Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Harland Williams Returns!

Episode Date: April 17, 2025

Are You Garbage presents comedian and podcast host Harland Williams! We're talkin' Power Lunches, Fishing with the Fonz and tales of Hollywood's past. You know Harland Williams from stand up comedy, the Joe Rogan Experience, the Harland Highway Podcast, This is Not Happening, Your Moms House w/ Tom Segura, Kill Tony, Tiger Belly w/ Bobby Lee, Take Your Shoes Off w/ Rick Glassman, You Be Trippin' w/ Ari Shaffir, TigerBelly and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Upside: Download the FREE Upside App and use promo code ayg to get an extra 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas. Helix Sleep: Go to https://helixsleep.com/garbage for 20% Off Sitewide Pestie: For 10% off your order, go to https://pestie.com/ayg - all lowercase. Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gang, the 2025 edition of the RU Garbage card game, third edition is on sale right now at RUGarbage.com. Play with your friends, play with your family, and see who is trash. Yeah, we got over 50 questions right here. Was your babysitter a man? Hit me. Yes he was. Ever been run over? How you doing? Yes I have. Can you pick up stuff with your toes?

Yes I can. Gang, available at RUGarbage.com and they're shipping in a day or two. Get on board Welcome to another exciting edition of RUgarbage The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley Hey Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage.

It's that little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's good to be classy. Yeah. But they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host H. Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties in a new edition. She just made a little breakfast. Okay, Newport 100 and some cooking wine That's not bad. It's gonna be a short day. Okay that right now my co's is coming at you from right next to me

He is the CEO of are you garbage? He is an international business man, and he's my best pal in the whole wide world I love him. I don't care who knows it give it up for KJ Kevin everybody. Ah thank you very much. Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you're ready to subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also full video now available on Spotify over there. Part of that program. Go check that out and patreon.com slash rug garbage gang. All the fun happens there. Yes sir and we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly and I mean and we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today. One of the few, believe it or not, to come up classy.

Put us through the wringer. In the RU garbage algorithm, don't let the sun-kissed coffee and can of Coke fool ya, or the MacGyver leather jacket that he walked in. Give it up for the one, the only, Mr. Harland Williams, everybody. Yeah! Look out! Thank you. I mean, he just said, it was like he was doing panel. That was good. Thank you. Give it up for the one the only mr.. Harland Man he just said I think he was doing panel

Guys a gosh darn, bro. Thank you So the last time you were here we went back and did our research we you know we had our data entry team Go back and pull all the facts from the last episode, and they said you were a big Coca-Cola slash maybe diet coke kind of guys we went out and got you some we go When I got you a can of coke and he can't a doctor he's a soda man And he came in with his own bottle of sunkissed and I go do you want a coke he goes I got some sunkissed in my Bag I'm gonna have but bring the coke in case I want a double tip very Harvey picar Yeah, Harvey picar big big big soda guy big soda guy yeah comic no he was a comic book artist did some very obscure kind of Gen X style comedy I can't even

hear myself is that bad? We're not even doing a podcast right now. I like my voice. He's having a stroke with a lot of sugar. Let's see how about that. Are his headphones on? I really like my voice. You're having a stroke with a lot of sugar. Let's see. How about that? Are his headphones on? I really like my voice. Can you hear us? Yeah, I can hear you. Oh, there we go. There you go. Thanks, Tim.

Well, that's new guy Tim. Charlie. New guy Tim's all right. By the way, what does it take to become like a piece of garbage? Like, I guess I should have asked before I sat down. Like, how do you qualify? You shocked us.

He just turned the show on us. You shocked us a little bit. Uh huh. I did. I thought you're gonna be a little more trashy. But you're, you know, you're well traveled, well traveled, well educated, come from good stock. Yeah. Very smart with your money. Good amount of cash. Good amount of cash. So does not great, you know, yeah yeah give an indulgence but what makes you garbage I would have to argue two sodas on the table two different sodas on the table at the same time is is a step into the garbage realm okay so I'm sort of

litter heading towards garbage you're an old Big Mac rapper okay good outside the trash can I love it But we do have we do have some quick did you want to do anything? I was just gonna ask him how the flight in was. Okay. Oh it was great we only crashed twice. Those are good numbers. Yeah as long as we get here it's fine with me. You fly up front I assume? Gentlemen such as yourself? Yeah I'm a cock pick guy. I like to look out the front window. Now I know why you crash twice. Yeah, that's probably about right there now.

Okay. Huh. Yeah, no, I like to sit right up front. I like to know who's flying my rig. I like to know, get personable with the captain, the co-pilot, and just chit chat. I feel like I'm befriending them so that they're invested more in getting me there safely. We gotta get Harland to RU garbage, you know what I mean? Like if I'm sitting back in the fuselage, in ambiguity row I call it, where they don't know me,

I don't know them. I wanna be flying with a guy and make eye contact. Sure. And sometimes I even play Ario speed wagon. I can't take this feeling anymore on my phone while we're making eye contact. And I usually get there in pretty good shape. The fuselage just sounds bad. Sounds like you're not going to make it. You only hear it during a wreckage. Like we've located the fuselage. It's never like, Hey, I'm sitting back here. It's great. And the fuselage, Yeah, we're like hey. I'm sitting back here. It's great in the fuselage It's a really weird word and by the way. It's also a sex act in West Hollywood

Now if you are on a plane and you're back in the fuselage as you know he's not he's flying up front What do you touch guys got cage still the fuselage even the first class is a fuselage? I believe right well you will you ding the bell to let, you know, if you want another, you know, sun kissed or so? Will you call them over? Do you wait till they make the rounds? It's funny, on the flight up here I had to ding the bell like four times because the, you know, I haven't been drinking Coke all year. You said you've been doing pretty good. I've been off Coke since January, only had ten.. Since January. I've only had ten but on the flight I sort of broke a little. Okay. It was a morning flight and so I dung the lady, that sounded wrong, that sounded like a German movie. They threw me off the plane. I dung the lady but I

dung her and she just sort of ignored it so I wasn't gonna wait. When you get a coke fix you need it so I dung her again and then I dung her again. I think I dung her and she just sort of ignored it. So I wasn't gonna wait. When you get a Coke fix, you need it. So I dung her again and then I dung her again. I think I dung her four or five times. Really? Right in the fuselage. Yeah. That's a lot of dunging.

Yeah. Were you taken off or anything like that? No, we were midair but she was just sort of, she was, it was very interesting. I have a hat that says, be a good human. And it's a blue baseball cap. And everywhere I go, people are like, they go out of the way to say great hat.

And when I walked in, this lady, she just went, yeah, good luck finding one of those. Oh. Like right out of, and I thought she was goof. And I was like, yeah, yeah, but everyone, she's like, just like not like scowling. Is this the flight attendant? This is a flight attendant. The same flight attendant that you had to dung four or five times.

And so she was just not loving her life, I think. And so I had to dung her five times. Like I dung her real deep. And yeah, so it took it took a lot. Funny you brought that up because usually it's dung and done Yeah, but this was dung and not done. They recognize you on the plane walking to the airport. I'm sure people stop you Hey, let me get a pick. Yes, and that's it sounds snobby But that's part of the reason why I do sit up front because it's it's a bit Confining in the fuselage you're sort of trapped and what happened... You don't want to be back there with the heathens. I get it.

No, no, it's not that. Amen, brother. What happens is when one person asks for a picture, then it sort of causes a chain reaction and next thing you know, and it's very sort of, it's flattering but it causes anxiety. So I just try to sit up front just so I can just sort of have a little bit of privacy and yeah. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Now, do you get that somewhat because you're you know you're very recognizable you've had a great career like even just not even the pictures

are they but you're out to dinner does the waiter say that like hey big fan do you get that a lot? Yeah they know who you everybody pretty much has can recognize you. Yeah I get a lot of that. Sometimes they even sit down, which is, I'm not even joking. You done with this mozzarella stick? I've had waiters where they just, they get so ingratiated with you, they just slide in. And I've had it even when I've been with people. Like they just, I was at one restaurant where I literally used to go to, in LA, the Wolfgang Pox, and I loved it. You're a bit of a foodie we've learned last time. You feel like a nice restaurant.

Foodie's a weird term. Whenever I hear a woman go, I'm a foodie, I go, well, in my day we just called him a fatty, really. That's tomato. Good way to cover up eating a lot. I'm a foodie. Yeah, you look like you're a foodie. Sounds like you like having sex with a duck breast.

You say a foodie. Yeah. Which do you like a foodie sounds like you like having sex with a duck breast Feel like a duck breast. I like it if the areola eyes are brown I don't like pink areola eyes on my duck breath South American duck. Yeah Hold on wolfgang pucks. We forget about this now that We love the you know, we love the you know, we're very nostalgic when it comes to Hollywood around that time Yeah, you were there. Yeah, do you remember when Wolfgang's opened like you were going? He's in the cockpit. Were you going there in the 90s? Yeah, that's what I was saying I would go there all the time and one of the waiters

He would literally sit down with whoever I was with and start talking to us. And the first couple of times, I was like, hey. And then it was, he'd not only sit down, but he'd stay for like five, six minutes. And I literally had to go to the manager and say, look, I don't want to get your guy in trouble. He's a great guy. We love coming here, but it's very uncomfortable. I said, if you don't tell them to back off, we're not coming anymore. And can you just please talk to him in a nice way?

We don't want him to get fired. He's sort of overstepping the boundaries. And we went back and it didn't stop. So we stopped going there. It was, the guy was nice, but he just had no filter. He didn't realize he was really sort of imposing on an intimate moment, you know? Of course.

Especially if you're having like a business thing or something. Yeah, business or with family or friends or it was just like it didn't matter. He just popped down and a real chatterbox like just on and on and on. And we were just like, can we get this, you know, the scallops please guy? He says, can we get more bread around here? You're also, which interests me, from the time when, like, you know, as you were popping off, certain executives might want to work with you

and stuff like that. They take you out to a dinner like that. Get a wine and dine. Yeah, it's nice to be taken out and spoiled a little bit when you're- Like the head of Sony, your CBS, or something like that takes you out. Now, when you would be in that situation,

if an executive would take you, we want to be in the Harlan Williams business. Yeah. And they take you out now when you would be in that situation if I can executive would take we want to Be in the harland-williams business. Yeah, and they take you out back in the day Would you be back knowing that they're gonna pay they're gonna pick up the check? Would you be banging them out or were you pretty? No, I would kill I was I'm a big lobster guy and there's a place in LA called the palms of course I'm restaurant. Yeah, so I so I would get them to take me there because I thought, you know, they got, studios make 300 billion a year.

Of course. You can get a goddamn lobster. I'm gonna get a, so I would take them to the, I would ask them to take me to The Palms and we'd get a lobster. And it was really great because a lot of, I remember I went there once and Chris Farley was there eating.

I went there once and the guy who plays Freddy Krueger was there eating and you should have seen him cut his steak. Oh my God. He just flayed it. Yeah, but Robert England. That's right. Yeah, that is pretty cool.

It was a good spot and you don't feel bad when when you know, they're they're whining and dining you. So why not do it? Nice, you know, you don't get that every day. So as a comic back then, that was somewhat of a fallout, somewhat of a flex to you would want to go to where other comics might be having dinner. It's like, oh, look, Harland's having dinner with Robert. Robert Everett. I didn't care about any of that.

I just liked a good lobster. It was hard to find in L.A. That's why you're classy. You're right up the middle. Yeah. Do you still like a nice lobster classy. You're right up the middle. Yeah. Do you still like a nice lobster? I love it. I love it. I went yesterday to Luke's Lobster here in New York.

Wow. Really? Yeah, I got a lobster roll. Yeah, I love it. Okay. It's weird because they have it at the subway station. It's a little fast fooding to be honest with you. It's odd to be eating an expensive lobster as a subway screeches by and it smells like a Dutch oven.

It's just like, you know, people walking by and you're sitting there eating a lobster. It's very peculiar, but it's like, you know, having an omelet upside down in a helicopter. It's just like bizarre. That would be a frittata. Yeah, a frittata. Where do you like to get a lobster in LA?

Like where's the one place you're going in LA, you're like I'm getting the lobster here. Well it was the Palms, but they shut it down recently. So now- The Palms closed in LA? With all the pictures on the wall and all that stuff? Yeah and they even had my picture up there at one point. So I was really- Whoa!

My manager took me one day and we sat down and we were having the lobster And he just goes look up and I look up and there's my face looking down that they the artist would draw Yeah, that's big and to me that was bigger than having a Hollywood star of fame You know just to have have my face watching people eat was really fun Yeah, yeah Is there anywhere else your picture is? A pizza place that you know of? A pizza place? A barber shop? Something dry cleaner or something like that? I think it's at, you know, a lot of comedy clubs but my favorite moment. Yeah,

they're headshots. When I was in. Tim's got his head up. Tim's got his head. Tim likes head. I was starting out in Hollywood and things were just sorta getting going. And you know, you're kind of a nobody till you're somebody. Near my house, there was a Blockbuster video. And they had a parking lot, and on the little, like the little cement blocks

at the front where you pull in, a little block, they had people's names. on the little cement blocks at the front where you pull in. Sure. They had people's names. And one day after I'd been going there for about two or three years, I pulled in. And my name was on the thing. And that made me so happy. That's amazing.

It was really weird. You're in your car ready to kill yourself. Yeah. You see that, you're like, all right. All right, I made it. Blockbuster parking lot. Hollywood, baby. You ever meet Carson?

You ever meet Johnny Carson? I never met him, but I was fortunate enough to go and see the taping of two of the shows in Burbank. Because I had just moved to LA when he was sort of wrapping up. I think he was in his final three years. Yes. And I knew that I wasn't there long enough

to get on the show, but I thought I at least wanna see it. So I got someone to help me get tickets to go in, and I got to sit there and watch him twice, like come through and do it. So that was pretty special. That's amazing. Something else back then. And then I did Star Search way back in the day

and Ed McMahon was the host, so that was like the next best thing. You were on Star Search? Yeah. How'd you do? This is before everything, right? Yeah. This is before the movies and all that stuff?

Yeah, yeah. How did you do? My first showing, I did, I got a perfect score. What? Yeah. And then my second showing, I got a perfect score except What? Yeah. And then my second showing, I got a perfect score, except for one judge decided he hated me and gave me the lowest score.

And so I lost to another guy by like a third of a point or something. Who was that guy, do you remember? He was a DJ from San Francisco, and the producers stopped the show. That they came up to me and they said, Harlan, we stopped the show. I go, why?

He goes, this has never happened before. We asked the judge if he made a mistake because everyone loved you. And I said, well, what happened? He said, he just didn't like you. For whatever, whether my shirt was green or something. So he kind of blew it for me, but it was interesting. The guy that I beat on my first round

was the guy that ended up winning the whole thing, which was weird because they added up all the points and he had won like three or four in a row. I knocked him out because of his accumulated points. So in a way, I beat the guy that won the whole thing. None of it made sense. And who was that guy? Was it somebody that became famous?

Yeah, he's this redheaded, I think he's a Scottish guy. You might know him. He does this whole thing where he does a PowerPoint presentation, tall, redheaded guy. I forget his name, but his whole bit is he does a PowerPoint, and he's very funny. He's not Harlan Williams, though. No, I don't even know if i am man this just

got meta yeah do you know who that host was or the the judge by any chance i don't know it was a it was a guy as a dj african-american guy from harvey fires from from san francisco and he just didn't like something i did just and all the other judges gave me a perfect score, and he gave me the lowest one you could get, so I was kind of a bummer. That would have been big at the time. That's 100 Gs, I believe.

It was, and I was sort of, I was like taking chances, and I remember I did two new bits that I'd never done on my second outing. Like I did two new bits that I'd never even tried in a comedy club, so that probably wasn't the smartest thing, but I still did all right overall look at you. Yeah, that's why you're classy my friend Oh, jeez for all those reasons, okay despite buzzing the lady, which you should have brought you a goddamn Still not garbage yet. Oh, do you wait to the end of the show? That's one star sir. Yeah, I almost one star search.

I don't think that that ruling's not gonna change. I don't think. I mean, we'll see. Kip, let's talk about Upside. Shut up, Upside. Gang, one of the smartest apps you can have in your phone in 2025 is Upside. Upside gives you the power to earn more on the stuff you buy all the time, whether you're filling up your tank, going out to eat, or shopping for groceries,

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to get an extra $0.25 back on every gallon on your first tank. That's an extra $0.25 back for every gallon on your first tank of gas using promo code AYG. Do it. Kel, let's talk about Helix one more time. Oh, I'll sing it for the Rafters, baby. I love Helix. We'll be talking about Helix from the get-go.

We'll be talking about it to the end of time, baby. That's how much we love Helix. I'm telling you, it's got one problem over at Helix. The beds are too good. Big man don't want to get out. Man, I want to stay in that thing all the time. That's my dream machine. You get me?

That and the CPAP. Good night. Uh-huh. Don't want to get out man. I want to stay in that thing all the time. That's my dream machine Good night Do yourself a favor get over to helix take the two-minute quiz Find out how you sleep whether you sleep on your side on your back whether you sleep hot you're cold You're a big guy you're small guy. Are you tall? They'll match you with the perfect mattress just for you, and you'll be sleeping like a dream in no time. Yeah It's each fully guaranteed. Tell them, Hank's saying it. I've been using a HELIX mattress for at least four years. When they signed on, they were nice enough to send me one. I was the first one to use it. I gotta tell you,

there ain't no going back at all. I'm HELIX through and through. So go to helixsleep.com slash garbage for 20% off site wide baby. That's helixsleep.com slash garbage for 20% off site wide helixsleep.com slash garbage. Do it. Do it. Now back to the show. But let's get into it. So as you guys know, when you join the Patreon, we will answer your garbage question on the air. Let's see here. This one, you know, you're at home. This is from TravHitme. As a gentleman of class, is it garbage to leave your peanut butter knife on the

edge of the sink for the next use rather than immediately washing? Will you do that with any utensil? If you're making something, you kind of set it off to the side or will you wash it? It depends what it is. But peanut butter is good because I do do that. I leave it, but it's so viscous that you can just get a paper towel and go, and it's clean. You don't even have to wash it under the water. But if it's like spaghetti sauce or Thai food

where it like affixes itself and it encrusts it, then you sort of gotta wash it. But I'll only do it if I run out of utensils. Like if I open the drawer and I go, oh, I got no more forks left. I'll go, oh, I just, I ate Thai with this one last night. Let's wash it. Yeah.

Oh, okay. That's garbage, my garbage. I can't picture Harlan Williams running out of forks for some reason. No, I can't either. Yeah. We know the house is nice. We know you got a nice set of silverware in there Yeah, oh, yeah, I do

You better believe it sister. I actually bought my silver as a wheeled store weird story at Glen Campbell's garage sale There's a state sale this guy Who's going came? I mean he's an old country. Let's claim Campbell. I am the lines Hello rhinestone cowboy. I apologize. I've been walking these streets. That's crazy. See, that kind of shit is so cool to me.

Yeah. Being in Hollywood at that time when all those guys were getting old and stuff like that. And dying. Yeah. They could have had their lamp shade. Yeah. I love that stuff. So I bought his utensils and they're kind of really cool.

They're like, they have like, what are those things? Rhinestones on them and they're just, they're kind of really cool. They're like they have like one of those things, rhinestones on them. And they're just they're kind of like, yeah, really? Yeah. I can't horse hair on a get a read. Oh, yeah. They're all got tassels on them. No, they're really cool. Like custom. Those guys that set you back. Do you remember? It wasn't that much. I think they wanted about I think was about 200 bucks for the whole set.

Is that an auction situation? No, this is like an estate sale. I don't know what that how does that work? Estate sales? It's like a fancy term for a garage sale, but it's more like people with money. They can't say garage sale So they go to the house. I went up to his mansion Yeah up in Beverly Hills and there that's the only thing I really wanted. I got his utensils Unbelievable anybody else you go to you go to anybody else's estate sales like that. Who did I go? I went to Farrah faucets and Got some underwear. No, this is weird. I don't even know if I should talk about this one Okay, it's up to me. That's totally your goal. Well, she was she was part of my childhood

she was famous and she had she did that famous poster with the red bathing suit of course and As you know in the end she she got the cancer Yes, and so she had to get a bunch of wigs made and so when I went to her estate sale I got to grab three or four of the wigs and sometimes I'll put on the red bathing Okay Harland after dark. Wow. Here's the thing, I don't think he's getting me.

That one can go either way and I respect it my man. Right. They each their own, you know. Yeah, and I'll ice my nipples. Get him a good heart. Well, you asked. Peanut butter wise, you chunky? Peanut butter was you chunky, chunky or you smooth?

What do you like? I like chunky now and then when as a kid I dug it more now. I sort of like the smooth. Okay. Yeah, but I'll go both ways. Is that a staple in the in the Williams home? Yeah, a jar of peanut butter always there's a jar of peanut butter because I play a lot of sports.

So sometimes if I'm if I'm not like You know if I let a little protein look if I need a check I know like I'll just spread some peanut butter on two pieces of bread and then boom I got some I got you And what is the drink with that as a soda man? We've talked I'm a so I was a soda man for a long time Yeah, what are you drinking with that you make you make a peanut butter sandwich you sit down to watch some TV. What's what's the beverage? I love apple juice And sometimes a lot of sugar, but just sometimes just cuz I like I like like a kick, you know I and it's gonna sound odd. I'll drink her straight teriyaki Teriyaki sauce take the edge off a little yeah a long day right out of the bottle suck it like a demented gerbil

I don't hate it. I love it. Teriyaki. Yeah, right. I said sweet little club soda. Yeah, you're an apple juice, man Yeah, huh juice that is interesting. Yeah, what brand do you do? Do you do Mott's or do you like that? Or get the names of Martin Ellis. I like the Mott's. Yeah, I'll do the Mott's. I'm a Mott's guy What about Martin Ellis? Do do you know Martinelli's? I have two Martinelli's too, they usually come in the glass bottle, they're like sort of the champagne of apple juice. Delicious.

I remember I had a pool party once at my house and I invited- Martinelli's as far as the eye can see. I invited Will Farrell up and we had all these people around and as a joke I said can I get you a drink Will and he I guess he wasn't drinking and I said what do you got and I said I got you know this that apple juice and he said give me an apple juice so as a gag I got an apple juice excuse me and I I put all this stuff in

it like I put like a clamado juice like milk and I mustered this stuff in it. Like I put like, Clamado juice and like milk and I muster like I just filled it with crap and I didn't think he'd drink it. So I go out and I hand it to him and he takes a big drink and he goes, yeah, that's my Mott. And I always remembered that, it's all right. Okay.

Okay. Growing up at any point or can you weigh in on this if you go to someone's house, is it garbage if the toilet water is blue? Like they have the cleaner in it? Right. Do you have that? If not, how do you feel about that if you go over to someone's house? You know, that's a weird one. It's an old school thing.

Yeah, I think it's okay, cause it shows that someone's trying to be clean. Taking care of the property. Either that, or some avatars live in their house. Or a Smurf drowned in the middle of the night, something. But I think it's fine, you know. I mean, blue. What it also does is it masks your pee.

Yes. So you don't have to look at yellow, you get to look at a nice hue of blue. So it's almost like looking into a tropical sunset or something, like a Caribbean. And if you blow a conch shell while you're peeing, it really seals the deal. And if I have my Farrah Fawcett wig on.

This would make a lot more sense. Yeah. Isn't it hard to pee with an erection though? deals the deal. And if I have my Farrah Fossett wig on. This would make a lot more sense. Yeah. It's hard to be with an erection though. How many bathrooms are in in the house right now? In the house? Yes. Or my house? In your house. Oh, man. So he gets screwed. You guys, you guys. Doesn't like giving up the deets. Doesn't like giving up the info. I'll tell you, put a wig in a wig in a bathing suit on and whack off my private guy. You guys are pushing me to the limit here There's three in my in my house one downstairs like a powder room. No, I live on a flat level house

Yeah, so Yeah, three. Yeah, it's pretty good Yeah, so we were over at the house for the pool party Is there a designated bathroom that we can go into? Yeah. Yeah in the guest room in the guest room Yeah Now what if I went into the bathroom in in in your room? Would you be upset with that? No, if you were invited guest and you needed to go in there that'd be I know anywhere Yeah, can you poop in there? Would you, would not, obviously. I won't know.

I won't know. Trust me, you would know. I don't stand and watch my guests. The homeowners association would be calling. I don't go in with them. I give them the credibility that they know how to do a pee or a movement on their own. But.

Now, how do you feel about that situation? If you were at someone's house, right? Yeah. Let's just say you're at a holiday party. You know, it's, you've been there for two or three hours, you've eaten, but you still, you gotta open the presents or whatever, there's still a couple hours of,

and you get the feeling that you have to go to the bathroom quite bad, a number two. And the only bathroom is by kind of where the festivities are happening. Do you feel okay going into the primary bedroom and going into their bathroom and taking a number two there? Would that feel okay going into the primary bedroom and going into their Their bathroom and taking a number two there was that would that feel okay for you? Well, it's an uncomfortable thing obviously So I've for years I try to figure a way around it and I consulted with my doctor You got me a nice colostomy bag. There you go. So I can go anywhere

I can be sitting there opening presents or saying grace and doing're doing a podcast. We're doing it right here. Yeah. Drop a C cucumber while I'm celebrating. OK. Yeah. If you were at like a fancy Hollywood party. Yeah. The Who's Who is there. And we're there. Right. And you had the number talking celebrities. Jack Nicholson, fucking Mel Gibson. I don't know who else. Everybody. Yeah.

Danny Devito. Danny Devito. And you had to use the, you had to go. Would you leave? I would leave the party. Yeah, that's what you do. Oh, I thought you said if I had to go. No, if you had to take, if you had to make a doo-doo. No, no, what I'd do is I'd do one of those fake Hollywood hugs, and as I was hugging

DeVito I'd squish one out into my colostomy bag. No one's done the washing. He wouldn't know. He would just think there was a caterpillar crawling up my back or something. Too soon. That was perfect. All right, let's see, this is one. Speaking of celebrities, a big celebrity heavy.

This is from Victor. His question is, does your family have any multi-generational beefs with a celebrity? Back in the day, my mom worked in a restaurant and George Thorogood came in. The restaurant comped his meal and he, unfortunately, didn't tip. Growing up, every time a Thorogood song came on,

my mom would turn it off. That being said, I still don't listen to him to this day and I'm gonna raise my son the same way. Whoa you had any is there any you know not beefs obviously But like you know is there anybody your family didn't like growing up like yeah, we don't listen to them We don't watch this like out of out of some sort of odd Interpretive beef yeah, one of my sisters was a waitress at a diner, okay, and I Already don't know if I can believe it. I just know what's a sister at a diner. What's so hard to believe? That's how good you are. I just noticed the tape

measure on his waist. Holy shit he's got a 25 foot Stanley tape measure on him. Well I like to measure things when I'm walking around. I've got like remember when Jack Nicholson and his good couldn't step over crack. I measure everything like I saw a guy coming at me today down the sidewalk and I measured the space between his eyes and it was 11 inches so I crossed the street and went the other way yeah that just makes me uncomfortable have a weird-looking dude Yeah. Good luck finding a pair of sunglasses to fit that face. God Freak. I saw, it's funny, I saw him put it on over there. I saw him putting something on his belt but it didn't register. Yeah, I like to just sort of. So you traveled with that. You got on a plane with a tape measure. Oh yeah. The guy sitting beside me, I was like,

sir, I need your arm to be a foot and three inches. Do not touch me. Yeah. So that's okay, everyone has their quirks. Sure. So your sister's working at a diner. She's working at a diner and who walks in, none other than Nellie Frattato.

Do you know this one? I know exactly. I just saw a clip of hers yesterday. Yeah. That's so funny. This had to be recently then. Well, she's gotten big. Yeah, Nellie's gotten big.

And my sister's, you know, she said she's a foodie. She's a foodie. Yeah. OK. And she ordered a vanilla milkshake and my sister was like, we're out of ice cream, like we just, the shipment didn't come in and she threw a hissy fit and she goes,

I want a vanilla milkshake, B. She called her the, she said B. Oh shit, called her B. She didn't even say that, she said B-osh. Oh. Like she said, I want a vanilla milkshake, be-osh. And my sister said, we don't have any milk. And she stood up and she goes,

I'll show you what milk is, be-osh. And she pulled her right thunder-jog out and slapped my sister right across the face. And my sister came home with an areola mark on her cheek. Looked like she'd been stung by a jellyfish, but it was actually Nellie Frattato's giant areola now would that keep you from listening to her music and passing that on from generation a generation never listen

notice she had a bird slant slapped your aunt in the face no my sister it actually that would be if it was the next generation would be there and but it was my sister no I'm saying you would be telling the next generation would be their aunt. But it was my sister. No, I'm saying you would be telling the next generation of your family. This is my story. Hey, buddy. This is the story I'm making up. But I started listening to her more because I didn't. I don't really like my sister. Sure. And she probably had that for Tato tit coming.

I know. Yeah. Yeah. Are you a for Tonelli for Tato fan? Is it? She's like, I'm like a bird. I mean, are you a for Tonelli for Tato fan is it I'm she's like I'm like a bird I mean a hit yeah came out 25 years ago this month. Yeah, I swear to God. I just saw it Billboard over it was I saw YouTube sure yesterday of Five songs that came out 25 years ago today. Yeah, and that was one of them. She's Greek. She is Greek. Yeah QT, too. Wow. Very cute. You guys in the fan club?

You know all these random for thought of facts. Yeah. Just a big star for Tato, by the way. Also a sex act in West Hollywood. I want you to invent it by Harlan Williams. Yeah. And the full act is a Nelly for Tato. She ever want to do the full Nelly frappe There you go. I have the Greek. I'm tying it all in. Yeah, you are See we're riffing here kippy. I know I'm with it

Alright this one's from Augustus Do you think it's garbage or smart to fuse the last bit of an old bar of soap with a new bar? That sort of garbage that's garbage. Yeah, okay to fuse the last bit of an old bar of soap with a new bar. That's sort of garbage. That's garbage too. Yeah. Okay. I mean. I respect it.

Soap is so cheap. Sure. Like why go through all that stuff to fuse something together? Especially when you got a brand new big one right there for you. Yeah. I mean that's science. That's how they create new species of trees by the way.

They actually fuse branches together and the DNA intertwines and they make like, you know, different types of fruit, you know, trees and all kinds of. So you end up with a dire wolf, huh? Yeah, that's sort of, you know, so you don't need to be. I'm sure it's a lot of.

You don't wanna blend like Irish Spring with dial, you know, because in Ireland that's a time bomb That's Protestant shit right? Yeah, I assume you're not a bar man these days, right? I'm sure you're a Some type of body wash a liquid soap. Uh, no, I like both. Okay. Yeah, what is your proper? Disposal of the end of a bar of soap? When it's that little thing. There is a correct answer to this. Turns into like wet paper.

I just sort of throw it on the shower floor and press it into the drain. That's pretty good. I have a drain with all the little holes. Looks like Brian Adams' face when he was 17. And I just- That's rude. Yeah. That's a deep rude. Yeah, good.

That's well, they're all a Canadian called pock marks. And what I do is I just press it in and then the water slowly dissolves it. And I hope it goes out to the sea and washes a dirty fat fucking bull shark because they're dirty. You better believe it's. Yeah. The proper answer, the garbage answer. Yeah. Again, why am I classy? That's I don't know if that's classy, but that's not the trash answer. The trash answer is you take it and you put it in the toilet.

Well, that's what we always did. I don't think you should be flushing that. Yeah. You put it in a toilet and it disintegrates even more. And you just flush it away. That's what my mom always did. It was always one sit. She's a plumber, so you got to listen to her. But what's the difference? Like if you go to the same place? Hey, yeah, there's no difference. Yeah, just what happens to be trashier than the okay, okay?

I might have to push back on yeah, so you know I don't think once try don't listen there You know I don't know Queens doing either one of them of course I think using your feet You know tends to be a little trashier. I'll give you that but think of it. I course. I think using your feet, you know, tends to be a little trashier. I'll give you that. But think of it. I've done that in the past. What is the function of soap? To clean yourself. How often have you ever lifted your foot and washed the bottom of your foot? Never once. So for practical reasons, if you put it on the floor of the shower in its last act before it dissipates, you're actually using it for what it was made for. You're washing the bottom of your foot,

whereas you're putting a chunk in the water of the toilet that has no practical purpose. I agree. So now that's even the classy answer. I think we won that one. But that would stand. I beat you by two feet. If that stands to reason that you only wash your feet

once every six months, because how often are you running out of soap? I mean reason that you only wash your feet once every six months because how often You're running out of I mean if you think a bar of soap last six months. I think that's our first brow That's that's a think less than six months significantly less than six and nobody washes the bottom of their feet Have you ever stood in the shower and with yeah, so I would say help those So you're almost doing yourself a favor by stomping it into the bottom of the shower. OK, you're washing your feet. You're you're you're utilizing that product to the very, very end, which is which is classy,

which I'm saying I'm saying the trashier version is to put it in the toilet. Right. If you guys got confused, you have how long a bar is about a month, about a month. That's what they're saying. You are six times dirtier than the rest of the Americans walking around putting the nine and a ten Dennis Okay Can't what do you know about Pesty? Oh, baby? I did it two weeks ago out of the burbs gang It's the springtime and you got the bugs starting to come out of the woodwork. You know they're hibernating the winter

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I've been around a lot of skunks in my life. Where at? I mean- In your travels or? Yeah, I used to, I mean, I spent a lot of time in nature and even in LA, there's a ton of skunks. I was sitting in my living room one night watching TV and one came running. I used to leave the door open in the summer

and one came running right in. I'm laying on my couch, got about halfway to me and I just went, hey! And he turned around and ran back out. Oh, I would have freaked out. But they're an amazing animal because, you know, every other animal in the animal kingdom has some kind of defense.

Claws or fangs or teeth. And this is the only animal in the animal kingdom has a main line of defense shoots ass sauce. Yeah. It's like, it's just like ass Gatorade. Yeah, just all over you. Yeah, it's like it turns around, shows you it's calamari rang.

Which other than that, they're cute as a button. They're adorable. Some people have them as pets. They get them de-scented, de-glanded, yeah. Good up to you. We had a family of them living underneath our house for a long time and it was bad. Yeah, they couldn't get rid of them.

Yeah, and that odor is just incredible. Tried to cover it up with m and it was it was bad yeah they couldn't get rid of them yeah and that odor is just incredible tried to cover it up with mothballs it was bad oh no I don't know so the ages what are you gonna do yeah it's a wild time yeah the rough time all right let's see this one's from Cameron $10 homie let's see are you garbage if you grew up eating ketchup on everything? Cheetos, steak, corn, everything. Well I grew up in Canada and we actually had ketchup flavored potato chips. Right? Very popular?

We discovered them on this show. Yeah, so we didn't have to kind of dip stuff into it. A lot of our food products already had it. Yeah, but I think you can overdo it. It's like scrambled eggs, French fries, grilled cheese, and not much else. Okay. I think if you do it and on anything else,

you're a piece of garbage. Sure, do you keep it in the house? The ketchup? Yeah, yeah. Do you constantly have it in the fridge as well? Oh yeah. Yeah. What ketchup, man? We doing Heinz, you doing Hunts, as well? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

We doing Heinz, you doing Hunts, you doing? Heinz. Heinz. Heinz, yeah. There's that little, people don't know this a lot of the time, but there's this little, on the glass bottles of it, they've got the 57. Right?

And you hit the 57 and it, that's what knocks it out. That was, when I learned that, you're like supposed to spin it and there's like little 57s and grid, you know Yeah, of course half the 57s. I learned that as like a 12 year old man blew my fucking mind You ever do that when you're doing the 69 position tap to sit your partner on the hip It's your with their glands real quick. You decide. You haven't touched your coke or your. Oh, yeah. Thank you.

Thank you. Crack that sucker open. Whoa, that was a good effervescent. Yeah, it's pretty good. You know, you got to watch your California man. You're not going to be able to get that out there. What? Because they're taking you're not allowed to have the the dyes in them anymore Is that right? Yeah, they're gonna start making them the way they do in Europe

Well, what else is gonna make you die faster than that's a nice die figure something out Yeah, wow, that's sad yeah Be just as good. It's like salmon. They say most salmon farmed salmon is white. It's it's like they add the pink coloring. Yeah, you're supposed to buy wild wild caught salmon. Yeah. But the farm stuff is is just like a bland color, like sort of like this coffee cup. And it's actually theoretically, if you want to get technical.

I do from my server experience. It's not really salmon. It's trout. No. Yeah. Lucas, get eyes on that. Go ahead. I'm not I'm just saying I've never heard of that. The farmed salmon is salmon. I've seen the salmon

farms. Luke, you're talking about the salmon farms in Scotland. No, like off the coast of Alaska and British Columbia. They're like coho salmon. With the tents around. With the huge giant pools. Yeah. That might be real salmon. Because they're salt water. Trout are freshwater fish. A lot of the salmon on the... Am I right? You're wrong. Oh, ha! What do you have? He don't know! Did he mix any fact? You find anything that he's basing this off of? There's a term salmon trout because trout are fresh water

and will sometimes be in the Fords, but you're wrong. How am I wrong? Yeah. Because salmon or trout are different. Yeah. All right. I'm a fisherman, so you can't- We're cutting this anyway.

Can't get- I'm winning, I'll tell you that. Why don't you fillet it instead? Get Freddy Krueger over here. You can't get around me with any fish stuff. Hold on, you're a big fisherman? Yeah. Salmon trout.

So what does that mean? That's a species. Yeah. A species of salmon. It's a salmon. It's probably a trout. If it's freshwater, it's a trout. It refers, yeah, it's a salmon trout, which is a trout.

It's a kind of trout. So I'm saying they pass that off as salmon, is what I'm saying. No, but I guess technically, because it's got both names, you could go to a restaurant and go, oh, enjoy the salmon trout, like they just say it. It's confusing to people like you. Yeah.

That's what people are saying. Well, you're gonna hear about that in the weekly meeting. Do they serve salmon trout? Yes. Is salmon trout farm raised and served at restaurants passed off as salmon? Not likely. They only they only farm the the fish that are in high demand like

catfish, salmon, things like that. Catfish? Oh yeah, catfish are harvested. They they have huge catfish farms in Asia. Huh. Yeah. That I didn't know. Yeah, and salmon, they have lots of...

Have you ever been canoodling? Noodling. Have you done that? I haven't done it, but I wrote a movie about it and we're waiting to get funding for it. Really? Yeah, yeah. I wrote a movie for me and Kirk Fox.

Oh, I like Kirk Fox. Love and Kirk Fox. I like Kirk Fox. Love that Kirk Fox. So we were actually just waiting to find out about getting the funding for a movie called Noodlers because I'm fascinated. It's a form of fishing where you use your arm to catch 50-60 pound catfish in the muddy rivers. It's only legal in 16 states. They show chicks doing it too. Hot chicks in a bikini.

And you have to have a spotter because the fish are so big. You're standing in the river. The fish can get so big they can actually pull you under. Cap fish don't have traditional teeth. They have little, it's almost like sandpaper. They have little nubs, these rough little things. Yeah, their arms are always blue. To grab.

So when they dig these big cavernous caves in the banks of the muddy rivers and the noodlers walk along and they put their arm in, and traditionally these caves is where the capfish deliver their babies and so as a protective measure, they lash out and they engulf the arm, and you have to pull these catfish up. I would freak out.

With your arm on, yeah. Can't they slap you too? I thought catfish can hit you with their tail. Oh yeah, I mean, if you lifted them up, any fish could do that, but catfish also, in their side fins, the front of their fin is a bone it's almost like like a needle so that's that can cut you that was

always when you were kids fishing we had careful your hand I know it got wally it went through his hand everyone thought it was the whiskers but it was scary front of those fins yeah but they're a delicious fish to eat now How do you as a as a noodling expert yourself? How do they know do they know it's in that hole at the time or they just reach in it cuz it's so I've seen Somewhere they go. There's one in here. How do they know do they usually the water is muddy? So they're just feeling around they get a sense of it and then they kind of feel the hole and You know, they have to guess like

any form of fishing but. Imagine sticking your hands in and that fucking bugged me out. Yeah it'd be pretty weird and you gotta remember you're talking about waters that are you know filled with snakes, water moccasins, some cases alligators yeah so it's a pretty fascinating form of fishing yeah. What's uh are you would you prefer fresh water or salt water? I like both. Are you a salmon man or a salmon trout?

Can you fly fish? Salmon trout man. Yeah, I like both. I've fished for salmon, I've fished for giant king salmon, and I went fishing with Henry, salmon fishing with Henry Winkler once, believe it or not. No kidding, the Fonz. The Fonz, and then I also have fly fished.

I love fly fishing. That's a whole different kind of, it's all in the wrist. It's a whole different way of fishing. It's a great form of fishing because you're in the fish's element. You're standing in their world in the water. So you feel the energy of the water. And when you hit that fish you're really

connecting there's a real serenity to it it's like that movie that Robert Redford Brad Pitt River runs through it yeah they kind of Norman McLean yeah they sort of in the beginning of that movie and at the end they bookend it with the serenity and the sure connectivity with nature when you fly fish it's a whole different level of, I recommend it to anyone. It's quite a beautiful experience. Great movie too, by the way. Yeah, for the most part,

you normally do catch and release when you're fly fishing, and you use really small little hooks so that the fish have a much more higher percentage of escaping. It's a real sort of like a no barbs. It's sort of like the gentleman's form of fishing, but there's a real connectivity to it.

See, classy guy. Classy. I gotta give it a try. Despite his three sodas. What'd you find out about the salmon trout? They're different. Same thing. Restaurants aren't serving it saying it's salmon.

Restaurants are serving it. Salmon trout's actually more expensive. I don't think they're serving it as salmon though I mean I did a quick so I could be wrong. I'm sure some places might be but as a whole It's not I don't think they're bamboozling us as you Like you know what the hell he's talking about. Well, there's also a speckled trout. There's saltwater trout, too There's a speckled trout in the Gulf of Mexico called speckled trout, but there's also a freshwater speckled trout. Gulf of America. Just like there's freshwater, yeah, Gulf of America, freshwater bass and saltwater bass.

So there is crossover. Okay. Salmon is traditionally saltwater, but when they spawn, they go into freshwater. The tributaries. By the way, what a way to mate too. They just like slide up beside their girl they flap around the ejaculate and then take off you've never seen me do it I guess humans did that my god subway would be be a mess

Luke lobster all over the place mention the lawsuit I as this one's from Josh you know you're a soda soda man well documented Say you're on a plane right they give you the can you dung a couple times come over. They'll give you the can wait Hold on pause that real quick. I'm sorry when you do get a trout when you When you do get a soda on the plane Do you say give me a glass with ice and the can or do you accept just the the cup of it? They usually ask I don't go out of my way so I'll just whatever they offer up real I'll say yeah give me the can or if they don't

I'll just because you're trapped on a plane so you can dung them all day long very true I always say give me the give me this can I thought a soda man like you would say give me a glass of ice in The whole well the only problem is when you're on a plan and plane is precarious, and it's always so the more Things of liquid or you the more chance of a spill or an accident, so I just kind of go with the flow I want the whole can yeah, you can dung whenever you Know it's okay. Let's say you get the little small little you know like rocks glass They give you there's few ice cubes in there You're enjoying your your coke your son kiss your your whatever diet doctor son kiss on a plane when harland's flying

They give it to them. They got in the cockpit. They don't give it to the if they fly too high. There's some sun Will you tell will you try to get the ice out of the bottom of the cup? No. No. I don't trust. You're anti-ice. Well, on an airplane, I'm very, I know it's probably a bit of a phobia, but it's like I don't trust. The ice.

The ice. Just like I would never drink the water in the bathroom on a plane. Of course. Are people doing that? I don't know, but I always associate the ice with it. I understand. It's not normal water. It's like so I sometimes doing that I don't know but I always associate the ice with it It's not normal water gray water. It probably is normal, but I've just got it in my head It's like I'll tolerate it in my drink, but I ain't chewing it. Mm-hmm, but it's probably perfectly fine But I just got it my head. It is I've seen them loading it. They're regular bags of ice

No, they're not making it on but they're not disinfecting that container every now between Cleveland and They're not making ice on the flame The energy of the gas alone will kill you that's what I thought Sir Goldfish shark you idiot It's all trout what are you talking about? We got a question Well, will you take them will you this was will you start eating the ice out of the bottom of your soda cup at dinner?

Or even more trashy which I caught myself doing last week Well, you pick the bits of bread off the table Like on the plate like if you're done and your plate's sitting there and there's a couple of crumbs of bread, bigger crumbs of bread, will you like, I'll put my finger on it and take it? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%. I doubt Mr. Williams is doing that at Spago. No, no, I don't do the crumb thing. In a regular setting.

You're talking to two foodies here. What am I, a chickadee for God's sake? By the way, chickadee, how egotistical are they? I'm not even sure I know what that is. It's a little bird and their call is, chickadee dee dee. They say their own name. Like how stuck up, I think the whipper will is the only other bird that's so can.

What's the whipper will? They're another bird that says they chirp, they go, whipper will, whipper will. See, I grew up with a will whipper. That's not What's going on in your basement, holy god little freak Turn it into Holland over. Wow. I was gonna ask you in a non airplane ice setting. Yeah Sir salmon trout nine o'clock. Salmon trout, dead ahead, sir. Dude, he immediately fell into that.

That's the first second of Submarine. Have you ever played a radio man on a submarine? Yeah, I did a movie called Down Periscope're worse of all what a specific that's so crazy that that's like in my brain I played a character named sonar yeah I was the sonar man in down Paris go and he made the same feel like that bird named after this noise that he makes You've never heard of a chickadee or a whippoorwill. I'm not a big bird man. What are they called? What's a bird an op-optimolid? No What's it? Well? Why are you looking at me fucking you got the gary analogy?

Well, they're the two birds or at all Their name is their chirp like chickadee goes chickadee Deee-dee-dee, and Whippoorwill goes, Whippoorwill, Whippoorwill. Very self-absorbed. But there's no other, yeah, they're very egotistical. Yeah. You don't have an owl calling itself who. Right. Unless it's a doctor owl.

Couple of ornithologists. Ornithologists. Yes. Thank you, Tim. But anyways, it's odd. Back to the ice question. Yeah, yes. You're at it's odd. Back to the ice question. Yeah, yeah. You're at the house.

Yeah. In an ice restaurant. You're at the Palm. You and Henry Winkler. We saw Henry Winkler at the Shannon Doe of Farmers Market. At the Brentwood Market. We've seen Henry Winkler. We're Hollywood.

Yeah, yeah. We saw him eating chicken fingers. Actually saw him at a diner. Got a lot of friends in Bakersfield too. Chicken finger, chicken finger. We've seen Henry a lot of friends in Bakersfield, too. Chicken, fing, fing, chicken, fing, fing. We've seen Henry Winkler twice in the wild for some reason. We saw him once in Austin or Winkler. I'll just say, wow.

Wow. Get the sharp. I would mark it seems like a lovely gentleman. Oh, yeah. Super. I'm 49 years old when I was a kid. The Fonz forget about it. I mean, he was everything to me. That's right. So let's say you're over at Henry Winkler's house and you're having a soda.

Are anywhere non-airplane ice where you have a phobia about it? Are you the kind of guy that will take a sip and if an ice cube gets in your mouth, will you spit it back into the cup? Are you OK with that? He might run a tight ship. You get what I'm saying? Yeah.

I might. I mean, that You get what I'm saying? I might. I mean that's something I probably would have never really thought about. Really? Welcome to the show. I don't traditionally eat the ice out of a cup or when I'm done I just let the ice melt and return to its original form. I do it in first class and the people across the audience... Ice chewing is a real trend. I had a buddy I'd go to movies with and he'd chew the ice through the movie and I just wanted to put him through the wall.

Yeah. Sounded like someone digging up ribs at Forest Lawn Graveyard in the middle of the night. That's not right. That's a deep cut. God, idiot. All right, let's see here. This one's from Great Griffin.

Are you garbage if you use green spray paint on your lawn to cover up your dog's pee stains? Come on. That's pretty classy, I feel. I don't think it's classy. I think you're concerned about the looks of it and that's probably the quickest fix to it. Yeah, it's practical. Yes.

Yeah, so if you're just looking for a quick cosmetic fix, why not? I mean, I know bald guys that'll spray the back of their head. Sure. I don't know why you looked at me during that. After their dogs piss on them, yeah. After their dogs piss on them. You got grass out at the house?

Yeah. You got a front yard with grass? Yeah. Nice? Yeah, real nice. You got ice at the house? You got ice? Yeah.

You got an ice maker? You live it on a plane? You have an an ice maker? You live on a plane? Do you have an actual ice maker? I assume you do. I actually have a cyber truck. You hit the horn and crushed ice comes out.

Yeah. I didn't know they had that feature. Yeah. They're stainless steel fridges on wheels. Aftermarket mods. I vandalized a cyber truck the other day. I threw fridge magnets on it. Hung up a to-do list?

Put a shopping list under the windshield wiper. That's alright. That's a good piece of business right there. We gotta wrap it up, unfortunately. Oh man, guys, one of our absolute favorites. Mr. Harland Williams. Still classy, baby. Thank you. You're class all the way.

Crazier than ever. This is gonna come right out anything You want the folks to know you got anything coming up? Yes, I got When's it coming out comes out on two days? Okay, so if you're in the Toronto area on May 9th, we're doing a sneak screening of my brand new movie that I wrote and directed called wingman Okay my brand new movie that I wrote and directed called Wingman. OK. And you can come to this sneak screening if you go to my website, harlanwilliams.com and get tickets. It's going to be the first time the movie's seen.

That's awesome. We didn't know about that. Yes, thank you. And then Jamie Kennedy's in it. Russell Peters, Caleb Wallace, very nice landman. And and then my podcast, the Harland Highway podcast every Tuesday and you guys are in LA. You got a company. Yeah, we'll be out there making a run. Yeah, we'd love to. Oh good. I'd love to have you. Is that you just doing a screening of the movie? Is this just like a just is it

going in theaters? Well, we're just we just finished it. So, we're going to go out and sell it but we wanted to do a sneak screening just to, you know, Yeah, I love that wingman wingman. It's about a Demented wingman that helps dudes find and meet girls. So this guy's always working one of the best Harlan Williams everybody. We love you, buddy. Thank you so much for coming in kippy. What do you got for? Guys, we're announcing our fall tour dates very soon Check them out Check out the Route 66 special on the YouTube page if you have not. And the decks of cards, the AYG card game.

Brand new 2005 edition on our website, rugarbage.com. Check it out. Harlan, we love you. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week. Chicken-dee-dee-dee. Peace!