Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - How To Pay With Change w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: July 24, 2025

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Pretty Litter: Right now save 20% on your FIRST order and get a free cat toy at https://PrettyLitter.com/garbage Brunt Workwear: Get $10 Off @BRUNT with code GARBAGE at https://bruntworkwear.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I probably consumed 56 ounces of Diet Coke, a bag of chips, and I'm talking a heavy bike full. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast this is Are You Garbage? It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that the good to be classy. Yeah. Which is just a big old piece of trash. Garbage. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day we're out back here at the the Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. How you doing?

I'm in the charts. I mean, listen. We're in the charts here on Spotify. Look out. We're the hot kids on the block. New kids on the block coming in. How you doing? Only 40 and 50 years old new kids on the block

coming to get you. Trying to be like that Joe Sanna-Gatto. Uh, let's take a shot out of the basement yard. Woo-wee! Obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com, slash, garbage. You go. Obviously, the greatest website of all time, WWW.Patreon.com. So, I garbage you over there. You get

all that bonus content gang. Yes, sir. It's uh. Midsummer days here. Midsummer days. I said. Big season guy. Oh, I love this. Love a season. You love the next season. You love the last season. You love seasoning. Little all season. Oh, man. What was that one? Was it all

seasoning? All spice or something like that. Old spice. No. All seasons. Seasoning salt. I don't know what that ever James mixed up crazy salt. Excuse me. Just had some of that on pizza at my sister's house. Bath salts once. Out

there in Miami. Woke up, ate someone's face off. Got that gator skin. I think that caught a bad rap. That guy was just gonna eat someone's face to be best salts. Yeah, that was like the guy was got caught eating someone's face He wasn't doing bass salts like relaxing like a bath bomb. I think that's what not a bath bomb I think they're sold. I never can you get the drug? That's a street That's a street name, but I think it started called bath salts. It wasn't actual basalt. He was it was sniffing I think that's what that guy. It wasn't actual basal He was it was niffin Epson's no But it was being sold that like you could buy it at like a fucking head shop as bath salts

I believe like under the guy of this is a bath salt. Hey, he's fucking don't figure out a way to get Listen the second hand off brand drugs. You got to stick to the original stuff. That's the way I look at it. Harold. You go old school, I'm just saying. Sure. You know, there's Delta 9, whatever this shit is. I don't mess with that. No.

What do you got? It's all that synthetic stuff they can get away with it. So they were selling bath salts at head shops and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, when you say bath salts, you mean actual bath salts? Like I put in the tub and relax. No, the you go crazy kind. You go crazy kind. Listen, I'm sure if you smoke the bath salts you mean actual bath salts like I know the tub and relax No, though you go crazy kind you go crazy Listen, I'm sure if you smoke the path bomb you get pretty fucked up

You go crazy seasoning salt like when they used to sell like k2 and stuff yeah in wildwood It was they were ecstasy cigarettes They were a black you didn't have to be 18 to buy them They were it wasn't ecstasy, but they were called ecstasy and they like you know got you they were you know some sort of synthetic fucking Cannabinoid little X can be back to my fucking club days That's when it just it's when it jumped the shark when I learned that when I when I started when you started hearing like Cannabinoids and like fucking it's a compound like dude. Just get a just get a bag of swiggers, okay? It's a Mexican brickweed and get lifted you plant a couple of seeds in a little cup you put it in your window you water

It know when it gets a leaf form you start freaking out that the fucking DEA's Got the hot spot on the roof my first was like I'm out was my boy He was like he was our first hippie got into fish He got into like teller William like all these like independent fucking widespread panic Kids real cool. I suppose go to a widespread panic show in Athens, Georgia I said would you lose a bad fuck back? Yeah, no way, but this he started talking about we were like eighth grade and he was like You can't eat weed you got to neutralize it with the body

It's the I remember you can't just be he was trying to explain me You can't just bake weed in brownies. You gotta make the butter to break down the fiber and like dude shut the fuck I just eat in a bud I'm like, I just want a brownie You can't just eat a bud. It won't get you high. Nah, what that's the dumbest thing I ever you got to put in the oven and like bake it for ah here. He goes fuck I know Luke Matthews. I'll dork it up for you Matthews sounds like an outside linebacker Luke Matthews from Penn State school art school the hard

Not what did you go for a couple of years trying to get his shit together um I also might want to get into before we get started over here on the program talk to me We've been dirtbags for a long time in our life down on our luck slow on cash. You know Stringing together some change here and there let me me see. Yeah, we've I've paid for my fit listen Paid for my fair share of stuff with chain collecting change picking quarters out fucking hit This is how I always I saw someone paying and change recently and it really threw me through a mix kind of change We talking let me get to let me get to that. Let me I'll get there So I was always a shit. I was shameful that I was broke right so I would take my

$14 I'd go hit the coin star at the super fresh let them wet their beak on 14. Oh, yeah, you're doing small I never why never I never make the effort to go to a coin so unless I got a hundi that What dude I don't think I've ever had a hundi at a coin. I was going really I sometimes I'd get single Denomination I was just looking for a pack of heaters So I would get I've read my go to the gas station with what it's all good Listen you go to what you go to a shitty gas station. There's no it's like a fucking planet fitness. I know judgment I know but they want the quarters. It helped my confidence. I walk out of there fucking counting bills, dawg.

Plus, so you get the receipt, I take that to the customer service desk. I go, yo, let me get a pack of Marlboro Milds. They get out of there, give me the cash back. Wait, you're handing them a marker? What do you, they get, no, the Coinstar prints you out a ticket. You gotta take that ticket to the customer service,

which is so happy. I do it in line Yeah, I mean that I'm going I'm going to the your head your hold on You're going to the customer service center at a grocery store with the chip in your hand with the one the dupe With the ticket yeah with the winning lottery ticket 14. You don't even high-roller. No, I go right to the cage So you don't say hey, give me $14 for this then I'll make a separate transaction with some cigarettes you say take my marker Okay Take the heaters out of there and give me the change Yeah, I go can I get a pack of Marlboro light she or more. I give you a room to

Free turkey bend it at that point at that point I smoke a Marlboro Milds. Marlboro Milds? Yeah, the medium... Were you on tour with somebody? They were the medium menthols. What did your boyfriend do at the time? No, that was a dudes thing. Marlboro Milds?

The blues? You're nuts. They don't even make that no more. I've never seen the blues before. They used to be buy one get one. That's a lady's sake. No, I'm telling you. That's for a girl with sun in her hair and a hemp necklace. No, Marlboro menthol lights is what they smoked. Marlboro menthol lights.

That's a hooker's sake. That's what that is. That's a tugboat. Anyway Marlboro menthol. I've dabbled with them a little bit. Remember the ultralights? I couldn't feel them. When you wanted a headache. My sister, I'd steal them out of my sister's fucking center console when she, you don't smoke no more. And like those weren't even good on the south end of an eight ball. They were bad. They didn't do nothing. Now if you were drunk that that was like breathing a cuz I think he's sick. I know um

Whatever, that's what I would do. I like I would Especially into college and after that I would fucking I I would go in I make sure I was quarter heavy if I am paying In straight change make sure I'm quarter heavy. They're kind of I know that I got five here and I know what I'm buying. I know how much I go. Okay, 12345 being bad. This is heaters. This is next. This is whatever. If I said a gas station, gas. Wow. Yeah, gas station and X on whatever. What have you? Where do you think the garbage line of that stops? Where can you pay and change? And where does it stop? I would say I guessed it. Well, see this is different because like not everywhere except in credit. Like so like you could have seven dollars in your bank account which and go get a dollar slice which before there used to be a five there used to be minimums everywhere. That's not the case anymore. Yeah they don't do that anymore. There's no minimum on credit cards anymore right? No. Dude remember you they would at a bodega, if you were like,

hey, it's $4, and you'd be like, I gotta pay card. They'd be like, you gotta get something else. Now they don't even ask for, they just start tapping it in and turn the- Single transaction. Yeah. Even for like, you know. You got a piece of bazooka joke, throw it on the AmEx.

As though you've been done. Tap and bop. Read the funny stuff. I remember the dollar slice places used to not take as a cash as a key You ain't like but so like people snooping around that's how I operated I remember you know even in my times in New York before before we switched all cash. What do you mean? Like what's fucking

Cash on demand you're paying the uber driver you're paying the fucking Amazon driver Make one of them big heads. Like what the fuck is? Everything. Cash on demand, you're paying the Uber driver, you're paying the fucking Amazon driver and shit. Um... So, I was at a coffee shop. Not too long ago. Like not a Starbucks, like so here's my thing. We can break it down. Woman was, a grown woman.

Dressed like kinda of not like not Poor didn't didn't resonate she needed to be buying Here's my thing. She's paying for like a six dollar. It was like 697 or something. She got like a frappuccino latte something like that She pays for the whole thing not hot. I think pays for the whole thing in change Which like I'm not sure thing. Not hot, I think. Pays for the whole thing in change. Which like, I'm not sure why that purchase is being made in change. I can explain. Please. I got a sneeze covered. Give me a sec. Woo! You kiss king. Man, he sees really getting to me

Regular people people that do well people that are sharp with their money they sometimes Accidentally accrue change that they have No shame or qualms spending when it gets full enough. It's nothing to them. I got to get rid of. I don't want it in my car anymore. I would argue no one has $7 worth of change in their car because no one's spending cash like that. You think she was jammed up? This is what I'm saying. I don't know. Why are you ordering? That's what I'm saying. This is where I'm coming from. You're ordering a $7 coffee. If you don't have, if you're paying, if you need to pay and change,

I don't think you're getting a seven dollar coffee at the foo foo Boutique spot if you go ahead. There's a wah-wah But like if you only have seven dollars, why not go? Let me get a pack of zins and a 99 cent call because she got caught up and spending outside of her limit She probably has a good job She probably has a good job nice boss. has a good job. Nice boss. She does well. And then you know, shit went south. You know, not her fault. Over extended herself over extended herself got caught up

with the wrong people. Sure ended up at the wrong parties doing the wrong thing. Uh huh. And now she's trying to get it all back together. But she's in a little bit of a slump right now. But she knows that when she walks into the office and everyone's wearing Dior and Gucci and Burberry and they got the Bindi bags and all that stuff, she can't walk in with an A plus cup of coffee because they'll be like, hey, Debbie's back on the yak. Everybody. Debbie's jammed the **** up. Debbie's jammed the **** up. She's to keep up the appearances until the check comes in next month. I was straightened out if I had to guess

Just not to be from person. Yeah, good looking woman Older here's my here's what's wrong my attention to it. It would say whatever why they was 697 She dropped the nine. She got clean with the $6. Counted out the 6. And hit him with a 97? But then dropped all the 97 on the ground. Like by accident. Oh, she's going through it.

Girl, call me. She's got the shakes. She's detoxing now that I think about it. She's got a bit of a DT. And it ain't from no cafe latte. I tell you that. That's all she can afford at the moment to keep it That's probably your goddamn breakfast lunch and dinner. She's a cup of coffee. She's been up all night. I don't know

I mean listen that I I I was too shameful and what you know some people you know that was just a thing for me of Like gentlemen if you don't mind would have stepped in and said hey Let me get this for you swoop in what she's at her lowest now you're talking Hey take you down to the diner or something like that get a bowl of chowder in you Sweat that out, baby. You got to sweat out them toxins get a bowl of stew in you some hot sauce honey That's some goulash at the crib Yeah, I don't know, I was just very like, why are you here? Like there's other options to be doing. Seven dollars in change is a lot of change.

She's used to it baby. Yeah, but then who the fuck has that much change? I don't think seven dollars is that much. How many bills you have to break to accumulate? $7 and over her the years of working or whatever Yeah, you don't got seven dollars and change at your house Damn whether you're doing well, yeah, but I'm not rolling with it But if you were jammed the fuck up you would be oh

I'd get the fucking super fresh cashier getting a pack of Marlboro Milds with my ticket. Like a guy walk out with $7.00 chain cash. No one ever knew I was jammed the fuck up. You should be doing the move where she goes to 7-Eleven, steals a cup of coffee inside the Big Gulp cup. That's what I'm saying. Get a little crafty or something. Maybe she's on the way. Keep an eye on her in the neighborhood. Yeah, I kinda have to. I don't know. I was... Yeah, I don't know. Hey, to each their own. Maybe she was just spending, maybe she was jammed.

I just... In my dirtbag brain, nothing was computing. I couldn't get the rhythm on it. The way that I look at it though, and you have said this before, when people who have it like that, okay, when, you know, if she is smart with her money And she just had extra change and just wanted to get rid of it. They don't think about that That's the same mentality and I've heard you say this that if a guy's I never heard me say the guys out to dinner and He is doing he has nothing to hide doing well He hands a credit card for some reason that credit card doesn't go through sure this goes out my bad here use this one

What if it was us we'd be the fuck this is bullshit. I'm goddamn American fucking run it again Don't don't do not run that again call up Luke Luke will spot me. I just call Luke back in 45 minutes venue out again. I'll be back in 10 Bring my dad Luke call your dad. I need a hundred and twenty eight dollars to Applebee's in Midtown stat They pay over the phone with a credit card no problem. You wanted to I wonder what that is now Could now the things have changed access to money has changed so much What is the I don't I mean the old story would be like you got to wash dishes the worker What is the I can't fucking pay for this?

And that like cuz then at some point something like Venmo me you could even go like hey waiter I'll vet can you pay cash? I'll Venmo you put on your car. I'll Venmo like my fuckers. I'd ask if you got cell that's what it gets real bad cash Uh How do the cash I've sponsored they just sent me ten dollars in Bitcoin get out of here what I asked for signing up Yeah, huh? Kids rich Out of the cab. Hey miles

Yeah, no um I wonder what that looks like now Not having enough money to pay for the tab to pay for the bill cuz someone I Mean like when we used to go like me Pat flip whatever we'd go out with only access to between the three of us Well, with only access to between the three of us, I only had access to maybe $80. And if whatever my card was and was something or something hit and cleared me out that I wasn't expecting, like we didn't have it, nobody had it to cover.

You'd have to like go home and like ask your mom or something. You know what's a good trick? If you got nothing, but you want to save a little face, you take a key and you scratch the strip on the back of the card throw it in there It's not working do the wash or something You got magnets in magnetize it. Hey start running. They start calling they call up master card real quick No, they can't do that. They can't get into your camp. They don't know my pin number you lean over and cut the cord They can't get into your camp. They don't know my pin number. You lean over and cut the cord. I cut the telephone.

You can't pay your phone bill. Kind of established me. Taking my business elsewhere. I'm still sick to my stomach. I think those clams are bad. What kind of barbershop is this? That's all right. Kimmy, can I tell you about Pretty Litter?

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And after you order, they'll ask you how you heard about Brunto as a favor. Let them know the boy sent you from RE Garbage. We love yous. Yeah, I don't know. All right, all that being said, that's neither here nor there. We got a gosh darn family episode on our hands, gang. As you know, if you're a fan of the program or homie

or a long time bozo,zo if you're new to the program Just blacked out for a second when you sign up for the old patreon to give your question run on the air by Kevin James Ryan himself that at the Listen, I got fucking baby bread free. I got baby brown though. What's going on father of the year? The last six months not what my wife said Currently at home alone with a screaming baby. Hey, you know kids got you a little bit. Um, buddy relax.

That's too much formula. He's probably doing tummy time right now. Tummy time. I got him a bunch of Phillies. All right in the good folks over there. William Morrison Endeavor sent us a bunch of Phillies all right in the good folks over there William Morrison Endeavor Sent us a lot of top-shelf outfit top-shelf outfit over there. Yeah, maybe one day we can work together Also, they're like I'm like six that fucking flea bag they call bi-coastal

bisexual hello Freaky Alternating wieners What they got you some nice Philly stuff some Philly stuff they got almost so he's been rocking he's got like a wah-wah Onesie he's got a onesie that says John He's got a step on our gear that we got our off-brand Eagle stuff I gotta be honest with you. Yes, some of that shit was wack your Randy McNabb Who gets it Donovan McNabb onesie that's wild I mean you're a Philly scumbag Listen, I don't McNabb is your guy

Yeah, yes. I'm a Randall cutting him and myself. Jim McMahon scrambled eggs. Cunningham or Ron jaws. Jaws. Hey, listen, I've long known had at Jaws is autograph. My dad used to rent a rent a unit from him. We're all Jalen Hertz man's now though.

We saw him on the field. Sure. We did. We'll celebrate down there with the team. AFC JFC champion. I was another we Jaylen Hurts walked by me and you and like looked At us as a good game. He's like what the fight What you fat asses on the on the good job Jimmy? I'm stealing someone's helmet Good friends of Mike Mamoula

Did I did have a Mike my morela signed Mike Mamoula jersey. We just hung out with him. What do you mean? Holy shit, we did. At the Whitney show at the tower. Or not the tower theater. Good looking dude. Yeah, remember he didn't... I said to him, remember that? I embarrassed him. I was like, I had a Mike Mamoula and he's like, cool. He didn't give me the time of day.

You hung out with us for a little from LaVez when we started comedy. Who are you? Ha ha ha. What was I talking about? No, but he's been rocking his filly gear. Makes me feel like a proud filly. It's in me. It's like stealing your change.

I can't wait till I get in there for sure. He's smoking my Marlboro Mild. I can't wait to get him down to the boardwalk and hold them up like Lion King at the entrance You know what I mean sure let him see it let him see his palace or his fucking his kingdom now What if he starts operating like you and the boys did what if he's sneaking? What if he's going down to the games and he's sneaking heaters in the hallway, huh? Down at the tailgating. Yeah, what age? couple months seven eight uh I mean as you know season

We were a big if you're 16, you're allowed to have a beer A lot of start smoking at 12, you know state troopers. I would say this to you My uncle who was a cop not anymore Um, all right. Like we said, we got a gosh darn family episode on our hands. Let's friggin get right into it. Speaking of paying and checking out in cashiers and supermarkets, this is from Banister Lannister. First time, long time, never had one read. Ten dollar homie.

Banister Lannister. It's a good name for a band. It's a tongue twister. He's like, I'm writing this live from a Publix checkout line. Publix, from what I hear, fantastic institution. Mr. Burt Kreischer, big fan of the Publix to PubSub. Everybody is.

Which I gotta say, when he first started mentioning it to us, I had my curiosity. Now you have. Lately, he's been posting. A lot of people. He's down there. Down there.

A lot of people have been, because we talked about PubSub maybe like a month or so ago. Now he has my interest. I thought they were more pre-made. I didn't know they were fucking banging. They're banging them out like making them for you. We down there in FLA anytime soon? Not really, right? Not really. Not to hold out. Swinging a miss. We'll be in Georgia. I got them in Atlanta. I got them in Atlanta. I think so. Okay. In the South, Southern boy. Sure. In Uber Eats. Sure. Um, writing this live from a Publix checkout line. Uh, I feel like Publix is trashy because of the X, right? Anything with an X is like a strip, it's like strip club shit.

Publix with an X is like, you're not swinging for the fucking high society. Or when you replace the S with a Z. Yeah. Bad. Sure. And if the Z goes into the two words. That's big. Yeah.

It's huge. Like pizza zone or whatever. The Z fucking. That's pretty good. I know. Is there a pizza zone? I'm sure. See, let's take it over on there.

How many? I mean, it's not going to give them to you all over the country. But there's got to be. let's take it over on there. How many, I mean, that's not gonna give them to you all over the country, but there's gotta be. There's probably four in New York. Pizza Zone? Pizza Zone would have to be a chain. That sounds like a chain from uh. Toy Story. It is. It might be. Yeah. Got one in Lodi. Lodi, Texas? New Jersey. Wait, is that where he was stuck? No. No, what was it? Cosmic Pizza or something? What was the pizza in Toy Story? Oh, I'm not asking your brain. I'm asking Google.

Hey, pizza planet pizza planet. That sounds like that sounds like a nice Friday night. And then a pizza planet, play some video games, get a nice slice of pepperoni. We didn't have any fucking toys started coming to life then you're freaking the fuck out stopping those things. Talk about widespread panic. No is that where John Fogarty was stuck stuck in Lodi again?

I don't know. Oh, what are yours? I'm stuck in Lodi. Is that what he was said? Do you know that Luke? Not well enough. I'm Googling it now. I'm going to the Google hour with RU Garvin you just about a year ago? I set it on my own

Yeah, I thought Lodi was in Texas. I mean it might be He's saying the song is referring to Lodi, California. Ah See, I knew there was another one. Yeah, they're all wrong on the state though. Was he jammed up? I mean, yeah, they're often wrong on the state that was he jammed up Very much so the feeling of being trapped in a mundane or unfulfilling situation. That's what it refers to the line in there That's five dollars and quarters on it and no heaters All right, so this is I banister Lannister I exclusively will use a hand basket despite the amount of items. I need and usually do self-checkout Okay today the self-checkout line was long, but the Express was wide open

Is it garbage that I walk up and put the basket right on the belt and didn't unpack it? Logistically it didn't seem like it made a difference, but I feel like it's a stone-cold trash move Yeah, dude. What the fuck what What are you the queen of England? That's it's feet listen. I've been a carrier. I've been on the business end of that. It's a little dismissive. Although it's not Legit it's there the thing doesn't have to move you can Yeah, I get it it might be easier for them and if you've been to a trader Jews That's how it's done Because there's no belt. There's just a zone just right there. I would argue I don't think I've ever been a trader Joe's in the suburbs

But that's a very New York thing too They tend to just like at like more small because there's no space is it in the suburbs suburbs same thing. Yeah Wow, I don't know trader Joe's in the suburbs? Suburbs, same thing, yeah. Wow. I don't know if there's been no Trader Joe's in the suburbs. All city action. City miles. I'm not a TJ's guy. Or at least the one you made. Hmm. Yeah, I wonder. I feel like I've been in one in Jersey and there's belts though. I wouldn't say either way it's trashy. I would say it's a little uncouth. Or could be interpreted as uncouth. It would be like snobby is what I would say. Yeah, it seems a little cunty. Unload my basket. I'm banister Lannister. You will unload that. I'll unload I Lannisters. Publix? Yes, that is Borson cheese if you've ever seen it before. How long you been eating Borson cheese? What's Borson? I'm surprised you don't know it. I'm not familiar.

It's like a fancy cheese dip thing. You know borson cheese? Comes in like a little tin foil thing, a little ball. No, I'm a Cooper Sharp man. I'm a- It's not cheese like you put on a Sammy. Why does it have to be messing with it? It's dipping cheese.

What do you think, I'm just rolling with dipping cheese? I didn't see it till college, but my parents had it around. How do you spell it? Let me get eyes on it B-O-O-U-S-R-I-N Is it? B-O-U-R-S-I-N

Right Right what he's You know that I know but you didn't have that when you were a kid. I don't have it now What are you talking about? You had to go and start getting some burps in He talked about it the coin started some burjain Normandy what did we steamroll them pussy is that was that what's from normandy france originally in normandy france a brand of soft Creamy and crumbly gourmet cheese you're getting real fucking hoity-to-be dropping your fucking Your banister Lannister on the conveyor belt and going do my groceries. It's from Normandy. They really pulled it together, didn't they? Shout out to a good chowder in Normandy to I hear it's a Bourdain always said good soup

cold wind coming off the weather rain All right, let's see here, uh This one's from Tootie's protege a $10 home and never have one ready. Are you are you garbage Kenny Banyan? Are you garbage if you're seriously contemplating getting a payday loan with your car title on a car that has a slipping transmission? Just so they'll be the ones that have to deal with it I guess that's pretty good if it's got a bad transmission the idea of it got a bad transmission You get your five thousand dollar loan for it. Don't pay it back. They take the car

They're fucked it ain't worth five grand. They don't know that got plugs in the tire That's Bannister Lane Guys not unpacking his god damn his basket, i'll give him that that's a fucking sweet loan take the car, i'll give a fuck feels like that's kinda how

it would shake out i'm sure they have to have people doing car title loans they ain't the fucking boy scouts i'm sure they're aware dirtbags are trying to give them fucking cars without engines and stuff. That's pretty good They they have to know do you think that's their first time getting screwed over at least what you got to do is when they come The repo you still have to do the fake run out of the house in your towel

So to try to stop my car. I gotta go to work give him the socks. You know damn Well, you ain't got no job. I gotta get to the coin star machine my car ain't got no seats Paul and then bitches from Marlboro miles Driving to work That's a tough look that's that's fucking gene the it That's pretty good um Alright, let's see here. This is Prince of Trash 1995 Hey fellas got a question for you

Got an answer. Maybe shooter have you guys recently used duct tape to repair anything? I currently have a leaky faucet patch it up with some duct tape, and it's still a little it still leaks a little but not as bad I just use my real first time using Gorilla glue that stuff you gotta be careful that I use super glue homeowner You got child in the house that stuff is dangerous. Well. He's not he can't get into no I know, but you can clamp your fingers together that shit ain't never coming off. I'm stuck holding the baby I Caught him huffing it the other day. That stuff is dangerous. Well, I realized so.

My day was called crazy glue. No, so they're different. I bought crazy glue the other day, and then I found gorilla glue at the house. I crazed this is real dirt bag shit. We got a crazy glue model kit. Messersmith, what are you doing? I? This is a real. This is a real dirt bag

our coffee table in the living room using crazy glue on wood Whoa, so it's like I meant all right, so they say this is that you know this is the table. This is like there's like a I meant, all right, so say this is the table. This is like, there's like a laminate type, not laminate, or whatever, like a piece of thin wood on top. And then there's the trim on the side that's like two different pieces, you know what I mean? It's the same material, just like this, and then trim along the side.

All right. We put our feet on the coffee table, and this seam... Bubbled up? Yes. the outlets, outlets. So we probably got a bum table or something. It's probably sitting in the wrong fucking shipping container of all the glue melted off. And then they were like, you know, give it to these fucking idiots. Man, we buy the worst shit. So I had a super glue it and turn it until you don't see it. And that like then faces the TV.

Yeah. But I thought it faces the TV. What do you want to face in the couch? No, because then I look at I can't see that. I don't see that edge. Nobody walks in front of the TV. Yeah, but I thought it faces the TV. What do you want to face in the couch? No, because then I look at I can't see that. I don't see that edge. Nobody walks in front of the TV. I just want to get screamed at. Anyway, catch a remote on the side of that. I forgot to tell you this. I got an issue going on at the apartment a of you know, we got the wood flooring

in the living room. I got two sections that are doing this and it went from heavy payload walking around just saying what's that stuff rated at tectonic it went from this to this overnight to the point that I thought it was a pipe or something that was gonna burst had the super come up take a look he's like it ain't the air conditioning leaking in because it's too far away. He thinks it's kind of the real wood. Can't be. Yeah, it's real wood planks. I mean, I really whatever that stuff is. It's not like tape. I didn't see it was tape. It's not like fake brick. It's real wood.

It's not wallpaper. What's that? Yeah, it's not. Well, what's that stuff? Like LPV stuff. Who? Like laminate. LBJ. Great guy. Couldn't walk. Huh? Yeah. Walked fine. Tall drink of water. Big piece, do they say? Weiner. Oh. They used to call him a little LBJ. Hey, look it up. Anyway, he from Lodi. They think it's the building next door pushing against our

building that's causing the problem. Yeah. That's like tremor **** I think I got a lawsuit on me. He was slipping full. Get a get him a neck brace. Ship it to the house. Trip over that. Hey, I'm going to do a trip over a hand with like, you know, I was just changing them or whatever. He needed the passive.

Like you got to fucking. You don't like getting a baby change. Nah. I need to do it. But hey, you know what I mean? I would love it. I would love it. You get cold and they don't like that. He starts feeling that on my sack. Tighten me up a little bit. Clean me all up. All my legs up. I'd be down for that. Have to be a big guy. Big dude.

Fuckin' Andre the Giant cleaning your diaper. Fuckin' legs up over. Oh my God. That was my Andre the Giant. That was not that good. Typically a great showman. You really. You shit everywhere.

Oh, another blowout. But I was doing that and I haven't used it in so long that you go, oh, it was that feeling of like, it on your fingers, like I haven't felt this feeling in so long and then your fingers get hard and then she's like, can you come here? So I'm holding them and I'm like, I got heavy bike hemis on my hand.

I gotta get this baby away from me. I'm like putting the pacifier in his mouth. He's fucking, I'm like, this is fucking bad. Can't get it out. Hey gang, staying healthy this summer when the warm weather hits and you're juggling your vacations, visitors, there's zero routine left in your life,

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buy bad shit. The cabinet under the sink, the handle is wood in like two Not like two metal loops Well, they go you know it's like a loop here and a loop here and there's like a wooden thing that goes through I think I know you're talking about got them on Amazon mm-hmm and the Apollo enough That they that the wood slips out Jesus. What are they connected with? This is like a little fucking like indent or something. I know they look great though So you super glue them in together so I fucking gorilla glue Matter of the way what metal wood gorilla glue baby really yeah, it's not made with actual gorillas

now 20% more gorilla You're conserving here um Yeah, that's a that is a good que that is a very good indicator of Dirt bagginess of your any duct tape yeah, I've been using as you know I'm a big painters tape guy now cuz that duct tape really James you up hey, but the painters tape don't do nothing Nuts I cut my foot. I, I used duct tape on it. Oh yeah, I'll give you that. With a piece of gauze.

Yeah. That's a big super glue that too. I was really rolling the dice on that too. I really just covered it up and let it, I didn't touch it for like a week. And I was like, this is gonna turn black and fall off, I'm gonna find out that I have diabetes and bad circulation or it's gonna heal on its own.

Thank God it healed on its own. Took the duct tape off and it was fine. Please my foot don't come off. Please my foot don't come off. I mean this one's wild. This is from Garbitch. $10 trash and everyone went, are you Garb, you put your dad's ashes in a yingling bottle? That's, listen as a Philly dirt bag, I respect that. I respect it. Listen, there's not many containers you could put me in that would be...

I'm gonna pull this back. I don't think there's... Now that I think about it, there's not a more sentimental thing to put me in than a yingling bottle. There's no other container that I've had a connection with. I'm not going to do that thing to put me in than a yingling bottle. There's no other container that I that I've had a connection with. I mean, a

pounder. Sure. I would do one of those glass bottles that you get at like Great Adventure. The sand art. They stretch out. I'd be in one of those. Like the Coke bottles. Yeah. I used to do sand art and I thought I was good. Yeah, I thought I really had a business on my hand He had a sand art kit and for the whole nine. Did you stretch the bottle out?

Fucking was a hippie What's thinking low and glad how did he get away with doing that like great adventure? I mean, they don't do that anymore. There's no way you're allowed to melt glass at great adventure I don't I never saw them do the bottles. Yeah, I just the bottles were always Let's get some sand art for the set. Start looking. I'll do something. You do it, buy it.

Should do a little art contest on Patreon. Like what? I don't know, paint something. A paint and sip. Still life. Oh, let's get a man. A paint and sip with the homies would be alright. That would be nice.

Get a nude model. Ryan D. Scary Jerry. Scary Jerry. I think the homies would be alright. That would be nice. Get a nude model. Ryan D. Jerry Jerry. Scary Jerry. That would be pretty good. That'd be cool to get a nude model. Get a guy and a girl for everybody. Can we broadcast that? A nude model? Yeah. Behind a paywall? Not on YouTube won't take it. I don't think Patreon likes the nudity.

It's still in my house. I know cameras. It's still in my bedroom. Locked the door. You guys stay at your place. This one's from $10kipi, Junior's legal fund investor. Are you garbage if you watch those YouTube hotels slash cruise reviews before you go on a trip so you know exactly what everything looks like before you get there. I'm with it. I'm I just started doing that

I'm with it. It's insane The amount of information that's on YouTube. Yeah, it's crazy If you're going somewhere and you don't look up, you know ten things to do and fucking Wilmington, Delaware on a Friday You're nuts by coke by coke by coke by Actually, I could Chinese food down here. Um, I you're going to be in Wilmington, Delaware on a Friday. You're nuts. Buy Coke, buy Coke, buy Coke. I actually got good Chinese food down here. Mm hmm.

Um I've also like looked at stuff and been like, I don't need to go now. I've just scratched the itch. I don't need to go see the castle in upstate New York. Trevi Fountain, I get it. Uh huh. Yeah. Uh a lot of people are talking about

that joint that you went to. What's it called called lock hammer? No, where'd you go? Just recently? Yeah, though the castle The month no mohawk mohawk fucking price you could have went to fucking Cancun for three weeks for that for that fucking price Yeah, there's the baby the baby moon They're talking about that online. Yeah, not your stay specific My stay wasn't a some guy. You know the the line. Yeah, not your stay specifically. My stay wasn't a some guy. He don't know about the real estate. I thought it was your shoe. Alright, let's

see here. Uh this is $10 homie house money and is it garbage or scoot? That's a great name. House money and house money and it's my boy house money and house money and that's pretty good. Always winning. It's such a good. It. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant.

Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant.

Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. Ant. That's a, I love that. Scooch over, go, buddy, take a look at what I'm dealing with. You're preaching to the choir, dude. I do that all the time. I let them know. That's what I call a little street ratting.

You're fucking beeping at me when you think I would be the fucking idiot not going. And it's this fucking dickhead in front of me Well, you want me to go I'm right there with you I'm trying to make moves for sure Yeah, that's man to think of that is so I've yeah, I like it to verbalize. Yeah, that's that's a mo That's one of those things that that makes you mad. We didn't think of it. I know I know that's fantastic We had one the other day. We went to to an event we were shooting something and it was uh It was a bring your own chair event Which is we were like that is a there there is no classy bring your own chair event if you're rolling

I mean and these guys were rolling unless you're gonna see Andrew Ryu or something like that You know Andrew Ryu is big big conductor huge in Europe. I mean packing them the fuck in That's good. I don't like this is fucking Normandy cheese for European conductors my dad liked them I yeah, how do you find them on you? You found them on YouTube? I was just watching a video of the founders of YouTube Yeah, when there was only 40 videos on YouTube and they were like they were sitting in some fucking closet and they were filming and one guy had a camera. He's like We just- Were they making videos?

Yeah, I guess I don't know. Well it was made to share like for him to share videos with his boys originally of like I can upload this and send you a link that you can watch it, but he was like They were like, oh we need he's like at the end of the day. It's just not that cool We only have like 40 or 50 videos on here. We need more videos now look at now look at them We got two guys we got the fucking YouTube plaque on a wall what they cash in for those guys Oh, see what you see we can get their net worth that I Mean Google bought them for like a billion or so. A billion dollars.

I don't know. A lot of cash. That's a lot of cash. That guy ain't hitting a coin star. I'll tell you that much. He ain't smoking Marlboro Milds either. 400 million, 500 million, 140 million. Yeah, all these guys.

Wow. Who's the guy that started YouTube? Chad Hurley, Steve Chen shall we Kareem? And Gary YouTube This one's from lap Banda brothers great name $10 homie Do you currently have any silverware or utensils inside your refrigerator? Any utensils crawling inside my refrigerator or silverware? Yes, I do. Yeah. Yes, I do. I

also have a couple of Tupperware that I know were empty and were placed right back in the refrigerator. Dirty. Yeah. Dishwasher was full. Didn't want to leave them in the sink. Didn't want to clean them by hand. Slid them right back in.

They've fallen under the radar. When you stack them neatly, could be something in there. Sure. Yeah. I can't move you the Uh we currently, my wife and her family do the plate of food in there. Like I was talking about there's like homemade schnitzel or whatever and it's just on the plate in there which like my family would put that in a container or a bag. Yeah, I can't have open air shit in there unless it's fruit. They're big open air people. Really? Yeah.

Wow. You gotta seal that in. Sealing the flavor. Next thing you know it's tasting like other stuff that's in there. Freaks. Whoa. Freaky deaky, baby. Mixing or everything smells like cutlet. We also, uh, man.

So the the pan our frying pans have been a big point of contention at my house. The Teflon, what are you doing? So listen, she gets in you. What? Maybe she had pampered chef. Maybe they were pampered chef, but she was get she got it at she it was a tan one with like a bra like a brush bronze handle and she got it at home goods, which is bunk. It's got a bad coating on it, something. This thing eggs were sticking to this thing.

It didn't matter if you put butter, Vaseline, anything. Eggs to this. Hmm. I like to cook my eggies in the morning I know well aware well documented welcome to the show you thought we have a set of stainless steel pans We bought we bought one that thing you got to get to like fucking the level of the Sun 7,000 degrees into the water test and then you can put the stuff in there and it won't stick get out of here I don't have that in me give me call me the Teflon that's too dangerous I want the micro plastics have DuPont make it I want non-stick fucking slide right off there so in a in a heated so I go hey you gotta get we gotta get a new pan this pan fucking sucks right. This is a few months ago because I got a new pan. I was when we were on the road or something.

I'm like fucking great. I'm gonna go back, make some fucking scram bees. It's the same pan, just a different color. And I went, it's the same freaking pan and it's sticking. Can't stand you. You put butter in there and the wheel? Uh, yeah, yeah, I tried it all. Start stickin'?

I don't do butter anymore. I don't want to moult the butter. Gotta do half oil, half butter. Hey, guy. Hey, that's Gordon Ramsay. That ain't me. Which I didn't know he played soccer, professionally. Did he?

I didn't know either. I just blacked out. You don't want mine, you don't want mine either I just blacked out. You know what my you know what my I'm thinking Rod Stewart No Gordon Ramsay was not a professional football player. There's no way you were fucking that good of a she you gotta choose a lane It's also Fucking Johnny YouTube over is it me or was Elton John also an astrophysicist is that true? Can you look at that up? Elton John's real name go Gary YouTube no

John Elton Elton Brand John I don't know okay seen if Got a book report in a couple hours I seen him the other day at a regular restaurant sitting outside pain and change you believe that guy Got with that much cash. He's just at a restaurant. I want to say it was in Italy or something like that Oh, I thought you saw him like in the city

Oh, I would have told you said you saw him at a restaurant I would have called you from there. You're not gonna believe who the fuck is sitting next to me. Gipy look at At the Smith Wait, you just said a little gem sees you saw him. I see the money video of him at a restaurant. Okay. Yeah Okay, just sitting down outside of the restaurant that crazy that he could still go out to restaurants Elton John Figured he'd be taking all those meals at the house born Reginald Kenneth Dwight. That's right You taking all those meals at the house born Reginald Kenneth Dwight. That's right Now you know I'm gonna say Samuel something, but I think that's Mark Twain um

What was I saying? Pampered chef pans I said I never even heard that sounds like a shitty brand I'm the first thing that comes up when you google it. What is the lawsuit against pampered chef? What ruining my fucking bird in eggs? What is the lawsuit against pampered chef what ruining my fucking burning eggs? Multiple it seems like about what that's why they're at home goods data sharing lawsuit defective knife sharpening trademark infringement product liability wrongful death Almost killed my wife Those data leaks that

They don't have my I mean we bought we bought it through Home Goods. Who knows? Pampered Chef. Listen, they ain't got my credit card in. Dada Leaks. This guy really likes his eggs, huh? He's got to get five eggs this morning? Jesus Christ, you fattie. That's what gets out there.

Why? Come on. One broke. I've been lying to say I've been doing three eggs. The story breaks I really been doing five and I am using butter. Soon a successful podcaster, Kevin Ryan, has been lying about his three egg consumption. I've been doing the avocado spray from Whole Foods. That's no good for you.

It's got the aerosol in it. I said, you know what? I can't do this anymore. You go out and buy yourself your own pan I did hex clad who yeah good stuff. Not a Marvel character That's glad Captain American shield making scram. He's on it. Hey hex clad. Yeah, they're big I think Tommy Pope was pushing them, right? It's like a big brain top of the line Tommy uses uses it, buddy. I I hit this with one little

little spray. My scram be alone. But Polo sport. This thing is fucking. Yeah, it's like a girl on a motorcycle. It's slipping all over the place. Wait, why? I make a wet

but the vibration. Oh, yeah. I never say now I'm crazy. Wait, why? Do I make a wet? The vibration! Oh, yeah! I never thought about that. Now I'm crazy, huh? Welcome to the show. I never thought about that. That's all I think about! I wish I was a guy that could ride a motorcycle and have a chick on the back hanging on. You'd be one of the trike guys, if we're being honest.

Nah, I would be skinny in this fantasy. Sure. I also wouldn't be mad enough to ride a motorcycle. No, I saw two guys on a motorcycle yesterday. It seemed to look like a guy and his dad and I didn't know how I felt in the same motorcycle. Yeah, the dad was on the back. Well, I would not was he hugged up or was he leaning back? Because they could have been running to the shop or something.

Did he have a whale tail? Was he looked up or was he leaning back? Cuz they could have been running to the shop or something. Did he have a whale tail? Was he sticking it out? With a tramp stamp on the back? Flashing his tits? I his his wiener was on his butt. They they were close. I would not want my dad that close to me.

That's what I do know that. Even if we were I wouldn't want to close to me Even if we readied rekindle our our relationship Yeah, it's a little too close for something the barber runs up against your hand. God the fuck Hey, take it easy Earl get your balls off me shoulder Barber hello chair All right, let's see here this one is just funny This is from lemon with lime ten dollar whore never have one read is it garbage when I was 16 I bought a Crossbow on Amazon because I was a big fan of the walking dead. That's a guy looking for a personality He's going you know what I'll be crossbows crossbows are cool though. They kind of hit a little bit

We could get them at flea markets. No kidding Like a legit like go through your crossbow. I mean they weren't they'd fight. I mean they they would I Did the the the darts were a little dull a little more dull hurts you more You remember like the I don't know the only thing I can refer to is like a archery arrow Where it's a had like a little stainless steel tip On it wasn't like it was like rounded a little metal tip Yeah, you talking about the classic the classic archery red bow that you get it like Walmart Those things were pretty sweet you fucking I don't ever watch those things in the air

I'd never I could I mean I didn't have this arm blasts of the only time I was like a kid I I couldn't like get it. I don't even a regular. I'm not talking about compound bow. Oh compound bows are easy aren't they that's why they're compound compound bows come back I thought they were harder kind of I don't know no no I mean all the drawstring like the weight of the drawstring so it's like some are like 80 pound bows You need 80 pounds to pull back. Let's say this guy said 150 pound. Yeah, those are I mean that's 150 pound crossbow I think go to right through you take down a rhino. What are you talking about? Zombie at least.

What is the crossbow used for? There's not a specific thing is other than killing zombies. Do people go crossbow hunting? I don't know, right? You got two of them. Zombies and vampires. That's what you got to take out. Yeah, I feel like that's all it's for.

What do you got? Crossbow hunting is a popular method of hunting. Really? Yeah. Huh. Seems like it I don't understand like the whole handgun version. Yeah I get it. Easier to learn and master than a traditional bow. Chewbacca used the crossbow, the laser crossbow though. I don't take out a Take out a hog you really have to wind that up though. That don't make sense technology. I feel like he did that's I mean that Don't make no friggin sense Right, that's bad, right? I feel like he did have to cock it. Yeah, I couldn't know but he just looked like a crossbow I don't know. I don't like that It's a gorilla what do you want from him?

He's doing the best of what he's got. All right, let's see here. This one's from Lil Rigatoni Stinger. Never had one read. Is it garbage if your mom still drinks Sunny D instead of orange juice? That's crazy. Man, her esophagus is rotted out. Her teeth are going too. That stuff takes the enamel off. Woo!

That's got to be freezing cold. That's wild. That's like also the stuff that's like fortified. It's like now fortified and you feel it. There's a film in this that's not natural. Yeah. Damn. Vitamin X.

That's fucking crazy. This one's the same thing. This is her pack rat. What's the earliest? This will be a big debate. that's a natural. Yeah. Damn. I'm going to be like, hmm. Wow. I might push back on that a little bit. Some of these super rich guys, business guys are pretty addicted to diet cokes. They might do diet cokes in the morning with their eggs,

with their egg white omelet. I would still make it try. I mean that's just because they got the money and they're some, you know, listen, I do that. Lunch. It's gotta that lunch It's gotta be it's gotta be lunch. It's gotta. I would say maybe you're up early listen when we when I was You take your lunch at like 10 o'clock cuz you start at fucking 6 and you were hungry So I would say if your lunch after it's got to be 10 o'clock on and it's gotta be I'd say if you're lunch, after it's gotta be 10 o'clock on and it's gotta be I'd say it's gotta be after 1130 But what if you're taking, what if your day started at 6?

Doesn't matter, it's still 10 o'clock, it's still 10 o'clock in the morning, get him, student! You can't be doing a fucking, a sunny D and a hoogie, that'll ruin it I'll give you iced tea Huh, I'll give you iced tea Coffee, more coffee, it's 10 o'clock in the morning coffee in a fucking meatball hero. I actually don't mind it The older I get the more I like having coffee with a meal I know but listen they're not saying you again. This is for society not what you like We have to draw a line for the good people out there fair enough fair enough you get up young listen

It's not classy, but you get a pass if you're working construction and your and your lunch is at fucking 1015 I got to give you a pass. All right, you're a fucking you're a hard-working guy. You're fucking Weldon. Thank you. That's not talking to you These will give me a coke with 1015 I got to give you that but yeah, I would say after 11, and it's got to be It can't be breakfast food although. I eat it for breakfast. What's the latest that you can have coffee till your trash? Or a psychic well to Pamela you feel like a fucking if you're working overnight And then a lot goes into that air traffic controller type shit

You know how much coffee they put away, but that's like a what they did in the 70s That's probably more I mean you do the fucking can't be all jittery doing that shit now There's also so many better forms of caffeine. I think it's five-hour energy. Oh, yeah, just adderall cocaine Fucking root beer something like that, you know caffeine or root beer whatever ginger ale No, it's great. I've seen a gin. I've started naming the ones that don't have it. I got you Sprite No caffeine seven up. No caffeine only day no caffeine

No, okay, caffeine and orange juice diet sprite. My mom man. That stuff had a fucking Was like eating a fucking fire. I had one last week Not good crazy not good You tasted the diet so much. I don't know what it is. It's so bad. It's such a difference. It's crazy. It's like the biggest difference in diet soda.

Yeah. Truly. Thanks. Truly stinks. Regular Sprite. All right. Diet Sprite. No good. Yeah, I don't know. We were always a big coke and Sprite. My dad line of coke, line of of sprite down the down the fray Would he do a sprite? Oh, yeah crushed up ice really a real dad style We had we had like not they weren't solo cups. They were the super fresh brand uh-huh America's Choice

They were America's Choice you buy like the fifth the clear cups, but like a solo, but clear you'd fill that up with crushed ice and then like really fucking Build Bill Nye the science guy beaker it in there to get the you know and keep the keep the can I have way? Right there I never saw it with a plate of a like goldfish or like pretzel goldfish or whatever take it out sit down Read the paper watch whatever crank a heater I've never seen a lot of uh like goldfish or like pretzel goldfish or whatever. Take it out, sit down, read the paper,

watch whatever, crank a heater. I think we're a big heater on the couch family. I never saw my father drink a sprite in my whole life. Never. I've seen him drink root beer, diet root beer, cream soda, birch beer. No, you got like soda. Coca

Cola. Sure. Never a sprite. Chocolate soda. That's. Diet root beer. That was the big thing. Diet root beer. Sure. Uh this is this is from Tombo in the world of soda. Ten dollar homie here. Are you garbage if you fill up

your fountain soda? Take a swig off the top for quality assurance. Let me finish. Then refill the cup before leaving. Bonus points if you're making the person behind you wait while you do all that that's That's the dad. I feel pressure When that's the case I feel a lot of pressure you have to you have sure But you feel like such a fat ass when you're gulping it and someone's just like twiddle on their thumbs

And you're like I'm sorry. I just like showed it There was nothing there was nothing better than my last day job when I was working for that interior designer I soda machine I was doing pretty good There's a chipotle right around a chipotle. I would treat myself when I get two three bucks in my pocket It was your pay EBS extra. It was payday I'd sit there. I would I would Angle to get a spot close to the soda machine

Back you're just eating there you pull the chair up there They got the tables you can't move though. They're all bolted down and sure that's throwing them around Hi, uh, I Cuz that's how kip that's kippy at his I would do a big bowl What a side of chippies if I was being a real bad you're doing you're doing out of the cup You're not doing the straw right out of yeah That's how you really regulate the right amount of I man. I would paint my I would walk out of there hurting

Bad I would consume. I'd probably consume Hi, probably consume 56 ounces of diet coke a Bag of chips, and I'm talking a heavy bike bowl human beings and I would do Talking a heavy bike bowl human beings and I would do I'd be sitting there hurting human beings should not have a should not be allowed access to the fountain soda No, I've become a worst person once they've got on the other side of the counter for sure man Talk about not giving this shit. Let's put it over there But thank God for it. They do free refills I've ever can I have a refill?

Walking up to the counter. Did you make it here? Did you cut the line? I don't remember that. They give you refills. Yeah, like a Burger King or something. Before they were on B&O. Before they put them in Gen Pop.

Why do you think they bolted them seats down at fast food joints I'll jacked up on fucking mr. Pibb and root beer. Would you ever do it? Nestea? Would you ever do an iced tea at the fountain? such a waste What am I an athlete get out of here? It never really hits that right out of the fountain did I ever tell you that we were It never really hits that right out of the fountain. Did I ever tell you that we were like my grandmother? I don't know if I ever told my I just told you or I never told you. My grandma was in hospice. We were all there down ashore and.

We moved into the place down ashore. Yeah, she went. Wow. Also, shout out to the zoo. So my grandparents lived in a small town outside ocean City called Seaville right right offshore This kid hit me up not a fan of the show But he goes my mom is a huge fan of the show I guess she has no way of getting to us So she's got him DM and me go what Street did you go what Street were your grandpix? He's ago my mom's asking me what street your grandparents lived on

Because it was it off of old stagecoach Avenue. I'm like it was I mean it's fucking three streets in there, but shout out to you miss you Beat the shoes at the Atlantic City show oh nice We moved in with We like moved in because we're a board clan. There's like a hundred of us Uh-huh, so there was a group like 40 that were there heavy and we were at a bunch of pizza from like a bad joint down it came super greasy and I remember I was So we're like out there cranking heaters or drinking cough like posted up in a hospital

Hey, you know sure they made room like like the cafeteria room was like our like we took over I mean we have boxes of pizza that pizza like heavy cheese. I'm not talking low moisture mods either I'm talking high moisture You know what I mean like the top of the box is greasy moisture you know what I mean like the top of the box is greasy you got a you got a grease spot at the top of the box and my cousin who at the time was on the World Cup team uh-huh and he's dabbing his pizza and I remember I was dressed I was when I was selling roofs door-to-door I have like a pair of slacks on like a huge polo but like not tucked in a polo. I stole from Phil

I remember dress you like baggy pay I am like no gel in my I am a fat fucking I'm on my fifth slice. I thought that Oh, lucky you dabbing your pizza And like I like tried it by I hit my cousin and they started my uncle started laughing at him like meanwhile He is a fucking world class and he's he's looking at me He's like dude You probably like you fucking sell roost or the door and you stink at that you pulled your shoulder I'm drinking coffee and eating pizza eating a cigarette. It was like fucking I just I look back at that be like

What did he think when I was like you dead? Fucking guys an Olympian here crease is dripping onto your lap Fucking guys an Olympian here crease is dripping onto your lap Rubbing my shirt give me that napkin when you're done. I was standing up eating pizza, too I didn't even sit I remember standing up standing over the box Good just talk about not getting it Trashing a guy for dabbing That's what but like that makes me that I would never

Back to the iced tea. That's such a waste You're relating that to dabbing the pizza. Yeah, I said I'm not an athlete Only in my head only athletes dab their pizza. They're the only ones they're allowed to I will say a dab With a it's gotta be a paper towel. It's gotta be a real greasy thing and you can get it to the perfect consistency if you really know how to work it if you can get it sometimes you get a lot of grease off and It's like

Super dry. That's when it's got good texture. I've never done it once really no you should try That's what that's the piece I'm is It's a I've only ever seen a Ruben Pfeffer do it Sure, sometimes you'll do it like a dollar slice joint and they got the real thin napkins And I think disappears when you throw it on there You're like what though? You can't find it. You end up eating it. You end up fucking eating it. It disappears like a Listerine. Fuck that. Alright, but we gotta wrap it up, gang. What a fun one. Yeah, man.

Uh, gang, we love you to death and we'll see you next week. Peace!