's take it out back and fucking whip it. Yeah, fucking awesome. I never got into models. It was always too much. I'd rather just.

Snap tights I could do because I was dumb. I could do a snap tight all day. I would rather make a car out of Legos and use it with my action figures. I never had any of that shit. I had a remote control boat one time for Christmas. Man. And we waited. I had a dude, we got it for Christmas. And the only, we had a, my dad was renting a house after they got divorced. And there was a pool from the person, there was a pool in the back. But it didn't open up until fucking June sure sit with this and he got it

I don't it was for Christmas for Christmas and the package was all den it It was like must have been the last thing you know that fell off a truck. You know the plastic Repo like the plastic window that would be on those big boxes absolutely it was slit like that It's probably returned probably return bunch of bricks of coke in the hall I don't know. It's probably returned probably return bunch of bricks of coke in the hall I got a friend named Amelia waiting on this I got my we used it Well, it's sunk immediately Didn't even get the motor running just put it in and sunk to the bottom of the pool and we had to wait until fucking June to get it out that sucks. My stepdad was really

My first stepdad was very mechanical. He could build stuff, right? And so we got these RC cars He bought me and him each an RC car. They were awesome And he was like we're not playing with him yet And I was like why I want to put the RC car and he's like hold up and then he put Giant wheels on sure that was big back in this probably early 90s mid 90s. There was two classifications There was the shitty ones from Radio Shack and then the ones you're talking about where you had to have a dad or an uncle Oh a brother that fucked and knew about that kind of my stepdad was like listen I think you love your love of wrestling is gay

He wasn't into football let's talk about horsepower baby He was in the NASCAR when no one is. He was like, loved Richard Petty. He like loved all, he would watch like drag racing, like the real shit. Drag racing's a different kind of dirt bag. I mean, dude, that was Nick would do like, Nick would take me to like, to races, to like the Western Stock Show.

He loved all that shit. Talk about a dude who loved ESPN 3. Yeah. No, he liked ESPN before ESPN was ESPN when ESPN only showed car racing, occasionally college basketball, it was mostly like motorsports. Dude, my stepdad showed me race car bloopers. Oh, yeah. I was like eight and it was mostly just people dying looking back at it, but it was fucking, it was rad. I watched a guy get ran over by Grave Digger

Dude and my stepfather goes Those those those are like real big balloons. He got hyped He got hyped to get his tickets to truckasaurus Rex, but it sold out I wanted to see that they hold my whole life big foot fucking truckasaurus Rex coming foot and Grave Digger were his like That was on Wywood's boardwalk used to be able to get a ride in Bigfoot or Gravedigger. I think they switched back. It was like, that was the first time I found out there was multiple of those trucks roaming around the country. Bigfoot was the original.

That's disappointing. Bigfoot was the big... Because there wasn't that much paint and it wasn't that much pizzazz on it. No, he was blue with the gold logo on the side that said Bigfoot and he would crush cars. Gravedigger came around and everyone's like, yeah, kind of like Bigfoot was Hulk Hogan. Grave Digger was ultimate war. We're we're we're we're putting a lot of lipstick on this thing.

We got this thing sick. Yeah. But Nick was like in shout out to Nick. Nick would like to build things and stuff. He was always like in the car. He was he built a dirt bike in our garage. He was like, awesome. But he built these RC cars that he's like, no, because they'll get stuck if they go in the grass.

This way they can go in the grass, they can go on. So you could just take it and crank that wheel on the side of the thing and it would go. Dude, I had them until I moved out at high school. They still worked. He made them last and it was awesome. Then my dad lived with this alcoholic named Jim, who was like kind of brilliant.

And he, they lived on, they were like lake people. So they lived near Clear Lake, this giant lake. And he built a duck that would go up to 80 miles an hour on the lake. Ran on moonshine. Dude, he would just get fucked up. Like a small duck. Like it looked like it was a plastic duck and he put like a boat,

like a mini boat engine on it, but juiced it. And then my dad... You seen my duck move? Dude, my dad one time was like, Jim's gonna launch his duck. Do you want to go watch it? And he would give it names like Duck Off or Duck and Rad. He would like give it like that. And Jim was like one of those guys where his fingers were yellow from smoking too many

Winston's. And then he was like, you guys, he made potato guns out of PVC pipe. I knew that guy. Dude, I swear to God, this is one of my favorite visits. It got sad by the end of the visit, but there were highlights, the highest of highs and lowest of lows of me visiting my dad when I was 12. It was the last time I saw him healthy before he died, I'm the highest of highs and lowest of lows of me visiting my dad when I was twelve. It was the last time I saw him

healthy before he died but he was full on trailer trash drinking morning noon and night. Stayed at Jim's house. Very haunted. Him and Jim live together. Really? They had a sawed off shotgun under the couch that they just kept. It

was a pump handle. Wasn't a shot out. Pump handle shotgun just in case they had a they had a cat named tough cat TC who would kill Squirrels mole like rat moles and shit like big fucking laced rats and he would drag them to the front door Yeah, show you to open them as a present you like oh shit I got damn, but I stayed there for like three weeks I wanted to go back to my grandma's because I was like this is scary you guys are scaring me

But all we did was listen to Jerky Boy albums. My dad would get blackout drunk with Jim on the front porch. Sounds like you're in a frat. Dude, it was wild. They had a parade in Lakeport and Jim built a potato gun and we were firing potatoes at the fucking parade. See them pussies down the hill. Dude, just going like,

just like he would grease up a potato, pull it in and then he had a starter, like a switch starter that would shoot it and it would go, thunk and he would just fire it over the house. And I was like, this is awesome. I remember being 12. They shall march in the dark. And being like, dude, can I move in? Fuck school.

I don't want to live in Colorado. I want to live in Lake County, California. And he was like, dude, so dangerous. He was probably hurting people. But I remember- Not probably, he was hurting people. But I remember they took a case of beer in a cooler filled with vodka and rum, and we sat on the shore of the lake down by the docks,

and he put that duck on there and was like, I'm going to scare people in boats. And he would just go like- Oh, I didn't scare people in boats. And he would just go like, think of that. You're like, go across the water. Diving off a bass boat. It was wild. Cause a lot of people would go bass fishing in that lake. Dude, it was wild.

I think Jim's definitely dead right now. I know Jim tried to fuck my dad's ex-girlfriend, seeing judge dread at the drive-in. And I remember that was a problem they had when I was staying with it's the loan Yeah, my dad was like you took her to the judge dreading us Ah, we both fell asleep and they were like mad and I was like, I think this is bad any movie but sly's movie Haunted 100% are you a haunted guy? Yeah, you are The house we lived in when I was born in Connecticut was haunted really my mom was like it was on my mom used to work When she was in college she worked at the hotel that the shining is based off of in Colorado

And she would like Jesus she worked out sage this where they filmed it They would it was the exterior shots were filmed there. It's the Stanley. I think it's the Stanley Hotel. And my mom worked at the restaurant and she said she would close up for the night and be opening for breakfast. And she would close and she would come back into the hotel and all the chairs would be on the tables and not like porters didn't do that.

Like, you know, it would be like upside down and weird and they'd be stacked and she'd be like, and she said the hotel staff was like, yeah, it's haunted. Like the Stanley's like very haunted. And your house that you were born in. So my grandma- They're probably attached to her. Yeah, they probably globbed on. Probably been following around this whole time. Well, this was like-

So he got stuck with me. Yeah. He's been dead for 80 years. You see him? He's just the whole time, you can see that guy. He used to be a Catskkill comedian back in the day. Let me get a smoke. So they my mom, the house that I lived in when I was a baby,

my grandma came to visit from San Francisco, my dad's mom. And my dad was a bartender, so he'd get home late at night. And our guest room was like on the main floor, which was like you'd come in the garage and then then in the garage there was a bedroom, and then the stairs up to the kitchen and shit. Because there was a ranch style upstairs, but then the basement. And my grandma was like,

well yeah, you came home last night at like one in the morning. And he's like, I wasn't home till three in the morning. And she was like, oh, well the lights were going on and off, and you were walking up and down the stairs. And my dad was like, that wasn't me. And my mom was like, yeah, that was pretty common in her house You would like hear it you would like hear something walking up and down the steps and you go looking there'd be nothing there

Fuck fuck that and so I'm like, yeah, you know, it makes sense. I don't know I feel like we don't know enough about the world to be like ghosts aren't real but I don't know if I Wouldn't be surprised if they aren't real and I'm dumb What would you see your dad's house with Jimmy? Oh, do shit would move aren't real, but I don't know if I wouldn't be surprised if they aren't real and I'm dumb. What would you see in your dad's house with Jimmy? Oh, dude, shit would move. She would move in a way that you're that was the doctor. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Got a motorized bed sheet flying around. Me, me, me, me, me, me. I'm fucking with the kid. But like, I remember like a door opened and slammed shut and both my dad and Jim were asleep and I was sleeping on the couch and it like didn't open like The wind opened it it opened like boom BAM and I was like, oh shit And then I and then the next night I was like I told my dad and he goes yeah

There's some stuff that happens here you dude. I would have been fucked first I want my grandma's I think that was like the night or two before I was like, yeah, I'm gonna go stay at Nana Sleep here. I'm getting up that night. I didn't sleep that night. I'm turning every light. That was the TV was on. I'm screaming. Everybody get up. No one sleep until sunrise. It was the door to the kitchen. I was gonna make a little break. Why is everything better during the day? I don't know, man. The second that sun breaks, that's scary. I honestly fell asleep at like seven in the morning. And my dad woke up and I was like, the door slammed.

He goes, ah, now that happens. And you're like, what's this casual behavior? How about a fucking heads up? Yeah, you wanna tell your child, your 12 year old boy, where mystical shit happens to kids all the time? It was wild, dude. That was like a visit, like I said, highest of highs, lowest of lows.

I've said this before, but I stayed at my buddy's house and his great aunt was staying there And she had night terrors. That's a haunting in itself. She would go you just hear down the hall Give me a fucking heads up somebody's really giving it to her Damn, all right get it on Just like hear that clapping noise do my my buddy had a night terror in front of me in seventh grade And it was fucking horrible my roommate my college roommate every now shout out the flip would sleep with his eyes open That's why I'd wake up and he just because we're next to each other. He'd just be staring at sleep

I'm like what'd you do last night? He's like The guy right man, yeah, just it looks like he's stressed real cool squad You got there can't be and I was like, dude you sleep with your eyes over. He's like, yeah, it happens sometimes I'm like, let me know. My friend woke up and grabbed me screaming. And I was like, no! I had a joke about it on my Netflix special, but it's true. That was like, actually happened.

And then I went downstairs with his stepdad and we were just sitting in the living room while my friend's mom was talking to him. And my friend's stepdad goes, yeah, he gets those sometimes. And you're like, all right, well. I like, he had like an army blanket on me. I was sitting on the couch like, you got one of those aluminum victim. So silver ones for tornado victims. You got anybody we can call?

Yeah, I was like, ah, it was wild. I've never seen someone flip out like that. Yeah. But I guess Louis Katz told me a story. He was on the road with Kurt Metzger at night terrors. Fuck that. They would like wake up and dude, that's like, you can't, they're sleepwalking, but they're afraid for their life.

Yeah. We did it one time, we stayed at, I remember it was this, the Sayerville mansion or the Sayer mansion in Bethlehem or PA. Me, him, Cotton, and someone else. And we checked in, they're like, welcome to the Haunted Mansion. Nope.

And we pulled shifts. Like we were like, Fars, Thump, and Bub Mansion. No. And we pulled shifts. Like we were like, Farz comp and Bubba. Just fucking, you lean on me, I lean, we ain't got to sleep with our heads in a puddle. Yeah, dude. And then that sun comes up and you're like, finally, the grace of God. But you're so tired.

You need to get the fuck out of here. I'm telling ghosts right now, start doing some daytime activity. You wanna make some noise? I'm telling you right now, there's a whole market of daytime. Separate yourself from the pack. Yeah, start slamming doors during the day. How about picnic haunting?

Well, sometimes they do when you see those videos. It is during the day. Really? Fuck that. Those are doctored. I don't know, man. I'm telling you, that house, you know, my grandma died recently, so I don't ever have to go back to that town.

But every time I drive by it, I'd be like, that house is definitely haunted. Yeah, you catch a feeling sometimes. Yeah. The smell, too You're like it gets cold smell And you have the smell that's on it every goddamn movie. Yeah, when it gets cold you're like wise oh I don't know hey, I would have been I was just in a hotel in DC that I felt like it was on it I just felt like it. I'm out. I'm not gonna old hotel, and you're like yeah, I switch Yeah, I switch. I would go.

Yeah, I switch rooms. I would find bottle caps from water. Like this weekend, I found bottle caps in places where I was like, and I'd check all the bottles of water I had and they all had their caps. And I'm like, why is there a bottle cap in here? That's.

I'm not even, I don't know. That's probably also me being a lifelong weed smoker. Yeah. That I'm like. This isn't even my room. Yeah. How did I get in here? Whose clothes, whose ladies clothes are these? I've had that where I checked into a hotel and I guess they marked it as clean and it wasn't clean. I've had that in Austin.

And you go in and you're like, somebody was just sleeping in here. Dude, the bed is all fucked up. Yeah, yeah. That's it. I went in. You're like, someone was just in here. And I moved hotels because of that. Mad late at night.

Mad late at night, I checked in and I don't know if they were still in there they checked there was no luggage But I feel like they could walk in and go yeah, excuse me It was like 2 a.m. And I was cuz we got in late somewhere, and I was like what the fuck dude Yeah I wanted into a hotel one afternoon in Austin for my cousin's wedding and I walked it was like a cheap hotel and I walked In and the bed wasn't made and like there were towels on the floor, and I was like what's up? And they go oh, sorry, and you're like no not oh sorry I'm going to the Hilton what is this I spent all of my Hilton points. Somebody could freak out and kill you if that happened.

I would lose it. It's a B&E in their eyes. I had a... I bend down just in dark with my night vision goggles on. Welcome. The trap is set. I had blood on my windows in Austin. There was blood on the blinds. And I was like, that's Texas. No way. We dropped him off at a very bad hotel. At La Quinta.

The first time we went down to Moon Tower, we took him down. And we had to put him in the cheap. And also that weekend, all the hotels are full. We were a last minute ad. So we're like, the only hotel that was on the bad side of town. We dropped him off. There was Outdoor pool was empty. Yeah, dude That's for hooker and drugs or 10 minutes Someone's getting a nut off or someone has been brutally murdered or it's a comic on the up and up

I've stayed in some shit hotels, dude The wildest one I stayed in because a comedy was I was doing a show in Albany outside of Albany and the guy Double booked headliners, so he didn't have money for a hotel So he put me at the Sun set in by the Albany Airport and it was Horrible you heard people doing drugs you heard people doing drugs. You heard people like, ugh, ugh, and you're like, they're not smoking weed. That's not weed.

That's methamphetamine. Yeah, when you hear the butane. Dude, where were we? I wanna say like San Fran or San Jose or something, where there's all those homeless people in the hotel. Oh, that's fun. Homeless people in the hotel. They were out in the lobby

and the security wasn't doing anything. That's wild. Remember there was that group of people came real late. They were all like street people, Sacramento might have been It was Sacramento Sacramento's got a wild one They don't use the hotel anymore But the one across from the punchline was like kind of like these apartment ones were just like the doors went outside Which immediately you feel very vulnerable. That's how they get you. Yeah. That's where you put the fucking desk up against the door. 100%. And one time I was getting the rental car, you know, like I had a rental car

because I was going to go visit my grandma. And I remember I was like pulling out of the parking lot and there was like a drainage ditch. And I saw four people come out of the drainage ditch to walk up on the street. I was like, I don't know about this hotel. Maybe that's where the gym is. I don't know.

I asked Molly, I asked Molly from Punchline, I was like, hey, you guys use that hotel? She's like, I always stopped using that hotel a while ago. And you're like, I can see why. Dude, I did one that was, it used to be the Comedy Zone or something in Harrisburg, did you ever do that one? No.

You stayed, it was in the hotel, the club was in the hotel, and I mean, it might've been a seven, it was in the hotel. The club was in the hotel. And I mean, it might have been a seven, it was all one floor. So it was a seven second walk from your door to the show. Nowhere to go, no car, just, oh dude. It was, if I remember, it was the same, the flooring was the same material in the hallway

as it was in the room. That's weird. It just went in. Just nonstop floor. It was bad. You're just doing jokes. There was no like, I'm in the room You just look down at the floor and you're like I'm not in my room, we're on stage.

Exactly. Exactly. That's fucking wild. It was tough. It was not a good one. But I mean we gotta wrap it up. We didn't get to any fucking questions here. I know. It's always a good time. Damn, I didn't even realize we were talking that long. Yeah, we talked for an hour. I thought we genuinely were starting the podcast. I was like, yeah, that goes talk, whatever. We can run through a couple questions here. Please. Let's do it.

This one, this seems like a home run. I never thought of it. This is from dust, dust, dramatic K gang, $10 homey, never had one read, is it garbage to buy a tuxedo from a rental shop that's going out of business? No, I, no, I'm garbage, but that's a good move. That's a great move. Cause think about it, you wear it once every two years maybe?

It's going to be clean. Yeah, get a tux on, you don't want to- It's the same as renting one. Cause so that many people have used it. You're just the last user. If you're comfortable renting one, you should be comfortable buying one from a rental place. Exactly.

Cause you're just taking it home, wash it once or dry clean it, you know, whatever. Then it's yours. It's trashy. But I feel if you buy a new tuxedo, you're a sucker. Someone better buy it for you. Yeah. Me buying a tuxedo for a wedding? Oh, that's crazy.

I'm never going to be in another position to wear a tuxedo. I hope I never am. James Bond? Yeah. What am I doing? Do I think I'm going to cocktail parties? I mean, any. I can make deviled eggs at home. Any wedding I'm in. Give me your root beer. Wear a suit. Yeah,

dude, I don't care. It's buy a rented tuxedo. We were talking to Sal Vacano about it because I'm going the other way and he's famous enough and like, hey, I do me type thing where he goes, he goes no collared shirts, no collared shirts, no dress shoes. I love that. He's doing the tee and the sport coat. Nice jeans. Well, then you look like a startup CEO. Yeah. You go, I'm actually. Synergy.

There's a new app I'm working on that maps the human genome. Seinfeld really has it down. He's got the perfect rich guy look. Nice sneakers, jeans. I modeled my entire existence off the show Seinfeld I wanted to live in an apartment with good sneakers and just have weird friends eat a lot of cereal Yes, love cereal big boxes never saw those tiny boxes in Jerry's Alphabetical order though great Jerry's got it like that, bro. He did drink a lot of 10k

I don't know if you noticed that on a chain K. You remember 10k, right? The sports the sports drink a little bit of fizz to it. Yeah, it was almost like all sport. Yeah It wasn't enough of a soda or It felt like European Gatorade. Yes It was like it was like Gatorade if it had foreskin I don't know what this is. This is disgusting. I hated that shit I don't know what this is this is disgusting. I hated that shit All sport all sport made me mad one time when I bought it and as a Niner fan Jerry Rice promoted it and I was like well, I gotta get behind my short JR. It sucked Yeah, and we have a little bit of a follow-up. Do you remember the pawn scheme that we couldn't wrap our head around?

Yeah, okay This go this this guy used pawn shops and credit cards to get like cash advances, and we couldn't really wrap our head around it. We have an update. OK. Have you ever been to a pawn shop, by the way? We none of us have explained explain the whole thing, what the guy did. So pawn shops. I I understood the use. But when I needed a pawn shop, I was working at a radio station in Tucson

when I had like zero money. Sure. My friend Greg Rampage, USA, Greg Rampage, USA, he gave me the new music test department, which was a Sunday show on KFMA, where we would play new bands. So what would happen is the record labels would send us these albums, but they would be hole punched on the barcode. So you couldn't resell them. So what would happen is I'd get these stacks of fucking albums and I'd put them in a box

in the back of my car in the Stratass and then I'd go to Zia Records, right? In Zia Records I would just give them this box of albums and they'd be like, go look at the store. And then I'd come back and they'd go, do you want $238 store credit or 150 cash? And I'm like, give me that cash. So that was my pawn shop.

That was pretty good. Pretty good scam. And shout out to Shanda, who is the promotions director. She would get these giveaways for Fry's groceries, where it would be $100 for a Fry's gift card. And I'd be like, is that only food? And she'd be like, you can use it on cigarettes. And the money you didn't use, you got back in cash. What it was the best you know

It was the wild wild west back to before computers. They were hundred dollar hundred dollar gift card go buy one pack of cigarettes get My back I mean back then of the cigarettes in Tucson cigarettes were like three dollars four dollars you get 96 bucks back Oh, and then go buy weed with it Go right to the go right to the plugs house great course, but what's the alright? So ten dollar homie follow up on the pawn scheme. I bought a ps5 for 600 bucks on a credit card Mm-hmm. I pawned it for 350 cash for 30 days Two weeks later. I reclaimed it for 415

Then I returned it for a full refund. Oh, that's what we were missing now. That's a good scheme. So I spent $65 in the end, but he got to operate with $350 cash. I will say that reminds me of, and I think I've said this scheme before on a podcast, it definitely wasn't this podcast,

but what we used to do with PS2s, what PS2s would break, right? So what you would do is you would go buy a new PS2 with cash at like Target And you get the PS2 you would open it slowly You know with that you would unglue the things and open the PS2 take the new PS2 out remove the barcode on the bottom that they would scan through the box and then on you would switch it with the broken One so you take the broken ps2 with the new barcode Put it back in the box pretty good sign it up go back to target and go this ps2 doesn't work

And they scan the barcode and they go it's the same ps2 here's your money back and you're giving me my money back I got a new ps2 Flipped it man. I arrived that's till Andy came and stole it He would have taken it he could have taken it and I would have given it to Your controller to your boys got a new scam go. Yeah, you would have rang my doorbell I'm gonna get the PSA no one no one in tech and tag All right here we got one more this one really classed again Is it garbage if your wife's uncle used to live up your nieces and nephews all the way up in the bucket of a tractor and then dump them in the above-ground pool?

Very fun. I mean that's a fucking white trash party. But that is that's that is absolutely white trash amusement park. Dude the dumping that'd be one thing to jump out but the actual dumping into the pool. Yeah, that's the amusement park. Dude, the dumping. That'd be one thing to jump out but the actual dumping into the pool. Here's the thing is that is heavy machinery. So, there's no, after you hear a don't stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop,

you're going. You still have to go. Yeah. You can't hold on. It's more dangerous to hold on in that situation. Sure, you gotta just roll with it. There's a keystone light in the cup holder of that cab. Yeah. For sure.

Yeah. He's laughing. He's laughing with the cigarette bouncing in the corner of his mouth going, the scard shit out of these kids watch them jingle it a little bit One kids hang yeah, what that's how you make an X Games athlete Just like I'll do a flip into it. Oh Goddamn gang man. What a home run ladies and gentlemen the new special is on the road. Mr. Dan Soder You check out his podcast every week Soder unbelievable one unbelievable, one of the best, as we always say. We love you guys on.

We love it. Of course, we'd love to do it. Come hang out on the couch. Of course. Anything else you want the folks out here to know? Anything coming up? I'm on the road, dansoder.com. I'm gonna be doing the full run of Bert Kreischer's

tour, I'm very excited for that. That's gonna be a blast, and then yeah, I'm on the road, dansoder.com. Great. Kipy? Gang, this weekend we are, our second show at the Wilbur, still has some tickets left, get that.

We will also be in Connecticut this Friday. Get tickets there. District Music Hall, I believe it's called. Gang, we love you and we'll see you next week. Peace!