Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Heather McMahan!

Episode Date: October 23, 2023

Are You Garbage presents comedian and podcast host Heather McMahan! You know Heather McMahan from the Absolutely Not podcast, Whiskey Ginger w/ Andrew Santino, The Toast, The Today Show, Out & About p...odcast stand up comedy, and so much more!Thanks for watching the Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! NEW LIVE SHOWS: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Liquid IV: https://www.liquid-iv.com Promo Code: Garbage Manscaped: https://www.manscaped.com Promo Code: Garbage Fum: https://www.tryfum.com Promo Code: garbage Support the show by downloading the DraftKings Sportsbook App and using the code AYG. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA).   21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. New customer offer void in NH/OR/ONT-CA. $200 in Free bets: New customers only. Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 wager. $200 issued as eight (8) $25 free bets. Ends 9/19/22 @ 8pm. Early Win: 1 Early Win Token issued per eligible game. Opt in req. Token expires at start of eligible game. Min moneyline bet $1. Wagering limits apply. Wagers placed on both sides of moneyline will void bet. Ends 1/8/23 @ 8pm ET. See terms at sportsbook dot draftkings dot com slash football terms. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This one's fun is from Omar. Is it garbs who pay off tonight's tickets in multiple payments? Try to spread that shit around. Don't talk to me next month, will you? Wait on a few things to shake out. Gang to stay trashy tours coming to a city near you. Stand up comedy plus we play the Leo-I-G with the crowd. Shows are selling out and you can get your tickets at rugarbage.com. See you there!
Starting point is 00:00:26 Welcome to another exciting edition of... Are You Gobbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals? Or absolute trash? Now here are your hosts, Ryan and age Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast. This is our you garbage. Oh yeah. So at little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that I think you're
Starting point is 00:00:54 going to be classy. Yeah. Or if they're just a big old piece of trash. Armage. I'm your host, age Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tuddy's in a new edition. She's upstairs putting the Halloween decorations up. Okay. Stole the good ones this year. Good for her. And over the rich neighborhood got the goods, baby. Okay. All right. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. She's international businessman. And my best pal in the whole wide world. And I love him. Give it up for KJ. It's Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What's up gang thanks. Thanks for tuning in as always.
Starting point is 00:01:25 Please make sure you're right. You subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are true to roo cooking over there. Obviously the greatest website of all time. Oh yeah. W W W dot patreon dot com slash or you garbage. Don't make me freaking say it again. It's a good time over there. Uh huh. Happened a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire. The magic man makes us all look good, works the ones to twos and threes in the fours,
Starting point is 00:01:47 he crosses the tees and he dots the eyes, give it up for T-bone McStruffins, Toby McMillan everybody. What up, dudes? What up, pal? I'm excited, we got a nice versus thing, we pulled up with a crew. Yeah, that's what I'm trying.
Starting point is 00:01:59 That's what a very talented rock. Coming in industry, I like it. And it feels like it might be a little touch of claaass. Yeah, she seems like a claaass in Broadway. Yeah, we couldn't be more excited to have her incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. She is a very funny, very successful standup comedian, actor and podcaster. And you might have seen her in, but not limited to.
Starting point is 00:02:20 We got bride to be. So we ever after Mary, X-Men. These are terrible. If loving you was wrong, absolutely not. Family. The trap love hard bone Mary Berry. Ladies night live, watch what happens live. Bad dates that today show.
Starting point is 00:02:36 She has an amazing podcast. Absolutely not. She's on tour right now. But the reason she's here, she just dropped her debut Netflix special that you got to check out. Son I never had. Give it up for Heather McNann. Everybody.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Thank you. Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. Did you all just print out my IMDB? Because he hand writes it. So just so you know, the first like 10 things where I always played like the slutty white girl on every BET show. Sure.
Starting point is 00:02:59 Very good. Yeah. So I was always like the token white girl friend that every person on every show hated. I know I recognize you. Yeah. Yeah. So I was always like the token white girlfriend that every person on every show hated. I know I recognize you. Yeah. Yeah. That's what those credits are.
Starting point is 00:03:10 Yeah. I'd pay to rent, baby. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Congrats on the special. Hey, thank you. Little Netflix cash coming in.
Starting point is 00:03:18 Like to see it. Yeah, shaking my tits for cash on the Netflix. Hey, someone's got to do it. Someone's got to do it. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. Yeah. Give us a back story where you from.
Starting point is 00:03:28 Give us the origin story. I love it. I'm from Hot Lanna. There you go. Boiner raised Hot Lanna. My mom's from Boston. My dad was a good Southern man. Went to school at the University of Mississippi.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Hotty, Tottie. Okay. So a Southern bell. Southern bell with like some Yankee roots. How does your parents link up? They actually met at a baggage claim at Miami International Airport Jesus Yeah, that's a coke deal going wrong there. I was selling coke my dad was 23 my mom shut up You see I was we're in it. Let's go. They both worked for Eastern Airlines at the time But my dad was like young selling coke when he wasn't a baggage service guy, so yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:04:04 And my mom 11 years older than my father since past but was 11 years older than my dad Y'all selling coke when he wasn't a baggage service guy. So shit. Yeah, yeah. And my mom, 11 years older than my father since past, but was 11 years older than my dad. So my mom was like an original cougar. That's an OG cougar right there. Yeah, yeah. Holy shit. And how did they settle in Atlanta?
Starting point is 00:04:17 My dad was from Atlanta. OK. So literally, they had my sister who's three years older than me. And my mom was like, we can't do this. We can't be living in literally the world of cocaine. We got to get out of here and so they moved to Atlanta and then they had me and yeah. What's your pop too?
Starting point is 00:04:32 Why are you guys are growing up? Was he still working for the airline? No, no, no. So he basically, he was very successful in the mortgage business. Okay. He had his own like a mortgage technology software company and then when he sold that, he, uh, he
Starting point is 00:04:45 was like in real estate and shit like that. Couple of bucks growing. Couple of bucks. Well, we had, it was, it was real broke and then not broke at all. And I, it was nice. You know what I mean? It was, it was a nice eighth grade. Things got real nice. That's a good age. I like that. That's when you're aware too. Yeah. That's when you know it. Yeah. We moved out like a shitty neighborhood and we moved next to our golf when you're all aware too. Yeah, that's when you know it. Yeah, we moved out like a shitty neighborhood and we moved next to our golf, we joined a golf club. We moved next to the golf club. There you go.
Starting point is 00:05:10 Start getting name brand cereals, real pop thoughts. Oh yeah, my mom said that there was a day when we were in the grocery store and I was little and I said something like, mom, we can't get the ice cream because we don't have a coupon. And that's the day my mom went home and was like, Kyle, let's figure out this fucking business plan.
Starting point is 00:05:24 We got to make company. Sell that company. Yeah, this is, and he started his business in the basement and then the wild thing is now, my office is in that basement. Like I took over my dad's office in, yeah, my husband and I moved into my childhood home. So now I run my empire from the basement. Yeah, what you do with your mom?
Starting point is 00:05:40 She's there, she's with us. Okay, yeah, so we're- So we're gonna cut the grass? Exactly. You came with a boot, you got her retirement home. No, no, no robin is with us She still puts shit in a basket like at the bottom of the stairs like I am like 13 again So take it upstairs. Yeah, to take it upstairs. Yeah real mom Man real mom
Starting point is 00:05:56 Once or twice and then take it upstairs. You got any earful Yeah, but she'll put stuff like you know know, W2's, 10.99s, all that kind of shit in the basket. And like I'll miss major like financial documents, tax returns, and all that shit. And I don't get it. I put in your basket. I'm like, well, now I'm getting audited.
Starting point is 00:06:15 So thanks a lot. Thanks a lot. That's all right. So was that the house you grew up in? Yeah, from like eighth grade on. Nice. So when my dad died, my mom was basically like, I was living in New York, I had been in LA,
Starting point is 00:06:26 and then I was living in New York, my husband and the pandemic hit. And my mom was gonna sell the house. We were like, just perfect timing. My mom said, you know, come down, we escaped the city. And then she was like, you know, do y'all want the house? And we were like, yeah, so we're actively buying
Starting point is 00:06:39 the house from her. Yeah, so we're- Should we give you a deal? She- no, no, fuck it. Right over the cold. My mom is Italian and Irish from the nothing to Boston. She literally called me today. She had to ship something up to New York
Starting point is 00:06:51 because I'm running around. She's like, so you're gonna bend me the $300? I'm like, I'll be home in three days today. She needs that cash, no. She is so Boston Robin. It'll be 330 when you get there. Yeah, no shit. She's got that big on it.
Starting point is 00:07:02 No shit, yeah. That's all right. Yeah, what, okay. What was the grocery store growing up? Oh, we're big publics people. Okay. Yeah. We love you know if you ever had a pub sub. No, I've heard good things though good things from the listeners. Okay. A pub sub will change your life. Okay. You guys are from Pennsylvania. So what do you call it? Hogi? Hogi. Hogi. Hogi. That's how you get your Hogi. That's enough out of you. Yeah. So yeah, we get a pubs up. pubs up. And our sandwiches are like, you know, you get a full basically foot long and you put chicken tenders that are tossed in buffalo sauce and with like two sides of ranch and pepper jack cheese. That's
Starting point is 00:07:39 a sub sandwich to me. You know what I mean? I like it. You're my kind of get on. Type two diabetes immediately. Yeah. Let's go. What were you living in before you moved to the house in eighth grade? Was it an apartment in a house? No, no, we were living in a house, but it was, you know, we moved to a really kind of bougie suburb. Gotcha. Yeah, but it was good. I mean, my dad, you know, he worked his ass off and then, and then we popped off. So, yeah. Did your mom work at all? Well, so my mom was 40 when she had me. So my mom had worked in the airline biz for like 40 years. So by the time she had me, she was like,
Starting point is 00:08:08 stayed home with the kids. What was she, a flight attendant? No, she worked in everything other than being on the airplanes. Okay. Gated agent. A admin type of guy. Yeah, no, she was literally like, if you lost your luggage, she's running all those departments.
Starting point is 00:08:21 Robins gonna track it down and get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Robins gonna track it down. Robins and airlines too, this old school. Old school, yeah. Robbins gonna track it down. Robbins, an airline too. That's old school. Old school. Yeah. Did you guys get the fly for free? No, because Eastern Airlines was defunct by the time I came around. And fun fact, my grandfather, you can Google him.
Starting point is 00:08:36 Captain Jack McMahon was the chief pilot for Delta for a long time. What a name. You go. Captain Jack McMahon. He's saying. That's a guy you want flying a plane. Oh, yeah. He saved an airplane.
Starting point is 00:08:46 He won the Dadaian Safety Award because he saved an airplane that was gonna crash. What? That had a major mechanical error. And so my dad, he thought he would, you know, he like dropped out of Georgia Tech because he was, you know, doing drugs and shit. So he thought he'd be able to get a job at Delta
Starting point is 00:09:01 and they were like, no, we're not gonna hire you because they used to have a nepotism clause. So then that's why my dad went down to Miami to like, go find himself and work at Eastern and then he found a hot red head who's 11 years older than him, my mother. Yeah. Yeah. So I come from a long line of aviators, but. Captain Jack.
Starting point is 00:09:16 Yeah, Captain Jack. Yeah. What do you got on Captain Jack? Listen how bad ass this is. What do you get? You got it? Yeah. The saving of flight 1080.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Whoa. Brat, brat. That's right. You're a garbage. Yeah. I am. Bam, bam, bam. Bam, bam. You're a trash.
Starting point is 00:09:32 Shut up and grab a box. Reggae concert. Damn. Go ahead. On Delta's flight 1080 leaving San Diego, this is on October 8th, 1978. So everyone on the plane is smoking unfiltered cigarettes. Yes, for sure. On Delta's flight 1080 leaving San Diego, the passengers were lucky enough to have Jack McMahon at the control.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Shit. I'm chauvin' up here. That's fucking awesome. In that crazy. That was the man. Holy shit. The growing up, we were, because my, talk about a cowboy. Talk about it.
Starting point is 00:10:00 No, he was a cowboy too. So he grew up in Fort Worth. So his background was, he was a famous too, so he grew up in Fort Worth. So his background was, he was a famous bull, bucking bull rider, and then he went and served in the Air Force and the Army, and then he became, became a pilot at Delta. Was he a pilot in the service? Yes, he was, yeah, that's where he learned at a fly.
Starting point is 00:10:17 Yeah. This guy, this guy, pisses whiskey. He's the man, dude. Yeah, no, my, my dad. He's got a real man. My papa Jack was like the coolest guy in the world. And so my dad learned how to fly an airplane before he ever learned how to drive a car. He did. He did. Yeah, no, my. He's got a real man. My Papa Jack was like the coolest guy in the world. And so my dad learned how to fly an airplane
Starting point is 00:10:27 before he ever learned how to drive a car. So my dad solowed his first flight at like 13, which was like highly illegal to do. So we grew up like, you know, people bought fancy cars. We had a little twin engine sass nut. And that's just what you did. Like on the weekends, my dad would be like, we get in this tiny little four-seater.
Starting point is 00:10:42 We had a little duffel bag. And we would just go to Hilton Head. That's what we would do. Yeah, and the tiny little air blight. That's sick. Three keys in the back. Yeah, no, literally, literally. Probably, and my dad spoke fluent Spanish,
Starting point is 00:10:52 so it's all making sense. I mean, this guy moves way full of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Rest in peace. Yeah, I love it, dude. Captain Jack, that's great. Captain Jack. Captain Jack, I got on a flight one time,
Starting point is 00:11:03 and the pilot got on you and it accousted guitar. That was like, we're going down. Yeah, so you want, man. That's awesome. Yeah. All right, so you went to Publix. Yeah, I went to Publix. How was the school and grades good?
Starting point is 00:11:17 I was never very scholastic, but I'm a politician. I was student body president. You know what I mean? That's a real not smart thing. I'm scholastic. Yeah, I'm not.'m not throwing out big words. I like how you run for office, start changing the grade system.
Starting point is 00:11:29 Oh, absolutely. Everything's on a curve. Yeah, school was not my strongest, but I went to the same school from kindergarten through 12th grade. So I knew how to run the show. You know what I mean? Public private school.
Starting point is 00:11:40 Private school. Private school. Catholic. Worse, church of Christ. Okay. Yeah, which is old school. Yeah old school. We are not church of Christ But we're I'm like a non-denominational Christian. I'm basically Methodist You know what I mean to be a very upset. They're like pick one. I'm like I'm chill Yeah, you're hanging out I'm hanging out for Jesus. I'm hanging out for Jesus like everybody chill Any sports growing up. Yeah, I played soccer and I played golf golf
Starting point is 00:12:02 Yeah, and then I was a cheerleader. I was a big golfer. Oh, a gol, huh? Yeah, you still golf now? I still golf now. I wish I could play more than I do. My husband gets the luxury of playing golf every week. Right. But yeah, I was a competitive.
Starting point is 00:12:15 Because you're on a golf course technically. We literally live next to our golf course, but he has more time on his hands. So he gets to enjoy that. Yeah, but I played golf competitively growing up and I'm a big golf nerd and like a big golf fan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of clubs you got. Titles. Yeah. Yeah. Ain't ain't trashy. I know. I got a mix. I like my calories, and then I got title. I mix it up. I just got to set a calories. Nice. How do you feel? I only hit them once,
Starting point is 00:12:41 and I was drunk. So there you go. There you go. I'll tell you in a couple months. What did you major in at Mississippi? Theater. Theater are at the University of Mississippi. Okay. Yeah, I'm a classically trained actor. Very nice. Did you join these sororities down there? Hell yeah, shout out to Delta Gamma.
Starting point is 00:12:56 Brrrr. In the bonds. Yeah, so my sorority was founded at the University of Mississippi. So it was like, it's hardcore. That's OG shit. Yeah, it was the best. People find out I was in a sorority. I mean, University of Mississippi. So it was like, it's a hardcore. That's OG shit, yeah. It was the best. People find out I was in a sorority. I mean, obviously, I've got the blonde curly hair.
Starting point is 00:13:09 Like I look like a sorority girl. But it was great. It was like the best four years of my life. People had time. Had bad Greek experiences. I feel really sorry for them, but I had a fucking blast. Yeah, I loved it. I like it.
Starting point is 00:13:20 Notice the ice on the finger. I'm gonna call it back. Thank you. Shout out to the hubby. Thank you. Put the gathers. Yeah, well, I like Blouse Oh thank you. Thank you. She's very hubby. Thank you put together. Yeah Blouse on good nails Don't think I didn't catch the man you know very red. Don't you are Spraying your risk area that thing around listen. I I I deserve this I have been
Starting point is 00:13:39 No, we're sweet celebrated here. He celebrated shout out to my ear my jeweler at H&H jewelry We celebrated here. We celebrated. Shout out to Meyer, my jeweler, at H&H Jewelry, and the diamond illustrate. They make bagels. What are you talking about? They do. But my in-laws hate me, so I deserve this nice ring.
Starting point is 00:13:52 You know what I mean? Yeah. All right, little beef with the animal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Back to you, shabby. Who would babysit you growing up? Oh, did you have family around you? No, we didn't have a lot of family around us, so no.
Starting point is 00:14:03 It was just, it was a random mix back. Whoever's available. Yeah, yeah. I didn't grow up with like that one babysitter, like old Susan, you know what I mean? You gotcha. No, it was like young fun, fun gals in the hood. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:16 All right. What was the pet situation growing up? Oh, okay. Well, I'm going to get fucking roasted for this. Big cat rescuer. Okay. So we have a lot of cats growing up. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:25 In the door. You can hear the Southern X and cat. Hell out of key, it's growing up. Yeah, we just had a lot of loose felines in the yard. Um, actually, super funny before we like, we live on the river in Atlanta, and it's super funny. This house is sound the worst of all. There's a bunch of cats, we're on a river.
Starting point is 00:14:43 No, no, no, the river's nice. The chat of Hootie's rolled nice. Yeah. But my dad was smoking a, the chat of, way down, you know, on the chat of Hootie. My dad was smoking a cigarette on the porch one day and he literally comes in and he just goes, Kitty's gone, hot got him.
Starting point is 00:14:59 And I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, the kitty is gone, a hot got him. Hot came down when my dad was smoking, just took the cat. So after that, we had less cats. And now I have two French bulldogs. mean he's like the kiddie is gone. A hot god hot came down when my dad was smoking just took the cat. So after that we had less cats and now I have two French bulldogs. All right. What are the names of the dog? Rigatoni can only Gandalfini Daniels. That's a good time. Hold on a second. That's back down. That's a dog of middle name. Two middle names. I think it's got a confirmation
Starting point is 00:15:21 name too. That's confirmation. Yeah. Rigatoni, Kenoli, Gandalfini, Daniels, and then my daughter's name is macaroni, lemonade for Rari Daniels. Yeah, very Italian. All right. Okay, how about Italian? It's trash. It's an ain't fucking clinic.
Starting point is 00:15:35 Well, I'm garbage, it's fine. The Kennedy's ain't doing that. What do you call the dogs day to day? Just rigs and max. Rigs and max. That's fun. Rigs and max is good. Yeah, it's like two cops like a
Starting point is 00:15:45 plug and 100% animated series right now. Let's go. You got to get it with net children's book at least. Yeah, little fridge bulldog with a gun on her. That's a big guy thing I ever heard. A little Hawaiian shirt. This is right. It's so riggs is getting to old for this. Yeah. We got to cut all this. Yeah. What the vacations as a kid Where would you guys go other than head? Oh, well, we would crush Hilton head and then We would we fuck it up anybody knows Hilton head shout out to see pines and the alligator grill Alligator yeah, and then we became those people who went to the Turks and Kiko
Starting point is 00:16:21 So we were going to the islands when his limestone roads and we were not there, because my dad could fly us down. So we went down there and we would go, be very adventurous and we're going to the Turks. Now everybody goes to the Turks, that's our place. Wait, you guys, he would fly you down there in the plane? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:36 Holy shit. He upgraded later. We ended up getting a king air, but we never had like a jet, but we had a king air, which was incredible. And so my dad would fly us down. We go to the Turks. Holy shit.
Starting point is 00:16:46 I don't think we ever had anybody that flew themselves on the case. We definitely haven't had anybody that had a plane. I gotta look up king air. Yeah, give a king air. Get some eyes on that. Was it a propeller plane? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:55 Oh yeah. Oh that thing's sick man. It gets it gets seed about seven years old. That's drug runner all day. Yeah. Yeah. And if you knew my daddy's like the best guy in the world, like just the cutest, like
Starting point is 00:17:06 just the best. But yeah, we would fly around. Cool as it was when I was in college. When I was in college, that was my one like hard flex. You have to realize when you go to university in Mississippi, there is so much money there. My dad's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,
Starting point is 00:17:21 it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it a game and he's like flying himself into the Oxford airport. So he pulls up and it's just Gulfstream after Gulfstream and my dad gets out and he goes, God damn it. I'm the poorest guy here. What the fuck? The poorest guy at the private airports. All right. Yeah, he was like, this is insane. So my dad would pick up like some myself and my sorority sisters and he'd like fly us, you know, to lunch and shit around town.
Starting point is 00:17:40 Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, he was the best. That's good. Cowboy shit. Cowboy shit. That's classy. Yeah, he was the best. That's how boy shit cowboy shit. That's crazy. Yeah, right? How about the lunch is growing up? Would you pack a lunch? Would you? Yeah, we packed a lunch My mom was like organic and gourmet before it was a thing because she grow yeah, yeah We used to make man's are ahead of the Yeah, yeah, they really are yeah, my mom was on the shoes on this show master chef for a hot season my mom's are an incredible chef What's up? I who are you?
Starting point is 00:18:07 Your dad lies jets in your mom's a master chef so your grandfather is the coolest guy in the world Wait, she was on master chef like master chef Yeah, but she was just on the first season she was a contestant, but my mom's an incredible chef So she never let us grow up like eating the shitty lunch, you know, we know, like if you brought a lunchable to my home, my mom would like set it on fire. She's like, how dare you? But she's also Italian. So she's like, she got that firecracker in her.
Starting point is 00:18:32 Would she whip it up on Sundays, making a nice Sunday dinner? Oh, yeah, we would do a Sunday, or we could a longhorn steakhouse. You know what I mean? Here we go. Both sides of the coin with this one. I know, but it's good. We would take our private jet. But we also loved a long horn of flows full
Starting point is 00:18:46 A. Yeah, uh-huh. Wow, that really is the duality of a human right there. Yeah. Can't but say about liquid ID. Shout out to liquid I've isl baby. Shout out to all the athletes out there or the booze bags or the drunk shout out to you. That's right. Or if you're just not feeling well, do yourself a favor, get a liquid ID and you it's absolutely
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Starting point is 00:20:42 Yeah, baby. They've been a supporter of all three for years. I take it. You got a true, you know, you're a little dingleberry, a little ball, your twig and berries. Keep it clean. Maybe get on your air and a grondole. zip it up, zip it out. Then I touch up my beard.
Starting point is 00:20:59 Touch up the old mustache. That's your aftershave. Not sack by Kippy. That's Ramanda cheese by Kippy. Get 20% off and free shipping with the code garbage at manscape.com that's 20% off and free shipping with code garbage at manscape.com. Do it gang. My mom came from literally nothing. And so it's so funny when she, you know, and she was a very comfortable life now,
Starting point is 00:21:25 but she is still so cheap on some shit. It's great. That she keeps me very humble. When you got her in the house, does she get to keep her room? Or do you guys took the master bedroom? Yeah, she's in the primary, she's the master. And then we built, like, we took my old room
Starting point is 00:21:36 and like blew out a closet and made a bigger space. But we're on the same floor. So just so you know, I'm in my first year marriage, on the same floor with my mother. Like your mother. Yeah, and my mom's hot. In your room that you grew up in. And my room that I grew up in.
Starting point is 00:21:47 Yeah. And bunch of my friends, like, oh, there's a temporary thing that's so sweet. Like you're taking care of your mom. First of all, my mom doesn't look at day of her 40. She is 75, she is hot. She is like, she doesn't need to be taken care of. But she loves having us around.
Starting point is 00:21:59 That's great. And my husband gets treated like a king and I'm chopper lover. You know what I mean? Sure. So, you're mom doing the laundry and stuff? No, no, I mean she will, she's very helpful, but no, I'm not asking her to do that.
Starting point is 00:22:09 Okay. Yeah. All right. You got to place decorator right now for Halloween or the fall or anything like that. Say that one more time. Do you decorate the house for the fall or Halloween? Well, here's a deal.
Starting point is 00:22:18 Here's a deal. I love a themed party. I knew that about you. Oh yeah, I mean, I was a sorority girl. You kidding me? You give me any theme. I got you. However, I knew that about you. Oh yeah, I mean, I was a sorority girl. You kidding me? You give me any theme. I got you. However, my dad died at Christmas.
Starting point is 00:22:29 So we don't put up shittic Christmas. We go to the Turks and Kicos. Yeah, pretty good. Yeah, but no, we keep it nice. We keep it real nice, nice manicured lawn. It's nice. So you have a place on the Turks and Kicos that you guys like to always go? We do.
Starting point is 00:22:43 Shout out to Waimara. Waimara resorts and Villas. That's you just got a free weekend right here. Well, we own the place. So yeah, no, my dad helped a lot. I'm your dad helped developing? Yeah, my dad, my dad. Me and.
Starting point is 00:22:55 Yeah, my dad was one of the developers down there. But we still own a unit there, so that's our happy place. Oh, really? Yeah, the Turks and Kicos. A villa, you got a villa down there? No, we don't have a villa. That's on the vision board. I'd like to eventually buy a villa.
Starting point is 00:23:04 But no, we just have a one bedroom there and we go down and have a lot. That's not a time share, right? No, we don't have a villa. That's on the vision board. I'd like to eventually buy a villa. But no, we just have a one bedroom there and we go down and have a lot of time share. No, not a time share. No, no, no, no. You can just individually own the kids. Classy, just a classy lady. Talk about a time share. So right now, I would say.
Starting point is 00:23:15 I'm there, you think that I would have a time share. Right now you go over to you hop on a plane, you go down there, you let yourself right in. Yeah, well, I mean, Yeah, tell owning a property. Yeah, it's me and it's right, Wymara, but like, you know, we rented out to people. Of course., I mean, tell owning a property market. Yeah, it's me and a dry wine mara, but like, you know, we rented out to people. Of course.
Starting point is 00:23:27 So it's just run like a hotel and then if we want to block it off, but usually we get on there, we let's keep that rented and then all, you know, wheel and deal and get a villa. How long do you stay down there when you get on it for Christmas?
Starting point is 00:23:37 We go for a week. Go for the week. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Man, you're a little boss. This is, you're my, might be my favorite person. Listen, I'll let you guys go down there whenever I a real boss. I, listen, you're my, might be my favorite person.
Starting point is 00:23:46 Listen, I'll let you guys go down there, whatever. I love sharing this. I like you guys. I absolutely come down. Let's do it. I mean that, I'm not bullshitting, like come down to the shirt. We'll be there next week. Right, right, right.
Starting point is 00:23:56 You could look trying to get us out. Okay, what was your first job growing up? Well, of course, I did like the babysitting and the nanny and all that stuff, but I have worked every hospitality restaurant job I've been a hostess. I've been a waiter. I mean when I lived in New York as soon as I graduated college I worked at stout which is that giant Irish sports bar. I went on a horrible first date there one time. Yeah Oh, of course you did and I probably waited on you and it was it was a nightmare
Starting point is 00:24:20 But I that was I worked every restaurant job. You can imagine. Okay. Yeah, huh And then I worked in I'm when I moved to LA I worked for the like the real popular spin gym soul cycle sure That's when my soul left my body because I had to wait on fucking celebrities all day and they were a nightmare And then I did odd jobs for like celebrities and so what would you do at soul cycle? We an instructor no, I worked the front desk I literally was like the first chain of commands. You'd come in and I, all these celebrities would like, you know, I'm like, they would get my personal number
Starting point is 00:24:50 put in their phone, they'd text me, like, can you get me off the wait list? And if you're nice to me, if you're wrong. We all in in dealing. We all in dealing. If you brought me like a Chipotle gift card, if you're nice to me, then I would- They can bribe.
Starting point is 00:24:59 So I fully brought- It's a whole cycle. 100% worked the fucking system. I respect that. Yeah, yeah. And now I get to do projects with some of these people that I used to work on, or I'll see them out and about in industry shit, and I'm just like, you were a piece of shit.
Starting point is 00:25:12 You know what I mean? Love that. Listen, we're big on holding grudges around here. Absolutely. Do you like to eat in your room as a kid? Yes, but I would get screamed at. You know what I mean? I would stink it.
Starting point is 00:25:22 I was also a very chubby child, so I a lot of like you know hot cheetos and the closet shit like that got you yeah yeah my mom's then my sister's then and I took after my dad sugar cereal when you were a kid we allowed to have that in the house. Okay what was your go to my go to is golden grams but my mom would try and feed is some all natural like granola with the skin milk situation I had an almond mom if you know an almond mom is it's like a mom when you're hungry she's like second an almond. Oh yeah. Yeah. I have free almonds. Yeah. I'm talking almond mom. If you know what an almond mom is, it's like a mom when you're hungry. She's like, second an almond. Oh, yeah. I have free almonds.
Starting point is 00:25:47 It's like, lady, I'm talking about a hootie. Yeah. Yeah. But my mom would make us like, you know, I had the house set after the movies when you were in like junior high. People came over because my mom would make chicken paccata like on the spot. She fed us. People wanted to come over to my house, staying out with my parents because they were cool. And they fed you well. It wasn't. People wanted to come over to my house, staying out with my parents, because they were cool. And they fed you well. It wasn't, I had to go to everybody else's house for like cheddar checks mix and like cool range Doritos. Any sodas in the house growing up?
Starting point is 00:26:12 Yeah, my dad was addicted to caffeine-free diet coke. I was like, the brown one. The gold can. The gold can. The brown can, yes. Where they can't get two liters. Can's. Oh, yeah, yeah, Chris can.
Starting point is 00:26:23 I mean, my dad would literally, he wasn't a big drinker. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Chris can. I mean, my dad would literally, he wasn't a big drinker. He would pack when he would fly. He'd back like a soft-sided, like, yeti cooler with, like, 45 caffeine-free diet coax. It is 100%. Fine. A planey. What you think?
Starting point is 00:26:36 Can I have whatever the alley wants? Exactly. Yeah. Did you guys have a garage fridge at the house growing up? Uh, yes, and still do. Absolutely. What's in there? What you got there?
Starting point is 00:26:44 Oh, you know, like the frozen pizzas. Also, like, my always had like lamb. Like my mom will cook a lamb chop at like, if I come home from tour at like 2 a.m., I'm like, mom, can I have a chop? She's, you know, a lot of rock. Can I have a chop? Yeah. That's a classic. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:54 Best lamb chops. I bet your mom does chops, right? Yeah, she does. Right. Yeah, with Marc Sala mushrooms. But here's the thing, go to Costco. They have the best lamb chops and a great deal. Go to Costco to get your chops.
Starting point is 00:27:04 I got you. I mean, what are we doing? One of the pounds of go to Costco. They have the best lamb chops and a great deal. Go to Costco to get your chops. I got you. I mean, what are we doing? What are we doing? It's a chop. Yeah. You mentioned frozen pizza. What kind of frozen pizza you're banging with? I mean, back in the day though, it was only to Jornow.
Starting point is 00:27:13 You know what I mean? You didn't have, we were in Atlanta. That's what we dealt with. What are you banging with now? Oh God. It's probably some like gluten free bullshit because Amy is or something. Power power.
Starting point is 00:27:24 Yeah, power power, how do you make power guy? How do you feel about the Stofers French bread pizza? Oh, fuck me up. Yeah. That's the right answer. Yeah, fuck me up.
Starting point is 00:27:34 It's up to a plane. Let's go to France and get some baby. Absolutely. Um, you guys have ever been kicked out of a restaurant as a family? Um, no, we haven't. Well, we got close to. We were actually in Charleston, South Carolina. And this shot to Charleston.
Starting point is 00:27:47 Shout out to Charleston. And this woman came up and was trying to do a bit like with my mom because my mom is a thick Bostonian accent. Oh, they don't like that. No, and my mom turned. And my mom thinks she's a southern bell because she's lived in Atlanta for like, you know, forever. But my mom's like packing the can and having yet.
Starting point is 00:28:01 So she sits at her country club and is like, I'm so sad. Then what are you talking about? You're not wrong. Robin get a grip, okay? But we were the people that people got annoyed at a restaurant because we were really loud. And this is like one tender memory. Like I had fun with my family.
Starting point is 00:28:17 It just, we called ourselves a nuclear family. It's like my dad, my mom, my sister and I. We would go to restaurants and laugh so hard and like, raise each other and have the best time. So people got annoyed. They were always telling us to be quiet at the country club. We had a really good time.
Starting point is 00:28:30 I respected that. You're having a good time. Yeah. I said like Rodney Dangerfield. Yeah, no literally. Yeah. I got no respect. Oh man.
Starting point is 00:28:38 What kind of car are you whipping around in now if you don't mind me asking? Oh yeah, I got a Q5 white least outie. I'm new money. There you go. I'm personal new money. So I'm leased Audi. I'm new money, personal new money. So I'm leasing it through the business as my financial advisor told me to do. I still have my 2015 jetta though.
Starting point is 00:28:53 That's what my husband's driving. I love that jetta. There you go. I love it. A white Audi. A white Audi. Yeah, that's kind of the answer to you. That's a right-of-passage.
Starting point is 00:29:00 When you make a little money and you're a southern white woman, you get either a white Lexus, a white Mercedes, or a white Audi. That are you're in the Russian mafia. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Do you eat in the car?
Starting point is 00:29:09 Sorry. Do you eat in the car? Hell yeah, Chick-fil-A 24-7. Okay. Go to the waffle house, pick up a pecan waffle and just eat it in my car and cry. Yes, absolutely. You can eat in the car.
Starting point is 00:29:22 Okay, what kind of air freshener you got in there? No air freshener. I gotta be honest with you, they give me a headache, a horrible headache. You know, I just let the windows, you know, just some fresh Georgia air. You're washing the car on the reg, you get a detailed, you get the inside done. My husband is very, he does that for me.
Starting point is 00:29:36 Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're washing the car on the driveway. No, no, no, no, no, absolutely not. Oh, he goes and gets it done. No, that H-O-A would never let us do that in the drive right. No, no, no, no. You don't do chores in public. No, no, no., that's the H.O.A. would never let us do that in the drive. No, no, no, no. You don't do chores in public.
Starting point is 00:29:47 No, no, no. Who's cutting the grass? You guys cut it, you gotta, you gotta. Oh, no, we got a lawn, we got a lawn team. All right. Yeah, we got a whole team. Yeah, we got a lawn team. Okay.
Starting point is 00:29:56 I tell you, man, I don't really know here. Okay. I do. I don't know. I like this. There's dirt under the fingernails for sure. What was your first concert you went to spice girls? That's of the time that it was the fourth grade and my dad took me with all my girlfriends and it was like the coolest did he fly anywhere?
Starting point is 00:30:12 No, it was just in Atlanta was in Moscow, but yeah Yeah, but he was like a kid in a candy shop because it was like him and all these hot moms You know, it's pretty cool. What about the poster situation on the wall in the room is a kid who jab? I had the spice girls and I had like two I had just in temper like from in sync I thought everybody else was ugly. I gotta be honest with you the backstreet boys and insane They were they were not cute and any women who say like the JT You're not wrong if you look back now looking back They were like they just thought they were at all attractive guys
Starting point is 00:30:42 They were not like you look back now, they were fucking mutants. The one was like 42. Yeah, but you don't have to Joey. You shout out to Joey. You've done actually funny story. I was on mushrooms at the Cardi B concert before the Super Bowl like a couple years ago. Joey Fattone's brother was a videographer for Cardi B and was, and literally all of a sudden, next to you know, I end up on the jumbo trot.
Starting point is 00:31:05 This is my first time doing mushrooms. So I am just living. A lot of fuck you up. He comes up to me afterwards, he's like, by the way, my wife's a big fan, so I just wanted to put you on the jumbo trot all night. I'm like, I'm high as fuck right now. I'm losing my mind.
Starting point is 00:31:17 Jaming me up. Yes. Shout out to Steve, Steve Fathon. Steve Fathon. Steve Fathon. Okay. You have peanut butter fan. Oh, huge. What do you got at the house right now? What brand? What do you rock it? Can I be honest with you? I have every nut butter you can imagine. Okay. I got, I really
Starting point is 00:31:34 like Trader Joe's. I'm a Trader Joe's girl now. I, yeah, that's where I thrive. Okay. Are you like going and, and shopping yourself? Let me tell you, do you get an order? No, let me give you a little ASMR. I wanna run my fingers across all the different hummus dips. I wanna look, I get the Trader Joe's frequent flyer because I'm on the road so often that when I'm home, I really love to do like really hardcore domestic things. Like the Costco, that's why I know about the chops. I like to just go and shop and peruse,
Starting point is 00:32:02 and then I'm home for two days, and I don't eat any food. Like, you know, like, I mean, I set my, my husband up nice, but. Okay. I get that. So it's greater Joe's brand peanut butter. Yeah, I like. Crunchier creamy. I have both.
Starting point is 00:32:13 They also have a mixed nut butter that is like super salty and it's delicious. Ooh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love my hazelnut spread. I love it all. And what are you putting that on? If you make a PB and J, first of all I assume the the jelly of the jam is from Chader Joe's as well. Yeah, I like that or I'll do something from Whole Foods
Starting point is 00:32:28 You know what I mean? I get some sort of nice nice and I'll upgrade the jam but I Strawberry mix berry. Oh, I'll do it all boys and berry go. She's very I don't give a shit multi grain bread What are we using? I'm really a big sourdough fan and I know that if you've never had a PB and J on a sourdough It's delicious sourdough fan and I know that's if you've never had a PB&J on a sourdough, it's delicious. Sourdough is making a comeback. You know, other right now. Yeah. They're gonna be the next cauliflower I'm telling you.
Starting point is 00:32:51 But if you also have eczema and a little gluten intolerant, you can handle sourdough. Yeah, it's good for you. Yeah. Okay. Have you ever owned a big mouth billy bass? No. This feels like a bit of a layup.
Starting point is 00:33:04 Have you ever ridden a mechanical bowl? Absolutely. It's got one in the house. Yeah. All right, we're just schoolin' Mississippi. Yeah, when it was our thesis. Yeah, absolutely. Come on now.
Starting point is 00:33:13 Don't insult me. Of course I have. Have you ever named a pet in a voicemail? Named a pet in a voicemail. What do you mean? Hey, you've reached Heather and... Oh, no, no, absolutely not. Okay.
Starting point is 00:33:24 No. Okay, ever seen a UFO? Abs, yes. Lay it on us. Okay. I'm your mushroom. Can I be honest with you? Steve Fittone. Steve Fittone, what's up?
Starting point is 00:33:33 In the Turks and K-Cos. When you're out there and it's quiet and you're looking at the stars, I have definitely seen some things that I thought were, you know, not of this world. Yeah. And listen, a lot of people in aviation will tell you, like, my dad used to see some shit, said, I said, my pop-up. Yeah, but you didn't really talk about my dad was a jacking lion. I'll pay it at that.
Starting point is 00:33:53 That's not the straight shooter. You got them American hero. Yeah, right. Oh, yeah, I believe in aliens, full force. How do you feel about pineapple on pizza? Can I be honest with you? It's delicious. You are a politician.
Starting point is 00:34:04 I like that. No, it's delicious. And you know, what I really love is to get a Hawaiian pizza and then just a fuck ton of ranch and then like a Polynesian sauce from Chick-fil-A mix it all together. It's delicious. Wait a minute. You're using the Chick-fil-A sauce on other things other than Chick-fil-A items? Yes, I'm from Atlanta, Georgia.
Starting point is 00:34:20 That's going in a file. Okay, great. That ain't great. Have you ever ordered stuffed crust pizza? Yeah, that's what everybody did. I mean, Papa John's, I know, is pizza hot stuffed crust pizza back in the day. If it didn't almost choke you out. Like if your crust wasn't like a mozzarella stick,
Starting point is 00:34:35 then what were you doing? Yeah. If you had to choose between what would be your chain delivery pizza at the house now if you had to do it? Oh, now if I had to do it. Papa John's Domino's Pizza Hut. I would say I prefer a Domino's moment because I like the thin crust.
Starting point is 00:34:53 It's like very like wafer crispy. I give it to you. Yeah, but growing up, big Papa John's family. Papa down the South, they were, it was based from down there. Yeah. It's right. I think he's from St. Louis, but the thing is again, it's a sauce. If you're from the South, you're very big in a condiment. Yeah. I think
Starting point is 00:35:08 he's from St. Louis. Yeah. Shout out, Papa John. I think he's a horrible guy. Yeah. I don't think he's a great guy. But love to growing up. Huh. Okay. Were you reused to go containers? Uh, no, absolutely not. No. Well, you take leftovers home from a restaurant. I would, but I'm weird. I don't love leftovers. but my, yes, everybody else in my family loves a leftover. I'm anti-left over. It's been well documented, but I think it's, it's, it's, it's, it's what are we doing here? What are we doing? Yeah, I'll go, yeah, I'll go get more French fries or whatever.
Starting point is 00:35:35 I don't need, I don't need to take these home. If you go out to dinner, are you picking up the check most of the times? Every single time. Yes. Now my mom, now she's gotten used to it. I mean, that's why when she was like, you know, you owe me three into Dallas. I'm like, mom, shut up.
Starting point is 00:35:49 You haven't paid for a lunch in three years since I moved out. I don't wanna hear it. Credit score is good. Yes, now it is. And the irony of it was when my dad died. Now it is. Now it is.
Starting point is 00:36:00 My dad told me about credit. That was the one thing you learned about it. And then when he died, I, you know, my career was not where it was. And I was just like, fuck this. And I somehow got, you know, a credit card. And I ruined my credit. But now it's back.
Starting point is 00:36:12 We're back, baby. We're back, baby. If you do order takeout, you get takeout or delivered to the house. So you get an entree or whatever. Will you plate that food or will you eat it out of the takeout container? I'll tell you what, I love eating off real silverware in real China.
Starting point is 00:36:27 And we went to, I go to Italy a lot. Okay. I got to Italy a lot. That's what I do. I got married there last year. I was just there. We got married in Florence. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:38 Yeah. Yeah. Long away from fucking long horns. They can't say it out much. Sure. My family Sicilian, my husband's family is from all over in Italy, and so that's our happy place. A lot of people in South get lake houses, we just spend our money in good Italy a couple times a year.
Starting point is 00:36:51 But I said that because in Italy, they only eat off real silver and real China. And so after my wedding, I was like, why the fuck am I eating off this bullshit? So I make a real cappuccino in the morning in the China. Like, why do you have your grandmother's China if you're not gonna eat or drink off of it? So I like nice plates.
Starting point is 00:37:07 That's what I like. I like nice plates. Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna express it. You're gonna express it when she does that. Absolutely, the shout out to Breville. Yeah, and William Sonoma. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:15 Some reason I just imagine your China has dail or hardtune or whatever. Oh, fuck yeah. That's what I'm saying. Are it stolen from somewhere? Yeah, it's a hot glass, man. She's got good taste. She does.
Starting point is 00:37:24 Taste made. You're refined. Ref's a real ass man. She's got good taste. She does. She tastes made. You're refined. You're a refined Southern, Southern belt. Wait, so the wedding was in Florence. Yes. How many people were there? We had like 250. What?
Starting point is 00:37:34 Everybody paid to get themselves there, all that stuff. Yeah, they did. Okay. And I didn't know when I planned this wedding, I specifically chose a destination because, well, one, my dad was dead, so I wanted to look at a new experience. And two, if I had a wedding in Atlanta, every fucking sorority sister that I hadn have to effectively chose a destination because one, my dad was dead, so I wanted to have a new experience. And two, if I had a wedding in Atlanta,
Starting point is 00:37:47 every fucking sorority sister that I hadn't talked to in 25 years was gonna expect an invite, right? And I was like, I'm not doing that. Two, fifths, crazy influence. But you don't realize, because obviously it's like a hundred and something, you know, 125 and then everybody gets a guess. So I was like, everybody gets a guess.
Starting point is 00:38:01 I didn't want any of it. If you're traveling all that way, you get a buddy. And then I didn't think that many people were gonna come because it was a destination, but everybody was like, fuck that, it's Italy, let's go. That is that thing of like, fuck it, we're, it's not a crazy flight, it's what, seven hours or what, it's not like, 14 hour flight.
Starting point is 00:38:17 Did you do a band or a DJ? So in Italy, you really need to do a DJ because there's nothing, when I interviewed a bunch of the different bands, it's like people with, nobody knows Toby Keith for a minute. Yeah, nobody knows Toby bands. It's like people with no one knows Toby key for it. Yeah, nobody knows. They're like singing, you know, Kelly Clarkson since you've been gone and like a horrible
Starting point is 00:38:31 Italian accent. Since you are. Been a guy. Yeah. But we had DJ Riemau. I want to give a big shout out to DJ Riemau. Who was the best? I had the best.
Starting point is 00:38:42 He had ketamine for every. Yeah. Shout out to Rima. Cocktail hour with your derbs? Absolutely. Okay. Pastor derbs are on the table. Pastor derbs first of all. I'm gonna tell you another really old guy.
Starting point is 00:38:54 I'm gonna tell you another really old guy. I'm gonna tell you another really old guy. I'm gonna tell you another really old guy. I'm gonna tell you another really old guy. I'm gonna tell you another really old guy. I'm gonna tell you another really old guy. I'm gonna tell you another really old guy. I'm gonna tell you another really old guy.
Starting point is 00:39:01 I'm gonna tell you another really old guy. I'm gonna tell you another really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really I had a pasta station. I had pizza. It's Italy. Jesus. But you have to realize my wedding was fucking incredible. It was over the top. I'll tell you right now. If you're gonna judge me on anything, you look at my wedding photos. That was the classiest party that's ever been thrown ever.
Starting point is 00:39:13 Period. I had the best wedding. I've never had someone challenge. Yeah. I dare you. Go fuck yourself. Judge me on my wedding. Did you have a costume change? Absolutely. I knew it. Let's go. First of all, I'm a very attractive female.
Starting point is 00:39:26 Why would I not give you options, all right? Just guy in there, T-bone. Yeah, we had fireworks, though, and- You had fireworks? Yeah. What the fuck? But the- Something's not adding up here.
Starting point is 00:39:37 The best part was we did the fireworks and we were making this traditional Italian cake underneath the fireworks and we were too close to them. So all the ash started raining down and destroyed the cake. And people were like hitting the deck, but the guy who did my fireworks was like, basically think of a fireworks guy.
Starting point is 00:39:53 Yeah, but he was like the version, like the swamp people version. Like I say, yeah, there we go. Yeah, like was missing a hand, you know. He was a red neck guy from the Tuscan hills. What's the traditional Italian wedding cake? What did you have? What is it called?
Starting point is 00:40:07 Amila Fijole, I think. I'm butchering it right now. I'm butchering it. I'm so sorry to all my Italian heritage. But it's layers of like, essentially kind of like a philodo, like a thindo, and then you cream and berries. It was fucking great.
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Starting point is 00:43:36 When's the first time you had an Attella? You probably had an Attella all grown up, didn't you? No, I mean, when did I first have an Attella? I don't know. Uh, probably when I went abroad. We traveled abroad, so yeah, probably when I went abroad. Nutella didn't come to the States to like, we were in college. It's not, it was a couple of years ago, I know.
Starting point is 00:43:52 No. Huh. Any turquoise jewelry? Yeah, I love a turquoise moment. You do? Yeah, I do. I do. Okay.
Starting point is 00:44:02 Any turquoise jewelry, I fucking died. Anyone in your family pronounced today is the week as Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday? No, I do. Okay. Any tour toy story I fucking died. Anyone in your family pronounce the days of the week as Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday? No, absolutely not. Okay. Anyone in your family have a standalone hot tub? Oh, fuck now. You guys got a pool house? We do salt water.
Starting point is 00:44:16 Woo! Important from Italy. Important. I got a water, guys. Fill the pelligrino. Yeah. So much of lime floating around. Yeah, okay. Now with the reason we built the pool is because my dad.
Starting point is 00:44:31 Who built the pool? Your mom did it or you guys did? My dad did. The pool's been there for a while. Okay. My dad was a big southern guy. Any and like a knee replacement. They were like, oh, the pool would be good.
Starting point is 00:44:40 So we built the pool. And like, he was going to swim every day. And he and I both have eczema. So we got saltwater because it's good for us. Okay. We, my dad never did laps. That's all I want to say. Yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:44:51 Yeah, there's a younger one. Is there a hot tub in the pool? Not a hot tub. No, I'm not a hot tub girl. Okay. I really don't love a hot tub. I like a dry sauna. What, that's the next classy thing I want to build
Starting point is 00:45:01 into my home is some sort of dry infrared sauna. But I don't like a hot tub because when you have a tiny urethra, you get UTIs frequently. What? Get here. I have a small p-hole. So it's sometimes I get UTIs. Yeah. All right.
Starting point is 00:45:17 Do you have an outdoor blender? No, but we do have an outdoor bar. We have an unipizza oven and a trigger grill. Sukmedic. Yeah. Yeah, you fucking loser. Who the fuck needs a blender? I'm making Zal over here. I got no, I got no roommate to the cat. I'm doing all right. Yeah. Huh. Do you make your bed in the morning?
Starting point is 00:45:38 I tried to. Yeah. Okay. I don't have like a housekeeper coming to do it. If that's what we're pushing. No, no, I mean, you know, I mean, no, I'm kind of a mess. My husband calls me like Hurricane Heather because again, I'm on the road, I come home, I'm home for 24 hours. There's shit everywhere. And you guys have energy to you.
Starting point is 00:45:53 You're like, you're moving and shaking. Exactly. King size bed? Absolutely. Okay. Yeah. Do they? Yes, and a nice quilt.
Starting point is 00:46:01 Yes, and this is what's really great. I didn't take my husband's name. And so all of our monogram, because we're Southern, I'm Southern, all my monogram sheets have my initials because that's tradition. If you don't take the other person's name, you take the woman's initials. So everything is hkm.
Starting point is 00:46:16 It's my initials on everything. Oh, yeah. Let's go. It's a power move. Did you say you put a, you guys put a new bathroom in your room, right? Yeah. His and her sinks. Yes Double vanity double. Yeah, heated floors. Not heated floors. No, because I'm in Atlanta
Starting point is 00:46:32 Yeah, we're hot all the time. I run hot too my husband's a big guy. I'm a big gal We don't need we don't need to be sweating more than we already are separate bathroom and separate bath and shower or are they together? Well, they're technically together, but also my husband has his own bathroom in the other room. Like, you know what I mean? Yes, that's my area. Whoa. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:52 You got a walk in closet, I presume? Absolutely. He got one too. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. We're in a 7,000 square foot home. What? But we're also in Atlanta, Georgia.
Starting point is 00:47:00 We're not in New York. You know what I mean? Like, you can all seven. That's a large house. It is. Man. That ain't too bad. Thanks Kyle. You're flying up front? Absolutely. She probably flying a fucking plane. Get out of the way. You know what my grandfather was. Can I be honest with you? That is where I spend my money. And Niso tells
Starting point is 00:47:18 and I and I obviously like to fly up front because I'm just I slept to fucking much. Or the end of the year. Yeah. I'm'm not doing it. I was in the back for too long. Mom was up front. 100% will you bring food on the plane with you? I like a little snack pack every once in a while. I don't want the blood sugar to dip because I'm also, I fly, I'm loyal to Delta. So how many times can I have pistachios and vicks, you know, salt chips? Sure, I like their gummy bears.
Starting point is 00:47:40 They're little veggie gummies. Those are great. They wear off on you. No, they love them. No, they're out of people as well. Yeah, Yeah. Platinum. No. Yeah. I'm platinum. I'm gold. He's platinum. You're gonna be diamond. I'm diamond. Of course. And I got to be honest. Anybody who's listening from Delta, you know, I deserve 360. And I would really like for somebody to hand me Delta 360. What's that? It's like this exclusive club you got to get invited into.
Starting point is 00:48:02 Well, I got to get in that now. Yeah, yeah, you gotta get diamond first. They're not even gonna look at you unless you get diamond. Boseau. Yeah, come on, get your life together. You're gold, you. Yeah, but I'm traveling every weekend. Yeah, so.
Starting point is 00:48:14 If I didn't have status, I'd be doing it wrong. Sure. You like quail eggs? Oh yeah, they're nice. Favorite eggs Benedict? I don't really love eggs Benedict. No, really? Yeah, I don't love a holiday sauce. Huh? Yeah, I like creamy sauces, but I don't really love eggs Benedict. No. Yeah, I don't love a holiday sauce.
Starting point is 00:48:25 Huh. Yeah, I like creamy sauces, but I don't love a holiday. I don't like a runny egg. I like a nice omelet. What's a perfect breakfast for you? Oh, okay, like a cheese grits, a cheese grits, some sort of biscuit, and a big thick apple would smoke bacon.
Starting point is 00:48:42 There's a few eggs. How might it be scrambled? Scramble with veggies, yeah. With veggies. Yeah. a busy eggs. How might it scrambled? Scramble with veggies. Yeah. Or veggies. How many eggs you're not coming back? Three. Okay.
Starting point is 00:48:51 How do you feel about biscuits and gravy? Um, so again, not a big gravy gal. I don't like white gravy. And I, listen, I want to say. I'm breaking my heart. I know, I'm sorry, but it is thick. I mean, if you can't, I can ask you to believe if you want me to. Yeah, please, get the fuck out of here.
Starting point is 00:49:02 It is delicious, but I can't eat it anymore because then I'll shit myself in the evening. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Would you ever get clothes for an event and then return them? Oh, yes. I'm not a fool.
Starting point is 00:49:14 Again, I'm new money. The tags are still on this dress right now. Okay. Yeah. Are they really? No, this is my own clothing line. It's like my neck, everybody. Is it your own clothing line?
Starting point is 00:49:23 No, this is a collab I did with my girlfriend. Shout out to show me your moomo. Yeah, I did the eye design. The shadow line. Yeah, diversifying. I'm a classy broad. I'm gonna see you on Shark Tank in a couple of weeks. Yeah, for real.
Starting point is 00:49:34 Huh. What's the Mayo situation? Do you like... Dukes, only Dukes. Okay, no miracle whip. No, miracle whip is not a mayonnaise. Dukes is the only way to go. Shout out to Dukes. She's classy. What, let's see, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I used to love growing up when you had the Mediterranean spot. It was called like nature's bistro. And they always handed out like the honey mustard chicken that's not Mediterranean with the veggies.
Starting point is 00:50:09 Yeah, I'm not a panda express gal. If that's where we're going, it's not my thing. Okay. And I love Asia food, but I don't like, I want a real soup dumpling. You know, I want authentic. All right. Are you a foodie?
Starting point is 00:50:20 You go to nice restaurants, you treat yourself nice. I treat myself, that's why I spend my money on food and first class tickets. Sushi, like sushi. You treat yourself nice. I treat myself. That's why I spend my money on food and first class tickets sushi Like sushi. I love it. Oh, he's raw oysters. I Oysters are like that's on my deathbed. I want to see food tower with oysters. She likes this Grab claws. Yeah, again, I'm from the south. I an oyster and a glass of you know, like a Miller high life That's that's a good day to me. Okay. I three. It is the champagne of beer. It is it is huh Yeah, these are great. I threw you off the edge. It is the Champaign of Beers. It is. It is.
Starting point is 00:50:46 Yeah. These are great. I really, this is really fun. Do you know what the term bogo is? Bogo by when get one? Okay. All right. I'm a Maxine.
Starting point is 00:50:56 I love a TJ Maxx. I love a Nordstrom rack. Yeah. We were just in Nordstrom because I didn't bring a coat in New York because I was just down in Baton Rouge. And I was like, the coat that they picked out for me was like $1,400. I'm not stupid. I go to, when I go to Europe, that's when I buy my expensive designer bags.
Starting point is 00:51:09 I'm not buying it at the store. I'm fit to Avenue. Why? So I'm not going to get the VAT tax return. Are you out of your mind? This 12% I want to back. She skimmed VAT tax. I don't even know what that is.
Starting point is 00:51:18 I'm not going to get the VAT tax return. I'm not going to get the VAT tax return. Are you out of your mind? This 12% I want to back. She skimmed VAT tax. I don't even know what that is. I'm not going to get the VAT tax return. I'm not going to get the VAT tax return. I'm not going to get the VAT tax return. I'm not going to get the VAT tax return. I'm, I've never met anybody at a bar closing Europe. Well, I can't buy clothes in Europe because they don't make stuff that for, you know, they make it for tiny people.
Starting point is 00:51:27 But I buy the nice hand masks. I'm a European six XL. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If we came over to the house right now and offered us water, what would we be getting out of the tap, a brita, a bottle? Okay, this is where I'm a real new money bitch.
Starting point is 00:51:39 Let me tell you what I got. And I made my first check. I put in a crushed ice, like sonic ice with the little tiny little pellets. So I got a really fancy ice maker. I didn't know what I'm thinking. He put it crushed ice with it. I did.
Starting point is 00:51:52 The really good crushed ice. Sonic ice? Yeah, type in sonic ice. Oh, like sonic. The drive-through. You have that kind of... What? What, your house?
Starting point is 00:52:01 Yeah, you can buy, I know it's not branded from Sonic, but that's the kind of ice. The little pebble, the BB ice. The BB ice. The BB ice. So it was not branded from Sonic, but that's the kind of ice that that little Pebble the BB ice BB ice So it was like 5K and I bought that freezer so I had that 5000 nice that is the trashiest classy thing I've ever heard of my What's new money and you're my hero? There is nothing better than having a nice iced tea or a nice ice coffee with the good ice So if you come to my house, I mean, I'm getting it filtered out of the fridge, you know, okay?
Starting point is 00:52:24 Or I'll have we have a lot of pellegrino or periae. I'm a sparkling. Also shout out to a spindrift big spindrift gal. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah. What's the appliances in the kitchen? You got a sub Z stainless steel. We do have a sub Z stainless steel, but I'm trying to think what's the what's what's it's not we don't have like a wall fringe, but we have a nice another. But another, I, but you know, wolf that new classy. Yeah, come on. Pretty good, man. Hardwood floors.
Starting point is 00:52:50 You keep the butter on the counter. You keep it in the fridge. Yes, always keep it soft. And then I always have some mold and sea salt on the side to put on top. Mold and easy pain. Stop. I got a box of that. It was late on my red payment, but are you flossing every day?
Starting point is 00:53:03 Oh, yeah, I got a water pick off Amazon Prime Day. If you've haven't done the water pick, it'll change your life I can't get behind it. I tried really can't do it. I like it. What's a toothpaste? Is it Marvis or made this Marvis? It's the Italian brand. They do breaks. Yeah, Marvis or made this. I can't remember Marvis, I can't remember. You're paying toothpaste? Yeah, I like it. Can I be honest with you, the crest and all that shit makes my mouth like, I don't like it. Dry, dries you out.
Starting point is 00:53:32 Yeah. Italian toothpaste. Marvis, it looks like you got it from an apothecary too. Yeah, Marvis toothpaste. What's that going for? Tea bones? Yeah. It's expensive.
Starting point is 00:53:41 Uh, 13. 13 for toothpaste. Where the hell you getting that Italy? No, you got to pay the vet tax. Get it on Amazon Prime Deck. Oh, yeah. Gucci, much. The other one, what are you using?
Starting point is 00:53:55 Brand called Necessaire. It comes from a volcano in Italy. Yeah, no, let me tell you, I have. This broads classy. If you're a woman and you're listening to this podcast, we're watching this right now and and you're still using aluminum. There's about four of them. Right.
Starting point is 00:54:07 So, to love you ladies. Michelle Lisa and Tiff. There is a Tiff, for sure. You should not be using anything with aluminum. You know better, it gets into your lymph nodes, and that's why the rate of breast cancer side. That's all, that's my soap box and I'm off. Okay.
Starting point is 00:54:23 I like it. Classy PSA too. Safety first. Man. Man. You pee in the shower? Yeah, that's a natural thing. Okay. Yeah, honestly, it says when it hits me the hot water, I'm also a woman, you know what I mean? Like we, we don't get to pee out in the wild as much as y'all get to. So the shower is a safe space to pee. I'll give it to you. I respect that. You brush your teeth in there? Yeah. Huh. Not every day, but if I'm in there and I got to whip it out, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:50 The toothbrush isn't in there though, right? No, I'll bring the toothbrush in and then take it out. No, no, it sits on my, it's charger, it's electric. I'm not, I'm not, I have a raw dog toothbrush. People do that. Well, they're animals. They're animals. You're not raw.
Starting point is 00:55:02 You're not raw. Oh, what'd you call the remote control? A clicker. Clicker's bad. I know. I'm on for Boston. Clicker. How do we as a clicker? We're the do Hickey. She's like, where's the thing? I'm gonna do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. He's a Christ.
Starting point is 00:55:16 Maybe good. Huh. If you go to a to CVS or whatever and you make a purchase, we use your debit card, will you get cash back? No, not a CVS because that always seems sketchy, but I do use my, I do put my, I do put my, I put in my rewards. Like I'm getting my rewards. I'll give you that, I'll give you that.
Starting point is 00:55:34 So you're not a cash back girl. No, I'm not a cash back girl. No, I go to Chase once a week and I get out like 500 bucks cash. And that's what I do. Yeah, because right, and shout out to my friend Tina, who I haven't been to Chase this week, and I'm literally like, hey, I need 20 bucks. Because here's the other thing,
Starting point is 00:55:49 I am after working in hospitality forever. I'm always like, cash. I try to take care of it. Breaking people off. Probably a good tip or I would imagine. I am a very good tip or I mean, even if you could spit in my food and take a dump on the table,
Starting point is 00:56:00 and I'm still like, oh, 20%. Will you send anything back? What would be the reasons for that? I mean, if something's under cooked, like if you're giving me raw chicken and I'm still so passive, not even passive, I'm just passive about it. I'm like, I'm so sorry, I'll apologize.
Starting point is 00:56:14 But this is, you know, this still has the feathers on it. Okay, will you ask to change a table to a restaurant? I will not, my mother as soon as we sit down and ask to change a table. And she has never worked in a restaurant and it is the beta my existence. Yeah. Yeah. How you getting your steak cooked? I like medium. I don't understand how people do it black and blue. Now I love a beef tartar. I love a beef carpaccio. But I like a medium. I really do. I don't I'm
Starting point is 00:56:41 I'm right there with you. Because it could go either way. It's always going to be a little undercooked and then when it comes out sizzling, you know what I mean with the butter and the thing, it's perfect. And the last 365 days have you eaten fried okra? Apps, I had fried okra this weekend. I was in Mississippi.
Starting point is 00:56:56 How did you feel about the boiled peanut? I love a boiled peanut. Okay. Yeah, I think actually in New York, you know, everybody has like the toasted pecans or whatever, the sugar pecans. Those smell better than they taste, but a boiled peanut on the side of the road
Starting point is 00:57:08 when you're driving to Oxford, Mississippi is a great treat. Yes, yeah. Do you know cookout? You know the place cookout done at 4 a.m.? I get a cheese case of Dia and like a milkshake? Yeah. A milkshake. Cheese case of Dia and a milkshake.
Starting point is 00:57:20 Yeah, cookout's unbelievable. Yeah. I went there once when I was at the Laughing Skull Festival. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Place blue Yeah, I went there once when I was the laughing skull festival. Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, please blew my mind the hush puppies So good takes a couple extra minutes, but you're waiting for the quality So all right, you know what I do I wait for quality. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you have you have a checkbook I do have checks, but I don't know I I'm, isn't everything digital now? For the most part, yeah. My mom knows where my checkbook is,
Starting point is 00:57:46 so she has texts of me today. I'm just gonna cut a check. So she's just been signing checks herself. From my checkbook. And he told me that 300, I'll just write a check. Any balloons or anything on the checks? No, great. No, straight check.
Starting point is 00:57:58 Straight check. I respect it. Now I did, my first debit card was a Susan G. Coleman card because it was black. Sure. And I just had a tiny little, you know, the little pig ribbon in the corner. Um, so I got that because I thought like, oh, maybe people like at first glance, I think it's like a black hand. Make it till you make it, baby.
Starting point is 00:58:15 Yeah, I was like 22. I'm like, but I have electrical tape over that. Yeah. Yeah. Any of your cards or debit cards have the activation stickers to long. No, no, but my mom does that. My mom does not take the activation sticker on because she. No, no. But my mom does that. My mom doesn't take the activation sticker on because she doesn't want if her wallets stolen, she doesn't want people to think that the car will work.
Starting point is 00:58:31 Yes, Boston Robin. Man, that's awesome. Yeah. That is some crazy logic right there. I like it. Well, clearly, we're not gonna try this. The sticker's on there. What's the wallet?
Starting point is 00:58:42 What brand do you reckon? Oh, shout out to my leather my leather gal, Papini in Florence, Italy. What? What? I got I got a leather gal. I've brought her so much business. Shout out to such such Julia. She's the best. I buy all my stuff from Papini in Florence, Italy. And who are you? Yeah. I'm a classy broad. You are a greasy bro. What you wear is shoes in the house? Um, yes and no. Growing up, we were absolutely not allowed to wear shoes in the house, but now I do wear shoes in the house.
Starting point is 00:59:12 Now at your house, you'll do whatever you want. Yeah, exactly. You got a swiffer? Uh, yeah, and a wet chat. I know what you got a rumbo? I got a rumbo, but we don't do the rumbo. I bought two of my French bulldogs. I've destroyed it.
Starting point is 00:59:23 You know what I love, shout out. I had to chase them to the thing around it. Shout out to Shark. I like the Shark boat. I bought two of my French bulldogs. I've destroyed it. You know what I love, shout out to Jason, the thing around it. Shout out to Shark. I like the Shark vacuum. You like the Shark. And you know what? When I went to Costco, I splurged.
Starting point is 00:59:31 I got a shark for every floor of the house. Digin' ass. I paid you for a, for a Dyson gal. I got a Dyson air purifier, but I like the shark vacuum a lot. Wait, you mean the Dyson, the, no, that's not it. Yeah, the, the, the one that you leave in the room. Yeah. You keep that all when you, when you go to bed at night.
Starting point is 00:59:49 I do. Yeah. Sealing fan in the room. Absolutely. I run hot. You do. You go to, you guys go to sleep with the TV on. Um, my husband like falls asleep in like three seconds and it takes me like two and a half
Starting point is 01:00:00 hours to fall asleep. So he'll fall asleep with the TV on. I'm usually on the TikToks giggling. Okay. Yeah. Are you reading anything right now? Absolutely not. I don't have time to read. And I know that's a thing.
Starting point is 01:00:10 And she goes up and down. I know. People are like, what are you reading? You have time. If you have time to sit down with the book, good luck to you. Okay, again, I'm shaking my tits for cash. Let me live.
Starting point is 01:00:20 You sleep on your side, sleep on your back. I sleep on my stomach. Sleep on your stomach. What? Yeah, and I got big tits, so it's kind of hard, but I'm like this, like kind of on my side, kind of on my stomach. Really? Whoa, I don't look, I have never met anybody
Starting point is 01:00:30 that's up on my stomach before. You do a sleep mask or your plugs or anything? No sleep masks, no ear plugs, but I run hot. So I have this thing. So embarrassing. This thing called the chili sleep pad, and it connects to what kind of looks like a humidifier. So it runs cool like air. Yeah, it runs cool air underneath me I did IVF two years ago and after that my hormones were all fucked up and then I just like I
Starting point is 01:00:54 I'm sweating through this right now. I'm like cat Williams when you see me come off stage. I'm like cat Williams dabbing yourself. Yeah, and I'm in the same like Pimpsuit You're sleeping on to that thing. Yeah, like this, kind of like this. A little on the side, a little on the tummy. Whoa, man. Sleep at your socks on? No, absolutely not.
Starting point is 01:01:14 She runs hot. That's the first thing that goes. What are you nuts? Gotcha. But I will tell you, if you have trouble sleeping, put a little magnesium cream because it's the best way for your body to absorb it. On your feet, put some socks on,
Starting point is 01:01:26 and you will sleep better if you have socks on. It's a scientific fact. So when I'm really exhausted, I'll do a little magnesium spray on the feet, the socks, and then have with you the night I kick them off. Yeah. Calculated ladies. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:38 Very calculated. Who's doing the hair? Who's cutting the hair? Oh, shout out to Boelbrett. I knew it was gonna get a shout out. My girl Brett, she is out of Augusta, Georgia. So I got a hair team that comes from Augusta, Georgia and they come to my hair and it land in my kitchen.
Starting point is 01:01:53 So I'm real classic. They come to you. They come to me. Yeah. Oh, they do it all. That's all right. They do miss Atlanta, miss Savannah. They do.
Starting point is 01:02:01 They need a real housewives of Atlanta. So. Do they? Yeah, absolutely. They do. Yeah. Come on in.wives of Atlanta. So. Do they? Yeah, absolutely they do. Woo! Yeah. Come on down. You ever gonna end up on that show?
Starting point is 01:02:10 You'd be good. No, I won't. They haven't had a white girl on there in a minute. But no, I don't want to do reality. I got asked to do the real housewives of New York and I was like living in Atlanta and I'm like, I don't even live in New York anymore. But no, as soon as you do reality show, you either get divorced or you get audited by the IRS and usually they go to jail. Yeah. Do you like orangeina? No, I like fanta though. Okay, you booze. You like a drink? Oh, I love a drink. What are you drinking?
Starting point is 01:02:38 Okay, what don't I drink? My favorite drink right now is really gonna make me sound classy as a show pan, which is a potato-based vodka. Showpan, slightly dirty martini, blue-cheese stuffed olives. I can also do just a tequila on the rocks. I can do an old-fashioned. I can drink a Miller High Life. I drink everything. So basically you're the coolest person we've ever met. Yeah. I read that as basically you're an alcohol.
Starting point is 01:02:58 Yeah. Also alcohol. Have you had a mint julep? I love a mint julep. Yes. The Kentucky Derby is phenomenal. I love Kentucky. Shout out to Kentucky. You like your races? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:09 I've never been to the races, but yes, I do love the races. Okay. Yeah, I bet on the races. I mean, I'm, I think we, I have enough to render a decision. Yeah, I mean, I think she's a high, I think I'm in love with her. She's the class, she's with her. You're the class. You are my type. You look similar to my husband and my father.
Starting point is 01:03:29 So I'm a little hot and bothered over here. Man, yeah. It's blue to see food down. I mean, holy cow. Yeah, I mean, I'm saying 100% class. Thank you. That's great. There was a little bit dirt under the fingernails early on.
Starting point is 01:03:45 I thought we had her, I thought we had her dead the right. Yeah. And then it just systematically. Parents back. Parents rags a rich story. Nice love story. Yeah. She's tight with the mom.
Starting point is 01:03:57 She's got fucking Europe, Perks and K-Cos. 7,000 square foot house. I thought Hilton Head was going to be classy. And then you hit us with Turks and Geicos, and you're flying down there. Not to mention fucking grandpa Jack. Hero that he is. He's not being heroized.
Starting point is 01:04:14 He hats off to him. St. Lives. Yeah. The Mayo, the Butter, the water pig. Maldon, salt on top. Salt water pool. Salt water pool. For the Exama. For their Exama. It's Salt water pool. Salt water pool. For the exa, for their exa,
Starting point is 01:04:27 it's a prescription pool. It is. Yeah. The fucking Sonic ice machine. That I mean, that's a, that's a, it'll believe dream. That's what that is. Good ice of the crib.
Starting point is 01:04:38 Good ice of the crib. Good ice of the crib. Good ice of the crib. Yeah. Having a man. Yeah. 100% class, but. Thank you. I really appreciate it. But just so you know, I'm very approachable.. Yeah, having a man, 100% class, but- Thank you, I really appreciate it.
Starting point is 01:04:46 But just so you know, I'm very approachable. You know what I mean? So, I'll still slap the shit out of you. I'll slap the shit out of you, but I'll be wearing old Navy when I do it. So, everybody relax. I can't serve the cookouts drive through. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:56 What's the luggage, by the way? What do you use a luggage, why? A way, sensible. I like it. Okay, a way luggage. A way luggage can take a beating. Anybody who carries around Louis Vuitton luggage or anything like that is asking for their shit to get rifle through.
Starting point is 01:05:10 And again, my parents worked for the airlines and they were like, have the shittiest luggage. And away is great. I love them. But like, don't have to- Yeah, don't be flashy. Don't be flashy with your luggage. You're gonna get your shit stolen. Are you stupid?
Starting point is 01:05:20 They go through the bank? She's smart, T-bone. She's smart. Smart. Yeah. Gang, the special is out on smart, T-bone. She's smart. Smart. Yeah. Gang, the special is out on Netflix right now that you have to check out the sun. I never had the very funny on tour right now. Heather McMahon, everybody. Hey, thanks for having me. This has been a real pleasure. Thank you. Unbelievable. Congrats on everything. Thank you. Anything else you want the folks out there to know? Do you want to hit them? I mean, just get your tickets at Heather on tour.com. I love you. I can't wait to see the comments on tour.com. I love you.
Starting point is 01:05:45 I can't wait to see the comments on this. People are going to be like, this is a rich bitch, but I'm going to tell you, if you come to my show, you'll have a good time. It's approachable for everybody. Love to hear it. And if you're a single man, I have a lot of women in my audience. So I always say, if you're single, yeah, if you're looking to get laid, come to a Heather McMahon show.
Starting point is 01:06:01 That's the smartest plug that has ever happened on the show. I'm telling you, it is a safe space for guys and I will often call guys out and I want everybody to have a good time. I love to bring a love connection. So come to the shows and you'll get laid. You're welcome. Kippy, what do you got for them? Guys, we're all over the road. Show us your cell and I'll just add a four-show in Chicago. Get tickets to that. It's a good time.
Starting point is 01:06:29 Everything's available at rgarbage.com. Gang, we love you, and we'll see you next week. Peace.

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