Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Hoagie Crusher w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: July 10, 2025

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode talking about Hoagiefest, water ice and of course answering your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Lucy Goods: http://lucy.co/garbage Promo Code: garbage Factor: Get started at https://factormeals.com/garbage50off and use code garbage50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Attention, dirtbags of America! The boys are coming to your town this fall to find out who is the most garbage in said town. Yes, Atlantic City, San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Brea, Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts, Atlanta, Georgia, Charlotte, Raleigh, Richmond, Baltimore, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Rochester, Toronto. Tickets available areugarbage.com. We will find you. Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians

are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage? Hey, it's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good to be classy Just a big old piece of trash garbage. I'm your host. They surely coming at you on a beautiful summer day We're out back here at Tooties and in new edition. She said her hair on fire this morning. Okay, curling iron got her. Sure stinks upstairs. Smells like a laser hair removal factory up there. Factory. I got factories in

them now. Myco is coming at you from across the tables. We call family episode. Just the boys, the bozos and the homies just the way we like it. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is international businessman and always the king of the burbs baby. Give it up for the father of theU Garbage. He is international businessman and always the king of the burbs, baby. Give it up for the father of the year. KJ, Kevin James Ryan. It's the summer.

So I'm currently king of the burb, king of the boards as well, but I haven't been down to shore. Hoagie Fest. We're in the middle of Hoagie Fest. Shout out to Wauwede. We're a lot loaded and in the middle of Hoagie Fest. Me and a big man were in a Wauwede today. Yes, sir.

Together, no sizzlies were purchased. No sizzlies were purchased. And we did not buy tickets to Hoagie Fest. We're not a big man. We're in a the city of the phantrix. Probably. smoking a refrit. Uh was very instrumental in Woodstock in Hoagie. Really? Yes. Wow. She used to work for the city and made the uh and she the one that decided to put oregano on the Italians. I can

put holy water on them. They're bags. I like the turkey. She was working for the city at the time. Uh huh. She's like a turkey she was working for the city at the time Uh-huh, she's like a representative or something like that cop troller now. What's a cop troller? Do I get accountant? It's like is it yeah? I think so huh something you need by the way You don't want to go big man. Shout out JB. There's no vacation. Everything fell apart Safeguard the city's financial health Over there, it's just pop by the corner office look at you I want that on my desk by five o'clock little eager beaver over there huh look at you always schmoozing to the boss aren't you I got it right here mr. Ryan you asked

look at him there he is he did that for you! You did that for me? Ah, you're a sweetheart. Also... Lunch today, you and me, huh? Let's go! Hoagiefest! Get our hands on some of them hoagies. I feel like McConaughey and DiCaprio.

Bum bum bum bum. They're jerking off together. Gotta get those numbers up. Also, a lot of people, as you know, Luke... Oh my god nervous He's fucking it. He'd try to hit me. This guy's a mess Diesel let me get some paper towels in here big man's all thumbs today People and a martini. There's a picture of Luke and

JFK and people think that's Luke's grandfather. They making the assumption. That's Luke, time traveler. That's his looper. Come back to get him. Those roots run deep. He's got a bunch of gold taped to his back. Looper, underrated film by the way. Get out of here. What? Oh my god. Diesel with the goddamn paper towels. Did he leave? What the hell? Hello? He's in the bathroom. What the hell? Taking a douche. Grab something Lucas. Thank you buddy. We'll come back in a sec once Hell hello Grab something Lucas. Thank you, buddy. We'll come back in a sec once. Yeah You're pooping with the door open this dude. Oh, I mean I Gotta I mean, thank thank you Luke I appreciate that I

Mean my for everybody out there Ryan diesel was in there He did so well we're in here working. He's in there crapping with the door open my god. Who are you my uncle Ronnie? crazy What the hell My team stinks dude Talking about what Jennifer Hudson your team How would you think about when you think of team yeah, I think Jennifer somebody like Jennifer out so would have like a team Uh-huh you know I mean sure or like Kelly Clarkson as like a team any other day times from Meredith Viera has a team I'm sure Meredith Viera probably has a nice team. You know PR hair makeup all that stuff

I got dear teams that I put the door open Or spilling her drinks made broadcast. I'll tell you that I knocked over a club soda That she didn't ask permission to have by the way. What are you talking about club soda fest? You didn't ask for take I'll give you club soda fest Back to your aunt blowing the cheese Johnny Wawa you're gonna tell her you said that she is not my uncle's listen to this she had a comptroller no more I'll do nothing to me be surprised um she uh and they suggested it was something for like she suggested it for like a week like a one-off of like a coalition with the city and Wawa being a Wawa such a provider you know whatever

and they they were down with it for the kids and now they do it every year big man. Hoagie Fess is big. Yeah, they started doing it when they brought back Woodstock in the 90s Yeah, it was for some big I think it was with the with the with the race the wall the the bike race I hated that thing. I was maybe tired. Just looking at it. It's a big race in Manny Yonk a big fucking hill I gotta ride up I can't even walk around down there, but I hate to break it. You can't walk around a lot of places Fran man tough down for me Anyway what I heard you got somebody everybody's got some filly thing like that sounds like you're jealous that I have one That's all I'm saying my cousin was the one so that's you know that deserved more that that's the you're jealous that I have one that's all I'm saying my cousin was also that's you know that deserved more that That's the you're jealous. Why there's something that she maybe started shooting start hoagie fat. Let me call her no

That's a little quick. It's a little little you know you're my buddy. I thought you'd be a little more Oh, no way got to give me a little more than that She came up with the shorty or something like that. I'd give you that you've ever ordered shorty. I hear a big shorty man. Yeah, while you were waiting for your classic to be made And let me get a shorty now and I as you're walking through the chip Be honest as we're talking while What I had died the wah-wah egg bites today you did yeah, so that was your second time I was my second time a while. You didn't tell me that as a while watch always today That's my second time in a while watch. Oh, you think I stopped before I got on the road. Let's pick you up

Picking you up Saw the new whip though. I saw the new wet you met the baby. I met the game you met your boss I met the kid yeah, met the kid. You met your boss. I met the kid. Yeah. Amelie is in front of Loon. Oh, Bridgeloon. I can turn around and tap on him. I'm diaper looking for cash. Where's your dad keeping it? I was down here at Patty's.

Uh huh. So I've heard. She texted me. Man, that whole operation is just falling apart. What would you say your operation is going on? Bad. I love how you say your operation's going on? Bad. Bad. You're talking about your elderly mom, your widowed mom who's holding together.

She stole money with the stains, though. I had her throw this in the other car heart in a wash, fucking knock two olive oil stains out. Two seconds. I don't think she pre-washed it. Olive oil? Olive oil. What are you doing with it?

Gets all money. It's in every one of your shirts. It's in dressings and sauces and stuff. No, it's sauces,ashed olive oil olive. We don't get so many in every one of your shirts It's in you know dressings and sauces and stuff. No sauce is not olive oil. You can't say that's olive oil It's an oil stain. It's it's a buffalo sauce today that your pet Man, I give you enough rope to hang yourself. I'll be a lot of road red wine vinegar right now wine vinegar right there. Yeah, okay. A couple of bad creatine stains on my shirt. I got some honey in my shirt. Honey barbecue. That's what a stain is. It's the oil in whatever sauce. Okay, but if you... No one's ever gone, I got... It might be canola oil or peanut oil. I don't know what they use. Seed oil. But it's not a seed oil.

That's no good. No. Cotton seed oil, use that in engines. If there's ever been an H Foley Foleyville spin zone, it's been going. She's got some extra virgin olive oil stained. The good stuff out of my shirt. Of course. Meanwhile, it's sauce stains. It's sauce stains. Okay, it's not olive oil stains. It is an olive oil stain.

You don't know that. It's oil stains. It is an olive oil stain. You don't know that it's a sauce You think it's an oil stain when you were ordering the food You didn't say I'll take a side of olive oil you said I'll take a side a wrench a juicy blue cheese Blue cheese hitter is Okay, and shout out to from the boot down there in Philly. Sure. We've I mentioned my my brother likes it. They make a blue cheese dressing. Fucking blow your hair back. Delicious. Speaking of which is what I have to show you. Speaking of Patty, that

whole operation is fine. I don't dude I don't trust. I don't trust nothing in that kitchen. I'm telling you that right now. Listen, I love you. But I don't trust nothing in that kitchen. I'm telling you that right now. Listen, I'd love you, but I don't trust nothing I gotta say Denise has ants right now. That's how that's how bad it's gotten ants. He's got ants who has ants I'd rather have roaches than ants. That's why ants are organized Roaches fucking ants have squatters rights 20 days. That's their place Think roaches are surviving atomic warfare without a little teamwork. No, they don't know what's good. They're all working on their own They're independent contract. No, I've never seen roaches in a line the way ants do marching down with a picnic basket on a good neighborhood

Anyway, I'm down there have a little business See a couple of people down here So I call her up, you know, so I'm coming through, you know, what's the you know, what's the grub situation? We're not going out. It's the olive oil situation. Yes. What's the grub situation? We're not going out no more Normally, I take her from the boot. We do fucking stuffed mushrooms. We do the roasted chicken wings. And the sauces. Which are the... You really shove roasted in there to healthify it.

I don't know if you know you, that's a big olive oil steam. We're roasted. We did the roasted garlic. Anti-microbial. Moisture wiccan. Anyway, we're not doing that this summer we're fucking you were tightening up the belt a little bit I'm I can't be fucking taking everybody out to dinner and all that shit

sure all right you're broke what just it's not a good folks out there you got a bit of a broke get a bit of a spending problem not so much a saver. A big spender. Anyway, it's not either there. Plus, you know, I mean, you're telling me. Home cooked meal is nice. Dude, you just said you can't get wings in from the boot. No one thinks I can't be afforded. No roasted nine roasted wings from from the boot and ambler. I'm not made of money. It's two meals too. Give you a lot.

Um, so I'm like, what do you got? What do you got in the hopper? Usually it's bupkis. It's nothing. It's fucking like a like a quarter, a quarter pound of chicken salad from McCaffrey's, which is delicious. But still, that's not a meal. Right. And some protein bread. So she's got those old broads love like an infused bread. I love it. They love a fucking they love put some oats in there Put some reinforced cows got more shit in there for the dog than fucking she does for me

I saw this bolded dog don't live there dude, and you're 50 fair enough. What do you mean? Yeah, the dog lives there. You should saw this thing She rolled out for the dog just one It was like an acai bowl. Fucking chopped up chicken, blueberries, some kibble, some bacon, frozen blueberries. What delicious. Get a bowl for the kid. She does have a Tupperware of cooked bacon. Not anymore.

You ever just have cooked bacon in there? Nice. Yeah, I told you I went to a bar out in a story at one time classy joint just said put out bacon and they had bay It was like a cocktail bar and they had like a dad like a cocktail glat like a rocks glass With like nice not that shit bacon we would make I'm thought like thick cut good and just drives just sitting there You sure it wasn't for? Like Bloody Marys and stuff. Well if it was Put that on my tab.

Anyway, I'm like, what do you got in a hopper? Now, I'm about 18 minutes away, according to the GPS. She's like, I got some meatballs from Corpoli's. Shout out to them. Delicious. Okay. And some cutties. She got a couple of cutties that are leftover. Maybe like eight cut cutties. She got a couple of cutties that are left over. Maybe like eight cutties. Little ones. Couple of days still. They're a little chewy. Um I'm like throw that **** on.

They're a bit of a **** You know that right? You are. You will complain about anything. I'm like about looking a gift towards in the mouth. I ain't eating all day. I got this god damn Zip Bound. I can't eat nothing. I'm taking your

mother out to dinner. You're going, what do you got for me? I'm not taking her out to dinner. She's had enough dinners So view I'm aware of that. That's what I'm trying to keep it tight. That's something at the house She made a salad didn't touch that through that out Dog treated him up for his outside Straight up dumb dumb motherfucker didn't see it coming. I can slice bananas for a dog. What are we doing here? Anyway, she's got a couple of cutties. Okay hold

She don't she's I don't want to heat them up a little dry out. You're fucking lazy We're talking about heat them up put a little water to all of all in the pain. You'd be alright And some meatballs what kind of meatballs there are corporal ease okay great Meatballs what kind of meatballs there are corporal ease okay great Corporal ease Norton Fantastic they do catering they do every so we get a tomato pie from you don't you don't know you're not on that side of The on that side of the world you never had to corporal ease tomato pie Probably get it from like fucking Jenkins town or something like we were saying to cheese family Oh from down the city. He's two cheese

It's pretty good. My brother went to school to seem to cheese if you never had a tomato pie Let me tell you something do yourself a favor. It's really really good. I Would take that over the cheesesteak as the moniker cuisine or food item of Philly What do you mean you would take I? Would plant that flag before I plant the cheesesteak. I don't understand. Will you plant the flag? You like it better than a cheesesteak No, I'm not saying that. What are you saying? I'm saying if That was more of a representative of Philly food I would be okay with it. Just see the burbs. I'm a burbs man

Okay Like if you were down there on like December 13th. Ah, I'd be down there on December 13th doing a nice show over there at the Metropolitan Theater. The Met! Boys are coming home. It's a big one. Boys come home!

It's a big one. Grab your tics. I don't want you left out in the cold. It's gonna be a bad winter, too. Patty told me that. Um, anyway, this is the uh... The Bureau of Crazy has spoken. This is the tray she hit me with with the meatballs. I'm not sure. Patty told me the pick? What the hell? There you go. A little piece of carrot. She working at the hospital or something? That's exactly what I wild a compartmentalized Tupperware. I don't trust.

Yeah. Yeah. What? How? What? Can I ask the breakdown of they were all that it was all filled with meatballs. They were all all three of whom were meatballs Which I don't why? That don't make no why would they separate? I don't know She did listen. I don't know was there ants in there. If not, she's doing better than the piece it bugged me out Oh fuck. I was down there and I forgot the bottle of DP. Oh You gotta really I gotta remind you gotta remind I forgot the leg things for my mom, too

She's freaking like things you know those leg things that blow up You slag sleeves for circular athletes or people who are dying Yes, you had him for my dad, and then she gave them to me. I don't use them She's something about her knee or something like that. She wants him and I keep forgetting to bring them down Okay, and a t-shirt for her physical therapist Maybe I do one of the new yeah You're giving away you're giving away merch to your mom's physical therapist my mother is broads got cash

I have her buy one meanwhile. I'm fucking He's not paid by she patties on the arm. What are you talking about fucking making her pay for nothing? I mean this family get they get their hands and you're like dicks I'm about to fucking put on a flea collar. Keep you off of me. It's funny. She did remind me this morning over a cup of coffee and a couple of heaters her way. Um, out of nowhere, she's like, so do I still own 20% of RU garbage?

I'm like, who the fuck said that? You probably sold it to her one night drunk for a heater. Hey, give me kills on that. I'll give you I'll give you 40% of my share. That's 20% of the whole thing I said if something happens to me, I'm sure kibbe would do right now telling people that do right buyer They gotta have this I have all these dirt bags knocking at my door. Meanwhile lizard, you know You're all fucking leg machines at the moment. That ain't great. I'm not like machines. I don't use them You should I will start using them. I haven't had that in a while my ankles don't

swell up any stop telling people I'm gonna take care of you there's documents set up for this yeah then that's not the thing I can take care of Patty maybe take care of her I'll see you in hell man this is dude this is shaping up just to be like the biggest fucking Judge Judy fight ever. I go down as one of Judge Meevers, your whole family. They're all there with stacks of papers. Kemp, let's talk about Lucy. Shout out to Lucy, Lucy, Lucy. You know Lucy, good friend that he showed at Lucy, but with us for a long time, we're talking about 100% pure nicotine, always tobacco free. Lucy breakers or nicotine pouches with a little extra surprise each pouch holds a

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But look at that fucking bootleg merch is that crazy? Um, that's the kind of shit I'm talking I'm gonna sound like an asshole you do but that's the kind of shit I'm talking was there any was there any pasta involved? No, I would get down with pasta in one, maybe the other. I'd get down if there was something to compartmentalize. It's just an odd choice. You're telling me she didn't have a Cool Whip container or nothing over there?

I know. And not knocking it, but a real Meals on Wheels kind of vibe. I didn't like it. The meatballs were fantastic, though. See, she heated them up on the stove instead of the microwave which I Appreciate that effort. She's starting to get back into the groove a little bit. I feel You know what I mean?

Listen Patty bless your soul. I think I sound like an asshole now, but that shits important What is that she's not fucking you know eating at gas stations every night or order and fucking? Boston market that she's cooking and making nutritious meals. Eating gas stations? That's what she does. What? She gets like mac and cheese from like a gas station and brings it back to the house. Why?

She's doing lobster rolls in like the parking lot of a mall. Oh yeah, I remember we called her doing that. Yeah, she's cooking again a little bit, which is good. And you're breaking her stones. I mean, come on, man. A compartmentalized fucking Tupperware, that's the beginning of the end. Sure. It's the beginning of the end. What's that? All meat, you don't trust that?

I gotta be honest with you. Three things and meatballs? That fork and that spoon don't match either. No. They don't. That fork is that spoon don't match either No, they don't that fork is that fork is from a Cafeteria that is a that is a Cafeteria fork and that spoons got detail that the fork don't have okay I'm gonna call like I got two sets a nice countertop nice granite countertop. That's the okay. Yeah nice

cluttered Yeah, there's a bag. Yeah bad. I say that canvas tote. What's in there? I don't know what that is right in front of that carrot either. It's trash looks like Looks like a popsicle wrapper if I'm being honest with you. No, no, no, I mean look inside the Entree portion of the compartmentalized Tupperware a carrot in there. You don't see a little piece of carrot right there Yeah, we put carrot and sauce. I'm aware of that. But what's that right in front of You don't see a little piece of carrot right there? Yeah, you put carrot in sauce. I'm aware of that, but what's that right in front of it? Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker.

Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker.

Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker.

Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker.

Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz cracker. Looks like a piece of a Ritz crack guys. She's eating at gas stations. Bad. Anyway, it's either here or there. I wanted to point that out. Patty, I love you. But, you know, come on. Does Patty listen to the program? Sometimes. Really? Yeah.

Big Gerbys fan. She loves Gerbys. There's a guest on she likes. Loves Gerbys. My mom wouldn't know. He's so funny and adorable. Wouldn't know where to find the program. Really? I don't think she would have. Cashing up checks though, huh?

The slightest clue. Really? I mean I mean at one point I remember when we were we me and you were on Larry the cable guy serious XM show she told me hey why listen to the podcast today I was like I was like the one with again Louis J go there like whoever they get like we you're Louis fan she's like no one serious XM I sat in a cuz she's not in a car in the in the parking lot listen I think that was Larry. Oh, thanks for listening. I just said thanks Patty's all over it. She keeps a very close eye on our activities. I don't think my mom's ever been on YouTube. No kidding I mean, she's Patty's got YouTube TV. Whoa. Yeah, she knows all about it discord Yeah, only thing she streams on Twitch She's got YouTube TV. Whoa. Yeah. She knows all about it. Discord.

Nah. Yeah. Only thing. She streams on Twitch. Doing the laundry. Atlas. Probably be pretty, you know, just Patty in her house. Can we make up, wait listen, we have to diversify.

Let's, you want to set Patty up, take care of Patty. Let us just fucking rig the house. Patty cam? She can be like fucking Patty's in it or whatever. Kyson. He's like the biggest streamer. We can do the things where like we you know, you know how like Drusky and Kevin Hart go over and hang.

I could be me and you. He come over and start dancing. Set off a bunch of fireworks. Got a bunch of rappers in there or whatever. Fucking smoking, rolling blunts and shit. I'm gonna get slapped. I tell you what man, that's a pretty good trio. Kevin Hartruski. And Kysonette. They're alright. Man, when they walked in, they walked in, I was like, guys, it's just pure fun, those guys. When they crash the stream and they come in they start dancing all I want to They move up the line and do a move. Why can't you do that? It's a fucking name. They hear something

this thank you leg I Got a bad case of it on you if you want back it up and dump it That's neither here nor there that's all here in there Let's talk about a little family episode gang as you know when you when you sign up for the old patreon Which is cooking by the way goddamn all time. I'm wrong listen. We are closing in on Ready to make a fucking move What I don't know we got numbers Yeah, I mean the boys are at the fucking number boys got an army behind them and shout out to the homies and the fucking boots

On the ground the shareholders. Oh, we love you also can't lie shout out to the bozos we love you just as much not just as we love you love everybody love y'all I got real lives and we love you yes um also merch available now while limited supply might be out by the time this comes out next week but get your merch while supplies. Big boys are loving those that Uncle Hank's hot dog shirts. Yeah, that's pretty funny. So we have a kid. You know, I have my king of the Boar, king of the Burbs home improvement.

Foley's got his hot dog, Hanks hot dogs, right? Mm hmm. Uncle Hanks, hot dog, Uncle Hanks, hot dogs. And the uncle Hanks hot dog sells sold out of 4x pretty quick the big boys The big boys got a role model that they like out up to the big boys I can't be king of the burbs hasn't sold any 4x just yeah, we're tight little tight little bodies over here kids down 30 I don't know it's a big boy summer dog. Mm-hmm Big boy summer. Yeah, I have a t-shirt toward the pool. I was saying I might do cut just cut off sleeves It's hot that he waved the head let two weeks ago

You don't cut the arms for that Your arms are too normal Let me say that mine are fat enough and gross enough where I could do sleep in anything You can spin anything you know you understand I'm saying your ego can spin anything to feel good about yourself. Let me see Get that mole look that first Where you do anything? I got a couple you got a hair grown out of that one damn Nana. That's gross Buddy you have skin tags on your eyeballs. I know so who are you calling gross? I'm about to get them whack like I've flipped them over and check out how to wash you on that thing

Skin tag pretty good. All right,, let's quit screwing around here. I'm going to Dr. Chocoldi and getting these taken off though. Okay, you're not. Yes I am. No you're not. Yes I am. I go to him every six months. I like the dermatologist. Those things have been on you for more than six months. No they haven't.

Spin the foley though. Cause I cut the other ones off with a tone out clipper. You are. You don't want to hear that did Charles a grody Just watch midnight run still holds up All right, let's get it as you know when you join the old patreon. We will answer your garbage question or near and the phones are This one's from chub rub first time long time This is a this is an abbreviation. Iation, they hit you with the FTLT,

first time, long time, $10 home. They have all of their own vernacular over there on the podcast. This one I've never seen, IIG. IIG. Is it garbage? Ah, that's great. Not bad.

Is it garbage? Five years, the homies are still innovating. IIG. IIG, is it garbage if your aunt asks if it's cool to leave her car parked in your driveway while she serves a six month bid? Damn, man. You gotta have a safe place to park the car though.

That should come with, you can use it while I'm out. I'm sure. That comes with, you know, keep, you know, just, you know, make sure the oil's changed, keep the time, rotate the, you know, keep it, turn make sure the oil change keep the time rotate that you know keep it Turn it on But that would be I think that's not a Lexus Could be it could be like

White collar I'm sure she could be fucking moving weight. You don't want to be driving it you get pinchers You got a handgun in the back or something you don't know about the ops catcher. Mm-hmm there was a time when a family member of mine would borrow our cars and you know you would take a hard right and a rolling rock bottle would slide out from under the passenger seat and you're like alright well f***ing you know. You gotta keep him on a short leash. Rolling rock bottle and an empty clip. Jesus Christ. Knockin' banks over? Nah, I respect that move. You gotta leave the car with somebody you trust.

Solid dirt bag move. Hey listen, I'm jammed the F up. Help me out here. Also, your aunt's serving a six month piece. Whatever. You back that in too because bills could start falling by the wayside over that six months

And the re the repo man might be but i've seen in videos they pick them. They know it don't They're putting it in the back was prior to like I know but having the license plate sticking in the back I think is better sure i'll give it to you and throw a cover on that that's got a cover on it That should have a cover on it. Sure. It's been right in front of the garage. Have a cover on it. For sure. Covers are really trashy or really classy. I've never seen a nice one. Oh, like a nice car. Yeah. If you're covering a nice car, they keep they don't like bad ones are like they're covered and there's like a pile of leaves and rainwater stains and it's ripped and like the antenna is sticking through. Nice ones are like they just have on like a Porsche

They just make me think of above-ground pool covers, which are never ever ever look good. They never look good Ours always fucking comes apart in the middle of the winter. You see that cold dark water What that's it told plant? I ain't messing with that in February. I'll tell you that much. That's an April job I'll deal with the dad bulls later. Go near that thing. Yeah. I think Patty had a frog in the house the other night, too. I saw a frog jumping across the street.

Not to frogs are back. You said that we were low on frogs, but I was out in the burbs. I was right. I was out in the burbs. I even said it. I said it out loud to Nadine. It was we're out in the burbs.

It was after a fucking storm that heat that had bad heat two weeks ago, whatever. And then that broke and it rained. I walked outside a couple of them. Nice summer night. And I went, this is frog is a froggy. If they're going to come out, they're coming. Everything is wet and dewy. It's cold. They're coming out to soak up some soak up some suds.

I don't know what it is. Frogs are back. They like the moisture in their skin. Amphibians, amphibians. Scary. Thanks. Um... Are they cold blooded? Amphibians are cold blooded? Yeah, I don't know. What's the Dempsey Group say about that? Your trash is our trust fund. I mean, the amount of money we spent on his corner seems crazy. Frogs are indeed cold blooded. Cold blooded. Which which what does that exactly mean? They don't heat up have you ever met my grandfather? He was a cold man Cold cold man

Have you ever met patty for me? Patty's a bitch cold-blooded. No she's a sweetheart They cannot produce much internal heat and cannot maintain a constant body temperature and that weird you think they would have died off That's crazy. I Mean, there's crazier stuff to me than frogs are cold-blooded No Life walking around with a goddamn fucking chill on all day

I was walking around with a goddamn fucking chill on all day living on the edge. It's a car for some Do you ever see when they put people putting people putting mayonnaise on breakfast sandwiches? No, you don't think that's weird. What people put mayonnaise on breakfast sandwiches. I like it. No You hoagie fest Hank no way I got a little item over there at That while I want to bring it up again, but they have the sizzly talk about keeping it tight over here They're the sizzly the sizzly club Bacon lettuce tomato mayo with the egg in the cheese and a little bit of ham underneath. How's that? All right your world

Frog boy Have you ever had frog frog legs I used to have frogs as pets many a times sure Have I ever had frog legs frog legs now? of times sure have I ever had frog legs frog legs now he's a servant of blue bell in it snails once as car got not a fan you're a snapping turtle soup it's pretty good we found remember my uncle found one in a sea aisle I don't trust those reigns heavy and this thing came out this thing he looked he looked like Jurassic Park big old mouth on him. No, I'm shooting for a sellout.

My uncle had it like he was fucking- I hate when that's crazy. Steve Irwin. I gotta go release it in the bay. He'll probably fucking swim in a bay, Jerko. I come take my Peter off. Fucking release it in the bay. Throw it in the fucking dumpster. Get out of here. Put it in the sewer or something. Take him out to the pine bar. I remember becoming aware of those as a kid being like what No saw one for the first time they got they sit there with their mouth open waiting for your fucking tootsies to come floating

That snakes who serpents lurk no, thank you Used to go to bin as kids. I can run the serpent waters Not too deep not too shallow. That's where they get you yeah perfect. You hit a patch of cold water Hopefully my pee-pee is keeping them away Man, they come at you dancing on the water head out and stuff like them goddamn monitor Liz. Don't get me started on the monitors All right Kippy true diagnostics buddy. I'm talking good stuff gang A lot of us have not been living the best whoa me included time to start taking better care of yourself

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Plus enjoy zero dollar delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees exclusions and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. This one's from Young No, $10 homie, never have one read. Have you ever worn a Hooters t-shirt in your family's Christmas card? Tough picture. What?

There I am, 15 years old, in my oversized jorts and Hooters University t-shirt. Hooters University. At least he's your goddamn scholar wishing everybody we know a Merry Christmas. We missed that. My dad never, it's funny, talking to people, a lot of dudes say that that was like a rite of passage, like their dad or their uncle taking them to Hooters for like lunch. We went once as like kind of a bit with my brother's soccer team

It was like we had like 50 kid or whatever there. I remember that was like all the dads it was like between it was like a Fuck it would not fly Memorial Day. I mean none of the moms went it was like four dads couple more working there Cheryl The friends and family and I remember my dad even me like this ain't. Why will go, but this is like not our guys used to close an ass. There's also a we were more of like, let's go to the corner bar and hit on the weight, hit on the bartender.

Sure. I mean, she keeps wings are cheaper. She keep me even fucking wild cherry Cokes and chicken chicken fingers. Why my dad, you know, sat there with a couple of mycaloons. Who's your buddy? Who's your bald friend here? my boy from the Navy Don't talk much boy little bit of a shell shock agent orange Snap a turtle took his pee pee right up. He looks young but It's that but turtle took his pee pee right up

He looks young but old Greasers that good for you at ether will get to you Working in the engine room long days long hours I'm over there playing erotic photo hunt. Which me and Skinny Vinny and Vinny with the Skinny and Pat used to play for way too long at the Holland Pub. Way too old of an age. Over there fucking choking out some ta-ta's. You like that?

You like that? Creep. Watching anime porn, you freak. Man, shout out to just a good old fashioned small town. Public House. Ain't nothing wrong with it. Stack of quarters on the stack of quarters on the pool table. We have not had a good drunk in a long time. I've been off to have two beers last night at dinner.

Which I got to tell you you I had fucking I'm just I'm a dirtbag. I go out to dinner right first night First night out with the broad My in-laws are in town, baby sleeping We've been in this shit They go why don't you guys go get a quick bite out? You know what I mean? Meanwhile, we're fucking I'm dragging myself across. I'm tired of shit. We sit down at the bar, nice joint. My wife gets.

My wife gets a fucking mocktail. She does get a peach. My play had a nice bar program. Peach with cinnamon on it. Nice mocktail. She likes those expensive muck. That wifey yours I know he's like 16 bucks a clip free juices Friends like do first of all fucking get it's all like

Put a little fucking vodka in there something it's they do all the mix in these people right they mix it up to half a half A pear juice half a simple syrup half a fucking maracas shit And then they dump it in the rocks glass and it fills up half the rocks glass. Then they hit that with with tonic. I go, yeah, paying for mostly tonic here. But my baby wants my baby gets. So to offset that price, I'm doing Ying Ling bottles. Wholesale.

They were two fifty each. Were they? I think so. Two. Wow. Sounds like a real nice town you live in. Nice jank. 250. What the fuck? Local brewery. VW? I don't know what they were. VW? What are you a Volkswagen bug? You have the Elks? Shout out to the Elks. Big fan. I want wanna be a member. I guess my... Guy like you? No.

What do you mean? One down the shore is apparently really nice. Oh, well, fuck it, we're members. Oh, you are? Yeah. That's what it's all about. What are you bitching about? I wanna be a member there. My stepdad died, he can't sign for me anymore. Ah.

B. Kells, shut up, B. Kells, he's a fan and a homie. Connor's brother, he got in. I know a guy- My Uncle Mike's in. I gotta get in there. I know a guy that can get us in the Elks. I can, I mean, I can. fan and a homie. Connor's brother, he got in. I know my uncle Mike's in. I gotta get in there. I know a guy that can get us in the Elks. I can, I mean I can. Get us in the one down in, was it Margate?

No, I'm sorry, Brigantine. Brigantine? That's fairly really nice. Are you even, yeah who, Brigantine? That's for Hoytie, we're all North Wildwood. Is there one in North Wildwood? That's like the biggest ones in North Wildwood. He's dumped a bunch of money in there.

Relax. Bring, get me to go money in there. Alright, relax. Bring me to go to Margate. Whatever. Not whatever. This is a hoagie fest all over again. Looking for the cheap beers. Um... What was I saying?

I ordered... Something stupid. I'm just a dirtbag. My wife orders the fucking filet mignon. Real? Real nice. Real nice. On a Tuesday, huh?

Yeah. Look at that. First night out in 35 nights or something like that Oh, what do you mean still she earned it? Hey? She's the only reason where our fat asses are sitting here. That's a skirt steak night as far as I'm concerned We haven't been out in a long time. We've been eating churri. We've been eating fucking I mean her dad's cooking, but uh, you know, just been fucking and we're in it. Um, I but you know, just been fuckin' we're in it.

I ordered, I got an appetizer. Cheese steak egg rolls. Cheese steak egg rolls. Man, if I ever wanted to poison you. Put them on a menu. You kidding me? What do you think I got for an entree? Chicken parmesan. Yeah, he did.

It was good though, they did it nice. This place is a little fancy. There were two jumbo chicken, or two jumbo cheesesteak egg rolls cut in half. Cut in half or cut in half? I hate the diagonal cut. I know you do. I like it. It's good for dipping. It's like something that's like with the... Maybe if you slice them diagonal you wouldn't get all that olive oil on your shirt It was a little foo-foo little fancy they sliced them in half straight turned them all Upside down so they were open like you know they were in like a cluster like a pack of batteries You know what I mean wait is the open part sticking up or down open parts up good uh little as you lose some little bit of

some Green garnish that I flicked out of the way stop with that But it was in there was cheese in there obviously cheese date cheese and steak chopped up in there real nice Usually some a rib eye and a Cooper sharp or something like this You know that Cooper sharp, but then they had it's it was sitting like a you know, there's like shallow bowls kind of yeah You know what I mean? Like a plate bowl like a deep plate. Yeah And it was sitting like a cheese sauce not like a not like a cheese a chameleon I Don't know what it was. There's cheese sauce. I'm calling it. Okay, it's the extent you're gonna get from was it lighter

Yes, it's cheese sauce. So it's a bechamel cream sauce Listen you and your for you and your French friends in bring a teen and mortgage and do whatever you want. You know, right? I'm doing a cheese sauce with a 250 yinger. All right, hit me and I tell you a Little bit of high mulch these little bit a little bit of ketchup on there to makes it in make a fancy sauce And then a chicken parmesan to wash that down I only did one one one of I only did one of the one of the chickies take that home took it home Sure, you side of pasta had it for breakfast this morning. Is that true my way to walla

Is it sitting there at the house? I said the. I'm gonna have it tonight when I get home. Hope they throw it out on you. What? You fucking piece of shit. Just a bad person. Hope they throw it out. But they did something. I thought it was gonna be one of those heavy, dark, extra fried cutties, which I love. Sure. Real light, light color, light breading, little bit like a lemon or something in there. I didn't know where to have, I might as well been at fucking Buckingham Palace, I'll tell you that one. What's that, basil? Leaning tower of Pisa.

I get basil and mint mixed up so many times. Oh, I gotta, if I'm buying a lot of times, I know it, but when they're with all the other stuff, I gotta Google. It's all grass. Yeah, it's all weeds. Except for rosemary. That you can snipe. Ugh.

And thyme, I don't mess with that. I like thyme. I don't have it. Um, but yeah, I mean, I just like, as I was- Rosemary's like eating pine needles. As, yeah. Like eating Christmas. As I was ordering it, I mean I just think as I was very like eating pine needles as yeah eating Christmas as I was ordering it I was like man. I'm sitting here at the bar this joint

The Phil's game was on I got a yinger going I Got cheese egg rolls on away What a cheat got one in you what you got it you guys you have a you have a yingling in you Have you finished the first yingling at what point? But when you think a you have a yingling in you Have you finished the first yingling at what point but the way you think I grow you're having this moment The it was when I was ordering it was like am I really gonna is this gonna be my complete order is yingling chicken Parm and cheese steak egg rolls That's all right And that was because there is a moment in a restaurant or a bar where you have that one drink in you and you just ordered

And you're sitting there, and it's like it's perfect. Yeah, it was nice. That usually goes south after like the 15th. Yeah, I don't do that on the phone. And you know what? That ends up. Sure. You're going to have to leave credit cards not going through. What? All right. Let's see here. This one's just pretty bonkers. This is from Wolfie $10 homie.

Never had one read. Are you garbage? If you break, I'm sorry. Are you garbage? If you bake cookie dough in a spoon over a candle because there's a power outage and there's nothing left in the fridge because the paycheck hits tomorrow. By the way, it was surprisingly good. I imagine it would be.

I got to give you that. That's, I imagine it would be. I gotta give you that. That's. I imagine it would be. There's no difference between that and some Foo Foo thing that they sell at William Sonoma to make homemade s'mores. Cause we have one of those. And you know what the heat source is,

it's alcohol, straight rubbing alcohol. You pour alcohol in this little thing and it sets on fire, you make little s'mores. There's nothing different than that. I mean if it's a scented candle I'm sure it's a little different of course yeah I mean there's no power that's a little different storm he said I understand I'm just saying there's for sure different rolling brownouts we talking about but I'll give it to you I think it's ingenuity I think if you're sitting there powers I ain't got much going on

you go can we spruce this up a little bit I respect it yeah. Yeah, I'm with that. That's alright. There you go Thanks, if your power plus you got to give her to that whatever's in that fridge You got it. You got to move quick quick don't open our fridge Uh-huh remember that when the power is out you touch the fridge they freak out on you I never been on my ants and fucking Cial um that being on the phone during a lightning storm. Oh, yeah Fuck being in the tub get you through the window You sharp shooter I

Mean he gets me through the window. God's got it out for me. I fucking I ain't doing no final destination You get lit up in the tub. Yeah fucking it. That's my dad. That's my time, baby punch me out That's my time, baby. Punch me out. Um, dude, I remember we were fucking, I told you we used to have these big luau's. My Aunt Patty and Uncle John have a house in Sea Isle, and it was one of those big old fucking asphalt, like big old houses, relatively dilapidated

towards the end. Then they did the thing where like they obviously bought it for cheap when they could afford when CIO wasn't expensive or nice, really. They bought it, held onto it for, I mean, they had it for 30 years and then sold half of it and built the side by side. You know, they get a free house, a new free house and then someone else buys the one next door But we were have these luau's where I mean no it no central. I mean it was just like when you say luau I'm talking topless bro. Is there is it a Hawaiian theme like other yeah like the cheap lays and all it's we're talking cheap

Lays we're talking like you know torches or whatever. Takey torches. We're talking like you know torches or whatever Tiki torches. We're talking like a no No pull like kiddie pool full of beers. That's pretty cute some like that was the coolest thing We remember the one year we had a fun, dude I mean, yeah, but it was like fucking 102 degrees. I'm sitting there eating a hot chocolate, dude I'm dipping and dipping everything in there And Denise's boys really growing up I'm dipping and dipping everything in there. Um, it's all over your shirt. And Denise's boys really growing up, um, covered in chocolate.

I think he covered, you know, look, he covered in peanut butter, covers his little brother in peanut butter. You probably could have figured that out for the life of you. Where that chocolate was coming from. You're looking at the cord. I remember being under the table going, what in that I?

Swear to God I remember it like as clear as day looking under the table kind of Einstein Rosen bridge Dude it was it looked like to Stanley Cup it was all it was all stainless steel Man after a while start getting too thick crumbs and stuff jam up them holes Get your finger out of there. They're yelling at me But uh They were putting too much so like obviously when you're having a party like that for like a hundred people or whatever It was I have the picture maybe we can drop it I have the picture, maybe we can drop it. I have the picture of me, all of us with the laser

blowing out a cake and you saw it and said, it looks like it looks like it looks like it's meatloaf. It looks like I'm blowing out candles in a meatloaf. But I remember they were, they were putting too much warm stuff in the fridge and it was so hot. I was heating it up. No central air. So hot in the kitchen That's food poisoning city and we all the kids. I end up at Shore Memorial And you end up at Shore Memorial or gym the fuck. I've been there multiple times. Get them back to the city Dude, I'd rather be in a fucking. He's at Shore Memorial. I'd rather be in a fucking he's at shore memory

I'd rather be in a hospital in Bangkok. That's a fucking rough spot over there Some fucking lifeguard slash bartenders head surgeon fuck that Actually wonderful. It's way. That's way well my grandparents lived in Seaville so you know as they got older and got sicker they were in and out of shore. They'd have to go down to Shore Memorial a lot. But if anything happened I remember my brother's appendix burst down to shore. That's crazy. And he ended up at Shore Memorial and I remember my mom going get him to

fuck out of Shore Memorial. Get him to Lincoln Hall. Lincoln Hall. Big hospital. Get him to Lincoln Hall. Always get him them to pan get him at least get him Jefferson at least like that was slumming it. Yeah call. We're like that's one thing That is dirtbag as we are that's a very early nurses everybody. There's so like my mom everybody works in a hospital work fucking Locked in it's a very Philly dirt bag thing of judging hospital systems in Philly. Yeah, status. They'll kill you over here. Get in the chop. I thought that was a salad place. But they were screaming. As the kids, we'd be like so hungry throughout the day, but they're cooking, but they ain't cooking food you can eat. You eat you know what I mean so at noon they're prepping for the party tonight

And I'm looking for a little num num's you know so we'd go like open the Navy close the goddamn for hitting you with Like another man trying to cool it down. Yeah, it's like tuts I need something now. I get two words for you hoagie fest all right I get two words for you hoagie fest all right I remember opening that fridge on just see like the fucking iced tea sweating like it was not not cold enough in there to keep anything Man all right This one's from Nicole $10 homie shout out to the $10 homie is by far like five times the amount of the most popular Level get the hard feelings $10 homie never have one red is it garbage if as a kid This is this this is brought back memories is it garbage if as a kid I had to bring a suitcase to school every Thursday

Oh, my parents got divorced when I was four and for some reason the custody worked out that my dad specifically had me every Thursday night. Starting at five years old I was lugging a suitcase to school. She's getting lots of odd looks from other kindergartners thinking where I was going on a sudden vacation. What the fuck? That's jammed up like a traveling salesman. That's pretty I remember putting clothes I remember not wanting to have to take a bag to school man and

Stuffing clothes. Why don't you just have clothes? More clothes at your dad's place. Yeah, man. That's easier. You know you own two t-shirts, and you're 50 I'm fucking eight years old flopping between two houses Hmm, you didn't have skivvies and shit over there. I did but it's like I don't know what's there I you know, I hadn't been there in a week. I don't know what's clean. He's probably not doing the worst I don't know what fit, you know, I mean, it's also like I'm fluctuating inside. I got damn fucking found chocolate found do fountain A week's like five years to a fat kid. Yeah, so it's like, you know, also it's like I have like those clothes or shit

I don't want to wear that fucking whatever. I want to wear this cool thing you know so I remember lugging clothes back in and in a grocery bag school now school bag Yeah, we always hit it in the school bag in your we used to put Wayne have two school bags Did you know I put it in the one look at real brainiac? Hey guys, just working on my study Yeah, but that that's were you the kid that had the big school bag that was like dragging behind What do you think there I would rather flunk every class then walk around like that Actually, how the fuck are you holding that up?

Kid that had a kind of lean forward so we didn't go all of me. Yeah, we would call him You know he looked like minkus from boy meets world Hit me with a minkus Do you know minkus? Minkus are and minkus for us was watching boy meets world. It was in my 30s my 20s high school It's Fred Savage's kid brother. This is minkus. No minkus was the nerd in school ah I was just kid brother this is minkus now that minkus was the nerd in school ah

Poor little make classic nerd him and then the kid from little Giants hmm, I Remember little Giants you mean the good-looking kid that was in the show he was his boy Sean Hunter Yeah, now. They got a pretty good pod pretty big pod Topanga. No kidding this kid was huge in the 90s Let me see it that kid. Oh, yeah, yeah huge Writing checks yeah, I remember him in Little Giants Him in the ice we went to school with a girl who looked just like the icebox oddly attractive Sure you're in your chocolate fondue tales probably ever been to a luau I got a huge school bag on I'm going to my dad's tonight. I

Had to bring extra clothes. It's the rotor bag Well, I mean luggage to schools tough look I mean You I remember my brother and sister could do because they were athletes for school So they put it in like they had like their soccer but they had their equipment bag of some kind So they I always had always had a change of clothes. All right cool guy Yeah, dude. I'm trying to relate to this fat little bastard Why'd you have a change of clothes you get olive oil stains on it midway through? Shake yourself cuz I had fucking practice. Yeah, that's different. You had to change that day. I get that I'm fucking I'm moving a wardrobe between single-parent homes

break wardrobe between single parents homes. Tough break. Ah, bad times, bad, bad times looking back. You don't know who's picking you up. Dad forgot a couple, two, three times. Sure. Show up a couple of rolling rock bottles, come scootin' out. Hate that.

This one's from Tommy Hagel and Yo, are you guys greasing the hibachi guy? Slip him some cash as he's cleaning up. I've only been to hibachi as I've been older with some money once and I was at a resort. My brother greased the guy. The guy did great. We greased him heavy. I think you got to if they're a showman. Find out the, see if there's like a...

I couldn't tell you. You've never been to hibachi. No. I couldn't tell you you've never been to a botch No, I love a botch ever been we gotta go I've never been a hibachi and I've never been to a folk of day chow where they keep the meat that seems so excessive I mean I like a lot but like too much meat is I get tired and sloppy and sweaty and it ruins the night Why don't you take me to hibachi? Why don't you take your fucking self to hibachi? Alright, shit, I thought it would be a fun time. I guess I will. Go by myself like a fucking asshole. Sit next to some fucking-

Well, I gotta pay you to take me to hibachi. Huh? I don't know, you think it'd be nice? Man, there's this real bad picture of me floating around at hibachi that I saw not that long ago. It's so embarr- I remember taking a- I don't know if I told you, I took a shirt out of my trunk and put it on it was like

I had worn it like weeks before and got a whole lobster in your mouth Can do in the sake bombs It is customary to tip the bachi chef. Of course grease. Oh, he's a performer. He's a performer at the end of the day I'm with that You might know it as Ohmaassay. No probably your family We're a big hibachi family. Yeah, what that went there for every birthday? That was wait. What's so rich kids Sakura? How do you spell that? SAKURA

They got a few of them. I found the one you're looking at They got a few of them. I found the one you're looking at Clancy joint though yeah little clay. I mean that's not the hibachi I Think the Mount Fuji. I was going to in a strip mall. It's just a grill That was like it was kind of like a new money It was like a fun It was what like you rich people would that was like them slum and like oh Let's go be fun and have a man cook for us Have him fired immediately we throw pennies at him that onion volcano will not blows my brain

We can go Be cool. Is there any in the city there is yeah good ones though. They're tight We got to go out to the burbs. Yeah, you got it the burbs have to be do a benihana The original where's that? Benny Honda yeah, they're all over the place you said the original I mean the original can't be all over the place Jesus Christ you cross-examining me. I'm fucking sweating here Jesus Christ you cross-examine me. I'm fucking sweating here Well the original hibachi place not the original Benny, huh? Okay? I don't think that is that I'm sure that's New York

We got one midtown. Yeah Alright this one's a truity roof. That's pretty good $10 boondoggle first time having one one, first time posting one. Is it garbage to be 5'7 but brag about having a six foot wingspan? That's alright. Wingspan is a dirtbag thing to brag about. Yeah, how can you have that? 5'7 with a six foot wingspan. Long arms I guess. Yeah, but not significantly long. I mean they're like any normal.

That's normal? Well, you're supposed to put, it's the same distance. That's not true. That's an old wives tale. No, it's like very, I mean it's like, But this is a very, This is a very, This is a very,

This is a very, This is a very, This is a very, This is a very, This is a very, This is a very, This is a very, This is a very, This is a very, This is a very, Significantly long. I mean, they're like any normal. Well, you're supposed to put it's I you're it's the same distance That's not true. That's an old wives tale. No, it's like very I mean, it's like what this is how tall I am Like almost like yeah, really

hmm So white I am Nothing on that and they also honey. They say your pants around your neck I heard that when I was selling dungarees pants around your neck so like a no not you would have or you'd have a pretty big neck, but you take a pair of pants You tell me your neck and your waist are supposed to be the same size. It's half so like you keep them buttoned Is it supposed to be Drawing you like you pull a pair of pants off his shelf. They're buttoned. You're holding them up Yeah, you do that and it should be it's like about right Wow

Anatomically so like yeah if your next like 17 inches you wear like a size you wear a 34 waist my next like 22 21 20 you have a 22? You have a deuce-deuce neck? It's like a tire size. I think an average guy is like 7, 16, 17. Yeah, alright. Deuce-deuce.

I think it's about 20, 21. Man. Yeah. Faux-fauxs. Tipping on faux-fauxs. That's a thick neck, dog. I swear, don't try to act like it's a good thing. It's all my lat work Trying to think of an acronym for lat long-ass tomatoes is all I got to

Tomatoes are in by the way corns coming in soon mm-hmm Letting you know Almanac corner Has been the almanac corner that's what I was trying to get out of Patty with that She had some fucking old watermelon Have you ever seen Pete's produce corner in New York, it's like an institution He's on like channel five or something and it's like him sitting at a deli gurney Yeah, you pick out a nice

No, does he have one of those little carving things? I've got on I love seeing guys that like produce warehouses where they have that little thing and they cut it open It's like a little hook Great. There's also some fish place downtown supposedly really good fish market Chinatown Guys got a whole operation gets the freshest fish You know buys the freshest fish in the in the in the Country yes the Wegmans Costco

Might be but what I would I'm going restaurant restaurant Don't say red lobster lobster. So the biggest yeah They buy 25% of all the lobster and crab in the in the they were on the brink The young CEO pulled them out of the fire. That's where I got the stat from really. Yeah, huh? He started he goes were looked he were viewed it as it's bad meat He's like we can we can charge us because we buy so much of it They buy trees that they buy 25% of all the crab and lobster in the country. No, that's a lot of crap.

Is it me or is that a lot? I wouldn't mind hitting a red lobster show a little support, show a little love for him. Sure. Let's do it. Do I had a hibachi? We're getting fat again. Guy brought it back from the wall watch wise today. Yeah, I go pay pay pay our dues. Yeah. Let's see if we can get a see if we get like a private dining or something.

Lot of red lobster. I've had them cheddar bay biscuits before you think Hello The one in New York has to have some some sort of some sort of fucking VIP booth or some telling a big man's coming All because oh we got to double do so in the line The man has a 22 inch neck we're gonna need more How there's a man with a Yes, I am that double deuce. What do you got? They got one in Times Square apparently the chef will curate a multi-course group dining menu for you Curate a multi-course dining menu. Bit of an experience. Whoa!

Gotta tip him. Fucking grease that guy. Probably up front. I don't know what we got. He's playing it all cool. Maybe we got fish, maybe we don't. This motherfucker with his fat ass neck coming in here Make with the cash All right, let's see this one's just funny This is from Spiro is it garbage that during my high school graduation party my parents used the party as a business Expense and invited a bunch of business associates that I did not know Man if that's not the a YG a YG way of doing business. That's so good dude. Let's write this whole thing off. That's fucking... Shout out to your dirtbag parents. That's awesome.

I used to hate that. What? Whenever there was like a party for me and my dad would invite people that I didn't know, like some of his friends, like who the fuck is this guy making the move on my tomato pie? Sure. Some beat ass card. Yeah. Hey kid.

Oh, fuck you. Hey kid. When are you leaving? How old are you? 32? It's like, dude, shut up. Quit hitting on my fucking sister, will you? I have a sister. My brother.

Yeah, that's funny, man. Damn, that is. That's pretty good. Um, all right, let's see here. This one's from Hogi's and Heater's great name. Oh, ten dollar hoagie fest here. Never have one read to my aunt Kate. I started it all.

I started it all. She was instrumental in a Philadelphia institution. I mean, she should be given a day in the city or something if you be in Kate They give her a keys to the city my cousin's husband is the one that introduced other Swedish fish flavor at Rita's water ice. Oh cool They don't bring that back every year yeah, they do that's on the fucking menu I made the menu I remember the first time I had it It was the one of village shires Vinny with the skinny sister was slanging ices and we went and she was like Vinny was like have you had the Swedish fish? I said shut your fucking mouth. I'm a root beer man. Everybody knows it Root beer vanilla, I would only do root beer vanilla and chocolate man and that chocolate hit like Siam What are we doing? What are we doing? It's fucking somebody. I love Vanilla I would only do root beer vanilla and chocolate man and that chocolate hit like sioma

What are we doing? What are we doing? It's fucking somebody. I love Chocolate wood rice. Yeah, do me Man Lemon cherry no, I didn't like cherry cuz they put the bits of cherry in there get out of here. I'll be working out I'm not here for my health. I mean no fucking three foot pretzel break right trying to lower my LDL Make with the choco macco. I remember finding that out for the first time. I went, what the hell is he? The Swedish fish? No, the chunks of cherry in the cherry. Left a pit in my.

Hey, skin in this. Gross. I remember being like, no, thank you. Right back to my dad. what is your return policy? On the half-eaten water. That's why I like chocolate vanilla and root beer. Hey, they put root beer skin in there Hey, he went a nice root beer barrel, let me happy Maybe a tootsie roll in a chocolate Chocolate water ice is there anything fatter? You're eating sweetest fish water right we're talking about you're over here eating fucking lemon sorbet or something

But vinegar shit guy have you had it I I said, no, he goes, we fucking turn his, his Buick around. We fucking, I mean, we came in wheels. We came here, parked it. She saw us. He was like, make go with the swimming with the fishies. Hit her with one of these. I, my mind was blow talk about getting a flavor perfect so when they do that I'm as this is how my brain works they extract chemicals from the sweetest fish They catch them first While caught hey yellow piece of spit right there size chocolate water ice. We've got math teacher

Buddy you're sweating through your shirt you got like going on they boil that down and then add that they're not making that from scratch that's a chemical they're dropping in there cuz it's too perfect I don't think you'd be able to really sure they just get the flavoring from Swedish fish and add it to the ice right they're not melting them down Dewey yeah, just getting the flavor. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's a it's a liquid. They're dumping in the ice Yeah, or a powder yeah prop powder prop makes more sense for me You got anything on that brainiac liquid be too expensive. It's a combination of natural and artificial flavor

That's a fuck out of here. Yeah, it's air and fucking red 18 Hit me. We gotta wrap it up Gang do yourself a favor check out hoagie fest this summer and Swedish fish and Rita's Grab some tickets to the live show grab the new merch. We got new shirts We got a go Hanks hot dogs king of the burbs garbage and And the garbage university and Luke over there has got the Ant Hoodies Sanitaysh. Get them while supplies lace. We love you, we'll see you next week. Peace.