Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Grocery Store Fail w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: June 8, 2023

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! NEW MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage Go Factor: https://go.factor75.com/Garbage130 Promo Code: Garbage130 Sheath: https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Fum: https://tryfum.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Game, we got a low-ticket alert and cleveland and Columbus, so if you want to catch the show, you better make a move, baby! Yeah, gang, there's a handful of tickets left at each show, and then obviously the second show added at the Vogel Theatre and Red Bank, New Jersey, August 11th. That's more than halfway sold out, get those tickets, let's sell it out, gang, we'll see you out there! Peace! Welcome to another exciting edition of... ...Are You Gabbitch? of, are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast. This is our

you garbage. Hey, so at little, we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it after you're to be classy. Yeah. We're after just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Dave Trolley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tuddy's in the new edition.

She just went off to get a Brazilian, okay? Yeah, getting ready for the summer. That's a good day, child. Huh. And it's all you can eat folks. Toad, he's open. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. It's a family episode just to pose those in the homies

and the boys. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He's an international business man. And the kid, as I said last week, loves a flatbread pizza. Got another one this weekend. That wasn't a flatbread. It was a thin crust.

Personal pain, kippy, giving up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan. What up gang, thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you're right. When you subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube, as you know, those numbers are. Chariter out. Cuckoo.

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So lock on on over there. Keep you doing 180 and a fucking indie core. Look out. Still fuel to my plums. Hey, buddy, there was coming that soup before I put it on, all right. I took a perk of set same thing And also of course the second greatest are you garbage dot com for all your aYG needs. Yeah, ticks Are you are you in the market for a zip-o style lighter than head over to are you garbage dot com because those things are flying off the shelves

That's how I know our fans are trash Those guys are because those things are flying off the shelves. That's how I know our fans are trash. Those guys are eating those things up. I got a call. I got a call. It's like I can't eat lighters on a shelf. How about a nice quick shout out to our producer X short in there, the magic man. Makes us all look good. Works the ones, works the twos, the threes and the fours, crosses the teeth, not the eyes. And he's got a big old hog on him. Give it up for T-bone McScruffins, Toby McMone, to go right to the chase this week, baby. Let them know. Woo, speaking of the chase, I got fucking rocking fuel with my blood after being down there at that Indy Five. I'm a race guy now. Yeah, it was a good weekend, man. Yeah, it's fun. Good time. Shout out to everybody. Shout out to Louisa. Yes. Shout out to the international motor speedway

and the Annapolis motor speedway. There you go. Yeah. Fucking wild time. Wild time. And of course, my new best friend, Mr. Brian Adams, playing all the hits. Sure.

Playing all the hits. I mean, that was the most bozo concert I've ever been to in my life. We'll talk about it on hard feelings. I wasn't crazy about the set list. I already have an email at to his people that was a swing in a miss like an improvement I prefer for you go right in which summer is 69 what are you doing I open up with something new in front of 50,000 people the boo's started in the back I think it was me. I saw a flow. Boop. Played it. It's baby.

Hey, through my core's light at him. What a weekend, man. It was a good time. Yes, it was great. It was good stuff. We'll see you guys next week. Yeah, I mean, I got a little something to get into a little bit. I tried to, uh, I cut in line pretty heavy the other day.

Where? At the supermarket. You did. Yeah. You have pieces, shit. After a flashbang down the aisle. Real. Well, so the way mine set up, there's self-checkout on the left. Uh-huh.

Regular checkout on the right. Uh-huh. It's about three and three. Or just steel on the far right. I know. I mean, I can't. I didn't steal. Uh, but what they're doing now. I don't I didn't see it uh well what

they're doing I don't want to see you on one of those uh Walmart videos where you're getting gang-packled by a bunch of security guards I got a rotisserie chicken in my some old vets grabbing your cart was a black and white kippy getting the shit

kicked in I had never rotisserie chicken on that was from yesterday I swear coming at a home depoties are my two by fours. Uh, well, no, also what they started doing, which I respect in the, you know, they started posting pictures of people who steal. Ooh, that's the worst.

They're like, dude, they're like fucking computer print out like never. Home, never a good look. Jammed up, which I respect. Air out the dirty laundry, keep these neighborhoods clean, you know what I mean? Fucking get the trash out of there. It was section for cutters like you.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Well, no. And- We'll say you only has two items and then this white flush all over. There's an understanding, right? So, okay. So, there,

there recently added the self checkouts, right? But then the past year or so. Which if you get jammed up over there, you're really on your own, because the guy that works over there, he's hitting on the bagging check. But the reason he's over there is because he doesn't want to deal with the line.

So he doesn't want to have to come over and help you. But you always have to have somebody come over and help because those things all mess I never Where's all this AI that's such a you know, I've never had to have the guy Oh, you got a skin again or wait for a sister you That happens every time I go in the CVS yeah with you You're at you. You're the problem. I see it happen to other people Getting my core of seed and asking me for my idea

To work core to see an in spray pain I gotta see kidding homies got an arts and crafts project tomorrow. Don't you love my back How did you mind your business pal last time I checked this is America? I'm out of buy whatever the hell I want How where's that cold flu the hell I want. How is that cold flume? We get a case of suit if it would be my own user really act it up. I'm in there in the in the Walter White suit. So go ahead. So it wasn't becoming of me but there was a long line for what? So this is what happens is there's still becoming of me, but there was a long line for what? So this is what happens.

Is there still, it's an older neighbor, there's a lot of older people in the neighborhood still, and they don't fuck with the self checkout. Now they're across. So they wait in line, and it's typically all one line, right, and then it splits. And there's, so the first six people in line are waiting, or whatever, the first handful of people in line are waiting to go to the OG traditional register.

Sure. But now there's a bunch of people behind them just waiting to go to the self check out. It would never broken up. No, because it's tight. It's so small. Got you. And it's sometimes it's like if you have a barber that you like, it's one line, but some people wait to go to the check out then other people just go there. Yes, yes. Alright. And a lot of times when you're up there,

it's on the burden is on you when you're up there to fucking scoot around the blue hair and go to the self checkout. Excuse me, you guys waiting for the, are you guys waiting for the regular checkout? Are you gonna go to the checkout? Okay, yeah, I'm over here. No, go, I'm not doing it over there. I don't know these computers. A lot of times the guy, I forgot my pin. We'll be like, I over here, you know't know these computers. A lot of times the guy, I forgot my pin. We'll be like, hey over here. You know what I mean? Like if next up, next up and stuff, check out,

it's available and they'll go, no, no, go around. Well, whatever happened was jammed up. You ever get hit with credit card only? All bars are credit card only. Lakes. Like you got a handful of nickels. That's, that's, that's, that's it you find that who's cashboard.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, who's going in a debt? Guy borrowed that from him. They're I was like you paying cash. I'm like no, I am not I'm on a credit card So there's a long line and I'm in the back and I have a bit of a Hattiest a bowel issue happening. Okay, and it was one of those. No, what's a guy like you like to use you put away I already shit myself this week. Get out of my way. Are you, uh, are you a carry cart guy? Or are you a push cart guy? This, thank you for asking. This is a very good question. Of course. This is the show. Yes. We are not changed. Uh, uh, my dad instilled in me that you would be lady like if you didn't, if you weren't able to carry all the groceries on your own.

So, we were a no-fly. Wait, no, you're just walking around with- Yeah. Wait a minute. I got stuff under my armpits, dude. Wait, hold on. I swear to God. That's crazy.

It's- I can't do it. Unless I- You can't use the little basket? Unless I know that I really won't be able to carry everything. What are you a divorce cop? I'm like a camera. What do you get? What do you mean?

There's no way you can shop for the week for a you and your wife. We don't shop for the week. A couple days. Nah, we can't buy some small. What you get? What was I getting? I'm sure there was a frozen pizza.

I believe I was getting the colleague power. I bet you were using it as a shelf. No, I should have. I had this guy's the pepperoni pizza kid. I had a can. How many pepperoni pizzas do you think he ate this weekend? Four or five or four? It was the end of 500. It was a pepperoni 500. Man. Love the pepperoni personal. You bought them for me. No, no, I'm talking about their at restaurants. You're old. I didn't have multiple pepperoni pizzas at restaurants. Yeah, I wanted the airport on your way at a town. Sure. Then they said it was the special really tight. It was filled your own. But you bought them for the house. Yes. So I mean, like, okay, or I like to live

I curiously through you. I'm 28 beers deep and there's a fruck in self-rising crust pepperoni de jorno in the freezer. I'm not gonna throw that in the oven. Which like a jerk off side bar real quick. Our buddy Pat came with this was giving me a lot of shit about my frozen pizza, heating techniques.

I'm a frozen pizza guy, right? Not after what I saw. Here's the thing. I'm checking the plate, I'm checking the date. Here's the thing. So the discussion came down to, I pulled out the cookie sheet and I put tin foil on it and I went to throw the dejorno on there to slide it in.

No, I didn't see any of this. Yes, and Pat freaked out. Well, because it was two pizzas that were half hanging off the pan. Oh, I didn't see that. That was a holding pattern. No. Stop, listen, let me explain myself. That was a holding pattern.

After Pat said, no, just put it on the grate. So I just put them there I was I had folded up a piece of 10 foil into like four so it had a little girth to it and I was gonna put the cauliflower one on there and put it in but he said and you guys are staunch it's on the box go right on the great it's on the bomb I'm a lot of do that at my house Says who your mommy you're 50 yeah, you're nice. I can't I'm not allowed because the cheese drips onto the bottom of the oven again Because you're not doing it right probably go back to the self-check out at CVS your jamming everybody up every which way Should let me put on a great to fucking Henry jam up over and I can't just put on a cookie sheet because then I got to scrub the cookie sheet So I put a piece of tin foil down and I throw it out

You're like the little kid who sleeps over and it's like at my house We're not allowed to have Marsman. It was your real. Yeah My mom says I can't touch the toaster then the parents start wondering why yeah And interferes with my medicine And I lose it I had a friend we were down the upstairs I'm wearing the dead suits walking around. Good day, sir. Playing business man.

Now I'm the dad. I had a friend who was we were stood 16 maybe. I think I driven down the shore and we woke up in the morning we're going to they had like bagels out to make. You know, I was going to

like, I was like, you know, I'm going dude 16 maybe. I think I driven down the shore and we woke up and the morning we're gonna, they had like, baggles out to make, you know? I was gonna, like, oh, I was like, you know, we all like get up and start making baggles. I was like, all right, we'll cut, we're gonna cut the baggles. We don't need to be making any trips to the hospital.

I was like, buddy, I've been smoking sigs out from, I need to send to me baggly cream cheese, that. You know, I can scoop and toast my own everything. What are you nuts? I've been working, I've been on jobs on the 7-8. What do we do? Oh, a lachki kid. What are you talking about?

Haven't seen my parents in a week. No, I was like, dude, okay, man. It's fucking wrapped. Just not real quick. Get the fuck out of here. Go get some tully nuts. All right, yeah. Where were we?

You were beating up old men in the checkout. So it was an active frustration and I got the sweat bead board growing on the brad. It's time is of the essence. You know what I mean? How many things do you have? I have a, and you're carrying it all. I thought for sure this conversation

was either gonna be on a basket guy or on a cart guy. And the one thing I will say about the city is that they have these little mini Cooper carts. Oh man, no way. The little Johns. Because when you're down, when you're down in the burbs, you take a cart, you get one of those big ones, and you fucking, you use the lanes.

It's an ego thing, I can't do it man. Unless I'm like, loaded up for a barbecue or something. A nice quiet ice cold grocery store in the summer around nine o'clock With a big I don't get a jug on a crate of oranges I don't beat so no, I don't care from getting a pack of gum. I get the cart Yeah, I don't know we don't we're not a really I'm not at my obviously my mom. Yeah, of course Yeah, I'm just not a cart guy never have been and at this point I don't think or a basket

I like I said I'll do a basket if I know like if I if I've already failed with like this stuff I'm going to get I'm like adds up so quick and I know a couple extra things I mean you look like a real loser walking around the grocery This feels like if you if you went back and you would, you're like, why are we doing this? And your dad would just be like, honestly, we're just trying to save money. I just let's just, let's just,

yeah, that could totally be it. I don't know. It was more of like, yeah, we're not doing that. I was like, all right. So the scene is set. I have a Coley Power pizza in my one hand. I have a can of Diet Dr. Pepper in my other hand. And I swear to God, I have another can of diatdoctor pepper in my other hand, and I swear to God I have another can of diatdoctor pepper under my arm. Who buys singles at the grocery store?

That's what's all they sell. Yeah, it's not like a... It's not a grocery store. Yeah, it's a market. We've gone over that. Single cans. They have them like call not buying them warm. They have them in like the front, like individual checkouts. All right. and I would be buying a bottle, but they don't sell to bottles only cans. So now I got to buy two because Kippie needs more than 12 ounces. Sure. What are we doing around here?

Yeah. So do cans should be pounders. Whoa. Right? I mean, there's gotta be legislation against that. Individual pounders? Because once you crack that, you gotta finish your gun then, right? Ha ha ha ha ha.

Yeah, there's gotta be legislation. Because over out there the yeah, that's where we're drawing the line that do people with Dr. Pepper powders that's what that's where we're putting the bites on it people would be losing feet left and right if that was the kids This is crazy Whole places fall no, but there's making sense because they sell three liters two liters You can put a cap on that. That's for like family consumption. A can you have to. So they say I would I'm assuming because don't they have all the like those soda taxes and I can get beers beers coming pounders.

That's got alcohol in it. This is America. I did. I remember we saw those mega pounders at the at the Indy 500. The 20 I think there were 22s or something. They were monsters like a football. Yeah. They were all right. Pretty cool. 500 the 20 either or 22's or something they were monsters like a football All right pretty cool

But I'm gonna be 500 knows that way we're on a bloody Mary. I'll pay it at made him fresh I was putting those things away. Yeah, you're just stamped out with shocked at the velocity you drank those things I gotta get across the river. So whatever, we're dragging this out, but I knew people in front of me were waiting to use the self-checkout line. Okay. Right. And I just saw that it wasn't happening. Like, because now that-

Nobody made a move. No, well, it's also too tight. People have the carts, the whole nine yards. See, with the cart, you're not agile. You're in line, you're in line. You can't bust a U-turn in line when you got a cart. So that's why I'm free wheeling over here. You gotta be able you're in line you're in line you can't bust a you turn in line when you got a cart So that's why I'm free wheeling over here. You gotta be able to stick him That did you do the frustrated walk over in case anybody said anything? No, I Know just a cutter

Now I'm partnered with a cutter. I was gonna ship myself that was the main thing So I just fuck I sold it because I'm gonna ship myself. That was the main thing, so I just, I sold it. Cause I'm anti-cutter. There was, and you can ask new guy Luke, cause when we were over at home, Depot that one time, I put the kibosh on a lady trying to cut in front of him. Oh, I'm a big no-cutter, of course. I wait my turn, I pay my taxes. But I'm gonna also ship myself.

And these people aren't making moves. This is New York City, kill or be killed. What are we doing? So I just fucking see that. I give you a New York minute. So I see no one's making a move. There's two open self checkout registers. The guy's like, hello, hello, hello.

So I'm like, I want to be just all gonna wait till these old birds. In that case. So I just bust a U-turn and fucking flank them up the other aisle. Cut in and I was in and out. You were kind of leading people. Yeah, it was more like, we got to break the ice here somehow. Cause I had to pull the plug. I had a guy try to cut in line at the race in the, the morning of the race. We were waiting in line to get some, some, some liquor drinks.

And there was a nice line formed. And this goon came over on the side with his, with his hillbilly girlfriend and like really tried to like just kind of creep over and get in the line now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, what that do if I'm in line for beer and someone's cutting you that's. I was like Horton in the paint. No, that's like the pearly gate. You can't cut the line there. I mean, that's, that's, that's sacred grounds sacred. Yeah, but all in all I felt bad about it, but you gotta do it. You know what I mean? I typically would have waited if I if there wasn't pressing issues. Yeah, cut What about you you cut in front of people at the grocery store? Never on purpose like like premeditated, but it in a situation like that when opportunity

It is the person in front of you excuse me. No, but that no, but that's like when you're like late for a flight Excuse me are you waiting to I'd have to ask 10 people. And by that point, they would have fucking, you know, hey, you snooze, you lose. Or I could have just, I kind of was operating in the sense I guess none of them are using the self checkout, and I fucking, because this guy, he would get you to sleep at night pepperoni boy.

You got a real beef with me and my pepperonis, because you keep bringing it up. Yeah, yeah. You got a real problem. I love it and hate it all at the same time. I wish I could go back and do more flat breads and more personal pieces of mine. Well, hey, if history's showing anything,

you got a future in them, okay. Don't click your fucking iron man over here. Ah, yeah, you know, my eating days are behind me. I sell you drink 80 beers on Saturday. Fair enough. Kim, let's talk about factor. Fact to fact to fact. Summers here. You know my eating days are behind me. I sell you drink 80 beers on Saturday. Fair enough. Kim, let's talk about factor. Fact of fact, a factor.

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Two minutes, you can eat right off the tray. It's fantastic. Or if you want to class it up a little bit, Kippy, you can eat right off the tray. It's fantastic. Or if you want to class it up a little bit, kippy throws them in the skillet. Hello, it's fantastic. You feel like a little chef and you want to do much. Two three minutes in the skillet. The food's good. It's great. They have over 34 chef created dietitian-approved options every week. And there's always something new to try. If you're looking for a calorie conscious options, calorie smart meals coming around five,

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It's a thing. It's a thing. Do it. Gang, this is a family episode, as you know, your balls I'm telling you gang it's the best stuff I got in my life and faith do it uh gang this is a family episode as you know when you sign up for the old patreon over there we will answer your garbage question on here just the best way to do it uh the homies get first crack at it we love you and I gotta be honest it's a fucking party over there it's not lions the music cutter but it, but it's a lot of shit going on over there. It's a fun time. I just saw there's like over 120 episodes. If you sign up today, it's over 120 episodes of fucking bonus AYG's over 120 episodes of hard feelings. Plus you can

order bonus videos of the fucking all the shit we do. We're cranking out tour vlogs the whole nine yard. That new guy Luke and Timo really working this week. Oh man, they were. New guy Luke had crazy full access. Yeah, people just saw him as a camera. Yeah, they were just like, oh, this is a camera guy. We should get him one of those cannon pinnies. That's what I said.

Yeah, stealing my ID on the other one. I won't look at you. I'm gonna get a 5 XL on that. Yeah, hokey cannon pinnies. Sure. Yeah, okay. Can't finish. Sure. Yeah. Uh, but all right, let's get into a gang. This is from Eric B. Have you ever jet ski'd and shoes and socks?

That's crazy. Yeah, that's, I feel like you're running from somebody there. That's a bank job. Yeah, I thought it's guaranteed that you're going to fall in on a jet. I've only been on a jet ski once in my life when we got arrested. Well, I know we're doing down in Laughwood. I'll do that. You get on a jet. I've only been on a jet ski once in my life when we got arrested. Well, I know we're doing down in Laughwood. I'll do that. Get on a jet ski.

Would I fit? Am I allowed? Yeah, I mean, well, they have them to fit to it. Four bills. They have them to fit two or three people. Okay. Yeah, that's gotta be a little. So you cut your name. Fully's riding around on a jet ski limo. We get one of those like weird seed's that's like a bigger jet ski.

No, it depends on the craft. Depends on the craft. The water craft. Yeah. Yeah. 350 to 600 depending. 600. You get you a new guy Luke on here. I can fish down and holding on tight. I mean, if DJ Khaled can whip around Miami on his. There you go. Yes, I would 100% do that. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I'm choosing socks though.

Cause you're going in, right? Uh, I don't always necessarily think you do. Yeah, I mean, that's crazy to me. I guess in my head, you're using that as like transportation. You're like going to work or something. Which if you lived on like a big lake or... And you had a zip across to get, you're working in some maritime type deal.

Not a bad life. You're working in an aquistile environment. There were kids growing up on the lake we lived on that before they had licenses with ride jet skis to the homies grubs. Yeah. Where's this down St. Pete's? Not Lake Norman, North Carolina.

Okay. When'd you live there? A couple years. This guy. No, we knew he was from North Carolina. I knew he was from North Carolina, but I never knew anything about a lake. Oh yeah, a few years lake people.

But we were caught. Wait, like all the time lake people? Except we were the family that are. I think we need a pride. We gotta find out what the real deal is here. You've been real shifty with a lot of this stuff. No, I just tell you and you forget, because I'll tell you guys.

You never told us that you lived on a lake. I did. I'll Jason from a lake. Yeah, the lake was. They didn't even have a lake from property. They had a lake view. We lived across the street from the lake fronts. My mom gave her.

Can I go up on the roof to get a lake view? Yeah, if the Johnson's had the windows open, you could see as far as the eye could see. And the fall when the leaves are gone. My mom gave my brother water skis for Christmas and we did not own a boat. Oh, yeah, that's right. I remember that. the leaves are gone. My mom gave my brother waterskies for Christmas and we did not own a boat. Oh yeah, that's right. I remember that.

Go make friends. Yeah. Go find some rich people. That's like, that's like getting a basketball and no net. Yeah, that's what's that work on your handles. What it frees in the winter so you can walk on it? No, Ned didn't get that cold.

Huh. All right. Guess that checks out. But yeah, let's get you on a jet ski. Sure. I actually just had a phone call with the guy It's about a about a house to jet ski guy. No, yeah, you get jet skis left and right down there. Okay, that was a real Chester sounded like a real perket if we're being honest sounded like he was nodding off on the other end That's good. We got a good deal. No, he was really. He was playing hardball about the ages of people. I said I got a cousin, New Garlooc, who's 25. Maybe

he just comes for a day or two. Go buddy, I'm out. I go to one guy's 50. And she's like, yeah, I was like, everybody's 30 and they're 30s and 40s. And he's like, I was like, I got one guy who's 25. And he's like, I don't know about him. I'm like, well, yeah, I was like, everybody's 30 and they're 30s and 40s. And he's like, I was like, I got one guy who's 25 and he's like, I don't know about him. I'm like, well, buddy, Jesus. Is that reason? He's a hell-raiser. Yeah. But, oh, never skied, or never,

no, obviously. Chetski in my shoes. Maybe like, if I had like, lake shoes on, if we were like, swimming in the lake and you had shoes on. Listen, if I was down there, and like you're saying saying if it was a thing Dude, that would be my primary mode of transportation.

If I lived in some kind of harbor or something like that, I'd be zipping on that thing all the time. Oh, yeah, if I like worked on below deck, take the skiff out, crush in season four right now, the sailing yacht. I hate it, I like the sailing. No, get out of here. No captains are a captain captain captain Glenn.

Yeah, I don't. Yeah, did you see the guy we run a tight chip? You see that the cruise that's in high seas right now? No, what happened? Oh, there's fucking jammed up out there. Where they were. They were like off Bahamas or something. Yeah, they were real like the fucking 90 mile an hour winds were blowing the They were like off Bahamas or something. Yeah, they were

real like the fucking 90 mile an hour winds were blowing the patio doors open to the room and stuff. They couldn't keep them closed. Yeah. Yeah. It was going to be us on a cover. Yeah. I'm fucking kind of nervous. I can't wait. I fully loaded crews. Yeah. With a good guys are going hit us up, baby. Yeah, 100% all right. This one's from Patrick 10 $10 guy here That just made that up $10 guy here never What's up? I'm a $10 dude. Are you garbage if your dad said his car has 450 AC four windows down and 50 miles an hour So no AC right, but he just puts all four windows down and does 50. That was kind of our, dude, I honestly don't remember having, like, good working air conditioning.

I don't think that hit until where it was like the mid-90s. Where it was great. I think that was like, I'll say early 90s. Yeah, I mean, I can't I just my uncle Mike had a couple of Company cars that were like cutlaces. Yeah, but those are fucking those are brand new cars Nobody was driving around and brand new cars back there. Yeah, every use car market was fucking you were in some big hunk a Shit you got from Nana or whatever When the AC didn't work shout out to the Ford Matador. I had that new A.C. Yeah, leather seats that would fucking burn your thighs. Yeah, that'll cook an egg in there.

Yeah, we my first call is a dead B in the back. Oh, man, I remember that my mom, my mom's for always a dead wasp there. Yikes, was like a fucking burial ground for honey bees or whatever. It was they were fucking jammed up back there. Oh, my, my grandfather's be- You'd get in and the seat belt would be so hot. It would like brand new. Oh, yeah, dude.

You're young tender skin. Oh, dude. Like you're cauterizing a bullet hole. Oh, man, think sucked. Um, what was I gonna say? God damn it. AC. But even, I mean, I was in, oh,

I got my first car in 2003, probably shot it to a 1995 Chevy Lumina, 2009 to 1996 Chevy Lumina, and the AC went on that quick. And like, everybody kept going, you have to like charge it. I guess you were like out of the free. Yeah, but I guess there was a leak or something because like, they would charge it and would be off for. I was a big window. Whenever the thing when you

moved it across the from hot to cold, the lever, that was bad news. Yeah, that thing never worked. But now I say it all the time, I'm a huge AC on and windows down. I know the Uber's guy, the Uber drivers get mad at you, which I said I think is a bit loose. Shut up. Nobody, wait, Dick moved from me or him? For you. What?

Because you're not getting the air conditioner will cool the car better than the window. But you get fresh air. Plus you get in there sometimes and the air freshener. It's like burning your eyeballs. I know But that's not every time you get in the car they go you roll you're like hey, I get some AC and then you Immediately put the window down is like death. Did you want AC? Did you not want AC? It's it's an odd move. I'm lighting up a heater Cosmo can you Yeah, all right. I'm a dick. I mean not a dick, but it is I'm just saying it's Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha windows down. Man, that's a good. Steely Dan playing. That's all right. Cracking a

little Deakin blues. I don't know where I pulled out one. It's all right. All right. Let's see this one Carolina guys. Oh, yeah. Steely Dan go on and raise up didn't they take the shirt off since we're around their head like a helicopter. Oh, yeah I this one somewhere you are Is a garbage to order a whole sheet cake eat half then ask for full full refund claiming it didn't taste like I thought it would PS this works at public info gathered from my sweet aunt Linda now let's fucked up I Yeah, I mean, I'm assuming you're jammed up. Sure. And you need some sort of food.

Although I'll say this. I think that is a dick move. There's trash. There is, especially if it's his aunt. These broads, that run households, that are on budgets, that are maybe on budgets when the kids were growing up and now whatever, they fall into, they have a world that we're not really privy to. They play by different, I know Patty, they play by different rules at the grocery store. That's all part of the game.

Oh, yeah, cutting it it taking half back. I'll return this. I'll get this. I'll do that. Give me two for one on this. They're cutting the rain checks. Rain checks were big. They know the whole system. Yeah. And the people that work there, it's all part of the game. They don't, they're into it. They're cool. Yeah, they also don't, I mean, like I worked at a grocery store and customers those were a long time. Those big companies don't give a fuck. They go like, all right. Yeah, just give them. They're like, Hey, I went to buy 400 cans of kidney beans and like, well, we're out of them. They're like, well, they're they're a nickel this week.

And they go, yeah, come back next week. We'll give them all to you. We don't care. Yeah. They're moving you. I see what you you're saying and a half a sheet cake can really go far sure I assume this woman's trying you know between heroin of doses and fucking eats a keeper's sugar level that's what I'm picking up a public's in Florida and Linda bring it back half a cookie monster my mom each wants a happy birthday Linda my mom. Each one does have a birthday, Linda. My mom pulled him over recently. My dad got food poisoning. We went out to eat and my mom was like, we should call them and ask them to refund some

of the bill. Whoa. Whoa. Which now if it's violent food poisoning, what do you order? What do you order? You should be re-requitting Pasa was shrimp. Yeah, you're on your own. It's right there on the goddamn menu.

There's a little star consuming raw seafood. Could jam you up. It was at a Denny's. What did Burger King say? Did she get the money back? She didn't ask. Good. But I do get the idea of like,

are you, you know, your husband, you know, someone else paid. Hahaha. I should call and see if I can get a gift card back. Yeah. Now you're rolling the dice with that stuff. Squidding pasta in North Carolina. What do you want?

It was in New York City. It was an Irish restaurant. Oh, you're nuts. I read dirty, dirty people over there. That's a old flanagan's down in the low reach. I used to be a tenement. Oh shit. Going in there to order and fucking the Ooni.

Oyster's Rockefeller on a Sunday. Apparently the sushi got him sick at Tammany Hall. I never understood why. Squidding pasta. Oh yeah. Man, you're really rolling the dice with that. Let me tell you, it's delicious. I've really rolling the dice with that. Let me tell you it's delicious I've been jammed up on that a couple of time that ain't don't last

I ain't sharpie. I can tell you that that turns plus the toner tastes terrible Yeah, that's a man. I didn't think how jammed up was that for the professor? Oh, Dr. D, all the way. Really? Oh yeah. Yeah, man, food poisoning are really, really hem you up. Yeah, that's, that ain't great. I wouldn't recommend doing that. That's, that's a tough one. Uh, but I do kind of get it at the same time.

Stiffer rules, man. Sure. Stiffer rules. But yeah, those, those birds in the supermarket, they play for keeps. They do. And it's like jailhouse rules. They don't care. Who'd or scam and who's getting cut? They don't matter. And they know each other. And in, in, in, in, in the, in the burbs, there's a good chance

that one of the ladies over in that bakery at the grocery store or behind the deli is, you know, Mary Pat, so and so, who went to school with this one. Are you remember? They used to be married to David. Oh, yeah. He's all this kid. Yeah, we got that down there. One of the first stories. Every time I go in there, I gotta get a song and dance

about what Billy's doing and Tommy's doing and this and that and the other thing. And has your mom and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, it's a whole thing. Excuse me, my lunch meet, lady. It's slice of date,'d be jamming me up. All right, let's see here. This is, um, this one's from Jacob Berk, $10.00 Boseau. Here's a garbage. If the only family portrait you have was taken at an

old West portrait studio at an amusement park. It's all right. Those things are so trashy. I know. And I'm pretty sure my cousin proposed to his wife. Really dropped down on me. I think so. But everybody can't get dirt on that. He's got a Tommy gun in a ring. Now marry me or else. What are you? Share we make us official sweet. I are big on the boardwalk. I always all those booth photo types. It's big on a guy to do that down the shore. What? What one of those photo things? Okay. Yeah, we for sure the squad's got to do that.

Uh-huh bunch of gangsters. I don't know if they have five X. I'll bring my own suits on. That guy right is you guys are all dressed up like mobsters. I'll bring my own suits on hand. Fat guy, right? It you guys are all dressed up like mobsters. I'm an cowboy. You got you're bathing suit on I always wanted those you got a saddle for the fat one Luke sit on me

We could spray him gray, make him an elephant, make this a safari one. I remember I had one of those done with an old girlfriend and her family when we were down here on vacation, down at the shore. And I remember I was probably 20 at the time and we had never, my dad was never swinging for that. And I was like, man, if I could just get one of those,

I'm gonna look like the coolest guy. Like when they take my picture, and I'm gonna make it look real. Other people all look like idiots, but when I get back there, the illusions of grandeur. I started at a young age. I'll put the face on.

I look cool. It'll look like a newspaper. It'll look like a newspaper. And I remember I got it done and I was just like, I look like the biggest dork. No way really. Yeah. It sucked. But those things are awesome. I've, I've, speaking of Pat, I've mentioned this before, but we did, we did a music video on the boardwalk to the men in black theme song. And the, the height of technological advance at that point was just like us in front of dinosaur.

And I was trying to stick to dance. So it was a tough one. It was at like 17th in the boardwalk. I was going all out into a stromboli. Dude, we had like this big fake microphone. All right, sunglasses on a top hat. The family portrait as noted behind me, is a real man.

It's never it never went smoothly. We never, I don't think we've ever done one of those. That's our only one right there. We would do like, and I remember that specific night of what a nightmare was. We literally, soon as they snapped that was we smiled and it was just chaos before and after. I had a huge cut under my eye that my mom put makeup on because my brother elbowed me or something like that.

I was crying, I was screaming. It was like a Wednesday, no, we did like Wednesday at eight. Wednesday nights. Yeah, we went to like some studio. It wasn't all in Mills. I think we did one at Olen Mills at Sears when I was younger with me and my brother. I was like leaning on like a tree trunk or something like that.

Photographers like, all right, everybody in here in the corner, like you gotta cut me. You gotta cut me, dude. Cut me down. Patty was screaming. It was a nightmare. Yeah, I don't, well't that stuff to I think I The least the way I viewed our families persp like it was like why would you waste the money doing that?

Just get the picture at the fucking barbecue like that's what we would always get one at Christmas Yeah, probably Easter and that was it school pictures But never go into a place. Also, it was a broken family. It'd be weird as my mom and the kids. We would have to do a thing. They're all just individual photos. All mugshots.

This is an silhouette of a man. Your face here. We would do that at holidays too. We would do like one with just the folies, one with just the, the, the McMan's, one with just the Ryan's, one with just the this. Now all the grandkids together. Yeah.

All that stuff. Which we were always on the fringes. Cause they weren't technical. My side of the family wasn't technically, my Aunt Mary, who was like the matriarch of my mom's side of the family wasn't technically my grandmother, but she basically was my grandmother. Gotcha. You know, uh, still make good with the Christmas presents. I'll tell you that. Yeah, she better shut up

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Listen, in your 20s with your boys, you got to spray paint them. Then you got something. No, naked, sender blocks unfinished. You got to put some kind of glaze on it. What are you nuts? I you just have sender blocks in your home right now. I walk into your house. There's a sendinder block there.

There's about eight of them. Not eight, I don't know. I should be running this operation. This is crazy. They're small. It's my wife. It's low, it's the Europeans, man. I'm about to have Cinder blocks over there.

What are you talking about? Are you talking about? Who do you think they're about Cinder block technology in Germany? They're not of Cinder blocks in Europe. Why not? Why would they? What, I don't even know what that means.

Isn't that an American thing? Actually, they have bricks. They're not of Cinder blocks today? I mean, that might make sense, but that's, I've so stupid I don't think I've ever thought of that. No, their buildings are built with Cinder blocks. Yeah, they had them 30 years before us. Really?

Yeah. Where do you find the fuck you find that? Cinder block. Yeah, they had them 30 years before us really. Yeah, fuck you fight that Cinder block that net That's all commie propaganda. That's just big concrete Yeah, of course, so you're blocking your house's no, it's like it's milk crate in your house Milk crate's bad for bricks in your house is tough Yeah, I tire in your house is tough There should be no reason a tires in your house is tough. A tire in your house is tough. There should be no reason a tire is in your house. We had one in the four year for a while.

I don't know why. What? Yeah. It was one on the back porch. I can't remember what it was. I think somebody had gotten new tires and my mom wanted to save them. Make the old job of them or something.

I let the dog chew on it. Yeah. Between fights. Yeah. Between fights. Yeah. Because for a while, it was stylish to have a inverted tire in the front yard as like a potter. Yes.

And you would slice the top of it. Sure. So it fanned out. I mean, I don't know if that was ever since. That wasn't it. In the early 80s, that was, that was in style. That was a thing with dirt bags. Sure it was yeah I'll give you that she would she painted they were painted white uh-huh we know we also had for some reason in our back

here because I kept a frog in there for a little while we had huge pieces of the ceramic pipe like like sewer main line okay It was like the size of a trash of like an outside trash can and it had that lip on it where you're connected to the other thing. I don't like soil pipe. No, I think it was a sewer pipe. Yeah, they call it soil pipe cast iron. It was huge cast iron. Yeah. I don't know why we had one of those. We had one in our backyard probably scrapping I think they did I think we stole they stole it from the construction that was still going on in the neighborhood if I remember correct fucking thieves Gonna write. Yeah, we had we had two lips and we had like a little American flag in that thing

I remember when I figured out it was a tire. I was like what the fuck who did remember did this? Who did this? I remember that, oh yeah. They were like, if you had to flip in, turn into planners on like the front porch or whatever. Yeah. We yikes. Real trashy. Welcome to the Fully's home in junkyard everybody. Yeah.

All right, this one's from Alexandria. Are you garbage if you take your baby to pet smart to look at the animals instead of going to a zoo? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. We used to go heavy to look at the pets. Back in the day, when they really, when they would, when you go into like a mom and pop pet store and they would have everything from fucking fish and

snakes and, and everything. The whole nine yards. Yeah. Even there was one in the mall and then a shamanim all we would go to. It was right in the cove as they was called critters and we would go and if we were lucky enough.

What? What? A pet store named Crit. Yeah. Let's go look at the roaches. That's what it was mostly mold. Critters. Um, welcome to pests. Welcome to varmets. You kill it. You eat it. Um, can we get a silver fish? I'll scumbag. I'll take

three minutes. Hey, three menos in a bag of mosquitoes, yeah? Yeah. Critters, that is garbage. Pretty sure it was critters. And then I think that there was some sort of, if I remember correctly, there was some sort of legal financial debacle that happened and it came back as critters too, like they had to change the name legally, so it wasn't critters. Man, well, I go smell that place that the

wood. Yeah, the wood chips. Yeah, you would always have to go. We, we, if we were in the mall, we had to go to critters and work it hard to. Yeah. And every now and then the fish tanks. Are you dead? A nice fish tank set up. That was real relax. I would love to get a fish tank. Love it. I think the smelling great though. No, I really stay on it. I would love to get a fish tank. Love it. I think they're smelling great though No, I got a really stay on it. I can't I'm not a guy who stays on stuff. They skeave the bird out. I can't do them fish Yeah, don't like fish tanks. I would love to have a fish tank in my room and go to bed at night

I don't know if I won't one in the room. I love that it's like sleeping at critters Hey, that's not a bad idea what couldn't do it now, but if you were a pet store, have sleepovers. The parents would stay, but how cool if you were a nine year old kid having a sleepover at a pet shop? You want to lock in at critters? Yeah, that's not that cool. Also, what is wrong with you if you're a parent going to sleep at critters? No.

Uh-uh. No way. He's dead sleeping at the massage chair in front. But every now and then they would let us, he would, my dad would let us take one out and like, you know, you go play in the room with one. What? What? What a puppy. Oh, man. And I think a team guy, that's like playing with fire with three kids who will start crying. Sure.

Tell to the fucking tell your mom to take them back to court. Whatever. Man, we were like real like there was one time, I remember like, can we keep them? And he's like, no. And I'm like, oh, this might have we fucking tease ourselves. Yeah, that's crazy.

Uh-huh, blue balled myself. Yeah, you never do that. But it was a good time to get him in. You never get close to a puppy dog if you're not taking it home. I know. Fucking really jammed me up. Thinking about him for the rest of your life. Uh, but I guess is a kid. We were an SPCA family. Uh, uh, I don't know where my dad got patches, but

we got rusty. We only dealt with X cons. Yeah. He was like, I have way house. Uh, everybody came from the SPCA. I remember going and going in there as a kid Was weird you go with in on it. That's a lot of pressure on a little kid You got fucking 30. Oh, I don't it. It's not like customer Especially back in the day it was like you walked into like a cell block literally It wasn't like the pain you guys on fucking death row You're in there walking the green mile looking who you're gonna fucking say I know I felt so bad. Oh my god.

I didn't do it man, they gave me a public lawyer. So things egregious. Yeah, it all jammed. Yeah, they were time. Remember walking in the get rush. And you would see some, you're like, nobody's getting him. He's done. He's he's eating an intern.

God. Buddy. They have ones where they have like signs. I don't like not friendly. Oh, take it. Yeah, not good with kids. Yeah, it's like what the fuck? It's fucking in there like lector. Get at it. It's less of an adoption more of a stay of execution. Yeah. And they're like the governor. Yeah. You know what I think of mac and cheese cheese and some rotisserie chicken. This is Lasameel. That was a fucking brutal brutal.

Yeah, well that stuck with me. I remember go walk that faint smell of dog shit and like cleaning some cleaning solution. It's just a long stretch. That's what we yank Tyler out of. Then they sent him back for a couple of days because he was being a psycho. Sounds like you got a guy. But my dad couldn't do it.

So that's up to these are my kids and that's Tyler. That's when we branded ourselves the folies as we never, we never returned pets because he did it for like a night or two and he's like, fuck, I gotta go back. Oh yeah, no. I gotta go back and get this dog. I would, that's a thing. Because he was a two time loser at that point. What do you think right in with the family?

No, but I'm saying you send them back. I put them down there with the with the sisters in the basement. It's really good. It's that I got Andy do frame. No thanks. Catch them in the laundry room. All right, let's see here. This is from Adriana, $10 homie never had a question

read. But is it garbage if your parents buy meat like a drug deal, growing up, my dad would send my mom to weird location slash parking lots to pick up meat from a guy in an escalate. Dude, if you're meat guys driving in an escalate, I'll trust a guy in a white van because that's what meat gets carded around in. Meat don't belong in an escalate. He was buying coke. That's fucking bam bam. What did you just put the air up real high? Yeah, maybe in a cooler.

In a van, we used to get the guys that sell shit in a van. A lot. The speaker guys would draw, you know, you need speakers. Ah, fuck, I forgot about those speaker guys. Yeah, the speaker guys, was we're all stolen right I Or broken or fake or something there used to be a lot more they weren't best by vans There used to be a lot more guys cruising around a suburban neighborhood in the summer We're just not in there. Yeah

Now it's solar this fucking take a walk. We used to get the guys make with the T-bones We from North Carolina We always there were North Carolina or South Carolina all the furniture and carpet guys would come up In fucking 18 wheelers and drive down the street park up and just go knock on all the doors going look come This is all the shit we have come take a look at it And they were all with they were always from North Carolina and South Carolina a lot of manufacturing then it yeah Get a love seed or something Everybody come out hopping on the trot sure. I'm doing this. He trying to get a couple of

Yeah, I remember I remember I visually can remember patty walking on the back of a tractor trailer looking at furniture I agent open it up You got paperwork for these love seats. Rubber you can do the ground between her fingers. Hey, you're the punks are looking for you got to switch play. He cutting it open. That's North Carolina. I give me two love seats in a she's wrapped this up. I'm not gonna give me two low seats in a she's like, wrapped it up. Yeah, man, I remember that shit though, big. Aaron this summer they would come in and man, you would see them.

We'd be on our bikes like in the neighborhood somewhere else. You'd see him a couple blocks away. We would do. We would ride home like we were fucking Paul Revere. The semis are coming. The semis are coming. ride-on like we were fucking pulver-beer. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha paying on a brand new love seat a couple hours. Yeah, that was big, man. That was real big. That and we had a, we had like a candy bakery guy who used to roll around and the one neighbor who we lived in Wokesbury.

It was only me and my brother was looking back on it was a little suspect, but he really had the goods. Like there was a, okay, it was like, you know, like a little suspect, but he really had the goods. Like there was a, okay, it was like, you know, like a bread truck, not a, not a, not a, not a, uh, not a brinck truck. Yeah, not a brinck truck. We're not from the town. Yeah, like a regular, unmarked bread truck.

Wait, you thought that you were going to say bread truck and I really thought you were meant, sure about that life. What are you talking? Yeah, okay. Oh, yeah, I forgot. Yeah, yeah, put this whole town on my review. Used to roll, used to show up Right next door to our house every Saturday he would be out there and he seemed like a good guy. He wasn't I could have been I could I honestly I could have blocked some stuff out Sure, but he had he had like great candy Like he had like the good fun dip. He had the good blow pops all the like the strawberries and the grapes and the watermelons and

All this stuff and then he had fresh bread in there to I think he was on the level Out of bread there you go. He's luring kids into his van with candy, but he has bread So he's on the level getting the fat kids trying to get you in there hey buddy I don't have a sweet tooth you got any amarozo's in there he swat away the skittles uh what's up with the full catcha we got to wrap it up gang gang we love you to death and we'll see you next week peace you