Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Hooters Family Trip w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: July 20, 2023

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! NEW TOUR DATES: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Adam & Eve: https://www.adamandeve.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Got a news flash on the tour for all you bozos and homies. We do. We're adding second shows over there in Toronto and Denver. Tickets are flying out the shows and we added a third show in Chicago. Scoop them up. Don't get left out in the cold, baby. Yeah, gang. Tickies are going quick.

We're also going to be in Phoenix, Salt Lake, L.A., San Diego, Washington, D.C., Pittsburgh, Buffalo, Pontiac, Michigan, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Milwaukee, Wisconsin Sacramento, California San Francisco, San Jose and Philadelphia That's for sure gonna sell out soon get those tickets. We'll see you there. We love you gang scoop them up gang Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. Hey yeet.

So that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're good to be classy. Or they're just a big old piece of trash I'm your host a totally coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tuddy's in the new addition baby Oh, yeah, got the fucking Tony Hawk up on the wall. Uh-huh living high on the hog out here Antuddy just got busted over at the acne stealing rib eyes So good news is we're having steak tonight bad news is you got to cook them. Alright, okay my co-host is coming in. He's been really fucking icing me on easily. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no to 2005 ready to head back down to shore with the boys and show them how to shake it up on the waves. Oh yeah. Give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan everybody. What up baby thanks for tuning in as always

please make sure you're right with you subscribe on iTunes. Oh yeah. We got a full video available over there on YouTube as you know those numbers are. Shoot a roof. Cook it. Cook it. And obviously one of the greatest two websites of all time www.patrion.com slash or you garbage go over there. You get like a bajillion hours of content. We just passed 10,000 subscribers over there. Thank you. Enough love you again. Out to the fucking homies. Yeah.

And also, WWE.RUGorbage.com, you sign up over, you go over there, you get tickets to all the fucking live shows on a state trashy tour. Baby, we just, but you're moving those ticks are moving. Third show added in Chicago. That's gonna go second show added in Chicago. That's gonna go second show Adam Toronto that's gonna go second show added in Denver. That's gonna go low tickets in LA might even be gone by the time This comes out who knows fill these move and everywhere's going Chicago fucking DC get those tickets

Plenty of tickets in DC bring the family. Yeah, I mean call a boy. It's called a girl call call call whoever you got come out and see as Jesus Grace and I've been a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire the magic man makes us all look good Give it up for Toby T-bone McMullen everybody what up dude. Hey pal dude. I cannot wait to get over the border to Toronto to get my hands on some of that Poutine really really I can't wait gravy and fries What are we doing? Come on. I was an elder man when I first learned about that.

That seems crazy, but all in my wheelhouse. I don't go to strip club. That's what I was thinking. I can do that here. Yeah, they got you. You can also put Gravean fries here, apparently. I don't want to see if their boobs are different. Canadian boobs.

They're little Leafs. I heard their, I heard theirclubs are good up there. I think that's Montreal is known for their shipclubs. I believe, Toronto might as well. I just know Montreal is. All right. I can't do the Poutine of Monty O'Zempies. I'm not dabbing in an adequate sickening my tum tum.

But I'm sure they have other delicacies up there. Sure. Think of flapjacks for sure. I mean, I think Toronto, uh, flapjacks. Yeah, pancakes. It's, you know, Toronto's like the size of New York. It's not like, it's not like, there's not like log cabins and shit. It's like, oh, fucking, I mean, the pie's probably like a 5 million popular.

There's like skyscrapers and stuff. That's all I'm sure they have pancakes. Okay, all right. I just think you think Canada's like, that's it's just gonna be people playing hockey on a pond. It's a city. I know it's a city. Have you been to Canada? No, I haven't, but I've been,

I'm a world traveler now. I've been out of the country. Once. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Sure. Sure.

What do you think? What do I think? Have you been to Toronto? I don't know, I've just never heard any, but I think you're equating all of Canada to Toronto I think titties and maple syrup is pretty good reason to go call me an asshole. I don't know. I never called you an asshole I just never heard anybody go. Oh Toronto. I hear they got good pancakes up there trying to get my hand on some of these sticky titties After I get throwing up all right. Get throwing up. All right.

Quit screwing around. I wanted to ask you is this? Got any pancakes on you? No. I wanted to ask you this. I'm listening. I'm here. The birds away.

Okay. Sure. I'm home with the kitty cat. I wanted to ask you, I don't want cleaning up. You know, you're trying to keep the place nice. Is it trashy to run the vacuum cleaner on the couch? Because if it is, I'm guilty of it, and it works so well, it's fantastic.

You gotta run the cleaner on that thing. Uh, I'm sure it's effective. It's dirty though. Is it? Yeah, because that rolls all over the, that's getting all the dirt on the floor and then you're putting that onto the carpet essentially. The bottom of the couch, the couch, I apologize.

The bottom of the vacuum is seen better days. You gotta give me that. Are you using the extend? Oh no, I'm talking, yeah dude. He's like treating like a John Deere. He's up there. That's like using the backyard hose on your truck Do you know like car interior? I'm like patting at the battle of the bulge

I'm like fury Yeah, I don't that's not uh I get it for surface area, you know, it really knocks it out man. It really knocks it out Yeah, it's a good time. I wouldn't do it. It really knocks it out. Yeah. It's a good time. I wouldn't do it. I don't think so. I don't think you should do that.

How would you clean in your couch? We have a couch cleaner come. No, you don't. Where do we do? You have a couch cleaner come. Yeah. Like somebody that comes in like, it cleans the upholstery.

She might like what? What? Separate from the cleaning lady that you got? Yeah. Who blows you up online? She does, and also doesn't do a great job. You have a separate couch cleaner person that shows up at the house. Yeah.

Who were you? What's that cost to couch? Couple hunch. A couple hunch. Yeah, she said that I come in weekly. Well, he bought a white couch against my better judgment. My wife bought like a cream couch and then my fat ass is weird too But a cream colored couch. I told her not to do it now. We got a goddamn dog got a hell of a hand

I my fat ass is sweating on that thing. How much yay you mule Cream colored couch. Yeah, I could Frank Lucas over here. It looks good with the tigers that shoes, but Yeah, fucking Frank Lucas. It looks good with the Tigers that shoes, but Yes, someone's got to do it the marble countertops You know what I was thinking too, you know, it's it's cool, but it's pretty trashy. Is it trash? Everything is everything that's pretty cool is trashy and I'm on board is it tried to have a gun like it like a like a musket on the wall You know, I thought you just meant in general. I have a burrito on the wall now growing up. Yeah, growing up my aunt, uh, to a day spent all the time, you know,

like an old Winchester. But no, this was it was that bayonet. And from what I don't know now that I think about it, but I would look up at that thing. That thing might as well been 80 feet long. I would have taken out a couple of two tree red coats. That thing had some of King Charles's blood on it. Whoa. Yeah. It was a rifle.

Was it a was it a musket? They didn't have bayonets on it. I think so. No, this was like a rifle with the bay. I don't know when it's from. Now I've been from WWE to them for I don't know the neighbors been talking shit fixed bay and that was important rich men to yeah, get your bay and that and meet me on goal street.

Man, if I did they ever made that because I was in a war and they made that call fixed bay and that's I'd be shit in my pants. I mean you shit in your pants last week on the way over the world. We go to broke them. What's going on? Dude, that's that's petrified. I always thought it was civil war, but that doesn't make any sense now that I'm older. No, they did have month civil war. Because you only get one shot and you throw the knife on it.

Start slicing. Yeah, but that thing would have had to be like a bayonet from the civil war just in a row home and you know, that's where we were. Well, that's where my hands, that's where we grew up. I think we're talking about in the war. We're fighting house to house and South Philly. But I don't think they would have a civil war memorabilia

in the kitchen. It was in the dining room, of course. Cut the turkey. Nothing says like a nice family dinner to set the appetite and some fucking bloody banging out yeah obviously like a log cabin like a hunting cabin or something like that you know if your family did that I can see that uh-huh yeah now this was just in my my my aunt's house that's up there with the samurai swords on the wall man I remember my buddy had those that guy was single and ready to

Mangle the three of them the short one the strikeout king man, but then you know we should have Grab him and they'd be like loosen you know what I mean that handle was always Fuck off be careful. It's not bad. He wrote bad already Yeah, that's that Uh rifle with a bayonet. Do you have anybody in World War two? Maybe they brought it over. I'm sure somebody was but not that I know of I mean sure Yeah, that's a, uh, You're right for with a bayonet. Do you have anybody in World War II? Maybe they brought it over. I'm sure somebody was, but not that I know of.

I mean, sure. I think my- I wish a much down there. Hahaha. Fucking throwing bricks. Say it, what are you over there? Somebody's numbering I called up for sure. They're all walking forward, but this.

Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. What'd you say about the mom? He moved me Ben. So Jerry's looking for a fight is he? All right, you want a fight? So the King's looking for a fight, eh? Couple of Sullivan boys over there. There was there was five Sullivan brothers that were that were There was there was five Sullivan brothers that were that were Famous in World War two they all they all died in the same battleship

Which is what saving private Ryan is about isn't it? Yes, and that's both of my names. Yeah, Ryan's in the Sullivan They changed it to the yeah fighting Sullivan's the great movie man great movie in the the 50s I don't agree with those out of Kensington still Shout out to cousin Mike in the bullies. I'm talking about a christening. Talking about taking air fire from a zero. Yeah, the fighting solvents did guy who played Uncle Jimmy in a wonderful life was the father in the fighting solvents great movie in real life. No, no, no in the in the movie They made a movie about it. Okay. Yeah, and that's that changed that rule that like brothers can't the same thing

They all can't be deployed at the same there's like on the same ship or something. Yeah, there's some sort of rule from it Yeah, yeah But you know, no samurai stuff growing up my body. I remember I think of him almost a teacher karate. I don't know what she was doing to make ends meet she was doing something My my buddy's brother had it and he like I remember him walking me into the room and to show them off sure older brother It was like hey was my first time over to house. He was like check these out. This is a little risque Where's your mom keep the brandy? It's like, and keep this pussy shit out.

So I can get after it, dude. You got open crib right now. What's a, what's a famous brandy? I can see the bottle. So I'm in the headache. That would give you, when that's all you had, well, when you put iced tea and everything else, the apricot brandy.

The sea grems, is it? No, it's like J&M or the E&J. E&J. Erkin Jerk, baby. Yeah, we've talked about E&J. What's, what, let me see, it's a, Well, what I was gonna ask you, and I'm not implying by any stretch of the imagination.

This is a little risk A. Okay. Was your mom mama robe person? You stammering. Did your mom walk around in a ruban stuff? Did you ever see your canes? Is I in a couple of boys where they wore like the, I'm a sailor on leave robe.

You know, like the satin, the satin short ones. Oh, covering the nips with a cocktail swing. Like a kimono? Like Wolf Arrow and wedding grandsters at the end. See the little guy peeking out. Hello. That swing or shit right there. Paddy wore a robe in the winter, but it was like a thick, you know, it was like a parka.

Sure. And she would, man, she used to gag us in the morning because fucking she throw out the apples and cinnamon oatmeal. The quaker apples and cinnamon oatmeal, but if it was the winner and she wasn't feeling well, she'd have the sniffles, dude. The tissue went right in her sleeve. Oh, yeah. The niece was known for that. I would use the world's grossest magician. And now watch me make you sick. Yeah, you catch are these your germs? You get you have

raging heartburn an hour after you left the house goes to the oatmeal and you start getting the sniffies later on in the day That but Denise was big for that. I would used to go run, you know back as a young team That's Chrissy young lady. I'm surprised and odds an older lady thing. No it would be I mean she wasn't You know she wasn't Baring them like they were like as she's a squirrel in their acorns But from time to time, I would be, I would have to run the pockets

to find a couple extra bucks in the jacket. I am you up. Man, I'm reaching in there. It's just like a mouse trap in there. It's just fucking pissing. I'm like, oh, this has been in here for three seasons. Crumpled up. I remember one time I made a score of all scores, dude.

I must have made about 80 bucks. I was living high and then that finally came around. Yeah. Because, you know, she couldn't be out 80, I found like 11 here, nine there, 20 here. That was a good part of the day in the summer as a kid. Was ripping the house, like tossing the house. Uh-huh.

That one into the closet in the home, be like, let's get that a back at his thing. Yeah, dude. Let's open up the shoe shankin'. See if they're riding an old revolver in here or something. I got in the hanker, chip. That's a fuck. Yeah, dude.

Go in deep, man. Looking for key. Just a lookin' key. And I got lucky, cause so we had that, right? And then my stepdad moved in with a bunch of cool shit. Shit I had never explored before. Sure. Shit not for kids.

Mm-hmm. Guns, firecrackers, knives, just fuckin' I'd open up a picture drawer and just fuckin' Yeah it was. Start root. Find whatever I could find. But I was also like, if I got called with my mom it's one thing but if I got called root to me shit it was a combo that I didn't want to

fucking have to get you to ask me for that listen get what the fat ones go through my stuff again listen get we're basically roommates you're staying your room dude eating the half of the the half of the sandwich Yeah, that was big though going through I loved going through shit root root and You're still in root. Well, I was just left to my devices for salt especially those summers if when what what I say I was like 12 or 11, 10, whatever, like my brother and sister were working, right?

At that point, they're 16, 18, whatever, they're out. I'm fucking, I'm just at the crib by myself, no car, no nothing, ma's at work, stepdad's at work, I'm just like, it's frowning. We would cook, that's what we would do. In my brother would cook. We'd get hamburgers and make homemade salves very steaks.

Just keep frying them in the pan, dousin them with A1 steaks sauce. Oh yeah. So when I came up with noodles all foley, which was spaghetti and cream and mushroom soup, delicious. Little salt and pepper, a little palm cheese. Nice. Put you a nice little coma for the afternoon. Oh, yeah. Air conditioners cooking. Put the feet up.

Couple of ice pops. Good. Knocked kids going night night. Uh, all right. Yeah. Uh, but let's get into it again. We got a gosh darn family episode over here. Famous. Yeah. Uh, as you know, when you join the Patreon, we'll answer your garbage question on the air.

Uh, it's just the best way to do it. You got to become a homie and get a crack at a baby. You know what I mean? Uh, this one's from serial is a garbage for your dad to get a hooters t-shirt signed by all the waitresses after launch on a summer vacation. Man, PSI was 10 of my mom threw it away when she found it.

Of course. That's who does he think they are? What do you mean? To get the autograph. That's what I mean. Wait, I'm interpreting this as the family went on vacation. Then they went to hooters that much? What?

Wait, you said they got it on family vacation. So they went to hooters. Yeah, they went to hooters. Yeah, I guess, I don't know if the mom was there. Okay. The dad asked all the waitresses before he left lunch to sign my hooters t-shirt like they're famous. Honey, I just love the team. Yeah, it's big fan of the squad. Like, they're not some scovats in paper or something. You know what I mean with a pill problem. Anything like that would have been, there would have been retrobution

Yeah, to even get into a hooters we went to one one time as like a gimmick. I think it was all the dads My brother soccer team and they might have must have been like 14 Okay, it was all the dads there was like nothing really around wherever the tournament was or the game. Sure there wasn't. I gotta go to show and tell boys. Blue right buddy Apple Beast Parking lot. They're connected. And they went and I remember like even then it was like yeah this is fucking everybody was like this isn't this is this is throw out a decent wing over there.

I'll tell you that. Yeah. The Buffalo Buffalo fried shrimp Baked to my friend used to work there Nice lady and we would go visit her buddy yours Mike hey We would have got any tables it was crazy Well, I was guy on the tip list. Uh,huh. We would go and hang out. I am assuming we were relatively fishing to be like,

yeah, we know, Vagan Megan or whatever. You would go and hang out. No, I came off wrong now. Bozo. No, we, we went once or twice maybe when she was working, we went in for lunch or dinner. How are you? Get shot down.

A couple more of these fucking crab writers. Strike out. Oh, the strikeout chicken sandwich, please. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. The police stop looking at me specials. Yeah.

I don't know if we ever, you know, I remember being there and I'm assuming I was open to any proposition. How was it? Any proposition? In the wood of game one. One more extra ranch. assuming I was open to any proposition. What a game. Extra ram. He's talking to our real estate deals, right? How old were you?

How old? Are we talking you're a blue collar guy? Are you rolling in business cash? Oh, this is probably when you were selling the aluminum sighting. I'm going to land here to R a lot of guys probably bothering you. Don't worry, we're cool. So what time do you get off?

I was probably right out of high school, maybe 18. Maybe going into college, maybe. Oh, so you're not boozing. Well, I think we were going there because we would get served. Now that that comes out, I think she'd be like, hey, come sit down, I'll give you two tree beers. Sure.

You can Google at Rachel or whatever, you know, the girl in the next section. And yeah, I mean, I probably had like Jean Carpender Jean short zone. And a polo with a stain on it. Smoking in there probably probably. Probably smoking two tree beers trying to look adult ripping heaters. Yeah. Uh-huh. I'm going to temple next year. no. Cawfin'. So girl looking at a cross-eyed 16-year-old Kippie going, I don't own a phone, actually. Yeah, sorry. Oh, I'm so sorry.

Yeah, that, yeah. Oh, man, that's, man, that's just brought up. It was over there on street road, too. Okay. Right next to Michael's AK, the wrinkle ranch. Where could you share some wings? Can you put split to build the three? It's like two of you.

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That's Adam and Eve dot com promo code garbage Adam and Eve dot com code garbage doing I'm back to the show Pack to the show Yeah, it's a tough look stay out of I mean we went to a hooters on the road somewhere. Yeah, lovely, lovely. They're not yet. They're fun as a family steer clear. I was a family as a sports bar. We've been on the road and jammed up sometimes where it's like the only place you go watch a game or something or a fight or something that was happening.

Uh, where do we go? I think we're in San Antonio went to a twin peaks. Remember that? That's their ice in the beer. Frosty. Yeah, remember we go over to those beers and they came like they were like the coldest beers we ever had?

I we didn't know what it was and then we all put it together when the ladies with, you know, Kazungas walked up to the table. We were like, oh, twin peaks. Oh, I went to an iron side brewery not that long ago delicious meal. What's that has to do with anything? Okay, quality casual dining and stuff Did the waitresses have huge jugs or something?

An older lady She ran a robe All right, this one's from AJK you You didn't answer me about the robe, by the way. Uh, no, maybe in the winter, but like she would have like, she would have just be wearing that. She would have like sweat pants on and a shirt and then like put that on over as she was cold. Yeah, I didn't think she was so fresh.

I mean, it wasn't a fucking whorehouse. It was a fucking, she's a refined woman. What about your mom? She rolled around in a robe? fucking, she's a refined woman. What about your mom's, we're all running a robe? Jesus, that's my mother. I'm asking, I said all due respect. Oh yeah, she, she, she, she, she, Troubleshoppin' up. Yeah.

Your dad wore a robe. Yo yeah. That's classy. No? No it is, you go, what you would have to do to catch my dad. Oh yeah, my dad would never. He did have a blue one though

That maybe I did see once or 12, but I mean like I think he slept in jeans I don't think he's but his boots tied up my dad was tidy whiteies all day my dad would go robe cup of tea in the morning with the paper What's under the robe? What's up big ol' leeway? Al fresco a Confusingly small penis actually it's crazy you fucking rat

you shut the fuck up sorry dad you don't think listen fucking scumbag sorry we're not all Mando freaks over here grow next to power plants. Skate. Uh, I can take in shots. The way pure is you son of a bitch.

All right, let's see. This one's from AJK $10. Boozo, is it garbage if your mom talked to a ghost to help solve a 15 year old cold case PS? It wasn't solved in the cops put her on the suspect list. Talk about the ultimate turnaround. I need it man. I wish there was more.

I need more of that. Is the car. If your mom talked to a ghost to help solve a 15 year old cold case. PSA wasn't solving the cops put her on the suspect list. Sure. What is she doing? What I wonder if it's a job that she carries. She's all freelance. Or is she on the case? Like did somebody give her authority to solve this case? Why is she trying to solve the case? You know what I mean? Sounds like dad their eye on her to be honest with you She's all smoking mirrors trying to shake them off the tail. I know a lie when I see what it was Gary with the candles thick in the conservatory Maybe she's some kind of medium

You know That's yeah anything like that. Yeah, if you're pulling up to a precinct for the rusty gun going a ghost told me where this was. Ghost told me where the bodies were. It's where. Oh, look at that. You dropped a knife. Hey, look over there She didn't do it um Any friend of members do the medium thing?

Yeah, more than, uh, Oh, yeah, more than I would, you know, be willing to admit. Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. Recently, yes, the whole squad. Yours? Oh, yeah. It's big. There's something going on in the water of Philly where

someone passes and they all go, well, we talk to Gary's, you know, yeah, yeah. Okay. Get the beers outside. Yeah. Yeah. First it was a 23 and me and then it was, anyway, where can it go see?

Yeah, there's, there's, I think there's like two or three of these mediums floating around the greater Philadelphia area, lining their pockets. Yeah. It's more regneo-bitchuaries. It seems like every time I talk to someone from home, there's a new somebody, a friend, a fam, a cousin, a this and that. They're all talking to somebody.

Yeah. And I don't think it's on the coffee, there. Set down with Mr. Julia last night. What? No, whatever name is but as like There's also Catholic isn't that like in a front to the to the thing to like sack religious is what it blaster me I don't know because I think they're trying their head. They're talking to them in heaven. I guess I Know it's all what are they doing in a split level in fucking Delaware County? Kevin? I guess? I know. It's all,

What are they doing in a split level in fucking Delaware County? They're paradise. Up on the R5. Yeah, I don't, Is there a Rudy, a Randy, a Richie? Oh, yeah, Richie. Richie. I was almost name Richie if I was a boy. Yeah. A lot of that. Oh, man. That's patty-folly written all over it. Talk about connecting the dots. Well, yeah, actually, we lived down

the street from a Richie. He was 17 houses down. I saw him once walking outside. Oh, he's on the line. He's going to grab your, your uncle or whatever. Yeah, that's just tell the fat one to go on the ozampix. They worked. Yeah, that's a tough one. I think anytime you're, anytime you got to go to a, a ghost to crack a case or something a little wonky. Yeah. Although wouldn't mind doing it. I don't want anything to do with that. I think that opens up the bad news, huh? You don't know what you're, you're taking home with ya. Yikes.

I don't think it's that. You got the old Henderson murder of. Fuck, that's... That fucking grim reaper breathing down my back. I got enough pressure to deal with. I don't like that. I'm also in the house by myself right now. And let me tell you something.

Every light is on. Even in the every light is on even in the apartment. Yes Even in the apartment. I do have to give it. I understand this. There's a thing There's this you know a psychosis you have when you're bi or I waited six weeks by myself I my lady was gone. I don't like it. Some of those nights it'd be quiet You have the died here. He you would see him look up into the hallway or something. I got the cat cats do weird shit. They stand there and stare at the wall. And it's like, what the fuck are you looking at? Uh-huh. There better be a mosquito or a ladybug or something like that up there. Yeah. Otherwise you're fucking. I call

my, I call you in holy water. There was a couple of night. I know hotel. I call myself walking through fucking, in the like checking everywhere Checking it's under the bed Checking closets that a guy couldn't fit in but I'm like down there with a hanger like making sure there's no legs Standing in the clothes, you know what I mean? I broke up the I got that pull in the shower curtain back Pull a child's checking everything. I got to bespoke post slice and Dyson right next to me. Oh, yeah Out of my pillow last night I was checking everything. I got the bespoke post slice and dice are right next to me. Oh yeah. Woo. I run under my pillow last night.

Real calm, cool vibes over there. Yeah. I don't like it. I don't think being alone. I was, I mean, but alone, obviously, that we've talked about the suburbs and the city. It's like for someone to get into your apartment and the city, that's what they do it.

They'd have to, they'd have to be a ghost. Just you lay it on your back flailin can't get up well plus I got to I have the construction site next door now mm-hmm somebody could climb up or something like that but come down and get me yeah there people going in a route around they get up there junkies they're not climbing fucking nine stories to get your fat ass. But are not also if they do. And deserve it at that point. Why? They can come up there and get you. They put the work in. I mean, what are you talking about?

Yeah, I gotta give it to them. No, but there's a thing when you're by yourself, that fucking that thing starts spinning. Well, this way, the way I get, I'll be sit on the couch and I'll hear something a crack a ding or Whatever the dog will move and I'll go that's nothing. I go well. What if it is or nothing? And there's a guy waiting with a sack of pennies to lock me but when I go to take a leak in the middle of the night I got a full fucking eyes on this you know Second pennies. That's a rough way to go down Fucking change it. We were fucking locking a socks. Let's me rough way to go, man. Fucking change. It's been a fucking lock in a sock splitting

you open link up the stash, you know. I was telling some of the other day, I think I was telling the bird. I like when there's a little goings on. You know what I mean? Like I, you know. You need a little buzz in the end. I like a little bit of energy.

I like a little construction. I like to hear a little beep, beep, beep, beep. Here, you know, some things going on. Things being taken care That's when I sleep the best because usually when I wake up in the morning and the construction guys are working I it's good to knock back out for an hour. It's a lot nice Like I turned down I turn my light off Because that's on all night. You leave your light on all night and the room. Yeah when I'm by myself

You're sleeping with the lights on? Yeah. Whoa. Nervous kid. What about a TV? I had my phone on. I was watching Johnny Quest last night when I fell asleep. Get the carriage to go to bed. You sleep with the lights, like, this light? I don't have, I don't have, like,

the flood lights, but like a lamp or like a ceiling light? No, a lamp, not the ceiling light. You're sleeping with a lamp on. Yeah, it's not good to sleep like that either He's supposed to sleep in darkness. Yeah, it's not good for your Fucking Dr. Oz over here. Thanks for the heads up. Yeah, it's not good because I haven't been sleeping great I'm very tired even with the CPAP Better getting got though. I'll give you that Hey as a paranoid from one for one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one from one Not really yeah, but you don't when you're by yourself bottle. Yeah cuz if somebody opens the door you hear it rolling around

No, it just locked the door throw the cat in their face You'd have to fucking kick my door into wake me up and then I'm fucking I don't think they got like a little Thing get in there like that Somebody sneak in that's what the bottle is there I hear that and I guarantee you what I wake up. What are you gonna do? Then you're gonna wake up thinking you're fucking bed already You hear that bottle if that bottle falls and wakes you up you're waking up cat about cat knocks it over She hasn't but Harinoy. Yeah. Oh, I would freak out. Yeah, so that's not gonna do anything

You're better off just let them sneak in and kill you while you're sleeping. Yeah, take you out with the lights I didn't immediately leave We've where the apartment? while you're sleeping. Take you out with the lights. I didn't immediately leave. Leave where? The apartment. Get the cat. Go fucking. We're just gonna walk. Hey, just give me a minute. What do you walk by him? What do you mean? No, it's the bottle fell.

Ghost anything. I'm out. Oh, you think it's a ghost? Whatever. It's anything. The bottle falls. Somebody either tried to get in or what if they're in? If it falls, they might just come in and go now I got to kill them Oh, would you see what I'm saying I made noise I don't know Oh witness no cuz I had a buddy of mine. You're just saying that that's not gonna happen

I had a buddy of mine who's you know I'd rather know and and let's let's fucking get it on Face to face here in your robe It's all the tissues because a friend of mine, his parents, when they were starting out, they lived in the contrahoccan down here, that down outside Philly, and they went to bed one night and the mom woke up in the middle of the night and just like she just felt something and woke up. But like didn't really move. She knew she like woke up scared,

and she just heard this voice go, let's tie him up. No. And Richard Geer put a gerbil in his ass. What are we doing? Yeah. What do you mean, she told me this story? Incredible witness. I believe her.

Okay. The mom told me this story. I believe the ghost detective over this. Get to the bottom of this. Uh, yeah, okay. That could be sure. Listen, you do what you want. I got the bottle and the fucking blade under the pillow

and the lights are on and the cats on patrol. I've seen you try to get up after a good night's sleep, let alone fucking. I said, give me a second. After an intruder. I I think I'm a lighter sleeper than I really am I would be I would be done I miss phone calls no that no shit you miss a dude I've been shot there's been hours where I've been trying to get a hold to you and you're just off the off the reservation Tell new guy Luke to pack a bag pack Pack a bag. You're staying with Uncle Hank for the next couple of weeks. A fucking work in nights. Yeah. All right, let's see here. This one's from Dallas, New Homey here question. Have you ever dined inside a KFC?

Of course. Yeah. Back in the day. Yeah. I don't think I've ever taken KFC out of KFC. Oh, you're crazy. We were not a KFC family. Oh, I mean, we weren't, I wouldn't say we're a KFC family, but as a young, young kid, I remember going to KFC, you know, Thursday night, whatever, getting a bucket. Uh, and then we talked about it with Timmy. They used to have these parfays. They have like a little cooler case, sure, in the front that had like the cold slaw and they had these parfays in there, which were phenomenal. Yeah, it was delicious. Or out of nowhere, when you didn't know

what was going on for dinner, you didn't see anything in the sink that was that was throwing out. And then all of a sudden, the old man walked in a door with that bucket. Woo! Let's go. Big ass thing of mashes. Some slog, a couple of biscuits for the boys.

Yeah. You ever seen a kid trick or treatin' with a KFC bucket? Whoa. Yeah, that's a different breed, that ain't great. That's not so shit. Still a couple wings in there. Yeah, because you can't really clean those. There's grease and crumbs at the bottom of that. That's not totally shit. Still a couple of wings in there. Yeah, because you can't really clean those.

There's grease and crumbs at the bottom of that. That greasy-ass Twix bar. Fuck that. Hey, use a pillowcase. That's what we used. Once you get to 12, 13, you use an pillowcase. Oh, yeah. Yeah, pillowcase before that. And the costume was real light.

Real open for interpretation. Yeah, there was always, you know, there was. So you'll be the times where it was like the costume was the caught. You're like really trying to wow with the costume as it gets seven eight nine. Couldn't work with it though. You just hot and sweaty, but there was always that thing too. When you decided you were at the age of like, oh, we're gonna meet up as friends now. Like there's no parents. There's no like, I'm going here to meet up with the boys and the girl, whatever. Throw a mask on on just throw a mask on and a hoodie and

make with the candy. Yeah. But there was always like one cute who showed up still like to into the costume. It's like him and his brother. They're like a horse. I'm trying to get laid over here. I never did it to, man. Gosh, do get the fuck out of here. That's like, that's like trying to sneak out of prison. You do something like that. You don't do that shit. I never get the fuck. We get your hands in your brother's pockets the whole night. You're the ass of the mule. Get out of here, dude. I remember one year we did, uh, IC pay, me and my buddy, my mom painted our

face like fucking the insane clown pasta. That's cool. Yeah, it was pretty, if I was young, I mean, I wasn't 18. That wasn't, it was, we were young. We were, it's fucking 11, 10, 11, something like that. But I, now that I think about it, I think I rolled up with like the full face pain. I was like, yeah, we're fucking smoking sigs over here. Did you creep in everybody?

Yeah. You a ghost? No, we're rapper that I've only heard one song of. I think we got into wrestling, I think, at one time. Like I think they were all like WWE or WCW and that's live as like our intro to them I shut the ICP all right my boy fucking hung me out to dry one time We were supposed to go as gangsters at school And I didn't get out talking about this is a car. I didn't really have the look I

Like borrowed one of my uncles like rain coats, but it wasn't like a gangster trench coat. It was like a businessman. Yes. Yeah. And I didn't quite have the hat. I think my mom made the hat. It was bad, dude. I look like an asshole. And I show up. And he's got like a full football uniform on. Oh, we left you that high and dry Yeah, he can't cuz he's like looking at insurance Like Ned Ryerson Dude it was a tough look Yeah, he got like his brothers like high school football jersey and his pants and he came in everything was all talk

He had to face paint. I'm like dude. What the hell fucking I was like is agent or something like that show me the money I get a asshole walking around Yeah, that's it man. I remember having you walking into school or those things or those of it with the carriage of like Is this gonna hit? Is this gonna hit? I am I you're already making up excuses in your head That's I get whatever you don't know whatever Real tough man That inner monologue walk into the bus stop Then you get to the bus stop and someone else you're the only guy in an outfit or whatever. Oh

God forbid somebody's wearing the same costume Man, look at like a dork. Three spider men standing at the bus stop. Never took KSC home, that's crazy. And I'm now that you say that I think my stepmom would get it. That's a big stepmom move right there. Bucket of chicken. Yeah, but it was a handful of times because I can remember the wedges at the crib.

I can remember that box of wedges at the man that those like beer battered wedges or whatever they were. Fuckin' it. But I gotta say as a kid, I wasn't as bad as you, but chicken on a bone. No. I would get the chicken. They gave us real early And it was thighs too my mom was big on thighs. You know what a chicken thighs like to a little kid

Yeah, I felt like eating a frog. I felt like a paleontologist they getting through that to get to the fucking meat It's like what can I eat what can I eat we got a sentence away for testing? Yeah, the skin would come off in the first bite Then you see raw muscle. Yeah, no, I like it. I was there for the side Slough. Yeah hook me. I remember being like there's a fast food joint that serves mac and cheese Where the fuck are we living next to this place? But we would go as teenagers and we would eat there, I think Just for like something to do sure kids in the burbs like oh, let's go kill a half hour old I can go and eat it.

KFC or whatever. I remember eating it all of them. Wendy's, we talked about, we talked about the salad bar I've eaten there. I remember when I didn't want to eat at McDonald's anymore. When it became sad, when it was like the middle of the summer and you'd be in there

and there'd be like one old man just sitting there having his lunch by himself, and I just felt so bad for them. Yeah, you look around, you're like, this place ain't jumping. Yeah, wears off, eat that shit in the car. I made the mistake of getting KFC when I first moved into the city.

Never gonna want a New York City. Nuts. It's like, it's a fucking war zone. It looked squirrel, dude. It looked like it was cooked in like a New York City. It's like it's a fucking war zone. It looked squirrel, dude It looked like it was cooked in like a nuclear test facility. Yeah, it was like black and brown Dude is awful. Oh, it's bad. Dude, there's that one on like 14th and second And it's like ruined like the three blocks around it. There's like a no fly zone around it It's just like fucking street people and people sleep it.

It's like a lot. It's like that used to be that wall or that wall out of the McDonald's down on next to the seller. Yeah. That thing was rough too. Oh yeah, I mean that was. Well it's the only thing really open 24-7 or open super late so it's a bunch of,

you get a bunch of drunk people, you get a bunch of street people, you just get a bunch of fucking, whoever's up at 3 a.m. walking the streets of New York ends up in one of street people, you just get a bunch of fucking whoever's up at 3am, walking the streets of New York, ends up in one of those. It ain't. No good. I remember dunking the old Dunkin' Donuts back in the day too.

That would depress this shit out of you. Some of them were all right. Bunch of old men with no families, crushing sigs, and eating a plain donut, crushing a coffee, in a mug. They used to have mugs. I don't know, yeah, but they used to be very I have memories of them being like very communal like it was always like this Yeah, a couple of old timers in there talking to it. They all became friends and then they were talking before the revamp

Like do you remember an old Duncan Donuts where it was the counter? They had a counter No, I don't think they did plates. They states silverware. They had a diner type thing. Yes. No, it was real old school man. Their donuts were fucking fire. Uh, they were making them there. But the guy in the commercial said as a, as a somebody whose family used to, by extended families to own a handful of Dunkin' Nose, they usually do them on the one property and then give them to the other ones. I don't think now.

I think now they're coming in from somewhere. No, they're coming in frozen, I think. No, I think the one would make them. I mean, this one's in that long ago. Give that a goog, T-bone. I'm looking up now. Where are they making Dunkin' Donuts? They're frozen.

They're frozen. Yep. Tell me. What they used to make them right in the store. Yeah, imagine that Imagine that Why couldn't they have kept that? Costs you think yeah for sure anything you go Why don't they do it like they used to cost it's caused everything's called think about it And you got 50 how how many Duncan don't is are it like they used to cost cost everything's called think about it and you got 50

How many Duncan don't is there probably fucking 2000? Way more than that. It's not that I'd say 30,000 30,000 Duncan don't there's no way in the country Yeah, there's no it's probably like 5,000 Toby Give me one second. I would say it's probably less than that crispy cream makes them I think 9500 9500 I would say it's probably less than that. Krispy Kreme makes them, I think. 9,500. 9,500. Yeah, you all just go to, it's heavy East Coast.

I mean, they don't have mountain Montana and shit like that. How many McDonald's are there? In the US or World Wide? In the US. 400,000. No. You don't think? No.

13,000. Jesus Christ, 13.5. Whoa, look at you. That's not that. Johnny franchises over here. I thought somebody's been doing some big things. Oh, have you? No.

I'll do that. What? Yeah, let's do. Let's open up a Mickey D's or something like that. There's no money in that. What are you talking about? You got to own like 30 of them. All right.

I trust my own. I read it. What my beak, though, I'll tell you that. Ha ha ha. Um, no, I don't, I, the, because there used to be a, a stat that there was more subways, subways than McDonald's,

but it took like three or four subways to make the same amount of money as it make. That was like a snapple factor or something. Okay. And I thought the number was like, I don't think it was. It was something, I mean, he knew the fact too. So it was like a known snapple. It was something, I mean, he knew the fact too, so it was like a known...

It was a trivia fact floating out there. Well, you a nantucket nectar's man? I was high at all a shit right there. I don't think I've ever had one. I had one buddy that would get them at Wawa and I was like, what are you hoity-hoity? Get rocks. Those things, you know?

You man, tucket nectar. Spensive. No, are those things look like bus bowls? What? No, it's a, it's like a snap, expensive. No, are those the things look like bus balls? What? No, it's like a snap, it's like a fancy snap. Yeah, it's a fancy snap. Okay, I'm thinking of the orange juices. You know what I'm talking about looks like a little grenade.

Orange, Gina? No, it's like apple juice. Oh, that's a Martin Ellis. Yes, sir. That's high quality stuff. I've only had that a two-treat time in my life. Yeah, the wedding, those things are delicious. Yeah, they're shout out to Martin Ellie They've had a buzz ball. No, that's a good time. What's that?

They're those little like shooters. They sell them in 7-Eleven, but they're like on the door of the freezer It's just like a little ball with like horrific booze. No, I think I know what you're talking about. Oh, yeah They have like a tag on them. Don't they? Oh, yeah, yeah I've been jammed up. Callin' a fire mission in my own position. Do you guys ever have game day beer, the 7-11 beer, that they ran for a minute? We're from PA to 7-11's not a lot of serve beer in PA.

So that's all that's, you have to go to a beer distributor or a bar to get beers. Okay, well you didn't miss out. It tastes like motor oil. But it was like a dollar for like a 24 ounce drink. We missed out, we missed out on all that stuff in Pennsylvania. Cause it's a- They just started selling booze in the grocery stores, then.

And even that- You gotta go to a separate checkout. It's gotta go cause that, that used to be controlled by the state. Like that was like state owned within the thing. Commonwealth. Quakers. Narcass state dude. Yeah, it's the Quakers. It's all, but it's all, it's all like,

so in order to sell beer, you have to get a license from the fucking state. And the guy who controls giving a license for the state, it just so happens that like, 14 of his cousins all own fucking beer distributors. You know what I mean? It's all fucking, the power's very... A lot of places in PA are selling their liquor licenses, too,

because they're so high right now. They're so exquisite. So there's only a set amount of places in Philadelphia or Pennsylvania or whatever the township is. 5600 G's. That are allowed to serve beer. So if you want to open a restaurant, you have to, and there's not a liquor license available,

there's a finite number. So you have to buy it to, and there's not a liquor license available? There's a finite number. So you have to buy it off a guy who's selling a liquor license. So that's the going rate. So if somebody can be like, I want $600,000 for my liquor license, there's no set price. It's all like, yeah, it's crazy. Now that it's wildly corrupt, I presume. That's a system built for Greece, baby.

Oh, yeah. Like a bizarre and Bangkok. Ha ha ha. I don't. Like a bizarre and Bangkok. I don't know what I'm talking about. Playing ball. Yeah. A lot of grease in the wheels. I assume they get what you need.

That's what's that going to say when we try to put these place. We'll have to grease the wheels. There's something I like doing. It's like, be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's future. Ain't the boy scouts you're buying. I was from the thing. I wasn't a band leader either. All right, let's see here. This is from Eric never had one red is it? Is the use of the word Crick the greatest indicator of garbage of a garbage human bean? I would say it's up there. That you think you know, Crick of course for Crick. Yeah. Is that a feeling I always thought that was like, did you say that growing up?

My hillbilly cousins did. Crick. Crick was big. Then, as you know, how many Crick? Crick was you. It was Crick. And then as it was until I got in like, junior high, I was like, oh, it's Crick.

A Crick needs a little WD 40. There's a Crick in the door. Or a Crick in your neck. Now, Crick in your neck. Yeah, you can have a Crick in your neck. Really? Yeah, it's Crick in your neck. Crick in a door. Crick in a door for sure. Yeah, Crick in your neck. Now, creaking. Yeah, you can have a crick in your neck. Really? Yeah, it's cricking your neck, creaking a door. Creaking a door for sure. Yeah, cricking.

I've ever heard of cricking the neck. Yeah, I got a fucking sub-roll. I woke up with a crick in my neck. Mm. But that is... I would call that a stinger. I woke up with a stinger. I'll show you a stinger.

I'm gonna use this. I should walk out my robe on on my stinger. Oh, damn, I got a stinger. I used to walk out my robe on my stinger. I got a stinger last night. Crick is one thing that is as a vocab. So it's creek versus creek if you're from, I don't know where in the country, or you're from that might not know creek. But I mean, you're North Carolina,

you know it. There's no coming back from that. No. If you say creek in conversation, I will look at you differently. What's up there with Hamburg or me? Rough. No, it's way worse than Hamburg. Rough can be regional.

Rough. I like Minnesota, I think says rough. Bob Vila used to say rough. If you say crack, you're in homes, too. You're in overalls and no shoes on. Yeah, crack's a way of life. Yeah. And if you go swimming in a creek,, you got leeches on you dude.

No, I've been swimming in a Crick. Did you ever watch this old house as a kid with Bob Vila? Yeah. Now, who is the other guy? I don't know. I was more of that guy. Oh, and he took over. There was Bob Vila versus someone else.

We watched that. We were pre-forfers. Trashy as we were, we were pretty heavy in the public television when I was a kid. We only had three channels for a long time though. I mean it was the fucking 30s. As they play the old British comedies and stuff like that we'd sit and watch them. Lawrence Welk. Kill myself brutal. I thought there wasn't there another guy with Bob Ville. There was two guys. No, that took it over. No, not took it over. There was two different shows, two different leading home improvement men

At the time, I think and Bob Vila and there was another guy building it with Tony Saturday I need to grease the wheels That's just in paying off. God. She's She's him grease some people for permits and stuff Take any inspector out the dinner. Any dickhead can make a log cabin, all right?

Try building the fucking three-story walk-up in Mayn, Ed. Let me show you how we should get the cement tractor show up on time. That's very, that's all right. Back to school. Yeah, that's what the boy scouts answer. That's from what the hell's a widget? Unless I'm thinking of Tim Allen versus Bob Villa, which could be another one. I don't know.

And I feel like they were like fighting for it. I feel like each family was at this family or at that family. I don't know about that. They definitely both weren't on public television. Bob Vila was was PBS. He was public television. You're not talking about that thing where they would move the bus. No, that was extreme home makeover. Extreme home makeovers. That was Thai pennington. They were doing the Lord's work. They were making a lot of money.

Yeah. That show was huge. Yeah, they were helping families. Yeah, were they? Yeah, they were giving fucking like the most needy of families. I heard all that shit fell down after they were gone. Bob Villas probably still got a couple of properties out there. Still passing. Well, anywhere on that roof you want to put a pull up there. I don't give a shit. That's timber right there. Yeah. No, they were, I think they were doing that.

It was like very fucking, they would go in, it would be like for like a mom and a dad who had like 88 kids and took in their sister's kids cause the sister was on meth. Okay. The whole thing though, they were having like a daycare and the basement because whatever. I just remember when they said move that bus patty,

the water works would start Then it started really getting it started getting a lot of sponsorship Sears was doing everything the mate tag repairman was there fucking yeah, yeah, yeah, of course I mean fucking sure turn a profit something American got it. I gotta let my beak somehow Can you be giving away all this stuff for free someone's got someone's gonna pay to pay the brist acts at the end of the day I pay for all this lumber He's gonna he's gonna pay for that goddamn bus All right, let's see this is one verbica. Have you or anyone you know never executed an upper Decker? No never I think maybe one of my boys did,

if for the classy folks out there that don't know, if you don't know, it's when you drop a doose in the tank of the toilet. So when you flush it, poop water comes in. Yeah, and it stays in there for, it's not a good scene. No, I think you gotta remove the poop with your hand and then not your hand, but you have to get it out of the tank.

You have to fish in there or something. And then keep flushing it. Yeah. So clear out the water. I didn't great. I think maybe one of my boys might have done that at a party at a kids house that we didn't know was like some rich kids house that he might have done that. I have I've turfed a couple of lawns. Peel that

in the truck. Never any damage. You'll tough guy. What did you feed the dog? That's pretty mean to do the upper decker. Yeah, my buddies got kicked out of the one on a way on spring break and they got kicked out of the hotel they were in. They did it in their own hotel room. No, they didn't the lobby. Which is a dick move. But I remember the circumstances were like real fucked up. They were like... I didn't have the squat strength to pull that off.

They were like, get out or something and they're like, the left, they were like, in Cancun. Oh, they did it after. After, they thought that's why they got kicked. No, they got booted out of the hotel I don't know I'll be there like this is all like pre Oh, let me just pull out my phone and book a new place on hotels tonight or whatever they're like Oh, we have to like call it traveling. It's like figure this the fuck out somehow

So I think the retribution they fucking somebody went in not their finest hour. No, of course not But hey make mistakes in our youth. What are you gonna do? Gotta get payback somehow. I'll have my vengeance in this life for another and this lobby or another But now you know what you think about the poor guy's got a fucking clean that out of course Kick out of the hotel of course now it sucks. It's shitty. He wasn't the one doing a whip its upstairs with music blasting all night either I'm sure they got kicked out for a probably very logical reason knowing my dirtbag friends sure God love them God love them. I also have Pat shout out to Pat who's done the show

He's pooped in his own front yard before and it Somebody thought somebody was like a wolf loose or something the next morning and somebody thought somebody was like a wolf loose or something the next morning. Goddamn, coyotes. Ha ha ha ha. Looks like that coyote had a Caesar salad. This beast has been chewing blood wraps. Yeah.

SIGARATS. Yeah. Also not his finest moment I presume. A wolf loose. That's all right. Yeah, also not his finest moment I presume. Wolf loose. That's all right. All right, this was from CJ. Let's see. This one is not about the show.

This is a curveball. This is a little X-ray to hit. Uh-oh. But it's a... Is it garbage to get a B.J. from your third cousin? Which I need to look up on third cousin to be exactly sure what that is. Yeah, man. Who may or may not have been an exotic dancer.

I mean, that's got nothing. It doesn't matter if she was an accountant or not. A third cousin, that's your cousin. It was only twice and it's because she was practicing her new routine on him that involved that I think that might have been a I'm sure there was sexual tension between the obviously what's a third cousin and so yes I can tell you I have third cousins okay but a third cousin would be your one of your parents first cousin's children. Nope. Nope. No, it's even further than that. Oh really? That's your second cousin. Third cousin share a great, great, grand

parent for generations or moves. A third cousin shares a great, great, great, grandparent or great, grandparent. Great, great. That's strangers, if he asked me. I didn't even know what we're talking about. I don't even know her middle name. I don't even know who her dad is. That's out there. I'm not saying it's right, and you're probably both going to hell. But that's out there.

My cousins, we share a grandfather. No, your cousins? Yeah, no, we share a my grandmother and their grandmother were sisters. Just grandmother, my grandmother and their grandmother were sisters. Was that like removed, right? No, what do you mean?

I understand, but what's the term twice removed? Yeah, that might be great grandparents, twice removed right now. What do you mean? I understand but what's the what's the term twice? Yeah, that might be great Grandparents twice removed or something not great. No grandparent. We hey, we got it. We're trying to figure it out I thought that was third cousins No, you're clearly wrong. He just told you what third cousins was so you're that's real deep That's full great great Share a great great grandmother. Grandparent. Yeah. That's deep in the fucking spider web. That's only two. Two what? That's like 400 years. No, it's not enough. Are they around right now? When they're alive? You can't do it. You throw a couple twisted teas in that mix. You can't do it. You throw a couple twisted teas in that mix.

He was wearing sunglasses. He had a fresh pair of A-gles. What do you got? So a Cousin twice removed. That means your cousin is either part of your grandparents generation or your grandchildren's generation because they are two generations removed. I don't get any of that. What's the second cut? This feels like I'm taking the SATs and it sucks. I know. I feel like I'm watching someone fail the SATs. I feel so dumb right now.

Because also at the same time you're thinking about everything, giving you whatever that. I had a shot with Wendy. Fuck. I blew it. If you got to do generational math, it's no good. But we're not figuring it out, so maybe it is okay. First cousins are your... Cousins.

First cousins are your mom or dad's brother or sister's kids. That's a no-go. Let's start there. That's no good. Alright, we know that's wrong. But feels so right. So we know that's wrong. But feels so right. So we know that's wrong. Yeah.

Then you move that a little bit, okay, to your mom's cousin. Well, all your cousins are all your first cousins because they're all direct descendants from your mom's cousins. We know this. All right. So what's your cousin's kid is your second cousin? My cousin's kid. Cause I have a bunch of cousins with kids.

They would be my second cousins. Yeah. No, no, no, no. But there you're, there you're first cousins. Those kids are your first cousins. First cousins once removed. cousins, once removed. Yeah, once removed. Don't say, yeah, you've been wrong on everything you've said so far.

Remember when you were going to define third cousin for us first and that was wrong? I think you said you know what first removed was. I don't know what he's what swing your lead website. He's looking at. You're trying to tip it in his favor. Am I a hillbilly.org? He's a nods cool dot com. I get dirt ball.

It's actually if she can keep her mouth shut dot org. I don't. That's deep in the charts. Give me third cousin again. And I have a feeling. Why would you be sp- hanging out with them if it's if it's that removed. You wouldn't know those families. Maybe they think they're up in the same school district or something. Maybe she lived on my blog.

Third cousin is all right. Third cousin's share a great great grandparent. So what does that mean? A great great great grandparents So you have your grandparent. Yes, then you have their parents which would be your great-grandfather correct And then is it his grandfather or his father his father? So your grandfather's grandparent your grandfather's long gone dude But nobody knows that guy's name anymore. He could be the dude that rolls in with the with the with the wad full of cash You're Christmas not your grandfather's grandfather? That's yeah your grandfather's grandfather was the alive your grandfather. No your grandfather's father is your great great grandfather

No, it's your great grandfather. Oh Yeah, fuck. Oh, yeah. All right. Okay. Oh Yeah, Google see if we can find out what two cousins board a train in New York. Where do they be? Where does the incest happen? Find out how old a great great grandfather high pressure situation Either way, go to Adam and Eve. How old, or what the age gap between somebody today and a great, great grandfather would be?

Is that like a hundred and twenty years? Because your grandfather figure, if you're one and your grandfather's sixty. Okay. Right? Yeah. His dad would be a buck twenty. No, it wouldn't double. His dad would be a buck 20 no wouldn't double his dad would be 90 okay his dad would be a hunter you're 120 years away from the relationship he ain't fucking showing up nowhere guys one plus the fucking let's see the life expectancy back in a day I mean that dude's been thought that for a hundred years yeah I'll have charcoal meat yeah forget about it here

I do it's been thought that for a hundred years. Yeah, I'll have charcoal meat. Yeah, forget about it. Forget about it. Uh huh. Couple of times. Obviously it's not weird if they buy it. I would need some pictures. Where she dance?

How does she sounds, Kate? Yeah. I don't know who weigh in. I think it's, listen, is it right? No. Is that the kind of thing where, hey me and Tammy are dating? What, okay, what would the family say? Would that be frowned upon?

If you were dating your third cousin. The pen's how small. It depends on how they pronounce Creek. Yeah. Ah, there it is. That's how you two got together? If you were dating your third cousin, it depends on how they pronounce Creek. Yeah. There it is. That's time you two got together. That's a Creek family.

Oh for sure. Pretty sure. Yeah, that's a real Creek shit. Oh yeah. Listen, it's probably not great, right? Well, what? Well, what? Sounds pretty odd.

I've seen his VBAs. What's the, but, what's the line? Oh, what does the family care? That's what my thing is, the family doesn't care. I think you're foreign off a way if nobody gives a fuck.

So it's like, what if they're from a small town and like Appalachia mountains or something? And it's like, oh yeah, that's not the problem. What's that strip club like? Yeah, whatever. I don't know, she's working on her moves. So, she's gotta be bringing the fucking heat. She's turning, she's converting her fucking third cousin.

But it's also they've done the math to know they probably shouldn't be doing this. But it could be one of those things of like, you know, you might not meet until you're 20. Oh, well, they moved to town or whatever and you're like, oh, this is fucking Debbie. She's actually a great uncle, lesser kids, kids, kid, kid. Oh, fuck that then, yeah. If you grew up together, I'll be, yes, no, this is all under the guys of I guess you're, you didn't grow up together. I am assuming these two did

roommates Yeah, I don't know We got to wrap it up Either way way in I need to a lot to think about it. We have to do a Twitter poll or something get the people going Oh, too much gang let me tell you something we're out there on the road Do you self-favorite come out and see the boys? Yeah Yeah gang. We'd love to see it could be anything else for him guys We're all over the road like you said the tickets are moving very quick in most markets to get those tickets We fucking love everybody. We love seeing you out there. It's a good time. We'll see you there. See you soon. See you next week

Love is peace