Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Greg Stone Returns!

Episode Date: March 21, 2024

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast presents stand up comedian and podcast host Greg Stone! You know Mr. Stone from stand up comedy, his show Friday Night Greg, The Tim Dillon Show, Stuff Island, and so much more! Make sure to check out his new special "Nobody Presents Greg Stone"! Thanks for watching Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast. Come to a live show! Through the Roof Tour Tickets: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Blue Chew: https://bluechew.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Hachi Maci, the 2024 Through the Roof Tour is about to launch, baby. Come out and see the boys at the stand-up comedy show, and then we answer your garbage questions. You've seen the clips, you know it's a good time. Grab the squad and come see the boys, baby. Yeah, it starts April 17th in Charlotte, North Carolina. Then April 18th, we're going to Nashville, Tennessee. April 19th in Tampa, Florida at the Tampa Theater.

April 20th at the Center Stage Theater in Atlanta, Georgia. Get all those tickets and tickets for all the other cities on the Through the Roof Tour at rugarbage.com. Not so fast there, gang. Shout out to Mint Mobile real quick. You're already paying for rent for groceries, gas or electric. You don't need to spend a ton on your phone bill. Mint Mobile has you covered with plans for just 15 bucks a month when you purchase a three month plan. It sounds too good to be true, but it's real.

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$15 a month, go to MintMobile.com slash garbage. That's MintMobile.com slash garbage. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at MintMobile.com slash garbage. Additional taxes and fees and restrictions apply. See MintMobile for details. Now let's get to the show. Welcome to another exciting edition of R U Garbage. The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are

classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a group to be classy.

Yeah. We're up to just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties in a new edition. She's upstairs shaking off the weekend a little bit. Okay. Couple of aspirin, little liquid IV, trying to get her head on straight in a bowl of chili for some reason

Gotta clean clean her out. My co-host is coming at you right next to me. He is the CEO of are you garbage? He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan everybody what up gang? Thanks for pal. Thanks for tuning in as always Please make sure you rate you subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are shrewd arouf cookin And obviously the greatest website of all time WWW.patreon.com Are you garbage go over there you sign up you get up to two bajillion hours worth of content over there Yes, you do make sure you go to are you garbage comm to get all your tour tickets?

Oh for the true to roof tour 2024 baby. We're coming everywhere. And how about a nice shout out to our producer, Extraordinaire, the Magic Man makes us all look good. Works the ones, the twos, the threes, and the fours. He crosses the T's and he dots the I's. It's T-Bone McScruffins, Toby McMullen, everybody. How you doing, boys? What up, T-Bone? We have an all-time silly goose.

We got a pal in here. Oh, good time. It's just a fun, a guy walks in and you say, ooh, I'm about to have some fun. Lives in a neighborhood, stops by, knocks on the back door, come in, have a cup of coffee, sit down, shoot the shit a little bit. That's right.

That's right. Gang, the long hair ain't lying. We couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest, back with us again today. He is an extremely funny stand-up comedian a podcaster You can hear him every week on his amazing podcast Friday night Greg, and he's got a brand new Comedy special out right now on his YouTube page. Nobody presents Greg Stone. Give it up for the one the only Greg Stone everybody

Detective Greg Stone with that outfit on But seriously who let the dogs? My dog I hit by a fucking car and no one will know who let my fucking dog out. Thanks for having me boys I like radio voice Tobe great to see you I love seeing you now me too. I got a special guest who might be popping in I don't want to spoil it, but maybe maybe we'll see him in a little bit. Okay. Okay. I've never been more nervous Who do you owe money to I got 200 bucks. It's a puppet. It's gonna be good

I wish now it's a friend is my big daddy vapes good guy. He comes in big daddy big daddy vapes Okay, we'll see maybe we'll see how you guys doing. We're doing good Did you ever have a dog get hit like that or anything like that? When you were a kid? Oh my god, I did. You did? I kind of wasn't thinking about it until you just said it Thanks for bringing that up. He brought it up. You made it real Rusty no, it wasn't rusty rusty didn't go out like that Rusty died on the Arizona. What are you talking about? We had a dog my step We had these we had these dogs and every time one would die,

my stepfather would immediately replace it with the exact dog. Love it. And so all of the dogs- I think that's what you gotta do, right? Yeah. To not feel the pain. He never felt anything.

Yeah, that's not good. When Willie, I don't want him touching you. But Willie, when Willie was ready to go, I was going to school, I must have been seven years old. Willie, sounds like your younger brother or something. These are all names from guys. He knows that the dog Then there was Bilbo There was there was Cleveland. He was from Texas Willie owned an auto body shop. Okay I don't why we think the story's way too dark my stepfather goes

I was like I'd see you George go to school whatever and he goes see ya say goodbye to Willie and I went bye Willie He goes I'm putting them down today That was it. He just said say goodbye like that like what the fuck it also sounds like he made this decision on his own without Like running it by the family Now I can't talk to you till I give you the press okay, you know you know fully We're on the same page with things we are and I have this storage Full of toys and I'm like come I gotta bring a little something for Foley and I got some I gotta say Toby though I completely forgot you existed

I love you man the truth hurts sometimes I thought they were pushing the buttons themselves I gave you a goddamn hug when you walked in I couldn't be, I just, I got something in my bag. I gave you a god damn hug when you walked in. I couldn't have been happier to see it. I've never felt more warmth in my life. He called you Tony. But I mean, I don't know what happened. I just walked in, I'm like, oh motherfucker,

you didn't bring presents for the nephew. Anyway, I got a present, this is very exciting for me because I like to bring prezzies. This was from my storage space. My wife's got me selling stuff now, I'm getting rid of stuff. It's rusty It's a stuffed Willie it's a gum and those what's that my friend is a Mezco Destro this is a high-end okay one 12 figure

premium action figure In the bag I accidentally bought 13 of them. I remember that I remember here in stores like yeah I bought four I want that I want a bit. I won 47 bids on the same thing So we got too many so one goes to you and listen keep you I know Little kippy. Yeah better be back in there for me You open that thing you're gonna be like this is on fucking believe as long as I weed what uh Okay, yes is nice. We'll put this up... he's put together already? Yeah.

I thought you were going to hand me a model. So many accessories though. Okay. Open that thing up. You want me to open it up now? I mean, I don't know if it's good for the podcast, but it's good for me. No, what the hell? I'll open it up.

So many... And there's a little... There's a little package in there. Silica, don't eat that. It'll kill you. It'll kill you dead. Hey, don't snort that fat boy. He's all right.

That was a great Kevin James bit. He goes, who buys a radio? And it goes, oh, cool gum. Now you. Oh, it's a good looking Destro. Dude, it's got full clothing, lots of hands. Lots of hands. He's got a number one hand you can do.

He points at the boys. Okay. Just go get them. There you go. Look at that That's a high quality premium. Beautiful. I just bent on it. You know, I love GE. Oh, this is nice. Whoa, that's covered Yeah, wow, these are actual clothes. Yeah, he's got a piece on him, too This is a thing that you hand on to your children now. I know you're not in action figures So I brought you a little something. I think that you could enjoy. Okay. Chicken fingers. What are they, a bag of cigarettes? And I understand you like Marlboro's.

These are the gold. These are the Marlboro Lights Gold. Why are they not in a pack? Because I had to buy them loose so that he wouldn't sell me the package. Wait, you... Are you serious? Individually.

You bought a pack of Lucy's? Oh yeah, $3 each. It's a $70,000 pack of Sig you got here. And I ate the apples out of that bag so they had an apple taste to them. Wow. Yeah. Thank you very much. I mean I feel a little homeless at the moment. Those are getting thrown out. No they're brand new. I still got the... yeah I don't want to ruin the bit. I mean I still got the box. If you want to return them. Return you want to return them. Return them? You get a gift receipt?

It's just up for you. You can take them back. I don't know. Oh, that's a good bit. Oh, I thought you were going to pull out a receipt. Genuinely. But you still have them in the marbles, right? Oh, yeah. Stoney, I appreciate it. You know, on the low, Uncle Hank loves his toys. He loves his cartoons. Me and Stoney have a strong connection with it

Yeah, you gave me my Superman my Christopher. I think it was mezzo company. Yeah, yeah, they do a really good job He'll be up on the set very soon, that's a good one. Yeah Anyone want to give you that thing but the idea And you actually have it's a studio of a storage unit now Yeah, yeah, I got a storage unit too. We got problems. Man, when you die and that thing defaults and they're doing storage wars and they open up that thing.

Holy shit. So my kids every year. The richest nine-year-old ever. Every year for my birthday, my plan is I go, for your birthday, we go to the storage unit, you pick one thing. And they can just rifle through it. You know what I mean? It's pretty good.

That's pretty weird. Yeah, I just thought the idea of I would be mad. What? Yeah, dad, you're holding out on me. Got all these toys here. You're like Essex County, New Jersey to get a used toy. Yeah, that's not gonna look good. Dad, why don't we go play football or something? Especially if you're dressed like that bringing a little kid out to a storage unit. Yeah, come to my my box come into the metal room Yeah, no, you know he's walking out with one toy and tight lips

Word that's a fun bit to do with my children Anyway Where you from all right cool half a second it's silence and he's starting smoking one of the cigarettes this has to go well for me but hope I didn't forget about you yes I got you a USBC......charging block. European charger. That says Greg on it. That I'm gonna need to borrow. That's memorabilia right there.

I'm gonna need that back. I can't believe you forgot about me after that war we fought in. I know. I didn't forget about you. I just forgot about you. Forgot about you. For on-air purposes. Can I tell you what happened?

I got a garbage story for you. Please existed. For on-air purposes, you're saying. Can I tell you what happened? I got a garbage story for you. Please. Unless you have something lined up. And please do not talk about how part of my mustache is missing. I also know.

I did notice that. What is happening? I don't know. I don't know. It might be some kind of weird. He was on the business end of one of them cigs. I don't know. I feel like I'm going to go to the doctor

and they'd be like, oh, this is the rarest sign of a tumor. Wait, what is that? That's not a misshave? I went to a haircut place. So here's the thing. I went to a haircut place, $20, you know, very cheap. And I went, hey, all right. And then he clipped my stash. Oh, yeah. I was like, okay. No, no, no, no, no. But then my beard grew and I shaved the beard and this part's still missing. So I don't know what's happening because it should be even now. Now I gotta see a doctor. Sid, you look crazy now. I feel crazy. I kind of because it should be even now now. I gotta see a doctor. Did you look crazy? Feel crazy. I kind of want to give you the toy back

Don't smoke those things. No way. Oh, I don't know you get wet Yeah, I don't know you got a let me see that my face would you go clean shaven yeah, but then I have so much skin It's the worst. Yeah, you know, my face comes out and it's like, yeah, I look like a molo, a Momo. Yeah, you know what I mean? I'm bad too with it, man. I would never, I just trimmed this because he was saying that below here was too long, but I would never, it would take so much for me to do put an actual razor to my face. Yeah, it is not good. But back then we used to, I used to get the mouthwash every day, every week.

Yeah, and I just live. Yeah.. It's like it's like it's so much. It's so much better with the beard I always had that thing though when I was a kid if you were a beard guy There was only a few dudes that had beards when I was a kid with a bit There was no beards in my fat only a lot of mustache guys Yeah, it was like one or two of my dad's buddies that had one. I always felt like they were swingers Yeah, they didn't have they didn't have kids. Yeah, they were married to some lady named Marlene or something like that He drove a Corvette wore jewelry of yeah Did cheetahs you go over to their house like during the week for dinner every once in a while?

I'm like, yeah beards are no bueno. Yeah. Yeah But yeah, you gotta I think you. I gotta talk to somebody about this. You gotta just, you gotta go to Rogan. I gotta get one inch of Rogan just for this little piece. Can we do that? Wait, do you think that's what it is or you think he just, I think he clipped you and you didn't realize. But look, what's happening here? It looks crazy. Yeah, no, there is a lack of growth. You got half a Hitler dude. Yeah, I could buy it like just pop it in You got the reverse hit get a mercant. I got a hit with mustache. It's not what you think I got a hole. I gotta put the I gotta fill the hole. Yeah, it's no good. Maybe I'll try to shave tonight I don't know By the Greg no really say goodbye See you soon soon willy did you get a new Willie yeah no so it was Willie

Bucky was the one that got hit by a car Bucky was that's what we were talking about yeah and he flew out he got hit by a car my stepfather brought him back remember when Superman was holding one one supergirl and he was like in like Infinity Crisis, some comic book bullshit, I don't remember what it was. He carried the dog back and we all cried and he went, no time for tears. And he buried him in the backyard. Sounds like a bit of a hard ass, no?

Yeah, no, my stepfather has a psychic. Yeah, we've talked about him. I know, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he told me when I was very young, you know, he made me get in trouble, he says, I don't ever wanna see you on the other end of my gun. That's what he said. Said you could just not shoot me, pal.

How about that? He could just not shoot a nine-year-old, you'll be all right. What the hell? Wild man. Can you check on those pizza rolls? Ha ha ha ha ha. We had Fluffy got hit by a car.

Getting put to sleep's different. When it and put the sleeves different when it happened suddenly That's when that's when the trauma sets in yeah We have fluffy get tagged all ours ended up at the farm for you know they yeah We had baby had a gaggle of bad dogs But the farm they went and put out that bullshit. Oh my god. We're taking them to the farm which you know it is I was they were bad dog. No they were just older and stuff like that Oh, like they I mean like we just had a you know through the 80s and 90s there was just wait are you telling me that when they

say they're bringing the dog to the farm that they're putting them down yeah farm it's not a state penitentiary I thought that for the longest like it's like hacky but I thought that for the longest time now sounds nice mine went to the remember yeah I was old enough to like call my brother and be like yeah have you put this shit together yet like something's up patches done patches yeah it was patches and rusty my little patches is my mom just pulled the trigger on her where she takes a dog daycare it is a farm and she always thought that they took them in every night and like put them in like a barn

with like heated you like like the lie that they tell them in every night and like put them in like a barn with like heated You like like the lie that they tell you as a kid Yeah, I was like well now he's gonna be out at the farm and they have a big barn and all the everybody sleeps in there She wouldn't pick them up early last time The thought they had a rain the dogs were all soaked. Apparently the guy was just leaving them outside Shit abuse and they just went and they washed them Apparently the guy was just leaving them outside. Oh my god. Yeah dude. Do that? Oh shit. It's abuse.

And they washed them before the people get back. They give them a nice wash so they look all fresh. We don't take care of them at all. She was like, uh uh. Last five minutes. We blow dry them. Hands on deck. It's like everybody get here.

Give them a spot treatment. Your parents asked, you had a good time, alright? Shut up. Take this bag of cigarettes Don't tell anybody those cigarettes are good. By the way. Yeah, let's smoke. He's not gonna smoke them the smoke a bowl Yeah, I got too weird you handed me a loose bag. It's not gonna happen. That sounds like a setup where I can Yeah, what do you think's gonna happen? I don't know. It's never had arsenic You know cigarettes are $16. Yeah, I buy them every day. That's crazy. That was an expensive bit, by the way.

Yeah. I respect it. I mean, what sucks is, I mean, OK, jokes aside. How much is that Destro retail for, if you don't mind me asking? I'm not going to check eBay for you. Really? Yeah, no, I mean, retail.

I mean, I get a discount. $34? Why? Because I don't want to. You bought $40 a minute time? So I told them very early on that I do action figure reviews. Ah.

So because of that, I get this deep discount. I've never done a single fucking review in my life. Not a single fucking one. I respect the hustle, baby. They won't stop it, and I just keep going. I'll tell you this, hey, we're, hey, you like it. Have they ever asked to see? They've never asked.

Some of your work? They've never seen. I mean, sometimes I try to tell Hey! This is a big pie! Destro! Mezco! Buy a Mezco everyone! That's it, that's worth it. Right? There we go. Toby cut that. We start, I do a review with a Destro.

But that's probably like a hundred dollar figure. So you spent $1300? No, no, no. I got like three or four of them by accident. I said 13 for a bit. And when did she put the... because as our friendship has progressed the room in your... the back room in your apartment slowly became your showcase room. Yeah. And then it got a little excessive and I know you were saying your wife was putting her foot down. When did you have to pull have to pull the trigger on the on the storage unit?

When the child came, my wife said you can have three figures in the house. She said you get now she gave me this little shelf and she was like, that's your shelf, but the kids need a room. Sure. The kids go in that room now. But the kids in the storage unit. Yeah. So we had to take we just put everything in the storage unit. Wow. Yeah. And it's the of us there's a storage unit out there full of toys.

Full of toys. That's pretty cool. And I go in there and I just put everything in the storage unit. So it's like, yeah. And it's- So you have a storage unit out there full of toys. Full of toys. That's pretty cool. And I go in there and I just smile. You wait, do you go there sometimes? You just hang out? I just go in and I tell my wife, I'm like, I gotta go put some in the storage unit

and I open it up and I just go in there and I go. Really? And I open the guys up. Is it displayed at all? Or is it like, they're all in like, like- They're in bins, but I have one table. So I, with one chair and like a weirdo I sit at the satin I can see you serious. I love when the guy look at him and I go he's in the dark. There's no lights in there

How you doing friend, you know, it's been a while. So you can't live in here. You know that right? Yeah, so what I'm telling you guys is I really need you to watch my special. All right, we need this thing to cook I kind of live I gotta get my toys out. Nobody presents Greg Stone. One of the funniest. Yeah, one of my personal faves. Really? Yeah, what do you mean? We love you.

I know you love me, but you've always had our problems. Dude, he is on edge today. How many cups of coffee did you have? Knock knock, who's there? Bonerville, shout out to Bluechew. Gang, we all know you're great in bed. Not all of yous, but some of yous for sure. We're not questioning that, but if you could, you can be even better and that's where Bluechew comes in. It's a service that sends

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safety information and we thank BlueChu for sponsoring the show. Now I tell you this and I'm going to ruin the bit. I bought those cigarettes. I don't even know what bit we're in. Is there really somebody coming here? This ruin the bit. I bought those cigarettes. I don't even know what bit we're in. Is there really somebody coming here? This guy's throwing seven different kinds of stuff right now. Because I'm a little freaked out, I'm not gonna lie. I did, I bought those cigarettes fresh about three minutes ago,

and dumped them in a bag because a bag is funnier. It's Joe, 100%. So you can smoke them, they're good. Okay. I like how you didn't think that we picked up on that. Yeah. Like you were walking around gathering them. There was no apple, okay? I made up Willie. I don't know what to tell you. I was on the spot and I made up Willie. Yeah, you know.

Oh god. I just hate to see cigarettes go to waste. Although they'll be smoked. Yeah, I'll probably end up smoking them. Those could also be your homeless cigarettes. But was there an apple in there? There was an apple. See, that would ruin it for me. Why? I don't know why. You'll smoke it for me. Why? I don't know why. You'll smoke those for sure. I'll get jammed up. He's constantly jammed up.

Don't smoke half that pack this week. You should throw them out to a crowd like the Joker in the Batman movie. You know, just throw cigarettes to kids. Eat this one. Did that happen? I don't know. That was in the movie. I didn't see the movie.

I've been lying this whole time. I don't even like action figures I wanted to ask the both of you a question. I Kevin. I know you don't Stoney. Do you read it all? Not comic books. Do you read books? Once okay, let me rephrase that and this goes for everybody When was the last time you sat down and read something seriously? Yes third grade Should have been doing it way after that time you sat down and read something. Seriously? Yes. Third grade. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. You should have been doing it way after that, by the way.

No, I have dyslexia and ADHD and all that bullshit. So reading a book is very hard. So I try. I try to do audio books. But I start reading, and then I get distracted. The last book I read was a DMX autobiography written and told by Smokey D, some guy named Smokey D, which I powered through because I gotta read this DMX book.

But I didn't have anything to say. That's insane. It was very hard to read. I have a hard time reading. Because the reason I ask is we're trying to not do the phones at night and all that stuff, the radiation, the blue light, this, that. And I got handed a book the other night.

This is my book to read now. All right. Just she she wants me to read this book. It's like a fingers for the soul. Mark Twain's letters from Hawaii. And I started to read it. And I can't really read it. I swear to God, I don't know if you ever could if I'm being honest. I really like actually reading a book and I was reading it out loud and I sat with your friend. There once was a man in Hawaii. Dude I swear to god because I was

just trying to like get into the habit of it and I I was laying there, dude, I can't fucking read. I don't know what 60% of the words mean. Dude, imagine you're trying to sit down, get away from the phones, a little peace and quiet, and then it's Hank just going, what does incongruent mean? Dude, literally. What is table of continence?

And that's another question I had. You're calling them chapter books? That's another question I had. Do you read the stuff in the beginning? No, never. Is the intro ready to introduction? Get me to the fucking meat and potatoes. So you're allowed to skip all that stuff? These aren't federal laws.

I only know I'm only going to read four pages of this book anyway. I can't waste it on some guy being like, well, this is why Daryl was the greatest man I ever met. Yeah. What the introduction is. What is the intro? Forward.

Yeah. What is that? I believe the forward is typically from another person. Right. And it's like about the book or the project and the and the author as a person, just like give you some context on the person writing the book. I think.

All right. Sorry, because I always skip that. You should have to pay for that. It should not context on the person writing the book I thought all right sorry cuz I always skipped that you should have to pay for that They should not be in the price of the book. I agree. You know it should be an extra pamphlet Yeah, just get to the start of the goddamn story on yeah out of here Patron comm slash books everybody I've been reading to my kid lately and man It's embarrassing that's what I'm saying. He's too, but I'm like the dog went far The dog went far and it and like I'm missing words And I'm like because you just I just don't read fast is he old enough to be like what's the deal with this guy?

Yeah, he's like I read better than that Hell's wrong with his mustache I can't even read Man, you're freaking me out Hello, we in a storage unit Okay, all right that makes me feel a lot better, but it's how many pages you knocked down so far uh But two or three I think I got through one letter He was pulling up. It was A.

You're like, I'll take the letter. I'll take the radiation. That was funny. Yeah, no kidding. It's him pulling up to Honolulu, I think, on a steamship or something like that. It's actual letters that Mark Twain wrote. Yeah, I picked up on that.

Okay, which is crazy to sit down at the end of the night and be like, you know, I just pulled into whatever. Like, could you imagine us doing that? Writing a woman a letter? Not even writing a woman a letter, but like writing down things like that. Yeah, no, it's impossible. At the end of the day and like having it be like slightly poetic and good. Does that make sense? Yeah, but I mean like that's what you did. I mean, yeah, it's hard to think now, but like, I mean, you

essentially do that. If we have a show in Cleveland yet We fly to Cleveland and then you text your your lady. Hey, just got done with the show going a bit like, uh-huh Yeah, you just have to write it like a bozo. I mean you did this was these are like pages long To do my dearest Sophia and all that kind of stuff Really retaining it over here. I'm not, man. I couldn't tell you one thing. I swear, I always try reading,

and then I'm like five pages in, and I'm like, oh, I haven't been listening to myself. No. Like, I've been reading, but my brain has been in Hawaii. And it's so much setup. And I'm like, what the fuck, dude? You weren't listening to yourself at all that whole time?

I missed the whole thing? It's so much setup and so much description. I forget where the guy is. Yeah, just give me a book like, ah, she went to the store, she met a guy, the guy was great, they got married. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, that's what I want to hear. I did see something cool yesterday, though. I drove out to Jackson Heights to go to a hot pot place. This is more my kind of action. I saw the hooker. We were actually, we were at the Flushing Queens ago to a hop-hop place and we drove through Jackson Heights and

Man, I gotta tell you there's an overpass out there. That is chop shop alley. There's I know it Yeah it's just burnt cars all the way down the line under under the highway and There's like different people like taking a light off of here, a tire off of there. You know what I saw? Craziest thing I've ever seen in my life. I saw a boat on the street. Yeah.

With no trailer, just a fucking boat on the street. Oh, just like slopped? Just slopped. Like a river had passed? Like the river had passed. Wow. Like Mark Twain had written a letter from it. Ha ha ha ha.

I think we're getting robbed The name of that letter you know what I was thinking would be fun that we could do for the show You're speaking of boat steal a boat now riverboat gambling trip. Ooh That is fun on the missus first mr. Stone. Would you be in on something like that some suits or something? We'd have to fix the mustache dress up like it's the 20s some seersucker joy. Yeah, go fucking riverboat gambling I'll do anything my life is just children now so anything close to fun this I'm so excited to be here just I don't know Human beings anymore like this But I'm mad at you still why have you guys not attempted to get

The greatest guest of all time for RU Garbage? Who? Oscar the Grouch! Ohhhh! I told you this last time, you still haven't done it! Yeah. You did tell us that last time. I think we did make some inquiries.

Who's his manager? No, Barry's. Yeah, Big Bird said we're a brand risk. Yeah. We did make some, all jokes aside, we did make some type of inquiries to that, didn't we? Who did? I thought we did. Who is the we in this?

You and me. So I thought somebody read... You and I. Oscar, I'm a reader. You're just having it as a clean episode. They had like T.I. comes on Sesame Street and shit. We're pretty clean. That's what I'm saying.

That was community service for him, by the way. Except for you handing us cigarettes on air. It's a fresh bag. Yeah, I don't think I ever had a cigarette. That's what I'm saying. That was community service for him, by the way. Except for you handing us cigarettes on air. It's a fresh bank. Yeah, I don't think I ever talked to Oscar the Grouch. That's something I would remember. We'd speak to him personally. I think we reached out to somebody.

Hey, Cookie Monster, zip him, will you? Hashtag get Oscar. We got to see Oscar on this podcast. That would be fun. Where he grew up, how'd he get in the can? How'd he get in the can? That's underneath that. What's it like? tag get Oscar we got to see Oscar on this podcast that would be fun where he grew up how do you get in the can and he get in the can that's under deep like see we're in pants in there or what I wouldn't the first thing you say to him are you a pants in that thing and they go yeah we're gonna talk about how

big T-bone hey what's that piece of dill look like yeah all right God let's quit screwing around we got Greg Stone here. He's got a brand new special out. Nobody presents Greg Stone It's on his YouTube page do yourself a favor and check it out. We're gonna do some cues with you. Yeah gang As you know when you sign up for the patreon we'll answer your garbage question on the air Uh, what is that? It's a candy bar. No, I'm just kidding. No, I just had it in my pocket, my little big pen. Oh, it's a vapor.

Oh, is that Big Vapes, or what? Oh, Johnny Vapes. Big Daddy Vapes? Yeah, and I got a new one. I'm very excited about it. Is it flavored? Yeah, it's flavored as marijuana. Oh, it's a weed vape.

Yeah, because I can write this off as, like, I'm not allowed to smoke weed because of these kids. But if I'm on a podcast, I'm like, honey, I gotta get high It was a podcast. She's Wife's gonna hate us You don't know stone is on edge my wrong or my right Not on edge you're a kooky-poo-dookie It's been trouble for me. I'm drowning financially emotionally and physically. But I'm happy to be with some friends. Welcome to the show baby. Yeah that's alright. Alright here let's get into it this one's from Joey B. Are you garbed if you only found out your uncle

was arrested in a bait car sting because you and your family saw him on 2020. Man, when that bait car shit dropped, that took over the country. What's a bait car? So the cops would put a car where they could seize the engine and they would leave the keys open and it was always in Newark. Put cameras and stuff. It was always in North Jersey where they would steal and it would be cams.

Where I grew up was the most, I grew grew up in Bloomfield a block out of Newark Yeah, that's always there. Yes. It was the most cars robbed in like the entire planet Yeah, like ten minutes from my house. Not now though teams isn't Newark on the on the up on the come up these days or am I? misinformed in a while Depends if you're talking to the mayor of the people They have different opinions, I'm sure. Attorney General's, those things are good. Um, they had, that was fucking, that one, man, you would go into fucking school or whatever

the next, be like, did you see it? They'd shut the engine down and start talking to them. But they figured that freak out. Did they figure that out? Oh, they talked to them in the car? They'd be like, you are under arrest, this is a sting operand. They'd be fucking- Is that entrapment?

Yeah, that's entrapment. I think that's why they stopped doing it. Yeah Can you get some eyes on that? I have seen the bait bike videos. Those are all right Those are kind of mean. Yeah, huh with the like poll that goes with the guys, but I see that one And I still always on board. Oh The one with the rope is pretty brutal they just fly off. Yeah, and they all stay always good It's always pointing down the hill too So the listener if you're not familiar they put they lean up But it's always in like San Francisco down one of those fucking bombing

And they lean a bike up against the light pole and there's like, you know a thin wire connected to it So they get on it and they take off man. And when that fucking tension hits, how do you not see the rope? They have that they have the the seat the bar that goes Up in the seat. They also have one of that electrocute you that's fun I've seen the dudes it shocks the shit out of you man And there's why it's all one the other day where it the bike kind of blew up And as they have like an airbag in the seat and it blows up and knocks you off man speaking of the early internet videos Do you remember when they put the airbag under the tire in the tire shop? Oh my god, I went into the air. I hit the ceiling like the

town drunk came and sat on it and they said dude he hit the ceiling. That was always in like Russia or something like that they would do that shit. I got a question. Please. What's worse? Okay. A man who steals bikes or a man who shoves a metal rod up another Yeah, I honestly think yeah, man, that's like the death penalty for Yeah, yeah, it's got to be frowned upon. It's at some point. I got something to rest of it I got you on baked cars here. Okay, it shouldn't be a baked car merely presents an opportunity for a crime But it does not force or persuade an individual to commit the crime. Therefore, it does not meet the legal definitions of entrapment.

It is, however, a dick move. laughter That's fun. Yeah, that's uh... Written by a guy who got busted in a bait car. laughter That's whole thing to set up. Real dick move.

Uh, alright, let's see here. This one's from dustamatic, $10 Bozo, first time never had one read. Is it garbage if you still pay for text messages? I got a buddy who calls his provider and says, give me 20 bucks in text. Whoa. That can't be real.

I think people are, I love it. Are in bed with not the best providers. That's crazy. You buy a Lucy text? Yeah. Let me get one more. They all come in a bag. May or may not have an apple in it.

I remember as when everybody got cell phones and I had cell phone, you know, before text messages were really a thing. Mm-hmm. Like you and not everybody could send them and receive them and everything. Sure. And they charged you like ten cents a pop.

It was a problem. To send and receive So me and my boy I remember like the first month everybody could take everybody's just you know Well, you know just texting and that first bill came in at like four hundred and eighty eight dollars or some shit receive that's entrapment Thank you. Hey to receive you got an asshole. You guys get some boys. You hate this guy. I'ma send you 50 fucking texts Oh, yeah, I didn't even think of that. That's pretty good. Why wouldn't I? Do remember minutes to how many minutes? Weekends like singular

to singular was free. I spent a lot of time in the early 2000s doing your business at midnight. 2000'm calling Tokyo. 100% like 2003, four, five, six, seven, eight. I spent a lot of time where my phone was half shut off where I couldn't call, but you can see calls. I would remember that. Yes, I would always be my face for that. They'd give you like three days before shutting your service off completely where you could still receive calls. Yeah.

And man, I would post on Facebook, phone's messed up. Phone messed up? Phone's messed up. I can't make any outbound calls. Someone's like, you gotta pay your bills. Yeah, who the fuck you been talking to? Got caught in a dunk tank with my phone, so hit me up. That's when you found out where you stood

in the pecking order of your friends. Cause that can get real lonely. If you can't make any calls, no one's calling you. You ran out of AOL minutes too. You're gonna burn on the internet. I had 63 hours. Um and I also remember when the minutes would, I remember when the first company, the minutes stopped rounding up. Do you remember that? Cuz they're like, if you, if your phone call. The

rollovers? No, if your phone call was an hour or a minute and ten seconds, they they build you two minutes. And then the first company was like, we're just going to charge you a minute and 10 seconds. Wow. I remember being like, man, that's 43 seconds. These are good. That's rich guy shit. You can afford that. You're some kind of dirt bag if you count 30 seconds.

Those are my seconds and I need them now. Just to be like on the phone with your friend, I got 20 more seconds. Go ahead. I think you're about to cut the commercial. I'm already over two minutes. Stretch. Yeah, that shit sucked. That whole thing for a while.

I would love to know if they're making more money now or if they they that first ten years They had to be clean it up. It was probably like a run on the back. Yeah, I mean way less people had cell phones True now everyone's got a self-cure or no house lines But dude it was like my mom would get like we were on like a family plan And I was like I think I was in my early 30s or like late 20s Yeah, and she would get a bill for like yeah like 500 like what? The fuck is this? I don't know something with the phone

I don't know what happened, and I also remember like the dad it wasn't unlimited data, so you could get data overages and yeah Yeah, man, everyone would slow down if you were close or if you went over or something like that. Oh, they throttle you back Put the eye bunch. No more naughty movies for you. I remember every phone though, they had all fun. iPhones ruined phones because they used to be like, we got the fucking flip phone, the side cam. There was a lot of different.

I had a side cam. This one's got wheels, like cool shit. And now everything's in iPhone. Everything's fucking dumb and bullshit. That's a great point. The Razr. Yeah, give me fun stuff again. I had one with a kickstand

You remember that it was an Android. Yeah, it stands so you could let it would prop up So you could watch movies and streamers on the handlebars Couple baseball He's got a girl's phone Nothing's cool anymore. No, I mean great take Yeah, they should have stopped. I'm going to sound real old saying this. We should have stopped at the razor.

Just stop cell phone should have stopped. Yeah, should have stopped at the razor. Now, I remember for a minute it would everybody had those Motorola's shorty chirp back man. Oh, we were talking about. Yeah, choo choo the next tell chirp. That was man. You were trying to be a drug dealer It was just a walkie-talkie. Yeah, see your technology in the phone

That was so cool dudes on the job site yeah, yeah, yeah blow dealers What track phones real were real big when kids were selling weed in high school track phone track phone was like a phone You could go buy at 7-eleven for like 30 bucks Oh, yeah, and put just prepaid like I want $50 worth of minutes Jason Bourne shit. I believe so yeah Greg it's Greg I'm freaking out over here storage unit with a bunch of toys and a bunch of burner out over here. Storage unit with a bunch of toys and a bunch of burner phones. Oh, yo, burners. Good question. Alright, let's see this one's from KJ Peterman. Love the name. Is it garbage to dance to Oasis on your wedding day?

I don't think so. No, why? That's not classy. Oasis? It's one of the biggest rock bands of all time. What are we talking about, Wonderwall? So is Motley Crue. You're not fucking, not pouring some sugar on me, you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean that's a dead leopard. I don't know, it's not a...

Wait, hold on. Oasis Wonderwall is a nice... first of all, that's not really dancing music. It's played out, man. To slow, your first slow dance? Today is gonna be that one. Yeah, if that was a sing-along at the end of a wedding I think that would be nice my interpretations of the first dance. We could be champagne supernova. They got tells a song. That's a good Yeah, but like 90 minutes. It's a long fucking song. You have a long dance brother or I mean, that's not don't go away Would be a good one. You know, it's not don't go away. Oh, that's a great one. Yeah rip your heart out I'm ready to knock for copyright. I want to dance to jumper

Yeah, I guess that is pretty trashy yeah, I mean it ain't classy yeah, can I ask you a question I didn't please John but What's a what song do you guys remember what song you lost your virginity stew? Real setup man All right, it's stone to stone Man space hog yeah, that was it that Fucking tickled my funny, but that was great Welcome back to Greg stone on Greg stone. I'm your host Greg stone today with us. We have the great Greg stone It's it's stone from downtown with the assist from stone I'll shoot myself in the face like that. Okay. Stone cop's back, gets the ball, passes it to Stone.

Great tackle by Stone. We all just did the same bit. That's all right. We had fun. Which we famously did with Tom Boba. Yeah. I didn't listen to that episode. Not a fan of the podcast. I like you guys.

Anything Toby's involved Space hug remember that song oh yeah meantime sure yeah, he's hot yeah I can't think of the song for some reason now space in the meantime in the meantime meantime was what it's called meantime Yeah, it's meantime. Yeah mean and all we all the wrong Mean the sky's blue and all in all all the wrong. The sky is blue and all in all. Which is right. Thank you. Just not. Yeah. Yes, I lost my opportunity to. No kidding. How about you guys? I don't remember the song. I don't think there was a song playing.

Yeah. Where were you in it? Were you in a Sam Goody? What the hell? This is squeaky sounds of a gross couch. I had Adidas swishy pants on. Easy on, easy off. Remember those guys? We called them warm ups, man, and there was nothing better. Were you working a bachelor party or something? Well, I was in eighth grade.

These were the dry humping days. And I would come prepared for the dry hump with the best possible pants. And they were the Adidas Swishies. They'd make a lot of noise, though. That was a problem. The mom heard whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. You also can't hide an erection

if somebody pops in with those. Oh, no. Those things. You are pitching a tent. You mom heard whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh in the. You also can't hide an erection if somebody pops in with those. Oh, no. Those things. You are pitching a tent. You wear a belt underneath them. Just a just a hook in. Oh, that's great. Remember they used to be plastic? They were like those hard, squishy pants. Yeah, that's what I love them. The Adidas ones. Yeah. The Adidas ones got real hot at the time.

They were not good for fat guys. The ones that are plastic that you're talking about, that were almost like book bag material, those, I would rip the shit out of those things right down the crotch. I loved them. Just wha- what happened? I didn't even make them anymore.

I think they were poison. Yeah, I think they were killer kids. That's why I can't reproduce. Yeah, it's like walking around in a Ziploc bag. Yeah, what the hell? Man, I remember one. I had a pair of them that was insulated I know exactly what you're talking about wet and those things before lunch and school like dude Just fucking behind the eight ball before I even got the class realize how good the heat was in the school district I know exactly have the elastic waist and the elastic legs, so it's like you're cutting weight for boxing

It's just a fucking sweatsuit. I know exactly what you're talking. Oh, that's great So you were doing a little dream doing a little dry humping huh little dry humping yeah, yeah Then she let me get in there once whoo was immediately over there you go exciting to Wonderwall, so yeah It's a match made never yeah, they're a great band did one song I was a match made never yeah, they're the band did one song It's a good song Alright, let's see here. This one's just fine. I don't even understand this This is from TNS is a garbage or list something on Facebook marketplace with no intention of selling the item You just want to show off your shit

That guy's just online flexing yeah Love that got a brand new Lamborghini I love that brand-new Lamborghini 1500 or best-off It's like obi-o side not for sale dude. I'm busy killing it and a guy do that to me It was a fucking car. I wanted so bad It was my first cars was gonna buy was a red Volkswagen Corrado. They've been in it was like a Corrado yeah, they made them like like a very short period it was like a GTI It was like a golf, but it was like okay

It looked a little bit like it was like a slick fucking car and a guy oh yeah pretty slick car yeah maybe back in the day it was I was like the guy took me for a ride and that the going rate for this thing at the time let's say was like $4,000 you know and I was like yeah man uh you know I got the money I'll buy it he was like yeah $15,000 they gave me a number that was so crazy because he just didn't want to sell it he just wanted me to get in his car and drive around with it He wanted to show it off Yes, because they were also very hard to find at the time too because they were very like there wasn't a lot of them

My buddy had a GTI all through high school. It was I had man thing really all right Yeah, they were just a little bit better than everybody else's car. The interior was nicer. The radio was good You know back then it was it was so European to you. You're like, yeah, man This might as well been a pooh Joe or something Yeah, I had a VW it was a GTI turbo I should stick I Fucking it was like that. That was where I peaked AC worked everything worked. It was awesome. My six changer in the trunk that's jacket still, huh? Yeah, yeah that jacket came with the car remember when you did she well if you wanted to hear a different CD

You had to open the trunk if you had if you had who had the five disc changer in the trunk money back This guy was working at Sears and was stealing from Sears That's exactly who shut up to you. Mr. Stone stone to stone That's exactly who shut up to you. Mr. Stone stone to stone Returning something with no receipt to missus all just a setup for you to tell us you had a five-dish changer Oh Yeah, I've never had that man. That was so inconvenient No, yeah Just say we thought we were hot stuff when we got the sound system in the house that had the five-dish change

Oh, yeah, we had one looking a pizza oven the kid that had the five-dish change. Remember? Yeah, we had one. It looked like a pizza oven. It came out. The five-dish. Wanna hear the saddest thing? We had one, but we didn't own five CDs. So we only had like the Eagles greatest like Hellfreeses over and something else that like... It's like Russian roulette. I remember being like, man, one day when our number comes in,

we'll be able to fill this bad boy. Dude, I just last like two years ago. I found it was like a 200-disc changer front opens down i found it was thrown out so i grabbed it i brought in the house and uh and it was a dvd changer found it on the street found on the street and for like and for years this is definitely probably like 10 years ago for years my wife is going throw it away and i'm like it's a 200th changer i can't i can, throw it away. And I'm like, it's a 200 inch changer. I can't throw it away. And she was like, we don't need CDs. Like, digital is completely out.

Sure. But it was something I always wanted. The idea of having, I don't know, four DVDs, let alone 200 of them is crazy. Man, Stone's got hoarder written all over him. Yeah, I have storage space. It is full and my wife is mad. Find the end there with a tower of Smurfs all over you.

I swear to God, man, my wife, big reason that figure came to you is that my wife was like, you got too much of this shit. She's like, just so I like to just give them out to people, try to get you guys. I love it. I love it. I think it's the sweetest thing ever. I wasn't stoning a stone on that. I was just trying to...

Here's a story about me being nice and sweet and awesome. Remember my five disc changer? All right, let's see here. This one's from Michael. I'm more just confirming it's garbage, but are you garbage if the only song you sing at karaoke is Crazy Bitch by Buck Cherry? Man, that song is a certain kind of trash. The sink, you know that one? Oh yeah. You don't play as a bitch.

Really gets the tramp stamps moving the tramp stamps I always feel it's like it's a woman in jeans that are like ten years too old You know what I mean? They got like a cool pocket or something They're like the perfect amount of rip or something the design on the pocket yeah like it's something There's some studded diamonds or something yeah, I was thinking crazy town butterfly Yeah, I did karaoke for a very long time Found it. I found a patch a little moustache patch Yeah, no Carioquian

Carioquian a minute you don't know about this No, you don't read the trades now. Can I pause karaoke quarterly? I'm so sorry. Oh, please So I did stand up in 2001 the first time. Okay. 2002, I bombed so bad that I was afraid to go back. So for, I'm gonna say, three years? Maybe one year? No, one year, one full year.

I went to karaoke and I was straight edged. I did not drink at the time. Every single night of the week, every night up and down New Jersey, doing karaoke every night as a man named Gus Dakota Gus Dakota Gus Dakota used to wear members only jacket fake mustache face sunglasses. I had a set list Anthony DeVito used to come he was my little Indian friend Sun Tune so they would introduce they would go ladies and gentlemen Gus Dakota and then Anthony would run up to the microphone. I go no no no no and then he would reintroduce me

He would go the next your next singer the Sultan Swing, he's the king of whatever. A biggie, yeah. He would bring me up, he would re-bring me up, and then I, then as this karaoke guy, I did karaoke every single night as a different person. What kind of venue, like just like bars and stuff? Tiffs, every place that had karaoke. Obviously, tiffs.

Tiffs. You're not in the industry. I was on the weekends though. And I tell you, I told my friend this, who was a manager at TGI Fridays. And I go, my friend Pete. Run up with a good crew back then. And I go, Pete.

Bunch of lady killers, fake mustaches, DeVito. Getting late. And the manager of a Fridays in North Bergen. Getting late in tear away pants. It was in Willowbrook Mall. So I tell him, my friend Pete, about how he was doing this karaoke and he was like, oh that's so hilarious. I go, Pete, I got a question.

He goes, I was like, I can I pick up some shifts? I need a little bit of money. And he goes, yeah, come. I show up as Gus DeConah. Fake, sunglasses, headband, at TGI Fridays. I had nunchucks on me. I had to wear flair on the things. I just stapled a picture of a bear.

And he goes, so I guess I got Gus, huh? I go, you fucking triple A, right? You got Gus. He changes my name in the system. I worked for six months as TGI Fridays as Gus Dakota. People I used to work with had no idea it was me. They had no idea I was in character as the legend of Gus Dakota.

I think everybody knew, but I was afraid to be like, what's that guy's deal? I mean, I'd love to yes, and you on that but I have evidence I'm sitting next to my boy Derek and he was Derek is like I and I was I was Greg right and he goes Yo, g-man. He was like Joe. He got this crazy guy here. He's got Gus. He got a fake mustache. He falls off It's like he carries none choices. Great. You guys see him. He's telling me about this and I was like, yeah I was like man. That's pretty crazy He had no idea. I was like that's me dog. That was me. I mean do you not believe this I have a YouTube video

No, you're like you're like karaoke cervical Yes, we're gonna. God man. I just did I was so into karaoke that we just went every day I love how is like stand-up isn't working out. What's next karaoke? Yeah? karaoke identity fraud Met a girl is Gus. It's crazy. It's fun. I mean, huh If I find out your wife thinks that your name is Gus It's a lot. Yeah, but yes, so I was very into karaoke Moral story yeah, I kill it. Oh, what was your go-to song? I only did Neil Diamond.

Really? As Gus, I would only do Neil. But if it was Greg, I opened with Torn, Natalie Imbruglia, had my own style, I had my own way of doing it. Single-handedly, the reason people do- Change the game. Wait, how do you have your own style of doing it when it's a tape? He does it in Spanish. Nothing much, I'm down!

I would do it, I had my own way of doing Torn. And it would bring the house down. They know. Yeah they got it. The reason Journey came back, the reason people know Don't Stop Believing, I guarantee is because of me. I did Don't Stop Believing so well every single night of the week. I think single-handedly started putting it back in the radio rotation and then the song came back. I swear to God they owe me money. You guys, I don't understand this look you guys are giving me right now.

Do you hate me? No. Take your nuts. I am what I am. Yeah, I think you're fucking crazy. This guy's taking crazy pills over here. I can't believe I freaked you guys out with this. All the things I said.

No, everything has been freaking me out. What, did you work at TGI Fridays under an assumed name wearing a fake mustache? What did the tables say? Oh my god, best of his life. Were you working there as Greg and Dakota? So I worked there for like three or four years as Greg. And then I quit.

And then Pete was the manager and I go, Pete, and he goes, yeah, I'll sign you up. And he saw me and went, hell yeah. I was still getting checks to Greg, but the name on the receipt would say Gus. Would you have the sunglasses on? Sunglasses, fake mustache. I used to use 3M spray mount on my face to keep the mustache on, and it burned like hell every goddamn time.

Talk about having a lot of free time. That's why the mustache is falling off. The chemicals are catching up to you. Chemical burns. And wait, what about when it was busy? You would stay in character and... Yeah, man, I would only eat my tables. What happened?

I wish Greg was here to help me. What happened when corporate showed up and there was a guy running around the restaurant in a fake mustache and wearing sunglasses? He would say things like, do I question you about them fake ass titties? Don't talk about my mustache. Like I would say wild things and people loved it.

They laughed, it was hilarious. I got the best tips of my life. I was only working like one day a week, you know, like a shift I'd show up like like six months man, but he came up to the table. I believe The guy with a fucking fake mustache give me my fucking potato skins. What are you nuts? Yeah, I always recommended the Reuben. I remember go try the Reuben and they'd be like there's no And they go I don't know what's happening here. I love it. That's alright recommended the substance. This guy's always doing bits. I gotta give ya Most people laugh at that story

Not you guys It's slightly off-putting I faked having chemo What's your mind from 2012 to 2013? Let me tell you a little something shut out the top up God you're fucking crazy. Yeah, I this one's from John you ever wear a concert t-shirt under a white dress shirt And then realize middle of the day why everyone has been asking you if you're a big fan of the Eagles.

That's so funny. It's hilarious man. It always shows worse in public in your room under like there's like windows that light that light you're fine. It passes the test but then when you get under those fluorescent lights at like a cubicle man I remember realizing that that oh shit. You can see through this because I used to wear different colored T-shirts underneath if I had to wear a dress shirt somewhere

Mm-hmm, and then yeah, you'd you go into the bathroom and you're like, oh fuck they can see my jersey Yeah, do you remember the number four? Do you are the age you were when you realized girls could see your eyes looking at their boobs It was a very Specific time I'm looking at girl. Look at any like something on my boobs I go how do you know and they're like yeah, you're I can look I can see your eyes I just thought that you couldn't see your head was up here like if your eyeline looks that way Yeah, yeah, I didn't know that that was the thing they would notice or see and then I was like oh well I'm in a lot of trouble a lot of reason he was 32 my wife's friends

so you want a sunglasses all right we got time for a couple more here um this one I don't even understand this from Jeff ten dollar home and everyone read is it garbage if you like them dollar burgers from Dollar Tree? What people can get eyes on are they serving hot burgers or not? I'm not it's all frozen. Yeah, it's gotta be one one dollar frozen burger Which I gotta be honest with you might not be too shabby in the singles in the single plastic thing Yeah, 7-eleven used to bang with those you put them in a microwave Uh-huh, and I've been on record saying this they weren't that bad single plastic thing. Yeah. 7-Eleven used to bang with those and you put them in a microwave.

And I've been on record saying this. They weren't that bad. I'm with it. And 7-Eleven for a half a minute to also had the burgers hot in a little box. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Those were pretty goddamn good. Remember, I still I get shivered, but I like those spinning. The Keto's. To Keto. Of course. Oh, OK. All right. I was shamed my whole life. I mean, it's but I like those spinning. The Kitos. To Kito, of course. Oh, OK.

All right. I was shamed my whole life. I mean, it's trashy. Yeah, it's not it's not, you know, a Michelin star. I love it. I'll I've well documented. I fuck with the pizza at 7-Eleven. Oh, yeah.

The pizza is fine. I've had the burger dog, the burger dog. You know, it's just a burger meat on a hot dog. Yeah, it's the long way to burger the cheese the cheeseburger roll I like I don't know where ever it's called. You've ever seen those. Oh, they're delicious Why not just get a burger because they don't have them there They like they need everything to be a tube. It's gotta be on a roller. I understand Yeah, next to the big burger is just gonna tumble if you which I didn't I never realized or I never put it together

There's the big bites then there's also something else at 7-eleven They the the hama mamas or what do they be called them the big mamas? They were like brats. They were too big of a yeah I stayed clear that they always had little white pieces inside of white is not a thing you want a lot of new Serving that now you don't want to see little white specks. It's a fingernail or something. Cartilage or something like that. You got anything on the dollar burgers? I do. Fast Bites Cheeseburger. It's a buck and it looks like you would eat it in a bomb shelter. Really?

Okay. It's not great, dude. Fast Bites Cheeseburger. Let me get an eye on this. Ah. I mean, that's what I expected. That's alright. $107? That's probably for fucking fifteen thousand

Yeah, that's why that's what they used to feed at school in the 90s and shit was that you know that kind of shit Here's a question for Greg or Gus Toby if you don't mind. I'm gonna as this is this is a Toby Question Toby got that has been stirring up a lot of debate, a lot of controversy, and there really is no answer. Toby's question was, what sauce do you put with onion rings? He said the onion ring doesn't have a home-based sauce. A tried and true identity sauce to go with it. So I would agree. It doesn doesn't but that's what's good about the onion ring is it it'll for you it'll be anything it wanted to be. I like

that take. What do you want to see when if you go to if you go to a place and you order onion rings yeah what do you want on the side? Well I mean because we all know ketchup isn't hidden. I'm gonna say this and I don't care whatever I'll accept who I am right? Multiple sauces if I'm gonna say this and I don't care whatever. I'll accept who I am, right? Multiple sauces. If I'm getting onion rings, I want ranch and I want barbecue sauce, I want some kind of weird mustard they're doing. I love when they give me a big metal knife with like onion rings on it. Not a knife, but like an onion ring tree, you know? And they go in here are all our variety sauces because I'm here for the sauces, but the onion

ring is the vessel. There you go. It's not a bad. That's pretty good. I had a breakthrough about this last night because I was I it's been driving me crazy this thing. I'm putting an awful lot of overtime on this. Big day. What we do. Big day at the office. Uh I I think that the perfect sauce for the onion ring Outback Steakhouse handle it with the sauce they give you with the Bloomin' Onion. Yes! Ah, shit. Great sauce. What is that?

I don't know, it's that like spicy mayonnaise, something mayo. And that's what I was thinking, but I couldn't get it out. They were one of those mayonnaise, half yellow, half white sauce. Which we said, some type of remoulade. Yes. Yeah, small bowl combined... Okay, let's see, I gotcha. Right here. You know what I love about my onion ring? A fucking barbecue sauce, cheeseburger.

I just like, you know, one of those burgers. You do? I love on my onion ring a fucking barbecue sauce cheeseburger. I just like you know one of those burgers I just want a burger. You know the barb the burger you like an onion ring and a burger. Yeah Right. Yeah, if it's a specific kind of burger Here's the thing if you take a bite of that and you pull the entire onion ring out of its casing The breast of the burgers ruined because then you just have a little bit of batter. Yeah, I don't mind I don't mind. I don't mind some batter on there believe it or not I can't do it for as fat as I am so the blooming onion is ketchup mayonnaise horseradish garlic paprika cumin oregano

Salt and pepper that's pretty good. It's great Yeah, that makes sense the calorie count on the Bloomin' Onion is like enough for the week. It's like 63,000. You've never had one. Yeah, it's nuts. It's wild. It's been a while since I've eaten one.

But they're also very big. You're crushing one? I don't think I've ever. I think I might have tasted one. No, your boy just got diabetes, so I'm out of the game. Really? Yeah. Gus or Greg?

It's kind of last week. Greg's healthy as an ox. Gus could never get it. Gus be dipping on that. 1620 on the calories of the blue manonis. 1620 for an appetizer. That's before you get to the main course. Let's get the party started.

Prediabetic. I'm the last point away from, I'm prediabetic to the last edge. Okay. So I'm one point away from diabetes. I think you can get there. Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, I got this last, two days ago and my wife was like, my wife's a nutritionist and I'm like, you got to get better at your job. Okay. You're really letting us down here. You blame her immediately. I would help you with your screenplay. Help me anyway. So we

change everything. We got to wrap it up... We gotta wrap it up, gang. Okay. Well, hold on, Rog. What's the story with that? You're pulling back on everything? Yeah, yeah. We're gonna make some changes. Do you eat a lot of candy and stuff like that?

It's not candy. So, immediately. I mean, he's not eating fucking Brussels sprouts every day. Thanks, buddy. Bag of cigarettes. I want it back. Please take them. So, I eat a bacon cheese.

I eat a bacon, egg and cheese on a bagel every single day and my my wife was like we can immediately cut that out and like I think that's a major problem. Sure. You're doing that at home you're going and buying that. I buy it every day. Okay. And then we're at for lunch. Oh there's a bagel place by my house. Okay. I walk home from my get my kid I got a bacon cheese on a bagel then for lunch I'll do like a sub sandwich you know? And then for dinner, it's everything in the fridge.

Whatever is there, I eat it. So, but we're knowing, we're changing. We're cutting the, for me, it's bread and pasta. That's my fucking thing. Gotcha. It's not really candy. Jam's, yeah. Yeah, jammed me up big time. It's good to hear, buddy.

I love it. I mean. Because we love you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you said it's good to hear that I got the I have eaten. Son of a, it's good to hear that guys I beat Because I was at that karaoke one night and you bumped me gang our good pal, mr. Greg Stone is a brand new special out. Nobody presents Greg Stone. It's on his YouTube page He is one of the funniest guys working you have to check it out and you can hear him every week on his amazing podcast Friday night

Greg ladies and gentlemen, mr. Greg stone What else you want the folks out there to know buddy hit him with anything you want dates anything? That's all I have nothing. I have absolutely nothing Not yet, he didn't even get that that. Yeah, I mean, he's point one away. I can't even do the diabetes right. I was excited to be here. That's already going on in my life. I'm gonna go home and I'll kiss my kid in his lips. There you go, pal. Yeah. So happy to have you back. Yeah. Congrats on the special. We love you so much. Always a blast.

Yeah. Thank you. Kip, what do you got for us? We are gearing up for the 2024 through the roof tour. Oh, yeah. All tickets are on sale at rugarbages.com. The first run is Charlotte, Nashville, Atlanta and Tampa. We got a second show out at the the twenty-fourth of the roof