Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Harland Williams!

Episode Date: May 30, 2024

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast presents stand up comedian Harland Williams! You know Harland from stand up comedy, the Harland Highway Podcast, This is Not Happening, Your Moms House w/ Tom Segura, Kill Tony, Tiger Belly w/ Bobby Lee, Take Your Shoes Off w/ Rick Glassman and so much more! Thanks for watching Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast. Come to a live show! Through the Roof Tour: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Liquid IV: https://www.liquid-iv.com Promo Code: Garbage Box of Awesome: https://www.BoxOfAwesome.com/garbage  Promo Code: GARBAGE True Classic: https://www.trueclassic.com/garbage Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Calling the army of garbage! Don't sleep on those live show tickets, baby! No way! We're gonna be in New Orleans, Dallas, and Houston in about two weeks! Yep, and we also have Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, second show added. I don't. Plus all the cities on the Route 66 tour, get your tickets now at areugarbage.com. We wanna see you out there. Yeah.

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are U Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U Garbage. Oh yeah. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're good to be classy. Yeah. Throw in just a big old piece of trash. Trash R U Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's a little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it at the group to be classy. Yeah. Just a big old piece of

trash. I'm your host, A trolley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition. She's down at the barbershop getting her Brazilian done. Okay. Get ready for the summer. All right. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. Slightly amused this week. He is the CEO of R U Garbage. He is an international businessman, and he's my best pal in the whole wide world, and I love him.

Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What up, gang? Thanks for tuning in. As always, just make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. As you know, those numbers are true to Ralph.

Cookin'. And obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com slash RU Garbage. You go over there, you get up to a bajillion hours worth of content gang. Oh, love that money. How about a nice shout out to our producer, Extraordinary Old Magic Man makes us all look good. Works the ones, the twos, the threes, and the fours.

He crosses the T's and he dots the I's. Give it up for T-Bone, McScruffins, Toby McMullen, everybody. What up, boys? What up, T-Bone? Let's go, dude. Right? All time good guy, this guy. I mean, I wouldn't have the haircut I do without this gentleman.

Getting better looking by the day I gotta say. Gang the long hair ain't lying because we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. He's a very funny, very successful stand up comedian, actor and podcaster. And you might have seen him but not limited to you got meet the robinsons Ellen dumb and dumber Down periscope wagged a dog David Mamet very nice. Yeah of that half-baked There's something about Mary superstar the whole nine yards Freddie got fingered the Gina Davis show Las Vegas My name is Earl employee of the month robot chicken sausage party kill Tony Tiger Belly the Tonight Show Conan

Chicken, Sausage Party, Kill Tony, Tiger Belly, The Tonight Show, Conan, Carson Daly, The Daily Show, Premium Blend, David Letterman, Oddballs, you can hear him every week on his amazing podcast, The Harlan Highway, and he's got a brand new movie coming out very soon called Wingman. Give it up for the one the only, Mr. Harlan Williams everybody! There he is! Thank you, that was quite the menu. Lookin' sharp! Yeah, wow. Buddy, you've been killing it for a while. Oh, thank you. I've been blessed, happy, you know, I just, lucky I get to do what I love to do. Sure. Very good outlook on it. You are getting better looking. Not that you've always haven't been a good looking guy.

People are telling you that. You're aging very well. Very well. I came to do a podcast, not get hit on. To take that top off. Big awkward. I will. I will. I'm going to first guy to roll in with a can of coke, too. I respect delicious. Yeah, it's good for the gums. I mean, we're like 450 episodes. He rolled in with a half empty can of coke. That's all right. And it's warm, too That's the bonus. Found it on the street.

It tastes like elk urine. Yeah. Give us the backstory. Give us the origin story of Harlan Williams. Before I do, can I just... Please. And I don't mean to... Daddy doesn't mean to slide in here and critique you guys right out of the gate. Go right ahead. I'll fire away. But I'm about camaraderie. I'm about upping the game for my friends, for my acquaintances, my peers. I noticed in your intro you said www.com something.

Patreon. We don't do the WW anymore. That's like if someone asked for your phone number and you included the area code, yeah my number is bracket 323 bracket 925744. Let's get rid of the WWW from a friend to a friend. I'll listen, I'll take the notes, workshop some things and maybe-

Workshop, you have elves? Yeah, I'll send it up to flagpole. This is our, lose the the, just Facebook. Just go Facebook, yeah. There you go. Okay. That's just me being looking out for my guy. We appreciate it.

I was thinking of going the other way, including the HTTP source slash, bevy the, bevy Colin. Someone likes to work. I get paid per word. Welcome to Amish country. Wow. We might have some Amish listeners,

they don't know what the hell's going on To the omit they don't have like they can't listen right they don't legally I don't think legally they don't have like equipment, right? Yeah, they dabble they do yeah, you'll get some rogue Amish people rum spring is pretty big I'm sure they they consume some podcasts during rums bring it so like like they consume some podcasts during Rumspringa. So like, like, Lawrence is sneaking out into the barn in the middle of the night. And cranking up a, like a computer or something. He's on www.patreon.com slash rugarbage, Arlen.

So you just did it again, my God. You're a Canadian guy. Do you, is there Amish up in Canada? Yeah. There are. Ish. Ish, Amish-ish. Yeah. Are they like Mennonites or? They're

sort of Amish but ish. They're Amish-ish. Are they on the outskirts? I don't know if they wear dresses. I mean, Guy, I- Man, he's quick, huh? Well, if you're gonna be nosy. That was the most Canadian thing. You're going to be nosy. You mind your own business, fella. Www mind your own business. How about that? Yes. Dot com. Yes. Backslash. That's if it's Canadian.

No, replace it with dot ish. The Amish. I thought it. Yeah. Give us give us a scoop where you grew up. Oh, yeah. OK. So we were farm farm family. Really? And like we call ourselves corn people. We grew up like like crops, yeah. OK, so we were farm farm family. Really? And like we call ourselves corn people. We grew up like like crops, corn, short farming.

What part of Canada? We were in the rural part outside of just outside of a town called New Market. Is that on the east west? That's about she's about. That is some country. She's about, she's about. That is some country she's about. She's about probably, I'd say about an hour 25 north of Toronto, the biggest city. Biggest city in Canada, Toronto.

Right. So we were corn people and we ran about, I wanna say 600 acres, but it was just under. It was about. Family farm. Yeah. Was it in your family before your parents handed down. And so we were the we were corn folk and loved corn.

Were you I assume you were working on the farm at an early age. Yeah, we were always up early, early, like sometimes five in the morning. John, what were your responsibilities? Well, we had to collect the corn. We had to like my dad got me rigged up in the John Deere and it up. What were your responsibilities? Well, we had to collect the corn. We had to, like, my dad got me rigged up in the John Deere at like an early age. Oh, kid. Yeah, like, I don't know if I can get in trouble for this,

but we were sort of like, we were like underage tractor drivers. Sure. Like. I think the statute of limitations has passed. I know, but I just feel weird. Like, my dad, he's in his 90s and I'd hate to see him get arrested Mr. Williams, we need to talk. Yeah, you know punk. We're looking for he'd he'd wake us up and

Taught us how to ride the rigs around and you know, it was great I mean, it sounds like a big operation and how many how many of there were you? Four sisters for it was the only guy. Really, older or younger? I was in the middle. So I was, yeah, it was toughy. It's hard to have friends when you're out there. Sure.

This is a little embarrassing, but quirky, the scarecrow was. Well. Corky the the scarecrow was We had a scarecrow and I could sort of like you know you don't want friends when you're way out there You don't have you you're not gonna play with the girls right and my dad put this wonky Scarecrow is kind of creepy to be honest, but I nicknamed him Corky, and I would talk to him. I would go out in the corn and talk to him. It's like Canadian Castaway. Yeah, it was sort of like my,

sort of my, I don't know. Like an imaginary friend. Imaginary friend, but to me, it was very real. And I'd get mad when crows came around. Like I'd get really sort of pissed me off. I thought they were sort of taunting them and messing with them. What was the school situation?

Homeschooled. Really? Yeah. No kidding. Who did the teaching, mom? My mom did most of it, but I went to night school. So my dad, he came into my room at night and we read Curious George,

we read Where the Wild Things Are, all the books. Whoa. Yeah. I think you might be the first homeschooled guest we've had. Yeah. Up until when? Right up till prom. And then it's great.

In Canada they did grade 13, right? Okay. So grade, right up to grade 13. And then I graduated in the living room and then we I Went out into the world from there. She fucking with this. I don't know. I think you're serious. What do you mean? Wait, what do you mean up until prom? Did you go yeah in the living room? We have This me and Gorky split a limo Who'd you take the prom my mom

Hello What the? What? Who'd you take to prom? My mom. Hello? I'm not gonna take one of my stupid sisters. That'd be weird. Yeah. Were you really homeschooled? Yes. No shit. The whole way through, through high school.

You didn't graduate high school. Well, I graduated my house. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah, he got a certificate of something. Well, I got a lease. I got a deed. got a lease I got a deed yeah okay yeah from the from my parents from your parents yeah they gave you what was the highest math that you took in the house probably

like nine times ten yeah you know what you like trigonometry algebra I know academic I'll tell you that. Did you go to college? I thought angles was anal my whole life. And yeah, really. Okay. Yeah. I can't tell if you're being serious or not. I love it.

Did you go to college? I did not, no. No college? No. How do you get from the cornfields? To Los Angeles Well to being in dumb and dumber Well it when you have an audience of one who can't leave who's literally got a stake into the ground and You spend or key every sunset of your adolescence running your routine past quirky Every sunset of your adolescence running your routine past Corky

You get sharp And that Corky can be a tough critic I hear oh god We had fun. We're off the rails I like it. Okay. Was there a pond on the land? Yeah, he's lying. He's probably from Toronto Open it to bedroom. Yeah, I just wanted to have you play kaput. Okay. Yeah Yeah, how far he goes? Yeah any sports girl? What are the sports growing up hockey hockey? That's Canada I'll pass time so you played hockey played hockey my whole life position we talk in forward Okay, right or left, but I did both I would vacillate. I don't know if that's a word your Who are you playing hockey with so I played I played it I did both. I would vacillate. I don't know if that's a word your audience is familiar with.

Who were you playing hockey with? So I played, I played at my- Corky's got a risker that'll put you out. So it wasn't that, you weren't homeschooled. Hey, what now? I actually went to a hockey camp and then I played, when I moved to LA, I played in the leagues in LA. Okay.

Ice and roller. No kidding. Yeah, loved it. I played in the leagues in LA. OK. Ice and roller. No kid. Yeah. Loved it. Huh? Yeah. Loved. I love hockey. All right. Yeah. OK. Did you play hockey? Yeah. Now play lacrosse. Oh, lacrosse. Yeah, that's a Canadian game to there. You played hockey hockey growing up. Yeah. What position? Ah, right wing.

Oh, man. Yeah. What a treat. Yeah, good time. Who's your team in Canada? Who do you like? Maple Leafs? No, because they always lose. They just recently lost. Sure. So I just go after whoever's the Canadian team. And then if they get knocked out, I move on.org. You know. W.W. move on dot org, you know Ww.org All right, so you're lying about the homeschool thing, right?

I don't like to say lying. I'm not telling the truth You do have four sisters, yeah, you were Your family did have a corn farm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who you selling the corn to? He'd just take it down to the local market. Yeah, yeah. He sold, we did gourds too. Do you like gourds?

I enjoy a gourd around Halloween, Thanksgiving. Not to eat. No, they're not edible, but gourds are, my dad called them pumpkins with herpes. Have you ever seen them? Branding yeah, man, but yeah, so it was it was a good fun Childhood growing up. What was the grocery store that your mom would go to the Novart general the Novart? Yeah, I was a little little town next to our town and

Novart general store. Okay. Yeah. What was the first car growing up? My car? Yeah. What was the family car? Well, we had a Studebaker when I was a youngin'. Okay. My mom had a Studebaker.

Is that a wagon? No, no, this wasn't a wagon. Just a sedan. And then they got a Volkswagen wagon, station wagon, cause there was all the kids. And then my dad got a Pinto, a Ford Pinto. Oh shit. He got a few of them.

I don't know why. Multiple Pintos? Multiple Pintos and multiple orgasms. He used to get excited in them. He used to double up. Yeah, and so we had those. And then they had a Toyota Corolla station wagon. OK.

And then I ended up buying that off my parents for like $800 after they'd sort of run it into the ground. $800. And that was my first rig. OK. That seems pretty expensive for back then a beat up yeah 800 well the fact that they made me buy it off and bitterness and I but one point I was actually have you ever heard that magazine soldier of fortune sure and in

the back you can find like professional higher the a team yeah like hit killers hit man I literally Dialed a few and went right to the seventh number and then pull back What do you do kidnap your daughter now my dad overcharged me for a pinto Kelly you go under? Yeah, I mean they really ought to come on Pentos are notoriously dangerous to Bad like the gas tank was in the front or the It's like riding around with a loaded gun to the back of your head I didn't buy the pinto I bought the the Corolla

Yeah, I called her was it was gold like we called it the golden nugget Right. That's a pretty good. Yeah, you drive that in high school No, I drove that after when I went to college. Okay, where'd you go to college? And outside of Toronto Oakville. Okay, did you play hockey in college? No, that's when I took a break. OK. Yeah, I just focused on college. What was the major in college? Classical animation.

Really? Yeah. Is that what you wanted to be an animator? No, I wanted to be a cartoonist. OK, but they didn't teach that in. They didn't teach cartoon in any university. So I found the closest thing, which is moving cartoons, which is animation. So I thought as long as I'm drawing cartoons,

you're good. It'll be a good, it'll be a good, you know, the thing for me to do for college years. So you weren't thinking about stand up high school and college? No. It was after? Yeah, every now and then it might have flirted

and drifted into my head. Popped in your head. But it wasn't viable. I knew I was probably gonna be an entertainer. Okay. At a very early age. But I didn't know where, how, what, why, who. Gotcha.

Any of that, Yeah. Gotcha. What were the vacations like growing up? Where would you guys go? And did your dad do well with the farm? Yeah. They did good. All right. My dad was... We weren't farmers. You son of a bitch. I just wanted to give the audience

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Go garbage, do it, let's go. Really razz them with the- What'd your dad do? My dad was actually a politician and a lawyer. Yeah. Really? Yeah. And that's why the Pinto frustrated me

because my dad worked for a law firm and I asked him, I go, why do you have the Pinto frustrated me because my dad worked for a law firm and I asked him, I go, why do you have a Pinto? And he goes, I could have any car, my law firm said I could buy any car I wanted. And I said, well, why don't you have a Mercedes? And he goes, cause all I need is a Pinto. He was a very practical guy. So I sort of respected him for that,

but I was also disappointed. Cause I'm like, well, I'm like, if they're offering, take it. But he was a humble man. And then he became a politician, and the only people in Canada that were allowed custom plates were politicians. They could get the license plates at MPP, Member of Provincial Parliament.

And so here was my dad with this illustrious, could get the license plates at MPP, member of provincial parliament. And so here was my dad with this illustrious coveted license plate that said MPP on a Ford Pinto. And I'm not embarrassed or ashamed, but I just always thought, geez, dad. Cue shit up a little bit. They're offering it to you. And then he became a minister,

and then they would send a town car with a chauffeur to our house every day. Really? Yeah, he became the Solicitor General, which is equivalent to your Attorney General here. Really, wow. Of the country? Of the province of Ontario.

No kidding. Yeah, so then the Pinto shame was in the garage. Got your town car. And then daddy, you know, then it became almost a little too embarrassing because all of a sudden here's this black town car in our driveway every morning. It's very ominous. It was like sort of Secret Service-esque. Yeah, that's awesome. We're all peeking out the window and then some of the neighbors are rubbing their breasts on their window. They're getting all excited I'm a free show. All right now we're getting somewhere. All right, you thought was a pretty high-level

Canadian politician Canadian Parliament attorney general. Yeah nice Solicitor general Solicitor general and can it's a different terminology It's the same position but different title. Yeah, it was the moment cleat was the minister in government too Cuz a minister here is like a reverend or no the minister of defense You thought he got into he got into religion Yeah, the minister is just the title before the president of or whatever so no farm no quirky. No, I'm kind of upset or whatever. So no farm, no quirky? No. I'm kind of upset. Well, this is the thing I've given you a little memory to live with now. I hope you enjoy that. What were the pets like growing up? Oh, we had penthouse pets. So they were, no, we had a couple. I forgot that's what they were called. Yeah, Cherry was a family pet.

But we had a, we had a, I remember Cherry. We had a little dog named Angus. My dad brought a dog named Angus because he was a little black. Ever heard of the cow Black Angus? Yes, of course. It's a type of livestock. Yeah. It's a totally black cow.

Black Angus steaks. That's right. Yeah. And so one night, it just out of the blue, we brought a little black puppy home named Angus and we put it downstairs, and it howled and cried all night. I remember I went down,

we put him in the little bathroom downstairs, and I went and laid beside him. We had him in a box, and then the next day he was gone. And my dad said, he said sadly, he was taken from his mother too soon. He still wasn't weaned and so he still wasn't off the titty milk yet and so they took him back and

that was the end of Angus. Damn you only had him one night? One night but then later on we got a golden retriever named Duffy who knew how to keep its mouth shut. Yeah he knew how to keep his damn furry stupid mouth shut. But then Duffy about a year and a half in got some kind of weird leg disease like if you pinched his back legs one of them the muscle was all like soft and he'd yelp and ironically we had friends that did have a farm named The Legs, and we gave Duffy to the legs. And ironically, it was a leg that issue that that caused us to take Duffy to the legs.

So your dad did well, did your mom work? Yeah, my mom did everything. Really? My mom was a social worker. Even when your dad was the Yeah, she was my mother was a very giving, loving, sharing person. She was a social worker initially.

She helped prostitutes get off the street and quit heroin and drug addiction. And then she became a teacher. Then she became the president of the library in Ontario there. Wow. Accomplished family. Yeah. And then she became a writer.

She wrote some books. And she became, she did, my mom did a lot of many things. Yeah. Okay. Fantastic. Yeah. So what were the vacations like? Would you guys go on, both your parents did well? My parents, despite doing well,

this hurts me to say this, but they were sort of misers. They were sort of cheap. And I guess that kind of plays into my dad having the cheap car. They were children of the Depression and I don't think they realized it ended. Right, all right. So they sort of squandered their money. They weren't flashy people which again. I I was mixed

I love the humbleness, but I was also I was like live it up a little you only live once and to this day My dad still we go to his house He still has the dishes and spoons and glasses and pots and pans that we ate off as as kids. He still has them all. Man, does he live in the house you grew up in? No, he moved. He's old. So he moved to like a gated retirement. And what was the name of the street that you grew up on?

Elf and Dale, Elf and yeah, grow drive Avenue Crescent. Yeah. All right. So the Williams did all right. Pretty fancy. That's a nice little picture. We got there and the trips were They were frugal so we it was it's hard to believe now, but when you're kid you don't know the difference sure So they would stuff all of us the seven of us in the Volkswagen Station wagon who's the seven you us, in the Volkswagen station wagon. Wait, who's the seven? You said he had four sisters.

Four sisters and me and my mom and dad. Oh yeah, all right. Seven of us. Someone was driving. The chauffeur. He got me a gardener. I can't tell what's a lie and what's the truth. I love it.

But so they would stuff us all in one little car and we drove across Canada from Toronto to Vancouver. That's a hump, huh? Yeah, that's all, it was crazy. That's gotta be like 10 days or something, right? Oh, I think it was longer because they sort of took their time and then we'd stop, we were pulling a trailer

that you had to set up at night. And that's where you slept in there? Yeah. Like a pop-up? Yeah, pop-up, we had to, you know, we'd always get in just as it was getting dark and we'd have to put all these poles together. And I felt like 10 caterpillars in a crab apple tree.

It was horrible. Unbelievable. And when did you start working as a kid? What was your first job? Oh, my first job astronaut or something like that. I had a wishbone. My first job was at, there's a place called the Canadian National Exhibition in Toronto. It was our version of Disneyland. Okay.

There was no carnivals or rides or anything, but every summer for three weeks, the last few weeks of August to Labor Day, the CNE as they called it would open, and it was marvelous. It had all the rides and the carnies and. Big attraction. Big attraction and every kid just, you know, we didn't have anything until that. And so when I was 14, I went down with my cousin Chris,

and I said, let's get a job at the C&E. And we went down, and there was this thing called the Food Building. Okay, man, you guys are great with names. I know, everything is so straightforward. It just said food, big, giant word food, and it was the size of a Home Depot. Okay. And you'd go in, and it was the size of a home depot. And you'd go in and it was just booth after booth

after booth, like hundreds of booths of food. And I said, well go to the food building, and surely we gotta get a job at the food building. So we go to the food building and at the front doors, I got these big front doors, there's hundreds of kids, like hundreds of kids, and I got these big front doors, there's hundreds of kids, like hundreds of kids. And I was a resourceful kid, and I said to my cousin Chris, I said,

let's go around back, and I said, just follow me, act like you know what you're doing, act like you belong here. Because I knew there'd be a loading dock. So we just walked in the loading, just kind of like we belonged there. Sure. No one said a word.

We walked in and we looked at the front doors and all these kids were pressed against the glass. We got in like an hour before they let everyone else in. And we just walked up and down every aisle and said, do you need a job? Like you need workers? You're hiring, you're hiring, yeah. And me and Chris got hired at Silverwoods Dairy,

a little, probably about 10 foot wide ice cream thing where you've made ice cream and milkshakes nice and ours our first job. That's pretty good Yeah Too shabby there. Yeah, we all right ice cream. You guys do Christmas. Did you do Christmas? Oh, yeah colored lights white lights on the tree colored With the bubble lights with the ones that okay put'm in and they heat up and they bubble sure Real tree I assume real tree Canadians will grow up on a farm sure real trees. Yeah corn Those famous corn trees All right, so then so you start doing comedy in Toronto, and then you eventually move to LA

Think he's actually from Florida. I know he's Canadian. I want to know I know he's from Toronto And I know he was in Los Angeles I seen some of his pictures So that much I know is true anything else about the guy. I'm not even sure he's here. I don't think that's coconut I don't think that's Coke in that can. I don't think so. Probably milk. Elk piss. This guy's screwballed.

All right, you get to LA. Do you guys have Cokes by the way? Coca-Cola's. Or Pops, do you have any Pops? No, we don't. We have sugar-free Red Bull. Ew. Psycho.

We have- Who's your nutty friend? We might have a little bit of Diet Coke. No, this is fine. I just wondered if you had it. Are you a big soda guy? Yeah, I love pop. Really? You don't drink like multiple cans of soda a day.

I've only seen him once and he's had one. So I got to assume. Yeah, there's more. There's more of these throughout the day. Really? Yeah. Man. Can or bottle?

Whatever is available. Sure. Yeah. Is Coke your favorite? Yeah, love it. You stock it at the house? Yeah. In what, cans?

You buy the like, Cone packs? Cans or bottles. Either way, yeah, love it. Drinking regular soda. Yeah. You have any other soda other than Coke at the house? Yeah, sometimes I'll get Cactus Cooler, I like that. I like Grape Crush.

I like... Are you allowed to drink it as a kid? We're not, we were, but we rarely got it. My parents, like when we were growing up, they probably ordered takeout food, like a pizza or something, like probably 10 times in my whole life. Really?

We never got food, we never went to McDonald's. So your mom cooked all? My mom cooked, yeah, she wasn't a great cook. Okay. She's out there saving the world. No Mickey D's growing up. Rarely, like we rarely got a chocolate bar, treats, like they just, it wasn't on their radar.

They just, we never got it. That's why you're drinking soda now. I always, well yeah, I think I started to like it more as I grow older. Sure. There's a thing you should try too, which is really, really. Well, diet coke.

Well, you can do it too. I call it the beard sizzle. Like after you do like a workout or you play sports, or it's just a really hot day, it's not even just the taste. Sometimes what I'll do is I'll come back from playing racquetball or whatever, and I'll just, I'll let it drizzle through my beard,

like drip through, and you know how it sizzles? Sure. And it just like, and I'll just, I'll let it drizzle through my beard, like drip through. And you know how it sizzles? And it just like, and I'll just let it drip, drip down my chest and through my cleavage. And it just, you just feel it like sizzling, eating the Helgermite ants or whatever's in there. After a good workout, I too like to get very sticky. You do?

What are you doing later, guy? Play a little racquetball? A little picketball in a Mountain Dew bath. Gravy. Okay, I got one for you. What was your first concert? Oh, the Osmonds. Really? That's pretty good. Yeah, because my dad was a politician so they'd give them freebies. Sure. And at the CNE, the Osmonds and Donnie Osmond and his brothers, and I loved them. And so I went with my two older sisters

and we saw the Osmonds perform. That's probably the height of the Osmonds. That was the height of the Osmonds. It was unbelievable. I was in heaven, I couldn't believe it. Marie Osmond. She wasn't around them, but Donnie, Donnie was like the star and I was in heaven. I couldn't believe it Marie Osmond was she wasn't around them But Donnie Donnie was like the star and I love Donnie So yeah, that was my first concert the Osmonds. Yeah Osmonds. Yeah, okay

Yeah, what was the name of the mall you went to growing up Fairview Mall pretty good mall name Yeah, it's right up is right up the road. They built it while I was a kid It was like sir., there was nothing there and then they built Fairview Mall. That's pretty cool, I've never seen that. Yeah, and then me, and it was one of those modern malls, like two floors with, you know, anchor stores at each end. Big box stores, yeah.

And then me and my buddies just hung out there all the time and we'd get straws and we'd shoot spitballs at people. Couple of street tops. Because there was two floors, so we just... Man, spitballs are good, Todd, as a 10-year-old. Yeah. Who would babysit you growing up?

Your sisters? Sometimes my sisters, but my parents hired nannies. We had nannies at the house for a few German girls and French girls. How big was the house? Ah, three stories, basement, middle, upstairs. Five bedrooms? Four, my two older sisters had to share.

My little sisters had to share. And then I got my own room, because I was the only boy. There you go. And my window went out onto it. We added an addition and they added a family room with a flat roof. Okay. And so my window open now opened up onto that. So I'd sneak out my window every night and go sit on go take the flat roof to the pointed roof. And I'd sit on the tip of the

roof and listen to Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon and tomato and smoking doobies? No, no, just staring up at the heavens, you know, contemplating. I don't need no doobies. I didn't like the doobie brothers. It was mostly mostly Floyd. Yeah. Ah, all right.

Pretty standard childhood. Yeah. Nothing pops out garbage wise. Oh, oh, so this is like a ranking thing yeah you're doing all right you're doing all right you're doing all right here okay I already know the answer to this episode I did good healthy upbringing yeah sounds yeah to you know prominent parents are out there working, doing good. And how long were you doing stand-up in Toronto before you moved to LA? Probably about five years. Five years. Young guy, you're in your early 20s. Early 20s, I got out of college,

did about five years. Then I moved to Germany for a year and a half roughly and then I... What's that all about? What'd you move to Germany for? It was a fluke. For stand-up purposes? No, I went over there, one of my buddies in animation college, Bob, I phoned him one year to see what he was doing for Christmas. Phoned him.

Gotcha. Yeah. And he was in Germany working, doing some animation in a studio. And I said, oh, you're coming home for Christmas? He goes, no. And I go, what do you mean? He goes, yeah, I'm over here.

I go, who's with you? He goes, I'm just all by myself. So I said, oh, I'm gonna come over and I'll spend Christmas with you, you know? So I flew over, it was just supposed to be like a week, and I had just had four children's books published that I had written and illustrated. You did nice?

Yeah. Very cool. And so he hadn't seen them yet, so I took them over and I had them with me, and then I got there, and the day after I got there, he got fired. Like I went into his office the first day, and then the next day he got fired. Hey, you can't be bringing your weird buddies

around the office, man. You gotta go. Yeah, so I said to him, I said, Bob, again, I'm Mr. Industrious, right? The sneaking into the back door. So I said, I always look for openings. And I said, or opportunities, I should say. And I said to Bob, I said,

set up a meeting with your bosses tomorrow, I'm gonna take my children's book stand and see if I can talk them into doing an animated cartoon out of them. Okay. So he set up the meeting, I go in, I sat with them for an hour, they brought in a bottle of champagne,

they said, we wanna do it, I said, the only condition is you hire Bob back as my assistant. And so we got the deal. Bob got hired back. I went home, got my stuff together and moved back to Germany. And we know, yeah, we did computer animation. Yeah. Holy cow.

Yeah. Wrong. Was it like on German TV? Well, we got the pilot done and we were just about to go out with the pilot and, and we were just about to go out with the pilot, and the two guys that owned it, who were sort of younger entrepreneurs, the guys who popped the champagne,

they blew through all their money, and I do mean blew, apparently they were partying, and the whole business shut down right when we finished the pilot. So, it was just, you know, but it was sort of, it was meant to be that way because I always knew I had to go to Hollywood.

Okay. It wasn't a choice with me. Inside it was a spiritual journey that I knew I had to go there. When I got out of college, right when I got out, the first thing I did is I went to Hollywood for two days and I stood in front of the man's Chinese theater and I just said, I'm going to be back here one day. So I knew I was destined to go there. So Germany was just a stopping

point, which was amazing. It was one of the best times of my life. I loved it. But- Was there any fear of making that leap or were you looking forward like to it? No, I was excited by oh, I need to get there. Well. It wasn't in my mind It wasn't a choice or I had no say in it. I just knew I was going okay I knew I had it when I was in college in animation school. I told my buddies I'd still not done stand up or didn't even know I was gonna do it. But I remember telling them, I said,

I'm gonna be on Letterman one day. And they're like, what are you talking about? I said, I don't know, I just know I'm gonna be on. Corky knows a guy over there. Yeah, Corky's gonna book me, but I just said I know I'm gonna be on Letterman. And I didn't know how, and then eventually this whole standup journey happened. 10 years later later I was on Letterman. That's crazy. They all

called me and they were watching and they were like, remember you said that? And so it was kind of cool. Alright, that's awesome man. I love it. Cib, this is true classics. The truest of the clases. I'm not wearing a true classic right now because I couldn't find it this morning and you know what I am? What? Uncomfortable. Bozo! Because it's not a true classic. This shirt doesn't fit the way a good true classic does They're thinner when you wash them they get better They age like fine wine gang if you like looking good in the t-shirt do yourself a favor get over there to true classics You got designed to accentuate your best features. True classic shirts are tailored for a perfect fit. Snug in the arms and chest with a little bit of wiggle room around the belly.

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Yeah. Like responsible with it. Very so. I've never been in debt my whole life. I've never missed a credit card payment. Saved all that kind of stuff. Did you do anything crazy when you got your first big check? Working and working the movies or stand up. Jet ski, anything like that. Do you do any any kind of crazy shit like that?

Expensive jacket, a watch. I don't know where you're like, I spent half a check on this. I didn't need to do that. Yeah. I remember I went on a road trip with my buddy and I walked into I walked into like a like a sort of a we came to some kind of artsy fartsy town that had a lot of antique shops and stuff like that. And we walked in and there was like wooden carvings and native art and I just looked at my buddy

and I just went, money is no object! And I just started grabbing shit like I didn't even care. I bought all these little stats figurines and carvings and stuff. And then I must have said it about eight times, I just went, look at that, money is no object. And I'd just grab it and take it up. Bought a bunch of cigar stories.

And then I bought my parents a bunch of cool stuff. Like I bought my parents, you know, all those giant TVs at the time, the huge square ones, and the, or rectangles, sorry. And you know, just some stuff from my parents. That's awesome. My sisters I bought. One time my sister got a new house

and I went up and just bought her like a new bed and TV and I didn't even ask her. And she just, I I came home and was all and I don't you know I just thought it would be a fun thing to do very nice but I think sometimes when you decorate a house you're like wait that's not my style I'm getting you all this stuff I need the shark tank yeah I think she liked it but I think she was also like I want to pick that one in particular racecar bed What do we know stuff like that and then just trips and things like that? How are you gonna get your passport? Oh? My passport I didn't become a citizen till what year was Obama's first year

No, I mean passport in Canada nine like what did was the first time you traveled outside of Canada that wasn't the US Oh, thank you go to Europe or as a kid Mexico And nine, like what was the first time you traveled outside of Canada that wasn't the US? Oh Like you go to Europe or as a kid Mexico? No when I was in boarding school my roommate was from Bermuda Okay, and we became buddies and so he invited me to go to Bermuda. Okay, so when I was a little kid I went to Bermuda and stayed with his family for two weeks. So that was, but I don't know anything about passports. I don't even know if I had one, but I must have. They went around the back. When were you in boarding school? Ha ha ha.

That was- He was 38. That was from the time I was 11 to 15. Okay, so before high school. So you did boarding school. Yeah. And so. Ha ha ha. Ha ha. So he did boarding school. Yeah. He did boarding school and elementary school and then went home for high school. Yeah. Yeah.

And it was a Quaker school, too. It was run by Quakers. I went to one of those. Did you? Which one? It's called Buxton. It's in Williamstown, Massachusetts. Whoa. What was your headmaster's name? Bill Last name I couldn't tell you that's a weird It was North American India, I'm blinking on that I can't remember well mine was Harry beer

Can you believe it I went to a Quaker school and the headmaster's last name was Beer. Was it a disciplinary thing? Or like what was the... My dad said it was because they wanted me to have a better education. But I think instinctively I started to become sort of a defiant kid. And here's my dad, the politician, and I think he sensed rumblings of a defiant kid. Sure. And here's my dad, the politician, and I think he sensed rumblings of a troublemaker, and I think he sent me up there to kind of get me out. Straighten you out a little bit.

Not straighten me out, to get me out of the picture. Okay, oh. Yeah, which wasn't, psychologically was a tough thing to deal with as a kid. Sure. But as a kid, I was ahead in my years and I got it. And I think in retrospect, it made me the strong person that I am because I had to become

a survivor in an environment that was very William Golding, Lord of the Flies Ask, where you're in a tribe of unsupervised adolescent boys full of rage and anger and mischief and it's sort of, it can be a violent environment. And so I also learned not just to survive but I think I also learned how to cut my teeth on humor and wit because I wasn't a big kid.

You're a defense maker, you know. But I wasn't a big kid. You're a defenseman. But I could shut a bully down with my humor and my quick wit. And the big guys learned quickly that if they beat me up or messed with me, there was going to be payback later because I could come up with a catchphrase for a kid and have the whole school saying it within two days. And so they watched carefully. Williams is a good writer. Yeah. All right. So I know that was really just a survival instinct.

So you think you wanted to get you out of the picture so you didn't cause him any political embarrassment? I that's my suspicion. I've never had that conversation with them. But I think my instincts and I'm not interesting. I'm not bitter about it. I've I've talked to him about it. And it's just it you know, it is what it is and and So that's that's my belief because you know, I was doing just fine in school

So it wasn't about getting me a better education, right? interesting Wow quite the upbringing. Yeah. Well to do parents. Good education. Though school boarding school. OK, buys his sister things. Yeah. Never blew his money. No, no, I've been great with my money.

Except that antique shop. But hey, who hasn't been there? Sure. Do you still have any of that stuff? Yeah, I still have one of them in my living room. Yeah. Yeah. How much do you think you any of that stuff? Yeah, I still have one of them in my living room How much you think you dropped in that antique store Oh, it was it wasn't a lot, but you know remember I came from you know living hand-to-mouth Sure, and here's a wooden statue of an African pelican. Mm-hmm You know that that I thought looked cool for $400.

But to spend $400 on something that didn't give you any return except aesthetically, like you couldn't eat it, you couldn't. And when you're struggling, you usually spend your money on things that help you survive. And here was this thing that was not a necessity, and $400, but it felt good to be honest. that help you survive and here was this thing that was not a necessity and

$400 but it felt good to be honest or sometimes when you're like, oh fuck it. Let's go. Yeah feels nice What was the struggle period in Los Angeles from the time you got there to when you started booking stuff? Uh There was really no it was a fairly fast Track track now that being said the money didn't come in super quickly, but my Notoriety caught on almost immediate. I mean right the first night. I went on stage in Hollywood I got offered a TV show when I walked off stage in fact two of them. Yeah And what year is this? Sorry this was the Laugh Factory in the late 80s like 88 89 That's the height of it

Yeah and that was when they were doing a lot of these like evening at the Improves and you know the the stand-up comedy shows gotcha So I went up and when I walked off I'd like two producers ran up to me you want to be and I was just like You know, there's seven years in Canada with nothing, and here's seven minutes in LA, and I get two TV off, and it just sort of went from there, you know, I'd be doing shows, and you know, Bob Odenkirk

walked up to me after a show one night, he goes, you wanna be on Conan? You're hilarious, and I went, okay, and then Bob got me on Conan, you know, and it just kept going, so. Wow, that's all right. Nothing stopped, but then Bob got me on Conan, you know, and it just kept going. So nothing. All right. Nothing stopped. But but then the money caught up to as things started to get development deals, et cetera, et cetera, deals, holding deals, holding deals, movie.

It was I was sort of spoiled because I didn't have to audition for much. Like my first acting gig was I auditioned for Ellen DeGeneres had a TV show called These Friends of Mine I think it was called it was her first sitcom before the Ellen sitcom. So I did a guest star on that me and Molly Shannon were the two guest stars and then my next acting gig I got offered the lead in my own sitcom called Simon and Jason Bateman played my brother so it just did everything happened really fast. I love that man. It goes back to your thing you're calling of being there it's Barry Kismet of like all right I'm here and then

you still got maple syrup on your hand. I still have maple syrup and manatee grease on my knees. He's got Coca-Cola in his beard to give him a goddamn TV show. Why does he have manatee grease on his head? Yeah. Yeah, that's nice. But that plays into what I said. I never had any anxiety. And not to sound cocky about it, but I never

had any anxiety or fear. Or I just, it's like I said I I foresaw most of it you know and it made it very stress-free I know Hollywood can be very like but I never worried I just I just somehow could feel it was coming which sounds it sounds almost you know pretentious but it's just the no it's that doesn't come off is that it comes off as you know like you said like yeah calling in you of like I need to Yes, I have to do this. Yeah, that was it. Yeah, and I love it. Oh, yeah, all right Then you were cooking after that you started you started cooking. Yeah, things cash is coming in your book and work

Yeah, just really good stuff kept kept doing things Did you keep it humble as far as like the living situation, the car? Like I'm talking like mid 90s. Did you have like a house in the hills where you drive in a Beamer? Well, when I was in college with my buddies, I told them, I said, you know, somebody's got to float around in a pool all afternoon and make love to gorgeous models and live in a nice house in the hills. And that was all part of it.

You did it? I got a nice house with a pool and, you know, I didn't go nuts with the cars, but I got the cars that I wanted. Gotcha. Which were what, if you don't mind me asking? I got, I love pickup trucks. So I had like big Dodge Ram pickup trucks.

I could throw my hockey gear in the back and go play hockey and yeah, it was great. That's amazing. Yeah, so it wasn't like a Ferrari guy. It's funny, because I could have bought them, but to me they just seemed like too much maintenance. And I didn't like the, I guess maybe it's a bit of my dad creeping in.

I didn't like, I didn't want the attention. maybe it's a bit of my dad creeping in I didn't like I'll take the With the custom license yeah So you say you could have bought Ferraris so you were you're you're cooking cooking. Oh, yeah, I could have bought four or five Ferraris House after so LA in the 90s for you was a good time. Yeah Yeah, it's awesome. Wonderful. Yeah Yeah school man. Yeah, what was that? What was the first? This is more of just me here What was the first movie was it dumb and dumb and dumber? Yeah, yeah Yeah, and that was so iconic you're in that obviously yeah, no, I'm just fanboy, but yeah, that's that is like fucking Yeah, that was pretty pretty I had no idea it was gonna be

To be honest when I read the script I didn't think it was funny like I was just like yeah, and then you know you go see it and that that Tells you the power of a true strong comedic person like nowadays They make comedies and they'll put who's ever hot, like a wrestler or a rapper or totally miscast but then you decide to take a comedy script and put a guy that's 100% high octane comedy, Jim Carrey, and you can't stop it.

And that's like Mike Myers and Austin Powers. Like these were the right guys for the job and these people in Hollywood nowadays, oh, let's get that guy because he has a hot rap song. Or let's get that guy because he's great in WrestleMania 3. Like it's just, it's so sad to see. And not only that, you're depriving the audience. You're depriving these incredible comedians

of having a chance to flower. You don't see a comedian. You don't see a comedian, you don't see a comedian doing a rap movie. You don't see a comedian doing a wrestling movie. Like, leave the comedy to the comedians, you know? But they've ruined it because they just think, oh, this person's popping right now, we'll make money.

But meanwhile, who goes back and watches those movies? But people will always go back and watch Austin Powers. And Dumb and Dumber. And Dumb and Dumber. And even Jerry Lewis. Like you wanna watch a comedic artist show his art. And that's what I mean. Not that the script was horrible,

but it didn't make me laugh. But then when I saw Jim bring it to life, I was like, wow, what a, and the same with something about Mary. I just, I didn't really see the, I didn't really laugh at it, but then when Ben and Matt Dillon, wow.

Man, Matt Dillon and that. It just brought it to life, you know? And then, I also, I forgot you were in that, I mean, you've been in so many things. I know, it's weird. And then when you said it, your character popped in just you've been in so I know it's weird I know when you said it your character popped in my head. I was like oh And the Farrelly brothers to obviously

Comedy directors there that's there a lot of times the same thing you get directors that Comedy is not their niche, and it's like put people in their lanes I'm not saying don't give other people a chance, But you know if you like the pros do what they yeah Yeah, just watch something about Mary not that long ago, and it's crazy to see I can't think of think of his name But he played the therapist he was the dad and stepbrothers. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's a great. He was an e-pre love Yeah It's so long like that was that would felt like so long ago And like only like the last few years is he

Really got like a really big like, you know poppin and a lot of steady stuff. I can't think of his name He's the dad and step brother. He's a great actor. Oh the bad very intense Yeah, and he can vacillate between comedy and drama really well. Yeah, that's it That's a rarity, but he's very good tonally Richard Jenkins Richard Jenkins Thank You Tia amazing um let's get this I want to get to some are you garbage right yeah yeah what so I want to get to some are you garbage oh find out about you so those were all the are you that was the backstory I was oh okay the craziest one we've ever had sure but that was the backstory. Yeah. Okay. What about my front? Where do you like to go on vacation now?

Everywhere are you a single guy married single my my my take on? Vacations is you know when you buy a house, do you go in every room or do you leave some of the doors shut? And that's your world, your house. So I look at the globe as my planet and it's full of doors and so I want to go in and see as many doors as I can. Great answer. So I've traveled all over the world extensively.

Okay. I just got back from the Galapagos Islands like two months ago. Are the turtles as big as they say? Oh yeah, they're huge. Yeah. I mean, I didn't see any leatherbacks, which are the biggest of the turtle species, but I swam with, I was surrounded by sea turtles holding their flippers, like just stunning, beautiful. Now when you, obviously, are you doing adventures

like that everywhere you go? Like wherever you go, you're doing the... Or do you just go and sit on a beach somewhere? No, no, I like to be interactive. I like to really... Your zip lining or whatever. I like to, I like nature. I like going in nature and seeing nature. Are you doing this solo or are you

going with a friend or somebody? I do a lot of it solo, but every now and then I'll go with someone. But I find it's inhibiting when you go with someone. Of doing it now, you want to do it. Yeah, there's always that, oh, we should go zip lining, but they probably don't want to. Or I don't know.

I like the company, but I find there's a higher level of adventure when I go on my own. I'm totally uninhibited, and I take my dolls with me everywhere I go, and I film them. So they come with me on my adventures. You're dolls? I have these two dolls.

They look like Ken dolls. I call them tender frienders, because they very tender and they have they have white underpants on the bar and they're they have black loafers and so so I took them to the Galapagos yeah and they've been to've been to... It's also, I didn't realize that. I'm just taking it. I'm taking everything he says. He sucks you in. The Galapagos Islands is a... He's got turtle vids on the gram. Galapagos Islands checks out.

That could be an aquarium. I've been decaying it. He could have been setting this up all week. We don't know. It goes deeper than I thought. But I could also see you taking dolls with you on those strips. Yeah. Just... I have them with me in New York.

I have them in my suitcase. We'll need photos to prove a life. That also makes me think the hotel you said you're staying at isn't really where you're staying at. Yeah, it is. Can you show me the room key? Okay, alright. Alright. Okay, all right. All right. Room number 742-119-863-POR2-D2. Come over if you're nasty.

So you travel the world by yourself? Well, with the dolls. Of course, I forgot. And they go on adventures with me. And I shoot them. I did last year, I took them to Japan. They went to see the snow monkeys. I had them out on the bullet train.

And what do you do? You post these photos? Yeah, they're on my Patreon. They're movies. I make movies on my Patreon. Www dot Patreon. Not do the W thing. Oh, get on that. We're going to find out what we're dealing with here. Yeah. Patreon.

And they're called the Guys in Their Underpants because they have white boxers and black loafers. Okay. You know, do I have my phone here? Where did I put my, here it is. I could see him being serious. Oh, yeah, for sure Ken. I'm not sure, but I think so.

Let's see, I might have a video of them in the Galapagos I can show you. Surfing on a turtle. Let's see here. Where are you fellas? It's too funny man. Toby's fucking looking for it. Toby's joining the Patreon.

Are you doing cooking at the house? Oh. Are you ordering takeout? What's going on? Oh hold on. are the dolls cooking? Here's a here's a picture of the guys in London England looking at Big Ben with English muffins on their head Oh, he's very yeah, no he is they are dolls in their underwear. He one looks like Freddie Mercury Yeah, one I had to draw mustache. I want kids are exactly the same So one talks like this and the other one's very tender

Okay, it talks like this and they have English muffins on their well cuz they're in England. Yeah I was just saying it for the audio all right. I was about to say Not that that's not fun, and I don't love it that man look at this guy, but it's still at the heart of it. Yeah You are traveling around the world Educating yourself. Yeah doing these adventures. Yeah, you you have the world as your as your as your oyster As you say your living room. That's pretty classy Despite the two toys Well, yeah, no, it's you know, I always said I want to live this life and see see my environment

Mm-hmm, you know, I've been to the Amazon been to the Taj Mahal. I've been to the pyramids all that here I've been inside the pyramid too. I've been Everest I've been to really I've rode elephant back through Nepal looking for tigers I've been in them on the volcanoes of Rwanda with the mountain gorillas I've been everywhere see in harland-williamson vacation with your family look over harlan-williamson's there with two dolls it happens yeah it's sort of fun that's where I realized the reach of movies oh of course I'll go to these remote places I was was on Easter Island,

and the villagers brought their kids and asked me to kiss them on the cheek because I was Rocket Man. No. And it was just like, that was when I first realized the power of movies. And people, I'd be in India, I'd be here, I'd be there, and they'd be like,

and I did that. You know, it's one thing to get recognized at the mall in Cleveland. The airport. But when I go to the mall in the Easter Islands, the second most remote geographical spot on the planet to get recognized in these obscure places, it was it really was an eye opener. It's wild. So you saw the guys, you saw the heads. Oh yeah, I took a piece, I take a little piece of every, like Machu Picchu, I have a piece of it.

Ooh, I'd be scared to do that. Yeah, I take a little memento from, I scraped a piece off the Taj Mahal. You know, I took, you know. Really? Yeah, I take a little piece, physical piece of where I go with me And I put them in in a shadow box so that there I have memories of all these places and things and yeah Yeah

Deep yeah deep and delicious cake by McCain Trucks are what are you driving around you driving around now? I have Tesla's And you got the trucks are what are you driving? Are you driving around? I have Tesla's I got in early. I'm on my fourth test. I get a three-year lease Okay, because the technology is moving so quickly sure so every three years. I get a little treat I get the new you know the new exciting yeah, and you got that you got you let your primary residences in LA you live at in LA Yeah, that's one of my houses How many where you got houses? I have three houses love this Yeah, I forget who we're talking to yeah

Where are the other one I'm not gonna Yeah, of course, let's just say they're very remote nature and Completely opposite of Los Angeles. Okay, love that. Yeah. Okay, do you cook at home for yourself when you're at the house? I do a little.

When I'm at the other place, I do because I have to. There's no. The remoteness of it. Yeah, it's an island. So it's, I have no choice. But. It's probably the North Pole or something. I know, dude. But the other, in LA, I cook a little bit, I have no choice But it's probably the North Pole or something

But the other in LA I cook a little bit, but just a little bit So what is he going out or I like to go out I like to go out and eat You know and I like to get deliveries are you a foodie or going out to like nice new restaurants I like both. I like I like a good lobster dinner like a fancy dinner I also like an in-N-Out burger. Like I mix it up. Did you used to go out in LA back then? Would you go to the Viper Room and hang out on the scene like that?

No, never. Never did any of that? No. Would you go to Nobu? There was one portion in my life where I did it for about a year and a half. I went through some personal, I had a bad breakup. I was divorced. And that

was the most painful part of my whole life. And one of my buddies who was sort of in tune with the scene, like the clubbing and that, he sort of detected I needed a distraction. I was sad, I was very broken up about it. And so he kind of said, hey, come out with me. It wasn't a world I was familiar with at all. And so for about a year, I immersed in that a little bit. Not a lot, but. I got you.

And it was super fun, but at the end of the day, it's just not my vibe. Not who you are. Yeah. I remember. You can't do beer bongs with Mario Lopez every night. Yeah. Yeah. No. And who's your crew out there? Who do you roll around with? Uh, I have, uh, just a small group of buddies that I like, uh, girlfriends and guy friends that, that I, I stay close summer in the comedy world, but most of them are maybe actors and and just Have buddies that I actually went to college with gotcha still I'm close with and you guys are go to dinner

You'll do some stuff any vacations with them you ever go away with friends. Uh, yes, sometimes I'll do that a little bit or they'll come see me at my other place or go fishing and stuff, but... I like that. Yeah. So... And did you order a takeout?

You getting takeout to the house or you going out? Both. Okay. Yeah, I'll get takeout or I'll go out or... Would you have... Drive myself there? What'd you have for breakfast this morning? Your wife?

Are you married? Oh, thank God he's engaged. I just went to the had breakfast at the hotel I was at because I sort of in a rush. So yeah, eggs and bacon. Yeah, bacon and eggs over medium over medium. Yeah. And I like turtle eggs. I get turtle eggs. Danger, endangered turtle eggs I get turtle eggs endangered turtle eggs delicious I mean I you know you brush your teeth in the

shower I have but it's not common will you pee in the shower oh yeah pee in the shower yeah you ever left a bad Yelp review anywhere I've never I don't really even know what Yelp is that's's good. Good answer is the house Like decorate it like do you have like? Like matching silverware matching plates all that kind of stuff Did you have someone come in and do it like hey, I just asked you said you're a single guy Yes, well, I'm an artist so I have a good sense of tone okay, and and matching things and So people often ask me if someone did the house when they come.

Really? I do everything myself. This guy's classy. And I I'm very meticulous about it. I I won't just go out and carpet bomb the house. I will spot decorate like I'll see a corner or I'll have a vision for a couch or a piece of furniture and I will wait sometimes a year or year and a half until I see it and go yes that's that's what's going to fit there so in the end it makes for you know it looks it looks good

did you buy the house or did you build it I bought the house yeah redo it when you moved in proportions of it. Yeah, okay Yeah, you got a pool now. Yeah pool. Yeah, hot salt water or fresh water or fresh fresh. Yeah What's the refrigerator sub z Viking? What are we using in the house? Is it stainless steel yeah stainless steel okay? If we came over to your house right now, and we asked you for a glass of water Sure, yeah, you can if we came over and and you said hey, do you guys want a glass of water? What would you be giving us? Would you be giving us a bottle of water? Would it be tap water? No, a bottle

I've never drink tap water never well think of it, you know Think about all the animals on the planet. Think about cancer and human related diseases. You ever seen a grizzly bear with leukemia? You ever seen a wolf with a tumor? You ever seen a Siberian tiger with lung cancer? Now cut to your domestic animals. They've got tumors, cancer, all these ailments that us humans have. What's the common thing that we share? We don't share their food, but we give them tap water

every day of their lives. So I'm just saying, is there a correlation? Something seems weird with tap water, so I stay away from it. Is your refrigerator lined up and, like and you keep the house neat and clean? You love my refrigerator. He loves all refrigerators. I do keep my house clean. I do have a cleaning lady that comes every two weeks, but I like it to be clean.

He's a very calculated guy. He is, man. In a good way, not in a good way. You're thoughtful. I'd say yes, but there's a side of me. That's very Spontaneous and uncalculated so I like the excitement when they merge or king-size bed Yeah, California You fall asleep watching TV or when you go to bed you go to bed no I used to I used to fall asleep Mostly I'd put on the soundtrack to Blade Runner

Okay, the original Blade Runner if you've ever heard a tangerine dream or no Vangelis did the did the soundtrack and I got very Ethereal and anyone who's having sleep issues Listen to that album and it will put I rarely get to the second or third song It's beautiful. I can see that. Yeah, I can see. Yeah, it's amazing Yeah What a what a ride? Yeah classy guys

That was a wild ride right there my friend started off a farm, an hour and a half outside of Toronto. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Harlan Williams. Thank you. You can hear him every week on his amazing podcast, Harlan Highway, and you got Wingman coming out. Wingman's a movie I wrote, directed, and I'm starring in, and we just finished editing it like on three days ago, and I don't know when or where it's coming up, but look forward to it. It's awesome Edgy comedy yeah great big fans. This was so much fun

Can't thank you enough kippy. What do you got for him guys? We're all over the road? Tour dates tickets for the route 66 tour all available at our you garbage calm check it out gang We love you, and we'll see you next week peace