Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Hunting for Bigfoot w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: May 24, 2021

Kippy and Foley are back with a HOT one! They answer your questions and talk licking batteries, boiling rockets, and a bunch more garbage. Thanks for listening!  Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AYGLi...veShows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage https://www.JoinHoney.com/Garbage https://www.Hellofresh.com/Garbage12 Promo Code: GARBAGE12 https://www.MintMobile.com/Garbage Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast this is our you garbage it's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians we found out they grew up to be classy or they're just a big old piece of shit I'm your hostage Foley coming at you on a beautiful spring afternoon I'm down here at Antote's basement she's gone for the weekend where's she at what do you
Starting point is 00:00:45 think AC what's she doing AC she's down there at playing the tables probably shaking them up hopped on the bus she somehow got the casino bus to pick her up in front of the house she's flexing on all the other people I don't know how she does yeah my co-host is coming at you from across the table this is a family episode just me and the old Kipper Reno he's the CEO of are you garbage he writes to checks he breaks the next give it up for my best pal Kevin James Ryan hey thanks for tuning in everybody happy to fucking be here just got some good news and I want to get into what's that what happened wait a minute let me see
Starting point is 00:01:28 what could it be that we're doing the the big way in for for my patreon weight loss run that's one thing for the listeners if first of all let's get a little cover a little bit of business if please make sure you write you subscribe on iTunes why wouldn't you full video available on YouTube and as you know those numbers are true true that roofs burning oh I mean we're gonna get we're gonna get a Polish roofer in here take care of it I don't know they tend for a Russian roof and then on the patreon guys you sign up for the patreon.com such are you garbage you get bonus episodes of AYG get episodes of
Starting point is 00:02:06 hard feelings which is mean a big man chopping it up fucking runaway hit baby that's we have more $10 members than $5 members I like it that's fucking that says something about the content on that over patreon like fucking Frank Purdue you create a value in the marketplace yeah okay you give them quality product affordable price yeah and they come running who's Frank Purdue Frank what what are you a bozo Frank Purdue chicken Purdue chicken I didn't I don't know the man personally that's a top-notch chicken out he used to do the commercials in the 80s unless that was an actor oh and then his son's Jim yeah
Starting point is 00:02:43 Jim guy I'm a yeah I know Jim he looks like a chicken I'm old-school Frank and use iodine over everything yeah you can sign up for and then we do a live stream every month with our top tier patrons it's a good fucking time and then this just in the gauntlet was thrown down on an episode of hard feelings we're doing an age fully weight loss challenge all over there on a patreon that's right I'm about to lift 500 bucks off these two losers the deal it easy and clean it's all gonna be covered on the patreon we're gonna do weigh-ins and everything we're doing that right after this so I'm gonna have to
Starting point is 00:03:17 frisky to make sure you don't have any fucking dumbbells in your cargo pants or anything fucking to be fucking loaded playing with loaded dice over here to catch up out of my shirt I think that do we settle on you'll get a hundred bucks 28 pounds 28 pounds and 30 day challenge that's how we're doing we're going old-school radio in here we said 20 and fully was like no way to ease first of all I said I said 20 at a thousand bucks and he goes no way 28 500 okay whatever and let me tell you something I've come to a conclusion I haven't figured it out yet it's like taking broccoli off a fat guy but I'm
Starting point is 00:03:56 gonna why would a fat guy a broccoli yeah candy you um whatever listen what wait is that what the same comes from like taking candy from a baby easy it's also easy to take broccoli from you you're giving it up but the baby wants the candy the fact I wouldn't want the broccoli anyway they're here nor they're easier to take whatever I'm taking five on though from you bottom line wait I'm not giving up any money we already said that I don't have to give up anything I don't lose 500 I can only gain 500 you also look at it beneficially like I can lose 28 pounds I'm listen I'm gonna and that's what I was about to say is I'm
Starting point is 00:04:35 splitting the money with one of the fans oh yeah in this radio DJ yes we know we haven't figured out how but someone's gonna be sitting on gotta be a Patriot someone's gonna be sitting on 250 dollars we can get damn that's fucking that was I mean he's going rogue yep and it's fully had a marketing over here and if he if he makes it through the month and he does it double or nothing the next month yeah I think that's what we're doing maybe not double no we're doing 500 me 500 of you dude yeah but for now they're 28 pounds I'm gonna own this dump in a couple of weeks yeah we're making some changes to the
Starting point is 00:05:11 programming okay yeah you better start from start with you you can't even show up all the time be cutting some dead weight around here first thing I do is fire myself you're just looking at the mirror sorry big man I gotta do it hey dummy you're coming up to works over here I can only I gotta go to the board I can only argue so much so much I have one man can do so that's what we got going on that's gonna be I'm very excited I'm very excited I want you to turn over a fucking new leaf I'm doing the same thing I've been running the every fucking day this week I'm fucking trying to eat right laying off the booze
Starting point is 00:05:46 I'm fucking feeling good I got chipping putt tomorrow at 11 me and cats I mean some sort of new salsa event you show up with your own bag of toast it does where's where's the dip at so I've been doing that did that last Friday I'm doing that tomorrow but now after the way and I don't get 20 I don't get 28 pounds off in a month once a month I can't wait to see the look on your two face when your hand I would be a static good I'm gonna be well get ready to be excited go buy your sparklers now listen if you lose 28 pounds that just means this fucking show goes on for another 18 months okay I'm I'm investing
Starting point is 00:06:26 in my own future save you a couple of bucks on Lipitor it's paying my medical bills yeah so you have that and then we have the other the other big and I just I just got the fucking text I don't he bone presses record I get a text yo this is great third show in Chicago three sold the fuck out sold them out thank you out to fucking Chicago thank you we shit on you a lot Chicago but we love man three fucking sold out shows so by the time you hear this that for show fourth and final I look at the schedule there ain't no other fucking show we can do who you Celine Dion unless we start doing new
Starting point is 00:07:03 nurse okay which I ain't fucking doing a brunch show okay jerk off I will so the four show will be Tuesday I believe the 23rd or 20 I don't know Tuesday they're adding it or that's it I just got the word it's up I talked to the guys on the coast who they said have at it if you can do for do for shout out I'm pulling the plug by the way I ain't doing three sold out and what a half fee all right I'm pulling the fuck I'm calling a bomb threat one's friends and family one's a tune-up game come on come grab tickets Chicago thank you so much Chicago also the same week of Chicago there's gonna be a fuck we're gonna be
Starting point is 00:07:41 an indie so it's gonna go Chicago two shows drive to Indy do Indy Indy come the fuck out let's go back to Chicago you're barris in a Cindy Chicago yeah and then two more in Chicago thank you so fucking much in Atlantic City second show out of there get those fucking tickets June 18 now we appreciate it we love you who business well that was the business to the real business well you know you know the garbaggio what's this does for getting our producer short and air he's a good kid kippy he's a good kid kid he's the magic man he's my comedy buddy we go around we do fucking spots together listen to this listen to listen
Starting point is 00:08:20 to tapes and bits and work on jokes you've never recorded a set ever in the history of your comedy career this out of my voice T-bone McMuffin Toby McMullin everybody what's up dude he's a buddy we had a nice FaceTime last night though didn't we this fucking idiot you yelling at that was a fun funny thing for you this bozo yeah FaceTimes me and and kippy kippy doesn't pick up because he's a smart guy no I was sleeping I know I was up at five o'clock yesterday I was fucking out sleeping yeah I was up at five o'clock okay you like a farmer I was like 11 o'clock yeah I just said I was up at five o'clock and I you take
Starting point is 00:09:03 two naps a day I gotta I gotta figure out my phone calls with you because he if it's 11 to 12 30 he's out three to five out and he knows it he that's why he's laughing he knows it I answered the phone and full by the face time pops up first of all his camera's not on somehow he FaceTime me without activating his camera I go hello and he goes what's this like a 90 year old woman he goes is this a FaceTime and I was like you called me he goes no I didn't the phones in my hand he pocket dialed us from his hand oh I know oh yeah yeah yeah I got to see the key cat dog say hi the kitty cat Toby's little key cat don't don't talk like
Starting point is 00:09:40 that little stank shout out is there any is there any is it garbage to take naps is that trashy yeah man you should accomplish that listen I work way I do more way more stuff than you and I don't take naps I don't feel I don't feel like oh I've worked enough today that I can take a nap really yeah yeah yeah no way gotta stay fresh though what you're not you're a stale as they get as croutons out of this guy fucking Jesus Christ throw you in a microwave for a couple of seconds loosen you up a bit you know did you do that what that's tough look any any bread product in the microwave my mommy's my mommy's I
Starting point is 00:10:23 would hate your own calm for the weight loss challenge I'm gonna be fucking tightening his screws on his bad past I'm gonna be over there with a whistle blow and please only positive encouragement yes yes I'll take care of that that's got I want to hear you can't do it you'll never make it you're a loser also hold on pimple pin for a sec I want to shout out to our fans a lot of podcasts get all negative love radio shows again a lot of negative everybody shit on you guys the our listeners are the nicest the best the most supportive the nicest why we love you on YouTube iTunes wherever it is you're fucking
Starting point is 00:11:01 fantastic I love you where's ice-cold by the way I feel like I'm testifying I love it this thing's great don't be loading up on water weight either all right one bottle per rep you're gonna come back you're gonna come back you jump out of a anyway as we were discussing my mommy should try to get away with fucking pulling frozen hotdog buns out of the freezer and throwing them in the microwave for a couple of seconds while the dogs were on the grill yeah no bueno you see that eat that yeah yeah hit the fucking bridge yeah keep it moving honey yeah nice the nice he's nice he's known for that too a
Starting point is 00:11:36 little bit and I tell you as these broads get older they leave stuff in the freezer that's from like when I used to live there I come back like you still got this loaf of bread fuck we do and it's beef steak it's fucking 299 get it yo I got a little a yg question for the two you bozos do you perfect place to say it he won't please go ahead our doors always open best customer service in the biz what can I do for you today young man do you currently have a bread box what am I a witch no fucking bread box yeah no that was T bone was it yeah that was me texting T bone talk about a production
Starting point is 00:12:18 we're broadcast in here bread box no no we don't have them we don't keep bread in the house I don't do bread my wife is gluten-free so we don't keep bread in the house she's a real stick in the mud when it comes to man when it comes to gluten when it comes to snacks and stuff no snacks maybe some cashew calling ice some peanuts if I'm lucky which is good because I'm an animal some people trying to make him trying to make bread out of peanuts every gluten-free pasta it's like eating shoelaces they do pretty good now because it's it can get like the rice ones or whatever I know what's it called a quinoa pasta ain't too shabby
Starting point is 00:13:03 quinoa's are not bad go a little bite to it you got to cook it up then pay we do the Zoodles zucchini Zoodles what they're called sounds like something I did in college once I did it once he's like your roommate come back all tuned up from a brat party he's doing his fucking trigonometry homework Zoodles no bread boxes yeah but I respect them they were old school you don't have one now do you oh yeah why would you what that's what it did it come with the apartment you guys went out and bought a bread box no I ordered it on Amazon we're gonna keep my bread in the cabinet like a fucking scumbag you
Starting point is 00:13:48 put it on top of a fridge like a gentleman this guy I got a kitty cat he's gonna fucking give me that I'll give you that little stank always going for whatever it fully sounds it's just him and his cat ripping a bag I hide in the Amazon boxes deserve better yeah all right let's fucking let's shift yours it's okay it's a fucking family episode so as you know we we go we ask your questions on patreon when you sign up for patreon we'll answer your garbage questions either with me mean a big man or mean a guest awesome a guest I big man doesn't like me saying this but there is a fucking back lawn the fish are
Starting point is 00:14:27 jumping on the boat so we're working through them give us some fucking time we're getting to everybody but this comment came in on YouTube which is I knew you wanted to comment the comment on YouTube which we get like oh my dad did this my uncle did this and I'm always like yeah me too you can relate whatever you know some of them are wacky this one this one something this was a first in a hundred and some of the episodes we've had I've read every I read and respond to almost every comment this one was this is from a guy named Duke I don't think he is a Duke but he goes hold on Duke can Duke be a first
Starting point is 00:15:06 name or is that's always a nickname nobody's named Duke do you want you hear what his parents do it might be a duke's not short for now I'm surprised his name is not new come okay I had a bad idea I'll get over here all right he goes my folks have a customized van with a giant net on the back that they used to hunt Bigfoot which is a term which is really them just driving around a mountain getting drunk on Keystone light and fireball now could you imagine if your parents actually hunted Bigfoot to the point where they had a modified vehicle that
Starting point is 00:15:47 they drove around plus they're driving around hammered they get pulled over they can toss that cop in the net better luck next year copper I don't get it and listen hunting Bigfoot's trash now my aunt and uncle they hunt the abominable snowman which is class there's scientific people yeah they got skis and everything yeah wait they're not so fucking hillbilly's driving around the foot of a mountain wait a minute I don't know I'm caught up in the the technicals of the trap itself why does putting a net on the back of the van how do you what do you lower Bigfoot in the van with maybe it shoots the net
Starting point is 00:16:28 beef jerky or something what is that a commercial stake on the Johnny trail and a piss-off Sasquatch yeah I don't get that no they bring him in with the fireball squats like to party you just got a six or they're shaking hey she'll do the both of us he gets in there if your parents are earnestly if you come from people who are earnestly hunting Bigfoot you're doomed you're doing a drunk they're pretty unprofessional or very professional it depends how you look at it yeah that's tough that's a fucking tough look I just wanted to shut that was a mindblower although parents more and more they're starting to
Starting point is 00:17:07 say that there's a really good possibility that there is something out there especially in the Pacific Northwest that there could be a creature known as Bigfoot it's just you lost on a camping trip I don't know whatever so now it's fully taken a second nap of the day send that to the writers or boys punch that up a little bit all right let's switch gears let's get into some of the patreon question please and a couple of home runs this one from Joshua ever been on America's funniest home videos come on that's a dude remember watching America's funniest videos home video shot to sag it that guy could
Starting point is 00:17:54 host the fucking program by the way everybody was staying up on something oh man watching that no matter what we were doing in the fully household when it fucking hit eight o'clock that we were running to the TV nothing dude nothing's funnier than like the guy the neighbor getting hit in the nuts with a rake or whatever you show me an American dad that doesn't appreciate someone taking one of the nards and I'll show you a Soviet spy all right that's good clean American nothing better yeah that was a fucking great program did you ever know anybody on it I remember they would like send it in I'd be like mom can we send
Starting point is 00:18:29 it in that I'm like we don't even have a fucking video camera I felt like even in the 90s the tapes were 20 years old well yeah never I mean you know yeah and I feel like when I watch it now the tapes are from the 90s there's not really cell phone footage on there you're watching it now where you watch I've skimmed through it I've skimmed through it a couple of times I've caught it on buddy have you ever heard of YouTube it's not it's not sagging it's the other guy Tom Bergeron that guy's like that's like do talk about vanilla pudding thanks now it's Carlton though it is Carlton who I mean Carlton stinks to I'll
Starting point is 00:19:07 be the first one to say the fact that we're gonna take a hike he's no sagging the fact that we're referring to him as fucking Carlton yeah tells you everything you need to know haven't you made enough money beaded bozoe you're coming up to works do your little dance at home in front of your kids or something I have a question how many pornos do you think were accidentally submitted to America's man the guy doing the production team on that let's fuck you probably had a stash going on headstache taking these home with me and these are no good tracking on them's
Starting point is 00:19:42 all been now there's there's two levels to getting on funny some videos they're sending a tape but never in I don't know where they got the families that actually showed up remember they'd have like the Cooper sitting over there the mom was always wearing like a Mormon dress and she had like weird was always like very light flowing like layered kind yeah tight neck on it dude is that under any situation should we churn in butter or something probably something nice already turn out that old school does that old school like hosiery turn you on what do you mean you know if they like listen it's like the girdle with
Starting point is 00:20:22 it it's like thick it's like cotton but cotton that's like yeah not like not like the sex do I like fishnets and you got a pee pee of course you like fishnets with the fucking yeah I'm just saying that old school not to not too much 70s 80 no get out of here with that now like a girdle now anything like something from a league of the road like the pointy cups or something those fucking round take the fucking belt sounder belt sander around them things couldn't even make Madonna look hot in that movie killing me over here I can try pretty hard not to make Madonna look like a fucking three kid was a race
Starting point is 00:21:01 car back in 90s Madonna can we can we watch a league of their own again want to watch the Phillies nope this kid just won't stop watching like a prayer I don't know what it is kid likes the song that was a weird situation being on fucking America's funniest home videos that's squad like fake would yeah that's what I'm saying there's no way we didn't have a taper cool and I was also being like how what wackos are just filming this stuff all the time no thank you fucking goober families the video recorder came around once every in a
Starting point is 00:21:45 great while the dad that had that always had his shirt tucked in like he had his like you know he had like a dress shirt like a and he was usually up to something he was caught doing something years zooming in some zooming in on something yeah never trusted a dad with a fucking camcorder I remember an uncle showed up one time to like a Thanksgiving dude and no dude my family acted like the mop like we were the mob and the news just no pictures no pictures hey J. Edgar Hoover fucking yeah they were like no fucking thank you he was not performing he was labeled as a snitch in the 90s real quick fucking
Starting point is 00:22:28 shout out the truck of a car in front of Macamanco's I remember yeah I remember like we all walked outside never like the fucks his deal and they're fucking say say something for the camera hit the bridge hey you see these rocks fucking kick a performance is different that's when the video camera got broken out if somebody was doing you guys had you were a video camera family I mean I really wasn't what my cousins were like I can remember like you know my cousin's doing some things and like you know her dad would like would film it you know I'm big guy huh the channel six guy the one on the yeah would like something like
Starting point is 00:23:03 that but we never really broke it out around the house while we were getting all boozed up and fucking you know get out of here it's not people of a we sure yeah it's a goddamn christening for Christ's sake are punching your dad I don't get that shit I feel like the Foley's were still using shoulder mounted VHS and the DVD era yeah they probably if I have a guarantee of your bomb probably wouldn't even use herself they would my deal she would dust off some fucking now some old RCA type she ain't filming shit she'll take a she'll take a picture she's on a camera she do her phone huh she like a phone or she
Starting point is 00:23:42 got she bust out like a disposable camera but now we ain't winding that thing up she one of those old school ones throws the hood over now she uses now she first of all she doesn't take pictures she doesn't know how to witnesses she doesn't know how to use this for this iPhone she has she doesn't know how to use it to such a degree it's amazing she knows how to answer it I swear to God yeah but for a while right before cell phones with cameras started taking off yeah she had the little little square John that everybody had you know that zoomed out me you never looked at the pictures no did you ever have a uncle or
Starting point is 00:24:18 something go plug the VHS camera straight into the TV to try and show the video and then it's just like four minutes of footage of him like accidentally filming himself we're like how the fuck just didn't work yeah yeah no editing you're watching the dailies yeah yeah it's all fucking shaky and shit yeah this will be good after a little color correction yeah how about we do a first pass on this okay not looking for the final couple at least of something yeah that's trash man what a great great question man America's funniest videos garbage hey gang quick word from our new sponsor hello fresh
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Starting point is 00:25:33 recipes and quick breakfast lunches and snacks perfect for your busy schedule they sent me and the big man each a big box of stuff big man what do you got I was a little skeptical at first yeah I go downstairs there's this box down there I bring it up everything's packed to perfection ice cold we they sent shrimp they sent pork they sent chicken so first order of business that night my girl whips up Cajun shrimp all right over top of kale whoo with crispy sweet potatoes yeah and like this like yogurt sauce on top I'm listening unbelievable you got the low calorie option it's fantastic yeah pretty good
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Starting point is 00:27:01 am I right kippy they get you coming and going they get you coming and going so when the gang over here first heard about mint mobiles offer for premium wireless service starting at 15 bucks a month we were like there's gotta be something behind it here it is nope there ain't it's all legit there isn't a catch when it comes to mint mobile mint mobile secret sauce is that they're the first company to sell wireless service online by cutting out retail stores there's no crazy overhead there's no crazy costs and anything that they save is being passed on down to you oh baby straight to the consumer oh yeah honestly my wife has been using uh mint mobile for like two or three years now told me uh when she was traveling here from from europe we needed a cell phone for and we
Starting point is 00:27:47 didn't want to get you know the big contracts or anything they don't get locked in things might not work out yeah they hand cuff you for like two three years so we got mint mobile and she just kept renewing it and it's perfect 15 bucks a month crazy all the internet you need calls text whatever you need it's easy peasy for people looking for extra savings mint mobiles offers premium wireless that's just 15 bucks a month it'd be stupid to pass it up and if you're not 100 percent satisfied with mint mobile they have you covered with their seven day money back guarantee you don't like it don't matter get your money back good night you know what i mean big man and even if it's 15 bucks what do you know what i mean i'm missing out on anything no contract no yeah you could use your
Starting point is 00:28:25 same phone your same phone number whatever you need it's easy peasy to make the switch uh to get your new wireless plan for fifth for just 15 bucks a month uh and get the plan shipped straight to your door for free go to mint mobile dot com slash garbage one more time baby mint mobile dot com slash garbage cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month with mint mobile dot com slash garbage do it gang we all shop online oh yeah and we've seen the promo code area yeah just sitting there and if you ain't got one you feel like a real dork yeah man bozo central about to pay full price like a shucker yeah all right uh but thanks to honey manually searching for coupons on the internet it's gonna be a thing of the past honey is the free shopping tool that scours the internet
Starting point is 00:29:11 for promo codes and applies the best ones it finds to your court all right honey supports over 30 000 stores online they range from sites that have tech and gaming products to popular fashion products even food delivery yeah they got it all baby imagine you're shopping you know imagine you're shopping for one of your favorite sites anywhere when you check out the honey button drops down all you have to do is click apply coupons and they do all the work for you crazy it's easy peasy no more you know i feel like an idiot i go like google and go like i used to go to like google and go like blah blah blah dot com promo code you feel like an idiot then you get one it doesn't work honey does all that for you when we were building the studio me and t-bone were buying stuff on
Starting point is 00:29:51 amazon like crazy just using we were online finding this finding that threw it through the honey thing talk about wet and our beaks clean living saving a couple of bucks ain't nothing wrong with it i'm telling you it's free money check it out i think we're the lights i think we got a discount on some of the chachkies in the back we got discounts on tripod still tripod i forgot about the tripod um honey has over 17 million members and that have saved over two billion dollars Jesus billion would have been it's serious game yeah so if you don't already have harnashian money if you don't already have honey you're missing out that's the end of it it's literally free installs in a few seconds onto your browser and by getting it you'll be doing yourself a solid
Starting point is 00:30:36 and supporting this podcast yes if you get it you support us if you like us you don't want to join a patreon you don't want to do this by t-shirt whatever you can support us easy peasy just by shopping there you go you know what i mean i never recommend something i don't use my wife is huge on it get honey for free uh at join honey dot com slash garbage one more time guys write it down type it in join honey dot com slash garbage now back to the show um all right let's see this is from chris it just says soda with breakfast question mark which listen it's trashy it is trashy soda is not a breakfast drink disagree i do like it no it's trash it's good i don't think i what do you mean you don't think so i would like to present my argument please because there's no
Starting point is 00:31:24 fact that says listen we do it but there's no factual information that says it's not part of a balanced breakfast i'll tell you that much okay allow me to sure respond there is no difference between a cup of coffee and a carbonated cola beverage there sure is no there's not yes no there's not if you want sense if you put cream and sugar in your coffee that's the same as having the soda which i do not condone despite my size but a diet coke with an omelet nothing wrong with it that's just as good as having a cup of coffee also you shouldn't know because you're a bite and sip so you don't bite and sip with the coffee you bite and sip with the soda i bite and sip with coffee all the time with hot coffee yeah an omelet yeah i don't think so i do you're saying
Starting point is 00:32:12 no i do i've been i've eaten 10 000 meals with you i've never seen it i well first of all i don't get hot coffee i'm not a fucking nine-year woman i get a nice coffee yeah so that that's that that conversation is mute your that argument is mute so what's the difference between having a nice coffee and a diet soda nothing i still bite and sip on both sure i understand there is a difference between a bite and sip with a hot coffee though you have to give me that caffeine content alone caffeine content alone i think there's more in diet coke than there is in coffee 34 milligrams in diet coke 95 milligrams in coffee jesus christ that's weird because a diet coke usually hits me harder than regular coffee um shit whacks you out will you drink more of it than coffee tip true
Starting point is 00:32:52 you know what i mean get a two tree refills if they're delicious but no it is you got free refills at the at the airport on diet coke i remember that yeah i was stunned by that um well the first one was nine fifties so they might as well have already hit me over the head for three of them uh no but in no place no commercials for breakfast whenever it's an ego commercial a fucking english muffin commercial a fucking cereal commercial the tray's coming in there's never a glass of fucking screaming cold dc on there okay milk juice anything like that that's what it is okay coffee milk juice that's a breakfast drink phanta part of a balance break yeah get the fuck out of you got orange mouth and shit it's trash and it is kind of psychopathic behavior but i like it
Starting point is 00:33:44 yeah i like it too over the pandemic when i was cooking every i was cooking breakfast every morning i'd sit down with a fucking screaming cold coke zero good not talking about kicking things off yeah holy shit um but it's trash okay i'm glad you rolled over on that one appreciate that that's what i do the old rollover um this one's just i don't even get this is from geronimo in case it's not been done already uh ever use a fire engine to water your lawn what the fuck i don't fucking know what is a fire what are you a fire fighter how the fuck did you get that thing to come out the wall and how big's the lawn what's that a busy weekend i don't get that that's fucking ever use a fire i think we filled our pool one time with it what where'd you get it
Starting point is 00:34:36 where do you mean i got to the mall what do you mean where do you think we got it the i think the fire department at one point was like in charge of it no no that costs money because i call i remember it costs money okay because my mom always complains about how much do you fill yours the sink our pool yeah the hose to take 15 years takes a couple of days yeah it does that's a big pool too by the way huge yeah but she always complains about that at the beginning of the year because they're water built skyrockets when we fill the pool they ain't doing that for free no i remember i think i remember it was like we had to pay from the come out and they turned like we used their hose and they hooked up to the fucking i think they hooked up to the hydrant
Starting point is 00:35:14 with that thing was building like 15 seconds i was waiting there with my swimmies on i don't fucking die it was cold as ice dude i remember that man it was like all that shit's coming from middle earth there's a polar bear fucking he is doing back flips in that man you looked at would have run one long enough in the summer time that chickens are taking yeah it's kind of i think yeah like hooked up the pole in spring or something i don't know what's up that shit's great yeah uh and then this is also in the same vein this is a tag on question which we've talked about our our pool is real cold for the first couple of weeks anyway because our pool she only has to fill up like three quarters or she only has to fill up like that's the rain do the rest
Starting point is 00:35:59 she'll fall for rain next week she only fills up like a quarter of the pool because the pool stays filled through the whole year we don't empty we don't drain our pool it's just as a cover on it and has chemicals in it so it doesn't freeze yeah so she just adds a little bit more water shocks it throws the chlorine in there cleans it all out or whatever it is and then we go so that water at the bottom of that pool has been in there that's what they used for the vaccine go get some gunk from the foliage no it's been in there all winter and you can tell winter water dude i just did you mind you see my hand just do that that was that was i literally got the fucking heat dude it's it's ice cold it's like fucking cryo fucking treatment find the lakers in
Starting point is 00:36:47 there it's fucking bolt didn't use his head's floating there ice cold to ever tell you this story me and my buddy me and shot to my boy pat we got drunk in college and at home like it had like in the summer one night and then we were going back to his we were at a house party and we like walked through the woods and we got stuck and it was like five in the morning four in the morning we got stuck in a thing of sticker bushes like to the point dude he fell and i'm like dude we were just you were just getting cut like it looked like it looked like we got attacked by fucking werewolves and we're bleeding all over the place and i'm we get to the point where we're like it got slightly getting worse and worse then we were just stuck for where we couldn't move
Starting point is 00:37:22 or you couldn't stop because you would just be fucking hemmed up so you had to keep fucking pushing through and he fell man and he's gone i'm like i'll pull you up because don't eat so i pull him he's he's so fucked up he's going just leave me man just fucking save yourself dude go get help leave me i'm like i'm not gonna do it how do we finally we get out of it dude and we get he's like we get back and we're like we hug when we get out we're crying we're in tears you're just a real tough guy dude we're just in pain it looks like we fought like dude it's just slices everywhere now we're starting to swell up and stuff because it's like so much trauma to the skin just because it's like we had thousands of fucking cuts all over us so we get back to his
Starting point is 00:38:03 pool and we're like i just want to jump in the pool and clean everything out we don't know his dad shocked the pool before he went to bed dude i fucking swan dove in and we immediately both come up in tears dude his dad woke up from us you get screaming crying in the backyard he's like what the fuck are you idiots doing it's two grown men fucking laying back there bloody and crying he's like what the fuck you assholes doing oh man my dude i had that was a story my mom's like what the fuck happened to your arms and legs i'm like the teller i got stuck in the woods is a grown man is a tough look you lost me at picker bushes fucking bushes they went back in the day a couple of thorn bushes they get you
Starting point is 00:38:48 i get it dude talking that's the definition i hand up man going through trails woods trails when you were a kid if somebody was ahead of you and they would catch a branch of pickies and then it would swing back and just oh my god you felt like you were forging the amazon holy shit brutal this one's from dylan to tag on to your pool because you're in a above ground pool kind of family yes we are um above ground pools and microwave hot and we've talked about this ever make a whirlpool in an above ground pool which is the highest benefit of the above ground pool is the whirlpool would you like to know something what mine's so big it can't i was thinking that when i read that question today and you have an oval too you're not a straight circle it's gotta be tough
Starting point is 00:39:32 for you to get momentum going but the one we had in wilkesbury you could and let me tell you something we got that thing cooking fucking drowned the kraken in that thing yeah thing was hot it's like an at-home lazy river how do you do it you just get a couple of boys a couple of buddies a couple of hymns and you swim in the same direction for like a couple of minutes and that gets all the water just swirling around and if like you get it moving quick enough with a cut if you had a couple of older kids they can really get it oh yeah throw in a floater too and then and then have some so you literally like can't swim the opposite way you're just like kind of swimming in place and then grab an older cousin on the fucking uh on like the the the floaty to start
Starting point is 00:40:16 boogie board then you got some waves going yeah now you got the perfect storm you're playing george cloney yeah it's like the it's like getting caught in the inlet you're getting it from every angle yeah it's great and undertow there is nothing good about an above ground pool i you're crazy i bet get yourself in a whirlpool as a seven-year-old that's a good fucking time that is a good fucking time yeah and i am an anti i am anti above ground pool but that's clean living in the summertime as a kid nothing i wouldn't mind when right now to be honest with you a couple of fucking butt heavies cruising around throw the fills on let's do it yeah um all right this one's from comment deleted are there any windows in your house propped up with a
Starting point is 00:41:01 household item like it just falls and you have to prop it open not at my parents now not not am i don't act like they're like the fucking the keystone of fucking they got the windows they they have windows last time i was there you were missing a wall they were in the middle of construction sure it's it's all really it's all done now it's all nice looks great yeah fantastic oh i'm glad that the drywall is not exposed anymore it looks great no it still is it's put a little knickknacks on the inside metal studs hide weed in there it's nice um no nothing like that my apartment that i lived in with my boy uh i was living in yeah here's up no in new york in my first about when i moved up here that window was broken forever and we used to smoke inside
Starting point is 00:41:46 and you just have to prop it open with a plastic snapple bottle and that snapple bottle stayed there for i'm talking the five years i lived there that was the same snapple bottle was it filled no it was empty was it raspberry diet it was what you've definitely propped open that window with that bottle i think it was a raspberry a couple of bernie's back yeah if you're propping a window no shot there's a screen no you need to put your hand out there to ash like a gentleman smoking inside man really hits different it's crazy yeah you feel really good we have a buddy that just bought an apartment in new york and i go over there late night to have a couple of beers and we can smoke bernie's in his apartment it's crazy real nice this guy plays by his own rules
Starting point is 00:42:28 this guy's bonka it's crazy um all right this one's from a little homie know anyone with an ipatch an ipatch says a lot about or you know it leaves a lot open for interpretation you catch a guy with an ipatch i've had it with him periodically pirates of the caribbean now scratching my if i scratch my eye with my contacts but nobody that wore one steadily now really fucks up your depth perception i bought one one time as a kid at a right aid well you know why the pirates wore them it wasn't because they were i was fucked up they kept one eye covered so that when they walked down into the into the ship they could switch over and they could flip it up and they could see oh that's pretty good so they could see quickly man you ever get hemmed up in the bathroom in
Starting point is 00:43:13 the middle of the night when you turn the lights on feels like someone just threw a flashbang in there i can't see shit dude that's a fucking you flip the lights on too fast and you're not ready it's like putting your head in the vice i i once saw a guy pull a glass eye out and throw it into a cup during a game of beer pong what no ship people you fucking associate with are great a dirt ball yeah no kidding it was fucking nuts take his keys for the weekend oh man t-bone has the homies coming out and i was like dude i cannot wait how many how many people are coming 11 11 homies got the got the news and it was like we're gonna be there not one hotel room among them no by the way they are a double tree 11 homies and 15 duis i wouldn't ask any of
Starting point is 00:44:01 them for any clean piss i thought you said they were all staying with you like four or five of them probably oh god that shower it's gonna smell like a bum's nuts acting at play here um get the cat a hotel at least stretch out a little bit he's bozo's coming in oh yeah he's gonna be hiding yeah i would be too i don't i don't blame the guy so i'd be in the bread box so was the neighbors this got food and water shout out to him shout out to him he said uh um he texted me he said yeah i got like 11 homies coming out and they're exactly how fully pictures them oh man i'd love to see the attire at that funeral not one not one decent suit among the bunch i bet do you get a suit yet
Starting point is 00:44:47 tomorrow this guy's gonna have one on i don't know but i could see his voice he shows up in a tuxedo t-shirt i do have there is one friend who is wearing like pants from my boy kev and then his shirt from my homie tim it's bad news oh that guy man good dude a couple of bezos you want to know what his name is bozo goober yams great dude yams is coming what's up bro yeah you know why we call him yams 180 kick flip the yam is crazy he shreds this guy eats more sweet potatoes than anybody i know listen i don't like him he stole my mom's wedding ring but the kid can shred stole my mom's shout out to yams dude yams is the only person i ever saw do that like do that like sitcom move of paying a credit card bill with another credit card oh yeah yeah that's
Starting point is 00:45:47 a bit i've done that no i haven't i've wanted to i've never had the extra credit card $200 credit limit dead out of here that's what you got two i thought it was five no you're five i'm two really you thought you got two this whole time wow that's how not in charge of your finances you are you thought you had my credit limit i knew one of us had bad credit i just figured it was me oh man driver kia shout out to the kia by the way um bup bup bup bup bup uh toby said it best hope we got in the car the other day and he goes this is a nice car if you've never had a nice car i was like exactly because these are nice cars for people who don't have never had a nice car yeah the key in the key name is tough but they look pretty good you gotta admit t bone the key is
Starting point is 00:46:37 not i got i got the fucking i might as well have like a projector in that thing i got a big flat screen on that bad boy i wouldn't call it big you ever been to tesla no it still looks russian that's the only thing it looks like so do you hello i open you up there's just little follies inside that's gonna be his trick for the weight loss challenge couldn't breathe in there uh yeah it just looks like a kia it looks like a car from like another world or like an alternate universe so always come back to comic books with you maybe um all right here let's get back to the action shoot it all right this one's from kasey ever know ever knows they just say ever it's so funny that this is their this is how they ask them ever know someone to propose via the megatron
Starting point is 00:47:22 at a stadium the jumbo tron first of all getting on the jumbo tron as a kid did they write megatron they said megatron yeah i guess i guess it is jumbo tron that's so trashy yeah it's definitely jumbo yeah uh do you ever know anybody married on a transformer um getting i remember as a kid at like a flyers game getting on the jumbo tron was the height of fame the height of success if you could do something to get that on you what did you do i was fucking bragging the next day at lunch i was recreating it i think you get over here so here's my dad i'm fucking anybody having to catch the capital's game last night anybody see when the camera panned a section 218 anybody see a fat kid eating a pretzel if you ever wind up on the jumbo tron do yourself a favor
Starting point is 00:48:16 look down the barrel of the camera don't be the bozo looking up yeah well you want to see yourself it's a once in a lifetime opportunity to catch what he did be a professional well if you don't see yourself on the jumbo tron are you really on the jumbo tron you can catch yourself later on the highlights who knows you're gonna make the highlights you'll make the highlights no no or the rebroad listen don't listen to these two fucking i hate people that when the camera's over here and people are doing this i want you to live your best life now you're embarrassing yourself stop it if you're ever at a game and you get the chance to be on a fucking jumbo tron throw your papers up to the megatron and take a look at yourself and who's this fucking dirtball kissing everybody's girlfriend
Starting point is 00:48:55 that's what i don't those are set up are they yeah no no i got on a kiss cam one time yeah kiss cans aren't set up but when they go for the kiss and she says no or he says no then he turns over to the other girl those are all set up our buddy connor tried to get us to write those so this was maybe like four or five years ago uh-huh realize these moments can go viral that you can produce these jumbo tron moments that'll then go viral for like the team okay they're just free advertising for the team so all they all started doing that so our buddy started working for the sixers we were like we were writing sketches for that or like he was like hey come up with like 10 ideas i don't remember this yeah and he was like for and you guys will come down and you'll be like the
Starting point is 00:49:40 in-house jumbo tron actors i don't remember that at all yeah and he was like yeah is there any money changed hands on this uh we took a retainer we did no no no no no no no came home to the piece mom i just hit the optimus prime time yeah i'll be on the megatron mom transformers fat guys in disguise where's my foam finger i've got some work down in case there's a foam finger a pennant i need a foam finger and a footlon hotdog no questions asked uh yeah so they so that's those are all viral things of like the dance challenges and stuff like that were like the nerdy white guy just all the sudden is the greatest dancer and whatever they're all scripted i hate so they go viral all that shit about the fucking game especially at baseball games
Starting point is 00:50:30 and i do that fucking bullshit except for the fanatic when he's dancing on the dugout that's class i mean yeah that's fucking that's top notch right there that big belly floating around you can't fucking he's got like a gyro system in him or something can't buy that yeah nothing like the fanatic or i'll give you i think it's in milwaukee when the hotdogs chase each other around the stadium or the freeze is pretty good what's the freeze i don't know what the guy that's super fast yeah and he catches everybody yeah he fucking stops smoking yeah yeah fucking leaves those dudes high and dry man he'd hunt my fat ass down real quick give you a three-week head start he's still letting you can be in the golf cart let me start in the first inning oh man that's fucking anything
Starting point is 00:51:11 and i mean anything remotely that revolves around the jumbo tron whether it's uh in memoriam it doesn't matter what it is it's fucking trash you know what i get way too involved when they were like asking your girl to to get married in public is fucking garbage if more than if more than you and your girlfriend are okay ready if more than you and her father whoever is closer family or do i like it well i'm just saying usually ask permission did you yeah you did gentlemen i like that now sometimes obviously situations arise where you know the old man's not in the picture you know what i mean so you don't you don't do that that's why i put on the jumbo tron so we can see it from heaven is his tv big enough so we can see it so we can see it from jail away up there
Starting point is 00:52:05 so we can see it from the can is more like it or whatever it's fucking trailer park he's living in a north dakota now if an engagement involves anybody but you and her it's trash now you can have the family come and have them like incognito you know what i mean okay but that's it when you're getting too elaborate like when you're involving the cops and shit like that remember that one video one where they like they they cuffed the guy yeah get your hands off and he's like will you marry me it's like yo you fucking dork first of all you're at a you're at a shell gas i know what is all hopped up on premium man i see a lot of people that shouldn't be getting married why are you looking at me huh um fuck what was i gonna say also i get way too involved at least as a kid i haven't
Starting point is 00:52:56 been to a game in a obviously pandemic and everything but i remember being so fucking hype when they would like ask i always wanted to be the guy they asked a quite like the trivia question to you fucking loser and they wanted they wanted to be like and i they would ask always some fucking bozo in the fifth row be like who is the whatever what where's like they would do like the three card monty with the pucks at the flyers game and you had to follow like the wb mason whatever the logo to win free tickets or something shout out to wb mason those guys are all over the place i don't know how they're in business i think they're trash they're hemorrhaging fucking money and advertising but we're talking about them toby bleep up so they uh and he'd be like we'd be
Starting point is 00:53:37 screaming like it's on the left and you're like yelling the right answer and like he gets it wrong like god damn it you're all fucking man oh you are a trashy sports fan have you ever seen someone get booed at a sports game like a fan no like a like a like a player like like ever you ever been involved in like a like a full bore stadium wide boo yeah what it's the best have you ever seen sports before who is this guy fucking skater joe over here kidding me um yeah filly's boo everybody yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah well i forget you guys like famous for that oh yeah boo everybody also check out wing boo ourselves if you're not familiar i've buddy spent a couple of months there one night dude the wing bowl do you know what the
Starting point is 00:54:21 wing bowl is so racist chicken wing you can slice it any way you want whatever you however you want to paint it but it is so the wing bowl is a thing uh in local philadelphia legend i don't know if they still do it anymore are your headphones unplugged or something they keep coming undone yeah okay um why are you looking at me you're the one stepping on them i wasn't stepping on them i was just looking at the ball of not that it's wrapped up in well you can fix it i'm i'm not a production guy here on our talent to my contract oh you need talent to be a talent oh i oh you hired me oh it's gonna reflect in your your fucking paycheck this month god without a laugh that was just incredibly rude you got it double backed on it um yeah yeah wing bowl is a wing eating
Starting point is 00:55:19 contest in philadelphia that like there's months leading up to it then they do it the night before the super bowl of the friday before the super bowl and it's mayhem like they do it at six a.m so i don't do it anymore first of all whatever the one year i went we started we went down at midnight and doors open at six a.m do not like my friends are doing acid musher like it's fucking it's the biggest dirt ball every dirt ball to tri-state area comes out to this thing and i'm talking fights that dude's eating dragon wings dude i'm talking fucking fist fights booing throwing change at pee like it's chaos it's nuts don't they do the anthem though before isn't it don't they play the national anthem dude i'm talking there would be there was fist
Starting point is 00:56:03 fights in the cops now the cops are in there because those those poor security guards and the red the red shirts ain't doing it they they're it's k the cops are in there and the cops are punching dude and they're just spraying pepper spray like in section 112 just fucking dousing everybody it's crazy but they followed up with a little blue cheese spray i'm more of a ranch man myself you got any celery over throw a couple of carrots over here we it's a fucking scene anything involving anything like let's get this clear is fucking garbage if you get more than 30 people together in philadelphia they're throwing batteries there's gonna be a fight yeah there's good yes for sure for trash yeah the jumbo tron man we used to do that we used to do the mummers
Starting point is 00:56:51 we used to do the fucking the wingbowl we were like we've done every parade like we were we've ran into every time that when the philly's one of the egos one we ran to the fucking ride we were like real i'm looking back i'm like parades are a really tough look backpack full of beers just like spraying them and screaming man man if i could have my 20s back and early 30s parades are trash um all right this one's a fucking hr home run yeah uh this is from braxton do you or does anyone in your family pronounce the l in the word tortilla or quesadilla or the jay in jalapeno a jalapeno jalapeno tortilla chips tortilla i yeah there's for sure my family's too big for this to not happen i'm sure i've heard it and there's like a hundred there's like probably
Starting point is 00:57:44 200 of us there's definitely a couple uh quesadillas tortillas quesadilla tortillas for sure tortilla chips for sure yeah get the tortilla chips man her's restaurant style tortilla chips good the knock off brain go tostino if you're buying anything maybe some of the new ones the tostinos ones are too thin though the restaurant ones and they're fucking like the size of frisbees it's like a bat we got to break them apart you can't even get it in whatever reciprocal your tip it's like a fucking airplane wing it's like a hand glider trying to get my salsa on that's why you always go scoops go with the scoops scoops you get a nice big guy you got to take care of them though you got to treat them like fucking a faberge egg because you you got a bunch
Starting point is 00:58:30 of broken scoops you're dead in the water yeah you need those things solid uh-huh they're unbelievable but then also the scoops when you get to the bottom of the bag with the scoops you got nothing nothing with at least with the restaurant style you get a half a chip a quarter of a chip or you could do a little tip you can't be it's like a finger now you're trying to pick up you know what's great is the it's really trashy but finding a curled up fucking tortilla chip those are awesome make your own taco with those things you can hang pendant one of them things dude that's like riding the rip girl really load up yeah they're fucking up the tortilla chip in 2021 we should have a genetically engineered chip that it comes out a certain way and it should be
Starting point is 00:59:14 and you think you're good you're talking about genetic engineered chips you think you're to lose 28 pounds in 30 days once i get this solved yeah which i cracked this case you would need to twirl has to take his lab coat off to put his running shoes on you would need to you need to twirl a part of it it should always be that you have a lip you're looking for something yeah all right well just not an attempt chip stink get that one good one you know you only get that one good one nice fresh thing of salsa good night you don't stand you're crazy you're crazy okay okay and i'm splitting it with a fan that's i forgot about that that's nuts great why don't you think of that i don't know you this is what i think you probably owe someone 250 and you're gonna make
Starting point is 01:00:07 you're gonna make them win the content and the winner is my uncle steve the winner is my brother shout out to my brother everybody shout out to con Edison energy for winning the 250 splitting big fans over there kind of this oh shout yeah shout out to bill matrix everybody yeah tammy at spectrum cable you just won 250 dollars and i got my cable turn back splitting it with a fan um this one's from joe mullet mellett mallett i don't know how trashy you are i like mullett m e l l e t mullett i like mullett joe mullett it's good it's good name solid name joe mullett new patreon member that's a guy you call yeah i'd yeah joe mullett
Starting point is 01:00:58 will take care of you yeah he's coming off the bench and he's going right into the penalty box yeah now he's handling something he's doing something around the house see he's your guy insurance guy i was leading insurance we use you're in like a pair of dockers we use joe mullett that's who we use oh your insurance guy yeah he got mom in a nice 401k joe mullett joe mullett sounds like a hockey player to me i'll give you that a little aid to rangers joe mullett coming off the bench come on he didn't even wear gloves no teeth didn't use a stick uh this is from joey mullett uh new patreon member here yeah anybody in your family ever own a portable handheld tv yes my aunt kathy was big on them really yeah i had one of those i'm talking one of the little sony ones that like when you look
Starting point is 01:01:51 at it now looked like an iphone it was like a little sony one and it worked it's fucking yeah they did work it worked took it all the way to the front porch you got cable hooked up to the side of it now she would have it for like church and uh like she'd be watching in church well she can't miss her story skip maybe not like actual proper mass but if it was like somebody's like christening or graduation and there was like a something big yeah feels were on or something yeah it feels on or the eagles were on or something like that we had that just to fucking make sure we keep tabs yeah that's it's for sporting events it'd be weird if you were watching the news on it or something you know what i mean yeah just seeing what was going on yeah um we're gonna have to take those
Starting point is 01:02:34 boogers off your pants before we weigh it by the way well you know we're not the way you make it too you know what's uh you know what's or at least in your ugly really trashy is there's been multiple times where a wedding or something coincided with a huge huge filled off and they rolled a tv in like i mean like Penn State Ohio State or something like that and as soon as you get to the reception all the guys fucking right to the bar fucking glued to the tv all standing fucking back yeah trash trash thing but i get it uh we had one my step that was the king of having like cutting-edge technology 10 years too late right so like he shows up with like uh he showed up with a with a handheld tv literally like iphone like one of the ones like that no those things were
Starting point is 01:03:25 super trash the cooler ones the lunchbox thing it's a brick they were like oddly long yeah no way like the tube went really he had one like a handheld and we like pull it up like a walkie talkie kind of yeah that's what i'm talking about but he would try to flex with it way too late but yeah like like a year ago take it out of the family party or something or like Jesus Christ yeah it only takes 12 debaters yeah exactly who's got battered let me get him out of the remote we're like dude this Christ what are you doing fucking embarrassing me now they took the weird ones what were the really really big ones the d's or the nine volts were the squares with the two little reciprocals like the nine volts i'll give you because they would you put them in in the fire
Starting point is 01:04:04 alarm plus you want to fucking lighten up a day lick one of them they were fun to stick on your tongue i don't put it i don't put some pep in your step fuck a blue chew get one of them bad boys yeah those things are great i remember we discovered that you could do that i can get the little kids hey come here i can put no i'm talking about the big johns the d's or the really big ones no is that what they were d's wait these were the big circle cylinders are kind of like a set of brass knuckles kind of yeah what are the what are what are they're abcd no a's are the little guys yeah you have you have triple a's but then it went to d i don't know what c's were i think c's are just a regular like like once in the commercial like the duris
Starting point is 01:04:45 all battery they're double a's no no no the bigger they're bigger ones they were for like toys back in the day the big d's is the one i'm talking about those things when you need it one of those good fucking luck you had to go to radio shack and fucking three towns over nobody had those things yeah those huge ones i don't know this is all wonky to me what is a d battery then yeah it's a bit battery was just what i thought a c battery was that's what i'm saying the d's are the really big ones the ones that nobody ever had you had like two of them in the drawer that's it and you always needed like seven of them i don't know it was always because we had a big track when i was a kid no not these not these mammajamas that'll that'll power the house no the big boys right there two
Starting point is 01:05:27 won't yeah there you go yeah indeed that's it look the same as that no they're not they're smaller okay fucking pinhead i'm telling you six times because we had a big track when i was a kid a what a big track is that you don't know what a big track is it was a programmable uh like space vehicle it was a toy but you could program it and it would elon relax will you it would go like four feet turn right turn left again and then it would like empty it's it's dump truck would open big track they were called and they took serious bad like you need like 40d batteries to get this thing going for half an hour sounds like cutting egg tech technology back in this was it probably this was probably christmas 1981 all right well that brings this up
Starting point is 01:06:17 this is this is from nick and this was big in my family and it's a did you or any of your cousins or if you're a parent you do this now skip this step when putting stickers on your kids hot wheels tracks do you remember that we were the bells and whistles never got assembled we were my dad would put the make the thing functional then the stickers the lights the trinkets they all went by the way side we were real meat and potatoes when it came to when it came to stuff putting models together putting gi joe things together star wars things together stuff like that stickers were optional they never made not to mention stickers were usually ripped into first and those were getting slapped on a dog or something yeah yeah they never made it on the hot wheels you know we were
Starting point is 01:07:10 terrible i didn't have to steady hand as a kid to do that no way i got fucking yeah i got peanut butter all over my fingers and fucking parkinson speed over here that was no good dude as a kid nothing worse than a wrinkly sticker sticker wrinkle can't get it out and my dad was like i just did this for an hour i ain't putting the fucking stickers on jerk off fucking have at it did you ever build models when you were a kid no no no i remember somebody for like christmas an uncle and cousin somebody some schmuck that wasn't that close to me gave me a fucking somebody fucked up at the factory this thing put somebody somebody gave me like a paper plane book like how to make like proper sturdy paper plane so i'm like and it came with like thick paper i'm like i'll give this
Starting point is 01:07:59 a shot for five fucking minutes meanwhile look who i've looked over at somebody i was like yo wrap get the fucking gift receipt for this thing this thing hey mom get the paperwork on this way this thing's going the fuck back somebody find a fucking hobby lobby and drop me off on the way you because this thing ain't fucking coming in the house i know that much hobby stores are a tough look it's kind of a toy store you know it was weird yeah the guy working the front desk whack talking about a fucking chest of the molester hit the hit the bricks allied hobby will you i'm talking bald guy with pony tail oh yeah yeah yeah glasses
Starting point is 01:08:50 probably had a hog on him no uh dude because we because we were in the planes and shit like that when we were kids and my brother especially what buying two seats steep all extended my brother got into fucking models for a little while we're not talking victoria secret we're talking mesher schmidt 109s we're talking virgin 202s that's so funny because i remember my one my one buddy's dad at like a whole setup downstairs with like it like he was it was like an architect set up but it was just for models like he had like the special light and the tweezers and all that stuff i was just when your dad goes and not get laid but anyway they were tough man but i was gonna ask you their stickers do you know you put
Starting point is 01:09:51 stickers on models you had to put them in water first too much for me dude how the fuck is an eight-year-old supposed to fucking do that our planes came out all gunked up with glue and stuff it never looked like anything remote on the fucking on the pack i did get into rockets for like a two three week period johnny rockets hell of a milkshake uh no remember i don't i don't know what that was 90s it was 90s i don't know we weren't fucking with anything like that those things were like you put the that's a weapon engine well that's what was that's a projectile that was that's i didn't care that it was a rocket i go i'm gonna fucking blast this thing the fuck off let's go the explosion part was cool to me i didn't care it was i didn't give a fuck about rockets
Starting point is 01:10:37 and i remember we did something in school you went in for the humanity no i was in it i was like let's fucking torch something dude let's fucking let's get a bird with this thing uh it's fucked up and we did a class i did like a course or a class or like was an after-school thing maybe what you fucking nerd and i got there and it was a bunch of you know fucking rocket kids not me i was i was odd man out a bunch of rocket kids and they were like with the stickers and the decals like dude fucking i'm going bare bones give me the fucking tube give me the dozzle give me the engine let's fucking let's like the candle on this puppy somebody draw skull and bones on this thing and grab the fucking grab the grill lighter will you
Starting point is 01:11:27 i gotta fuck i got an orbit to catch somebody put stuff to frog inside let's do this thing all right let's wrap it up uh that's it oh man i was having a fucking good old time here uh love the family apps love you guys love everybody love the questions thank you so much we will be back next week kippy what do you got for them uh you know obviously you guys are the fucking you know you're the shit you know all the plugs but itunes youtube patreon and i'm at kevin ryan comedy on all social media get us both to 10k i'm like close to eight get us to 10 so we can get the fucking swipe up stories and i can get verified like a fucking gentleman yeah let's keep growing we love you guys very much we'll see you at the live
Starting point is 01:12:10 shows uh again added a second show in atlantic city june 18th make sure you come and see that if you live in indianapolis get some fucking ticks come out and see the squad the live show is fantastic you've seen the natural clip we're gonna have a good time we'll see you there we love you peace

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