Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Hostile Takeover! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: January 1, 2026

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for HOSTILE family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Here you, here you, are all our friends to the north up there in Canada? The boys are crossing the border and we're coming over, baby. Yeah, January 9th, we're going to be at the Queen Elizabeth Theater in Toronto, Ontario. Limited tickets left, get them while they last. Then we got Austin, Tampa, Chicago, Indiana, Nashville, Pittsburgh, and Cleveland. All tickets available at RUGarbage.com. We'll see you's on the road. See you, Hoosers.

Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are Classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that out of the group to be classy. Yeah.

Her to just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day from the Dempsey Group headquarters here at Toonies. she's off to her swim class web feet she's got did you know that for her she moves through it like a seal my underlink is coming at you from across the table he was the CEO of are you garbage now he's a junior vice president on the tody account after the hostile takeover that happened over to break uh-huh Kevin James Ryan everybody what up this is all this is all you can refer to him as just Kevin Kevin

from accounting. I did not like this. This is all news to me. You got your fresh DemC gear group on. I warned you. I see they only went up to Forex. We'll have to, we're going to have to talk to the big dog to see if there's any room in a wardrobe budget.

He's right over there. Okay, well, listen, I don't know. Listen, I don't know my responsibilities anymore, but shout out to the, you know. I'm going to need the Instagram passcode. I don't even have that. What? That's fun. knew he wasn't going to play along.

I don't have it. I got two words for you. Silver Parachute. Is it okay that you want? No? I got another word, Operation Dumbow drop. Gang, shout out to the... Shout out. Thanks for tuning in.

As always, make sure you rate, you, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available on... I was going to say Netflix. Not Netflix. We were not part of that deal. However... Dempsey Group couldn't have fucking pulled that off, could that? Well, we had to wait until get you out.

And now we're making a move. Yeah, you guys are going to be on fucking... Ladies and gentlemen, Ted Sarandos. You guys are going to be on Toobie. Tubey's making moves, by the way. But they're putting too many commercials and they're getting greedy. I know. Two with the day, one of six.

That's what's happening to you're getting too greedy. You're fucking, you partner with the ops. That's what you do. You're sold out. You're best friend of 15 years. You drop this shit on me now? By the way, you're going to start driving up to Connecticut to record the show. You got to cut the greatest, too.

Ryan, please bring in what we have for our good friend here. Diesel Oh Diesel's got one too I got the whole team against you You got to put it on Okay Thank you Ryan

Or should I say Director of Operations Sure The Demsie Group has officially Taken over Classic private equity comes in Fucking made in Vietnam This was an American podcast

Made in Vietnam And the brand is Port Arthur This thing's falling apart in my hands. This is what you get. You sold out to the Far East, and I don't like that. Saudi money. Yeah, right. All right.

Oh, I'm not happy about this. Yep. What size is? It's a large, though. I am a little petite guy. You're doing all right. You're going to need it. You're back out there, hitting the pavement.

You're out. I'm the CEO. I'm the CEO. I'm doing door-to-door podcasting. I'm knocking on the door. Hey, everybody out there. Unfortunately, you can't be using that. That's not bad, though.

It's nice, isn't it? You got it? Oh, you got one, too? Obviously. Of course he's got one. It's whacked. I hate this. You got to embrace Wall Street.

No, we're Main Street, baby. Main Street. Now Wall Street, Main Street. You let, you let corporate greed take over. This is why you were never allowed. According to the papers I just signed. We're Wall Street. Might as well be written in blood.

Look it. look great. They look really good. Couple of things. Tribe hit me. Company, man. I'm a finance bro now. I don't hate that.

We all are. I used to be a podcast, bro. We got to go to Raul's. We got to start doing the Hamptons on the weekends. I'm going to go to Fire Island. I was a lot of old carpool out there. I'm going to go do my own thing for the weekend. I'll see you guys on Monday.

Yes, sir. Papers were signed yesterday. I listen. You don't, I'm going to, I mean, this, this, this happened at a lot of different levels. Who else did you tell about this? Huh? What? I talked to the money guys.

Shokes. I don't think you. Simmy D. Everybody, this goes deeper than I thought. They all got a piece. You know, you're not allowed to sign anything. Yes, I am. No, you're not.

I'm going to have to. This is going to, this is going to fold. This is going to, we're going to court. I had you declared insane. Look at that hair line. Wouldn't that drive you crazy? That's what you're doing. Talk.

This guy's nuts. Walking around with a haircut like that, huh? Fucking jerk golf. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to give you two choices. Ryan. You start playing ball.

Start playing ball. I'm the kippy now. I got some questions from the listeners. Uh-huh. I'll need to borrow your computer. And a couple of dollars. They got me lever. It was all stopping.

Not a dollar change. Now everybody's got access to that petty cash. What did you get out of this deal? I want to know how ripped off you got. You think the Dempsey Group just sees your fat, dumbass and thinks, you know what? Let's give him a fair shake. These guys are bloodsuckers. I've been protecting you this whole time from the harsh outdoor world.

I'll tell you how it all went down. Uh-huh. Okay. I was up at a cigar bar, an old Greenwich. Mind of my own business. Okay. Who sits down beside me? Lou Sr.

He says, he's keeping you under, man. He's keeping you under. And I said, you know, a lot of comments about my weight. You know? Doesn't think that I'm an artist. So he took me to a beautiful corporate steakhouse,

Cheesecake Factory. I had the chicken bar, medium rare. And what temperature would you like on that? What? Oh, man, these guys are good. You got your sick of shit. Signed the papers over with E. coli. No tomato sauce.

Just butter noodles, please. And if I see a flake of green stuff in there, I'm going to lose it. Yeah, bought me a Sunday. Okay. Brought out the paperwork. You don't even know what you signed. He had some compromising photos of me. I got a chick-fil-a-drive-thru.

Also, all jokes aside, how much of these vests cost us? They're way too expensive. Listen, I love a good bit, and we've spent a lot of dumb money on a lot of dumb, stupid bits. Give me a ball, but diesel, what do these run us? His dad's paying for. What gives you shit? We all got new corporate cards and stuff. We're chilling, man.

Yeah, they saw you coming from my life. Half day Fridays. We got to start playing golf, though. We don't even work Fridays. You got us come in. You got us come. I have a straight, listen, you've been around. I have a strict no Friday's policy.

That's for the gumon. You know what I mean? Goomeres. Now we've got to come in 9 to 12. We're doing half days. Like, you turned us into corporate shrills, chills. 50 hours a week. I'm sorry.

What? 50 hours a week. Jesus, we're working 4'10s. Little Kipparino's now his baby, by the way. God damn it. You fucking screwed the pooch. No, it's going to be good for it. No, it's not.

When has corporate takeover ever been good? It is. I'd rather, I'd rather taking that salty money if I knew this was going to happen. Hey, we've got to talk real quick about what's going on in the Hong Kong market. You got to do the news of the weather. Well, I mean, listen, all jokes aside, I now get why so many of these finance pros wear these vests. A vest is cool. They suck you in.

Vest are cool, and they cover for, like, a chubbier guy. Oh, yeah. It's like Kevlar. Oh, yeah. You know, because, you know, you wear a hoodie or something like that. You hide your lumps. And this does it, but in, like, a rich guy way. We have dinner with the boys from Lehman Brothers tonight at Quality Italian.

Oh, you're more of a seaman brother again. Also, this is embroidered. This ain't fucking screen printer. Dude, I spared no expense. This looks like... Of your money. This looks like four custom jobs, too. We didn't buy these in bulk, or did we?

I'd rather... I don't know. I got 7,000 of these things. Sitting in the lounge. Damn. Dempsey spelled wrong. No, it's not. I forgot to get over for your mom and dad.

They would have loved that. They would. They got enough cash. Fucking these rat fucks come in and steal. I have a fucking small, small, I'm a fucking American small business owner. You got to change with the times, man. Nah, man, you screwed us. You got to change with the times, all right?

We needed corporate money. No, we did not. We did. We run a very nice business. It also comes with a couple of Blackwater contractors. They're outside. Russ and Tony. Yeah.

Exceals. He sits on your side? Team not. They're probably making sure we don't run. Keep us in here. You said you were going to have Mr. Dempsey's money. That's why we're working Friday. They come collect.

Well, you pushed it. Your shares have been diluted. Mine have gone up. Undiluted. So I'm, you've been undiluted. No, I'm undoluted. Oh, man. Hey, I'm fucking.

I'm out. Regular Mark Cuban sandwich sandwich, you are. Also, we're buying the Sixers. Corotchi's out I ever tell you I saw him in a Bentley On a way down to Atlantic City See don't you want to be that guy

We just got to play ball How did Pat Carochi make all his money It's uh Medical shows Jims Yeah Crochies Plus he wrote that hit song operator

That Jim Corrooge Bad Bad Bad Leeroy Brown A McDonnellton family That's Pacroach Who my first acting teacher George Palaine RIP was a godfather to his son.

Wow. Yeah, he was best pals with Jim Croce. They both lived in an apartment building in, I think, Villanova, when Crocee was working construction, and he would hear him writing songs. He heard him write operators. This news vest has been brought to you by the Dempsey group. This is what happens when non-comedians take over.

I'm obligated. Mr. Dempsey enjoys classic rock. We also have to go to the sphere to see the deaden company. Oh, I can kill myself. I'll kill myself right where I see. John Mayor's pretty good, huh? Yeah, he's all right. Shout out to John Mayor.

Very talented. This is what you're doing? Now you're shouting out fucking John Mayor? What have you become? I have to. What have you become? I have to. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

No. Oh, it's time for the Quiznos wrap-up sports report, everybody. You guys like your subs? Eat it? Run them through the oven. You're like rooting an Italian ogie? Quiznos. Nah, they had a chicken carbonara that was...

I know, you hated. I'm porky. tang that I've never tasted in my life. It got me in the, I mean, bad mayonnaise. Got me back in my jowls. Well, since we're here, we've got to take a stop by the corner office and say hello to the new CEO of RU Garbage. The rich get richer.

Nepotism is alive and well. Luke Dempsey. Mr. Dempsey. Boo. Yes, it is, my friend. He's fired. Boo, if you think I'm not fucking burning this thing to the ground. Yeah, that's not a good idea.

I got, well, yeah, I've been diluted. It don't matter. You see those guys at Condi Nash trying to put up a stink? I'm all up the door. We've got to play ball. I don't care. Just wait for the shareholder meeting. I'm deluded.

We're going to take you to veil. Your brain's a little diluted. That's what they do. They take you on one nice trip. They gave you a fucking cheesecake or something. And you sign you gave me the keys to the kingdom. It was Dolce Leche. Oh, you should have said something.

I got half of it in the car for you. That's really just a quarter. I took the front pile. Mason, I was stuck in traffic. Listen, you got to get over it. Tuddy was down. She got, whoa, she got a parachute that could choke a pig. Now, where do you, why do you think there is corporate money invested in this?

Because we're doing well. Yes, why not just do well on our own? Why let them? It's a new year. It's a new day. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's what it's all about, man. It's not, bro.

We got to go corporate. They saw you coming from a, do. Why do you think they took you out to Cheesecake Factory and not me? Huh? Exactly. Why do you think they cornered you? Why? Because they knew you to play a hardball.

You're being stubborn. I see the future. They wanted to whack you. No. I saved your life. You're like that little guy in 300 who's not allowed to be on the team. And then you fucking tell them out of fucking coming from behind and kill me. That's what you did.

Yeah, rat, find out that guy's name. Didn't they throw them off the bridge anyway? Yeah. You're about to. Yeah. Who's throwing me? off i got the seals outside rough you up you're nuts they're just make sure you tap dance i wish hans walked there with a little one on i should have got one for that'd be great

papa made him sign of marinara huh see this is these bad jokes are brought to you by the dumpsy group that was good ha ha ha ha ha ha it's good life track what are we doing beth page this weekend huh playing the links new golf now too yeah Francis sellus is our new golf advisor. Man, something, you know. Well, listen, I'm not going to go down without a fight. Listen, it was either them or GE. I had to make a decision.

Oh, GE. No. You never go private equity. That's fridge is always breakdown. I'm a Samsung, man. I got around by Comcast. Who is? GE.

No way. Yeah. A cable company budget. Wait, that's a plot from fucking 30 Rock. That was based on reality, you know. Really? Yeah. So Jack Donagie's real?

I get him to be the CEO. Hello, this Jack Donegay. That's just a way of... Listen, I don't know what to tell you. It's 2026. They shove your Baldwin. That's also your Batman and also your movie trailer guy. Damn.

This summer age fully starts as Alec Baldwin. Listen, I have to fight back a little bit. For the little man. I'm a fucking... How many small business owners we got out there? Yeah, right. Two pieces of property. You got three cars.

You got one car just sits in your driveway and don't do nothing. I don't have three cars. Yes, you do. I own one property. I see. that power wheels you got in the backyard i don't even have that for i don't have a power wheels if it was it'd be for my son because they're like two hundred dollars that's what i got it for christmas i ever tell you my first power wheels was used you see look at

that one of the silver spoon in your mouth i think i ever got a power wheels huh i had to hook a car battery up to a dense speed to my nipples i didn't want to but after a couple of shocks i liked it that's why i'm so twisted that keeps happening see that's something that shouldn't happen here under the the Dempsey group. Yes, see? Listen, they stripped the budget. It's on a, everything's being held up with duct tape now. And listen, I know what I'm doing.

Have I steered you wrong? Free lunches. Out. We got to pay for our own Chipotle. I've been paying for everybody's lunches this whole fucking time. I don't know if you're aware. This fucking free scholarship, you brought up. I got a corner office.

I got two weeks paid vacation down in Dewey Beach. You had more than that. You were the owner. You should have said something. Yeah. You were more of a room. I got to make out for me. I got to think about Patty.

What's going to happen to her? Uh-huh. She's old bag. Okay. That house just keeps going. I see the Dempsey Group's policies of the steamroll jokes, but sure. That Zillow price keeps going down in a house. Uh-huh.

I got to look out for her. She wants to move in someplace nice in her later years. She needs a knee replacement. You know? Yeah. But she wants to take acting lessons and singing lessons. Okay. And she wants to produce some demos.

So I got to do that for her. I had to make the deal, man. Okay. You put me my back up against the wall. I didn't do anything. Plus, you're mean to me. Let me join this button. That's what, yeah.

That guy thought he was going to get on the squad. Those guys were all good looking hot dudes. What do you? That guy was gross. That's what they did to you. Well, they lied to you. They gave you, they gave you every, they gave you everything you could ever, whore. You probably got a couple of whores.

You probably got some gold rings, some nondescript coins from that weird looking, it's something. Whatever that guy was. That guy was freaking. The king, Xerxes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, what was that guy's deal? That guy oddly...

Why was he so tall? What do you mean? How the fuck would I know that? I don't know. I mean, it's also not based on reality. I don't know if you know that. Well, you're fired. I wish we could turn the lights on.

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No mean balance required. Chime card on-time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. See chime.com for details. Well, listen, you know. It's the show as usual. It's not. I have to push back. It's not.

Listen, to the Army of Garbage out there, I'm going to fight for you. Not these fucking big man trying to line his pockets with this corporate fucking blood money. I'm not doing that. I'll fucking, I'll, Ryan D, you know how to wear cameras? We're going to pirate. We're going to, right, get a fucking master lock.

We're going to lock up the fucking studio. I'm going to send Luke on a fucking long walk. Ryan, could you come in here for a minute? I can buy, Ryan, what are you nuts? Ryan, can you come in here for a minute? He's wearing a Kippie's heating and cooling shirt. You son of a bitch! Yeah, we're back, baby.

Army of Garmy of Garmin. garbage take that Luke come on Luke right get over here mr. Dempsey I mean he's replaced he's already gone yeah he's good that guy I'm replacing him tomorrow get it on the camera get get look what he's where he knows the boys blurring it out the boys roll together we ride together we die together kippy for the kippies he didn't cool me for life that's not you're in a real company Demsie group at final cut no no you don't not anymore that's got out right he's all blurred Ryan beat him up I'm ducked tape to the chair I'm not wearing it's the whole goddamn episode.

I'm putting my foot down, baby. Do what you want to do. You do what you want to do. You're digging your own gravy. And we're back. We're back, baby. Happy New Year to everybody out there. Happy New Year, gang.

We fucking love you. Thanks for another great year in the books, baby. Yes. Wish everybody a happy, healthy New Year. This is dropping, I think, a couple hours before the bowl drops. Some people in England or Europe might be listening to this in a new year right now. Isn't that weird? And some people aren't.

TREaky. Talk about the date. What is it, the date line? No, international date line. Yeah, so I just fucking the date line. As opposed, I mean, do you think there's like a regional date line? How come they don't have international to catch a predator if they have international date line?

Huh? What do you doing? Those guys are freaks and it's encouraged over there. All fucking countries are all fucked up. Set on to age kids, they do old broads? What do you doing? women is 72 Anywho, I wanted to ask you this.

What, after you fucking, you sold off our hard work down the tubes for fucking cheesecake factory, which I do respect. 30 pieces of silver. That's what Judas got. Didn't that well. Yeah, fucking. Imagine Jesus showing back up.

What the fuck are you doing here? What are you bouncing bits? You're working religious material? What have they turned you into? I got a Christian show next week in Utah. I want to be Mormon? Huh? Christians in Utah.

Man, talk about behind enemy lines. Hey, good luck, man. Good luck trying to find a decent piece of corn beef in Utah. Listen, we can't be screwing around. We're on the clock here. There's another show coming in the film. No, no. Listen, I'm running this ship, the AYG way, the small business owner way.

We're not doing your corporate. Yes, we are. Jim Kramer comes in at noon to do mad money. I'm not dancing for your fucking corporate puppet string masters, okay? We're old school, Janice. Old school. That's old news, baby. You've lost touch with the common.

We're rigging the bell on Wall Street next week. Oh, see, now you like that, don't you? No, I don't. Why would I like that? We're going to go with some of the guys from down there. I got guys. I don't need, I got diesel. Those guys scored chicks.

All right, all this fucking corporate shell game, fucking shell corporation, pity pat, backdoor dealings. international blood affair all that aside we got a goddamn family episode we have to do some things will never change you're contractually obligated i'm obligated to the fans that's what i'm doing that's who we're always working for no no you've traded your you've traded in your your whatever to for something i'm sorry i'm very tired it's been a long year we get to do an episode of undercover boss too how to fuck you want to go undercover guy you think dude there's not a i mean you're a good actor this is chubaca he works here now there's not enough fucking makeup in the world

that make me think i ain't sitting here talking to you shit that we shouldn't we should we should we should cut with it'd be cool if you did that what if you came in as a new guy that we hired for what you think the boys would know look if you if he had him made up where is he is he gonna sit back here if i yeah like who emma who's the new guy you're a new uh editor that i hired That you hired? Yes. Then where am I when the new guy comes?

You're out of town. You're in Germany. I'm out of town in Germany. You went over there for October Fest. Okay. In January. Takes place September. Does it?

Uh-huh. Germans. Always lying. I keep you on your toes. They're planning. I'm plotting a lot of things. Hey, built the luf wafel under cover. They did it under the gliding.

They said it was a gliding club, but they're really scouting pilots. That's cool. I learned that at the Dempsey, retreat this weekend. Fort Myers, Florida. Man, they've been a nice time. Did they give you full health benefits? Because they've taken your funny bun.

Okay. Hey, don't. We're back. What do you got for me? Nothing. I don't like that. This is, I'm not reporting to you. I'm your boss.

No, you're not. No, you're not. No, you're not. Listen, boots on a ground out there. I'm still fighting for you. By the way, I had to pay a dollar for this. Yeah, that's what happens. We got to get you off this fucking grade.

You got to spend money to make money. No. Got to cut costs. See, that's what these guys are doing, to line his fucking pockets. Huh? So how many, so you can, so you can what? How many have another house in fucking old Greenwich? I think so.

Yeah. I want to connect them. That's what, that's what these fucking rats want to do. I made a big mistake. You're renting on a fucking apartment. Let's go. Big man's back! Take that Dempsey Group.

Big man's back. Big man's back. Let's go. Garbage Unite. Garbage Unite. Traff, cut out Luke. Replays him in a hot bra with big tits. I'm down for that.

See him. We're back, baby. Oh, you're all wrapped up. This guy stinks. He can't even make quitting look cool. Well, first expense, I broke my headphones. You can't quit. You're fired.

What? You're doing that to me now? Kippie's back. Just sign right here. Now the boys are back. Linked up. Yeah, screw you. Screw you and your rich.

Yes, dad. I don't fucking need that. You're all that. What'd you do? How did you get it through? You're like the world's worst fisherman. Every time I look over, you're wrapped up. Fish is opening you up.

Woo! That's a big one. Everybody comes out to the dock. All jokes aside, that's why you're not in charge. I've had several business calls People asking for me to try to sweet talk you And it would yield Mm-hmm

Yeah Not one of them brought a dollar Each one, each one I had to come out of pocket Which I'll happily do But That time share was a lock It'd be so funny This was all over the Instagram passwords

Can we do it? Huh? That was the first big fight Give me the fucking passwords I never said that You won I remember where I was No I was on 50

selective memory you remember we made love that night that was in the morning making sex low is the better um listen gang all this fucking corporate talks neither here another like i said we got a gosh darn family episode on our hands as you know when you join your old patreon at the greatest website in the world um you'll get to answer your garbage question on the air um let's see here this one's from antitutes loose cigarettes first time long time never have one red is it garbage if your dad owned one of those cashblower booths every family function ends with one person getting 20 seconds to grab as many ones as you can wow that's awesome that's sick as shit why would he have that i don't know you probably go let's see

what i mean if they're online i'm sure you can get one for like i got the cash to put it in there we should have guests do it ooh that'd be pretty sweet that's sick you get you get you get 20 seconds in the dollar booth? Man, it sucks. Put a hundred of sneakle one or two hundreds in there? That was always the big thing. Just a bummer. You really would have been Dempsey material.

You got great ideas. Yeah, ideas for us, baby. How much money, Luke? About two grand. What? Unless you want an inflatable one, which obviously. Fuck that. No, we don't want inflatable.

I'm not spending two grain. We don't have that corporate checkbook no more. Fuck. About $250. Listen, I don't think this guy was rolling around with a $2,000 thing. and only letting Maybe he got it for work. And only letting one person get in

with one dollar bill. We was letting one person get in for 20 seconds. Right. To grab one dollar bills at most. What do you think is in there? How many dollar bills? A hundred at most.

You think a hundred? Yeah, not that much. Huh. Didn't your mom do it? Yeah. I just bought a used car. You bought the Ford Taras. I might have been new.

But I remember, and they were like, for every dollar you grab, you get, I don't know what a hundred dollars. I forget the deal. You were mortified, right? I was fucking devastated I was up there like a stripper fucking dancing for dollars

like lady I know Liz I know you're a single mom at times are tough You were abandoned Do you ever see the mom twerking on the guy And the kid runs over and breaks it up Oh yeah Fucking beat his age I'd be fighting everybody

Every goddamn body Um You get back there That's sick though That's a lot of fun Especially if it's For kids Especially if it's like kids

put a 10 year old in there A little bit of competent I mean if you're like The uncles are getting in there To try to grab 15, 20 bucks But that's a good time I don't know I don't know how to slice it

A fucking if you can walk away With a couple bucks Is a 10 year old It's a good friggin time That's always it It's not even about the money It's just you get something Some

Wet your beat I would have to push back You should let everybody Not everybody but more than one kid Take a crack out of it Remember getting a five When you were a kid A Finsky

What are you nodded? that probably got a check yeah he really turned on the fucking Dempsey group you almost had me you can't control them the corporate corporate America can't control this fucking guy I got his signature that's all I need he's I do he don't think I he's what you have an X on a piece of paper big deal he wrote I love dick or something like that fuck you try to get me uh I still need to use the pool house this weekend though cooking meth put the tarpa

over the house. All right, let's see here. This is from Ambulance Chaser. Great name. $10 home, you never have one read. Are you garbage if you've been dropped off to school in a vehicle with tinted windows? That's a tough look. That is a tough, tough look.

Who's that Jody dropping you off from Baby Boy? I was dropped off in junior high in my neighbors. My neighbor lived right across from us, or not junior high in elementary school. At one point, the two of them and me and my brother all went to the same school. Right. Before kids. And our moms or like whatever, they would flip-flop sometimes and driving them to school or whatever. And one time our neighbor was driving us to school.

But in this older son's car, and he was probably like 21. The hell was going on there. What do you mean? I think it was just like in the, I don't know. It was just like. Her car's in the shop. Or just maybe it was like the driveway. It was like, I just pile in something.

Yeah. It wasn't. they were pretty not clad but normal it wasn't like out of trashy this what was the car a fucking red 90s like 1991 red Mustang like the 5-0 and it had red tint it had I never and I remember bragging when we got to school was it an robot or a septic car and I remember that we were like piled in the back so you got I mean that holds four people and you got four kids two of them got to be hot chicks and you got four which we were not and uh yeah i remember pulling up and like getting out of the backseat with the with the chan like falling out you know what i mean thinking i do think i was fucking vanilla

like you can tell me shit dog then dun dun da da dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun so player it's mr johnson to you i never that's a tough look it was always very um hit or miss to get in First of all, going to school, that's too familiar. I don't like getting in somebody else's car that early in the morning. Like another parent? I don't disagree. The way the mom smells in the morning, you know? I understand.

Weird, but I understand. I wasn't feeling it. Either my mom or my dad or the school bus or my brother. That was it. They're the only ones that were taking me over there to learn my educate. You know what I mean? Sure. Yeah, which.

I don't want to smell somebody else's lunch. You did so well. Never liked it. Never liked it. I understand that. I was a very, I was a very dropped off to school kid. Because half the time I stayed at my dad's, which was out of the school bus. I was in the district just a different school, so he would have to drive me anyway.

And then like... Lucky nobody reported you for that. I would have turned you in. I just had a school safety. That what you were? Oh, you've been a nark your whole fucking life? Good to know. Man, we're really learning a lot about it.

H. Foley this episode. Bit of a rat. Corporate Shill, Nark, fucking backstabber. That's what you are to me. Wait until my second page cover of Forbes comes out next week. Your second page cover.

I'm on the second page. I don't think that's the cover then. Ben Stiller got the first. I'm on the ninth page cover. Ben Stiller got page one for Stillers. What's that? Is it a soda? Ben Stiller's soda.

How jealous of you were that? Famous actor, Anna Soda, mogul. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Yeah. Not a lot of sugar. it either. They're really going to have one over the break. Talking about some Nix tickets

going together. Oh, very nice. You had it with him? What? What? Look, if we want a court side's Nick's Nix tickets, who would your call be?

Can you do that? Yeah. Really? I can get Nets, actually. I know. It's a step down. The Dempsey group. Man, see that?

Over promising under-deliver. Oh, yeah, no problem. It would actually be the New Mexican rink rats, but you get the fuck out of here I had to pooch on the line in two minutes you get me tickets You can't I tried I can't sit in my niece of swim meet too

Nets the Nets You got to perform at halftime But you're in That you don't mind What are you performing Wait what in your head right there What one of your skills was performing Because I don't think it was stand-up

What was it? Music? Bombing yeah of course I do a medley of Bruno Mars songs With Bruno Mars Uh huh Bruno Mars bars Guys, I'm tired

I'm sick Who can get you Nets tickets? My buddy What does he do? He's an agent What kind of agent? You're familiar with him Oh, that kid?

Yeah. Good kid. Good guy. How come he can't get Nick's tickets? Oh, dude, they're like fucking They're like 15 grand a clip Unless you're playing a garden. I see all the boys over there.

Yeah, because they're playing fucking venues owned by MSG. That's all PR. Huh. What spots do we do owned by MSG? Science Flitters? Only MSG you do comes in fucking A bowl of ramen, okay guy?

I'm here a wawap. I fuck that, a wawap. I see Sammy Moro there all the time. Yeah, the beacon and all those, a lot of the theaters are owned by MSG. So as a promo, they put you there and then pull you on the thing. Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's all fucking, you know. Who plays for the nets? We'll do the nets and we'll build you up to the next. Don't worry. I'm not going to a net game. Start you small. They got that weird-ass court. Stupid.

You know what's whack when they do the other color. You're like, whoa, whoa. What are we in Lithuania here? What the fuck? Watching with these wack-ass fucking free throw lines and shit? They're playing with the red, white, and blue balls. Yeah, what the fuck out of here? All right, let's see here.

This is a good one. This is from King Without a Castle, $10 homie, jammed up winner and all-around swell guy who has had one red. We fucking love you. Happy New Year, King Without a Cassette. Happy New Year, pal. Talk about a fucking just salt to the earth dude right there. Not a corporate shrew.

Not a question, but my old man, when asked if he had an extra SIG, would open the pack, look inside, and say, nah, this one only has 20. Shout out to the big O, he'd usually give one after the joke landing. That's a move right there. That's an old school smoker move. You'd run into those guys at like a wedding where there's some, you have some sort of familiarity where, like, you're both at a thing,

he's part of her side, you're part of his side. You both end up out there And he like, look, he doesn't He doesn't hit you with a hey, I'm Jim Jenkins He just kind of looks He's got this sick in the mouth Got a mustache with the smoke stain And he hits you with you like

A wedding cake on there Kind of like welcome cowboy There's like this like old school Nah, I'm just teasing Yeah, understood We're both out here together Fighting a good fight You know who's a real smoker

The guy that smokes with the lighter In his hand still Yeah They're doing that thing And they take a long time to light it Yeah My stepdad was like the real The real no-look guy.

You know what I mean? Like, hey, can I get one of them? He'd have the sig in the mouth, so he's like, eyes were cocked over so the smoke don't get any eyes and hand it to you. That means he didn't really want to give it to you. Nah, no, he was big. He was big sharing smokes? With everybody, anybody, everybody. Share heaters.

Yeah, he was like, yeah, come on in. The water's fine. Which I had as a heater guy, too. If someone's like, I shouldn't, I go, all right, I don't, you know. But when they did. You're always good with the smoke. Me too. I always give him away

You just never have them That's your problem I have a lot No you don't When a homeless guy I always give me In the history of the show You ever admit

That you were Always jammed up With heaters No Okay And now with the dumps your group I don't have to I have corporate lawyers

Behind me Take that Bill Morris Homeless guy I always give him two Talk about making a guy's night I mean here take two Yeah

Then they ask for the lighter There's no way He's not breaking that thing in 10 seconds That second one's not last in the first one That's going to go in his pocket full of stuff Oh yeah They keep the lighter

I ain't got that I have a napkin I can light on fire for you Yeah That's terrible What? Nothing Um It's commenting on my own

What's next? So you do the same thing with the mic You move it around Buddy my mic is never falling apart Ever we've done like See These kind of comments That made me make a

Want to stab me in the back Sell the company up from under me You got it I hate this narrative You better keep care of that mic You're not getting a new one Yeah what the fuck We already fucking

Radio out of town Yeah we did You and your Connecticut money Taking your Mayflower money How was it for like Well I mean a couple of days That you were what What do you offer me

You were the prettiest girl at the ball they really took you out they courted you like that didn't you yeah yeah uh-huh coke was a little stepped on but thought it'd be better finance guys uh all right let's see here um

real tight with the bag key bulbs only fucking brutal you keep you on a short leash i let you run dog yeah you do okay a little too much all right and we're back um all right this one from half tat, $10 hoagie.

This is great. I did this this weekend. When you get a case of water, do you take them out and place them in the fridge or do you rip a hole in the top just big enough for one bottle? Rip the hole. Poke a hole in my top. Rip the hole. Keeps them in place.

Man, that's like, that's never my intention. I always, I love a cold water. And when I have the energy and the time and I'm moving, they're all going in there. And that's like if I, if it doesn't happen right away, if I don't come in with the energy, I'm putting all this stuff away never last it never let it just never gets there but man i was fucking i was pulling out of warm ass water i hate warm water i was pulling warm ass waters why like room temperature water no but wait you didn't put it in the fridge no and i just had the top because i needed what i the baby we

come in something it's that hey i'll get that in a couple minutes i don't get to it's always the last thing to go in that's what i'm saying two hours three hours it doesn't last four hours i'm already two waters in and i ain't fun that ain't going in on a grocery store run The two last things to get brought into the house, the case of water, and that big ass bag of dog food. Go get the dog food from the car. Fucking Patty bust on my ass. I brought a fucking 16 bags.

You quit halfway. I mean, you didn't finish the job, though. What do you, leave the bag for her? Oh, your fat ass is going to start throwing fucking, I know you fucking. You probably left milk out there for the weekend. That's cold in wintertime. Fucking the Taurus didn't have heat. Um,

pairs driving me crazy. This is, this is a bit of a trashy thing that I'm in the, I'm currently in the midst of. Hmm. We were at the, we were, we're out in the burbs and like,

it's hard hitting that trash cycle of trash made versus when trash night is for us. You know what I mean? And, you know, we have a good support system if we, like, leaves the cans, a neighbor will bring them up or whatever, like stuff like that. You know what I mean?

Bring them up. Like, if we're leaving. say trash night trash is fucking Thursday morning i put it out Thursday morning or Wednesday night neighbors are big on that they don't want your trash cans out there for aesthetic reasons and also too because dude a trash can and one of those open wheel trash cans that's open the wind catches that shit i mean those but those big thick ones those they're like thick plants blow um but this is my dirt bag logic so i got i got a full Trash can in the garage, full.

I mean, I'm talking. Dipees. Dipies, food, everything. But it's so cold out. This is my logic. That kind of keeps it all, it's refrigerate. It's not smelly. Yeah, right?

I'll throw that in the summer. I can't do that in the summer. I take that to Wawa and I shove it in there. Hey, Dean's like, can you do that? I go, it's fucking Wawa. I spend enough fucking money at this place. These motherfuckers would be sucking my bowls. You hold up a coffee cup from the trash?

Just bought it. And also, too, I don't know if you know the ones at Wawa used, the trash canes just have a small openings. Now they're big openings that fit a big, they want the track. They don't want it, but they'd rather you do it than throw it on the floor. Something. Yeah. So we'll do that in the summer. I'm very good with keeping it one bag that I can get rid of.

Uh-huh. But I just got behind. And is that okay? It's refrigerated trash. It's aside from the house. It's not in the house. It's in a can, locked in the can, in the cold. That's a health code violation.

I'll shut you down for that. I'm not fucking, I'm not a commercial kitchen. Patty, I had a beef with her about this. Well, I'm not doing it. I had no option. What am I going to do? What is my other option at this point? Roll the trash can out.

What do you mean? You can't just leave it out there? For days before pickup? What's going to... We just said, you just said neighbors don't like empty trash. They don't have them. Also, no, I don't think you're allowed to just have your trash can out three days ahead. Who's going to come out and hit you with that?

Local ordinances. Really? Really? Huh. Which I'm currently behind my real estate taxes. Really? Property tax. Property tax.

I can't pay it online because there's, like, part of it goes there's a smaller ordinance that I'm part of that they do it or something. No kidding. And they, the Broad keeps hitting me up. You got my cell phone. I don't fucking got that. But I got to tell you, hey, Dutz. They're not going to let you in the public pool. this summer

I know I can't drive on the street just cut and do the neighborhood I'm going to play art ball roses look good yeah so like let's yeah no you I'm sure there's something

I would hear it it's a small enough that I would people would be upset we had a little snow down here not much but a little whatever at patties yes and she goes do me a favor

roll the trash cans out and leave it out there because the guy they were coming that night and I was taking the trash out of the kitchen and this fucking thing's empty there's like two bags in there

I was like you don't need to roll that out it's not full I think now you have to roll it out it's not full is just because of the snow why didn't you want to do it just it wasn't full just out of principle

no I think it plus I had an English muffin in a toaster yeah okay I got down to brass tacks real quick you folded under you folded under question you don't need to do unless the trash can is full i don't this i disagree with that a hundred why why one okay i know listen you're gonna push you're gonna you're gonna

varmints you don't operate in the most active way all the time no fair enough the good offense is a good defense i play d yeah listen if there's trash trash goes out on trash night if it's not snow in if it's not what a if it's like if there's some sort of hurdle other than just walking it out it was cold yeah that's got to go listen this is coming from a guy who's got the trash can isn't full i would take the trash can out of the house if it's not full no but that's a ha it's different why is it different now you're just what do you mean it's a hundred percent different why because one's going from inside the house to out of the house and then out of the house away what do you think luke yeah take them out shut up tell you're

That he can s my D from behind, okay? I take that. I'm pissed. You steal my company out from under me, you rap bastard? And then I see him at a show. He shakes my hand. Fuck out of here, Lou. Better call him, sir.

Fuck that. He can have his $1,200 bucks back. That's what it was? $1,200 and cheesecake. The Cheesecake Factory Bill came out of the $1,200. You only got Danny Ryan up there hanging his ass off the fucking balcony, like Shug Night? You're nuts. We don't play.

Listen, we don't. That's who I should have dealt with. I should have sold the company to Danny. Yeah, bring it in, bring it. Yeah, that's what you're doing. Yeah, that's a great idea. Listen, if you don't, my family, my dirt bag family has been running construction companies for generations, bad, poorly, taxes, no taxes. Put your broke air conditioners in here.

Yeah, low. If you think they would just go, oh, company got stolen. Nah. Forklift drives through the back by the room. Sorry for the hairs. Would you ever go to the dump? If there was, listen, and this is how I know I'm nuts, my dad. We were big on.

If I got a couple drinks in me. No? What's that? I don't know. Take a shit. Oh, I didn't know what you meant. The kid got it. Yeah, I would love that because I don't like.

the fact that I keep falling out of this trash schedule another thing I do is like we collect there's a lot of stuff we've you know as the house is a work in progress furniture stuff like that so we do uh I love a 1-800 got junk there's no better service than that yeah dude they show up I have just a pile of shit in the garage they don't give a fuck what it's in nah that now throw it in there

dude I had these two guys are super sweet they're great franchise their franchise it's a very good franchise to own they say they want that feedback though they want the feedback and dude they're nicest dude they sweep up like they sweep up messes that was like already in the garage just like garage leaves and cobwebs and shit they come in i think they're cool with it because they're you really can't stand on airs when they roll in there's only one thing they're doing they're seeing you at your worst they're seeing you at your worst you're jammed the fuck up yeah you know what i mean and you're throwing it out so it's not like well you have to take the shelves

out and do that shut up they throw it in that basket and it's fucking out the door yeah they don't ask like if we were doing it right if you were coming over and I had to get rid of a bunch of stuff in the garage it was like on shelves and boxes you don't mess up to you I would no I meant to

broil you not you be cool with our beers and hang out I like to smell dirty diapers um you're talking shit to the guy it's like he's hoarding trash in here I don't know what he's doing um I want the $100, Chunker. Yeah.

I get the van roll out with that. All, later. Later, Baldi. I'm riding bitch in between the two of them. Can I say that? Yeah, I think so. You've said worse. What the fuck you're talking?

I say, bitch, you're crazy. Corporate now. Everything you say is beep. Beep, beep, beep, beep. What was I saying? They, like you said, they don't, there's no, like, oh, we're going to take it off here, just go through.

It's like, fuck it. It's like they're ruining it. It's like they're destroying evidence. They don't give a fuck. It's like Enron, dude. They're just shredding everything. They're lighting shit on fire as you're pulling away. I love that.

That is a great. Everybody that works there is fucking so overly nice and professional. The point where you go, all right, I get it. But then you go, no, this is very sweet that you're taking this much care. Yeah. Shout out to him. Have you ever been to the dump? Yeah.

Oh, guys for work. Work? Wildwood, we hit the dump a lot. Really? Yeah, because it's the same thing If you're leaving for the weekend If you go down on Monday What's the dump in wild would look like?

Where is that? Over by Tommy Cassidy's house I'm not even fucking with you Right by Tommy's He's house I think you say right at the edge of the water No And they run it To dump trash down in a shore

Down the shores You know they How can it be in on the It's not a landfill Oh, okay It's like just a bunch of dumpsters Oh, all right And they make sure you got to show a car to make sure you live.

They don't really, but they, you know, they make sure you're not. They charge you? No, like if you are a resident or whatever have some sort of property or house or whatever, you're allowed to part of your taxes, I guess. There's some old timer there. He's never asked me. I always fight in my head that he's going to ask me. And he's going to go, hey, you don't today.

I can't call it. He just let you in. To get a cushy, sweet, sure job is tough. Sure. Not that many. Not that many year-long ones. You know what I mean? You've got a sweet gig down there in the summer.

We were big on dump, big on scrapyards too. Fucking calling different scrapyards, seeing what the fucking copper's going for. It's going for this here. It's going for that day or dry. How, okay, well, that one's an extra 30 minutes away. You're driving out all day, having them come out. Big dumpster family, too.

Is that cash? They gave you for the copper? Yeah. You guys whack that up in that truck? Yeah. Yeah. Your dad used to give you a little piece? Yeah.

Nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. What was the biggest haul you ever got from that? A lot. Like, 500 bucks? Oh, significantly more than that. Really?

Yeah. No kidding. We did it one. There was whatever, yeah. There was one job of a client that was going, not going out of business, was moving. Uh-huh. And, uh... So he ain't going to see it.

Now. You're supposed to give them some, too? Thank you. Everybody, everybody got their... The guy down at double wildwood. Everybody got their beaks wet. Really? It was a very healthy summer for everybody.

Really? Five grand. What a... From one hall. Oh, yeah, it depends. It depends on what you were scrapping that day. Huh. So those crackheads really know what they're doing.

Yeah, I mean, they're playing. I mean, if they got the... How much copper are you things in, like, one old house? Like on, like, Freeland Heisen Avenue, Newark. Okay. I may have started a sopranos again. Sure, I picked up on that. Probably not that.

that much. Not that much. I mean, it's only, it's only, uh, $1,200. I don't, I don't know what it's going for. Uh, yeah. It used, I remember, what's it, what's, look, copper one, what's copper one going for a pound? Two, three bucks, maybe? I have no idea. They're saying a rundown house, you can get about 200 to 400 pounds and then. Of copper? Yeah. Whoa. That seems a lot, but I don't know. Defer to my man. No, yeah. I mean, I'd say it's 200 bucks. That's 400 bucks? It's about 390 to 450 per pound. There you go. Copper one right now.

Copper one. $450. But all that copper might not be copper one. If it's painted, if it's got solder on it, if you got it. So then you get really fucking cut the joints off. You fucking go, you just whack out the fucking... Make a bowl out of that. I did.

That was the first bowl he ever made. Was copper? Copper? That can't be good for you. Nah, and I remember this kid Brett was like, that's how you get arthritis in your lungs. I'm like, we're just fucking 12 years old. How do you know that? And you can't get arthritis in your lungs.

I didn't know. That's what he told me. My dad caught me. Get emphysema, O-C-P. C-O-P-D, C-O-P-D. Okay. NYPD, L-A-P-D. Berries and cherries.

Yeah, but, yeah, I don't know. We were, yeah, it was a very cash-heavy son. This is fucking 20 years ago. Very cash-heavy summer. Very nice. But then we did everything. A lot of bacon-neged cheese. You did all the.

Stained-lite steel? Did everything. Like, you know, whatever, like, whatever. We'd be going for a haul. So you had like a, we had a dump. A dumpster for, like, trash, and a big dumpster for, like, I don't know, whatever, like, just generic metal was. I forgot. I don't remember.

I was on a copper team. Then the coils. All the coils from the refrigeration unit should cut out. There's all fucking... You don't keep the refrigerators? What do you mean? The refrigeration units. You don't keep them?

No. Huh. Or, like, all the air conditioning units? Don't you just reuse them? You cut out the coils? No. They broken? No, the building was old. Why wouldn't you keep the refrigeration?

is like to keep the the air conditioning units and then you put them in another place I don't know no it's on the roof of the place what are you gonna fucking you're gonna get a crane oh you're gonna put it in the back of a fucking flatbed truck drive it up to put in a 20 year old fucking air conditioning unit on a new building who the fuck wants to do that you put it in your house

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hair's all blown back holy shit in this motherfucker you cannot lose that room you gotta fucking got a rooftop unit on a condo you got a rooftop unit on a condo that you're sitting there 14 hundy pushing at that sick bowl getting high shit I'm sitting there in a jacket

it's August I'm getting high as shit my little fucking oneie That's great Um Yeah that was uh that was when we we my I fell I ate hot I ate two hot dogs and red Gator ate every day for five days a week for the whole summer.

That'll give your arthritis in your eyes. Dude, talk about too much artificial flavors. Uh-huh. Holy shit. It was so good, dude. We take an order. By the end of everybody knew it, and we just go in

and, uh... Your burps are packed with electric lights? It was a, it was like a bodega, like a candy store bodega, but he had boiled hot. He had a... Dude, we would go in. It was an Asian guy. And I would walk in and he would just fucking pull open a bag of buns.

And you knew we were doing 10, 12. It was me. It was four of us. Deesies. Everybody did two Deesies. Great. He sat around an old, it was an empty warehouse. So we sat around and put the conference room table.

We took down and had like, we'd sit around that. Like this big executive board thing. Counting your copper money. Getting heartburn. First time I left the garage door open and people started looking at what we were doing. My dad said, fucking close that door. You don't need everybody in your business. I said, okay, I don't know what we're doing here.

That kid's on his third hot dog. Holy shit. That's too much red dye. All right. All that, all, you know, non-ferrous metals aside. Got business to take care of. This is a relative, we relatively touched on this. This is just a pro move.

This is from Big Buck Repairman. Ten-dollar Bose, I never had one read. Is it trash to stop by the auto parts store to clear the check engine light on the way to trade in your car? I love it. Sick. Fuck them. Let them figure it out. That's the move.

Yeah. All clear. I'm sure they can hook it up to a fucking... Diagnostic machine. Yeah, computer now at this point. Tell you what's wrong with it. Yeah, right away. Oh, yeah, the engines failed?

Let me a favor. Did you clear that? Oh, you reset that. You like hot dogs? A hard reboot on this one. Think this piece of copper. All right, let's see. This is a big one for the big guy.

Me? Yeah, this is... That's what it says? No. Oh, okay, man. You know, if I got one or two addressed to me, it wouldn't kill me. It's all Kippy. They're not talking to me specifically.

They know who it is. Okay. Your jealousy is what's going to force you to sell the company up from under me. I know. My arrogance. You're a tortured soul. I wanted to turn us into a black box theater. Do some of my work here.

Dempsey Group said it'd be something in for me. For me, Kippie. You do do work here. We were not interested in that. Yes, thank you. I was at the bottom of the contra. I wrote that in. The black box theater is going to be a handshake deal.

All right. Where's wrong, go for it? You know what I had the thought of? What? This is stupid and this is how you go broke, but I'd like to try it. Okay, I'm in. Right? What if we did a, you know how the social clubs are big?

What if we did a Tootty's? What's a social club? I mean like a... Like it's a Soho house. Tudy's house. Oh, like a membership. Membership. You're not talking like what they got out there in like Brooklyn.

are queens what's that you know those kind of social clubs no espresso and wiretaps guy who's obsessed with the sopranos no not everything has to do with the mob we live in reality we should be checking this place for bugs too yeah check your check your hair all right guy hey trap at me um yeah we can rent out a place make it toadies people can come to town they can visit tootty make a couple of bucks okay all right guy does not get it i'm trying to process it Does it look like this? It can look like whatever you want to. It's like a bar, but a membership.

Yeah, it's a place. There's a, it's a place to go and hang. It's a social club. Okay. Let's do it. All right, you know what? Your tepid response on it has made me. I'm just trying to understand it.

I don't know. Okay. Well, who's going to pay for a membership if they're only here once a month or one time? It's not fucking 10 grand a month here. The Dempsey group would love to get in the Kevin Ryan business. See, see, if you supported my ideas, it didn't drag your feet and try to do Oh, a social club. Oh, yeah, that's awesome.

And try to do poetry, inject the fuck in from time and time. It wasn't poetry. Slam poets, different. It's poetry to a beep. Remember that got popular in the 90s? What? That kind of shit. Uh, death, jazz poetry was big.

Not Def Jam. Okay. All right. You are clearly spiraling. You're in your head to wait too much. Let's, can we ask the question? It stunk, too. What?

Not Def Jam. Def Jam was a force. That's Def Jam is a force. You know what Def Jam? No, the Def Jam poetry. But this was like in San Francisco. Like what Mike Myers did in I married an axe murderer. It was like coffee shop.

Coffee shop culture back then was so fucking lame. It was the end of the grunge. It got real weak. Big. Blame. Okay. The lip biscuit came along You were shook things up

I love like the lamest guy in the world Calling something else lame is like insane Yes, it's lame Oh, is it guy who lives at his parents And will again five more times I only have one sock on right now I swear it out You're sitting here fucking talking shit on people trying

I couldn't find any socks I swear one I switch him halfway to the day It's on his cock That's cool I can't do that fall right off. Red Hot chili peppers did that. They came out to a show one time and they all had their

noodles covered with socks. Were there balls tucked in there too? You took the ball. No one's got what are you talking about? A couple of fucking tube steaks. All right. I've heard Flee's got a big pee. You should read that and get you guy quarterly?

You could use a brushing on those choppers though. Um, this go ahead. This one's I'm diverting this one to you, I'm saying. Please. As you're the, you're the king of the authority on this. And I'm sure your answer is going to come in a little skewed due to certain afflictions you have.

This is from probably gay, definitely drunk. I just pick my nose, sorry. Okay. But answer your question. I'm always open. I'm always here for you. My door's always open for you, Kevin. Okay.

That wasn't a question. Oh. You said to answer your question, my door's always open for you. You'll wipe the bugger on your pants. That's probably going to end up on my Dempsey jacket, which I'm okay with. Those things are going back. I know. Return them.

That was a great bit. Got to give it to you a great bit. Too expensive. This $10 home and ever have one read, what's the earliest acceptable time to eat ice cream as an adult? Huh. And give your indulgent answer? And give, like, what you, the gentleman answer that you know is true.

Does that make sense? After breakfast. right after breakfast is it coffee ice cream you have that right when you wake up I've had I'm not yeah I know what you've had we can all guess that

what do you think the acceptable time it's like what if you were somewhere where am I you're at a restaurant okay for brunch 11 o'clock guy gets ice cream is that crazy

at what time are you I'm having a meal first, though, right? Hold on, this isn't you. Guy, relax. I don't know why I'm saying guy so much. You see someone else eating ice cream. What time for you? Let's do that.

Live in that world. All right. There's too many other questions. I'm at brunch. Who am I with? You're at whatever time it is. Who am I with? The Dempsey group.

No. Forget those guys. You guys are loop. She's looking at me. I'm going to be with... You're by yourself. It's a brunch? Uh-huh.

What am I, a loser? I'm not even brunch by myself. Okay. I don't. I'll do breakfast by myself, but not brunch. Okay, you're at breakfast. Okay. This is a huge difference in when you eat flapjacks.

I don't really eat pancakes. I'm a waffle man. Everybody knows that. The Dempsey Group knows that. That's what I got me. What? You look over. Or let's put it this way.

At what time do I, Kevin, order an ice cream and you go, whoa, that's early. My honest answer? I don't think there is a time. I'd be cool with it. I'm not saying you'd fucking yell at me. Can you answer the question? Okay.

There's some sort of numerical time. Can I just ask you a couple questions? Have we had a meal? Or are you getting that? Like, I go to, I sit down, I order an omelet, which now, just so everybody knows, my go-to omelet, go-to scrambled eggs, feta, scalyons, and mushroom. It's a great combination.

Cook soft. I like it cooked soft. But it made me sick yet. It's probably that seven of them. I hate that. I think it was the ice cream after. That's what I'm saying. Are we having a meal first?

Are you just ordering ice cream for breakfast? Both scenario. Okay. If you're getting it after breakfast... I'm going to kill myself. If you're getting it after breakfast, I'm okay with whatever time you get it. If you get it for breakfast, it's got to be after 11.

But I would push back that's not breakfast. After 11, if your first meal of the day, you have to choose, there's lunch menus out at that time. Regardless of what your... They don't serve breakfast at 11 at an airport, so... Regardless of what your cuisine is, whatever you have for the first meal of the day is considered breakfast. Whether that's a turkey club, a bowl of great nuts. I push back on that. What answer would you like?

That wasn't, first of all, that's not the question. You're stated another fact that I'm pushing back on that. Okay. Ask me the question. You haven't answered the question. that I've asked you. Ask me the question. So you're saying there's no time?

No, I'm not saying that. Okay, what are you saying? You cannot have ice cream before 9.30 a.m. Okay. But I have. Sure. But it was always left over from the night before. Okay.

My answer is... I like that fudge brownie from Ben and Jerry's. As an adult. It's got my number. It's got to be some sort of vacation. and noon. Very good. And that's even early.

Vacation. You got to be somewhere and they have ice cream cone. You go, yeah, or the kids are getting it on the beach. You go, you know what, I'll do a fucking... But I mean, you can't... I mean, anything before... The fact that your number was 9.30 seems very early.

Very early. What if you get up at six? That's still early. Oh, my get up at six. Oh, shit. I walked right in there. Ooh, we. Uh, yeah.

Yeah, anything else to that, as an adult, seems early. But, hey, I'm not here to judge. For a guy who has a D.C. early in the morning, you're throwing a lot of shade. I would say a D. I'm just kidding. I love D.C.s. A D.C. and ice cream are nowhere near each other in any sort of way. Luke, what are your thoughts?

I vacation's a key factor in this. I would say 4 o'clock if it's a weekday. Holy shit. What are we in the Army? So like, 9.30, that means you're driving to work and there's a world where you're eating Ben and Jerry's ice cream is insane. That's wild.

I'm sorry. I got to, that's insane. If it can replace your coffee, it's too early. The idea of getting to work and having that little, oh, that's ice cream. Yeah. Is crazy.

Or you're like at your desk and someone's like, hey, Henry, you know, do you have the TPS? And you turn around and you're fucking, you're, you're, you're, You're malling out of it. I'm talking on it, but it's big. Still read the numbers. All right, we got to wrap it up.

What a fun one. Gang, happy 2026 to everybody. We hope you have a safe and happy year. We love you. We're so excited about everything we got going on this year. We're going to be doing some weekends on the tour. Big tour this year. We love you.

That's all you got on what we're doing this year. And you looked at me to confirm. Gang, we fucking love you. And we'll see you next time. Yeah.