Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Girls Night Out! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Episode Date: August 28, 2025Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley to talk about a Girls Night Out, It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Show...s: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Pretty Litter: Right now save 20% on your FIRST order and get a free cat toy at https://PrettyLitter.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I got a question for all you bozos and homies out there.
Do you think your garbage?
We'll come find out the boys are about to hit the road for that back on the block tour.
We're starting out there on the left coast, baby.
Yeah, we got San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Brea.
Then we got Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts, Atlanta, Charlotte, Raleigh, Richmond, Baltimore,
full Philadelphia, at the Met, Rochester, Toronto.
Guys, get your tickets now.
These will sell out.
We love you.
They'll see you on a road.
Welcome to another exciting edition of
Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is R.U. Garbage.
It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that it has to be classy.
Just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash.
I'm your host, Tate's totally coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tootty's in a new edition.
I just saw her down at the coffee shop.
Okay.
Working on her new screenplay.
Okay.
Coming of age story.
Okay.
About a small, large-headed boy.
Bald.
Bald, young man.
My coach is coming at you across the table.
Here's what we call a family episode.
Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies just to what he like it.
He's my best pal in the whole wide world.
He's a king of the burbs.
He's the king of the boards.
King of the eyebrows.
Give it up for KJ.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang.
Shout out to you.
As always, please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube.
Also, full video over there on Spotify, and the boy, get out your ladders because the boys are climbing to charts.
35 in comedy, 135 top podcasts all around.
Is that what you do every morning?
You wake up.
I check the trades and see what's going on.
Variety, where you at?
I'll be doing a hit piece on us.
Something.
Do a hit piece.
What do I got to do?
Ended an episode earlier.
He had somewhere to go.
He was on a tight schedule.
Then obviously the greatest...
Taking drugs or tanking episodes?
I mean, what the fuck?
Can't get on the list here.
Jesus Christ, man.
Hollywood, hit me up.
The guy you had to go.
He had to be in Brooklyn by 7.
It was 6.30, okay?
Obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.
www. patreon.com.
I'm sure you garbage.
You over go over there.
You get all that bonus content, gang.
Yes, sir.
I'm not on drugs.
Unless you got them.
Let's take a quick bite.
Let's get out of the hall.
Grab a water, grab a coffee.
We got to pop in and talk to the suits because they're getting fucking shattered out
here.
Huh?
Take a walk by the corner office.
There he is.
Fresh back from the Hamptons.
This guy, Hamptons, Connecticut.
Yeah, U.S. Open?
You went to it all, huh?
You guys should try it sometime.
Buddy, I'm getting fucking walloped out here.
Did you have one of those melon balls over at the U.S.
Open?
No.
I didn't go.
My girl went.
I told you.
Who was she there with?
Andy Erotic or something like that?
A good-looking kid.
Everyone went.
Everybody goes out there.
Saw Spike Lee was out there.
You guys got to take me cooler places.
I worked there one year.
You take us to do we stink.
Yeah, what?
He can take us to the restaurant he used to work at,
and I can get you on a roof of amy-ac-me in the Tri-State Navy.
Not a joint clothes.
Snack to run a close, sadly.
Great restaurant in the West Village.
Shout out to it.
Things are changing.
What are you going to do?
Yeah, I worked.
there one year at the U.S. Open. I was supposed to get a cushy job working down on the floor
at like the fucking lowenbrow, or the Hineken bar, and they fucking stuck me up in the nosebleeds.
I was serving hot chocolates in the summer.
With criminals.
Jesus Christ.
That's a tough.
They would come and check our drawer like every five minutes, make sure nobody was stealing.
That's a tough sell in August.
It was a cold Sunday, and I only did it once.
Then I bitched at the kid that gave me the job.
He was like, what the fuck I offered you a job?
You told me you guys I was going to be down, fucking working on a high school.
Connecticut floor my buddy got me the job bitched at him too you picture a lot of people I'm
picking up yeah it was a chilly night and then fucking one dickhead fucking probably one of
his parents friends or something like that comes upstairs and says hey let me get a hot
chocolate it's a chilly night then all of a sudden it became the thing all the rich people
were coming up to get the hot chocolate I'll have a hard chocolate too fucking don't
give me all your money
fucking blackjack your husband
and take your wallet lady
fuck out of my face
you ever been what to do with them
from the wrong side of the tracks
I got hard real quick
yeah
you ever ever been with a guy
with no upper teeth
why don't you come
back to my place
in a story
it's pretty close
I didn't live in a story at the time
I was in Sunnyside
by myself
even closer
fucking guy is coming up
giving me or Ronnie
about to
Roll, you dickhead.
What?
Fucking straight in the house.
A kid I was working with.
My only friend.
Somebody did get busted fucking stealing.
It was all cash.
Yeah, what do you talk to do?
It's like the Liftonza heists.
Before computer, you can walk out with 400 grand.
No one.
Bolli!
You're just stealing hot chocolates?
You bring a thermos to work?
I'm dressed up like a cop.
You're dressed up like a tennis player.
Ronnie, I'll meet you back at the rendezvous.
I just met you, dude.
Say it a nice weekend then, huh?
Lovely.
Prick.
I love you, buddy.
Rich.
You never brought me any of that fruit.
You're going to that fucking fancy fruit stand out there in Long Island.
Round Swamp.
Yeah.
You never bought the water mound look delicious.
You don't bring me strawberries or nothing.
Could have took some of them strawberry seeds and ever rich people with strawberries plant your own.
That's how you get in there.
Man, what a dirtbag move.
Take rich people strawberries, plant the seeds.
Just fucking buy you.
What are you doing?
No, you get them delivered from Japan.
They don't send you the seeds.
They take all the seeds out of the strawberries because they know that's what you're going to do.
And they don't want you to fucking start opening up your own operation.
The way to keep getting fucking hammered up in fucking Shanghai.
There's a lot of fruit like that.
Okay.
I mean, what to fuck?
Never had a pink pineapple?
No.
You got to come down to the Lollipop Club with me.
You got to come down to Eastville and see Rudy.
I want to get fucked up.
I went to dance.
I can't stop doing that.
All right.
Let's quit screwing around here.
Family episodes.
Uh-huh.
Pinhead questions.
Go.
Okay.
Hi, guys.
You're lucky.
I was, as you know, I was down the shore his past weekend.
Hanging out with Denise, right?
The piece.
And the old staple of my childhood we made, we had as a portion of dinner.
Really? Hold on. Can I guess it?
Sure.
Now, you're a picky eater.
Sure.
Larger boy.
Bit of a fat ass.
Yeah?
The middle slices of a loaf of white bread.
I mean, you're in the world.
You ever take him? You're in the...
It's a carbohydrate.
You ever take him and boil them up?
Oh, man. Nothing was better than a...
Stroman?
Yeah, all crushed up, man.
Why was that so...
It's weird that we did that.
I know. It turns...
After a while, it turns into a jawbreaker.
You know, a hole in your tongue eating that, trying to lick that thing.
See a sparrow try to eat that.
She had a bag of amyro-
What?
What?
She just burp through twice-baked potato.
Excuse me, I apologize.
Look at that.
That sour cream's working overtime.
I was going to say twice-
You think about food and get affected by it.
Think about turkey, I get sleepy.
I was thinking a twice-baked potato.
Nah.
She had Amoroso rolls.
We had Amoroso.
She had Amoros.
A bag of this bag.
You know, what is it?
Probably like eight, the bag of eight.
The small little banger, the club rolls.
I'm just saying.
The footballs.
Call them footballs.
Yeah.
They're not football shape.
They're a little snub-nosed johns.
Yeah.
Whatever.
About three inches.
Four inches.
Yeah.
Depends you're talking to.
Soft, hard.
Let's go.
You got a bag of them because she had a party.
Garlic bread.
You make garlic bread with them.
Because they were kind of stale.
They were like not good enough.
because you know you're talking the party was eight days from dinner so them they're I don't know
when she bought them when they got put in the bag when they came out of the oven but it's well over
a week so they weren't good for a Sammy nah I mean listen toast them and that's fucking
whack through them in the oven little butter a little butter garlic garlic salt garlic garlic
garlic powder yeah she did yeah garlic and onion powder I think she's a good
Good girl.
Fucking early 2000.
Nobody's got time to fucking mince.
It took me.
Chop?
That's crazy.
It took me bad.
The smell.
I came out of the shower.
I might as well been in eighth grade going to Mr. Feeney's social studies class.
Those are a little spaghetti sauce, and I'm good with a Coke.
It was hot.
Let's go.
Dude, because the inside don't get cooked.
God damn.
Man.
Just brown.
What else does you have?
Just that?
I just had that and a baked potato.
A baked potato
I had the baby
I was on baby duty
Did you really have a baked potato?
Yeah I had a piece of chicken too
Oh, please
Wait hold on
So it was chicken, a baked potato
And garlic bread
Uh and some vegetables
Yeah
It's a weird dish
Yeah it was kind of
It's a weird ensemble
I mean it's not that crazy
No spaghetti
No
Garlic bread, no spaghetti
What am I nuts?
No I mean okay
Remove the garlic bread
It's a normal thing
I think she made the garlic bread
because it was just to get rid of the, you got to get rid of the bread.
End of the summer.
You can't throw out fucking six Amaroso roll.
You know, everybody kept saying that, that last weekend was the last weekend.
It was the three guys you talked to?
I talked to a lot of people this week.
Yes, I did.
At an active weekend.
Okay.
Fitness-wise and socially.
Last weekend, everybody said last weekend was.
was the last weekend of the summer.
It's not.
This weekend coming up is the last weekend of the summer.
Yeah, I just think for a lot of people, like, school started.
Yeah.
My sister's a teacher.
I hear you fucking typing over there.
You fucking backstab and say, actually, it's the, I think it was the last weekend.
A lot of people.
I don't know why I'm giving you shit.
I don't know why.
Yeah, relax.
Jesus fucking Christ.
It's a good kid.
A lot of people have said it's the last weekend people could go away.
Kids start school again.
Right.
Like my nephew's in private school, not private.
In Catholic school, he went back already.
So a lot of the Catholic.
A lot of the Catholic schools in Full Delphi area are back.
So you have no one's...
Archdiocese.
The archdiocese.
Mm-hmm.
No kidding.
Huh.
I know a lot of people that are going down a shore this weekend.
Yeah, listen, these aren't steadfast rules.
I just think, you know, a lot of people were like, I can't go down the shore anymore.
The kids are back in full swing.
They got school.
No, but listen, I did that one year, I think, where we went away Monday or Sunday and then had school on Monday.
That's like going from vacation.
to school the next day.
My disease is it's like fucking eating too much turkey.
I never could go.
Son Burton's school sucks.
I never could go.
Okay.
Football camp.
Yeah.
Labor Day night, we'd all meet at the field.
Kiss each other.
No.
It'd be the end of camp.
Offense versus defense if you catch my address.
I run a nine-man scrimand, nine on nine.
Shirts for his buttholes.
It was the end of summer camp, and at camp, football kids.
Do you think we want to hear this fucking high school war story?
It's not a war story.
We'd run the whole field.
We'd go from like the...
So it's the story where you look cool in high school?
No, we'd run from one end zone to the other, and then we'd just keep going.
Is that we go to each other's buttholes?
Take it to the end zone.
Go for two.
All right, whatever.
No, no, please continue.
That's it.
You just want you to do that you ran from one end zone to the other?
We'd meet up on the field as you know.
An unspoken bond.
No, I just couldn't go down to shore.
Because you had to run 100 yards?
It was you had practice.
We had practice the night before school started.
School started on Tuesday.
Labor Day is on a Monday.
Right?
I think so, yeah.
Yeah.
So we'd all meet up that Monday.
We're not meet up.
We're talking about practice?
Yeah, you're saying meet up.
I don't know.
We did practice.
We all to be there.
We spent way too much time on one football practice that was 42 years ago.
All right.
Everybody, no one cares.
We know you play football.
It's okay.
We're proud of you.
I'm still proud of you that you played football.
Thank you.
I just don't need to hear about it.
Shooting a movie in the fault, though.
Play gay porn.
Hey.
That's this weekend.
All right.
That's neither here nor there, gang.
We got a gosh darn family episode on our hands.
As you know, when you join the old Patrione.
You get to ask your garbage question.
This one, I don't know if we've ever hit the nail on the head with this.
We've talked about this.
This is a great name, Jehovah Thickness.
You ever brag about how fast you've been in a car?
That's a dirt bag.
Cut it to about 110?
I remember the one.
We hit 104 when I was too young.
I was a kid.
I was a kid.
I scare you.
And my dad's friend was a union delegate.
and he had a, he had a, a Cadillac through the union.
He was an adult?
Yeah.
And he had a.
That's crazy.
He had a white Cadillac, I don't know, something.
And I never, this is a first time.
Like a big boy or like a newer one?
Big, new.
It was brand new because it had a digital speedometer, and this is probably like 92.
No, but like it didn't look like an Eldorado or something.
No, it was like a big new, I don't know what they would have been.
Find out what they were, what Cadillac they were making in the 90s.
It was a big.
It was like that newer model type.
I guess.
I don't remember.
Not like a coup de Ville.
No, it was like a big, I don't know.
I guess the equivalent now would be like the STS they made for a while.
DeVille and Fleetwood, it seems like.
Because those new Cadillacs are pretty nice, the ones that look like regular sedans.
That's the STA.
That was the STA.
The one Pauley Walnut Strode.
Didn't he drive something like that?
That was the STS and the CTS.
CTS was more the coup.
That's what it looked like.
The bigger.
I got it.
But this is early 90s.
Fleetwood.
I wouldn't say big.
compared to a Cadillac
Cadillac's fucking huge
An old Cadillac's huge
Yeah, whatever
I don't have the dimensions
of a 1917
I'm just saying I wouldn't refer to it as big
It was a big car
That's why
It was because there was like five of us
In the back seat
Jumping around
Chicks
And got our way to football practice
That's what I'm talking about
And he hit like a hundred and five
I remember the digital speedometer going up
And I must have been shitting in your pants
And all the kids were jumping
And sky wanted to be like
Where is my dad?
He wasn't with you?
No.
We were driving back.
A guy probably had a couple of beers in them, too.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
I mean nighttime, I'm driving with this guy.
Shout out, great guy.
Yeah.
Ours is probably 110 on the Atlantic City Expressway.
Who!
Coming back from the shore.
Older buddy of ours, R-I-P, was driving.
Fucked up.
Fucked up.
Drinking Gatorade.
It's never good.
Gatorade and vodka out of a Gatorade squeeze bottle
Got up to about 110 for about 10 seconds
And he was immediately hit like a screech so he didn't kill us
Pull over if I can swap them out
Yeah, yeah, yeah
There's a thing I think like in most people you get around the 90 do a lot
Like there's something in the human in most humans bodies where you're like 90
I start freaking out where you're like it just
The things are moving quicker than you like you're like you're it's
it starts to get
But it's funny
And like the Jeep
You get to 83 on the Jersey
Turnpike
It's nothing
I know
They're smoother
Yeah
They're smoother now
Yeah yeah
Yeah for cruising
That is a dirt back
To know
To know and brag about it
For sure
But I respect it
Did you ever freak out
When you were driving fast
When somebody was driving fast
Uh
I mean I've done it in the van
When Ryan D was driving
Where I'm like
He was like
I was like dude
I'm like dude
He hit
We were going too fast.
He had the brakes pretty clear.
I was like, hey, man, there's no reason we needed to be doing 88 miles an hour.
Fucking end up back in the future.
Yeah.
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I freaked out one.
I told you that I were going to tell you to Jack Wagner story?
Yeah.
My cousins went to Jack Wagner.
My mom was driving.
I was 12 years old.
There was like five of us in the back seat.
And my mom started chasing the van that he was in through the parking lot at the Valley Forge Convention Center.
Yeah.
Doing like fucking 60 miles an hour.
to get them.
Everybody was smoking.
I freaked out.
Ruin the night.
Pull over.
Oh, they're going to kill her.
Fucking dumb shit she did.
It's like a 30 for 30.
The Jack Wagner story.
I know.
He's a big star at the time.
You wouldn't know.
You better not crash.
I got football meet up in the morning.
No, it was before I played football.
I wasn't doing crying in high school.
I was probably like 12 or 11 when this happened.
That's way cooler.
Yeah, I was smoking six at 12.
You were fucking.
You were chasing.
down a soap opera started to blow them no i was stop saying that she was no my mom was chasing
them down for an auto no one's doing 60 to get an autographs trying to get some of that dick
my mom no my mom was she was doing it for my cousins okay they're respectable ladies I
didn't say anything and some of her friends were there I think they never let me live it down
a lot of tube tops oh man simply
Shout out to Gina and the girl.
That's it, mach, mach.
This one, sir, Melly Mell.
He's ever had a turf war with another neighborhood kid.
Oh, my God, dude, so bad.
Growing up, there was a spot down the road near a canal that we always hung out at
until one day a random new kid you showed up and tried to assert his dominance.
It got ugly.
Words were exchanged, and I ended up spitting on him and ran away on my bike.
Oh, man, nothing like you.
good spitting ride
yeah we had it there was like a basin
and there's a basin behind us and there was the kids
on that street who's houses backed up to all like
the basin on the one side our house is backed up on the
other not mine but across the street from me backed up
retention pond or whatever yeah and you didn't cross that
and if you did and they call you it was like the pagans
in the fucking it was like the hell's angels
and the outwold dude it was fucking really yeah
wait the house you're in that that she's in now
Yeah, but like not her side, like across.
It was where like two sections of the neighborhood backed up to each other.
And we didn't really know them kids and they were older.
They were more like my brother's age.
Sure.
Tough kids.
Yeah.
They were tough.
Kids that were tough at a young age.
You're like, that kid's like fucking eight.
And you're like, hey, he takes boxing lessons.
You're like boxing lessons.
What the fuck?
Jesus Christ.
Any kid that wore a wife beater was tough.
Yeah.
Had that little mustache forming
Yeah, and you're like
You're fucking nine and a half
It's like a 12 year old that has BO
You're like damn
Your fucking pheromones are pumping dog
I'm fat as shit
And he's balling up
Amaroso bread
Smell like an angel though
We had three tiers
Of townhouse communities in our area
We had town line which is pretty south
Then you had Meadowick
Which is a little bit worse
As far as the quality of children
Run around
Then you had Whitpane Hills
which was fucking up the highway
and man, like the sign
was falling down.
This was fucking single parent city.
Ooh.
Domestic violence
Boulevard.
Those kids were tough as nails.
Yeah. Scary.
Say things like, you couldn't walk a mile in my shoes.
I wouldn't even go in here, dude.
Yeah, to ride your bike up fucking skip back pike to get there.
It's a fucking petrifying, dude.
Hey, we're going to play football against the kids from Whippein' Hills.
I was like, no, the fuck weird.
I got COVID.
Fuck that.
Yeah, when they come rolling in the town, everybody would scatter, like Deadwood.
It's like Omar coming in.
It's funny.
You got shot by a little kid.
Yeah, that's the brilliance of it.
Did that kid ever get it?
He's like, what?
I don't know.
The show ended.
Oh, that was the end of the show?
Yeah, I think Omar died in the last episode or a second to like, that was like that was the bow on it.
It also goes to show like anybody, it's the streets.
Right.
Anybody can get God.
You're going to tell me.
Told you about the football practice.
Couldn't get on the shore for Labor Day.
You can tell me about hard times.
I don't know what it's like.
All right.
Let's see here.
This one's from Casey $10 KB Jr.
diaper buyer, never have one read it.
Shout out to you.
Is it garbage to put A1 on a hot dog?
Huh.
I've only ever sauced, like proper sauced up a dog.
one time this guy Sam used to work with my dad he was from South Carolina and knew his way around
the grill okay had Sam secret sauce who's Sam secret sauce what you mean who's Sam's he was
Sam oh he was his secret sauce was something you may sound like it was like you know nationwide no I did
not I said his he was Sam and he had Sam secrets what was it I his secret what the fuck
doesn't tell my fat is I although he put it on hot dogs and I was very very skeptical was it
Like a ketchup?
Was it like a mustard?
Was it like a steak sauce?
His secret sauce is a mustard.
That's crazy.
I'm mustard-e.
No.
This is a fat-ass.
It was more of like a, it was a red, like a barbecue red saucey.
Okay.
There's probably just everything mixed together.
Why are you hating on this sauce?
I don't get it.
I'm just saying.
As a guy.
I'm just saying.
As a guy?
It's all just everything mixed together.
Probably a little bit of A1, a little bit of ketchup, a little bit of mustard.
That's what sauce is.
I mean, no one's like cracking fucking Adams
And making new sauces over here
It's all just shit put together
There's new sauces
Why do you know not like this
I didn't say it didn't like you jealous that I haven't had Henry sauce
There's something
You're taking it personal
I would have put little slits in the hot dogs
So the flavoring
He spiralized them
That was the first time
And listen I didn't like that
He tried that and I was not a fan of him
But he turned you
Well he had made a stack of dogs
With the stuff on him
And I said you
I'm a dry dude
diesel kind of guy around here, all right?
Dry dogs.
Hey, Steve, whatever your name is.
Steve and your new song.
And he then put some, like, he did one or two non,
dry dogs for me.
The bitch dogs.
But they were on the same plate.
And they got a little salt.
And I didn't like it, but there's only two dry ones.
So I'm like, all right, man.
You got to get two.
I got to have my two dogs.
My two dogs.
That would be, that would be my auto.
My two dogs.
Can you like this?
Is this a stack of dogs in front of
someone make that?
It's always two, right? Two dogs?
It's two dogs. I mean, I'll
do a three piece. No, no, no. Listen, please.
Oh, yeah, no one's, I'm not doing one dog. Above, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Minimum on
at the table. Two dogs. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Break that up any way you want. Put it on the outside, the inside,
the inside. Every one.
They're two dog minimum
On my table
Make sure you tip your dealers
So then you got into the sauce
And I got it
Well yeah
That was the only time
I really had it
It's tough to get
I mean you do the chili
Whatever
That's not like a
Sauce per se
But yeah
It was the only time
A man blew my tits
I walked out
I said Sam
You got something going here
I heard someone fully think
I hate to say this
I've
And I've had it recently
To try to rekindle something
I've lost
my taste for A1, which as a kid, I fucking loved it.
As a kid, me and my brother were huge A1 guys.
Go to the concerts, rent the videos, the whole nine yards.
We loved A1.
We used to take frozen hamburgers and a pan in the summer and douse them in A1 and cook
them like that, like make a Salisbury steak with just the A1 sauce.
That's crazy to me.
To me, A1 sauce was such a grown-up thing.
Really?
And that was tangy.
A kid doing A1 sauce.
A one sauce was wild.
My brother put it on burgers, mashed potatoes, everything.
I get it.
I'm just saying, like, in my head, that was like, that was for my stepdad.
You used to have a cup of coffee with dinner, too, though.
Sure.
That was like a, that was for my stepdad on special occasion.
That wasn't like a daily sauce.
Oh, no, always.
I thought kids weren't allowed to have A1 sauce.
Yeah, that's like, I mean.
I got alcohol in it.
Yeah, something like that.
Yeah, no, that's wild.
No one's ever been like, you want A1 sauce.
And you're like, A1 sauce out of age.
I'm just a little bully
I'm in high school lady
A1 and Heinz 57 sauce
was huge in our house
huge
but now
the steak sauce
has gotten a little sweeter
at you know places
so my tongue is now
bigger than ever
yeah whatever
I read the comments
me too
he had to leave
and now I can't I can't do A1 anymore just it's something on a hot dog though
hmm I'm okay I wouldn't I wouldn't want too much I would just I would need to like line the
bun with it or so just one part of the bun to get the flavor when the dog gets too
it's too much same thing I'm same thing with uh any sort of condiment on a on a
sure same thing with a burger A1 makes you think a ground round for some reason I feel like
their burgers had like that steak sauce flavoring to them or something i can't recall
love the smell of any of a ground around on the outside coming in on a cool winter's day
or a nice fall evening pulling in the parking lot of a ground round smell them char-borel char-boreled
burgers char-borel you char-brile them burgers listen my kids outside he's a big fat ass you better
char-broil your burger than any one dog i do that i do that i do my father speaks is there anyone here
my wife can blow
Hey
Is there any local celebrity
Told you she's getting
She's getting her knees
Her place
I mean I am I supposed
Not to make that joke
Should be back in action
All right
This one's from Wilkes Barbarian
Love it
Are you garbage if your aunt
Was a ball girl
For the local triple 8
And you remember
That every game
You went with her
You got to ride home
With a player
From the opposing team
Because after she dropped you off
she had to give him a ride to his hotel
because he missed the team bus.
I did get a lot of free game balls
autographed by various Toledo mudhens
in the 88 to 89 season.
Whoa.
Holy heck.
Talk about knee replacement.
Listen.
That is a good gig.
If that's, if for a broad like that,
if that's what she's doing,
I'm not here to judge.
I'm not here to shame.
It's a fucking 80s.
I think of,
about that, dude, there's no, this is the only
remembrance that she was. Probably a good
looking lady. Players are probably, you know,
good looking dudes back then, man's
men. That's the way it was back then.
She was probably single in her mid-20,
whatever, though, 50s, whatever.
I mean, if this kid's, she's younger.
But what, you know,
a new guy every week?
It's not, I'm sorry, I doubt it's every week.
Maybe it is.
It doesn't mean that anything happened.
They could have just went to the bar, had a drink.
Man, involving the kid, though.
He's dropping them off first.
Dropping them off.
They're not like waiting a fucking car in a hotel.
Uh-huh.
To me do with Jack Wagner.
I mean, sit down in the lobby for an hour.
I kid.
Ouch.
This one's just, wow.
This was one from Wolfstale McGee.
Is it garbage to brush your teeth when you want something sweet, but you're too broke to buy anything?
I respect that move.
Well, that's, I guess that scratches the itch.
Or does it prevent the...
It prevents it.
Sometimes it would just go like...
Now I can't eat anything.
I can't want anything.
Brush your teeth.
That's why...
That's pretty good.
I've heard somebody that was in shape does that.
They brush their teeth.
Because then you don't want to eat.
Yeah, right after dinner.
Good.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Some guy that does it after lunch or something like that,
so they don't eat sweets or anything like that.
Yeah.
Because I prefer...
What?
What?
This just in
Ladies and gentlemen
Clear the floor
In the morning
I prefer to brush my teeth
After I have my breakfast
Oh 100%
I don't brush my teeth
So I leave the house
I'm getting ready to leave the house
Yeah
I like my coffee
I learned that from grade school
What you mean
Fucking brushing my teeth
And I'm upstairs
And coming down to fucking
Trying to put down
A fucking sunny D
You're fucking
Getting your mom's face
And your teeth fall out
Fuck that
Fucking get you
Kills it
Yeah, no, I never, I'm always, I mean, I think I used to brush my teeth going to school downstairs, like in the pout, like the first floor bathroom.
I think we used to keep it, because we'd eat breakfast, and then, like, as you're walking out, you know, get a fucking good scrubba dub, dub.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
If I'm not leaving the house, I don't get street ready.
I ain't showering, I ain't brushing, I ain't doing nothing.
Really?
So long as you're going on, out brushing your teeth, would you say?
A couple days?
Not a couple.
I mean, if it's a couple days, I'm, like, sick.
Hmm.
It would, I don't know.
I don't have it documented, but, like, I brush him in the morning, go to bed, drunk.
I'm not brushing them drunk.
Sure.
Wake up, hung over, and I'm just couching it.
Mm-hmm.
Getting, I haven't done this in a long time.
Juice.
Bacon, egg, and cheese.
Getting everything delivered or running right out, getting it and coming back up and eating and going back to bed.
Like a little rat.
Yeah.
Yeah, you never saw me.
Maybe to the next morning, if I'm like proper.
That's like if my wife's away, we're not, we're cool.
I'm not doing spot.
I'm not leaving the house.
Except to go get more food.
Like I like it.
I respect it.
Rolling in my fucking.
My tumbleweed of brown paper bags and tin foil sandwich rolls.
Making a nest out of sandwich wrappers.
You wife's putting pillow pads all around them.
So you can't get through the holes?
A little rat.
I said only doing she's not there.
That wouldn't fly with her.
I lean in for a smooch and she hit you with a...
Get that hell out of you.
Yeah?
I mean, if I'm...
Yeah, kick.
I do the same thing.
Sniff on her.
I give her to Heisman.
What?
You make it sound like you've never had bad breath
because you haven't brought your teeth in the morning.
Very bad.
Yeah, I know.
Very bad.
Might have a bad tooth.
Listen, I've seen them.
There's no good teeth in there.
That's not true.
That's a whole.
I just got big lips.
None of your teeth are good.
Oh, God.
Some DSLs.
What's DSLs?
Dick sucking lips.
His fucking guy.
Kevin, do you have another question?
Maybe that's why you're hit with the boys.
Your teeth are so small.
Just saying.
What are you just saying?
I just said it.
I don't know how else to say it.
They like you because your teeth don't get in the way when you're filleting them.
A little tight-lip Susie over here.
Jack Wagner.
Big star back in the day.
Big star now.
I don't think so.
Whatever.
Everybody always says that shit.
What happened to so-and-so?
They got fucking rich and they're fucking chilling.
All right.
This one's from Sean.
Ten-dollar new, homie.
Is it garbage if your stepmom gifted your brother?
Your cousins used Bart Simpson's shirt for Christmas.
P.S. Our cousin was there
called her out and she threw the shirt
and his face it stormed out.
What the fuck?
Wait.
So your stepmom stole your cousin's shirt
and gave it to your brother?
What the hell?
Dude, that is like, that's like
being on perks and like...
There's drugs involved in that, for sure.
I don't know if it's perk has said. Something.
Something that comes with a prescription.
That ain't over-to-counter stuff.
Unless it's a bunch of things mixed together.
and cook somewhere.
Okay, suit of fed.
You got to spell it out for you?
Corrissiden.
Corrissiden special.
Yeah, that's fucking...
I didn't get mad about.
Okay, fine.
It's fucking my t-shirt.
That's something you would do.
Cause a scene.
You never loved me anyway.
Those Bart Simpson shirts were huge.
I remember I had a Notre Dame one that didn't quite fit right and didn't really make
sense.
I couldn't find like a good one.
You know, we talked about this week when you were a kid and you
couldn't figure out why did the t-shirt didn't fit or hang or wear the way it did
because it weren't like worn in you were a fat kid as i was a fat kid the collar you know what i
mean you really had a wear t-shirts in and this one just never did the collar was too tight we got
at burlington goat factory and it was him wearing a Notre Dame helmet kicking a football or something
like that i don't think i ever had any uh those t-shirt bart simpson t-shirts were fucking
They use that kid to sell everything.
Vodka, chocolate, Butterfingers.
They didn't give a fuck.
He probably wasn't getting the money, but...
Child union labor walls.
He sold everything.
Yeah.
Time shares, cars, fucking golf clubs.
I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
Exactly.
Yeah, I never had any of that...
He saved Butterfinger for a little while.
Yeah, I mean, for a little bit of...
Probably two decades.
yeah um carried that fucking ship carried it i'm trying to think i don't think we ever had any of that
butterfingers no i did there was a phaser i was in a butter but they get stuck in your folders
yikes all right giving yourself a filling
fucking smooth a little enamel smooth that it's good picking though something to dig at later
yeah when you wake up with like a bump on your tongue you're like what the fuck you're one of
them mid comma a look at it maybe put it back in for a little
Savor the flavor, baby.
Yeah, we never had any of that.
I was kind of funny, I was talking to my mom this weekend about,
because these young kids, my nephews, they all got gear.
And that's changed with like availability of ordering clothes and stuff like that.
I mean, if you have proper gear.
And we just, I mean, like, I'm not, we had cooler stuff.
If it was available
Some Russell
That's some Russell
But it was like
You just get what's at the mall
And you don't
These kids know what's cool
Like for us it was like
I saw a kid wearing that
It looks cool
There's now like across the country
Cool stuff for a nine year old to wear
Sure
You know that they all know about
From Instagram
TikTok like this is what the cool kids
That's why they all look fucking identical
We had jams and stuff like that
I'm not saying stuff wasn't hot or cool
But these Jeffers
These kids are identical
Yeah
They all have the same hair
cut. They were the same. It's like...
I feel like when we were younger, you could make something
cool. Does that make sense? Yeah, I feel like that does
from what, I mean, listen, I'm not in elementary
school or junior eye anymore.
But just they all look
because now there is
a universal, this
is cool. It used to be like localized, like
the cool kids in my school are wearing
this now. Jammers
weren't cool all around at all the same
time. Jammers. They're like, what are the
fucking... Talking about jams,
the Hawaiian shorts.
It would have been before your time
Well, yeah, I'm saying Jammers were like the
Kind of like the
Isn't that what they were called Jammers?
They were like the
MC Hammer Pants a little bit
Like something a chef would wear
You know what I mean?
Like a Dallas Cowboys fucking
Called him Z. Cavaricies back in the day.
No, they were jeans.
Now Zee Kavarichi had pants.
Let me get eyes on this real quick.
My buddy's Blair and Rodney used to where
they used to share the same pair
to show up every day looking like a backup dancer
I can't touch us
No, they're not jammers
Zubaz
How do you spell that?
Z-U-B-A-Z
That's not how you're saying
I don't think
I thought it
Zubis
You said it like an alien or rich kid
Zubad
That's how they said it on the league
I remember that was a big
Yeah these things
Remember then
They were like football teams
I thought they were called
Zuma's or something like that
Zumbas
Zumbas
Zubes
I can't remember
Anyway
That was my day, though
I know, hold on, I'm just saying
Are you kids wearing them?
There was left over
Yeah, those things
At school?
I want to say we had a pair of Buffalo Billswell's
We had, we never had eagle shit
We had
Whatever the fuck you get your hands on
My dad came home from a road trip one time
With an old Dominion sweatshirt
And a West Virginia sweatshirt
And I was like, what the fuck do you want me to do with this?
I didn't get school, get my fucking ass
old dominion
it's actually great school
shout out to old dominion
but uh
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I'm just saying that was like, they know what's cool across the country now.
Back then, nobody knew that.
It was like, this is what the kids at this school at this time are wearing.
That might be popular throughout the country, but it was never like this stuff's cool.
And then I feel like now stuff gets very not cool, very quick.
Yeah, like that lettuce head.
Kids are still rocking at
Are they still rocking it?
Cool
Cool
I'm growing my back
This just didn't
Stop
All right
Let's see
This one's just funny
This from Aiden
$10 Foleyville citizen
Are you garbage
If you slept with a lighter
In your pocket
A hundred times
Thousands of times
Yeah
That's kind of
I always
That in the washing machine
You wouldn't hear it
Until it got to the dryer
I was sick
Whatever two weeks ago
I washed a bunch of holes
cough drop. They were all in my
fucking in a pocket
of like a bear basketball shorts
or something. And damn
dude, they were all fucking halfway
sucked. You know what I mean? Because it got the
wrapper off in the water
and then just
luckily it didn't dry on any clothes.
There was one melted in a pocket
that I had to
buy a flavor.
The cherry, like the red.
Yeah. Is it what you do with cherry?
Yeah. They got the best hit.
I remember my sister having them as a kid. I'm like,
What the fuck?
You a coal miner?
Is this fucking, we're trying to cure your fucking black lung with these things?
I'm a Ludens, man, ruined.
Like a gentleman.
Man, Luden's lemons.
Woo!
Then they had the honey for a little while.
We were a cherry fan.
Of course, Kevin.
You got to bend with the trends.
I would be sick on, whatever, say, Tuesday.
I want to take them to school on Wednesday, really flex.
and they never lasted they never made it they never made it out of Tuesday they
never made it out of the car I was in the back you gotta have the small pack though
you couldn't have the big ones I didn't even know the big ones they were
probably just pop it when you were a kid yeah they looked like halls you gotta get
the little bangers in the wax yeah the wax paper cool because they had they kept
blue magic in call it fuck call it blue dog shit I don't get a fuck man walking
around school with that ain't like handing out fucking school buses like straightin everybody
Yeah, everyone's all fucked up by lunch
Walking into a bar like
Jimmy Conway
Everybody gets a hundred
They didn't make it
Just walking around with an empty box
I got a roll up in my sleep
All right, let's see here
This one's from Kyle
$10-dollar bozo spelled bozo wrong
Virgin never have one read
Gave a buddy a ride home from work a while
back
He was planning on paying me for gas money
Asked me not to run the AC to save on gas
Because he was so jammed up
Wait, wait, what?
His car
It'd be like me giving you a ride home
And me saying don't run the...
Me going, me go and give me $10 for gas
To get you home and him going
You go, I'll give you five and no ACs.
These guys cutting deals at the table.
Holy shit.
Listen, let's do windows down no room.
Brady, I'll give you $7.50.
And here's a heater.
Ooh, that'll sweeten the deal.
Sweeten the deal.
There was nothing like smoking heaters at an age when like you couldn't.
Not luckily, as a young dirtbag who was heavy in the heaters, we all, we, there was
an Exxon in our town, shout out to Mohammed, would sell us heaters.
We always suspected there was a little 9-11 connection, and that's why he was making
good by giving us heaters if we kept our mouth shut.
That's what one of the older kids told us.
Was this after 9-11?
Yeah.
He said, you better fucking play ball and give us these heaters.
The FBI drags you for questioning.
Ahmed, good guy.
One of the local dirtbags told us that.
And then he got caught stealing patch change jar.
Man, we used to hang out with...
How did he get into his house?
They were boys.
I think he...
Pat's dad listens.
I think he snuck in through a window.
Nice.
And went down.
There were so many dirtbags that we hung out with that then stole...
I mean, they were like ticks.
That was when the pills hit.
And these kids would...
Fucking faces all sunk, and they look like goblins.
And, I mean, all my friends are doing drugs.
I'm not cast in shape.
But these kids were, like, addicts at, like, 13.
I remember I watched one kid put, it was the first time we had a good, not a goulash.
What are those beers with the fucking funky tops?
Golsh.
He had a gulsh.
We went over this.
Maybe it's not gulsh, but I know what you're talking about.
I think it's gulsh.
He had a-
Like a Bex, you're talking about?
No, but it was a green bottle.
I didn't trust that shit until I was a much older.
Fucking, I don't want to fuck Holland.
Why drinking that shit?
That's how they get you.
Now that I was older.
I fell in love with it.
I was an Irish part in Sunnyside where I would go.
This is my saddesty years.
I was living in sunny side about my...
Like the ones now are so great.
Worst summer ever.
Probably the other day said worst summer ever.
He's 50.
I got mad.
Someone forgot my birthday.
No, I started going to this Irish bar and I would get a beck's and a steak sandwich.
And I'd go to the movies by myself.
You were really doing it.
But this one kid, it was daytime.
That's what always was the blatantness of it.
It was daytime.
I don't, I, we might have just been driving or some of us were driving and we show up to this girl's house.
Their parents are gone for the night or something.
This is daytime.
Like, oh, so we're going to probably, somebody's going to buy pills or something.
There was going to buy weed or something.
If that shit was big, if that hit when we were in high school, I think we all would.
would have been we all would have died a lot of my
a lot of my friends did not crazy yeah yeah yeah and the ones that did
are a little tattered sure did not stop at percocet i'll tell you that much i'm talking
blue magic how you doing uh but we showed up for like a minute we like stopped out
of this girl's house and that kid was there and we and he like yeah fucking dude it was like
the dead of summer and he was translucent like he hadn't seen like he
hadn't seen sunshine he was the deadest summer what do you mean it was like the middle of summer
like this motherfucker should have had a tan or something he came out with like a sweater on and we were
like i want to be like dude get it together you know what i mean like what the fuck
it's all right man ted was always to the left what's ah dude he's fucking sunken in i like
gallum you a well-nourished fellow i'm picking a piece of
butter finger out of my mouth.
Your mom didn't leave your pizza money
or not, dude?
Hey, you snorted it.
He walked out.
We were, like, parked out front.
It was like, there was a group of people already like, hey, stop by.
They'd be like, Luke being like, hey, I'll sell you an eighth.
Stop by.
Foley's here.
And like, oh, we just, you know, we're out front, like, chilled, smoke a Sieg.
It was just like a five-minute fucking lollygag.
And he walked out.
We were young.
We were young.
his house no he was at this girl's house whatever he was at the house we were showing up to
and he walked out like gee oh what's up hey god damn get under eight lambers look like a you look
like a preemie fucking coming out here like a baby chick you're like a baby chick
you're fucking eyes closed this guy what the fucking lick in your leg
Somebody get an eyedropper to feed this kid me.
But he had a big gulsh.
A big one, like a fucking, one of them leader jobs.
Like, I ain't never seen a European beard like that, let alone with hinges on it.
Did it have a nipple on it?
I wouldn't be like, how's the fuck you get here?
Who'd you steal that from?
You ain't never been to Amsterdam.
I'll be like, there's no way you bought that.
It was a known thief.
Just a known, sticky-fingered fucking rat.
Addiction of supply.
Dude, we were so young for him to be addicted to pills.
Like, so young.
Like, 15, 14, 15.
And I said, dude, he had a big gold shake.
Took a sip and then dropped green pills in there.
This is daytime in this, like, you know, the suburbs.
You know what I mean?
There's, like, kids, like, shooting.
Could have been those hydrogen things.
if Gary Brecky uses.
He's doing methylated vitamin.
And I'll bring the color back.
Some of that iodine blue, what's it called?
The kids are on?
I don't know.
I remember being like, dude, you are way too brazen.
I wonder if he's a lot.
We were just talking about him this weekend.
Doubtful.
Dropping pills and beer?
You, we were.
He might have been fifth.
He might have been.
We were.
young like and dude this is daytime like a summer afternoon and we were out in the street it'd be
like walking out of your parents house and a bunch of fucking 12 to 14 year olds are out front
and he's there i mean the the beer was bigger than him and he's just like i'm gonna be like
this kid is fucked i'm gonna start studying i'm gonna go back to school i'm gonna tell my mom i'm sorry
moments when you were a kid, when you realize you weren't about that life?
Yeah.
You got your ass home before dinner and fucking sat there and had a fucking nice meal.
Not going back to that neighborhood again.
There was about six of those dudes we used to hang out at a young age where you're like,
I remember this one time this kid stole again, if we're hanging out was just such.
Because we're hanging out with kids who were like, we were bad kids, good head on our shoulders,
bad kid like sure mischievi is drinking smoking pro trying drugs too young
bad kids advantage bad kids no bad kids are fucking stealing hurting people we were bad
burning frogs but we were bad kids did good kids sure not that we were bad kids but like you
and your buddies wouldn't want my kid hanging out with me and my friends i know but you guys
wouldn't start stomping on some old lady walking down the street that's a bad kid we're
not in the fucking outside it's crazy it doesn't sleep it hurt anybody no no
Well, they were looking for it.
But I remember this kid stole, broke into another friend's house, stole a bunch of weed.
This kid, the kid with the galsh?
Another kid.
Man, you had a lot of fucking, man, we were so.
A lot of zombies.
That's the kid that took seven tommies and fell through the chip dial.
And they beat the shit out of this kid the next deck.
He knew it was him.
So the kid who got robbed went and beat, like, you know, was like, you.
And dude, he's like, you stole.
And he's like, yeah, man.
And he just, like, beat this shit.
I'm just, like, looked at him.
And I was just like, man, this kid's just willing to get his ass kicked and go,
I'm going to keep this weed and this money.
I don't give them fuck with you.
Like, a kid that's going, I'm willing just to get my ass kicked.
What I got.
I'm sitting on like, probably $800 worth of weed or whatever,
so you can suck my dick.
I remember being like, that kid's about that life,
just willing to get a rag dolled in front of everybody.
You went home in time for some stoft.
Dude, I got home.
I was like, yo, I am sorry.
Went home, cleaned your room, did inventory of your toys, went downstairs for a little raceruny.
Watching TV with my pop.
Hey, what are you watching, Dad?
Some quality time.
Anything good in the paper?
Yeah, there's a good amount of those kids.
We were just like, didn't.
Those kids did not stand the chance.
Did not stand the chance.
But those are the kids that lived.
Yeah
They're like
You know
Cockroaches
You just can't
We bumped into the one kid
On South Street
Remember
When the fuck were you guys
He was like what's up Kevin
Oh God
It was after we got the shoes
It uh
Sneaker suplex
Was he cool
Was he all straightened out
No
He was on South Street
I couldn't be working on it
Yeah
Remember that kid
I always kind of walk away from those
I was like
Oh whoa
He's got a camera in my face
I know.
How much one for that camera?
Yeah.
Wow.
Wow.
I don't even know how the fuck we got there.
All right.
Let's see here.
That was the pain for paying for gas.
What a fucking home run of a question.
I was buying SIGs.
But we always had access to SIGs.
So we never had to really concede for heaters.
Sure.
You know what I mean?
It was like you get all.
And they were.
still cheap at the time for us as a teenager they were under five bucks so it's like you
could get your hands on ours are like 225 yeah we you could get your hands between change and like
lunch money or whatever like if i had five bucks for launch i go oh i'll just you know i'll skip
lunch and i got a pack of heaters you know or saved like a dollar two dollars this day whatever
whatever we were always we were always very good about the ride we never really had to beg
anybody for a ride home that was always you know yeah of course
Fucking loop around.
Give you a right home.
Yeah, we loved it because there was never much going on.
And we were big chill.
Driving?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We were big chill smokasig guys.
Like we used to go over my boy's house.
Yeah.
That was like during the week, if you're like, yeah, I only got like 15 minutes.
But like I don't feel like going home or whatever.
Stop by chill smoke a sick.
Pull up out front.
Oh, stop.
He's selling weed.
I just sit and sell weed with them.
Sure.
Good times.
Plausible deniability.
I'm here for a heater.
Check to that.
attacks.
Says right there, officer.
I had no idea.
He was trafficking narcotic.
Trafficking's a strong word.
This one's from Tudy's anal beads.
Are you garbage?
If you keep the tags on your DXL suit to return it if you don't get this job.
I'm currently waiting on a virtual interview to start in a full suit without removing the tags just in case.
I'm jammed the fuck up over here.
But if I get this position, I'll be upgraded my subscription because I have some of that good old cashie.
My man. Shout out to you. I hope you get the job. Right in and let us know.
But that's not, especially a virtual one, that's like you didn't even wear it. It's one thing
if you put it on, you get in your car, you have lunch, you sweat, you wrinkle it up.
I wouldn't even have the pants on during that interview. But I've heard sometimes
they ask you to stand up. Do they? Yeah. Really? I've seen it before. Just to go like, let's
see how committed you are. It became a thing because it was such a bit on Zoom during COVID.
of, like, people wearing, like, the up-top business
and then down below just, yeah, whatever.
Back it up and dump it.
Let me see, let me see what you're working.
Let me see what you got downstairs.
Yeah, like, six months, I, like, one of my buddies got got,
but, like, he was wearing a full suit, and they asked him to stand up.
That's the fuck.
I, listen, I, I don't condone it, but I get it.
It's like, you can't put a pair of pants on for a goddamn job interview?
I'm going to stand up.
Blur them.
Real small blur.
Hey.
rude just saying um uh all right this one's from nothing on that ten dollar executive director never have one read ever used your freshly removed boxers to give your bedroom a dust before they hit the linen basket oh yeah that's bit yeah oh yeah oh yeah towels underwear anything if it's going in a laundry basket it's a rag i'm a big uh they my dirty clothes tend to be used as excess
bath mats for me.
Like that gets, I get to you, I have typically, not my pants because I wear my pants
57 days in a row, but my underwear and my t-shirt.
Also, I find it psychotic if you're in your home and you wear your pants into the bathroom
to get a shower.
I do that sometimes.
That's so insane to me.
Yeah, I do it sometimes.
You're getting like fully undressed in the bathroom is, I mean, maybe if you got a pair of, if you're
like lounge, you got a pair of basketball shorts on, even those, like, I do a
pre-dress, pre-undress in the bedroom.
Sometimes I'll hang a pair of basketball shorts in the bathroom.
I'll turn the water on.
Like, say, I get home from a late spot.
That's a little different because you're trying to keep it low.
That's a little, but I'll give you that.
I'll do that.
I got to do some business in there.
You know what I mean?
I'll get undressed in there.
I'll give you that.
That's the only time I'll do it as well.
Because I can get in there, I can close the door and then, like,
because it's always weird seeing your jeans hanging on the back of that bed.
I'm doing in the morning.
Your wallet and keys in it?
I never know where they are the next day.
What are you, a cop?
I feel like I've been robbed.
I'm like, babe, have you seen my...
Because we don't, like, really close that.
It's like the door that pushes against the wall.
You don't see it.
Sure.
But, yeah, I mean, or I'll just do it in the living room as well.
Throw them on the desk.
Because those key, dude, you come in.
You're trying to sneak in at night.
You got the keys.
You got, like, a couple of quarters or something, you know?
Or just whatever.
You got, I got a pen.
I got a notebook, a wallet.
Fucking, you know.
Padging gun.
badge.
You jam the fuck up.
All right, let's see here.
This one's from Renla, $10 reformed at Bozo, never had one read.
I know it's garbage, but we only have a few working light bulbs in the house.
Good Lord.
So instead of buying more, we just unscrew them and move them when we need light.
Damn.
Jesus.
Grab a pack.
What do you get?
How much is a pack?
What's a two pack of light bulbs going for?
It's not that.
I know it's just lazy.
It's just, you just don't do it.
I mean, but if you're now, after, I listen, I get being in a pinch and going,
I want to go in this room and there's no light and unscrewing it from a light and moving.
Once you get into that, once you get into that habit, it's, oh, no, what I'm saying, once you get into that habit, it's acceptable.
It's the same thing as the remote with the, with the Scotch tape on the back or the remote that doesn't quite work.
That's completely, dude, scotch tape on the back of a remote is completely different than unscreen light bulb.
Or if you have to pop the batteries out, put them back in, the one button doesn't work.
You get used to shit.
I'm not saying you don't, but that's real passive.
You're sitting there doing the, unscruing and screwing light bulbs in.
Six, seven bucks get you out of that jam.
Six, seven?
It's a lot.
A pack of bulbs?
You know what's great?
The bodegas in New York, you can just go and be like, let me get a light bulb and they just take one out of the pack.
It's like a dollar, you know, maybe two bucks.
Yeah.
I'll give you that.
What was big always, and I, because I just did this the other day, I had to change one in the, in the hallway.
I'm bad at changing light bulbs
But I had to change one
If there's I'm big on
If the hall light goes out
I'm now using the bathroom light
You know what I mean
I'll use another room's light
Oh yeah
To like
Especially gotta go up there with the dead mosquitoes
And spiders and dust
Yeah I find a ladder
I got a step stool
But even growing up
This was like my mom hey
I remember screaming
And this was like a big thing of like
We never
threw the light bulb the bad light bulb out because we were like the glare you'll break you'll get
her or something honey that's how you get cut so we'd put it back in the bot like that box yeah and then
throw them out all together i know and you couldn't figure out which one was busted you had to shake it
if you could hear the i learned that like a at age five how to read a filament i'm like this is
what are we doing here that was always the best hey it's burnt it's burnt i think i might be a little
left on that one you know i learned that from an episode of
God, was it
Quantum Leap or something? No, there used
to be another show that was a time travel
show in the 80s.
And the guy went to
Who invented the light pole? Was it Thomas Edison?
Thomas Jefferson.
And the kid could time travel.
It was a kid in an adult that could time travel
and the kid uses little hands to make the filament
and that's what made it work.
His little small fingers.
That's where I learned that.
I can't remember the name of the show.
It was a very popular
Fuck you
What?
That's where I learned that
I was going to say he was a popular
Young TV star
He currently black air
I can't remember
Jack Wagner
No
Right at the same time
I can't remember his name
Can't remember the name of the show either
You got nothing
I got nothing
A kid on a show
That was about time travel
In the 80s
Give me a gog
All right
Those eco light bulbs scared us
Remember the curly ones
And like they said there was gas
If you broke one of them
Oh, yeah.
Those things came out.
You don't remember like the...
They were fancy.
Yeah, but I'm saying...
None of them were ever in Patty's house.
We got one now.
I don't know.
I guess my wife bought it or I bought it or something.
I've like just ordered light bulbs.
Dude, this thing.
It's like you're in the O-R.
You turn it on.
It's like...
What about the ones that are half wiffle ball?
It's not all bulb?
What's half wiffle ball?
It's like plastic on the bottom.
You never seen it?
Oh, yeah.
I don't know what's going on.
I just going to melt.
Oh, that's like putting bad Tupperware in a fucking in a dishwasher.
That filament will get you.
What do you got?
Voyagers?
Yes.
That was it.
Was there a little kid?
Yeah.
Curly hair?
Yeah.
Handsome dude.
I like you the attitude.
I don't know it either.
Yeah, Voyagers.
Mino Palousei.
French, something.
Good show.
Time travel.
Sure.
All right, let's see.
We got time for one more here.
This one's from Silent Dinner Veteran.
Long time, I don't know if I get that.
Longtime listener, oh, silent dinners.
No one's talking.
Attention.
A veteran of silent dinners.
He survived.
Deep cut.
That's all right.
Although we had less.
I didn't have many of them because they were already divorced.
Sure.
So it's like they're with, they were each with new people.
So it's like that tension of like.
Couldn't get them shut up.
A bunch of young love.
There was.
When I was in my 20s, they were, it was, hell, tense.
For me, my stepdad.
Plenty of Sunday night dinners after my dad cooked all day.
And there was some, there was always a fight on Sundays, always, always.
And then a quiet dinner and then things would loosen up.
Somebody had to break something.
Yeah.
Sometimes it didn't.
Sometimes it went into the morning.
Unresolved.
Voyagers, huh?
Issue.
That's when I turn to voyagers.
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la i'm a time traveler.
Long time recent homie first time never had one read is it trash to have a sign seating in the living room my brother when I would get into fights.
Oh yeah.
If one of us sat in the other person's spot on the couch.
I feel it we never had a spot.
Sure.
Your mom had a spot, kind of.
I don't know.
I, she was never.
I always lay there.
I always sit there.
There was better spots.
I guess we would defer maybe.
My parents were only only only watched a couple of things together.
And that was for a brief period of time.
I think when we left the house.
That was early 2000s.
Real sex.
Huh?
What?
Ice road truckers, fucking the Osbournes, all that stuff.
They watched all that shit.
That's when they were watching TV.
together but in the 80s and 90s
maybe it was married with children
that we'd all watch together
me and my mom in the 80s watch TV all the time together at night
mash moonlighting
dynasty Dallas crushed it
I can't I remember watching I remember when
fucking who wants to be a millionaire hit
that was like the first season of American Idol
especially because there's a Philly Roots
or he was from like Redding or something sure
But I don't think anything
I mean
When she was working third shift
To the hospital
She'd get home and watch
One of the late shows
Designing women
No
Like Kimmel or something
Or whatever
She'd float through
Whatever was on
Down there you happen
She was she fucking get done it
But you know
She'd get home at midnight
Catch the end of
Letterman or something
You have to be back at work
Three the next there
Whatever it is
Three to 11 I think is
A third shift
You kids were running around the house
I was a little old
at that point but eating raviolis yeah well yeah I mean I was driving at that point
I think can't remember I was hanging out with the fucking gallum the pill head my mom's at work I
got fucking open crib that's all right steal my change jar yeah weekends too now no weekends
maybe like Sunday to I whatever about Friday night would you be out for what she'd be working
Friday night I don't remember no checks
I don't remember.
You would have to have people over.
My stepdad was my stepdad and my brother.
I mean, like, it wasn't like empty house.
You'd be floating around, huh?
Yeah, he'd be fucking.
You'd keep them too quiet.
What?
You'd two go upstairs and hang out.
Some chicks coming over.
Who, did I say that to?
My stepdad and my sister?
Your brother.
Yeah, that's what they want to hear.
Hey, you guys shut the fuck up and go upstairs.
What'd they call?
I could have some drug addicts come over and go through our personal belongings.
We've got to wrap it up.
gang we love you to death back on the block tour get your techies we're coming out this first run
uh second show it's in cobs in san francisco we got seattle we got portland and low tickets i believe
at braya improv outside the walls i'm hollies gang we love you we'll see you next week peace peace