Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - How To Ball On A Budget! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: September 25, 2025

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to https://RocketMoney.com/garbage today. Mando: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get 20% off + free shipping with promo code GARBAGE at https://shopmando.com Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Calling Seattle, Portland, San Fran, Braia, California. The boys are coming west, baby. We're taking the Oregon Trail out to the left coast, and we're coming to see you. Grab the squad and come on out. Yeah, if you're a dirtbag, we need you there, baby. All tickets available at are you garbage.com. See you there. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage,

the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Gurbidge. Oh, yeah. It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians, and we find that it to be classy.

Yeah. They're just a big old piece of trash. Garbage, garbage, garbage. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootie's in a new edition. She's up in her room playing a little guitar hero. Okay. shredding it.

Uh-huh. Melting a couple faces. That's right. Mike Hose is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He's an international businessman and did not turn his ringer off. That wasn't me. That was me.

Luke. Kevin James Ryan, everybody. I thought it was me and denied it while still thinking it was me. By the way, that was going off in a meeting yesterday. Bing, Bing, Bing, can they hear that? Maybe. Really? They work for me.

These bums. You talk about me. Why don't you friggin do something? You talk about me in meetings. This guy, you're bad. Things are going on. Let me introduce myself, then defend myself. Shout out to you, gang.

Make sure you rate and you subscribe on iTunes. Yeah, you're all good kids. Full video available on YouTube. As you know, full video available over there on Spotify as well. And the boys are climbing up to frigging. Climbing at charts. Then obviously the greatest website of all time. www.

www. com. Sajari Garbage. You go over there. You get all that bonus content. And the boys are hitting the freaking road. Are you a dirtbag? It's a matter of days now.

Who lives on the West Coast, baby. I'm talking Lala Land, very limited tickets there. Get me out of here. San Francisco's second show out of, then only one show in Portland and Seattle. Get those frigging techies. I got to get up to the Pacific Northwest and the West Coast. I got to stretch my legs a little bit.

You can do that here. Breathe some fucking air. Some of that fresh pine air, the Great Lakes. That's what I need. A little bit of that Portland H. I'm talking about a little dust off. I ain't talking about hand bone either. Yeah, this is what we call a family episode

Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies Just the way we like it Before we get that started We gotta take a little cruise by The old corner office and say hi to Mr. Luckey Patuki The son of the owner of the Dempsey group Allegedly Allegedly

Right? Not on paper Sure Your father owns the Dempsey group On paper alley own the subsidiary So we had to bring you in Because he put the screws to us Said you got to give my kid a job

Right? That's kind of how this is all went down. Maybe. You got jammed up, had to sell a little piece of dutty's to the Dempsey group. They bought in. I think they've owned it from the whole. This whole thing's just sci-up.

They planted this in our brain years ago. And now it's just all coming to fruition. I hear it's on a dog's name. I got some I want to get into. I've been tagged in this video a lot, which I was not aware of. Say I wasn't there. I didn't. I know it was over there on TikTok.

I'm not. Big on TikTok, but I downloaded it, take, you know, and I must have been... I thought you'd do pretty good over there with your channel. No. Your little kippy channel there. I lost it and had to restart it, and then I... You still do your beer reviews over there and stuff? I mean, no.

I just... What? You mean that thing I did six years ago? No, I still don't do that. Thanks for checking in, though. Still doing that acting thing? Hey! Hey!

rude heard the production was pushed just saying hey um i uh so this video i was tagged in very much as you know i'm the king of the boards down air in wildwood new jersey yeah that's right um i'll defend that thanks i don't know why we're adversaries at the moment we're not adversaries i said i would defend that i was tagged in this video that takes place in wildwood new jersey and i'll just let the video speak for itself i don't want any setup the guy does a pretty good job narrating it. Okay. It's him and his girlfriend, and I guess they're down in Wildwood for the weekend. Luke. Look at her growing down in the hotel. Budget Betty.

Pause for a second. She's cooking. What are those? It's chicken breast. She's got marinated chicken breast in a motel cooking them. In the air fryer. In the air fryer. Huh.

And I'm pretty sure. A lot of that stuff's dripping on the carpet of the motel room, if I had to get it. Why are they that color? She got a little seasoning on them? Yeah, she gets into the seasoning. She gives you a little Martha store rundown on the seasoning. All right. Hey, we brought the air fire to Wildwood.

And the Vicodin. Holy slow draw. There is a certain level of dirtbag who I've been friends with for many years in my life that have taken so many draw. They're not the quickest guys to begin with. Then they take a lot of them Xanax, a lot of them perk, and they really put some underwater, you know what I mean? Ooh, I've been down there. With my goggles on.

Scoop is certified, dog. No kitchen, no problem. We got an air firm. Yes, we do. Just got back from that cold, fun water boat, y'all. That shit had a soaking wet. it was fun though if you pause it you can see the camo cargo shorts hanging over the door letting things dry out from that's what you're simming in that's from the cold water boat

you're yeah my man hey tell them what you're putting in there babe i put some seasoned chicken in the air fryer say that again take two see chicken okay we don't want to blend but You want it where he's got a little clock at the end of the early little season. So, yeah. I don't know about all that. I'm not. How the fuck she's talking about? I just ask for a little salt and pepper.

Why is it that? First of all, dude, who's taking it? Smart, I'll give you that. But the air friar to the motel room. Not a bad move. Let me tell you that. Not a bad move, though. Because it's not like it's, you know, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's

It's not like you're grilling. It's not going to cause any more of a mess than anything else. Like, that is a pretty smart move. I don't think this couple is worried about the mess. I'm just saying that's a pretty smart move bringing the air fryer. Yeah, it's not bad. Because let's say, okay. It also looks like a bed.

That don't look like a hotel or motel. That looks like someone's bedroom. You think? Maybe it's an air. That dresser is, that's like a residential dresser, I feel. I've been in a lot of bad hotel rooms. I never seen something like that. The TV, though.

The TV and that mirror being mounted on the wall like that is motel stuff. Yeah, that's what's got to. I don't think they own property that. I don't either. They got an air friar. What are you talking about? How come pills and cartoons go so well together? They just do, man.

They just do. And I'm not insiduating these gentlemen on anything. No, no, not at all. Could be his fine, upstanding young man. Sure he is. Lovely lady. Nice couple. Nice couple.

doing their thing, but let me tell you this. That's innovative. I got to give them that. It's very, I never. Very innovative. Because, okay, take away the raw chicken. The raw, dude, listen, raw chicken, that ain't being handled properly. You're doing it. Raw chicken in a bedroom is wild. Raw chicken that close to your bed is

where you, where you rest of your head is crazy. Just the splatter component alone. That's what I'm saying. Man, John Taffer would be shutting that down. Dude, shutting that down. The food handling. In that, and It can't be.

You don't got proper utensils. There ain't no cutting board. They're running. They were thighs, though. Big thighs. When you're doing all thigh meat. Woo, you're a different kind. But let's just say, forget about that.

That's off season two. She's in a full sweatsuit. It can't be hot out down there. I thought as soon as was just made. They're probably just down there. They're still there. They caught the after. Because they've been saying that right now is really good time to go.

Cheap. Yeah. Cheap. Get all that chicken's on sale. It didn't get sold over to summer. That's Acme chicken for sure. Listen, as a guy who's been to the Wildwood Acme and been in the discount meat section, that's got buy one get one chicken on it for sure.

Where's the other pack? Is that sitting in the sink? It went crabbing. What I was going to say, you have the air fryer down there. And let's say you go to the store and you get like some Totinos or something. Imagine nice, fresh to tautino. Those are little snacks in the air fryer. Yeah, but you've got to keep that frozen.

You don't really have to. The toasting, what do you mean? That means you've got to cook them right away then. Not for the day. They'll be all right for the day. If you put them in the refrigerator until that night, and then bang them out. I mean, listen, you're down the shore.

I think you got a lot of avenues to get cheap eats. You know what I mean? Get a slice of pizza. I mean, if you're making, I'll not push it back. You're not getting chicken thighs for as cheapies. You're going to make them in the room. I don't care who you are. I don't go over to the Anglese, whatever it is.

Well, I'm not saying it, I'm not saying it's a sit-down restaurant, but you can get, you know, you can get some takeaway or something like that at one of the, get a gyro or something like that. A gyro down the shore? Run you out of town. Oh, man, anything. You're talking about. There's no gyros down a wild.

There is. Is there? Yeah. Shout out to like, oh, they got them for sure. Call them terrorist hamburgers. Terrorist rap. Um, yeah, but that was, uh, that is very wildwood. That's very, that's very more wildwood than North Wildwood, for sure.

Uh, but a lot of, many a night stayed in those in, in, like, the seashell motel or the lollipop club or whatever you're in. That is, that's living. That's the shore. That's the shore for a lot of people. I have, at all of our times, but we were even doing that, though. Like, that's where we not came up with, but, you know, our family innovated or, or we came aware of the hot, cooler full of bullying water for the hot dogs all day.

Keep the hot dogs all day. Make that to the beach. So it is the, you know. This could be the start of a family tradition for these folks. A couple of years, the kids are running around. You know what I mean? Stealing your wallet. Mom's got some wings going on in the air fryer.

A little bit of feathers on them. Listen, if you are, you know, they even said like balling on a budget or budget, budget, budget, budget baby or something like that if you're on a budget the air fryer you get an air fire for 20 bucks home run then you go get you know you go pack a chicken pack a chicken pack a meatball something like that cook them up oh fuck great it's it's if you can't afford to take you know i believe they have kids it a little little deep dive on oh you did yeah so that's why the cartoons are on i don't know if the kids are there i don't see the kids but you know uh pack a chicken like Like you said, you can...

Is that a crush BL can at the end of the bed? I don't know what that is. No, it looks like a Sonic to Hedgehog. They probably won on a boardwalk. Good parents. Man, you can see that? It's a Sonic the Hedgehog? Yeah, I think so.

They've got to have kids. There's probably kids over there. I know there's kids. No, I know there's kids in the house. I don't know if there's kids there right now, I'm saying. I wasn't there this weekend with them, but I do know they have children, yeah. But if you're out there and if you've done it, let us know. And if not, try it.

Give it away. If you're going down to a motel and you ain't got a lot of spending cash for the weekend, you're trying to take your babe out on a getaway. That would be a nice. Take the blender, too, make some margaritas? That would be a nice. I know people that do that. My family did that.

We brought the blender down many at times. Sure. Yeah, to make frozen drinks, frozen margaritas. It was daqueries in the 80s is what it was. Yeah, we were never a big. Pinacoladas. Pinacoladas came first. That was the first frozen drink I was introduced to because my dad used to make.

virgin peanut coladas for us as kids and virgin strawberry dairies. That to me is just like one of the reasons I have an alcohol problem is like they were like you want to like you're ordering virgin drinks because I'm like I'm just doing this until I'm allowed to have

the real thing. You know what I mean? Sure. I'm just priming the pump. It's like that just get a Diet Coke or something like that, you know? Diet Coke as a kid? I have regular Coke. Sure. Yeah, Diet Coke was for Diet Coke as a child. The Europeans or something.

I know one kid that drinks Diet Coke I mean now I think a lot of The kids aren't drinking soda like they used to Yeah That's their problem That is that's why we've turned soft We need that high fructose corn syrup in them You got no high fructose corn syrup in it

Get your brain percolating just right I wouldn't hate if a hotel just had an air friar That's what I was my next thing Yeah get rid of the coffee thing Yeah who the fuck I don't need a fucking steamer First of all steamers don't work They don't work. You know what works?

Patty on an ironing board. That's what works. Steemers do not work. Sure. Get rid of a steamer, okay? And throw a fucking air fryer in there. I don't disagree. I'm sick would that be.

Yeah. Just thinking about getting home late from getting back from a show. You stop down at the... And they got food sitting there that you can air fry. Yeah. Well, I guess they got the microwave. Yeah, it's like, who needs the fucking microwave, though? You don't lose the microwave, get the air friar.

Yeah. Just put an oven up there. What are we doing? Let's go full oven. Yeah, but we've obviously stayed in those extended stays stuff with the full kitchen and a full-size fridge, which makes you feel like your fucking Willie Wonk is back. Blow your brains out. It's weird.

I don't like the stove. I don't know. It's too church and, I need a church and state separation here. That's a little too, a stove next to your bed, dude. I'm, I'm, you know. I got to turn that thing on, open the door and take a dirt nap. I got a whole turkey going. Check out.

I got a meatloaf in there. Fire the fries. You're an expedite order. I got ribs going low and slow, baby. What are you talking about? I got nothing but time. That's all right. Yeah.

Very good. God bless them. Shout out to him. Making a work. That's what this show was freaking build on. Making it working wild with New Jersey. There you go. That is it.

He saved money. Take her out on the water boat, John, as he called it. There you go. And listen. That's smart. They, I think, stole someone else's boat for the week. Every meal doesn't have to be a fucking Broadway show. show that could be a little hold me over until dinner and then you're saving a little money

on lunch all right that's that's a big way you're right there have a little chicken jump in the sheets for a little bit you know what I mean a romantic time let that season and spill over to the bedroom the bedroom if you get right you don't get that in your eyes yes um spicy that was a big way I used to have to manage uh you know because I would do dollar slices for lunch or whatever you dollar slice guy but when was this when we were back when we were banging uh-huh you know what I mean out there in a village fucking like gutting it out

working the front lines I'd go all right I'll spend three dollars on lunch that'll let me then because I meal in New York 15 about 20 you're breaking a 20 to get like something so you'd either do moons right you can get for like five six bucks something like that which I don't love I know I don't know that's sacrilegious.

It is what it is. I don't love them. It used to be a place down the street called Turkish. Turkish, which I liked it. They did the yogurt sauce. But, uh, I don't know. I haven't had my moons in a while. I'll go back and check it out.

They always fall apart, though. Yeah, no, I don't disagree. Yeah. Um, but, uh, whatever. Then I go, well, I spent $3 on lunch. That gives me a little more wiggle room if I got to take a bigger swing at dinner. Sure. You know what I mean?

Cocktail. Or more beer. If you get jammed up somewhere and have to pay for a drink, normally we don't have to. You know what I mean? working here, working there. But if you find yourself... Remember having to pay when you get... Oh, fuck, I got to pay for this?

Yikes. I know it would ruin you. Sure. They'd be caught with like an $8 beer. Holy shit. You got a buck or two for $10? Remember that classy broad I was talking to? We went to Manetta.

She took me... She was like, let's go get a drink at Medeta. Yeah, she buried in like Apple Martinis or something like that. I was checking my TD bank account at the bar. It's brought out of blue cheese olives. Kipi said, I'll be right back. Fucking ran outside. I don't know how much a blue cheese olive costs.

Kip, this is Rocket money. Woo, Rocket money! And if you have some subscriptions that you want to cancel, you can use rocket money to find them and cancel them for you. I know. You know, a lot of people have spent a lot of money on subscriptions that don't even realize. You know, this, they got that,

and they think they're spending this on it when they're really spending that. You get rocket money, you're like, whoa, I didn't know I was dropping this kind of cash. I know. Cancel this, cancel this, cancel this. Whatever you want to do. I know.

Rocket money makes it. It's fast and easy for you. And that was one of those things, too, that I found out, too. It's like, everybody's like, well, how can I make more money? It's times are tough trying to make ends meet. How can I make more money? And then someone's like, you can also just save money. So you don't have to, you know, and Rocket Money is an easier way to help you save money.

Cancel your unwanted subscriptions. Hey, I didn't know I was paying for boner of the monthclub.org or whatever, you know. They let me know, and they canceled. I'm just using that one as an example. I don't want to give you the exact websites I was subscribed to. Gotcha. Rock of money shows you all your expenses. in one place, including subscriptions you forgot about. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that

helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions and monitors your spending. It helps you lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money has five million members that have saved a total of $500 million in cancel subscriptions with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all the apps premium features. I use all the apps premium features. It lets me know every week, hey, this is what you're spending. This is the big charges coming up. This is how much you spent, how little you spent, what you saved. It's fantastic. You can cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with RocketMoney. Go to RocketMoney.com slash garbage today.

That's rocketmoney.com slash garbage. One more time, RocketBuddy. Do it. Do it. Can't me know about Mando? Oh, I know about Mando. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Ah, you do know about Mando. I'm a Mando, man. You smell fresh. I'll tell you that. You know what Mando is? It's an all over body deodorant. All right. These animals, okay, have been just doing the pits.

Yeah. You can't just do the pits. Everywhere. Okay? Just from my bigger boys out there. I got to get under the titties. I got a lot of back alleys and dangerous spots that don't have any video cameras on them. You know what I mean?

I got to keep them clean. High traffic areas. High traffic areas, but not at night. It slows down. Sure. That's when the bad elements comes out. Creepy crawly. The bad bacteria come out at night.

You know what I mean? I got to keep it all fresh. Yeah. And on top of that, they got the Mando body wipes, which is give you some. yourself a little spruce up. They got it all. Maybe you're coming from the office to happy. How are you want to look fresh on the scene?

Uh-huh. And Mando's starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, which is slept on, I feel a lot. And two free products of your choice, like the mini body wash and the deodorant wipes. I'm a deodorant wipes. I'm a deodorant. We got them here.

I'm in here podcast and donut. I just said that. I'm a body white man. I'm relaxed. Is that what they're all going? Yeah. You're taking my body wipes? Listen, I got to go out.

I got a hot dinner. I got to go to spots. I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta get fresh, you know what I mean, so I can do it a freaking Mando, ship them. Right now you get to two, you get, listen, two free products of your choice, the mini body wash or the deodorant wipes, and free shipping. As a special offer for our listeners, new customers get 20% off sitewide with our exclusive code, use garbage at shopmando.com for 20% off site wide plus free shipping.

That's shopmando, S-M-A-N-D-O.com. Please support the new, please support our show and tell them we sent you. Mando's got you covered with deodorant plus sweat, control say goodbye to sweat stains and hello to long last and fresh is do it but all that's neither here or there we got a gas darn family episode on our hands gang uh as you know when you join the old patron a we will uh answer your garbage question on the air that's right kevin uh and let's see speaking uh you know speaking of making it work this was from lawrence ten dollar homie never have one read talk to me garbage that i shared a room and one queen-sized bed with my mom and sister till i was

16. That is making a work, got to make it work. You got to do what you got to do. Wait, this is a hotel. This is a hotel. I have to assume this is their bedroom. Whoa. You got to figure they're in a one bedroom.

That's got to be a studio then. One bedroom, you'd still have a living room of some sort. Sleep on the couch or a love seat or I'll pull out. Until he was when? 16. Oh, man. That might be at someone else's house. like they're staying in the basement of the grandma's house or something

or you're staying at an uncle, an aunt's house. And that's all you guys have is that room. His sexuality has got to be all over the place with that. Freak you out. That'll twist you up. That'll put your wiener in a pretzel. I don't know what to think. Man.

Because at certain point there's just whore me, your body's going through changes. Two broads in the bed. You're laying in bed and you're fighting off a stiffy. And there ain't nowhere to go hide, I'm assuming. If Yenka, you know. Man, long showers. Oh, God. God love you.

That's tough. That's a jam-up city, baby. Yeah, that's garbage. But shout out to that mom for making a work. Of course. What if they lived in, like, a six-bedroom? They were just freaks. They were just real freaky.

This one's from Guido. Great name. G-W-E-E-D-O. Never have one read. Is it garbage to always sign up for subscription slash auto-delivery on things for the discount? Then after its chips immediately cancel the subscription and repeat as needed. One more time?

That's brilliant. Is it garbage to always sign up for the subscription or auto delivery for products? Right. For the discount. Because when you sign up for the auto delivery, hey, we'll sip it every two weeks. You save a dollar or a thing or whatever. And then after it ships, you cancel the subscription and then do it again as needed. Damn.

I wish I was good with that shit. What? I'm so bad. What are you got a big gulp over there? It's so bad it canceled. I heard that whole thing. Movie popcorn That's pretty good

But if you're going to need it I could see for the one-time purchase But then just make the subscription every month Like on Amazon You don't need On Amazon you can set the delivery Like once every two weeks Once every month or whatever

Right So if you're going to redo I can see if you're making a one-time purchase Like I need to buy Aren't you getting the deal Every time you sign up? Yeah but you're getting the deal As long as you keep it on subscribe and save

Wow So the next time I believe I don't know anything about that stuff This might push I'm on paper towel And toilet paper And it changed my life

It's one of those things That I pushed back on For so long They just come They just come Really They just comes And sometimes you're like

You're at like a fucking Surplus And then you go all right Whatever It just lives in the closet Or whatever And then sometimes they miss it Or you know

It gets stolen something And you know Yeah It works itself out I haven't bought So you got extra paper towels And shit over there Yeah

Shit goes down I know where I'm coming Good luck Keeping me out quite easy. Yeah? Yeah. You wouldn't let me in?

What do you mean? I don't know if it was Armageddon. And you needed paper towels? We got bigger freaking problems. Would you let me in if it was the apocalypse? Sure. Really? Easy answer to continue moving on with the show.

You'd probably kill me when I wasn't looking, wouldn't you? What? You're probably compromised guy like you. You're weak. You're susceptible. You'll be the first person they get. Come in with your zombie brains. Next thing you know you got me and my old family.

That's what you would do. You'd leave the door open. or something. Oh, he's just cracking a window. I got chicken going in my bedroom. They come in a window and get me. Hey, he's not as that's Danny. It's my buddy.

He's got a hat on. He's trying to fool up. Yeah, you would, that's you, I mean, in the overarching character arc of you. I'm the guy you would want. You're nuts. What are you crazy? I don't have all the survival skills.

Buddy, you're barely surviving life now, and there's no zombie. Good with the nickel? No, you're not. I don't think you've ever shot a gun Once once I need it Yeah I don't think I'd be bad news

Yeah you dude you would do it I don't know what a door It's all the way over there I think we'll be all right You know laziness would get us I got the screen lock quit bitching Don't get some frishing here Get some fresh in here

Get the stink of his chicken out of here It's an airborne pathogen You got the Britta relax You guys aren't running a humidifier I thought you've got the hepar filter running We have two of those things And they're just sitting there You know what's nuts?

What? As fucking insane At one point in our apartment My wife was running a humidifier And a dehumidifier I was like we have jumped The fucking shark with appliances We have to get off Instagram

Just standing in the middle I do get the one where it was dry as a bane And the other one was like the goddamn Amazon I feel like you know you're trashed At what age you were exposed to your first de-humidifier. Buddy, about four, our basement would flood at my mom's. The sun pump, the boy, dude, you go down there, it still smells like fucking Eric King Sandy. Luke, have you ever seen the de-humidifier?

We have one running in our basement constantly. No kidding. But that's class, they got to go, and we, that's a solution to an ongoing problem. We didn't have that. We had to, like, borrow it from somebody's work or, like, One of construction worker uncle would be. I remember the way it looked. It was always running.

I remember the cold water in the back of it that it collected. The big tank. I could not figure out what it did, how it worked, or why it was down there. But it was just the deumetifier. Ours was the size of a refrigerator. Yeah, ours was pretty sweet. This is late 90s probably.

Yeah, this is mid-80s. The deumidifier. Man, that basement my mom had. That never, ever, ever, ever. got finished she'd been trying for they've been in the house 30 years they've been trying it gets flooded then we're having a paw something we get somebody comes in and put some discount carpet in for i remember that was the first carpet i saw that you could it was like spill resistant you could spill on it did i ever tell you this story you could they got it in it's my mom's

we're having christmas or something so all year we got to had a basement on for to entertain Because our families are fucking 200 people Mm-hmm And they Oh, that never happened What? That was never finished No, I mean, finish isn't like we can

It's not a construction site And there's Could you smoke heaters in the non-carpeted part? No, I don't think so Should have. I mean, we did Pretty sweet But it was water resistant

spill resistant carpet I'd never seen it before I've never seen it after and I swear to God everybody came over you know go look at the carpet new carpet in the basement with fucking baby shit brown

I don't know what it was like something out of an office it was like real had to have a coating on it it did it's something spray with like mylar or something like that probably Teflon

dude and we I swear to God at the party we were pouring sodas out on the thing and vacuum you could vacuum it right up with a wet vac like it would puddle it wouldn't penetrate

to the bottom because we flood I thought it so much. Like, you're at a convention center? Like, I was fucking the sham well, God. Look at that. Look, I put a heater right out on it. Cleans right up.

Man, you're a dirt bag. Yeah. That's what you're doing? Well, is anything? Sitting around crushing fucking Snyder pretzel bites and fucking doing that? Yeah, probably. Doing expos? Were you guys doing showtimes?

Like one and then two, one-thirty? If you sign up, you get a 15% discount today. Does your family ever do that with each other? Use the friends and family thing to get somebody to sign up for whatever. What do you mean? For some reason, I remember, like, my mom got... Like a service? Like my mom got carpet and then if my mom...

Oh, like a referral. Yeah. No, because we were all... Everybody was a construction worker. So it was like, I know a guy who can get you ever. You got a flooring guy. If you're re-sanding, we got a guy, if you're getting carpet, you get the carpet, someone's friends will do it on a side.

It was all sidework. We were big on that. Now, we never... Get the referral. Get the referral. We just started going to a company. It was always, you get a guy. You get someone's friend.

I just used the friends and family to get the whip. Yeah, that's, I mean, as someone, I used to work in marketing for a construction company. That's, like, yeah, well, they take off 10%. Oh, fucking Henry referred me. They just juice up the price 10%. Yeah, basically. Just because you know, Patty, they you think you're getting 10% off. They know Patty.

Broad buys a car every three years. Like, it's not like she's buying fleets for a fucking taxi company. She buys one. You don't know what she does. She buys one car a year, and you think that she's their, probably, listen, she beats them the fuck up on the price. She's stealing the sugars from the break room. She's getting her pound of flesh for sure.

Sure. You think they're going. Ah, Patty's such a good customer. She buys a fucking Jeep. You don't want her walking in here. They're not. She'll ruin someone's day. Coming in and there are slippers slapping you around.

Oh, God. All right, let's see here. This one, this one's from a coop, $10 biggie bag, homie. Are you garbage if you won, enjoy shamrock shakes? Mm-hmm. Trash. Love him. Your card gets declined on a date getting shamrock shakes.

Ooh, that's a tough look. I respect that move, though. FYI, it was buy one, get one free, so the $2.40. 37 cent charge did not clear. Oh. That's bad. I like the cute idea of, let's go good Shamrock Shakes. Come on.

Yeah, but you've got to be able to execute that. Yeah. I think they made them give them back? Because I would assume that time of the night, you're not, they don't do the two windows system. You're assuming drive-thru. Who didn't go in? Come on.

I mean, you can't make any assumptions on a guy's card getting declined to $2.47. I'd say they didn't go in. I would say that's part of the date I would say that's part of the date You know what I mean Like oh let's go in we'll go You know it's like a drive-thru is what You're killing 30

You don't want to extend that out a little bit I would think Make it a little cutesy You can't be cute Unless you're just knocking boots in it I don't love the foo stuff That they do with McDonald's anymore With the I would love to know what the foo stuff

They do the they do the whipped cream and the cherry That's not I don't like that Oh what the burgers No No on the shakes I like the regular old school shakes You know what I mean? Yeah

I don't know I'm not Sounds like you're still banging on the shapes shakes a little bit You've seen them? Commercials Sure $2.47 cents Decline is tough

Because it's It's pretty good Because you can go Fraud charge Or something Because no one doesn't expect You'd have $2.50 cents There's something wrong with the chip

Yeah, there's got a be you know something if it's 60 bucks that's more believable that you don't have it i now do the move of uh let's see if this goes through oh man that is a i've done that that's my move let's hold on let's see if it goes through first you know yeah i've been having trouble with that one you know why traveling a lot traveling a lot rich guy like me traveling a lot i got a lot of magnets on me I work in magnets. I work for 3M. That's what I tell people.

I work for 3M. I work over at the 3M plant, a lot of magnets. They're demagnetizing your card? Yeah, they're demagnetizing my card. Don't you hate that when you're checking at a hotel and they're like, don't put it in the air any? It's like, well, put this on my hands. So where else am I going to put the credit card size card?

Yeah, that happened to me a couple of times the last time we traveled, which was weird. You work with magnets. The 3 implant. I'm sure we're going to jam me up I'm a senior shift Did you think when I said traveling That the credit card key did it

Hmm The magnet from the from the No room go Okay I was in No no I just meant because they're traveling Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you know I don't know people travel a lot Yeah he shut down

Yeah it was overseas yeah I was in Turkey Came me up Turkey Turkey not Greece Greece Yeah I was in Turkey and then went over to Greece I had to do some business over there And I had a lot of business I work for 3M.

I work for 3M. I'm actually their main guy over there, closing all the deals. Shift supervisor. In Turkey and Greece? Yeah. I just top in at the plants and check in on them. So I have a lot of magnets around. There's a lot of magnet technology coming.

Here at 3M. Yeah. I can't talk about it. No. We get jammed up. Actually, it's probably 3M who canceled my car because I'm talking about all these magnet projects. No, they wouldn't do that. Okay.

It's fun yes-end you got rolling there. You don't know how the business works. Apparently shift supervisor. but if my car gets a client that's the reason why a lot of magnets definitely have some on me guy in magnets you got to have magnets on you that's right friends and family discount don't tell anybody should be giving you this discount but i can cancel your card i can cancel your card right now it's already canceled i'm traveling i just canceled it had magnets in my brain that's a new thing preem's doing putting magnets in your brain yeah i genuinely think you might

have magnets in your brain at this point and you're slowly becoming uh senile i keep sticking refrigerator nothing on that i stick to the refrigerator that's where magnets go oh okay gotcha that's funny yeah yeah i was trying not to make a fat joke why that guy stuck to the refrigerator what do you mean why i don't know honey on the handle or something keeps her honey in the refrigerator i said on the handle what are all honey you're supposed to making that is that true no do you ever see that's trying to win this fake bit we got going Did you ever see the thing the way you test to see if honey's real? You take a little bit of it, and you put it in like a saucer.

Okay, you put like, I don't know, like that size honey. What kind of life do you think I'm living where I'm testing if honey's real? And you put water over top of it, and you go one way and you go the other way. And if it forms a honeycomb, that's real honey. It's called memory. It remembers where it came from. Or it could just be the water going back and forth that way. Could have been a fake video you saw, too.

Yeah. But I saw it at the 3M point. Do you remember when he tried to, he's like, oh, yeah, I was looking at this thing. Behind a Walmart in Jersey, there's like this beautiful, this beautiful waterfall. And it was like, someone's like, this is clearly fake. You will buy, you are like, AI is going to get you if it hasn't already. I got a couple of catfishes on me right now, though. Get me.

And some of that AI, though, fall for it. 100%. It's crazy. Yeah. This is AI right now. Is it? Whoa, that just scared me. I've got to be honest of you.

I'm sleep deprived. That just got me. What did you found out if I was AI, and I never existed? And you were in here talking to yourself the whole time, yet the show was still a hit. I can't even get myself there. I'm too tired to do that gymnastics of what that would look like. I'm real. I'm not Magnet.

By the way, I do have to tell you something. I don't work for 3M. What? Yeah. Sorry. Just a bit because my credit card didn't go through. Yeah. Now that we have said, we do, I do have disposable income.

I am less, I take it less personal. I go, oh, try, something must be wrong here. Whereas when you don't have it, you really. What? You got to be kidding. This bullshit. I'm going to sue the whole company. You and 3M.

Go get Ronald McDonald. I need his speaking. They stole my wallet I have $17 million in that account Sir I was always big of it's a gift card I just deposited I just put in

I just put 50 grand in there Yeah a check just cleared Come on give it to me I'm on a date Guys come on I'm trying to fuck this bro over here He might have not known He might have known it was

There's a chance of it not going through I mean, if it's $2.45, that you're down to that? And they were also buy one, get one. Yeah. That's a cheap date. You know. You know what you did. But that might be a good deal breaker.

Or, sorry, a good icebreaker. Let's see how the broad reacts when I got no kidding. I mean, Luke's shaking his head. But listen, a guy who's got $2.47. You're not, I'm sure that broad's card. She's not dating fucking. The shift supervisor at $3. 3M, you know what I mean?

She's dating guys who's, you know. The car might not go through. Yeah, that's where these guys hang. They met it at the bar. They went to state. They're not. That's a ride or die lady. That's what I'm saying.

If she stuck with them. Maybe she said, ooh, you're gross. Okay. Guys heard that before. I wrote that one. During the Volvo Fall Experience event, discover exceptional offers and thoughtful design that leaves plenty of room for autumn adventure.

And see for yourself how Volvo's legendary safety brings peace of mind to every crisp morning commute. This September, Lisa, 2026 X-E-90 plug-in hybrid from $599 biweekly at 3.99% during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Conditions supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. All right, let's see. This one's from Jared. $10, homie, never have one read. Are you garbj if you bring your own avocado to a restaurant because you don't want to pay extra.

My girlfriend's dad does this everywhere I go. Could be a pub or Ruth Chris. I like I dropped Ruth Chris. Can't do that. P.S. He got called out of the Denny's where the waitress said, you're not fooling anyone. We know, sir. Huh. Yeah, you can't do that shit.

That's just putting everybody in an awkward position. Yeah. You need avocado that fucking bed. Avocado would, but, well, Denny's isn't going to have. I bet you Denny's has avocado at this point. You think? Some sort of omelette,

Avocado, get on Denny's. Give me a Denny's menu run down, right? Let's get eyes on a Denny's menu. It's been a minute for me. Let's do the whole thing. Not the whole thing, but, you know. They got avocado. Boom.

Really. They have the moons over my, my, oh, we did one on Route 66. We did a Denny's. We did. At a truck stop. They have the moons over Miami sandwich, which looks really good. The name bothers me.

Does it? I just don't, yeah, yeah. My hammy. Instead of Miami, it's. Yeah, I don't like cutsy. me, just give me the fucking, you know, what are we doing here? I mean, they got the super slams, kind of. They got the French toast slam.

What's the super slam? Like, you don't know what the super. I don't know. Okay. Can you name a Grand Slam breakfast? It's probably one of everything, isn't it? Two eggs. Mm-hmm.

Hash browns, toast. Bacon, sausage, or ham. It's a hungry man where I come from. Yeah. Yeah. But it's a Grand Slam. A hungry man. And pancakes.

What's a super slam? Or a lumberjack. Super Slam. The lumberjacks, because they're doing all that lumberjack, and they need all that extra cars. You think they'd be tired after all that. Be sleepy. I eat a pancake.

I'm done. You are 12 hours. 12 hours for one pancake? Oh, forget it. Jesus Christ. I can't eat pancakes, man. They knock me to fuck out. I'm done.

That's all that syrup and butter? Mm-mm. I'm asleep. If I'm having pancakes on a Sunday, I'm going straight back to bed. I ain't cutting down shit. I get the top of three. M right there. That's right.

Wake up, eat bed. You have pancakes. Don't give me pancakes. Listen, whoever's giving you pancakes. Stop giving you pancakes. I haven't had pancakes in forever. Okay. Unless it's a griddle counts.

Sure. Luke? Doesn't it count? No. No. I don't have to that yet. I don't need your opinion on that. Two buttermilk pancakes, two sausage links, two bacon strips, two eggs, and hash browns.

That's a super? That's a super slam. You get all the meats. Hmm. What's a regular slam? Probably one of or two of the meats. Everyday value slam is choose two buttermilk pancakes, two slices or two slices of French toast,

or biscuit and gravy, serve with eggs, bacon. Or biscuit and gravy. Yeah. I think they know what they're doing. I like a biscuits and gravy. Sure. But I would need the pancakes and a French toast. I couldn't do biscuits and gravy or French toast or pancakes.

I got you. You know what I mean? Sure. Because that's savory. You need to have the sweet to make it a grand slam. Get it over the wall. Sure. To go yard on them.

But back to the sneaking it into Denny's. I kind of respected it. Is it trashier to sneak it into a classier place or Denny's being like, buddy, it's Denny's. Suck my dick. I got my fresh avocado here. Not that I respect it, but I'm saying what's worse? I think it's worse to do it at Denny's. I think I got to push back on that.

It's worse to do that to the. The server at Denny's is kind of lawless. I would argue the server at Denny's goes, I don't give a fuck, hun. I just was on a date last night, the guy's card got declined. I fucking get me a, you know, I got bigger problems than his old man sneaking in his fucking avocados, you know? Sure. That's what I would say.

I don't, my wife does it at one restaurant in Germany that I don't like. What? I've had to tell you this before. No, you have not. Yeah. What does she do? Like a yogurt or something like that she takes in, because they don't offer it. The food's very spicy and they don't.

offer it. So she brings it in. It's a yogurt. Yeah. To do what? To like cut the spiciness of the food. I don't understand. I just explained it. How does yogurt help? I'm playing yogurt. Yeah, like a yogurt is a dairy. Dairy counteracts the spice. Does she mix it in? No, she'll like put it on like the side or something, I guess. Yeah. I got to be honest with you. I also dabble in it. It makes it a little, it makes the bite a little better. You know what I mean? But she gives it she tells them too whoa it's a it's more of an ethnic cuisine uh-huh uh so that is it it lends to be a little spicier uh-huh uh we're talking Ethiopian yeah Pakistani Orecian a Rician uh-huh who are they I'll buy Pluto it's like the Sumerian

joint uh Erychian I believe it's like it's like Ethiopian but I think it's uh yeah Eritia hmm anyway she tells them hey listen she asked permission. Okay. She goes, listen, I brought this. We stopped at a store. It's not like a banana and strawberries. It's like a plain yogurt, right? Yeah, it's not, yeah, like a, like yes. It's like sour cream. Yes. Hmm. I mean, do we really think she was bringing in a bananas? I don't know. I don't know. To mix with you two wackadoos are. Reaching fruit. A reach of year around. Hey you doing. That's what I'm going for. Talk to me. Uh, but she, and I was just like, babe, this is fucking crazy. You can do this. You can do this over here. We get back to America. You.

You ain't fucking... How do you feel about to Seinfeld when he brings the maple syrup into the diner for his pancakes with Courtney Cox? Would you be okay with that? Hmm. If I was showing up with my own syrup? Yes, because we're not charging you for syrup. You're also then saving me money. I'm offering a sub-quality product.

Hmm. Right? You're not saving any money. If anything, you're going, you're not using my syrup. Hmm. I think it's pretentious, and I would go, just go to a place... Listen, if you want fucking avocado, let's use the syrup example. You don't know, Kramer sneaks in Sarah, or Kramer and Jerry.

Syrup. Syrup. Syrup. Serap. To a diner for pancakes. If that's the case, just go somewhere else and get your fucking pancakes that makes them the way you like them. You know, it sounds crazy.

That's what I would say. If you want premium products, go to the places that serve premium products. You're at a fucking diner. You get what the fucking diner gives you. I never thought that I would say this, but at the AIDS that I'm at, I do prefer real maple syrup as opposed to like, you know, the chemical shit. Yeah, which is crazy. I never thought.

Ever having that the first time when you were a kid? It was like pouring iced tea on your French toast. It was gross. I don't think I've ever had it. Really? Real maple syrup? It's quite good. Yeah, I don't know.

My wife gets it. I don't, I just went on. I'm not eating it. I'm not eating pancakes and French toasts like that. I'm not accusing anybody of at this table of doing that. I'm just saying, I don't, yeah. I mean, as a kid, I'm an Aunt Jemima, man. Yeah, me too.

Mrs. Butterworth. That was, that was not for us. Really? We were a Jemima family. A little face on it? We were the Aunt Jemima pancakes, which I never understood how you made pancakes from a box of flour like that. It blew my fucking, I remember holding the box looking at it going,

You mean these pancakes are in here somehow? How the fuck do I get them in me? When Denise would throw down on pancakes, whoo, she can cook a hell of a brecky. Hell of a brecky. She really knows it. Getting the bubbles going and everything. She made us something down the shore the other night.

She called like, they call it like soccer pasta or something like that. It's like a real quick meal in 30 minutes. You take like ground meat. It's like a one pot pasta. type thing. Ground meat, you know, it's like Pan-A. It's like... Ship it. It's like the most Irish fucking pasta. It's Penae, ground

beef probably. You think you probably salt, you cook it in a pan real quick. Dump it in, cook the pasta, dump it all in a pot, sprinkle some fucking low moisture mozzarella on it, throw it in the oven. Like a Z, like a baked... No sauce?

Yeah, sauce to him, sorry. Bake Ziti type thing. I'm with it. Yeah. I'm going to make soccer pasta. I'm like, what the fuck you talking about, lady? That's what the kids call. Soccer pasta. My mom used to hit us with summer spaghetti. You know what that is?

It's basically cold spaghetti with vegetables and Italian dressing on it. Dude, I don't... Vegetables and pasta can kick fucking rock to me. That's just me. What do I know? Avocado bringing the restaurant. Stop doing it. Stop at anything to a restaurant.

Just stop. Or go to a restaurant that has that, or you... This is the problem The only reason I care about You're just putting the server In an awkward situation I gotta deal with this now Or I'm gonna not deal with it

And then what happens is my dickhead manager Who doesn't like me to begin with Because I'm fucking leaving to do auditions I usually come in all fucked up And crashed out fucking I do a bad job anyway Now this guy is gonna start bust up my ball Do you say so to that guy

About the avocado And then I gotta be the fucking dickhead And then you're gonna be a dickhead to me Oh, it's a big deal Come on man What are you doing? Trying to fucking make it work here Trying to get a bag after this

You're fucking up my shit I don't have cash tips To get the bag You think they're gonna be fucking happy about that Now my kids are in jeopardy Now my kids are in jeopardy I'm supposed to go on this date later Which is Broad

I told her I work for 3M I don't think she believes me I only got 2.46 I got 2.45 on me Broad wants to go out to dinner What am I supposed to do I wish I could bring my avocado to a restaurant

Where I was taking this broad Sure To me it's a bigger thing of like We're on him We get everything we want And how you want Like Through like the Uberie

You just get anything you want Is there What's the side of avocado with Denny's Probably three bucks Three bucks Yeah You always get screwed on that anyway You never get a

Don't ever ask for a side of avocado You're gonna get less than a half of an avocado Or some places they give you too much Do you ever see that No There's been there some places New York where I guess you're like these can be 15 avocados a lot of avocados really yeah um but it's the thing it's like I don't like it's like selfish to me it's like you get to do you get to just ruin the

rules and break the rules because you like avocado with every first of all you're eating avocado with every fucking meal weird what kind of fucking asshole are you huh I think it would go good with that soccer pasta though to be honest no no no what what is that mix in I don't know I don't know I got pancakes on her brain. It's getting sleepy just thinking about them. Yeah, just fucking, then don't go out. Then cook every meal. If you want avocado with every meal, then cook every fucking meal.

Everybody does it. It's the same thing with like all making crazy changing. Can I do this and fucking shot? I love Tommy Cassie. Tommy Cassie does that. You go out and you go, hey, comes to the side of potatoes or a side of fucking vegetables. Oh, man. Can I do a side of a side of, you know?

It's always a lobster bisque. Yeah, can I do a side of filet? It's like, no, motherfucker. You can't. Tommy always wants to sub the lobster bis for whatever side is on there. That's just dirt bag shit. That's crazy. The lobster bisque? Man.

But just like, we come from very, just fucking go by the rule. You bucket a little more, you know, as of recently. What? What do I do? I don't know why you're taking attitude to it. You're very much, you will ask to make exceptions to the rule sometimes. I never asked to make exceptions to the rule. I will ask to add something on and pay for it.

No one's saying you don't want to pay for it. I'm just saying there's a lot of... Give me an example. I don't know. Hey, this. Does it come with this? What's that? Okay, could I just do it?

There's a, there's a, put a pin in it. There's a lot of talking to the waiter. More talking than anyone else at the table. I have certain dietary restrictions. And requests. Now, can you deep fry my avocado I brought? Hey, you're asking them just, hey, can you cook these mozzarella sticks? You got a bag of foot.

You got an appetizer, sampler, frozen in a bag? Instead of the salad, can I do pancakes? See, that would be a pretty even switch. What? Yeah, instead of the salad or the vegetable, we'll do pancakes. Okay. I thought I would do that. No, never.

Write it down. Um, yeah, but like, it's just fucking go. Just get along to go along. No need to fucking stop making, you're not important. No one's important. Just get what the fuck they have and shut the fuck up. Take that to the bank. All right, fine.

Not you specifically. I'll have the pancakes. That was more towards... I understand. The royal us. Yeah. Right? No, we're not.

Just shut the fuck up. You don't need... First of all, avocado in every meal is... Maybe it's good fats. It's got heart stuff. It's good for it. It's good... There you go.

Non-saturated fat. Mm-hmm. It's good. Avocado oil is good for you. Sure. Cook with it. Do it at home. You don't need avocado every meal.

If you do, eat it in the car before it's fucking go to the bathroom and fucking boof it real quick. Fucking making your problem, everybody's problem. Man, just crushing an avocado? Ugh. You need a little salsa. Should be junga. Yeah, I don't even like slices of avocado.

You know, avocado would be good instead of the yogurt at that place. That would cool it down a little bit. Yeah, so I'm going to take the edge off. That's all. That's all she's looking for. I wonder if he cuts it there. because that's kind of a balsy move. He just walks in with an avocado.

Does he have a little avocado in like a container? That might make a difference. Hmm. Because you could just... I don't know what way I like better. I think if you go in there and you're sitting there cutting it like a dickhead, that's kind of like in their face. But if you have a little bit of avocado and a thing

and you just throw it on your plate and then put the container in your shirt or whatever, that's not bad. Who's going to see that? What's that green stuff over there? I wouldn't say anything about that. I'd look the other way about that. But if you leave and there's a fucking dead avocado peel on the table, I got to fucking do some explaining to my shift manager.

Who is a dickhead? Oh, I already said, does not like me. Right? For my previous transgressions. Of course. I don't do my sidework. I show up late. Uh-huh.

Knows I'm yacked out. Sure. I might be a little hungover. Slepping a park bench out front. Yeah. I was always crazy that you would do that to me. I remember like, I'm just going to go crash out on the bench. I remember being like,

Motherfucker, that is crazy to me. I put my wallet and my keys in my buhole. Uh-huh. Both fit comfortably. It wouldn't be for like a couple hours. No, I know. I was out drinking with you. I'm well aware of the situation.

Had to be out on the scene, you know, showing it, doing it. Mm-hmm. It's the way it was. It's what got us here, baby. You fucking shrunk out on a park bench is what got us here? It's a way to diminish the fucking 15 years of hard work we put in. Nah, I like doing drugs and drugs. drinking till late and

No, we were out making the scene. Even when I have responsibilities in a morning, so I'll go be homeless. No, we were out making the scene, being out there, showing up. We were drinking at the village lantern. Following leads. Working his dreams. Working CIs, following leads.

That's some American gangster of you guys. Yeah. All right, let's see here. Right before he jumps out of the ambulance. which will probably be how our relationship will end. I jump out of a moving ambulance. I got to take you in. All right, that sounds good.

Hey, what's that over there? Slapchop me in the throat and fucking roll out the bag. Dude, that's how, I don't know if it really works in real life, but if you want to get away from someone, slapchop to the throat, apparently in movies, works 100%. I remember the one that Denzel does to the kid and he got game. and he really catches him right here.

Uh-huh. What'd you say? Glock! Yeah, I'll fucking take you out. I fucking love that movie. Ray Allen. Great. Gary Peyton.

Gary Peyton, wasn't it? This is in the same world here, which I think everybody will be on the complete. We'll take the other side here. This is from episode preview, $10 undercover, Armano, Basura. Never have one read.

Are you garbage? If you, sneak alcohol onto a flight. I was at the airport this weekend and I saw a lady pour two drinks into a water bottle. I'm okay with that because these fucking corporate fat cats

you know what I mean? Yeah. If you can buy, I mean, I don't know where she's getting that she's either buying it to the bar, I guess. But then you're paying, that ain't cheap at a fucking airport bar.

No. So you gotta get it after. Do they sell airplane bottles at the duty-free places? I would assume they do. Probably not the small ones. No? Just the big ones.

For that reason. I would assume so, yeah. Because they say... My only thing with that... They say, I've been on international places to say, do not drink any alcohol that you don't purchase from us. Which is bullshit.

You probably, a lot of fight. People probably get nuts. Yeah, dude. Free booze on a plane? Listen. Well, you get Luke's got something. So there was this thing, and I remember because Bert,

was doing it. You're allowed to bring like a certain amount of those airplane bottles into the airport with you. You're just not allowed to consume them on the flight. You're allowed to because they're under

it's like to me. It could be like your toothpaste. Exactly. Get me a number on that if you can't. Do a little deep dive. It might be the Burt rule. He might have fucking ruined it for everybody. So it's as many as you can fit

I think in a court size bag because I remember Burt being like you're allowed to bring like six of them or something and he was his trick for a while. Yeah, good for you. then yeah if you can get it through security and then make fucking or if you're at like applebees and they got they probably don't do specials at the airport like that like the

pitcher of margaritas for 999 or you know you can get you all fucked up others i'd be going to i'd be going to tsa pre-check getting fucked up at jfk i'll do the hellraiser pitcher double uh here's my only thing about that i'm a pussy when it comes to the air stuff like that's FAA whatever that's the kind of shit they would take you off the plane for I think they would just go hey so you can't drink that also you're in the fucking back like that I know but if you have a bot if you have conspired like if you do if like there was you think there was one where these three ladies were on like the way to like a bachelor party and they had little little shots and they were like hey we're on our way to our vacation and they were doing like

a nice little toast and the flight of tenta came over like girls i'm sorry you can't have that and took them away and they were like oh okay that i understand but if i have it in a bottle i've conspired now you think your enemy of the state something that's i mean talk about being a a pussy would you let them tie me up what if they wanted to time me up to the seat yeah i'd dude i'd fucking i'd be all over it i'm still trying to get my meal Give me num-n-dums Um I think it would be one of those things

I think it would be one of those things I got an apple juice with a straw I'm a tear a shoe I had to turn a shirt because I'm to my mouse tied up I got you I'm picking up you are a good actor This guy's a dick guy doesn't he

That's my jerk off out of here. He don't work for 3M. Couldn't cut it. Couldn't hack in a 3M. They let him go. You got a straw dick. You know what I said?

Thank you. I don't know if you're talking to me now or in the character. And the character on the plane. I'm yelling at you because you let them tie me up. Didn't defend me. Uh-huh. You deserved it. You were conspiring against people.

I'll call him, brother. I got to drink him. You buddy at 3M. I'll put my keys in my wallet in my head and let me go to bed. Yeah, that's all I'm saying is that that's, and that's real. I would argue that there would be less, because listen, the guys that are doing that, people that aren't doing it aren't going to abuse it. I would argue.

No, I'd see. I disagree with that. Because then they're going to abuse it on. Listen, if you. want to get fucked up on a plane. If you're pouring liquor in a water bottle, you got a fucking problem. I'm not saying you don't. And you're going to slip up. That's going to be pure vodka. You're going to get fucked up. Yeah, then what? You're going to start saying some shit. And you're going to end up getting fucking. You're so wrong in this. Seapelt

extended to the fucking seat. Listen, if you're, I know how I would be. Yeah, I've watched you drink 18 fucking bloody marries and be fine. If you, if you had a bottle of Titos and you were pouring it, listen. And also, I've been on planes where I've done. drank them out of vodka. Shout at that Miami, how you doing? So it's like, you're gonna,

if you really want to drink that bad to the point where you're going to sneak your own vodka in or whatever, you're going to buy the vodka. Money has never stopped. I am an alcoholic. Money has never stopped me from getting drunk. If I have fucking $40 and I can buy $8,

eight drinks for $5 a piece, I'm buying them drinks. So it's, I'm going to drink the drinks regardless if they're mine or yours. You just want to make money off it. Delta don't make no fucking money if I'm drinking my fucking Jameson. You know what I mean? I don't, hey, baby, preaching to the choir.

You travel across fucking seas. They give it to you for free. They do? Yeah, it's free on fucking trains. If you're going to, if you go to Europe. If you're in the back? Yes. Pooze is free.

Wine? Fly a Lufthansa flight, dude. They come around, they give you a fucking wine. They give you a fucking shot. They give you after they didn't occur. They give you beers. Liquor. Liquor. I'll give you some baillies.

Let me do some of that snap shit. They'll give you a cup of bailey's on ice. I can come over and top you off. They don't give a fun. And not the little ones. They got the full bottles. They're pouring in cups for you. I like that.

It's like a frep. It's like my, you know. What am I getting back into bailey's a little bit? It's great. I love it. Like a gentleman. Mm-hmm. Bailey season's coming up.

It is coming up. It can make nutty Irishman. Ooh. Aunt Patty makes a mean nutty Irishman. Does she? That's how I found out about them. They'd sit around and drink that and coffees. And they had little, like, fancy shot glasses that had, like, stems on them.

You know what I mean? And they had sham rocks on them. White sham, like, you know, classy, not, like, gaudy, green. Like, real subtle and a matching pitcher. And that's what they would be in. And they would fucking, man, the boys would get after it. You up. After Thanksgiving, be sitting there.

I'm in a fucking tur. Talk about looking for the air marshal. All we got to wrap it up. What a fun one. Gang, we love you to death. Get your tickets for that back on the block door. Come out and see the boys. Have a good time.

We love you. And we'll see you next week. Peace.